transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravan Of Garbage, where we're wrapping up our War Of The Worlds trilogy.

Speaker 2:
[00:05] That's right.

Speaker 1:
[00:07] And what a great way to end our lives.

Speaker 2:
[00:10] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[00:11] This is it.

Speaker 2:
[00:11] All right, let's make a pact, everyone. You, me, everybody watching. That's right, yeah. Because I mean, after we're gone, what's the point?

Speaker 1:
[00:19] What would you even do, just wander around for a bit?

Speaker 2:
[00:21] Just wander around? Wander around in this ruined world?

Speaker 1:
[00:25] Yeah, it's like when you finish an open world game, and then they're like, you're free to explore. What?

Speaker 2:
[00:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[00:31] Talk to a shopkeeper?

Speaker 2:
[00:32] Stop petty crime? Stop petty crime, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[00:35] Don't bother.

Speaker 2:
[00:36] It's like when you get to the end of a novel and you're like, well, bang, you know? What's over the point?

Speaker 1:
[00:42] It's just like that. Anyways, please leave a like for War of the Worlds 2025. So this was directed by Rich Lee, who've done some other minor TV work and the like. But it's interesting because this is produced by Timur Bekmanbatov.

Speaker 2:
[00:59] Is he the director of Night Watch?

Speaker 1:
[01:00] And Day Watch.

Speaker 2:
[01:01] And Day Watch and some other stuff.

Speaker 1:
[01:03] And Wanted.

Speaker 2:
[01:03] But he, yes, the least accurate comic book adaptation of all time.

Speaker 1:
[01:07] Maybe.

Speaker 2:
[01:08] But he also apparently is heavy into, I've just learned this is called a screen life movie. This is the genre of movie. Because he also produced some others. He produced the movie Searching, which has John Chu in it, which I quite liked.

Speaker 1:
[01:20] Agreed.

Speaker 2:
[01:20] I saw that at the cinemas, it's about a missing person and it all takes place within a computer screen on the cinema screen. And I'm like, this is very compelling. This is fun. This is interesting.

Speaker 1:
[01:30] This could be a whole genre of movies. Oh wait, I can't.

Speaker 2:
[01:33] No, I can't. This is like that Black Mirror episode on Netflix that was Choose Your Own Adventure. And I liked that one and I watched it. And I'm like, they're never gonna do anything. They're never gonna do anything as good as this again. Bang! You know? But then I didn't. Because it's important.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] Yeah, absolutely. So his quote about this was, if aliens invaded today, how would we experience it? Most likely, we'd be watching it on our phones. In that way, it's kind of a modern spin on Orson Welles' War of the Worlds.

Speaker 2:
[02:01] Because that was on the radio.

Speaker 1:
[02:02] It was. So going into this, I had never seen it before. I'd heard it was the worst movie ever made, blah, blah, blah, zero percent rotten tomatoes at one point. I can't remember whether it is now. And it's one of those movies where I'm worried I'm not gonna do it justice in terms of just how bizarre and terrible this is.

Speaker 2:
[02:19] Sure.

Speaker 1:
[02:20] So here's some words that I think sum it up.

Speaker 2:
[02:22] My fear is also that you watch it and you go, it was all right.

Speaker 1:
[02:25] It was pretty good, actually.

Speaker 2:
[02:25] It was all right.

Speaker 1:
[02:26] I don't know what people were talking about, actually.

Speaker 2:
[02:28] Not in a funny way, you know, but it is bad in a funny way.

Speaker 1:
[02:31] Yeah. Sourless, cheap, slapdash, not a real movie. 80% of this is just staring into the open mouth of a slack-jawed ice cube.

Speaker 2:
[02:41] Absolutely. And there's a lot of, also first of all, in the opening sequence, Ice Cube drinks from a clearly empty cup of coffee.

Speaker 1:
[02:49] You couldn't even put any ice cubes in it?

Speaker 2:
[02:51] No, sir. His trademark iced cubes? Absolutely not, which is a bad sign. Like that's a...

Speaker 1:
[02:59] Well, I think it's worth pointing out that he's quoted as saying, we shot this in 15 days. It was during the pandemic. So this was in 2020. So the director wasn't in there. None of the actors were in there. This was the only way we could really shoot the movie. We know, man. I didn't know any of that in starting this, but that becomes very apparent straight away.

Speaker 2:
[03:22] And this movie is only 90 minutes, but it feels like an eternity.

Speaker 1:
[03:26] It really does. It's one of those.

Speaker 2:
[03:27] Because there's so many sequences where it's just a dramatic zoom in on a computer cursor as it goes to a text box and clicks, and then somebody copies and pastes a password to dramatic music.

Speaker 1:
[03:40] Yeah, because he's like, oh, I can't get into this. But I can, I have a program that can open any password or whatever. Yeah, god damn.

Speaker 2:
[03:47] So in this, Ice Cube plays bad dad, Will Radford.

Speaker 1:
[03:51] Yes, that's right.

Speaker 2:
[03:52] And he's a counter terrorist computer surveillance analyst guy. And through his lens, we see the invasion of earth by the Martians, presumably. What's interesting, I think, is this movie has taken the bad dad trope from 2005's War of the Worlds.

Speaker 1:
[04:08] That's interesting.

Speaker 2:
[04:09] Because prior to that one, War of the Worlds didn't, I mean, it had dads, presumably. But it wasn't, there was no emphasis on the dads.

Speaker 1:
[04:17] You didn't know who was a bad dad.

Speaker 2:
[04:18] Right? Probably all of them, because it was the 50s. But post 2005, they're like, okay, you know what? The War of the Worlds has to have a bad dad. But he's a different type of bad dad. Because Tom Cruise bad dad was not interested in his kids. This dad is too interested in his kids. He's got both of his children under surveillance.

Speaker 1:
[04:38] Dude, do your job. Which is also just clicking around just different cities and surveillance footage and listening to just anybody's phone call. Also, he's the only one in that building. Is he the only one who works at the NSA?

Speaker 2:
[04:53] I think there's like one dude on each floor or something. But we never see them because they lock them down.

Speaker 1:
[04:58] Right, okay.

Speaker 2:
[04:59] Everybody gets locked out quite early on in the picture.

Speaker 1:
[05:01] They're doing their own War of the Worlds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[05:03] That's exactly right, yes.

Speaker 1:
[05:04] It would be funny if there were multiple different agents happening and they're all dealing with the same version. Yeah, portal to hell opened up in this one. I'm dealing with that. This one's Jesus is back, but he's mad.

Speaker 2:
[05:15] The floor above Ice Cube, Dr. Dre is dealing with the mole men.

Speaker 1:
[05:21] Also, I should acknowledge that this is a hard acting gig. Yeah. Because you're sitting across from nothing. You're not really looking at a screen.

Speaker 2:
[05:28] You're probably looking directly at a camera.

Speaker 1:
[05:30] For a lot of it, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[05:31] Because the actors are told not to do.

Speaker 1:
[05:33] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[05:33] And Ice Cube is good in other things.

Speaker 1:
[05:36] Agreed. He would have made a great J Jonah Jameson at some point.

Speaker 2:
[05:39] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[05:39] People have made the case for that. But originally, though, the character of William Radford was going to be a paraplegic. So that's the idea that he's locked into his screen.

Speaker 2:
[05:48] Which I- A little bit real window.

Speaker 1:
[05:49] I was going to say, yeah, it's a bit real window, but apparently the director was impressed with the intensity of Ice Cube's chair throw. So he- which I guess he just did.

Speaker 2:
[05:56] And he's standing up and sitting down. And that point where he goes to his door and he goes, Door's locked. I can't get out. Because the computer's locked the door. If only I was good with computers, I'd unlock the door.

Speaker 1:
[06:08] Yeah, the idea that this man who is the surveillance state is the hero also, that in itself is like crazy, right? And it's just him clicking around and being like, Oh, look at this punk. Or just being like, damn, like just this boomer nerd, just video calling people all fucking day.

Speaker 2:
[06:26] Judge Durian executioner, he can call in a drone strike at any moment on anybody who disrespects his children or whatever. Or shows too much respect to one of his children. Or his son who he hates.

Speaker 1:
[06:37] God, unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[06:38] When we first encountered his dad, first of all, he's surveilling his pregnant daughter.

Speaker 1:
[06:42] Also his equipment has muffin detective capabilities.

Speaker 2:
[06:45] That's right.

Speaker 1:
[06:46] And it knows what kind of milk. Like, oh God, there's so much, I don't even, there's so many little individual parts of this is broken, I feel like I'm gonna get sidetracked. I need to fucking focus.

Speaker 2:
[06:57] In a different movie, this man would be the crazed stalker who is following people and critiquing their dietary habits before he murders them.

Speaker 1:
[07:06] That's good.

Speaker 2:
[07:06] You know, it's, if-

Speaker 1:
[07:08] Maybe it would have been if there wasn't a War of the Worlds.

Speaker 2:
[07:11] If Jigsaw had this technology, it'd be like, well, you don't drink enough milk. Time to drain you in milk.

Speaker 1:
[07:16] Time to take all your bones away. You don't deserve bones.

Speaker 2:
[07:19] That's right. But in this, he's, you know, he calls up his daughter to critique her for not giving enough protein to a baby. And then he's mad that his son is spending too much time playing video games and he-

Speaker 1:
[07:31] Well, that's what he's really doing now. Yeah, he's deleting his son's Steam library or whatever. It's absolute, I don't understand that at all.

Speaker 2:
[07:39] And you know, but he's proven wrong towards the end because his son's video game skills do save the day.

Speaker 1:
[07:44] That is true.

Speaker 2:
[07:45] In a very cool way.

Speaker 1:
[07:47] Yeah, and also he's worried because there's this person called Disruptor. And they're disrupting the whole looking at stuff industry.

Speaker 2:
[07:55] That's right.

Speaker 1:
[07:55] And Ice Cube doesn't like that because that's what he's about. And he thinks he's at the top level of looking at stuff.

Speaker 2:
[08:00] That's right.

Speaker 1:
[08:00] But there might be another level of that. But anyway, forget all of that because then it's time for a new War of the Worlds. Eva Longoria calls and she's like, hey, what do you think of this terrible lightning effect?

Speaker 2:
[08:10] And he's like, I don't care about terrible lightning effects. I only care about being the surveillance state and being judged jury and executioner on my daughter, quite frankly. Thinking about drone striking my pregnant daughter, if you wouldn't mind.

Speaker 1:
[08:23] But thanks for FaceTime calling me, which is a thing that we're all doing. But the effect, we should talk about this. Or even just the way it's filmed.

Speaker 2:
[08:31] We don't have to. We're doing it. All right.

Speaker 1:
[08:33] Everything is filmed so terribly.

Speaker 2:
[08:37] Agreed.

Speaker 1:
[08:37] And look, there are special effects and I want to talk about that also, but just the idea of like, just people running down the street, holding a camera or a phone or whatever, filming themselves.

Speaker 2:
[08:47] They really had to contrive it. They really had to, and that's the limitations of this screen life genre, is that if you want to depict certain types of action, you have to really contrive ways to have people showing that even though nobody would do it in real life. There's a point where there's like a special operation SWAT team or whatever, and they're busting in on a building. So they have to have one woman, the leader of the team, holding a gun and then also holding her phone in the other, like it's just like the Mulder and Scully in the X-Files, like holding a flashlight except she's just holding a phone.

Speaker 1:
[09:19] Yeah, Ice Cube wants to see, doesn't it?

Speaker 2:
[09:20] Yeah. Ice Cube got to see it.

Speaker 1:
[09:23] I've got a note here. It said, I remember when he was directing his son to run around, but I don't remember that. So I wrote that to be like, hey, remember this? I guess it was a bit when he was looking at the map and his son's like running through and he's like, turn right here, turn left here.

Speaker 2:
[09:38] I think there's a moment where, there is a moment where his, the Martians who were also in this.

Speaker 1:
[09:44] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:44] Which is, it's really, honestly, it's really a side note that the fact that the Martians are in this. I think this might have been a different movie if they didn't go, you know what, War of the Worlds is free, so we could put the Martians in this. But there's a moment where his son is being pursued by the Martians because they're for their reasons, and they're going to blast him, and he's like, son, run this way, now run this way, whatever. And then they blow up his house, but then it turns out he's in a different house.

Speaker 1:
[10:07] He's got a green screen. Well, everybody has a fucking green screen in this movie. Okay, so let's just talk about the horrendous special effects in this. So a lot of this movie, so much of it, the other 20% when you're not looking into Ice Cube's open mouth, is just stock footage of like forest fires and military vehicles and clouds or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[10:27] And news reports of people going, and then the Martians, they've destroyed everything and everybody's panicking and the world is over. I don't think you should be saying that, news reporter. I don't think that's your call to make, actually.

Speaker 1:
[10:39] And it's interesting because sometimes they'll use like real disasters. And apparently, there were moments when the CG artists actually, they had real disaster footage and they went, we can't use this. So they'd recreate it because they're like, this is in poor taste. This is a real plane crash. Yeah, we're just like, you know, an alien laser did this. There were people on that plane, like in real life.

Speaker 2:
[11:00] The pilot was drunk. That's the truth.

Speaker 1:
[11:03] And just, and also Ice Cube, it took me a minute because I'm like, is he on a green screen?

Speaker 2:
[11:08] He is, I think.

Speaker 1:
[11:09] So the walls on the side are real, but the back is a green screen. And that's why it looks so weird. And the other bizarre thing about that is, often you can see like a reflection in his glasses. And sometimes it's just kind of a vague picture of a screen. But a lot of the time, it's a green screen, which they then had to digitally remove. But my question is, why is there a green screen in front of him?

Speaker 2:
[11:33] No, man.

Speaker 1:
[11:33] What would be the purpose of that? Did he just put it there? Because he was on his own, obviously.

Speaker 2:
[11:38] Oh, you're saying within the context of the, in the context of the narrative?

Speaker 1:
[11:42] In the narrative and in real life, why would he need a green screen in front of him? Because you just put a blank white screen, right? Because then you get a screen reflection, but you can't see specifically what it is. Am I, am I, is this anything?

Speaker 2:
[11:55] I think you're overthinking a stupid movie, quite frankly.

Speaker 1:
[12:00] I am. And the other thing about this stupid movie is, you might be like, well, it was released on Amazon, and there's a whole section in this movie, which is just an ad for Amazon.

Speaker 2:
[12:09] It's not just a whole section, it's the finale of the movie. It's the big action finale after we've been emotionally invested in these characters. It's like, how are they gonna get out of these wacky situations? Well, they're gonna use incredible Amazon products.

Speaker 1:
[12:22] But here's the thing, and this came as a shock to me, and I hope to you and all those listening, this was originally going to be theatrically distributed by Universal, and then Amazon acquired it.

Speaker 2:
[12:35] How are we gonna get out of this situation? Let's get the Wolfman in. Universal. If only the creature from the Black Lagoon could help, because he's free for us.

Speaker 1:
[12:46] So all that Amazon shit, and the daughter's boyfriend being an Amazon employee, and flying an Amazon drone, and delivering an Amazon USB, all of which are-

Speaker 2:
[12:55] And paying off a homeless man with an Amazon gift card.

Speaker 1:
[12:58] That's not an ad for Amazon. That was already in the movie. No. Not yes.

Speaker 2:
[13:03] Whoa. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[13:04] And Amazon were like, yeah, all right. Did they trick Amazon into buying this? Because that's what it feels like.

Speaker 2:
[13:10] Maybe they were like, do we already own this? Because you can sort of put anything on Amazon Prime, it turns out, like video-wise.

Speaker 1:
[13:16] Apparently, yeah. So that's fascinating to me. And it's also interesting from the perspective of like, this is like an anti-product placement movie. Like you see a Tesla getting hacked, or you see like a Fox News doing at the end of the world. You look at that stuff and you go, this shit sucks actually. Like it's not a thing that, I think it would make people look at this and go, well, a Tesla can be hacked by the government.

Speaker 2:
[13:38] Yeah, because there's a point where Ice Cube's daughter needs a ride somewhere, but he can't leave because his glass door has been locked.

Speaker 1:
[13:44] And he's maybe paraplegic. He was written to be a paraplegic.

Speaker 2:
[13:47] Exactly. But then, so then he's like, get to this Tesla and I'll hack it using my Tesla hacking computer, and then I'll autopilot it to where you need to go, or whatever. And it's like, you'd be like, I don't want to buy a car that could be hacked by...

Speaker 1:
[14:01] The Ice Cube?

Speaker 2:
[14:01] Like Ice Cube, or any other government lunatic, you know, with malicious intent.

Speaker 1:
[14:08] That's wild, because also when she's in the car, and this isn't really related to the idea that you could use that.

Speaker 2:
[14:12] He keeps going, stay calm! Stay calm! That's what you want, you want an enraged Ice Cube screaming at you to stay calm, after you've been shot through the femur with a piece of rebar. Incredible.

Speaker 1:
[14:27] He's trying to talk her through it, and she's like, you don't have the power to save anybody. But it's like, well, kind of, because he just put you in a car and was driving you to a hospital or whatever while you're pregnant and bleeding out. I think he kind of does in this situation. I think-

Speaker 2:
[14:42] You've really turned around on Ice Cube.

Speaker 1:
[14:43] No, I'm just saying-

Speaker 2:
[14:44] You've really turned around on security terrorist systems analyst, William Radford.

Speaker 1:
[14:48] I just think it's a bad time to make that case.

Speaker 2:
[14:50] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[14:51] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[14:51] Well, yeah, because nobody has a consistent character in this at all.

Speaker 1:
[14:54] No, absolutely. There's another note here that just says, they say, initiate this war of the worlds. I don't think we've had that in any other movies or maybe we have, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[15:03] Then the CNN or whatever is like, and we're calling it a war of the worlds.

Speaker 1:
[15:08] Like the book? Like the Tom Cruise movie.

Speaker 2:
[15:11] Nobody in this movie has seen or read the book. Nobody in this movie has read a book, honestly.

Speaker 1:
[15:16] But the reason why this is happening, and Ice Cube's son actually has the answer to this, because Ice Cube's son, he's not just a guy who's flying around in video games, is he?

Speaker 2:
[15:24] No.

Speaker 1:
[15:24] He's got a special secret.

Speaker 2:
[15:26] He's Disruptor.

Speaker 1:
[15:27] Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2:
[15:28] He's one of the Disruptors.

Speaker 1:
[15:29] Yeah, all the other ones get killed in drone strikes or whatever. So don't worry about that.

Speaker 2:
[15:32] They're not the main characters, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1:
[15:34] So he's like, no, what's happened is there's this system, it's above you, Ice Cube, and it's called Goliath, and it's collecting data.

Speaker 2:
[15:41] Nice.

Speaker 1:
[15:42] And maybe it's got something to do with the aliens turning up, and Ice Cube's like, there's no way, man, there's no way the government would do that.

Speaker 2:
[15:47] How would you know? You're my stupid son. I'm the smart one in this family. You're just stupid.

Speaker 1:
[15:52] It's wild also that you work for the government, and you can see everybody, and you're looking at shit all day, and you're like, no way, man. What do you mean, no way?

Speaker 2:
[16:02] Well, he's not looking at anything important. If he looked on his own computer, he'd probably see all these Goliath files, but he's not. He's just surveilling his children.

Speaker 1:
[16:12] Unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[16:13] And putting them in a naughty list of some sort.

Speaker 1:
[16:15] Yeah, but there's a further twist to that. Bill Coulson is in this.

Speaker 2:
[16:19] Clark and Gregg.

Speaker 1:
[16:20] He's like, remember me, I'm Agent Clark Gregg. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[16:23] And in some of these opening sequence, he's just sitting and staring.

Speaker 1:
[16:27] Probably in his house.

Speaker 2:
[16:27] They don't really give him any dialogue. So this is this three-way call between, I think, him and Eva Longoria in Ice Cube, but he's just kind of like drinking from a water bottle and going, hmm. There's also a moment where he sends a text that says, emergency Zoom meeting now. Now!

Speaker 1:
[16:42] That's the worst kind of text you can get.

Speaker 2:
[16:44] Right? No, I think I'll die. I think I'll die in a War of the Worlds Martian Evasion, thanks. I guess that's why they all had to be kind of boomerish in this movie.

Speaker 1:
[16:54] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[16:54] Because most of the people would be like, I'm not taking a sip.

Speaker 1:
[16:56] I'm not picking that up.

Speaker 2:
[16:57] I'm picking that up. It's irrelevant to me.

Speaker 1:
[16:59] Let the laser hit me.

Speaker 2:
[17:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[17:00] So he did it. So the reason the aliens are coming, because they crashed in the 40s or whatever, Area 51 shit.

Speaker 2:
[17:07] And they're not here for resources. They're here for data. Because they eat the data, or it makes them stronger or something, because they're half cyber, but they're half biological, and they eat data.

Speaker 1:
[17:18] Well, yeah, they might. Also, we never see them, do we?

Speaker 2:
[17:21] No.

Speaker 1:
[17:21] They never get out of their ships. There's little spiders, and maybe that's them, but I don't think so.

Speaker 2:
[17:25] But also, what's the difference between eating data and eating like-

Speaker 1:
[17:29] Data.

Speaker 2:
[17:30] Data. But also just eating electricity.

Speaker 1:
[17:33] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[17:33] Because that's what it is. Is it important that it's state secrets and Amazon gift card information or whatever? Can't it just be random stuff?

Speaker 1:
[17:41] Well, yeah, that's a great question because at one point, it eats the data off Ice Cube's Facebook page and he loses all the- He's got a dead wife.

Speaker 2:
[17:50] All these fresh men.

Speaker 1:
[17:50] All these fresh men. But honestly, if somebody wiped out my Facebook, I'll be like, thank God.

Speaker 2:
[17:54] Right.

Speaker 1:
[17:55] Now, I don't have to think about this.

Speaker 2:
[17:56] Yeah, I think if I was locked-

Speaker 1:
[17:57] Because I'm like, I should get my photos of this and whatever, and then I never do, and I never look at it.

Speaker 2:
[18:02] Yeah. I think if I was locked out of all my social media accounts forever, that would be a load off my mind. I wouldn't wake up in the morning just immediately looking at all the news and going, oh, life's awful, and ruining my brain for the rest of the day. You know what I mean? I'd just wake up and I'd look at a sunrise.

Speaker 1:
[18:20] Fuck, man. So anyway, Phil Coulson set this up and when he turned on Goliath, that's when the aliens came.

Speaker 2:
[18:26] Because he knew that this was a possible outcome, that the aliens would return because they'd see all the datums.

Speaker 1:
[18:31] And after they're shooting everybody and they're doing a War of the Worlds, he's like, it's worth it. And it's that Resident Evil thing of the movies. Where it's like, yeah, but you've unleashed this thing on the world, which is like collapse society.

Speaker 2:
[18:43] What do you mean? Well, I can look at everybody's Amazon wishlist, can't I? I can look at all their secret desires that they haven't bought yet.

Speaker 1:
[18:52] God, horrible. So they need to fight back. And I thought you'd like this because as opposed to other, I thought you'd like this.

Speaker 2:
[18:58] Oh yeah, thanks, man.

Speaker 1:
[18:59] That's what I think of you. I thought you'd like this.

Speaker 2:
[19:02] Thanks, man.

Speaker 1:
[19:03] Is that they do it Independence Day style.

Speaker 2:
[19:06] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[19:06] They take an active response. So they use the son's knowledge of being disruptor.

Speaker 2:
[19:13] But also, also, also his skills at being a video game player.

Speaker 1:
[19:18] Oh, and also his daughter has DNA molecule science.

Speaker 2:
[19:23] She's a science lady, which Ice Cube doesn't respect.

Speaker 1:
[19:28] DNA code alteration, that's it.

Speaker 2:
[19:30] Oh yeah, there's a big scene where like, they all have to get together. And Ice Cube's like, how do we do that? And she's like, well, I'll just make a DNA virus. Can you get, can you have some security guys? Like, can we just get them, can we just undo their DNA? Yes, but we need a DNA virus for that. Okay, good.

Speaker 1:
[19:51] Can we ask Disruptor? No, we can ask Disruptor's sister. Yeah. Oh, it's so funny also. I forgot to mention this, but when the other Disruptors die in those stock explosions, it's just footage of them and it's like, and then they're just, just gone. Also the thing about these aliens are, normally their ships are impenetrable. They can withstand nuclear blasts or whatever missiles and et cetera. You can just knock these ones over.

Speaker 2:
[20:18] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[20:19] And they do not take advantage of that at all. And they're like, oh, the other ones are distractions. But you know what are the real ones? The ones that go into the data centers and they've got a big cord and they plug into the data centers. You didn't notice that, right? Like the ones that are actually doing things.

Speaker 2:
[20:34] Cut the cord. Buy a big pair of novelty scissors from Amazon.

Speaker 1:
[20:38] That's right.

Speaker 2:
[20:38] Cut the cord.

Speaker 1:
[20:40] So yeah, you got they got to put they put the DNA code on a thumb drive.

Speaker 2:
[20:44] Who are you going to get a thumb drive? Who are you going to get a little consumer product? Who are you going to get one conveniently and quickly? Free shipping. Where are you going to get it? Where are you going to get that, James?

Speaker 1:
[20:55] That would be funny if they charged for shipping. Yeah. They're like, no, no, no, the world can't be saved because.

Speaker 2:
[20:59] 30 bucks for same day shipping. I don't think so. Don't worry about it. Forget it.

Speaker 1:
[21:07] So these are primary drone to fly to. As you mentioned, it does crash and they get a man in an encampment to flip it over and they incentivize him by giving him a. Also, like if the world is ending it and someone's like, yeah, but you get a hundred bucks. I'd be like, I don't think this is gonna even work.

Speaker 2:
[21:23] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[21:24] Like I'm not doing this for a hundred bucks or any bucks.

Speaker 2:
[21:26] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[21:27] It's pointless.

Speaker 2:
[21:27] Give me a stack of bottle caps. The new currency.

Speaker 1:
[21:29] Hell yeah.

Speaker 2:
[21:30] It's in this post-apocalyptic world.

Speaker 1:
[21:33] Yeah. So the finale is Ice Cube Wrestling with CGI tentacles.

Speaker 2:
[21:37] Sure.

Speaker 1:
[21:38] And he dies.

Speaker 2:
[21:40] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[21:40] I think he dies.

Speaker 2:
[21:41] So before that, he writes a heartfelt letter to his children. That's like being a dad's heart actually.

Speaker 1:
[21:47] What's also crazy about that letter is he puts it on a delay, which also assumes that he's going to pull this off. Yes. Because if he didn't, that email wouldn't have been sent.

Speaker 2:
[21:57] That's true. Cause they would, in fact, the aliens probably would have it.

Speaker 1:
[22:00] They'd be like, yum, yum, yum. We love this.

Speaker 2:
[22:01] They'd be like, yum, yum, yum. Ooh, maybe I should be a better dad or a better son. Martian son, Martian dad. They learned.

Speaker 1:
[22:09] Yeah, whatever we look like or reproduce. Anyway, so, so anyway, Ice Cube's alive. And at the end, the president's like, we want you to collect more data for the president and for society. And he's like, I don't want to be the government now. I'm against the government, which means they'd just kill him.

Speaker 2:
[22:24] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[22:26] He would be drone struck.

Speaker 2:
[22:27] Also, they would just remove his admin access and then he wouldn't have, you know, he wouldn't be able to use his pre-programmed like little government programs and stuff. You know, now he's just an angry dad. How's he going to look at the government through the newspaper? Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[22:43] What are you talking about?

Speaker 2:
[22:44] Ridiculous.

Speaker 1:
[22:45] Dude. But I guess, again, to, I was going to say this movie's credit, but that's not it. It's interesting in the sense that the aliens at the end, they don't just die. They make them die using data and DNA viruses or whatever. But it's also, you never, and it's definitely a budgetary thing because this movie looks terrible. You don't see the aliens. Nope. The ships just stop and then everybody just goes to work, I guess. I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[23:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[23:12] Or quits their job or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[23:14] Or gets a new job at an Amazon warehouse.

Speaker 1:
[23:16] Yeah. And I've written here, at least it's short, but it's not, is it?

Speaker 2:
[23:19] As you mentioned. It's 90 minutes, but it feels like.

Speaker 1:
[23:22] Dense.

Speaker 2:
[23:23] It is dense.

Speaker 1:
[23:24] Like a dying star.

Speaker 2:
[23:25] What's also interesting about it, I think, is that they often talk about now, you know, in Netflix, a lot of streaming services, movies and TV shows, they make a point to have all the characters say in dialogue what is happening on the screen, just in case you're not paying attention. There is so much of this movie where it's just silence, but like click, click, mouse, click, click, click, type, type, type, click, click, click.

Speaker 1:
[23:47] Tap, tap, tap.

Speaker 2:
[23:48] So, you know, to its credit, it respects its audience. It respects we're paying attention. We've been drawn into the beautiful narrative.

Speaker 1:
[23:53] It's true. Anyway, it's time for Trivia Of The War.

Speaker 2:
[23:56] Oh, yes.

Speaker 1:
[23:56] It's got one piece. It's nothing. The producer on this, Patrick Aiello. There's a great interview, actually. I'll bring it up.

Speaker 2:
[24:03] This is one of you. Tappity, tapp.

Speaker 1:
[24:05] What are you?

Speaker 2:
[24:05] What are you, Ice Cube? Tappity, tapp.

Speaker 1:
[24:07] A lot of people are just being like, this is the worst movie, bad movie, bad movie. Yeah, Tony's Film Club interviewed him. I'd recommend checking that out. It talks to him and an editor about like what went on behind this. And it's funny because they were like, they didn't set out to make a bad movie. It was hampered for a number of reasons. And then you get something that ends up like this. It is one of those situations like The Room, where it's like, you couldn't do this on purpose.

Speaker 2:
[24:31] Yeah, absolutely. But also I think the other thing that's hampered in it is, well, it's got people you know in it. I think if this was a movie that it was just, you know, the cast was just nobodies.

Speaker 1:
[24:42] And you couldn't get that Ice Cube thumbnail.

Speaker 2:
[24:44] Right. Where he's like, whoa, whoa. You'd be like, oh, I see, this is a, or, and it was made for like five bucks. You'd be like, oh, I see, this is, you know, it's kind of dumb, but what a fun concept. But I think it's the fact that it's got known people in it, that it's like, what were any of you thinking? But also, I guess you don't know. Like if you're, if you're in isolation-

Speaker 1:
[25:06] Filming this, what would you know?

Speaker 2:
[25:08] You'd be in isolation, you'd be going mad, like everybody else was doing. And they'd be like, here's your part of the script, and we're gonna make it look real good with the special effects, and it's all gonna make sense. And you'd be like, I guess, I have faith in the filmmakers.

Speaker 1:
[25:22] Well, yeah, because I feel like there is a good idea in this, of a War of the Worlds through the computer.

Speaker 2:
[25:28] Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[25:29] It's not this version of it. Anyway.

Speaker 2:
[25:31] War of the PC World. Oh, that's good. Magazine. Magazine.

Speaker 1:
[25:35] 1997 or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[25:37] Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1:
[25:38] Yeah. Yeah, anyway, the producer, he thought it'd be better received because people had been experiencing living their life on Zoom. But as we mentioned or alluded to earlier, I fucking hate Zoom. If I never have to be on a video call ever again, it will be too soon. If it's not my kids, you can not get me on a video call. Just try it.

Speaker 2:
[25:57] Also, the idea of like, well, people are used to being on Zoom, so they're going to love this. No, we're not. And also the idea of like, well, people were in lockdown, so they're going to like this. No, it's too soon. Maybe in 10 years, people will be like, we'll sort of romanticize the idea of whatever happened.

Speaker 1:
[26:14] You know, making bread.

Speaker 2:
[26:15] Yeah, making bread, doing a sourdough starter or whatever, based on with a little help from amazon.com. But the idea of like, just, you know, it's still in people's current memories, and to be like, what about this? Oh, bad. Awful.

Speaker 1:
[26:31] Bad and shit.

Speaker 2:
[26:32] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:32] Yeah. Anyways, the box office for this on a budget of $10 million.

Speaker 2:
[26:37] All right. Too much, probably.

Speaker 1:
[26:38] Went to the stars, right?

Speaker 2:
[26:39] You'd hope so, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:40] Yeah. It didn't go to...

Speaker 2:
[26:41] You mean it went to the stars. They shot it out of a cannon into space.

Speaker 1:
[26:44] Feels that way. It didn't obviously release theatrically, but it was a success in the sense that it was the number one most watched movie worldwide on Amazon in the first seven days, and it stayed in the charts for quite a while.

Speaker 2:
[26:56] Numbers don't lie.

Speaker 1:
[26:56] But I still, I don't think if you didn't have Amazon, that you would have got Amazon for this. I think, yeah, you probably had people watching it, I guess. But also, if I had have started this not for this show, mate, gun to my head, I couldn't have fucking watched this. I'm not being, I'm not doing-

Speaker 2:
[27:12] It's not a novel. You don't have to have a gun to your head the whole time while you're reading it.

Speaker 1:
[27:16] You know how I do good jokes.

Speaker 2:
[27:17] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[27:18] But it's a hard watch.

Speaker 2:
[27:20] Yeah. Agreed.

Speaker 1:
[27:21] It's tough, and it's frantic and boring and-

Speaker 2:
[27:26] Everybody's being yelled at. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:29] And everyone's unlikable.

Speaker 2:
[27:30] Now, we recently watched the movie Hail, the movie Project Hail Mary.

Speaker 1:
[27:35] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[27:35] Which is about a man calmly solving problems. Do you think maybe that's part of this-

Speaker 1:
[27:41] Yeah, maybe if he just, you know, pulled it, you know, just stepped back for a second, you know?

Speaker 2:
[27:45] Nobody's chilling this.

Speaker 1:
[27:46] No one's chilling, man. You gotta chill out. Yeah. Anyways, this has been Three War of the Worlds movies.

Speaker 2:
[27:51] Hell yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:52] Do you like that?

Speaker 2:
[27:53] No. Ultimately, no. Not worth it.

Speaker 1:
[27:57] Well, maybe you'll like this. His hint towards next week. It's original first X-Men, Mason.

Speaker 2:
[28:02] Original X-Men? So we're gonna do X-Men and then X-Men 2? Yes, we've already done three. We've already done three.

Speaker 1:
[28:07] Maybe I'll repackage three. Just be like, this is a re-

Speaker 2:
[28:10] Nice, re-upload. Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1:
[28:11] Whatever.

Speaker 2:
[28:12] Remastered. We could say we remastered it.

Speaker 1:
[28:14] Who's gonna stop us? Who's gonna stop us? Nobody's gonna stop us.

Speaker 2:
[28:16] No, that's right.

Speaker 1:
[28:17] You can actually see that early at bigsandwich.co, but that's not the only thing there. We do video game, let's plays.

Speaker 2:
[28:23] We do movie commentaries.

Speaker 1:
[28:24] Movie commentaries we do. We've got one on Independence Day and a bunch of others. We got so many. We do bonus podcasts. Also, we have a podcast that's called The Weekly Planet, where we talk movies and comics and TV shows. It's on its own YouTube channel, Spotify, et cetera. I guess the reason that we looked at any of these because Spielberg is doing Alien Movie again.

Speaker 2:
[28:41] That's right. He's back with Alien Movie.

Speaker 1:
[28:43] So that's what we'll be talking about.

Speaker 2:
[28:45] It's very exciting.

Speaker 1:
[28:46] Thank you so much to Ben for the edit.

Speaker 2:
[28:48] Thank you, Ben.

Speaker 1:
[28:48] Thank you so much to Lawrence for the edit.

Speaker 2:
[28:50] Thank you, Lawrence.

Speaker 1:
[28:51] And we have to, I don't know, man. Oh yeah, we're gonna die?

Speaker 2:
[28:55] I think we're gonna die after this, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[28:58] We promised it in the first act, so.

Speaker 1:
[28:59] True. So anything released from now, we recorded before our deaths.

Speaker 2:
[29:03] Yep. Ooh, our Amazon package has arrived. Two guns. Well, bye everyone. Bye. Bye forever.