transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Mother is believing. We are from Arkansas, no. We're on episode 174, and the letter W in our ABC book. So for W, we're doing Wigtails.

Speaker 2:
[00:47] Good one, really good one.

Speaker 1:
[00:48] It's, I mean, how else are they gonna know it's a girl? There's no other way. Well, I guess the skirt. But like, if they're like, you know, kind of like wrapped up in a blanket, then how are you supposed to know?

Speaker 2:
[01:01] Who's gonna know?

Speaker 1:
[01:02] Yeah, so that's why you need the Wigtails, that's gender affirming from the womb. All right, so I have an update that probably nobody else cares about but me. But in last week's episode, when Michael like cracked and dropped the egg, and then they had the shot of the worker calling for a cleanup on aisle five.

Speaker 2:
[01:25] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[01:25] I was like, is it really on aisle five? Because that feels like such a line, like it's become such a thing. At the time, I had gone back and I was trying to see, and you could see the bottom portion of the sign of the aisle, but I could not see the very, very tippy top.

Speaker 2:
[01:41] Like the number.

Speaker 1:
[01:42] But then when I was going back through the episode to get visuals, earlier, I didn't go as far back in the moment when I was trying to figure it back. Earlier before he actually does the whole egg thing, you see them entering onto aisle five, and it says that on aisle five is the cereals, and behind them is the cereal. So they were indeed on aisle five.

Speaker 2:
[02:07] So what you're saying is RC Cooper, the employee that called for a cleanup, was not lying.

Speaker 1:
[02:15] He was not. They did not set it up. Because I was like, I wonder if this is a little bit of a setup, or were they really on aisle five? They were just like, can you just call a thing?

Speaker 2:
[02:23] So there's no reason to besmirch RC Cooper's fine name on this program.

Speaker 1:
[02:28] They really were on aisle five. And nobody else cares, but I thought I'd let you know anyway.

Speaker 2:
[02:34] Which also ties into my digging on from last week. Nobody cares about that but you.

Speaker 1:
[02:39] That's true.

Speaker 2:
[02:40] Technically, these three onions count as one item.

Speaker 1:
[02:43] Yes. Let's go to do a little bit of a Mildred Minute.

Speaker 2:
[02:48] We're going to the Mildred Minute desk.

Speaker 1:
[02:49] So Little Mildred, as you guys have heard, Little Mildred has many jobs. Obviously, she's a producer. She's in pest control. I mean, I can't even think of him right now. I'm blanking.

Speaker 2:
[03:04] I mean, she makes coffee in the morning. She's our coffee helper.

Speaker 1:
[03:08] She's a parista.

Speaker 2:
[03:09] Yes, a parista.

Speaker 1:
[03:10] She's a parista. She has so many jobs. I think there's one job that I don't think I've told you guys about. She runs the printing department of this house, this household, and this family.

Speaker 2:
[03:22] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[03:24] Back in the day when I used to sell vintage online, which I don't anymore, the packing shipping got to be too much. But back in those days, she was always there for the printing of the labels. She didn't really have much to do with the packing, but she was there for the printing, always. She is also always there for the printing of my podcast papers. You could say, okay, that's producer, but I also just think in general, she takes printing very seriously. She will be nowhere around, and then I move the laptop, because usually the laptop is in her room, but then I go to the office to hook it up to the printer to print it, and I'll be doing that, and all of a sudden, I saw her nowhere along my travels to the room. I didn't even see her. She was off somewhere, and then she'll just walk in, and she's like, I'll turn around to get it turned on. Sometimes I'm always having to switch out the ink, because I go through ink in 10 fucking seconds. So I'll be putting in a new ink cartridge, and I turn around, she's standing on the laptop, because she showed up for printing duties. Last week when I went to print, I was like, oh, she's not here. Okay, she's like taking a nap. And I was like, okay. And then I had my back, like I'm facing the printer, and I thought I heard a noise, but I didn't turn around. And then it was clear that I really did hear it, because she went, and I turn around and there she is standing there. She seemed pissed that I was printing without her.

Speaker 2:
[05:03] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[05:04] And then it just happened again, which Tim got to experience at this time.

Speaker 2:
[05:08] And I do think it's funny, because as we were making the joke that Mildred was nowhere to be found, and then Whitney had set up the printer, turned it on, was kind of starting to print, and forgot to plug the printer into the laptop. And when I made the joke, I was like, see, that's what happens when we do this without the manager. And then, of course, we hear, literally, she literally came in and was like, oh, oh, seems like you can't really do this job without the printing manager.

Speaker 1:
[05:39] So it's like, because I was like, what's happening? Oh, I didn't plug it in. So we're like, ha ha ha, because she was totally passed out in her carrier.

Speaker 2:
[05:47] For an hour, for like over an hour, she was done.

Speaker 1:
[05:51] Literally, the second I was like, oh, I need to plug it in, and then she shows up. Like she will jump up, like she seems annoyed when I am printing without her.

Speaker 2:
[06:01] She takes it seriously.

Speaker 1:
[06:02] So all right, so that was just something I thought I needed to share because she takes it seriously, and it's one of her many, many jobs.

Speaker 2:
[06:11] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[06:12] All right, so another thing, we got little orders, we have business going on here. So the four year anniversary of the podcast is coming up. The day that this episode releases, it will be the 23rd, and our very first episode dropped the 26th of April back in 2022.

Speaker 2:
[06:29] It's so weird to think about.

Speaker 1:
[06:31] You all know I love a chance to celebrate things, including podcast anniversaries and milestones. So I knew I wanted to do something again. Last year, I did the Jess Who game, and while I have other versions of the game that I want to do, I wasn't going to have time for that this year. I knew that this anniversary was going to be falling at a time that was very hectic and I wouldn't have the time to devote to making another one. So I started thinking about other options that wouldn't take a lot of time or work, like on my part. So I have a little podcast anniversary gift here that I want Tim to open right now on mic.

Speaker 2:
[07:11] Woo, live but kind of not live. Would you like to...

Speaker 1:
[07:25] Get the other, there's another. There's two things.

Speaker 2:
[07:31] Oh, the bib dress is so good. All right, why don't you regale our fans?

Speaker 1:
[07:37] So they are Jim Bob and Michelle, frowny face dolls. So if you're not familiar with frowny face dolls, I was first introduced to them, I wanna say 2023, maybe it could have even been 2022, but the reason I even was introduced to them is because the artist is Rebecca. Rebecca had made a Michelle one, and then people started tagging me in it and sending it to me. So that was how I first learned of them, and then I've been following the Instagram frowny face dolls ever since. So they're made out of socks, and they're made to look like people, and then they always have a frowny face. That's the whole point. And then you can have custom ones. So like she'll make ones that you think, it seems like sometimes she makes ones that she wants to, but then also you can ask her to make custom ones.

Speaker 2:
[08:30] Right.

Speaker 1:
[08:31] And so I was like, I don't have a lot of time to do something myself for this anniversary. So I reached out to her. I was ahead of the game. So like in February, I was reaching out and come to find out, she's like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with the Duggars. And I'm like, great, even better because you know, like you know this. Like I knew she did because she'd done a Michelle doll before, but I was like, great. So like, you know. And she was like, okay, do you want, and I explained to her, I'm like, for the anniversary of the podcast and everything. And she's like, okay, great. And she's like, do you have any outfit requests? And I was like, nope. I'm like, I trust that you will pick the perfect. So there is a bib on Michelle.

Speaker 2:
[09:09] Oh, the bib dress is so perfect.

Speaker 1:
[09:11] And then he's got like a flannel, like in his little, is that khaki pants?

Speaker 2:
[09:16] Little khaki pants, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:18] And I, okay, so I got to explain. So I was so excited about them. And then when I could like confirm that they like arrived and everything like that, I didn't open them at first because I was like, oh, I think I'm trying to decide like, do I want to be open it with you? Or do I want to open it just like right before?

Speaker 2:
[09:36] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[09:37] But I'm like, I think I do want to see it before you, but I think I wanted to wait so it would still feel like special for me. So I reached out to her in February, because I didn't know the turnaround time, and she worked a little bit faster than I thought she would for two custom pieces, and I received them days before everything happened with Joe. Then I was like, this feels like a real bad time to have a Jim Bob and Michelle doll. Yeah. So I started to go like, oh no, or like whatever, but I already bought them. I don't regret buying them.

Speaker 2:
[10:13] No.

Speaker 1:
[10:14] I don't regret. Then I'm reminding myself, satirical art is a real thing. It is how people cope, it is how we do things, and I'm like, this is satire.

Speaker 2:
[10:26] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[10:27] So I was like, oh man, this just feels like really bad timing, but I decided to just gift them to the podcast anyway.

Speaker 2:
[10:35] It's so funny.

Speaker 1:
[10:36] Because they're great, and she did an amazing job.

Speaker 2:
[10:39] Oh yeah, they're so good. The hair is good.

Speaker 1:
[10:41] His side part, she's got her crunchy curl hair. He's got a heavy side part.

Speaker 2:
[10:47] Hey, hey.

Speaker 1:
[10:48] Obviously, this is going in visuals for this week. But I was just like, man, the timing just, but I don't regret it, I love them.

Speaker 2:
[10:58] They're so well done.

Speaker 1:
[10:59] It's satire, guys, satire.

Speaker 2:
[11:01] Oh, man. Happy anniversary, honey.

Speaker 1:
[11:05] So thank you, Rebecca, at Frowny Face Dolls for your amazing work.

Speaker 2:
[11:09] Nicely done, Rebecca.

Speaker 1:
[11:11] Also, this is the only time Michelle's ever been allowed to frown. I mean, literally, there's entire teachings in IBLP about you got to smile.

Speaker 2:
[11:20] Yeah. You don't want to think she's discouraged.

Speaker 1:
[11:22] Yeah. It's a ministry smile. We talked about the types of smiles, we did the whole thing. Michelle has never been able to frown before, so in fact, I think the tag on it says something along those lines. Read the little tag.

Speaker 2:
[11:36] The tag actually says, you're not happy all the time, why should your doll be? It's true.

Speaker 1:
[11:43] This is the only time you might ever see Michelle frowning.

Speaker 2:
[11:46] These dolls look a little discouraged.

Speaker 1:
[11:49] These dolls definitely look discouraged.

Speaker 2:
[11:53] It's funny.

Speaker 1:
[11:55] All right. Are you ready to start recapping?

Speaker 2:
[11:57] Let's do it.

Speaker 1:
[11:59] Today, we're recapping the episode Thrill-Seeking Duggars, which premiered October 16th of 2012. The episode opens at the Tater Tot Mansion, where a bunch of boxes, plastic, foam, and other packing materials are strewn all across the lobby of the Tater Tot Mansion. Because that's what it is. It's like a lobby.

Speaker 2:
[12:18] It feels like a lobby, yes.

Speaker 1:
[12:21] A bunch of them are assembling stools, and I noticed, including Jonathan, because they got to get the work out of them.

Speaker 2:
[12:29] Free labor.

Speaker 1:
[12:29] If you're staying at their house, you're part of the family, you got to work. Did you notice how James E. Bug is oddly overdressed?

Speaker 2:
[12:39] He looks like a trumpet player in a jazz combo.

Speaker 1:
[12:42] Everybody else is in normal everyday attire, and James is rocking dress pants, dress shoes, a button-up, a sweater vest, a bow tie, and a black fedora.

Speaker 2:
[12:57] Yeah. He has a gig at the Blue Note this afternoon.

Speaker 1:
[13:00] He really does. I kept trying to figure out, I'm like, are we going to find out why he's dressed? No. I think he's just, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[13:08] When you were in high school, did you ever have that one kid that overdressed a lot? We had one guy that I actually went to school with from elementary school up through high school, and he was just unlike the regular, he would get very dressed up for school, which I'm like, good on you. Nobody gave him shit about it, but I was always like, that's the guy that's meticulously dressed for a Tuesday to go to a physics class.

Speaker 1:
[13:34] So James was the one that showed up for school around the dining room table overdressed.

Speaker 2:
[13:39] Overdressed, yes.

Speaker 1:
[13:41] The reason they're putting the stools together is because they need more seating because they're having the Vanderhoffs over for dinner. Which, I mean, I was like, well, Vanderhoffs and other gigantic families like the Bates have been to their house numerous times before. So I'm like, why now all of a sudden do you need more seating? I guess it's because there's even more people. I'll get to the other people are going to be there. But then I'm also like, don't you have like fucking church at your house? Like, why now are you like, oh, I guess we need more seat. I guess I just don't understand that they have people over all the fucking time. Yeah. Now all of a sudden they're like, maybe we should have some more seating.

Speaker 2:
[14:16] Right. I'm just saying the way that they were opening those boxes, I don't know if those seats were used. I'm just going to say.

Speaker 1:
[14:23] They were looking pretty new to me.

Speaker 2:
[14:24] They were looking real new.

Speaker 1:
[14:26] So between the J. Crew and the Hoffs, my mind has been calling them the Hoffs because they're the Vanderhoffs. It's just faster. So the J. Crew and the Hoffs, between them, it's 43 people. Plus they have the additional labor pool, that is Jonathan and Jennifer Hartono. Then there's another brother-sister duo. This time, they are Ernesto and Alicia Gomez. They really like to prey on those sibling duos. They're like, oh great, there's two of you? Come on.

Speaker 2:
[15:00] Perfect.

Speaker 1:
[15:01] Then there's also a friend named Ashton Brown as well. Ashton is exactly the kind of friend that the Duggars love having around. The kind that provides them free labor. In fact, offers it up.

Speaker 2:
[15:14] Offers it, yes.

Speaker 1:
[15:16] So Ashton volunteered to make dinner because she likes to cook. Then Jana reminded her that the Van Der Hoffs were coming over. But Ashton said that she still was willing to do it.

Speaker 2:
[15:27] It's a lot of people.

Speaker 1:
[15:29] So we see lots of cans of cream of chicken. She knows what they like. We see cream of chicken being cracked open and jiggled free from their cans. Because she was making chicken in a biscuit. So it was dough filled with, it looked like crescent dough.

Speaker 2:
[15:48] Yeah. Because they were in triangles.

Speaker 1:
[15:51] Filled with chicken and cheese and then topped with a mixture of milk and cream of chicken soup. But it was regular milk from the gallon, not sweetened condensed milk.

Speaker 2:
[16:04] They're all interchangeable, right?

Speaker 1:
[16:06] I just wonder if some of the Duggar kids ate it and they're like, this tastes funny because it's not sweet.

Speaker 2:
[16:11] Because it's not hyper sweet.

Speaker 1:
[16:12] They're like, when do you have cream of chicken soup when it's not sweet? Tastes funny. The Vander Hoffs arrive, and per usual, Lego was the one who opens the door. There's a bunch of heys. No hey-hey, but just heys.

Speaker 2:
[16:31] Correct.

Speaker 1:
[16:31] Hey, to like, so lots of heys exchange, and then two cell phone belt clips and one tight shot because Mr. Hoff is rocking one as well. It's also one of the Vander Hoff girls, 13th birthday, so they've decorated a bit for it. One part that's funny is as they're going through the serving line, Cracker Justin is next to a really cute little Hoff kid. He was really cute.

Speaker 2:
[17:01] Oh, yes.

Speaker 1:
[17:02] Justin is scooping some of the entree onto his plate and says, chicken and a biscuit. Then the little Vander Hoff boy asks, what is that? To which Justin says, it's chicken and a biscuit. Then the boy says, wow, I like biscuits.

Speaker 2:
[17:19] Cute.

Speaker 1:
[17:19] Justin said, so do I. It was just a funny kid exchange. Justin's not wrong. It is indeed chicken and a biscuit. He's not wrong. It's chicken and a biscuit. What is it? It's chicken and a biscuit. The little boy was so cute though too.

Speaker 2:
[17:36] He was cute.

Speaker 1:
[17:37] He was really cute. Do you have anything else from this whole Vanderhoff dinner? Anything?

Speaker 2:
[17:42] The only thing I had was there was an impromptu little question and answer with the father of the Vanderhoffs. Hudson. He did say that they enjoy coming over to visit the Duggars because they always feel very encouraged by them.

Speaker 1:
[18:02] He says they're an encouragement to them.

Speaker 2:
[18:05] Yes. It's not a bingo square, but now it's starting to wave that flag every time I hear it. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[18:13] Coming back from a break, Ginger is shown fully dressed and ready for the day as she's trying to wake up. Jennifer and Hanny, because they're going to their favorite place, Silver Dollar City. Okay. I debated, Duggars don't do mornings only because we're just not doing great with the bingo squares lately. It wasn't excruciatingly, but there's something about her being fully dressed and trying to get them up, that I felt like it was like a borderline Duggars don't do morning.

Speaker 2:
[18:41] Yeah. I think we can count it.

Speaker 1:
[18:43] Okay. You've brought up a couple of times recently how Cracker Justin is a bit of a cartoon character. At one point, while Jill is doing an on-the-fly interview, talking to the camera about them getting ready and that everybody eating before they go. Behind her, Justin has a pot of Raymond noodles, and he picks up a big pile of the noodles on a fork, and pretends to be going to eat the giant fork full of it. I was just in line with everything you've been saying about him recently.

Speaker 2:
[19:16] Maybe it's just the era he's in, but yeah, it's very funny to watch him, and a lot of times it's just in the background. Like I told you in the last one, where he just has that giant hunk of Rice Krispie Treat and he's just munching. He's not being interviewed or anything, but it's funny to watch him in the background.

Speaker 1:
[19:34] One thing that I haven't mentioned, but now that it's come up two episodes back to back, so I'm just going to bring it up even though nobody cares. But I got to admit, my vintage love myself loves that they use Visionware pots.

Speaker 2:
[19:48] Yeah. We had one when I was a kid.

Speaker 1:
[19:52] They're those for people who don't know. It's like the glass see-through-ish pots. These are the amber ones. There was some other colors as well, but I feel like the amber ones are like the classic. They used them in the last episode for melting down the chocolate frosting. Joy had it when she was pouring it over the cake, and then now that's what he's eating his ramen noodles out of. Then we even see Jonathan sitting on one of the stools at the counter, and he's eating noodles straight from a Visionware pot as well.

Speaker 2:
[20:21] The one that they were eating out of is the one that I had as a kid, or I guess my parents had when I was a kid. But I do have memories of my mom hard-boiling eggs in them, because then I could see all the bubbles, and I like to stand and watch it because it was cool that you could see everything in there, and you'd see the eggs slightly moving. I remember being a little kid and being fascinated by that.

Speaker 1:
[20:45] I have a couple of them in my room of shame, the room that I has all the vintage stuff that I plan to resell. But I'm looking at them like I think I might want to keep them. They're cool. As our little saucepots and stuff, just like the little saucepots, like the one in the show.

Speaker 2:
[21:04] Before we move on as well, I actually have one more. Now that I'm not in a kitchen, there's something about the feeling and sound of opening up a convection oven, like a professional convection oven, where you open that door, there's a very specific sound to the clips that let you open it, and then hearing the fan kick on or turn off, and then feeling the heat. There's just something where when their friend was putting the chicken in a biscuit into the oven, it scratched an itch that I haven't felt in a long time.

Speaker 1:
[21:44] It's an old bludgeon.

Speaker 2:
[21:45] I know exactly. It legitimately is the model that I've used most of my career.

Speaker 1:
[21:49] Every single fucking kitchen I've ever worked in.

Speaker 2:
[21:51] Yes. It hit me hard just because that isn't my life anymore.

Speaker 1:
[21:58] It's a really gigantic group of them that are going to Silver Dollar City. Fifty of them. No Vanderhoffs though, but also Josh and Anna, Amy. I see Deanna in the background at the house, but then I didn't really notice her at the park, so I'm not sure if she went or was just dropping her. I don't know. Definitely Josh, Anna, Amy, the Hartonos, the Gomez's, the Queerys, and then also the Carson's and the Swice Goods are all going. I don't recognize the last two from anything previous. Maybe they've been around in the background, but those aren't really names I recognize or anything. We know the Queerys are there a lot, and we know that the Queery mom, Debbie, she's a widow, but apparently those other two families are also single mom families as well.

Speaker 2:
[22:49] Yeah, Lego Hair mentioned that in one of the clips.

Speaker 1:
[22:53] As they're loading up, we get a honking square. But there is a new culprit behind the wheel. Actually, two. Two culprits. Because Cracker Justin is seated in the driver's seat holding baby Michael out in front of him, and he's using Michael's butt to honk the horn.

Speaker 2:
[23:16] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[23:17] Like lifting him up and down to honk the horn with his butt. So I was like, well, this isn't quite as grating as before.

Speaker 2:
[23:25] If you remember the Disney cartoon of The Jungle Book, when the monkeys are trying to steal Mowgli from Baloo, and it's him running to the left holding Mowgli by the hips, and he's carrying him straight out. That's what it felt like.

Speaker 1:
[23:46] When they arrive at Silver Dollar City, they stop to put on sunscreen. My only comment on this is that Lego moves so frantically when he does it. You'd think he'd be used to spraying things the way that he unloads cans of hairspray daily. And yet he still moves in this very frantic and unnatural way about it as if it's the first time every time. I'm like, move a little slower. He moves so fast and I'm like, just because you're spraying doesn't mean you have to go back and forth. You can just lightly oscillate. It's just so frantic.

Speaker 2:
[24:22] Justin's the cartoon character here. We don't need you to start that shit.

Speaker 1:
[24:26] And he gets it in one of their mouth and he's like, oh, don't eat it. And they're like, in my eyes or something like that. It's like all of them, we've never done this before. They're not little anymore. I'm like, you should have this handled by now.

Speaker 2:
[24:38] Yeah, it was a mess.

Speaker 1:
[24:40] So Debbie Queery is afraid of roller coasters and they kind of pressure her to go on one and she ends up doing just fine. They kind of play it up like it's going to be this thing.

Speaker 2:
[24:49] This big thing, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[24:50] And then it ends up being fine. So all of the tension had been on her and her fear of roller coasters, when actually it turns out that this Tiffany Carson is the one who ended up being utterly terrified. After she gets off the roller coaster, she says that it was horrible, and she was wiping her eyes a little bit, like maybe she had been crying a little.

Speaker 2:
[25:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:14] Lego said she didn't realize it was a roller coaster until it started going up the steep hill, which I was a little confused about that at first. I was like, how did she not realize that this was a roller coaster?

Speaker 2:
[25:25] Right.

Speaker 1:
[25:27] But then as time goes on, it seems like Lego hair downplayed it to her a lot, so that she didn't really understand what she was fully getting herself into.

Speaker 2:
[25:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:37] That's the vibe that I was picking up on.

Speaker 2:
[25:39] I can definitely see that.

Speaker 1:
[25:41] She said things to him like, you told me it was going to be slow and then never again, you're not going to convince me ever again. I think he downplayed it and set her up like the asshole that he is.

Speaker 2:
[25:55] It's definitely on brand.

Speaker 1:
[25:57] Then he said, I felt really bad about Tiffany. Did you? Did you feel really bad? I felt really bad about Tiffany. Because I thought it would just be kind of fun, but she was literally scared to death. Sounds like Jim Bob Duggar. Yeah. He thought it was just going to be fun, funny, whatever and it's like, oh, actually she was really scared. Oh, because you're a giant fucking asshole. The same type of behavior continues because he also said, At one point, grandma got on the electro spin ride, where while it's spinning, it goes on this ramp back and forth. I was really concerned for her. But before that, they showed him saying, Mom, you want to do it? Well, motioning her to come over, beckoning her. He claims he was really concerned for her, but he called her over to do it. But again, very on brand for him. Act really concerned about something while being behind it all. That's very Jim Bob Duggar. Grandma says she wasn't really concerned about the actual ride itself as much as she was worried about having just eaten lunch right before. Then it cuts to Lego sitting right next to grandma on the ride saying, this is not something you want to ride right after lunch, as he proceeds to ride it right after lunch.

Speaker 2:
[27:22] 100 percent.

Speaker 1:
[27:24] Then we get Emotion Sickness Square, as Jill says that the majority of them are prone to motion sickness, but quote, we still enjoy getting on a roller coaster and having a grand old time as long as we're not puking. Grandma survived the ride and she said that it was okay and that she was only a little queasy, but nobody puked, so that's good. But they've been there a million times, so they all know what they're up against. They've been here a million times.

Speaker 2:
[27:54] I feel like Motion Sickness is one of those squares that we were getting hit a lot, and then we haven't really gotten a lot of action on it.

Speaker 1:
[28:00] This season has been.

Speaker 2:
[28:04] I do have to say during this part, there was a line in the background of one of the Talking Heads where grandma talked about how Amy gets her to do things. I think a lot about my oldest cousin on one side of my family, because she was that person where she would invite my grandmother before she passed away to holidays. So she always does this gigantic blowout Halloween party. And she would invite my grandmother, and my grandmother would be like, I'm not dressing up. And she'd be like, no, you have to dress up. And she would be like, come on, we're gonna go get costumes. So she would take her to the store. And it was always that weird thin foamy placard that you could just kind of put around your head.

Speaker 1:
[28:50] She's like a hot dog.

Speaker 2:
[28:51] So it's like she had her be a hot dog. And at first, my grandma was always like, I don't want to be a hot dog. Not super angry, but just kind of like, I don't want to do this. But then she would fucking love it. And then she would take pictures. So I will say the cousins on that side of the family were very similar, where we would get her to do things. And she always talked, she pretended like she didn't like it, but even to my aunts and stuff, she absolutely loved us having her there.

Speaker 1:
[29:23] It was part of a bit, almost.

Speaker 2:
[29:25] It really was. She was, there was a, sorry, the last one was, they had a, she came as Madonna, like 80s-era Madonna to one of the parties. And the picture is so good. She has the fingerless gloves that are like fishnet, and she had the bow on the side of her head. So it's hilarious to see this older Mexican woman who was dressed up as Madonna for this party.

Speaker 1:
[29:50] I, that was one of the pictures that I posted in whatever episode previously we talked about, Granny. So. And I just wanted to point out that this episode is a little weird because a few of the interviews are almost like a mashup of a talking head and an on-the-fly.

Speaker 2:
[30:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[30:08] On-the-flies are in scene and in the moment, whereas like talking heads are formal sit-down interviews done later on down the road. But in this episode, there's not really on-the-fly interviews in the actual amusement park, but there's what feels like on-the-flies done at the house, just standing in random spots at the tater-top mansion, speaking directly to the camera.

Speaker 2:
[30:33] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[30:33] So in a sense, that's what I mean by it's like on-the-fly in style and not a formal sit-down interview but it's also done at a later date the way that a talking head would be.

Speaker 2:
[30:44] Correct.

Speaker 1:
[30:45] So it's like a weird mash-up of the two, any who's will. So in grandma's weird mash-up interview talking about the time at the amusement park and specifically going on the ride, in the background on the wall is one of the Duggars' many photo collage picture frames. My eye kept going to an empty spot and it had me thinking, what picture did they remove and not replace? Because I feel like when you have something you want to update, if you're like, oh, I want this picture to be in the frame, you choose the spot it's going to go, you put that in and you take the thing out. Or it's just like when you have a dedicated spot for someone's school picture and you put the most recent one in. But if you really had a picture you wanted to put in, but obviously every slot is filled, then you put it in and then the old one comes out and you never really have an empty spot. The fact that there's an empty spot, to me, feels like points toward something they wanted gone, but they didn't have something else to put in. So what picture did they want to remove but not? Who got the ax?

Speaker 2:
[31:57] You got kicked off the island.

Speaker 1:
[32:00] Then we get the stash square.

Speaker 2:
[32:03] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[32:04] Because there's a bit of a focus on him for a couple of minutes. A bunch of the kids are talking about how they want Jim to ride a roller coaster. Then it cuts to Jim in line, and he has this lost look on his face. But I think it's just him standing in line, not having his glasses on.

Speaker 2:
[32:21] You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[32:23] But it just translates as lost, even though he's just standing there.

Speaker 2:
[32:26] Yeah. I do think it was the glasses. But it also, I was like, is he hiding back there? I wasn't sure how to take it, but yeah, I think it is the glasses.

Speaker 1:
[32:38] But it's perfect because then sound man Bill says, Well, Jim sometimes gets a little lost. He's not a spring chicken anymore. So he went wandering about by himself. So it just plays perfectly into him standing there with this confused slash lost look on his face. Jim says he's going to ride the roller coaster and quote, see if I can scare some years off of me. Then it cuts to Jim walking to go sit down on the ride. He says, I have no idea where I am. Then someone yells to him to sit down and relax before Lego comes over and says, hey Jim, we've been looking for you. So it's a whole bit that everyone is playing into about Jim disappearing and not doing his job, or getting lost, or it's just the whole thing where everybody's saying something different about like, oh, he's lost, or hope he's not doing his job. Then after the ride, so then they do the ride and they ask, how was the ride, Jim? And he says, and it's funny because his hair is all blown back.

Speaker 2:
[33:42] That's what I was going to say. Yeah, his hair is like mad scientist. It's hilarious.

Speaker 1:
[33:48] And I'm like, is it really like that? Or if somebody, it's still funny even if somebody's like, let's mess up your hair. Either way, it's funny.

Speaker 2:
[33:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:55] It's funny either way.

Speaker 2:
[33:56] Well, whenever they have him actually speak in an episode, he has a very calm-

Speaker 1:
[34:03] It's kind of slow.

Speaker 2:
[34:04] demeanor to him. So it was funny to see him nervous going on this ride just because it's so out of character, you know?

Speaker 1:
[34:12] Yeah. So it was pretty funny. So Cannon had stayed back with Josie because she hadn't been feeling well the night before, but Josie started feeling better. So Michelle decided to make the two-hour drive to meet up with everyone partway through the day. But that's it. They don't show anything else. About the day after her showing up. They just show her showing up and then that's the end of it.

Speaker 2:
[34:35] That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[34:37] Do you have anything else about the trip to Silver Dollar City?

Speaker 2:
[34:40] I have a potential bingo square.

Speaker 1:
[34:42] Okay. Hit me with it.

Speaker 2:
[34:43] All right. I have a ginger face.

Speaker 1:
[34:46] Oh, I missed it.

Speaker 2:
[34:48] So when they all get, because when Jim was getting on the roller coaster, a lot of them were getting on the roller coaster. So they all rode on the same ride. And then there's a point where ginger is getting off of the roller coaster. And they're kind of in the moment on the fly, interviewing her, asking about how the ride was. Cause earlier they had, they had a scene of her being like, oh my gosh, I absolutely love roller coasters. So they were like, how was it, ginger? And she was starting to talk and Lego hair walks up, side hugs her and just kind of like steam rolls her out of the way to talk about how he thought the ride was.

Speaker 1:
[35:28] God, he's so irritating.

Speaker 2:
[35:30] So there's potentially a women can't stand him and ginger face combo.

Speaker 1:
[35:36] Okay, I'm down for the combo. I remember this scene, I remember her talking about the ride, but I must have missed the him part of it.

Speaker 2:
[35:44] He like, it was, it was kind of very on brand, but it was kind of sad. And he just, he didn't say, he walked in and said, wow, that's the scariest one in the park. I've never, I haven't done that one in years. It's really a good roller coaster, but it really gets your stomach. And then he cuts talking about like the turns and twists and she's just awkwardly standing there. And then I felt bad because I was like, she was, she talked about when she loves roller coasters, she can't even talk about it that we're dead taking over.

Speaker 1:
[36:12] Yeah, he just comes in like, yeah, totally. That's what he does. Like everything is about him. He makes everything, he's so annoying. He's so irritating. Any who's all. So after a commercial break, we see Jill and Lego approaching the Green Bean restaurant with Cannon trailing behind them. Lego has his arm awkwardly on Jill's shoulder as he says, Jill, can't believe you're 21. So he left his wife in the dust, toting the birthday present so he could have a moment alone walking in with Jill at the front. It's very typical of him where he just takes over these things, where he's like, I'm going to walk in with Jill and have the Jill, can't believe you're 21, you're in the dust with the fucking gifts. God. Then Jill said, a lot of young ladies on their 21st birthday would probably hit the town and they would maybe think freedom is the first thing on their 21st birthday. What kind of sentence is that? Would maybe think freedom is the first thing on their 21st birthday, but for me, I really wanted to have a good time with my parents. Yeah. Well, we know that freedom is not something typical.

Speaker 2:
[37:29] Exactly. It doesn't matter what birthday it is.

Speaker 1:
[37:31] Yeah. She's like, well, I know that but not for me. I know other people might think of freedom, but not me.

Speaker 2:
[37:38] No, thank you.

Speaker 1:
[37:40] I want to have a good time with my parents. Did she even have a choice? I mean, I think they probably let her choose the restaurant. That's the choice she got to make. But I'm a bet she didn't really have probably many other options for spending her 21st birthday other than with her parents, which if that's what you truly want to do, by all means have at it.

Speaker 2:
[38:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[38:05] I don't care. If that's who you truly like to spend your time with, fine. I don't care. That's not an issue on its own inherently. I'm just not convinced that there are a whole lot of other options. So she's like, well, that's what I really want to do. What else? What else were you going to do? So the first thing they do is open gifts, and Michelle got Jill candy, perfume and her favorite game, which I was disappointed that we never got to see what the game was.

Speaker 2:
[38:35] I was actually going to say that too. I was excited and then I was like, did I miss it? I legit went back because I was like, did I miss them talking about it?

Speaker 1:
[38:43] I'm like, oh, maybe not. I don't know what the favorite game is.

Speaker 2:
[38:46] What are we working with? What are we? Phase 10, Uno, Trouble.

Speaker 1:
[38:51] All bangers.

Speaker 2:
[38:52] Playing spades. What's going on here?

Speaker 1:
[38:56] Michelle talked about how she knows some of her kids' favorites and she makes a mental note of it. She's probably like, which I love when people do make little mental notes and get things that you really like, but I'm like, for her, that's probably a gigantic feat and she's really fucking patting herself on the back that she was like, this one likes Dum Dums and this one likes Reese's. For her, that's probably enough. You know how they start? When they talk, the whole thing about them spending one-on-one time going out on errands, remember how I said, I think that some of the greatest memories you might have with your parents are those simple little moments where you're just going to the grocery store. But again, with them, everything is different because to them, they think that that's just enough. It's not that they're like, we're doing enough as parents. I feel like this is another one of those things where it's like, yeah, it's great when you remember little things and you give them like, this is your favorite candy and this is your favorite that and whatever. And it's like just surprising them with those little favorites. That's great. But again, with them, I feel like they're just like, this is parenting. This is me doing enough. The fact that I remembered each kid's favorite candy means I'm doing enough as a mother. It's just different.

Speaker 2:
[40:07] Yeah. I wonder if she went to Jana and asked what Jill's favorite candy was. And also, she remembers that one of her kids likes Dum Dums. Apparently, she does too.

Speaker 1:
[40:21] So then the music cues up as Lego insists on creating a moment again.

Speaker 2:
[40:25] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[40:27] He says, it's about her, but he's directed at Michelle. Like, it's Jill's birthday and he's facing Michelle and he puts his arm on her. Oh, and he says, I was thinking about 21 years ago, mama, and he reaches out and he grabs onto Michelle. And she very oddly grabs his arm back. Did you notice?

Speaker 2:
[40:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[40:52] Like she's holding onto his elbow. It's very odd. And he continues, little Jill was born and our fourth child. So I got you a little something. He ran out of things to say. He's trying to create this heartfelt moment. And then that quick transition is because he had nothing else to say. So then he's just like, so I got you a little something. Because he's like, oh yeah, she's our fourth child and what else? And so I got you a little something. So Jill, so then he says that the gift is from mom and I, but says that Michelle doesn't even know what it is. And I'm like, that also feels very on brand.

Speaker 2:
[41:34] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[41:35] Because Jill opens it and it's like a nice cross necklace. And Jill says that it's beautiful. And Lego tells her beautiful gift for a beautiful girl. And doesn't that also feel on brand that he's like, I'm going to get the better gift and say it's from us, but then make sure you know that mom had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 2:
[41:54] Had nothing to do with it, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[41:55] I want you to know. I mean, it's from both of us, but she had fucking nothing to do with this. And out of these two gifts, mine's better, right? The one that I picked out is better.

Speaker 2:
[42:03] He's the worst.

Speaker 1:
[42:04] Doesn't it feel like that?

Speaker 2:
[42:05] It does, yeah. It was awkward.

Speaker 1:
[42:09] And then in a talking head, he said, Jill is so sweet. She has such a tender heart towards others. She's always reaching out and ministering to others. And she's very good with young ones, which is his favorite part, I'm sure. She's always playing games with them and making each one feel special. And she's a real and really a people person. And then Cannon said, she is such a lovely person and that is her. That's who she is. She genuinely loves people and cares about others. That's that spiritual gift of mercy. But that's also what gets her in trouble. You know how mercies can be with all that caring. They start tolerating evil and becoming bitter towards God for allowing people to suffer. It can become a real big problem. Then Lego asked Jill to tell them what happened the night before. And Jill says that she got a nice little birthday card. You guys, it wasn't a birthday card.

Speaker 2:
[43:09] It was not.

Speaker 1:
[43:11] It was a speeding ticket. It was not a birthday card. So on her way to a birth, because remember she's learning to be a midwife. So she was speeding, trying to get to a birth and got caught in a speed trap in a little town. Lego asked how fast she was going and she just said, too fast. She's like, I'm not putting my business out on national TV. All her other business is out there. She's like, but I don't want you guys to know that I was going 86. So too fast. Then Cannon said, don't feel bad. I had never gotten a ticket until I married your daddy. With that, I'm like, oh, so you didn't get a ticket until you were just under 18? Remember how she was 17, almost 18? That's not a long time to go without a ticket. She's like, I never got a ticket until you were 18.

Speaker 2:
[44:03] That whole time, that six months that she had been driving, whoo.

Speaker 1:
[44:10] I guess they do drive pretty early in Arkansas, though, so that is something we can take into account. But still, it's not like she's like, I went 15 years without a ticket, it's not that long.

Speaker 2:
[44:19] I mean, the real lesson to be taken away from that is that Lego hair ruins everything.

Speaker 1:
[44:24] I mean, yeah. Then she continued, and then right after we were married, not just one ticket, I got two tickets in a row. Who knew Michelle was such a speed queen?

Speaker 2:
[44:35] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[44:36] Although I guess we don't know for sure that it was for speeding because she didn't say speed, she just said-

Speaker 2:
[44:41] She just said ticket.

Speaker 1:
[44:42] Ticket. So I guess we don't know that it's speeding, but any who's will. So then the episode ends with Jill saying that she hopes she can accomplish more for the Lord in the next 21 years of her life than she has in the first 21. She also said that she's content being single right now, but quote, hopefully in the Lord's timing, I'll be married whenever that may be. I don't know if I'm ready yet or not, but if not, that's okay too. To be quite honest, I think it's less about her being ready to be married and more about her parents not being ready for her to be married. They still need her to take care of their kids. Like he said, she's so good with them. Notice how almost entirely the focus of what Diego said about her as a person was about her caring for others. That is something you can say about someone. I like that they're a caring person, but he had so much of it that was like, she's really great with kids. She makes the kids feel good, whatever. Yes, those are things that you can like about a person, but I do think it's telling that basically everything he had to say about Jill is what she can offer to other people.

Speaker 2:
[45:50] Yeah. Your worth is utilitarian. It's in what you bring to the table, not you as a person.

Speaker 1:
[45:57] He was like, she's so good with them and she plays games with them, which is probably why Cannon got her a game for her 21st birthday. So she can play the game with the kids. That's their favorite thing about her. Even if she's ready to be married, I don't think they're quite ready. Until then, she'll convince herself that she's content being a stay-at-home daughter because they're taught to always be content. Don't even allow yourself to feel how you really feel. Just shove it all down and tell not only yourself, but everyone around you that you're totally content with how things are right now.

Speaker 2:
[46:37] Super encouraged over here.

Speaker 1:
[46:39] Encouraged and content and not bitter at all. That's what it feels like.

Speaker 2:
[46:46] That is what it is.

Speaker 1:
[46:46] Smile while you're doing it. All right, so six. Did you get anything?

Speaker 2:
[46:56] No.

Speaker 1:
[46:57] Same.

Speaker 2:
[46:58] No dice.

Speaker 1:
[46:59] I never got anything better than a two.

Speaker 2:
[47:01] Yeah. We got some good scores ago. I'm glad we got a motion sickness one. That one hadn't gotten action in a while and that one is on there. So even though we didn't get a bingo, we got a little traction.

Speaker 1:
[47:13] So happy four-year podcast-aversary almost.

Speaker 2:
[47:17] Happy podcast-aversary, honey.

Speaker 1:
[47:21] Originally, I was hoping that I'd be covering Josh's hearing from last week, but as of this recording, Judge Brooks has not ruled yet. But even if we didn't get a final answer, I was hoping that maybe paperwork or details would have been made available about their arguments so we could at least dig into that. But the only thing released were the minutes, which was basically just an outline of the order in which things went, but no actual details of any kind.

Speaker 2:
[47:48] Right.

Speaker 1:
[47:49] So I waited and waited, hoping things would come out. Then it just hit the point where I was like, okay, I got to start working on something or we're going to have nothing this week.

Speaker 2:
[47:59] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[47:59] So I had to pivot. So I decided to dig into something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I feel like there's a number of things that are kind of like swirling in my head lately. And one of those is the Dugger slash IBLP lexicon. And how there are certain things we hear them say all the time. Some of which have even been made into bingo squares, like character and training. And then two episodes ago, I dug into discouragement, which was inspired not only by Joe and Kendra's jail phone calls, but also because we hear them all talk about encouragement on a regular basis.

Speaker 2:
[48:40] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[48:43] And like I said, I just feel like even more so lately, my mind has zeroed in on all of these various words and phrases that we hear them use. And this week's recapped episode brought up another one of those words for me, contentment. Actually, technically Jill said that she was content being single for now, but same thing. And that's certainly not the first time we've heard them talk about contentment in the show. It's come up a few times. So today I wanted to dig into the topic of contentment. And I know it's one of those things where you might be thinking like, well, hold focus on contentment. But I think it's worth digging into these words and phrases that we hear over and over again because the fact that they're used so frequently points to what a huge part of their world that it is, how ingrained in them it is. Which in turn I think speaks to why it's something worth looking into and discussing. Because I'm a firm believer that these seemingly small things all add up to something much bigger. So starting off, you might remember that contentment is one of the 49 character qualities. So I gave the definition of it at the top of one of our episodes as we worked our way through all 49 of them. But let's go over that definition again. Because you don't remember from however long ago that was.

Speaker 2:
[50:11] Oh no, we have a test.

Speaker 1:
[50:14] Contentment is realizing that God has already provided everything I need for my present and future happiness. Just because I like to compare the IBLP definitions to worldly definitions, here is the definition of contentment from Miriam Webster. Feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation. So next, building off of Billy G's definition, it continued by saying, contentment comes as we realize that God is all we really need and he will never leave us. We can be satisfied in him knowing that he is the supplier of all of our physical and spiritual needs. But he says that contentment is opposite of human nature. It doesn't come naturally and he points to Adam.

Speaker 2:
[51:08] Here we go.

Speaker 1:
[51:08] And Eve as evidence of that. They lived in the perfect environment, in perfect health, and yet they still were not content.

Speaker 2:
[51:20] Women, am I right?

Speaker 1:
[51:21] God damn it, Eve. And then he turns up the drama a little bit by saying, if Adam and Eve were not content in the Garden of Eden, what hope is there for the rest of us? I think we should just give up, right? I mean, what hope do we have?

Speaker 2:
[51:40] None.

Speaker 1:
[51:40] Give up. I don't even know why he continues on. I mean, what hope do we have?

Speaker 2:
[51:44] You're like, the rest of this book is nothing but blank pages.

Speaker 1:
[51:49] So he says that contentment begins by knowing the purpose of life, which is to know God, saying quote, man was created with a God-sized vacuum, and he is the only one who can fill that void.

Speaker 2:
[52:03] Everything about that sounds weird.

Speaker 1:
[52:04] You could take that one way, which is the way I think you're taking it. But also, I feel like the Duggar kids would be like, well, that's a big vacuum. We could clean the whole Tater Top Mansion in just like a few passes. So to become content, he must first distinguish the differences between wants and needs. But that should be pretty easy, because he says that we only have two needs.

Speaker 2:
[52:30] Oh.

Speaker 1:
[52:30] Only two. Food and clothing. And we've talked about this before when we've talked about their teachings on finances and praying for money.

Speaker 2:
[52:39] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[52:40] I'd definitely argue that we have a few more things than just food and clothing that we need. But hey, that's just me. I'm kind of a fan of shelter.

Speaker 2:
[52:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[52:51] As well as a few other frivolous things. I think there's a need for safety and both emotional and physical, maybe like access to health care, frivolous non-essentials like that. So I guess those are wants but not needs. But I mean, who really needs shelter and health care?

Speaker 2:
[53:14] Yeah. Take them or leave them. That's what I say.

Speaker 1:
[53:17] If I do remember correctly though, I feel like in the dig about finances and praying for money, I thought he said we had three basic needs, and it was food, clothing, and shelter. So if I'm remembering right, that's kind of interesting that in this, like shelter gets the X, and it's like, no, it's actually only two things that you need. So he says we only need food and clothing, and that God has promised to provide for our needs, but not all of our wants, like shelter and you know.

Speaker 2:
[53:51] Water.

Speaker 1:
[53:53] He probably, I think if I remember correctly, that they're like, well, water is part of food. So just make it separate, you know, any who's all. And then it transitions into talking about discontentment, which he says begins by desiring self-sufficiency. Quote, when either partner in a marriage becomes self-sufficient, the love relationship is damaged because joy and grace come from giving and receiving. Because you know, you can't possibly be self-sufficient when the present moment is still given, you have to be dependent entirely, you know.

Speaker 2:
[54:27] It's all, yep.

Speaker 1:
[54:29] The temptation of Adam and Eve was not simply to taste some forbidden fruit, but to be self-sufficient and no longer need God. The subtle serpent told them that if they ate the fruit, they would be as gods and be able to decide for themselves good and evil. For me, it would be a pear. What would it be? You know, people talk about apple, it wouldn't be an apple. For me, it would be a pear. I feel like it's a handheld that you don't have to peel. I feel like anything with a peel is not probably what the, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[55:00] So you're saying it wasn't a banana.

Speaker 1:
[55:02] I don't think it was a banana. I don't even think it was a mango. I think it's something that you can bite into with the skin. So to me, it's kind of like, is it apple? Is it pear? For me, it's a pear. What do you think?

Speaker 2:
[55:11] I mean, out of that kind of fruit, pear is definitely my favorite.

Speaker 1:
[55:17] How disappointing if she was like, God, all of this for a fucking red delicious apple or something terrible like that.

Speaker 2:
[55:22] The worst apple.

Speaker 1:
[55:23] That fucking mealy ass thick skin. Such thick skin that when you bite into it, it hinges.

Speaker 2:
[55:28] Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:29] It's awful. It hinges on the skin. What a fucking thing if she fucked it all up for everybody for a fucking bite of a red delicious.

Speaker 2:
[55:38] I've had that conversation three times in the last couple of months. So it'll be us talking about something and they're like red delicious. I'm like, arguably the, and then whoever it is always goes, the worst one.

Speaker 1:
[55:49] Absolutely the worst. Any whoosle. Where the fuck am I? So basically he's saying that any form of self-sufficiency or independence is not just like a slippery slope. It's full on like bad, bad, bad. Self-sufficiency will damage your relationship. Because again, apparently you cannot be self-sufficient, but then also give and take and be a good partner. It's just impossible. It just ruins your relationship. Then it all just snowballs from there. Because discontentment leads to covetousness. Remember how for every character quality, there's a counter quality that's to be avoided.

Speaker 2:
[56:29] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[56:30] The bad one. Well, covetousness is the counter to contentment. The difference between the two is described like this. Contentment is choosing to focus on the glass being half full, and happily enjoying every drop. While covetousness is seeing what is not in your glass and wanting more. It's like staring at that picture and you're like, oh, that picture of water.

Speaker 2:
[56:55] Man. I mean, my water is fine, but that water.

Speaker 1:
[57:01] A covetous person has an intense desire for something that he does not have, and rather than being thankful for what they have, they focus on what they don't have, which is in violation of the 10th commandment. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's. And by desiring things that you don't have or desiring things more than God, those things can become idols. So, your neighbor's ass that you covet, idol. You're idolizing that ass.

Speaker 2:
[57:41] My neighbor does have an ass that won't quit, so.

Speaker 1:
[57:45] That manservant that they, that you want for yourself that they have, idol.

Speaker 2:
[57:50] Also coveting that ass.

Speaker 1:
[57:54] So again, you should be relying on God to provide all your needs as well as finding your satisfaction in God alone, as that is the purpose of life. And contentment allows us to gain things of greater value, he says, quote, contentment is setting our affections on eternal treasures rather than on temporal possessions. It is experiencing the qualities of godliness without the distraction of earthly cares. And now for a little personal evaluation.

Speaker 2:
[58:25] I'm ready.

Speaker 1:
[58:26] How content are you?

Speaker 2:
[58:28] Oh, my goodness. How much ass do you covet?

Speaker 1:
[58:33] In what specific ways do you enjoy the presence of the Lord? How much time do you spend enjoying your family? Are you making practical use of the possessions that have been entrusted to you? Have you set your affections on getting things that you that you think will make your life happier? Do you grieve or become bitter when your possessions are damaged or stolen? Do you rejoice in the wealth of things that money cannot buy, such as health, freedom, a good name, a clear conscience, and eternal salvation more than temporal possessions? Do you believe that God has given you all you need? I just want to say that I feel like that second to last one there proves my point that there are other needs or things of value beyond just food and clothing. Because it was, do you rejoice in the wealth of things that money cannot buy, such as health, freedom, a good name, a clear conscience, blah, blah, blah. I was like, remember how earlier I was like, oh, like health care. Here he's saying, do you rejoice in health? But I feel like if I was like, well, see what I mean? That means that there's more things of value than just food. He'd probably be like, well, you can rejoice in your health, but that's not like a need need.

Speaker 2:
[59:50] You don't need your health.

Speaker 1:
[59:51] It's just like, you can like rejoice in it, but it's not like a need need. It's not like a necessity. So that sums up some of the very basic teachings on contentment. And while in some areas it was a bit broader, I feel like these basic teachings skewed a bit more like tangible, I guess you'd say.

Speaker 2:
[60:13] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[60:13] Like it talked about possessions a few times. I don't know. I just, I feel like it was focusing more on tangibles.

Speaker 2:
[60:21] Like ass.

Speaker 1:
[60:22] Yes, exactly. So I just want to, I want to focus on that again for a moment. So like I mentioned earlier, by teaching that the only things that we need in life are food and clothing, it perfectly sets it up so that literally anything else can be made out to be frivolous or even worse, temporal. Having any kind of desire for more or better, can very easily be weaponized against you as being discontent and temporal.

Speaker 2:
[60:58] Oh my.

Speaker 1:
[61:00] You can be made to feel guilty for wanting anything, even if it's totally valid or completely benign or harmless.

Speaker 2:
[61:09] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[61:10] And sure, there are absolutely times that people can and or maybe should be more content with what they have, and maybe they don't need more.

Speaker 2:
[61:20] Right.

Speaker 1:
[61:22] There are definitely circumstances in which you really may have taken it too far with the focus on things and should be more content and less focused on getting more and more. So that absolutely happens, and I'm not denying that. But having more than just necessities, food and clothing, that's it, also isn't inherently bad either. As we record this, I can look around and I can see that I'm surrounded by a bunch of shit that isn't a necessity. Many of us are. I'm surrounded by these things. Many of us aren't, but that doesn't necessarily make you temporal or discontent either. It's not that black and white. God forbid you have some fucking comforts and enjoyment.

Speaker 2:
[62:08] Right. What's weird is that we're talking about this through the lens of IBLP, but I specifically remember having this conversation as a kid with my own father. It was this idea of wanting more or better, doesn't inherently make you think ill of what you grew up with or what you currently have.

Speaker 1:
[62:36] Or selfish.

Speaker 2:
[62:37] Yeah, exactly. It doesn't make you inherently selfish if you're like, I am so happy and grateful that this is what I have at this moment, but I would like to aspire to something better. And now that you said it and now that I'm thinking about it, I think that led to a lot of our disconnect when I was growing up. And I think when I was younger, it exhibited itself in a very tangible, the physical things that you have kind of way, where when I was a kid, if I wanted to get something new or get something upgraded or better.

Speaker 1:
[63:13] Like kids want, like kids do.

Speaker 2:
[63:15] Yeah. I want the bigger Lego set. I think my dad took that personally where it was like, well, I provided you these things and obviously these aren't good enough. And that wasn't the case. I was never that person that was like, this isn't good enough. But if I wanted something more, I wanted something else, like that's the nature of it. You know what I mean? So I feel like I tried very much to be very grateful for what I had, but then also be like, if I want something more, I want something more, you know? I felt like that was kind of my way. And then as I grew up, I feel like that same mindset difference between him and I started exhibiting yourself towards kind of like larger idea life things rather than like tangible little things there, you know?

Speaker 1:
[64:00] Like what's wrong with this? Like you want something different than this? Yeah. Why would you want anything different than this?

Speaker 2:
[64:06] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:
[64:07] Yeah. All right, so kind of getting back to what we were talking about, where it was a bit more like tangible and wanting if you like if you wanted something beyond necessities. I don't even think that they really think that anything beyond food and clothing is automatically by-product or evidence of discontentment.

Speaker 2:
[64:32] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[64:33] But I just don't think that they automatically walk around thinking that all the time. But I do think that they will use this to their advantage when they see fit. When there's something that they want to tamp down on you, then they'll bring this out.

Speaker 2:
[64:48] Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1:
[64:49] When there's something that they don't want you to want, they'll point to you needing to work on your contentment. So like I said, I don't really think that they're constantly like, oh God, you want that, oh. Otherwise, they wouldn't let their kids have anything. I don't think it's a constant thing. It is just a tool or weapon that they can use when they need to.

Speaker 2:
[65:12] Yeah. Well, in that line, we've talked about how examining a lot of these IBLP texts, their point isn't super focused, or they don't make a lot of sense, or they walk, they talk in circles. But if you can make it biblically, they're going to nod their head and kind of go with it. And that's kind of how this feels too, where it's like, oh, if there's something that I don't like as the head of the system, let me use discontentment, bitterness and Satan to make them shut up.

Speaker 1:
[65:43] It's just another way to control you, to control any wants that you might have that they don't want you having.

Speaker 2:
[65:50] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[65:50] It's a built-in way to put a stop to it, just like you were just saying, that carries weight because it relates back to God, since you're supposed to be relying on God and being completely satisfied by God alone. It's just there conveniently when they need to use it.

Speaker 2:
[66:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[66:09] One final thing while we're talking about this in a more tangible sense, this is a really convenient teaching to be able to point to in a birthing cult, where many of the families live in poverty or near poverty. The Duggars before they made all this money, they were not, and a lot of families are not well off. When you have more kids than you can properly provide for, it's very convenient that you can tell your children that their desire for more than the basic bare bones necessities is something bad.

Speaker 2:
[66:46] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[66:47] Or when a wife, for example, grows weary of scraping by and voices feelings about it, her husband can tell her that the real problem is her discontentment.

Speaker 2:
[67:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[67:01] She needs to learn to be more content with what they do have. It's a built-in way to minimize people's feelings and concerns, point the problem back at them and shut them down, which is par for the course. Now, I want to talk about the context in which contentment has been brought up in the show, which is while being single. If it's been brought up in other contexts, they're not coming to mind. Can you think of any?

Speaker 2:
[67:33] No.

Speaker 1:
[67:34] Yeah. There might have been others, but what definitely sticks out to me is the number of times that it's been brought up when talking about being single.

Speaker 2:
[67:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[67:43] This week, it was Jill saying that she's content being single right now, but hopefully, in the Lord's timing, they'll all be married whenever that may be. But it's also come up in past episodes as well. One of the most notable being the group talking head of all the Duggars plus Joy, from earlier this season in episode 159, which was the episode where we recapped the Waller wedding. Yeah. Just to refresh your memory a little bit, this is when they were asked if some of them could see themselves still living at home in their 30s, which, damn, and Jill said, We are focusing on having a ministry mindset. So whether that means right now, we're all living here together with our family, which we love, or if we're off serving somewhere, being a blessing to other people, there's not an age that's set for marriage. I want to be married by this time. It's being content where you are. Because if you're not content right now with being single, you're not going to be content when you're married either. And it was right after that last sentence that they showed Jessa with her like, oh, snap type face. And she was mouthing like, oh, or something like that. She was spitting. She was like, listen to Jill throwing down facts. Listen to that wisdom. And then Jill continued. So it's just like, you have to learn to be content where you are now and not set these ages as, well, I'm not going to get married before this. If I don't get somebody by this, it's hopeless, you know? And as much as that might sound like sound wisdom, you know, advice and a healthy mindset to have, Jilly Muffin did not big that up herself. It is straight from the IBLP script.

Speaker 2:
[69:39] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[69:40] A big talking point within IBLP is being content while being single. So earlier I was just talking about their basic teachings, but it really is so much of it is about being content while being single. So Jill did not whip up that wisdom on her own. She was just following the script as always. But before I actually get into some of the specific things that IBLP has said about this, I want to first make a little connection as to why I personally think that being content while single is such a focus for them. Like we've said, this is a birthing cult, a birthing cult and a system where a woman's entire purpose in life is to get married and have children. And obviously neither of those things can be done if you're single. So they've spent their entire lives being told that their lot in life is to do these two things. And when they're single, they're not doing them. One might, dare I say, become discouraged by this.

Speaker 2:
[70:49] Oh my.

Speaker 1:
[70:50] And they cannot have that. That is one of Satan's most powerful weapons against Christians. And, you know, like jokes aside, though, I'm sure one likely does become a bit discouraged by this. Because it's basically their entire worth that they're not living up to yet.

Speaker 2:
[71:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[71:12] So I'd imagine that could be a little discouraging while living in a birthing cult. And with that in mind, I want to refer back to another part of that Duggirl group interview. If you'll recall, some of the questions that were asked ruffled some feathers. We saw some uncharacteristic attitude face from Jill. And even more attitude than normal coming from Jessah Blessa. Like, Jessah already has the most toad of any of the girls. But she was coming in hot that interview. Particularly when they were asked, what do you think when you're sitting here? These questions. I know we've talked about it, but revisiting is still funny to me.

Speaker 2:
[72:01] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[72:03] What do you think when you're sitting here and you're all living under the same roof and you're all sleeping in the same- they really fucking cut deep with that.

Speaker 2:
[72:10] Yeah. As they're in that room, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[72:14] That was fucking OG snark to be like, and you're all living under the same roof and you're all sleeping in the same room.

Speaker 2:
[72:22] Oh, man.

Speaker 1:
[72:23] Okay. So I'll start over. I'll try to not interrupt this time. What do you think when you're sitting here and you're all living under the same roof and you're all sleeping in the same room and you're starting to get into your 20s, some of you now? How do you feel about that? That's a-

Speaker 2:
[72:40] Damn.

Speaker 1:
[72:42] And Jessa instantly said, it's not like we just sit around eating bonbons all day waiting for Prince Charming. I mean, we're doing things to prepare ourselves for the future. It's not just sitting around, oh, I hope my Prince Charming comes. Marriage is not the end all. So that's not how we look at it. I understand that was a bit of a- That was a snarkier question than there used to be.

Speaker 2:
[73:05] That was a leading question, yes.

Speaker 1:
[73:08] But let's be fucking real. Marriage absolutely is the end all. No matter how much Jessa fires back and says that it's not, it absolutely fucking is. Jessa knows that. She was just offended and like and or annoyed and put off by the question. So that's what she said. But who the fuck are you kidding? Marriage is absolutely the end all be all. It's actually humorous to me that Jessa would say that it isn't. I'm like, I know you're fucking pissed right now, but that's still like, oh, honey, let's be fucking real here. And connecting it back to what I was saying before, because it is the end all be all and their entire worth and purpose in life, I can see being single and sleeping in the same room as your sisters as you're starting to get into the 20s as they pointed out. I can see that being potentially discouraging to them. And as we learned two episodes ago, they're taught that being discouraged is not just a feeling or emotion to be worked through. It's a state of the soul and a weapon of Satan. So it's to be avoided at all costs. So they're going to find all kinds of ways to shove it down by focusing on something else. And we walked through the teachings of burying yourself in the Bible, notably Psalms, as a way to shove it down. And we saw that playing out through Joe. But I am also led to believe that teaching them to focus on contentment is just yet another way to shove down those feelings of discouragement. I mean, shove down all your feelings, all the time of all kinds.

Speaker 2:
[74:58] Please.

Speaker 1:
[74:58] But be like extra sure that you're shoving down those feelings of discouragement. So that's my personal opinion and take on why they make it such a point to teach single Pringles the importance of being content. Because it's like, well, that could lead to discouragement. So I'm totally content. I'm not discouraged. I'm totally encouraged and I'm totally content.

Speaker 2:
[75:26] Super content, guys. Right over here.

Speaker 1:
[75:29] Not at all discouraged. Okay. Now I want to get into some of the things that IBLP has actually said about contentment. So let's start with an article titled, Contentment Leads to Gratitude, Contentment Before Marriage. Life is filled with unchangeable circumstances, situations and events that are entirely beyond our control. God in his goodness has designed life this way. If we were in control of every aspect of our lives, surely we would make a wreck of things very quickly. For a young person considering marriage, the foundations of future contentment are laid in one's present contentment. Every young man or woman should ask themselves this vitally important question. Am I content with my present circumstances? If the answer to this question is yes, a very strong probability exists that the passage from single to married will be a smooth and easy one. Contentment now with your parents, your siblings and your surroundings will transition smoothly to contentment with your spouse, your in-laws and with your children. But if the answer to this question is no, it very possibly will be difficult to be content anywhere in any situation. If you struggle with contentment, a worthwhile exercise would be to name the things that you cannot change and learn to thank God for the unchangeable circumstances that he has placed in your life. Learning gratefulness is a vital step in growing in maturity and contentment. What are some things that you cannot change? Certainly, you can list some circumstances that you can and ought to be changed. For example, if you dislike the color of the paint on your walls, you can repaint them. If you don't like living in a cluttered room, you can clean it up. However, there are many things that are entirely beyond your control. Those items you can thank God for and learn to live with them. What about the matters you cannot change? Then it rattles off a bunch of unchangeables that I don't feel are necessary to repeat. But it's like we talked about the 10 unchangeables before. It's like your birth order, your sibling, whatever. Lifts off a bunch of those and then picking back up. How should we handle these unchangeables? Just grin and bear it? Such an attitude would lead to a meaningless existence of mere stoic fortitude in accepting the blind dictates of fate. No. I'm going to stop right there for a moment to say that I find it laughable, that he says that grinning and bearing it is not the way to go about it. When they literally teach people to smile no matter what. Like literally. But then beyond the literal teachings of smiling, all their teachings have something in it in one way or another that teaches you to just go with things no matter what and act happy about it while you do it. It's all very keep sweet. It's like just obey, smile and keep sweet and go along with it. So I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Your entire thing is grin and fucking bear it. Then you're like, no, no. Fucking ridiculous. Continuing on. Christian young people should not only endure but gratefully accept the things they cannot change. Knowing that these circumstances come from the hand of a loving, all-knowing God. True contentment will mature to gratefulness as each of us realize more and more of God's eternal purpose. So that's where they act like there's some big difference between grinning and bearing it and gratefully accepting it.

Speaker 2:
[79:16] It's so different.

Speaker 1:
[79:18] I mean, duh. Can't you just, it's obvious how different it is. But to me, if you're being told that you need to gratefully accept something, that makes it a lot closer to grinning and bearing it. It's not the same as coming to that acceptance on your own.

Speaker 2:
[79:39] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[79:41] You're being told to accept it gratefully. But totally different. Grinning and bearing it and being told gratefully accept it, totally different. I mean, obviously.

Speaker 2:
[79:53] Couldn't be any more different.

Speaker 1:
[79:56] Finally, what does contentment have to do with marriage? Young people who are grateful for their parents can also be grateful for in-laws. Young people who have thanked God for their own physical defects will be able to be content with the spouse with physical limitations or especially if God allows their children to be born with a defect. Thankful contentment now in singleness will yield to learning contentment in more challenging situations later. This valuable attitude of heart and mind will be necessary for a strong foundation for a marriage that can and will endure the storms of life. Basically, learning contentment while single is like training you to be content in your marriage. You'll be even more ready to gratefully accept the things that you cannot change in your marriage too. To me, it's very like, look at the bright side. By being single, you're getting more time to practice and train in keeping sweet and gratefully accepting all the things. That's what I get out of that.

Speaker 2:
[81:06] If we can teach you to shut up while you're under your parents umbrella, then you'll shut up when you're under your husband's umbrella.

Speaker 1:
[81:13] You'll be so used to it.

Speaker 2:
[81:14] You'll be so used to just shutting up.

Speaker 1:
[81:16] Yep. More time to practice keeping sweet, obeying and being quiet. Now, I'm going to switch over to a piece that focuses on how pride affects contentment. There are many stumbling blocks to contentment, greed, envy, selfishness, and a complaining spirit are all obvious obstacles to having a spirit of contentment. But have you ever considered that there is one root sin that all of these things have in common? The sin is pride, also known as pridefulness. They go for the nests. It's not gratitude, it's gratefulness, it's not just pride, it's pridefulness. They like the nests.

Speaker 2:
[81:57] They think it makes it sound more substantial.

Speaker 1:
[82:02] And then there has a shit ton of analogies about pride being like a virus that I'm gonna skip over. And from here on out, I'm just focusing on the parts that are relevant to contentment and marriage within this whole thing. So next part, quote, A sense of entitlement is intertwined with pride. You mean pridefulness?

Speaker 2:
[82:20] Please.

Speaker 1:
[82:22] A young person who longs for marriage or perhaps yearns for a specific person as a potential spouse is liable to think that he or she deserves something from God. This attitude of entitlement is pride at its root. If we think we deserve any good thing, we are gravely mistaken.

Speaker 2:
[82:41] Damn.

Speaker 1:
[82:42] You hear that?

Speaker 2:
[82:43] Don't you wanna join my cult? Doesn't it sound fantastic?

Speaker 1:
[82:48] If you think you deserve anything good, well, you are mistaken, my friend. Wrong.

Speaker 2:
[82:55] God.

Speaker 1:
[82:56] You don't deserve shit. If you think you deserve a certain type of spouse, or just like, that's pride talking. That's entitlement, all of which is unacceptable. You just need to be content with whatever you get.

Speaker 2:
[83:12] When you yelled out wrong in Mel Brooks' movie Blazing Saddles at the end, Dom DeLuise plays like an old movie director with the big mega horn in his hand. A bunch of these guys are doing this dance number, and he calls cut, and he stomps over there from his little chair, holding his big megaphone thing in his hand, puts it up to his mouth, and puts it right in the face of one of the guys and goes, wrong. That's the energy that you had, and my little Arthur and I used to do that to each other all the time.

Speaker 1:
[83:48] You don't deserve shit.

Speaker 2:
[83:49] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:
[83:50] You think you deserve anything good? Wrong. Wrong. Any who's all. Just like earlier when we were talking about it in more tangible context, and I said it feels like desiring more or better of anything could be weaponized against you as being discontent or temporal. This whole thing we just talked about, this is just another version of that. But instead of it being tangible, it's about wanting marriage or a spouse. So then rather than being called temporal for wanting it, it's just called pride and entitlement. So you see how they went from like, okay, this is what it is when it's more tangible, and then this one is like, oh, about these things. Well, now it's pride and entitlement. So bottom line, don't want for anything, ever. Just be content. Desiring anything at all opens you up to being accused of being temporal, prideful, or entitled. And it's like, have you tried being content? Have you tried not wanting anything ever? Have you tried that?

Speaker 2:
[85:02] Every once in a while when we feed Mildred, she decides that she wants something different. So we'll put food in her bowl and she'll literally look at it and then side-eye us.

Speaker 1:
[85:13] Look up and she's like, ugh.

Speaker 2:
[85:15] Yeah. So maybe you need to start guilting her that way and be like, have you ever thought about choosing contentment?

Speaker 1:
[85:20] Have you tried being content? Fucking temporal cat. Entitled. You think you deserve anything good?

Speaker 2:
[85:30] Wrong.

Speaker 1:
[85:34] To close this part out, I'm going to read the second to last sentence of this piece. Just because I don't know, I feel like it wraps it up nicely. Ready?

Speaker 2:
[85:43] Here we go.

Speaker 1:
[85:44] Humble Christians are contented Christians. Very simple, but I feel like the message is pretty clear. You need to be content at all times. No matter what is going on or what is not going on in your life for that matter, be a contented Christian. Next up, if there were any doubts about how much the teachings on the importance of contentment is pushed within IBLP, I have more evidence for you. Because I know you guys were doubting. You're like, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[86:17] Is that really the case?

Speaker 1:
[86:20] As we've talked about many times before, pretty much anything that ended up in the Duggars' book is ripped straight from IBLP. It's either IBLP and or Dugger teachings that are just regurgitated in the girl's voice. Contentment is no different. I'm going to read some parts from the Your Relationship with Guys chapter. Or if we remember how they go, guys, and then they all giggle. Your relationship with guys. Remember that from that episode?

Speaker 2:
[86:52] You're talking to a boy. That's how that feels.

Speaker 1:
[86:58] It's important to understand that God created us with an inborn need to be accepted and loved. I almost said inbred. With an inborn need to be accepted and loved. If you're a living, breathing person, you want someone to share your day, your passions, your desires, and the depths of your heart. But the truth is, marriage itself cannot make you truly happy. God put that deep need to be loved and accepted in our hearts so that he could be the one to fulfill it. Pausing for a moment, I just want to point out that that pretty much covers the IBLP definition of contentment without being like, here's the definition of contentment. Yeah. Because remember, the definition was realizing that God has already provided everything I need for my present and future happiness. But they're just saying it that he will be the one to fulfill.

Speaker 2:
[87:52] So I can tell you as my spouse, don't think you're going to make me content. The Lord is going to make me content.

Speaker 1:
[87:58] I was already fulfilled before I met you. It continues, when you look to marriage for what only God can give, you make an idol out of marriage. The dictionary definition of idolatry is an extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. Boys, marriage, and love can become idols. So pausing yet again to point out that that is completely in line with what we went over earlier. It's literally everything we talked about just in their voice, like going through the order and now we say that these things can be idols. Remember when we talked about that?

Speaker 2:
[88:38] Yes, I do.

Speaker 1:
[88:39] It's like perfectly moving through it. Also, I find it real fucking rich that it becomes the girl's problem for making marriage into an idol. When the system that they're in is the one responsible for making it such a point of focus. Their entire lives are taught that their purpose in life is to be married and have children. But if they want to be married too much, if they focus on it too much, it's on them for making marriage into an idol. That's their fault.

Speaker 2:
[89:16] Why are you making marriage such a thing right now?

Speaker 1:
[89:19] It's fucking bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[89:20] It really is.

Speaker 1:
[89:21] It's the never-ending cycle of them creating these things and then blaming you for the outcome. Like, oh, this is only the only thing that they're ever told that they can do, and then you're like, oh, you're like too focused on marriage.

Speaker 2:
[89:36] God obsessed much?

Speaker 1:
[89:39] It's ridiculous. All right. Picking back up where we left off. God wants us to have a wholehearted relationship with him, delighting in his word and all that he has to teach us. When we understand that he is trustworthy and faithful, and that he alone knows our every need, then we know where to look for deep love and full acceptance. When we have this kind of close, loving relationship with our Creator, we can experience a joy and fulfillment that would be completely missed if our lives were consumed merely with finding our Prince Charming. This also means that someday, when we do meet the man that God intends as our husbands will already be fulfilled. I told you, I was already fulfilled. And any love that future husbands give us is a bonus over what we're already receiving from our relationship with the Lord. As teenagers and young adults, we need to cherish these single years when we are able to put our focus on serving God and use this time to its fullest. Doesn't that sound like Jill saying that she hopes her next 21 years are like serving the Lord more than her, because it's been like, this is your time to be serving the Lord. Mom has told us older kids many times, if God gives you a full 70 year life, your time as a single person is very short compared to the time you're married. Be content with every stage of life and wherever God has you, use your time wisely and invest in things that will last for eternity. So there it is. Their book truly is a summarized version of IBLP teachings and texts shared in their voice to the masses, who may not realize that it's truly just ripped straight from IBLP.

Speaker 2:
[91:31] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[91:32] But since it's coming from the girls, it's more palatable and or not as obvious to the general public that that's exactly what this is.

Speaker 2:
[91:43] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[91:44] That's the point though. But people don't know, not all people know. People just hear what they think is, wow, these young women, they're sharing things that they sound very convicted on.

Speaker 2:
[91:55] They're so wise, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[91:57] Yep. They're sharing things that sounds very wise and knowledgeable and sounds like good advice.

Speaker 2:
[92:04] Yeah. Throw some pop culture on it and it'll lubricate it, you know.

Speaker 1:
[92:08] And that actually perfectly transitions into some other thoughts I had about this that I wanted to talk about. So, referring back to that kind of testy, the kind of heated talking head interview, I mean, for them, it was heated. Some of the stuff they said had a little mustard on it. It just wasn't the full blown keep sweet that we're accustomed to. So, taking it back to that again, and specifically the part where Jill said, if you're not content right now with being single, you're not going to be content when you're married either. And that on its own is not a bad message.

Speaker 2:
[92:43] No.

Speaker 1:
[92:44] But this is yet another one of those times where I'm like, in a different setting, said by a different person, it would be different.

Speaker 2:
[92:53] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[92:53] I wouldn't think much of it. Beyond being like, yeah, I can agree that it's good to be content with yourself and your life before marriage. But like always, with them, literally everything that they say has an asterisk next to it.

Speaker 2:
[93:10] Can't take anything of face value.

Speaker 1:
[93:12] No. Because even when it sounds like something we agree with, nine times out of 10, it either starts out as something good and devolves into something fucking horrendous, the more that it gets broken down, or it sounds like something we agree with. But in practice, it's very different from what we're thinking of it, and how we would define that message ourselves. For example, when somebody talks about being content with themselves and with your life before getting married, what comes to mind for me is a time of exploration and really getting to know yourself.

Speaker 2:
[93:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[93:52] Finding your identity, maybe solidifying your belief system on your own. I don't even just mean like religion, but just solidifying your beliefs on things, identifying things that are really important to you, like your values or just whatever is important, finding joy and fulfillment and things and people outside of a romantic relationship, just really getting to know and understand yourself and what's important to you on a deeper level.

Speaker 2:
[94:22] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[94:22] That's what I think of when you talk about-

Speaker 2:
[94:26] As being content with yourself before you get married.

Speaker 1:
[94:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[94:29] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[94:31] But that's not what it looks like for them.

Speaker 2:
[94:33] No.

Speaker 1:
[94:34] For them, being content and singleness is what I brought up briefly during the episode recap. It means being happy and content being a stay-at-home daughter until some guy picks you. It means being content with your dad continuing to have final say in everything you do. That's what it means.

Speaker 2:
[94:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[94:55] It means you need to gratefully accept your continued role as a stay-at-home daughter, raising your parents' fucking kids, and having no real control over your life at all. Being content with that.

Speaker 2:
[95:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[95:08] You're not free to explore your options, your beliefs, or your identity outside of the ones that they have prescribed for you. Earlier in the text, I read when they talked about life being filled with unchangeable circumstances, situations, and events that are entirely beyond our control. Being a stay-at-home daughter, waiting to get picked by, you know, waiting around is one of those things.

Speaker 2:
[95:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[95:36] Having no control over your life is one of those unchangeables within their system. They're not going to say that, but for them, that's an unchangeable. Like, nothing you can do about it.

Speaker 2:
[95:45] Yeah, what can you do?

Speaker 1:
[95:46] So you better get content with it real quick, because that's not changing. This is how it works.

Speaker 2:
[95:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[95:53] Because remember, they also said, if we were in control of every aspect of our lives, surely we would make a wreck of things very quickly, because you simply cannot be trusted with controlling your own life.

Speaker 2:
[96:05] I was just thinking that. I'm like, well, I can't be trusted with any of these things. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[96:09] So that's what I mean when I say that even though Jill may have been saying words, words that we agree with, a statement that completely isolated, we could get behind, and that many people might find to be good advice. In practice, what she's saying is not the same as what we're thinking though.

Speaker 2:
[96:32] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[96:33] Their version of being content with yourself and your life before marriage is not the same as ours. So that's exactly why they can be so dangerous at times. When they say something that people think is, that's sound advice. It's easier for people to believe that they know what the they're talking about and are full of wisdom, and that what they say has weight to it, while not fully understanding what it actually means in practice, or all of the other problematic bullshit that comes with it. But if people believe it sounds like good advice, the easier it is for them to not realize or see the problems within it. That's exactly how some people get suckered into all of this.

Speaker 2:
[97:19] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[97:20] They get sucked in with those grains of truth, or statements that sound correct, isolated on their own.

Speaker 2:
[97:29] Yeah. It's like everything's been whitewashed to... We talk about this so many times, examining so many of these IBLP related things, where it gets sanitized, so it's more easily acceptable to people that aren't digging that hard.

Speaker 1:
[97:46] And how many people heard Jill say, if you're not content being single, you're not going to be content. And they're like, oh man, she's right. And we're like, yeah. When really I truly believe that they push these teachings of contentment as a way to keep people, I mean, especially the singles, and then even more specifically, single women.

Speaker 2:
[98:08] Women.

Speaker 1:
[98:09] They push these teachings of contentment as a way to keep them from questioning anything or branching out in any kind of real way. So they can continue to maintain control of them until they get married off. If they can teach these young women, I mean, as children, but if they can just teach them their entire way to convince themselves that they're totally content with their lives because it's ingrained in them, that they need to be content with their lives. If they have them believe that, there's way less of a chance that they're going to step out from under the umbrella.

Speaker 2:
[98:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[98:53] So the IBLP and Duggar version of contentment is just a way for authorities to maintain control of them and make sure that they keep to the script. Like the script of the teachings and also the prescribed life role that they're taught. For them, contentment is not this healthy thing that they come into on their own. It's not self-discovery or exploring the world. It's just yet another tool of control. That's why literally everything they say has a star next to it. Everything. Even if it sounds you're like, oh, that sounds good. Everything.

Speaker 2:
[99:36] You can't trust it.

Speaker 1:
[99:37] I cannot stress that enough. Every IBLP teaching has a specific purpose behind it. There's always an angle. The purpose and angle behind singles needing to be content is for their parents to maintain control as their little arrows are growing up and becoming adults. This is just another way to be like, okay, we had these other things when they're little. Well, now they're older. Contentment is what will keep them in line.

Speaker 2:
[100:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[100:08] Keep them under the umbrella.

Speaker 2:
[100:08] Because the off-ramp, if you are leaving your parents' household or leaving their umbrella, that's the chance for stuff to go wrong. In their head, that looks like you as a child leaving the cult. It's a way to secure that that transfer happens without you going astray while you're switching umbrellas.

Speaker 1:
[100:34] Because they're so content.

Speaker 2:
[100:36] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[100:36] I'm so content. I don't even need to look at anything. I won't even think about anything else. Once again, I feel like these teachings are mostly geared towards women. Just like how last week when we talked about divorce, I acknowledged that parts of the book were more broad and could be, and are talking to both men and women. But it felt to me like it was very much more so geared towards women. Specific sections were absolutely blatantly geared towards women. It's in the titles, in the way it was worded. Sometimes it was blatant. But even the parts that were presented a bit more broadly, I still feel strongly that the overall message was mostly geared towards women. I feel the same about these teachings on contentment too. I think it's mostly geared towards women because they're the ones who have little to no control over their lives.

Speaker 2:
[101:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[101:32] Single men still have more control than a single woman ever will.

Speaker 2:
[101:36] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[101:38] Men are the ones who initiate courtships and marriage, while women are just supposed to sit around waiting to get picked like it's a game of fucking dodgeball or something. So the women are literally waiting to get picked by some fucking IBLP dork, while all the men's are in control of their life and their situation. Their father is currently in complete control of their life. Then when some guy becomes interested, then he and the father together take control of the situation in the form of getting together and talking and setting up a courtship, and then if it all works out, then she gets passed along like property when they get married. But in the season of singleness, she has no control over situation. She never does, but she has no as a single, she has none compared. She can't take any steps on her own, even if she is interested in someone, because that's the guy's job. She just has to sit around and wait and hope that somebody comes along for her at some point.

Speaker 2:
[102:52] Wait at an alligator restaurant in Florida.

Speaker 1:
[102:54] Yeah. So even though, and then comparing this to the young men, even though they're still living at home and technically still under their parents' authority, they have more control over their situation and their lives and their futures because they're the ones who get to do the picking and initiating. So it's not even comparable to what the women experience. And they can be like, oh, they're still under their parents' authority. It's not the fucking same.

Speaker 2:
[103:21] No, not remotely.

Speaker 1:
[103:23] So because they do have control in that way, the men, because they do have control in that way, even if they're still living at home under the parents' authority, teachings on contentment don't need to be geared towards them as much. Because as always, it's the women who get the real shit end of the deal. So that's why these things need to be geared towards them. Just like how last week I said that the reason the teachings on divorce are geared towards women, is because they're the ones much more likely to want to get out of their shitty fucking marriage.

Speaker 2:
[103:55] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[103:56] It's the same thing with this. Women are most likely to feel discontent because they have no power or control over their own situations and lives and futures. So teaching them contentment is drilled into them to try to get ahead of that. If we can ahead of time be teaching this to you your entire life by the time you get there, smooth sailing. I think that's why we always hear about the topic of contentment, either coming from the girls or about the girls in the show, and never from or about the guys.

Speaker 2:
[104:38] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[104:39] Like for example, talk of contentment never comes up in the show when they talk about John David and how he's single. They do talk about him being single and unmarried, but they never talk about him needing to be content.

Speaker 2:
[104:52] No.

Speaker 1:
[104:53] They talk about things like how he's doing things that will benefit him later on when he is married, like how he'll already have a house and how he's making and giving money and how this will benefit him someday when he does get married and has a family. But they don't talk about contentment with him because he does have that control. He can decide to initiate courtships when girls can't. Even if courtships don't work out, the guys still have control over being the one to initiate them.

Speaker 2:
[105:25] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[105:26] The girls don't get that. They don't get to be proactive about their own lives or future in any kind of real way. Even though John David is still living at home, he gets to be able to go out and do things that are like taking steps and working towards the future, having some direction towards his future. But his sisters don't get any of that. They're just stuck at home, taking care of their parents' children, and filling time until they get picked.

Speaker 2:
[105:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[105:58] Which made me think of part of Jessa's reply to one of the questions that I had skipped over earlier. I'm going to reread it in full with some of the extra that I cut before. It's not like we just sit around eating bonbons all day waiting for Prince Charming. I mean, we're doing things to prepare ourselves for the future. Like Jill and Jana, they've been in the fire department. They're studying to be midwives. They're at prenatals a lot, working, learning stuff. It's not just sitting around, oh, I hope my Prince Charming comes. Marriage is not the end all. So that's not how we look at it. So the part that I included this time that I'd left out before was talking about doing things to prepare for the future.

Speaker 2:
[106:41] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[106:42] But let's be fucking real. It's filler. It's filler that they're allowed to do so that they stay content and don't get too bored or too discouraged or have too much time on their hands to think about things. They have too much time to think about things. They might think about how they're really not that content and maybe a little discouraged.

Speaker 2:
[107:05] Yeah. If it wasn't that way, they would have an opportunity after they got married to continue doing that. Oh, you got married, you were doing this fire department thing before. Oh, maybe there's an option that you can go out and make that your job as a woman in this. That's not an option. That's not even remotely on the table.

Speaker 1:
[107:27] Nope. That's exactly why I called it Filler, because Jana and Jill are not going to be firefighters once they're married.

Speaker 2:
[107:32] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[107:33] It is just filling their time for now. It's like busy work.

Speaker 2:
[107:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[107:38] Keep them busy so that they stay content and won't think too much about the lack of control they have over their lives and their futures while they sit and wait to get picked by some fucking dork that Daddy Dugger approves.

Speaker 2:
[107:51] And thinking about it through Jill, Jill's doing the midwife stuff, right? That doesn't even feel, obviously, her situation now is very different, but if she had stayed and they were still in it, in it, that wouldn't have continued.

Speaker 1:
[108:05] So I still think of it as Filler in the sense that it's an approved activity to keep her busy and occupied during her season of singleness. It is definitely one of the more approved things that maybe on a small scale can continue after they're married, but certainly not in a full-time manner, you know what I mean? No fucking way. No. But none of this is quite the preparing for the future that Jessa is trying to sell. It's like, no, I'm sorry. It's filler. It is filling your time. It is busy work so that you can't think about how maybe you're not all that content.

Speaker 2:
[108:54] You okay?

Speaker 1:
[108:54] Yeah. Just keep them busy so they don't start to think about how they may not.

Speaker 2:
[108:59] How this system sucks.

Speaker 1:
[109:01] How they might actually want more for themselves. It's like if you're not busy enough raising the kids, okay, we'll approve a few select activities.

Speaker 2:
[109:11] A few extracurriculars, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[109:12] Yes. Then maybe after they get done with their volunteer work at the fire department, maybe Jim Bob will be like, have you guys tried reading Psalms? Don't wait to become discouraged. Just start reading now.

Speaker 2:
[109:28] A preemptive Psalmsing.

Speaker 1:
[109:30] Yeah, get ahead of it. While the main focus of today was to discuss the teachings of contentment more, more focused on looking at it through the lens of being single since that's the context in which we hear about it most often in the show, I did just want to briefly touch on how in general their teachings on contentment are designed to tamper down any preferences, desires, or expectations they may have at all. I know we talked about it a bit earlier, especially with the more tangible type things, but now I want to talk about it in terms of what you might envision in a partner or for your life and future. With that in mind, I'm going to once again refer to that Duggirl group interview from the Waller wedding episode.

Speaker 2:
[110:13] It's the tree that keeps dropping fruit.

Speaker 1:
[110:16] It is. The part where they're talking about what they think the other girls might be looking for in person or in marriage. So they're saying, like Jessa says that she needs someone that's more mild than her, like the opposite of her basically, and shit like that, and whatever. Then for Ginger, it's like, she needs someone that can supply her coffee. But then Jessa says that Ginger doesn't want to live three hours out from civilization. Ginger said, no. Okay, city please, city please. But then she instantly has to soften that a bit, because that's what they're taught to do. That was a little too forceful, and certainly didn't sound like she'd be content with something else. So Ginger softens it up a bit by saying, but I'd be okay anywhere, but city would be awesome. As soon as she said that, fucking Jill comes in with the lesson and says, but if you didn't get somebody like that, the Lord could be working and teaching you something in that area. So then Ginger says, yes, that's for sure. I need to work on a lot of this, contentment, being content. I'd learn it.

Speaker 2:
[111:38] So funny looking back at shit like this now, and being like, there's so many layers.

Speaker 1:
[111:44] It is. Everything they say means something.

Speaker 2:
[111:48] Everything's coded. Everything is coded, yep.

Speaker 1:
[111:51] Yep. All right. So kind of dissecting that whole thing. So first of all, shut up, Jill. Teacher. Just let the poor girl dream of living in the city without turning it into a fucking lesson. Going off what you just said, I know that she's a mercy giver, but she was given a little prophet teacher.

Speaker 2:
[112:14] It felt very teachery.

Speaker 1:
[112:15] A little prophet teacher in that moment. It's like, shut up, Jill. Let her have a fucking moment, where she's just like, it would be really great to live in it. Oh, I got to work on my contentment. I'd learn it. Even though it's like a giggly little moment, that I think a lot of people, you're just watching it, you brush it off, and you really think nothing of it. But I actually find it incredibly sad. You can truly feel how much that is something that Ginger really wants. But then as soon as Jill made that comment, you watch Ginger kick into the script and the realization of what she said. So it's actually very sad. It was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to work on that. I got to work on my contentment, being content. Yeah, I'd learn it.

Speaker 2:
[113:01] Yeah, she popped right back into the buzzwords and the right thing, the script.

Speaker 1:
[113:06] Yep. How dare she have a dream, and God forbid, a preference for what she would like her future to end up like, to look like, to be like. That's not very content of her to have a specific preference like that. She needs to be content with whatever happens. Whatever the men in her life dictate, she needs to be content with it. That's, of course, not to say that people can't have an idea, a dream, or a vision of what they thought they wanted or honestly still want and would prefer, but due to circumstances, they become content with something else that's different than they originally envisioned. That's totally okay, and that happens all the fucking time. Very few of us are completely living out exactly everything we envisioned or would prefer in our lives. But we have come to be content with what we do have and where we are, which is incredibly normal and also can be incredibly healthy. But the problem here is the fact that they're made to feel like they can't have preferences or visions for things that they want because that's not being content, and that's not gratefully accepting things in their life the way that they're expected to.

Speaker 2:
[114:34] Dreams, who needs them?

Speaker 1:
[114:36] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[114:37] Think about it, if looking at it through the subject matter that they were talking to all the girls about. They were obviously talking about men, future husbands. You can't have these girls dreaming of some dream man that they want, because look at the options that they're going to get.

Speaker 1:
[114:58] Slim pickings.

Speaker 2:
[115:00] You can't have Anna thinking about this dream man when pest is what you got.

Speaker 1:
[115:06] Yeah, that's who picked her for dodgeball.

Speaker 2:
[115:09] And she had no chance to switch teams.

Speaker 1:
[115:13] Oh, you know. So kind of working off the idea of like the problem in this is that it seems to be that they aren't supposed to have any kind of visions of anything, you know, and that any preferences of any kind.

Speaker 2:
[115:25] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[115:26] And that that's the problem in this. But I also feel like with them, this isn't about adapting and being flexible. It's about not having any type of preference or expectations to begin with.

Speaker 2:
[115:40] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[115:41] And that's incredibly different. And that line of thinking and teaching certainly doesn't stop after they get married. This whole thing had me thinking back to last week's dig, and the part that talked about how husbands can become prisoners of their wives' expectations. Those poor things. Won't somebody think of the men's?

Speaker 2:
[116:02] They're the real victim here, you know.

Speaker 1:
[116:04] It's fucking asinine and rage inducing. So remember how I was saying that in response, he'll do anything he can to reduce the number of expectations that his wife has for him. Because then if she has little to no expectations of him, he can, quote, go beyond her expectations and enjoy her admiration.

Speaker 2:
[116:24] The key to happiness.

Speaker 1:
[116:26] That's literally teaching women to have no expectations of their husbands.

Speaker 2:
[116:31] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[116:31] Which to me, I view that as just another way of teaching women contentment without actually using the word contentment.

Speaker 2:
[116:39] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[116:41] Be content with getting absolutely nothing from them. Have no expectations of them whatsoever, and then you'll be totally content with the little crumbs that he gives you. So without actually using the word content or contentment. That is absolutely another version of teaching women to be content no matter what. Telling someone not to have expectations or preferences is also saying, just be content.

Speaker 2:
[117:09] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[117:11] So you can see how this all weaves together. It all reinforces each other. All these seemingly small and individual things all add up to something huge. Something much bigger. And that's why I feel like it's so important that we dig into these seemingly small things, because they really do end up being so much more than I think people realize. I think it's really easy to watch the show and just hear them say these things over and over again and not think much of it. I get that. I understand. But like we were saying, everything means something. If you've heard them say it more than once, it means something.

Speaker 2:
[117:55] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[117:56] Character, training, encouragement, contentment. Each of those has a much deeper meaning than one might think just casually watching the show. A constant through line in all of these is suppressing your feelings, emotions, thoughts, desires, expectations, all of it. That's the root of all of these things. And then they tell you how you should feel or present instead. So be content. Don't be discouraged. Don't be bitter. Smile. That's the focus.

Speaker 2:
[118:32] I feel like us watching this, Top Chef has trained me to watch our recaps. Because when Whitney and I watch Top Chef, and they're doing like the quick fire challenge, and as they're showing the different competitors doing different things, one of them will be like, oh, I feel like I have plenty of time to finish this. And we're always like, the fact that they said that.

Speaker 1:
[118:59] And made sure that that made the edit.

Speaker 2:
[119:01] Yep, means that that's going to be an issue later on. And then sure as shit later on, they're starting to run out of time after they had talked about how they totally thought that they had. So, it's the brain thing of us watching and going, oh, that's gonna be a thing. It's like Chekhov's gun in, if you know what that reference is, in a play, in a book. If they take the time to specify out a gun in something, you're like, that gun's gonna get shot in the third act. You know what I mean? It's going to get used. So, that's how this feels, where now my brain is picking up these flags of them saying these things, and if they say something twice, my head cocks to the side.

Speaker 1:
[119:42] It means something. If it's been said repeatedly, it means something. One final thing that I just wanted to point out, just for fun, almost. Remember how back in the How to Wife dig, where we went over the seven basic needs of a husband?

Speaker 2:
[120:02] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[120:02] Of course, one of the things is that men look for a wife that is meek and quiet and spirit, because of course they do. Remember how each character quality has an animal assigned to it, that Billy G says exemplifies that character quality? Well, for contentment, it's the deer mouse saying quote, It displays contentment in its ability to make its home almost anywhere, making itself comfortable with whatever is available. So the reason I bring that up is because, like we said, I feel like these teachings on contentment are mostly geared towards women. The talk about how wives are expected to be meek, had me thinking about how meekness is associated with mice. Think of the whole saying, meek is a mouse. Just how perfect. That just had me, I was going, oh, man, how ironic and perfect and funny that women are also expected to be content at all times like a mouse, like a deer mouse.

Speaker 2:
[121:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[121:11] So both of these things are like my- why don't they just marry a fucking mouse? Because apparently, that's what they're looking for. All the attributes of a mouse is right up their alley. They're meek, they're content. Mice are wife material.

Speaker 2:
[121:32] If you give a mouse a marriage, it's the IBLP kids book.

Speaker 1:
[121:38] Okay, I lied. I actually have one more thing I wanted to bring up.

Speaker 2:
[121:41] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[121:42] So in one of the IBLP pieces that I referenced earlier, it covered several things about preparing for marriage and things like that. With being content while single, being just one of them. So there were a lot of other things said that I didn't include because it wasn't really in line with our topic.

Speaker 2:
[122:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[122:00] But there is one thing I wanted to share.

Speaker 2:
[122:02] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[122:03] It's kind of quick and just thrown in there the way they do without going into a lot of detail. But in just a few sentences, it sure says a whole hell of a lot. So here goes. Many factors are involved in preparation for marriage. For example, the effect on the entire family must be considered. How will a sibling respond when an older brother or sister is married? Who will fill the new vacancy at home?

Speaker 2:
[122:30] Like it's a fucking job opening.

Speaker 1:
[122:33] Sure said a lot, didn't it? I feel like it perfectly lines up with what I said at the very end of the episode recap where Jill was saying that she didn't know if she was ready for marriage yet or not. But if not, that's okay too. And I said, I think it's less about her being ready and more about her parents not being ready for her to be married because they still need her. Doesn't this prove my point?

Speaker 2:
[122:59] It's so bad.

Speaker 1:
[122:59] Like it literally saying the effects on the entire family must be considered and who will fit the new vacancy at home. That is wild shit to put in print. Literally saying that you need to stop and think about what it's going to do to the family. They might not be able to do without you just yet. They may not have someone to step in and take over your place as sister mom.

Speaker 2:
[123:25] Yeah. Those three kids, who's going to raise them?

Speaker 1:
[123:28] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[123:28] There's nobody in that house that can do it.

Speaker 1:
[123:30] Yeah. You might need to put your life and future on hold so as not to leave a vacancy in the home. It's fucking wild.

Speaker 2:
[123:39] It's so bad.

Speaker 1:
[123:40] The part about how will a sibling respond when the older brother or sister is married, I think that's really unfair too. I'm not going to get too far into that today because we will talk about that much more in depth in the future when it actually comes up in the show. But it definitely is something that can be really hard on younger siblings. It was hard on me and I wasn't even raised by my sisters. It was just knowing that it was a huge change and that things would never be the same again. I was a very interesting, I was a thinker and so it's like, I was very aware of things are never going to be the same. It was a struggle for me and they weren't sister moms. For them, there's an even added layer to the dynamic. But even so, I think that's really unfair to put on an older sibling. As sad and hard as it might be, it's not their job to put their life on hold for the rest of the family. I just wanted to share that little part because it lined up so well. With what I said in the recap, it's crazy. So that wraps up our dig into contentment with a special focus and emphasis on being content while single.

Speaker 2:
[124:52] There's so many things now that I'm paying attention to. Obviously, you had an understanding of things more than I did from before, but obviously you digging into all this stuff is just expanding that way more. But it is funny to think about where we started and the amount of not only subject matter that I'm familiar with now, but then the things that catch my ear as well, things that before would have never been anything.

Speaker 1:
[125:22] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[125:23] You know?

Speaker 1:
[125:23] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[125:24] I'll admit it. When Jill said that about you got to, essentially, you got to learn to be content by yourself, or you'll never be content being married, I was like, that's oddly profound for somebody who grew up in this system.

Speaker 1:
[125:38] See? In that moment, I instantly clocked that people would feel that way.

Speaker 2:
[125:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[125:43] But I was like, now without getting into all of this, I didn't necessarily, I hadn't read up on contentment all that deep and whatever. But I still knew, I'm like, something's not right there. But I knew, I'm like, people are going to think that that's great advice because on its own, isolated.

Speaker 2:
[125:59] It is.

Speaker 1:
[126:00] It is.

Speaker 2:
[126:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[126:01] But I instantly was like, because I can feel it.

Speaker 2:
[126:08] That was a good dig.

Speaker 1:
[126:09] Thanks.

Speaker 2:
[126:10] Be contented. Be contented.

Speaker 1:
[126:13] Be contented. Be contented.

Speaker 2:
[126:17] Before we dig on some stuff, can I have one moment with the nerds?

Speaker 1:
[126:23] You may.

Speaker 2:
[126:24] All right. This probably affects a very, very small wedge of our listeners. But if you are any sort of video game nerd or kid that's around our era, Pokemon Champions just came out and I am obsessed with it. It is. I have never been involved in any sort of competitive Pokemon anything, but I like watching it and this is a very cool entry level way to get into it. And I am obsessed. And I hope that there's some semblance of digging up the Duggars fan out there that is enjoying it because I am really enjoying it. I just wanted to share that.

Speaker 1:
[127:05] Nice.

Speaker 2:
[127:06] Create a little sub community in our community. But shall we dig on some things?

Speaker 1:
[127:12] We shall.

Speaker 2:
[127:13] I am digging on not only a new genre of music that I've never listened to, but something that just scratches a lot of itches in my brain. So, it came up after an album I was listening to ended, and then it starts giving you music that's similar when it's done. And a group came up called Bungalow Collect. And when I looked at it, all of their album covers keep saying the term disco rap, which sounds like a weird mashup. But what I absolutely love about it is the music is so 70s inspired and I've said this on here before, you can hear who their influences were and who they liked, because the music is so 70s centric. But then you have really talented, thoughtful lyricists rapping over it. And it is such a cool blend. And I've sent it to like 15 people and all of them are like, this is bad ass. So I am...

Speaker 1:
[128:22] I've never heard of it.

Speaker 2:
[128:24] It's a new thing. It was literally from this week. So I am digging on a brand new genre of disco rap from a band called Bungalow Collect.

Speaker 1:
[128:34] Bungalow Collect, okay. I'll have to look it up. Okay, so I am digging on our little sometime son, little Ronald. He's been coming around a lot lately, which is sort of unexpected because it starts to taper. Ron's season is almost up. It's almost over. Ronald's season runs from about October to about May. So it's coming to an end here pretty soon because as soon as it gets hot, he stops making the trek. It's too hot outside, he seems to just stay home and I don't blame him. So it starts to taper off, but today we're wondering if he was outside all day.

Speaker 2:
[129:18] So he hadn't been here for a while. I remember telling Whitney, I'm like, I hope Ron's okay. We haven't seen him in a long time.

Speaker 1:
[129:26] Now he's been popping up.

Speaker 2:
[129:27] Then one morning he showed up. So this morning I opened the door. I was actually taking out some trash before I went to work, and little Ronald was outside. So I waited a little bit, scratched him, talked to him, had a little chat with our sometime son, and then I left. I got in my car and I was backing out of the driveway. He was sitting like a student on the front stoop. I went out about my work day, and when I got back in the afternoon, I rolled up and he was a turkey on our front mat. Still.

Speaker 1:
[130:01] So then Tim called me, and so then I came outside and I sat with him for a while. But we were like, has he been here all day? Because he also can get real mousy. Sometimes he wants you to know he's there, and he will stand at the front door and he will just go, rawr, rawr, or sometimes he goes to the kitchen window because he knows I'm there a lot because the sink is right there, and he'll stand at the window and he'll meow. So I'm like, I didn't hear any meows. So if he was there all day, he was just chilling. Yeah. So little Ronald, sweet little Ronald. Then when I came in, I hadn't washed my hands and Mildred came over and her nose was going on my hand that I was petting him with.

Speaker 2:
[130:39] I was sitting like three, four feet away and I could hear her sniffing. Yeah, she was getting her trusty action going.

Speaker 1:
[130:49] I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'll go wash my hand because that was the one that I was scratching in his neck and chin, really giving him good scratches and scratches. So she was like, the fuck is this? But little Ronald, he's a sweet little man. The pissiest faced.

Speaker 2:
[131:07] Yeah, I love his little pissy ass face.

Speaker 1:
[131:08] He has a pissy face, but he is so sweet. And I love, I love that. I love that the fact that he has a pissy face and then he's not like that at all. I think that makes it even better. I love it. So yeah, I'm digging on our sometime son, our seasonal son, little Ronald.

Speaker 2:
[131:25] Ronald. That's a good digging off. Sorry, Mildred. Well, if you'd like to support the work that we do, head on over to buymeacoffee.com/digging up the doug. You can support us in a one-off fashion by buying us a coffee, or you can support us by becoming a member. With that, you gain access to our ad-free episodes and bonus content. We've got all sorts of stuff over there for our Pickle People. Take a peek at our episode visuals and Mildred related content on Instagram at digginguptheduggarspod. We do have merch at digginguptheduggars.dashery.com. Of course, we have a PO. Box 5973, Glendale, Arizona 85312.