transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:12] Hey, it's Brian Posehn, Nerd Poker. We're calling it The Fog Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, and of course, our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody, it's Brian Posehn. You're listening to Nerd Poker Episode. It's 66 last time. Yeah, what is it? What is it this time? Yeah, it's 68.

Speaker 2:
[00:52] No, it actually is 67. Oh my God.

Speaker 3:
[01:31] Brian, Chris, Brian, how do you do, fellow kids?

Speaker 1:
[01:35] Running the show from the cool part of the table, as always, Sam Everett.

Speaker 4:
[01:39] Hello, sweetest children.

Speaker 1:
[01:42] Six, seven. Six, seven.

Speaker 3:
[01:47] Excuse me.

Speaker 4:
[01:48] I was waiting to see if someone said it again. People forget you age a year every time someone does that bit around you.

Speaker 5:
[01:58] Yeah, that's a good movie.

Speaker 3:
[02:03] Benjamin Butthole.

Speaker 4:
[02:05] Hey, bring that TV back in the air so I can pitch. Folks, and by folks, I mean folks. Folks, I really want to thank everyone who listens to the show, but especially the folks over at patreon.com/nerdpoker. Oh my gosh, you're keeping the show alive. And if you're at those top two tiers, you've got usernames like Cavill. Thanks, Cavill. Love you as Cavill Ream. Thank you, Cumbia Zookeeper. Is that a pun, or is it just the word come?

Speaker 1:
[02:34] It's saying Cumbizooka, I don't remember.

Speaker 2:
[02:37] Oh, Cumbia Zookeeper.

Speaker 4:
[02:44] Wow, that's weird.

Speaker 3:
[02:46] My Lord, Cumbia Zookeeper.

Speaker 2:
[02:48] Oh, Cumbia Zookeeper is like, it's like, okay.

Speaker 4:
[02:51] Thank you. My name is Ames McKenzie, and I hate vans. The capital vans, like they have a letter Vans.

Speaker 1:
[03:00] And I have on the second floor.

Speaker 2:
[03:02] The shoes?

Speaker 6:
[03:03] The shoes?

Speaker 2:
[03:05] Why?

Speaker 6:
[03:06] They're comfy.

Speaker 4:
[03:07] I know, they sponsored Warped Tour. Dang. How could you do that? To the suicide machines and no effects. Thank you. And this relies on a mispronunciation of lich. But thank you. Lick ass Lee. Never going to give you up, Nerd Poker. Thank you. Luke the Husbatron, Jib Jabbas Prime. Thank you. Randacles. Thank you. WV French Fried.

Speaker 3:
[03:30] Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[03:30] Noomi.

Speaker 4:
[03:30] Thank you. Bronson Pinchot's Above Ground Tool.

Speaker 3:
[03:34] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[03:35] Pre-Haw can still get you pregnant.

Speaker 2:
[03:38] Oh, man.

Speaker 4:
[03:39] Thank you. A-Tab for Cutie. Just remember how pre-haw went. It's time to...

Speaker 3:
[03:45] It's the prequel to Hee Haw.

Speaker 4:
[03:50] Do you remember playing?

Speaker 3:
[03:51] I remember.

Speaker 4:
[03:51] Remember you said the joke backwards the first time?

Speaker 3:
[03:53] I remember.

Speaker 2:
[03:54] It's the perfect joke to say backwards.

Speaker 3:
[03:56] I remember it all. Let's take a look at that clip.

Speaker 5:
[04:00] Like standing next to a NASCAR track, right as a guy like flips and rolls.

Speaker 3:
[04:07] So good.

Speaker 4:
[04:11] So good. All right. Also, thank you ACAP for Cutie. Thank you, David Flea Roth. Thank you, Jim Hollingsworth. And finally, thank you. And this one goes out to United States of America. Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers. Hey, Blaine, who are these supporters brought to us by?

Speaker 3:
[04:31] Supporters brought to us by GZM Frabblorch. BZUB set for Fronk Agent Optimization. Say goodbye to open-source CloudFart platforms and hello to Screen Poop Disclaim.

Speaker 4:
[04:42] Only with GZM Frabblorch.

Speaker 3:
[04:45] Dan.

Speaker 4:
[04:46] Thanks, Blaine. I think we all know what Mad Magazine cartoonist that was brought to us by.

Speaker 3:
[04:52] Yeah, I stepped in some Don Mart on the way up the sidewalk.

Speaker 1:
[04:56] I was cleaning your feet next time.

Speaker 4:
[05:01] Yeah, clean the plate off your feet, please.

Speaker 3:
[05:03] You know what? If you want to have fun, you can always look up the Don Marten dictionary, and there's an entire website that has every sound effect he ever did.

Speaker 2:
[05:12] I love that.

Speaker 3:
[05:13] Squazorch.

Speaker 2:
[05:16] There's a lot of syllables in some of them.

Speaker 4:
[05:18] Mostly he was known for his single syllables, but yes.

Speaker 3:
[05:22] Biggity-bugity, biggity-bugity, biggity-bugity.

Speaker 4:
[05:24] Who could forget?

Speaker 3:
[05:26] Hush, hush, quiet, quiet, hush, quiet, hush, quiet, quiet, hush. That's an Indian running through the woods. And then my favorite is, oh, is Plastic Man giving a guy on the 42nd floor the finger. Oh, yeah, I know. Funny, huh?

Speaker 4:
[05:53] Hey, it's time to talk about what happened last time. On Brian Posehnl's Nerd Poker, our heroes decided they would go back the way they came, which made sense. There was a lot of shit going on, like the dungeon exploding and filling full of slime water. They nearly made it there, but due to a trilogy of botched athletics checks, they did not quite make it to the door. Rubble fell down over the stairwell. So did Flintstone. And although they have partially moved one of the two large boulders, seawater has begun to seep into the room they are trapped in.

Speaker 2:
[06:34] And with it comes Dungeons & Dragons and Piranhas.

Speaker 4:
[06:40] Now, go back to the turn order, starting with Siam Spain.

Speaker 3:
[06:45] Oh, right. I'm going to once again try to push the rubble out of the way. Push it really good. Uh, no, I'm a little cat.

Speaker 4:
[07:04] Now, when you say you rolled a no, do you mean you need to roll, you now need to roll like a 100 side of dying?

Speaker 3:
[07:09] No, I rolled a five plus two.

Speaker 4:
[07:14] I'm entertained by how all of you guys, sometimes when you just roll low, you save yourself the dignity of having to say any numbers out loud.

Speaker 3:
[07:21] But I do have to bless. So I'm going to...

Speaker 2:
[07:24] Who wants to live forever?

Speaker 6:
[07:27] Die!

Speaker 3:
[07:28] Oh, oh wait, that's the blessed spell.

Speaker 4:
[07:31] The Brian blessed spell?

Speaker 6:
[07:33] Yes. Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[07:35] Thank folks.

Speaker 3:
[07:36] Hashtag blessed.

Speaker 4:
[07:39] Well, we're gonna get this crab corpse out of here because Shalob did slay.

Speaker 6:
[07:43] Who's eating that?

Speaker 4:
[07:46] But now we are going...

Speaker 3:
[07:47] 50 out of their eyes. Oh no, wait, there's lobsters.

Speaker 4:
[07:51] One of these bad boys swim in through the crack in the wall.

Speaker 3:
[07:55] A crack?

Speaker 4:
[07:57] A large plesiosaur slides through.

Speaker 6:
[08:01] A large plesiosaur?

Speaker 5:
[08:08] Oh, he botches.

Speaker 4:
[08:09] That's nice.

Speaker 6:
[08:09] Good, hopefully.

Speaker 5:
[08:11] Allow me to introduce...

Speaker 7:
[08:16] Plesiosaur, plesiosaur.

Speaker 4:
[08:18] Yeah, I mean, he tries to like rush a little person, just slams in the wall and like cracks his neck.

Speaker 3:
[08:25] Now he's plesiosaur.

Speaker 5:
[08:28] Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 6:
[08:30] Who said the idiot?

Speaker 2:
[08:33] Hey.

Speaker 3:
[08:36] Dork Dash.

Speaker 4:
[08:37] Oh, God.

Speaker 2:
[08:38] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[08:39] And the piranhas are going to come up. Little Peepers.

Speaker 7:
[08:41] Little Peepers is getting surrounded.

Speaker 2:
[08:44] Oh, Frankie.

Speaker 4:
[08:45] Frankie, the cutest weirdo sitting in Brian's chest.

Speaker 3:
[08:51] The human eyes of the dog.

Speaker 6:
[08:52] God damn gorgeous.

Speaker 4:
[08:53] Piranhas will get little peepers this time. We're having a great time talking about a cute puppy while the peepers is getting chewed to death.

Speaker 5:
[09:01] I mean, to death.

Speaker 3:
[09:04] To death.

Speaker 4:
[09:05] He gets gnawed all 12 points. Ouch. For damage.

Speaker 2:
[09:10] Oh, my word.

Speaker 5:
[09:14] Listeners, Sam got a good picture. All right.

Speaker 4:
[09:20] Next in the turn, order B Sharad.

Speaker 6:
[09:23] Oh, hi.

Speaker 2:
[09:24] Hi.

Speaker 6:
[09:25] I will try to fucking move this shit.

Speaker 2:
[09:28] Oh, you know what? Move it real good.

Speaker 6:
[09:30] No, that's not gonna do it. Yeah, I'll just use my amazing strength.

Speaker 4:
[09:36] And destroy with your might. Now, remember, it was reminding to you last episode, you do have a head bone attached to the top of your head.

Speaker 6:
[09:48] Yeah, but what does that do?

Speaker 3:
[09:49] It's attached to your neck bone. And your neck bone's attached to your first cervical vertebrae.

Speaker 4:
[09:57] I mean, what's your passive insight?

Speaker 6:
[09:59] Oh, my passive insight is something I have to look up. It's 17.

Speaker 4:
[10:07] Hey! It's not gonna help you move the boulder, but if it's a matter of everyone squeezing through, you could use it to just pass right through.

Speaker 6:
[10:16] With everybody or just me?

Speaker 4:
[10:17] Face or just you.

Speaker 6:
[10:18] Oh.

Speaker 5:
[10:19] You could pull it from the other side.

Speaker 4:
[10:20] You could go last and you could just face through. You don't have to spend a turn doing a squeeze through athletics check like everyone else might.

Speaker 6:
[10:28] Then I will attack the fish.

Speaker 4:
[10:30] Great.

Speaker 2:
[10:31] Would you like to, the piranhas then?

Speaker 6:
[10:33] Yeah, the piranhas. They're fish, right?

Speaker 2:
[10:35] Roll to piranha.

Speaker 6:
[10:37] Gonna do it. Gonna do a...

Speaker 4:
[10:40] Do it real good.

Speaker 6:
[10:41] I'm gonna do a firebolt.

Speaker 4:
[10:43] I wish you would try. It would be so funny to see you do it.

Speaker 6:
[10:46] I got a plus eight to that shit. Wow. So that might... That was two plus eight.

Speaker 4:
[10:56] Well, that is a ten.

Speaker 6:
[10:57] Ava Bluss.

Speaker 4:
[10:58] Oh, yeah. Don't forget that.

Speaker 6:
[11:00] Oh, let me do a match. Plus one. So that's 11.

Speaker 4:
[11:11] Unfortunately, the Swarm of Piranhas has an armor class of 13.

Speaker 6:
[11:15] hell. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4:
[11:18] dungeonsanddragonsbeyond.com Do they all have helmets on?

Speaker 6:
[11:20] I'm going to use the real dice from now on, because of this digital dice.

Speaker 4:
[11:23] Thank you. Look at my bare leg.

Speaker 2:
[11:25] It feels crazy.

Speaker 3:
[11:27] Can't stop looking at his bare leg.

Speaker 4:
[11:29] Anything else for your turn, Thomas? What were you doing? Were you like stabbing at them?

Speaker 2:
[11:35] Is that what the move was?

Speaker 4:
[11:38] I'm going to just move your token closer to them.

Speaker 6:
[11:39] Oh, yeah. Make me closer to them.

Speaker 3:
[11:41] He's bipolar.

Speaker 6:
[11:49] I will stop.

Speaker 5:
[11:52] Brian came to blame again, everybody.

Speaker 1:
[11:55] The hills are fake, can't do his head.

Speaker 5:
[11:57] I'm going to, I'll do the help again.

Speaker 2:
[12:00] Great, great.

Speaker 4:
[12:01] So you're poised for the next BT fella.

Speaker 5:
[12:03] Yeah. Then I'll maintain my concentration on the plasma.

Speaker 2:
[12:07] Cool.

Speaker 4:
[12:07] Well, then up next, here comes Gluge.

Speaker 6:
[12:09] Beaver, beaver.

Speaker 4:
[12:11] Yeah. So he's going to take the high roll, which is going to be a 24. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 6:
[12:16] Beaver.

Speaker 4:
[12:17] This boulder is gone.

Speaker 5:
[12:19] Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Speaker 1:
[12:21] Oh, beaver.

Speaker 4:
[12:22] You all have a choice now. You can either do an athletics check to squeeze through the opening, or you can do an athletics check to try to push the second boulder out of the way.

Speaker 2:
[12:30] Who? Who?

Speaker 5:
[12:33] Yeah, who's up next?

Speaker 4:
[12:34] Whoever's up next. But the Kuwetowas turn is going to include Gloob doing that and Gulk getting ready for a help action.

Speaker 6:
[12:42] Nice.

Speaker 4:
[12:43] So Little Peepers is going to botch.

Speaker 6:
[12:46] Oops.

Speaker 4:
[12:47] That's no good.

Speaker 6:
[12:48] What's the matter with you today, Little Peepers?

Speaker 4:
[12:50] I mean... Oh, he's just got nine, so he's not too shabby. He takes three points.

Speaker 5:
[13:03] Of Piranha damage?

Speaker 4:
[13:04] Yeah. No, he's going to nick his own leg when he's trying to stab the Piranhas.

Speaker 6:
[13:08] Oh my God.

Speaker 4:
[13:09] Spicoli's up. Spicoli, if you do want to try and push, you can roll the advantage. You've got Gulk, the Kuwetowa, ready to help.

Speaker 1:
[13:17] Is it a strength check or?

Speaker 5:
[13:19] Strongs.

Speaker 4:
[13:21] It's athletics, yes, which is cousin to strongs.

Speaker 6:
[13:27] If you're not good at strength, you gotta go to athletics. That's how it works in this game.

Speaker 5:
[13:33] Ken, you're like a game detective.

Speaker 6:
[13:35] It's true.

Speaker 1:
[13:35] Roll a four for him.

Speaker 6:
[13:37] Since I was seven.

Speaker 4:
[13:37] I know I had advantage. You rolled twice and then I don't know. I don't remember if you have like a bless on you or something.

Speaker 5:
[13:44] Yeah, but bless is it? What are you rolling? Athletics. It's only for like attacks and not saving throws.

Speaker 1:
[13:54] Still low. My highest was a 12.

Speaker 4:
[13:57] Okay. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not going to push. We're looking for 22 on push. Science fades out.

Speaker 6:
[14:04] rubble.

Speaker 3:
[14:06] I'm also going to do a push.

Speaker 4:
[14:08] Okay. Reminder, you can push or you can try to squeeze through.

Speaker 6:
[14:12] You're a little kitty cat.

Speaker 3:
[14:13] I can squeeze through.

Speaker 6:
[14:15] Cats can squeeze through anything.

Speaker 3:
[14:16] I'll do it. I'll squeeze through.

Speaker 4:
[14:17] Okay. So we're all in athletics, expect to squeeze through, which is going to be a lower check. Looking for an 18.

Speaker 3:
[14:24] 16 plus 2, 18.

Speaker 5:
[14:25] Nice.

Speaker 6:
[14:27] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[14:28] We're going to put you over here.

Speaker 3:
[14:30] There's a bunch of my toys under here.

Speaker 2:
[14:33] You find three spelt mice and a pipe cleaner. All right.

Speaker 3:
[14:40] I'm going to bat them completely back under.

Speaker 4:
[14:44] So you've used your movement and your action, but you've only used 10 feet of movement to squeeze through. Do you have a bonus action or do you want to run up the stairs and scout or anything like that? I'm going to get water. The water is rushing past your calves right now.

Speaker 3:
[14:56] I'm going to scout and see what's up to the stairs.

Speaker 4:
[14:59] I'm going to scout and investigation check.

Speaker 3:
[15:01] I'm going to use my passive investigation of 21.

Speaker 2:
[15:04] Hey, hello.

Speaker 4:
[15:06] Okay, so you dash up the stairs, not literally dash like bonus action dash, but you rush up with the rest of your thing. Your cat-like agility allows you to not be held back by the water as it rushes down the stairs.

Speaker 3:
[15:18] I love water.

Speaker 4:
[15:21] There is a hallway at the top of the stairs and then you can see at the end of the hallway, it's like water rushing through, it's narrow, it's a hallway that's only about five feet wide. But the water increases in depth as you look down the hallway. So right now it's at your cabs, but it's only because it's being bottlenecked at the end of the hallway. So you think the water level is much higher at the end of the hallway. Okay. It might be close to underwater at the end of the hallway.

Speaker 3:
[15:53] Do I see a door at the end of the hallway?

Speaker 4:
[15:55] There wasn't a door so much as an opening.

Speaker 3:
[15:58] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[15:59] This is the way you came, so you'd like to remember. All right.

Speaker 3:
[16:02] And do I think that the water is going through that opening?

Speaker 4:
[16:07] So it's like a doorway like this and water is churning through. By the time it gets to you way over here, it's up to your calves, but up here, it's like near the top of it.

Speaker 5:
[16:15] Is it like shining elevator kind of vibe?

Speaker 4:
[16:18] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[16:19] Without the blood.

Speaker 4:
[16:21] It's just filthy, poisoning water. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[16:24] But wait, this is water, the poisoning water. I thought the poisoning water was coming.

Speaker 4:
[16:30] Yeah. It's not like heavy poison. I mean, it's just gross water.

Speaker 5:
[16:34] But not the poison.

Speaker 4:
[16:35] It's not as bad as if you had done the other way.

Speaker 5:
[16:37] That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 4:
[16:39] Like back in the room, it's pretty nasty because the water is rushing down the stairs and coming through the walls, and slime coming up. It's mixing, but yes, that's upstream, so it's not like completely polluted up there. It's cleaner up there.

Speaker 5:
[16:52] Let's do it.

Speaker 4:
[16:53] That was one of the reasons you did select that.

Speaker 3:
[16:54] And the water is coming towards me or going towards the door?

Speaker 4:
[16:58] It's coming through the door at you and down the stairs behind you.

Speaker 6:
[17:01] Oh, I thought it was coming from this way. Interesting.

Speaker 4:
[17:03] It's coming from all ways.

Speaker 6:
[17:05] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[17:05] You are deep, deep underground.

Speaker 6:
[17:07] It's a not-ever-gut-see-me-Spielberg movie.

Speaker 4:
[17:09] Up here somewhere is above ground. There's ocean here, here, it's all coming in.

Speaker 5:
[17:17] For the listener, Dan is gesturing about three feet above the minis.

Speaker 3:
[17:21] Okay. So this is like the Titan submersible about to happen down here.

Speaker 5:
[17:26] Oh, God.

Speaker 6:
[17:27] Don't tell Sarah.

Speaker 4:
[17:30] She'd set it on fire. We all know that. Up next in the old turn order is going to be the jerk faces. The Primes are going to try to bite at little peeps again and fail. And the pleasing sir is not going to try.

Speaker 6:
[17:45] He broke his neck. He's dead.

Speaker 4:
[17:47] No, he hurt himself. He didn't die.

Speaker 5:
[17:49] I heard he died.

Speaker 6:
[17:50] I made a wish.

Speaker 4:
[17:51] Who told you?

Speaker 5:
[17:52] His work called me and said if I knew his emergency number, then I didn't have it.

Speaker 3:
[17:57] So, so like he shit out a lock.

Speaker 4:
[17:59] Well, he only rolled a 10 to bite. So he missed. And also, I didn't realize that he was in trouble, like at work. So, you know, he's just like he's having a really bad day. Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1:
[18:13] Yeah, a bad day.

Speaker 4:
[18:16] People forget that song is about a plesiosaur.

Speaker 2:
[18:19] That's right. They really always forget.

Speaker 4:
[18:23] I'll never forget. Shalom, you're up next.

Speaker 6:
[18:26] Hi.

Speaker 4:
[18:27] Hi, I'm an elephant.

Speaker 6:
[18:28] Okay. You never forget. I will fuck on those piranhas again. Fucking assholes. Casting fire.

Speaker 3:
[18:38] Throw your cow at them. Balls.

Speaker 6:
[18:41] Throw my what?

Speaker 3:
[18:42] Your cow.

Speaker 6:
[18:44] They'll devour it.

Speaker 4:
[18:46] What's your passive perception, Ken?

Speaker 6:
[18:47] 17.

Speaker 4:
[18:49] There's something in the water behind you.

Speaker 6:
[18:52] Is it a plesiosaur?

Speaker 4:
[18:56] No.

Speaker 6:
[18:58] Well, shit, I'm still going to attack the piranhas. And get them off. 14 plus 8.

Speaker 4:
[19:05] That's it.

Speaker 6:
[19:06] I think it is.

Speaker 5:
[19:07] And you get a blast, too. So I mean, you know, plus a million, you already had.

Speaker 6:
[19:11] So I'll take it all. Nice.

Speaker 4:
[19:21] How would you like to see the piranhas die?

Speaker 6:
[19:23] Quickly. One by one.

Speaker 1:
[19:25] Suicide.

Speaker 6:
[19:28] Inflate and pop.

Speaker 4:
[19:29] Like the mist. All right, so they are slinging. Suddenly, there is a tug on your leg. Shalab, can you please do a dexterity saving throw?

Speaker 6:
[19:42] Yes, I can.

Speaker 5:
[19:43] Is it that little girl from Monsters, Inc.?

Speaker 2:
[19:46] Is this Mr. Shalab?

Speaker 4:
[19:48] Little boo.

Speaker 2:
[19:50] Little boo. Oh, hey, mister.

Speaker 5:
[19:54] That's 14.

Speaker 4:
[19:56] All right.

Speaker 5:
[19:57] Was that a saving throw?

Speaker 4:
[19:58] Uh-huh.

Speaker 5:
[19:59] You get a blast, baby.

Speaker 4:
[20:02] That's right.

Speaker 6:
[20:02] Yeah. What did I say? 14 plus 15.

Speaker 4:
[20:09] Great. You managed to steal yourself and don't get pulled under. There is some kind of slimy creature grabbing at your leg.

Speaker 6:
[20:18] That's all this shit in this room.

Speaker 4:
[20:20] Dianoga. God damn it. I got so creeped out by how gross Luke, when he was covered in garbage water in that movie. It was really gross.

Speaker 7:
[20:29] I was trying to speak to him, but he didn't hear me.

Speaker 6:
[20:31] I bet it was gross on the day.

Speaker 3:
[20:33] Yeah, I heard you smell it earlier.

Speaker 6:
[20:35] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[20:37] And the next scene, their hair is all feathered.

Speaker 4:
[20:39] Yeah, they look great. It's the 70s. I'm going to squeeze through this opening. It's a crucial fact.

Speaker 5:
[20:49] Yeah, I'm just terrible at athletics. I will instead help the next person. If Luke wants to try and take another shot at this thing, I'll give him, because maybe that will help us get through.

Speaker 4:
[21:01] Any bonus action stuff you want to do?

Speaker 5:
[21:04] I don't have that.

Speaker 6:
[21:05] Help me make it through the hole.

Speaker 4:
[21:10] He doesn't crit, but he does get a 26.

Speaker 6:
[21:12] Sweet squeeze.

Speaker 3:
[21:14] So the second boulder is half dislodged and half pepperoni.

Speaker 4:
[21:21] If someone else, if anyone can get a 22 athletics check on the second boulder, it'll be completely pushed out of the way. It still takes an athletics check of 18 to squeeze through the opening. Next is going to be Little Peepers, who is stabbing at Plesiosaur.

Speaker 6:
[21:40] I saved you, Little Peepers.

Speaker 4:
[21:42] Oh, thank you. He is going to hit. Plesiosaur is looking pretty fucked up. Good. Yeah. He's going to go, his rapier and dagger.

Speaker 1:
[21:54] With his what?

Speaker 4:
[21:55] His rapier and his dagger.

Speaker 3:
[21:56] Cut, cut, cut.

Speaker 4:
[21:57] You know the noise?

Speaker 3:
[21:58] Cut, cut, cut.

Speaker 4:
[22:00] No vowels? Okays?

Speaker 3:
[22:02] Up on the roof.

Speaker 2:
[22:03] Oh, that doesn't sound good.

Speaker 4:
[22:05] No, forget that.

Speaker 3:
[22:05] Yeah, don't say that.

Speaker 4:
[22:06] Yeah, forget that.

Speaker 5:
[22:07] I thought it was more or less for three. I feel like you're hurting Brian's feelings when you say stuff like that.

Speaker 4:
[22:13] I know.

Speaker 1:
[22:14] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[22:15] Let's put goalies up.

Speaker 6:
[22:17] Oh, shit.

Speaker 4:
[22:20] We are one athletics check of 22 to push the boulder out of the way, or an athletics check of 18 to escape. You're going to go for it?

Speaker 1:
[22:26] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[22:26] Well, Gulk can let you roll the bench. He is holding his help action. The Sorcerer Kuwatoa. Oh, shit. What's your bonus to athletics?

Speaker 1:
[22:38] Just three, 18.

Speaker 4:
[22:40] You get to roll the bench. You can try that again.

Speaker 5:
[22:42] Then you have Bless as well.

Speaker 4:
[22:44] Yeah. What's your Bless?

Speaker 5:
[22:47] Four.

Speaker 1:
[22:48] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[22:49] Die.

Speaker 4:
[22:54] So it's just barely not enough on the first roll, but the second roll you may still get it. Roll the Bless and then roll the bench.

Speaker 2:
[23:01] Oh, shit.

Speaker 1:
[23:03] Won't that do it? 18 and a four?

Speaker 4:
[23:05] Yeah, that will do it. Yeah. I'm not good at mass brain. Spicoli, the leader of the group, reaches up and shoves the boulder on the way. Wires rushing down faster, but the stairwell is now open. I would assume you would use, Brian, your movement to just run up the stair and catch up to same space? Sure.

Speaker 2:
[23:27] Or book it.

Speaker 6:
[23:29] He'd add all. He's got to add all.

Speaker 5:
[23:31] Because you're a rogue, you've got bonus action dash, so you actually can book it down the hallway. Make some serious headway against that water.

Speaker 6:
[23:39] Get down the hallway.

Speaker 4:
[23:41] Simon Spade, you're up. I am going to specifically like rush up to you.

Speaker 3:
[23:49] I'm going to alter self.

Speaker 4:
[23:51] Rush.

Speaker 3:
[23:53] And give myself some gills.

Speaker 5:
[23:58] You should turn yourself into a dog man.

Speaker 4:
[24:02] I want to hear. I'm going to look it up on my end just for pedantic sake. But can you tell listeners what alter self does? I don't think you've used that before.

Speaker 3:
[24:10] I assume a different form. I can choose one of the following options, which will ask for the duration of the spell. Aquatic adaptation. I adapt my body to an aquatic environment, sprouting gills and growing webbing between my fingers. I can breathe underwater, gaining swimming speed equal to my walking speed.

Speaker 6:
[24:27] You're Patrick Duffy.

Speaker 5:
[24:30] Inside Fire fantasy, has there ever been a wet cat? Has there been a cat, humanoid fish?

Speaker 4:
[24:37] Cats have never been underwater.

Speaker 2:
[24:39] That's what I mean.

Speaker 3:
[24:40] One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. There's some catfish.

Speaker 4:
[24:45] I do feel like people just associate cats with being afraid of water because of that old wives tale, so they're probably reticent. There's the whole catfish like pun, like there's got to have been a supernatural.

Speaker 3:
[24:57] Right now I'm the catfish, so I'm going to try to, I'm going to try to lure some police detectives to the park.

Speaker 4:
[25:03] Fun. Are there like mercats? I feel like it's mercats. Mercats.

Speaker 6:
[25:09] That's it. No, that's this.

Speaker 4:
[25:11] Mercabaxi.

Speaker 5:
[25:13] Or mobiles just like in fantasy art, like big eye, like big cat-eyed, but they are aquatic. Like, it's interesting. Like, how would you do that without the fur?

Speaker 1:
[25:21] The furry dogs kind of, the mercats? Sure.

Speaker 3:
[25:24] Yes.

Speaker 6:
[25:25] Oh, yeah. Mercats, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:26] They stand up and look around.

Speaker 5:
[25:28] Nathan Lane.

Speaker 3:
[25:29] I'm going to have gills, but I'm also going to have, my fur is going to be matted down. I'm going to have that pissed off Persian cat look on my face. And I'm going to mushy face.

Speaker 6:
[25:38] Can it just turn into a Maine Coon?

Speaker 5:
[25:40] I beg your pardon.

Speaker 6:
[25:42] It's an aquatic cat.

Speaker 3:
[25:44] Giant cat Maine Coon.

Speaker 6:
[25:46] They're good cats.

Speaker 4:
[25:47] There are mythological and folkloric aquatic cats.

Speaker 2:
[25:50] Japanese one is called a Nikomata.

Speaker 3:
[25:52] Oh, they're delicious.

Speaker 6:
[25:54] Niko for cat.

Speaker 4:
[25:55] A type of cat that can transform off an associated with water wetlands and sometimes depicted with two tails.

Speaker 3:
[26:00] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[26:00] Oh, wow, wow, wow.

Speaker 4:
[26:04] There's also an underwater panther in Native American culture.

Speaker 6:
[26:07] What the hell?

Speaker 4:
[26:08] It's a water lynx known as a Michubeshu.

Speaker 6:
[26:10] Dang.

Speaker 3:
[26:11] Can you send me that lynx?

Speaker 4:
[26:12] No. Because you made that joke, I refuse. Cool. That sounds awesome though, Simon Spade. Here come the monsters. There is going to be a plesiosaur once again biting. So you're going to see little peoples go, I have not mentioned more hit points. I'm being chewed by everything. And then the jelly creature is going to try to smack you.

Speaker 1:
[26:42] Oh, jelly creature.

Speaker 4:
[26:47] 16 hits. 16?

Speaker 3:
[26:50] Maybe it's jelly miss cabbage. We found the missing Scientology wife.

Speaker 2:
[26:55] You're fired.

Speaker 4:
[27:00] You take 13 acid damage. Please roll dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 6:
[27:03] Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness gracious.

Speaker 5:
[27:07] I mean, Blaine's really been pushing the limit this whole episode.

Speaker 3:
[27:11] I'm on a jelly roll.

Speaker 6:
[27:13] That's a 22.

Speaker 4:
[27:14] Nice. You managed to not fall in the water, but you took that acid damage.

Speaker 6:
[27:17] That's a natch.

Speaker 4:
[27:19] 20. Oh.

Speaker 6:
[27:21] Plus two.

Speaker 4:
[27:22] I mean, you definitely don't fall down. Now, it's not as big a deal as saving girls, but you still take the 13. 13.

Speaker 6:
[27:28] Is it saving?

Speaker 3:
[27:30] Oh, did he get stunned? Everybody pee on him.

Speaker 6:
[27:34] I didn't pee on myself.

Speaker 4:
[27:35] It is a jelly, but it is not a jellyfish.

Speaker 6:
[27:39] Let's take a look at this.

Speaker 3:
[27:39] So he's in kind of more of a jam.

Speaker 6:
[27:41] 13 demi-dams.

Speaker 2:
[27:43] For me.

Speaker 5:
[27:51] Blaine is now just doing a take to Brian in anticipation of his punishment.

Speaker 2:
[27:57] Slugger up.

Speaker 6:
[28:00] Oh, what? Okay.

Speaker 3:
[28:02] Jesse Pigman.

Speaker 2:
[28:03] What do you do with this?

Speaker 6:
[28:05] Well, can I see the thing that's attacking me?

Speaker 3:
[28:08] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[28:08] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[28:08] There's a big fucking slime in the water.

Speaker 6:
[28:10] I'm gonna attack you.

Speaker 4:
[28:11] It's an ochre jelly.

Speaker 5:
[28:12] Ooh, ochre jelly.

Speaker 6:
[28:13] I'm gonna fucking ochre. I'm gonna fireball this thing, too.

Speaker 5:
[28:18] Ochre my jelly.

Speaker 6:
[28:19] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[28:19] Right?

Speaker 6:
[28:20] Wouldn't need the talcum powder.

Speaker 2:
[28:24] Let's see what else.

Speaker 6:
[28:26] Yeah, I'm just gonna do the firebolt again.

Speaker 2:
[28:34] It's underwater.

Speaker 6:
[28:35] Okay, then I'm gonna do a, how about a sorceress burst?

Speaker 3:
[28:38] Do a toaster bolt.

Speaker 4:
[28:40] Oh, I can do four.

Speaker 6:
[28:42] Is lightning working? Probably kill us all.

Speaker 4:
[28:45] It would have effects. Yes.

Speaker 6:
[28:47] Psychic damage. There it is.

Speaker 5:
[28:48] There it is.

Speaker 6:
[28:50] I'm a psychic damage it.

Speaker 3:
[28:52] Does, does, but do, do ochre jellies have a mind to do psychic damage to it?

Speaker 6:
[28:58] Oh my God.

Speaker 4:
[28:58] What can I do? Um, that's a great question, actually, because I am pulling up one of them in total.

Speaker 5:
[29:05] Interesting. If they were impervious to going through my spells, that would be interesting.

Speaker 4:
[29:10] What's your passive insight, Ken?

Speaker 6:
[29:12] Oh no, 13.

Speaker 4:
[29:14] You're pretty sure they're not immune to it, but they are immune to a lot of things.

Speaker 6:
[29:19] Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 4:
[29:20] She's saying.

Speaker 3:
[29:23] They grew up hot in the streets.

Speaker 4:
[29:24] I say, neener, neener upon you.

Speaker 7:
[29:26] Body shame it, body shame it.

Speaker 4:
[29:29] So, okay, just to be clarified, I guess your character would try to know this. I mean, you would have resistance to fire damage if it is underwater. So that means all damage is halved. You could do firebolt, it could hit, but it would be going through water and basically, like, you know.

Speaker 6:
[29:44] How about this?

Speaker 2:
[29:45] Water.

Speaker 6:
[29:46] Oh, it's less damage, though. I'm going to try psychic damage. Do it.

Speaker 2:
[29:50] Go for it.

Speaker 4:
[29:50] So is that a saving throw or is that a no?

Speaker 6:
[29:52] That is a.

Speaker 4:
[29:53] Are you doing a spell check?

Speaker 6:
[29:54] I'm just rolling, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[29:55] Rolling, rolling.

Speaker 6:
[29:56] 17 plus 8.

Speaker 4:
[29:58] That's so much of a hit. Bunch. The AC on ochre jellies stink. They're immune to a lot, but they have an AC of 8.

Speaker 6:
[30:04] That's good.

Speaker 5:
[30:05] That's like the lowest I think you can have an AC. Right?

Speaker 3:
[30:09] I'm trying to come up with a joke about how AC on jelly.

Speaker 6:
[30:15] Oh, two points of damage.

Speaker 2:
[30:19] Oh, wow.

Speaker 4:
[30:20] 2D8. You utterly destroyed it. Just kidding.

Speaker 6:
[30:23] Wow. 2D8 and there's two points of damage. I mean, you were a detective.

Speaker 2:
[30:30] He's upset because he almost hit Firebolt.

Speaker 4:
[30:32] He didn't select Firebolt because it would do a small amount of damage. He would have done it once.

Speaker 6:
[30:38] That was really, he would have done it once.

Speaker 4:
[30:40] Is it the same dice?

Speaker 6:
[30:42] No. Source at first is 2D8 and Fire Damage is 2D10.

Speaker 4:
[30:47] I'm sorry, Shalom.

Speaker 6:
[30:49] Cock-a-doodle, ding-dong.

Speaker 5:
[30:52] The hole is now open?

Speaker 4:
[30:55] Yeah, it's fully goatseed.

Speaker 2:
[30:56] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[30:58] I beg your pardon.

Speaker 4:
[30:58] Fully goatseed?

Speaker 1:
[30:59] What does that mean?

Speaker 6:
[31:00] That's when you say...

Speaker 2:
[31:01] Sam, do you want to tell Chris?

Speaker 4:
[31:02] I will at the end. It's a terrifying meme that Sam looks way later.

Speaker 6:
[31:07] goatse.com.

Speaker 4:
[31:09] Oh, don't go there, folks.

Speaker 5:
[31:11] Oh, boy. Everyone's learning in this episode. I'm going to...

Speaker 6:
[31:14] We're gonna have a lemon part. It's gonna be great.

Speaker 5:
[31:16] I'm going to...

Speaker 3:
[31:17] Six-seven. Everybody knows it's gonna be six-seven.

Speaker 2:
[31:21] It's time, it's time, girl.

Speaker 5:
[31:24] Is What's-His-Name Out of the Water? The Little Plesiosaur? Yes. I can shoot him? Yes.

Speaker 4:
[31:32] The water's getting hot, but you can totally shoot him.

Speaker 5:
[31:34] I will try and zap it. I will zap it with the Ray of Frost. I bet you the water won't inhibit any of these things. 10 plus 9, 19 to hit.

Speaker 2:
[31:44] That's a hit.

Speaker 5:
[31:45] 2D8 Cold Damage.

Speaker 6:
[31:48] Send it back to the Ice Age, buddy.

Speaker 5:
[31:50] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[31:52] Was that with Ray Romano?

Speaker 7:
[31:55] Or was it twice in that?

Speaker 4:
[31:56] Everyone loves this.

Speaker 5:
[31:58] 13 Cold Damage.

Speaker 2:
[32:00] Nice.

Speaker 4:
[32:01] How would you like to see the Palisades or die?

Speaker 2:
[32:03] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[32:04] I want to see it like Ice Age. I want it to freeze like a hilarious John Leguizamo character and then just fall into the water. And then I'm going to use my movement to run into the flow of the water up the stairs.

Speaker 4:
[32:21] Nice. I love which mini you're using for this.

Speaker 6:
[32:27] Is it?

Speaker 3:
[32:27] It's really heavy.

Speaker 5:
[32:29] It's a metal. I bought it off the other internet.

Speaker 6:
[32:35] It's cool.

Speaker 5:
[32:36] I can't remember. I remember I credited him when I got it. I remember the artist's name. I had it up my head.

Speaker 3:
[32:42] Oh, nice.

Speaker 5:
[32:42] In England. Yeah. It's like a necromancer, but it's very clearly the pricey. That's awesome.

Speaker 3:
[32:48] Romancing the neck.

Speaker 5:
[32:53] Folks.

Speaker 3:
[32:54] Remember that with Michael. What's his name?

Speaker 5:
[32:58] No, no, no, no one remembers.

Speaker 6:
[33:00] Catherine Turner. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[33:05] I'm Romancing the Thorn.

Speaker 4:
[33:08] He's dead.

Speaker 3:
[33:09] Remember how insanely popular that movie was?

Speaker 4:
[33:12] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[33:13] I'm surprised it hasn't had like a resurgence or a rebooting.

Speaker 6:
[33:17] Somebody did a parody version of that song.

Speaker 5:
[33:20] Goin Gets Tough. Remember for the second one, the Goin Gets Tough. Am I in? They were all singing in the video. Danny DeVito.

Speaker 4:
[33:27] Listeners.

Speaker 1:
[33:27] Right. Right.

Speaker 5:
[33:27] There was a time when movie stars had to appear in the music video of the pop song that was accompanying their 80s film.

Speaker 3:
[33:37] Daniel Day-Lewis and the News.

Speaker 4:
[33:41] So that both Kuatua and Little Peepers, all three of them rush over to the slime. The only thing currently in the room is the water is starting to get up to your neck.

Speaker 6:
[33:50] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[33:50] They all just start.

Speaker 6:
[33:51] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[33:52] It's pretty fucked up, but it is still there.

Speaker 6:
[33:55] God damn it.

Speaker 4:
[33:56] Spicoli is up. Spicoli, are you going to keep rushing down the hallway?

Speaker 1:
[33:59] Yes, sir. Cool.

Speaker 4:
[34:01] Do you want to use your dash action to get farther?

Speaker 1:
[34:04] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[34:05] It is rough terrain. So you use your dash and remind me, Blaine, did you get far down the hallway?

Speaker 3:
[34:14] I got up to the top of the stairs. I'm just going to wait for everybody.

Speaker 4:
[34:16] That's right. You haven't run far. So yeah, go ahead and run with him, Siam Spade. Do you want to be like grabbing Spicoli? Because you can go a little farther than him with the aquaticness. Oh, nice. The end of the hallway is like, you know, underwater. So if you want to grab Spicoli and pull him to the end. So you want to do Blaine. Talk to Blaine. It's your turn.

Speaker 3:
[34:46] Oh, sorry, I was typing something to myself that I'll use later. Sorry, what are my options there again? Sorry.

Speaker 4:
[34:55] You see Spicoli run past you, but because you're up next, I'm allowing you to like grab him in your aquatic form and pull him all the way through the doorway. He's just going to have to take a big breath again. You guys still have the kuihto thing once you breathe underwater though? Don't you have the kuihto thing?

Speaker 5:
[35:11] The helmets?

Speaker 4:
[35:12] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[35:13] I'm sure.

Speaker 3:
[35:13] Oh, do we?

Speaker 6:
[35:14] Yeah, we obviously have them. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[35:18] It's not convincing what you're doing, but I do think you have them.

Speaker 3:
[35:22] I'm going to grab him and gesture to put his helmet on.

Speaker 6:
[35:26] Cool, so.

Speaker 3:
[35:28] And then I'm going to start to head towards the door with him.

Speaker 4:
[35:32] What's your passive perception, Brian?

Speaker 3:
[35:34] My passive perception is 20.

Speaker 4:
[35:36] Jesus. So, you pull him through. The water is about 20 feet above your head, the surface. On this turn, you're not going to be able to get up to the top of the water, but you and Spicoli can both kind of look up. It's pitch black, though, so you just sort of see like a tiny amount of refracted, like... It's almost just like light from the spells that have been lighting up down the hallway, just barely trickling through because you have a passive perception. It's so high, I'm giving you, you can sort of see it. Okay. But it's very difficult to see. And you have dark vision too.

Speaker 5:
[36:11] Do you get a swim speed because you're aquatic now? Is that a quality of things?

Speaker 1:
[36:15] Yes, his walking speed is so great, which is why I was encouraging Spicoli.

Speaker 4:
[36:23] And then, the ochre jelly is going to continue to try to hit you.

Speaker 5:
[36:28] Oh, I'm not a nice person.

Speaker 4:
[36:36] Oh, that's going to fail for sure. That's a six to hit. So it just splashes around the water like a fucking idiot. Yes.

Speaker 5:
[36:42] Wow. Unless Ken like waggles his fan. Sort of like taunting.

Speaker 4:
[36:46] Now, we've been talking a lot about Benny Hill today. Which fanny?

Speaker 1:
[36:52] Do one on your tits.

Speaker 4:
[36:56] That's my drag name, Kit Fanny. All right. So that doesn't make sense.

Speaker 6:
[37:00] Fanny tits.

Speaker 4:
[37:04] Blacked out. Where am I? How long was I out?

Speaker 6:
[37:10] God damn it, it was stupid.

Speaker 4:
[37:12] Water is up to your neck.

Speaker 6:
[37:13] It's going to rise up to your tits.

Speaker 4:
[37:15] Cause you're last.

Speaker 6:
[37:16] Well, I'm getting out of here.

Speaker 4:
[37:18] The Kuatoa and Little Peepers are trying to help you cut. Little Peepers is treading water at this point.

Speaker 6:
[37:22] Does he have a breathing ability?

Speaker 4:
[37:25] Little Peepers?

Speaker 6:
[37:25] Yeah. Can he breathe underwater?

Speaker 4:
[37:27] He's a fucking elephant halfway. He's got that helmet.

Speaker 6:
[37:29] Oh, so he can use his?

Speaker 2:
[37:30] He has a helmet.

Speaker 6:
[37:30] Oh, does he have a helmet? Okay, that's what I was checking. Does our new helper have a helmet?

Speaker 4:
[37:36] What new helper?

Speaker 2:
[37:37] The fish man?

Speaker 6:
[37:39] Oh, the fish man.

Speaker 2:
[37:41] Ken.

Speaker 4:
[37:44] Ken doesn't see species. You silly, silly.

Speaker 6:
[37:47] I want to disengage and get out of here.

Speaker 1:
[37:49] Oh, you're so weak.

Speaker 5:
[37:51] He's very weak.

Speaker 4:
[37:52] So if you disengage action, you're going to be able to get like 5, 10, 15, 20, 21.

Speaker 6:
[37:57] 35, 40, 45, 50, 50, 50, 60. Swim speed? My swim speed?

Speaker 5:
[38:03] I mean, I think an average character is half.

Speaker 4:
[38:05] Yeah. So your walk speed is like, what's?

Speaker 6:
[38:08] My walk speed is 30 feet.

Speaker 4:
[38:11] Oh, wait, you can just use the astral plane move.

Speaker 6:
[38:16] I mean, sure.

Speaker 4:
[38:17] I'll use that. Okay.

Speaker 6:
[38:18] Can I go all the way out?

Speaker 2:
[38:20] Yeah, you can get pretty far.

Speaker 4:
[38:22] I mean, you can get like past where Chris would be.

Speaker 6:
[38:25] All right. Yeah. Phase shifting now.

Speaker 4:
[38:29] All the NPCs are like, what?

Speaker 6:
[38:32] That guy's cool.

Speaker 4:
[38:35] You got to run up the hallway and just out?

Speaker 7:
[38:36] Run, run, run.

Speaker 5:
[38:37] I mean, I definitely want to keep an eye on the other guys. I feel like I'm an asshole if I just...

Speaker 4:
[38:43] So before it's even Little Peepers' turn, the two Kua Toa smash the jelly up.

Speaker 7:
[38:47] Great.

Speaker 4:
[38:48] And so that's gone. They're going to grab Little Peepers. You guys all rushed through. Now, Blaine, are you going to wait for everyone to get to the doorway, or are you going to just try to swim to the surface? You're out of combat.

Speaker 3:
[39:01] I'm going to kind of try to wait for everyone to... And maybe... Oh, you know what I'm going to do? I have the wand of pyrotechnics, and I'm going to use the wand of pyrotechnics to sort of let everybody know that I'm down.

Speaker 5:
[39:15] Oh, cool!

Speaker 6:
[39:16] Ta-da!

Speaker 4:
[39:17] Can I get an athletics check from everybody?

Speaker 5:
[39:19] Athletics, you said?

Speaker 4:
[39:20] Yes. Could we totally have gotten a little bit worse?

Speaker 6:
[39:23] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[39:23] So the MTCs have it under control amongst themselves?

Speaker 5:
[39:27] 15 plus 3, 18.

Speaker 6:
[39:31] 7 minus 1, 6.

Speaker 4:
[39:39] What'd you get, Wayne?

Speaker 3:
[39:41] Oh, sorry, athletics check.

Speaker 4:
[39:43] Thank you for apologizing.

Speaker 3:
[39:45] 15 plus two, 17.

Speaker 2:
[39:49] Cool.

Speaker 4:
[39:51] Holy, what'd you get?

Speaker 1:
[39:53] 14 plus three, 17.

Speaker 4:
[39:56] Great.

Speaker 1:
[39:56] She's only 17.

Speaker 2:
[39:58] No.

Speaker 1:
[39:59] I know, it's terrible, it's really gross. It didn't age well.

Speaker 4:
[40:07] You guys are, you guys are going to be able to swim in the surface. You do, however, here's like this heavy churning in the water. So much making butter.

Speaker 2:
[40:18] Well, it is.

Speaker 3:
[40:19] Loving, touching, squealing.

Speaker 4:
[40:21] The water is flooding.

Speaker 2:
[40:23] Journey in the water.

Speaker 4:
[40:24] The water is flooding this massive chamber, and the water level is rising. And the Kua Toa will tell you, all right, we think we could find the opening, but there's something in the water with us.

Speaker 5:
[40:34] Oh, 100 percent. Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[40:35] Something very large.

Speaker 4:
[40:36] Oh, boy.

Speaker 5:
[40:36] I was going to say the lid. Oh, it's fucking, what's it? The fucking centipede worm god.

Speaker 4:
[40:44] And we'll have to see if it's the centipede worm god on the next episode of 67. Sam, what happened to that? Episode 67, Chris killed the plesiosaur, Little Peepers has been captured by the Kewitowa, and Goat C, often associated with the domain GoatSE.CX, was a notorious internet shock site that emerged in the late 1990s, becoming one of the earliest and most infamous viral images and memes. The site's main image, frequently titled Hello.JPEG, showed a hunched-over naked man using both hands to stretch his anus and wrecked him to an extreme degree. The image is an example of shock culture designed to cause visceral disgust and shock.

Speaker 2:
[41:32] To what end?

Speaker 6:
[41:33] The internet used to be fun.

Speaker 4:
[41:34] Exactly.

Speaker 5:
[41:35] Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4:
[41:36] 30 years ago.

Speaker 3:
[41:39] All right.

Speaker 4:
[41:41] Sam, thank you. darkestwimsy.com.

Speaker 3:
[41:44] Petty Newfellow Kids.

Speaker 4:
[41:45] Blaine, is your show yet?

Speaker 3:
[41:47] I'm going to be at the Sacramento Punchline with Bobcat at the end of April, beginning of May. Come and see it, please.

Speaker 1:
[41:56] In May, I have ComedyWorks in Denver with JT Habersat, I think like the 7th through the 9th. And then the following weekend, I'm in Springfield, Missouri, just Friday, Saturday shows. And then there's other shit coming up, brianposehn.com.

Speaker 7:
[42:30] Nerd Poker Mailbag! Dear Nerd Poker, should they thank me for calling? Is my call important to them? Should I stay on the line because my call will be answered in the order in which it was received? Should I press zero to talk to an operator? Do you think the operator would want to go on a date? Am I lonely?

Speaker 4:
[42:58] We'll have your answers.

Speaker 3:
[42:59] Yes, no, no, yes, no, yes.

Speaker 7:
[43:03] On the next Nerd Poker.

Speaker 1:
[43:09] Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com/nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. You can also send us anything at PO. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening.