transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:42] Stop it! Andy and Kansas. It's time to pray. Andy and Kansas, you're on the air. Thanks for holding. I'm a first-time caller.

Speaker 2:
[00:51] I'm a huge fan.

Speaker 3:
[00:51] I love your work, Knowledge Fight.

Speaker 1:
[00:55] knowledgefight.com. I love you.

Speaker 2:
[00:59] Hey, everybody, welcome back to Knowledge Fight, I'm Dan.

Speaker 3:
[01:03] I'm Jordan.

Speaker 2:
[01:04] We're a couple dudes, like to sit around, worship at the Altar of Selene, talk a little bit about Alex Jones.

Speaker 3:
[01:10] Oh, indeed we are, Dan.

Speaker 2:
[01:12] Jordan.

Speaker 3:
[01:13] Dan.

Speaker 2:
[01:14] Jordan.

Speaker 3:
[01:14] Quick question for you.

Speaker 2:
[01:15] What's up?

Speaker 3:
[01:16] What's your bright spot today, buddy?

Speaker 2:
[01:18] My bright spot today, Jordan, is that I am off on the road.

Speaker 3:
[01:22] Yay.

Speaker 2:
[01:24] I am calling you right now, and we're having this talk. You don't know where I am.

Speaker 3:
[01:28] No, I don't.

Speaker 2:
[01:30] And you know what? You want to know something fun? I don't know where I am.

Speaker 3:
[01:34] That's good news.

Speaker 2:
[01:35] I have basically no idea where I am. I was like, I can tell you that I'm in Iowa. I know that.

Speaker 3:
[01:43] Are you on the way to somewhere else and you felt like you had to stop?

Speaker 2:
[01:48] Kind of. 50-50. I didn't have to stop.

Speaker 3:
[01:51] That is a weird thing. Okay, 50-50. All right.

Speaker 2:
[01:55] I could have driven further probably, but I was getting a little bit sore and I wanted to settle in, get a little bit of work done. And so it was the time to stop. But I have no idea. I'm somewhere in Iowa. But I had quite a day yesterday. Okay. Of a launch. I took off from Chicago. And I had planned to go to somewhere in Iowa, like messing around. It seems like a fun state. What's going on in there? I realize that a lot of the ambition for my trip is figuring out what's going on places. Why do I need to know what's going on places? Anyway, Iowa, I'm looking into you. So... Okay. It's not quite that they're on notice. It's that I'm, like, I'm poking around.

Speaker 3:
[02:53] Okay, I gotcha. I gotcha. This is not a, like, you know, general state of the country, Vietnam War kind of what's going on. Just a regular... Well, maybe it is. What's going on? Oh, maybe it is.

Speaker 2:
[03:04] Because, you know, it's the 250th anniversary of America. Maybe it is a poking around.

Speaker 3:
[03:09] Oh, shit, you're right.

Speaker 2:
[03:10] Yeah. So maybe it is trying to figure out what's going on. Who?

Speaker 3:
[03:17] I don't think people need to figure it out. I think what's going on is very clear in their faces these days.

Speaker 2:
[03:23] I'm getting a vibe. I'm getting a strong sense. So I was going to go, you know, and I still am. I'm still going to spend some time here in Iowa, sure, wherever the hell I am in Iowa right now. But I'm driving. I'm driving.

Speaker 3:
[03:39] Jordan, you're driving.

Speaker 2:
[03:42] Turns out there's a city called Grand Detour in Illinois.

Speaker 3:
[03:47] Right.

Speaker 2:
[03:47] I think wouldn't it be funny if I took a Grand Detour to Grand Detour?

Speaker 3:
[03:51] I mean, you went to Aroma Park, so you're doomed to punning now. Punning is how you go through life.

Speaker 2:
[03:59] Yes. So I went to Grand Detour. I took that detour. Apparently John Deere tractors started there. I had no idea.

Speaker 3:
[04:10] It's a real out-of-the-way kind of place.

Speaker 2:
[04:13] Quite. Yeah. Not much going on. I got to stare at a river for a while, Rock River. It was gorgeous, and I liked watching the flow of the river, but there wasn't a whole lot to do there. So I'm in that area.

Speaker 3:
[04:29] It's kind of a sign to go in a different direction.

Speaker 2:
[04:31] Or just move on. Just go. So I'm continuing my travels. What do I stumble across but a town called Lost Nation, Illinois?

Speaker 3:
[04:45] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[04:45] I found them.

Speaker 3:
[04:50] It's done. You should receive no reward for that. I demand no reward for that.

Speaker 2:
[04:58] I was there. I saw it. I got it. Check it off the list. Duh, duh, duh. And you know what I found? What? Nothing.

Speaker 3:
[05:08] What if it's a double bluff and that's where Atlanteans are living these days? Right? Like, there's no way you would be like, nah, there's no way that it's them, but that's what they want you to think by making it obvious. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[05:22] There was Lost Lake there and I tried to go mess around with the lake a little bit, but it seemed like all the roads, everything that was close to the lake ended up being on someone else's property. Sure. So I would have to have crossed people's yards and stuff to get to the lake, and I didn't want to do that, so I just left Lost Nation alone.

Speaker 3:
[05:48] Yeah. Well, I mean, presumably, if you ventured too far in there, you would never be able to return.

Speaker 2:
[05:55] It's a risk I'm willing to take. I mean, if I find the Atlanteans, then it's all worth it.

Speaker 3:
[06:00] It's probably a better life. That's why they're still hanging around, right?

Speaker 2:
[06:03] Yeah. Yeah. So I get back in the car. I'm poking around on my GPS, and wouldn't you fucking know it? There's a lost nation in Iowa. There's another city called Lost Nation.

Speaker 3:
[06:19] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[06:21] It's a little bit too far, but I decide, fuck it, I'm going to go see both lost nations in a day.

Speaker 3:
[06:28] I would bet you see more than one.

Speaker 2:
[06:30] So I went to Lost Nation, Iowa, also. That was my continuation of that little jaunt.

Speaker 3:
[06:38] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:41] There's a little more to see in Lost Nation, Iowa, I will say, but not a whole lot. Kind of a sleepy town. There was a pub there and like a main drag, just one street. This is not indicative of the town itself, but I only saw women there. Only women on the street. I think that it might be the lost city of Amazons. Maybe. Maybe the lost nation of wherever fucking Wonder Woman came from. Could be. There were no dudes anywhere. It was boring. Anyway, the point is that I, day one of this trip, have found two lost nations. Indiana Jones couldn't do this shit. I'm crushing it.

Speaker 3:
[07:37] Actually, he could. That's one of the things that he really does. He's done it a few times, even in the movies.

Speaker 1:
[07:42] Right.

Speaker 2:
[07:42] A few times.

Speaker 1:
[07:43] He found aliens.

Speaker 2:
[07:44] Yeah. Give me time.

Speaker 3:
[07:46] I'm giving you time. You better get out there. Two lost nations in a day. You got to find the skull of an alien to get it going.

Speaker 2:
[07:54] This is like Kanye's making eight beats a day for a summer. I got two lost nations in a day. You try.

Speaker 3:
[08:05] I mean, it's there. There's a rope.

Speaker 2:
[08:08] I'm the world's greatest archaeologist and anthropologist, and I'm excited to see what else I can find on this dumb trip.

Speaker 3:
[08:15] He wasn't a very good professor, and I think you'd be better than Indy at that.

Speaker 2:
[08:20] No, probably not. Maybe. Who knows? Look, the other thing was that I was going to camp, and I'd meant to do that, but I wanted to get in a shower this evening. I felt, or yesterday, I felt a little bit, bleh. So I chose a shitty hotel somewhere in Iowa, and I swear to you, I can't figure out how to turn on the shower. There is no knob. There is no nothing. I could turn on the water just fine, but switching it from faucet to shower head, I can't figure it out. I'm too embarrassed to go ask. And to make matters worse, I also, as I was having the water heat up before I would have put it to the shower head, I noticed it wasn't draining. And so now there's standing water in the tub, but I can't get it to drain. Oh boy.

Speaker 3:
[09:21] Oh boy.

Speaker 2:
[09:21] So I would have been better off at a campsite.

Speaker 3:
[09:26] And the clock is 10 minutes behind? I think they're fucking with you. I think they're fucking with you. Or the person who was in that room before you was like, you have no idea how funny this is going to be to nobody later on in life.

Speaker 2:
[09:38] It stinks of sabotage.

Speaker 3:
[09:40] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:42] So anyway, I'm having a good time. But what's your bright spot?

Speaker 3:
[09:46] My bright spot is yesterday we did the outline for my next tattoo. It's on the side, a little bit on the armpit. And I'll tell you something right there. A little sensitive, a little bit of a tender. Yeah, yeah, a little spot. But overall, it's really not that bad. And the tattoo itself is going to be gorgeous. It's amazing. Once again, Caitlin Drake McKay, my artist.

Speaker 2:
[10:11] And you were saying that you were going in without really knowing what she designed, right?

Speaker 3:
[10:17] I send her some inspiration or something along those lines. And she's so good. On this last one, I sent her a specific galaxy and she wound up going down a little rabbit hole of learning all about it and all that stuff. And then she makes some art based on that. And she's so good and so talented that why would I want it anywhere else? Somebody else might have it and then it's gone from me for good. So it's perfect.

Speaker 2:
[10:42] True.

Speaker 3:
[10:43] And then she said, and this is what's important to me. This is my Bain Bright spot because this is something about myself that I've realized over the years. Like with bartenders, when I was alone, there were bartenders, I would go to those bars regularly. And eventually the bartenders would be like, man, you're a good dude. I like having you in this bar. Fuck yeah. That to me is like I won. I beat you. It's that kind of thing. And she said, I really enjoy tattooing you. And I was like, boom, done. That makes me feel so good. Because other people are assholes to everybody.

Speaker 2:
[11:24] Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? I feel like I want to celebrate this in terms of the tattooist and you. But I think most of my memories of the bartender version of exactly what you're talking about were not sincere. I think they were fucking with me because I tipped well.

Speaker 3:
[11:45] Listen, there was one specific bar that was across the street from my apartment that had roughly one person work there and one person go there. And both of those were me and the bartender. So it was all right.

Speaker 2:
[12:00] He was your by default favorite customer.

Speaker 3:
[12:02] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:
[12:04] That's the way. Awesome. I'm excited to see the new piece. I think it's always exciting. So Jordan, today we have an episode to do while I'm out here. In the middle of Iowa. And that is, we need to check back in on 420. Hit the bong. Hit the bong. Hit the bong.

Speaker 3:
[12:23] All right. All right.

Speaker 2:
[12:25] Because the War Room happened after Alex went off air.

Speaker 3:
[12:30] Harrison Smith in The War Room.

Speaker 2:
[12:32] Harrison Smith hosting The War Room. This is, of course, the day that the news broke that The Onion had taken the reins over at Infowars. So I thought, you know, we got Alex's response. Let's take a little time to see what the dweebs out there think. So we'll do that. Okay. And I will guarantee you a guest appearance from Alex.

Speaker 4:
[13:02] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[13:02] He will show up. It is not just going to be Harrison. It's going to be too much Harrison because any is too much, but we'll deal with it. So we start off and he's talking about how it's 420, baby.

Speaker 4:
[13:18] Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to The War Room. I'm your host, Harrison Smith, coming to you live on this 20th of April. It's 420, y'all. The crew is cheering. I don't know if you could hear that. The crew is literally cheering. They love Hitler, I guess.

Speaker 2:
[13:34] I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[13:35] It's kind of weird, but all right. Whatever. You're into it.

Speaker 2:
[13:39] Look, I get that everyone knows that 420 is Hitler's birthday. I understand that. But if it's your first go-to as opposed to hit the bong, we'd... Dad, you have a problem.

Speaker 3:
[13:53] Yeah, I'm a big fan of holding around some sort of device that I can press that would make a big boo sound. And I would boo both of those. I would boo the 421. Frankly, weed is medicine. You can't have fun now. You can't... It can't be fun anymore. It used to be fun when you had to, like, go find a guy who had dirt weed who would then want to hang out with you afterwards.

Speaker 2:
[14:19] But see, to me, 420 is still a celebration of that. Sure. To me, it's still a celebration of beanbag chairs, weird lighting, and lava lamps.

Speaker 3:
[14:31] Sure, sure. But we're old.

Speaker 2:
[14:34] Fine. It's still my culture.

Speaker 3:
[14:36] Fair enough. Fair enough. Old culture. Fair enough. Fair enough. Who am I?

Speaker 2:
[14:42] I come from a culture where 420 is funny, and it has to do with all those trappings of, I'm going to get high, I'm going to watch How High, obviously, or Half Baked, or Bong Water, and then I'm going to eat a bunch of shit. It's going to be great.

Speaker 3:
[15:02] Man, Harlan Williams, Harlan Williams and Half Baked. That's the only star I can think of.

Speaker 2:
[15:08] The correct way to look at this is 420 is about weed. Oh, did you know that it's also Hitler's birthday?

Speaker 3:
[15:17] Right.

Speaker 2:
[15:18] If you say 420 is Hitler's birthday, oh, did you also know that people like it for weed?

Speaker 3:
[15:23] Right.

Speaker 2:
[15:24] You're a mess.

Speaker 3:
[15:25] That is a problem, that is a problem. I would still boo it, though. It's still a boo, because I think it's one of those now like trivia facts that has gone from the realm of being interesting to tell somebody to like, yeah, we all fucking know that. That's one of those trivia facts now. Like the Statue of Liberty is from France. Everybody kind of gets that now, as opposed to it being a fun fact.

Speaker 2:
[15:48] Yeah, fair enough. I mean, like, I respect and admire your right to boo anything. Just boo. Boo away.

Speaker 3:
[15:55] I'm a booer. I'm a hater.

Speaker 2:
[15:57] So, we have another clip of Harrison here. No boo?

Speaker 1:
[16:06] Well done, well done.

Speaker 2:
[16:10] So Harrison had, like, a whole show planned. I swear to God, it was gonna be so good. But then The Onion bought them.

Speaker 4:
[16:16] I had a whole show planned out, and then about five minutes ago, it was announced that The Onion is buying Infowars. Maybe, potentially, they might in the future buy Infowars. This is, of course, is the second time that The Onion has done the media rounds claiming that they own Infowars, which means that they've legitimately published more fake news than we have at this point, because it's just, that's not true. That's not true. Maybe it's eventually true. We'll get into it. I'm gonna spend a lot of time on that. We'll be joined by Rex Jones in the third hour. We'll certainly talk about it. We'll get into it. We'll also, in general, and just by virtue of the modern cultural landscape, we will be funnier than the onion ever is these days. It's kind of sad, but that's the case. So again, we'll get into it. We'll get into it.

Speaker 2:
[17:14] We're gonna be hilarious, and for professional insight, we're gonna be bringing in Alex's son.

Speaker 3:
[17:20] I was just, I realized something. We've always considered him to be somebody who wants to go out with that Colonel Travis kind of way. Maybe he wants to go out a there will be blood way, you know? Like he screams, I've abandoned my boy, and then he beats Harrison Smith to death, and then he says, it's finished, you know? Maybe that's the way to go.

Speaker 2:
[17:40] You know, hey, maybe, or, ooh, here's a possibility, he wants his son to be Colonel Travis.

Speaker 3:
[17:49] Hey buddy, you get out there, you're gonna have a great time.

Speaker 2:
[17:53] Yeah, go down with the ship, kid.

Speaker 3:
[17:55] You're the captain now, dog.

Speaker 2:
[17:58] So, I think also that, like, they have now officially published more fake news than us. That means that when it was, when they had just lied about buying it once, the two, they both had been equal. Both equal in terms of fake news.

Speaker 3:
[18:16] Right, right, right.

Speaker 2:
[18:17] So this is them admitting, this is Harrison admitting that Infowars has published some fake news.

Speaker 3:
[18:22] Sure, sure, but only by a plus one.

Speaker 2:
[18:26] It's still, he's not supposed to believe that.

Speaker 3:
[18:28] No, it's an algebra problem, you know. It's X plus one is the amount of fake news that The Onion produces as compared to Infowars. So even if X is zero, X plus one still means that they're the victor in terms of, well, or whatever it is you like.

Speaker 2:
[18:43] But X can't be zero because the last time they did this, it was fake news.

Speaker 3:
[18:47] Oh, that's a good point. So at the very least, Harrison Smith is admitting to lying about one thing.

Speaker 2:
[18:53] Yeah, yeah. And now they've officially, the Onion has officially taken the lead. This is a cell phone here, man. Come on.

Speaker 3:
[19:01] I like this kind of Mario Kart style of lies. You guys got to shoot the blue shell at the Onion. Maybe you'll even get to keep Infowars.

Speaker 2:
[19:09] You dumbass shot a blue shell at yourself. So Harrison isn't only going to talk about the Onion, but it is going to be a lot about the Onion. He has some other world news that I think is relevant to talk on.

Speaker 4:
[19:25] Finally, disturbing image shows IDF soldier smashing Jesus statue with axe in Lebanon, or as I like to call it, displaying Judeo-Christian values, folks. Here's the Christian part of that. Here's the Judeo part right there. Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 2:
[19:41] Whoa. So I often say that I don't think there's anything wrong with criticizing Israel, and I should actually probably be more direct than that. I think there's something necessary about criticizing Israel. I don't say that the criticism of Israel is OK as an attempt to both sides of the issue. The only thing I'm trying to bring attention to is that these people, like Tucker and Harrison, do not care about the same things that a sincere critic of Israel or Zionism cares about. They're trying to hijack other people's sincere outrage about a genocide and use that to demonize all Jews. And I think that this clip is a helpful illustration of that distinction that I'm trying to get at. Harrison is saying that the image of an IDF soldier smashing a statue of Jesus illustrates the Judeo and Christian parts of Judeo-Christian values. He's saying that Jews are hell-bent on destroying Christianity, and you'd kind of have to be an idiot to not understand exactly what he's saying. What Harrison and folks like him try to do is take the very real criticisms of Israel and throw bigotry into them, like fold it into the mix, while pretending that what they're doing, and the version of criticism that they're engaging in, is based in righteousness, and like they are heroes standing up to a bully or whatever. But they're really more motivated in Trojan horsing this bigotry into it.

Speaker 3:
[21:08] Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the strategy that's worked for them for the past 40 years or whatever. You know, like whenever they first got on to the internet, very useful and necessary criticisms of the United States were ready and available, and they tricked people into taking those and turning them into, shouldn't we be Nazis? You know, that's their strategy.

Speaker 2:
[21:32] It is largely what's done. Like when the bailouts in 2009 and shit were going on, there's serious, serious, necessary criticisms of capitalism and the situation that we had all gotten ourselves into, and they pretended to care about that while yelling about Rothschild bankers and, you know, that kind of shit. It's what they do. They fold these dumb shit things into things that other people might care about if they take it seriously.

Speaker 3:
[22:06] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[22:06] So, you know, my interest is a lot in that distinction, because I think that it's very easy to think that someone is on your side or cares when they do not.

Speaker 3:
[22:21] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[22:22] And that people would need to play a little defense, I think, a little. You know, it's not about purity testing or anything, but there is a level of defense that's required in the information war.

Speaker 3:
[22:34] Sure. Well, I mean, I think it's easy to kind of turn it into a malicious thing or a kind of intelligent thing by calling it kind of a controlled opposition, because the opposition itself reinforces the dominant status of the people, but it's more like a manipulated opposition. These people think, some of them or enough of them think they are fighting what you think you're fighting, only they're Nazis, you know? They're tricked.

Speaker 2:
[23:03] And they think that they're doing it better and more righteously and the only correct way to do it. But their only correct way to do it involves taking an image of an IDF soldier and being like, this is Jewish, this is what Jewish people are, this is Judeo, you know, like, and it's like, that's, come on, man. So the Onion does not own Infowars.

Speaker 1:
[23:32] Right.

Speaker 4:
[23:34] And like go over it, just Onion doesn't own us. But like, this is what I mean. We could not, not that we would anyway, but we could not start publishing things saying, we're in that, we're in BC, this is in BC saying that, you know, whatever. And just like saying so, like, we just couldn't do that. We'd get sued, it wouldn't be allowed. They're just doing it. This is the second time they've done it. Gone on TV and told people, we own Infowars. What do you think that's going to do? Obviously, people are going to believe it because it's on the news, because they actually are the liars. They actually are the fakers. They actually do just straight up lie to your face about things with the intention of destroying Infowars, of convincing people, oh, I better not support Infowars because they've been sold and I don't want to support The Onion.

Speaker 2:
[24:20] That argument does not hold up because The Onion can't demoralize the Infowars audience anymore at this point. Harrison's trying to pretend that The Onion is pretending to own Infowars so people stop buying Alex's supplements from Infowars, but Alex has already directed them to do that. Any true Infowars fans are already only buying from Biggley, so there isn't an audience that's being persuaded to stop buying shit because they don't want their money to go to The Onion. No one's buying shit from Infowars anymore, which is why they can't pay their rent, which is why The Onion was able to make this deal. If the Onion-controlling Infowars somehow impacted the Alex Jones store or Biggley, then this would be a different situation. But as it is, Alex has already self-inflicted all of the damage that Harrison is pretending The Onion is trying to do here. It's just a conspiracy with no point.

Speaker 3:
[25:11] Yeah. Wouldn't you be like, Yeah, do it, guys. We, anybody who is still straggling with moving from one platform to the other, you guys have helped us get rid of them. Now they have to move to Biggley. Otherwise, they're going to support The Onion.

Speaker 2:
[25:27] Yeah. Yeah. You have given us a high profile, putting us out of our misery.

Speaker 3:
[25:33] I would be stoked.

Speaker 2:
[25:35] Yeah. Yeah. I think on some level, they are. But I also, it's a mixed bag. It's a mixed bag, I think probably. There's a lot of pros to it, but then there's a lot of cons. You have a lot of people making fun of you. That's never fun.

Speaker 3:
[25:54] It kind of hurts. We've definitely proven that making fun of people can cost them money if you do it well enough.

Speaker 2:
[26:02] It hurts your feelings. It hurts feelings.

Speaker 3:
[26:04] Sure. I mean, the move is to lie and be real mad about it, and then secretly be like, hee-giddy about how they're giving you more money.

Speaker 2:
[26:16] So Harrison complains a bit more about the onion, and he is dull.

Speaker 4:
[26:24] This is the article from The Onion. At long last, Infowars is ours. And no, it's not that. Like, what are you talking about? But this is the thing. It just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because you understand they're the establishment. You understand the onion is the establishment. The onion is the bad guys. We don't take ourselves too seriously. We sell low IQ hats because we mock the whole idea of the establishment dictating to us what we can and can't say, can and can't believe.

Speaker 2:
[26:54] So to be clear, they sell low IQ hats because Alex is a bottom feeder who survives by monetizing any attention that comes his way. And he thought that getting insulted by the president was a pretty good opportunity.

Speaker 3:
[27:05] Yeah, great opportunity.

Speaker 2:
[27:06] The guy he spent a decade saying was brought to power by God called him an idiot. So he made a hat that you can wear that says idiot because you're a free thinker. And in fairness, Harrison is kind of right that the onion is the establishment, but that term really doesn't mean anything anymore. Trump is the establishment, CNN is the establishment, Elon Musk is the establishment, The Daily Show is the establishment. The establishment doesn't carry any kind of consistent position anymore. It's all just, it kind of just means well funded or not so desperate for money that you would sell a low IQ hat. Like it doesn't mean anything like it felt like it used to. Like the man doesn't, everyone's selling out. Everyone, like there's no shame in selling out anymore. It's not the world that we grew up in.

Speaker 3:
[27:56] Who's owned by the right billionaire? Like there's probably a billionaire that doesn't a billionaire own the onion and a billionaire owns CNN and a billionaire owns all that stuff. That's the establishment.

Speaker 2:
[28:07] If not owned, you know, has financial ties to, you know, or whatever.

Speaker 3:
[28:12] If you can't, the thing about it, right, is if you can call somebody to change their bullshit, then those people already operate under the idea that pleasing you involves changing their bullshit. So before you have to call and say anything, you have changed your bullshit. That's the way that that kind of functions.

Speaker 2:
[28:33] Yeah, there's a prior constraint that comes along with, or at least the image of that, the feel of that. And that's not to say that the onion isn't independent. I have no reason to believe that they don't have as much independence as you can have. But it would be silly to imagine that they're not connected to very rich people with strong interests and things too.

Speaker 3:
[28:58] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[28:58] So, I don't know. But like, so is Infowars. So like, are they the establishment too?

Speaker 3:
[29:05] Yeah, basically. I think we're the only people who are not the establishment.

Speaker 2:
[29:11] I think that they're not, but only because they're such dorks. Like, I think because they do things like sell IQ hats, the establishment doesn't want them. But Alex could still probably call some rich people. They just wouldn't give him money. They'd answer, but they wouldn't give him money.

Speaker 3:
[29:30] Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, the reason that selling out has to happen now is because it feels like the only way to get an established audience is by joining the establishment. Otherwise, you'll be like us and you'll kind of be really cool, but on the edge, on the outside.

Speaker 2:
[29:47] I don't know if I'm that cool, but I did find two lost nations in a day, which has to be a record. I found them.

Speaker 3:
[29:54] The Onion didn't find shit.

Speaker 2:
[29:56] Nope. So, in this next clip, Harrison, I would say, accuses Ben Collins, the CEO of The Onion, of a crime that could almost certainly sue Harrison for.

Speaker 4:
[30:08] Cool. But he's like, Ben Collins, who's the CEO of The Onion, is the one telling everybody that he purchased us. But again, it just, they can lie, they can misrepresent us, they can say that they're us, they can claim that they own us, nothing happens to them. They can rig a federal bankruptcy proceeding, and just nothing happens to them. They just get away with it. It really is crazy. And like that, to me, is the only like disheartening thing about this. So, you know, I don't really care about The Onion. I mean, for the record, I went ahead and asked Geroch today, Infowars has two times the traffic of The Onion, at least like on a monthly basis. And this is with The Onion having poured millions and millions of dollars trying desperately to regain the cultural cache that they have lost over the last several decades.

Speaker 2:
[31:00] I think Ben could sue Harrison for that. Like, Ben's almost certainly a public figure, so the defamation threshold is high. But Harrison's accusing him of a crime, and he absolutely knows that accusation is false as he's saying it. There's no way that this isn't defamatory. But more importantly, I'm glad that Harrison's robot friend reassured him that he was more popular than the Onion. It's interesting that he uses the metric of internet traffic, because the whole push of the new Onion has been to bring back the print version of the paper. It's not like they've abandoned the internet or stopped trying to get traffic, but their focus has been on the paper. And by anyone's count, that's been quite a big success. They've done a good job of bringing back the physical copy of the paper. Which makes me want to ask Harrison if he wants to go back to Grok and ask how the circulation of Infowars magazine is going, or if that hasn't existed in like 12 years because no one wanted it. But I have it. I got copies.

Speaker 3:
[32:04] Yes, you do. No doubt.

Speaker 2:
[32:06] Antiques. No, not quite. 12 years as an antique, but we're getting there.

Speaker 3:
[32:11] Yeah, I mean, I hate to say this, but as far as advertisements for not suing for defamation goes, I think where we are is about as good as it gets.

Speaker 2:
[32:24] Right, right. Well, I agree. And I think that it wouldn't be worth his time to sue. I only bring it up as like a part and parcel of what Harrison is doing is like, they get away with so much and we can't get away with anything. And just to highlight, you engage in casual defamation that no one even cares about because they know it would be too much trouble to deal with your dumbasses who don't cooperate in courts. So you get away with everything.

Speaker 3:
[32:54] Yeah, I mean, it must be said that that strategy is absolutely correct. And that the legal system is.

Speaker 2:
[33:05] I only want to change the word correct to useful.

Speaker 3:
[33:09] Useful. There we go. Much better.

Speaker 2:
[33:12] Correct implies it's what you should do, not that it's just that it's effective.

Speaker 3:
[33:17] I mean, if you're against the law.

Speaker 2:
[33:20] So Harrison reflects here a little bit that other times people have tried to parody Infowars.

Speaker 4:
[33:27] There was an attempt to do this. There was an attempt to do this on Comedy Central with a show, I can't even remember what it's called now, but they tried to do, because Colbert was good at this. Stephen Colbert could mock the right wing and it would be insightful and hilarious and funny. Well, and at the time he was mocking neocons, so it was easy. You know, it wasn't the populist right that it is now. And they thought they could do that again. They thought like, well, we struck gold with Colbert in the Colbert Report where he was playing basically, you know, Fox News anchor. And they thought, we'll do it again. You know, the landscape has changed. Fox News is a big threat. Infowars is now. So they had some show. I literally cannot remember the name of, guys, y'all know the dispatch or something. I can't remember what it was, but it was on for like a season or two. And they had all the papers and they had the microphone. They made it look like Infowars and it was a big Infowars parody. And nobody watched it, nobody cared about it. It failed.

Speaker 2:
[34:27] So that show was called The Opposition with Jordan Klepper. And I'm glad that Harrison reminded me of it, so I could go revisit some of the old segments that Tim Balz did as a citizen journalist.

Speaker 3:
[34:39] That's fun.

Speaker 2:
[34:40] I want Balz to have all the possible work in the world. He's the best. But if The Opposition hadn't gotten canceled, I might not have gotten Hey Randy. So I'm a little conflicted, and maybe I'm glad it went away, because Hey Randy is the greatest thing that has ever happened. It's fun for Harrison to say that the reason that satire of the current right wing doesn't work is because they're too right about everything. But the reality is that their content is just too stupid to parody. His boss thinks God tells him what time it is in the middle of the night, so he'll know it's really God who's sending him on missions. That's the reality of Harrison's life and work situation, and there's no joke funnier than him pretending that he deserves to be taken seriously. Like, the existence of it is a great joke. Also, The Opposition may have been canceled after one season, but there's definitely one pretty successful, widely listened to, generally fairly funny show that criticizes Infowars that's been going for about nine years now. So I think it would be wise for Harrison to understand that where his views and world may be so dumb that traditional satire has a hard time mocking it, we don't. We are fine. We got this.

Speaker 3:
[35:52] We're darn good at it.

Speaker 2:
[35:54] We have some practice. But yeah, maybe it doesn't work on... You know what? Here's the thing. Yeah. The opposition on Comedy Central would absolutely work if they started a supplement company. Sure. Like, if they found that kind of funding, like, doing it as a actual TV show is... It's going to fail. But so would Infowars. Infowars wouldn't succeed as a TV show either. The sponsors would get pulled constantly. It would never fly on network television.

Speaker 3:
[36:29] I mean, I think what we need to do here is just disambiguate work in terms of... Because I think a lot of people have a different definition while we're saying different things about the same word. Like, what does work mean? Does it mean long-running show? Does it mean three seasons is working, that it was produced at all? Is that mean it works? Is it successful at accomplishing its goal but in not popularly? You know, like any number of these definitions of work could be applied. I'm not sure what these people or what any of us really think would be working. Is it really like the destruction of Infowars is the only reasonable definition of work that we are all kind of operating by?

Speaker 2:
[37:20] I don't know. I think probably getting some blows in. You know, like that seems to me like what the... I think that Harrison feels unscathed by the opposition.

Speaker 3:
[37:32] If we're scoring the boxing match, we've got a lot of jabs, but we don't have any real hits.

Speaker 2:
[37:41] Yeah, or seems slightly threatening to... Like, I think that the people who are doing that show, their definition of work would have been, can we make a good television program out of this? Yeah. And I think on some nights they did, and on some nights it wasn't as good. I don't know, I didn't watch it regularly, but, I mean, like I said, Tim Balz is fucking great. Any show with him on it is not that bad.

Speaker 3:
[38:09] You know what just occurred to me? It just occurred to me that all of their dumb language, you know that dumb thing where they're like, watch who you can't criticize if you're worried about who's oppressing you or anything like that? We're the only people that nobody speaks the name of.

Speaker 2:
[38:27] It does kind of make you think that we are running Infowars, right?

Speaker 3:
[38:32] I mean, no one is speaking our name. Nobody will say our name.

Speaker 2:
[38:36] If the people you can't criticize are the people who really rule over you, then we must be the shadow puppeteers of Infowars.

Speaker 3:
[38:45] Right?

Speaker 2:
[38:46] That's a good point.

Speaker 3:
[38:47] If you're commanded not to speak about us, it's hard not to say.

Speaker 2:
[38:53] So this next clip I think is just shocking and really, really gross.

Speaker 4:
[38:59] Oh, yeah. So Ben Collins is, I don't know who this guy is. I'm looking him up and he's like, he was the censor at NBC. He'd basically go on and cry that people are allowed to say things that he disagreed with. And it's actually kind of funny because he would go on NBC and talk about COVID-19 or the vaccine or whatever else. And now you can go back and look and be like, oh, yeah, he was wrong about all of that stuff. Because that's what his job was. His job was to go up and silence people telling the truth. That's 100% actually what he did. But you know, the whole Israel war thing has kind of thrown all of the old alliances and dividing lines into flux. And so I'm looking, and Ben Collins apparently got a lot of heat for reporting on the, I think it was the Al-Shira, might be getting that wrong. But it was that first hospital that was bombed by Israel in Gaza. And, you know, it was ridiculous because they had just been carpet bombing everything, taking credit for it. And then they hit a hospital and they're like, what? Us? No way. Absolutely not. And so I give Ben Collins credit for the fact that he reported the story in the first place, but he didn't claim it was Israel that did it. And then when people like pushed back on him, he's like, oh, I never said, I never said that it was Israel that did it. I just think people need to know that people died. And I'm just, so it's like, we actually do what you do, but better and more courageously, you little rat, you little coward, you little scumbag bootlicking queer, trying to be nice. I'm trying to use nice words.

Speaker 1:
[40:38] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[40:39] Twink. I'm sorry. Twink is the right word. Thank you, crew. Apparently he's married to that cat, Abigail Gazzela woman or whatever, who had that just utterly embarrassing congressional campaign where she would like sleep through appearances she was supposed to have and be like, I have narcolepsy. Stop. Stop mocking me. Yeah. We're going to see another sad onion. We're going to see another sad onion here pretty soon. I have the feeling. So, but like, this is weird. So I wonder if Ben Collins, who were very like in a cowardly and tepid, just faggity sort of way, refused to actually report what he believed because he was scared of the backlash. See, I actually reported the obvious fact that Israel bombed a hospital because I'm not a coward. All right. So they claim to believe things. They claim to be on the side of the underdog. They claim to be fighters for truth. They claim to be engaged in an information war. But they're liars, they're cowards. And when they lose the information war, they wage a financial lawfare, the series of attacks against us, and then lie about their success because they're everything that they say we are. It's pure projection across the board.

Speaker 2:
[41:52] This is wild stuff. For one thing, Cat does have narcolepsy. And the campaign that Harrison is calling pathetic was probably one of the most anti-Israel government campaigns that a non-Nazi has run for public office in my lifetime. I don't know why he would want to... If he was a sincere critic of Israel and APEC donating to candidates, I don't know why he wouldn't be on board with what Cat did. Obviously, a lot of this is just personal attacks, and Harrison is super angry, but I think this also enters into territory that isn't fair. Cat has been one of the larger public in the media voices who's been very clear about Gaza from the beginning and ran a campaign for Congress that pulled no punches on it, and Ben was with her and publicly supported her the whole way. To pretend that he's in some way afraid to criticize Israel is nonsense, and this is Harrison being out of his lane. I'm not going to defend every story that Ben ever reported in his career, but in this case, Harrison is not being fair. After the explosion at this hospital in Gaza, the New York Times published a headline saying, Israeli strikes kill hundreds in hospital, Palestinians say. Ben went on the news and reported on this story, and later that headline from the Times was changed to, hundreds dead in blast at Gaza Hospital, Palestinians say, taking away the Israeli strike part of it, which wasn't even something the headline was reporting, it was still part of what the Palestinians said, but even so, the Times still walked it back. So Ben got attacked a ton for not correcting himself after the headline was changed because they thought the critics and people who were coming down on him were saying that he was being too critical of Israel. This is the beef that he had then that Harrison is misrepresenting. Harrison may be able to say that he himself, as always, said that Israel bombed that hospital, but I know that Alex didn't. If he's so mad about what Ben Collins did, how can Harrison possibly work for a guy who said this?

Speaker 1:
[44:03] Trapper, all the drama yesterday, it turns out the Gaza hospital wasn't bombed. The parking lot was, and 500 people didn't die. Oh, and the rocket wasn't from Israel, it was from a failed rocket. The Palestinian terrorist shot at Israel. Absolutely insane, says Robbie Starbuck on Twitter. Yeah, that's a true statement. And here's a radar track, and by the way, the Palestinians don't deny this, they've had over 400 rockets fall and explode that they launched on their own territory in just the last year. And so that's what they're doing. When you're firing hundreds of rockets over a hospital and one of them doesn't work right, well, what do you do? Well, you just go to the CNN and tell them Israel did it.

Speaker 2:
[44:53] So what about that, Harrison? How do you deal with that? Like, you've worked for that guy for three years after that point. Your identity is based on pretending he's the tip of the spear. What's your criticism of that if you're so mad that you got to resort to gaybashing slurs to try to attack Ben? Like, it's nonsense.

Speaker 3:
[45:14] We can have a difference of opinion. That's no problem. But the problem is that it's a woman. A woman can't have a difference of, frankly, a woman having an opinion at all. Very threatening.

Speaker 2:
[45:26] A woman or a man that has been deemed effeminate in a way that Harrison wants to depict as gay.

Speaker 3:
[45:36] It is really good of that to help us, though, understand the way they view gender. As you have this concept of the lies that they've told you, but it's them and anybody who is slightly less physically oppressive than them are men. And then everybody who can be hit is a woman.

Speaker 2:
[45:56] Alex, if you yelled at him about saying that this Palestinian hospital was not attacked by his... If you complained about his coverage, he might hit you or scream at you. Whereas, Ben Collins would politely disagree with you and maybe argue... So...

Speaker 3:
[46:13] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's basically it.

Speaker 2:
[46:17] Awesome. Life's good.

Speaker 3:
[46:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:21] So, I think that Harrison really needs to reflect on that. All of his criticisms, were they valid, would have led him to quit his job by now. And the fact that he hasn't kind of invalidates the idea that he cares.

Speaker 3:
[46:37] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:38] So, I think that one of Harrison's big problems is that the onion isn't funny. And obviously, it's a matter of taste.

Speaker 3:
[46:48] Is that a big problem for him in his personal life, or is it a big problem because he's angry about how they're not funny? Or is it something that he's grateful they're not funny for, giving him the opportunity to mock them?

Speaker 2:
[47:01] I think the middle one, and I think he thinks the last one.

Speaker 3:
[47:05] Gotcha.

Speaker 2:
[47:05] He's wrong. As we find, when he decides to start reading onion headlines to prove they're not funny.

Speaker 4:
[47:14] Pentagon develops tactical zoot suit. Okay, very timely, very, very clever. Okay. US fertility rate plummets to pre-Nick Cannon levels. Hilarious, it's absolutely hilarious. Okay, this is where they take actual serious issue, and then, I was gonna say make a joke out of it, but jokes are supposed to be funny. Man who threw malt off cocktail at Sam Altman's home claims he was following Chachiputti recipe for risotto. Hilarious. I can't stop laughing. That's so funny. I'm silently laughing right now. That's what you're hearing.

Speaker 3:
[47:59] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[48:00] So, like, what even is this?

Speaker 2:
[48:03] I don't know, man. So, I think that, like, that I regret to inform you that it is Jafar, that clickhole article.

Speaker 3:
[48:12] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[48:13] Do you know that one?

Speaker 3:
[48:14] Huh.

Speaker 2:
[48:16] It's one of the best internet things that has ever existed. Okay. It is just a slew of we regret to inform you that we take no pleasure in this. It's Jafar. And then there's a picture of Jafar. And then there's another sort of, like, we tried to avoid this, but circumstances out of our control have led to it being Jafar. And it just goes on. It's great. It's one of the funniest things ever. But I could deliver it dryly and act confused about it, and then it wouldn't be funny.

Speaker 3:
[48:49] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[48:50] So, some of these headlines, maybe they're not the onions' best work, but if you're gonna read it like that, of course they're not gonna be funny.

Speaker 3:
[48:57] Well, what I like best about it is that even if you don't think they are funny, or the lines themselves are not delivered with the kind of style they need to be, him reacting to them is fucking hilarious. Trying so hard to not enjoy something is funny on its own face. Like, there were a couple of times where it's like, he knows that's... he was even delivering it with the end little punchline being, ah shit, that's pretty good. And then he has to pretend that he hates it.

Speaker 2:
[49:27] And I think that there's an inherent problem too, which is that they are supposed to believe that the onion is like this woke-skolled kind of like, everything is super PC thing. And then they're making a joke about Nick Cannon having a lot of kids. Like, you would think that that wouldn't be within the realm of what those censorious people would allow, you know, like, this is, nah, I don't know about this, ugh.

Speaker 3:
[49:53] When he said after it, and this is one where they take some serious issue and kind of try and make a joke out of it, I was like, is Nick Cannon having too many kids a serious issue now?

Speaker 1:
[50:04] Have we reached that point?

Speaker 2:
[50:06] Oh, he's talking about white children.

Speaker 3:
[50:09] Have the 70s kind of come back and been like, dude, Nick Cannon is causing the overpopulation crisis. Let's face it.

Speaker 2:
[50:15] The population bomb. So I think that Harrison is maybe talking too much about this. That his problem is that they're not funny. If only they were funny, Jordan, then everything would be all right.

Speaker 4:
[50:30] This is the most offensive part. If they were funny, I wouldn't have an issue with it. If they're actually capable of taking what we believe and making fun of it and making it funny. And we're sitting next to a low IQ hat. You think we take ourselves all that seriously? No, the things we talk about are serious. And we believe that, just like the people from The Onion believe that. Of course, the way they approach it is a fabricated, faux, assumed countenance of being above it all and just mocking people who care about anything. But like, say the n-word to them, see what they care about. See if they care. See how mad they get. We need to violate one of their precious cultural norms. These people are not freethinkers. They are not even funny. But they're certainly not like saying anything profound or providing insight into anything going on in the world.

Speaker 2:
[51:25] But they would be if they used slurs. Like, I don't know, man. This is stupid.

Speaker 3:
[51:31] Does that mean that they have to think we're funny? Because the way they responded to it is due to the fact that we were funny, right? They have to believe that.

Speaker 2:
[51:44] What? Say more of what you mean.

Speaker 3:
[51:46] I mean, with formulaic objections. Based on his own logic, they have to believe we are funny.

Speaker 2:
[51:54] At least someone does.

Speaker 3:
[51:55] Right?

Speaker 2:
[51:56] I don't know. Rob Do probably didn't enjoy his time in the sun. But someone had to recognize that was pointed in a way that caused damage to them through humor. So whether or not they thought it was haha funny, they thought it was funny in a way that meant something.

Speaker 3:
[52:17] That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:
[52:18] Because it changed behavior.

Speaker 3:
[52:19] They should have been okay with it. That's my point here. If the Onion being would have been okay with their bullshit, if they were actually funny, then by admitting that we are actually funny by changing their behavior, they actually shouldn't have changed their behavior because they're okay with it, because we're actually funny.

Speaker 2:
[52:39] Maybe being okay with it is actually, what it means is a begrudging, kind of like, all right, rare.

Speaker 3:
[52:46] Okay. All right.

Speaker 2:
[52:49] Maybe it's not actually being okay with it. And more like, maybe actually what he's trying to express is, I'm really desperate to find ways to complain about this that don't make me look like a loser. And that's kind of, you know, they're not even funny is a good way to pretend that like, not only am I not mad, I'm so not mad that I'm cool and I wish they were funnier.

Speaker 3:
[53:11] Yeah, yeah, I have to, I have to say that I'm, I mean, it can't be said any other way. I regret, I regret to let you know that it is Jafar.

Speaker 2:
[53:20] I wish, you know, Louis CK was taken over. He says words, you know. I wish Michael Richards was taken over. He says words.

Speaker 3:
[53:28] I wonder if, I wonder if we're there yet. I wonder if we're at the point where you can buy a comedian to say the words that you want, right?

Speaker 2:
[53:38] I don't know if we were not ever there.

Speaker 3:
[53:40] Well, okay, that's a fair point. That's a fair point.

Speaker 2:
[53:44] There was a lot of really famous people who were on Cameo because some comedians don't make nearly as much as you imagine they do.

Speaker 3:
[53:51] Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'm just more thinking, are we at the place where you're on stage wearing like a F1 badge of advertising kind of thing? By the way, this set is brought to you by Petronas or whatever it is.

Speaker 2:
[54:07] There may be subtle ways that that is already happening. I mean, everyone's podcast has sponsors.

Speaker 3:
[54:14] Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2:
[54:14] So many comics have podcasts.

Speaker 3:
[54:16] I got a new five minute orange juice bit that really just makes you want to buy orange juice.

Speaker 2:
[54:22] Brought to you by Tropicana. So the moment I got to be honest, this show sucks. Harrison is a whiny little punk and I don't care about him at all. He's illustrating why no one would care if this went away. And of course, the tension is where's Alex? Is Alex going to show up? Everyone wants Alex to show up. And so finally, about an hour and a half each into the show, Alex shows up.

Speaker 4:
[54:51] And all that we ask is that you go to the alexjoneser.com. That's it. That's the way that we get funding. That's the way that we stay on air. Unlike The Onion, who's got all this backing and all this crap. Uh oh. Folks, The Onion has stolen the shirt off of Alex Jones's back. That's a sad thing to see.

Speaker 3:
[55:10] There it is.

Speaker 4:
[55:11] Are you an employee of The Onion now, Alex?

Speaker 1:
[55:13] No, we laugh about this, but a year and a half ago, they announced that they now owned us.

Speaker 4:
[55:19] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[55:20] And it was all fraud. This time, they've had a court hearing, and they're announcing they own us.

Speaker 2:
[55:25] To paint you a picture, Alex has slowly lumbered onto the set wearing no shirt, standing behind the desk while Harrison looks on and tries to maintain his self-respect. Alex isn't sitting at the desk, so his face isn't well-lit, and he's just a topless man complaining in the shadows. What is clearly visible on the desk, however, is a hat that says, Low IQ. The feeling you get here is that Alex knew that everyone wanted to blow up, and he just can't muster the energy to do it. There's no point anymore. Like, all the customers who are going to migrate to the new store are already doing it, so if he blows up or not, the bottom line is the same. Sleepy Alex staggering in without a shirt feels like low effort, low commitment Infowars. It's checked out, and if anything, it gives the vibe of a drunk stepdad walking in from a midday nap to complain about something and bother you. That's really what it feels like. I think six years ago, five years ago, Alex walking in on the show, topless. Awesome. We are cooking with gas. Something's going to happen here. The elements are here for chaos. Now I see him stumble out of the control room into the studio, and I'm like, oh, man.

Speaker 3:
[56:52] A shaved Sasquatch. Somebody shaved a Sasquatch, and now it's ambling behind the camera, a little bit blurry, so we can't even see if it's actually a Sasquatch. Oh, God.

Speaker 2:
[57:04] It reminds me of June Diane Rayfield from How Did This Get Made. Sure. They were covering the James Bond movie, View to a Kill, and Bond is the guy who plays pretty old in that movie. She was talking about how he's doing these adventures and bedding these women, and getting in a hot tub. Her feeling while watching, it was like, no, no, you're old, you can't do this. You're going to get hurt. You're going to get heartburn. No, no, no, you've got to be more careful. And that's kind of how I feel about Alex coming out without a shirt in 2026. It's kind of like old James Bond. It's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't fun and sexy and dangerous anymore. It's just kind of like, oh, hmm.

Speaker 3:
[57:55] I think it would be better if we weren't aging. If we weren't also aging, it wouldn't be a reminder of the possibilities that life will fucking bear upon you over time. But, you know, he doesn't use lotion, and I feel like that's a big issue.

Speaker 2:
[58:13] I think he probably does use lotion, and it's made from krill. It's made from chaga mushrooms and the greatest methylene yellow.

Speaker 3:
[58:25] He's missing it. I got a 15-minute Juergens bit that would really get to him.

Speaker 2:
[58:31] Brought to you by Nivea.

Speaker 3:
[58:35] Juergens sucks. Nivea rules.

Speaker 2:
[58:39] So Alex tries to do a little bit of a riff about his shirt. They took his shirt and that.

Speaker 3:
[58:45] Oh, yeah, I get you. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[58:48] I would say that this bit is dead on arrival.

Speaker 1:
[58:51] Look, just because you're wearing my shirt. Don't mean you're me. So let's be 100 percent clear about that. And so you guys just keep laughing. It's like you did a year and a half ago, or it was November 20, 24. Was that about a year and a half?

Speaker 4:
[59:06] Yeah, this is a story from December 10th. The sale of Alex Jones Infowars to The Onion rejected. And I'll get into this.

Speaker 1:
[59:11] Yeah, so just but yeah, they need to be us to confuse people. By the way, it's a total failure. It's over the fifth biggest newspapers. That's a lie. Newspapers are all dead. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[59:22] I looked it up. The Onion gets less than half of the traffic that Infowars gets.

Speaker 2:
[59:26] Grock told me I talked to my robot friend. Did you look it up? I talked to robots. They said I was cooler.

Speaker 3:
[59:35] Why would a Grock tell you the truth?

Speaker 2:
[59:37] Why would a Grock tell you? That's a good setup for a bit.

Speaker 3:
[59:42] Now, why would a Grock tell you that you're doing well?

Speaker 2:
[59:48] It's a Grock.

Speaker 3:
[59:50] If you say Infowars is getting a lot of traffic, you might be a Grock.

Speaker 2:
[59:54] Here's another. A Grock will tell you this. Chat GPT will be all like this.

Speaker 3:
[60:02] Oh, oh, man, we're doing real shit now.

Speaker 2:
[60:06] Chat GPTs be shopping. I think that there's some something there. I'll go find a comedy club here in Iowa and test this out.

Speaker 3:
[60:21] I think it'll be a lot less aggressively race-basing than the old Def Jams.

Speaker 2:
[60:29] Sure.

Speaker 3:
[60:29] But those were delightful.

Speaker 2:
[60:31] It'll be biased along AI lines. So Alex, he's talking about the Onion and how they're working with the people who are working with Trump now. Sure. And he sort of just wanders off plugging.

Speaker 4:
[60:49] No, it's ridiculous. And again, yeah, they just do it. They get away with it.

Speaker 1:
[60:53] The Paul Weiss law firm ran all this. Trump settled with them. They settled, and now Trump's on their side.

Speaker 4:
[60:59] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[60:59] So, hey, feel good, guys. You're on Trump's side. You said it was so bad.

Speaker 4:
[61:02] Exactly. No, that's exactly it. They are literally on the bad guy's side. So, yeah, it's going to fail.

Speaker 1:
[61:08] Wait, we don't own theownedshow4.com. That's how they back us. That's how they keep us on air. You can't get that.

Speaker 2:
[61:14] He's yelling from across the room, hey, we don't own that one. That's the time to tell people to go buy from another place where I can get the money. It's a mess. Just a bad look.

Speaker 3:
[61:26] That's a lot like when you ask the, hey, buddy, how about you go watch football? You ask your uncle one Thanksgiving Day, and then he hears your conversation from across the room and still starts shouting bullshit at you. And you're like, we tried to get rid of you! Leave us alone!

Speaker 2:
[61:45] I thought you were napping. I thought you were day drunk and you passed out. What the fuck?

Speaker 3:
[61:49] Please, get more day drunk.

Speaker 2:
[61:52] I think that there's something interesting too, about like 10 years into this phase of Infowars, and being like, congratulations, Onion. Now you're on the side of the guy that I cried about and said, God sent me on missions for.

Speaker 3:
[62:06] I'm very confused. I'm not sure where I stand anymore. I've done a lot of things that betray any principles I wants to have. And that means you're stupid.

Speaker 2:
[62:17] You like the guy who I gave up everything for, and that means you're dumb.

Speaker 3:
[62:22] I literally gave him the shirt off my back, rendering this bit ironically poignant.

Speaker 2:
[62:30] There is just something so beautifully, Alex, about yelling a plug as you stagger away from the desk, though. That feels like, if we ever, a last shot of Alex that could ever exist, it would be good if it's that. That seems like his, he could disappear into the woods, and no one has heard of him since he plugged. You know, like, it would fit.

Speaker 3:
[62:54] Right, because he stops shaving, and then he's just a regular Sasquatch. He returns to his people once he came.

Speaker 2:
[63:01] Well, I mean, we've gotten now to a point where he has no heroes.

Speaker 3:
[63:05] Ah, that's true.

Speaker 2:
[63:07] So, meh. So, Harrison gets back to work, and then about 10 minutes later, Alex shows back up with a shirt, and is boring as hell, and we're not gonna play any of it. But there's like, he's talking about how he doesn't like wealth, and it's like, we have your watches, man. We know what kind of lifestyle you're living.

Speaker 3:
[63:29] There is no way to not say that you are into wealth with an expensive watch. Like that, the watch itself is an expression of how you want people to view you as wealthy.

Speaker 2:
[63:43] Yeah, we each have one of his watches. And I have texts that he's sent about luxury items that he buys and stuff. So come on, fuck all this nonsense.

Speaker 3:
[63:53] Oh, no, if I ever put a watch on that that was, I don't even particularly have any interest in wearing one of those smart watches. They're too much for me. I don't like it.

Speaker 2:
[64:05] Yeah, I like a Fitbit, but that's just because I like the gamification of it.

Speaker 3:
[64:09] See, a Fitbit is for broke people. Yeah, a Fitbit is a broke person thing. That's cool. I'm cool with a Fitbit.

Speaker 2:
[64:16] Hell, yeah, I'm still cool. So this is where we're going to end our little jaunt with Harrison, but I think you need to, you know, in the interest of completeness for the day and what happened, you definitely need the Alex with his shirt off coming back. We need that to be part of the canon. But it's diminishing returns. It's underwhelming a bit.

Speaker 3:
[64:40] It's deflationary. I mean, it's almost like he's devaluing the, like Bert Kreischer, he has to have his shirt off. It's meaningless. If he wears a shirt, it's meaningless. But Bert Kreischer has deflated his currency of shirtlessness so much, it's a trillion dollars just to buy a laugh with a shirtless man.

Speaker 2:
[65:01] Can I actually, well, you know, you phrased that in such an interesting way. I think that Bert Kreischer has made shirtlessness incredibly valuable, but only for him. It's devalued it for other people, but it's essential to his act.

Speaker 3:
[65:18] That's fair, that is fair. You're right, that's more close to what I was trying to express.

Speaker 2:
[65:24] Yeah, yeah, it's a weird money that only works for him.

Speaker 3:
[65:27] Yes, yes, there we go. Now it makes sense.

Speaker 2:
[65:31] And I don't know, I think that if Alex was way more out of shape, it would be good. Or if he was at his point when he was the most shredded, it would be good. But he's kind of in between now, too. So it's like no one's blown away by looking at him without a shirt.

Speaker 3:
[65:45] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:45] So it's not even shocking. I don't know, anybody care? No.

Speaker 3:
[65:51] No. It's hard to think that far in advance, though. If you think you should be shredded for an appearance like this, you've got to be working for a few years previously, you know? That's a kind of reduction in weight and increase in steroids. Yeah. Well, fair enough. Man, I don't know how the drugs work anymore. I'm too old.

Speaker 2:
[66:15] I don't know if those are ones you ever knew about. Yeah. So we'll check in. We'll see, first of all, if I find any more lost nations. And then if, you know, how things go as this deteriorates over at Infowars. And we get closer to the 30th, which appears to be when things are going to, the lights are going to turn off and such.

Speaker 3:
[66:39] So let me ask you a question. If you stop in a city named Persia, is that equivalent to a city named Lost Nation?

Speaker 2:
[66:50] Probably be similar. I might have driven through a Persia. I know I drove through at least a couple cities that had names that were like Midas or things that were like, this is the ancient world.

Speaker 3:
[67:03] Right, so it's the lost region.

Speaker 2:
[67:06] I think Iowa, yes. It is.

Speaker 3:
[67:08] Yes. Iowa is the lost state.

Speaker 2:
[67:12] Yeah. But I'm going to continue to have some fun, fuck around, find some stuff, and I'll check back in on my findings. But until then, we have a website.

Speaker 3:
[67:25] Indeed we do. It's knowledgefight.com.

Speaker 2:
[67:27] Yep. We'll be back. But until then, I'm Neo, I'm the OMDZX Clark. I am the Mysterious Professor.