transcript

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[00:32] Yeah, folks, welcome to an all-new episode of So Bad It's Good. This is your pal Ryan, and this is your Friday episode. You did it, you made it through another week. Oh, you guys, I'm barely alive, barely alive. I hope you're doing better than I am. Man, Rebecca went out to an early dinner with her friend, and man, Romy just lit me up, man. If you're watching on YouTube, you can still see, I mean, completely spit up on me right here, but I wear that as a badge of honor. I'm not changing. Rebecca is going to be so mad that I didn't change out of this shirt. But yeah, it's a point of pride at this time. She was just screaming in my face, this girl has some lungs. Like I said earlier the week, I'm so proud of that. But like I was doing there, I was making up songs, I was walking her around, I was rocking her, I was doing everything in my power. And finally, it stopped. But man, my head was like, I have the craziest headache right now. It lasted for hours. But God, I love her so much. She is so fun to look at. Okay. Now, this is going to be a Valley recap. Jasmine Goode is going to be here. We did this interview last week. She's great. I wish she was in the show that we're recapping. We've not had Janet for two weeks. We didn't really have Jasmine this week except for one scene. Then my new favorite, Lacey, we didn't have Lacey at all. Jessie's girlfriend, Lacey. Those are my favorites. But we have a lot of talk about The Valley. How this is going to work is that I'm going to talk because we have to talk about Summer House. Unfortunately, it's legally required by law to talk about Summer House a little bit and then we'll do Jasmine Goode, and then we'll do a Valley recap. It's probably not going to be a long recap because, but maybe it will because sometimes it's fun to kind of pick these things apart and act like I know what I'm talking about, going this is what I would have done. There is this thing though, because when you think about Summer House, when you compare the two, we talked about this yesterday with Rebecca is that you've had 10 seasons with some of these people, like Kyle, Amanda, Carl, Lindsay, and so you're really invested. You're really invested in these relationships and it feels like this is probably not fair to say, but since Jax is no longer a part of this show, it's like a rebuilding season. And it feels like they're trying to find their footing and they're really misplacing their steps a lot. But at the same time, there is this element of realness in the fact of Kristen Doty sharing her postpartum story and you see what she's going through, you see what Nia is going through. I mean, these are really intense things. And I will say they're so intense and so real that sometimes that doesn't make for the best reality television. Because it's so real. And so at one point, I guess the good news is that it's kind of maybe helping people understand, maybe men understand a little bit better, maybe women that have not had kids yet, that these are very real things. But that's happening and then it feels like they're faking some storylines completely. Shout out to whoever works reception at Hammer and Nails, a male hair cutting place that just happened to pop up at the bar to talk to Tom Schwartz. It seems like there's some kind of staged little pieces of this, which I never loved. So it's like this weird mix of real real and then stage and then just kind of boring a little bit. And we're four episodes in, I keep waiting to like, okay, when are we digging in? What's the storyline? And maybe it's just that everybody was so intense with each other in those first two seasons. Like I'm so curious about why Janet has not been on these two episodes. Now, obviously she makes an appearance, or I think she has a big episode next week because I noticed she's also on Watch What Happens Live. So Janet probably comes back in full force, but I'm really curious where this goes. But I think the issues that Kristen and Nia are dealing with are not, you know, it's like it's, it's, I hope you almost feel bad that they have to be on television right now. Does that make sense? You almost you're like, oh God, I just wish you'd be like, take six months off. You know, it's like you're going through a lot. You're going through a lot. And it's interesting, though, because you compare it with Summer House or you even watch Ladies of London directly after it. And it's kind of like Ladies of London is almost this elevated style of comedy, even though in Ladies of London, you have Margot dealing with a postpartum issue as well. But it's almost a little bit more arch comedy, if that makes sense. You know, it's like they're not playing it for laughs, but it's almost just elevated and there's like a British sensibility to it. And maybe they're just newer characters. So you're just more kind of like, okay, like what do you guys got going on? Which is a compliment to Ladies of London. It's like the same thing with Rhode Island in a sense. Like these are like fully established shows. But the Valley just seems to be making some, there's some misfires there and I don't know necessarily, I don't know if it's just you let this season go and then you really find your footing next season. But I don't know, am I the only one that feels that at all? Because there are little things, even Brandon, Brittany's new boyfriend, I was expecting to see him again this episode. He was making some flagrant mistakes last episode and you're like, well, at least somebody's making these mistakes where you're going to be like, what a goof. I mean, that's the thing with these shows is that it kind of lets us have this weirdly moral superiority that we don't necessarily deserve. And we get to be like, that's wrong, that's right. And we all do like insane wrong things in our own life. But it's these 43 minute episodes where we can be like, you know what, in this 43 minutes, I'm right and you're wrong. So I don't know. We'll get into that. How are you guys? Are you better than I am? I bet you don't have a headache right now. Great. Also, I watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1. You know, some interesting moments. We'll recap it. You know, those trailers make it look just like, holy shit, the Beverly Hills reunion looks insane. It's not fully insane yet. There's a couple of moments that will be fun to talk about. And I, okay, let's get into Summer House. You know, the bridge to me talking about Summer House, I was noticing Andy Cohen, you know, he was introducing all the Beverly Hills ladies, and he's like, oh my God, Erica, that, you know, that outfit looks great. What, who are you wearing? And it was like a little jovial at the start of the reunion. Andy's excited to see everybody. And I just can't imagine Andy's going to have those same vibes with Summer House because it seems like there's so much intensity, like probably for that cast going into today, let alone the parasocial family Summer House audience that we are. I mean, listen, I was thinking about it last night. I was thinking about it all today. What's happening? What's going on? You can't help. But you know, and that's what's horrible, but also really good because on reality television, that's what you want. But also it's kind of horrible because we realize just how deeply parasocial we are. You know, it's like, whoa, just like Tom Schwartz said during Scandival, you get lost in the sauce. You're getting lost in the sauce because you're like, oh my God, we have to wait a month. We have to wait a month to watch this reunion. Unless there are leaks, which I, there are leaks. So where do we start? Let's start with we got like we always do, the morning of the reunion, we get the seating assignment, the Summer House seating assignment. There has been so much talked about in regards to who is going to sit where we need to know. Oh, sorry. Like you open Instagram and then you just hit with more Summer House information. I've got to get another hobby, man. I like movies too. I just like fiction. I like music. I like Legos. I like my Instagram is so messed up. It's just Summer House right now, just like the show in some ways. OK, let's get on the old Bravo IG. Guys, it's a shout out for you guys. Don't follow Bravo on Instagram. Give them a follow Bravo TV. They're pretty good. So this was released 11 hours ago. I'm talking to you at nine o'clock tonight. Sorry, I'm just seeing Danny's Danny Pellegrino's comment. He goes, Good for Levi. And we'll get into why he wrote that. Good for Levi. Okay. So weirdly enough, Andy's not at the head. They put Kyle in Andy. No, it's Andy Cohen, obviously. So they didn't do two rows. You know how Kaya, if you listen to Wednesday's episode, Kyle was like, what if they had two rows? And I was like, I'll allow it. I like that. No, it's just really long row on Andy's left and a really long row on Andy's right. Now, if you are Andy Cohen, to your right, you got Sierra Miller. That's a no brainer, right? We knew Sierra was going to get one of those front seats. Across from Sierra is Amanda Batuglia. Amanda Batuglia is sitting directly across from Sierra. So when I saw this, I was like diabolical, even though it makes sense. You know, it's like this does not, it does not not make sense. And then next to Sierra is Kyle Cook. Isn't this one of the first reunions that Kyle has not sat next to Amanda Batuglia? Now, guess who Kyle is across from? Wesleyan Wilson. So Amanda Batuglia is sitting next to Wes Wilson. And this is that thing that's frustrating. Like, so from my understanding, Amanda Batuglia is standing, standing ten toes down in her relationship and how she feels about Wes Wilson. And there's nothing that any of us can do or say. We can rage, I can bitch and moan on this podcast. By the way, if anything, only makes that relationship like them kind of like hover closer to each other. Because that's what you do in those scenarios, right? You really get into that like I need somebody. So I would imagine all of the noise, which I'm a part of, not that I'm the voice that's making them. But you know, it's like us collectively as an audience, I bet they lean on each other even more. But isn't that just weird? Like Amanda could have come into this reunion and been herself, you know, just talked about Amanda and what she's doing with the rest of her life and not the thing that she's doing for the rest of her life being Wes Wilson. I keep thinking, man, like at this point, they must be so relieved that the reunion is over because they've got to have so, it had to be so intense for them going into this thing. And now they can kind of, the rest of the cast can maybe breathe a little bit of a sigh of relief. They can figure out what's going on, you know? I mean, but for Amanda and Wes, they can figure out what the hell their relationship is. But it is interesting. We've gotten so many accounts from so many women about Wes. And like it is interesting of like that Amanda, like Amanda is going to be the first girl that Wes like truly tries to settle down with. Like that's, that's interesting. And so it's like, okay, you might have really fucked up your career on Bravo. But you found your love. I don't know. It's just so hard for my brain to accept, but I've got a tiny, tiny brain. So Amanda and Wes. Oh, there was another thought that just like flew out of my brain. Okay. So then next to Wes, you got Carl Radke. And that's, you know, Carl, you can place Carl anywhere. That's just a good hearted man at this point. This is a man. And by the way, this is a great example for all the other man, including Wes Wilson, that you can really work towards change. You can really work towards peace. You can face your demons. Now, I don't know if Wes thinks he has any demons, but Carl has faced his or is facing his every day. So you can put Carl anywhere. I would imagine he's a calming force, and it's going to be really interesting to see what he says during the reunion. Now, on this other side of Kyle, you got Lindsay Hubbard, man. That is a toxic twosome. And I say that as a compliment. You got the one-two punch of a Kyle and a Lindsay right next to each other. Oh my God, just imagine the sounds that will come out of both of them. Now, next to Lindsay Hubbard, you got Mia. So you got Sierra's good best friend Mia on the same row as Sierra. Now, Kaia and we, I was hoping that Sierra, Mia and KJ were going to be all next to each other, but that's obviously not realistic. Now, on the other side of Mia, facing directly across from Mia, you got Jesse Solomon. Jesse Solomon, you know, the show paints Jesse as Wes' best friend, even though they just met each other the first season, two seasons ago, but sure. And then next to Jesse Solomon, you got KJ. Now, I was pissed KJ wasn't on Mia, Sierra's row, but then you think about it and I'm like, well, Sierra can look towards KJ and maybe get a little strength. Is this what it feels like to be in the sports? Like you're talking about the players across, like who's at the 50-yard line and who they're? I don't know, but I was thinking, okay, I'm sad that KJ is not on Sierra's row, but Sierra can look towards KJ. Now, they let Mia sit next to KJ. I'm sorry, they let Dara sit next to KJ. So KJ and Dara, boyfriend and girlfriend, they're sitting next to each other. And then facing KJ, you got Bailey. Bailey is facing KJ, and then next to Bailey on her row, you have Ben. Ben. Now, Sabrina is not... She doesn't have a chair, so I don't think she'll be brought out at any point. But then on the other side, after Dara, Levi. Levi is sticking out like a sore thumb right here. These are long rows. So you like, on Amanda's row, you got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. You got 7 people on Amanda's row. You got 6 people on Sierra's row, and then Andy Cohen directly in the middle. But that's why Danny Pellegrino or him commenting, good for Levi, exclamation point. I got to tell you, man, I stumbled upon some of Levi's TikToks, and she was talking about her Monster High dolls, and I think I said this, but I was like, God, I got into it. I was like, she's kind of weird in a really fun, cool way where I'm like, damn, it sucks when you're not involved in a major storyline and the show leaves you in the dust a little bit. I don't know what they're going to do. I don't even know if Summer House is going to be a show next season with any of these people. But I do like that Levi is there, but it's kind of funny because Levi is getting used less and less and less. And they came in as friends, Bailey and Levi, and Bailey's getting some storylines, right? Bailey had that storyline with Ben, Bailey has the storyline with Carl, and Bailey, they've made sure her storyline, we've met both of her parents, we've talked about her podcast. So we've gotten a lot of Bailey this season. So she is definitely a lock if this show is returning. 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Speaker 3:
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Speaker 2:
[17:46] Will this show return? Where there's money, there's a way. You know? Where there's money. It's like Vanderpump rules after, like, oh, it can't come back out of a Scandiball. Yeah, it's going to come back out of a Scandiball. Are you kidding me? They can sell like a high ad rate. Are you kidding me? Of course. Now, eventually, that was the last season and then they had to reboot the show. But instead of like just throwing Vanderpump rules away entirely, they realized that name has valuable intellectual property. So they're going to just reboot it with a different cast. And I think Summer House, Summer House has name cache, obviously. But man, I'm so pissed, because this is truly one of my favorite vibey shows. And you just realize there's true, a true darkness has entered the Hamptons. And yeah. OK, so that was the seating chart. So Andy Cohen posted his normal like him with the cards and like, oh, you know, it's like going to be a big day. I will say Andy Cohen at the the end, he did his normal like posting a story when they were wrapping filming. And I was, this is where my weird head goes. I was pissed because it looked like there was still some daylight. Like I could see daylight in the background of Andy like filming himself, leaving the filming. And I was like, like for some reason, I equate the amount of time with like a greater success, which also just tells you why these podcasts are just so damn long that I do. But like I saw a little bit of light in the background in New York and I was like, no, no, no, they should be leaving at midnight. They should be leaving that in the dead of night. But then I was like, okay, well, maybe if they got everything, Andy said all the questions were asked. All the questions were asked. That doesn't mean all the questions were answered, but at least they were asked according to Andy. But Andy's not going to come out and be like, God, that sucked. That was not good at all. You guys, it's going to be a big waste. It's going to be a big waste of your time to watch this whole show. I like Andy was in like a salmon color, like a pink suit with a white shirt. So Andy says, well, I'm walking out of the Summer House Reunion. And he said, I probably hosted like 200 reunions in his day, right? 200 reunions. And he said, in all of those reunions he's hosted, this had to be one of, if not the most intense. One of, if not the most intense. And he looked, he looked beat, you guys. He looked beat. And I will say, if you watch Watch What Happens Live, like I do every night, the last couple of episodes, he is even the one with Jessie. And I know this is just like me reading into things and it might not be true at all. He just looked downtrodden. He looked downtrodden. And in my weird mind, I was like, okay, maybe it's because, you know what the housewives, those are intense and stuff. But like those housewives, sometimes they're like kind of these superhero type characters, like Herculean in a way. I know that sounds silly. Aviva Drescher once called them gladiator with tits. Housewives are gladiators with tits. And I always thought that was very funny that she said that. But there's like this elevation to them. They do come off as superheroes sometimes, very elevated. But with Summer House, I think there's a little bit more sadness because Andy probably watched them when they were all nothing, not nothing, they were just people, right? They were just normies. I mean, normies that could afford a share house. But normies all the same. And to think 10 seasons later, this is where it is. You know, Andy gets a lot of shit, you know, like he does. I think sometimes he gets some unfair shit for what he does. But I think this dude has a pretty big heart. I know I'm going to get shit for that, but I think he does. I think he feels very deeply. And I think sometimes when you, you feel that it's got to weigh you down. But it seems I won't watch What Happens Live. It just seemed like he was stressed. It seemed like he was stressed. It seemed like he was sad. And I do wonder if that had anything to do with this. I always wonder for Andy, like he's hosted that many. And like some of them, yeah, some of them he seems like, okay, let's just get this over. But I wonder sometimes if it's like, this is a big one for him. I don't know. I don't know. So that's, that's that. Now we got some, we got some demois. Not I don't, I wouldn't call these leaks, but we got some demois information. We've gotten little pieces of information out there. About things that potentially happened at the reunion. Now, good news, Sierra got some more money because she got, they posted a Sonic ad with her and Ariana Maddox. We didn't get that Coachella photo, which I predicted two weeks ago because Sierra wasn't at Coachella. But we did get Ariana and Sierra in a Sonic ad together, which was very cute, very funny. I don't believe there's a Sonic in Los Angeles, so I can't support that way. But it was very funny. And so I just think that's funny. I think Ariana is still being able to make a little bit of a bag off of Sandoval, which is, I think, well deserved. And Sierra was able to make some more money too on her way to Dancing with the Stars. And she's at, I think, 942 or 43,000 Instagram followers. I know a lot of people want to get her to a million. You know, that is such a funny thing. Like, million is such a big number, so it's kind of a cool thing. At the end of the day, that doesn't matter at all. I'm telling you, more followers, it doesn't. You know, it's like everybody, I always thought that when I had like 500 followers, I was like, oh, wouldn't it be cool? Wouldn't it be cool? And sometimes, you know, it is cool here and there, but it's a lot of stress. You can't really answer any of your DMs or you get like, if your mind's like mine, I have a little bit of ADHD and I'll open like six or seven. And then I just completely go, it's too much, it's too much. And I throw my phone down or I just start looking at like TMZ and the Daily Mail and trash like that because I can't keep opening DMs. So like the million, I don't think Ciara truly cares about a million, but it's like one of those things for the fans of like, let's get her there. We've accomplished something, you know? Okay, so Dumois posted something, I think this seemed like halfway through probably the shooting. Apparently, Wes and Amanda are being combative with Ciara. Amanda is stone cold. And that was just so hard for me to believe. I just I was like, no way. No, like I feel I would feel like Amanda would be very apologetic or and then both being combative. That just even goes against West at these reunions. So I'm curious. I'm curious what that's coming from. And maybe I'm just trying to speculate because I was remembering when Paige felt like Craig should have stood up for her after the breakup because she was getting she was getting some really intense threats, which is insane. And so maybe they I don't I just I can only speculate, but I hope that's a false, false leak. And then Dumois had something at rap saying, Saul West and Amanda leave the reunion together, left in the same car. Amanda was draped in a ridiculous blanket. She loves to like wrap herself up, which psychologically I'm not a therapist. I'm not Freud here, but that might say something about protection. And then it looks like Dumois wrote, is she in a Lola blanket? And the person wrote, LOL looks like it. I don't know what a Lola blanket is. Is that like a fancy blanket or let's look up what a Lola blanket is, you guys. Oh, it's not fancy. It's like 67 bucks. Oh, well, here's a Lola blanket from Revolve for 325 bucks. But it's like a super soft, cozy, oversized blanket. Sounds nice. Maybe I want a Lola blanket. So maybe this is Amanda advertising for Lola. I don't know. That was a piece of information. We did get the news that Bailey will be on Watch What Happens Live next Tuesday. So they are following the scandal of having cast members from Summer House still on. So I would imagine our first official statements from the cast in regards to, I mean, official, I'm not talking about like leaks or anything like that, will be from Bailey on Tuesday. I would imagine Andy will make some comments on Radio Andy on Monday with John Hill on his radio show. Unless Andy, we've seen Andy do this sometimes is he'll have like a tequila or something and he'll be like, oh, going to bed. And I was just thinking, man, that was intense. Man, that was intense. We might get something like that. We've seen that in the past many times. Oh, and then, okay, this is positive news. Let's put some positivity out there. Now the Carl's a Mess sweatshirt or the hoodie and the t-shirt, my t-shirt should be getting mailed very soon. It raised $25,000 for Release Recovery, which is a charity that Carl Radke is very involved with. And Kyle threaded, all because of our amazing Summer House fans and Bravo community, thank you for your support. So $25,000 goes to Release Recovery. I'm not sure what the split was between Loverboy and that, but that's good news. So something good has come from all of this. Now, an account that I love, Bravo Love Baby Underscore, got this information. I don't know if this is from Reddit or if this was turned in to her. It says, West came in hot. He was pretty confident when speaking about the timeline of him and Amanda's relationship, which still isn't defined. OK, which still isn't defined. That's interesting. West did more talking than Amanda. The most emotional we saw him was when he was going back and forth with Sierra. West didn't seem too confident when their timeline was exposed and the other women were spoken about. Andy seemed pretty annoyed with them. Amanda was really cold about Kyle. She couldn't answer questions like she was stuck. The rest of the cast was defending Sierra and Kyle. It was just a lot like the air was sucked out of the studio. Yeah, I mean, I would imagine when shit gets like real, you know those moments in life when things get real and it just feels like you like, it's like that moment when you hear a car crash. It's like the air get or like a fight's about to break up. There's something weird that happens to the air and you can just kind of hear it. It's like something like just particles in the air shift. So that would make sense to me. And I'm so sorry. I hope I'll write on the show notes. I don't want to ruin anything for you. And like I said, these are all, this is just speculation. Like people can write anything they want about anybody on the Internet. So this might be a completely made up thing. Who knows? And now, finally, I don't want to get too into this. But there is, okay, two more things. There was another demois thing saying, Wes Wilson and his attention-seeking sit down. And the message reads, Complex is the outlet that Wes works for, right? Is desperate to capitalize on the best moment and want to, are set to shoot a sit down interview with him that will drop before the Summer House Reunion. I don't know how it works over at Bravo with everything, but I don't imagine that... I don't know if you can do that. I mean, you could do that, but before the Reunion would be... Well, I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it, that Howie Mantell weird interview, I don't know. I don't know. But that obviously would be more on his turf and he'd be able to maybe have a little bit more control over that. And then finally, yeah, that finally, there is a... There's a two minute and 38 second audio clip from the actual reunion that has been sent around right now. I'm not going to play it. I'm not touching that thing with a 10 foot pole. I think I heard about it from a Carl's Mess account. I think Bravo and Cocktails has it. I've now I've been sent it a bunch of times. And I think that's very I'm not I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole. So, but I'm sure if you want it, it is out there probably at many locations. But I would advise anybody out there, do not pass that around, do not spread that around. That's probably not good. But what I can, I was sent it and my first thought was like, oh, this is probably AI. There's just no way. There's no way. And then I've listened to it a bunch of times. It's definitely not AI. Somebody is definitely recording it. It doesn't feel, it feels like it's somebody. It's, you know, if I were to speculate, it seems like it's one of the cast members that recorded it. I don't know why I, you know, but it's very, it's a very, it's very intense. I'm not, it's very intense. And all I will say is like even the stuff I was speculating with Rebecca yesterday on the podcast, a lot of that stuff seems to be true. There's a lot in that two minutes and 38 seconds. But hopefully Bravo tamps down on that, finds out who it is and puts a stop to that. And yeah, that's, it's very, I mean, but it was very upsetting, very chilling and you realize kind of how real all of this is. And it confirms a lot of things.

Speaker 4:
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Speaker 1:
[31:44] Choice Hotels get you more of what you value.

Speaker 3:
[31:56] Book direct at storieshilltales.com.

Speaker 5:
[32:00] If you have nothing nice to say, you can sit with us. I'm Suzanne Lambert, comedian, mean girl, and internet menace, and this is the Mean But True Podcast. Every week, a special guest in the night will talk, pop culture, current events, romance, whatever we feel like. I don't know, are you a cop? We'll be keeping it funny, playful, and petty, per usual. You cringe at the sight of people posting QR codes to fund their own bachelorette parties? You need to know how to respond to that co-worker with the bad haircut, who's always making digs or just need to get something off your chest. Make sure to subscribe to Mean But True wherever you listen to podcasts, unless of course you hate fun, in which case, don't. I'm Suzanne Lambert and this is Mean But True.

Speaker 2:
[32:44] Folks, welcome back to So Bad It's Good. Today is a very exciting day because we are going to take a trip to the valley. Our next guest has been on the valley all three seasons. She is not a stranger to reality television. You might have first came to know her on The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. She's also a former NFL cheerleader and she is going to be getting married, I would imagine, very soon. If not already, the one and only Jasmine Goode. Jasmine, welcome to the show.

Speaker 6:
[33:10] Hello. Hi, everybody.

Speaker 1:
[33:11] Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:
[33:13] Thank you. Let's start easy. I love you and you and your fiancee on the show. You guys really have this beautiful relationship and I was wondering, what do you love about Melissa?

Speaker 6:
[33:25] Oh my God. Do you see what she looks like? I mean, she's beautiful.

Speaker 2:
[33:29] Okay, so it's just looks. Okay, got it.

Speaker 6:
[33:32] No, it's not just looks, but besides her beauty, she literally is the most amazing person. Anybody that meets her wants to be around her. She's kind, she's super smart, and she just takes care of my heart in a way that I've never had before.

Speaker 2:
[33:48] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[33:48] I can't wait to officially call her my wife.

Speaker 2:
[33:51] So soon. Did she have a trepidation about putting any of your relationship on television for us to consume?

Speaker 6:
[33:59] Of course. Melissa is a corporate girl. She is never done reality TV. She's like, this is not normally something she would do. She's never watched The Bachelor or anything like that. So her coming into this world, she was like, okay, wait, we're going to put our relationship out there. I sat her down and I told her, I was like, look, we have a great relationship. I think we don't hide anything. I think there's nothing that we have to be scared of. So she was a little hesitant about it, but then she kind of like, these are her friends too. So she's like, okay, I kind of like it. It's not bad. So I think now she's starting to finally get the rhythm and she's not scared to say things in group settings anymore, before it was like, she's, I'm like, babe, you gotta speak up. You gotta speak up.

Speaker 2:
[34:38] You have to choose a side.

Speaker 6:
[34:40] Yeah. She's like, I don't want to fight.

Speaker 2:
[34:43] What I love about, I mean, this show is that these are genuine relationships. You guys have known each other for a very long time. Like I've known you on the periphery, I've been to a couple of events with you through the years, even before The Valley. And that's what I love about reality shows, when you actually know that these people know each other. You've always described yourself as too honest. And do you think the show has proven you right in that aspect?

Speaker 6:
[35:08] I mean, I think that sometimes it hurts me sometimes that I'm too vocal or honest about things. Like this last night episode, I just said something, and it's like, okay, I forget that people can take that and run back to somebody else and say it. When reality, I'm like, oh, I was just being honest. But when you're honest in this group, people take it as like, oh, like you're...

Speaker 2:
[35:30] Well, it becomes content and story line. So this week's episode, you guys, if you have not seen it yet, there's a Y2K party, which, you know, at eight o'clock on Hollywood Boulevard, nobody was there except for the Valley cast.

Speaker 6:
[35:43] It was dead.

Speaker 2:
[35:44] And Jasmine, I think you were having a conversation with Michelle about saying like, it must be hard to be in this friend group because a lot of people like Jessie, your ex, and say he's a good guy. And she says, yeah, that is hard. And then LaLa got brought up into it and saying that, you know, this friend group, maybe, you know, it's like maybe she wouldn't be here. She doesn't usually want to seem to hang out with me or something like that. Is that correct?

Speaker 6:
[36:07] Yeah. So that whole conversation, you know, one, me and Michelle, our friendship isn't like the tightest. And at that moment, I felt like we were finally starting to pick up our relationship. So I thought that was like a safe space to talk to a friend that, you know, we're building our relationship and she's having a conversation about Jessie being performative and I, you know, Tarzak, I don't think he is. I actually love Jessie. I love Lacey. And I was like, you know, we're going to save like what she was saying about anybody in this group. I was like, we could kind of say it about Lala too. Like, I don't know if she would be in this group if we weren't doing this right now. And it wasn't trying to throw shade at Lala. You know, me and her have talked after that, you know, and I told her two things could be true. I had a great time with her at dinner, but I can still question, would you be around hanging out with us if it wasn't for this group situation?

Speaker 2:
[36:52] I personally think that's a fair question and a fair observation, just knowing that Lala is not obviously new to the group, but new to this show as, you know, is the role, like her and Schwartz are kind of new to this aspect of it. So I thought that was normal, but I do find it funny that you did this in an empty club, where I'm like, how does Jasmine not know that immediately that's going to get back to Lala? Like, immediately.

Speaker 6:
[37:15] It was so frustrating because Michelle literally after, like I said that I thought it was fine. And she came, she's like, well, I'm sorry. I'm like, you have to own it and stand on it.

Speaker 2:
[37:23] Yes.

Speaker 6:
[37:24] That's what Robert means.

Speaker 2:
[37:25] I want people to lean in on all aspects of who they are, because I think that's what, but that was one of the bright spots, I think of this episode was watching people actually honestly talk about how they feel. And I think that's one of the questions even for the audience with Lala, which was very interesting. Also, this episode, we finally get to meet Brandon, which by the way, can I also recommend you guys, if you don't have peacock, get peacock, because they have the Valley After Show. And the Valley After Show, I would say is just as entertaining, if not sometimes more entertaining than the actual show, because you get to go in depth on these questions. And you said on the after show.

Speaker 6:
[38:03] That's where the key is at.

Speaker 2:
[38:04] Oh, you were like, I was done with Brandon after the Santa Clarita party, because you, I was like, why were you done with Brandon at that point?

Speaker 6:
[38:13] Let me explain this to you. So Brandon, I was the first person that met him at the whole group. I hung out with him multiple times at Brittany way before we started filming, and I really enjoyed him. I was like, you know what, yes, it might be too soon for her, like they're getting too close, but she was having a good time, and I'm gonna support Brittany no matter what. So I was like, you know what, I'm gonna support her. So when that happened, he came up to, you don't see the whole conversation, but he came up to me and Melissa, we were eating in the backyard at Danny's house, and he came up to me like going crazy that those girls are talking about you, and they're saying X, Y, and Z, like going in, and I said, Brandon, if you tell me this, I'm going to say something to Michelle. And he's like, he's like, okay, don't worry, I got your back, I got your back. He literally gave me a high five, but you can call Lacey and ask her that, and Melissa, they both were like, okay, that's weird, you should say something. That's why I went in the kitchen and I was like, Michelle, like you, blah, blah. And then Brandon's like, I never said that. I never said that. I was like, oh. And then I got my best friend, Zach telling me like, calm down, Jazz. I'm like, you guys don't understand, he literally just came up to me and said, it was even worse, the things he was saying that they were, quote, saying, hold on. And my thing is, I don't care, we have car rides, we all talk, we all do like debrief, like go over things. I don't care about that. It's the fact that this guy came up to me and made a big deal out of nothing, and then was like, oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1:
[39:34] I never said that. I was like, a loser.

Speaker 2:
[39:39] Do you watch back the full episodes after they come out?

Speaker 6:
[39:41] Yeah. Honestly, I hate watching them back. I'm like, oh, I cringe. But I did watch this one because I thought it was a fun episode just from the Y2K and I had a blast. But yeah, I try not to sometimes. I'm just like, I don't want to get triggered.

Speaker 2:
[39:54] But yeah, I mean, I think it would upset you in a whole different way. Brandon is a trip. And I have to say, obviously, not the right guy for Brittany. And I think if you follow her story, you know where this relationship ends up. But I do find it entertaining from a reality show standpoint of this guy is going so hard to, hey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. Let's do this now.

Speaker 6:
[40:16] You see it, right? OK, I want to make sure people see it. Because I thought I was going crazy. I was like, he's going too fast. And Brittany's like, no, it's fine. I'm like watching it back, how that date they went on and how he was like the fireworks.

Speaker 2:
[40:28] And he's like, brought out a sparkler on a dessert and said, I wanted to do something special. And wait, another thing, you guys, in the after show, we find out that Katie Maloney and her dude were at the same restaurant when this was happening.

Speaker 6:
[40:42] Oh my God, I forgot about that. That's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[40:45] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[40:45] Like he is such a clown. I can't chase her.

Speaker 2:
[40:48] Well, I said he's giving Wes Wilson vibes right now.

Speaker 6:
[40:52] Oh my God. Absolutely.

Speaker 3:
[40:54] Poor Wes.

Speaker 6:
[40:55] Poor Sierra.

Speaker 2:
[40:58] Also, I do want to stand up for you in regards to Lala. I bumped into you at the You'll Watch What Crap and live show and you said that you were like, Lala actually brought a lot of good this season.

Speaker 6:
[41:08] Yes. And that's what I was trying. I think when Michelle, when I had a conversation with her, she doesn't really kind of like understands things. I always say Michelle needs to like, she's not street smart. I think like, you know, if you say something a certain way, it doesn't mean that way.

Speaker 2:
[41:22] Oh, I got scared when you guys were like starting to get into it, I was like, oh no, Jasmine is going to clear Michelle. And Michelle's never going to come back to film again.

Speaker 6:
[41:30] Because she just doesn't get it. I was like, Michelle, that's not what I was trying. I wasn't calling Lala not genuine. I was saying like, I could say that about anybody because she's new to the group. Like that's all I'm saying. But anyway, to get back to what we said. Oh yeah, Lala.

Speaker 2:
[41:42] We're talking about Lala.

Speaker 6:
[41:43] The trend of eyes. Yes, I loved like at first, I was like, you know, a little like iffy like, okay, how's this going to be with somebody in the group who's super sober, like we're the crazy group that loves a drink. But then at the same time, as we went along with filming, is like having her around actually was nice. It was nice having a new set of eyes on situations. And you know, honestly, she did have my back a lot this season, which you guys will see soon. So I do like think that it was great, like having her a part of it.

Speaker 2:
[42:10] Okay, good. Yeah, I just wanted to say that real quick about Lala is that you do say this season, she did provide a lot of good. The other thing that we really saw, I think last week's episode was that conversation at Lala's baby's first birthday with Janet. And it was the most awkward taco eating encounter that I've been a part of. Now, I know you and Janet have been really good friends in the past. Like that is that is very true. Where do you guys stand now? Because Vanderpod Recaps posted that you guys were joking with each other in some Instagram threat.

Speaker 6:
[42:42] Yeah, no, Janet, you know, Janet, we have a crazy long history together. That was, you know, we were best friends. You know, we definitely hit a little bumpy road. And I think right now we're trying to get it back slowly, you know. But at the at Soza's birthday party, I just felt like that apology was not genuine in that moment. I just felt very like, you know, hey, I want to tell you this, I'm doing, but then can you apologize for what you did? And I was just like, that's where she did.

Speaker 2:
[43:12] She did see that I recap every episode. I was like, that's where she went wrong was that she was like, now you apologize to me. And I was like, no, no, no.

Speaker 6:
[43:19] And I was like, Janet, you can't like ask. I'm sorry, I'm just going to focus. You can't ask for like an apology after like apologizing, you know. It just to me, it was like weird. And I, but I do love Janet. I'll always like me and her will always be friends. It's just more like we're trying to bring it back slowly. So right now, I think we're at a place where we're okay. And you know, I don't think it's ever going to be like it used to be, but you know, you never know.

Speaker 2:
[43:42] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[43:43] So we're just, we're slowly getting back.

Speaker 2:
[43:44] Well, that's my question is that it seemed like, you know, at the start of this season, that you guys went like on your break from season two to season three, it seems like not a lot of people have communicated with each other over the break, because my thought was, oh, if I was Janet or if I was you, I figured this relationship would already be mended. And then we start season three and we realize that it is not mended. And you said that So's birthday party, you didn't think it was the right time and place to have this conversation. I'd like to argue that it is the right time and place. Never, just because it's a kid's party, I don't care if it's a funeral, it is the right place.

Speaker 6:
[44:16] You know, it was like one of those things where I felt like it was so, me and Janet have so much stuff that we need to like deeply talk about, that like stuff that people don't even know about. Like, if these are things that like, do we talk about things in the past? Yeah, like do we talk about stuff that people don't know about? Is that irrelevant? That's why I'm like, this conversation is gonna be so long. But yes, you're right. Maybe at a baby's party, it might be the right place to roll down.

Speaker 2:
[44:37] I was sitting there going, I don't have anything going. I'd love to see the conversation now. I was like, and then Janet had a conversation with me right after that, where I was like, she was zero for two that day, because that was even more awkward than your conversation.

Speaker 6:
[44:50] That was so awkward. Watching that back, I was like, oh, okay. And Nia didn't even say anything. I thought maybe Nia would be like, you know, Janet, we're just not ever going to be friends. No, just nothing.

Speaker 3:
[45:01] I was like, okay.

Speaker 6:
[45:02] Like, they're never going to be friends.

Speaker 2:
[45:04] Oh, I mean, that's the, as the season gets further in, and we see that Luke pulled Jason aside and wants the guys to get together. And I'm like, that is a tough road to go down, I think especially with those guys. And I don't know how to repair something. It's not my job to repair anything, but it is interesting because we're always told with reality television that it's got to be conflict and resolution.

Speaker 6:
[45:26] Yep, exactly. And that's something where, like, see, with me and my situation with Janet, because everybody has their own situation, I keep trying to tell others, like, guys, we have to get to a point where we can, like, move forward. I think that's where people are like, have the conflict. But again, where's the resolution? We have to, like, finish it up. I think some people are just so stuck in their ways that they're not even open to figuring that out. And I just don't know how this group sometimes can get back together. Like, are we ever gonna be in a space where we can try? Like, because at the end of the day, we are, we started off friends, like, we all had a big group chat. And then it just, like, of course, that disappeared.

Speaker 2:
[45:59] Like, people are just leaving the group chat right and left.

Speaker 6:
[46:01] Oh, my God. Season one, it was like, okay, group chat. Yay, guys, let's support each other. We got this. And then drop off, drop off, drop off.

Speaker 2:
[46:07] Jax is the only one still commenting in the group chat. Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[46:11] Oh, where can we, what's it gonna take to get us just in a place where we can all be in the same room and take a photo? Like, I don't know. It's like some people just have to swallow their pride and just be like, okay, let's move forward. But no one can do that.

Speaker 2:
[46:23] There was a quick shot of you showing Zach your save the date for the wedding. So are we, I mean, I don't, I really don't. Did the wedding didn't happen yet, did it?

Speaker 6:
[46:32] No, no, no, no. The wedding is this summer. Those save the dates were a hot mess. But yes, our wedding is this summer. And I'm so excited. Everyone is invited. I know you're gonna ask that.

Speaker 2:
[46:43] Well, thank you. I mean, I'll see if I can come. But I mean, it's probably just well, because by the way, I think last week of the first episode, you're like, no, I'm not, I'm not high demanding. But then you gave like 30 things that you have to have sushi. You got to make sure nobody's wearing a certain type of outfit. Are you holding true to that?

Speaker 6:
[47:01] Absolutely. Like our wedding is like over the top. It's too much. Sometimes I'm like, we're doing too much, but it's a Jersey wedding. You know what I mean about Jersey weddings? They are over the top, big, crazy. My fiancee, her family's all Italian. It was like a big. Oh, God. Yeah. So like.

Speaker 2:
[47:16] Italian.

Speaker 6:
[47:17] Yes. Italian Jersey wedding. It's going to be huge. Like we're inviting 240 people, like 250.

Speaker 2:
[47:24] Did you say 240 people?

Speaker 6:
[47:26] Yes. I know. That's what I'm saying. It's out of control. I know. That's why I'm like. Black tie. It's just going to be amazing. So yes, it's a lot. But I am still a bride.

Speaker 2:
[47:39] Oh, well, okay. I mean, that's yet to be seen. Listen, I mean, I'm just worried that the cameras are not going to be up for the fourth season to be able to see your wedding.

Speaker 6:
[47:47] We'll see. Hopefully, they can like send a camera. We're talking about some things. So hopefully, there'll be like some kind of camera there if they can't fully do a big production of it.

Speaker 2:
[47:57] Or do you make sure that like, do you make sure that it's out of season so cameras are not there?

Speaker 6:
[48:02] Or we could do either one. Yeah, you're going to show it or you're not showing nothing.

Speaker 2:
[48:07] What do you think of Lacey's another new cast member this season, Jessie Lally's girlfriend. And you say you watch these episodes. One of my favorite scenes was their dinner scene, where he was like, I love you. And she said, thank you.

Speaker 6:
[48:21] Thank you. I love that line. We all joke about it now. We all will say it to each other like, thank you. It's so funny. But that's so Lacey and Jessie. When you hang out with them and you're around them, you know their relationship is just like that. People might think it's weird or she doesn't like him. No, they love each other. She just has this like energy that's kind of like a boss bish and then Jessie's kind of like this beta little bitch boy when he's around her. Like, yeah, and I tell him this, trust me, he knows. So this isn't gonna be a surprise when he hears this. But like, he knows he's like a beta and he's like, I can't help it. And I'm like, she like runs that relationship, like has his balls on lockdown. Yeah, they're so cute together.

Speaker 2:
[49:02] No, I have to tell you, I want to see more. I mean, they were one of the high points for me of last week's episode where I was like, oh, I kind of need more of them. I was like, I can't believe this is real.

Speaker 6:
[49:12] I know, it's coming. And Lacey, they're just, I don't know, they're just both too like characters to me, but like they just work. I can't, it's like so funny to watch, but she's the sweetheart and she's great. And I want Michelle and her to be in a good place. I don't know if they ever will be, stay tuned to see, but I just feel like it's one of those things where Michelle, we were around Erin last year, you should be able to handle being around Lacey.

Speaker 2:
[49:38] Hot honey man, Erin, yes.

Speaker 6:
[49:39] Oh my God, the honey man.

Speaker 2:
[49:42] That's why. Hey, by the way, you don't have to deal with that. You're taking, you're good.

Speaker 6:
[49:46] God, like I said, my wife.

Speaker 2:
[49:50] So some of the other storylines that we're dealing with also, Danny and Nia. Well, this is what I wanted your perspective on because I think this is so unique. No other show is talking about this right now, is that we're dealing with a lot of people that are postpartum. You got Kristen with Kaia, obviously Nia. Brittany has a young son. And I think we're doing a mommy makeover in this episode. And I think there is something to be said of just what a woman puts their body through. And emotionally, we see Nia in a very, I don't want to say a dark place, because she knows she's happy and she loves her family. And Danny's like, I love my life. We're in Santa Clarita. And she's like crying in scenes.

Speaker 6:
[50:29] I know, it's like, I don't want to laugh. Do you think about Danny? He's always in character to me. I feel like he's always doing some kind of bit. And so Nia's sitting here crying, please, I just need you, baby. And I just wish in that moment he was like, listen, I love you, I'm sorry, not bringing up a sex calendar.

Speaker 2:
[50:46] Oh, he looks, all I'm thinking about is how many times you have to have sex with me, little lady.

Speaker 6:
[50:50] Five under five. I'm like, Danny, what are you doing? And I know he, knowing Danny now, I feel like maybe he didn't mean to be like that, but it's like, you can't do this. Your wife has literally just had a baby three months ago. Maybe pull back on the jokes.

Speaker 2:
[51:05] It just felt like he wasn't listening. And even Luke, though, I think it's very sweet that he wants to have relations with Kristen. It's just like, we're seeing scenes of men not listen to their better halves about they're trying to communicate how they feel. And they're like, no, no, no, but you don't understand, I like your body.

Speaker 6:
[51:22] Exactly, I'm like, these men, I'm like, what is going on with them right now? And I'm like, hello? Where's the disconnect? I don't understand why they're so worried about pleasing themselves and all this, when listen to what your fiance and your wife is telling you.

Speaker 2:
[51:37] By the way, it's not like the women are hiding how they feel. They're really open with how they feel.

Speaker 6:
[51:41] Exactly. I'm like, they're pretty open completely. Listen to them, but I don't know, I just think these men are just being selfish right now, and I really hope they can somehow get it together, because I hate watching Mia sat like that, and I hate watching Kristen. You'll see later on, she's struggling hard, and the fact that we still, throughout the season, you're going to see, I don't think he just gets it, and it's like, are you ever going to get it?

Speaker 2:
[52:06] Can I say, I've said this before this show, but Dodie in particular, we just had a baby a month ago, and Dodie reached out, she reached out to Rebecca, and has been so helpful, and so checking in on her, and making, and they didn't even know each other. And that's how caring Kristen is in regards to other women and their journeys and stuff. And I just thought that was worth mentioning because there's nothing to do with reality television.

Speaker 6:
[52:35] Exactly, Kristen's the best.

Speaker 2:
[52:36] Yeah, so who, I mean, we talked about Janet a little bit, but you and Zach seem to be kind of the every men of the group where we kind of see the show through your eyes in a way. Like, you have no problem calling things out, you're usually not insane in your opinions. Zach's calling red flags out about Brandon. You're talking about people not maybe being there faithfully to the group in realistic, natural ways. What are the other things that you had your eye out for in season three?

Speaker 6:
[53:06] Oh, this season, I don't want to give too much away on that because I feel like for me, what I kept an eye on was like, now that I was dealing with the wedding and planning that, you start to see who really are your friends who are standing there for you. This season for me, it was a struggle to, I don't want to give away things, seeing how some of my friends were, I guess my relationships with them were being handled in a way where I felt a little bit pushed to the side a lot. Disrespectful. Yeah, I started feeling, okay, are you making me disrespected by my friends? So I started seeing things in a different way and I think I kept my eyes open a lot this season on how my friends were moving when it came to my situations and things that were kind of connected to last year. And yeah, I try not to say much because I don't give it away, but there's just things that are going to happen this season. And that's why I said, I think Lala kind of had my back a lot because maybe she was new to being around how people were, I guess, my relationships with people and things are being called out. And it's like, thank you, finally, people are understanding, somebody's a new in the group that can understand what I was trying to say last year, you know? So yeah.

Speaker 2:
[54:17] And what does Schwartz bring to this group?

Speaker 6:
[54:20] Oh my gosh, Schwartz, he cracks you up. Schwartz, honestly, at first I was like, why is he here? Like, I was like, I don't get it. But he brings like this fun, I would say the fun side that we need because last year was so like, the people in this group could be a little like too serious and dark. And I think Schwartz, he could just bring that fun, lighter side that we need because I'm like, thank you. We can all have conversations and it'd be fun and light. And I think Tom brings that because last year, the group, we needed like a shake up because people take everything too serious sometimes. My gosh.

Speaker 2:
[54:51] It was so dark. It was so dark.

Speaker 6:
[54:53] It was so bad. So I think with Tom, it's just gonna be fun, very light. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[54:59] As we start winding down here though, there was something I just, I mentioned conflict resolution earlier. And one of the storylines last season was obviously with Danny and you and your fiancee. And I said this last season was that it was a really actually, you know, these shows sometimes can work their best when I, when you learn something. Like Sierra had this great conversation on Summer House talking about what it was like having West like make a fool of her and people in her comments. And you don't understand what that's like. But you also kind of took us through like, you know, two women and being catcalled or thought of in a certain way. And my dumb brain had never thought about that in my life. I was like, Oh, I don't really think about your experience. And you did talk about that. But also you seem to have been able to move on. I mean, Danny apologized to both of you. We saw that scene. And did you feel comfortable moving on? And where are you guys now? I mean, obviously, you were just at their their housewarming party and you seem close to Nia. Are you were you comfortable with that decision?

Speaker 6:
[55:59] Yeah, you know, last year, when me and Danny had that conversation, I was like, letting him, you know, like this is what it feels like to be a woman and the things that we go through in a lesbian couple. And he truly heard me and understood me. And I was like, okay, we can move forward. We're done. Like, I am okay with this. I think the whole when Janet, you know, started her thing with Danny and Nia, it kind of brought it back to me again. So people always thought that Jazz is not over it. Jazz is not over it. I'm like, no, I haven't been over it. Janet doing her thing. That's Janet doing whatever she's doing. You know, me and Danny are in a place where we decided we're going to move forward, you know? Like, we're not going to stick going back to the situation. It is done. We moved forward. We're in a good place now. You know, I feel like he truly did understand. And since then, he has showed me that, like, I don't have to worry about anything being around him.

Speaker 2:
[56:45] No dark side Danny.

Speaker 6:
[56:46] To me, I'll just say this. Stay tuned, but there's no dark side Danny happening with Jasmine over here. So whatever else happens to the booster guys, it will not be on me. Okay, okay, good.

Speaker 2:
[57:00] Also, like I said, you're obviously into real estate, but you also were a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys, and people remember you from The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, which is so funny watching back clips of that, or Nick Viall tried to talk trash about you last week. Isn't it weird how it becomes such a small world as you move further into a TV career, and then years later, you'll have somebody comment on something you did so long ago.

Speaker 6:
[57:26] It's so funny because when I saw clips coming up for The Bachelor days and Nick commenting on it, I'm like, guys, this literally was almost over 10 years ago or something. You guys are literally insane to think that that is something that's going to bother me. But it's funny that people, I guess it's cool that people are still involved in the Bachelor world and think they know my name. But I'm like, guys, it was so long ago. It's okay. I'm like, Nick, please. He's another guy like, please. He just wants the attention.

Speaker 2:
[57:55] It's all for clicks. It's all for downloads.

Speaker 6:
[57:57] But then when you see him in person, he's like, yeah, yeah. You want me on your podcast and I'm not coming on it ever.

Speaker 2:
[58:04] That's what I was going to ask. Would you ever go on his podcast?

Speaker 6:
[58:07] You know, the funny thing is I did his podcast when he first started. Like it wasn't called the Vi. I think it was. I don't know what it was. He started first doing it. He had all like the Bachelor girls do it. So I did it before, but I will never do it again because he called us all losers. And I think that's rude and disrespectful. But then he asked for us to be on his show. And I thought, well, no, he called me a loser. That's weird. Like, I didn't mean it.

Speaker 2:
[58:29] I swear to God, I didn't.

Speaker 6:
[58:30] Yeah, I was going to say that, but I watched my show. No, thank you. I'm okay.

Speaker 2:
[58:35] Where do you see yourself? Finally, where do you see yourself in five years?

Speaker 6:
[58:39] Oh, five years. Hopefully with a kid, two kids, please. That would be my dream.

Speaker 2:
[58:44] So you guys want to have a family?

Speaker 6:
[58:46] Yes. We want to start like now. If I wasn't so stressed with all the wedding stuff, I think we would be doing it. So like literally after this wedding is done, where I can focus and get the stressed away, like that is when we're going to, we already have some docs appointments lined up. So it's going to be happening, but I know I have to show it to the world. So I got to make sure the cameras are there.

Speaker 2:
[59:08] Yeah, I mean, you kind of do. By the way, last week, Zach and Danny visited Dr. Turek, a urologist, and it scared the crap out of me because that's my urologist. No, it is fully my urologist, and I was like, oh my god, my urologist has touched Danny's balls, and this is weird.

Speaker 6:
[59:26] He touched your balls and now he's touched you.

Speaker 2:
[59:32] You said earlier in the season that Jesse wants to be your officiant, are you letting Jesse Lally be your officiant?

Speaker 6:
[59:39] I did think about it. We thought about it for a second. Me and Melissa were like, you know what? Maybe, but the problem is he talks too long. If Jesse told a little shorter, I would trust him. I don't trust him. We will be up there for an hour.

Speaker 2:
[59:53] Let me tell you about my Ayahuasca journey before we...

Speaker 6:
[59:57] And this, I'm like, so I don't have time, but Jesse would be a good option, but no, not for my way.

Speaker 2:
[60:02] Well, Jasmine Goode, you are amazing. Thank you for being so open. The Valley, you guys, every week, obviously, on Wednesday nights. But remember that you watch the Valley After Show. I'm telling you, people don't realize how much dirt is spilled on there. It is a lot of dirt, and they're like 30 minute episodes. Anything else that we can support you with?

Speaker 6:
[60:21] No, that's it. Just follow me along for wedding content. All my socials, jasminegoode, underscore, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[60:27] Okay. Well, Jasmine, I hope you come on again someday, and I really appreciate your time today.

Speaker 6:
[60:32] Thank you, Ryan.

Speaker 2:
[60:33] Okay. That was Jasmine Goode. Thank you to Jasmine. Now, there might have been a couple cuts there that might have not made sense, maybe. I tried to make it as clean as possible, but there were a couple of things said that might have spoiled certain things in the season. So I wanted to make you, just in case it didn't sound clear, that's why. Also, in the time that I just spent editing that, that leak I was telling you about Summer House has spread like wildfire, man. I just opened up Instagram and everybody's posting it. I'm scared that people are posting it. We're not going to end up seeing the reunion. It's going to be like Taylor, Frankie, Paul's season of The Bachelorette. So, I don't know, man. That's a pretty intense leak and it seems like it is everywhere now. So, do what you want with that information. But yeah, it's out there. I don't want to talk about that too much. Anyway, so let's get on to season 3, episode 4 of The Valley. At this point, they should just set the valley in the Hampton so we can talk more about Summer House. No, this is called Mariposa Momma, which is obviously Kristen Doty. The cable description gives us, Danny and Nia continue to struggle with their newborn daughter refusing a bottle. As Kristen grapples with postpartum blues, her relationship with Luke is tested when their first date night out without Kaya turns into a disaster. This was a very, like I said, at the beginning of the show, it's a very weird, very real episode. We're being privy to aspects of Dodie and Nia's life right now that is just very real. I don't know if we've necessarily fully seen something like this on reality television, or at least maybe on Bravo. I'm probably mistaken, but it is an important conversation. I'm just, it's just something that you're not used to, in a sense. So it is important, but you feel, I don't know, there's a sadness that comes along with that, right? Which is also potentially important. I'm just curious where this season is headed, right? So the preview from like the, like, oh, this is what we've seen in the follow, the previous episodes. We had Brandon asking Brittany to be his girlfriend, and Britt's like, let's do it! Yeah!

Speaker 5:
[62:51] Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it!

Speaker 2:
[62:55] Also, it cracks me up. I was watching it again, and I swear to God, if you look into like the glass, you see a reflection of what looks to be to me, Katie Maloney, and once we found out on The Valley After Show that Katie Maloney was there at that restaurant that night, I need to know if that's true or not. Was that Katie Maloney in the reflection? I don't think anybody has noticed that. I'm probably just seeing things. So we also have those scenes where it's revealed that Doty has not had full sexual relationships with, I feel like I shouldn't even know these things with Luke. And Luke really wants to, Luke's very attracted to Kristen Doty, which is this kind of amazing thing, right? But it's like she's in control right now. She's in the driver's seat. She has the keys. You don't drive at this point. And I feel like that's an obvious thing because Kristen's sharing with us that her body and her mind, they're not back. They're not communicating with each other, which is not an abnormal thing. And you don't want Kristen Doty or anybody in the situation to feel like they're weird. They just they gave they put their body through major trauma. They gave birth to something beautiful that you both love. And you know, unfortunately, even if you're all horned up, you just have to be so satisfied with that. Now, this is not me and Rebecca's story, but it is one of those important reminders to be like, man, this person, this woman, put herself through a lot to be able to... Like Rebecca, I mean, jokingly always says, I just gave you the love of your life. I just gave you... But she's right. She's right. And I know this is, you know, I know this is juvenile, but like, go jack off, Luke. Just go jack off. Go... I'm sure Dodie would be like, Jack it off. Jack it up, man. Go Jack it up. Whatever you need to do. But do that. And eventually, you know, it will hopefully work itself out. But there's a lot of things happening. There's a lot of hormones that are racing through her body, right? We had Jasmine saying that LaLa wouldn't hang out with her. She knows that for a fact. If it wasn't for this, LaLa brought up that, I hear Jasmine flip flops. I hear she's a flip floper. And then Brandon was in the middle of the drama at the Santa Clarita Western party that Danny and Nia threw. And Brandon's like, What are you talking about? No, come on, everything's good. Everything's good. And then it was brought up that Luke said to Danny, Jason wants to meet up at a cigar bar. And would you be willing to do it? And Danny was like, I don't know. If he talked about you that way, I don't know if I would be so willing to be his friend. So that's it. We open up on Danny and Nia's house. You know, Nia's pumping. And Danny is just like, You could sell your breast milk. We could be rich. And I'm like, Oh, Danny already. That's not I just I get nervous when Danny says anything about a female body in regard because she's Nia's been pregnant for the last five years. Four under four. And I'm like, let's just not talk about anything in regards to Nia's body at this moment. But she says in the document, yeah, she's been breastfeeding for five years and her body needs a break. And Danny's like, I know you're stressed, babe, but I got something to help with the bottle feeding. Mr. Milker, world's number one male breastfeeding device. And I probably like you was like, no, no, no, no, no, please, please, Danny, please don't put on utters, please don't put on utters. I know you mean well. I know you're trying to do a good funny thing, but it potentially is not a good funny thing. And all of their four under four kids, including the babies right there, as Danny's strapping this device onto himself, and even worse than that, he puts Nia's headshot, tapes it on his face. I'm telling you, this is the shit that like, this is the stuff that leaves a mark on these kids. Like I have this faint recollection of daddy putting on utters and a headshot. Like this is the shit on datelines. Like this is the stuff where you're like, wait, what did this? Like this feels like it should be done in a basement. Like it's super eerie and creepy. The kids are watching. Everybody's freaked out. And even the kid Asher is like, she wants to be on mama's boob and rips the headshot. Thank God we ripped this Nia's headshot off of Danny's face. Baby's traumatized, I'm traumatized. And Danny's like, what? The party was popping, man. All right. And Nia's like, I did see you had some good talks with Luke. And Danny's like, he apparently met up with Jason. Jason said there are some things he wants to apologize to me about. And Nia's like, maybe or does? Does he maybe want to apologize or he does want to apologize? And Danny's like, I don't know, but they're getting together at a cigar lounge and Jason wants to talk to me there. And Nia's like, well, there could be a world in which it would be nice to coexist in the same place where it isn't awkward. And I don't want you to miss out on things with your other friends because of this. But it is interesting though, if you really think about this season, the four episodes that we're in, Jason and Janet, they seem to be the ones that, I don't want to say pushed out, but it really does seem to be a core of people that all are somewhat cool with each other, except for Jason and Janet. They're the ones on the outside. And I don't know if Nia recognizes this, but that's how it seems to be from my perspective, right? Danny and I are talking and it says, so much damage has been done. He doubled down. He was defending his wife. He called me a clown, a douchebag. It's just toxic. And I was like, bro, toxic. You just had utters on. But Danny says, an honest answer, I just, I don't know. I don't know, Nia. And then we cut to Schwartz and Jason, and they're this place on Santa Monica Boulevard called Hammer and Nails, which is like this male haircut place. Like you pay like a monthly, like I was a member of this in 2018 or 2019 pre-pandemic. And it was close to where I was living. And I think it was like a $65 membership fee a month. And you got like one haircut. It was a pretty good deal actually. And they would give you a drink. Like I had a Diet Coke, but they had like beers and like whiskey and things like that. And yeah, I haven't been back to that place since the pandemic. But there, and by the way, it's like these dudes both live in the valley. What are they doing at Hammer and Nails? Because that's over the hill on Santa Monica Boulevard. Anyways, we're also introduced to this lady that works the reception. And she talks a lot in this scene. And Schwartz is not being flirty, but he's like, hey, we're going out to a bar later. Maybe, you know, like, hey, I'll be there. But you don't really take it seriously. But I do want to point out the reason why I think this is somewhat staged and a little fake is because that girl is miked up. It's called having clean audio. And when you can hear somebody on television, it usually means they have a mic or that there's a boom mic, a mic operator is holding over their head. This lady is miked up. This lady is miked up. And so I feel like there's a little bit of tomfoolery going with the audience and that this is a little bit of a cutesy little fun thing. Like, wouldn't it be funny if that girl from Hammer and Nails showed up at the bar that Schwartz and Lala and Michelle were at at the very end? That would be crazy. And I hate that. I want to believe in the reality of the reality, right? Anyways, Schwartz says, Oh, Jason, I'm going to the Belmont. And like, I was like riffing with Michelle and Lala. Like, let's have a singles night. And Schwartz reminds us that he met Katie, his ex-wife at the Belmont. The Belmont is it's on La Cienega, you guys, and it's been there forever. Really good tater tots if my memory serves. And they used to do a karaoke night on Sunday nights. Sandoval would go to this, I have a video of Sandoval singing, what, like a Journey song? And Ariana singing a Britney song? Like they would all, all those Vanderpumpers would go to the Belmont. But Schwartz is gonna go back with Michelle and Lala. And Jason's like, whoa, you met your one wife there, maybe you'll meet your next wife there. It's like the wife store, where you go? Anyways, they're getting dual haircuts, very manly. Oh, they're not getting haircuts. They're getting mani-pedis. I don't think they were offering mani-pedis, but I don't think you'll be shocked to hear this. I enjoy a mani-pedi. I haven't had one in years, but I've enjoyed a mani-pedi in my day. Anyways, Jesse Lally joins them. Jesse in a talking head is like, let me tell you why I was late. I had to get tested for rabies from a doctor. And I was like, oh, my God, is that what's been wrong with Jesse for these last two seasons? He's had rabies for the last two years? No, it turns out, you guys, that this Jesse, he's a softie. He loves to play with little squirrels, little woodland creatures. And I guess, Jesse, there's a squirrel by his place and he was feeding this squirrel organic almonds from Whole Foods, who is eating better than us. And I guess it's a bougie squirrel, he says. And we see a video of this cute little squirrel, and which is potentially the most exciting cast member of this season on The Valley. And Jesse's like, he hugged my nails and then went in for the bite. And he got scared he was going to have rabies, right? So he went to the doctor to, it turns out he's good. He does not have rabies. And then Schwartz is like, oh, by the way, I'm going to a singles night with your ex-wife and Lala. Yeah. And Jesse's like, I thought you and Michelle had a thing together already. And Schwartz is like, I would never do that to you unless like it was true love like West and Amanda. And then he goes, I would never shoplift the pootie. And I was like, where have I heard that shoplift the pootie? Where have I heard that? And then Schwartz in a talking head says it's a movie reference from the Tom Cruise movie Jerry Maguire. And I was like, oh, my God, you're right. And it just just was like this sad reminder of how old we all are getting, because like I've seen Jerry Maguire a thousand times yet. I forgot shoplift the pootie. And then there's Schwartz out there just just still nobly keeping that phrase alive shoplift the pootie. But I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? But anyways, Jesse's like, if it was you, I would be happy if you were with Michelle. And Schwartz is like, are you serious, man? I notice you guys have been more copacetic. And Jesse's like, dude, we are strictly Isabella right now. We're good. We're co-parenting. And then he's like, I guess she was telling Jasmine and Kristen that my friendship with them is like a fake friendship and I'm a showman. And Jason's like, yeah, but how are you and Lacey? Which I'm so pissed we didn't see Lacey this episode, right? And they've been going out like a year and a half. And Jason's like, I have to admit, you know, the situation where, you know, Janet got involved and asked me to block Lacey. Those are just like small petty things. And I forgot about that. I do a flashback where, you know, the women last season were talking about how Lacey allegedly threatened them with legal issues if they talked about her, right? But Jesse and I are talking and it says, I get along with Jason, but I'm still pissed at Janet for now. The way she treated Lacey last year. Yeah, there are some unresolved issues with Janet and Lacey. And they're going to have to have a conversation and figure it out. I'm like, let's have the conversation now in this episode. I need this episode to be good. Come on, man. So Jesse's like, so you're speed dating? And Schwartz is like, no, no, we're just going to the Belmont. And Jesse's like, oh, like it's just single people going out together. In a talking ad, Jason says Schwartz and Michelle ended up dating. That's so much fuel for make. Oh no, Jesse says, if Schwartz and Michelle ended up dating, that would be so much fuel for me to make them feel uncomfortable at all times. I feel at this point, I am pushing them into dating, which I kind of like that Jesse's honest about that. You know, it's like that thing of like, yeah, man, you should date. So I can I can I can hold it over your damn heads for the rest of our lives. Right. Then we cut to Lala and Michelle. And guess where they're at? Kyle Chan's jewelry store. You guys remember Kyle Chan? He's besties with Tom Sandoval. And Kyle Chan had a really interesting place in the Scandival of it all because Raquel, remember Joe Schwartz's friend and Raquel and Sandoval, they all had this kind of double date hangout at Kyle, Kyle Chan's place. And so Kyle knew everything that was going on. But all is forgiven because Kyle Chan runs a jewelry store. Anyways, Michelle is taking the ring that Jessie had given her. And she wants to make a necklace out of it like Lala has, I think a necklace out of her engagement ring, right? But she says, last year, you're a disaster, Jessie. She goes, last year when I hated Jessie and nearly not paying my bills, I almost sold it, but then I didn't and I thought I would regret it. And then I saw Lala's necklace and I was like, let's do that and give it to Isabella. Come on, mom, give me that necklace. It's me, Isabella. But anyways, Kyle Chan suggests setting it horizontally so it doesn't remind her of Jessie. And Michelle says, I just picked it up at the bank and I had a flashback of the day that he proposed to me. And she says, like, it was such a beautiful time in my life. And I did like this out of Michelle. I thought that's such an important thing to remind ourselves even in failed relationships. There are these beautiful moments. Sometimes after your anger subsides, and it might take decades, but after your anger subsides, you can start seeing those beautiful times a little clearer. Doesn't make you want to go back, but that you can remind yourself that it wasn't just all bullshit, which I thought that was good of her, right? I like Samantha Bush, Bravo historian, where she's like, I will always root for them to get back together. I'm like, God, I agree with you so much, but I am just so, no, no, no. What are you talking about? Anyway, she lets us know that Jessie took her on a birthday trip to Paris, surprised her, had no idea there was like a secret photographer who was hiding. He had this amazing speech. It was like such a beautiful trip. And Michelle's like, I hated him last year. I hated him. Also, I want to point out Lala in this scene is wearing a hat that says average on us. It says average. You know, she's wearing a baseball hat, this is average. And I want to let everybody know, I'm not taking the bait. Lala is baiting the audience. She wants us to be like, oh, average. You're average, Lala. You're totally average. You don't belong on the valley, but we're not going to take that bait. I know what you're doing, but we're not going to. I'm just going to say nice hat, very cool hat. I like it. Didn't really notice it. I like it. But Michelle says after her mom passed, she let go of all of the anger from Jessie. And we had a lot of good times. And Lala goes, yeah, it's weird how you can hate the person you used to love so madly that you even made a child with. And Michelle's like, I just want to be divorced this year. That is my goal. That's my one goal. And then we cut to a lunch scene with Jasmine, Brittany and Dodie. And Britt enters the scene. She's like, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Food night. Food night. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Hungry. Dude, my Brittany is getting worse and worse and worse. It's getting lower because you used to be date night. I'm Brittany. Now it's like, they don't want, they don't want. I don't know what's happening, man. I think my testicles dropped or something. So Brittany's like, I'm hungry. And Dodie orders an extra dirty Tito's martini. By the way, this is how you know the show's like potentially desperate for material. We get to hear their whole order. Brittany ordered an Arnold Palmer. Jasmine ordered a Cabernet. Britt ordered a Filet. And I was like, huh, Brittany just ordered a Filet from the last episode on the date with Brandon. Like, why am I knowing so much about what they eat? Dodie orders a salad. Jasmine orders a pasta. And I just wrote, Jesus. And then Britt turns to Dodie and goes, what can I do to cheer you up? Because she can sense something is wrong. And Dodie's like, I'll be all right. And Britt's like, well, you look beautiful. Brittany's got to be that kind of good friend, even if you don't trust her judgment and who she dates, where she'll say those things of like, she just wants you to make you feel good and make you feel pretty. Right. And we're reminded that Dodie's only three months out from this. And they remind Dodie she's only three months out. And Dodie's like, it doesn't change how I feel. And that's it. When it's hormonal like that, it doesn't change. Yes, logically, that makes sense. It doesn't mean anything. If your body and your mind, they're telling you one thing, it's just, it's hard. And Dodie starts crying and says she has to go to the bathroom and she doesn't want anyone to come. In the talking head, Dodie says, I know I created this beautiful child with a beating heart and a beautiful brain, but I just feel like I'm this weird new Christian in someone else's body. And like, listen, a lot of you women out there have gone through this. You know, a lot of people, a lot of moms out there that listen to this show, I'll never go through this. I don't know what this feels like. But you know, those words, that makes a lot of sense. Like, think about that, feeling like a stranger in your own body. That's gonna drive you crazy, because you don't know how to get back, right? And that's why I think that scene, when we talk about it, it's like an important scene to talk about. Anyways, the girls feel bad about this. She comes back and Jasmine's like, you look amazing, drink the pain away. And Jasmine's like, you know, hanging out with us and your girls, you know, like, maybe that'll make you more comfortable. And Dodie's like, I texted Luke when I got here, and I just texted him, I'm not leaving the house ever again. And Jasmine's like, we are here for you. If you need to feel a little better, we are here. And then Dodie's like, well, what about you and, what about you and Brandon? And Brittany's like, well, oh no, what about you and Lala? Dodie asks Jasmine, what about you and Lala? And Brittany goes, oh my God, Brandon, my new boyfriend Brandon is the one that told her, Brandon, and Jasmine's like, he's just weird. And Brittany's like, oh my gosh, it shouldn't have happened, you know, Brandon is just, you being the gossiper I told him, I feel like I'm the drama now, I'm with the drama. And Jasmine's like, he is a messy person, was he trying to be messy? And Brittany's like, no, he is not, come on, he asked me to be his girlfriend, but sir, date night. And they're like, what? They're both like, what? And Brittany's like, yeah, he did it at dinner the night before Neil's party. I said, yes, I said, yes, yes, yes, sir. And Jasmine's like, no, Brittany, Jasmine and her talking dad says, messy as hell. The dude lives five hours away. He has a couple baby mamas. He's like, she's like, it's too much. And Jasmine goes, pop the puss, but let's not pop labels. That's right. Pop the puss, but let's not pop labels. If you're going to take anything into the weekend, I want it to be that. Pop the puss, not pop labels. No, pop the puss, not, yeah, pop the puss, but don't pop labels. And Brittany's like, come on, just be happy for me. Be happy for me. And then we cut to the men at the cigar lounge. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Every time I pause and open my DMs, they're flooded because everybody has that leaked audio now. Yes, Amanda is a snake. It's horrifying. Yes, I'll talk more about it specifically probably on Monday, or maybe on the Beverly Hills recap over the weekend. Okay, anyways, back to The Valley. We're at this cigar lounge with these doofy dudes. Luke walks up. We got Jason there. We got Jesse in a Panama Jack hat. Of course, Jesse probably has a very specific Panama Jack hat he wears just for cigar bars. Jason's like, I feel like a reverse Bill Clinton in regards to cigars. He's like, I have trouble inhaling. Now, my mind, we're about to bring up because he realizes it sounds horrible because cigars and Bill Clinton have a double meaning. Jason meant it as, I have trouble inhaling because Bill Clinton once said in an MTV interview, I think, did you ever smoke weed? He's like, I tried to. I did try to, but I never inhaled. I did not inhale. It's one of the many times presidents has lied to us. I didn't inhale everybody. Come on. But also Monica Lewinsky, there was something completely that we shouldn't have found out about regarding the cigar and poor Monica, not poor Monica Lewinsky. She's an amazing woman and has this fantastic career right now. But my god, she got put through the wringer, right? Anyways, Danny's not there. And even Schwartz is there, which by the way, where's Zach? Zach wasn't included on Geist night. But they don't know if Danny's going to show up. And then Danny comes in and he's like, hey, hey, hey, how are we feeling? And he's wearing the utters. No, he's not wearing the utters. Hey, hey, how are we feeling? He has that big Danny energy, right? And Danny fist pumps Jason, kind of like, hey, just tentative, a tentative fist bump. And then in a talking to Danny says, let's see what Janet has to say. He goes, I mean, Jason. Boom. And then Jesse brought a bottle of scotch, a little Highland scotchie. I got this from Isabella. And then Schwartz is like, that's like the adult version of Oreos and milk. And they're like, Danny, are you going to have a drink? And Danny's like, no, I'm just going to stick to the Pellegrino. Danny can't have drinks around Jason because that's part of it, right? That's part of Dark Side Danny. And Danny says, I'd have some scotch, but I don't want to be labeled at this table. So we're getting into it immediately. And Jason's like, listen, I'm coming with flowers tonight. I'd like to say I'm sorry. I regret how I handled things emotionally. And Jessie's like, where did that come from? And Jason's like, listen, I got emotional. I regret that I was standing up for my wife. And Danny's like, I'm not here to be friends with you, to be honest. And Jason's like, I'm in the same boat, to be honest with you. And I'm like, oh, this isn't good. This isn't good. Because reality television, we always talk about that then conflict resolution. But even more than that, what they're trying to do is just being able to exist in the same environment, right? That's what this seems to be a debate about. Can we exist in the same environment? So it's already not looking good from both of them. Luke and a talking head's like, what is happening here? These people are on two separate pages. Danny's still so hurt. He's probably not even in a place to accept an apology. Luke says in the scene, he goes, the main apology has to be for the vernacular used in the boat in Hawaii. We flash back to last year, and I forgot about the actual verbiage. Because the verbiage was that Janet said that Danny sexually assaulted Jasmine and Michelle. I forgot how strong of a wording. Jasmine, you just heard on the show, her and Danny are in a way better place, but the sexual assault, like Janet was clinging to, by definition, it works. But still, you're saying that on a national program, those words, that attaches to you. And that's very intense verbiage, right? And Luke says, that hasn't been backed up or apologized for. And Jason's like, I did tell Janet that I didn't agree with the use of that kind of word, and she feels the same way. And Danny's like, dude, the damage was so deep. And then Jesse's like, it was inexcusable, but you can't take him serious because he's in that Panama Jack hat with a cigar, right? And Danny's like, these bridges are burned. And this guy over here is rolling his eyes. He's talking about Jason. And Jason's like, I'm rolling my eyes at the excusability. Danny in the talking head goes, I did nothing to them. They took someone else's situation, they weaponized it and just bulldozed it over and over. You know, that word is a weaponized word, sexual assault, as it should be. You have to take that word very seriously when you hear it. But Jason's like, if you get drunk and do something weird, man, and terrible, it's gonna make the other women in a group feel weird too. And Danny's like, what did I do to make your wife feel weird? And then Jason's like, the pantry. And I forgot about the pantry scene last season too, where Danny went into that pantry, pantry Danny and like slugged the tequila, right? And we have a flashback of that. And Danny's like, guess what? I apologize for that. And Luke says, I love you. Can we all just have a great time together? Can we just tolerate each other? And this is like, I'm, you know, I'm kind of the Luke. I just want everybody to get along, even though as you get older, you realize that's just impossible. Everybody doesn't, unfortunately, get along. And it's foolish of us to think that we can. But they're all like, it's a start. It's a start. Jesse's like, we can get there, man. Professor Positive Jesse, we can get there. And he's like, time will tell, I guess. And then Jesse's like, time heals all wounds. So we don't know. That's where we leave that scene, right? We cut to immediately the music's like, I'm finally feeling good. I'm finally... The Valley music is so insane, you guys. We cut to Zack and Benji in a sex shop for some reason. Nothing happens there. Just a quick scene. Just a quick, quick them in a sex shop. Then we cut to Lala in her house getting glammed with her baby right there. Her baby, very cute. We cut to Kristen and Luke's. Luke's in the garage and Danny walks up. And I like Danny's like, there he is, man. There he is. The garage is looking better, man. And Luke's like, listen, dude, I love you. The other night, I was being a moderator. I'm going to try to be more loyal to you. And Danny says, I know, I know. When I get hurt, I really get hurt. And that ship has sailed, man. I don't need that in my life in regards to Jason. And then Danny's like, how's your life, man? And Luke's like, well, Kristen told me this weekend, stay out, you know, as long as you want. So I went to Taco Bell with Jeff. Rebecca and I were watching it. I was like, wait, what? You went to, I think he went out drinking first and then went to Taco Bell. And also I was like, who's Jeff? Like I got to the point, I was like, Rebecca, did we just miss the whole character? Who's this Jeff? Who did Luke go to, who's this Jeff that he went to Taco Bell with? But Luke says, I, you know, it's like, Kristen said, I just want you to come, like come, like sleep in the bed and help me in the morning and don't be like hung over. And he goes, I fucked up. I fell asleep on the couch. I feel isolated. I don't get a fish anymore. You know, and a couple of times I've, I've come, you know, a couple of times I have gone out, I've come back and I've been guilted like I'm a bad father or I'm not there for her because I took time for myself and it makes me feel worse, even like more worse if I hadn't even gone and done it in the first place. This is tough, right? So he's really opening up, which we encourage men to do. We do encourage men to open up. But at the same time, it's that it's, you know, Christian went through IVF. Christian, you know, like there's a lot of things, like there's a lot of things here, you know, and it's like if she asked you these two things and you didn't do the, you didn't do the two things she asked, then it's all for not like you got to do those two things. It is kind of a bad f**k up even though it's minor in the whole scope of things. That's a bad thing. But Danny's like, hey man, you're not the only one going through this. Nia knows that, man. But he's like, Nia knows I have to get up early and get a workout in in the morning to get my mind right. If not, my fuse is shorter. And sometimes if we're not good after that, we go to therapy. Also, I was like, Danny, what are you like a 24-hour fitness in Santa Clarita? Please tell me you have a home gym. I mean, you got four kids, you're getting like, please tell me you have a home gym and you're not like getting up and like, got to go to the gym and then come back and shower and then I don't know, whatever. Luke in a talking head says, I don't feel Kristen appreciates the sacrifices I made to get out, to get out here, to start a family. And if she respected me, she would let me do the things to make me feel me. And it's getting pretty hard. So it's right now, man. It's a new life. And you're finding your new normal. And I will say this, this is what's been so knock on wood. So great is that Rebecca is not that I want to bring us into it too much, but she knows I come in and do this and this podcast helps me feel me, right? I have this and we've been really great. I mean, dude, we're only a month in a weekend. This could all, it's probably going to get crazier. Like this, to me, amped up in the last week even. But we've been really great at communicating so far. We've been really great at giving each other time. Like I had to go do something today and then she went and had a nice meal with her friend later. And it's like, yeah, that's like this kind of cool communication. And we're with together, like I'm so lucky I get to do this here at home. And we're with together, we're with each other so much. And it's great. It feels like we're going through this together. But even through all that, I realize I am not in the same boat as her at all. I didn't do this physically. I did not do this physically. I'm not dealing with the hormones that she is dealing with. I'm not dealing with any of that. And I recognize that. Me being tired is that's just tired. Like she's gone through something completely different. And there's no way that I would ever try to not even compete with that. I just don't feel like that. It's just like, holy shit. I can't believe what you've done. Anyways, we cut to the Belmont then. And Michelle lets us know she's bringing her friend Natalie, her really good friend Natalie. And I guess this girl, Natalie, like she showed him Schwartz's IG and Natalie said he's cute. Yeah. Also, like I love that we act like we don't know who Schwartz is. It's like, oh, that's the guy from Vanderpump Rules. Anyways, Lala shows up. I love that in the background, sitting at the bar, there's this guy in like Lakers gear, and he seems real amused at the scene being filmed. Look at him in the back if you watch it. He's just like, what's going on, man? There's a scene being filmed. Crazy. Natalie, Michelle's friend, has like kind of a high pitch.

Speaker 4:
[93:09] I like a high pitch.

Speaker 2:
[93:11] I can't do her voice, but it's a little high pitch. It's very cute. But Michelle says they met when their kids were two and they both left their husbands at the same time. And now they're both single. And Michelle wants her friend Natalie to hook up with Tom. Sounds like a good friend. Lala says, Hey, there's four single people here tonight and three of us are going to tag team you Schwartz because I'm Lala. I'm hypersexual. Schwartz, by the way, has like a cigarette like just behind his ear the whole time. They talk about like have they gone on dating apps. Talk about Jesse. Jesse swiped on Michelle on a dating app. She didn't swipe on him. They met at work. And the reason that she didn't swipe on him because his profile had a bunch of douchey real estate photos. And we see some of the photos. It's great. Lala says she is fond of sliding into DMs. Fond. I'm Lala. And then she's like, I'm not Sheena Shea. You won't, I won't be giving you the laundry list of people I've hooked up with. I'm not doing that. How to get that Sheena digging, didn't you Lala? But Lala says she always does a chef's kiss emoji. Like the chef's hand, you know. So Lala's in there sliding in the guy's DMs with a chef's kiss emoji hand. That's cringey and not a good cringe. I just wrote, ugh, ugh. Schwartz is in the talking heads like, Natalie, I kind of see it, man, because Natalie's like a beautiful girl, right? But Schwartz is like, he's like, I like your voice. You should do voiceovers. Oh my god, am I flirting?

Speaker 4:
[94:41] Oh, so dorky.

Speaker 2:
[94:44] But you know, it's like Schwartz. He's like cute. And I like I can't tell how much of that is Schwartz playing into that or how much of that is just natural. But he does like everybody says the same thing. If you meet Schwartz, you're going to be like, oh, he has like this really cute charm. It is like this puppy dog. Anyways, they go out to smoke Schwartz and Natalie. Michelle is talking to Lala and is like, you know, I don't want to hook up with Schwartz at all. I see him as a kid. I see him as a complete kid. And he's the opposite of what I'm looking for. You know, he's so innocent and he's weird. She's like, I'm looking for a more well-rounded in general. And then we go outside, Schwartz is talking to Natalie. Schwartz is like, you sound like an oracle, Natalie. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a pickup line, but it's not. And then we come back to Lala and go, see, Natalie and Schwartz make sense to me. So this is like, this is what I say, like the scene upon watching it a second time was a little funnier for me, but at first it just read as so fake of like Lala, all of these like, let's make a scene happen. We're doing this scene where, you know, I don't know. Anyways, we cut back to Schwartz outside and Schwartz blazed this line on Natalie. He goes, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a present. So that's why we call it a gift. And I was like, shit Schwartz, I'm going to sleep with you now. I was like, that's a great line. And Natalie goes, I think you have ADHD. I think you have ADHD. And then the hammer and nails reception is from that mani-pedi place. She rolls up, you guys. Once again, she's miked up. You hear her audio perfectly. And Lala in her talking head is like, who's this girl fucking up the vibe? Which is what a lot of people said about Lala coming into this season of The Valley. L-O-L. And Michelle in her talking head is like, don't kill the vibe, girlfriend. Keep walking. You're a disaster. And Lala is like, what? What in the fuck? This girl has Shih Tzu hair. But I've been there and we flash back to Vanderpump Rules when Doty said that Lala was like a drunk ass skank with Shih Tzu hair. It was like, God, Vanderpump Rules. It was true art. It was true art. Michelle tells her friend like, you should kiss Schwartz. If you want to kiss somebody, you should kiss Schwartz. And like, you know, it's like, he could be a good kisser, right? And Natalie might be into it, but Michelle's really pushing her into it. And Michelle's like, look at him. I would kiss him. He's like a little puppy. And then Michelle is trying to convince Schwartz to kiss her. It's like, dude, you got to kiss her tonight. You know, it's like, you got to kiss her. And he's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God, that would be crazy. And she's like, you're such a pussy, dude. You will enjoy it. And Schwartz is like realizing the hammer and nails girl is there. He goes back outside with Natalie for another cigarette. And then he tells Natalie, he goes, I've had sex that lasts like two to three hours. Like, you know, but that's not fun. No one wants that. Like how? I will even say that did make me laugh. I'm like, Schwartz is dropping things of like, you don't want long sex. You want like two pumps and it's done. And the talking head Lala goes, if Schwartz isn't going to take Natalie home, maybe I will. Good Lala. By the way, do something for the show because that would be amazing. Please, please Lala, step up to the plate. Do it. Please do it. Anyways, Schwartz is like, I don't know, I was supposed to go. I own a bar. I was not for, are you sure about that? I own a bar and we were going to go there after that, but like I'm kind of tired. And Natalie is like, no, come on Tom, don't be tired. Let's go. Let's go. And inside, they're saying like, oh my God, he's got to kiss the girl. And the hammer and nails receptionist goes, little mermaid. And they're all talking about how this girl is ignoring all the signs to get the fuck out of there. So outside, Schwarz is like, I met my first wife here, but that's in the past. And then he goes, don't even try. I'm an alien. Tells Natalie that he's an alien. Schwarz in a talking head talks about, I think he's mentioning he's like crushing on a girl right now. He's starting to get that warm fuzzy feeling, which by the way, we saw Schwarz's current girlfriend on Watch What Happens Live the other night. She's very beautiful, very young, but they've been dating for seven months. And I guess she's going to be on this show coming up soon, right? Lala says that Schwarz is intimidated, doesn't know what to do with all that ass that Natalie has. Okay, we got to Luke and Kristen's and Brittany comes over. And Brittany's like, you guys ready for date night? Date night. And she even, I love that Brittany's even caught on that we all make fun of her saying date night, because Brittany's like, date night, date night. And Dodie's like, date night, date night, date night, date night. I wish I could make my phone ring like date night, date night, date night, date night. Anyways, Brittany's coming over to Babysit Kaia. Zach and Schwarz are coming over to Babysit Kaia as well. Very cute Dodie's like, Zach, do you know how to clean a baby vagina? And I'm going to tell you, this is all triggering for me, not cleaning a baby's vagina, but just talking about all this stuff. I had hearing Kaia cry. I was taking notes while Kaia cried, and I almost thought it was Romy. I was like, oh my God, did Romy just cry? And she's like, no, no, that's, that's, that's, that's Brittany's, that's Dodie's, that's Kaia. And I was like, oh, okay. But it's like, I was like, this is our life right now, right? And Dodie letting Zach know, you have to clean your butthole like you would clean your own before a date. And I was like, that's, that's actually a good line of dialogue. Zach had given Dodie four hours babysitting gift certificate when they were born, which is very cute. Britt's going to actually do the babysitting and also babysit Zach and Schwartz as well. It's 7:56 PM and they are at the Foxfire Lounge. I believe it's on Magnolia Boulevard. Magnolia or Moorpark? It's in the valley. It's a really cool bar, old school bar, you guys. And in fact, a fun fact, this Foxfire Lounge, they shot a couple of bar scenes in one of my favorite films, Magnolia, directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. They shot a couple of the bar scenes in the Foxfire Lounge. A little bit of movie trivia there. Dodie in the talking head says, motherhood has, you know, it's been ups and downs, good days and bad days, but date night is important to Luke and I want to be a mariposa. And we flash back to Vanderpump Rules and she's like, soy una mariposa. Do you remember that Dodie? It's so good. It's very cute. It's 8, 11 p.m. They've been there since 7.56. Luke is playing some darts and Dodie's like, can we spy on them on the video camera at home? And Luke's like, of course we can. And they, you know, they spy on Britt and Zack and like they use a little voice thing. They're like, we're watching you guys. It's cute. Dodie seems very happy. And I will say babies are cute, man. Babies really are cute. And I'm so excited to finish this so I can go look at my baby some more. Zack says, if I could choose a well behaved baby like this, it would like make it very easy. And Zack reveals that he had colic for five months and his mom was going to kill him. I think Zack might still have colic. Who knows? I used to have this, if you've listened for like years and years of Vanderpump Rules, I would write fan fiction and one of my fan fictions was like after a season of Vanderpump Rules, I thought it would be great if it was left on a cliffhanger and a baby in a basket was like left at the front of Sir. And it's like, it's one of like one of the people's Jacks is hooked up with and he's like, sorry, I can't take care of this baby, he's yours now. And then it becomes like that movie, Three Men and a Baby. If anybody remembers that movie from the 80s and it's like Schwartz, Sandoval and Jacks had to raise a baby. I kicked this can down the road. I spent way too much time with that idea. Anyways, Luke's like, pizza and darts, isn't that your dream, Christian? And Christian's like, yeah, it's better than going to a fancy restaurant and having to put on clothes. I don't want to put on clothes right now. And he's like, well, you want to put on enough so that I don't try to hook up with you. And she says, I don't want to feel fat. I just want to be comfortable. And Luke, I want to have fun with you. But she goes, I am fucking mad at you. And he goes, I feel like you're mad at me a lot. And she goes, I get frustrated. I make promises and it always revolves going out, coming in late. And it's like, I just said simple things. Don't sleep on the couch and help me with the baby in the morning. And she goes, I haven't brought it up until now, but I don't want to argue in front of Kaia, which is so interesting. Because it's like, they don't really have a lot of time to themselves. But they also, you know, Dodie's like, I want to have a real conversation, but not in front of Kaia. So we're actually going to do it on our date night. But Luke's like, I feel like, no, Dodie says, I feel like you don't respect me sometimes. And you go, Luke says, I feel the same way. You don't respect or care how I feel. And Dodie just stares at him and she's wearing glasses. And I wrote, I was like, this is a reality star right here. Whatever I said about the season being, when you see scenes like this, I was like, I was like, I was like in it. I was like, Dodie just shooting him that look. It was so real. And Luke's like, Oh, Dodie, Kristen, you were like, Oh, your life's so hard, Luke, and you went in on me. And Dodie goes, Okay, let's talk about it. And she whips off the glasses. She whips off the scene eyeglasses. And Luke's like, one night I went out, you know, and it wasn't, it wasn't cool. But like I'm having a hard time being a first time dad. And Dodie's like, I know that. And he's like, I'm not allowed to have a hard time. It's only allowed to be hard for you. And I'm like, Luke, don't, don't, don't do, don't, Dodie in the talking head goes, everything, like everything about me feeling safe is out the window. You want to try to trump me? You want to try to one up me? Give me a break. Luke goes, Kristen, you have empathy for other people, but not me. I have to walk on eggshells most of the time. This is not where I want to be. In a talking head, he says, he says, I'm 2000 miles away from my family and three time zones away. I feel isolated. I feel lonely. And he's like, I know it's been harder for you in a talking head. He goes, I know she loves me. I know she does. But the last year has been really difficult. And Dodie says, you complained about my pregnancy the whole entire time. I thought you were going to leave, Luke. And he goes, really? And she goes, yeah, during the first trimester. And Dodie's like, there was one specific day things weren't really working out. And she says, all these mini moments were making me have a meltdown, Luke. And Luke said, I can't do this anymore. And my brain went to this dark spot. You can't do this life with me. You can't do this baby. You can't do this engagement with me. Holy shit, my world's falling apart. Dodie tells him in the scene, I'm doing the best I can. And Luke's like, I love you and I'm not leaving you and I never am. And I hate that you thought I was leaving. I want us to go to counseling with a third party so we can have a more productive way of communicating. And that was so real though. We just remember she's pumping herself full of hormones, she gets pregnant, she's dealing with something. This is so intense. Rebecca had some really intense moments. Nothing probably got to any point of what they're talking about, like I can't do this. But they were like, I mean, just imagine never feeling like this and all of a sudden having all of these hormones going through your body. I love that I'm explaining to a bunch of people that have probably done this, but like it's got to be so scary. It's got to be, and like, you got to be a rock. And that's hard because we live in a society that promotes us doing things for ourselves. I don't know. So this was like a very real conversation. But Dodie says, I agree in regards to the therapy. And he goes, I love you, I really do. And then Dodie kind of takes her jacket and just goes outside and leaves and leaves Luke behind. And I wrote, yikes. And then, and then Luke to the darpoids, like, guess the game's over. All right. And I'm like, oh my God, they have to walk out and like D Mike. They have to like check in with the crew. And I'm like, this is so dark. And that's where we end the episode. Next time on The Valley, we see Chris and Dodie get a Brazilian wax. And Zach walks in and says, oh my God, full flaps, flapjacks. I'm seeing flapjacks. And then there's a pool party at Brits. Pool party, pool party. And they're all like, Schwartz and Michelle kiss, kiss, kiss. And we see them do a little kiss. Nia and Michelle have some sort of conversation about how she's still not divorced yet. And then Lala says something about there's a hive mentality. And then we see Janet finally after two episodes and Janet's crying saying, I'm afraid I'm going to lose you guys over this shit. So Janet really feeling like she is on the full outs. That is it folks. What a long episode today, but we had a lot to cover. I hope you enjoyed all of it or at least some of it, or at least a tiny little part of it. Have the best start to your weekend. We'll be doing the Beverly Hills over the weekend, all that crap and we'll be over on Patreon as well. Too much me, but I hope you like it because it's keeping me sane. Have a great Friday folks. Bye.