transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] What if I could teach you how to trust yourself so much that when you made a decision or you made a promise to yourself, you knew with 99% certainty that it was going to happen, that every time you set out to make a change or adapt a new habit or complete something, you knew it was as good as done because you trusted your own word. That's what I'm going to teach you in today's episode. So thanks for joining me. This is Better Than Happy, episode 562, the path to self-trust that nobody talks about. Welcome to Better Than Happy, the podcast where we transform our lives by transforming ourselves. My name is Jody Moore. In the decade plus, I've been working with clients as a master certified coach. I've helped tens of thousands of people to become empowered. And from empowered, the things that seemed hard become trivial, and the things that seemed impossible become available. And suddenly a whole new world of desire and possibility open up to you. And what do you do with that? Well, that's the question. What will you do? Let's find out. Sometimes listening to a podcast is enough, but sometimes you'll feel inspired to go deeper. If you hear things that speak to you in today's episode, consider it your invitation to a complementary coaching workshop. On this live interactive Zoom call with me, you'll get a taste of the power of this work when applied in real life. You can participate or be a silent observer, but you have to take a step if you want to truly see change in your life. Two steps, actually. Head to jodymore.com/freecoaching and register. Then you just have to show up. Your best life is waiting for you. Will you show up for it? jodymore.com/freecoaching. I'll see you there. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I have a great topic. I'm very excited. This has been running around in my head, all kinds of thoughts that I wanted to share with you. Mostly as I've noticed how much my own self-trust has increased in recent years and especially in just the last three months. And it's because of one simple thing that I've done that I'm going to break down for you into steps. We're going to make it very practical, very actionable so that by the end of this episode, if you go execute the things I'm going to teach you, you will increase your self-trust in an amazingly short amount of time. Now, before we get into it, I want to make sure that you know about sales school, because I love helping coaches who want to get more clients. I want you to make the impact you want to make in the world, and that means you have to learn how to sell. And if you hear the word sales and it gives you the creeps, that's because you don't understand what selling actually could look like and should look like, in my opinion. If you don't want to be one of those high pressure bro-marketers who says things like, do you need to get your husband to come to the call in order to make a decision today, or forces people into a yes or no, or uses sleazy tactics and is less than honest? Good. I don't want you to do that stuff either. I'm going to teach you how to get very high conversions, lots of clients, and not do any of those creepy salesy things. I should have called this sell like a girl, because I feel like that's what I'm really good at teaching. Again, you don't have to be a girl to benefit from it. We want to sell from feminine energy, from service, and from giving, and still get results. So that's what I'm teaching at sales school. Come to Jody moore.com/sales to learn all about it. It's an in-person event in San Diego happening in June, and we'd love to have you join us if there are seats left. Go and check it out at Jody moore.com/sales. Okay, now we're going to talk about self-trust today, and I want to begin by talking about why most people have little to no trust in themselves and why it makes perfect sense that they wouldn't. So if you feel like when you tell yourself, all right, that's it, I'm going to start going to the gym three days a week, or I'm going to post on Instagram every day, or I'm not going to yell at my kids anymore, or whatever it is that you tell yourself you're going to do. If there's a little voice in your head that is like, mm, maybe, but I'll believe it when I see it. Some of you are in that boat, and some of you are in the camp where you don't even make promises like that to yourself anymore, because you're so sure you're not going to meet them, and you're so sick of being disappointed that you only feel bad in the end. And so you've stopped trying to make your life better. You've stopped trying to do the things that you want to do, and you've just decided, I guess this is just who I am. I guess I'm just kind of a mess. Maybe you've done that in most areas of your life, or maybe you've just done it in one specific area, and you've kind of given up. All of this is a version of a lack of self-trust. And the reason it exists is because most of us go the majority of our lives over-promising and under-delivering. Okay, we over-promise and under-deliver. We tell ourselves things like, that's it, I'm never eating sugar again, I'm done with sugar. If you're like me and you have had a sweet tooth most of your life and you've eaten a lot of sugar, then to say, I'm never eating sugar again is a bit of an over-promise, we might say. I'm not saying it's impossible. I know some of you have done it. You don't have to email me and tell me. I think that's fantastic. I know it's possible. I'm just saying for most of us trying to take a leap from where we are to someplace very extreme is an over-promise. And after we over-promise, we under-deliver. We drop the ball. Maybe we make it for a day or a week or even a month, which is impressive. But then at some point, we revert back to our own ways, right? And so we basically have just lied to ourselves. If I lie to you, if I tell you I'm going to show up every Friday morning and meet you for a walk, and I don't do it consistently, and I don't call you and explain why or have a conversation where I change the expectation, then at some point, you would stop trusting me, right? You know people like this in your life that constantly tell you that they're gonna be somewhere or that they're gonna, whatever, they're gonna show up on time, they're gonna bring something, they're gonna do whatever they tell you they're gonna do, and you just know they're not going to. How do you know that? Because they've proven in the past that they tend to not follow through on their word. So you don't trust that person. Maybe you have someone in your life that is a chronic liar, that just tells lots of stories, lots of lies, lots of fibs. At some point, you don't trust that person because you've learned they have a habit, a pattern, a behavior of lying. So if we've done that to ourselves over and over again, it makes sense that we don't really trust ourselves. Okay, now the second reason we don't trust ourselves is because none of us are 100% honest. That's just the reality. If we were 100% honest, it would actually not be very socially acceptable or nice. It would be quite mean, right? I want you to imagine a world where everybody walked around being 100% honest. All of the judgment that we have, we just said it out loud, right? If we didn't try to balance honesty with kindness, it would make for a lot of hurt feelings and not an ideal world. So we are sometimes less than honest in the name of being kind. Sometimes we are dishonest in a way that we don't want to be, but none of us are perfect at it. And there's a continuum, of course, and that is a whole nother podcast for a whole nother episode. But my point is, every time you lie, you know it, right? You know what's true and you know what you're actually saying or actually doing or what you really mean. And so you are just aware of the disconnect between what you say and what's actually true at times. So again, it makes sense that we have eroded trust with ourselves because of sometimes what is actually appropriate human behavior and sometimes what is us just being again, normal humans or what is common behavior, but is something that we can learn to manage and override. Okay, so the reason I'm spending time explaining this to you is because the last thing I want is for you to think there's something wrong with you, that you're just not a person who trusts yourself and that it's a lost cause. It is not a lost cause. Okay, if there's a reason why we don't trust ourselves, then we can change that until we do trust ourselves if you want that. Now, why would we want that? Why do I want to trust myself? Oh my goodness. Where do we begin? When you trust yourself, what's possible in your life becomes extraordinary. Extraordinary. You are capable of extraordinary results. Things that are far beyond what you've even imagined right now. But let's just take the things that you have imagined. You have a whole bunch of things that you know that you want, right? If I said, hey, I have a magic wand, and whatever you desire, I can make it true. Whoever you want to be, how you want to look, how you want to feel, what you want your health to be, you want your money to look like, whatever result you want in your life, I'm just going to wave my wand and you could have it. You probably wouldn't have a hard time coming up with a whole list of things that you want, right? And any of those things that you want are available to you to create. How do I know this? Because if they weren't available, you wouldn't want them. There are people who want to do Ironmans. They want to finish Ironmans. They want to win Ironmans. And guess what I want to do? Not an Ironman. So I don't know that I have the capacity or the potential within me to do an Ironman because I don't have the desire. But I have many other things I desire to do. And I wouldn't have those desires if I didn't have the capacity or potential to fulfill them. I coach clients who want to be singer-songwriters. I coach clients who want to have big coaching businesses. I coach clients who want to have a whole bunch of children. I coach people who want all kinds of things that sometimes some of us in the room go, why would you want that? Okay? We don't all want the same things. There are some similar things that many people tend to want, but we all have different desires, different interests, because we have different capacities, different skills, different potentials. Okay, so when you build self-trust, you suddenly start making commitments to yourself that push yourself outside your current comfort zone, that require that you go out and try something new, that require that you learn new skills, that require that you become a new person. And that's the way you achieve the things that you desire, by growing, by learning, by trial and error, by effort. And not just effort doing things that you already know how to do, but effort doing things you've never done before, and you have no idea how to do, and part of you isn't even sure you ever can. That's how you create an extraordinary life. Self-trust is an important component of that, because if you can't commit to yourself and trust in yourself, you likely will never even try. You won't try to the level that's possible. Okay, so we want to build self-trust. It also happens to feel a lot better living from self-trust. It's much more enjoyable to be with someone that you trust and that you enjoy being around, right, than to be with someone that you don't trust, or who you think doesn't trust you, or doesn't enjoy being with you, or you don't enjoy being with them. That is not a fun dynamic, and the same is true with our relationship with ourselves. So here's what I got to say. I am a coach, right? And in coaching, the type of coaching I do anyway, we don't spend a lot of time in the past. Okay, coaching is not the place where we diagnose problems from the past or anything like that. We actually spend our time in the present and in the future for the most part. So we might look at a past scenario as an example of something, but mostly what I'm doing as a coach is helping clients determine what they want and how they're going to create what they want in the present and for the future. But there is one exception when I say, let's go into the past. And it is this, it is when you are trying to build trust with yourself. I want you to go back and take a look at your relationship with your past self. And I'm going to guess with 99.9 percent certainty that if you don't have self-trust, you have a negative relationship with your past self. What do I mean by that? I mean, the way you think about your past self, the thoughts you have, the stories you tell yourself, the emotions that come up for you when you look at pictures of your past self or watch videos of your past self, or talk about what you've done or who you've been in the past. If you're uncomfortable talking about your past, you probably have a negative relationship with your past self. Now, I don't mean all of it's negative, but I mean, overall, is your relationship with your past self healthy or is it toxic? For most people, it's extremely toxic, even if it just looks like neglect. Neglecting your relationship with your past self is also a toxic relationship, okay? So as we heal this relationship with your past self, here's the amazing thing. Your present becomes much more enjoyable and you start creating the future that you want for all the reasons we just talked about. So how do we know if you have a negative relationship with your past self? Here are some things that might look like. Again, maybe you look at photos of yourself and you start judging your appearance. I had this experience in the last couple of months where I've been going through some of the old videos of me doing coaching sessions from the past. This is because I teach a coach training class, and so I've been going through trying to find good examples for them of the things that I'm teaching so that I can show them these coaching videos, right? And we can learn from them. And so I've been scouring old videos of me, myself, on video coaching. So first of all, I don't know about you, but when I watch videos of myself in the present even, right, it brings up all of the negative thoughts about how silly I look, how dumb I sound, why is my voice like that, why did I wear that outfit, etc. And sometimes I will see a video of my past self, and I'll have some positive thoughts, right? Sometimes I think like, oh, look how good my skin looked there, my hair looked good that day, or that I liked the way I coached that woman, that was pretty insightful. Like, I'll have a few of those. But most of them, on default, are super negative, right? I'm looking at myself from years ago. I'm looking at myself when I remember letting a friend do a treatment on my hair. Don't do this, ladies. Do not let your friends do chemical treatments on your hair, because, sure enough, my hair broke off and ended up needing to cut it really short, but I was still really into having very bleached blonde hair. So I just have what I consider not a great haircut in this one video that comes to mind. And this was also when I was in the phase of getting long, thick eyelash extensions. And I don't know, looking back now, I'm like, that looks kind of funny to me. And I think I got some bad botox or something. Like my eyes look droopy and tired, and my face looks puffy. I'm probably eating too much sugar. And just all of these negative thoughts, just about my appearance, first of all. And I remember pulling up this one photo, I can still see myself in my mind within the last couple of months and going like, oh, wow, no, let's find a new video. We're not going to show anyone this one. That is a negative relationship with my past self. And it doesn't just happen on occasion. It's the norm, right? Can you relate to this, seeing videos or photos of yourself from the past and cringing and wanting to look away and having all kinds of judgment? I remember even doing this years ago, I had lost some weight, and I would look back at photos of myself before I'd lost the weight. And I remember being like, oh, I can't believe I weighed that much. Wow, that's so awful. And like wanting to look away and then thinking, well, thank goodness I don't weigh that much now. Terrible, toxic relationship with past self, if you have thoughts like that, right? Now again, I've had times when I look back and go, oh, I actually looked really good there. I should have appreciated how I looked when I was a little younger or different in some way. But still, majority of my thoughts, very negative. Not to mention, again, watching old coaching videos of myself where my coaching has evolved and gotten better over the years, I'll watch some of them be like, man, I was a terrible coach back then. This is a super negative relationship with past self, right? Maybe you look back at some of the actions or things that you've done or things that you didn't do, and you just feel terrible guilt and shame. I've coached a lot of clients in this situation who are, they just cannot forgive themselves for what they consider to be terrible mistakes they've made in interactions with children or what have you. All kinds of things have come up for my clients about mistakes, quote unquote, mistakes that they made, and they just have a super negative relationship with their past self. They cannot forgive him or her. They can't believe they did that, and they can't move on from it as a result. Can you relate to this in some way? I tend to do this also and always have on default with any kind of work that I'm doing and I'll put work in quotes because even with my hobbies, I remember 20 years ago going through scrapbooking phase where I decided to try my hand at scrapbooking for a little bit and I would spend a lot of time doing a scrapbooking page and then I would do another page and after I got a few pages in, I'd go back and look at that first page. And each page I did, I got a little bit better at creating what I wanted to create. And so I'd go back to the first page and be like, oh, that's so bad. And then I wanted to redo it. And so I never completed a whole scrapbook because I could not stop going back to the previous pages and noticing how bad they were. And then it felt like I had to redo them. And so it just wasn't that enjoyable. I do the same with sewing projects. I've seen people do this with their art, right? As you get better at something, maybe with music, etc. As you get better at a skill and you go look at previous iterations, if you beat up your past self, that's a super negative relationship with past self. I do this with my podcasts. I cannot go listen to old podcast episodes because I'm just like, oh man, that was so not good. Or again, old coaching calls. Maybe you do this with your house. Maybe you look at old photos of where you live and how you decorated your house or previous places that you lived in and you judge your past self. All of these things are indicators that you might have some work to do on your relationship with your past self. Now here's the overall test. I want you to try this out. If I asked you two questions, if I said, here's a piece of paper, we're gonna do a quick little journal write. We're gonna answer two questions. The first question is, what did your past self do that you wish he or she hadn't done? And maybe it's just because you have certain regrets. Maybe it's made your life harder today in some way. But what criticism do you have for your past self? And the second question is, what are you so appreciative and grateful to your past self for having done? And before you even answer any of those questions, I think it can be a useful exercise to answer. But before you even do that, the test is which question is easier to answer? Is it easier to answer the first question about what they did wrong, your past self? Or is it easier to answer the second one about what she did that you're so grateful for that hooked you up today? If you're like most people, it's way easier to answer the first one. When I ask people that first one, they don't even have to stop and think. They just rattle off a whole list of all the mistakes and all the problems and all the short comings. And then when I say, now what do you appreciate that you did, past you did for you today? They're like, well, and then they really have to dig deep and they find something really trivial. Like I think I'm a nice person. I'm glad that I'm mostly nice to people. That's not wrong. It's just like kind of digging deep to find something. Like that's all you can come up with. So that is an indicator that you have a toxic relationship with your past self. And that is why you don't trust yourself today because you're afraid of you. You know you're going to beat you up in the future. You know you're not even going to appreciate it if you do do it. You're going to judge it as having taken too long, not being enough. In some way, you're going to find the negative anyway. And then you don't like being with you, and you certainly don't want to commit to doing anything for you. So imagine if you had a parent or a boss or somebody who treated you this way. If every time they asked you to do something and you did it, they didn't really remember it. They couldn't even recall it later. They certainly didn't take the time to acknowledge it. But every time you fell short, they kept throwing it in your face over and over again. What would your relationship be like with that parent or that boss? Toxic. And if that's what your relationship is like with your past self, then you have a toxic relationship with yourself. Period. So what do we do about it? Before I give you the few steps, I want you to now think about somebody in your life who's very easy for you to love. Okay. Notice I didn't say the person you love the most. I said somebody that's very easy for you to love, because who comes to my mind are my girlfriends. I have a handful of really close girlfriends that I've known for 30 years, most of them. And we travel together a little bit, we don't live near each other, but we get together a little bit for girls trips, okay? And it's so easy for me to love them. It's easy because I don't see them that often, and I miss them. And when I do see them, I just think they're amazing. And it's very easy for me to overlook any of their weaknesses and shortcomings, and I just appreciate and soak in all their strengths. Now, I have children who I love, and I have a spouse who I love, and I have other family who I love. And so we might say I love my family more, but sometimes I have to work on feeling love in certain moments, right? Because I also have strong opinions about how they should be, and I also have worry about them, and sometimes I have judgment about things that they do. So that's what I mean by pick a person or a group of people who are really easy for you to love, okay? And just one is enough. Have that person in your mind. And then ask the same question I just asked you. If I said to you, tell me what their weaknesses or shortcomings are, you could probably come up with some, right? But then if I said, what do you love about them? Which question would be easier to answer? Which one would you have a longer list of? Because with my girlfriends, I can tell you some of their weaknesses, what I think are weaknesses or shortcomings, right? I know they're not perfect. But if you ask me what I love about them, I could talk all day long about it. And it's so easy for me to do. And even their weaknesses, I can really easily excuse with like, yeah, but it's okay. Or they're kind of like endearing things about them that make them unique. So I don't even mind him, right? Most of them. Okay, so I want you to think about that person only because that's what we're aiming for. What if your relationship with yourself was like that? I'm not talking about excusing bad behavior, not recognizing that you can improve. I'm just talking about having a very loving, close, compassionate, easy-to-love relationship with yourself. What would change in your life? Only everything. Okay, so here are the practical things I want you to do if you want to make this real in your life. Number one, I want you to write a letter to your past self. This is the kind of letter that you would write to someone or the kind of conversation you would have with someone in real life who you realize you've created a very toxic relationship with, and you have abused their trust to the point where they don't trust you now, and you have neglected them and not appreciated them, and you've just criticized them over and over again. What would you say to that person if you really cared about them and you decided, I want to mend this relationship? What would you say? You might say things like, hey, thanks for even taking the time to read this letter or to sit down with me and have this conversation. I am so sorry. I didn't even realize how bad things have gotten. I didn't even realize how much I was neglecting you. I didn't even notice until now how hard I've been on you. And I want to tell you that I am so sorry. That is on me. That is not about you. That is about me, my lack of awareness, my lack of understanding, and I want to do better. And I'm committing to you today to do better. I just hope that you'll give me another chance. And I want to tell you that I think you're amazing, and I'm going to work on telling you that more often. And I want to tell you that the areas in which you fell short are fine. You know what? I'm fine. I've got it. I can cover it. Okay. So in short, you're going to ask your past self for another chance. Now, the next exercise we're going to do is one that you might want to do before your letter if you want to include this stuff in the letter, or you can just make the letter brief and just ask for a second chance. Apologize, be open, be vulnerable, be real, be honest, and then move on to step number two, okay? This is the second thing I want you to do. And you can do these, by the way, in a notepad. I like to do it on paper, or you can do it on a word document on your computer. Whatever is easiest for you. It doesn't matter. The next thing I want you to do is brainstorm a list of all of the things past you did that hooked you up, that you are so grateful for, okay? There are going to be probably a few that are obvious if you stop and think about it. Like for me, what immediately comes to my mind is, thank you for giving birth to those four children. And I want you, when you do this exercise, by the way, to really milk it. Don't just make a list. But at least in your mind, if you want to write it down even better. But even if you just take a moment with each one in your mind, to really milk it. What I mean by that is don't just go, thank you for giving birth to four children. Milk it. Like, that was so hard. I remember that being really hard for you. And I remember that you were in a lot of pain, that you were really uncomfortable. You suffered a lot through that. And I am so grateful you did that. And I don't know if you know this, but that turned out to be so amazing for me. Because we have these four amazing, brilliant, beautiful children. You are not gonna believe how awesome they are and how much they bless your life. Thank you, thank you for having those four children. Notice how I milked it for a minute there. Same thing with my spouse. I would be like, thank you for marrying Jake Moore. He is such a good man. He's not perfect, but he's pretty freaking awesome. And thank you for not marrying a couple of those other dudes who you dated in the past, right? You made the best choice. I'm so grateful to you for doing that. And thank you for getting a college degree. Thank you for going on and getting certified at the Life Coach School. Thank you for taking all the classes you've taken and all the books you've read. And like so many things you've learned that are serving us so well today. Thank you, thank you, thank you for that. Thank you for developing the skills that you've developed. And again, milk it. List out all the areas that past you has developed skills. And don't take things for granted, my friends. You have so many skills that, remember, you've been neglecting your past self, so you haven't even paid attention. But I like to go back to 16-year-old Jody, 15-year-old Jody actually, and tell her, thank you for learning to drive. It's so awesome that we can just get in a car and be on the other side of town in minutes. And like the world is so much bigger and your life is so much better and more expansive because you know how to drive. And I remember that being a hard thing to learn. Thank you for doing it. Thank you for getting your driver's license, right? So there will be some things that are obvious, but eventually you're going to get to a point where you're going to run out of things. And I want you to not stop. I want you to keep going until you start noticing little things like thank you for buying these clothes because now I have clothes in my closet to wear. Thank you for having food to eat, for eating well enough that we can still do whatever it is that you can do with your body today. Thank you for lifting the weights you lifted. Even if part of you is like, I need to do that more, I need to lift more weights, I need to eat better. Okay, but we're not doing that right now. We're just thanking past you because listen, when it comes right down to it, you are alive today because of good decisions that past you made. Thank you for buckling our seatbelt when we get in the car. Thank you for being careful, for being safe. Thank you for brushing our teeth and occasionally even flossing them because now we have pretty healthy teeth. You guys, there are so many things past you did that have hooked you up, and if you're not taking the time to think about them, you're just neglecting past you. And we're just doing a massive brain dump here because remember, we've had a toxic relationship and we need to go back and heal it. So I'm not saying you have to do this every day to acknowledge every little thing that you did, but it might be a good reset for your relationship to just gush with gratitude on past you. So this is a great exercise to do. Now, notice I didn't say, then go through and tell her all the things you wish she would have done differently. You don't have to do that. Your brain's already going to do that automatically, okay? So you can skip that step. Here's the next thing I want you to do. I want you to start noticing the negativity that comes up, the negative internal self-chatter about your past self. So remember, I gave you the example of finding the video of myself. There's several videos of myself that bring up negativity, but there's this one in particular where I have the broken, bleached hair and the big eyelashes and the puffy face. And I don't really know what was going on in that video, but I so wanted to just indulge in negativity when I saw that video. But what I did instead was use it as an opportunity to practice healing my relationship with my past self. So I paused the video. And you know what happens when you pause a video? Your face is always contorted in the most bizarro way. And I just left it like that. I didn't try to find a freeze frame where I look normal. I just left it like that. And I just looked at her and I said, I love you. And it seems like you're going through something right now. It seems like you made some bad hair choices, first of all. But it seems like also maybe I don't remember exactly what was going on in my life at that time, but maybe you're going through something hard. Maybe you're not getting enough sleep. Maybe you're worried about something. Maybe you're struggling in some way. And you know what? Look at you doing it. Look at you still showing up, doing your job and taking care of your clients and building your business and taking care of your kids and managing your home and doing your best to take care of our physical health. I love you so much, and I appreciate you. And I'm not mad at you, and I'm done judging you. I don't care what you look like. That is the least interesting thing about you. You are doing so many amazing things right now, in that picture, right, that are going to make my life so much better in 2026. And I know you don't know that right now. You can't even see how that's going to play out, but I just want to tell you that you've created so many things that I'm so appreciative of. So keep going. I love you. I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not hiding you. In fact, I'm showing this video to some coaches in coach training, because they're going to learn from this. And I am done being ashamed of you. I'm done being ashamed of how my body has ever looked. I'm done being guilty and shame filled about poor choices I made in the past. Because you know what? I have made some really poor choices in the past, and I will sometimes make poor choices in the future. But when I beat myself up for them and feel terrible about them and continue to just relentlessly feel bad, it only makes me want to make more poor choices going forward. But when I say, hey girl, I see you. I don't know what you're doing there. This is me talking to my past self, right? I'm not sure why you're doing what you're doing, but you know what? I know it's hard right now. I know you're struggling. I know what you need is extra support. The last thing you need is someone to be beating you up. You need some extra support and love, and I'm here for it. I'm gonna give it to you. I love you. Listen, you're gonna turn this around eventually, and I'm not mad at you. And there's nothing you've done that can't be healed. That's what the Atonement of Christ is actually all about. And yeah, you might have to go back and make amends and make things right. And you in some ways might be making our life harder, but you know what? I love you, I got you, and you can do this. That is what your past self needs. That is obviously what your present self needs. But as you heal this relationship with your past self, do you know what happens? You start accessing crazy amounts of strength to make better choices today and for your future. That is literally what happens. We think if we don't beat ourselves up, we're gonna make bad choices. The opposite is true. If you don't beat yourself up, you make much better choices because you access strength, wisdom, courage, creativity, solutions, et cetera. Okay? So notice when the negativity comes up and choose to redirect it to compassion and kindness and support. And then the final thing that you can do to heal this relationship that will change your life, my friends, is to just commit to be more supportive and open for your present self and your future self. Because if you can be there for you when you're falling short, when you're struggling and say, Hey, what do you need? What's going on? Seems like you're having a hard time following through on this thing. And I thought it was important. We said it was important. It was important. So what's going on? Did we over promise and now we're under delivering? Do we need to commit something more realistic, more reasonable? Are we trying to make a change out of hate and loathing or fear and scarcity? Do we need to clean that up? Do we need to get to abundance and love and trust and make changes because we can and we want to, not because we need to earn our love? What is going on? Do you need extra support? Do you need extra tools? Do you need more time? Do you need me to remind you how awesome I think you are? Because if you can commit to that, to be more supportive and open, you will find more courage. You will set bigger goals. You will try more things. This is the way it works, my friends. And this changes everything about your future. So I hope you will give this a try. Work on your relationship with your past self. It doesn't have to take a long time. It just has to take consistency. You don't have to be perfect at it, but give it a try. Come and let me know if you need help with it. You can find me on Instagram. You can find me in where else? For those of you in the lab, you have lots of access to me, but give this a try and let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear about it. All right, I'll see you next week. Have a beautiful week. Bye bye. Oh wow, look at that. You made it to the end. Your time and attention is valuable, and I don't take it lightly that you made it this far. In fact, it tells me you might be like me, insatiably curious about people and life, and potential and connection. Sound familiar? Come to a free coaching call and see for yourself what's possible. jodymore.com/freecoaching to register. That's jodymore.com/freecoaching.