transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show, 93.

Speaker 2:
[00:14] Word up and word life. Welcome to the 93X Half-Assed Morning Show. I was just a settin here with my cellular telephone trying to see the final results from last night's hockey game. I don't know about the rest of years, but I had to hit the fart sack after the second period. I had nothing left. Again, much thanks to the Jackals at the National Hockey League for starting the biggest games of the season at 9 p.m. local time. We all really appreciate that. Same goes to the Dicks at the National Basketball Association. So anyways, like a lot of yous who are listening at this hour, these games start too late. We can't stay up and watch them. So I was looking up how the game wrapped up. What a damn shame.

Speaker 3:
[01:08] That is too bad. Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 2:
[01:09] When I turned out the lights, Cubby, at the end of the second period, the Pigs had all the momentum in the world. All the momentum in the world. They were a goal up. Going into the third period, they ended up taking it in the shorts.

Speaker 4:
[01:25] It sure did seem like they were going to win that game. So much so that I thought, wow, this will be fun tomorrow because we'll get an empty netter. The Wilds are going to score one they don't need.

Speaker 2:
[01:33] You know they wouldn't go without scoring an empty net goal if they had the lead late in the game.

Speaker 4:
[01:37] Open to keep the streak alive, start a sports break with an empty netter.

Speaker 2:
[01:42] If you haven't been paying attention, Josh and Dana have been torturing me with empty net goal highlights, audio highlights. When there are other goals being scored currently in the playoffs with the goalie between the pipes, you guys want to play me audio from one of my least favorite gimmicks in all of sports, the empty net goal. Yeah, we didn't get that opportunity.

Speaker 4:
[02:07] Like you said, I went to bed about the same time as you, and I thought the same thing. Well, they got this. Here we go. They're going to get a win. They're also going to give us an empty net goal to irritate Nick tomorrow morning. It's going to be a great day.

Speaker 2:
[02:21] I mean, obviously, anything can happen. And there were still 20 minutes. Well, theoretically, there were 20 minutes of hockey remaining. The third period had yet to be played when I hit the sack. But I don't think I'd ever seen such a crowd pop than what the pigs got at the ass end of the second period. Because they played a great period, and the crowd was on their feet immediately. Holy smokes, what a period of hockey. Let's go, boys. There was plenty more than 20 minutes. Little did we know, there was more than 20 minutes remaining. And they took it in the pills. So the reason why I'm even going into all this, well, I wanted to bitch again about the late start times, because that just aggravates them. The reason I brought this up, I simply want to know, for any of you who had the balls to make it all the way through that hockey game, what time was it locally when Dallas put the nail in the coffin with that power play goal?

Speaker 5:
[03:17] 12.54.

Speaker 2:
[03:19] 12.54.

Speaker 3:
[03:21] Oh, my god. Thank god I went to sleep.

Speaker 5:
[03:23] And I had friends who read the game that they didn't get home until about 2 AM.

Speaker 3:
[03:27] Come on.

Speaker 4:
[03:29] I was telling Nick off the year, I feel so bad for my oldest. I saw him last night. He gets off work. He comes, hangs out with us, excuse me, for a couple hours. And he went to the Wild Game last night and he's got to get up this morning for Old Man Hockey. He's the youngest on his team by about 20 years. He's a goalie. And I think he said he gets up like at five or so.

Speaker 5:
[03:48] Oh, no.

Speaker 4:
[03:49] And he's like, even if it goes into overtime tonight, I'm staying. He's one of the biggest Wild fans I know, hockey fans in general.

Speaker 5:
[03:54] Absolutely.

Speaker 4:
[03:55] So I can't wait to talk to him later today. I'd imagine he's going to be a zombie because he has to work right after hockey.

Speaker 5:
[04:01] And the goalie can't call in sick. They need the goalie for old man hockey.

Speaker 4:
[04:04] Exactly.

Speaker 5:
[04:05] There's only one.

Speaker 4:
[04:05] He's it.

Speaker 2:
[04:06] It was interesting when Josh was telling me this off there. I had a question for him. My question was, so when did your stepson sign up for the worst beer league hockey?

Speaker 3:
[04:17] Yeah, why is it in the morning?

Speaker 2:
[04:18] Why is he playing?

Speaker 5:
[04:19] That's coffee league hockey.

Speaker 2:
[04:21] Yes. How did he find himself in the worst adult hockey league known to man where you have to get up at 5 a.m. on a Thursday in order to play it?

Speaker 4:
[04:31] Well, I think what it is is, you know, it's tough to find ice time, for one. But also, these guys are so much older, they want to they go, they play hockey, then they go to like the country club, you know, they're retired. They got nothing else going on. So, yeah, he gets up. He's been committed. He's been playing this since out of high school.

Speaker 2:
[04:49] That is the worst beer league I've ever heard of in my life.

Speaker 3:
[04:53] Sounds pretty miserable.

Speaker 6:
[04:55] Oh, my God.

Speaker 4:
[04:56] That's a what's that morning drink? The one that orange juice. I can't think. No, the Bloody Mary.

Speaker 5:
[05:03] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[05:03] Bloody Mary.

Speaker 5:
[05:04] Yeah, definitely. They call those the driver, the eye openers.

Speaker 2:
[05:08] I played 20 some years of beer league hockey. I got to say this now. I don't think I want to play hockey with guys who are willing to get up at five o'clock in the morning. I don't think I want to know that crowd.

Speaker 4:
[05:19] They're committed.

Speaker 2:
[05:21] So anyway, there you go. What a drag. I'm not concerned about the Pigs at all. This series is going seven games. The drag is, again, that these are the biggest games of the season, and a lot of us don't get a chance to watch them happen. So again, F-U-N-H-L, F-U-N-B-A, the Wolves play their biggest game of the year tonight. That game won't start until 9 PM. And as I'm sure you've noticed, they list these games as starting at 8.30.

Speaker 3:
[05:51] Yeah, and they never do.

Speaker 2:
[05:53] No, don't ever believe that. 8.30 means 8.45 or possibly 9. 9.30? 9.30 means 9.45 or maybe even 10. It's all a scam and I hate them for it, especially when we miss out. I mean, obviously, last night was an all-timer, a friggin all-timer. Here's the deal, dog owners or even you far better educated and far more sophisticated cat owners, later on our veterinarian friend, Dr. Andrea Johnston, will be in studio. If you'd like to ask the vet, Ski, you can go right ahead and do that. She'll be here around 8.30. Keep that in mind, around 8.30. If you have a question, be ready to send that question over our text machine. 651-989-9393 is the number over there. So hope you're doing all right, everybody. Especially you. You folks who made her all the way through. Folks like Dana's friends. Game ends at 1 a.m. They don't even leave St. Paul until 2 a.m. I gotta get over this. I'll keep going all morning long.

Speaker 4:
[07:08] Do they have to work in the morning or do they have the day off?

Speaker 5:
[07:10] No, they're working. Well, they're scheduled to work, let's put it that way. True. I found out immediately from, I didn't have to Google the score, I just woke up to a lot of angry text messages and group threads.

Speaker 4:
[07:22] Yeah, the first thing I did was ask my digital assistant speaker lady what happened, thinking of course, we're going to say the wild one.

Speaker 5:
[07:28] Yeah, wild win 5-2, empty net goal, let's piss off Nick.

Speaker 4:
[07:33] Right, a little added bonus.

Speaker 2:
[07:35] You'll have your opportunities, I bet.

Speaker 5:
[07:37] I bet.

Speaker 2:
[07:37] Before the Stanley Cup playoffs are over, we're only in the opening frigging round here.

Speaker 5:
[07:42] That's right, three games in.

Speaker 2:
[07:44] You'll have your chances to drive me up a frigging wall.

Speaker 4:
[07:48] Maybe someday you'll get that apology from the NHL that is deserved.

Speaker 2:
[07:52] No.

Speaker 4:
[07:52] Or the NBA.

Speaker 2:
[07:53] Nope. Nope. They're too full of themselves.

Speaker 5:
[07:57] They're sitting back counting their money.

Speaker 2:
[07:58] Yep. They don't care what you think, what I think, what anybody thinks.

Speaker 4:
[08:04] Well, I'd like to apologize to the streamers. We had a nightmare of a streaming issue yesterday. Hopefully that's not the case today. I know it's frustrating.

Speaker 3:
[08:12] Yeah, that was so bad.

Speaker 4:
[08:14] We had nothing to do with whatever word. We have no idea really what happened.

Speaker 5:
[08:19] I was so relieved I didn't F something up.

Speaker 4:
[08:21] So was I, to be honest. I was like, okay, hopefully Dana didn't screw it up. And hopefully, you know, it's like, I couldn't come up with anything on our end what was going on. But yeah, I have no clue. Hopefully it's fixed. Let us know if it's not. I appreciate that you did yesterday. And again, apologies. That's really frustrating that that happened.

Speaker 2:
[08:39] Did we have a bad day yesterday with the streaming?

Speaker 4:
[08:41] We did. And it's such a sign of the times. I thought this was pretty funny, actually. And I actually understood it. We got at least three texts from people saying, hey, your streaming is down. We tried it on a couple of different apps. Is there any other way to listen to the show? And I thought, well, that's so 2026. I said, well, yeah, if you know, if you got a radio in your car or a radio, the radio, you can listen over the air. And I thought about it. I do in my car, you know, obviously. But we only have one at home and it's packed away. Everything else we do is streaming. So same here. So some folks were just maybe they, you know, already at work or whatever. It didn't have a radio. They couldn't listen.

Speaker 2:
[09:21] I've got a couple of radios, three of them actually still plugged in and programmed in the house. I still like just listening to the stinking radio.

Speaker 4:
[09:32] So again, apologies. People are texting in saying, so far so good today. That's good. We owe you something after that. That sucks. All right.

Speaker 2:
[09:43] How about this now? How about we continue on with this? The Nate Cherboy, Rick Flair. He's fine. I know a lot of you, especially at this hour, when we bring up a celebrity, you automatically assume that they've checked out. They've died.

Speaker 5:
[10:04] And especially Rick Flair.

Speaker 2:
[10:05] Especially a guy who is.

Speaker 4:
[10:06] How many times has he died publicly? Seven.

Speaker 2:
[10:09] Seven times he's died. He's come back every time.

Speaker 4:
[10:11] I mean, there's been times where legitimately he was so sick. People were saying, this is it. It's so sad. And then he just, what do they call it, kicks out at two in the wrestling business?

Speaker 2:
[10:21] That son of a bitch kicked out at two. He did. So Rick, well, I'll get there in just a second. But he's fine as far as I know. As far as as of 5:50 AM Central Daylight Time, Rick Flair is still breathing. Anything's possible with the guy, as Josh just pointed out. He's had many near misses. I remember that that last real serious scare with his health. How many years ago was that now? Maybe 10, where there were reports everywhere saying this is it. His organs are failing. I mean, whatever it was, let's just say 10 years ago, it feels like it was around that time. I know that it was in the summer because I was at Brainerd International Raceway for the NHRA Drag Races. Even when we were on our way up to BIR, there were reports everywhere that he was on his way out. This is it for the NH. We're sitting at our campsite, drinking beer, just hanging out, thousands of derelicts everywhere for the races. I don't know if you folks know this, but when you sit at the campground, the zoo, everyone has their party vehicle, whether it be a golf cart or a remodeled suburban that's turned into a massive two-story party wagon. Everyone's just circling and circling and circling, drinking and raising hell. Well, suddenly, as we're sitting in our campsite, everyone who's on a vehicle is, whoo, whoo, they're coming from all corners of the campground. Everyone who's, they're all, and I, I said to some buddies I was sitting with, I said, oh no, everyone's wooing. They must have heard that Flair died. So I even waved somebody down. I said, what's everyone wooing for? Oh yeah, just the news just broke on Google or whatever. It looks like Flair's done, okay? That was 10 years ago. He wasn't done. He kicked out at two. Here's the late, here's the latest on Rick Flair. Hand him another belt. Hand him another championship belt. He says he's had more sex with women than Wilt Chamberlain.

Speaker 6:
[12:42] You know that famous Wilt Chamberlain 10,000 number?

Speaker 7:
[12:45] I blew by him and I was 39. 39?

Speaker 2:
[12:50] You're double now.

Speaker 7:
[12:51] Well, the one thing I want to make clear to you, there weren't all 10s. There was a couple of heavyweights along the way, but it was in a small town.

Speaker 4:
[13:01] Listen to his laugh.

Speaker 5:
[13:04] That laugh was creepy.

Speaker 8:
[13:05] A couple of heavyweights.

Speaker 2:
[13:11] He finds himself really funny.

Speaker 4:
[13:12] He does.

Speaker 8:
[13:15] That's a good line.

Speaker 2:
[13:16] So apparently this is old news. He says he blew by Wilt Chamberlain as far as career female sexual partners. He says he blew by Wilt the Stilt when he was 39 years old. I mean, of course, this is a television wrestler. They've been known to push the truth a little bit.

Speaker 3:
[13:39] I believe him.

Speaker 2:
[13:41] Most folks do.

Speaker 5:
[13:42] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[13:43] It's easy to.

Speaker 2:
[13:44] Most folks do.

Speaker 5:
[13:46] I have a buddy who's not really into wrestling, and like the rest of some of my friends are. This was about 10 years ago. We were at a bar, and we were talking wrestling and talking flair, and he goes, oh yeah, my mom, when I was a kid, she used to, when Ric Flair would pop on TV, she'd say, oh yeah, I used to hang out with him, because he had some time in Minneapolis. And then he kind of stops and kind of has a thought. He goes, there's a chance Ric Flair's my dad.

Speaker 2:
[14:13] Or at least there's a good chance that Ric Flair pinned your mother.

Speaker 5:
[14:17] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[14:18] And I don't mean in the ring.

Speaker 5:
[14:20] No.

Speaker 2:
[14:22] So in 1991, Wilt Chamberlain, in his biography, which was called A View From Above, Wilt Chamberlain claimed he had folded 20,000 women in his lifetime. That's a well-known thing, well-known thing. Maybe you're younger and you have no idea, but this information has been out there for years and years and years. It's all anybody wanted to talk about when Wilt Chamberlain's name came up. No one wanted to talk about his basketball career anymore. Maybe that's the way he wanted it. So Wilt said in his book, 20,000 different ladies. And I don't know how old he was in 1991, Wilt Chamberlain, but he said it all equaled out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was 15 years old.

Speaker 5:
[15:22] Oh my god.

Speaker 3:
[15:25] Busy.

Speaker 5:
[15:26] Not enough gatorade in the world.

Speaker 3:
[15:27] Yeah, my lord.

Speaker 2:
[15:29] But the Natch, you heard him in the audio, he was on a podcast or something. And he doesn't sound good, but anyway, the Natch says he passed that number when he was 39 years old. At this point, Rick, is 76, 77, somewhere in that neighborhood.

Speaker 5:
[15:44] Right.

Speaker 4:
[15:45] Boy, that's a lot of math. I mean, that's over 800 women a year. Let's say he lost his virginity at 15 years old. How did he find the time? My gosh.

Speaker 2:
[15:59] I do not know.

Speaker 5:
[16:00] It's one after the other.

Speaker 4:
[16:02] I guess so. I mean, they must have been lined out the door.

Speaker 5:
[16:05] Yeah, they wanted to ride Space Mountain.

Speaker 4:
[16:08] My goodness.

Speaker 2:
[16:10] Should I give them the line again?

Speaker 5:
[16:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[16:12] This is one of Rick's favorite lines over the last 15, 20 years. Space Mountain, it might be the oldest ride at the park, but it's still got the longest line. So your buddy's mom might have had intercourse with Rick Flair. Yeah. Cool.

Speaker 5:
[16:31] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2:
[16:32] That's pretty cool.

Speaker 5:
[16:33] I want definitive truth. I always ask about it. When we had Rick Flair in studio a couple of years ago, he goes, I see you had my dad on the show today.

Speaker 2:
[16:41] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[16:47] That's the laugh of a bad man.

Speaker 5:
[16:49] That's maniacal.

Speaker 4:
[16:51] So creepy.

Speaker 2:
[16:52] Thank you, Medical Device Jesus, who said it was August of 2017 when The Nature had the multiple organ failure and was on death's door. So nine years, coming up on nine years ago.

Speaker 5:
[17:07] You said you heard a lot of woos at BIR.

Speaker 2:
[17:09] Everyone was convinced he was dead, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[17:12] When I went to WrestleMania in Orlando, excuse me, for Ric Flair's final match, at that point, final match against Shawn Michaels.

Speaker 2:
[17:20] I don't blame you for forgetting your time in Orlando. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great match.

Speaker 5:
[17:25] It was a wonderful match, but he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. It was known that was going to be his last match. The amount of woos I heard that weekend, it was just how you greeted and how you said goodbye to somebody. You'd see somebody on the street in a stone cold and give them a woos, a stone cold t-shirt, you give them a woo. You'd see somebody in the hotel lobby, give them a woo.

Speaker 4:
[17:44] You heard a lot of sporting events still. I wonder if there's a generation that doesn't even know what the woo means. It's just something that people do.

Speaker 2:
[17:53] You're probably right. Wait a minute, what are we doing? Right?

Speaker 4:
[17:56] Yeah, I've been wooing for... That's related to a wrestler? I had no idea.

Speaker 2:
[18:03] So, you know, I dig that story about your buddy where he said, yeah, many years ago, my mom used to hang out with Flair, and it must have dawned on him. Well, you explained it. It dawned on him. Oh, no, my mom used to hang out with Flair.

Speaker 5:
[18:20] You can kind of see him at the bar doing the mental math in his head, kind of figuring out like, oh, wait, wait a minute.

Speaker 2:
[18:28] So, quite a few years ago, my mother was telling stories of her youth, and she came from a small town, but of course, they'd come to Minneapolis now and again to experience city things. And she said, when she was a teenage gal, she came into the city here, Minneapolis, and they went out and saw Bo Diddley in concert.

Speaker 4:
[19:00] Talented guy.

Speaker 2:
[19:01] The old blues guitar player, Bo Diddley. And she told this fascinating story of seeing Bo Diddley in some little club in Minneapolis. And then, she and her girlfriends all hung out all night long and drank all night long in a hotel room with Bo Diddley and Bo Diddley's band. And I thought to myself, wow, that is the coolest. Hey, wait a minute. And then, you know what messed with me is I looked at pictures of Bo Diddley when he was young. And he and I look a little bit similar. That was the Bo Diddley style of music right there. When you look at a picture of Bo Diddley when he was young, he and I look kind of similar.

Speaker 6:
[19:59] Don't wait, Josh, look at a picture of Bo Diddley.

Speaker 4:
[20:02] I don't see it, but...

Speaker 2:
[20:03] So I called my mom, I said, what really happened with Bo Diddley?

Speaker 6:
[20:07] Am I the son of Bo Diddley?

Speaker 2:
[20:09] She wouldn't tell me.

Speaker 4:
[20:10] Did you look up some of the band members to see if there is a closer resemblance? Any of them have a gap between their front teeth?

Speaker 2:
[20:16] Look at Bo Diddley when he was 20 years old and look at me.

Speaker 4:
[20:20] I'm going to look up his band members.

Speaker 1:
[20:24] Ba-dum-pum-pum-pum.

Speaker 3:
[20:28] Please let there be one with a gap in their teeth.

Speaker 4:
[20:31] And he named Nick as if Nick's name...

Speaker 2:
[20:34] Bo Diddley had a gap in his teeth. That's where I'm going with this. And you know what? If it's true, I don't care.

Speaker 4:
[20:42] He had a gap in his teeth?

Speaker 2:
[20:43] Well, yeah, at least the pictures I'm looking at.

Speaker 4:
[20:45] Oh, I don't remember that.

Speaker 2:
[20:46] But we have a similar face anyway. I don't care. That's all right. I just wish I would have known the man.

Speaker 5:
[20:54] You want to get to know your father a little bit.

Speaker 2:
[20:56] Yeah, I mean, doesn't everybody want to? Ah, pretty cool, though, for it to be whatever, 1962 or whatever, and to go to Minneapolis and see Bo Diddley.

Speaker 5:
[21:10] Absolutely.

Speaker 4:
[21:10] Legend.

Speaker 2:
[21:11] Son of a bitch. All right, what else is going on around here? Who did your mom mess around with, Josh?

Speaker 4:
[21:20] Nobody. I think my dad was her one and only.

Speaker 2:
[21:23] Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5:
[21:25] My mom was a...

Speaker 4:
[21:27] Yeah, Jesus Christ had a lot to do with it, actually. Yeah. Her love of Jesus.

Speaker 2:
[21:32] She didn't have anything on the side or nothing?

Speaker 4:
[21:34] Not that I'm aware of.

Speaker 2:
[21:35] No musicians, no athletes?

Speaker 4:
[21:36] Nothing. Boring.

Speaker 2:
[21:39] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[21:40] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[21:41] Yeah. All right, Ashley, you go.

Speaker 3:
[21:45] I don't, I guess we haven't really talked about it.

Speaker 2:
[21:47] Who did your mom mess around with?

Speaker 3:
[21:49] I just know that she had, because she has children from, so like a previous relationship and that guy was in like a local band.

Speaker 6:
[21:57] Oh, a local band.

Speaker 3:
[21:59] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[21:59] Oh, okay. I can't, I'm not suggesting there was any relationship whatsoever, but my mom used to hang out with Tony Oliva when she went to the same gym or something. So they used to like go for walks.

Speaker 2:
[22:13] A major league athlete?

Speaker 3:
[22:15] That's pretty sweet.

Speaker 4:
[22:15] I, you were saying like a possible relationship. There was no way there was a relationship there, but I was trying to think if she's ever mentioned a celebrity.

Speaker 3:
[22:23] They were going on walks?

Speaker 4:
[22:25] Yeah, like around the little gym course there?

Speaker 2:
[22:29] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[22:30] The little track?

Speaker 2:
[22:31] Sure, I understand the concept.

Speaker 5:
[22:32] My mom was an airline attendant, a flight attendant.

Speaker 2:
[22:35] Oh, well, there you go.

Speaker 5:
[22:37] In her 20s.

Speaker 2:
[22:38] Yeah, she bumped.

Speaker 5:
[22:40] She mentioned a couple of celebrities. She has a picture of her with Johnny Cash and his wife, which is pretty cool.

Speaker 2:
[22:46] What was her name, Johnny's wife?

Speaker 5:
[22:47] Gosh, I know, I'm blanking on it too.

Speaker 6:
[22:56] June.

Speaker 5:
[22:56] There it is.

Speaker 6:
[22:58] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[22:58] So she mentioned that and said Johnny Cash and his wife are very pleasant, took a picture with her. And she also mentioned that she got hit on by Bill Cosby.

Speaker 6:
[23:09] I did not put the bills in the chocolate.

Speaker 4:
[23:15] Yeah, no offense, but is there a woman who was ever around Bill Cosby who wasn't hit on by Bill Cosby?

Speaker 5:
[23:22] Right.

Speaker 4:
[23:23] At the time, that would be sweet.

Speaker 5:
[23:25] When she first told me the story in, you know, what, 1999, you know, whatever.

Speaker 3:
[23:29] Oh, it was still cool?

Speaker 5:
[23:30] Yeah, it was like, oh, wow, Bill Cosby was flirting with my mom. That's awesome. And then, you know, 20 years later, like, eh.

Speaker 3:
[23:38] Stay away from her, Bill.

Speaker 4:
[23:39] He was one of my all-time favorites.

Speaker 6:
[23:42] I would like to upgrade my tickets to first class. I would like to update my tickets to first class because I'm sitting in the chair and they have all the legroom.

Speaker 2:
[23:55] Could I keep going with this, Josh?

Speaker 4:
[23:56] Drink, drink.

Speaker 6:
[23:57] Is it working at all?

Speaker 4:
[23:58] Have a sip.

Speaker 2:
[23:59] Is my imitation of Eddie Murphy's imitation of Bill Cosby, is it working at all?

Speaker 4:
[24:03] It's working on me.

Speaker 5:
[24:04] Yeah, it's working on me too.

Speaker 2:
[24:05] The Cos.

Speaker 4:
[24:07] Just kind of cringe anytime that name comes up.

Speaker 5:
[24:09] I know.

Speaker 2:
[24:10] So Ashley, your mom used to hang out with a dude in a local band.

Speaker 3:
[24:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[24:14] The guys in the local bands, they like to bump.

Speaker 3:
[24:17] Yeah, that's one of the reasons why their relationship did not last. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:
[24:26] That's awesome.

Speaker 6:
[24:29] I play the bass guitar in the local band. I like to meet all the ladies from Norton St. Paul.

Speaker 3:
[24:38] Yeah, basically.

Speaker 4:
[24:40] So Bill Cosby shattered a lot of people, including certainly myself. I wanted him to be my grandpa. We watched the Cosby Show. I thought he was great. I listened to his comedy albums.

Speaker 2:
[24:49] You wanted him to be your grandpa.

Speaker 4:
[24:50] Yeah. I mean, my family, my whole family bonded over our love of Bill Cosby. So shattered when the news came out. Disgusted. I just can't stand the man anymore and it's such a change. This has happened to me twice in my life. I don't even want to get into everything he did, but one of my favorite Vikings for a long time was Darren Sharper. Oh, Jesus. And oh my gosh. I mean, he came across as just like Bill Cosby, such a nice guy, just a guy he wanted to be around. And if you look up what he did, horrible. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:22] I hate when that happens so much.

Speaker 4:
[25:24] Well, you know, for a while, especially when Me Too kind of started, you'd bring somebody up and all it was like, hey, I enjoy this person. Then you'd find out some terrible stuff. You're afraid to say who you like anymore. Every once in a while that still happens.

Speaker 3:
[25:37] God, everybody's a scumbag.

Speaker 4:
[25:39] Yeah, I know. Every once in a while it still happens. Somebody on the show will say, oh yeah, that person's great and then somebody will text in, well, yeah, if you discount this thing that happened.

Speaker 3:
[25:48] If you like murderers.

Speaker 4:
[25:49] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:49] Great.

Speaker 6:
[25:50] Kangaroo panties. I went to the zoo and I saw the kangaroos and the kangaroo was wearing the kangaroo panties.

Speaker 9:
[26:00] Kangaroo panties.

Speaker 4:
[26:06] Yeah, box tossing Jesus. He's right. I got to get rid of my Chris list. It's a list of all the Chris's I have crushes on. The best Chris's out there, Pine Pratt, Evans, Kringle, Hockey, Hemsworth, Stahl, Jimmy Garoppolo and Henry Cavill have all been on that list for a very long time. Now, I'm worried. I'm worried one of them is going to disappoint me.

Speaker 5:
[26:25] He should be.

Speaker 2:
[26:27] One of our listeners claims that Bill Cosby invented the push pop. But I don't even know what a push pop is.

Speaker 4:
[26:36] Dana.

Speaker 2:
[26:36] What's a push pop?

Speaker 5:
[26:37] I can probably send you a couple links.

Speaker 10:
[26:39] What's a push pop?

Speaker 5:
[26:40] I'll send you some links.

Speaker 2:
[26:41] All right. Before we go, we got to go to a commercial break. We started off a little earlier talking about Rick Flair. He went on somebody's podcast the other day, and he says, he's had sex with more women than Will Chamberlain. Okay. Fair enough. Will believe the story, mainly because we couldn't possibly care less. But he's Rick Flair. I wanted to tell you one more Rick Flair story. This is one of my favorites. When my buddy Mack got all set to get married, we had his groom's dinner at Billy's Lighthouse in Long Lake, which is now called Birch's, if it matters at all to you. We love Billy's Lighthouse, and so did the Natch. The Natch was always in and out of the bar there. The night of Mack's groom's dinner, he hosted it at Billy's Lighthouse. So we had our little private party room there, and we were 23, 4 years old, hanging around drinking for this groom's dinner, and in walks Rick Flair and his entire family, and they walked into their own private party room, and being young guys who were way dialed into wrestling. That's so sweet. We were like, all right. We had heard he comes in and out of here all the time. That's our first time seeing the nature in person walk in. So we're binge drinking, of course, and with every beer, we're getting more and more brave. And Mac himself, the host of this groom's dinner, he says, after about nine beers, he says, I'm going over to Flair's party room. I'm kicking that frigging door open, and I'm going to woo louder than any woo has ever wooed. And I said, don't do it, dude. He'll kill you. He's the...

Speaker 3:
[28:41] Yeah. See?

Speaker 2:
[28:44] I said, don't do it. He's got his family in there. He's crazy. He's Ric Flair. You've seen him on television. Don't do it. He was bound and determined. So sure as hell, he rips down his ninth beer, and he got walking firmly over to the closed door on the Flair party room, and he delivered. Mac kicks open that frigging door, and he goes, whoo! I expected him to be thrown through a wall.

Speaker 3:
[29:12] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[29:13] But Flair and all of his kids, whatever woman he was with at the time, they broke out into a huge laugh, and Flair gave them a thumbs up, and we lived to tell the story.

Speaker 5:
[29:23] That's awesome.

Speaker 3:
[29:23] That's got lucky.

Speaker 2:
[29:24] Oh, my god. All right. We ought to get going for real. I know a lot of yous are hurting this morning. Local hockey game. Josh, this should have been the headline in the newspapers today. Local hockey game ends at 12:54 AM.

Speaker 4:
[29:46] Yeah, ridiculous. It should never start on one date and end on a different date. Yes. Especially during the work week.

Speaker 2:
[29:55] Work week.

Speaker 11:
[29:55] No, right.

Speaker 2:
[29:56] When a guy's got to get some... We'll check the stupid news here when we come back.

Speaker 1:
[30:02] Stupid news on the Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 2:
[30:14] Get ready. Let's see if we can be ready for this one. I know what some of you are gonna say. You're gonna say, this damn bit again, it's a matter with these guys. But don't hate, these fellas are young. They can't help themselves. They're having too much fun. Some Air Force fighter jet pilot type of characters. Can you picture it?

Speaker 4:
[30:42] Yeah, I've seen the movies.

Speaker 2:
[30:45] Some Air Force fighter jet pilots.

Speaker 4:
[30:47] Seen the planes.

Speaker 2:
[30:49] They went up in the air a few days ago and they drew giant dicks in the sky.

Speaker 5:
[30:54] It's hilarious.

Speaker 4:
[30:55] I do think this bit's pretty good.

Speaker 3:
[30:57] Yeah, it's always good.

Speaker 2:
[30:58] Two sky dicks, don't you know? Plus balls. And maybe you're wondering, well, how does a fighter jet quote, draw a PP and a set of NADs? And how would anybody be able to see that they're, and it's a fair question. You know how there are those flight tracking devices out there where you can follow the route of an airplane?

Speaker 4:
[31:25] Yeah, flight radar. They always capture the air weaners.

Speaker 2:
[31:31] Okay, flight tracking devices, flight radar. So as the pattern tracker follows the airplane, it draws a line on the screen that you're looking at. That's how they do it. They know folks are watching their pattern, so they drive the airplane this way and that way, and they draw up the sky rods.

Speaker 4:
[31:52] Do you guys know anybody who's so into aviation that they check out like flightradar.com and stuff like that?

Speaker 3:
[31:58] No.

Speaker 4:
[31:59] I know a couple. One's a pilot, so, you know, that's good that he really enjoys his work. And another one has never, never flown a plane, but is almost too into it to the point where I wonder what's going on with this guy.

Speaker 3:
[32:11] He should be on like a list.

Speaker 4:
[32:12] Why does he want to know? But, you know, he'll point out some air penises to me.

Speaker 2:
[32:16] I've never looked up anything of this nature. So you're saying this pal of yours gets on his computer, he gets on a certain website and can he tap into an airport like he'll go to Minneapolis International and he can track any airplane that takes off out of there?

Speaker 4:
[32:33] I think there's some, I don't know exactly what he does other than he checks it, right? I mean, I know on your phone sometimes you can, well, not sometimes, you can easily find out a flight, how it's going, if you're going to pick somebody up or whatever.

Speaker 5:
[32:45] There's definitely people too on the internet that track the private jets of celebrities to see where they're going to be. Yeah, that's odd to me.

Speaker 2:
[32:52] And celebrities with private jets, oh, I guess they have no choice in the matter. If the plane is in the air, it's...

Speaker 5:
[33:00] They know the tail number of Taylor Swift's jets, so they can look it up and see where it is and where it's flying, where it landed, that type of thing.

Speaker 4:
[33:08] I'm pretty excited. One week from today, I'll be staring at fighter jets and talking to military vets.

Speaker 5:
[33:14] That's right. You mean San Diego.

Speaker 4:
[33:15] Yeah, we're going to check out... I love checking out the aircraft carriers and all that kind of stuff over there. Last time we got to see a submarine. Sweet.

Speaker 3:
[33:22] Oh, dude, that would be so cool.

Speaker 5:
[33:23] I know you're a nerd for that stuff, so I'm very excited for you.

Speaker 4:
[33:25] Oh, yeah, there's going to be a lot of vets that wish they never met me, because I'm going to ask them every question.

Speaker 5:
[33:29] Oh, man.

Speaker 4:
[33:31] I'm going to talk way too much to them. I want to hear every story.

Speaker 5:
[33:35] Your standard conversation length is going to go into overdrive completely.

Speaker 4:
[33:39] They're going to just beg to be deployed somewhere. Why is this guy talking to me?

Speaker 5:
[33:45] Wow, he just jumped off the aircraft carrier into the ocean.

Speaker 2:
[33:50] Yeah, Cubby is the type of guy that will exhaust himself and exhaust his voice down to nothing. Just talking to some dork on a booze cruise. I can only imagine how winded you will be after having the opportunity to speak with some Air Force veterans. They are going to hate your guts.

Speaker 4:
[34:13] Yeah, I love hearing the stories. Some of them appreciate it.

Speaker 2:
[34:18] So, OK, so again, this is all new to me. So, any airplane, if it's taking up United States airspace or whatever the fancy term is, it has to be on record. It has to be tracked because my question was going to be if you're a big time celebrity with a private jet, you probably don't want where you're going and when you're leaving and when you're getting there to be public record, but they have no choice in the matter. Right.

Speaker 4:
[34:48] Sorry.

Speaker 2:
[34:48] No, no. That's interesting to me that people will just sit and watch the path of a random airplane and it's all public. It's all available to the public.

Speaker 4:
[35:01] Yeah. So people are checking in saying they love to do this. Gear Grinding Truck Driving Jesus said the Flight Radar App, you can point it at a plane and it'll tell you where it's going and coming from.

Speaker 2:
[35:13] Speed and everything, altitude and everything.

Speaker 4:
[35:16] I bet. I mean, have you been on a plane where they had the screen and you could kind of find all that info out like wind speed, like you said?

Speaker 2:
[35:22] Oh, yeah, I like doing that.

Speaker 4:
[35:23] How high up you are.

Speaker 2:
[35:24] I was going to mention that, you know, that I hate every single solitary second of air travel. Everything as soon as you walk into the airport, I begin to hate until I reach my destination. Silly. I find air travel to be totally unnecessary. But I will admit that one airplane ride, I think I was going from here to Hawaii. One airplane ride I took had that information on my little screeny screen. Where we were, how fast we were going, our altitude. You could listen in on the communication between the pilots and what do they call it on the ground, air traffic control.

Speaker 4:
[36:06] Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Speaker 2:
[36:07] I had that one time, and I've been looking for it ever since. That was really interesting, and it helped me enjoy the plane ride. It really did. And normally, I cannot wait to get out of that friggin tube of death. It really helped me enjoy the plane ride, to hear the boys in the cockpit saying, United 326, we're at this part here, we're going up this way. And then the guy on the ground would say, you're clear to do so, you know, on and on from there.

Speaker 4:
[36:35] A couple years back, or shoot, maybe even longer now, we were lucky enough to see Air Force One, my wife worked at the military base, and we had an opportunity to go out there. And so the guys that work at the base were telling us a little bit about it. We didn't get to go on it, we just got to see it, right? Be pretty close, actually. And they said you can take as many pictures as you want, just not the tail number. So like you're bringing up the tail number. So that was one thing we couldn't do. But I said, I was like, you know, you see like in the movies, there's these blacked out SUVs kind of surrounding it, but I thought there'd be more security. You know, they are on a military base, so obviously. But so I mentioned it to one of the guys. I'm like, I kind of thought they'd be all over the place. They're like, oh yeah, there is. And they were like, look at some of these buildings. They're snipers looking right at you. And he's telling me this, as I'm pulling my phone out of my pocket, so I stop, like, am I okay to do this? I'll show you guys some photos. Yeah, I'd love to see those.

Speaker 2:
[37:31] Here's a listener who texted in about these apps where you can track any airplane in the sky. One of our listeners says, my wife and I enjoy playing a little game while we're sitting out at the bonfire. We look at these apps and we have a guessing game where we have to guess as the plane goes overhead, we have to guess where they're going and where they came from. They're so used to tracking these planes, they've gotten good at guessing where they're going and where they came from. I have one little story about, Dana mentioned celebrities and their private jets. Many years ago, we were taken off on our own private jet. My first wife came from gobs and gobs of money, so we would take rides on their private jet. We were waiting for their private jet, doesn't belong to me. At that littler airport we have here in town, Josh, I don't know what that one's called.

Speaker 4:
[38:33] The one in St. Paul?

Speaker 2:
[38:35] I don't know, the littler one, it doesn't matter. We were sitting and waiting to get on this jet, and suddenly, all these some bitches in black suits and black sunglasses came rushing into the terminal, tiny little terminal. And we were now not allowed to go jump on our jet. We weren't even allowed to move. They all said, stay where you're at, don't go anywheres. We've got someone who just landed, and the rest of you simple bastards, just stay where you are. And I had no idea what was going on, because I was a novice traveler at the time, and everyone in my ex-wife's family was saying, ooh, I wonder who it could be.

Speaker 6:
[39:18] It was...

Speaker 2:
[39:24] Bill Clinton.

Speaker 4:
[39:26] Oh, really?

Speaker 2:
[39:26] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:28] It's kind of cool. The saxophone player?

Speaker 2:
[39:30] Yeah. Yeah, that was what he was... He was a saxophone player.

Speaker 4:
[39:35] Yeah. I saw him on...

Speaker 2:
[39:36] Just like yourself.

Speaker 4:
[39:38] Oh, yeah. I think we know the same song.

Speaker 2:
[39:40] You saw him where?

Speaker 4:
[39:42] On Arsenio Hall, one of the late shows playing...

Speaker 5:
[39:45] Oh, that was Arsenio Hall.

Speaker 4:
[39:46] Was it? Yeah. That's where I learned he was a saxophone player.

Speaker 5:
[39:48] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:49] Never heard of the guy.

Speaker 2:
[39:49] Oh, I thought maybe you saw him somewheres in person.

Speaker 4:
[39:51] No.

Speaker 2:
[39:52] Anyway, here's how you take a five-minute story and turn it into a 15-minute story. Air fight. How do I say that again, Josh? Air Force fighter jet pilots were drawing dicks in the sky. This was the damn Finnish Air Force. Did you guys know that the Finns had a frigging... So the pilots, it was a few of them. The pilots that drew the sky hogs were pulled aside and reprimanded. It says here, they deviated from their assigned flight patterns to draw two big fat Johnsons in the sky with nuts, again, with nuts. They deviated from their assigned, and that's not cool. Being in the Finnish Air Force is serious business. Part of the problem is what we've just been discussing. They were being followed on a publicly viewable flight tracking website. So there could have been small children watching, Cubby.

Speaker 12:
[41:02] Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting to create a dick and balls pattern in the sky.

Speaker 4:
[41:07] They didn't get permission. Did that sound like a Finnish accent to you guys? Okay, good.

Speaker 2:
[41:12] Oh, you knocked that out of the park, the Finnish accent.

Speaker 4:
[41:14] All right.

Speaker 3:
[41:15] I don't know what one would sound like.

Speaker 2:
[41:16] That's where I'm going with this, Ashley. I'm just trying to help them out.

Speaker 4:
[41:19] Oh, you don't either? Are you joking?

Speaker 2:
[41:22] No, I don't know what to-

Speaker 4:
[41:23] I didn't know.

Speaker 2:
[41:24] Don't worry about it, Josh.

Speaker 4:
[41:25] I tried to get a Finnish accent.

Speaker 2:
[41:27] Josh.

Speaker 4:
[41:29] Did that sound like a Finnish accent?

Speaker 2:
[41:31] So-

Speaker 12:
[41:31] Tower, this is Ghost Rider, requesting to create a dick and balls pattern in the sky.

Speaker 2:
[41:37] You were really trying to do a Finnish accent?

Speaker 4:
[41:40] Well, that wasn't- I did it on an AI voice changing website.

Speaker 2:
[41:45] The joke would have worked without an accent. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[41:49] Wanted to add some authenticity to it.

Speaker 3:
[41:51] Get it.

Speaker 4:
[41:52] You know, when it comes to dick humor, we're very particular about it.

Speaker 2:
[41:56] Now, these four Finns, the four pilots slash artists, they aren't solely dedicated to rude mid-air renderings, crass, disgusting renderings in the sky. It says here that along with the two rods, they also drew two hearts in the sky. They have a sensitive side.

Speaker 3:
[42:21] It's so cute. No, I like it, who cares? Whatever.

Speaker 4:
[42:26] Can I just say, I don't mean to be critical of their humor, but I think an American pilot could have made a more realistic dick. One of them was okay. The other one, you could barely call that a penis. I mean, it didn't look like one. I just realized it sounded like something you've said before. Yeah, it didn't look like a penis to me at all.

Speaker 2:
[42:43] You call that a penis?

Speaker 4:
[42:45] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[42:46] I had a girl holler.

Speaker 4:
[42:46] I didn't even mean to do that.

Speaker 2:
[42:47] I had a gal holler that at me during sex once. Now, that's humbling. She said, what is that, a penis or a tranquilizer dart? She said to me. Humbling. Few years ago, oh, speaking of American fighter jet pilots, Josh, a few years ago, two American fighter jet pilots drew a mega prick up in the sky over Central Washington State. Big one. Hilariously, after those pilots got in trouble for their sky dick, one of the pilots was asked why by the top commanders, the top brass asked this kid, why would you go ahead and do something like that? And the kid said, quote, because we thought it would be awesome.

Speaker 3:
[43:39] I get it.

Speaker 2:
[43:40] These are the finest we've got, Cubby.

Speaker 5:
[43:43] It's not just pilots, you know, joggers, they can track their path, you know, how far they ran. They can see that on a map. And some joggers, they will jog in a strategic pattern to make a jogging penis.

Speaker 4:
[43:55] Oh, yeah, yeah. I've heard of that.

Speaker 5:
[43:57] And then they post it on social media and we all have a laugh and move on with our lives.

Speaker 4:
[44:02] Well, yeah, but you didn't mean not to, Jesus said. If you draw hearts and a penis, it means you love D. I guess. Maybe that's what they were going for.

Speaker 2:
[44:10] Oh, sure. A penis and a heart. I didn't think of it that way.

Speaker 4:
[44:12] I didn't either.

Speaker 2:
[44:15] All right. Yeah. We got a good 15 minutes out of that one.

Speaker 4:
[44:21] Keep it up.

Speaker 5:
[44:22] Yeah, it's perfect.

Speaker 4:
[44:23] Makes it easier for us during the day.

Speaker 6:
[44:25] This guy sucks.

Speaker 2:
[44:28] But you got to admit, he's willing to put in the work when he feels like it's time to kill somebody.

Speaker 3:
[44:37] You got to really lock in when you're thinking about killing someone.

Speaker 2:
[44:40] Well, you got to focus, especially in this case, Josh. Oh, your name is not Josh. Your name is Dana.

Speaker 3:
[44:45] Yep.

Speaker 4:
[44:45] No, no, not even close.

Speaker 2:
[44:48] Ashley.

Speaker 3:
[44:50] That sounds right.

Speaker 2:
[44:51] This dude, he drove 100 miles to try and kill his ex-boss. You mentioned you got to lock in. Hell, yes, you got to be focused because that's a lot of miles with a lot of opportunities to change your mind. But he could not be, what's the word I'm looking for, Josh? His path could not be altered.

Speaker 4:
[45:14] We've had some pretty bad bosses here. I suffer some trauma to this day from a couple of them. Do you travel 100 miles or more to murder?

Speaker 2:
[45:25] All of them.

Speaker 4:
[45:27] Every single one?

Speaker 6:
[45:28] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[45:30] What's the furthest you'd go or is there a limit?

Speaker 2:
[45:36] Anything short of getting on an airplane.

Speaker 4:
[45:38] Okay, that was my thought. Would you be willing to do this? Drive to the coast, get on a ship, go to the next coast, rent a smart car or something and go find them?

Speaker 2:
[45:48] Yeah, I'm not afraid of boats.

Speaker 4:
[45:49] I love your commitment.

Speaker 2:
[45:50] Yeah. And I probably wouldn't kill them. I'd just beat the living hell out of them and maybe molest them a little bit.

Speaker 3:
[45:59] No! No.

Speaker 4:
[46:02] Quid pro quo. Get right back to it.

Speaker 2:
[46:04] Hey, right? They screwed us. Now I'm screwing you. It's a comedy show.

Speaker 4:
[46:12] He doesn't mean that.

Speaker 2:
[46:13] What we're doing around here, Ashley.

Speaker 4:
[46:14] The murder thing, I do believe he means.

Speaker 2:
[46:18] Oh, yeah, all of our all of our ex bosses, they all suck. So this guy drove 100 miles to try and kill his ex boss. This is a very English story. So forgive me if I get agitated. Dude traveled, if this means anything to you, he traveled all the way to Liverpool, England, from Birmingham, England, on a counter. He wanted to stab his old boss to death. This violent, psycho, very likely virgin. He goes by the very unique name of Mergeson. Okay. Mergeson, he used to work at what they call here a Kabob shop, which is stupid, but that's not the point. He used to work there. Mergeson did. His old boss's name is Donnie or something. So after Mergeson got canned from that silly Kabob shop, he would call the shop now again and talk to his ex-boss Donnie on the telephone. He'd say brilliant things like this. He'd say, you're going to give me some money? Okay. Donnie the boss, he would say, yeah, I'm actually not going to give you dick. Then Mergeson would say, oh yeah? We'll see. That was how they went back and forth on the telephone. Finally, one day after a long stretch of time, here comes Mergeson. Into the shop, he's looking for Donnie. And Mergeson's pounced on Donnie, and he's got a big fat ass knife in his hand. This is the moment that Mergeson has been waiting for. This is why he drove those 100 miles. But here's something that Mergeson didn't expect.

Speaker 13:
[48:24] Manfringinson.

Speaker 2:
[48:27] He did not expect that the rest of the staff working for Donnie at the Kabob shop would want to stand up for Donnie. The staff got their hands on Mergeson. They pulled him smooth off of Donnie. And then they beat his ass. Right out the door of Kabob King or whatever the name of the shop.

Speaker 3:
[48:57] I can't get over that this is like happening to these type of people like that work at a Kabob shop. That's not supposed to happen at a Kabob shop.

Speaker 4:
[49:06] Everybody's in a good mood at a Kabob shop. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[49:09] They beat him all the way out the door of Kabob Donalds or whatever the name of the... Donnie's okay. He said when the cops asked him about it, he said he knew that Merges in was a friggin loser from the word go. He said, I knew this guy was a friggin jag off. He's a little shaken up but Donnie's doing all right.

Speaker 3:
[49:30] Manfringenson.

Speaker 2:
[49:32] You guys ever notice that sometimes your co-worker turns out to be a dangerously delusional moron?

Speaker 3:
[49:37] Yeah, a couple times.

Speaker 4:
[49:38] I've known a couple. I don't fear for my life now.

Speaker 5:
[49:44] That's good.

Speaker 4:
[49:45] This is one of the first times in a long time where I don't have that fear.

Speaker 3:
[49:50] Yeah.

Speaker 9:
[49:51] How?

Speaker 3:
[49:54] There was a time where I've definitely thought working at jobs, we're like, that person's going to come back here tomorrow and kill us all.

Speaker 5:
[50:00] Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 4:
[50:01] Well, there was a funny moment. We've told the story before, but one of the bad bosses, actually, we had an engineer that worked here that luckily Nick and I got along with very well. He was a scary guy. He did seem like a workplace shooter. Definitely. If there was a Wikipedia photo, it would be this guy, very volatile. He would blow up over nothing. Even when he had nice exchanges with me and Nick, it was almost like he was angry at something else. But he leaves, comes back, and one of the bosses said, I'll use Nick's, Donnie, you're not here to kill us, are you, Donnie?

Speaker 2:
[50:40] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[50:41] I think he was half serious about it.

Speaker 2:
[50:43] That guy was different.

Speaker 4:
[50:45] I miss him though.

Speaker 2:
[50:46] He had a look in his eye.

Speaker 4:
[50:48] We've mentioned this before, but his thing, every day, he'd come in to see me and Nick. He'd kick open the studio door and say, what the F did you F'ers F up this time? That's how he greeted us every single morning.

Speaker 2:
[51:00] He had a look in his eye.

Speaker 6:
[51:01] By God, he did.

Speaker 2:
[51:04] Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 4:
[51:06] I agree with this text. Ashley's not a loser, but if you piss her off enough, she might just kill you. Yeah, but she'd come at you from the front. She wouldn't surprise you, sneak up from behind. You definitely would know. She'd want you to know.

Speaker 3:
[51:18] Yeah, 100%. I'd want to see the look in your eyes.

Speaker 4:
[51:22] As the life just fades away?

Speaker 3:
[51:24] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[51:25] That's what I'm going for, too. All right, I'm a little annoyed that I'm having to gut out two consecutive stories that involve kabob shops.

Speaker 5:
[51:37] What are the odds?

Speaker 2:
[51:38] But this could be fun.

Speaker 3:
[51:39] Have you guys ever seen a kabob shop?

Speaker 2:
[51:41] No.

Speaker 3:
[51:41] Yeah, what the heck?

Speaker 4:
[51:43] Not that one that's just kabobs.

Speaker 5:
[51:45] No, you've seen Van Hansen's and stuff, but not strictly just kabobs. Kabobs are us.

Speaker 2:
[51:52] We got to stop saying that word.

Speaker 3:
[51:54] I love a good kabob.

Speaker 4:
[51:55] That's a fun word.

Speaker 2:
[51:58] In Turkey, two... You go ahead and say it one more time, Joe.

Speaker 4:
[52:06] Kabob?

Speaker 2:
[52:06] Two kabob shop owners. They're bitter rivals, don't you know, these two shop owners? They both run their shops on the same block or something. I don't know. They took to beating each other half to death out on the sidewalk.

Speaker 3:
[52:23] There can only be one. You don't need two in one city.

Speaker 2:
[52:27] This deep rivalry finally came to blows, Cubby. Again, this is in Turkey. I believe there's video of the fight. Of course, there is. There's video of everything that happens. It sounds like it wasn't just the two shop owners who threw down on the sidewalk in broad daylight. It was pretty much every staff member from both shops spilled out on to the street and were clobbering each other over the skull with metal pipes. This was a war.

Speaker 4:
[52:58] Have you ever seen... There's one of the guys did this, and I'm wondering if you've ever seen this, where they were throwing punches, but you could tell they were scared at the same time. Like they're scared of throwing punches.

Speaker 2:
[53:09] They're not following through because that leaves you exposed to actually take a punch yourself.

Speaker 4:
[53:12] Yeah, they're kind of leaned back a little bit like, OK, I'm going to throw a punch, I guess.

Speaker 2:
[53:17] But these some bitches were swinging weapons. Customers were in line looking for a bite to eat when this cut loose. I'm not sure what started the fight. It sounds like a long time, a lot of bad blood over the years. But I mean, I'm curious as to what what was the spark that in that moment? I don't know. Maybe they planned this. I don't know. Folks, all the way from 17 years old, all the way up to 52 years old, letter buck out on the mean streets of Turkey, Kabob Shop versus Kabob. They were all determined to fight to the last man. The cops swung by and the whole pile of them were taken to the jailhouse. But a lot of them had to be taken to the hospital. We're talking, what did they say here? Severe head wounds, broken bones, the eyes fell out of one guy. They went to town. They were swinging pipes. They were stabbing and slashing each other with the silly Kabob sticks. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4:
[54:32] Big skewers.

Speaker 2:
[54:34] A variety of weapons, but it included impaling each other with the Kabob sticks. Oh, Kendo sticks.

Speaker 4:
[54:41] Oh, wow.

Speaker 2:
[54:42] Like they were Steve Blackman or Shinsuke Nakamura. There were Kendo sticks being swung.

Speaker 5:
[54:48] That's amazing.

Speaker 2:
[54:50] And like I said, a lot of these spools got carved up good. There was a lot of blood. They mentioned, like I said, cracked skulls and severe head. And the bottom line is, once they stitch these idiots up, a lot of them are going to prison for a long stretch of time. So long sucker kind of a thing, Josh.

Speaker 4:
[55:12] Yeah, I mean, shoot, I could understand why. Like you said, it wasn't just a normal fight. These guys wanted each other dead.

Speaker 2:
[55:19] Oh, God. They did. Okay. Should I squeeze in one more? What? I don't really want to squeeze in one more.

Speaker 4:
[55:30] We don't have to.

Speaker 2:
[55:32] Well, then we're not going to. Sports is next.

Speaker 1:
[55:36] On the 93X Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 14:
[55:39] Go out to Yoki, Jamal, all the bad defenders, Tim Hardaway, Cam Johnson, Aaron Gordon, the whole team. Like, just go at them. They're all bad defenders. Yeah, they're all bad defenders.

Speaker 2:
[55:52] I think it in any ways could light a fire under y'all defensively.

Speaker 7:
[55:55] You should need a fire lit under you in the playoff.

Speaker 5:
[55:59] You need a fire lit under you in the playoff. You're probably in the wrong moment, the wrong spot.

Speaker 14:
[56:04] This is just a part of the rivalry. I don't think you've had anybody out guard.

Speaker 15:
[56:06] That's on Jaden McDaniel's comments about your team's defense.

Speaker 5:
[56:10] I can't wait for his podcast. What was the bulletin board material?

Speaker 10:
[56:12] What does that worship at this point?

Speaker 5:
[56:14] What's our defense rating in this series? Two games.

Speaker 2:
[56:17] 109, right?

Speaker 5:
[56:18] 109.

Speaker 7:
[56:19] Yeah, really good. How is that?

Speaker 5:
[56:20] That's fair.

Speaker 2:
[56:21] Six best in the playoffs.

Speaker 5:
[56:22] Six best in the playoffs? Next.

Speaker 2:
[56:28] David Adelman, the head coach of the, what do they call that team again, Josh?

Speaker 4:
[56:32] Nuggets.

Speaker 2:
[56:32] The Denver Nuggets. He had some cute comments there. Responding to Jaden McDaniels calling the Nuggets defense just altogether bad. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. What was he saying, David Adelman?

Speaker 4:
[56:47] Basically, he was asking their rating in the playoffs.

Speaker 2:
[56:50] Defensive rating?

Speaker 4:
[56:51] Yeah, their defensive rating. Sort of denying or shooting down McDaniels' comments. But then at the end, he's like, K. Next, after he gets a positive stat.

Speaker 2:
[57:02] That's a positive stat? Sixth best in the playoffs?

Speaker 4:
[57:06] That's what the article led to believe he was saying.

Speaker 2:
[57:07] Anyway, Adelman didn't come up with anything very good. But you know how, Josh, we've talked before about how Byron Buxton. The dude is just cool. And there's no getting around it. He walks cool. He talks cool. When he's out on the ball field, everything he does is cool.

Speaker 4:
[57:24] Yeah, one of the coolest people in town, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[57:26] There was someone else we used to lump into this. We used to have this who's cooler. Oh, well, Edwards. Edwards. Jaden McDaniels is officially that guy now for me. Everything he friggin does and says is just cool.

Speaker 4:
[57:40] Yeah, because he doesn't, he's just always the same. There's no emotion.

Speaker 3:
[57:45] Yeah, he's unbothered.

Speaker 2:
[57:46] He's being himself.

Speaker 4:
[57:47] Well, I shouldn't say there's no emotion, but sometimes he gets pissed off.

Speaker 2:
[57:50] He does have little temper tantrums.

Speaker 3:
[57:52] I like that if he does something great, the camera will go to him and you're like, oh, I bet he is celebrating. I bet he's happy like anybody would be, and it's just a straight face.

Speaker 2:
[58:01] Yeah, it looks like he's reading, he's studying tax forms or something. I'm putting him in that ultra cool category. He ain't afraid of dick, and he's just himself. Wolf's Nugs tonight.

Speaker 16:
[58:19] Timber Wall.

Speaker 2:
[58:20] Later on, Randy Shaver is going to stop by, and he'll bug the hell out of us over the friggin NFL draft. Apparently, that's on television tonight. Earlier this morning, we talked up and down about last night's Pigs game. She was an all-timer. It's a damn shame that a lot of us weren't able to stay up and watch the entire game. It ended at 5 to 1 in the morning. Great hockey game. Pigs ended up on the wrong end of things. They lost in overtime. This series is just getting started. But she was an all-timer last night. We'll get into that at 7.30.

Speaker 5:
[58:53] I watched the highlight of the game-winning goal by the Stars. And there's a guy in the front row who... He doesn't look angry. He almost looks annoyed. The fact that they just lost and he's up so late. And he just instinctively just puts up a middle finger on the glass. But again, he wasn't pissed. More just looked annoyed, like, really? It's about 1 in the morning and I'm still up and we lost? This sucks.

Speaker 3:
[59:17] They stop serving booze, don't they?

Speaker 5:
[59:19] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[59:20] They don't reopen?

Speaker 5:
[59:21] No.

Speaker 3:
[59:21] Yeah, I'd leave. Yeah, you're not doing that. I understand it's playoff hockey. It was a great game. I would have laughed. No.

Speaker 5:
[59:26] Ashley goes and watches the rest of the game at Tom Reeds.

Speaker 3:
[59:29] Yeah, absolutely. Screw that.

Speaker 2:
[59:31] He came and drove all the way to St. Paul. And just to watch him lose in double overtime, it's 5 to 1. The sum bitch lives in Rockford or something like that.

Speaker 6:
[59:42] All right, we got to take a break.

Speaker 2:
[59:44] Josh, the guy over here, Cubby, news next.

Speaker 17:
[59:47] In the 60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. Would be no way of knowing.

Speaker 1:
[59:57] The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 6:
[60:01] 93X.

Speaker 11:
[60:03] It was so many shots, like it broke us up. And I was trying to convince myself it was like fireworks or something, but it was obvious what it was.

Speaker 4:
[60:11] A man in New Orleans is rethinking his anti-theft strategy. After it worked a little too well, and he nearly got everyone killed.

Speaker 2:
[60:19] Everyone?

Speaker 4:
[60:19] His deterrent, a mannequin in the passenger seat wearing a Michael Myers mask. Early Saturday morning, residents were jolted awake by gunfire as suspects moved down the street breaking into vehicles. When they reached a Toyota pickup and opened the door, they were startled by a horror villain inside. Instead of running from the masked figure riding shotgun, they opened fire with their real guns. When the smoke cleared, the truck had nearly 20 bullet holes in it. Not satisfied with just obliterating a plastic decoy, they also managed to hit two other vehicles in the side of homes, including the homeowner's house just above where he and his wife were sleeping and where the Michael Myers mask's been used while lovemaking.

Speaker 15:
[61:00] These guys were coming down the street and going into vehicles, and when they got to mine, they started to open the door and he got scared. He jumped backwards and started shooting, and then his two friends started shooting as well. And they just, it was like 30 something rounds.

Speaker 4:
[61:15] Miraculously, no one was injured, but neighbors are understandably rattled by the fact that a fake Halloween prop triggered what amounted to a neighborhood slasher film.

Speaker 11:
[61:23] He had the mannequin in his car to deter people from breaking into his car, but instead of just walking away, they just shoot at it that many times, and it could have been him.

Speaker 2:
[61:33] Let me tell you something.

Speaker 3:
[61:34] Yeah, exactly. What if it was some weirdo that just liked to wear a mask?

Speaker 2:
[61:37] I love New Orleans, Cubby, been there many times, but that place is iffy.

Speaker 3:
[61:42] Sounds like it.

Speaker 4:
[61:43] If this is evidence of that, you're right. It was crazy. I mean, the guy saw it. He got freaked out. Sure, you can understand getting a little freaked out. One, finding a person there, which they're not expecting, and second, he's dressed like Michael Myers.

Speaker 3:
[61:55] Maybe he just watched the movie, like the night before.

Speaker 4:
[61:57] But he opens fire instead of just running away. And then all his buddies open fire.

Speaker 2:
[62:03] I can't explain that. In a million years, I wouldn't be able to explain that reaction.

Speaker 4:
[62:08] And it wasn't like an instant...

Speaker 2:
[62:09] That's psychotic.

Speaker 4:
[62:11] Let's say it's an instant reaction. He pulls his gun and shoots. But he just kept going. He's running away. Still going. His friends are shooting.

Speaker 2:
[62:18] I don't know. I've said it before. I'll say it again. You know, there are people out there who are just... All they're doing is sitting and waiting for a reason. That's all they're doing.

Speaker 4:
[62:29] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:30] Waiting for a reason to shoot, to stab, whatever.

Speaker 4:
[62:35] Plus, how stupid are you? I mean, Michael Myers isn't going to die. Have you seen any of the movies?

Speaker 2:
[62:42] Probably hasn't seen any of the movies.

Speaker 4:
[62:44] You're not going to kill the guy. Just walk away. After arguing over who should get the TV if they broke up, 37-year-old Tyranny Dixon tried to saw off her boyfriend's hair. The boyfriend called police...

Speaker 2:
[62:58] Tyranny.

Speaker 4:
[62:58] Yeah, Tyranny.

Speaker 2:
[62:59] That's a keeper.

Speaker 4:
[63:01] The boyfriend called police, reporting that the appropriately named Tyranny Dixon, because she appears to be both a tyrant and a dick, was destroying his apartment, and things had turned physical.

Speaker 2:
[63:12] They broke up, huh?

Speaker 4:
[63:14] Yeah, and she wanted the TV.

Speaker 2:
[63:15] The television.

Speaker 3:
[63:17] They're really not that bad nowadays. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that it was going to be really tough to have more than like a 20-inch TV, but they're not like as expensive as...

Speaker 2:
[63:28] Oh, you mean expensive? Oh, yeah, no. The televisions are relatively reasonable, it seems to me, these days.

Speaker 3:
[63:35] You can get a nice one for like 200 bucks.

Speaker 2:
[63:36] I'm guessing Tyranny... I'm just going to guess that Tyranny ain't got a pot to piss in.

Speaker 4:
[63:41] Or just a temper, didn't want him to have his beloved TV.

Speaker 2:
[63:45] Or she's just, yeah, insane and violent, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[63:48] Well, she definitely has a temper. When officers arrived, there was blood all over the apartment. Dixon and her boyfriend had been arguing after he accused her of seeing another man. He told her to leave, but Dixon wasn't budging. She wanted the TV, and she said if they split, it was hers. Well, the boyfriend likes that TV. So what started as a verbal argument erupted into a massive fight. Dixon punched him in the face, then locked him out of his own apartment. After the boyfriend kicked in his door to get back inside, Dixon was awaiting, holding a large kitchen knife to him. She said she wasn't leaving without the things she believed were rightfully hers.

Speaker 2:
[64:25] She got the jump on him and got a knife to his throat.

Speaker 4:
[64:27] Yeah, after she kicked him out, she grabbed a knife.

Speaker 2:
[64:29] What the hell?

Speaker 4:
[64:30] She said, that purse right there, that's mine. That TV, that's mine too.

Speaker 2:
[64:34] What?

Speaker 4:
[64:35] The boyfriend said the purse was his because he'd bought it for her.

Speaker 3:
[64:38] Oh, shoot. No.

Speaker 4:
[64:40] So he grabbed it and dumped out the contents.

Speaker 3:
[64:42] They don't really work that way.

Speaker 4:
[64:44] Well, that rubbed Dixon the wrong way and caused Dixon to explode, coming hard at him with a knife, resulting in Dixon penetrating the man's finger. Then still holding the deadly instrument, she grabbed him by the hair and tried sawing off his dreadlocks.

Speaker 2:
[64:57] Oh, he's got dreadlocks.

Speaker 4:
[64:58] Turns out two can play that game because in response, the boyfriend removed Dixon's wig.

Speaker 3:
[65:05] Oh, wow.

Speaker 5:
[65:05] There's a lot of layers here.

Speaker 4:
[65:06] There's hair everywhere.

Speaker 2:
[65:08] Some of it's real, some of it's not.

Speaker 4:
[65:10] After being read or writes, Dixon gave investigators a shortened account of what happened, confirming they did argue over who owned what. Then she ripped a page from the criminal handbook claiming she didn't really remember what happened. But the one thing she did remember was she didn't try and kill her boyfriend.

Speaker 2:
[65:27] Yeah, that part she's fairly clear on. I kind of wish I would have been there to see that wig come off.

Speaker 4:
[65:34] That's always good when you watch some of those like a YouTube video of a big fight.

Speaker 2:
[65:37] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[65:38] And when wigs come off, that's pretty fun. I wonder if extensions are pulled out.

Speaker 2:
[65:41] I wonder if even though they were in a, I mean, I think it's fair to call it a life or death situation. There's a knife involved, right? I wonder if even though they're in a life or death fight, I wonder if when the wig came off, she thought about reaching for the wig. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[65:59] Oh yeah. I bet you're right. I bet she will put that back on. Time out. Tea.

Speaker 2:
[66:06] Tea. Exactly. I wonder if she thought for a second, boy, I look silly without this wig. Let me put this sumbitch back on.

Speaker 3:
[66:12] I'd be pretty pissed about the purse situation, but not like I'm going to stab you to death. Pissed.

Speaker 4:
[66:18] Pissed because, hey, you bought that as a gift. What do you mean?

Speaker 3:
[66:21] Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Believe me, I would have some cool things if I took back my gifts. But no, it doesn't work that way. Unless you bought it there. Unless you bought it maybe that day. Because then I would definitely be like, no, give me that back. But yeah, no, you lost it.

Speaker 2:
[66:38] You're dwelling on this purse angle of this story.

Speaker 3:
[66:40] Well, yeah, because I could see that really setting me off too. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 5:
[66:45] Yeah, I guess I'd be pretty pissed off if my ex-wife took the Donkey Kong machine that she gave me as a birthday present in the divorce. That would have been pretty upsetting to me.

Speaker 3:
[66:53] I wouldn't have an Xbox.

Speaker 2:
[66:57] The Donkey Kong machine, he said.

Speaker 4:
[67:00] If you're an anchor at a TV news station, you expect the cameras to capture your good side, not your backside. But that's what happened at Oklahoma's KWTV. Forty-year-old Daryl Lee Van Ostrand, Van Ostrand, an Emmy award-winning nine-news photojournalist, posed for a wild, bug-eyed mugshot, suggesting he's certifiably insane, as well as stupid-looking. You posted this, right, Ashley?

Speaker 3:
[67:26] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[67:27] You got to see this mugshot.

Speaker 3:
[67:28] He is so scary.

Speaker 4:
[67:29] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[67:30] And he's a news anchor?

Speaker 4:
[67:32] No, he's a news photojournalist, as a matter of fact, a very good one.

Speaker 2:
[67:35] Oh, yeah?

Speaker 4:
[67:36] The case began to unfold last month when a janitor came across two hidden cameras inside the station's downtown Oklahoma City studios. Investigators said those cameras had been attached with Velcro beneath clothing racks in the room. A closer look at the recorded footage confirmed the devices had been active, capturing multiple people using that dressing area in what they thought were private settings. And it's suspected the material was later viewed by the man for the purposes of masturbation to the point of orgasm.

Speaker 13:
[68:06] Just moments ago, News 9 issued a statement referring to their former employee. They say in part, when the devices were discovered, we immediately contacted the police and have been cooperating fully with their investigation.

Speaker 4:
[68:20] Timestamps on the recording show the cameras were adjusted twice and accessed multiple times, and those moments aligned with times he was present at the station despite not being scheduled to work. Before things devolved from journalism to jacking off, he'd built a successful career. He was nominated for and won multiple TV Emmy Awards as a photographer and editor. As a matter of fact, the most recent just last year. He no longer works for News 9.

Speaker 2:
[68:47] I'm checking out this mugshot and sure he's got the wide eyes thing happening, but he just looks so, he looks like he smells terrible.

Speaker 3:
[68:55] Yes, oh yeah.

Speaker 4:
[68:57] He looks like he's seen better days.

Speaker 2:
[68:59] Yeah, hasn't washed in a while.

Speaker 4:
[69:02] You could make an argument that a Wisconsin man didn't take getting passed over for a promotion too well. Because instead of brushing it off, he poisoned the co-worker who got the job.

Speaker 2:
[69:13] Pissed in the coffee?

Speaker 4:
[69:14] No, worse.

Speaker 2:
[69:16] Pissed in the coffee?

Speaker 4:
[69:18] Nope, even worse.

Speaker 2:
[69:21] Did he take a shit in the coffee?

Speaker 4:
[69:23] No, no bodily fluids.

Speaker 2:
[69:25] Does it have anything to do with coffee?

Speaker 4:
[69:27] No, but there is a beverage involved.

Speaker 2:
[69:29] Okay, nice.

Speaker 4:
[69:29] And if you add some coffee grounds to it, you got coffee.

Speaker 2:
[69:31] I'm going to call that close enough then.

Speaker 4:
[69:33] Me too. A University of Wisconsin lab worker confessed to using ChatGPT to help plot the poisoning of his colleague, fueled by a long-standing grudge against what he considered his rival. Police were called to the university's Influenza Research Institute in Madison on April 7th after reports of an unknown odor coming from an office.

Speaker 2:
[69:54] Oh, you pissed in the coffee, didn't you?

Speaker 4:
[69:56] No, no, no, no. No coffee and no urine.

Speaker 2:
[69:57] Can't seem to get this right.

Speaker 4:
[69:58] It's my fault. I haven't been clear. This is on me. Days later, 41-year-old Makoto Kuroda admitted he used laboratory chemicals in an attempt to poison a colleague.

Speaker 2:
[70:11] God dang.

Speaker 4:
[70:12] Someone management considered better suited for the position. According to a criminal complaint, he told police he took chemicals from the influenza lab and flew into a rage. He placed them in a water bottle and inside a pair of shoes belonging to a co-worker he'd worked with for nearly a decade.

Speaker 2:
[70:30] Put him in his shoes?

Speaker 3:
[70:31] Would that even work?

Speaker 4:
[70:33] According to ChatGPT, I guess it told him that.

Speaker 2:
[70:35] He took flu?

Speaker 4:
[70:38] No, it wasn't like, it was a flu lab. He took some different chemicals from that lab. After the incident, he skipped right past plausible deniability and sent a text message to a co-worker that simply read, I did it. He even admitted the same to the co-worker he poisoned. Police say he readily confessed, explaining the chemicals came from his refrigerator at work.

Speaker 3:
[71:00] Wow, he's weak. He just caved it right away.

Speaker 4:
[71:04] He mixed two chemicals together and placed the mixture in each of the colleagues' shoes. He also added 0.5 millimeters of a chemical to the colleagues' water bottle, later telling police it wasn't a big deal, because ChatGPT told him it would take 10 milliliters to be a lethal dose, a point that actually didn't carry much weight in court. When asked if he thought about reconsidering his actions after getting warnings from ChatGPT about the dangers involved, he said he did not.

Speaker 9:
[71:31] Officials say this was an isolated incident and there is no threat to the public. The investigation is ongoing, and officials say additional charges may be filed.

Speaker 2:
[71:40] I guess I'd have to be a much smarter person than I currently am to understand how chemicals in your shoes could kill a guy or multiple people.

Speaker 4:
[71:48] Yeah, I guess so. It seeps into your feet somehow? I don't know what's going on there.

Speaker 2:
[71:53] And I can't decide, Josh, do those shoes rule or those shoes suck?

Speaker 4:
[71:58] We need an expert.

Speaker 2:
[71:59] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[72:00] The complaint states he had several pet peeves with his workplace rival, including not wearing a lab coat. Why doesn't he have to wear one? Why isn't he wearing safety goggles? But he told police his main motivation was being boned out of the promotion he thought he deserved. If sentient robots are on their way, Highway 7 suggests they might be decent at improving traffic safety.

Speaker 16:
[72:24] This roadway was designed 50 years ago before all this traffic was there. It really isn't designed to handle this sort of traffic flow.

Speaker 4:
[72:32] Police efforts to reduce deadly crashes between St. Louis Park and St. Bonifacius are showing promising results with stepped up enforcement and AI technology credited with helping eliminate deaths on that stretch of road last year.

Speaker 16:
[72:45] It's harder to find a speeding driver as we're enforcing it. We don't see distracted drivers as much as we were before. So we certainly are seeing those impacts every day.

Speaker 4:
[72:54] Working with neighboring agencies, the South Lake Minnetonka Police Department has been using a large orange trailer equipped with AI to detect distracted drivers and those not wearing seat belts. The system captures photos of violators and sends them to officers within seconds. Over the past year, officers made more than 1,500 stops for those violations, a 300 percent increase from the previous year.

Speaker 16:
[73:19] It sends that to us when we're just down the road within about five seconds, so we can actually see the phone in the hand. And that's the key so that we know that we're making a good stop.

Speaker 4:
[73:28] Before the attack, cops had trouble keeping up, they said. Sadly, five people died in crashes along Highway 7 in 2024, but there were no fatalities on that stretch of road last year when the technology was installed. Despite the highway historically averaging at least one or two deadly crashes each year.

Speaker 6:
[73:46] Oh, God. Well, that's...

Speaker 2:
[73:49] I hope things continue to get better. We don't need anybody dying out there.

Speaker 4:
[73:53] No, not at all. Yeah, it's promising for sure.

Speaker 2:
[73:55] Highway 7. I know Highway 7 pretty well, Cubby. We used to go out that way to get some of that St. Bonnie action.

Speaker 4:
[74:01] Oh, yeah?

Speaker 2:
[74:02] You guys ever had a taste of that St. Bonnie action? No.

Speaker 4:
[74:05] Never.

Speaker 3:
[74:05] Tell me about it.

Speaker 6:
[74:06] Oh, we.

Speaker 2:
[74:08] What about Minnetrista?

Speaker 4:
[74:09] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[74:10] You can get a date in Minnetrista with a decent card trick.

Speaker 4:
[74:14] I was lucky with a couple of Minnetonka gals, but that's the closest I can get. Oh, fancy girls. Oh, a Buffalo gal.

Speaker 2:
[74:20] Everybody gets lucky with Minnetonka gals, okay?

Speaker 4:
[74:23] I was told in the past that's not called getting lucky. You're right.

Speaker 2:
[74:26] Get out there to Minnetrista, St. Bonnie.

Speaker 4:
[74:28] A Buffalo? What do you think? A Buffalo gal? Not impressed? Oh. All I had to do is ask? I considered that when I come close.

Speaker 6:
[74:41] No, no, you did good. You did good.

Speaker 4:
[74:44] You say you did good, but I think you don't mean it.

Speaker 2:
[74:47] She was originally from Watertown. She lied, do you?

Speaker 6:
[74:50] Oh, hey.

Speaker 4:
[74:51] We had some fun in Watertown.

Speaker 6:
[74:53] Wait a minute.

Speaker 4:
[74:54] Woo-wee, didn't we? It's nothing but balls and the buyers on streaming today. First, Stranger Things expands its universe into an animated version of the show, taking viewers back to Hawkins during the winter of 1985. Premiering on Netflix, set between the events of the second and third seasons, familiar faces return as they confront new monsters and unravel another eerie paranormal mystery tied to the upside down where things are stranger. Also on Netflix, Running Point is back for its second season on The Big Red N.

Speaker 3:
[75:27] Oh, heck yeah.

Speaker 4:
[75:28] Great show.

Speaker 3:
[75:28] Love that show.

Speaker 4:
[75:29] I did too.

Speaker 2:
[75:30] What's it called?

Speaker 4:
[75:31] Running Point. Continuing the...

Speaker 3:
[75:33] Basketball.

Speaker 4:
[75:33] Yeah, it's about basketball.

Speaker 2:
[75:34] It's about basketball.

Speaker 4:
[75:35] Continuing the Mindy Kaling, Ike Barinholtz and Elaine Koh crafted basketball comedy series starring Kate Hudson, running the front office of a fictional basketball team in LA. Running Point is inspired by the life of LA. Lakers owner, Jeannie Boss.

Speaker 2:
[75:51] Oh, sure.

Speaker 4:
[75:53] I'd wish him a happy birthday, but from what I understand, I won't see him. Happy 49th to John Cena.

Speaker 5:
[75:59] The never-seen 17-time world champion.

Speaker 4:
[76:01] Congratulations to Insulation Hauling Jesus and Kyla headed to Vegas to make Insulation Hauling Jesus an honest man, finally. Oh, Vegas.

Speaker 3:
[76:10] That's cool.

Speaker 4:
[76:10] Yeah, they're getting married in Vegas. Shout out to Raging Soul Jesus driving home to Coon Rapids from Kansas City from graphic squib Jesus.

Speaker 3:
[76:17] Hey, I have to drive home to there every day.

Speaker 4:
[76:22] Not from Kansas City, though.

Speaker 3:
[76:23] It's not that bad.

Speaker 2:
[76:25] By the way, a listener texted in and said, hey, did I hear you people talking about my hometown of Minnetrashda?

Speaker 4:
[76:33] I've never heard that before.

Speaker 2:
[76:34] Yeah, we were talking about your friggin town.

Speaker 4:
[76:36] Minnetrashda. Nick said some things about the women there. Happy 34th to the smokin hot pumpkin-ass Jesus from Goat Truckin Jesus. And that's 93X News.

Speaker 1:
[76:47] Randy Shaver.

Speaker 7:
[76:48] On the Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 10:
[76:51] Back again for Hayskenen. Wrist shot taken. Fending out.

Speaker 6:
[76:54] They score!

Speaker 10:
[76:55] Out in front, Wyatt Johnston. In the right place, at the right time. He does it again. And Dallas wins Game 3 in double overtime.

Speaker 2:
[77:05] She was an all-timer, Randy Shaver.

Speaker 8:
[77:08] Oh, Lord.

Speaker 2:
[77:09] An all-timer. A local game that ended at 12:54 a.m. Perfect.

Speaker 8:
[77:14] That's right. Perfect.

Speaker 2:
[77:15] But it was it. And that's the shame of it all, as I've bitched about already five or six times this morning. This was an all-time great hockey game and the most important game of the season. And they boned us hard, as Cubby would say. They boned us hard by starting to sum-bitch at 9 a.m. Pardon me, 9 p.m. But I don't need to go off about that again. A great game. Unfortunately, the Pigs couldn't get her done. They had a 3-2 lead going into the third period. That's when, personally, my lights went out, was after the second period. They had a 3-2 lead and all the momentum in the world.

Speaker 4:
[77:52] It looked like everything was going their way.

Speaker 2:
[77:54] They played a great second period.

Speaker 8:
[77:56] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[77:57] But they couldn't put anything further up on the board after that.

Speaker 8:
[78:01] Yep. I went to bed after regulation. I just couldn't stay up for overtime.

Speaker 2:
[78:06] That's a frigging shame, isn't it?

Speaker 8:
[78:09] It was just too much. But it's a very disappointing loss. You look at the percentages, teams that lose game three after the first two are split. The teams that win game three win the series two-thirds of the time. So the odds obviously are now really stacked against the wild, which is too bad.

Speaker 2:
[78:33] The momentum they had going into that third period, the crowd pop that they got at the end of the second period. I'm not saying I went to bed thinking this one's in the bag, but there was a lot of hockey to be played, more than we really knew. But I thought I'd wake up to a win. What can you do? The stars came back to tie the game and then ended the bitch with that power play goal you heard in the second overtime, a kid called Wyatt Johnston.

Speaker 5:
[79:02] Yeah, they got the power play going, didn't they?

Speaker 4:
[79:04] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[79:04] You got to stop losing. You got to get the power play going. At least that was the advice that Reg Dunlop got when he was hanging out at the Aces.

Speaker 4:
[79:12] You got to shoot.

Speaker 2:
[79:13] In the documentary Slash Shot.

Speaker 8:
[79:15] Yes, Josh, that's really the key.

Speaker 4:
[79:17] Shoot the puck. That's really the key.

Speaker 2:
[79:20] Well, it was for the stars, wasn't it? Yeah. Johnston gets that deflection out front. That's how you normally see those overtime goals come down. Some penalties in last night's hockey game, huh? Jesus, balls with the penalties.

Speaker 8:
[79:33] Lots of penalties.

Speaker 2:
[79:34] Lot of time in the sin bin. Yeah. Pigs had their chances. They had two power plays in overtime.

Speaker 8:
[79:41] Actually, both teams had many chances last night.

Speaker 2:
[79:44] Oh, yeah. This was a hell of a fun hockey game.

Speaker 8:
[79:49] Tough game to lose.

Speaker 2:
[79:50] Little bit of everything. Memorable stuff, really. Memorable stuff. Boldy's pass to Erickson Eck for the goal in the second period.

Speaker 8:
[79:58] Insane. Insane pass. You know, I'm sure he probably thought somebody was going to be there, because he, I think, it was pretty much a blind pass.

Speaker 2:
[80:11] It was a little bit of a wing and a prayer.

Speaker 8:
[80:12] But it was just perfect. I mean, there's no way that Ottinger had a chance on that goal because it was such a perfect pass.

Speaker 2:
[80:23] Took everyone by surprise. Yeah. But there was a little bit of everything. How about our guy Marcus spitting up blood for us? Oh, yeah. Great crowd. Both clubs put on a show. Both goaltenders came up big here and there. The goal by Michael McCarron that gave the boys a 3-2 lead.

Speaker 8:
[80:41] Crazy.

Speaker 2:
[80:42] Terrific goal. Kind of reminded me of Dick Park back when he scored that goal against Colorado in overtime all those years ago. So there you go. The Wild, the Pigs have lost 17 of their last 23 home playoff games. But I ain't mad at them. I'm not worried about this hockey club. This series is going seven. I truly believe this series is going seven. But the stars are up to one. And game four is in St. Paul here Saturday afternoon. Great hockey game from what I saw. Wish I would have been able to see the whole thing.

Speaker 8:
[81:27] This is one time where the schedule maker kind of got this right to give them an extra day off after playing double overtime last night.

Speaker 2:
[81:35] They all got lucky with that.

Speaker 4:
[81:37] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[81:37] They got lucky with that, son of a bitch.

Speaker 5:
[81:40] If you want to go see the game on Saturday, it'll cost you $352 to get in the door.

Speaker 4:
[81:45] That's the cheapest ticket you've seen so far.

Speaker 2:
[81:49] We got some texts coming in from hockey fans in town. What's this one say?

Speaker 10:
[81:55] State of hockey.

Speaker 2:
[81:58] This, of course, is known as the state of Jesus housing. He says, Minnesota Wild Hockey. New roster, same crap, different year. Don't worry about it, folks. It's going seven.

Speaker 4:
[82:17] There's some pessimism coming in via text, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[82:20] It was a great hockey game. Anybody could have won that hockey game. Why are people getting angry now, Cubby?

Speaker 4:
[82:25] I thought for sure they were going to win.

Speaker 2:
[82:26] Why are they giving up now?

Speaker 4:
[82:27] We were saying earlier, Randy, that we really enjoy playing some empty net goal clips for Nick, you know, to really get his blood boiling.

Speaker 8:
[82:36] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[82:37] And when I went to bed last night, I thought, oh, this is going to be great. We'll get an empty net goal. The Wild are going to score one that they don't need, and we can play that as the highlight tomorrow. And unfortunately, that didn't happen.

Speaker 8:
[82:47] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[82:47] I think you were even a little disappointed, Nick.

Speaker 2:
[82:50] Oh, I'm sure I'll get my fill of empty net goals before the Stanley Cup playoff is completed.

Speaker 5:
[82:55] We should have just played the one from game two.

Speaker 2:
[82:58] Here's covered in metal Jesus, who's texted in about last night's game. He texted in one word, cursed.

Speaker 8:
[83:06] I wouldn't say cursed.

Speaker 2:
[83:07] Of course I wouldn't say cursed. You got to be nuts to believe in that crap. What did this say? No offense, covered in metal Jesus, but I don't believe in that crap. What does this say? Too many effing penalties and the faceoff circle was not our friend. Here's a text.

Speaker 8:
[83:21] I agree with the penalty part.

Speaker 2:
[83:23] Lot of penalties last night. The Pigs can't win a series, says a listener, with only the second and fourth liners playing well. The first and third liners look like first year Peewees out there playing like a bunch of scared bitches. No. Zuccarella not in the mix again last night. There's a little bit of piss and vinegar coming from the hockey fans here on our text machine. It's just emotions are running high, Randy.

Speaker 8:
[83:53] Yep. It's not surprising that people are upset this morning, but as you said, it was a great hockey game. There's still a lot of hockey to be played. I expect the wild to come out on Saturday and and win that game and send it back to Dallas and make it the best three once you head back to Dallas.

Speaker 2:
[84:11] It's going seven. It's going to be anybody's series. All right. The other winners in the National Hockey League last night, the Philadelphia Flyers got a win. OK, so they're up 3-0 on Pittsburgh. I understand that that game turned into a bit of a gong show, but I did not. I just read there was a lot of wrestling and slapping and Anaheim won last night. Peter Burrow lost.

Speaker 8:
[84:42] Yes. Peter Burrow's loss is really key.

Speaker 2:
[84:46] Can we get, sorry, can we get Dan Housen, WWE wrestler Dan Housen, who likes to perform curses? They don't always work, but if you're looking to toss a curse onto someone, you call Dan Housen. One of our listeners wants to know if we can put a curse or if Dan Housen can put a curse on Jamie Ben. You guys familiar who that is?

Speaker 4:
[85:16] Yeah, we got quite a few texts earlier on him as well.

Speaker 2:
[85:18] I like his style. I do Jamie Ben. I kind of wish he played in this town, but I get it. People are treating him like the new Todd Bertuzzi and I get it. That's part of the fun of the playoffs. You pick a villain, you know, and the guy dumps a couple of cross checks here and there. I know people hate him in this. I personally like that style of hockey player, but that's just me.

Speaker 4:
[85:38] Negative text coming in on the officiating as well.

Speaker 2:
[85:40] I see. It's difficult. I've seen a couple of these, Josh. It's difficult to beat both the stars and the referees.

Speaker 4:
[85:50] Oh, this is a unique take. Underwhelmingly optimistic. Jesus is blaming the poll ads for the loss.

Speaker 5:
[85:57] There's a good new angle.

Speaker 2:
[85:59] All right.

Speaker 8:
[86:00] Always the poll ads.

Speaker 2:
[86:01] Wolves Nugs. Timber Wall. Game three, nine o'clock tonight here at Target Center.

Speaker 8:
[86:08] Nine o'clock.

Speaker 2:
[86:09] Well, of course, it says 830, but it's going to be nine o'clock.

Speaker 8:
[86:13] Brutal.

Speaker 2:
[86:14] Yeah.

Speaker 8:
[86:14] Just brutal.

Speaker 2:
[86:15] Come on. I don't know. There's nothing that really we can say to hype this up. I mean, this has already been so much fun over only two games. What do we need to say when the players are doing all the talking to the coaches is talking trash back and forth, especially Jaden McDaniels. Oh, yeah. As you may have heard on yesterday's program, there are some people who more or less think, God forbid, you talk a little trash about your fiercest rival in a playoff series unless, of course, you've already won a championship. I don't feel that way.

Speaker 14:
[86:46] Go out to Jokic, Jamal, all the bad defenders, Tim Hardaway, Cam Johnson, Aaron Gordon, the whole team. Like, just go at them. They're all bad defenders. They're all bad defenders.

Speaker 5:
[86:59] Oh, man.

Speaker 4:
[87:01] This enthusiasm.

Speaker 8:
[87:03] It is really getting a lot of hype, too.

Speaker 2:
[87:05] I love it. Some people, if you were listening yesterday, say, don't poke the bear. I say, F the bear. Sometimes you've got to poke the bear. Maybe, just maybe poking the bear is exactly what might throw that big, fat, stupid bear off his game. I love it. What we have here is, and this is why I was arguing against, Brad Ryder yesterday said, oh, they're making such a mistake. They've never won Jack's squad. They should shut up and play and all that crap. I love you, Brad Ryder, but that was crap. What we have here, and this is why I argued against it. This is so rare, and you don't really realize it until it's right there in front of you. It is so rare to have a legitimate hate-filled rivalry.

Speaker 5:
[87:47] It is.

Speaker 2:
[87:48] We should celebrate every inch of this. They generally hate each other on these clubs, and it's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 5:
[87:56] But like Brad said, though, you got to think about the PR people.

Speaker 4:
[88:00] He did say that. I'm sure he has a unique take on that, like, ah, jeez, I'm going to have to answer a lot of questions.

Speaker 2:
[88:07] The other winners in the National Basketball Association last night, you had your Detroit Pistons getting a win over Orlando, and the completely unwatchable and disgusting Oklahoma City Thunder got another win. Spurs forward Kelden Johnson upped and won the NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award yesterday.

Speaker 5:
[88:34] I'm sure him and his family are very happy.

Speaker 4:
[88:36] Two of us are excited about this.

Speaker 8:
[88:38] We're happy.

Speaker 2:
[88:39] We'll get to the twins here in just a minute, too. But I thought twins fans could relate to this. It's a basketball-related story. We're not alone. Word is the Portland Trailblazers are so friggin broke that they're gonna have to gas one of their mascots in order to keep the...

Speaker 5:
[89:01] The lights on?

Speaker 2:
[89:02] The lights on, right.

Speaker 5:
[89:04] Didn't realize they had multiple mascots.

Speaker 2:
[89:06] They do. They've got Blaze the Cat and Douglas Fur. He is a giant Sasquatch-looking... Douglas Fur is especially fun to look at.

Speaker 5:
[89:20] Please tell them they're gonna have a Money in the Bank ladder match to determine who stays. That would be fun to watch.

Speaker 4:
[89:25] I'd watch that.

Speaker 5:
[89:26] A mascot ladder match?

Speaker 4:
[89:28] No, I'd read about it.

Speaker 5:
[89:29] That'd be fantastic.

Speaker 2:
[89:31] Yeah, what time does it start? Does it start at 9 o'clock locally here? But I would watch that. Yeah. So the two mascots that entertain the crowd at Blazers home games, Blaze the Trail Cat, sorry, Blaze the Trail Cat, and Douglas Fur, it says here one or both of them are going to have to be put down because there's not enough money to go around. Oh my god. The mascot. Can you imagine, you know, again, it's a fair comparison to the twins. Can you imagine if we had to watch TC. Bear get ceremoniously darted on the field?

Speaker 4:
[90:07] That would be heartbreaking.

Speaker 8:
[90:10] I also read where the head coach, apparently they're going to start looking for a head coach or interviewing while this guy is still coaching in the playoffs.

Speaker 2:
[90:20] Jesus.

Speaker 8:
[90:21] So, yeah. I mean, the Blazers have a chance to do something in this first series if Wimbanyama is going to be out for a while.

Speaker 2:
[90:29] Yeah.

Speaker 8:
[90:29] Wimbanyami?

Speaker 2:
[90:30] Oh.

Speaker 8:
[90:31] Yes, Wimbanyami.

Speaker 2:
[90:34] Can you imagine going to target field and watching TC. Bear get darted because the twins couldn't afford them anymore?

Speaker 5:
[90:41] Yes, traumatizing is when they showed us, what's that dog movie? God, why am I blanking on it? The one where they-

Speaker 2:
[90:47] Dog movie, Benji.

Speaker 5:
[90:48] No, the one where they shoot him at the end. Old Yeller? Old Yeller. The show is Old Yeller in second grade.

Speaker 17:
[90:53] Oh, gosh.

Speaker 5:
[90:54] It was the day before Christmas break.

Speaker 4:
[90:56] Nick called that movie a comedy.

Speaker 17:
[90:59] Oh, God.

Speaker 4:
[91:01] I mean, I thought I read a story too about-

Speaker 2:
[91:05] Sorry, Josh, about the gas.

Speaker 4:
[91:06] Oh, no, you get it. I understand. The trailblazers, they had to either let go or not allow some of the other staff members get on the plane with them, like a photographer. I mean, they're cutting every corner they can.

Speaker 2:
[91:23] If we have to put TC down, we get a taxidermist, right?

Speaker 8:
[91:28] We stop him and we just wheel him around.

Speaker 4:
[91:31] That's it.

Speaker 2:
[91:32] Don't we display him at one of the gates of the ballpark?

Speaker 5:
[91:34] Yeah, you can still take photos with them.

Speaker 8:
[91:37] Oh, man.

Speaker 5:
[91:39] One of those Hannibal Lecter carts, you know? Wheel him around.

Speaker 4:
[91:44] Put some wires on him, fly him around the stadium.

Speaker 2:
[91:47] Couple of listeners are texting in saying, well, how much money do these mascots make? I mean, not a ton. It shouldn't be enough to cripple an NBA franchise. But that's the situation. What's the brokeest you've ever been?

Speaker 4:
[92:06] Oh, in the negative, for sure. I mean, like big time in the negative.

Speaker 2:
[92:12] Is there a story that goes along with it, Josh, where you were, I mean, I know you're not a smoker, but like this would be a good example, where you're picking up three quarters burned cigarette butts off the ground and lighting them. You know what I mean? I know you're not a smoker, but something comparable to that. I mean, I remember not having a dime in my pocket, not a dime, when I was 19 years old or something like that. And I was, my brother and I lived together, so we had, we were pretty sloppy when we lived together. We had probably 50 empty Copenhagen cans laying all over the house, right? We'd finish off a can of Copenhagen and then just put it on a table. We were sloppy, we wouldn't throw it away. I was so broke, I collected all those cans and scraped up the shards to see if I could get one chew out of it.

Speaker 4:
[93:07] Yeah, I guess the closest I can think of would be, I used to just buy noodles. I would eat plain noodles. I couldn't afford the sauce or any meat or anything like that. And oatmeal.

Speaker 5:
[93:18] Oh, ramen for sure.

Speaker 4:
[93:19] No, it was just like spaghetti noodles. Yeah, and that was for about a year, I lived on just noodles and oatmeal.

Speaker 2:
[93:25] Did you have any butter to put on those noodles?

Speaker 4:
[93:27] No, I mean, it was honestly, it was to the point where I think I got down to like 125 pounds. It was ridiculous.

Speaker 5:
[93:33] Oh my gosh, Josh. I can recall sometimes having to take coins to the Coinstar machine at the grocery store in order to make sure my rent check cleared.

Speaker 4:
[93:42] Oh man.

Speaker 5:
[93:43] I remember being on a date once, actually with my first wife, the first date, and the bill came and I said, oh, I got this and it was much more than I thought it was going to be. And I gave them my card and I went to the bathroom and I checked my bank account just like praying that would clear. That they wouldn't bring the card back and say, oh yeah, no pal.

Speaker 4:
[94:03] Oh yeah, I know the feeling.

Speaker 5:
[94:04] Oh, it's so bad. I was sweating in that bathroom.

Speaker 2:
[94:08] The brokeest you've ever been. One of our listeners bounced a $3 check to McDonald's when he was 18. Another one of our listeners overdrafted his account by buying a 20 ounce pop.

Speaker 4:
[94:21] And by the way, the check floating game back in the day, that was a, you could get pretty good at that. Trying to do the math.

Speaker 2:
[94:28] Another one of our listeners says that the ash tray in front of Medina Ballroom is a gold mine of half-smoked cigarettes. If you ever need a half-smoked cigarettes, living on rice for three months, says a listener.

Speaker 4:
[94:39] There was a guy we used to work with that would always grab the cigarette butts out of pretty much everywhere. I don't know if he was having money troubles or he just didn't want to spend money on them.

Speaker 8:
[94:48] I can remember in college, this is back in 77, 78, when I was freshman, sophomore, on Friday morning, I would go walk to the bank because, you know, they didn't have computers or anything. So I walked to the bank and have them check my account to give me how much money I had. So I knew what I could go drink with that night. I mean, if I had $10 in that account, I was set.

Speaker 2:
[95:21] You got to have beer money.

Speaker 8:
[95:22] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[95:23] I remember having to pay with change and how much can I get for this? Oh yeah. Like, I'm going to get you sucka, Nick. How much for an order of ribs? F the cup. Put it in my hand for a dime.

Speaker 2:
[95:35] I think that was Chris Rock's first ever appearance on a motion picture was, I'm going to get you sucka, the famous rib scene. How much for one rib? Well, first he walks in and says, I'll take the ribs. Who is it? Who's the guy who voiced Chef on South Park? Isaac Hayes? Yes. Isaac Hayes is the character behind the counter and he says, one order of ribs and Chris Rock says, no, no, no, just one rib.

Speaker 12:
[96:05] May I help you, sir?

Speaker 9:
[96:06] How much for an order of ribs?

Speaker 17:
[96:08] $250.

Speaker 7:
[96:09] $250? How many ribs do I get with that?

Speaker 17:
[96:12] About five.

Speaker 7:
[96:13] Five? So I guess that's about 50 cents a rib, huh?

Speaker 5:
[96:16] Yeah, about.

Speaker 7:
[96:17] Let me get one. Right on. One order.

Speaker 10:
[96:20] One order of ribs.

Speaker 5:
[96:21] No, no, no, no.

Speaker 7:
[96:22] One rib. One rib.

Speaker 14:
[96:24] I sure am hungry.

Speaker 7:
[96:26] Make that one rib to go. One rib? One rib.

Speaker 12:
[96:32] What else? You got any soda?

Speaker 17:
[96:34] One dollar.

Speaker 10:
[96:35] Oh, come on now.

Speaker 6:
[96:36] Look out for a brother, man. Come on. Hey, take this. Why don't you let me get a sip for 15 cents?

Speaker 12:
[96:42] My glasses cost more than 15 cents.

Speaker 11:
[96:45] All right, f*** the cook.

Speaker 5:
[96:46] Pour one in my hand for a dime.

Speaker 12:
[96:48] Look, you greasy-headed jerry-curl whan.

Speaker 7:
[96:50] Pay me and get the hell out of my store.

Speaker 11:
[96:54] You got change for 100?

Speaker 2:
[96:56] I think maybe the cook in the back is Jim Brown. It's been a long time since I've watched I'm Gonna Get You Sucker, but I think maybe the cook is Jim Brown. We're talking about what's the brokeest you've ever been. Speedbump Jesus says, I was so broke in 1991, I was 21 years old, I had to sell my Joe Montana rookie card for $100 so I could buy a bike to get to work.

Speaker 4:
[97:19] Oh, man.

Speaker 2:
[97:20] All right. I love it.

Speaker 4:
[97:21] Selling blood and plasma back in the day. Anything you could do.

Speaker 2:
[97:25] I love these texts coming in. We could bring this up another time. Oh, my God. Is this true? In the old days, if you went to Arby's, they'd give you a free sandwich if you filled out their survey.

Speaker 4:
[97:38] Wow. I had no idea.

Speaker 2:
[97:41] What do you think of Arby's? Is it clean enough? Is the food good? If you filled out that survey, they'd give you a free sandwich. So this listener says, he filled out a hell of a lot of...

Speaker 4:
[97:49] It's been a while for me going to Arby's. I like that place.

Speaker 2:
[97:52] Twins lost one last night. The New York Mets beat them by a run. The first win for the Mets in a couple weeks or something.

Speaker 8:
[97:58] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[98:00] She closed out at a final final of 3-2. You know what sucked? It was a chicken dick bloop single that scored the winning run for the Mets.

Speaker 8:
[98:08] Yep, I agree. I thought the pre-lip kid and Rojas pitched pretty well last night. I mean, again, that's what the future looks like, and it's pretty exciting. I thought pre-lip, you know, got himself in trouble a couple of times, but worked his way out. And I thought Rojas, little wild, obviously with the three walks, but he's got some stuff, man. He's got some electric stuff.

Speaker 2:
[98:36] Oh, yeah, they both look solid for friggin rookies. That was both their major league debut.

Speaker 8:
[98:41] That's right. I think it's the first time the twins have had two rookie pitchers debut in the same game. It's like been 30 years, something like that. Joe Mays was part of the last time.

Speaker 2:
[98:53] Yeah, it was 2,099, 2,000, something like that. I saw the stat last night. Joe Mays was one of three twins in that game to make their major league.

Speaker 8:
[99:03] I mean, you wish the twins would win and keep it moving, but I love watching these young guys. It's kind of, maybe it's a prelude as to what we're gonna see down the road in the next few years, because I thought Prelip and Rojas were pretty good.

Speaker 2:
[99:20] They look pretty good. Byron Buxton got the dung out for the second straight ball game. Luke Kishow, he had a chance to blow the ball game open up to the plate with the bases loaded into the top of the eighth, but he couldn't get it done. So one more tonight, Joe Ryan pitching for the Stinking Twins against a character called Christian Scott. This is his first start since the year of 20 and 24. He had some of that Tommy John surgery and hasn't been able to pitch in two years. More text messages on the brokest we've ever been. Here's a listener. It can only be Jared Jesus who said, I just turned 18. Of course, I went straight out to buy a porno movie.

Speaker 4:
[100:04] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[100:05] Some guys, they go to the casino, right, Josh? When they turn 18.

Speaker 4:
[100:08] Strip club.

Speaker 2:
[100:08] Some of them go to the strip. This guy went straight to the porno shop. He left his wallet in the truck. So like a moron, I had to run out and get my wallet with my credit card in it. I came back in to buy the porno movie. I handed the lady at the counter my card and it was declined.

Speaker 4:
[100:27] I've had that happen. That's embarrassing. Yeah. Weren't porn movies expensive? I thought they were crazy expensive to buy a VHS tape or something.

Speaker 2:
[100:35] Josh, the lust, I think, clouded my vision back then.

Speaker 4:
[100:39] I'll pay any.

Speaker 2:
[100:42] I wouldn't be able to tell you what a porno movie cost in 1991. One of our listeners sold his Xbox in order to buy Jim Beam and cigarettes. You got to have the necessities, Randy Shaver. Not much to this year's video, but if you care to take a look for yourself, a handful of numbskulls scrapped in the stands at Tuesday Night's Twins Mets game there in New York. It's a lot of hugging and chokeholds and what not. The police had to toss these clowns out onto the sidewalk. I don't know if that's up on our website.

Speaker 4:
[101:15] I believe it is.

Speaker 6:
[101:16] It's not that.

Speaker 2:
[101:17] I mean, sure, we enjoy all the clicks you can give us on our website, but let me just warn you, it's just a lot of hugging. One of these ball lords was wearing some type of a Luis Arais jersey, if that matters at all to you. I don't know.

Speaker 6:
[101:32] Did you see the catch?

Speaker 2:
[101:35] The foul ball catch that the Colorado Rockies fan made at the Rockies game the other night.

Speaker 4:
[101:41] That was incredible.

Speaker 8:
[101:42] I did not.

Speaker 4:
[101:43] That's also on 93x.com. That one's worth the click, I think.

Speaker 2:
[101:47] It is. The Rockies were playing the San Diego Padres a couple of nights ago at Coors Field. So it was one of these deals where the foul ball goes ripping into the seats, not a lot of people at the ballgame. And it kind of clanks off the higher end of lower level seats, if that makes sense to you, and comes ricocheting back towards the playing field. And a dude who was in the lower part of the lower level seats, I mean, he laid himself completely out to make this catch and came crashing down into an empty row of seats. He cleared a couple of rows with his dive.

Speaker 4:
[102:29] It was awesome.

Speaker 2:
[102:31] You want to know why he did it? Well, you guys know why he did it.

Speaker 4:
[102:33] Chicks?

Speaker 2:
[102:34] Chicks. You saw the video, right? As soon as he picked himself up and brushed himself off, he goes back to talking to some hot blonde who was sitting in front of him. He did this. He sacrificed his body for chicks. It was very impressive. And it is worth the click, Randy Shaver. You should check that.

Speaker 8:
[102:53] I did see it.

Speaker 5:
[102:54] Oh, speaking of the Rockies, I saw a video the other day of a Rockies fan that brought a rotisserie chicken to the game.

Speaker 4:
[103:02] Is that right?

Speaker 5:
[103:03] Yeah, because they let you bring food into the ballparks. And so he wanted to see what the most ridiculous thing he could get away with. So he brought a rotisserie chicken into the ball game.

Speaker 4:
[103:12] Oh, he did it as a bit. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[103:14] Did he clean it out?

Speaker 5:
[103:15] Yeah, he got a couple of forks and a beer and was having at it.

Speaker 2:
[103:20] I'll tell you what. Where was I going with this? Oh, the dude making the dive there for the foul ball reminded me of one of my fondest memories as a twins fan was when my brother and my dad and I went to the 1988 home opener over there at the old Metrodome. I remember it like it was yesterday. They were playing the Toronto Blue Jays. Dan Gladden stole home in that ball game. And as you imagine, it's the first game following the World Series. Following their 87 World Series victory. So the crowd was off the charts, crazy. Hollering, screaming, having a great time. So 7th inning stretch, some guy a couple rows in front of, we're way in the nosebleeds where the section that got curtained off in later years, we're way up there. Dude a couple rows in front of us is hammered out of his mind. And during the 7th inning stretch, they're playing, I don't know Josh, it was 87, they were probably playing something by Whitney Houston or something. I want to dance with somebody. And dude a couple rows in front of us, he stands up, he turns around to face everyone above him, and he's dancing. I want to dance with somebody. I want to feel the heat with somebody. And he's hammered. And suddenly, he tips backwards. Now, unluckily for him, the two rows behind him, as he's facing upwards, the two rows behind him, they'd cleared out to go take a piss or something for the seventh. And if there were live human beings still in those seats, he wouldn't have mangled himself so badly. I'm convinced of that. But he falls backwards into these empty seats, ass over apple cart, he gets his forearm caught between a couple of the seats, and his arm breaks in half!

Speaker 4:
[105:17] Poor guy.

Speaker 2:
[105:18] For everybody to see.

Speaker 8:
[105:19] Oh, God.

Speaker 2:
[105:22] I'll admit, my brother and I, being 16-year-old kids, we were not terribly sympathetic. We pointed and laughed our nuts off.

Speaker 4:
[105:34] Such a beautiful song, too.

Speaker 2:
[105:35] Dude, bro, what's this bone here, Josh? He broke that son of a bitch in his forearm.

Speaker 4:
[105:39] Ouch.

Speaker 2:
[105:40] His...

Speaker 4:
[105:42] I don't know what that is.

Speaker 2:
[105:43] Reamer, femur.

Speaker 4:
[105:44] It's not a femur.

Speaker 2:
[105:45] Not a femur.

Speaker 5:
[105:46] Femur's in the leg.

Speaker 4:
[105:47] Is it a coccus? Coc-ics. Retired Air Force Jesus has answered the question on the cost of a porno VHS tape.

Speaker 2:
[105:54] Uh-huh.

Speaker 4:
[105:55] He said, it used to be pricey. He remembers Nick in 1994. He bought a copy of Down the Hatch, Part 4, and it was 59 bucks.

Speaker 5:
[106:04] That was one of the best in the series.

Speaker 4:
[106:07] Did you ever see anything from the Down the Hatch movie?

Speaker 2:
[106:09] I don't have any memory of the Down the Hatch series. I do remember one of my favorite titles though, that I encountered sometime in the late 90s.

Speaker 6:
[106:24] They called the movie-

Speaker 4:
[106:25] Oh, your phone is talking to you.

Speaker 2:
[106:27] Oh, is that? Okay. They called the movie Josh Bottom Feeders.

Speaker 5:
[106:33] Oh, God.

Speaker 4:
[106:34] Gross.

Speaker 2:
[106:38] Hey, you want to know something cute about a Major League Baseball player? I'm not terribly familiar. I mean, how many Abreu's have played in the history of Major League Baseball? Five, 600?

Speaker 8:
[106:47] Yeah, there's been a few. Yeah, there's a pitcher currently with the Astros.

Speaker 2:
[106:51] Well, here's a guy with the Red Sox, Randy Shaver. Will your-

Speaker 8:
[106:54] Yeah, outfielder.

Speaker 2:
[106:55] Okay.

Speaker 8:
[106:56] Fabulous player.

Speaker 2:
[106:57] He's a great player?

Speaker 8:
[106:58] Yeah, he's really good.

Speaker 2:
[106:59] Well, then you might find this even more interesting. When he's not playing baseball, back in his hometown of Venezuela, he runs a salon.

Speaker 6:
[107:10] Cool. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[107:12] He runs a salon. Will your- Bray, you. He started cutting the hairdos of his teammates back in 20 and 21. That's where he got his practice in, and his teammates thought he was so frigging good at tripping up their neck hair and taking a little off the top that he decided, you know what, piss on it. I'll make this my second career. So he's got a salon in Venezuela, and he says this is a great way to bring the community together. That's Willier Abreu. All right, Randy, yesterday, you had to tuck your erection into the elastic band of your sweatpants at the thought of the most overrated television program since the dawn of time, the National Football League draft. Yesterday...

Speaker 8:
[107:57] I'm sorry, it's gonna be what I'm watching tonight.

Speaker 2:
[108:00] You don't have to apologize.

Speaker 6:
[108:02] NFL Draft!

Speaker 2:
[108:05] Yesterday, you were so friggin pumped. So it's all yours, son. How far do you wanna go with this? The NFL draft.

Speaker 8:
[108:17] I think it's gonna be after the first pick is over. I think it's gonna be very intriguing. I've been reading a lot about mock drafts and potential trades. All of that, it's gonna be if you're a draft Nick, like I am.

Speaker 2:
[108:33] A draft Nick?

Speaker 8:
[108:34] Draft Nick, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[108:35] Oh, I see what you mean.

Speaker 8:
[108:37] Into the draft.

Speaker 2:
[108:38] Like a beat Nick.

Speaker 8:
[108:39] Yep, correct. I think you're gonna find tonight's draft to be very entertaining.

Speaker 5:
[108:45] Well, thankfully they moved it down from 10 minutes between picks to eight. So at least they'll speed things up a little bit. But there is a lot of downtime.

Speaker 8:
[108:54] Yeah, there is, but I think there's a lot of intrigue tonight, too, at least in the first round. The Vikings pick 18 tonight and chances are pretty good. They'll either take a safety because of Harrison Smith's.

Speaker 2:
[109:08] That's going to put two points on the board for the other team. Hey, I'm already ready with my, I got my football jokes ready.

Speaker 10:
[109:15] NFL Draft.

Speaker 8:
[109:17] Or a tight end tonight, one or the other.

Speaker 2:
[109:19] A safety or a tight end?

Speaker 8:
[109:21] I think in round one, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[109:23] What's the number, their first pick is number?

Speaker 8:
[109:25] 18.

Speaker 2:
[109:26] And life.

Speaker 4:
[109:27] Oh, great tune, great tune.

Speaker 5:
[109:30] Speaking of the draft, the other day, I was somewhere getting a bit of damage and they had a TV on, they had the NFL Network on, so I was like, oh, what's, where are they showing? They were replaying like the 2017 draft, like the entire coverage of it. Who is sitting there on a Tuesday watching a replay of an NFL draft at, you know, 10, 30, 11 in the morning?

Speaker 4:
[109:50] My youngest would.

Speaker 5:
[109:51] Would he?

Speaker 4:
[109:51] Yep.

Speaker 5:
[109:52] Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 4:
[109:53] He was stressed because the draft is going to be going on, you know, around the same time Timberwolves games are going to be going on. So he's like, well, what do we do? Like, well, we read about the draft the next day. That's what we do. Just look at your phone every once in a while.

Speaker 2:
[110:07] I was reading an article yesterday. My God, I was. And it said, as we approach this silliness, the NFL is hoping that players don't get punked by prank telephone calls this time around. Oh, yeah. If you remember last year, and it was friggin hilarious. Shadour Sanders, whatever his name is, Shadir Shadour, he got pranked. And it was really effing funny. There he is at home at his dad's mansion. Everyone's sitting around waiting for him to get drafted. He gets a telephone call and they said, yeah, you're going to go to the, I don't know, whoever, the Falcons, blah, blah. You're the fifth overall pit. It was all a joke. I thought that was great. So I guess the NFL is being very careful now. Who gets their hands on players, potential draftees, telephone numbers and whatnot? And they phoned out last year.

Speaker 8:
[110:59] It was played, wasn't it like a GM's kid?

Speaker 2:
[111:01] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[111:02] Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 8:
[111:03] Some teenage kid thought it would be funny to do that.

Speaker 2:
[111:06] And it was.

Speaker 3:
[111:07] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[111:08] Yeah, it was the Falcons defensive coordinator, Jeff Olbrich. His son somehow got a hold of Shadoura Sanders' phone number and played this prank on him. So the NFL doesn't want that happening again.

Speaker 3:
[111:20] People were saying I was a D bag for thinking this was funny.

Speaker 2:
[111:24] No, they're wrong about that.

Speaker 4:
[111:26] That's the one where it like there's a few guys in there and they're looking around like, I can't believe this is working.

Speaker 2:
[111:31] Yeah. Here are Randy Shaver, because, you know, you probably thought I wasn't going to play along, but I'm a nice guy. I'll play along.

Speaker 6:
[111:39] NFL Draft.

Speaker 2:
[111:45] Here are the NFL players who were selected towards the ass end of their draft class. No one expected Dick, but they ended up all timers. Sure. Here are the players that I'm pretty sure you've heard of. There are some others that I won't bother you with. Shannon Sharp.

Speaker 14:
[112:00] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[112:01] He was the 192nd overall pick in the 1990 NFL Draft. Terrell Davis went 196th in his draft. Bart Starr was 200th.

Speaker 14:
[112:14] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[112:14] The 200th player selected in the 1956 draft. Richard Dent, Raymond Barry, Chris Hamburger.

Speaker 8:
[112:24] Craig Linebacker, Washington.

Speaker 14:
[112:26] Hamburger.

Speaker 2:
[112:30] He's right about that, Josh.

Speaker 4:
[112:31] He's right about everything.

Speaker 2:
[112:33] I wouldn't go that far.

Speaker 4:
[112:36] Almost everything.

Speaker 2:
[112:36] In the 1965 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins selected with the 245th pick, Chris Hamburger.

Speaker 4:
[112:47] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[112:48] Now he's an old man. Now, maybe he's dead. I don't know, but...

Speaker 8:
[112:54] Tom Brady's got to be on your list.

Speaker 2:
[112:56] Tom Brady's not on any of my lists except for maybe...

Speaker 8:
[113:00] This is a sixth round pick.

Speaker 2:
[113:01] Maybe the kind of list I don't want to say into a microphone. That's the only list that Tom Brady...

Speaker 4:
[113:05] That's foul. 81 or 84 years old, Chris Hamburger.

Speaker 2:
[113:10] Chris Hamburger.

Speaker 4:
[113:11] Is it hand burger? I might have looked it up on...

Speaker 13:
[113:13] It's H-A, I think it's H-A-N.

Speaker 2:
[113:16] No, it's hamburger like the sandwich.

Speaker 4:
[113:18] That's what I looked up and I don't see it.

Speaker 8:
[113:21] I think it's hamburger.

Speaker 2:
[113:22] Randy, my dad told me this when I was a little kid, and I need you to listen. Don't ever interrupt a great BS story.

Speaker 8:
[113:30] Oh, okay.

Speaker 4:
[113:31] I was wondering, like, why aren't I finding this on Google?

Speaker 2:
[113:35] The Cardinals, the Bears, the Chiefs, the Chargers, the Dolphins, the Argonauts, the Saints, the Jets, the Stillers, the 49ers, and our hometown Mickey Mouse operation called the Minnesota Vikings, those ball clubs have only had one number one overall draft pick in their history. The Vikings have only had one overall number one draft pick. Who it was, Randy Shaver? Go. I don't know. You know it. You just forgot it.

Speaker 8:
[114:03] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[114:04] I'm going to help you out. It was 1968 when the Vikings had...

Speaker 8:
[114:09] Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember. Tommy Mason?

Speaker 2:
[114:12] You'll come up with it. It was 1968 when the Vikings had the number one overall pick and they drafted a guy. Oh, he was a big guy. All right. Fine. I'll tell you. Don. Cheeseburger.

Speaker 7:
[114:30] Wait a minute.

Speaker 8:
[114:31] What the heck? That's not right.

Speaker 2:
[114:33] It was Ron Yerry.

Speaker 8:
[114:35] Oh, Ron Yerry. Great offensive line.

Speaker 2:
[114:38] Turned out to be an all-timer. The Ravens, the Broncos, the Seeducks have never took a crack or had a crack at the number one overall pick ski. Hell, the Colts have had six of them.

Speaker 8:
[114:56] That's kind of a club you don't want to be in, right? Because if you're in that club, that means you're not very good, or at least you weren't during that time period.

Speaker 2:
[115:05] Right.

Speaker 8:
[115:06] Unless you had traded with a team and then ended up getting the number one pick because of the trade, so.

Speaker 2:
[115:14] It's killing me to steer away from our conversation on the NFL Draft for a couple of minutes. It's killing me, the idea of steering away. We will be back. I have more here. Draft coverage continues here on the Half-Assed Morning Show. But I wanted to throw this at you, Randy Shaver. I'll admit that I've ignored this story altogether because I don't care. But I did get a text from Jiu Jitsu Jesus who said, what's your take on the Mike Vrabel nailing the sports reporter story? Has anyone followed this?

Speaker 5:
[115:47] One of the biggest J Cuttlers of all time for me.

Speaker 2:
[115:49] J Cuttler.

Speaker 4:
[115:50] I have followed it, but I'm with you, Dana.

Speaker 2:
[115:52] Mark Vrabel is the head coach of some ball club.

Speaker 8:
[115:55] Mike Vrabel.

Speaker 2:
[115:56] New England. And he's been seeing a sports reporter and she got fired or something.

Speaker 5:
[116:02] She stepped down.

Speaker 8:
[116:03] She resigned. Yeah. Kind of under pressure.

Speaker 2:
[116:06] So what's the problem? He's not allowed to have a girlfriend?

Speaker 8:
[116:09] Well, first of all, they both are.

Speaker 4:
[116:12] Yeah, they're both married.

Speaker 8:
[116:13] They both are married.

Speaker 2:
[116:14] Oh, I didn't know that part of it.

Speaker 8:
[116:15] This was actually, I think, during the owners' meetings or the winter meetings or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[116:21] It was more like what kind of a meeting, Josh?

Speaker 4:
[116:23] Meeting of the privates? Is that what you call it?

Speaker 2:
[116:26] Well, Randy called it an owners' meeting.

Speaker 4:
[116:28] Oh, I can't say that in front of Randy.

Speaker 2:
[116:31] Okay, Randy, continue on.

Speaker 6:
[116:33] So these two, they hooked up?

Speaker 8:
[116:35] Well, we don't know that for sure. That is the overwhelming thought process that they did prior to the owners' meeting or whatever it was, got together, that they have been seeing each other. Apparently, her husband, this is how the story goes, allegedly her husband hired a private investigator because he had suspicions about her and he's the one, let me finish, he's the one that took the infamous pictures of the two of them together and then allegedly sold those pictures to TMZ or whoever put it out there. And so, this thing blew up, she resigned, he had a press conference yesterday or the day before.

Speaker 4:
[117:29] He's had a couple, but yeah, yesterday he was.

Speaker 8:
[117:31] For the first time, talked about it and he was super vague, never admitted anything, apologized for vague stuff. So, that's kind of where it is right now.

Speaker 4:
[117:46] He said he's going to get counseling, that's the latest thing he's said. It has not admitted.

Speaker 3:
[117:50] What, dude?

Speaker 8:
[117:52] I'm sure he's got the heat coming from home as part of all this.

Speaker 3:
[117:57] He got a private investigator, I love that. That's an awesome way to catch somebody cheating.

Speaker 5:
[118:03] It's like next level going through someone's phone.

Speaker 3:
[118:05] My gosh, you know what, next time, if I'm ever suspicious of my husband, I'm going to hire a private investigator just because that's cool. It makes the situation feel a lot cooler.

Speaker 4:
[118:16] You know someone who has done that, so maybe they can give you a tip on who they used.

Speaker 2:
[118:20] Hired a private investigator.

Speaker 3:
[118:22] What? I know somebody that has done that.

Speaker 4:
[118:25] You sure do.

Speaker 3:
[118:26] Did they catch them?

Speaker 4:
[118:28] I don't know how it worked out.

Speaker 2:
[118:29] That side action will get you. One way or the other, Randy Shaver, they find out.

Speaker 8:
[118:35] For sure, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[118:37] Is it fun while it lasted though? Hell yeah.

Speaker 6:
[118:41] Hell yeah.

Speaker 2:
[118:44] All right, Randy, somebody put together an article about the best NFL draft classes of all time. Before I even read the article, I knew the number one answer would be 1983. Most football fans are aware of that.

Speaker 8:
[118:56] Now the quarterback class.

Speaker 2:
[118:57] They had Dan Marino, John Elway, Jim Kelly, Eric Dickerson, Darrell Green, Richard Dent. Just to name a few, of course, the Vikings' top pick that season was a guy who sadly just left us, Joey Browner. In 1983, the 299th overall pick in the 1983 NFL draft, the Green Bay Packers selected punter Bucky Scribner from the University of Kansas.

Speaker 8:
[119:31] Widely regarded best draft class ever is the 1974 Pittsburgh Steelers. In that draft class, they got Lynn Swann, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth, and Mike Webster. Four Hall of Fame picks all in their one draft class, 1974.

Speaker 2:
[119:52] Had to have been something shady going on there.

Speaker 8:
[119:54] That's unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[119:58] Oh, oh, God, we got to go here.

Speaker 1:
[120:00] Gorilla nut. Oh, yeah, here. What was that?

Speaker 3:
[120:04] Gorilla nut.

Speaker 1:
[120:05] Gorilla nut. Okay, what is this now? Real quick, and then we'll get out of the way. Hines, the folks that make ketchup and mustard and this and that. They also have their delicious 57 Sauce, right? Wonderful. I'm personally more of an A1 steak sauce guy, but I'm not picky. 51. What do they call it again, Josh? 57 Sauce. Wonderful.

Speaker 2:
[120:25] I like that stuff.

Speaker 1:
[120:26] I think I have this correct. The folks at Hines are going to go ahead and give free ketchup for life to whatever dork is picked number 57 in tonight's NFL.

Speaker 2:
[120:36] That's awesome. Well, the draft is in Pittsburgh, so that's kind of why it's all happening.

Speaker 17:
[120:40] That's some clever marketing right there. Hines feels that... That is very funny.

Speaker 1:
[120:43] Hines is a big sponsor of the terrible draft in I Don't Tell It. So whoever's picked number 57 gets a ketchup for life.

Speaker 17:
[120:53] That's a great deal.

Speaker 2:
[120:54] Yeah, that's fun.

Speaker 1:
[120:55] And then Hines will likely ask the kid to do some ads and on and on from there.

Speaker 2:
[121:01] That Hines 57 sauce, that's good.

Speaker 1:
[121:03] Well, I don't want ketchup. Maybe if I'm the kid who gets selected tonight, can I tell them, hey, dude, ketchup blows unless you're a five year old. Maybe they'll give you the 57 or the mustard. Huh? You think they'd go that way, Josh?

Speaker 2:
[121:15] I bet they would try to negotiate that. I mean, I think isn't A1 a Hines deal as well?

Speaker 1:
[121:21] Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[121:21] Maybe you could get some of that.

Speaker 1:
[121:22] I thought they were bitter arch rivals.

Speaker 2:
[121:24] Oh, maybe they are.

Speaker 1:
[121:24] But I've never looked into it.

Speaker 2:
[121:25] I thought it was the same.

Speaker 1:
[121:26] It's not anything I've ever looked into. All right, Randy Shaver, enjoy the show tonight then.

Speaker 2:
[121:32] I will.

Speaker 1:
[121:33] Back and forth this way and that.

Speaker 3:
[121:35] Lots and lots going on.

Speaker 1:
[121:37] The Colts are up. The Packers are up. The Bears, who are they going to?

Speaker 4:
[121:41] It's going to be hard to keep track of that and watch the Wolves tonight.

Speaker 1:
[121:45] Timber Wolf.

Speaker 17:
[121:46] I saw so many posts the whole schedule tonight. You got the NFL Draft. You got Nick's Pox. You got Nuggets Wolves. You got Cavs Raptors. Sabres, Maroons, Avs Kings, Cane Senators, Yankees, Red Sox and Dodgers Giants.

Speaker 1:
[121:58] Yankees?

Speaker 3:
[121:59] And Twins Mets. You said Yankees.

Speaker 17:
[122:01] Yankees.

Speaker 1:
[122:02] And the Twins play at night as well. OK, see you later, Randy Shaver.

Speaker 17:
[122:05] See you.

Speaker 3:
[122:06] It's Dr. Andrea.

Speaker 4:
[122:07] Here to save you about $5,000 and answer your pet questions. It's Dr. Andrea.

Speaker 3:
[122:13] On the 93X Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 1:
[122:18] She fought her way to our studio this morning. She fought through an illness to be here. So by God, put some respect on her name. Our guest today is Dr. Andrea Johnston from German Animal Hospital. Go ahead and, well, here's the thing. I was just going to say go ahead and ask the vet. 651-989-9393. I was going to mention our Luther Bloomington Kia text line. But again, Dr. Andrea, you have crippled our text machine. And this time, it appears to be permanent.

Speaker 5:
[122:49] It's done forever.

Speaker 2:
[122:50] Yeah, I tried it on different computers here. I'm on a hard line. I'm on Wi-Fi. And it's down. Too many texts.

Speaker 4:
[122:58] Just give them your cell phone number.

Speaker 5:
[122:59] OK, I could have guessed.

Speaker 2:
[123:00] You know, here's the sad thing. This is the only reason why I won't. Nobody would text or call. I can't handle that rejection.

Speaker 5:
[123:08] You would get the creepiest messages at like 2 in the morning.

Speaker 2:
[123:11] I'd get this, hey, can you give me Ashley's number?

Speaker 5:
[123:13] That's probably all I can. No, and then you would do it, of course.

Speaker 1:
[123:16] Can you get me Iron Maiden tickets? Yes, her popularity always causes our text machine to struggle a little bit. But at this particular moment, she's nailed it all together. When we teased you 15 minutes ago and said send in your questions, that was it.

Speaker 5:
[123:33] There's too many of you.

Speaker 1:
[123:34] The text machine went up in flames.

Speaker 4:
[123:35] Bummer.

Speaker 2:
[123:36] Yeah, well, I was just going to say if you're an IT person, maybe text us, but it's not going to go through. We're getting something that's saying 500 Bad Gateway.

Speaker 5:
[123:44] You could email us, I guess.

Speaker 1:
[123:45] We would love to honor our listeners who have taken the time to send in questions for you, Dr. Andrea. But we just don't have them in front of us. It happens. We seem to have technical glitches around here now. And again, I don't know if our listeners have noticed.

Speaker 2:
[124:00] I see. No kidding. Sorry again about yesterday in the stream. I was going to say, I saw two before this whole thing died on us, both same type of question, pet insurance.

Speaker 4:
[124:11] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[124:12] And I know you've been asked this before, but we do get asked a lot. And one question was, do you recommend it? What do you think about it? And the second is, is there any that you recommend specifically, any particular companies?

Speaker 4:
[124:22] So if you're going to do pet insurance, definitely do it when you have a puppy that has no preexisting issues. Yeah. Because the minute they have a problem, they won't cover it. The other thing is if you have a purebred like Bulldog or Josh, a Great Dane or certain breeds, they will not cover certain ailments because they're predisposed to it. Like Bulldogs and their breathing issues and their skin fold issues. They get those infections and those folds.

Speaker 2:
[124:49] So the most likely reason you need the insurance, they're not going to cover it.

Speaker 5:
[124:53] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[124:53] I understand it from their side.

Speaker 4:
[124:55] Basically, and their premiums for those specific breeds are so insanely high.

Speaker 5:
[124:59] Isn't that the same as regular human life insurance? If you have a better chance, if both your parents have had a heart attack, and then you go to get health insurance, aren't they like, hmm, we're going to raise yours up a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[125:12] That's why I'm far more honest with my veterinarian than I am with my real doctor.

Speaker 2:
[125:16] I made that mistake. I got denied life insurance because of epilepsy. Luckily, I had some life insurance before I was officially diagnosed, so that one, and I bought a long term. I tried to redo it and they said, no, thank you.

Speaker 17:
[125:30] Josh, I just realized you and my first dog have something in common. You both had epilepsy.

Speaker 2:
[125:34] Oh, really? Come here and rub my tummy, pal.

Speaker 17:
[125:37] Yeah, just like I did to Cocky Cody back in the day. I'll give you a nice tummy rub.

Speaker 1:
[125:41] So again, we're somewhat hamstrung here as far as questions for Dr. Andrea, but we can just be wide open for a little while.

Speaker 5:
[125:48] I've got one.

Speaker 1:
[125:49] You have a question for Dr. Andrea.

Speaker 5:
[125:51] Other people have wondered this too. So my dog ran away last night and he's a runner, so he likes to run from me as I try to chase him. Is there a, should I just let him run himself out and possibly get hit by a car and hopefully come back home? Or do I keep chasing him because it feels like when I chase him, he just gets further and further away from home. What do you recommend?

Speaker 4:
[126:13] They think it's a game.

Speaker 2:
[126:15] Is there a gun that shoots a net?

Speaker 5:
[126:17] Yeah, see, that would be so sweet. I would let him out all the time then.

Speaker 2:
[126:21] Do you have a lasso and a cowboy hat?

Speaker 4:
[126:24] Yeah, that'd be awesome. So my dog does this too and that's when I call my husband because he listens to my husband and not me. But I will say enticing with a treat or something. If you can bring something out to get him to come closer, but then they come close and then you try and grab them and they run away, it's safer to try and get them in versus letting them run like crazy.

Speaker 5:
[126:46] Because when I was younger, I don't know if your parents ever gave you guys this line. When my dog would get out, they'd be like, yeah, he knows where we live. He'll come home when he gets hungry eventually. But then we had a dog that didn't come home once.

Speaker 4:
[126:59] Oh, no.

Speaker 5:
[127:00] I mean, is there truth to that? Are they pretty good at finding their way home?

Speaker 4:
[127:03] Yeah, they can't absolutely find their way home.

Speaker 1:
[127:05] Some do, but some have been waiting to get away from you.

Speaker 2:
[127:09] Yeah, they found a better family.

Speaker 1:
[127:10] They've been waiting their entire lives to get away from you and they will not come back.

Speaker 5:
[127:14] My dog did try to go into somebody else's house last night. As I'm chasing him, somebody was walking into their front door and he was gonna go follow them. I was like, no, please don't do this. Maybe he just wants a new family.

Speaker 1:
[127:28] Well, true story, I once woke up with my neighbor's pug in my bed with me.

Speaker 5:
[127:31] That's cute.

Speaker 1:
[127:32] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[127:33] Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:
[127:34] So yeah, pardon me?

Speaker 2:
[127:36] Pug. I know what you meant. You meant wife.

Speaker 1:
[127:38] So Andrea says, yeah, treats. I mean, so Ashley, keep a steak or a whole fried chicken in your fridge at all times in case you need to lure this dog back onto your property.

Speaker 2:
[127:50] Whatever happened to your person pocket cheese?

Speaker 5:
[127:53] Well, he's not treat motivated, sadly. Yeah. I wanted him to be raised that where he didn't want table food and that kind of vibe, which is great, but now a piece of salami does not get him excited. He's like, yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1:
[128:10] Steak, fried chicken.

Speaker 4:
[128:12] You know what I do is my dog has a hunting collar, and he doesn't even have the hunting collar on, but if I grab the remote and he sees the remote, he comes running because he thinks he's going to get buzzed.

Speaker 5:
[128:23] That's smart.

Speaker 4:
[128:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[128:25] You were saying something off air about turkeys on your property.

Speaker 4:
[128:28] Oh my gosh, you guys. They are crazy right now.

Speaker 5:
[128:31] Aren't they super aggressive or can't they be? Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:
[128:34] They're total dicks.

Speaker 4:
[128:35] They got attitudes.

Speaker 2:
[128:37] Very cocky.

Speaker 4:
[128:38] Have you seen them try and gang up on a female, like on a hen? No. Time of year. It's horrible because they plume all their feathers. My sister had a turkey that thought it was fighting another turkey in her window yesterday. To the point she had blood coming down her window because he kept pecking the glass.

Speaker 1:
[128:58] Yeah. We've heard stories before about turkeys beating the piss out of cars because they see their reflection in the side of the car. They're dumb as balls and they fight themselves up against it.

Speaker 4:
[129:10] Their testosterone is definitely circling.

Speaker 1:
[129:14] They fight their reflection.

Speaker 4:
[129:15] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[129:16] So you have turkeys all over your property and they're mating.

Speaker 4:
[129:19] I literally was driving down the road and I rolled down the window and yelled, leave her alone.

Speaker 5:
[129:24] I love it.

Speaker 4:
[129:25] There were like four of them on one.

Speaker 5:
[129:27] Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4:
[129:27] That's not right. They have those huge, they're kind of ugly in my opinion.

Speaker 1:
[129:31] Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 5:
[129:32] Yeah, they are.

Speaker 1:
[129:33] Cruel. Well, I thought I told this on the air before. Maybe you, I mean, Ashley, Dana and Josh might be familiar with this. But my wife and I had to break up a duck rape on our property a couple years ago.

Speaker 5:
[129:46] I don't think I have the breast to ask.

Speaker 1:
[129:48] It was horrible. We're in the house and we hear something thudding on our sliding glass door. I thought some derelict on meth was trying to get in the house. But it was two male ducks absolutely assaulting a female.

Speaker 4:
[130:04] That's so sad. They're monogamous too. Ducks, they pair for life. So somebody was trying to get involved.

Speaker 2:
[130:11] That's already terrible.

Speaker 1:
[130:12] So, I mean, I went outside and I broke it up. My wife was outside with a broom. And when we said, get the hell out of here, you bastards. And they took off the males.

Speaker 5:
[130:23] You're a hero.

Speaker 1:
[130:24] Yeah, we broke up a duck assault. The female was in the corner of our property with just a completely lost look on her face. And we had to talk her, well, it's going to be okay. You're free to walk her. They're gone. They wear the holes. Nature's ugly.

Speaker 5:
[130:39] They are. They get a call SBU. Totally.

Speaker 1:
[130:42] Nature's friggin ugly.

Speaker 2:
[130:44] So I've heard this before. So my dogs, they love barking at people walking by. And I've heard that if you scold them and say, hey, knock that barking off, buddy, then they think, oh, sweet, we're all barking. And it makes it even worse?

Speaker 4:
[130:58] Well, they think I'm getting recognized for doing this, even though it may not be positive reinforcement. So in a lot of those situations, like if a dog jumps on you, you're not supposed to be like, no, you're supposed to turn your back and ignore the dog. Because they think if you say something, they're getting attention, so they're going to keep doing it.

Speaker 5:
[131:17] That like kind of makes me sad thinking to somebody, like a dog's all excited to see you and they jump on you and you just turn around.

Speaker 2:
[131:24] Oh, my wife embraces it and I keep telling her, you're going to kill somebody that comes over to our house. Because one of them, One of them, he'll just do it out of nowhere. I've asked him for a heads up, but he doesn't give me one. He just jumps up there, he puts his paws on your shoulders. He's ways, as much as I do.

Speaker 5:
[131:41] Yeah, he's going to kill somebody.

Speaker 17:
[131:43] There's a popular internet meme that goes around about dogs where an owner says something to their dog, like you don't need to bark at every random person that walks by, and the dog in response says, yeah, well, how many home break-ins have we had? Zero, you know, I'm doing my job.

Speaker 4:
[131:56] They are doing their job, and it's a lot.

Speaker 1:
[131:59] That is exactly what it is, and some folks don't get it. I'm glad a couple of you said it. Some people get so irritated when a dog barks, when someone comes over to your house, your dog is barking at them.

Speaker 4:
[132:12] It's what they're supposed to do.

Speaker 1:
[132:14] That's what they're supposed to do.

Speaker 5:
[132:15] I always feel bad for the guests, like, sorry, you have to listen to this. But in my head, I'm like, yeah, good boy.

Speaker 4:
[132:22] You know what's crazy, though? My dog can tell the difference between the school bus, so he gets excited, the FedEx guy, because he gives him treats, but he wants to kill the UPS guy. He knows the sound of the shots coming up the street.

Speaker 5:
[132:34] He doesn't like the UPS guy's vibe.

Speaker 17:
[132:36] Well, I referenced my childhood dog earlier, Cocky Cody, the Cocker Spaniel. He got the nickname Cocky Cody because he would bark his ass off. It didn't matter if my best friend came over every day of the summer, he would still bark at him nonstop. Anybody who came in that wasn't one of the four of us in the family, he would bark for about 15 minutes sometimes.

Speaker 1:
[132:55] They didn't like them. They're doing their frigging job.

Speaker 5:
[132:58] I'm sorry. I don't know if you finished answering. So you're supposed to just ignore them when they're barking at strangers?

Speaker 4:
[133:04] Well, I mean, I will usually shut the blinds or distract my dog with something else because he goes crazy to the point he's scratching up the wall. So I will distract him, try and offer him something, or bring him somewhere else so he's not looking out the window.

Speaker 1:
[133:19] We are jaw-jacking with Dr. Andrea Johnston from German Animal Hospital, and I know what some of yous are saying. You're saying, where's the Q&A session? Her popularity squashed our text machine. We get all of our questions from our listening audience via our text machine, and as soon as we teased her appearance, the text machine fell down.

Speaker 2:
[133:40] I think we're back up and running. Oh, I see. Yeah, it looks like we're going here.

Speaker 1:
[133:44] Until we get there, because I see nothing. Here's something for you, Dr. Andrea. A conversation was going around a few days ago about which of the two, dogs or cats, have the better memory. I don't know if this is a field of expertise that you can comment on, but there was a conversation about how long it would take before your cat or dog would completely forget about you. They seem to hint... Pardon me?

Speaker 5:
[134:19] I said forever, right? They never forget about you.

Speaker 1:
[134:21] Just like we said a few minutes ago when your dog runs out of the house, sometimes they're doing it for fun, sometimes because they can't stand you and they want to get away from you. But they seem to be leaning more towards cats have the better memory of their people.

Speaker 4:
[134:36] I would agree with that.

Speaker 1:
[134:37] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[134:37] I think cats, they're just, unfortunately, for dog lovers, they're just smarter.

Speaker 1:
[134:42] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[134:43] They're just, they just have that intuition.

Speaker 1:
[134:45] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[134:45] I mean, I agree. I think dogs remember smells and voices and sounds, but like I've had clients who've lost their cats for like five years and all of a sudden the cat shows up at their doorstep and watch them.

Speaker 5:
[134:57] Hey, how you guys been doing?

Speaker 4:
[134:58] They're crazy species.

Speaker 1:
[134:59] They are frigging brilliant in some ways, aren't they?

Speaker 4:
[135:01] They really are. So I would say cats, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[135:04] Got a question?

Speaker 1:
[135:05] Yeah, go ahead, Josh.

Speaker 2:
[135:06] I got a question here. The texts are working 651-989-9393.

Speaker 1:
[135:11] You're the guy, Josh, because mine are not.

Speaker 2:
[135:12] They're not. Maybe-

Speaker 5:
[135:13] Well, mine are.

Speaker 2:
[135:14] Close your browser and reopen it maybe.

Speaker 1:
[135:16] Letter book.

Speaker 2:
[135:17] Not to tell you what to do, but that might help.

Speaker 1:
[135:18] No, no. Your advice is always- Go ahead.

Speaker 2:
[135:20] I didn't mean to be so forceful.

Speaker 1:
[135:21] No, no.

Speaker 2:
[135:22] I'm sorry. This text says, my dog yesterday threw up blood twice, lots of blood, both times after drinking water. The vet said it was an ulcer. This morning he will drink water and we still see blood. Any other ideas other than an ulcer?

Speaker 4:
[135:36] I'd make sure you don't have any mouse poisoning in the house. That's a big one these days. The mice, they cause clotting, bleeding deficiencies. So make sure your dog's not getting into rat or mice poisoning. I would get that checked out further. I'd get the dog to have a CBC looked at, make sure there's nothing else going on, but he might need an ultrasound and x-rays.

Speaker 1:
[135:57] What's more concerning, blood out the front door or the back door?

Speaker 4:
[136:00] Front door.

Speaker 1:
[136:01] Oh yeah?

Speaker 4:
[136:01] Yeah. We see a ton of stress colitis with dogs. When they get nervous, they get a ton of bloody diarrhea.

Speaker 1:
[136:07] I would have guessed the opposite, but that's good to know.

Speaker 4:
[136:09] Yeah, I tell people that all the time. I'm like, blood in stool is less concerning in animals than it is people.

Speaker 1:
[136:14] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[136:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[136:15] Well, that's good to know.

Speaker 4:
[136:16] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[136:16] Oh, wow. Yeah. Now my text machine is working. And when we go to commercial, we've got a lot of work to do.

Speaker 5:
[136:24] Yeah, my God.

Speaker 1:
[136:25] There are a lot of freaking questions coming in by God.

Speaker 2:
[136:29] We had a dog that ate everything.

Speaker 4:
[136:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[136:31] It was, I mean, it was ridiculous. She ate a railing, like a handrail. She ate drywall. But the one that got her the worst was she ate water softener salt.

Speaker 4:
[136:40] Oh.

Speaker 2:
[136:41] So I came home to what I thought was a murder scene, how much blood she started throwing up.

Speaker 5:
[136:46] Oh, poor baby.

Speaker 2:
[136:47] That was pretty terrifying.

Speaker 5:
[136:48] Speaking of eating, somebody texted in and said that their dog doesn't eat their kibble without them being present in the room. That's the same thing.

Speaker 17:
[136:57] Yeah, my dog's a social eater.

Speaker 4:
[136:58] That's a social eater. Yeah, they like that.

Speaker 1:
[137:00] It makes them feel safe.

Speaker 4:
[137:02] Yeah, it's a safety thing. It's funny.

Speaker 1:
[137:07] Why do you look so confused, Ashley?

Speaker 5:
[137:09] Because I thought my already broken dog was just broken for another reason. She sometimes gets in these weird funks where she won't eat unless I'm home sitting next to her.

Speaker 1:
[137:18] Yeah, they like that. Hey, mommy, watch what I can do. That's pretty much what it is.

Speaker 2:
[137:23] Let's get together as a family.

Speaker 1:
[137:24] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[137:25] I turned my computer screen over to Dr. Andrew because I can't pronounce some of those words at the top one.

Speaker 4:
[137:31] We have a Dane Lab Chesapeake Bay Retriever Mix. He has paroxysmal dyskinesis. Is there any tips on this? It happens every five to six months. Too old to be stoned at work.

Speaker 2:
[137:47] That's it. Too old to be stoned at work, Jesus.

Speaker 4:
[137:50] Oh, got it.

Speaker 5:
[137:52] What does that have to do with it?

Speaker 1:
[137:53] That's his handle, yes.

Speaker 4:
[137:54] Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it. So dyskinesis is like a neurologic condition. There's not much you can do in terms of like helping the animal through it. I wish there was something. I don't know if he's been like confirmed diagnosed with that. Gosh, I haven't seen one of those since I worked at the U. Oh, yeah?

Speaker 1:
[138:10] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[138:11] They're not very common.

Speaker 3:
[138:12] It's Dr. Andrea on the 93X Half-Assed Morning Show.

Speaker 1:
[138:19] All right. Yeah, Dr. Andrea Johnston is here. Live in studio, Ask the Vet. We are cutting through our Ask the Vet gimmick, and we're going to try and rip through a few more questions here for Andrea from our wonderful listening audience. But first, I wanted to ask you something.

Speaker 4:
[138:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[138:37] On a personal level, you're a hockey parent.

Speaker 4:
[138:39] I am.

Speaker 1:
[138:40] Have your kids been climbing the walls here with this playoff series or what?

Speaker 4:
[138:44] I feel like they've been in the rink too much. Like they haven't been home. You know, spring hockey is worse than winter hockey, I feel like. Yeah. I mean, we're in Duluth last weekend and Blaine at the Suba Rink.

Speaker 1:
[138:56] So they got their own thing going on.

Speaker 4:
[138:58] For sure. I love watching it. My husband does, but the other two are just tired of playing it.

Speaker 1:
[139:03] You didn't make it through all the last night's game, did you? No.

Speaker 4:
[139:06] Gosh, no.

Speaker 1:
[139:06] And by the way, someone said it was ridiculous. Yeah. Someone texted in and said, boy, Dr. Andrea, it sounds like she had a real good time watching the hockey game. That's you weren't drinking. You're sick. Sick. She's sick and she still got into the studio cubby.

Speaker 4:
[139:21] I sound worse than I feel. Let's just say that.

Speaker 1:
[139:23] That's good. This is real interesting. Where did I put this one? A cat that is shedding worms? Is that a real thing? Oh, gosh. Gross. Where the hell did I put that one?

Speaker 2:
[139:35] Shedding worms?

Speaker 1:
[139:37] I thought maybe it was a misprint, but here it is, Dr. Andrea, our 16-year-old cat. Oh no, that's a different one. I don't know where I put the text, but I know that it said something about a cat shedding worms.

Speaker 4:
[139:48] Yeah. I mean, if they're miceing, if they're killing mice, for sure, they're shedding roundworms.

Speaker 1:
[139:53] What do you mean shedding?

Speaker 4:
[139:55] Like coming out their back end.

Speaker 1:
[139:56] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[139:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[139:57] Oh, I assumed that was just a misprint and there was a wrong vowel in there.

Speaker 1:
[140:01] No, I thought worms were escaping their skin.

Speaker 2:
[140:05] Yes, that's what I thought they meant.

Speaker 4:
[140:06] No, I mean, I've had clients where a roundworm has gone from their kitchen to their bedroom out of their cat's butt, and the cat's running around freaking out.

Speaker 1:
[140:15] That's the closest I've come to vomiting on this program in a long time, but it was a beautiful thing. So the mice get the cat sick and they poop worms.

Speaker 4:
[140:23] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[140:24] Okay, so.

Speaker 4:
[140:25] Or if your cat has fleas and it ingests a flea, it could get tapeworms, so you have to differentiate between the two.

Speaker 2:
[140:32] Seen that, that's awful.

Speaker 1:
[140:33] You're telling me there was a worm hanging out of cat's ass that went from the kitchen to the bedroom?

Speaker 4:
[140:38] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[140:39] F me running.

Speaker 2:
[140:40] You know like when a magician has all kinds of scarves tied together and they pull it from that hat?

Speaker 1:
[140:45] Stop it.

Speaker 2:
[140:46] That's what the tape, you're saying that's what it is? What do you think the longest tapeworm you've ever pulled out is?

Speaker 4:
[140:50] Oh gosh. I don't know. I mean this one had to have gone pretty far. I mean I've had great, I had a Great Dane once, vomit. No joke, a plate full of spaghetti of worms. In the exam room.

Speaker 2:
[141:01] Dang, I think.

Speaker 4:
[141:02] It was literally a bowl full of spaghetti.

Speaker 17:
[141:04] Not going to Olive Garden that night.

Speaker 2:
[141:05] I'd quit, I'd still go. Sprinkler fitter Jesus said his dog absolutely loves to eat cardboard. He said he makes sure there aren't any staples she could eat. Other than that is there any harm? She's kind of a moron, but I'll keep her.

Speaker 4:
[141:19] My dog does that too. He chews the corner of the boxes. I mean, I wouldn't promote it because they could get obstructed if they eat too much of it.

Speaker 5:
[141:26] Here's your cardboard for dinner.

Speaker 4:
[141:28] Yeah, I don't think it's probably a good thing.

Speaker 2:
[141:30] Yeah, we had a dog that loved to eat pizza boxes.

Speaker 4:
[141:32] Yeah, I don't know why they like that.

Speaker 2:
[141:34] I understand the flavor maybe.

Speaker 5:
[141:35] Yeah, all that grease. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[141:37] What do you make of a dog that comes out of a deep sleep and attacks the other dog in the house?

Speaker 4:
[141:44] So sad when they do that.

Speaker 1:
[141:45] I've never heard of that.

Speaker 4:
[141:47] Yeah, so there are dogs that will actually do that to owners, too. I've had a case like that, and the dog doesn't even know what's doing it. So it's almost having a night terror. If it's another dog, and they're sharing the bed, and if they're territorial, it could be that, too. But a lot of times, they don't even know they're doing it, and they're dreaming really hard or sleeping really hard.

Speaker 1:
[142:08] And eventually, they snap out of it?

Speaker 4:
[142:10] Yeah, but then they feel horrible, right? Because they don't even realize what they did.

Speaker 1:
[142:13] Yeah. They're being yelled at, they're being reprimanded, they don't know why.

Speaker 4:
[142:17] Yeah. And a lot of times, there's nothing you can do about it. There's no medication.

Speaker 1:
[142:20] No medication?

Speaker 4:
[142:21] No, just keep the other dogs safe.

Speaker 1:
[142:23] I mean, we all know dogs have dreams. I mean, we've all seen that hilarious video of that yellow lab that was running in its sleep and then got up on its feet and ran into a wall.

Speaker 5:
[142:32] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[142:33] It's one of the greatest videos of all time.

Speaker 5:
[142:34] They showed me that one.

Speaker 1:
[142:35] Dogs have night terrors and they don't. I had an uncle who had night terrors. You want it to be nowhere near that son of a bitch.

Speaker 4:
[142:42] They dream like we do.

Speaker 1:
[142:43] Horrifying stuff.

Speaker 5:
[142:45] I've always heard you're not supposed to wake them up or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[142:47] Well, I wouldn't have gone in there if you would give me a million dollars when my uncle had his night.

Speaker 5:
[142:51] Well, I'm talking about dogs, but I always feel bad. I'm always afraid that it is a night terror or something. So I go and pet them and cuddle them. It's okay.

Speaker 1:
[143:01] So you've never done this when all the dogs I've had through all my lifetime, if they're kind of twitching and running in their dream, you've never tried to incorporate yourself into the dream?

Speaker 5:
[143:11] No.

Speaker 1:
[143:12] Where like I'll grab one of their paws, like really forcefully while they're asleep and see how they react to it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:
[143:17] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[143:18] Yeah. It's kind of fun. And you see their facial expression kind of change in their dream. Maybe they're dreaming that, I don't know, another dog is biting their paw. And then you wake them up and, oh, it was a bad dream.

Speaker 5:
[143:27] It's okay.

Speaker 1:
[143:28] Right here.

Speaker 2:
[143:29] Here's a Belgian Malinois. Very much a Velcro dog has separation anxiety. I'll be leaving town without him for 16 days. Wow. What can I give him to help with his issues while I'm away?

Speaker 4:
[143:41] I mean, it depends on where the dog is going. But usually I recommend Prozac for those situations, but you had to start that six weeks before leaving, so that probably won't work. I will use a lot of trazadone in those situations just to kind of bring them down a notch, make them a little less anxious. Trazadone works really well.

Speaker 5:
[144:00] She gets so high off of that stuff. It's hilarious. Especially like the first time you give it to them because you're like, well, because you can give them like a range of medication, obviously, depending on how anxious they are. And you're like, should I give them half? Should I give them one? One and a half. So it's like, started with a half, that didn't do anything. Moved up to one, didn't do anything. One and a half?

Speaker 4:
[144:21] They're out.

Speaker 5:
[144:22] Barely coherent.

Speaker 1:
[144:25] Now, here's another term that is throwing me. Earlier we had shedding worms. I had a whole different idea in my head as to what that meant until you straightened us out. Reverse breathing?

Speaker 4:
[144:38] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[144:39] The question is, what's the best way to stop reverse breathing in a French bulldog?

Speaker 4:
[144:44] Ooh, that's a hard one because of the breed. So we call it reverse sneezing. So it's how they clear their airway. It sounds super traumatic because you're like, isn't my dog choking? They're actually just kind of like snuffling in air and trying to clear their airway. There's nothing you can really do about it.

Speaker 1:
[145:00] Now that you described it, I know exactly, I've heard that from. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4:
[145:03] I get so many people coming in on appointments for that, and I'll turn to them and be like, YouTube reverse sneezing. There's really nothing we can do.

Speaker 1:
[145:11] It's not harmful.

Speaker 4:
[145:12] It's not harmful. It's traumatic to listen to, but it's the way they clear their airways, especially in a French bulldog that has very narrow airways.

Speaker 5:
[145:20] It sounds like they're dying.

Speaker 1:
[145:21] And as we all know, dogs aren't too shy about things like that. If they have to cough or...

Speaker 2:
[145:27] Oh boy, you're not kidding.

Speaker 1:
[145:28] They're not ashamed to do it in front of us, even if it scares us a little bit.

Speaker 2:
[145:32] I like this Jesus name. Sucks at being an auto technician, Jesus. Has a 10-year-old pit bull. Just recently, he'll start favoring his right leg. Saw him kick his leg out like he's shaking something off. Checked it by rotating it. Didn't phase him, paused, saw nothing. Kind of flinched though when touching his toes. If this means anything, he said his nails are long, but not so long that he's bothered by it. He is on joint pain supplements.

Speaker 4:
[146:00] The minute you say pit bull and you say back, I think it's a back leg from how you're describing it. My first concern is an ACL tear. Just pit bulls have that anatomy. They're like bow-legged. You know how they walk. And they're very susceptible to tearing their ACLs. So I'd get that looked out.

Speaker 1:
[146:17] Just like your favorite football player. ACL will give away on them once in a while.

Speaker 17:
[146:22] I had a buddy with a Bernese Mountain Dog tour his ACL, had to do the whole recovery thing, had to carry him up and down the stairs. And then as soon as he recovered, the other one went.

Speaker 1:
[146:30] And you know what sucked, I heard this story from me once before, Dana, that Burmese Mountain Dog, this happened during free agency.

Speaker 17:
[146:40] That's a bad time. You missed out on a big contract.

Speaker 2:
[146:43] Endorsements dried up. Yeah, it was a tough time.

Speaker 1:
[146:45] I don't mean to close on a bit of a dark note here with Dr. Andrea, but I think this is a really interesting question. And I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say about it. We're going to talk about putting your dog or cat down. We all know what a sad day that is. But a listener wanted to know your thoughts on if you have multiple pets and one of them has to be put down, do you recommend that the other pets see this happen? Do you think is that helpful to the pet, to this and that?

Speaker 5:
[147:14] That is not the route I thought they were going to go. Like, should we just put the other one down too while we're at it?

Speaker 4:
[147:18] I have had that question before.

Speaker 5:
[147:19] A little two for one action or what?

Speaker 1:
[147:21] My God, that's cold blooded.

Speaker 4:
[147:22] It's horrible. No, I don't do that.

Speaker 1:
[147:25] Are there people who really do that, Dr. Andrea?

Speaker 4:
[147:27] They'll ask.

Speaker 1:
[147:28] Should I have two dogs? One of them is dying. Should I kill both of them? Jesus.

Speaker 4:
[147:32] Yeah, but it's too hard for the other dog. I have 50-50. I would say half of my clients will bring in the other pet. It kind of depends on the temperament of the other dog, how bonded they are. A lot of times when they're in the room with the euthanasia, they're more stressed out than anything. So some clients will leave the dog in the car and then come in and have the dog smell the deceased pet. But then we go back to the whole memory thing, right? Like how much are they going to remember that for how long? A lot of times we're dealing with the aftermath where we're putting them on Prozac because they're a little depressed at home, which is sad. But it's kind of personal preference, honestly. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[148:14] I know I've done it that way and you've been the one. Once or twice. And I just personally, I think it's somewhat helpful to the pet to see, okay. And then they're not completely stupid. They give it a sniff. They know.

Speaker 4:
[148:31] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[148:33] No, dude, that would tear me apart. Like I'd already be an absolute mess, but bringing in my dogs?

Speaker 4:
[148:39] No.

Speaker 1:
[148:39] I mean, matter of fact, we had, you know, years ago I had three cats living in the house. Jesus, I can't believe we did that. One of them just suddenly died one day.

Speaker 5:
[148:50] Oh, the other cats knew that was coming.

Speaker 1:
[148:53] Could be.

Speaker 4:
[148:53] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[148:53] But we made sure we brought the two other cats downstairs to give that cat a look over. And so at least in our opinion, they're thinking, okay, he's gone, you know.

Speaker 5:
[149:02] Not to be like completely morbid. But what if you did that and like one of the other cats just like started eating it right away? I would even hesitate.

Speaker 1:
[149:09] I think I would stop that behavior.

Speaker 4:
[149:11] That would not be good.

Speaker 1:
[149:13] I would say, hey, look, I would like to try some of that.

Speaker 5:
[149:16] Well, you know, I was thinking about how they like, you know, if like humans die, they'll like help themselves eventually have a little nipple. Cats? Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[149:24] They will eat your feet and your hands.

Speaker 5:
[149:25] So I was wondering like what their rules are for their own species.

Speaker 4:
[149:29] Ugh, yuck.

Speaker 2:
[149:30] Josh? Yes.

Speaker 1:
[149:31] If I'm the first one to go, I give you permission to use my body to survive.

Speaker 4:
[149:36] No way.

Speaker 2:
[149:36] I'm going to decide, ask, Dr. Andrew, would you put us down?

Speaker 4:
[149:40] Maybe.

Speaker 1:
[149:41] Together?

Speaker 4:
[149:42] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[149:42] If he goes first, I'm going. You don't have to give us a deal. I'm not asking for a discount or anything.

Speaker 4:
[149:48] My mom asks me that question all the time. I'm like, mom, I will not. Sorry. Oh my God. She's fine.

Speaker 1:
[149:55] She's asked you if you will be the one to put her down? Yes.

Speaker 4:
[149:58] I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 1:
[149:58] You got the tools for the trade.

Speaker 4:
[150:00] Mom.

Speaker 1:
[150:01] Is mom a deep sleeper? I'm kidding. All right. Thank you, Dr. Andrea.

Speaker 4:
[150:04] Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[150:05] So nice to see you.

Speaker 1:
[150:06] Lights out. Lights out stuff.

Speaker 2:
[150:08] Shout out to big gut tow truck Jesus starting their season opener for their first of six three day drift events at Elko starting at noon tomorrow. He said they're drifting all weekend and it's going to be sick. Happy 15th birthday to Bella from dad, magic filmmaker Jesus and happy 57th to Lizzie.