transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. What DM did you see that just f***ed with you? Hold up, let's see. Oh my goodness, how do you feel about her texting? Because I'm scrolling up for like hours.

Speaker 2:
[00:14] I hate f***ing them.

Speaker 1:
[00:15] Oh, have you tried to put a boundary on f***ing them? Yes. And?

Speaker 2:
[00:19] And then I have too many emotions and I'm putting her in a box.

Speaker 3:
[00:21] Okay, she also woke me up out of my sleep.

Speaker 2:
[00:23] Okay, but she lied.

Speaker 1:
[00:24] If she is saying, do not send images to this man, I do not like f***ing men. No, she's not trusting you. This is cheating.

Speaker 3:
[00:31] I'm the princess.

Speaker 1:
[00:32] Princess is sending you mad f***ing men?

Speaker 3:
[00:35] Oh, I don't know how to word it better than like, I called the shots, you know?

Speaker 1:
[00:40] I think you should probably just leave.

Speaker 3:
[00:42] You couldn't pay her to.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[01:18] My name is August. I'm 27 years old.

Speaker 3:
[01:20] I'm Jade. I'm 25 years old. We're from New Orleans, Louisiana.

Speaker 2:
[01:24] And this is Financial Audit.

Speaker 1:
[01:26] I feel like I'm doing some kind of mediation thing here. I looked over, saw what the thing is. It says, I'm coming on because my girlfriend treats me like a slave. Well, you're both women, so I don't know which girl treats the other girl like a slave. I have a feeling I'm doing some mediation. Who treats who like a slave? What slavery is going on? Glad we're both white, at least.

Speaker 2:
[01:48] I am the slave.

Speaker 1:
[01:53] You're the slave.

Speaker 2:
[01:54] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[01:55] The butch one, the butcher one?

Speaker 2:
[01:57] Offensive. I'm not a butch. Butcher. I'm a mask, but that's fine.

Speaker 1:
[02:01] Yeah, mask, top, bottom.

Speaker 2:
[02:03] No, I cook clean, plan the dates, pay for the dates.

Speaker 3:
[02:08] I'm a princess.

Speaker 2:
[02:10] She does nothing.

Speaker 1:
[02:11] But you cook clean. You're like the submissive housewife, but also the man.

Speaker 2:
[02:16] Yes. I literally do everything.

Speaker 1:
[02:21] So what's the issue? I'm going to mediate. I want to know what the f*** is going on.

Speaker 2:
[02:29] I'd be fine doing all this stuff if she just like gave me a little bit more of like affection or like emotional understanding, some kind of like closeness.

Speaker 1:
[02:40] You seem like the emotional one. You're like the...

Speaker 3:
[02:43] Exactly. I'm the emotional one. I am bi. So like being with girls is a bit harder for sure.

Speaker 1:
[02:54] Well, yeah, it takes more work down there, if that's what you're talking about. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[02:57] Like I can barely handle my own emotions. I'm supposed to handle hers.

Speaker 2:
[03:00] Oh, that way.

Speaker 1:
[03:01] Yes. No. Yeah. Let me tell you.

Speaker 2:
[03:03] Anytime I have an emotion, it's like it's over. She's immediately angry.

Speaker 1:
[03:09] What do you do? You just f***ing crash out on her at the moment. This makes no sense, because that matches with your aura, and you're swapping. You're getting the butch one.

Speaker 2:
[03:20] I'm still a girl. I wear the boy clothes.

Speaker 1:
[03:24] Yes. Yes.

Speaker 2:
[03:24] Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[03:25] I'm just saying stereotype. Stereotypically. Okay. So what happens? You break down, and you're just like...

Speaker 3:
[03:34] I mean, I just, I feel like I get really frustrated really easily, because again, like... I can't even handle my own emotions, Caleb.

Speaker 2:
[03:41] It's immediate yelling. I'll be like, I'm calm. Like, why are you yelling?

Speaker 3:
[03:44] You're just screaming at her?

Speaker 2:
[03:45] Yes. I'm not screaming.

Speaker 3:
[03:45] I'm just really loud.

Speaker 2:
[03:46] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[03:47] Well, she just said yes. Hey, the one that's saying you do, says you do. Give me an example. What's the last fight we had? I assume it was something related to coming out on this show. Someone's probably f***ed up here.

Speaker 2:
[03:58] More so has to do with her job.

Speaker 1:
[04:00] Okay. So tell me, what happened?

Speaker 2:
[04:02] What was the conversation?

Speaker 1:
[04:04] What was the conversation?

Speaker 2:
[04:06] She has man hose in her phone.

Speaker 3:
[04:12] She acts like she doesn't have her own.

Speaker 2:
[04:17] Okay. But like, I don't... I go through the text messages every now and again. It's very like flirty.

Speaker 3:
[04:24] Now and again is crazy. It is constant.

Speaker 2:
[04:28] She gives me no reassurance to feel stable in the relationship. Like my position is safe.

Speaker 3:
[04:35] Strongly disagree.

Speaker 1:
[04:37] Give your point then, because I have no... I am kind of on her side.

Speaker 3:
[04:41] I constantly remind her, like, I want to be with her. When we first talked about like our whole arrangement and stuff, like I chose to stay for a reason because I want to be with her. I just, you know, I like both. I want to have both. Like Hannah Montana, best of both worlds.

Speaker 1:
[04:59] And how do you feel about this?

Speaker 2:
[05:01] Actions speak louder than her words.

Speaker 1:
[05:03] So what are the actions that are happening that are...

Speaker 2:
[05:06] There are no actions.

Speaker 1:
[05:07] What actions would you want to see?

Speaker 2:
[05:09] Just like, you know, if I'm driving, which I always am, like just a hand on the lap, or if I'm cooking, she can just come hug me, or like just random kisses throughout the day.

Speaker 1:
[05:19] Women care about such weird things. I don't understand. I'm just, I'm connecting eyes with Brandon over here, and both of us just don't get it. Like, I provide these, because they are also requested in my relationship. I don't fully understand it, though.

Speaker 3:
[05:31] So you do stuff because it's requested, not just because you don't do?

Speaker 1:
[05:35] No, but also because I love her. I want to do it because I love her.

Speaker 3:
[05:39] Because you want to fulfill a need, not because it's something that you need to do.

Speaker 1:
[05:41] Yeah, but out of love, not out of a chore, I want to do it because she wants it, right?

Speaker 3:
[05:46] Right!

Speaker 1:
[05:47] So why aren't you doing it because she wants it?

Speaker 3:
[05:48] I do!

Speaker 1:
[05:49] She just said she's not, you're not.

Speaker 3:
[05:51] No, she, like, I'll go to give her a random kiss like she wants, and then she'll be like, but you don't want to. And I'm like, I'm doing it!

Speaker 1:
[06:01] Okay, that's weird. Like, yeah, why hurt her like that? Why immediately go, well, I mean, that's just like, she's doing something because of you, but because she wants to, because she loves you, why hurt her in that and try to make that worse? Which means you won't get fulfillment on either end. It will just bring, like, pressure.

Speaker 2:
[06:17] I don't, I feel like it's just been going on for so long that, like, now I feel like I need to extra put on pressure because it's been, like, two and a half years. But, I mean, I hit on every love language, you know what I'm saying, like, words of affirmation, acts of, like, service. My real showing of love is buying her stuff because that's, you know, how I was raised.

Speaker 1:
[06:40] Is that what she likes?

Speaker 3:
[06:41] I love a gift. I love a trinket.

Speaker 2:
[06:44] She likes acts of service a lot.

Speaker 1:
[06:45] Okay, so you said it stems from her job and people sliding into the DMs from the job. What was that?

Speaker 3:
[06:52] It's the whip.

Speaker 1:
[06:53] Okay, is that the f*** with her? Because the slave thing? Is this like an ongoing thing?

Speaker 2:
[06:58] It is an ongoing thing.

Speaker 1:
[06:59] That's not necessarily good if that's actually her problem. Why are you like feeding into her insecurity in this relationship? That's not, that's like deeply uncaring.

Speaker 3:
[07:10] I care.

Speaker 1:
[07:11] No, that action is deeply uncaring where she has specifically brought on to the coming out of the show that she feels like you treat her like a slave, and then you make a joke about it.

Speaker 3:
[07:22] But I have been, like lately, because she complains about it, I'll be like...

Speaker 1:
[07:27] She complains about what?

Speaker 3:
[07:29] About doing too much or being a slave. I have tried to start... Well, I've tried to start doing stuff for myself, and she's like, no, I want to do it for you. So it's just to catch me too. Like, I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't.

Speaker 1:
[07:47] What's your job?

Speaker 3:
[07:48] I'm an entertainer.

Speaker 2:
[07:50] That's true.

Speaker 1:
[07:52] So who's sliding into these DMs?

Speaker 2:
[07:54] Oh, she hands out her number like she's Oprah.

Speaker 1:
[07:57] So what DM did you see that just f**ked you? Hold up. Let's see. Let's see. Where is it right now?

Speaker 2:
[08:08] I will say is a flirt. She pays attention.

Speaker 1:
[08:12] You pick the chat. The chat that is so egregious, you pick. This is your chance, Ms. August. Ms. Emotional Mask August to choose.

Speaker 4:
[08:25] Oh, you could just go through it.

Speaker 1:
[08:28] Okay. Now, this is Financial Audit. I need to bring this to finances in some way so far, and I have not in seven minutes.

Speaker 2:
[08:34] They're not paying her. They're not giving her money. That would be a different conversation.

Speaker 1:
[08:38] Are they supposed to?

Speaker 2:
[08:39] That would be a different conversation.

Speaker 3:
[08:42] Okay. He did pay me when I met him.

Speaker 1:
[08:44] Do you have sugar daddies?

Speaker 3:
[08:46] No. I want one.

Speaker 1:
[08:47] Let's see how this, or am I going to have to be scrolling forever?

Speaker 3:
[08:50] You're going to be scrolling forever.

Speaker 1:
[08:51] man.

Speaker 2:
[08:51] What are we doing? It's like three weeks of shit.

Speaker 1:
[08:54] Three weeks? This is all three weeks?

Speaker 2:
[08:58] Just one.

Speaker 3:
[08:59] But he's on distance. It's not like we hang out.

Speaker 1:
[09:02] Why has he given you money?

Speaker 3:
[09:04] When I met him, I met him at work. I went out of town.

Speaker 1:
[09:07] Oh my goodness. How do you feel about her texting? I'm scrolling up for like hours right now.

Speaker 2:
[09:13] I hate you.

Speaker 1:
[09:14] Have you tried to put a boundary?

Speaker 2:
[09:16] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[09:17] And?

Speaker 2:
[09:17] And then I have too many emotions and I'm putting her in a box.

Speaker 3:
[09:20] Okay. She also woke me up out of my sleep.

Speaker 2:
[09:22] Okay. But she lied.

Speaker 1:
[09:23] Tell me. Tell me about that. I don't know what's happening. What will happen?

Speaker 2:
[09:26] Did you send pictures? You know, is there anything I should be concerned about?

Speaker 3:
[09:30] There's nothing we can talk about.

Speaker 1:
[09:31] He sent a boner there kind of.

Speaker 5:
[09:33] So you're saying with Hilton Honors, I can use points for a free night stay anywhere?

Speaker 2:
[09:38] Anywhere.

Speaker 5:
[09:39] What about fancy places like the Canopy in Paris?

Speaker 2:
[09:41] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[09:42] Hilton Honors, baby.

Speaker 5:
[09:43] Or relaxing sanctuaries like the Conrad and Tulum?

Speaker 7:
[09:46] Hilton Honors, baby.

Speaker 5:
[09:49] What about the five-star Waldorf Astoria in the Maldives?

Speaker 6:
[09:52] Are you going to do this for all 9,000 properties?

Speaker 8:
[09:55] When you want points that can take you anywhere, anytime, it matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. Book your spring break now.

Speaker 2:
[10:03] Yeah, pictures first.

Speaker 1:
[10:04] Covered, covered, so I didn't have to see his penis. Thank goodness.

Speaker 2:
[10:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[10:07] Why are you texting him so much? Like, it's so much. Bro, this isn't even... This is not even two weeks ago. I'm still going hard. It's nice to be able... Also, huge Charlie Kirk fan.

Speaker 3:
[10:20] Who?

Speaker 1:
[10:21] You. I don't know. Notifications from Charlie Kirk just popped up.

Speaker 3:
[10:25] I'm screaming. Was it Twitter?

Speaker 1:
[10:27] I'm turning on Do Not Disturb.

Speaker 3:
[10:28] Those randomly come on. I'm not a fan.

Speaker 1:
[10:29] I want to be so clear.

Speaker 3:
[10:30] Oh, well, there we go.

Speaker 1:
[10:31] There it is. So, you specifically requested that she did not share any of these?

Speaker 3:
[10:35] What are you seeing?

Speaker 1:
[10:37] Booty.

Speaker 3:
[10:38] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[10:38] Vagina. I've just seen your...

Speaker 3:
[10:42] Okay, cool.

Speaker 1:
[10:43] On this show.

Speaker 3:
[10:44] Cool.

Speaker 1:
[10:44] Well, you're a stripper, so I assume you don't care, and there's more booty. Awesome.

Speaker 3:
[10:49] I forgot about that.

Speaker 1:
[10:50] And how do you feel about this? Or really? Because this is what she said you lied about.

Speaker 3:
[10:55] I didn't lie about those.

Speaker 1:
[10:56] You woke her up in the middle of the night. Why?

Speaker 2:
[10:58] So I have really bad anxiety, and I was not able to sleep, and I was like, let me just, I'm like a pinksy, you know? Yeah, I know. I know. I know. So.

Speaker 1:
[11:12] Chad, that's full flap. Being sent to another man.

Speaker 3:
[11:15] Flap is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[11:17] That's full flap, being sent to another man.

Speaker 2:
[11:19] So I work at the club with her as a bartender. So I do meet these men. They do know that we are dating. Wait, can you pull up a picture of him just so Caleb can see how hideous this man is?

Speaker 3:
[11:33] Who's going to find it?

Speaker 2:
[11:35] This man is.

Speaker 3:
[11:36] He's going to get there eventually.

Speaker 2:
[11:37] Hideous.

Speaker 1:
[11:38] Am I?

Speaker 3:
[11:39] It's a really bad picture. He takes bad pictures.

Speaker 1:
[11:43] Okay, well, what's he even paying for? You got no boobs.

Speaker 3:
[11:45] Would you like to donate some?

Speaker 1:
[11:47] Nope.

Speaker 3:
[11:47] All right.

Speaker 1:
[11:49] I don't think he has a picture of him. Okay, so she's sending this too. She's sending this. Okay, great. You're sending that. You only started talking to him a couple months ago, and you put the boundary of no sending images?

Speaker 2:
[12:01] It was more like I was just asking, you know what I'm saying? Like, are you?

Speaker 1:
[12:05] Are we f***ing kidding ourselves right now?

Speaker 5:
[12:09] Stop, Caleb!

Speaker 1:
[12:10] This is crazy. This is crazy.

Speaker 2:
[12:14] That is what I saw in what we're up out of the herself board.

Speaker 1:
[12:16] That's upsetting. That sound is, that's a very moist sound you got going on. So this guy is making you excited. Bro, just like, what are we doing? No, no, no. I turned down the volume. Now, let me go see what the most recent chats are. Yes, this would make me freak out too. If she's putting, now I assume boundaries are a little more loose because we're stripping.

Speaker 2:
[12:39] Correct, yes.

Speaker 1:
[12:40] But if she is saying, do not send images to this man, I do not like, no shit, she's not trusting you. What are you doing? This is cheating. This is cheating.

Speaker 2:
[12:49] And that's what we talked about. I mean, I'm okay, you know, if she wants to get her flirting from the guys or whatever, I'm allowed to get some Sally on the side and flirt if I want to.

Speaker 1:
[12:59] What a mess. I mean, if you guys says...

Speaker 3:
[13:01] I'm the princess.

Speaker 1:
[13:03] Princess is sending you masturbating to men?

Speaker 3:
[13:06] Oh, I mean, I just like... I don't know how to word it better than like, I call the shots, you know?

Speaker 1:
[13:18] And what about her, the person you're with? Or I think you should probably just leave, right?

Speaker 3:
[13:22] I give her the... You couldn't pay her to.

Speaker 1:
[13:24] Well, what is it? Is it a desperation thing? That's horrible. That's disgusting. I've never heard something that bad on this show. Oh, dang. That's evil. No, that is evil. Is that not evil?

Speaker 3:
[13:37] I'm not a hypocrite, though. I give her all the same rights that I have.

Speaker 2:
[13:42] The thing is, is that I don't really want it from other people. I just kind of want it from her.

Speaker 3:
[13:47] She does it, though.

Speaker 2:
[13:48] And so, like, it does kind of suck that the things I ask for, from other people, get without putting in the work that I do.

Speaker 1:
[13:56] That is true. You're giving this guy full, like, cream.

Speaker 2:
[13:59] Thanks.

Speaker 1:
[14:00] Thanks.

Speaker 3:
[14:00] There was no cream.

Speaker 2:
[14:01] No, literally.

Speaker 1:
[14:02] And she just wants your—are we wived? Uh— Oh, f*** what? Oh, no, f*** what?

Speaker 2:
[14:12] We were talking about, you know, getting engaged and— Okay, just talking. Getting married in the, uh, in the summer?

Speaker 3:
[14:19] Well, like, there was a ring.

Speaker 2:
[14:21] There was a ring that has been returned.

Speaker 1:
[14:24] Was tempted to dance for you for free, she sends the note. Oh, correct. Are we like, cause, like, guys— I didn't do it, though. There is a s*** ton of paperwork here. You're prosecuting yourself, but what are we doing? I'd never take financial advantage of you, baby.

Speaker 3:
[14:36] Okay, she knows about the pet names, but I just— I don't say, like, my baby, cause she's my baby.

Speaker 1:
[14:44] Have you ever f***ed him?

Speaker 3:
[14:45] No.

Speaker 1:
[14:46] Answer a question truthfully right now.

Speaker 3:
[14:47] I swear.

Speaker 1:
[14:48] A different question.

Speaker 3:
[14:49] Oh.

Speaker 1:
[14:49] Have you ever given favors?

Speaker 2:
[14:51] Like a hand job or something.

Speaker 1:
[14:53] Even a hand job?

Speaker 3:
[14:54] No. No.

Speaker 1:
[14:55] Bulls***.

Speaker 3:
[14:56] No.

Speaker 1:
[14:57] With that kind of crap, I do not believe that for a second.

Speaker 3:
[15:00] Swearesees.

Speaker 2:
[15:03] I have asked these questions multiple times, and— Even outside of work.

Speaker 3:
[15:08] No. No.

Speaker 1:
[15:09] You never met up with one of them outside.

Speaker 3:
[15:12] We might have hung out, but it was in public. It was at IHOP.

Speaker 2:
[15:15] I did confirm that with the people she was with.

Speaker 3:
[15:18] We were at IHOP.

Speaker 2:
[15:19] Did confirm.

Speaker 1:
[15:21] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[15:23] Even her friends were pissed off with it.

Speaker 1:
[15:24] So, you guys were engaged, and then you got bored, and then you kicked it off, is what I'm being told.

Speaker 3:
[15:30] I wouldn't say bored.

Speaker 1:
[15:31] And you called off the engagement.

Speaker 3:
[15:32] It was more like a bisexual crisis.

Speaker 1:
[15:35] Well, okay. Hey, can we just do this? Because I like the emo one right now, the one that looks like she smells of cigarettes, but thankfully doesn't. I like her.

Speaker 2:
[15:44] Oh, not you.

Speaker 1:
[15:45] I like her. She seems like a normal, well, she seems like a person. She seems like we'd get along. I'm on her side.

Speaker 3:
[15:54] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[15:55] And you're stringing her along.

Speaker 3:
[15:59] No.

Speaker 1:
[16:00] You absolutely are, which I do not like. I'm sorry, this is a bit springer right now. I know, I will get into this, I promise. But hey, man, this is where the conversation's naturally gone. If she is doing everything for you, you're not giving any of the love language, which is not, I think you push back against that a little bit, in a way I don't like, for what it's worth, August. And then you call off the engagement, because you're having a bisexual crisis, because you probably...

Speaker 3:
[16:21] It was more of a mutual conversation, though.

Speaker 1:
[16:24] Can we just be completely honest? What are you, 25?

Speaker 3:
[16:27] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[16:28] I've seen where the story goes. You're lezzed up.

Speaker 9:
[16:33] I'm lezzed up.

Speaker 1:
[16:35] Yeah, you're full clit.

Speaker 3:
[16:37] Strictly, undrictly.

Speaker 1:
[16:39] Yeah. You're going to want to end up with a guy.

Speaker 3:
[16:42] No.

Speaker 2:
[16:42] So, we have talked about this before.

Speaker 1:
[16:44] I really feel like this.

Speaker 3:
[16:45] I just like them as side pieces.

Speaker 1:
[16:47] I don't know, man. I don't know. I feel like you're going to want that princess treatment, the classic...

Speaker 3:
[16:55] She is my man, my man, my baby, my baby.

Speaker 1:
[16:57] But she doesn't like that.

Speaker 2:
[16:59] So, we've talked about it before in detail. I've asked her when she's dated men in the past, do you miss women, being with women? And she's like, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[17:09] She doesn't even kiss me right now, I'm being told. So, it's like...

Speaker 3:
[17:12] I can't.

Speaker 2:
[17:14] Yeah, she does just give me kisses.

Speaker 3:
[17:15] I mean, I give her kisses. She can't pucker? I just can't make out right now.

Speaker 2:
[17:19] To be fair, I want high school makeouts. It's fine that I don't get it all the time.

Speaker 3:
[17:24] She likes to spit in her mouth.

Speaker 1:
[17:27] I don't get it. I've never been a makeout person. I don't get it. I don't want someone's mouth.

Speaker 2:
[17:32] I'm definitely someone that life is short. If you're bisexual and you want both.

Speaker 1:
[17:38] Not necessarily. You can do a lot of things that aren't making out that are not vanilla.

Speaker 2:
[17:43] Correct.

Speaker 1:
[17:47] What do you make? The slave. What does the slave make?

Speaker 2:
[17:50] Anywhere between $3,500 to $4,000 a month.

Speaker 1:
[17:54] That's pretty good. Is that net? Is that what hits?

Speaker 2:
[17:56] Yeah, that's what I...

Speaker 1:
[17:57] I'll put it $35,000 to be safe. Jade, no favors on the side. What do you make a month?

Speaker 3:
[18:02] Uh, roughly $7,000.

Speaker 1:
[18:07] Really? Does that line up? You believe that?

Speaker 2:
[18:09] Yes. I... Yeah, we...

Speaker 1:
[18:11] Just making sure.

Speaker 3:
[18:13] What?

Speaker 1:
[18:13] It's mostly just tips thrown on stage, or is it the lappies?

Speaker 3:
[18:16] Well, I also have, like, a remote job.

Speaker 1:
[18:19] Doing what?

Speaker 3:
[18:20] I'm an abstractor.

Speaker 1:
[18:22] Okay, what the is she talking about?

Speaker 2:
[18:24] Some kind of lawyer shit. I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[18:26] So, the firm I work for, they, like, represent banks during, like, foreclosures.

Speaker 10:
[18:34] And what do you do?

Speaker 3:
[18:35] I'm, like, their little bitch. I collect, like, the files for them.

Speaker 1:
[18:39] Well, or is someone attracted to you?

Speaker 3:
[18:42] No, I don't even go there. They just found out that I have pink hair.

Speaker 1:
[18:47] You're trusted with legal files.

Speaker 3:
[18:49] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[18:50] And how much you pay? What of your seven comes from that?

Speaker 3:
[18:53] It's, like, 13-something every two weeks.

Speaker 1:
[18:56] Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. So...

Speaker 3:
[18:59] Roughly. They recently...

Speaker 1:
[19:00] So you're still making a decent amount stripping.

Speaker 3:
[19:03] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[19:03] Mostly lap dances and whatnot, I assume.

Speaker 3:
[19:05] Stage has been better lately, though.

Speaker 1:
[19:07] I'm being told you don't... You honestly don't even know what the job is. You just sometimes close the laptop and walk away.

Speaker 2:
[19:14] And does.

Speaker 3:
[19:17] I'm not saying I'm good at it. I do have family members that also work there, so they help me a lot when I'm confused.

Speaker 2:
[19:25] Mommy.

Speaker 1:
[19:26] Oh, and I assume that is quite often.

Speaker 3:
[19:29] Every day. Man. A little bit.

Speaker 1:
[19:33] Okay. So I'm just confused. Is there even actually a future here? I'm not denying that there might be love for each other, but you want dicks, she doesn't necessarily like that, you're always in guys' DMs, she says no, yet you literally lie about that. I do not believe you don't get favors outside of the same. I'm being told your sex drives don't even match. You're treating her like a slave and she hates it, and you don't give her any of the love languages she likes. So what's the sex-

Speaker 3:
[19:55] I feel like I've gotten a lot better at the love languages. Like I've gotten a lot more affectionate. I've started telling her how cute her outfits are because she loves that.

Speaker 2:
[20:04] Pause.

Speaker 1:
[20:06] They do like that.

Speaker 2:
[20:07] I have to be like, do I look okay?

Speaker 3:
[20:10] Oh, bullshit. The other day, I did it unprovoked.

Speaker 2:
[20:14] One time.

Speaker 3:
[20:15] Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2:
[20:16] And this, a lot more, I feel like is a bit of a reach. Okay, I might get like a-

Speaker 8:
[20:26] We're in the car.

Speaker 3:
[20:27] What do you want me to do? Suck your lips?

Speaker 2:
[20:30] Anything, genuinely, anything. I'll take anything.

Speaker 3:
[20:33] I play with her hair when we're in the car. What more can I do? And she has a new tattoo on her arm, so I try to avoid her arm.

Speaker 2:
[20:41] That was Monday. That's f***ing Monday.

Speaker 1:
[20:44] Yeah, that's a f***ing bullshit excuse. Okay, so it sounds like you're really not doing more?

Speaker 2:
[20:53] Pitiful efforts.

Speaker 1:
[20:54] Why are you still in this relationship with someone who wants penis and literally will not-

Speaker 3:
[20:59] But I want cooch too!

Speaker 1:
[21:01] Great, but she doesn't want you doing all this stuff and sending these videos to men. And she has said no, and yet you are still doing it.

Speaker 3:
[21:08] But to be clear, she left the house specifically knowing about like some pictures.

Speaker 1:
[21:17] Huh?

Speaker 7:
[21:18] Wait, no, no, what are you saying?

Speaker 1:
[21:19] I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2:
[21:20] I know that you sent pics, but what are you talking about leaving the house?

Speaker 3:
[21:23] The Snapchat day.

Speaker 2:
[21:26] I don't know what the f*** she's talking about. Anyway, no, I love her more than anything.

Speaker 1:
[21:33] But is it good for you? Is it good for your life? You're 27, you're aging out.

Speaker 2:
[21:37] I know. So that is also a fear factor. But, no, I have a degree in psychology. I've always been very open minded. I don't think that bisexual people should be put in a box. You know, I am, you know, like life is short.

Speaker 1:
[21:56] Do you want to be monogamous?

Speaker 2:
[21:57] I don't even know that much myself right now. Like, I know that I love her and I want to be with her.

Speaker 1:
[22:03] She doesn't need to be put in a box, but it's okay to be monogamous. It's also okay to not be.

Speaker 3:
[22:07] She did admit to being excited that she can act on certain temptations that she has had.

Speaker 1:
[22:15] Do you?

Speaker 2:
[22:15] I have had temptations. Do you?

Speaker 1:
[22:17] Well, everyone does. And when polled independently, the vast majority of people, mostly men, but even the vast majority of people prefer open. I mean, that's not a crazy concept. You suck with money, so you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, YNAB, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to Every Dollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they've got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end? And there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like DollarWise. Build by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest, but what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money, we like free money. You can get up to $200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out, link in the description below. Sign up for Chime, get that $350 right now in your checking account. Yeah. But you have to be both on the same page with clear guidelines and rules, and you're not following those rules. You're not following those boundaries. So, which equates to them cheating. And we do not like cheating here. Why? I do not. I understand your love, but it might be bad for you. This person that is abusing you, financially abusing you, milking you, not giving you anything you want, not even listening to your boundaries or instruction, does not respect and then tells you you're wrong to your face. I do not understand why you are putting up with it. I really do not. Other than love, and love is not enough good reason in the end.

Speaker 2:
[24:18] That's fair. My biggest issue with her is the lying. I'd be fine with the pictures being sent. I'd be fine with whatever.

Speaker 1:
[24:25] Wait, you raised her son for her. I didn't know you had a kid.

Speaker 7:
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Speaker 3:
[24:59] I do.

Speaker 1:
[24:59] And you just raised her son for her?

Speaker 3:
[25:01] What are you?

Speaker 1:
[25:02] You're a failure.

Speaker 3:
[25:04] You're a loser. She does not raise him for me.

Speaker 1:
[25:06] You have a son? How old?

Speaker 3:
[25:07] I do. He's going to be seven in August. He's six.

Speaker 1:
[25:09] Oh, 18?

Speaker 3:
[25:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:12] Why? What happened?

Speaker 3:
[25:14] I started college and got knocked up.

Speaker 2:
[25:17] Why?

Speaker 8:
[25:19] It's not complicated these days.

Speaker 2:
[25:21] She was living like sex in the city back then.

Speaker 3:
[25:24] He did tell me that he was pretty sure he was sterile because he has type 1 diabetes. I was 18. Why would I know better?

Speaker 1:
[25:37] Is he in the picture?

Speaker 2:
[25:40] No.

Speaker 1:
[25:40] Are you getting money?

Speaker 3:
[25:41] No.

Speaker 1:
[25:42] Why have you not tried to get it legally?

Speaker 3:
[25:44] Because then-

Speaker 1:
[25:45] Does he even know? Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:47] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[25:48] He lives in the same city.

Speaker 3:
[25:50] I heard he moved away again.

Speaker 2:
[25:52] Okay, period. Better not.

Speaker 1:
[25:54] Why not go to the court? Get money.

Speaker 3:
[25:56] Well, because then he would try to be in my son's life and him and his wife are like the f*** out.

Speaker 1:
[26:04] Why were you a f***head?

Speaker 2:
[26:06] That was her type. She likes ugly men and men that have issues. Just serious issues.

Speaker 3:
[26:13] At the time, I felt like I could fix him.

Speaker 1:
[26:18] Girl, your life is completely... I don't know what you're thinking. He's not even on the birth certificate. Okay.

Speaker 3:
[26:22] No.

Speaker 1:
[26:23] Bro, I really don't get it. This is such a f***ing mess. And you're just breaking every boundary on a man. You want to start a f***ing mess. She's not in favor of that, but you want her to join something she's not even in favor of. It's like everything here is broken. I do not understand what you're doing to self-centered. You're hurting yourself. You're like self-inflicted hurting yourself. I really don't get it. I bet there's a connection to the kid. I bet that's pulling some weight as well. Or raising a kid for her because she's a f***ing failure is kind of gross.

Speaker 3:
[26:52] He does not raise him for me. I do homework with him every day. Well, he begs to do it with my mom a lot. So whenever she has time, we live in a house where it's four generations of us.

Speaker 2:
[27:08] We did get approved for the apartment yesterday, though. So we will be moving out.

Speaker 1:
[27:13] Oh my goodness. I couldn't imagine the absolute chaos.

Speaker 2:
[27:17] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:18] I have a lot of paperwork in front of me. Who's fault? What's going on?

Speaker 3:
[27:21] I definitely have the majority of it.

Speaker 1:
[27:22] So there we go. So it's life abuse. It's financial abuse. It's everything. You're carrying down the relationship.

Speaker 5:
[27:28] Why are you there?

Speaker 1:
[27:31] Why? It doesn't make sense anymore. It doesn't make sense anymore.

Speaker 2:
[27:34] The sex is good.

Speaker 1:
[27:36] Is it? I was told the drive is completely different.

Speaker 3:
[27:40] She has the libido of Andrew from Big Mouth.

Speaker 2:
[27:43] I do.

Speaker 3:
[27:44] Or like Jay.

Speaker 2:
[27:46] I could go all day every day.

Speaker 1:
[27:50] And you?

Speaker 3:
[27:51] Like a rabbit.

Speaker 1:
[27:52] Not you?

Speaker 3:
[27:53] Because in the beginning, I was definitely a lot closer to matching it, but I definitely feel like the repressing my sexuality was affecting things. And especially because when we first got together...

Speaker 1:
[28:09] Repressing being into men, like which is pretty normal.

Speaker 3:
[28:11] Well, when we first got together, like one of the first conversations we ever had, she was like, yeah, I don't care if you have like a boyfriend on the side. And then like a week later, she was like, yeah, never mind.

Speaker 1:
[28:22] Yeah, because I could understand how that would be leading to jealousy, especially if emotions are being developed on the other side.

Speaker 2:
[28:28] Keep in mind, she was like, no, I'm very monogamous, like when I said that.

Speaker 1:
[28:33] Hey, when was the last time you took a dick? Answer truthfully.

Speaker 2:
[28:39] Yeah, I mean truthfully. We had a monogétoire. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:47] So you can't be against that, that if you participated.

Speaker 2:
[28:49] I participated because I love her and I wanted.

Speaker 1:
[28:55] How long ago?

Speaker 9:
[28:59] Last summer?

Speaker 1:
[29:00] So you haven't independently been with someone in a while. You're just sending images and photos.

Speaker 2:
[29:04] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[29:05] Yeah. No, I didn't hook up with nobody.

Speaker 1:
[29:07] And if you would just go hook up with a guy, then what?

Speaker 3:
[29:10] Well, we would talk about it.

Speaker 2:
[29:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[29:13] Like, I would tell her.

Speaker 2:
[29:14] It definitely wouldn't be anybody that she's texting like this. It would have to be like strictly a hook up and then like.

Speaker 3:
[29:20] Hit it and quit it.

Speaker 2:
[29:21] Yeah, not this emotional shit.

Speaker 1:
[29:23] I definitely agree with that. Okay. So what's our future looking like? You're a bartender, you're a stripper, and then family's helping you out on something.

Speaker 2:
[29:33] I love this.

Speaker 3:
[29:34] Family helps her more.

Speaker 2:
[29:35] Family does help me, but I'm in school. Like I said, I had my degree in psychology. I'm now pursuing civil engineering to give her even more of a princess life.

Speaker 1:
[29:49] And that's what you want to do. You want to enable her even more, the one who has drive this down with all this debt. What's the household debt? What do we think the household debt is?

Speaker 3:
[29:56] I know mine. I'm like...

Speaker 1:
[29:58] Household. We just go... Guys, we've been engaged.

Speaker 2:
[30:00] I have no debt, so it would be all hers, and I would guess...

Speaker 3:
[30:04] Like $72,000.

Speaker 2:
[30:06] I guess like $45,000. $70,000.

Speaker 3:
[30:10] With like school.

Speaker 1:
[30:11] $72,845.

Speaker 2:
[30:14] Can you repeat that?

Speaker 1:
[30:15] $72,845. And this princess treatment is only leading us deeper in the hole. The household brought in $8,000 last month, which doesn't align with the numbers you gave me. It's lower than that. But even still, out was $10,800.

Speaker 3:
[30:31] Oh.

Speaker 1:
[30:33] Yeah, debt goes up. I'm being told, yes, you want to do sinful engineering to make more money, but Jade wants you to do sinful engineering so she can stop working.

Speaker 3:
[30:44] No, I want to pursue, you're not going to like it. I'm teaching myself tattooing right now. So I want to be a tattoo artist, but I also am about to finish my degree, and I want to go to grad school so I can be a researcher.

Speaker 1:
[31:02] And?

Speaker 3:
[31:03] Psychology.

Speaker 1:
[31:04] Oh, for sake, guys, what are we doing? You're going to research psychology.

Speaker 2:
[31:08] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[31:10] And tattoo.

Speaker 1:
[31:11] I'm going to kill myself. What the are we talking about?

Speaker 3:
[31:14] I'll be able to help you.

Speaker 2:
[31:15] I always say that she's a jack of all trades and a master of none. She just floats around to whatever idea she's on. She's passionate about it, and then it fizzles out and she's on to the next thing.

Speaker 1:
[31:26] Yeah, I would say so. As in the next person as well, you guys were supposed to get married this summer.

Speaker 2:
[31:30] I will say that that was kind of rushed on both ends, more so I think out of fear of losing each other and just wanting to lock it in.

Speaker 1:
[31:37] What? Getting married would make us lose each other.

Speaker 2:
[31:41] So we don't, so we don't lock that shit in, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[31:45] No, I don't. How often do we fight, guys? Especially on all this shit. I mean, you have to be afraid of the $72,000 of debt that would come into this marriage. Her spending, everything you're supporting.

Speaker 3:
[32:04] I'm not the only spender.

Speaker 1:
[32:06] She's not going into debt for it, though.

Speaker 2:
[32:07] No. I mean, I do love Klarna, but I mean, I pay that shit off.

Speaker 3:
[32:10] She did just open her credit card.

Speaker 1:
[32:12] Okay. Is she going into debt?

Speaker 3:
[32:14] Well, there's like $2,000 on there.

Speaker 1:
[32:16] I have credit cards.

Speaker 3:
[32:18] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[32:19] Is that a balance? Is that balance being paid off?

Speaker 2:
[32:21] Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[32:22] Like, full balance?

Speaker 2:
[32:23] I've been putting like $150 to $200 every time I can.

Speaker 1:
[32:25] She said it's $2,000.

Speaker 2:
[32:26] It is.

Speaker 1:
[32:27] So you're not paying it off?

Speaker 2:
[32:30] I'm making payments to this, isn't it? Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1:
[32:31] That's not. No, no, no, no. You put $2,000 on, you pay $2,000. Oh, You're going down the same hole as her.

Speaker 2:
[32:38] Okay. What are we doing? We did want to go on a cruise this summer, so I just like put it on the clinic.

Speaker 3:
[32:45] Because I'm graduating.

Speaker 2:
[32:47] But I paid off a good bit. From what?

Speaker 3:
[32:48] From college.

Speaker 1:
[32:50] With what bachelor?

Speaker 3:
[32:51] Psychology. Oh, my.

Speaker 1:
[32:53] What is with you guys in psychology?

Speaker 3:
[32:56] I already said it.

Speaker 1:
[32:57] It's like the no. You said you wanted to go into research in psychology. I didn't know you were graduating like right. I didn't know you were in school, psychology right now. What are you guys getting such a worthless degree?

Speaker 3:
[33:07] Well, I want to go grad school, so it won't be worthless after.

Speaker 2:
[33:11] And I wasn't aware of how much schooling and money it takes. So as soon as I didn't get into the master's program, I gave that up.

Speaker 1:
[33:17] What school are you at?

Speaker 3:
[33:18] UNO. It's about to become LSU. We got bought out.

Speaker 1:
[33:23] OK, your school just got bought out.

Speaker 2:
[33:25] That speaks enough for what kind of school you're going to be in.

Speaker 3:
[33:28] It's not that bad.

Speaker 2:
[33:29] No, it is.

Speaker 3:
[33:29] Schools don't just get bought out.

Speaker 2:
[33:30] For my department, it is very bad.

Speaker 1:
[33:33] I'm just trying to picture you in the classroom.

Speaker 3:
[33:36] Right. They love me.

Speaker 1:
[33:38] They might enjoy your personality, maybe. I don't even know. You know, TAs enjoy you.

Speaker 2:
[33:45] No, right.

Speaker 3:
[33:47] Doesn't hate me for sure. She loves me.

Speaker 1:
[33:53] She loves you.

Speaker 3:
[33:54] It's a woman.

Speaker 1:
[33:55] Still.

Speaker 2:
[33:56] I do love her, too.

Speaker 1:
[33:58] A woman professor? Definitely a lesbian.

Speaker 3:
[34:01] I don't think she is, but I don't really know. Would you like to see my bald pussy?

Speaker 1:
[34:06] Okay, that's the cat. Okay, funny. That was good. Wonderful.

Speaker 3:
[34:11] You like that one.

Speaker 1:
[34:12] Okay. What was the last conversation we've had financially?

Speaker 2:
[34:18] I wanted to start helping out, paying for our son's school.

Speaker 1:
[34:22] Well, at least you say are.

Speaker 2:
[34:24] $10,000 a year.

Speaker 1:
[34:26] Why?

Speaker 3:
[34:27] But my mom pays half of it. Why? Do you know the education system in Louisiana?

Speaker 1:
[34:32] I'm sure there's good public school districts and bad public school districts.

Speaker 2:
[34:35] Correct.

Speaker 3:
[34:35] Yes. Because they're still at the bottom of the entire country. It's not good.

Speaker 2:
[34:40] It's better. Mind you, I went to public school, she went to private. We ended up in the same class for the same degree.

Speaker 1:
[34:46] Other charter school options?

Speaker 2:
[34:48] Yes, there are other options, and she doesn't want to make him upset by moving him to a new school.

Speaker 3:
[34:52] Okay. He's seven.

Speaker 1:
[34:54] He doesn't know what the is going on.

Speaker 3:
[34:55] But I want to give him as many resources as I can. There's better teachers, student ratios. They offer all kinds of different programs and stuff. They have a pool on campus and stuff.

Speaker 2:
[35:11] They do little theater things every week that we have to go to. I'm like, are they even learning anything in class?

Speaker 3:
[35:16] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[35:18] Okay. So the conversation is you wanted to provide to that? Even though you're kind of against it?

Speaker 2:
[35:22] I've been against it for so long.

Speaker 1:
[35:23] But you want to provide to it. So make this make sense to me.

Speaker 2:
[35:26] I want to start helping.

Speaker 1:
[35:27] Why? I feel like you do everything.

Speaker 2:
[35:29] She does have a lot of bills. I have no bills.

Speaker 1:
[35:30] Yeah, because she just takes on everything.

Speaker 3:
[35:33] Because her parents help her with her school. They help with her car insurance. I'm on my own for all that.

Speaker 1:
[35:40] Guys, you're 25 and 27. Why are we still doing bachelor degree bullshit?

Speaker 3:
[35:44] Well, I got knocked up my first semester. It took a while.

Speaker 1:
[35:46] Yeah, don't do that with crackheads, freak.

Speaker 3:
[35:48] And I didn't do it again.

Speaker 1:
[35:50] Are you on birth control?

Speaker 3:
[35:52] For what?

Speaker 1:
[35:53] You take dick sometimes.

Speaker 3:
[35:55] Once, and it was wrapped.

Speaker 1:
[35:56] Well, that's good.

Speaker 2:
[35:57] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[35:58] Glad to hear that.

Speaker 3:
[35:59] Can y'all cut that? No.

Speaker 2:
[36:02] You're slurping?

Speaker 3:
[36:03] No, I spilled a little. Thanks. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[36:11] And how did that conversation go, though?

Speaker 2:
[36:13] Anytime that we talk about finances, like, it's, that's the only calm fights that we have.

Speaker 1:
[36:18] Really?

Speaker 2:
[36:19] Yeah, she did the math on it, because obviously I make significantly less than she does. It rounded up to about me donating, about, like, contributing 400.

Speaker 1:
[36:28] Why is there no issues there in financial conversations?

Speaker 2:
[36:31] Because we both like spending money.

Speaker 1:
[36:34] So we both agree on doing poorly.

Speaker 3:
[36:36] Correct.

Speaker 1:
[36:37] Is anyone going to step up and be the adult for the future of your relationship? For the future of the seven-year-olds? You're trying. Is she trying?

Speaker 3:
[36:44] I'm going to apply.

Speaker 1:
[36:46] Who's trying? Both? Do you guys agree on trying?

Speaker 3:
[36:49] Okay, I'm the one that says, no, let's not go to Target. She will be like, let's go to, there's a store called Tiny Buffalo. It has like, the boo-boos and shit. Yeah. She'll be like, let's go to Tiny Buffalo today. Let's go to Target. Let's go to the Pokemon store. And I'm like, let's not, because I know that I have no self-control. I also like, I don't look at price tags. Like if I see it and I want it, I'm getting it.

Speaker 2:
[37:19] She'll be like, should we get this one or this one? I'm like, well, this one's $2. This one's $24. Let's get the cheaper one.

Speaker 3:
[37:26] But again, that's why I try to avoid like going in there, period.

Speaker 1:
[37:32] So how did the conversation go? If she wants to go, you don't want to go. What happens?

Speaker 2:
[37:36] We go.

Speaker 3:
[37:36] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[37:38] So why? Why does she win? Why does the irresponsibility win?

Speaker 3:
[37:40] She has to win sometimes, doesn't she?

Speaker 1:
[37:42] Yeah, but if it's winning only in the financial negatives for us, why is it always a win on this side?

Speaker 3:
[37:47] I pay for stuff too, though.

Speaker 1:
[37:49] No, no, no, but if you're saying no, we can't afford it. Why does she always win?

Speaker 2:
[37:53] It might not be always. She might tell me no, like one out of ten times.

Speaker 3:
[37:58] I've seen my girl a couple of times. We did not go to the Honey Buffalo last time, she asked.

Speaker 2:
[38:01] No, we didn't.

Speaker 1:
[38:02] Well, okay, so one time. I'm glad the financial conversations are a little better, but it's because you guys are aligned on being shit. Who's trying to change more quickly? I think it's you. Are you going to hold back the relationship? Are you going to hold back the finances at this house because your parents are the one funding everything? So, you've never had to actually realize sacrifice and budgeting and understanding money?

Speaker 2:
[38:21] Correct, yes. There is that. But I also like to buy shit when I'm sad.

Speaker 1:
[38:27] Well, you're sad all the time because she's horrible.

Speaker 2:
[38:29] Correct, yes. So, I mean...

Speaker 3:
[38:32] I don't think I'm horrible. But it's also discouraging when I do put in efforts, and she's like, oh, I just... And then I'll say, well, I've been doing this and this, and she's like, oh, that's true. It's like a hindsight acknowledgement.

Speaker 1:
[38:46] Yeah. No, no, no. I mean, I get that too. I get that too. I, you know...

Speaker 3:
[38:50] And it's hard to keep momentum like that, you know?

Speaker 1:
[38:52] It is. No, no, no. The girlfriend I love to the end of the world is, you know, similar to you in that regard, and I'm more similar to you. I'm not love... But like, I am similar where it's less of my natural instinct to be like that, and the other person wants it. So, it can be a little discouraging when you, you know, hear only the negatives and you want to do better. So, I do get that. You just have to be more supportive of what she's at least trying to do because she's trying to do it for you. She's not doing it for her, she's doing it for you.

Speaker 2:
[39:19] Late in the game, like it's shit that I've been begging for.

Speaker 1:
[39:21] Okay, do you want it to never happen though? Like what? Like what's the alternative?

Speaker 2:
[39:26] It just feels like a little, like a sprinkle of what I've been asking for.

Speaker 1:
[39:30] You can accept that there's positive movement, you can leave, or you can hope that nothing ever happens. Which one are you going to do?

Speaker 2:
[39:36] I'll go with the first one.

Speaker 1:
[39:37] Yeah, I think would be the only fair option, right? And you just gotta keep stepping up and doing better. You really do.

Speaker 3:
[39:45] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[39:46] But actually.

Speaker 1:
[39:46] You have to keep the momentum up, and you have to help her by not disencouraging her. And putting that pressure on. When it's all pressure, it makes it hard.

Speaker 2:
[39:54] And then I paid for it.

Speaker 3:
[39:55] OK, I bought us a $200.

Speaker 2:
[39:57] She bought her friend a $200 dinner.

Speaker 3:
[39:59] Did you not eat?

Speaker 2:
[40:00] Did I not contribute towards the bill?

Speaker 3:
[40:03] Voluntarily, I told you not to give me money, but I'll tell her not to do these things, and she's like, I want to. And then I don't buy it. I still get like put down for it, even though she said it's what she wanted to do.

Speaker 1:
[40:18] So how often are you guys fighting? Now, finances isn't one of the biggest fight things. How often are we fighting in this relationship?

Speaker 2:
[40:23] It's been more recently that we've been fighting.

Speaker 1:
[40:29] Really? What's it ramping up because and for why?

Speaker 2:
[40:31] Just the lack of communication. Like, I cannot bring up anything. Like, I'll bring up a boundary or I'll bring up something that bothers me.

Speaker 1:
[40:38] Give me an example.

Speaker 2:
[40:40] Texting all day. Like, she'll ignore me or our son. No, they're what, yes, don't. To text whoever the back. And I'm like, you know, I'll bring it up. And it's just instant, like, raise voice and like just pissed off, shuts it down immediately. And like, it used to not be like that. Like, we used to have really good conversation. And communication skills. And now it's just, she shuts down immediately.

Speaker 3:
[41:09] My thing is just, it's just all the time. So it's just, it's hard. It gets overwhelming.

Speaker 2:
[41:16] And it's all the time because the reassurance that I get, well, she just started giving it to me. So it's been easier to not have to feel insecure and like bring it up constantly. But before it was like nothing. So I'm just constantly in my head. So I want to talk to her about it. But she just makes it impossible.

Speaker 1:
[41:34] What? This seems pretty important.

Speaker 3:
[41:37] I don't know. I just agree. I feel like I try to give her reassurance. But like there are times where I'll say something and it's like not exactly what she wants to hear. And so she'll tell me what she wants to hear. And then she's like, but I don't want to feed you lines. So like-

Speaker 2:
[41:54] Because I don't. You're an adult. You should be able to-

Speaker 3:
[41:56] But what I say isn't good enough.

Speaker 1:
[41:58] There is a certain, this is difficult, because I feel like I've been there sometimes too, so I do understand it. In her brain, it's not, it's more complicated. Some people just need that extra guidance, because it's just not in their just natural sphere.

Speaker 2:
[42:14] And I've given the guidance for two and a half years. And I also lead by example. If I f*** up, I mean, it's an hour long, deep felt apology and what I'm going to do differently next time, like why it's not going to happen again. And her, wait, her, it's, I'm sorry. I love you. And like, that's it. That's it. And I'll be like, can you think of anything to say?

Speaker 3:
[42:37] I do give you reassurance. I tell you, I want to be here. I want to be with you.

Speaker 2:
[42:41] Not immediately after the fight.

Speaker 3:
[42:44] And shits and giggles.

Speaker 6:
[42:46] Pepsi prebiotic cola, an original and sherry vanilla. That Pepsi tastes you low, with just 30 calories and no artificial sweeteners. Pepsi prebiotic cola. Unbelievably Pepsi.

Speaker 2:
[43:00] After the fight.

Speaker 3:
[43:01] It is, so I have BPD, so a lot of times, like, she wants an immediate, like, emotional, like, thing out of me. But like, when my emotions are really high, like, she wants me to coddle her. But like, I'm also upset, so like, I need to cool down before I'm able to, like, have clear thoughts.

Speaker 2:
[43:23] She is, you are fully capable of asking for a minute. Does she ever say that? No. I have to be like, do you need a minute?

Speaker 3:
[43:29] Absolutely a liar. There have been times where I'm like, I'm going to go sit in the office for a minute, and she's like, oh, you're going to walk away from me.

Speaker 1:
[43:38] If we can't get to a place of any kind of communication in a healthy way, what kind of features are here? You have to meet in the middle ground in some kind of communication style.

Speaker 3:
[43:46] Calm.

Speaker 2:
[43:48] I stay calm. Calm is hard. I used to get ramped up.

Speaker 1:
[43:51] Yeah, but you bring a lot of emotions. You do emotional versus logical.

Speaker 2:
[43:54] That's fair. No, that is actually correct.

Speaker 1:
[43:56] Which isn't necessarily helpful either. It's okay to be emotional in an argument. Well, in like, having an emotional feeling and being able to communicate because of that, but it can't only be from emotions, especially when the other person's also a little more volatile, which she is.

Speaker 2:
[44:13] It's just difficult to handle when I'm so sensitive.

Speaker 1:
[44:15] So, how do these end? Do they ever end with any productive...

Speaker 2:
[44:19] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[44:20] Eventually.

Speaker 1:
[44:20] Now, why do we think it's ramping up?

Speaker 3:
[44:22] I think I get really overwhelmed really easily. Again, like, do you know what BPD is?

Speaker 1:
[44:28] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[44:29] Okay, cool. Yeah, so like, instead of getting like, crazy manic, I get like rageful, so it's just hard.

Speaker 1:
[44:36] She rages on you?

Speaker 2:
[44:38] She might throw a fan here or there, but it's never on me.

Speaker 3:
[44:40] Okay, one time. I just threw it on the ground. Not even toward her, like...

Speaker 2:
[44:48] Have you ever been to a rage room?

Speaker 1:
[44:49] If you know, yes, if you know you're getting to the point of rage, ask for five minutes. Ask for five minutes to go calm down. Why won't you give her time?

Speaker 2:
[44:59] Because my anxiety is so bad, I want to like fix it now.

Speaker 1:
[45:02] I get that. I mean, I'm closer to that as well. I, you know, I try to fix the situation, but you have to. You have to give that space for her to calm down, or else it just doesn't work. It won't work. Amen.

Speaker 3:
[45:20] I need to get my whip.

Speaker 1:
[45:22] And I assume there's a lot of pressure here too, especially with the kid being brought in. August says to Colton that she feels like she's carrying the entire, entire finances of this entire relationship. And she literally got a job to help try to pay off your debt. Well, you just want to be a princess, and she's not being spoiled at all, and she would love to get spoiled even just once. While she is in control of the relationship, she's paying for all the dates, she's paying for everything, everything. And she got the job to pay off the debt.

Speaker 3:
[45:55] I pay my car insurance, I pay his tuition, I pay for majority of our groceries. Yeah, she pays when we go out to eat, but mostly that's because she's the one that wants to go out to eat.

Speaker 1:
[46:07] And don't forget, I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit. So go to calebhammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below. You'll have a great time and I'm gonna roast the out of you. Starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite Show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10% off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb.

Speaker 3:
[46:58] I used to be a really good meal prepper. And then she'd be like, she's a person, she can't think her meals ahead of time, because if she's not craving it in that moment, she will not eat it.

Speaker 2:
[47:10] I go to Walmart that day. I go to Walmart like every f**king day.

Speaker 1:
[47:14] Is what she said true? Is what she told us in the pre-interview a lie? Are you not the one that is carrying the weight of this financial relationship?

Speaker 2:
[47:19] Absolutely am.

Speaker 3:
[47:21] Do you pay my carnet?

Speaker 2:
[47:22] I don't pay your carnet. I don't have your bills, but I do take care of us. Those are, like, you know, your bills.

Speaker 3:
[47:30] Yeah, most of our dates. It's also hard for me to...

Speaker 1:
[47:32] Just dates, that's it? Just taking care of dates isn't...

Speaker 2:
[47:35] I buy her so much shit. Not that she asks for gifts and stuff isn't...

Speaker 3:
[47:40] She hates a trinket because she's a minimalist. I'm a maximalist. It is so easy a shop for me.

Speaker 2:
[47:46] It would be nothing for her to go to the store and just pick up one pack of Pokemon.

Speaker 1:
[47:50] But buying bullshit like that is not carrying the financial weight of a relationship. That's not the... That's just buying shit. That's not taking care of bills, utilities, debts, shit like that. The tuition. That's not taking care.

Speaker 2:
[48:03] Mind you, she does put herself a bit in the hole. You want to talk about your Squishmallows or your Littlest Pets?

Speaker 3:
[48:11] I mean, not really.

Speaker 2:
[48:12] How much? Oh, she did cash flow it at least out of her savings.

Speaker 1:
[48:15] Out of her savings. I mean, when and how much?

Speaker 6:
[48:19] When and how much?

Speaker 3:
[48:21] Maybe a little over a year ago, and it was only like $10,000.

Speaker 1:
[48:26] No, it was not.

Speaker 2:
[48:28] It absolutely was.

Speaker 1:
[48:29] $10,000 from her savings?

Speaker 2:
[48:30] We have 14 bags of Squishmallows in our attic.

Speaker 1:
[48:35] Can you sell them?

Speaker 3:
[48:36] No.

Speaker 1:
[48:37] Why?

Speaker 3:
[48:39] I don't want to.

Speaker 1:
[48:40] So you can sell them. You just don't want to. Dude, 24, maybe even 23 years old at that point, with $10,000 in savings is awesome. Better than the average person. And you f***ed it all for Squishmallows? This is insane.

Speaker 3:
[48:54] Have you ever laid on a Squishmallow?

Speaker 1:
[48:56] Have you ever had a child? Wait, the answer is yes. How would you take care of them?

Speaker 3:
[48:59] He is well-fed, well-groomed. He is very spoiled. In a private school, he's in soccer.

Speaker 1:
[49:05] Yes, but you could be setting up him up for so much success, like college in the future. All these different things.

Speaker 3:
[49:12] I have a sub account for him.

Speaker 1:
[49:13] Also, the most important thing is as well, is a little bit of space, a little bit of independence. And if you guys are going to go into an apartment together, and you will just drain your savings for $10,000 of squishmells, what's going to happen? You won't do it again. You got to build up to it. And you spend more than you make, and you're dead at $72,000. Shut the f*** up. If we are in financial hardships, all of a sudden no savings means bye-bye apartment, which happens to Americans all day across this country. Every day, every second, constantly. And you're not unique. And you'll have to start doing special favors to not do that. And we don't want you to do that. I don't want you to f*** yourself if you don't want to.

Speaker 3:
[49:48] I don't.

Speaker 1:
[49:49] Yeah, well, there you go.

Speaker 3:
[49:50] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[49:50] So, well then. Guys, what do we think our household? Pretend we're combining. We kind of know that big number. Our household financial score is 0 to 10. 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best.

Speaker 3:
[50:01] I'm going 2.

Speaker 2:
[50:03] I was going to say 2 as well.

Speaker 1:
[50:04] Okay. If you want your Hammer financial score, take the assessment. It is free at calebhammer.com. Just takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money. Thousands of you do that daily. So you should too. calebhammer.com. And also, tens of thousands of you are active members of the DollarWise Budgeting app. Tens of thousands almost are 100,000, because it is incredible. People are changing their lives, and you can download it and start a free trial to see if you like it. And if you do, guess what? Most people sign up for the annual version because it saves almost 50%. And you get my personal 30-day budget meal plan signed by me, just like I did with this one, which you guys get. I will sign it, and I'll mail it directly to you. So no more meal prepping, confusions, not being able to do shit. I lay out every meal, every snack, every drink that you can do for 30 full days. And then you just repeat that ongoing, switch it up, do things around. Well, you want the cookbook, too?

Speaker 2:
[50:54] I was about to say, I was expecting a hard cover.

Speaker 1:
[50:56] Well, it's not being offered anymore, the cookbook, but you can have it.

Speaker 8:
[50:59] The limited edition.

Speaker 1:
[51:00] The meal plan is just more, this is better for what people in the financial situation, because the cookbook's good because you can cook a few individual meals, but the meal plan gives you the detail throughout a whole month.

Speaker 2:
[51:11] We do like to cook a lot.

Speaker 1:
[51:12] You're rubbing me.

Speaker 3:
[51:14] Sorry.

Speaker 1:
[51:15] I have a checking account first, which is very rare, which means something's here. Who has a checking account with $6 in it?

Speaker 2:
[51:22] That would be you.

Speaker 1:
[51:29] No, bullshit. But then when you said about it, it was just going out to eat and bullshit and buying her trinkets.

Speaker 3:
[51:36] She also buys a lot of Pokemon.

Speaker 2:
[51:38] That card is more for my funsies.

Speaker 1:
[51:42] Your funsies?

Speaker 2:
[51:42] Yeah. eBay. I do like eBay.

Speaker 1:
[51:45] Nearly $6,700 of funsies in a month.

Speaker 2:
[51:50] And food. I don't know. I don't know what I spend my money on.

Speaker 1:
[51:53] You don't know. Why haven't you plugged in it as something like DollarWise or a budgeting app of any kind? It's so easy. It's automated. Literally, you literally connect it. It takes like two seconds, and it's automated. It tells you everything.

Speaker 2:
[52:04] I'm never like dying for money. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[52:07] Okay, you have $6. What happens when that minimum repayment is owed?

Speaker 2:
[52:11] I put my cash back in the bank. It just happened to be at $6 when I sent it.

Speaker 1:
[52:16] Now you're gathering minimum repayments because you decided to open a credit card and not pay it off. What happens when that payment hits? I'll tell you. Either overdraft or return payment fee.

Speaker 2:
[52:25] I have like $400 remaining on that balance. So it's like right there. It'll be done.

Speaker 1:
[52:29] We'll see. Depends where your money is. That was $6 done by the end of the month. Who knows? Who knows if drinks slow down? Tourist season. When is tourist season in New Orleans? Because it's getting hot. Exactly.

Speaker 3:
[52:41] Yeah, no, we're dead in the summer.

Speaker 8:
[52:43] Income, dry.

Speaker 1:
[52:47] Hurricane season is coming. What happens when a big storm hits New Orleans and you're down for a few weeks? You're going to make that minimum payment anymore?

Speaker 8:
[52:55] Travel.

Speaker 2:
[52:56] She'll go travel.

Speaker 1:
[52:57] What? Is that a thing?

Speaker 3:
[52:58] Yeah.

Speaker 8:
[53:00] You know that?

Speaker 1:
[53:01] I did not know that.

Speaker 3:
[53:02] The more you know.

Speaker 1:
[53:03] Well, how do you even do it? What do you mean?

Speaker 3:
[53:06] Like, you literally just go wherever you want. You audition. You get a contract.

Speaker 1:
[53:11] Oh, you have to audition, though, and they have to accept it.

Speaker 2:
[53:14] She's hot. Up in smoke. We both like to vape.

Speaker 1:
[53:19] What is wrong with everyone your age? Everyone your age is a vaper.

Speaker 3:
[53:23] I was on pills so quick.

Speaker 1:
[53:24] I was on pills?

Speaker 3:
[53:26] Yeah, but...

Speaker 1:
[53:28] Vape, smoking, vape pills?

Speaker 3:
[53:30] Yeah, cessation. Yeah, cessation pills.

Speaker 2:
[53:33] I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[53:33] I've never heard of this.

Speaker 1:
[53:34] Okay, you were, are you?

Speaker 2:
[53:35] No.

Speaker 1:
[53:36] Why does it even matter?

Speaker 3:
[53:38] Okay, well, so my mom switched jobs. I'm still on her insurance for just a little bit longer. So when she switched jobs, I lost insurance for a brief period, so I couldn't get a refill. And then I was too embarrassed to ask my doctor for like a fourth restart.

Speaker 1:
[53:55] It's a doctor.

Speaker 3:
[53:56] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[53:57] Doesn't give a f**k.

Speaker 3:
[53:58] Yeah, well.

Speaker 1:
[53:59] Was it working?

Speaker 3:
[54:00] I have shame.

Speaker 2:
[54:01] Oh, you have no shame.

Speaker 3:
[54:03] A little bit.

Speaker 1:
[54:04] Was it working?

Speaker 3:
[54:05] It definitely helped me decrease my usage a lot.

Speaker 1:
[54:08] How much do you guys smoke?

Speaker 2:
[54:10] She would literally fight against a pill. She'd be like, oh, it's making me nauseous and then still smoke, which I mean, I'd like to base.

Speaker 3:
[54:17] I didn't throw up though, but if I did, skinny legend.

Speaker 1:
[54:20] Are you skinny?

Speaker 3:
[54:22] I mean, not really.

Speaker 1:
[54:23] You seem fit. You don't seem fat.

Speaker 2:
[54:25] She's not fat. I wouldn't even call her like...

Speaker 3:
[54:27] I have body dysmorphia, but...

Speaker 1:
[54:28] Oh, no, I wouldn't have even said you're a pudgy.

Speaker 3:
[54:32] So you think I'm skinny? Thanks.

Speaker 1:
[54:36] Well, how do you not beat her?

Speaker 2:
[54:38] I think she's so cute.

Speaker 1:
[54:40] She is?

Speaker 2:
[54:41] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:41] How do you not beat her? She's obnoxious. How much are we spending on vaping?

Speaker 2:
[54:46] A lot, probably. To a week, at $16 for one.

Speaker 1:
[54:50] Per person?

Speaker 2:
[54:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:52] So 16 times 2 times 2? 16 times 4?

Speaker 2:
[54:54] Yeah, times 4.

Speaker 1:
[54:55] Let's do that monthly.

Speaker 3:
[54:58] She also gets overdrafted, by the way.

Speaker 1:
[55:00] Well, that's exactly what I just said would happen if you have $6.

Speaker 3:
[55:04] Last night.

Speaker 1:
[55:04] For what? Here in Austin?

Speaker 2:
[55:07] Okay, so I went to buy her something.

Speaker 1:
[55:09] $3,328 a year. You lose a month's worth of income on your household's base.

Speaker 2:
[55:14] Okay, that's actually foul.

Speaker 1:
[55:16] Yes. An entire month that you work goes to the vapage of the house.

Speaker 2:
[55:20] Okay. That is an issue for sure.

Speaker 1:
[55:23] If you look, all of a sudden, you figure things out.

Speaker 2:
[55:26] But the overdraft has been fixed. I did put money back on the card.

Speaker 1:
[55:29] But you overdraft. You head to exactly where I said you're going. You're already there. That's only going to get worse.

Speaker 2:
[55:33] It was on my debit, though. It was on the credit card. It was on my debit.

Speaker 1:
[55:37] That's where overdrafting is. Dude, listen.

Speaker 2:
[55:40] What is it if I miss a payment on the card, the credit card? Late fee?

Speaker 1:
[55:43] Miss payment? Listen, the thing is, I've seen people entering your position, and I've seen how it ended a year later. You're going down a dangerous path and you have no idea. You are at that point where you might be able to stop.

Speaker 2:
[55:54] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[55:56] Just had your overdraft. You are headed into slow season and eventually storm season even worse.

Speaker 2:
[56:03] I mean, I do have backup jobs. Like, I never, like, burned a bridge. So I do have bosses that will take me back.

Speaker 1:
[56:08] I hope so, but I know you guys are in the middle of New Orleans.

Speaker 2:
[56:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[56:12] There's only so much that you can do in your type of industry, backup jobs and all these different things during slow season.

Speaker 3:
[56:18] I plan on going to Florida, like, Pensacola, to dance over the summer.

Speaker 2:
[56:24] That's just away from her? That is if she can build trust, which I doubt it.

Speaker 1:
[56:27] Trust the two of you?

Speaker 2:
[56:28] Yeah. She's not going anywhere.

Speaker 1:
[56:30] You're gonna leave your son?

Speaker 6:
[56:31] Oh, she already has.

Speaker 2:
[56:33] You went on a week, you went, you were going for like two weeks.

Speaker 3:
[56:37] I was going for a week and a half to work, and he does spend weekends with my mom, and he loves going to his, Lolly is what he calls his grandma, but he likes going to her house, so like when he's hanging out with her anyway, I'll go work.

Speaker 1:
[56:53] Yeah, you're talking three months.

Speaker 3:
[56:55] No, not the whole time. Like I wouldn't stay out there for a whole three months.

Speaker 2:
[57:00] Like a week period.

Speaker 3:
[57:01] Yeah, Pensacola is like three hours.

Speaker 2:
[57:04] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[57:05] Like I can literally go for a weekend and come right back.

Speaker 1:
[57:08] Why go there?

Speaker 3:
[57:09] Because they're busy in the summer.

Speaker 2:
[57:10] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[57:12] Who doesn't go to Florida in the summer? Well, I mean some people, but a lot of people do.

Speaker 1:
[57:16] I thought that's when you shouldn't go, because that's when it's humid and disgusting. But okay.

Speaker 2:
[57:20] Beaches.

Speaker 3:
[57:21] Yeah, everything goes out there.

Speaker 1:
[57:22] Get in the water. Cash app sending $50 out, where'd that go?

Speaker 2:
[57:25] To her? Or does it say to her?

Speaker 3:
[57:27] No, it's you.

Speaker 1:
[57:28] No, it's blacked out. This is your account, but you sent out $50.

Speaker 2:
[57:31] That was going out?

Speaker 1:
[57:32] Yes, out.

Speaker 2:
[57:33] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[57:34] I would never tell you in.

Speaker 2:
[57:35] I don't know. I make a lot of cash app payments.

Speaker 1:
[57:37] Two for what?

Speaker 2:
[57:39] Sometimes to her. Sometimes she'll get her nails done and be like, yo, can you send my nail person? Bro, look at those.

Speaker 1:
[57:45] What the fuck did that cost? Those are shit. Good back scratches, but shit.

Speaker 3:
[57:50] They're cunty.

Speaker 1:
[57:52] No.

Speaker 3:
[57:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[57:53] No.

Speaker 2:
[57:54] They're not her best ones.

Speaker 1:
[57:55] They're ghetto.

Speaker 2:
[57:55] They're not my fave.

Speaker 1:
[57:58] Those nails pick up EBT.

Speaker 3:
[58:00] I'm freaking weak. Anyway.

Speaker 1:
[58:02] I'm five foot nine. The American average. How tall are you?

Speaker 3:
[58:05] I'm a short king.

Speaker 1:
[58:05] Is that a short king?

Speaker 3:
[58:07] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[58:08] So why would that even matter? It's the American average.

Speaker 3:
[58:12] I'm so proud of being average.

Speaker 1:
[58:14] I am proud of being average. Also proud of not having a kid at 18.

Speaker 3:
[58:16] Good for you. Anyway, these were like $115.

Speaker 1:
[58:21] No, they were not.

Speaker 3:
[58:23] What's up?

Speaker 2:
[58:25] I'm not paying for them.

Speaker 1:
[58:28] Jimmy John's.

Speaker 2:
[58:29] Yeah. Good shit.

Speaker 1:
[58:31] I do like Jimmy John's, but you probably can't afford it.

Speaker 2:
[58:34] I mean, the money was in the account.

Speaker 1:
[58:36] You just overdrafted the other day, the day before coming on Financial Audit. You overdrafted. Shut the up. Cash out about $40 Walmart. That tracks with you guys. I don't even know if that was groceries, though. It's not really expensive. You win as I got some bullshit. What are you getting at the gas station?

Speaker 2:
[58:53] Probably pizza and a drink.

Speaker 1:
[58:55] Gas station? You're getting empanadas.

Speaker 2:
[58:57] Yeah, racetrack has great pizza.

Speaker 3:
[58:59] They have good empanadas.

Speaker 1:
[59:02] Am I getting too privileged? Am I getting too privileged for this to like gross me out and make it about?

Speaker 2:
[59:09] You, it's good.

Speaker 1:
[59:12] Mark, you're poor. Am I getting too privileged?

Speaker 3:
[59:16] Why don't you pay him enough? I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[59:21] Okay, a solid I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[59:23] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[59:25] No, he'll get there someday, Mark. He'll get there someday.

Speaker 3:
[59:28] Give that boy a raise.

Speaker 1:
[59:30] When he meets his annual review performance. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3:
[59:34] You got this, Mark.

Speaker 1:
[59:36] That's what everyone does now. That boy's pizza, I bet that's actually good pizza.

Speaker 2:
[59:42] I would actually say race track is better.

Speaker 1:
[59:44] What the is wrong with you?

Speaker 2:
[59:46] And that was for our son. Like he likes pizza from there. So it's like this big.

Speaker 1:
[59:51] Do we have race track near here?

Speaker 3:
[59:53] Y'all like 7-Eleven.

Speaker 1:
[59:55] Well, that's everywhere.

Speaker 2:
[59:57] It's not. We don't have it.

Speaker 3:
[59:58] Yeah, we don't have that.

Speaker 1:
[59:59] I guarantee you have 7-Eleven in the city.

Speaker 3:
[60:02] No, not in the city.

Speaker 1:
[60:04] Because I know race track. I think we have it in Michigan.

Speaker 2:
[60:08] To be fair, y'all's canes out here suck, so it could be different pizza out here.

Speaker 1:
[60:12] So you guys came to a city with lots of good food and got canes.

Speaker 3:
[60:16] It was 3 a.m. What did you want us to do? Break in? Yeah. Okay. I might.

Speaker 1:
[60:23] Shit, no, we don't have race tracks. They're up in Dallas.

Speaker 3:
[60:25] I like Dallas.

Speaker 1:
[60:27] Why?

Speaker 3:
[60:27] They have a Meow Wolf. Huh? They have like cool art stuff. They have a Meow Wolf. There's this place called Rainbow Vomit. That was cool.

Speaker 1:
[60:35] I'm just plugging everybody. You guys, surprisingly, do not have a 7-Eleven. Okay. Well, never mind. I was going to get some racetrack pizza from the show, but we can't even get that. Cash app, about 50 bucks. Again, Walmart, I doubt this grocery. This is probably bullshit. eBay for $72. eBay for $11.66. What?

Speaker 2:
[60:51] A key chain. It's a Tyranitar key chain. What?

Speaker 1:
[60:55] I don't know what that is. Did you just call me a slur?

Speaker 2:
[60:58] Oh, yeah. She's got it.

Speaker 3:
[61:00] That's him.

Speaker 1:
[61:00] It looks like a member of the KKK.

Speaker 3:
[61:04] That's crazy.

Speaker 1:
[61:05] It doesn't not? No. As someone that does not look like Pokemon.

Speaker 3:
[61:10] He kind of looks like Tommy's little dinosaur guy.

Speaker 2:
[61:15] Reptar?

Speaker 3:
[61:16] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:17] Something like that. Whatever.

Speaker 1:
[61:18] You have a young gravy tattoo, too?

Speaker 2:
[61:20] Yeah. We're not showing that one.

Speaker 1:
[61:22] Why?

Speaker 3:
[61:22] It's on my ass.

Speaker 2:
[61:23] Right under the cheeks.

Speaker 1:
[61:24] Right under the cheeks.

Speaker 2:
[61:25] Under the cheeks, but cheeks is fat.

Speaker 3:
[61:27] It's on autograph, too.

Speaker 1:
[61:29] By him?

Speaker 2:
[61:30] On a piece of paper.

Speaker 1:
[61:31] He did it personally?

Speaker 3:
[61:32] He did.

Speaker 1:
[61:33] He is a fan of the show, right?

Speaker 3:
[61:35] Is he? Hey, baby.

Speaker 2:
[61:37] Hey, Ari.

Speaker 1:
[61:38] What? What's your alarm for?

Speaker 3:
[61:39] Hey, Matt.

Speaker 1:
[61:40] Well, look at it in the post-show. Behind the paywall.

Speaker 2:
[61:43] Okay, period. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[61:44] Yeah, period. I was at Baby No Money's name tattooed, but I'm waiting to get his.

Speaker 1:
[61:50] Why are you?

Speaker 3:
[61:51] Why?

Speaker 1:
[61:53] Just why those two?

Speaker 3:
[61:53] Those are my boys. I love them.

Speaker 1:
[61:55] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[61:56] Baby No Money is a really great person, and I love how un-serious they are.

Speaker 1:
[62:00] She fully fell for it. I'm sure he's not a bad person.

Speaker 3:
[62:03] Alex is awesome. He's vocal about issues.

Speaker 1:
[62:08] That's what you felt for it, because he just goes on to whatever the next thing is. He just posts about it. I don't hate him at all. Again, he wanted to come on the show. We've texted. He's probably a good dude, but he's literally the classic online whatever the next thing is. Whatever the next thing is, he's an advocate for. So it's like you just kind of fell for it. You played right into this thing.

Speaker 3:
[62:29] And I will every time.

Speaker 1:
[62:30] It's good, so keep doing your thing, buddy. You're making money. I appreciate it.

Speaker 3:
[62:33] Love you, Alex.

Speaker 1:
[62:35] Alta. Okay, you don't...

Speaker 2:
[62:36] I self tan. It's a little light right now, but...

Speaker 1:
[62:41] In the sun?

Speaker 2:
[62:42] No, I can't tan. I just get sunburned.

Speaker 1:
[62:46] Marshalls. Got some bullshit from Racetrack again.

Speaker 2:
[62:50] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:50] You get energy drinks there too?

Speaker 2:
[62:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:52] Okay, no longer. You are now using Gamer Sups. It is 40 cents a serving. It tastes better. It's really good. It's so good. 40 cents a serving using my discount code. Link in the description below. Get your free samples to figure out which flavor you like, and then either get the energy drink version or the electrolytes non-energy drink version. It's up to you. There's even melatonin versions as well. Check that out. 40 cents a serving. Make your energy drinks at home, it's like your coffee now, that's how many times you go to a racetrack. Five below. PetSmart. Great, we have pets to take care of.

Speaker 3:
[63:28] Fantastic.

Speaker 1:
[63:28] Amazon, Walmart.

Speaker 3:
[63:31] The rabbits are in my life too.

Speaker 1:
[63:33] Avian and exotic animal.

Speaker 2:
[63:35] They had to get fixed.

Speaker 3:
[63:37] Yeah, we had to snip them.

Speaker 1:
[63:38] Snip what? The rabbits?

Speaker 3:
[63:39] Yeah, they had two litters.

Speaker 2:
[63:41] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[63:42] Dick's Sporting Goods, Amazon. Bullshit. Up and Smoke again. McDonald's, Raising Canes. You can't say the financial weight of the household is on you and you're just spending it all on literally just pleasuring yourself.

Speaker 2:
[63:53] I mean, I buy it for her too.

Speaker 1:
[63:54] Raising Canes, which I do not know how a corporate chain like that, even one state away, has such a disparagement. Like, I don't really get that.

Speaker 2:
[64:01] The seasoning.

Speaker 1:
[64:02] That doesn't make sense. You know that ship from a factory somewhere, right?

Speaker 3:
[64:06] No, I'm telling you.

Speaker 10:
[64:07] It may have been some shitty workers at 3 a.m. It may have been some shitty workers at 3 a.m. Like, even, like, you could look at the ticket.

Speaker 1:
[64:13] eBay again, $18.

Speaker 3:
[64:14] It was different.

Speaker 1:
[64:15] That doesn't make sense. eBay, eBay, $18 again. Discount zone, bullshit. eBay, $40. Wingstop. Ooh, we love Wingstop. Spotify. Going in and getting some bullshit. Apple Cash, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App. Hundreds of dollars up in smoke.

Speaker 2:
[64:40] Drinks.

Speaker 1:
[64:42] So get off the strip, go to another strip.

Speaker 2:
[64:44] Maybe, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[64:46] Why? It's a strip club, right?

Speaker 3:
[64:48] That's where I work.

Speaker 1:
[64:49] And then you spent money there where you work again, which how do you not just get a drink?

Speaker 3:
[64:53] Why are you looking at me?

Speaker 1:
[64:55] No, why aren't you allowed to just get a drink?

Speaker 2:
[64:56] I just want to go hang out with her.

Speaker 1:
[64:58] You go to, you're such a fucking, no, you're just afraid she was getting inserted.

Speaker 2:
[65:04] I have friends there too. Like I said, she does double layer.

Speaker 3:
[65:08] What?

Speaker 1:
[65:09] You don't go naked on the strip?

Speaker 3:
[65:10] Oh no. First of all, it's illegal where we are.

Speaker 1:
[65:13] You can't titty out.

Speaker 3:
[65:15] I mean, I show nip. Nips for tits.

Speaker 1:
[65:18] There you go. That's nudity.

Speaker 2:
[65:19] But yeah, she definitely can't do anything at the club.

Speaker 1:
[65:21] The one we went to as a hammer squad once was full of...

Speaker 3:
[65:27] Not this poochwaffer for free.

Speaker 1:
[65:29] It was nice. I like it. But in the lap dances.

Speaker 3:
[65:31] No, still no.

Speaker 1:
[65:32] Really?

Speaker 3:
[65:33] It's doubled up.

Speaker 1:
[65:34] It's kind of crazy. Also, thank you, Chat. At the moment of filming this episode, we just hit 3 million subscribers, CP. Thank you, Chat. Thank you. Your hand is cold, your hand is hot. That's weird. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[65:47] I have to use dry hands at work.

Speaker 2:
[65:49] She's got sweaty ass hands.

Speaker 3:
[65:50] Like liquid chalk.

Speaker 1:
[65:51] McDonald's, crawling seafood, getting some bullshit, raising canes. Appleville, McDonald's. You can't complain about her. When you're spending all this money, dumbass, Amazon Prime, Discount Zone, the where you work again, Amazon, crawling seafood. I also missed a shit ton up here.

Speaker 2:
[66:11] I like seafood.

Speaker 1:
[66:11] Kwi-kwi-tip?

Speaker 2:
[66:15] Cutie pie. You okay?

Speaker 1:
[66:16] Cutie pie, kwi-tip, and Klarna TikTok shop.

Speaker 10:
[66:21] Unlike other AI, Slackbot lives in Slack. It understands you, your team, and your work, so you can ask it for help with anything.

Speaker 1:
[66:29] Can I ask it to summarize client feedback?

Speaker 10:
[66:31] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[66:32] Can I ask it to find time for a meeting?

Speaker 10:
[66:34] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[66:34] Can I ask it to turn our meeting notes into a launch plan?

Speaker 10:
[66:38] Sure.

Speaker 5:
[66:38] Can I ask it to call me The Boss?

Speaker 10:
[66:41] Actually, you can. The Boss. See how Slackbot can turn you into The Boss at slack.com/meetsslackbot.

Speaker 1:
[66:51] Far in a TikTok shop. Exotic animal thing again. For one, going in and getting some bullshit. This is insane. It still goes on. You're a problem. You're going to hold back the entire relationship because your parents have spoiled you your entire life. I don't think you're being slaved. I think you know what you're talking about. Okay. At that point, you just demand a lot. You just demand a lot and you can't accept any progress that's been done. It doesn't make any sense. And you're not doing enough, most likely, but even still, continue making that progress. But this bullshit at the beginning like I wanted to come on because my girlfriend treats me like a slave. No.

Speaker 2:
[67:26] I agreed to be here. I didn't sign us up.

Speaker 1:
[67:28] Uh-huh. That's the note I had. Yeah. Exactly. Cheesecake Factory, 100 bucks, Walk-ons, Hulu Plus, Jimmy John's, Cash App 27, Cash App 50, Cash App 50, Domino's, Chegg Study, going to eat some bullshit, getting some bullshit.

Speaker 3:
[67:49] She didn't even know about Chegg.

Speaker 2:
[67:50] Yeah, I got a cancer.

Speaker 1:
[67:51] What is it?

Speaker 2:
[67:51] Chegg, it's like, it basically helps you like do your homework and stuff.

Speaker 1:
[67:57] Cheating. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[67:58] We're not going to call it that.

Speaker 3:
[68:00] I will.

Speaker 2:
[68:00] I don't cheat.

Speaker 1:
[68:01] Of course not.

Speaker 2:
[68:02] It just helps me do my homework. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3:
[68:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:05] The break room, DoorDash, DashPass, Taco Bell, Klarna, Tik Tok Shop, Get In Some Bullshit, Alphabill, Bullshit, Go City Tours, Uber, Discount Zone, Bullshit, Bullshit, Henry's Esquera. Oh, this keeps going. Dead on Decor.

Speaker 3:
[68:27] Dead on Decatur.

Speaker 1:
[68:28] Decatur?

Speaker 3:
[68:29] Yeah. That was like our little wee-wee-wee shit.

Speaker 2:
[68:32] Oh, yeah. We did go out.

Speaker 3:
[68:34] We had a little bow shit.

Speaker 2:
[68:35] A cute date.

Speaker 1:
[68:36] So as many of you know, I've been a big supporter of course careers for a long time. I'm not just a partner. I actually own stock and I'm an investor. So why did I partner with course careers? Because I truly believe in what they're doing. A lot of people have questions about online certifications versus traditional college degrees. Let me be clear. I wouldn't put my name behind something unless I knew it worked. The thing is, not everyone has the time or resources to spend four years in college or take on massive student loan debt. Course careers offers a practical, affordable way to launch a career in a high-demand field like tech sales, IT, and accounting, where companies are hiring based on the skills needed, not broad college degrees. In fact, right now, one in three companies are dropping degree requirements, and that number is only going to continue to grow. I know some people think online programs are a quick fix, but that's not the case here. Course careers takes effort and commitment, but they provide you with a streamlined, proven path. They offer up-to-date, self-paced courses, one-on-one or group coaching from people that work in the industry, and most importantly, they help you actually get hired. Just look at graduates like Nemeso, who went from driving FedEx trucks to a cybersecurity job at Disney. That didn't happen by chance. He put in the work and course careers guided him every step of the way. And what truly sets course careers apart is that it's not just about learning skills, it's about landing a job. Their curriculum is designed based on what employers actually need, and their network of industry coaches will guide you through the entire process, from learning the skills to interviewing, resume help, and beyond. So if you're serious about starting a new career without wasting years or piling up debt, give course careers a try. Start with their free intro course linked in the description to explore your options. And when you're ready, use the link in the description for $50 off the full course. Your future starts right now, and Course Careers is here to help you shape it. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Do you text her this shit too? I know I need more and all this stuff.

Speaker 2:
[70:47] Oh, no.

Speaker 1:
[70:47] Your little fights?

Speaker 3:
[70:48] We're always together.

Speaker 2:
[70:49] Yeah, we're always together.

Speaker 1:
[70:50] I'm going to review that in the post show. We'll see. Reverend Zombie House. Guys, you spent so much money. RA. Shop, Going Into Bullshit, Raising Canes, Bullshit, Bullshit, Vet, PetSmart, Walmart, I think Bullshit, Crawling Seafood, Poke...

Speaker 3:
[71:09] Poke-nola? That's a Pokemon shop.

Speaker 1:
[71:12] $48? You don't have money. You just overdressed for the first time yesterday. you. The Theater, Bullshit, Theater, Bullshit, Bullshit, Up and Smoke, Bullshit, J&J Seafood, Sallie Beauty, Tooty Tooty, Frozen, Raising Canes, Klarna, ATM Atroff, 40 bucks, who knows where that went? Think it's done. That's insane. Klarna's paid off. I am surprised. Congratulations, it took four payments. Glad that happened automatically without any self-restraint. And then you just overdrafted yesterday. So shut the up. I'm surprised that it's your first time. Okay, now all the debts are yours, which means you have an alticard.

Speaker 3:
[71:49] I do.

Speaker 1:
[71:50] What's going on with this?

Speaker 3:
[71:52] I opened it in 2022-ish, something like that. It was the first card that gave me a big credit limit, which they never should have.

Speaker 1:
[72:07] You never should have signed up for. Of course they want to. They're making money. What are you talking about?

Speaker 3:
[72:12] It was like a $5,000 limit when I opened it.

Speaker 1:
[72:15] They dropped that.

Speaker 3:
[72:15] What is this? What? What is what?

Speaker 1:
[72:18] What's in your purse right now?

Speaker 3:
[72:21] Do you want some?

Speaker 1:
[72:25] What is that?

Speaker 2:
[72:27] What do you think it is?

Speaker 1:
[72:29] I'm actually thinking sugar from the look at it from here.

Speaker 3:
[72:30] It's salt. To clean my tongue.

Speaker 2:
[72:34] She just likes to pull it out as a joke.

Speaker 1:
[72:37] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[72:39] Speaking of, I know you hate this, but can I go to the bathroom?

Speaker 1:
[72:42] No. $1,873.69. So $65 minimum to pay.

Speaker 3:
[72:47] You got a bedpan?

Speaker 1:
[72:50] This takes eight years to pay off.

Speaker 3:
[72:52] Oh. I pay more than the minimum.

Speaker 1:
[72:54] A little bit, but we'll see how long you can. While debt is going up other places. Like, yes, you can in a month. It's like, we'll see. No, no, no, most of the interest is, okay, 26 and then some is at 30. It's insane.

Speaker 3:
[73:10] Dollars? Percent.

Speaker 1:
[73:13] Okay, you have a freedom card. What's going on with this? You're spending money on this. Spending money on an interest-accruing card that you do not fully pay off and takes two years if you don't spend.

Speaker 3:
[73:22] Yeah. That has my Amazon Prime subscription, and so every time we rent or buy a movie, it goes on there.

Speaker 1:
[73:33] How about you pay off the cards and use the checking account? Listen, I'll let you use the mine card, debit card, that builds credit, I'll allow that. I'll get you both this course career certification when you make no money with your bachelor degrees. Okay. Because people in the audience have used WS6 figure jobs. Civil engineering is crazy. Yeah. Are you in that now? No. I mean, yeah, right there. Exactly.

Speaker 7:
[73:49] I'll get you.

Speaker 1:
[73:52] I'll hear it when I hear it. Amazon, Amazon Prime, Prime, Prime, Prime. Yeah. Someone, do you have a shared Amazon account?

Speaker 3:
[73:58] No.

Speaker 1:
[73:59] Pull up your Amazons.

Speaker 3:
[74:00] Fine.

Speaker 1:
[74:01] $80 in fees.

Speaker 3:
[74:03] Wait, do you want like?

Speaker 1:
[74:04] Fees.

Speaker 3:
[74:04] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[74:05] You've had late fees this year.

Speaker 3:
[74:08] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[74:08] Yeah. Yeah, I pay more. Then next account, too late fees this year so far, three months in. You, you've missed two out of three.

Speaker 3:
[74:17] I'm screaming my bad.

Speaker 1:
[74:18] Do you not care about that?

Speaker 3:
[74:20] I care.

Speaker 1:
[74:22] She said two of the three months late this year.

Speaker 2:
[74:25] Are you?

Speaker 3:
[74:25] That purse is cute.

Speaker 1:
[74:26] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[74:28] Talk about the damn purse.

Speaker 1:
[74:30] Yes. Do we not give a shit?

Speaker 2:
[74:31] I mean, obviously, but that's what are you going to do?

Speaker 1:
[74:34] What are you going to do? That's your wife. That's your almost wife. You were about to be a wife. You don't give a shit. Are you guys going to combine accounts? Were you going to combine accounts?

Speaker 2:
[74:44] I don't know. She wants to combine accounts. I've kind of been against it. What?

Speaker 1:
[74:49] $429 couch?

Speaker 2:
[74:51] We're moving out.

Speaker 1:
[74:53] Dude, you can't afford that. Go to Facebook Marketplace.

Speaker 2:
[74:56] We don't have money.

Speaker 3:
[74:57] We actually have a couch.

Speaker 1:
[74:58] Well, there you go.

Speaker 2:
[74:58] It smells like dog.

Speaker 1:
[74:59] I don't give a shit. You have dogs.

Speaker 2:
[75:01] I don't.

Speaker 1:
[75:01] Don't you? OK, off. You don't have money.

Speaker 3:
[75:04] It was a free couch.

Speaker 1:
[75:05] Exercise mat. Don't have money. Oh, bed frame. You don't have money. Sleep on a mattress, you poor. Become not poor by not being dumbasses. You guys actually make six figures a year combined.

Speaker 2:
[75:18] Yeah, like we're not poor.

Speaker 1:
[75:20] Yes, you are. That's what I'm trying to say. You don't need to be. You shouldn't be.

Speaker 2:
[75:24] I'm not asking people for money. I have the money. No, you don't.

Speaker 1:
[75:28] You overdrafted yesterday.

Speaker 2:
[75:30] What am I dealing with? Money went back onto the card, though.

Speaker 1:
[75:32] Yes, no shit. After you overdrafted, you don't have money. I just saw you checking the account. Shut up. Endless charging cables, a dumbass purse, clothes for days, carpet cleaner. That one's actually fine. Metal tough feeder for rabbits. Okay, I'll accept. Lego floating shelves for your Lego bullshit. you, it's stupid. Blankets, you don't need it. Dog pee pads. Why do we have that? Is that for the rabbits?

Speaker 2:
[75:55] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[75:57] You need a clipboard folder. You need multiple clipboard folders. You need a thousand clipboard folders and notebooks. You need that Pokemon backpack?

Speaker 2:
[76:05] No. I got a different one.

Speaker 1:
[76:06] Shut the up. Spray things, flexible tripod. What are you doing?

Speaker 2:
[76:11] When you like to know.

Speaker 1:
[76:12] Yes. What are you doing?

Speaker 2:
[76:14] I actually don't know why that's in there.

Speaker 1:
[76:16] You purchased it for $20.

Speaker 2:
[76:17] I didn't buy it. No, it's in the cart. It's in the cart.

Speaker 1:
[76:21] Oh, I'm looking at the cart.

Speaker 2:
[76:22] Why is it there?

Speaker 1:
[76:23] Is this for the OF?

Speaker 2:
[76:24] Maybe.

Speaker 1:
[76:25] Are you guys, so you're actively doing this?

Speaker 2:
[76:26] No, we're not actively doing it.

Speaker 1:
[76:28] But you're buying it for it? So you guys are doing it. You guys are going to do it.

Speaker 3:
[76:31] We're talking about doing it.

Speaker 1:
[76:33] And where do you stand on this?

Speaker 2:
[76:34] We've been talking about it for like a year.

Speaker 1:
[76:37] Where's our opinions?

Speaker 2:
[76:39] I need more trust in the relationship. I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[76:42] For what?

Speaker 3:
[76:42] Do you want me to get out of my car?

Speaker 1:
[76:43] I don't think you'll ever get trust, though. From both ends. I don't think she's ever going to do what's required. And I also don't think, I think your goalpost will always move. So I don't think you're ever going to have it.

Speaker 2:
[76:54] I mean, we did have it until like, the lying has been more recent.

Speaker 1:
[76:59] Yeah, lying. I mean, you were cheating, essentially. You were doing something behind the back that the Boundary Goal said no.

Speaker 2:
[77:08] Yes. And you ask her why, and like, you can't even get an answer for it.

Speaker 3:
[77:13] I don't like hard comments.

Speaker 1:
[77:14] You're getting Funko Pops and all this bullshit in your purchases. It's so stupid. You have 33 things in your cart.

Speaker 3:
[77:20] I'm going to go to my... I'm being abused.

Speaker 1:
[77:24] Legos in your cart? Okay, you have about a trillion legos in your cart, some stupid shit. Let me see your purchases. Let me see your purchases. Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3:
[77:31] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[77:32] This is bullshit.

Speaker 3:
[77:34] Okay, the t-shirt was for our son's school fair thing.

Speaker 1:
[77:39] Beats and bullshit. It just endlessly gets you shit.

Speaker 3:
[77:42] I need to have this.

Speaker 1:
[77:43] It's just stacked with bullshit. This is so stupid. What a waste of money. Your entire life is a joke. Okay, what is this? True Accord. I was standing at an amount of $277. I don't know what this is for.

Speaker 3:
[77:56] That's my Klarna. It's in collection.

Speaker 1:
[77:58] Oh!

Speaker 3:
[78:00] Yeah. It was so long ago, though, I forgot what it was for.

Speaker 1:
[78:07] It couldn't have been that long ago.

Speaker 3:
[78:08] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[78:10] $277.07. How did you even get approved for this apartment?

Speaker 3:
[78:13] My credit score isn't that bad.

Speaker 1:
[78:15] What's your credit score?

Speaker 3:
[78:15] It's like $670 something. I have credit card money. You want to look at it? I actually got an email yesterday that my score went up.

Speaker 1:
[78:24] What's your score?

Speaker 2:
[78:25] I don't have a credit score.

Speaker 1:
[78:26] You just opened a credit card.

Speaker 2:
[78:27] I just opened it, but I don't have...

Speaker 1:
[78:29] You put that much on a credit card, you just opened?

Speaker 2:
[78:31] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[78:32] That's so stupid. Okay, what's this? A firm, right?

Speaker 3:
[78:36] Is that me?

Speaker 2:
[78:37] Yeah, I don't have a firm.

Speaker 1:
[78:39] Klarna. You're Klarna.

Speaker 2:
[78:40] My Klarna.

Speaker 1:
[78:41] Because eBay is over and over again now. You paid it off, but this is still, it's money you are spending. Instead of your future, eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay, and then your new credit card was to $2,000, brought it down to $400, but even still, that's aggressive, it is interest accruing, it is bad.

Speaker 2:
[78:59] Not for 15 months.

Speaker 1:
[79:00] Oh my f***. What's your minimum? Probably like $25.

Speaker 2:
[79:04] I don't know. It's set up on auto. You have a full balance? No, obviously not.

Speaker 1:
[79:10] No, it's not. She makes minimums, and she's going to get so f***ed. Just head it down that path.

Speaker 2:
[79:14] I don't make minimums. I've been paying it off.

Speaker 1:
[79:15] A little more, but even still, you're not paying off the balance, which is the only excuse. The only way you are allowed to take out a balance is if you pay it off.

Speaker 2:
[79:24] What? What do you want? I just opened that card, I put it on there, and now it's already down to 400. I feel like that's pretty good.

Speaker 1:
[79:30] But it's not down to zero. You cannot purchase things on a credit card. It just shows how the behavior is going to go into the interest accruing period. You cannot open a credit card if you cannot fully pay it off.

Speaker 2:
[79:40] Can I just close it when the interest sets in?

Speaker 1:
[79:43] No, I would just put like gas on it once a month and pay it off immediately. That's what I would do.

Speaker 3:
[79:48] 30%?

Speaker 2:
[79:50] It will be.

Speaker 3:
[79:50] Isn't that the goal?

Speaker 1:
[79:52] What?

Speaker 3:
[79:52] No.

Speaker 1:
[79:53] Because this is going to be accruing interest. You want to be under that.

Speaker 3:
[79:57] No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1:
[79:58] Shut the f*** up. You want to be under that or else it's a f***ing credit.

Speaker 3:
[80:00] Okay, fine.

Speaker 1:
[80:01] But you can still keep it at $0. You'll be fine. Just spend gas once a month on there.

Speaker 3:
[80:06] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[80:07] What? What is your issue?

Speaker 3:
[80:09] Embow itself control.

Speaker 1:
[80:11] Then you shouldn't have access to the abilities to spend money you don't have. There you go. Take away the tools. Discover it. Almost paid off.

Speaker 3:
[80:25] Yeah. That one don't auto pay for the full balance.

Speaker 1:
[80:30] I'm going to cross it off. Yeah, I see. But it's still money you do not have that you're just purchasing. And it's on the bullshit that I just saw. Prime Video, Etsy, Prime Video, Prime, Prime, Prime, Prime, Amazon Prime.

Speaker 3:
[80:42] This is stupid. That's on the Discover?

Speaker 1:
[80:44] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[80:44] Is that not the one that our kid was spending?

Speaker 3:
[80:47] I thought those were on the Chase.

Speaker 1:
[80:49] No, you have no idea what's going on. Ever. About anything.

Speaker 3:
[80:54] That's crazy. Do I pay for two?

Speaker 2:
[81:01] Two what? Amazon accounts?

Speaker 3:
[81:03] Yeah, because are there ones on there?

Speaker 1:
[81:08] Chase Auto, what is this? At a 12.74% interest rate, what's your car?

Speaker 3:
[81:13] That's my new car.

Speaker 1:
[81:14] New car? What did you get?

Speaker 3:
[81:15] I have two cars.

Speaker 1:
[81:16] What did you get?

Speaker 3:
[81:17] I got a 2025 Chevy Trax.

Speaker 10:
[81:19] Oh, why?

Speaker 1:
[81:20] $33,129.97. Always the strippers that get a car they can't afford. $679. Going into the slow season, your income fluctuates way too much. It's already worth only $21,000. You're underwater by $12,000. $12,000 that you just got on a car. You're underwater by $12,000.

Speaker 3:
[81:37] Well, my other car had like some...

Speaker 1:
[81:40] Doesn't matter. Give me a 10,000-hour car. Something. You don't even know what it was or what the cost would have been.

Speaker 3:
[81:44] A girl. No, I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[81:45] Take it to someone that does.

Speaker 2:
[81:49] Bring the Butch one with you. Goddamn. Masks. Mask lesbian. I'm not Butch or Dyke or any of those other things.

Speaker 1:
[81:59] I wouldn't call you that.

Speaker 2:
[82:00] It's just a little offensive. I'm not Butch.

Speaker 1:
[82:06] You can cry to her about it later.

Speaker 2:
[82:08] Like, if I looked like you, it'd be Butch.

Speaker 1:
[82:10] Yeah, yeah. No, Bear.

Speaker 2:
[82:12] No, that's a gay man.

Speaker 1:
[82:13] Exactly. I'm a man. If you looked like me, you'd be a bear. No, you don't know what twink means. Twink is skinny.

Speaker 2:
[82:19] A little sassy.

Speaker 3:
[82:21] You don't have to be skinny to be a twink.

Speaker 1:
[82:23] Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

Speaker 2:
[82:25] Oh, he's saying yeah.

Speaker 1:
[82:27] Yeah, trust the gay.

Speaker 2:
[82:28] Fine.

Speaker 1:
[82:29] You don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2:
[82:30] You're lucky you have one of those.

Speaker 3:
[82:31] Whatever.

Speaker 1:
[82:32] Yeah. No, bear. Chunkers. Yes, bear.

Speaker 6:
[82:35] I always thought of it like a bear.

Speaker 1:
[82:37] What am I?

Speaker 3:
[82:38] He's not a bear.

Speaker 1:
[82:39] Put me into something. Put me into a category.

Speaker 6:
[82:41] A tubby custard.

Speaker 1:
[82:42] If I had to, it would be like-

Speaker 3:
[82:45] A chubby twink.

Speaker 1:
[82:46] Cub bear. Cub bear.

Speaker 6:
[82:47] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[82:48] A little cub.

Speaker 1:
[82:49] Little transition. Cub. Cub. Whatever. I'm a cub.

Speaker 3:
[82:53] Put those away.

Speaker 2:
[82:54] You know, right?

Speaker 1:
[82:55] What?

Speaker 2:
[82:55] Your whiskers.

Speaker 1:
[82:57] You don't like them?

Speaker 2:
[82:58] No, I'm a lesbian.

Speaker 1:
[83:00] You don't like them?

Speaker 3:
[83:01] Uh, no.

Speaker 1:
[83:02] You're a bitch.

Speaker 2:
[83:02] She likes them to look like babies.

Speaker 1:
[83:04] Like what?

Speaker 3:
[83:04] Huh? I don't, I don't. It like gives like brush bur.

Speaker 2:
[83:07] It's like a trim or something.

Speaker 3:
[83:09] I don't like her lips hair either.

Speaker 2:
[83:11] I do shave.

Speaker 3:
[83:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[83:14] Okay, dude, this is a minimum payment that in the slow season terrifies me of $679.61.

Speaker 3:
[83:21] And I do still pay my other car too. So I'm paying like almost $1000 a month. What? For cars. Okay, I was f***ed by my, um, like salesperson.

Speaker 1:
[83:35] Oh, shut the f*** up. You don't get f***ed by a salesperson. You fell into getting sold.

Speaker 3:
[83:41] But he convinced me, for whatever reason.

Speaker 1:
[83:43] What do you think a salesperson is?

Speaker 3:
[83:45] Not trade in my other car.

Speaker 1:
[83:48] He convinced me to sell it myself. Why are you listening to a salesperson?

Speaker 3:
[83:51] Because what do I know? I'm a girl, Caleb.

Speaker 1:
[83:53] I'm just a girl. Congratulations on the day we hit. Today, because of your logic, on May, no, no, no. March 26th is National, something, I don't know, Pay Day. You know what that means?

Speaker 2:
[84:08] No.

Speaker 1:
[84:09] This is for the last calendar year, apparently, for the math that what men made from January 1st to January 1st, you guys now finally made from January 1st of last year to now. It took you an extra three months to catch up. And you're advocating for that because you're saying women don't deserve money.

Speaker 3:
[84:25] I don't think women are...

Speaker 1:
[84:27] Well, you owe 70 cents on the dollar because of you. You're bringing down your entire marketplace.

Speaker 3:
[84:33] I'm sorry, girls.

Speaker 1:
[84:34] I'm just a girl's an excuse for everything. F*** you. Your fault.

Speaker 3:
[84:39] Not on your birthday.

Speaker 1:
[84:40] And I'm happy you cost less. Unfortunately, it requires your family keeping you at a job, even though you're not qualified for it, and you'd be fired if your family wasn't there. So what do you owe on this old car?

Speaker 3:
[84:50] I think it's like 7,000.

Speaker 1:
[84:54] Oh, next page. Oh, it's this. It's the one on...

Speaker 3:
[84:56] Oh, it's under 7.

Speaker 1:
[85:00] Oh, you guys deserve to get it. $6,707 at a 10.46% interest rate.

Speaker 2:
[85:06] Are you not Jewish? Are you Jewish?

Speaker 1:
[85:09] No.

Speaker 2:
[85:09] So you can make that joke?

Speaker 1:
[85:11] I can make jokes about anything I want. Whether or not someone chooses to be a friend.

Speaker 2:
[85:15] Period.

Speaker 3:
[85:16] You look like a small and wide little dickie.

Speaker 1:
[85:19] What's a little dickie?

Speaker 3:
[85:20] Y'all know a little dickie? Hi, I'm Dave.

Speaker 1:
[85:23] Huh?

Speaker 3:
[85:24] You know, white crime, shit like that.

Speaker 1:
[85:26] Is it L-I-L, dickie?

Speaker 3:
[85:27] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[85:29] How do you spell dickie?

Speaker 3:
[85:30] With a Y. Dick-Y.

Speaker 1:
[85:33] Uh, really? I mean, he's like full Afro. It's a perm.

Speaker 3:
[85:38] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[85:39] Oh. I love that you claim it, though.

Speaker 3:
[85:42] That's a choice.

Speaker 1:
[85:42] Good for you. Yeah, I don't care. Why? Does it not look good?

Speaker 2:
[85:45] It's a little fallen.

Speaker 1:
[85:46] Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's time to re-perm.

Speaker 9:
[85:49] We all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on, but too often life or usually price gets in the way. That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality. With up to 60 percent off hotels and up to 50 percent off flights, you can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com and book your next trip today.

Speaker 3:
[86:16] Go to your happy price Priceline.

Speaker 1:
[86:19] Today didn't work out very well. It was actually kind of weird. But like, I don't know what happened.

Speaker 3:
[86:22] But that's also not good for your hair.

Speaker 1:
[86:25] It's OK. I take finesse, right? I'm fine.

Speaker 2:
[86:29] Trying to see the hairline?

Speaker 1:
[86:31] It's fine. I got a big forehead, but yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah. No, I'm not Jewish. Would you care if I was?

Speaker 2:
[86:38] No, I'd feel better.

Speaker 3:
[86:40] I actually have a friend who loves a Jew.

Speaker 2:
[86:42] Oh, yeah, we do.

Speaker 3:
[86:43] I would have put her on.

Speaker 1:
[86:45] $358 a month, so that's on top of your previous car payment. You have a child. Why did you get this car so expensive? It's so stupid.

Speaker 3:
[86:55] So that I can safely drive in places.

Speaker 1:
[86:57] Why do you think every car before 2025 was immediately you get in it and you die?

Speaker 3:
[87:03] No, but like-

Speaker 1:
[87:04] You're a stripper.

Speaker 3:
[87:05] Okay, but also I'm not good at taking care of cars, and this one comes with the app. So it tells me when I have to take care of it.

Speaker 1:
[87:12] You were engaged to the most of the things I've ever borne.

Speaker 2:
[87:16] Not engaged.

Speaker 3:
[87:17] It tells me when I nail oil change. It tells me my tire pressure. Helpless. It tells me stuff.

Speaker 1:
[87:25] Literally go and kill yourself. In Minecraft and not literally.

Speaker 3:
[87:31] I actually die in Minecraft a lot. I don't play it anymore.

Speaker 1:
[87:35] It's a kid's game.

Speaker 3:
[87:35] I don't have the dexterity.

Speaker 1:
[87:37] Dexterity? It's a kid's game.

Speaker 3:
[87:39] Yeah. I'm good at Mario.

Speaker 1:
[87:42] You're dating a broken individual. Okay, you have $39,000 in suit of loans. $29,000 in suit of loans.

Speaker 3:
[87:50] Oh, really?

Speaker 1:
[87:51] That's not good. You're not done. $29,865. You don't think it's going to be like $250. $300, $350. On top of all your other debt that you really can't pay off. So does that mean this Chase checking account is yours? $329? Well, better than her.

Speaker 3:
[88:12] I don't have a checking. I don't have a checking with Chase.

Speaker 1:
[88:16] So you have two?

Speaker 2:
[88:16] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[88:17] What the f***?

Speaker 2:
[88:18] Well, I keep one like-

Speaker 1:
[88:18] Okay, it went from $200 to $300. Yippee. It's transferring things back and forth. And you had an overdraft fee actually the other day. So not even just yesterday. So you've actually had multiple overdraft fees. So you actually have no idea what you're talking about. So shut the f*** up. Do not defend your financial position in any way whatsoever. You're broken. You have no idea what's happening. You're broken. You have no idea what's happening. Shut up.

Speaker 3:
[88:40] That's me.

Speaker 1:
[88:42] Okay. You have like a thousand different accounts. I don't fully understand why.

Speaker 3:
[88:47] So one of them, I have a sub account for my son.

Speaker 1:
[88:51] I'm so confused how you're the one that is doing better. Like, kind of. I mean, you have more debt, but the car is... Do you actually have 7,000 in savings?

Speaker 3:
[88:59] Yeah. Well, that is a part of it.

Speaker 1:
[89:01] How is the literal one doing better than you?

Speaker 3:
[89:04] Because that's for her kid. So part of that is like already put to the side because I pay... So my mom, like I said, she pays like half of his tuition. So 5,000 of that next year is going straight to his tuition.

Speaker 1:
[89:19] Tattoo Supply, Real Skin USA, Nails, Amazon, Amazon, getting fucking vending machine bullshit, Amazon bullshit, Amazon, Amazon bullshit, Where You Work, Discount Zone. I think we have one of those here, unless they use that name for a lot of places. Is it a chain?

Speaker 3:
[89:40] Is it a chain? Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1:
[89:42] Okay. Never been, but I've driven past it. Avian and Exotic Animals again. So you guys go there every second of your life. Vaping, Chinese, Cash App, Cash App, Up and Smoke again. Bullshit, going to work, Amazon, Up and Smoke. Fucking the Batik again, and withdraw, and withdraw. Yeah, withdrawing $679. Who knows where that went? Vaping, Cash App, Cash App.

Speaker 3:
[90:09] That sounds like it was my car.

Speaker 1:
[90:09] Cherry Kitten, Apple Cash.

Speaker 3:
[90:11] That was my car.

Speaker 1:
[90:11] Oh, okay. Starbucks, bullshit. Nails again.

Speaker 2:
[90:16] Well, that's part of my uniform.

Speaker 1:
[90:17] Ideal Market, bullshit. Cash App out, Uber Eats.

Speaker 5:
[90:21] You don't have money.

Speaker 3:
[90:23] I think that was what I was saying.

Speaker 1:
[90:24] Vanola, parking, I think. Cash App, Cash App. Apple Bell, vaping. Oh, Southern Images.

Speaker 3:
[90:32] That was my son's school pictures.

Speaker 1:
[90:37] Don't start an OnlyFans.

Speaker 2:
[90:39] Why?

Speaker 1:
[90:39] Because your kids' friends will find it.

Speaker 2:
[90:42] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[90:43] At some point, it's going to be very embarrassing. And one of you would be decent to masturbate to, and you do not want your son's friends to masturbate to one of you.

Speaker 2:
[90:54] To be fair, you have not seen me when I'm at work bartending.

Speaker 3:
[90:58] Body is tea. That waste is ridiculous.

Speaker 1:
[91:03] Are we going to budget as a householder independently? Because we should do as a household at this point, guys.

Speaker 2:
[91:07] I think so, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[91:08] Okay, so household income. Okay, let's get your debt-man empty payments.

Speaker 3:
[91:16] I am. I did get a planner for it.

Speaker 1:
[91:23] Good, proud of you.

Speaker 3:
[91:24] It was free, too.

Speaker 1:
[91:27] Wonderful.

Speaker 4:
[91:29] That's where I was, Helium.

Speaker 1:
[91:31] How many guys are you texting like this? How many guys does she texting like this?

Speaker 3:
[91:34] Two and a half.

Speaker 2:
[91:34] Three.

Speaker 1:
[91:36] Two and a half.

Speaker 3:
[91:36] What is in a half?

Speaker 2:
[91:37] Two and a half.

Speaker 3:
[91:37] One of them is kind of falling off a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[91:40] Why?

Speaker 2:
[91:42] I mean, they all live far away.

Speaker 3:
[91:44] Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1:
[91:45] So he fell off or you fell off? Why are you texting them? If you're not getting anything, why are you texting them?

Speaker 3:
[91:51] Companionshipy.

Speaker 2:
[91:53] Oh, wait, what the f***? What do you mean?

Speaker 3:
[91:56] What do you mean? You read the text.

Speaker 1:
[91:58] Okay, we'll continue that in the post-show. I'm going to look at all of them. Here we go. Okay. What's your rent?

Speaker 2:
[92:04] $14.

Speaker 3:
[92:05] Oh, the soon to be rent, right.

Speaker 1:
[92:07] Utilities?

Speaker 2:
[92:09] It's included.

Speaker 1:
[92:10] Okay, is that including the internet? Gas and electricity? Yeah, all of it. Debt and interest payments $1,167.61. Student loans will go on top of that unless you go to grad school, but then who knows what we're doing. Phone bill?

Speaker 3:
[92:23] Mine's like $71.

Speaker 2:
[92:25] Mine's paid for.

Speaker 1:
[92:27] Okay, $71. Gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive.

Speaker 2:
[92:33] I would put it high up there, because we both drive to school.

Speaker 1:
[92:35] Well, tell me where high up there is.

Speaker 3:
[92:36] I'd say maybe $50 a week for me.

Speaker 1:
[92:39] Okay, so $200 for you.

Speaker 3:
[92:40] How much for you?

Speaker 2:
[92:41] $400?

Speaker 1:
[92:42] How much for car insurance?

Speaker 3:
[92:44] I pay mine six months in full, so...

Speaker 1:
[92:48] What is it?

Speaker 3:
[92:49] I think it's like $14 for the six months.

Speaker 1:
[92:54] Okay, $233, you?

Speaker 2:
[92:56] Mine's taken care of.

Speaker 1:
[92:57] I don't understand how you're f**king follow this up. You are the issue.

Speaker 2:
[93:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[93:01] Kind of. I mean, you're getting worse. So $233 a month for you. $234, we'll call it. Groceries, kit and everything. We should be able to do about $800. Follow the meal plan. They got to do meal prep. It's pretty good, so you're okay. TP fund, anything else for you guys to survive? Tampons, morning after, all that good stuff. $250.

Speaker 2:
[93:18] $80 for the rabbits.

Speaker 1:
[93:21] Okay, yeah, I'll put that in the pet. Okay, $80 for rabbits. Medical health care, their co-pays and shit on a monthly basis?

Speaker 2:
[93:30] I do get sick a lot, so probably like $20.

Speaker 1:
[93:32] Okay, $20. Subscriptions, I'll put. $50. Okay, anything else that needs to be in this budget, I need to know now.

Speaker 3:
[93:41] My nails and hair, like maintenance?

Speaker 1:
[93:44] Oddly enough, actually, might be justified for your work. Okay, so here's the thing. I'll give you $1,000 for whatever. Are you a contractor?

Speaker 3:
[93:55] What do you mean?

Speaker 1:
[93:56] Okay, go in Minecraft.

Speaker 3:
[93:58] Oh, I am, I am a, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[94:01] I'm giving you $1,000 for whatever. You put it towards fun, you put it for anything, it doesn't matter. And yet, even still with that, you have an extra $5,000 left. So be easy, you guys just control your spending. You guys are absolute morons. $72,845.65, yeah, it is. You guys are stupid of even needing to be on the show. Minus student loans, $42,000. Minus, okay, let's just call it $42,000 is what's left. By $5,000, literally takes eight and a half months. And you get a fully funded emergency fund, call that an extra eight months or whatever. A year and a half, you guys have a fully funded six month emergency fund and everything, and then you save up for retirement, you guys will be fine. That was the easiest thing in the world. Shut up, you guys are f***ing morons. Just control your spending and budget. Budget together, shut the f*** up. Children, we'll get back into that crazy shit and go through everything that's going on in the post show. So make sure you stick around for that. Let's get the hammer financial score first together. Spending and a budget over zero out of 10, because you overspent. Debt, there's collections, zero out of 10. Emergency fund, but that savings for the kids. Okay, there was like 2,000 also additional, 2,000. So two out of 10. Retirement items, anything zero out of 10, real estate zero out of 10. You need to start saving for retirement now. In a year and a half, you'll be able to. You'll be able to actually have a pretty good retirement together. So hammer financial score, 0.5 out of 10. Get yours at calebhammer.com. Join Hammer Elite by clicking that join button. Join us for an extra 20 minutes of this in the Financial Audit post show, and three premium shows posted every single day, six days a week. See you guys there. Thanks for three million subs. Bye-bye. At the end of that conversation, you said, no for emotional and extra shit. Yeah. What the do you mean by that?

Speaker 3:
[95:38] I mean, not emotional.

Speaker 1:
[95:40] Please go into it, because she's not happy about this.

Speaker 3:
[95:42] We've had those talks.

Speaker 1:
[95:43] What are you getting out of this?

Speaker 3:
[95:44] I like to flirt.

Speaker 1:
[95:45] So you want to watch them check out?

Speaker 3:
[95:47] I like to look at it.

Speaker 1:
[95:48] Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.

Speaker 4:
[96:10] Not a single bite. Guess the fish finally figured it out. Just like hackers do, when Cisco Duo is on guard. With Duo's end-to-end fishing resistance, every login, every device, every user stays protected. No hooks, no catches, no bites. Cisco Duo, fishing season is over. Learn more at duo.com.