transcript
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[01:04] Countdown for blast off, X minus 5, 4, 3, 2, X minus 1, fire.
Speaker 3:
[01:39] From the far horizons of the unknown come tales of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the future, adventures in which you'll live in a million could be years on a thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company presents. The Haunted Corpse by Frederik Pohl. It was 2200 hours when my task force of 135 picked men and a waxed anographer, all fully equipped for any emergency, surrounded the big house. Just as I stepped out of my jeep, the old boy himself came storming out of the house with fire in his eye. While he was still ranting and raving, I gave him a soft salute and waited for him to finish.
Speaker 4:
[02:46] Go on, get the whole bunch of you. This is private property and you're trespassing. I won't have it, you hear? Now go on, get out.
Speaker 3:
[02:51] I'm Colonel Windermere, sir. My orders are to establish a security cordon around your laboratories. Here you are, Dr. Horn, your copy of the orders.
Speaker 4:
[02:58] You can take those orders? Say, say, who put you up to this? I know, Van Pelt. Why that rotten, over-stuffed, back-stabbing monster of a ti-
Speaker 3:
[03:08] Dr. Horn.
Speaker 4:
[03:09] Oh, I know, Van Pelt. I ought to. He worked as my associate for years. But that doesn't give him the right to turn traitor and go running off to the Pentagon with a story about the Horn effect.
Speaker 3:
[03:18] Excuse me, Dr. Horn. The General asked me to give you his personal assurance that my men will not in any way interfere with your work here. It's just a matter of security.
Speaker 4:
[03:27] Security? Now listen here, Lieutenant. I won't tolerate anybody...
Speaker 3:
[03:30] Excuse me, sir. It's Colonel. Lieutenant Colonel Windemere.
Speaker 4:
[03:35] Colonel, General, Lieutenant, what do I care what full title you stick on your name? The Horn effect is my personal property. Not yours, not Van Pelt's, not the Pentagon's. Not anybody's, but mine. You and your whole army can go plumb to the devil. Good day.
Speaker 3:
[03:58] I watched the old man, he must have been all of 85, go stalking back into the house. During the night, a wire-stringing detail surrounded the whole place with three-strand electrified barbed wire with guard towers every 50 yards. I inspected the whole establishment before breakfast the next morning. And then, satisfied that everything was in order, I ate breakfast in my tent. I was interrupted by the appearance of Van Pelt, the fat and chubby scientist who had sent the original report to Washington.
Speaker 5:
[04:29] What did he say, how did he take it, Colonel? I mean, is he sore?
Speaker 3:
[04:33] Sore as a boil, doctor.
Speaker 5:
[04:35] Oh, well, you're here, so I guess he won't try anything. By the way, I didn't get a chance to have breakfast in town, and I wonder...
Speaker 3:
[04:47] Oh, of course, have some bacon and eggs.
Speaker 5:
[04:51] Thank you very much, it looks delicious.
Speaker 3:
[05:01] I watched him gobble up the rest of my breakfast. I was beginning to understand why Van Pelt and Horn didn't get along very well, why Van Pelt finally went running to the Pentagon with his report. Of course, it was my job to keep an open mind, but I couldn't help thinking how I'd feel if my exec, Captain Lefferts, went over my head in that way. No, I couldn't blame Dr. Horn for being angry. At fourteen hundred, I went to see the doctor again. I brought along Corporal McCabe, my wax stenographer.
Speaker 4:
[05:30] Well, what are you two on?
Speaker 3:
[05:32] Good afternoon, Dr. Horn. I'm here to get your daily progress report.
Speaker 4:
[05:36] Daily? You want a report every day?
Speaker 3:
[05:38] Yes, sir. Refer to paragraph eight of my orders. Corporal McCabe here is an expert stenographer. She'll take down your dictation.
Speaker 4:
[05:44] Dictation? No, no, I won't do it. I absolutely will not do it.
Speaker 3:
[05:48] You will have to do it, sir. Orders.
Speaker 4:
[05:50] Why, why, you and your stinking little two-bit army? I ought to... Progress report, you say?
Speaker 3:
[06:01] Yes, sir.
Speaker 4:
[06:02] You're going to stick to what you say?
Speaker 3:
[06:04] I must, sir.
Speaker 4:
[06:06] Well, I suppose I must reconcile myself to the situation. Now, exactly what is it that you want, Lieutenant?
Speaker 3:
[06:14] The report, sir, and it's Colonel, not Lieutenant.
Speaker 4:
[06:17] Please, just so, just so. The report, all about my work, is that it?
Speaker 3:
[06:23] You may speak freely, Doctor. Corporal McCabe has full security clearance.
Speaker 4:
[06:27] Well, that must make her very happy. Ah, yes, the report. Just so, just so.
Speaker 3:
[06:45] You're listening to The Haunted Corpse on X Minus One. Have you ever read the one ads? Oh, say one morning, you pick up your hometown paper and spot an ad which reads, wanted, for important position with fast growing concern. Native-born American citizen, male or female, at least 35 years of age, must be able to give proof of 14-year residence in the United States. Position of four-year duration with possible renewal.
Speaker 2:
[07:13] Room and board furnished.
Speaker 3:
[07:15] Yearly salary, $100,000, with an additional $40,000 for travel and official entertainment, plus $50,000 for operating expenses. Summer residence furnished with paid vacation. Qualifications of applicant carefully checked before position assigned. Now, an ad sounds mighty attractive, doesn't it? But the job it describes isn't a soft one by any means. As a matter of fact, it's probably the toughest job in America. That of being president of the United States. And the first job of each president is to take an oath that he will faithfully execute the office to which he's been named and will, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. Yes, the job of being president is a mighty important one. But preserving and protecting the Constitution is even more important, because the Constitution is the supreme law of the land. The president may veto a bill, but if Congress, by a two-thirds majority, passes the bill over his veto, it becomes a law under the Constitution, unless set aside by judicial judgment. Thus, the best interests of the people are protected.
Speaker 2:
[08:29] That's how your American Constitution works.
Speaker 3:
[08:43] Now, back to X Minus One, and The Haunted Corpse. I wasn't deceived by Dr. Horn's sudden willingness to cooperate. He was probably trying to win my confidence, so they could find a way to phone his congressman and make trouble for the whole operation. But I merely nodded to Corporal McCabe, who opened her notebook and got ready to take the dictation.
Speaker 4:
[09:07] Very well. This machine you see here is my polychloid quasitron. Now, to understand its operation, let me explain.
Speaker 6:
[09:15] Excuse me, that term...
Speaker 3:
[09:17] Oh, yes, yes. Dr. Horn, would you kindly spell poly, those two words for the corporal?
Speaker 4:
[09:23] Just so, just so. P-O-L-Y-C-L-O-I-D-Q-U-A-S-I-T-R-O-N.
Speaker 6:
[09:32] Thank you, sir.
Speaker 4:
[09:33] Just so. Well, now, the various...
Speaker 3:
[09:36] It was rough going for about an hour. The doctor had to pause every 50 seconds to spell a word for McCabe, who was looking more and more ill at ease. But there was one virtue to this slow pace. I was able to follow it all fairly well. And when the doctor finally stopped, I was ready to sum it up for him.
Speaker 4:
[09:55] I hope, Lieutenant, that I made myself clear?
Speaker 3:
[09:57] Yes, sir. In other words, you've perfected a method of electronically killing a man without touching him.
Speaker 4:
[10:03] What? Electronically killing a man without touching him?
Speaker 3:
[10:08] Yes, sir.
Speaker 4:
[10:09] Just so, Lieutenant, just so. Will you tell me one thing, what in the sweet name of heaven did I say that gave you that particularly stupid notion?
Speaker 3:
[10:18] Well, sir, that's what you said. It is also what my briefing from General Follinsby at the Pentagon gave me to understand.
Speaker 4:
[10:24] Oh, rubbish. Oh, I see what you mean. Just so, just so. I confess I wondered why you're here in the first place. The government feels that this is a weapon.
Speaker 3:
[10:36] Of course, sir.
Speaker 4:
[10:37] Oh, well, now we understand each other. My machine renders humans into corpses. So does the Chipped Flint, for that matter. Yeah, but never mind. That is the aspect which interests you. Yeah. Very good. But Marcus, Lieutenant, my Quasitron does something no Chipped Flint can do. It removes from the human body that thing which possesses only a negative definition, the quantity that we will term X, which added to the body produces a man, subtracted leaves a corpse. Oh, but you don't care about all that, do you?
Speaker 3:
[11:14] Sir, I don't follow you.
Speaker 4:
[11:16] No, you're downright you don't. We're all corpses, don't you see? Corpses inhabited by ghosts. And there's only one man in the world who can separate the two without destroying them. And that is me. There's only one way to do it, and that's with the Quasitron. The Daily Turned.
Speaker 3:
[11:44] Corporal McCabe and I left hurriedly. I was ready now to make my situation analysis according to orders, but I decided to check one fact. I summoned Van Pelt to my tent that night.
Speaker 5:
[11:56] No, no, Colonel Windemere, he's perfectly sane, perfectly. But he is also dangerous, particularly dangerous to me. I mean, of course, if I haven't the army's promise of complete protection. Colonel, that bowl of fruit looks tempting. I wonder if I...
Speaker 3:
[12:17] Oh, help yourself, Dr. Pelt.
Speaker 5:
[12:19] Thank you. Tasty, very tasty.
Speaker 3:
[12:25] Dr. Van Pelt, I must have the straight dope on horn. What's this ghost business?
Speaker 5:
[12:29] My goodness, Colonel, that's just the old man's way of putting it. Forget the term ghost if it really is a procedure. Whatever you want to call this thing in the body, life, intelligence or whatnot, this is what his machine works on. If he wishes, he can replace this quantity or remove it from body to body. You might call the operation a transference. A transference of the personality. Yes, that will describe it.
Speaker 3:
[13:05] Well, I got rid of Van Pelt fast after that. Now I had something really exciting to look into. This old man had a machine that could take a person out of his body and put him into another one if he liked. Next morning, I demanded a demonstration, and Dr. Horn showed me how he could change a hen and a cocker spaniel with the Quasitron. It was weird, but impressive and convincing.
Speaker 4:
[13:27] Well, Lieutenant, do you believe in my machine now?
Speaker 3:
[13:30] Remarkable. But can it work with people?
Speaker 4:
[13:34] Well, indeed it can, but these ridiculous laws governing the conduct of institutions. Heaven knows I've tried to get permission for an experiment. A man dying of cancer, for instance, to exchange with a feeble-minded youth. Why not? Put the sound mind of the sound body and let the other die? But no, no, they won't have it.
Speaker 3:
[13:54] I see. Then it actually has never been done.
Speaker 4:
[13:58] No, but now you're here, Lieutenant, a military man, very brave, just so, just so. All I've ever needed was a volunteer. Now, Van Pelt refused, the coward. So is everyone else, but now you...
Speaker 3:
[14:13] Negative, sir, negative. I am not a lieutenant doctor. I am a field-grade officer. But if there is a need for volunteers, I can find them for you, sir.
Speaker 4:
[14:22] You can? You really can?
Speaker 3:
[14:24] Yes, sir. I can think of several likely prospects. Give me until tomorrow.
Speaker 4:
[14:29] Just so, just so, you can. Major, I mean, no, captain, then. Tomorrow, do splendidly.
Speaker 3:
[14:41] My immediate job was to get the volunteers. I would require two. The first was Easy, a private in Able Company. I sent for him, and he appeared looking apprehensive.
Speaker 5:
[14:53] Sir, the Colonel sent for me.
Speaker 3:
[14:54] I did? You're the latrine orderly of Able Company?
Speaker 6:
[14:57] Yes, sir, I am, sir.
Speaker 3:
[14:58] Now, there's a report on you. AWOL, that means a court martial. You're aware of the possible consequences?
Speaker 5:
[15:04] Yes, sir, I am, sir.
Speaker 3:
[15:06] There is a possibility that these charges might be dropped. It depends upon our finding a volunteer for a special job. Is that all, sir?
Speaker 5:
[15:17] Oh, I volunteer, Colonel.
Speaker 3:
[15:19] When do I start, sir? The first was one. The second was a bit more of a problem. I thought at once of my executive officer, Captain Lefferts, a fine officer, typical of the best leadership type. He had just been married, and he had no desire to be transferred to Saudi Arabia. Let me get this straight, Colonel. Are you saying that if I volunteer for this assignment, there's a possibility my orders might be changed? Captain, I hold your transfer orders in my hand. If you decide to volunteer, I will destroy them. Sir, I volunteer. So, it was done. The next morning, both men were strapped into Horn's infernal machine. There was a great crackling and sparking.
Speaker 4:
[16:28] Yeah, it's done.
Speaker 3:
[16:30] May I speak to my men?
Speaker 4:
[16:32] Go right ahead, Lieutenant.
Speaker 3:
[16:33] Uh, orderly first. You, name, rank and serial number.
Speaker 6:
[16:39] Sir, Lefferts, Robert T.,
Speaker 3:
[16:41] Captain AUS. Serial number 03339615.
Speaker 5:
[16:45] Oh, sir, about that transfer to Saudi Arabia.
Speaker 3:
[16:47] No, that'll do. Good heavens. Uh, and, uh, now you, Colonel, sir, I changed my mind. If I can't go back to Latrine orderly, I'll take the guardhouse, sir. It worked. Um, uh, at ease, men. You really did it, Dr. Horn.
Speaker 4:
[17:06] Just so, Lieutenant, just so. I really did.
Speaker 3:
[17:19] Horns switched the two men back again while I rushed for the telephone. Crash priority, the Pentagon, General Pollensby. Priority and classified. Ask the general to stand by for Scrambler.
Speaker 2:
[17:38] A Weapon.
Speaker 3:
[17:39] This was far more than a weapon. We had the world by the tail. I got through to the general, and I was excited as I pointed out the implications of the device. Suppose a hostile representative visited this country, I told him. One of our men could switch places with him, and no one would ever guess. In time, we could have our men in the top positions of every government in the world. Our men reporting to us. It was the greatest opportunity any government ever had. The general was impressed in spite of himself. We arranged an appointment in the Pentagon for the next morning. As I hung up, I fingered the silver leaf on my shoulder. It would soon be a star. Colonel! Colonel! What is it, O'Hare? Sir, I don't know how to put this. I'm afraid Dr. Van Pelt has gone psycho, sir. Why, Sergeant? What's he done? He's raving, sir. He says Dr. Horn wants to live forever. He says all Horn was waiting for was to make a test on a human being. He says now you've given Horn his test. Horn is going to grab the first human being he can find and... Excuse me, sir. This is what he said. And steal his body. Great Scott! Where is Van Pelt now? In the laboratory, sir, with Dr. Horn. Gee, is everybody around here nuts? I saw it all in the flash. Dr. Horn had a brick in mind but a worn-out body. He was going to make a switch before his own aging machinery broke down.
Speaker 5:
[18:57] I had to stop him.
Speaker 3:
[18:58] Van Pelt was there literally asking for it. When I opened the door of the lab, I stumbled over Horn's body, dead. He'd already done it. Next to his body, sprawled my whack. Corporal McCabe, stunned by a blow on the head, as she tried to prevent the tragedy.
Speaker 5:
[19:33] Destroyed!
Speaker 3:
[19:39] McCabe, you killed him!
Speaker 5:
[19:42] You fool!
Speaker 3:
[19:43] You unutterable ass! Wing him, yes! Stop him from smashing the machine, yes! But why did you have to shoot to kill?
Speaker 6:
[19:49] It seemed the best way!
Speaker 3:
[19:54] You've ruined everything now. Horn's dead and so is Van Pelt. The machine is wrecked beyond repair. Sorry, Corporal, but I'm putting you under arrest. Give me that gun.
Speaker 6:
[20:07] I'm afraid not. You're fundamentally a nice guy, so I'm just going to lock you in here long enough to get away, Lieutenant.
Speaker 3:
[20:17] Lieutenant? Horn! You're Dr. Horn!
Speaker 6:
[20:22] Just so, Lieutenant. Just so.
Speaker 3:
[20:25] Goodbye. X Minus One has brought you The Haunted Corpse, a story written by Frederik Pohl and adapted for radio by William Welch. Featured in our cast were Edgar Staley as Dr. Horn, Walter Black as the Colonel, and Dean Lyman Omquist as Van Pelt. Others in our cast were Lydia Bruce, Alan Collins, Bob Hastings and Ralph Camargo. This is Fred Collins speaking. X Minus One was directed by George Wutzas and is an NBC Radio Network production. We pause now for station identification.
Speaker 7:
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