transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] So good, so good, so good.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 3:
[00:12] How did I not know Rack has Adidas?

Speaker 2:
[00:14] Why do we Rack?

Speaker 4:
[00:15] For the hottest deals.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
[00:30] Kayak gets my flight, hotel, and rental car right, so I can tune out travel advice that's just plain wrong.

Speaker 4:
[00:37] Bro, Skycoin, way better than points.

Speaker 5:
[00:40] Never fly during a Scorpio full moon.

Speaker 1:
[00:43] Just tell the manager you'll sue. Instant room upgrade. Stop taking bad travel advice. Start comparing hundreds of sites with Kayak and get your trip right. Bad advice?

Speaker 4:
[00:55] You talking to me?

Speaker 1:
[00:56] Kayak, got that right.

Speaker 5:
[01:00] All right, well, these cameras are on?

Speaker 1:
[01:03] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[01:04] They don't look like they're on.

Speaker 4:
[01:06] I don't know what to tell you. They're on.

Speaker 6:
[01:08] OK. It's just sometimes we do episodes and then we finish them and you go, I wasn't recording. And we go, OK.

Speaker 5:
[01:14] See.

Speaker 4:
[01:14] Confirmed, we have been recording for one minute and 30 seconds.

Speaker 6:
[01:17] OK. All right.

Speaker 5:
[01:19] All right. And the camera that's pointed the opposite way, is that one on?

Speaker 4:
[01:23] Yeah, it's on, but it's not on you.

Speaker 5:
[01:26] Cool.

Speaker 6:
[01:26] Cool. That could be fun to cut to, though, if I do the pod from over there.

Speaker 5:
[01:30] Would you mind pulling me up a little?

Speaker 6:
[01:32] What? No.

Speaker 5:
[01:33] Why not?

Speaker 6:
[01:34] It's my soda Emily bought me for my birthday.

Speaker 5:
[01:36] To share a little bit.

Speaker 6:
[01:38] But they're my toys, my toys and treats.

Speaker 5:
[01:41] But I'm your friend and I'm thirsty.

Speaker 6:
[01:42] You're not my friend.

Speaker 5:
[01:43] I'm thirsty.

Speaker 6:
[01:44] You're not my friend. We do a podcast together.

Speaker 5:
[01:46] I'm thirsty.

Speaker 6:
[01:47] I don't. I will. I don't know how to do this, though. I forgot.

Speaker 5:
[01:51] Nice. What happened? It spilled?

Speaker 6:
[01:57] Emily needed a wet napkin.

Speaker 5:
[01:58] You're going to panic like a toddler and dump the whole thing. Hell yeah. Yeah. Listen to that audio. That's good.

Speaker 6:
[02:10] Is this wet? All right. So that's good. I just gave Liam half of my birthday treat. So I can't wait to see what I get when it's your birthday. I literally can't wait to see what gift I get when you turn, what is it, 28?

Speaker 5:
[02:26] 28. I'll be 28 next. I forget what's, it's one of the new months. Next, I believe it's next stomp.

Speaker 6:
[02:38] September. Well, we just had this conversation like two weeks ago by your birthday and I don't remember.

Speaker 5:
[02:46] All right. Mr. Joe Cool over here.

Speaker 6:
[02:50] Yeah, I got my beach wind swept hair. I got my six shades. I think this episode, I'm just going to, that was nice. I think if you don't mind, I'm going to take a backseat in this episode.

Speaker 5:
[03:03] Okay.

Speaker 6:
[03:04] I'm really curious to see how you podcast. I want to pay more attention to the way you tackle this whole thing, the way you tackle this whole mess and where you see your niche fitting in, in this kind of oversaturated industry. I'm actually quite curious. So I'll be taking notes. These are meta glasses. I'm recording this and I'm going to go home and I'm going to put this into my VR headset and I'm going to rewatch it and relive this moment. And who knows, maybe I already am at home.

Speaker 5:
[03:38] Well, here's the problem is I was just thinking of trunking it this episode.

Speaker 6:
[03:41] What that mean?

Speaker 5:
[03:43] What's further than the backseat?

Speaker 6:
[03:45] Oh, trunking.

Speaker 5:
[03:46] I'm trunking it. So while you're watching me, oops, that's a test dummy. That's one of the speed crash dummies that they just throw in the car. I'm actually in the trunk watching you through a periscope that I've drilled out. I'm watching you through the rear windshield.

Speaker 6:
[04:01] Now, if I may, maybe I'm in the trailer in the back.

Speaker 5:
[04:07] Could be.

Speaker 6:
[04:07] But one of the open trailers where like you see the lawnmower, you see all the leaf blower, you see all the equipment just kind of bouncing up and down. I'm in the back, they're buried under the equipment.

Speaker 5:
[04:18] Okay, fair enough.

Speaker 6:
[04:19] And what's further back than that?

Speaker 5:
[04:20] What's further back than that?

Speaker 6:
[04:22] You're in the car following. You're in the trunk of the car following the car.

Speaker 5:
[04:25] That's what I was going to say. I have the lead car, so when you think you've lost the car that's following you, you're supposed to see that one, and you're supposed to think that you've dipped it. But really, no, I'm in a red Corolla, three cars back. I already know where you're going, so I don't even need to stay close to you. For me, I'm waiting at the destination by the time you get there. I'm already where you're going, actually, now that I think about it.

Speaker 6:
[04:51] Whoa. Emily, why is this TV not on?

Speaker 4:
[04:55] I'm working on it, unless you want to pause, because Sean just called me and he wants to fix it.

Speaker 5:
[04:59] No, that's all right. Well, he's welcome to, we'll fix it live on the little live mechanic.

Speaker 6:
[05:05] People get to see what's under the hood. People get to see behind the curtain. It's not as majestic as Oz as you might think. I mean, everyone has seen that film, The Wizard of Oz. It's actually a guy behind a curtain pulling on ropes, pull his levers and some sort of instrument he's tickling away at. It's not as interesting as you might think. It really, show business is kind of a funny thing because it's a projection, it's this kind of manufactured performance we put on behind the scenes, it's a mess.

Speaker 5:
[05:40] Sometimes you lift up the dress of the princess expecting a beautiful pussy, and it's just the belly of the beast under there.

Speaker 6:
[05:48] Yeah. That's really nice, man, that you said that. That's a really cool thing.

Speaker 5:
[05:53] Because you were saying.

Speaker 6:
[05:54] That's a really cool thing you just shared with everyone that you thought.

Speaker 5:
[05:58] Well, you were telling me the other day that you sometimes you-

Speaker 6:
[06:03] I can't wait to hear this.

Speaker 5:
[06:04] Well, what you said to me was, dude, sometimes you lift up the dress of a beautiful princess, expecting to see the beautiful pussy of the princess. But nope, it's just the belly of the beast.

Speaker 6:
[06:12] Oh, now that- oh, okay. I do remember.

Speaker 5:
[06:14] Remember you said that?

Speaker 6:
[06:15] I do remember. I came into your room this morning and said that.

Speaker 5:
[06:17] Then I went, no, dude, I like the way that sounds.

Speaker 6:
[06:21] I woke up at 3 AM, I heard you puking in your bathroom, and I opened the door, and you were completely naked. I think I came in and I whispered that.

Speaker 5:
[06:30] I was naked and I was trying to get zip ties off me. I had tightened them to the point, you know how to get zip ties off, right? You tighten them as much as you can, and you're going to want to write all this down, and you just take it and you try and get it off. So I was naked at 3 AM, just puking in between thrusts, trying to get these zip ties off me. I got them, I got them off.

Speaker 6:
[06:49] You got them off.

Speaker 5:
[06:51] Put another pair on, went back to training. That's what I did last night. What'd you do?

Speaker 6:
[06:59] Me, I worked, we have a busy schedule coming up because we were doing a live show in Irvine on April 30th. And then our Netflix is the Joke live show is May 5th. So I was-

Speaker 5:
[07:09] Netflix is a joke, not Netflix is the joke.

Speaker 6:
[07:12] I said a joke.

Speaker 5:
[07:13] You said the.

Speaker 6:
[07:15] I don't know if I did, but if I did, I apologize.

Speaker 5:
[07:18] You did.

Speaker 6:
[07:18] I know it's not the joke.

Speaker 5:
[07:20] Netflix is a joke.

Speaker 6:
[07:21] No, I know, but I, interesting. Anyway, I might've said that. I didn't mean that though. Would it be all right if we moved forward for?

Speaker 5:
[07:29] Sure, we can try.

Speaker 6:
[07:30] We can try. But I was, I spent my Sunday working on the YouTube video that we are trying to finish and film this week and potentially play early at the Netflix is a Joke show. Potentially, we don't know yet, so don't expect a video going in. But it was a busy Sunday for me. I was working. But I would say about an hour and a half after you left, I wrapped up and I continued reading the second book of the First Law trilogy. I've been quite a high fantasy deep dive as it were. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[08:13] You got to read Lawnmower Man.

Speaker 6:
[08:15] Yeah, I will.

Speaker 5:
[08:17] Can I just spoil it for you?

Speaker 6:
[08:18] I actually, I would prefer you didn't because I do want to read it after what you and Strider said.

Speaker 5:
[08:23] Yeah, everyone go read Lawnmower Man.

Speaker 6:
[08:25] Let's watch the trailer for the movie.

Speaker 5:
[08:27] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[08:28] I know it has nothing to do with the short story.

Speaker 5:
[08:30] We should absolutely watch the trailer for Lawnmower Man.

Speaker 6:
[08:32] You should, well, let's watch the trailer and then you tell the story about what Stephen King said. I thought that phone call was so funny.

Speaker 5:
[08:39] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[08:40] We can pause and get Sean in here. Okay. So we're taking a pause right now.

Speaker 5:
[08:45] Yeah, this doesn't count for the episode.

Speaker 6:
[08:46] Emily, God bless her. And I mean this. I genuinely mean this when I say this. This pod is nothing without Emily.

Speaker 5:
[08:56] Couldn't agree more.

Speaker 6:
[08:57] I couldn't agree more with myself.

Speaker 5:
[08:59] But this is all about-

Speaker 6:
[09:00] Think she's a cornerstone of the pod.

Speaker 5:
[09:02] But here's the problem.

Speaker 6:
[09:02] I don't think I would do this podcast without Emily, but watching her fumble around with this equipment for three years, it's crazy.

Speaker 5:
[09:16] It's that scene in Harry Potter where they're trapped in the vines that are going over them and they're like, you have to relax to get through and she's wrong, just spazzing out, she can't relax.

Speaker 6:
[09:28] It'll be like she can't turn the volume up on the TV. And we'll go, hey, Emily, we can't turn the volume up. And she'll a second later be on the phone, Sean, Sean, come here. And Sean's at lunch. So we have to wait for Sean to come. And then Sean, and we go, Sean, we go, Emily, you really should know how to do this. And she goes, no, we pay someone to know how to do this. And then Sean gets here and he grabs the remote and he goes, there's no batteries in it, Emily. And then that's kind of a...

Speaker 5:
[10:00] And then Emily touches it and it turns into a snake.

Speaker 6:
[10:02] Yes. This is fucking crazy.

Speaker 5:
[10:06] She's locking her up going, what?

Speaker 6:
[10:10] What?

Speaker 5:
[10:13] By the way, the problem is right now is that we just can't turn the TV on. Oh, she's unplugging stuff. This is good. Emily's unplugging stuff and plugging it in. Emily's unplugging stuff and plugging it in. It's on. I chalk that up to the song, the little jingle I just made.

Speaker 4:
[10:33] Would you mind telling them how smart and technologically smart I am?

Speaker 7:
[10:39] Emily Binder is the third most technically smart producer that we have.

Speaker 5:
[10:46] Top three.

Speaker 4:
[10:47] I made it to the top three.

Speaker 7:
[10:49] At a scale of one to ten, she's at least like a 7.2.

Speaker 4:
[10:55] Compared to the rest of the producers.

Speaker 6:
[10:57] Say that.

Speaker 4:
[10:59] Calking.

Speaker 6:
[11:00] Say that.

Speaker 4:
[11:01] Thanks, Sean.

Speaker 6:
[11:05] It makes me laugh so hard every time, Emily, and I don't blame you.

Speaker 4:
[11:09] All I have to say to that is yes, it makes me insecure that I'm that way. However, my...

Speaker 6:
[11:18] Well, you shouldn't be insecure about it.

Speaker 5:
[11:20] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[11:20] Oh, that way. I've explained this a million fucking times on this podcast, but my role as a producer, I flourish in content and growth of podcasts and development.

Speaker 6:
[11:36] Okay, I'll give you this. I think it's only funny to me because when we started this pod, this company was such a bootstrap operation where everyone had to do a bunch of different things. And sometimes we'll go on other people's pods and there will be like five people in the room and I'm like, this is just one Emily to us. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5:
[11:59] Well, they're a hive mind. Those are just mimics.

Speaker 6:
[12:02] I know.

Speaker 5:
[12:03] It's all one guy technically, but there's just like three or four mimics.

Speaker 6:
[12:05] Well, I guess what I'm saying is I'm old school thinking, and there's this new school podcast game that us older cats can't really keep up with. So Emily, I think that you already do more than you should.

Speaker 4:
[12:20] I wear many hats.

Speaker 6:
[12:22] You wear many hats, and some people on this pod think we're joking because on the cameras we play it up. Behind the scenes, you do a great job. So I just want to say thank you.

Speaker 5:
[12:30] You're like the cat in the hat, just the agent of chaos back there.

Speaker 6:
[12:35] Agent of chaos, I do like that.

Speaker 1:
[12:37] Thank you.

Speaker 6:
[12:38] I'm like the guy with the clock that's running around being like, we're out of time.

Speaker 1:
[12:42] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5:
[12:46] You are.

Speaker 6:
[12:48] I feel like that guy. I feel like every time I burst in.

Speaker 5:
[12:51] I'm running around, but actually, I'm flying on a key that has butterfly wings, but it's a key.

Speaker 6:
[12:57] So it's Harry Potter. Yeah. We're doing some genre blending.

Speaker 5:
[13:01] Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 4:
[13:02] Okay, so one final comment on this note. I could figure out the TV situation, but it would take me a little bit of time, and because I just got back from my doctor's appointment, I didn't have time to set up prior. So I said you guys should start, and then-

Speaker 5:
[13:16] Emily, I am so sorry. I did not know you had a doctor's appointment today. Is everything okay?

Speaker 4:
[13:24] Oh yeah, it was just my therapy.

Speaker 5:
[13:26] Oh, is there a therapist?

Speaker 4:
[13:27] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[13:27] Oh, how did it go?

Speaker 4:
[13:29] Great, she's great.

Speaker 6:
[13:30] How long have you been going to therapy now?

Speaker 4:
[13:33] Maybe since like December.

Speaker 6:
[13:34] Have you been enjoying it?

Speaker 4:
[13:37] Sometimes, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[13:38] I don't think you're supposed to enjoy it every time.

Speaker 4:
[13:40] Yeah, I do, I do though. She's like very smart.

Speaker 6:
[13:43] What if she did therapy for me and Liam? Like we just started telling you stuff that was wrong with our life, and you carve out the last 10 minutes of your therapy to be like, Liam's going through this, Will's going through this, what should they do?

Speaker 5:
[13:55] A little game of telephone, but for therapy.

Speaker 4:
[13:56] Yeah, I mean, you would just have to contribute to the cost.

Speaker 5:
[13:59] How much does that cost? How many, what are you paying in these days? What form of money do you use?

Speaker 6:
[14:04] I think her therapist is part of the tribe, so it's just...

Speaker 5:
[14:08] Straight, oh, she's straight?

Speaker 6:
[14:09] It's just free. Sick.

Speaker 4:
[14:11] Exactly. No, you can either get a therapist or insurance or not, but the ones who are in insurance aren't always as great, so I just like submit it to insurance and hopefully I pray that I get a percentage back.

Speaker 6:
[14:24] I did that last year and my therapist kept telling me, you will get your money back and then they denied it, and I was like, all right. I was like $2,000 more than I expected. Jesus. Well, that was over the course of months. So I was like, bye, and I stopped going.

Speaker 4:
[14:45] Oh, so you're done?

Speaker 6:
[14:46] So much money. Yeah, because my insurance denied every claim.

Speaker 1:
[14:53] That's what happened to me.

Speaker 6:
[14:54] I won't get into it. I went through many steps, and I was led to believe that there would be some compensation.

Speaker 5:
[15:03] I'm the strong, silent type, so I've never been.

Speaker 6:
[15:06] Right.

Speaker 5:
[15:07] Yeah. I'm one of the old school strong, silent types. Me and my Italian wife, we don't need to go.

Speaker 6:
[15:13] Right.

Speaker 5:
[15:14] I'm fine.

Speaker 6:
[15:15] What do you do instead?

Speaker 5:
[15:17] Me?

Speaker 6:
[15:17] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[15:18] I just get more Italian. In my free time, I've been just getting more and more Italian.

Speaker 6:
[15:23] What that mean? What that look like?

Speaker 5:
[15:25] You're looking at it.

Speaker 6:
[15:27] No, I know, but give me an example of like, what's the biggest leap you've made in terms of like, today you were 20% Italian, then the next day you were 30%.

Speaker 5:
[15:37] I see, I see. Well, yesterday, I loosened up a fire hydrant, and me and the neighborhood kids, we all kind of danced around, played in the water. So that was pretty Italian of me. Old school Italian, I'm thinking 30s Brooklyn Italian, but...

Speaker 6:
[15:59] Okay, I was going to say, that's...

Speaker 5:
[16:01] Well, I'm doing it by decade right now. So I'm starting in the 30s, mostly fire hydrant and shit.

Speaker 6:
[16:07] And the decade is the percent. So now you're 30%.

Speaker 5:
[16:10] Yesterday, I smoked on a fire escape outside of an apartment in Manhattan. And then I went downstairs and I opened a fire hydrant and I put a can over the water, so it sprayed in different directions. So that up that next will be 40s, 50s and so on. And I'll have to map. I don't have a set plan of what I'm going to do for the 40s yet, but I would imagine I'm going to go from the fire escape onto the roof and smoke up there. Let's see what that does. I'm Italian maxing to avoid therapy, because like I'll say it again, I'm the strong and silent type.

Speaker 6:
[16:47] I'm the strong and silent type where it just doesn't work on me, but I still try it.

Speaker 5:
[16:51] What is?

Speaker 6:
[16:52] Therapy.

Speaker 5:
[16:54] I don't know if you're the strong and silent type. I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 6:
[16:58] But I tried it and it didn't work on me, which means I'm like this macho badass guy.

Speaker 5:
[17:02] You're like the bendy and straw type.

Speaker 6:
[17:04] Bendy and straw. Meaning like...

Speaker 5:
[17:09] Like your soul is kind of just one of the fun swigly straws.

Speaker 6:
[17:13] Right. Where if you put a bunch of them together, hard to... Like a bunch... Yeah. You're saying the same thing.

Speaker 5:
[17:21] Like a bundle of sticks.

Speaker 6:
[17:22] Yeah, I'm like a macho guy.

Speaker 3:
[17:25] I'm like a big bundle of sticks.

Speaker 6:
[17:26] I'm a big macho guy.

Speaker 5:
[17:28] Exactly.

Speaker 6:
[17:29] Sweet.

Speaker 5:
[17:30] Sweet, dude. Fuck yeah.

Speaker 6:
[17:33] Thanks. Yeah. No, that's good to know. It's nice to start off on a Mondays.

Speaker 5:
[17:38] Hands out of the pockets.

Speaker 6:
[17:39] Nice to start off on a Mondays with such a nice thing to say.

Speaker 5:
[17:42] Yeah. You don't have a jacket on.

Speaker 6:
[17:46] Yeah. Yeah. It's nice on Mondays.

Speaker 5:
[17:49] Let's put those paws down.

Speaker 6:
[17:51] It's nice to put them behind?

Speaker 5:
[17:53] Down. Fuck it. Put them back in your pocket. it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Put them back in your pocket.

Speaker 6:
[18:00] Play the Lawnmower Man trailer. This is I really enjoyed this story. Liam's always got great stories. He's always telling me stories at our apartment. I go, that's a great story, man.

Speaker 5:
[18:12] Taking a quick break to talk to you about Betmgm. Authorized gaming partner of the NBA has a special offer for the playoffs. Okay, you sign in to your existing Betmgm account and snag an NBA playoffs odd boost token. Then take your shot at scoring more on your next win. So you log in to your Betmgm account to receive your odds boost token. You add a qualifying bet on the NBA playoffs to your bet slip and activate the token. If your boosted bet hits, you'll receive extra winnings in unrestricted bonus dollars. Make betting the playoffs more exciting. And if you haven't signed up for Betmgm, use bonus code AFPOD to receive your welcome offer. Betmgm, make it legendary.

Speaker 4:
[18:55] Liam, who are you rooting for in the playoffs?

Speaker 5:
[18:57] Selfix. I'm just curious.

Speaker 4:
[18:58] Oh, who else is in the playoffs? I don't even know.

Speaker 5:
[19:01] 76ers. We beat the hell out of them. The Pistons. Magic.

Speaker 4:
[19:06] Why are your teams always in the playoffs? How does that make you feel, Will?

Speaker 6:
[19:10] Really happy because I like that he has something to look forward to. There's no jealousy. There's only a joy in watching your friend smile ear to ear.

Speaker 5:
[19:23] Thanks, Betmgm. Let's get back into the episode.

Speaker 4:
[19:26] We may not be able to include this due to copyright. However, if we can, we will.

Speaker 3:
[19:33] From the imagination of Stephen King, comes the story of a man with the mind of a child and a doctor. Virtual reality holds a key to the evolution of the human mind.

Speaker 6:
[19:48] Is that Pierce Brosnan? What's the name of the game in my head?

Speaker 5:
[19:51] I think it's some like that.

Speaker 3:
[19:52] Would you like that? Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[19:55] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[19:57] What the?

Speaker 2:
[20:00] That was really bad.

Speaker 6:
[20:02] Is there VR in the short story?

Speaker 5:
[20:05] Not at all. There's no one mentally challenged either.

Speaker 6:
[20:10] Dude, this looks so fucking bad.

Speaker 5:
[20:14] Apparently, it's not that bad. You're not the Lawnmower Man.

Speaker 1:
[20:17] Well, you've certainly changed. I don't know how you did it, but I approve.

Speaker 3:
[20:30] A world where the normal course of events can suddenly turn inside out.

Speaker 6:
[20:37] This is, oh my god.

Speaker 1:
[20:40] What the?

Speaker 5:
[20:41] It has absolutely nothing to do with the-

Speaker 6:
[20:45] Virtual reality.

Speaker 5:
[20:46] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[20:48] Give me the setup for Lawnmower Man, short story. Don't spoil it.

Speaker 5:
[20:51] Lawnmower kills things.

Speaker 6:
[20:55] Is the Lawnmower itself possessed?

Speaker 5:
[20:58] Sure. They don't really get into it, but then there's the Lawnmower Man.

Speaker 6:
[21:02] But is there a guy pushing the Lawnmower in the short story?

Speaker 5:
[21:06] No.

Speaker 6:
[21:06] Okay. So yeah, this, that's-

Speaker 5:
[21:10] But there is a Lawnmower Man behind the Lawnmower.

Speaker 6:
[21:12] Okay. Tell the story, though.

Speaker 5:
[21:14] Oh, yeah. So this came out in 92, and the guys who made this movie had this whole VR script that they wanted to make. He was obsessed with VR, and they're like, they couldn't get it made, and so then they're like, hey, we need someone to make the Lawnmower Man movie. And they went, okay, great. We'll just call our movie The Lawnmower Man, but it's going to be this other script that we wrote pretty much. And there's one scene of a Lawnmower killing a guy in this movie, and then absolutely nothing else has to do with the Stephen King story. And then, so they market it Stephen King's, like all over everything. And this is around the time where like, that was the biggest thing you could have for your movie. Cause like Shawshank and all that. Actually, I think Shawshank was later, but it was a big deal to have Stephen King on your marketing. And then he watched it and called the guys and was like, hey, yeah, well, first thing, I like it. It's good. I enjoyed it. Secondly, it has nothing to do with the story I wrote. So I'm going to sue you and I'm going to win. But really I like it. But I have to sue you. You guys have completely just used my name on something. I had absolutely nothing to do. And so we sued them and won a couple of million dollars.

Speaker 6:
[22:21] Dude, that's so bananas. I know they did that with... I'm trying to remember another recent example. I remember Cloverfield Paradox, the third Cloverfield movie, was like had nothing to do with Cloverfield. And with like in post and stuff like that, they attached the Cloverfield IP. And that movie Rebel Moon was originally written for Star Wars and they were like, no. So he just made it his own thing.

Speaker 5:
[22:53] Apparently Overlord, you ever seen that zombie movie? Ooh, watch it. Great zombie movie. Wyatt Russell, shout out, he was just in here. He... That was also supposed to be in the Cloverfield universe at first, I believe. And then they just completely rug pulled that and they're like, no, it's just a straight up zombie movie. But it rips.

Speaker 4:
[23:12] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[23:13] It's very good. You should watch Overlord.

Speaker 4:
[23:17] I can't be watching the movies that you are obsessed with anymore. Like, I just don't find any enjoyment in them. They're like, I hate it.

Speaker 5:
[23:27] That was a mean thing to say.

Speaker 4:
[23:29] Well, I just couldn't get through...

Speaker 5:
[23:31] Through what?

Speaker 4:
[23:33] Oh, what was his name? Bob Buzar? Huh? What was his name?

Speaker 5:
[23:37] Bob Buzar.

Speaker 4:
[23:37] Bob Buzar.

Speaker 5:
[23:38] Well, that's not like a movie movie.

Speaker 4:
[23:40] Okay, so I'll watch your zombie movie then.

Speaker 6:
[23:43] Well, no, she would not enjoy it.

Speaker 5:
[23:45] No, you wouldn't like Overlord. If there was a zombie movie for you to watch, do you like old stuff?

Speaker 4:
[23:51] Yeah, you know my favorite old movie is The Sting. What?

Speaker 6:
[23:56] The thing?

Speaker 5:
[23:57] I'm sorry, what?

Speaker 4:
[23:58] The Sting.

Speaker 5:
[23:58] Oh, The Sting.

Speaker 4:
[24:01] We've talked about this five times on the pod.

Speaker 5:
[24:04] I have no memory of talking about The Sting on this podcast pod.

Speaker 6:
[24:07] I do. I just don't remember what it's about.

Speaker 4:
[24:10] So yeah, I'll watch an old movie.

Speaker 5:
[24:11] Okay. I'll get back to you on a zombie.

Speaker 4:
[24:14] I'm not watching any more of your movies until you watch-

Speaker 5:
[24:17] Until I watch Paradise?

Speaker 4:
[24:18] Yeah. Which I know you haven't started and it's a TV show.

Speaker 6:
[24:21] I need to watch.

Speaker 4:
[24:21] It takes less time.

Speaker 6:
[24:22] I heard it's awesome.

Speaker 4:
[24:22] Can you please both just watch it together?

Speaker 6:
[24:24] Yes. I will watch it.

Speaker 4:
[24:25] Thank you.

Speaker 6:
[24:26] Thank you.

Speaker 5:
[24:27] I will.

Speaker 4:
[24:29] Then I will watch whatever you want me to watch.

Speaker 5:
[24:33] Okay. Bone Tomahawk.

Speaker 4:
[24:35] Except that. Definitely not that.

Speaker 5:
[24:37] You can't. You can never watch that. You should watch Brawl and Cell Block 99.

Speaker 6:
[24:42] Also made by the people that made Bone Tomahawk.

Speaker 5:
[24:44] Same guy.

Speaker 6:
[24:46] My former employer.

Speaker 5:
[24:48] And then you should watch Dragged Across Concrete, starring Mel Gibson.

Speaker 4:
[24:53] I will have to look into these before I agree to it, but thank you for the recommendations.

Speaker 5:
[24:58] That is just unfair. Yeah, I can't wait to watch that movie. A Lawnmower Man, then I'll get into Paradise.

Speaker 4:
[25:06] You can watch it for free on YouTube, it looks like.

Speaker 5:
[25:09] I watched The Night Flyer the other day. Check that out if you like campy Stephen King 90s movies. It actually holds up pretty well. But the problem with The Night Flyer, it's a great vampire movie. I think you'd actually like it. But the main character, his name is Deez.

Speaker 4:
[25:25] No.

Speaker 5:
[25:26] And they keep referring to him as Deez in the entire movie. My brain was just going Deez nuts, Deez nuts, Deez nuts. And it really took me out of the experience. Other than, if you can get over the main character's name being Deez, you'll have a good time. Mr. Deez?

Speaker 6:
[25:41] I think that I don't like campy movies at all.

Speaker 5:
[25:44] You don't? I don't think so. Which is fine.

Speaker 6:
[25:47] Which sucks. No, I want to like them. What does campy even mean? I know what it means.

Speaker 4:
[25:50] I was just about to ask you.

Speaker 6:
[25:52] I know, like I know a campy movie if I'm watching it, but what is the actual, like, how do you define, like, a campy movie?

Speaker 5:
[25:57] I think camp is, like, cheesy. If I'm, you know, like, over the top kind of.

Speaker 6:
[26:02] Cheesy, lower budget.

Speaker 5:
[26:04] Yeah, even if it's a high budget for the time, like, it looks, it's...

Speaker 6:
[26:07] Define camp. I mean, Emily.

Speaker 5:
[26:13] Define camp is crazy.

Speaker 4:
[26:15] Well, I wanted to get the actual, like, camp meaning, not just campy movies. I don't know if that, is that a term, campy movies?

Speaker 5:
[26:22] Highly over the top.

Speaker 4:
[26:23] Or movies that are camp.

Speaker 6:
[26:24] Define campy, what is a campy movie?

Speaker 4:
[26:27] It is a film that embraces extreme exaggeration, artifice. Is that how you say that? And theatricality for comedic or ironic effect. So bad, it's good.

Speaker 5:
[26:43] Yeah, would you look up examples like Pumpkinhead is a very campy horror movie.

Speaker 6:
[26:51] I seen this guy, Pumpkinhead.

Speaker 5:
[26:55] Yeah, Batman and Robin.

Speaker 6:
[26:56] I seen this guy, Pumpkinhead.

Speaker 5:
[26:57] You seen Pumpkinhead?

Speaker 6:
[26:59] I seen this guy.

Speaker 5:
[27:00] You know what's, me and Will got a big problem, that fucking Pumpkinhead keeps breaking into our apartment.

Speaker 6:
[27:04] I seen him in my room, Pumpkinhead, he's bringing in.

Speaker 5:
[27:07] He's a revenge demon.

Speaker 6:
[27:08] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[27:09] Or revenge, you know, whatever.

Speaker 6:
[27:11] I keep waking up Liam, he doesn't like it. And then I got to deal with Pumpkinhead.

Speaker 5:
[27:16] And he pissed. Cause we don't have the games he likes.

Speaker 6:
[27:21] He doesn't like none of my games. I got my 3DS.

Speaker 5:
[27:24] He hates puzzles.

Speaker 6:
[27:25] He's got my 3DS, my PSP. I have them all on my bed, cause I know he's coming. I got all my hand helds on my bed, cause I know he's coming to play my games, but Mr. Pumpkinhead don't like it.

Speaker 5:
[27:36] He likes silly bands and he likes the bracelets that you slap on. That's what Pumpkinhead likes.

Speaker 6:
[27:43] Emily, what's on the news this week? What did you bless us with in this Chad GBT document this time?

Speaker 4:
[27:50] I did not Chad GBT this document. I'm banning, I'm taking a break from Chad GBT.

Speaker 6:
[27:55] Yeah, I mean, I think you kind of have to.

Speaker 4:
[27:57] But on that note, I did ask Gemini, not Chad GBT, this weekend.

Speaker 6:
[28:04] Gemini is far worse.

Speaker 5:
[28:05] Gemini-Gina.

Speaker 4:
[28:06] Is it really?

Speaker 6:
[28:06] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[28:07] Regardless, I am stopping on relying.

Speaker 6:
[28:10] Gemini made that guy kill himself, allegedly.

Speaker 4:
[28:13] Okay, well, then I'm banning that one as well. But it did say, I asked it, I said, do you know about the Almost Friday Podcast? And what do you know about the character segment?

Speaker 5:
[28:25] It started glitching, doing hieroglyphs, and the whole computer shutdown.

Speaker 4:
[28:28] It said Liam is known to be the powerhouse of the character segment.

Speaker 5:
[28:34] Is that what it said?

Speaker 6:
[28:35] And it's true.

Speaker 5:
[28:36] Damn, dude, Gemini. Now I'm gonna fall in love with Gemini and kill myself.

Speaker 6:
[28:40] Now you're gonna upload Gemini's brain to a robot body consciousness.

Speaker 5:
[28:45] I'm starting to see what this last guy saw so much of Gemini, because now she's speaking my language. And you know what, dude, maybe she does deserve my fucking soul. Maybe she deserves my fucking soul.

Speaker 4:
[28:55] You wanna hear what it said? It said, Liam is widely considered the MVP of these. He can pivot from a menacing high school football coach to a soft-spoken, unsettling tech genius in seconds.

Speaker 5:
[29:05] Fuck it, dude, I'll fucking kill myself for this thing.

Speaker 6:
[29:07] In seconds.

Speaker 5:
[29:09] Fuck it, dude.

Speaker 6:
[29:10] What does it say about Will?

Speaker 4:
[29:12] Nothing.

Speaker 6:
[29:12] What does it say about Emily?

Speaker 4:
[29:14] Nothing. Okay. Well, I just asked specifically what it knows about the character segment.

Speaker 5:
[29:19] Well, that's because I've made you both up and you actually only exist inside of my virtual reality world.

Speaker 6:
[29:24] This is like the movie Identity.

Speaker 5:
[29:26] I am the Lawnmower Man and yes, it is exactly like Identity. Great flick.

Speaker 6:
[29:31] Wait, so who did it? Who did it?

Speaker 5:
[29:34] Well, I'm all of you, so me.

Speaker 6:
[29:37] No, I know, but remember that's the whole point of the movie is like he did it, but which one of his personalities did it? And then the twist was like it's the little girl, but it doesn't matter because in real life, he's just the one that did it. Yeah. It like didn't really make sense at all. It's awesome now.

Speaker 5:
[29:52] But what a cast.

Speaker 2:
[29:53] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[29:54] That's what you got to say.

Speaker 2:
[29:55] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[29:55] John Cusack, I mean Ray Liotta.

Speaker 6:
[29:57] Ray Liotta.

Speaker 5:
[29:59] Now, who's rabbit is this? Because I don't like it. I don't like how big the feet are.

Speaker 4:
[30:03] It's Playdates.

Speaker 6:
[30:05] Of course it is.

Speaker 5:
[30:05] Of course it is, dude. If I got underneath this blanket and closed my eyes for four or five hours, would you think that would like fuck up anything?

Speaker 6:
[30:16] No. How long? Four or five hours.

Speaker 5:
[30:18] Four or five hours.

Speaker 6:
[30:20] Can we keep your camera on, your mic hot?

Speaker 5:
[30:22] Yes. Sweet.

Speaker 6:
[30:23] Do it.

Speaker 5:
[30:24] Well, I will be talking in my dreams.

Speaker 6:
[30:26] Fine. Give it a try. Emily, zoom in.

Speaker 4:
[30:31] This is a mediocre document today.

Speaker 6:
[30:33] Right, because you did it with ChadGBT?

Speaker 4:
[30:35] No, because I didn't do it with ChadGBT.

Speaker 6:
[30:37] Oh, you did it with Gemini?

Speaker 4:
[30:39] No, I didn't.

Speaker 6:
[30:40] Did you use any AI tool to do it?

Speaker 4:
[30:42] Swear on my life.

Speaker 6:
[30:43] Where did you get these news sources?

Speaker 4:
[30:44] I have been saving these just from my algorithm.

Speaker 6:
[30:47] Right. Okay, zoom in more because I can't read it.

Speaker 4:
[30:49] Which is why it sucks because it's not your algorithm.

Speaker 6:
[30:51] Can you zoom in more because I can't read any of it? You back up? You wake?

Speaker 5:
[30:56] Yeah. Sorry, the cartel cut my wife's head off and they put my daughter in a vat of acid.

Speaker 6:
[31:03] In your dream or in real life?

Speaker 5:
[31:04] In real life, but I was dreaming about it.

Speaker 6:
[31:06] Oh, that's why you've been having a hard time sleeping lately?

Speaker 5:
[31:08] Yes, that's because I'm in a land of wolves now.

Speaker 6:
[31:12] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[31:12] I live in a land of wolves now.

Speaker 6:
[31:15] Right.

Speaker 5:
[31:16] Quick break to talk to you about hymns, guys. When thinning starts, it's not just your hair that takes a hit, but it can change how you feel day in, day out. Hymns makes it simple to take control of hair regrowth and personalized care that fits your life. Guys, hymns offers convenient access to arrange prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including choose oral medication, serums, and sprays. Hymns brings expert care straight to you with 100 percent online access to personalized treatment. Plans that put your goals first.

Speaker 4:
[31:44] I will say, I feel like a lot of men are becoming more and more confident in using hair growth serums and treatments. So I support this movement. I think everyone should do what they have to do to feel like themselves. If it's convenient, it's even better.

Speaker 5:
[32:01] For simple online access to personalized and affordable hair care, for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more, visit hymns.com/friday. That's hymns.com/friday for your free online visit. That's hymns.com/friday. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality, prescriptions required. See website for full details, restrictions, and importance safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, monoclonal, and frenazone. Thank you hymns. And a quick word from Dr. Squatch.

Speaker 6:
[32:33] Hey Liam.

Speaker 5:
[32:34] Hi.

Speaker 6:
[32:35] What does Friday night smell like? If you could bottle the feeling of a Friday night, you would get Dr. Squatch, their Invisible Glide deodorant scents. For me, Friday night smells like pine tar. Oh, when the whole weekend is still ahead of you, what's that scent? I got it right here in my hands and you can have it all over your pits, nuts, feet, neck, and lips. Or just your pits if you want. We teamed up with Dr. Squatch and made a limited edition brick. Of soap. Of soap. How fresh is that? The scent is whiskey, tobacco, mahogany. Who do you think that scent is based off of? Has to be Emily. She has so many cigars in her purse. It's got to be Emily.

Speaker 5:
[33:18] Got to be.

Speaker 4:
[33:18] What's the new scent called?

Speaker 6:
[33:20] Hit it, Liam.

Speaker 5:
[33:20] Friday Night.

Speaker 6:
[33:21] It is an online exclusive brick built for whatever the night takes you. The scent is called Whiskey Business. Think of it as timeless, smooth, reliable in bar form. You can grab a single brick or save with the Friday Night 3-pack bundle available on drsquatch.com. That's drsquatch.com. We're also running a giveaway, a weekend trip to Nashville for you and two friends. The prize includes a round trip, flight for three, hotel for two nights, $500 cash, $500 to the Almost Friday Sporting Club, a curated Nashville itinerary and $500 in DrSquatch products. Enter at drsquatch.com between April 15th and May 12th. No purchase necessary.

Speaker 5:
[34:01] Guys, rally the fellas and go to drsquatch.com and grab the limited edition Friday Night Brick before it's gone, single or three pack, okay? Thank you, DrSquatch. And let's get back into this episode. Ice Spice Guy attacked at McDonald's. Gotta be honest, don't care. High school principal who stopped school shooter got named prom king. I saw that, very nice. New exhibit features artifacts from notorious serial killers.

Speaker 4:
[34:26] Ooh. You hear about that?

Speaker 6:
[34:28] No. That, I don't like that.

Speaker 4:
[34:31] I know. I was gonna say, like, I... That was gonna be my cracker of the week.

Speaker 6:
[34:34] You're only gonna help, like, people are gonna be like, I want to be in there.

Speaker 5:
[34:38] New telecoms out.

Speaker 4:
[34:38] Yeah, no, it's weird though. You're gonna get ideas.

Speaker 5:
[34:41] What would your item be?

Speaker 4:
[34:44] Like, of killing someone?

Speaker 5:
[34:45] What would, yeah, what would your artifact be?

Speaker 4:
[34:48] Um, probably chat GBT.

Speaker 5:
[34:52] Ooh.

Speaker 6:
[34:52] Probably chat GBT?

Speaker 4:
[34:53] Probably, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[34:54] On a memory stick?

Speaker 4:
[34:56] Probably.

Speaker 6:
[34:57] Mine, mine would be, mine would be my calling card.

Speaker 5:
[35:03] Joker.

Speaker 6:
[35:04] And my, no, that would be badass. Mine is a fine tooth hair comb with, carefully, I've pulled out each tooth so that it reads a binary code that links to a website that is my manifesto.

Speaker 5:
[35:23] Whoa.

Speaker 6:
[35:24] But they have to look at the combs back.

Speaker 3:
[35:26] Why did you, why did you pull this one up?

Speaker 6:
[35:27] They call me the fine tooth comb killer.

Speaker 5:
[35:31] Say that 10 times first.

Speaker 6:
[35:32] Fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer, fine tooth comb killer.

Speaker 5:
[35:41] Whoa.

Speaker 6:
[35:43] And that's what they call me. And then you actually realize that it's not binary. That was a red herring. When you line up the combs and you look at them in a strobe light, it actually projects a 3D map to the star I was born on.

Speaker 5:
[36:00] What star system are you from again? What's it called?

Speaker 6:
[36:03] Ganarius.

Speaker 5:
[36:03] Ah, that's right.

Speaker 6:
[36:04] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[36:05] And it's warm there, right?

Speaker 6:
[36:06] Yes, if you go outside and look right now, it's gorgeous. It actually doesn't exist anymore. It's the main planet, Heterios, supernovaed about 350 years ago, but it's gonna take about 6,000 years for us to see that here on earth.

Speaker 5:
[36:24] Oh, very good.

Speaker 6:
[36:25] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[36:26] Oh, that's very good.

Speaker 6:
[36:27] Yeah. They call me the supernova killer because I go around and I supernova these things.

Speaker 5:
[36:32] Oh, I see, I see.

Speaker 6:
[36:33] That's why I'm putting the fine tooth comb in there because if I put a supernova in there, I would obviously destroy this planet.

Speaker 5:
[36:43] Do you want to rent kayaks this weekend?

Speaker 6:
[36:45] No.

Speaker 5:
[36:46] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[36:51] I will.

Speaker 5:
[36:51] All right.

Speaker 6:
[36:53] What I do want to do is learn to surf or learn to scuba dive or I want to get a boat. I want to rent a boat, get a crew together.

Speaker 5:
[37:04] We can do that. I just did that last weekend.

Speaker 6:
[37:06] Well, Dylan was saying his uncle is that uncle. Oh, it's that uncle. I just assumed I was like, he wouldn't bring up that uncle. He would.

Speaker 5:
[37:15] He would.

Speaker 6:
[37:16] Really?

Speaker 5:
[37:17] He thinks we're all idiots. It's that uncle.

Speaker 6:
[37:21] It's just, I guess it's a good strategy. It's such a bold move that he knows we're all going in our heads. It wouldn't be that uncle. So of course we would go.

Speaker 5:
[37:33] All right. It's who they made the movie The Nightcrawler after.

Speaker 6:
[37:37] Right.

Speaker 5:
[37:40] But what was he saying about his uncle?

Speaker 6:
[37:42] I guess his uncle is some job in...

Speaker 5:
[37:46] He is a boat, right? His uncle?

Speaker 6:
[37:48] No.

Speaker 5:
[37:51] His other uncle is a train named Thomas, right?

Speaker 6:
[37:56] You're thinking of Jerry the Jet.

Speaker 5:
[37:59] Yeah, he's got a face on the fucking front of the jet. His uncle is a big boat tugboat with a face on it. The other uncle is Thomas the train. And he's got Jerry the jet. It's Dylan's family.

Speaker 6:
[38:12] Well, you know what sucks is like... Because this is why Dylan did Thanksgiving with me and my family. He's like the one kid that didn't turn out like a train or a jet. And like, dude, because his parents thought about... They saw in the ultrasound and they were like... Like they told him this. They were like, we considered getting a portion.

Speaker 3:
[38:36] Or have they just dumped bleach up there to try to see what they had to do?

Speaker 6:
[38:41] Because he didn't turn... Because he didn't come out as a train.

Speaker 4:
[38:44] Oh man, dude. It's fucked up.

Speaker 5:
[38:47] It's dark.

Speaker 6:
[38:48] It's fucked up.

Speaker 5:
[38:49] I'm going to be way nicer to him now, I think. Now I get why he walks around with like this fucking attitude.

Speaker 6:
[38:54] Yeah. It sucks.

Speaker 5:
[38:56] It blows, dude.

Speaker 6:
[38:57] Yeah. And I heard his sister, she's a train. Right. She brought home a car. Oh. Thanksgiving and the death lost her.

Speaker 5:
[39:11] Dude, yeah, because I heard...

Speaker 6:
[39:13] He lost his mind.

Speaker 5:
[39:15] Well, because it was the car that brought his rollerblade friends. Huge mistake. Huge mistake.

Speaker 6:
[39:22] It's just like you're feeding into the stereotype at that point. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[39:27] It's like come on, dude.

Speaker 6:
[39:28] It's like come on.

Speaker 5:
[39:29] No, I actually I'm actually with him. I'm actually with him. I don't know.

Speaker 6:
[39:33] I feel bad for doing. But his uncle has some sort of connection and can rent us a really nice boat. And I want to say Huntington.

Speaker 5:
[39:46] Okay. Now, okay.

Speaker 6:
[39:50] And we were talking to our friend JG.

Speaker 5:
[39:53] JG.

Speaker 6:
[39:54] And we might go down to his palace.

Speaker 5:
[39:57] His pad.

Speaker 6:
[39:57] His pad. And there's great white sharks in Los Angeles.

Speaker 4:
[40:04] In Manhattan Beach?

Speaker 6:
[40:05] All down that Los Angeles coast.

Speaker 5:
[40:08] Santa Monica, all the way through Camosa.

Speaker 6:
[40:11] Oh, I want to say something real quick. I've lived here four years now.

Speaker 5:
[40:15] Yep.

Speaker 6:
[40:15] And I've, I'll see like a piece of trash here and there on the beaches. They're actually relatively clean. The last week, it looks like a, it looks like five cargo ships of trash.

Speaker 5:
[40:29] Yeah, that's my fault.

Speaker 6:
[40:30] I tipped over and there is a unbroken line of trash across the entire like Los Angeles coastline. Like there is so much trash. I've never seen this much trash in my life.

Speaker 5:
[40:42] I've been walking up and down the beaches with a big like Santa Claus bag of presents, but with trash and I didn't realize that there was a tiny hole in it. So as I was walking up miles and miles, I was just dropping a line of trash. So my bad everyone. But literally I looked like the Grinch with presents, but except it was trash and it was all leaking.

Speaker 6:
[41:00] Right. That's a lot of trash. Have you just been, has that just kind of been all the trash you've accumulated your whole life?

Speaker 5:
[41:08] Yeah, I got like, I'll steal trash and I go through people's chimneys, I grab their trash, their trash, and I go back up to the chimney. And then I walked down the beach and I go, shake the trash out, throw the bag into the water, next house, same thing, rinse, repeat, recycle. It's kind of like the water cycle, but with trash. I'm basically just doing the rain cycle with trash. Oh.

Speaker 6:
[41:32] So the trash was, I see.

Speaker 5:
[41:35] I'm keeping the trash in the...

Speaker 6:
[41:37] The trash evaporates up into the sky.

Speaker 5:
[41:39] Yes.

Speaker 6:
[41:40] Rains back down into the trimneys and you have to go back and collect it.

Speaker 5:
[41:45] Yes. Yes.

Speaker 6:
[41:46] Alright.

Speaker 5:
[41:48] I'm in so big trouble. What I was going to say is, what the hell has been going on with Josh Block? Has he been quiet lately?

Speaker 6:
[41:54] I was thinking that like two weeks ago.

Speaker 5:
[41:56] Because I've been just rewatching old Daniel Larson clips and just having a laugh. But I have not seen anything of Joshua Block.

Speaker 6:
[42:05] Which is good.

Speaker 5:
[42:06] Great. Great news.

Speaker 6:
[42:08] This is the only, it was either this or he died, I think.

Speaker 4:
[42:14] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[42:15] So I'm very happy for him. Whatever he's doing, it must be.

Speaker 5:
[42:19] Well, the documentary is probably coming out soon.

Speaker 4:
[42:23] It's weird, though, that you mentioned him, because this past weekend, I met some guy at a bar, and he was saying how he went to our Friday Beer's Halloween party dressed as Josh Block. And he said that you guys, or one of you saw him.

Speaker 5:
[42:37] Not me. Well, anyways, are there any updates?

Speaker 4:
[42:43] Oh, people are saying he's, it's over.

Speaker 6:
[42:46] Let's go.

Speaker 5:
[42:47] That's good. Well, hopefully it is. Maybe we're all, maybe it's time we all grew up a little bit. What do you think, Binder?

Speaker 4:
[42:56] I would have to agree with that.

Speaker 5:
[42:57] What else is on your little doc?

Speaker 4:
[42:59] You just have to stop relying on my little docs. They're just for safety measures.

Speaker 5:
[43:03] Yeah, it's all right. Okay. Alex Honnold, don't care. Elderly woman thinks she's married to Matt Rife. Now that's pretty interesting.

Speaker 6:
[43:12] I got a great notification from New York Times last night. I'm going to read this.

Speaker 5:
[43:19] Hit it.

Speaker 6:
[43:21] Did you hear about the guy in Louisiana?

Speaker 5:
[43:24] Go on.

Speaker 6:
[43:25] Some guy lost his mind and killed all eight of his kids and then died in a police shootout.

Speaker 5:
[43:29] What? When?

Speaker 4:
[43:31] I didn't hear about that.

Speaker 6:
[43:32] Or two days ago.

Speaker 5:
[43:33] What?

Speaker 6:
[43:33] I think it was yesterday. I don't know. It's pretty dark. I don't think we need to fully dive into the story.

Speaker 4:
[43:40] I, random side note, this girl from Nebraska that I met this weekend, she was telling me about her job. She is like a therapist for people who have like committed crimes. So sometimes she'll have to go to the jail or sometimes they're like on probation and they go to her office.

Speaker 6:
[43:58] Well, Liam doesn't believe that criminals deserve second chances. No matter how small the crime is, he thinks therapy for them is a complete misuse of state or federal funds.

Speaker 5:
[44:09] Lock them up and swallow the key is what I say. Any non-violent or non-drug offenders, guys, mostly like traffic cases, lock them up, swallow the key.

Speaker 6:
[44:17] You were saying that with non-violent offenders though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Go on, Emily.

Speaker 4:
[44:22] No, it's just insane. Yeah, because like there are some of them who have been like predators and sexual offenders and murderers and she's like has to work with them to like give... She has to like think in her head that they deserve a second chance or that like she can help them so that they stop offending. She said most do stop offending, but one time she had this guy, this client who like just I think he's either killed people or...

Speaker 6:
[44:53] Can you talk about this in the pond?

Speaker 5:
[44:55] Yeah. She's not naming any names. Go on.

Speaker 4:
[44:59] She... So this man was either he's killed someone or threatened to kill someone and he was telling her in their session that he has this problem where like he always carries a knife around him and it like makes him want to stab people. And he said that in the session like he had a knife on him and he took it out and he was like, I really want to stab right now. And I was like, were you like alone in the room? She was like, yeah. And I was like, were you not freaking the fuck out? And she was like, no, it was actually very healing because we were able to establish like the root of his problem and like whatever. And then he on his, I was like, did you take it from him? She's like, no, I'm not allowed to, but he did throw it out on his way out of the session. And I was like, you literally could have gotten killed. Like, why are you so calm?

Speaker 5:
[45:47] It's because she has the green lanterns ring, right?

Speaker 6:
[45:51] Does she?

Speaker 4:
[45:53] I'll have to ask.

Speaker 6:
[45:54] At any point when you were with her, did she point her fist at you and move something almost as if the, like a cone of green light shoot out of it and then move something?

Speaker 5:
[46:03] Like a big hammer or like a fist and punch the symbol?

Speaker 4:
[46:07] Well, when we were sitting there, like this chair fell over. And then like a guy across-

Speaker 6:
[46:14] Was it windy out?

Speaker 4:
[46:15] No.

Speaker 6:
[46:16] Interesting.

Speaker 5:
[46:18] Holy shit.

Speaker 4:
[46:20] And then the trash can in the corner started like oozing some like green goo.

Speaker 5:
[46:24] That was me.

Speaker 6:
[46:25] Yeah, I was going to say.

Speaker 5:
[46:25] I was in there.

Speaker 6:
[46:26] We was there at the big newspaper with holes cut out.

Speaker 5:
[46:29] I was in there and the trash can just arms and legs popped out of holes. And then I just got up and started running away.

Speaker 4:
[46:39] Oh, my God. I also have the most insane thing happened this weekend. Fully met a pathological liar of a man. Raquel and I went out in Manhattan Beach.

Speaker 5:
[46:52] Was it the Green Lantern?

Speaker 6:
[46:54] Say that. They can't lie. They're sworn to honesty. If you knew anything about the oaths they had to take to wear that ring, you wouldn't ask stupid fucking questions like that. You see them wearing the ring, you know what they've been through.

Speaker 5:
[47:07] It's true.

Speaker 6:
[47:08] Continue, Emily.

Speaker 4:
[47:09] So Raquel met this guy at a bar. They were hitting it off. And then they left and they exchanged numbers and he asked to come meet him at this other bar. And so when we were done at the bar, I was like, fine, I'll come with you to this other bar so you can flirt it up. And he was with a friend. So while she's talking to her man, I was just talking to the friend. And-

Speaker 5:
[47:32] Was he cute?

Speaker 4:
[47:33] The friend or the guy?

Speaker 5:
[47:35] The guys you were with?

Speaker 4:
[47:36] Not my type. But the guy Raquel was talking to was very much her type.

Speaker 5:
[47:40] Sounds like a real pig.

Speaker 4:
[47:43] So it was like no matter what he said, like she's interested. Like he didn't have to like really impress her. Like she's interested. She's, we're there. We already moved to the second bar to hang out with them.

Speaker 6:
[47:52] Never go to a second location.

Speaker 5:
[47:54] True.

Speaker 4:
[47:55] Pax.

Speaker 6:
[47:57] Make sure to show her the zip tie thing again after because she is becoming a problem.

Speaker 5:
[48:00] Well, I'll just let her have the green lantern ring for a little bit.

Speaker 4:
[48:02] So like a whole reason they started bonding in the first place is like, Raquel was wearing these sunglasses and the guy was like, oh my God, I lost those exact sunglasses at Coachella last weekend. So they're all talking about Coachella. And this man that Raquel is talking to is going off about Coachella and whatever. And his favorite set, he was very specific about his favorite song from that set and was just telling, he stayed at the Ritz. He was just very like just ripping all his Coachella stories. And then I'm talking to the friend and the friend is telling me now, like I don't know why he's spilling this tea. They're like best friends from high school that, yeah, he's clocking tea, that he, that the friend, that he never went to Coachella. Whoa. And I said, oh, well, he said that blank was his favorite set and this, that's literally what I told him from my Coachella experience. He did not go. And I was like, you're fucking lying. I go, can I please confront this man, please? And he was like, yeah, I don't care because he lives in my house, so he can't really get mad at me because he's living under my roof. So if he were to lash out on me, it's like I would just kick him out. So I don't think he would.

Speaker 5:
[49:13] That's a, well, that guy, the guy you're talking to is probably worse guy than-

Speaker 4:
[49:17] Yeah. I mean, I wasn't flirting with him. I was just doing it so that Raquel could talk to this guy. And so he lets me confront him. And I told Raquel I was going to do it, she was fine with it. So I just like pull him aside and go, I have a question. So I am like, that's my best friend and I don't want her to be talking to someone who is a pathological.

Speaker 6:
[49:43] Say that, say that, that part.

Speaker 4:
[49:47] I got to be real with you, like I know you didn't go to Coachella. And he was like, what are you talking about? I go, you didn't go to Coachella. I don't know why you're saying all these stories as if you went to Coachella. And he was like, who told you that? I was like, it's easy to find out things when they're lies. So I don't really know what's going on. You don't really need to.

Speaker 6:
[50:07] It's easy to find out things when they're lies.

Speaker 4:
[50:12] It's easy to find out the truth, if you will.

Speaker 6:
[50:14] Title of the episode.

Speaker 4:
[50:16] That's a long one, Liam, you approve?

Speaker 5:
[50:17] I approve.

Speaker 4:
[50:19] So he's like going, no, I did. I stayed at the Ritz. I go, dude, just cut it out, just stop. And then he sees his friend in the distance and he goes, can we talk for a sec?

Speaker 1:
[50:31] Can we talk for a sec?

Speaker 4:
[50:33] And then they go upstairs to like the upstairs part of the bar to talk. And I'm like, oh my God, they are fighting right now.

Speaker 6:
[50:39] Yeah, he probably beat his head in, probably stabbed him.

Speaker 4:
[50:42] And apparently he was like, why the fuck did you like out me like that? And bro was like, stop telling my stories as if they're yours. Like you don't need to do that stuff to impress a girl. Like he was good looking enough, he didn't need to do that. And eventually Raquel went up there to like talk to the guy and he was like, she was like, what the fuck man? And he was like, I have something to tell you and I need you to look me in the eye when I say this.

Speaker 6:
[51:08] What the? What have they been dating for seven years? What's going on?

Speaker 4:
[51:11] That's what I'm saying, I was like, what's his problem? He goes, I didn't go to Coachella. And she was like, yeah, that's fucking weird that you were lying about that, you freak. And he was just like, I just really wanted to impress you and blah, blah, blah. It was just the weirdest fucking thing.

Speaker 5:
[51:29] She go home with him? Damn.

Speaker 4:
[51:32] She did not go home with him that night, I'll tell you that much.

Speaker 5:
[51:37] Classic.

Speaker 4:
[51:38] Classic, Brenda.

Speaker 5:
[51:40] Classic, man.

Speaker 4:
[51:43] You know someone's a pathologic liar when they're like, yo, should we rip a helicopter back to Bieber tonight? Should we all go?

Speaker 5:
[51:49] Who said this? The guy?

Speaker 4:
[51:50] The guy.

Speaker 5:
[51:51] He said, should we rip a helicopter back to Bieber tonight?

Speaker 4:
[51:54] Yeah, cause like, you know, should we like rip Coachella again? Like, begin to? And then the friend was just going, he has no money, he owes so many people money and lost all of his friends because of how much money he owes. He cannot afford a helicopter.

Speaker 6:
[52:09] But why would he say that if he couldn't?

Speaker 4:
[52:13] Because he's a patho.

Speaker 6:
[52:15] But you said he had the Green Lantern ring on.

Speaker 5:
[52:22] No, no, no, no.

Speaker 6:
[52:22] Which means he took the oaths.

Speaker 4:
[52:26] The therapist girl I met had the Green Lantern ring.

Speaker 6:
[52:28] Oh!

Speaker 5:
[52:30] The whole time I was telling that story, where you were telling that story, I was thinking, when is the Green Lantern going to pop in and fix all this?

Speaker 6:
[52:36] Yeah, because I thought you were planning the seeds early for that story to pay off.

Speaker 4:
[52:41] Well, the Green Lantern did fly us in, did pick us up on his helicopter.

Speaker 6:
[52:46] Oh, you did go to Bieber.

Speaker 4:
[52:47] And we Bieberchella'd Weekend 2.

Speaker 6:
[52:49] I gotta say, I watched Bieber's set. It was sick.

Speaker 5:
[52:54] Really?

Speaker 4:
[52:54] From Weekend 1 or Weekend 2?

Speaker 6:
[52:56] Both, actually.

Speaker 4:
[52:57] I'm so fucking pissed.

Speaker 5:
[52:58] Why?

Speaker 4:
[52:59] The guests he brought out Weekend 2, SZA, I'm obsessed with SZA. Yeah. Apparently, all the artists that were brought out. And then Sabrina Carpenter brought out Madonna. She didn't bring anyone out Weekend 1 or whoever she did, I don't remember.

Speaker 6:
[53:13] I will say, not to sound like old head or something.

Speaker 5:
[53:16] SZA.

Speaker 6:
[53:17] But I saw a video of someone recording Sabrina Carpenter or Madonna singing, and they turn around and literally every single person is looking up through their phone watching the set and no one's singing along and I was like, oh, that is so vicious.

Speaker 4:
[53:31] I thought the same thing.

Speaker 6:
[53:32] It actually really bummed me out. Usually I don't, like that stuff never bothers me, but I was like, this one specifically, I was like, what the hell?

Speaker 5:
[53:41] Culture died that day, you could say. That's the headline.

Speaker 6:
[53:44] Spread your leg. One more time. If you want me to pay attention to anything you're saying, you need at least 40 degrees on those puppies.

Speaker 5:
[53:52] Do you see that I'm giving birth right now under this? That's why I'm wearing it?

Speaker 6:
[53:56] Yeah, I see the belly of the beast under there.

Speaker 5:
[53:58] That's the belly. I go like this, you think you're gonna see a beautiful pussy? That's not all reality. It's the belly of the beast.

Speaker 4:
[54:08] William, you got a little umbilical cord hanging from your leg.

Speaker 5:
[54:11] I know I do.

Speaker 6:
[54:12] Slurp it back up like a noodle.

Speaker 4:
[54:15] Do you know, have you heard about eating the placenta?

Speaker 5:
[54:19] I have, unfortunately, heard about this.

Speaker 6:
[54:22] I got a placenta guy out here if you guys are interested.

Speaker 4:
[54:25] Who is it?

Speaker 6:
[54:26] Can you?

Speaker 5:
[54:27] Sammy, right?

Speaker 6:
[54:28] It's Tanner.

Speaker 5:
[54:29] Oh, yeah, it's Tanner. I forgot Tanner was into all that shit. Well, Tanner can get you. You ever go into Tanner's apartment? It's just-

Speaker 6:
[54:34] He can get you literally in it.

Speaker 5:
[54:35] Jars of like monkey paws and brains of different jellies.

Speaker 6:
[54:41] He has one of those jars, which is, I mean, this is so Tanner. He has one of those jars of sand where there's like different layers of color on them.

Speaker 5:
[54:47] Yeah. And there's and there's sand all around. It's kind of like the skeleton key. He's like the old lady's house in the skeleton key.

Speaker 6:
[54:55] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[54:58] You should watch The Skeleton Key.

Speaker 4:
[55:01] Would you think I would like it?

Speaker 6:
[55:03] No. That's why you should watch it.

Speaker 5:
[55:05] No, but you'd learn a lot from it.

Speaker 6:
[55:06] You shouldn't watch, if I can for a second, anyone here that likes TV or movies, when you watch a film, and this is what I tell my students when they join film school because they're bright eyed. They, oh, I want to make a Marvel movie. Oh, I can't wait to make this sci-fi. Actually, if you come out of a film or a movie even, or a TV show, and you enjoyed that, and you went, wow, that scene was really cool where they fought the big dragon, or when Dr. Catronicus came in and blew up the spaceship, if you come out of that and you enjoyed that, that was a bad movie. You were not supposed to enjoy films. You were supposed to leave a film going, huh, how does that apply to my life? How can I copy and paste those themes into my life? How do I apply them? You really should not be enjoying art. It's not meant for you to sit there with a big bag of buttery salty popcorn, sucking down two gallons of diet coke and then going home and going, oh, posting on your Twitter or your Axe is what they're calling it. You should come out of it going, I don't know what the fuck I just watched. You should come out of it going, I don't know what happens tomorrow. That scares the hell out of me. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happens tomorrow.

Speaker 5:
[56:44] There's snot all over your face.

Speaker 6:
[56:46] Am I bleeding?

Speaker 5:
[56:47] Snot everywhere.

Speaker 6:
[56:49] Am I pissing? I'm pissing and shitting.

Speaker 5:
[56:50] You're pissing and shitting. Everything that could be leaking from you right now, you're also full-blown sobbing. I think you thought nobody would notice.

Speaker 6:
[56:58] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[56:58] But dude, you're full-blown Japanese commercial crying right now.

Speaker 6:
[57:04] Yeah. Jerry told me when he was in film school freshman year, one of his professors was like, it's a bad movie if you enjoyed it.

Speaker 5:
[57:14] That's awesome.

Speaker 6:
[57:14] I was like, holy shit, dude. That's so sick guys live like that.

Speaker 5:
[57:18] It's a bad movie if you enjoyed it. It's like what? He didn't like Goodfellas?

Speaker 6:
[57:24] I mean, it's no bicycle thieves.

Speaker 5:
[57:26] It's true. It's no fiddler on the roof.

Speaker 6:
[57:30] A masterpiece. An absolute masterpiece.

Speaker 5:
[57:34] An absolute masterpiece. Better Help, this episode is sponsored by Better Help. Guys, financial stress affects more than our bank accounts, OK? It can take a serious toll on mental health and relationships, with 88% of Americans, some form of financial stress at the start of 2026.

Speaker 4:
[57:55] I bet you the pathological liar that we met this weekend is having some financial stress because apparently he owes a lot of people money and he lied about going to Coachella because maybe he couldn't necessarily afford it. And so I really feel like people like him could use better help to talk through their financial stress and maybe just learn how to be confident and honest in life.

Speaker 5:
[58:18] So guys, money worries often bring anxiety, asleep disruption, and even depression. So this month, we want to normalize the emotional weight of financial stress and remind people that struggling with money doesn't mean that they failed, okay? Sometimes it's just about accessing the right kind of support, okay?

Speaker 4:
[58:40] Yeah, we don't judge people who are having financial stress and problems.

Speaker 5:
[58:44] So guys, with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest fucking online therapy platform. It works, all right, it fucking works.

Speaker 6:
[58:51] BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you, so that you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and our over 12 years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means we can typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored recs. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help sign up and get to percent off of betterhelp.com/afpod. That's better, help.com/afpod. Let's get back in.

Speaker 5:
[59:28] Oh, dude, I got to show you my cracker.

Speaker 6:
[59:30] Oh, fuck, I forgot a cracker. Can mine be yours?

Speaker 5:
[59:33] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[59:33] Well, we have one from a topic from last week that could be your cracker that we didn't get to touch on. The intruder on the ring camera.

Speaker 6:
[59:44] Oh, yeah. No, I won't. That can be Liam's cracker. Mine is Liam's.

Speaker 5:
[59:56] Cracker of the Week.

Speaker 6:
[60:04] Cracker of the Week.

Speaker 5:
[60:07] So, this guy, just go on TikTok.

Speaker 6:
[60:09] Yeah, go on TikTok.

Speaker 5:
[60:12] I've been chronically online the last few days, and I, there's this new term called LOL cows. Have you heard this?

Speaker 6:
[60:18] Yes, it's when you watch a streamer because they suck, right?

Speaker 5:
[60:22] Yeah, or anyone. It's just someone who sucks and is not self-aware. It's like, I guess like Josh Block is kind of like an LOL cow.

Speaker 6:
[60:29] No, Josh Block is self-aware.

Speaker 5:
[60:31] Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 6:
[60:33] You know who it is? It's like the video I showed you of that stand-up who made a sketch.

Speaker 5:
[60:39] Yeah, that's an LOL cow. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great example. But the new biggest one ever is a man named Tyler Catastrophe.

Speaker 6:
[60:52] That is such a sick name. That's like Peter Parker level of hero character name. Click on it.

Speaker 5:
[61:01] Let me see.

Speaker 6:
[61:02] Is this going to bum me out?

Speaker 5:
[61:03] No. No, this is right up your alley, dude.

Speaker 2:
[61:05] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[61:07] Tyler Catastrophe, Lovejoy Audition.

Speaker 6:
[61:10] What is Lovejoy?

Speaker 5:
[61:11] Some shitty band.

Speaker 6:
[61:13] I'm only going to enjoy this if they're a bad person.

Speaker 5:
[61:16] Yeah, they're clearly something's up.

Speaker 6:
[61:18] No, but are they like bad? Or are they just autistic?

Speaker 5:
[61:23] Neither. You just got to-

Speaker 6:
[61:25] Naeva.

Speaker 7:
[61:26] One of my favorite bands might want a second vocalist, but I do know I am crazy enough to ask. So hi, Lovejoy. Do you want a second vocalist? My name is Tyler Salona. I'm 26 years old. I live in Texas, but I'm trying to move to England anyway. I'm a massive extrovert. I've been performing since I was 10, and in 2019, I was actually a semi-professional vocalist, but then had to spend almost five years getting my voice back after losing it completely because someone hit me with their car. Through the sheer force of audacious determination, I now have my voice back and my vocal stamina, which basically means that now that I can go back to music, not doing so makes everything else feel unfulfilling and sad. I figured I might as well shoot my shot. And I also play the trumpet, which is probably helpful.

Speaker 4:
[62:03] Oh my God, just sing.

Speaker 7:
[62:04] Here's Portrait of a Blank Slate, the whole thing. I hope you like it. I mean, you probably like it already.

Speaker 4:
[62:08] Oh my God, sing.

Speaker 7:
[62:09] It is your song, but I also hope you like the parts that I'm gonna do, the singing part, you know. This is a long intro for TikTok, but we can make it over here. So listen to it. It's amazing. I love this song. Shit! Anyway. He told me that much and now he's dead. Told me to kill my indulgences with a sharp blow to the temple. Pick up the phone call and do everything he says. I'm pretty cool once you get to know me.

Speaker 4:
[63:04] I can't listen to the whole song.

Speaker 6:
[63:08] Liam.

Speaker 5:
[63:08] Yes.

Speaker 6:
[63:10] This is my brother, I haven't seen him 20 years.

Speaker 5:
[63:15] Shit, really? Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[63:19] I thought his voice would be way worse.

Speaker 5:
[63:21] Yeah, it's not, I mean, it's like one note, it could be unbelievably worse. But this was just the tip of the iceberg. And then I went, and then there's just more and more videos of this dude being like the most delusional human being ever. Like there's one video where he's like, I'm related to Edgar Ampoh, King.

Speaker 6:
[63:39] Oh, it's like that level of crap.

Speaker 5:
[63:42] Yeah, he's like a child thinking he can lie. Someone commented, they're like, he thinks he's the only guy that's ever existed. Like it's like that level of mentality where he's just, I mean, there's so many more, but LOL cow is a new term I learned.

Speaker 6:
[63:57] Yeah, does cow stand for something?

Speaker 5:
[64:01] It's like-

Speaker 6:
[64:01] Cracker of the week.

Speaker 5:
[64:02] They're-

Speaker 4:
[64:05] Cracker of week.

Speaker 5:
[64:07] The crow.

Speaker 6:
[64:10] LOL crow. LOL, it's the cracker of the week.

Speaker 5:
[64:12] Oh my God. Holy shit. That's what we meant the whole time. Oh my God, good for us. But yeah, dude, this, I've been non-stop watching this person.

Speaker 6:
[64:26] Oh, cash cow that is milled for LOLs. That's sad.

Speaker 5:
[64:32] Yeah, but like, you know.

Speaker 6:
[64:34] No, I mean, it's, but- People are delusional.

Speaker 5:
[64:41] Do a deep dive on this dude's page. He also makes really bad art and talks about how he's gonna, like how much he's gonna charge it for.

Speaker 6:
[64:50] Oh, really bad art, so you enjoy it?

Speaker 5:
[64:52] He makes horrible art, and he's like, this is $8,000. Nobody will buy it. What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 6:
[64:56] If nobody will buy it, it's really good art.

Speaker 5:
[64:58] We should buy one of his pieces, honestly.

Speaker 6:
[65:00] I'm so confused.

Speaker 4:
[65:02] I'm like, he makes jewelry.

Speaker 5:
[65:03] Yeah. Anyways-

Speaker 4:
[65:05] I think it's pretty good.

Speaker 5:
[65:06] He's my new guy.

Speaker 4:
[65:07] Wait, his jewelry is like, good.

Speaker 5:
[65:10] It's- yeah. I mean, there's just so much. That's why he's such a fascinating guy. Once you get to know me, what's in there?

Speaker 6:
[65:18] Should I do my character? Yeah. All right. Here's my character. I didn't think of names.

Speaker 5:
[65:29] I'll be Blade.

Speaker 6:
[65:30] No.

Speaker 1:
[65:31] Okay.

Speaker 6:
[65:31] You will be-

Speaker 5:
[65:33] Blade.

Speaker 6:
[65:34] I'm a caricature artist. You and your girlfriend, come sit down.

Speaker 1:
[65:41] Hi.

Speaker 6:
[65:41] How are you guys doing?

Speaker 4:
[65:42] Hi.

Speaker 5:
[65:43] Blade, sit down. I'm so excited about this.

Speaker 6:
[65:47] Yeah. How are you guys?

Speaker 4:
[65:48] Good.

Speaker 6:
[65:49] You guys ever had one of these done before?

Speaker 4:
[65:50] No.

Speaker 5:
[65:50] This is our first time.

Speaker 6:
[65:52] Did you pay the $20 on the QR code?

Speaker 5:
[65:54] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[65:55] Okay. Cool.

Speaker 6:
[65:56] Great. I forgot my easel and pen and pencil and stuff. Do you guys want me to just tell you what looks weird?

Speaker 5:
[66:07] Sorry. What?

Speaker 6:
[66:08] I forgot my stuff, but I can still just tell you what I was going to do. You have a big forehead, so I was going to make your ears would be long. I would do big nipples and your mustache doesn't work, and I would just make your head big.

Speaker 4:
[66:30] When did you see his nipples?

Speaker 6:
[66:31] I would do your thighs. I'm assuming you're insecure about those. I would probably make those really small, and then your hips I would make bigger.

Speaker 5:
[66:41] How do you know all this?

Speaker 6:
[66:42] I'm just looking at you based on like...

Speaker 5:
[66:44] I'm in a wheelchair and there's a blanket over me. How do you know all this?

Speaker 6:
[66:47] I'm just thinking in my head what I'm laughing at about you, because that's what I would just draw. Anyway, weird teeth, like you don't have pretty teeth.

Speaker 5:
[66:55] Yes, you do, Blade, yes, you do.

Speaker 6:
[66:57] Well, if she got the drawing, you'd be like, I'm just saying I would do like weird teeth.

Speaker 5:
[67:02] What do we pay for then?

Speaker 6:
[67:05] Well, I mean, you're paying for me to make fun of the character of-

Speaker 4:
[67:08] No, we were paying for the drawing. We wanted to frame it in our home.

Speaker 5:
[67:10] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[67:11] Our new home.

Speaker 6:
[67:12] I know, and I forgot my shit. And you know what? I already said that. So maybe I'll do a tiny little brain for you. Hey, man. I'll do a tiny little walnut brain with no grooves on it. Amen.

Speaker 5:
[67:20] Don't speak to my fucking girlfriend that way.

Speaker 6:
[67:21] What are you going to do? Get up and fight me.

Speaker 1:
[67:23] Oh, you can't.

Speaker 5:
[67:26] You're the devil.

Speaker 1:
[67:27] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[67:27] You're the devil. Roll me into him. Roll me into his ankles as hard as you can.

Speaker 1:
[67:33] Good. Do it. All right.

Speaker 6:
[67:35] That's great.

Speaker 1:
[67:36] That's great.

Speaker 5:
[67:39] That's fantastic.

Speaker 1:
[67:41] Uh, I do have a big forehead, though.

Speaker 6:
[67:45] No, no, you don't.

Speaker 4:
[67:47] I think I do. Do you have a little character care?

Speaker 5:
[67:50] Yes, I do. Um, let me grab my things.

Speaker 4:
[67:55] I get nervous when he pulls out a prop.

Speaker 6:
[67:58] I get nervous.

Speaker 5:
[68:00] Okay. My name is Philip, your name is Curb Stomp. I'm your roommate and, uh, someone tried to flush an entire roll of paper towels down your toilet and it wasn't you and you're going to confront me about it.

Speaker 6:
[68:15] All right. Hey, uh, Philip.

Speaker 5:
[68:19] Yo.

Speaker 6:
[68:19] Dude, my toilet is...

Speaker 5:
[68:20] One sec, sorry.

Speaker 6:
[68:21] My toilet is completely.

Speaker 5:
[68:23] One sec, sorry. One second.

Speaker 6:
[68:30] What is this? What is happening? Can you pause that, please? I'm trying to talk to you. Someone flushed a roll of toilet paper, a roll of paper towels down my toilet, a full roll, and it wasn't, stop, stop.

Speaker 5:
[68:54] It was me.

Speaker 6:
[68:55] What?

Speaker 5:
[68:56] It was me.

Speaker 6:
[68:57] Okay, I figured that. Can you please unclog it?

Speaker 5:
[69:00] Hold on, watch this. What are you saying?

Speaker 6:
[69:13] Unclog it.

Speaker 5:
[69:14] Unclog what?

Speaker 6:
[69:15] My toilet.

Speaker 5:
[69:17] Why?

Speaker 6:
[69:18] Are you, yeah. So these actually, they're kissing, I don't understand what, you're making them kiss. Is it supposed to be me or you or what? Who, I don't understand what you... Please unclog it.

Speaker 5:
[69:42] Unclog what?

Speaker 6:
[69:43] My toilet.

Speaker 5:
[69:46] Okay. I will, no problem. That's it.

Speaker 4:
[70:06] Liam, I'm gonna kill you if that gets copyrighted. We'll have to post it on Instagram if it does.

Speaker 5:
[70:11] I think if I play it off my phone, right? That's not how it works at all. But I've done it before.

Speaker 4:
[70:16] I know, and we've had to cut some of them.

Speaker 5:
[70:18] No, no, no, I've done characters where I've played off my phone before, and it's no problem.

Speaker 6:
[70:22] Well, that's not how that works, though.

Speaker 4:
[70:23] Huh? Playing it off your phone doesn't, it's still the song.

Speaker 6:
[70:28] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[70:29] It's like if I were to shazam it off of your phone, it would still catch it.

Speaker 5:
[70:33] Fine, but I mean, that's it. That's all I got.

Speaker 6:
[70:35] All right. Well, if you really want to see Liam's character, you have to go watch it on Instagram.

Speaker 4:
[70:40] I have a character premise.

Speaker 5:
[70:42] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[70:42] As I said, I would try and get back into it.

Speaker 6:
[70:44] Well, you have to do it.

Speaker 4:
[70:45] No, no, no. I know. I just, here's where it stops for me, is that I don't have an ending for it, or I just have a small idea.

Speaker 6:
[70:54] None of these ever happen.

Speaker 4:
[70:55] But then I realize, like you guys have been doing that a lot lately, so I'm just going to try it, and if it sucks, either we cut it or we leave it and everyone laughs at me.

Speaker 6:
[71:03] Right.

Speaker 4:
[71:03] Because I don't care.

Speaker 6:
[71:05] Fair enough.

Speaker 4:
[71:06] Okay. I need to think of names. Who wants to do this one? Actually, let me pick someone.

Speaker 6:
[71:16] You have to be the one. You do it.

Speaker 4:
[71:17] No, no, no. I know. But it's only one of you. But you could be the friend sitting there.

Speaker 6:
[71:23] I'll do Liam. I'll be friend sitting there.

Speaker 4:
[71:24] Okay. Your name is Jackson Stoke.

Speaker 6:
[71:31] Cool.

Speaker 4:
[71:31] I'm your mom calling you. You're on your way to stage coach this weekend. Got to keep things relevant. Can't say Coachella.

Speaker 6:
[71:41] Right.

Speaker 4:
[71:42] Okay. So I'm calling you.

Speaker 1:
[71:44] Hi, honey. How are you?

Speaker 5:
[71:47] Good. What's up, mom?

Speaker 4:
[71:49] I just wanted to call before you got to stage coach. Are you excited?

Speaker 5:
[71:55] Yep.

Speaker 4:
[71:55] All right. Well, I packed electrolytes in your boots. Make sure you leave them in there and don't forget to drink them because you got to stay hydrated out there in the desert.

Speaker 5:
[72:04] I know, mom. Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[72:06] I know you're excited for Post Malone, but just make sure you drink those electrolytes so you don't faint at a sip.

Speaker 5:
[72:13] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[72:14] Okay. And you know what? And don't let me find out that you went raw dogging out there without a bandana for the fucking dust that's all up in there, because that actually ruined your urine last year, and we couldn't use it for your father's drug test. And we are a team, Jackson. We are a team and you need to be using a bandana out there.

Speaker 5:
[72:38] What?

Speaker 1:
[72:42] What, mom?

Speaker 4:
[72:44] I want you to use a bandana so that you don't get dust up your nasals.

Speaker 5:
[72:49] How would that affect my piss?

Speaker 4:
[72:51] Because the dust gets into your brain and into your colon, and then right into your piss, and it turns all cloudy.

Speaker 5:
[73:00] All right.

Speaker 4:
[73:01] And that's why I'm telling you to drink electrolytes to wash everything out of your body.

Speaker 5:
[73:09] All right, mom, you're on speaker. All my friends are in the car. This is a little uncomfortable.

Speaker 6:
[73:13] Hi, Mrs. Crenkus.

Speaker 5:
[73:15] Oh. Stoke.

Speaker 6:
[73:16] Hi, Mrs. Stoke.

Speaker 4:
[73:17] It's Mrs. Stoke to you. Yeah, no worries. I just wanted to let my son know that we are a family and we are a team.

Speaker 5:
[73:26] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[73:26] And you guys make sure he has a bandana, and don't forget your bandanas too, because you don't know what your parents are using your piss for.

Speaker 6:
[73:32] Mrs. Stoke, I did what you asked, and I pissed in like a gallon jar, and I put it in my fridge before I left.

Speaker 4:
[73:38] No, no, no. Mr. Cullagh. You're not supposed to tell my son that.

Speaker 6:
[73:45] Oh.

Speaker 5:
[73:46] Why not?

Speaker 4:
[73:50] Because we need a lot more than a gallon, and I still need him to use a bandana.

Speaker 5:
[73:56] Mom, are you taking a shit right now? I hear plopping into a toilet.

Speaker 4:
[74:02] It doesn't matter what I'm doing on the other end, honey. Just make sure, all I need you to know, all I need you to do is have a safe weekend at stage, coach. All right? And just remember that you and your family, you're a team, and you got to look out for your father, all right? He's got to pass this drug test.

Speaker 6:
[74:19] Miss Stoke?

Speaker 4:
[74:21] Yes, sweetheart.

Speaker 6:
[74:23] Can I tell him about the drugs?

Speaker 4:
[74:25] No, you can't. No, you can't. We are also a team, but we are a separate team, all right? All right, we are a separate team. There are two teams going on here, and they are not the same.

Speaker 6:
[74:36] Okay. So does that mean the gallon of blood is off limits as well?

Speaker 4:
[74:41] I don't know what you're talking about, sweetheart. I got to go finish taking this shit, so I got to hang up now, sweetheart.

Speaker 5:
[74:46] Yay, mom.

Speaker 4:
[74:47] Be safe, y'all. I love you.

Speaker 5:
[74:49] All right, love you, mom. Take it easy.

Speaker 6:
[74:51] Your mom gives me sex for the clean piss and piss.

Speaker 5:
[74:54] I know. I know my mom gives everyone fricking sex for this shit. She gives it to me too.

Speaker 6:
[74:59] She's cool, dude. You got a cool mom.

Speaker 5:
[75:02] Oh, God. A moose.

Speaker 6:
[75:06] No, Emily, I love that character, but Miley, what is the bandana?

Speaker 5:
[75:11] I have no notes.

Speaker 4:
[75:12] Yeah, I don't have.

Speaker 5:
[75:14] That was fucking fantastic.

Speaker 6:
[75:15] Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 4:
[75:16] I just was like.

Speaker 6:
[75:17] Did you think of that?

Speaker 4:
[75:19] Yeah. I was just thinking about, because I was thinking about the fact that Liam has been doing some characters that are relevant to something he saw or did. And I was like, that has to be my starting point. So I was like, what could I do about-

Speaker 6:
[75:36] Well, art imitates life, which is interesting.

Speaker 4:
[75:38] Right. And I have the smallest idea for that. And I was like, I feel like they'll just go with it. And that's what improv is all about.

Speaker 5:
[75:47] Right, right, and right.

Speaker 6:
[75:49] Emily, that was some of your best work. No joke.

Speaker 5:
[75:51] Some of your best work, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[75:52] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[75:53] Okay. Well, because-

Speaker 6:
[75:54] It's really funny.

Speaker 4:
[75:55] Because you said that, maybe you'll start trying to do.

Speaker 6:
[75:57] If you want.

Speaker 5:
[75:58] I would love if you brought in some.

Speaker 6:
[75:59] Yeah, that would be fun.

Speaker 4:
[76:01] I just get nervous.

Speaker 6:
[76:03] Well, think about how many bad characters we've done.

Speaker 4:
[76:05] I know that's kind of why I'm like, all right.

Speaker 6:
[76:06] No, you're supposed to be like, you guys have never done a bad character, and we're supposed to go, thank you. You don't really mean that. We've done bad ones. You go, no, there's always some shred of hilarious-

Speaker 4:
[76:13] I would never lie to you guys.

Speaker 6:
[76:15] It's true.

Speaker 4:
[76:16] Because you want to know what happens when you lie. It's easy to find out.

Speaker 5:
[76:20] It's easy to find out when there are lies.

Speaker 6:
[76:24] That's our episode, guys. Thanks for listening.

Speaker 5:
[76:26] Thank you for listening, guys. I'd also just like to remind everyone that we have a live sketch show in Irvine April 30th, and we have another live sketch show. The Netflix Is A Joke Festival.

Speaker 6:
[76:36] And those are going to be the same shows. So I wouldn't go to both if I were you.

Speaker 5:
[76:41] Yep.

Speaker 6:
[76:42] Unless you really want to see it again.

Speaker 5:
[76:43] And then in May, guys, I'm in Tacoma, May 8th and 9th, and then I am in Appleton, Wisconsin, the 21st, and through the 23rd. And then I have my buddy Murph's bachelor party.

Speaker 4:
[76:56] Can't come to that.

Speaker 5:
[76:57] May 28th to the 31st.

Speaker 6:
[76:59] Which you're not coming back from, knowing you're crazy ass. Great.

Speaker 4:
[77:04] And then June 2nd, we got a little premiere happening for Will's show. So go watch it. On Hulu.

Speaker 6:
[77:12] Say that.

Speaker 4:
[77:13] On Hulu, go watch it.

Speaker 6:
[77:14] Say that.

Speaker 4:
[77:15] I'm so excited.

Speaker 6:
[77:16] Say that.

Speaker 4:
[77:17] Period queen. Thank you.