transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:17] Hey, Tanneritos, welcome back to How Rude Tanneritos. Jodie is off for a few weeks, so I have the mic to myself today. And if you heard my interview with Will Friedle last week, you know I've created a new mini-series called TGIF Thank Goodness I'm 50, where I sit down with some familiar faces from the 80s and 90s and get real about what this stage of life really feels like. I am so excited about today's guest. She truly lights up a room with her infectious smile and free spirit energy. It's Soleil Moon Frye. You know her as the titular character in Punky Brewster, or Roxy from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, or the voice of Zoe on The Proud Family. Soleil is turning 50 this August, so this felt like the perfect time for this conversation. Please welcome Soleil.

Speaker 2:
[01:11] Hello. Hi. Oh my God. This makes me so happy.

Speaker 1:
[01:17] Hi, Soleil. How are you?

Speaker 2:
[01:20] I'm good. I'm so happy to see you guys.

Speaker 1:
[01:22] Look at your beautiful face. It's been about two years since we saw each other in person at the glamping experience with Jodie.

Speaker 2:
[01:30] That is not two years ago.

Speaker 1:
[01:31] It was almost two years ago in May. I know, right? It feels like it was just a few months ago, but we had so much fun with Christine Lakin and Beverly Mitchell and you and me and Jodie. We played silly games and ate s'mores. It was so fun.

Speaker 2:
[01:48] Very special, special time.

Speaker 1:
[01:50] Yeah, it was. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. This is a new segment I've just started and I'm calling it TGIF. Thank goodness I'm 50. Because this is something I want to talk about. You know, you're turning 50 in August, right? And I'm turning 50 in July.

Speaker 2:
[02:12] How is that even possible? Because I am still in my mind. I don't know about you. I mean, I feel like, you know, reverse aging, I'm like 25, but 50 is good. It's also really exciting. I'm like, wow, this is going to be amazing.

Speaker 1:
[02:25] It doesn't feel real, does it? It doesn't feel like we're entering our sixth decade.

Speaker 2:
[02:30] I see us now, and I also see us then. So it's beautiful and it's sweet and wonderful. And I still feel like such a kid in so many ways. And yeah, I think it's fun. I'm embracing it. One of my dear friends, Melissa, just turned 15. I saw these adorable videos that she posted. Oh yeah, yeah. This is awesome. But I just also can't believe it because I see us and I feel like we're like still 18.

Speaker 1:
[03:00] So true, so true. So you're embracing it. I know some people like kind of have their head in the sand about it. They're ignoring it. Some people are dreading it.

Speaker 2:
[03:08] I also do feel like I'm embracing it while also still feel like I have some like teen filled moments. I feel pretty useful a lot of the time, thankfully. I try to do things that make me continue to, you know, just drink up life.

Speaker 1:
[03:29] Yeah. And you have four kids, two of whom are adult children. Is that correct?

Speaker 2:
[03:35] Shockingly, yes. So my oldest daughter is in college and my 18 year old, turned 18, is starting college.

Speaker 1:
[03:46] Oh, my gosh. I'm right there with you. I'm new at this. I have two kids, 22 and 19, which has just been like, how do we have adult children? Like, it's such a weird barometer of time watching them grow. And now I'm like, oh, now they're launched, sort of. They're sort of launched as much as they can be.

Speaker 2:
[04:07] It's so wild. And I still have a 12 and nine year old. So I still have like my littler ones at home. But it's funny because they're boys. And so it's like this wild thing of, I'm like, oh my goodness. I had boys and girls, and now there's like all this boy energy in the house. And I'm like, oh my goodness, this is so wild. And it's like with the girls growing up, it was just, it was different, it's wild. And so I'm going through different stages of parenting, and I'm probably different at different stages as well.

Speaker 1:
[04:40] Oh yeah, you wear a million different hats at every single stage of childhood and parenthood. That's a lot. So I admire you so much for that. You.

Speaker 2:
[04:52] I do really remember having so much fun with you guys at our glamping fun adventure. And I really, really love that you've always been so kind to me and I really appreciate that.

Speaker 1:
[05:05] Well, same, there's something about us child actors where we have this kindred spirit, this shared childhood experience, even though we were on different shows, we probably went through a lot of the same things. And that's got me thinking a lot about like identity as I approach 50 years old. I'm just thinking about how we started in television so young. And when you start on television at age seven for you, and I was 10 when I started on Full House, people sort of, they kind of meet you before you and they really know who you are yourself. So do you feel like you got to discover your identity naturally, or do you feel like it was sort of shaped by the industry early on from the very beginning?

Speaker 2:
[05:52] I was so fortunate to be a part of this incredible family that came from the art, you know, my dad was an actor and a civil rights activist, my mom was a political activist and food artist. We always really had like a really open door policy in home that had so many artists in and out. And I was really shy when I was little. And then I grew up watching my brothers and my dad, and I was like, oh, I want to try this. But I was really, I was so shy. And so my mom didn't know if I was going to come out of my shell. And I really did, acting really allowed me the opportunity to, I think, to go on this self discovery. And then at seven years old to start Punky, like six or seven, it was just such an amazing experience. And I loved, loved making that show so much. And Punky has always been such a part of my heart. You know, I always say, I'm like, they call me Punky forever. I'll be so proud. Because it really was just a true joy. And we were also really able to be kids the whole time we did it. So it was like, we rode scooters around the set and it was very unorthodox. Because, you know, when we played hide and seek, like we might be in Johnny Carson's office, but you know, like the kids would like hide in the office and stuff, it was crazy. But it was really fun. And I think it was really important because we really did have our childhood. So I have so many happy, joyful memories of that time. And I'm really grateful. With that said, I do think that when you are a child, so often like the world wants to keep you little forever. So when I went through my teen stage and my awkward stages, that was much more layered for me because I was just, you know, going through puberty and all the things that kids do. And I struggled a lot through those stages and became much more insecure as the years went on and then it took me time.

Speaker 1:
[08:04] Right. I think that's definitely a rite of passage that I think all teenagers go through is feeling so insecure and that everyone's looking at me. But when it comes to child actors, everyone is actually looking at you. And so it just amplifies, at least for me, it amplified all of my insecurities times a thousand. And so I wonder if I would have been that insecure had I not been on television. Probably I would have been just as insecure. But it is something I think about from time to time.

Speaker 2:
[08:37] It's so wild, right? Because it's that common thread through that we all feel growing through different stages. And I think one of the incredible journeys with Kid 90 with making the documentary was that I felt so insecure, but I didn't realize that my friends were also feeling exactly the same way in different ways. But we were all going through these different stages in life. And at that time, I just don't think we spoke about it always. And I think a lot more things were hidden or not talked about as openly. Whereas now I feel like we're really working towards having conversations like this that are so important to allow us to not feel so alone or talking about turning 50 and like, what does that bring up for us? And just having the conversations, you know? Maybe we didn't have as often as kids growing up or feel like it was okay to have.

Speaker 1:
[09:40] Yeah, my mom never talked to me about what it was like in this second half of your life and going through menopause and all the changes and how the public interacts with you differently as you age. Like, we never had those conversations, but now we can with via Zoom or Instagram or podcasts. I mean, social media has kind of been a blessing and a curse that way. I sort of hate social media, but at the same time, it's made it easier access to have. These important conversations. So I'll choose to be grateful for it today. I'm glad you brought up Kid 90, because that's such an incredible personal time capsule of your formative years growing up. It's just, I forgot how much time everyone spent just hanging out, doing nothing with no supervision. Like you were like the original vlogger. Like it's so cool watching it. And you described it as opening Pandora's Box. And there's all this footage that you recorded as a teenager that you didn't watch for decades.

Speaker 2:
[10:48] Videos, audio, voicemails, diaries, like just, yeah, all of it in Tupperware.

Speaker 1:
[10:55] It's incredible. What made you finally feel ready to kind of open up that part of your life, which was in 2021?

Speaker 2:
[11:05] That is a great question. So I really, there's so much, it's such a, like so many things.

Speaker 1:
[11:14] The loaded question.

Speaker 2:
[11:15] Well, I was so protective over my friends growing up and that time. And for, there was so many of us that went on to really grow up and have these beautiful experiences. And then some of my really closest friends didn't make it. And there was a lot of loss and a lot of grief. And so I think in a way, like I just, a lot of it was like bearing those memories because it was so painful to go back and watch. And sometimes I would go and try to watch a video and I'd just be like, oh, I miss that person so much. Whether it was Jonathan Brandes or Justin Pearce or Harold Hunter. These were really fundamental people in my life. And so then I had a big birthday and I was at this stage in life where I was like, okay, I feel like I have all these joyful memories of my childhood. And also there was all this loss, like did things really happen the way I remembered them, I wondered. And also, I think really my inner being was on a journey of self-discovery at this time. I was turning old. And so wow, this is like a decade ago, I guess.

Speaker 1:
[12:33] Here we go, full circle.

Speaker 2:
[12:35] Hey, what's happening in my 50s? Because it was a really big time. But I think that I was at a time in life where that creative spark, just all of those things are like, who am I inside? I went on this journey. But I did not think that when I set out on it, that it was going to be anything about me. Really, I was trying to make it about everyone but myself, and it was documentary about my friends, and it was about the death of privacy. Had no idea it was going to be the death of my privacy. But it ended up, I mean, and it was the most healing, most cathartic journey. The thing was once I opened it, I wasn't able to put it back. So my life changed, my family changed. It started this journey of self-discovery that continued on that was just so unique. It was like my teen self and adult self, like we connected in a way. There's so many versions of ourselves throughout the years. There's the little, the kid in us, and the teenager, and all of these different stages. It was a really incredible time in which, I suppose, it was in a lining of the teenager that I was, and the adult that I had grown into, and I am still on that journey of self-discovery, and haven't worked out all the flaws. I'm still working through it. But-

Speaker 1:
[14:10] Same, girlfriend, same.

Speaker 2:
[14:12] But I hope we're always at least on that inner quest.

Speaker 1:
[14:17] Yeah. Did it feel a little bit like therapy for just figuring things out by talking about it out loud and creating art from your experiences as a young person? I'm glad it was healing, and it didn't just open up old wounds. Or maybe it did. I don't know. Tell me emotionally what this was like.

Speaker 2:
[14:44] Beautiful question, and thank you for being so kind around it. It did open up so much for me, and it was so healing to see the love that was there. I talk about this in the doc. It's like I knew how much I loved people and how much I cared about people, and I didn't realize there was so much love back. Just in that bubble of insecurity, because I had this amazing mom and family. And you know, but I still like, I didn't see it. And it was like, I remember there was this point and I was watching this footage of this teen love and I, and I'm watching it like 89 times. I'm like, am I imagining this love? And I remember the person, this incredible woman who was editing there sitting next to me. And she said, do you not see the way you guys are looking at each other? She's like, do you not see that love? And it was like the 90th time. And it was like these blinders came off. And I was like, oh my goodness, like this person that I loved so much loved me back. And it was just like having to like take all of these old beliefs away, you know? And that was so beautiful and so healing. And then the other side of it was, and also which is the polarity in life, right? Was that there were things that I didn't remember and that I had really locked away. It came up for me that brought up a lot of different things that I had just blocked out. So that then began like, okay, now a lot of the healing begins, you know, there's like a whole other stage of healing, right? Which is really when I started doing more meditation and having to go into like deeper parts of my self to heal through the things that had come up in the like aftermath. It was just like layer upon layer upon layer. I was like, oh, the healing work, it doesn't stop, right?

Speaker 1:
[16:48] It's a circular loop. Did you struggle with how much to share? Because some of those stories didn't involve just you, it involved other people's stories as well. So where do you find the line between, you know, protecting other people's privacy, but wanting to be really honest about your own story and growing up? How do you navigate that?

Speaker 2:
[17:12] The amount of support that, and I'll get emotional even talking about it, like the amount of support and friends and love that rallied around Kid90 was just, it was, it was so inspiring. And it just, it was one of the greatest experiences in my life to see from the friends that were in the videos to the musicians that came on board that were, I mean, I just felt like I kept pinching myself that I was working amongst like these giants, you know, I was just like, my goodness, like what a blessing. Like if my teenage self even knew, you know, what was gonna happen, I just, there was so much love, like so much love.

Speaker 1:
[18:08] That's so validating. What a, what a rewarding experience to go through that and to get the reception that you did from famous friends or from strangers too. You know, so many people responded positively to it.

Speaker 2:
[18:21] It was so, so incredible, the friends and then the people that I would meet. I remember someone that is so special to me who was in his 20s at the time and he looked at me after watching the film and he said, I've been that 17 year old girl in the pool. And I was like, yes, like, yes, like, oh, I was like such a, it was so amazing because in that moment our dear friend of mine shared a story that he was in the desert and he shared so many private moments in the documentary and he was checking out of a, you know, a cafe and there was his food delivery and it said, hashtag kid 90. And it was like someone who heard his story related to it. And I was like, oh my goodness, like, thank you. I mean, as an artist, like, you know, I think you have to do it for your own love and your own passion when the world then connects that way. I mean, it's just that feeling is, is, is just beyond, it's, it's just, it's so beautiful. And I strive to like continue sharing stories that I hope have a meaningful impact.

Speaker 1:
[19:40] It's a beautiful way to go through life is through storytelling and sharing your art and your heart. That's just, it's so wonderful. I love that. I want to pivot a little bit and talk about the wardrobe, the Punky Brewster wardrobe, because you and I both had characters that were known for very bold, colorful, eclectic wardrobe. And I didn't love my wardrobe. I had very complicated feelings around it. And so I'm curious to know your thoughts about your Punky Wardrobe at, you know, you were younger than I was on Punky Brewster. So maybe my teenage years, those angsty years might have had something to do with it. But tell me, did you love wearing the clothes? What do you feel about it?

Speaker 2:
[20:36] Oh my goodness. I did have so much fun. The wardrobe department on Punky was just, they were brilliant, they were amazing. They brought so much of the Punky spirit to life. And then the continuation, when we went back to revisit it, the phenomenal Mona May who carried it on. I mean, it was just, it has always been such a part of, literally, of the show of Punky, of my spirit. Literally, Punky is like my spirit animal that I lean into. I think I have worn the shoes almost every day since the continuation that I wore in the continuation, which I don't even know. I mean, those shoes have been worn at least 800 times. I have no idea. I love Punky. What's really funny, though, also, though, is that I was a really highly sensitive kid, and that probably has not changed. So things like tags and I don't know, I was very sensitive skin and all that. And so if you look at the early episodes, I swear Punky really had the baggy jean thing down. And I think a lot of that was because I didn't like anything tight. I was the kid that would show up at preschool with a t-shirt and nothing else. You know what I mean? It was one of my parents' t-shirts, but I'd have my cowboy boots and a t-shirt down on my ankles. That was what I would wear to school on a regular basis. You know, it was like, you know, it was babies. So, but when I look at early pictures, and I've had the great honor of doing some of these conventions, right?

Speaker 1:
[22:16] Where we have so much fun meeting people.

Speaker 2:
[22:21] I love seeing you there. And you look at these early pictures and like the back of the converse will be like cut down the bottom or the jeans will be like super baggy or like, as you can tell, like they were trying to make me comfortable, which is really sweet. I mean, bless that wardrobe.

Speaker 1:
[22:39] So iconic. So iconic.

Speaker 2:
[22:41] But you have, but you, I mean, I can imagine, well, I would imagine then going through like the stage of like being a teenager, you know, that I can understand how.

Speaker 1:
[22:53] Yeah, I think it was different because I was on Full House from ages 10 to 18. So all the awkward years right there. Also, because Kimmy was a supporting character, who was, she was meant to be annoying and disruptive and unlikable. And so I feel like the wardrobe was sort of making fun of the character, and not in a positive way. So whereas Punky was the lead of the show and everybody wanted to be her, and it was all just more positive, whereas Kimmy was just like, she's that weirdo wearing underwear on the outside of her tights. It was just very different. So I hated the wardrobe. I feel like that affected my style now. Like if I could just wear a uniform every day, like the same thing, and not have to have the mental load of choosing an outfit every day, I would be so happy. That's how Kimmy Gibbler influenced my current real life clothing style, is that I just don't think about it. I prefer not to. Did you find that similar? Did Punky's wardrobe influence your adult wardrobe?

Speaker 2:
[24:08] I suppose I probably dress pretty similar to how Punky would probably dress today, right? I mean, I think, I'm looking at it, I got like my, you know.

Speaker 1:
[24:17] Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 2:
[24:18] I love it. It's so fascinating. I think that's really, really, really incredible what you said, because it is so true. And I think of friends that have had like different struggles with characters that they've played and wardrobe. And I mean, my goodness, there's like a whole psychology you could like definitely explore through that, right? Because yeah, it really, it can't, it's so expressive, right, of who we are. And I think for me with Punky, she was such a survivor and like, you know, I love like in one of those early episodes when she's like, they're like, you know, two different shoes, I got two different feet, you know, like, and so I think for me, she really encouraged me to, you know, be myself and to be unique and all those things. And also has absolutely been like the part of myself that I lean into in my joyful moments and also in some of my hardest moments, you know.

Speaker 1:
[25:30] I want to touch on something that I think a lot of us, especially as women who grew up on camera, have had to navigate. And that's our relationship with our body bodies, our body image. Do you think that being on camera so young affected how you view your own body?

Speaker 2:
[25:51] I think it's a great question. And I would say that for sure it was part of it. I started developing really, really early. And so there's a lot of the shows or episodes that we did were very much part of our everyday lives of things that were happening in our lives as kids. And so Punky starts developing and they wrote it into the show. And she's like, I must, I must, I must, I must. You know, and all the kind of, and she goes to get the bra. So that was definitely like an early indication. And then, and then I just like developed so rapidly. From the time that I was like 12 to 14, it was just like, it was hard rapid. Puberty hit hard. And yeah, it was like, I was really blessed, like really blessed. And so by the time I was like 15, I mean, literally I was about 15 years old and my back was in so much pain. I had like indention in my shoulders, the whole thing. And so I had a breast reduction and I, you know, and I talk about this in Kid Nighty, like I thought, okay, I'm going to share this and hope that it can help other people. And I just don't think like the world didn't quite like respond. You know, people later, it turns out, like really responded beautifully and they shared their stories. But it kind of looked very salacious because they made it out. It looked like, it was different than what I had imagined. And so that was a really, like it felt like I was going through so many of the kind of awkward stages in a very public way. So yeah, so that definitely affected. And then also the roles that I was like getting then at that time, it was strange to go from like punky, which is so like wholesome. And it was, and then I remember I did Wonder Years and I had like, I was the developing girl and that was still okay. And then it was like, it was pretty much like movies that were more glorifying that aspect. It was also really fun because I got to like work with really fun people and there was something very fun about doing those like completely crazy like movies, like summer camp movies where you'd be like getting eaten by something under the water in a lake somewhere or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[28:21] Very dramatic.

Speaker 2:
[28:22] Or running through field and pumpkin head is like holding you up on a stick. There was something very fun to that entire time as well. So it was like a juxtaposition of like, oh my God, this is so much fun. And oh my God, this is so ridiculously. I mean, it was so because I wanted to be taken seriously. And then that's when I went to New York and went to the new school. And I was like, I'm gonna go to the new study.

Speaker 1:
[28:45] Oh yes, be a scholar. Yeah, a thespian and a scholar. So do you feel more at peace in your body now than you were when you were 15? Or even after your breast reduction, do you feel more comfortable in your own skin?

Speaker 2:
[29:03] I do very, very often. I really am so thankful and feel like I really can be present in the moment. And then I also have my moments where I can feel like I'm floating away and then I go, okay, let me bring myself back down, ground myself. So it's, I certainly do the best with the tools that I have.

Speaker 1:
[29:41] I think there's something about when you grow up being watched, it shapes how you see yourself physically in ways that you don't really even clock at that time. And so I've had to reframe my thinking a little bit too because I was so painfully thin as a child and I didn't feel like I was allowed to feel bad about it because that's what was in in the 90s was that heroin chic thinness. But I hated it. I hate it. I was the opposite. I was itty bitty, titty committee, until I got pregnant and finally grew boobs. So I think whatever end of the spectrum you're on, it's just awkward. It's hard. And I'm so glad that I am the age I am now. I would not want to go back for anything and feel that same sense of insecurity. I just, I feel great. I feel so much better in my own skin, you know, through all the menopause changes and everything. I feel, I feel good. And I'm glad to hear that it's similar for you.

Speaker 2:
[30:40] I love that. I mean, and I do think there's like, there are the elements of our life that like certainly ground us, you know? And I know for me, like walking and meditating and just, and work, I love, I love what I get to be a part of doing those. And my kids, of course, like, it's just, they're, they're just, and faith, and just so many things that, that really help ground me. I find my kids to be so grounding, even when it's wild, you know, that they're like very centering, you know, for my nervous system. And that, that's great. And then of course, it's totally wild. And, you know, there's skateboarding in the house. And I'm like, you know, so like, and those are the moments I'm like, and then I'm like, okay, back to center, you know, and I'm like, I just go meditate.

Speaker 1:
[31:34] Yes, my kids are often not good for my nervous system because I'm always feel a little rattled. What's gonna happen today? What dramatic thing is gonna happen?

Speaker 2:
[31:45] Well, and it's wild though. And then, and then it's like, you know, and then when the house, I mean, just it's so, the whole, it's very, it's interesting. It's gonna work for me, honestly. I love it so much. Like I love, love, love what I get to do so much that it's so, it's so much fun that it just, I just, yeah, I just, I love it. I love it. I'm so thankful every day.

Speaker 1:
[32:12] And we love that you love to do what you love because then we get to watch it and experience it alongside you. That concludes part one of my interview with Soleil Moon Frye. This was such a fun girl chat. So tune in next time for part two of this interview. And thank you for joining me on TGIF. Thank goodness I'm 50, where we still got it. We're just wearing more comfortable shoes.