transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] I'm Kristina.

Speaker 2:
[00:00] And I'm T.

Speaker 1:
[00:01] And this is the Pretty In Pink Again Podcast.

Speaker 2:
[00:03] Where motherhood meets rediscovery.

Speaker 1:
[00:17] Today, we're sitting down with Andrea Hurley, wife of Dan Hurley and someone who has been living inside one of the most high pressure environments in college sports. As the head coach of the University of Connecticut men's basketball program, Dan Hurley took over in 2018, and within just a few years, completely rebuilt the team, leading them to back to back national championships and another championship appearance this year. From the outside, it looks like success at the highest level, but behind that level of success is a life most people don't see. The pressure, the expectations, the constant highs and lows, the moving, the unknowns, the rebuilding, not just of a program, but of a life. Being a partner to someone, carrying that level of responsibility and quietly carrying pieces of it too. At the same time, being a mother, raising two boys through it all, creating stability in a life that is anything but predictable and having family be her top priority. Today just isn't a conversation about what's happening on the court. It's about what it takes to hold everything together behind the scenes and what it looks like to stay connected to yourself in the middle of it all.

Speaker 3:
[01:23] That's the thing. You don't know. There's no book on it. There is no book on it.

Speaker 1:
[01:31] I cannot imagine.

Speaker 3:
[01:33] Now, I'm just so comfortable with it.

Speaker 1:
[01:35] But there's not a lot of yous that speak about it. I feel like they're very behind the scenes. I think that's why everybody's been coming at you, because everyone just sits there.

Speaker 3:
[01:47] I'm bored as shit, so I'm like, hey.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] You're like, hey, let's talk. Let's do something else.

Speaker 3:
[01:55] Because my husband's... The thing is, you know how it started? Because my husband's nuts, and I want everybody to know that I'm okay. I'm not in a closet somewhere.

Speaker 1:
[02:13] You sit at the games to make sure that like... Because if you were, like I'm over-framed.

Speaker 2:
[02:19] Everything's terrific. Now that we've listened to enough interviews, it's maybe questionable. Maybe Dan's locked in the closet when he gets home.

Speaker 3:
[02:28] Oh, no. Oh, yeah. No, and he was...

Speaker 1:
[02:31] If he was missing, we might question.

Speaker 3:
[02:34] Yeah, I'm tough. I will say.

Speaker 1:
[02:38] I love the perspective because I just always feel like when I'm watching and it's always about them and then there's no... You're like, first of all, that's great, but there's no behind the scenes and you're like, you know there is a behind the scenes. Then you're like, why does she not speak?

Speaker 3:
[02:54] You speak.

Speaker 1:
[02:55] Well, she does, right. But I'm saying, that's why I think that everybody's, oh, this is so different. The perspective is so different. We're hearing from her.

Speaker 3:
[03:03] Well, you know what it is? It's like, of course. And you keep him in check.

Speaker 2:
[03:05] Well, that's it.

Speaker 3:
[03:06] But the thing is, everybody surface sees. They see everybody, your financials are out in the open.

Speaker 2:
[03:13] Your financials are quite literally for public. Anybody can look at it. If you're a state employee, it's listed right there.

Speaker 3:
[03:19] So what do they think? They think I'm sitting home eating bonbons all day. I do. What does she do? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Nobody is doing this unless they get paid. I'm going to say that. I mean, it's our entire life. It's my kids' entire life.

Speaker 2:
[03:35] Your extended family.

Speaker 3:
[03:37] My extended family.

Speaker 2:
[03:38] Every year, it could change, right? Oh, yeah. Even within a contract, any year it can change.

Speaker 3:
[03:44] How they perform is your entire life, because if they don't perform, you have a public job. I'm tough. I will credit my jersey. I will credit all that. It does get to you because people are ignorant. They'll come up and they'll say anything to you. Then that's when I snook you out and I will make a scene. It's like, I don't want that. You get nervous to go out if things aren't going well.

Speaker 2:
[04:13] You're putting where you're living, your family, your livelihood on basically college students and their performance, which is so crazy when you think about the chain of events. Then you have to edit yourself out in public. On this podcast, we want to hear the unedited Andrea, where you've come from. We want to hear about the Jersey Girl, how you and Dan met, all the things and we'll really get into it.

Speaker 1:
[04:37] We were talking too about, for anybody who's not from Connecticut, you don't understand that we don't have a real professional sports team. We don't have an NBA basketball team.

Speaker 2:
[04:48] We don't have anything in the state.

Speaker 1:
[04:49] We really don't have anything.

Speaker 2:
[04:50] We had the Whalers once upon a time.

Speaker 1:
[04:53] So UConn Sports is everything to anybody in Connecticut. And Connecticut's pretty small. So it's like the entire state. There's no division. There's no other school that competes with it like that. So Connecticut sports are intense. Connecticut fans are intense. And we are coming off another huge season. So championship game, second in the country, which for most people is like such a high, right? But we want to talk about living inside of it. And you've been so public. You've been out there this season just chatting with all different sorts of media and giving your perspective. And I think that people are really drawn to hearing that side of it. What is it like from the wife's perspective? We hear about it from the coach's perspective, obviously, and from the players. But what is it like for the family living inside of that? This is intense.

Speaker 3:
[05:46] Yeah. I'll just say about Connecticut. When you do well, right now, we've been here eight years. Like, not just the program is our entire family, everybody in it, but now it's the state. And we know when you do well, we're all like, we're all one big family, you know? And you need the fans. And we are a big family. We're all connected by something that just brings us so much joy most of the time, thank God. But there are times like this year, our fans pissed me off. And I'm like, it wasn't good enough. We weren't blowing teams out. And that annoyed me. And then I said to myself, like, we're family, families fight. You get mad at us, we get mad at you. You don't even just like...

Speaker 1:
[06:26] You'll make back up next year.

Speaker 3:
[06:27] It's fine. And I'm just like, stop. But, you know, it just feels... To be a part of something like this, nobody expected this. We were just in high school a very short time ago. So to build this, like how he did it and took baby steps to get here and like just his attention to detail and just his like how he works. He's the hardest working person that I know as far as he made this entire business his entire life and then pulled us in. So it's all our lives too. And it's just when it goes good, it's great. When it doesn't, it is heavy. It's torture. It's torture.

Speaker 1:
[07:10] How? Because there was a loss right at the end, which it was even crazy as a fan, right? That they were even there again this year. It was like, it came out of nowhere. There was that insane game with the play that will go down in history, winning that game.

Speaker 3:
[07:26] I just watched it this morning 12 times.

Speaker 1:
[07:28] With shivers. It's like what movies are made out of.

Speaker 2:
[07:30] And then I've watched everybody's reactions, like your mother-in-law's reaction in the stands, like, holy shit, like all of these different clips.

Speaker 3:
[07:40] It gives me, even there's this one CBS. I have it on my, I saved it on my Instagram. I will watch it every single day. I don't think I'll ever get tired.

Speaker 1:
[07:47] Was it the one in such slow-mo?

Speaker 3:
[07:49] Yes, it's slow-mo and it's like the tick, tick, tick. And then it goes in and then everybody's jumping around and it just shows little pieces.

Speaker 1:
[07:57] You don't like shivers.

Speaker 3:
[07:58] Shit, because you don't, I think it made more of an impact after.

Speaker 1:
[08:02] After. Well, people couldn't even believe what they saw. And then everybody had to like almost relive it over and over again. And it was just one of those moments in sports that people are like, this is what a movie is based off of. It was like a movie could be made off of that last five minutes of that game.

Speaker 3:
[08:17] We beat St. John's by like 30 something. I'm like, dude, we want to win the whole thing this year. And then we went like at the end of the season and then we get smacked by however many and then we lose to teams that we should not have lost to. And I'm like, we just ran out of gas. My husband's like, people don't realize how hard this is. We lost four games by the end of the year. I'm like, this is tough. Like you, this doesn't happen. At the beginning of the year, we were blown, you know, like these amazing teams where you don't know what's going to happen. You make the schedule and you hope for the best. But it's just like, wow, they did it. And then, you know, at the end, you're like, whoa, did they run out of gas at the end? And then, and then I'm saying, okay, we lost to Marquette. That was a tough one because it handed St. John's. Like they got both the end accolades there, which is so annoying. Then I'm just like, dude, it's okay. It's all right. Like we're good. It was a great season. But I'm like, that sucks that we're going to end this season. It was such a great season. But this is all that people give a shit about is how you finish at the end.

Speaker 1:
[09:24] The finale.

Speaker 2:
[09:24] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[09:25] Right. So what is happening at home during those moments, like during all of the games, are you the one holding it together emotionally? Is it chaos? Is there so much stress?

Speaker 2:
[09:36] And what do you even, and what do you say after a win or a loss?

Speaker 3:
[09:39] Okay. The season's heavy. I'm not going to lie. The second the season starts, it's like, it's almost like having a baby. Like you forget how like the birth of a baby, you forget how brutal it is, but you can't wait to do it again, you know? And then you're like, whoa, this sucks. Even when you're winning, it's one game after the next. It's like 130.

Speaker 2:
[09:57] I feel like it's a long season. I feel like it's the whole school season.

Speaker 3:
[10:00] And you notice it's the winter, so it gets dark so early up. It's the days feel like they're brutal. Like we, I think we figured it out. We've been doing this for 30 years. So we have it down pat now, especially my kids are out of the house. Like my focus is him. I make sure during the season, he has every single thing. That's what I do. And back, you know, a few years back, you had to be ashamed to say that. I cook, I clean, I bake. I'm obsessed with that. That's what I do. I'm a nurturer. I make sure everything is nice. That's my job and not to brag, but I think that really helps our season. And I have everything prepared and it's my job. And I do it with pride. And when we win, it's like amazing. We celebrate that. When we lose, it's a heavy, I can't even begin to explain. I'll wake up in the morning. I wake up a lot of times, the first thing my brain does is like, where am I? I don't travel that much, but sometimes, I did a little bit more than I wanted to this year, but I'll wake up, I'm like, where am I? I'll look around. Did we win? Do we lose? It's the first thing I always ask myself. I'm just programmed for that. And I'm like, oh, we didn't play last night, or we did. And if we did, it's quiet. He's a quiet, what they could have done, what they should have done, like reflecting. Yeah. So that's heavy. And I will always say a win, that excitement from a win does not last that long.

Speaker 1:
[11:30] Cause you're worried about the next game.

Speaker 3:
[11:32] Then we prepare and he'll come home that night, he'll have ice cream. Like it's like, he has a shtick. He'll go to bed at a normal time. Like he comes home late, but then he'll always have pizza and ice cream. Like it's like a third grader.

Speaker 1:
[11:44] To celebrate.

Speaker 3:
[11:45] A frozen pizza and an ice cream, everyone.

Speaker 1:
[11:50] But then it's got to be like on to the next, right? Like you can't even get yourself so psyched to celebrate your on to the next.

Speaker 3:
[11:56] And if we lose, he doesn't go to bed till four or five in the morning.

Speaker 2:
[11:59] Will he just rewatch and perseverate over the moves of the watch now?

Speaker 3:
[12:03] Sometimes, you notice it's like the round robin of phone calls through all the coaches, what they could have done talking about players. I'm like, it's over, tomorrow you could do that, no, tomorrow they're going to prepare for the next game.

Speaker 1:
[12:16] So what about a loss of a season? So the championship game, lose at the last minute, how long does it take for life to feel normal again?

Speaker 3:
[12:26] We always said, in fact, my son said it, we talked about it and we said, oh my God, imagine getting to the end and losing in the championship. Because I'm like, we would do anything to get to the championship and then imagine losing. And my husband's like, God forbid that happens, you know. But then it happened. And it's just like, I was kind of bracing myself for the worst. But I didn't know how other people were going to take it. And they have been so amazing. People are so proud here, even though we didn't win it, which is a huge difference. Like I said, we pulled in, coming in second is crap. It's like, when we win the thing, there's people at the airport, there's people lying in the streets. There was no one. I cried on the way home because I'm just like, no one's here. Look, I'm gonna cry. Like no one's here for them. They did so well. Like the plane, I'm looking around some of the staff. You know, it's like they had those pusses on, not even, not like our staff, but like support staff and donors. And I'm looking at them and I'm like, just be like, dude, you guys played, what a season. But everybody like, don't show these kids that, that annoyed me. But I will say our fans have been amazing. Like, did you think we were gonna get past Duke? I mean, we were down 19. I didn't, I didn't.

Speaker 2:
[13:38] My son said, mom, you think those Duke twins are gonna win, don't you? Because I think they're so cute.

Speaker 3:
[13:44] They're so cute.

Speaker 2:
[13:45] I think they're so cute. They were like on all the commercials, they were like, mommy, you think the Duke twins are winning it? And I was like, I don't know. I'm not saying anything. I'm keeping my mouth shut. I'm just gonna sit here and watch this game with you. Three crazies.

Speaker 1:
[13:57] It was a rough one, but I, so I went to Yukon and I love Yukon sports. Danced at Yukon. So I played, you know, I would perform at the halftime. You were performing at those games. So I have just a very big connection to it. I have like a weird thing and I think a lot of Yukon fans have this very weird thing where you're like, we're gonna win. I don't know how, but we're gonna. Like you're like, I just, they always do it. They always do it.

Speaker 3:
[14:21] They pulled it out of their ass before, like years prior to us.

Speaker 1:
[14:24] I was nervous and like when it started to really go downhill, I had to leave the room because I was like panicking, but it's, but you have this like weird gut feeling that you're gonna win. I had it even through the last games, but, and then you're like, wow, it didn't happen. It's like a reality check.

Speaker 2:
[14:40] You're right though. These are kids. Like you forget sometimes, like these are 19, 10, 20, 21 year olds. Like they're kids.

Speaker 1:
[14:46] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[14:47] And they just worked their ass off. Nobody.

Speaker 2:
[14:50] And they're in school.

Speaker 3:
[14:51] They're in school. Nobody would believe, they were giving us the late games too. We would play nine, sometimes 10 o'clock at night. We were not getting, we were not pulling into, cause then we, you know, then they do media after the game. We weren't getting on the plane until three, four in the morning. We're pulling into our house on Monday morning at four or five o'clock in the morning. And it was like, you know, you're a student all day Monday. You're like trying to, you can't get out of your own way. You're trying to do laundry. Tuesday, you got to get yourself together and pack. Cause then you're out the door again on Wednesday. So that's how it was from the Big East Tournament through the whole thing. And these kids were also going to class. They were writing papers. They were doing projects and they make sure, you know, my husband and the staff are very strict about school. Academics is number one. So you slip a little bit and they'll be on you.

Speaker 2:
[15:38] Wow.

Speaker 3:
[15:39] I don't know how they did it.

Speaker 2:
[15:40] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[15:40] Do you kind of feel like a mama bear for the kids too?

Speaker 3:
[15:44] For the team, I mean, I don't want to be annoying. There's a fine line there when you're seen too much. And, you know, they're college kids, but I also want them to know that, like, I see it. I love them for who they are, whether you start or you never see the court. It's like, I see you and I pray for them, and I just, I know how hard this is. So I try to make myself out there. I try not to go to... I'll stop into a practice, but once he starts yelling, I'm out. I don't like that. I don't like you. I don't like that. So I leave. But I'm around, I think, enough that they feel my love. I write them. I do the game day candy every game. I started it back at St. Benedict's, and I pick one candy a game, and then I write them a Geechee poem, and sometimes they're just like, oh my God. Sometimes I look back because I saved them on. I'm like, whoa. I'm like, I can't. So I try to do that just to let them know, here I am. If we lose, I'll give them sour patch kids the next game. Don't be a sour, you know? Oh my gosh. Then for their birthdays, I do bake them. I'm the worst baker on the planet, but it's just the thought that counts. Like I do cupcakes, but now I do managers, so it's like...

Speaker 2:
[16:54] And you sing while you bake, right?

Speaker 3:
[16:56] I sing to every single one of them while I'm icing. While I'm icing.

Speaker 1:
[17:03] You have to make it with love.

Speaker 2:
[17:05] That's the way to do it. It's all made with love and they all feel your love and they feel your husband's love. Every single one of those players, when you've read or listened to one of their interviews, they all talk about him in the highest esteem, which I think that's so special. So whatever this yelling is that you might see or whatever, this love taps or whatever you hear about, clearly the players love that him.

Speaker 3:
[17:29] That's only the few hours of Daybreak. My husband is the most sensitive human being on the planet. All he wants to do is be loved. I'm telling you, he's the sweetest soul. And it's kind of funny to me that people do take him as this crazy animal because he is just like the sweetest. I mean, he's a little love bug.

Speaker 2:
[17:53] How did you guys meet?

Speaker 3:
[17:55] This is, I was a freshman. He was a fifth year senior. Now, mind you, I did not want to go to Seton Hall. That was the last place I wanted to go. I wanted to be a fashion designer. I wanted to go to FIT. I got into FIT and I actually had a roommate from high school and then my dad, who's a little overprotective, was like, you are not, and I am, trust me, I'll be the first to tell you. I'm not, yes, I'm a little out there. I'm a little spacey. So he's like, you're not ready for New York yet. I think you need one year of core under your belt and then I'll let you figure out what college is. Okay. So my mom actually was treating, she's a radiation therapist and she was, the president had cancer. So my mom's like me, we talked to walls. So she's like, my daughter can't find a spot and we're going to find a spot for her. So he's like, give me her application. And next thing you know, I got into Seton Hall. I'm like, I can't go to New York, but you're sending me to Newark, like South Orange Avenue.

Speaker 2:
[18:58] And at the time you were living in Northern Jersey? Central. Central Jersey.

Speaker 3:
[19:01] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:01] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[19:02] So it was an hour away. My mom's like, I want you near me. I just want to make sure I can get to you.

Speaker 2:
[19:06] I want to near you in Newark, New Jersey.

Speaker 3:
[19:09] Newark, New Jersey. So please. So I was like, all right. So I got there. I'm like, what the hell am I doing? I gave her a hard time. And what am I doing here? And so I hated it up until, I guess it was Christmas time. And I'm like, all right, I'm starting to, I could do this for one year and then get me out. And then it was Midnight Madness. Like that's what they called it. And I always knew of him, because my dad, my parents are from Jersey City, and they know it's like, that's where Danny's from. His dad was a high school coach of St. Anthony's.

Speaker 2:
[19:41] He's a legend too.

Speaker 3:
[19:42] Yeah. And best high school program. So my dad followed this. I didn't follow this shit. Like my dad would schlep me to St. Anthony games. So I think it's bizarre that I actually saw my husband when I was probably in like seventh grade. I didn't know. He would make us go to the CBA. St. Anthony's game was a rivalry game, hated it. But we went every year as a family. So then when rewind, when I was going, my dad's like, Danny Hurley goes to Seton Hall. Who gives a shit?

Speaker 1:
[20:12] Like, that's not how you're going to learn me there.

Speaker 3:
[20:15] I'm like, oh, the kid that plays, like who cares? And then like, I looked him up. I'm like, no, I don't think so. Not my type, you know, like, and he's old and he's out the door anyway. And I'm a freshman and whatever. But then something happened when I, I was looking for him, like when he came out and I was like, oh my God, he's so cute. Like there's something, like some spiritual thing. And I know this sounds so weird. I did, is that weird? I mean, it is weird. And I didn't meet him until the end of March when the season was over. And then-

Speaker 2:
[20:49] So how did you get his attention?

Speaker 3:
[20:50] My, one of my really good friends was a swimmer. And she was dating this kid, John Yablonsky, who was on the team. And he was good friends with him. And she'd be like, Andrea, can you please hang out with me and John? Because I hate being the only freshman girl at all these things. And I'm like, no. And then I was like, all right. So she was behind me, went to a bar, and she was like going like this to me. So I'm like, you're so freaking embarrassing. So I went to talk to him and I'm just like, he tried to be so tough. And I'm like, I liked it. I'm like, look at you.

Speaker 1:
[21:22] But you saw through it a little bit.

Speaker 2:
[21:23] I saw right through.

Speaker 3:
[21:24] You're a Jersey boy.

Speaker 2:
[21:25] I'm a Jersey style, little Jersey boy.

Speaker 3:
[21:28] I'm like, stop it.

Speaker 2:
[21:28] Hard on the outside, sweet on the inside.

Speaker 3:
[21:30] And he was so cute. And then like, you know, he was trying to play all tough. And I'm just like, oh, I'm like, all I wanted was a ride home because we were on South Orange Ave and I just wanted a ride home. So he offered me a ride home. He took all my friends home first. We went around the block. We talked for a minute. And then that was on a Thursday. And then we went out on a Saturday. He picked me up and we've been hanging out ever since.

Speaker 1:
[21:51] He's been hanging out ever since. Love it.

Speaker 3:
[21:53] Yeah. And not only that, we got, I met him in March. We got engaged in August, August 30th. Wow.

Speaker 2:
[22:00] Of that year?

Speaker 3:
[22:01] I was 20. No, no, I was 19.

Speaker 2:
[22:02] So you were still in college.

Speaker 3:
[22:03] You were going into your sophomore year. I was engaged.

Speaker 2:
[22:06] So when did you get married?

Speaker 3:
[22:07] The August the following year. So I only met him a year and a half.

Speaker 2:
[22:10] So did you stay at Seton Hall and graduate from there?

Speaker 3:
[22:13] No. Because the reason why we got engaged is because he was going to go play European ball in Spain. And he wanted me to come with him because he's like a little sensitive little booger. And he wanted me to come with him. And my mother's real Jersey City. My dad, you know, my mother's like, what the hell you think we're running here? You're not married. You're not even engaged. Where do you think you're going? You got school. And I'm like, oh, so I went back and told him. And I'm just like, sorry, off to Spain you go. I have to finish school. He was just like, let's get engaged then. And I'm like, all right. So then I got engaged. My mother's like, you're still not going. You're like, no, no, no, like, no. So, and then when I couldn't go, he's like, I don't want to play. He's like, I don't think I want to play anymore. And I'm just like, okay. So I ended up going back to Seton Hall my sophomore year. He was kind of lost in outer space. Like where, where is my place? I just got done playing. I don't want to play anymore. So he started coaching with his dad. And then he was like a sex ed teacher. And then I'm like, what the hell am I getting myself into? I mean, I obviously, and I didn't even think at that. When you think about it now, I'm like, what the hell was I chasing? And I was 20. I ended up getting married. And we planned the wedding before all this. So we had the date. So we ended up getting married, you know, August 29th and 97. And that was it. Then he ended up, he actually got a job at Rutgers the month before as a restricted earnings coach. He was like, what's your husband doing? He's a restricted earnings coach. And he was restricted. Trust me. He was a restricted earnings coach. And that's what he started. Then we was at Rutgers and we're like, we made it. You know, you're a restricted earnings coach at Rutgers University. And that's where I learned how to be a coach's wife from Rutgers University.

Speaker 2:
[24:01] From Rutgers University.

Speaker 3:
[24:03] Never home.

Speaker 2:
[24:03] So one of my girl, I was telling you offline, one of my best friends, her husband is a D1 hockey coach. And we kind of joke every year, like around this time at the end of the season, where are they going to move to next? Like, we're all in it.

Speaker 3:
[24:15] It's military. It's like military.

Speaker 2:
[24:17] We're all in this. And I say we, meaning like me and her friends. Like, I can't imagine what she feels like with her husband, like the move, like, are they going to go? Are they going to stay? Who's transferring where? I imagine you started in New Jersey. You had your boys. When did this, like, are we going to move craze start for you?

Speaker 3:
[24:34] We, I was pregnant, then I got pregnant with Danny. I don't even know how, because he was never home, that was like fricking Ruckers. And then he ended up, actually right before Danny was due, he got promoted to a recruiting coach, which is huge. He's only four captains on the ship, you know what I mean? And he was to be that young and, but he worked his ass off. Like the man was never home. And I said, you know, I'm new with this, you know, and also I'm a baby. And I'm like, why does he not want to be home? And I was 20. I'm giving up my entire college life to sit in an apartment, a one bedroom apartment myself, all the time. And, you know, back then it was like the VHS tapes, you know, and he went with the VCR and he would... And it would be like, and I'd go there at like nine, 10 o'clock at night. And I'd be like, what the, what are we doing? Like, can you come home? And I'm like, he regrets every minute of getting married. And he didn't seem like it, but it just, he doesn't want to be home. But he just worked and worked and worked it. He had his under his eyes were those dark purple circles because he never saw the light of day. And then he had to go to Croatia. Now I'm 22 when I had Danny. So I got pregnant at 21. I was 22 when I had Danny. And I was already a little self-conscious. I'm so young, like, what's that look like? It was like, this is going to be so weird. I don't like this look. And then he's like, well, I have to go to Croatia from July 5th to August 1st. Back then, they traveled the whole month without coming home. I'm like, this is perfect. This is some way to, you know. So he ended up, I drank two bottles of castor oil because Danny was supposed to be due July 9th. And I'm like, no, no, I need this guy home. So actually, the coach at Rutgers' wife, she said to me, I said to her, I'm like, how am I doing this? She's like, you drink two bottles of castor oil. I'm like, oh, is that what you do? And she's like, yes, that's what all the wives do.

Speaker 2:
[26:32] To induce labor.

Speaker 3:
[26:33] To induce labor. And then you'll have your kid. And everybody was like, that is bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[26:38] You'll also like shit your pants, but you...

Speaker 3:
[26:41] Don't ever do it. Don't ever do it.

Speaker 1:
[26:46] But it worked.

Speaker 3:
[26:48] Did it work? Like I can't show face at like St. Peter's Medical Center.

Speaker 1:
[26:53] Was it worth it?

Speaker 3:
[26:54] It was worth it. My son, yes, I mean.

Speaker 2:
[26:56] So your son's birthday is July 9th?

Speaker 3:
[26:58] July 1st.

Speaker 1:
[26:58] July 1st.

Speaker 3:
[27:00] Oh, yeah. It would have been like the end of June, but they had to order a castor oil. I don't know why, but like I had to go pick it up. So I got him out July 1st and, you know, and I still to this day, he blames me. He had jaundice and stuff. He wasn't ready. Like I would never do that again nor tell anybody to do that. But then he walked on his toes. I'm like, it's all me. Oh, my God. Yeah. But he's fine. Everybody's fine. But yeah. But then I was by myself with this kid and my brother is four years younger. He's in high school. My mom's like, I can't live with you. I got your brother. So I had a movement with my mom and we just moved into a condo right before Danny was born. So there was shit everywhere. And then I moved back into my condo. He was coming back July 5th to August 2nd. So I moved back in on the 1st. And he got home. And our friggin neighbor's propane tank caught on fire and my whole house burned down. So it was like a townhouse. So all my shit that I didn't even, I don't even know what I had all off.

Speaker 2:
[28:01] So where'd the three of you go? Back to your parents?

Speaker 3:
[28:03] I went back to my mom's and then we went to this disgusting, we had to go to a rental. So now we went back up north because we were kind of like, we were in Morganville, which is like, you know, maybe half hour from Rutgers. And now I'm like, you know what? Let's just get a rental closer to Rutgers. And it was gross. I just dreamed of doing the nursery beautiful. And I had my kid in these filthy rugs and it was awful. It was awful.

Speaker 1:
[28:28] It's really showing like the unglamorous. I feel like you just see this lifestyle and you think that.

Speaker 3:
[28:34] I'm gonna put it out there. There is no glamour to this. You see the money, everybody sees dollar signs. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2:
[28:43] Well, maybe they see the 2026. Like if they go state of Connecticut, maybe they see those dollar signs, but they don't see this whole backstory to what it took to get to this point.

Speaker 3:
[28:54] From that fire, we were up Schitt's Creek. And then he ended up getting fired from Rutgers because once the head coach loses his job, everybody does. So then now he's going to prep school. So now we're back. I'm like, you're going backwards. Like we were in college.

Speaker 2:
[29:08] So now he went to high school.

Speaker 3:
[29:10] Now we're in high school. He was there for nine years and we had this major debt from the fire, because now we have to rebuy everything. Our insurance, the loss of use is not, we didn't know and we blew through that in five seconds. We were just talking about it the other day. When the kids are little, you can get away with going to the dollar store and wrapping puzzles and just making it look so full. And I remember one Christmas, it's when you can first look up your bank account online. It's like, I'm really dating myself here, but I looked it up and it said negative 16. So I said to him, I'm like, not only do we have no money, but we have like negative money. This is Christmas morning and I'm just like, okay, so what, like so what? You get paid in two weeks, like we'll be okay. And it's just like, our credit cards were tapped out. So it's like, there's things that did make us strong. I mean, at the time it didn't even feel like anything. Like we're just, all right, we're fine. We'll throw this.

Speaker 2:
[30:03] It was the four of you.

Speaker 3:
[30:04] It was, well, then it was the three of us.

Speaker 2:
[30:06] Oh, that was the three of you then.

Speaker 3:
[30:07] That was the three of us. And then Andrew came two and a half years after Danny.

Speaker 2:
[30:11] So were you in New Jersey at this prep school with the two boys?

Speaker 3:
[30:15] Yes. Well, he was in Newark. He coached in Newark. That was the St. Benedict's Prep. And we were in Freehold where I kind of grew. I grew up up until high school, which was like my favorite town. And so we moved back there and it was like the best. It was like a patio home. It was probably my favorite house to date. You know, we were talking about like, everybody wants the big house until you get it. And now I would give anything to live on Kentucky Way again, where all the houses look the same. My kids, like you open the door, your kids run off with every neighborhood kid and you don't see them till night. I mean, you don't realize what matters until you look back and realize that you had that.

Speaker 2:
[30:58] So those were the good days living in Freehold, New Jersey. Nick is from the next town over. He's from Colts Neck. Oh my gosh. Colts Neck reminds me of this town actually.

Speaker 3:
[31:05] It absolutely does.

Speaker 2:
[31:07] It's a horse farm, like long driveways.

Speaker 3:
[31:10] Yeah. Delicious orchards.

Speaker 2:
[31:12] Yeah. They live actually like walking distance from there. Right up 34, really close.

Speaker 3:
[31:17] In fact, I was just in Delicious Orchards. I can't go to Jersey without stopping there.

Speaker 2:
[31:20] Yeah. Have you gone to Rook Coffee?

Speaker 3:
[31:23] Yes. In fact, I was-

Speaker 2:
[31:24] I like it there.

Speaker 3:
[31:25] That's what I met. I got a pedicure and then I meant to stop there on the way home to get, I don't know if they have K cups. I'm dying to get K cups, but-

Speaker 2:
[31:32] I don't think they do because they have that like cold brew coffee. I don't think they have like regular brew.

Speaker 3:
[31:38] K cups are better for you anyway. I know if my son hears this, he'll be like, you know, like plastic and then, okay, whatever.

Speaker 2:
[31:44] Anyways, we digress. Okay.

Speaker 3:
[31:45] I digress.

Speaker 2:
[31:46] So, all right. Then where does the career go from there with you guys?

Speaker 3:
[31:49] Nine years at St. Benedict's was my life. That's where my heart truly was. We had not a penny to our name. Like we lived from paycheck to paycheck and that was, I was okay. Like we lived like that and we made it work. It was fine. I could not get a job that was going to pay me enough to pay for daycare for my kids. So I had no choice. What was I going to do? No job is going to pay me for what I could do. And still to this day, like you make it work. When eBay was big, anything I would sell, I'm like, you need that? You need that? Kids, you need that toy? Like I would sell everything.

Speaker 2:
[32:26] You're very resourceful.

Speaker 3:
[32:27] Oh my goodness. I loved it. So I did that and I mean, we made it work. And, you know, he did admission, so he got a little extra. Father Edwin, who was the headmaster of the school, means, like, I'm going to cry. Like, my husband says it's his best friend. Like he has a priest as his best friend. But what he did for us, you know, I looked up and he's on the altar for my kids communion in Freehold. He came from Newark. He, you know, was on the altar when my dad passed away. Like, he's there for all of us. He was just somebody that we could talk to about anything, you know, family issues. He was just right there, like, and I never saw myself leaving that ever. So one day I was in the backyard, raking leaves and hustling out there. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I was. Let me tell you. I had the corner lot in Freehold. And let me tell you something. It wasn't easy, but my place was pristine. There was not one leaf. I was very good with all that, the outside inside. And I was out there raking leaves and he comes out and he's like, just so you know, I put my name out there for Marist College. I'm like, Marist College? To do what? He's like, to coach. He's like, don't worry. He was named like four other people to put their name in. I was like, oh God. I'm like, please stop. He's like, I might want to try college. I'm like, enough. Now, mind you, we had players. You know, we had Tristan Thompson. He was the love of my life with this kid, Mike Kabanga. They're from Canada. They would stay with us on the weekends because the dorms close. It's a boarding school. Dorms close on the weekends. We had kids. They would split up between some of the coaches. So every weekend, I had players with us. They would go to my kids' basketball games, football games, baseball games. My kids grew up with them. And it's like when your kids do student of the week posters, you know, it's my kids and then all kids that don't look like them. It's like my brothers, you know, and it's just like my kids were so lucky to grow up like that with these kids and they truly cared for them and cared for us. There were times that my husband drove a suburban, it was the school suburban, and when they had bad practices and stuff, he'd pull up. And my kids loved my baked ziti or lasagna and I would do like every weekend. And it was like brownies with ice cream, you know, they looked for it. So they would pull up and my husband would get out and he'd be like, oh, bad practice. And I'm like, where are the boys? And you see their heads, like you just see their heads in the car because they didn't want to get out. And I'm just like, oh, come on. So you're like, come on, come on, come on. I would go in the car. I'm like, come on, you're with me now. You're with your home now. But we had them every weekend. And it's funny to see the whole like Chloe thing, you know, it was just like, it's so-

Speaker 2:
[35:11] You had him when he was a baby.

Speaker 3:
[35:12] I had him as a baby. He was like my baby, yeah. And for years. And I have so many kids that take up so much space in my heart. And it's like, you wish you could just get them all back.

Speaker 1:
[35:24] But that's gotta be so hard too, because you're of course like wanting the next thing. Like you want your husband to have success.

Speaker 3:
[35:32] But I didn't.

Speaker 1:
[35:33] You didn't at all.

Speaker 3:
[35:33] No, I did not. And it was like...

Speaker 1:
[35:35] Well, you were just very content where you were.

Speaker 3:
[35:37] Family means so much to me that like, I mean, look at the opportunities that we just had. Like I can't... I'm okay where I am. If we're okay, we're doing great.

Speaker 2:
[35:48] Hearing this story makes me think I understand why you guys said no to the NBA years ago.

Speaker 3:
[35:54] It's not, trust me. How amazing? Like, what are we stupid? Like to this day, I'm like, who says it should have been a hell yeah? Like I'll send for my shit, but I'll have somebody else send for it. Oh yeah, no, I will never see. Thanks Huskies, but I like, no.

Speaker 1:
[36:17] So is there friction then? Like, is he kind of always the one that's looking for the next thing and you're the one kind of keeping the perspective?

Speaker 3:
[36:25] Yes, but I know him so well that I'm like, do you really, like, are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this? And it wasn't even more of him wanting to do the next step. It was me leaving what we had. How do you say goodbye to father, I'm gonna cry. Like how, this is how many years ago? Eight, nine, 10, that's 15 years. How do you say goodbye to father Edwin? Like he gave you your job. Like how is the school gonna function? Where are these kids gonna go on the weekends? Like it's all this stuff in your head. I can't lose the life that I love right now. And it's okay that we don't, we can't make ends meet. We're fine. And it's just like, okay. And then I'm like, I can't keep him from what he wants to do, but he did get the marriage job. And I did freak the freak out because my dad passed away. All I have is my mom and my brother. We are, it's the three of us. It's all we've ever had. I have a niece and then a nephew too, but like for a while it was just my niece. And he was getting divorced and we're too close. I don't think there's such a thing, but they needed me. I needed them. And to even remove myself from our little triangle of where we were, that I can't, my heart can't do that. So I freaked out and we didn't go to marriage. I'm like, it was too painful for me to like tell my mom, you can't come over for Taco Tuesday. You know, you can't. Wow.

Speaker 1:
[37:45] So he passed on that.

Speaker 3:
[37:46] He passed on that. But then somebody came in from Wagner to, you know, to watch him and he's like, it's Staten Island, we don't have to move. He's like, I think I want this. So back to what you said about moving. It's like, I literally, every single day of my life, not one day goes by, that is the biggest blessing, not the money, not any of this shit that comes with the winning and everything else. It's the good Lord, let me be driving distance from my family, my kid who lives in Jersey. It's like, I need to get in a car and get to you if I need to. I need to see you when my heart is sad and needs a hug. I need to get to you. So the fact that the good Lord sent us to Wagner College and then to Rhode Island, which was like, yeah, because I was going to say that that's the next big move.

Speaker 1:
[38:43] At this point, I've tried everything when it comes to sleep. If it exists, I've probably tested it. I've used a sleep mask for years and years, but switching to a weighted one has honestly been a game changer for me. I've been using the Nodpod and it is just easy. No straps, nothing annoying. It just lays on your face and gives that calm, grounded feeling. It works if you're on your side, on your back, all of it. I fall asleep faster with it. I stay asleep longer. And if I'm up in the middle of the night, because you know I am, if it's the kids, if it's the cats, if it's just my own brain, this will help me get back to sleep. And then the Nodpod body is newer for me and I didn't think I needed it, but I really love it. It is that same calming, weighted feeling, but for your whole upper body. I'll throw it over me when I'm winding down or laying in bed and it just helps me settle so much faster. It's also cooling, which I didn't expect, but now I'm obsessed with it and it just feels really comfortable. It's not restrictive, it's not too heavy, it's not too hot, it's just really calming. And I also love that they donate 1% of every sale to support mental health. We all love that here and that means so much to us. You can use code PRETTYINPINKAGIN for 20% off. That's PRETTYINPINKAGIN for 20% off. Anything on the Nodpod site. And you can check our show notes for the links.

Speaker 2:
[39:58] Up 95.

Speaker 3:
[39:59] All the way up 95.

Speaker 1:
[40:00] So what made that one desirable?

Speaker 3:
[40:03] I mean, Rhode Island. Okay, let's go visit it. We went to go visit it. I was not into it that that much, but the athletic director, I don't know what it is. It's like, I have this thing with my soul. Like the second I see someone, I just know good souls when I see them. He was walking across the parking lot. Something inside me felt-

Speaker 2:
[40:26] Like connected to him?

Speaker 3:
[40:28] He didn't say one word. They didn't even walk through the door yet. And I said to my kids, you better not act up. You better sit up straight. I'm doing their hair. And I'm just like, this is a job interview. And this was at like five o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 2:
[40:41] It's a family interview. Yes.

Speaker 3:
[40:43] And it was very early because we didn't want anybody to know we were actually going. God forbid, Wagner kids here. That's a whole other thing. So the second he came in, he was just smiling, walking through. I'm like, oh my God. Like I said, this is home.

Speaker 1:
[41:02] Like you got a good vibe.

Speaker 3:
[41:03] So this is a good idea.

Speaker 2:
[41:05] What school is it?

Speaker 3:
[41:05] URI, University of Rhode Island. So he walked in, we did a campus tour. I was like, we're home. This is it. I can get to my mom. I know this is going to be, that was the hardest thing. I'm so proud of her. She got in her, she's like, I will find you. And she does. Like she gets in that car. We taught her how to pump gas. Cause once you leave Jersey, you gotta pump your gas. She's like, what the frick is this? She found us. And she says, and then, okay. So then we were at Rhode Island. Don't forget, I never had a head coach's wife to show me the ropes. I mean, Rutgers for five minutes, who told me to drink two bottles of castor oil. But other than that, I don't know what a head coach is supposed to do. I don't know. Like there's no social media back then. You know, what do you do? So I get, I got involved as I could. I didn't want to get too much involved. I don't love sports. I don't love the games. I love the program. And then, you know, that was pretty much it. Like I was all in, we were doing so good. I mean, they threw a parade. We got to the NCAA tournament. We beat the first team and then we came home to a parade. Here, they're just like, you're dead. You know, like we were on a float. It was like-

Speaker 1:
[42:16] Forgoing, for just making it to the tournament.

Speaker 3:
[42:19] To the tournament. Like they, the sweetest people. And Rhode Island is the most beautiful place. Like I think Jersey is different. I can't compare. Jersey's different. Rhode Island will always be a special place for me.

Speaker 2:
[42:36] We lived in Rhode Island for a short period of time. Nick went to Brown.

Speaker 3:
[42:39] Oh, get out.

Speaker 2:
[42:40] For training. And Nick and I said that Rhode Island was like the perfect combination of Connecticut and New Jersey. Me growing up in Connecticut and Nick growing up in Jersey, we were like, this is what Rhode Island is. There's like 10 different accents depending on which direction you go. And if you go to Cranston or if you go up north, it's more like a Boston accent. A lot of Italians, small, everybody kind of knows each other. It is like a very sweet state.

Speaker 3:
[43:05] Yeah. I like to mess with Providence fans. I like them because I may never tell them I like them, but they're brutal. And I like brutal. I'm Jersey. When I first got to Rhode Island, they're stopping fucking traffic to let people go. I'm like, no, no, no. They're too nice. I'm like, I was like, these people are too, they're all so sweet that there's no sense of urgency in this frigging state. And then I came across Providence fans and I'm like, here they are. And they're rough and they're rough and I like it. They are who, where my heart is. Like they're rough, they're brutal. It's how I grew up. It's where I'm from. It's like, you need that in sports. So it just, I go, in fact, I'll be in Providence tomorrow. I get my, still get my hair colored every, every four weeks.

Speaker 2:
[43:54] Really?

Speaker 3:
[43:55] Yeah. I go to Providence every, cause that, don't forget, like when mine moved there, my kids were little. So I have friends, different friend groups.

Speaker 2:
[44:05] When your kids were little, you make friends when your kids are little.

Speaker 1:
[44:07] Yes, that's like your home base.

Speaker 2:
[44:08] Really good friends. So how old were the boys?

Speaker 3:
[44:11] When we moved to Rhode Island, they were in eighth and fifth grade. So I had my URI friends, you know, like the university friends, the sports friends, the school friends. And that's, you're around these people all the time. Then we moved to Connecticut when they were, Danny was gone. He was already in college and my Andrew was a junior in high school. Who the hell am I mean? So it's like, I don't have any connections here at all. So I make myself and I love my hair place, but I'll go there just so I could be like, hey, who's gonna meet me for lunch? You know?

Speaker 1:
[44:42] So you go back to see everybody?

Speaker 3:
[44:44] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[44:44] Yeah. So you feel like now that you're in Connecticut, you never created that sense of community here.

Speaker 3:
[44:51] It's different because I feel like I'm old. I'm gonna be 50 this year. I'm old. It's like when you get to a certain point, that part is gone and I don't have, like, hey, you want to meet for lunch today? I do. All the coaches' wives were all around. Who has 100 kids? Who has none? Who has four? It's like everybody's different, but we see each other so much during the season, which I absolutely love because they're my family.

Speaker 1:
[45:17] Right. But it's not outside of the program.

Speaker 3:
[45:21] Yeah. It's not like that. But it's like I said, I'll go back tomorrow and I'll meet with them. I go to Jersey to see my high school friends. So I am just so blessed to be able to get in a car and just fill my heart wherever it needs to be filled at that time.

Speaker 2:
[45:35] After URI, you get the call for UConn. How did that whole transition come about?

Speaker 3:
[45:41] Well, it's funny because again, I'm going to say it a million times over, I follow our team. I do better now because I follow other teams and I kind of know of what's going on a little bit better than I did before. At that point, I was coming down the escalator, it was an A10 conference games and I was coming down the escalator and one of the staff said to me, Kevin Olley just got fired. And I said, who the hell is Kevin Olley? And they're like, the coach at UConn. So I was like, oh no, this is the morning before a game. I know better, like I know better. Like what the frig was I thinking? I go back up to the room, as I'm in the room, my husband is frantically pulling tissues out of a tissue box. This is how he gets sometimes. He's like, where the are the blue tissues?

Speaker 1:
[46:28] They were blue yesterday.

Speaker 3:
[46:29] Why are they white? And then all of a sudden, blue tissues started flying out. He's like, oh, now the whole room's full of white tissues. And I'm like, Kevin Olley just got fired. He's like, what? I'm like, they just told me that Kevin Olley just got fired.

Speaker 2:
[46:49] He said, what the does that have to do with me?

Speaker 3:
[46:51] And I was like, I don't know. Somebody just said, oh, UConn's open. He's like, do you know many fucking games I have to win to get UConn? And I'm like, nope, I have no clue. How does this work? You know, like, and that was the A10.

Speaker 1:
[47:06] Yep.

Speaker 3:
[47:07] And I was just like, never asked again.

Speaker 1:
[47:09] I'm crying.

Speaker 3:
[47:10] And then it was then, it was actually Pittsburgh called and UConn. So then we had meetings with both at the same, the same day. So it was kind of like, wow, you must be good at this. Is this it?

Speaker 2:
[47:25] Like, you're like, so you don't do much around here.

Speaker 3:
[47:29] Does nothing.

Speaker 2:
[47:30] But at least you're winning some games. Now you've been in the game long enough. Do you like follow the game? Do you know the game?

Speaker 3:
[47:38] I know. I mean, I've seen thousands of games. I mean, I'm not a student. Like, I know of the game. I don't know. There's rules that I don't know. Like, okay, like we did this thing and they said screen. Yes, I know what a screen is. Like I said, I don't know what that is. What I was thinking about was sometimes they blow the whistle on a screen. Why? What happened? I didn't know. You can only stay inside for like, into like that colored area for a certain amount of seconds. Who's looking at that? I wouldn't even know to look at that.

Speaker 1:
[48:10] It's a lot of technical rules. I know very high level.

Speaker 3:
[48:13] Technicality, I know nothing. I know what I need to know. I know what I want to know. I know as much as my husband wants me to know, because if I go home and start talking about it, we wouldn't make it.

Speaker 1:
[48:24] It's probably the last thing that he needs.

Speaker 3:
[48:26] We don't talk about anything. We don't talk about it. Like I'll say, even last night we were watching our two boys, Steph and Donovan were playing. I'm like, I said something. Like stop talk, please don't ever say, don't say, don't even make any comments about the game. Like, okay, this is why I know nothing. Cause nobody explains it to me, which is good.

Speaker 2:
[48:45] So you come to Connecticut and you need to put some roots down here and we know that your time is limited and you decide you choose Connecticut Children's. How did you get involved with the Children's Hospital?

Speaker 3:
[48:59] It was actually another thing. Like I'm telling you, it's very spiritually what goes on. Like in my soul, I'm just going to say it because that wasn't where I was setting out to go. I love the sweetest human, Mayor Sherry Cantor from West Hartford, this little peanut adorable, powerful woman that I've always thought was the coolest person in the state. Like I just think she's the coolest little thing. And she hosted one of the first events that I actually went to and met even our assistants that was at her house. And then I see her all over the place. And you know, there is times, I'm gonna admit that you look back and I say, I wish I was able to be proud of something that I've done. I put my entire life into my family, which I do not regret. But there is, what am I going to, what am I known for? What am I going to be proud of when the end of day?

Speaker 2:
[49:56] Independent of that.

Speaker 3:
[49:57] Yeah, and now I've done Make A Wish in Rhode Island. I put the wig on, I'm taking kids to the airport and, you know, like snow white, it's gross, like stop it. I look ridiculous. So, you know, you do all that. Nothing was sticking. Nothing, it was more of a job. Nothing was filling the cup. So I said to her at one of our events that we had at our home, I said, I'm like, Mary Cantor, I'm like, please find me something that sticks. I don't care what it is. Just give me something that I could not surface. I want to get into. So she goes, oh my goodness, I have an idea. She didn't tell me what it was at the time. She called me and she said, would you want to be on the foundation board for CCMC? And I was like, oh God, no, I am not qualified. Like a board? And I'm just like, all right, I could fake it. I'm like, I could stand up straight. And I could just not say too much and take it in. And next thing you know, I'm on the board with doctors, a lot of white coats, a lot of fancy dressed people. And I was like, yo. It was a pinch me moment. And yes, I cried. I go to meetings and I'm a crier. I'm not a crier if you tell me off. I'm a emotional crier. So like we're sitting there and I just-

Speaker 2:
[51:10] Well, those meetings are emotional. They have mission moments. They have patient testimonials.

Speaker 3:
[51:14] Oh yeah. We weren't even at that point. We weren't even, we were talking about money. They were in debt. Like they needed money for the tower. And I'm like, whoa, thank you for joining me. So we're sitting there and it was like, oh my God, so now what comes with that is an internship. It's one day, you spend a few hours, you get to pick one part of the hospital that you want to go to, and then they assign you to the other one. I want to do NICU, pick you, whatever you want to put me in, and then give me something else. I get there in the morning. And because I'm on the board, one of the foundation members came up to me and says, unfortunately, we assigned one of the other interns here to the oncology department, and they have a family member that just got diagnosed. So, unfortunately, it hits too close to home for them, and we're going to put you in oncology. My mom is a radiation therapist and oncologist. She treats cancer patients for a living. I know what this is all about. I'm like, I can't say no. And then I had a long-term emergency room. So now I am in the emergency room, seeing all these kids by themselves. And now I'm getting, I'm like, you can't make a scene. Like, it's not about you. I must have said, it's not about you. It's not about you at least a thousand times that day. So I could not wait for that part to be over so I could just get to it. And it was dragging on. And this is like, you're in there for like two or three hours each thing. And it's just like, who could do that? Who can walk in there and hold themselves together? And my brain does this thing all the time where I could talk myself in or out of anything. And in that situation, I was talking myself into, because it goes both ways deep, and like, oh my god, why, why, why, why? You know, it's just like, and I walked in, didn't hear a damn word they were saying to me as I walked in. And I just was looking behind me to make sure like I could just excuse myself. I walked in there. I can't tell you what took over me, but it was friggin mayhem. Thank you, God, for Camp Hole in the Wall. It was a circus. I didn't see poles. I didn't see bald heads. I saw craziness. I'm talking like patients' siblings that were paint. I left with paint. I had a lollipop thangling from my hair. Like it was the most, I did not want to leave. Like I was playing with these kids. We were laughing. So Dr. Isaac Hoff was treating Dr. Time. I said to him, like, it was time was up. And I'm like, I don't want to leave here. Is that the, I'm saying to myself, and I don't want to say to him, isn't that crazy that I don't want to leave this apartment? Like it seemed so weird.

Speaker 2:
[53:53] Well, you thought you were going to be walking into quiet.

Speaker 3:
[53:56] Oh yeah. Like, you know, like sick kids, not mingling. Oh yeah. And it wasn't like that, that day. So it was like, oh my goodness. So Dr. Isaac Hoff goes, would you, would you want to volunteer here? And then I was like, like that might be a little much, but I was like, cause I'll never say no to anyone's. Now let me tell you something. They tricked me because not all days were like that, but I can't imagine my life without that place. What that, it has done more for me than I, any game I could ever play with these kids. And I was never a part of a job, like to the nurses, the doctors, to be a part of these amazing people that were handpicked by God to treat, like no schmo could go in there and do that. Like you have to be chosen to do that profession.

Speaker 2:
[54:47] Well, and they don't just let anybody volunteer there either.

Speaker 3:
[54:50] Yeah, well.

Speaker 2:
[54:51] So they chose you too.

Speaker 3:
[54:52] Well, I think like, you know, the whole like UConn thing, but then I'm just like, holy crap, like I could connect my two worlds and I broke some rules, you know, I broke a lot of rules, which I probably shouldn't have done, but you're not even allowed to give the kids, you know, like a t-shirt, you know, it's like, fire me. But we've made so many UConn fans out of these kids that some of these kids didn't give a shit about basketball. And now they're at the games with their little heads and their tubes and their, and they love it. And it's just like that little piece, I can't even imagine not being a part of them, you know? And that was another thing when the whole Laker thing came about.

Speaker 1:
[55:38] You already had this connection.

Speaker 3:
[55:40] I'm on the floor with the agent outside, hysterical crying about not seeing my kids. Like I'm there once a week, a few hours once a week. And that one day is like, when I tell you fills my soul and makes words don't even describe, like I am, I'm good. Like I'm, this is where I'm supposed to be. It's amazing.

Speaker 2:
[56:03] It's a special place. So what floor do you find yourself on there the most?

Speaker 3:
[56:07] On the oncology floor, the blood disorder. That's where I am all the time. I do sneak up to, when they're admitted, I'm not supposed to be up there because you have to have special training, but I feel like I've trained. So I go up there and I do, if they're up there, I do maybe sneak in just, they're up there long-term and just to see a different face pop in. I do that.

Speaker 2:
[56:28] And you've gotten your players involved, your husband's involved.

Speaker 3:
[56:30] The players go in, the players and our players, I don't know how we find them, but we have the biggest hearted kids and they're very sensitive. I will tell you when we first started doing it, they had a hard time and like the freshmen they have, you could tell they kind of stayed to the side. And there's the same reaction. And I forget how I felt. And when I bring them in, I'm like, I want to show you all my friends. And they must be like, like it's, and I forget it's how much, it's a lot for them, you know, and it's just like, listen, they're all going to be, that's how I go in there. They're all going to be fine. They're a little bump in the road, they're going to be fine. They're good. They're good. You just have to say that to yourself and just hope that's the case. And that's what they do. Alex Caraband, that's his favorite day of the year. Loves it.

Speaker 2:
[57:18] Oh my gosh. So you're like on the ground playing with these kids. These are sick kids.

Speaker 3:
[57:22] Yeah. They're getting treatment. Yeah. We just play. They come in, they get treatment, whether it's they just get a check or they have chemo or whatever it is. They're there for a few hours. So I go in there and we do arts and crafts. I collect shells from the Jersey Shore. We paint shells. I bring in crafts or we just play. I'm a big uno loser, so we play uno. We'll do stuff like that. I clean. I love to clean clinic. I love, I'm always cleaning there. It was like get up off the floor. They give everybody stickers. It makes me crazy. I'm always around scraping stickers off, but I love it.

Speaker 2:
[57:59] That's so special. I think I got involved with the Children's Hospital. I don't know, when my youngest was two, because I had worked in the hospital for years, and then I didn't go back to work after he was born. I wanted to get involved in something, and so one of my girlfriends at the time was on the foundation board, and she said, why don't you join the gala planning committee? It'll reintroduce you back into doing something that you liked to do. So I went and I did a tour of the hospital, and I remember seeing all these mothers working on their computers, and working while their children were receiving treatment. And I had no idea that Children's Hospital beyond the emergency room even existed. So much was there. And I said, these mothers don't have time to tell people the magic going on behind these doors. Like I have to be involved because I have to be. I felt like it was just something so special there.

Speaker 3:
[58:52] Yeah. And then when you get in, and like what you do is like to raise money for, I'll go in there. And now it's to the point where I know a little too, I see too much and I want to fix it. You know, like I'm into aesthetics and I know, trust me, I know we need mice. I know we need poles. I know we need that, but we also need to let people walk into a place and say, okay, they have my kid. I feel so good here because it has to match what they're, the magic that they're doing and the doctors and the nurses that are just like, I can't say enough about. So when you walk into these and it's dated and even when they go upstairs and they sleep, the parents are on these cruddy cots and no, we need to fix this. And I know we had the tower. You guys raise a trillion dollars for towers and everything else, but it's just like, I think God put me here to help. They don't even have refrigerators in the rooms upstairs. No, come on, guys.

Speaker 2:
[59:56] Well, you know all the ins and outs.

Speaker 3:
[59:57] I know too much and not only that, but I'm a talker as you know. And that's what I do. I play with their kid. I talk to the parents and now I'm like, they're like my friends and I go in there and they complain and I take it in. And then I'm the only one that could go back to the foundation. So now I'm just like, oh my God, I have a purpose. And I'm forward. I'll fight with any man, but for me to tell somebody that I think that they need refrigerators on the eighth floor. I feel funny, but they do. But they do.

Speaker 2:
[60:33] So let's raise some money for them.

Speaker 3:
[60:35] Let's raise some money. That's what I said. We're in the midst right now of like we have, like UConn is killing us right now because we want to get a fundraiser up and going. In fact, I want to do a video in clinic because I started doing like LTK, which is so silly this year.

Speaker 2:
[60:50] We have to talk about this because we are loving everything you do.

Speaker 3:
[60:54] You know what?

Speaker 2:
[60:55] Kristina and I will tell you the sillier our videos, the more views they get, the better they are. People love it. I love your game day fit and I love that you set up LTK and the money goes to the kids.

Speaker 3:
[61:07] Yes. I love that. The thing is like when I first started doing it, it was like I talked to a few coaches wives, like let's just do it, who cares? And here's the thing. I also have this weird thing about me that I, just because our financials are out there, I don't like people thinking that like, you know, that people think when you have money, you're up there, you know, and that's not the case. It's like I am a regular schmegular. Yeah, I'm going to Walmart. Do I like nice things? Oh, yeah, I love pocketbooks. I love shoes. I will never just go to a store on a random Tuesday and buy a Louis Vuitton bag. It's just, it's not in my soul. We're all normal. My husband, God forbid, could lose his job tomorrow and we could be done for. And then what? And then what? So like, no, no, no. Like I've been on both ends of the spectrum here and it's no different for me. So if I like something in Walmart and I'm gonna go put it on my ass. And it's so funny because it's like, there are people, even some people that I know, they're like, you need to step it up. No.

Speaker 1:
[62:14] With the fit?

Speaker 3:
[62:15] Yes, like that, like you need to step it up. You need to go, like, tell your mom, because I'm not doing that. This is my whole point is to tell people that like, stop trying to do shit for other people. Like do you, you know, it's like, like who are you trying to impress? Like, please stop, make it stop.

Speaker 1:
[62:34] Like, I love the fit and I think it's the most like, relatable content. I love it. And I live for the fits. Like I'm like, show me what to wear, they're so good.

Speaker 3:
[62:44] We have shit here.

Speaker 1:
[62:45] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[62:45] And that's another reason why I go to Providence every four weeks is because I have to go to Zara. I mean, I'm not an online shopper. I don't, the thing is, my ass doesn't return anything. So I'm stuck with a graveyard full of shit that doesn't fit me. And I get so pissed. I have ADHD, the task of printing out a label, bringing it to wherever, that's scary for me.

Speaker 2:
[63:07] Even a QR code could be a little difficult from time to time.

Speaker 3:
[63:11] And then I never checked to see if they got it. Did you receive my fricking return? I don't know. Like it's too many steps for me.

Speaker 2:
[63:16] Just take all my money.

Speaker 3:
[63:17] Yeah, I've said, I'm just gonna donate it. It's going to Goodwill. So, but it's, no, I'm not doing that. So like I have to physically see it and I have a weird shape and I'm also old. Like I can't be putting half shirts on and you know, God forbid, I can't wear shit like that. Like I have to see it, I have to put it on. So we only have so many places. Where am I shopping? Yeah, sorry, it's going to be Target. It's going to be, it's going to be wherever, whatever we have in this shit mall over here.

Speaker 1:
[63:41] You do like a high low. I feel like I'm always clicking and I'm like, oh, I love it. And that's like a pleasant surprise for me. Like I like that when I click on something and somebody who quote unquote should be wearing all the designer goods head to toe is actually rocking something from Target. And you would be like, yes.

Speaker 2:
[63:58] I mean, I could, I mean, everybody knows I could.

Speaker 3:
[64:01] I could go. But why? For what? I bought that sweater, like a sweater, $14 sweater. Like I wore it once. I said, what's the time frame to pull it back out again? People are like, you're wearing the sweater again. Okay, shoes. Yeah. Like I'll spend money on shoes and bags because you can wear those all the time. But like clothes, I don't see, I never see a reason for that. Like maybe jean, nice jeans or whatever else. But staples, yes. But other than that, no.

Speaker 2:
[64:30] So do you not like a repeat?

Speaker 3:
[64:32] I'm afraid of a repeat.

Speaker 2:
[64:33] You're afraid of a repeat.

Speaker 3:
[64:34] I'm definitely afraid.

Speaker 1:
[64:35] I feel like you have a lot of pressure against like, people are now, and now they're looking for the fit. Yes, and you have to see.

Speaker 3:
[64:42] And I'm talking grandmas down to like teenagers. I didn't.

Speaker 2:
[64:47] And they'll call you out on that repeat.

Speaker 3:
[64:49] Oh my God. And that's what I said. I'm like, when people come up to me at games and they're showing me what they bought, they'll show me like, I bought this and this. And I'm like, you did?

Speaker 1:
[64:58] Yeah, they did.

Speaker 3:
[64:59] Yes, you did.

Speaker 2:
[65:00] We always click on your stuff. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[65:03] I probably did too.

Speaker 3:
[65:04] I'm like, this is so funny.

Speaker 2:
[65:06] Your Target white tees.

Speaker 3:
[65:08] I'm obsessed with them. Oh, my undershirts.

Speaker 2:
[65:09] Oh, I don't need to tell my dad. Yes, the undershirts that you got us hooked on.

Speaker 3:
[65:12] Oh my God. Are you kidding? Like I, every time I go in there, it's like you can't have a dingy undershirt.

Speaker 1:
[65:17] I feel like you're starting this movement. Cause I love, I feel like a game day fit is amazing.

Speaker 3:
[65:22] And it's so funny cause this older woman came up to me and she's like, you know, I was going to a game and my husband says, where's your Yukon shirt? And I had, I wore a sweatsuit one day, but I did put it underneath. She's like, it's under, the coach's wife can do it. I could do it too. I don't need to wear it all over the place. I'm like, I don't know where that started. And at Rhode Island, I used to wear like blue sweaters. Like I never wore you like gear Rhode Island stuff. Yes. Right. It wasn't enough.

Speaker 1:
[65:47] The gear is, I don't know if that's everywhere, but like the gear is very big here.

Speaker 3:
[65:52] Well, they sell merch everywhere, but it's also lame.

Speaker 1:
[65:56] Right. So you have to find a way to style it.

Speaker 3:
[65:58] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[65:58] Cause you can't just, you don't want to just go in a hoodie, you know, and that's kind of what we have. Like those are the options. Absolutely.

Speaker 3:
[66:04] And it's just like, how much can you do with this? And I'm like, holy God, but it's just, I'm getting such a kick. It makes me feel so fuzzy in such a geeky way that like, and another thing, I don't read messages very rarely. Do I go on messages? Long story, it was a long story, but I, you know, we've gotten not so nice messages and scary messages. So I'm kind of like nervous to even look at them. I started going through when you're bored, like I'm on these tournaments and I'm like, they're like, what cleaning product did you just clean the shower of the hotel with? Please link it. Then another one, excuse me, what was that that you like? I'm like, what the people are interested in your life.

Speaker 1:
[66:44] You have literally turned into an influencer.

Speaker 3:
[66:48] I'm like an influencer, I'm the furthest thing. But now I said to Danny like, okay, I cook, I cook. That's how I show my love. I cook, I clean, I make, I do.

Speaker 2:
[66:56] We need to start seeing those videos.

Speaker 3:
[66:58] Well, okay, now it's so funny because like the other day, there's this beer batter cod sandwich on brioche bun with cheese. It's-

Speaker 2:
[67:06] So you're like a cook.

Speaker 3:
[67:07] No, no, no. I cook. I mean, my night starts at like from like 630. I'm still in the kitchen at 10 cleaning up. It's an all night thing. I can never do anything easy. I have 27 pots. Like I cook and something different all the time. So I make my cod sandwiches, but like, you know, so you have to fry that. I just wash my hair. So I always keep a drawer full of like disposable shower caps. I cook in them all the time. We need to see this. My mom's like, I FaceTime my mom, you know, she was like, and she's like, you need to start. And I'm like, I really wanted to show this. And I don't know how to set this fucking thing up. And I'm like, I don't know how to edit. I don't know how to do any of that. I'm like, so until I teach myself, and then she's just like, are you gonna do that thing with the thing on your head? I'm like, yes.

Speaker 1:
[67:55] Because this is real.

Speaker 3:
[67:56] This is who I am.

Speaker 2:
[67:56] This is Kristina and I will be over tomorrow.

Speaker 1:
[67:58] We will set you up. I think that the people need to see this. I really do. And I think, I don't want to even call it relatable. It's real content, right? It's so appealing.

Speaker 3:
[68:11] There's nothing, I don't hide it. What you see, and everybody will tell you, is what you get from me. I'm talking, I do not call a service person to my home unless I cannot fix it or I can't do it. It pains me. I'm a doer. This morning, I posted this morning.

Speaker 1:
[68:29] She got a frog out of the pool.

Speaker 3:
[68:30] I got the frog out of the pool. I did it. He said, call somebody. Who the am I calling? A pool guy?

Speaker 2:
[68:37] You're like, I'm calling you and you ran away.

Speaker 3:
[68:40] So it's me now. I do yard work. I'm going home to Power Wash. No, stop it. Who are you? When people call people, okay, I get it if you work. If you have a job, you work this and that. You have young kids. I wasn't doing any of this when I had young kids. I'm running my kids out. I am an old lady who lives in a shoe. I am going to Power Wash. I'm gonna be balls deep in my dryer vent, cleaning that shit out like I was last night. I am doing everything that you could possibly, things that you're like, wow, wow, sometimes in a, she needs a life, wow, but this is who I am. I keep myself occupied all day long.

Speaker 2:
[69:22] You are a doer. So what happens if you sit for just five minutes?

Speaker 3:
[69:26] I do not.

Speaker 2:
[69:26] What's going through your head?

Speaker 3:
[69:28] I don't want, this is an issue. Now I have ADHD diagnosed myself.

Speaker 2:
[69:32] It's a very formal diagnosis.

Speaker 3:
[69:34] But when I look, when I listen to all these videos, I actually was crying yesterday because like I heard, it was a powerful video about like, you're so creative and this and that, but you can't do the next thing. Like, like, you know, my brother says you go from A to Z, but you have to do, like, you have to go all the way around and I get it done. And I do things like, I don't have to ask anything I do. Like if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it a thousand percent. Like it bothers me. So I do do that. But also as far as like, I do need medicine and I do need to take the test, but I don't know who the frigg put out a five hour test for people at ADHD. But you have to sit for a five hour test.

Speaker 2:
[70:11] Probably for like a neuropsych evaluation.

Speaker 3:
[70:13] Give me the medicine and we'll figure it out. Like, no, but I want to know exactly what I have because I have something. I don't watch TV. If I sit, I'm like this. Like I have, I do have issues and it comes from our job. I'm always on edge. I'm always nervous. And I know how heavy the season is because the day after we got home, I opened my bathroom window and it was like spring. Like you could see green and it's like it felt so light. Even though we lost and it was sad and it was like we were right there. It was this lightness about it that like we got through another season and we are so proud of that. You know, it's just like, and now we can recruit. We can have a recruiting party. It's a whole other phase. Now we're having things at our house, the recruits coming in and that's a whole other thing, but it doesn't stop.

Speaker 1:
[71:04] I mean, you're going to blink in the summer. We'll be over in the season starts again.

Speaker 3:
[71:08] Yeah. And you know what? Also, what I wanted to mention too, it's this job is not for everyone. I have boys now they're seeing your husband put all this time and effort into other boys to make them good at something they want to play, you know, but they can because then their dad's not going to be their coach. You're not going to be at the games, you know, and people look at you and they say that must be nice, you know, must be nice, like my life, it must be nice to have your husband home for dinner, must be nice to have your husband on the sidelines of your kids' games, like that shit bothers me. But as far as a coach's kid, I think it's just like, it is so hard for them and that's why I'm a little bit overprotective of my boys going through all this because I don't know any coach's kid that is just zooming through this with no issues, you know, it's like, it's a lot.

Speaker 1:
[71:56] It's a lot. And you really, I think, showed a full picture, like you really lifted the veil to show how intense it all can be for the entire family. It's not just him, it's everybody.

Speaker 3:
[72:11] And it is a lot easier when you're winning. I have to say, when you're losing, I can't even explain to you, I'm a happy person. I can make fun out of any, by myself, I have a great time with myself cleaning closets. I'm just a happy-go-lucky person. I've had a beautiful life, beautiful family, like my parents. From growing up, I've been blessed. And if something gets me there, like I quickly can get myself out of it. And it's not everybody could do that, and not everybody has that. And you look and you're just like, oh my God, when you're losing, it's a whole other animal. And it's just like, the whole world knows. It's like you shit up in your job, people go home and they say, yeah, the whole world, and they don't let up. So it's like, and thank God I don't do Twitter, but it's like-

Speaker 2:
[72:58] Have you gotten to a dark place in this? Even being like a happy go lucky, like glass half full person, have you, did you get to a dark place?

Speaker 3:
[73:06] It's taken me down. It is, it's like when we lose, like when, if we lose a game, it takes me down. It gets me like to a place where, like I said, I will fight with anyone that you could say the, I've had the worst thing say to me, does not bother me. But when we lose and people are going after the kids, or they don't even have to be going, in my head, they are. I don't like to, when I leave the house, it's hard for me to even go to the store. Cause in your head, you think everybody is going to say something and I hate that. But you know, it's, it brings you down. It does. But then when he comes home, I can't be down too. So it's like, you have to be, you know, you have to put on your, your-

Speaker 2:
[73:47] There's pressure for with that though. When there's like two people in a relationship and one is known as the happy one and the other one is known as like the more serious, heavy one, you have to show up as that happy person. You're like, don't I get to have a bad day?

Speaker 3:
[74:01] That line I've said how many times in your house. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[74:06] I say that line too. My husband is like more, the more serious, I feel like in every relationship there always has to be one person that's a little bit more serious and one person that's a little bit lighter. And I would say to him some days like, what happens if I'm having a bad day? Who's going to be the light one? Cause it sure as hell isn't going to be you.

Speaker 3:
[74:27] I'll do a two hour interview with some big thing and they'll take the dumbest shit at the end where the wheels come off. Like I'm sitting there crying over my relationship and how we're so, we figured this out 30 years later and we're so good together and then they'll take, he doesn't take the garbage out, he doesn't do this. And it's just like, I want to punch them in the face. I did an interview with Graham and it's like, I said, he comes home. This is a stupid job. It's a game. Like if you really think about it, if basketball went away tomorrow, you'd have no job, but everybody would be fine.

Speaker 1:
[75:02] Yeah, the world would still go on.

Speaker 3:
[75:03] We'd be fine.

Speaker 1:
[75:04] Yep, it's not life or death.

Speaker 3:
[75:06] It's great.

Speaker 1:
[75:07] I know.

Speaker 3:
[75:08] It's not that serious and then of course, he'll go on this big rant, not that serious, people. Okay, yeah, I get it, but it's not that serious. We have our health, we are more than good. Stop with the bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[75:22] It sounds like you stay very grounded with your faith and your health and your family and shit that actually matters.

Speaker 3:
[75:30] Yeah, I do. You're just so thankful. You can't lose sight of that ever, like ever. And I get mad at my husband because he has mental issues. I wouldn't have met him if he didn't have a mental breakdown in college because I was a freshman. He came back for his fifth year, so he took the year off. So if he didn't have that mental breakdown, that's where the fifth year came from. I wouldn't be sitting here. Yeah. So that's when that happened. But he did have an issue. It was a few years back and he knows his body. He's an athlete. He knows his body. Something was wrong. Something was wrong. He was having numbing down his arm and everything. And he kept saying, so he went, got it all checked out. He was fine. He knew something was wrong. I was getting my hair colored in Rhode Island. He calls me. I'm going to the emergency room, having a mental breakdown. And I'm just like, cut the shit. Don't embarrass yourself. We're not going to emergency room. Like, holy shit. So I'm like, come home. No, he went right in. Like he knew it was that bad. And he kept saying, something's wrong with me. Something's wrong. You got checked from head to toe. You're fine. Cut the shit. So ends up that he left the emergency room. They found nothing. Went to work. And now I'm driving him because he shut down mentally. He couldn't figure out what was wrong. He had to go to a psychiatrist because that's when it all started. And I'm like, what is going on? Like this guy, I don't know how I can't, I could get him out of anything and I couldn't. And it ends up that one day he said to Dr. Deener, the doctor, the team doctor was like, I need an MRI in my neck. I need an MRI. And it ended up he had a compressed spinal cord in his neck. He knew, this freak knew there was something wrong with him. The doctors in, I'm not going to say where, you don't see that? Like he was checked at the door. And they missed the whole thing. And yeah, so he had that big surgery and thank you, God, he was able to get himself back. But he's a weirdo. Like he knows when he's off. That was the scariest time because he couldn't even go into CVS. I was driving him everywhere. He couldn't drive a car.

Speaker 2:
[77:34] He was so anxious. He had such fear. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3:
[77:38] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[77:38] And you said you have a strong mind. You can talk yourself in, you can talk yourself out. He can do the same thing for his players, but sometimes it's hard to do that for yourself.

Speaker 3:
[77:47] Because he's also, his whole life is like geared on fear, fear of losing, fear of getting criticized, fear of not being what he promised, you know, the coach he promised his players, like the fear of the parents thinking he's not what he... That is, it's a lot of pressure. And you know, then you're up in the ranks, then you're winning, and then now you're getting paid all this money. He would never, like now that he makes what he makes, like the pressure for him to deliver and not feel like he's gyping the state or his players. I would say it's unhealthy, but I know it's not going to go on forever. He can't sustain this too much longer. So I know there's going to be an end.

Speaker 2:
[78:31] Well, people are putting worth on him. Like a numerical sign of what he's worth. Like that's so wrong. If somebody said to you like, oh, you make this much money a year, so you should be worth this in content and views. Like, could you imagine?

Speaker 3:
[78:46] No, no, and then now with the bedding, you know all this bedding is so big. It's like, so now people, I mean, we've gotten death threats before I've gotten death threats. Plenty of them, you know, they've had to be looked into. It's like a lot of them aren't even from our state, which is crazy. They don't even live here.

Speaker 1:
[79:00] Well, it's just because it's taking it from being a fan to being fanatic.

Speaker 3:
[79:05] But it's not, but you know what? They're not even fans. They're just betting on your game and they lose.

Speaker 2:
[79:11] It's going from being intense about it. And they owe somebody a lot of money and they're pissed. It's not your fault.

Speaker 1:
[79:15] Yeah, it's going from being an intense fan who just cares about winning to losing money. And so you're not a fan at that point because it's not about that.

Speaker 3:
[79:25] I think sports are vicious. It's a vicious thing. And I'm supposed to sit there like Jackie Kennedy. No, dude. I'm a coach's wife. First of all, I have a brother. I don't have any sisters. I have two boys. I don't have any daughters. I'm a coach's wife who can't say a sentence without saying the word fuck. I am a different person. I might not be for everyone, but this is who I am. And if you don't like I'm sorry, then move on. I'm the sweetest person. I love to love people. If I don't like you, that's so rare and you must be a piece of crap because I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. And it's like I just am who I am and I'm not going to hide. Take me or leave me. I'm rough. So is this sport. I'm only take you.

Speaker 2:
[80:09] Our state will take you.

Speaker 1:
[80:10] I know. And I think that I don't like the word power couple, but I feel like when there's a balance to a forward facing couple and you see why it works, it's so inspiring when you see the success, but you really show the power behind it and why it works and why you're both where you are, but why he's where he is, why our team is where they are. It's because of you guys and your team together is the reason that there's success. And you've shown that I think that without that, you couldn't have it. You know?

Speaker 3:
[80:48] But I learned very early and it did take me a minute. And like I said, I'm the old lady in this business. I've been through it all. I know right away who's going to survive. As soon as we get a coach in or a support staff, I know by his wife, this is not for everyone. It's not going to be even. And yes, you are going to feel at times like, what am I, a jerk? I am doing so much. And especially, I will say, when I had kids, I'm like, screw this shit. Like, here I am running here, running there, and I'm at the other banquets and this and that. And it's like, I'm one person. Thank God I only had two kids because there is no way I could. I didn't have help. I was young when I had kids. I remember complaining to my mother. I was so overwhelmed. I got overwhelmed a lot because I was so young and we had money. I was always like losing it. And my mom said, shut away until I retired to have kids. She just retired. She just retired.

Speaker 2:
[81:44] You're like my ovaries and you retired at the same time. So it's a good thing I didn't wait for you.

Speaker 3:
[81:49] Are you kidding? Yeah. It's just like, trust me. Like I physically do a lot more and I do the extra. That's the magic. And you do get it back by the way that you're loved. We had a lot of bad years, like not years like everybody else. It's like, you know, I couldn't stand the sight of them. The garage door went up. I'd be like, you know, and sometimes to this day, you know, when the garage goes up, I'm like, here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 2:
[82:17] You said something at the beginning of the episode that I liked that you took pride in all of your work. I think sometimes when women play a supporting, and I'm using supporting in quotations, a supporting role to their husbands, they resent it. And then when you resent it, you don't take pride in the work that you're doing.

Speaker 3:
[82:33] Absolutely.

Speaker 2:
[82:34] And I think that when you really break it all down, like I'm taking pride in raising these boys, I'm taking pride in helping these boys on this team who I love, I take pride in making them cupcakes. When you take pride in little things, I feel like it builds up.

Speaker 3:
[82:47] It does.

Speaker 2:
[82:47] And it's so special to see you here now, get to talk about all of those things that you've done.

Speaker 3:
[82:52] That's what sets you apart. It's not hard. Like the formula of life, if you really sit and think about it, it's not hard. It's like everybody's looking to see what they're getting back. Everybody wants even Steven. Like sometimes that's not what makes you the happiest. It's like, and not everything you do is for them. It's for you too. It's like, I get it. There are other people that want careers. They say, good for you. I don't, I'm not going to work every day. That's not for me. I would die if I had to go to an office and sit at a desk because that's not who I am. Yes, I will take frogs out of the pool with pleasure. I will scrub my, right now my shower doors are soaking. When I get home, I will be scrubbing. That's what brings me joy. It's just how I do things. I cook with pride. I love it. I make sure my bed is perfectly made. I spritz, spritz, spritz my everything, smells nice. That's what I do. Like I said in the beginning, that was shameful when I started years ago. What do you mean you're not working? I'm going to say it a million times. When your kids are little, I wasn't spritzing the sheets with sleepy, sleepy spray.

Speaker 2:
[84:08] There's a loophole here.

Speaker 3:
[84:09] Yeah, I know. Yes, because-

Speaker 1:
[84:11] I know, I'm starting to feel bad about it.

Speaker 3:
[84:12] No, no, no. I wasn't doing any of that, dude. I was like, no. But it was like, there comes a time where things settle down in your life and you are able to be like, there's no shame. I'm taking care of my family. I have boys. Like, yes, I still go the extra distance because you will get it back. Like my kids, it's almost- it's not a cringey relationship we have, but it is. Like it's like we are- like we're the closest four people. Let them know, you know, like the little notes everywhere. Not text, you write them notes. They might not even acknowledge it. St. Patrick's Day, my kid's 26 years old. I put green dye in their toilet with a raisin. Like, you know, the leprechaun pooped in their toilet. They just flush it. They don't say a word, but they know I did it. Like they're like, oh, my mom's so stupid.

Speaker 2:
[85:02] They had a private moment.

Speaker 3:
[85:03] But they did. Like they might not- and they're not going to ignore it. They're boys. They're not men. They're not acknowledging everything. Like I make my husband lunch every day. I'm like, did you see that? I put a sticky note in his lunch. He'll never acknowledge it, but I know he saw it. It's like the little things, like don't expect- you're going to get that back at some point in your life. It's really, you know, but you're the mom. You're- that's your job. Everybody- anybody can be a mom. Take somebody special to be a mommy. And that's from like when you're little all the way to when they're in their 20s. Just keep being mommy and like you'll get that back.

Speaker 1:
[85:37] That was like the perfect way I think to end is that quote. That's like literally just made me tear up. That is such a good point and such a good conversation.

Speaker 2:
[85:48] This was such a beautiful conversation. I love it.

Speaker 3:
[85:51] Anything else?

Speaker 2:
[85:51] No.

Speaker 1:
[85:52] I'll be here till the sun comes out.

Speaker 3:
[85:53] I know.

Speaker 1:
[85:54] We close all of our episodes with our pink spotlight, which is our person place thing tip mantra of the week. And T and I usually share something that's making our life a little bit better this week.

Speaker 2:
[86:05] I'll go since you don't have one yet. So I feel like the past couple weeks I've been doing like quotes or like something that we've done or whatever. So I was going to do a product, but I'm going to save it for another time. So I have four kids and my kids all basically fight all day long and they all wanted to do different things for spring break. So my husband and I were like, fine, we're going to split up. We're doing two different things for spring break. So he took the boys to DC and they went on a boys trip and I took the girls to Florida. One of my daughters decided she didn't want to come. She wanted to spend her week in New Jersey with grandma. So we let her spend a week in New Jersey with grandma. So I took one daughter and her best friend to Florida for a couple of days and we went on a little girls trip. Let me just tell you, when you are not scooping and cleaning and whatever, your kids are actually really fun and cool. We went to the gym together, we all worked out, we went for beach walks, we had lunch, we went for a steak dinner, we went shopping, we all bought matching clothes from this store, Brandy Melville or Menville, I don't even know what it's called, like matching clothes. We had the best time. And I said to my daughter on the way home, I was like, you're so cool when you're not like screaming at your brothers. And she was like, oh, thanks, mom.

Speaker 1:
[87:21] That is so sweet.

Speaker 2:
[87:22] So my pink spotlight is I had like a little solo trip with one of my kids and it was so fun.

Speaker 3:
[87:27] I love that.

Speaker 1:
[87:28] I love it.

Speaker 2:
[87:29] Yes. It was a good memory.

Speaker 1:
[87:31] So mine is a product this week and the weather this the last couple of weeks, it's like 90 degrees and now it's back to winter. Yeah, you're showing some skin. Yeah, like last week we were showing some skin and I was like, I am so white. I have not self tanned myself. I also hate self tanning because I feel like I don't want to get into the bed with like gross self tanner on and I don't have time to like marinate in it.

Speaker 2:
[87:52] You got to time it just right. Just like washing your hair.

Speaker 1:
[87:54] Yes, which it's like that's another thing to do that I can't stand. You have to time it right. I don't have time for that right now. So I found this it's called it's like a skin tint. It's by Luxe Unfiltered, which I love for all self tanning. But it is a quick dry skin tint. And so you can actually put it on while you're dressed already. And like anywhere where you're like, I need a little color, you can actually apply it and it dries instantaneously. And so I wore it to a bridal shower the other day. I like put on this dress. I didn't know what I was going to wear. So I didn't know like what skin is going to be showing, you know? And so I ended up going with kind of like a halter style and I was like, oh, my shoulders are showing my arms are showing. And I just filled it in and it gave me like a nice glow. Now, I wouldn't say a tan, but just like enough where I didn't look pasty white, but I was literally in a dress. I filmed myself and I was like, I'm putting this on while I'm already dressed.

Speaker 3:
[88:48] And it doesn't come on in the dress?

Speaker 1:
[88:49] It doesn't come on the dress. And it lasts like one or two showers, but it doesn't have like the DHA, that the self tanner does. So you don't get a smell.

Speaker 2:
[88:57] Oh, that like is smell.

Speaker 1:
[88:58] Yes, it doesn't have any of that. So I'm like, this product is life changing. We're in an event season, we're in almost summer. And sometimes you just need a quick glow. And this is it.

Speaker 2:
[89:08] Well, and according to the esthetician that we had on a couple of weeks ago, we really should not see the sun. So maybe.

Speaker 3:
[89:14] Oh God, that's.

Speaker 1:
[89:16] I know, I know. I'm like, I need this.

Speaker 3:
[89:18] As I come back.

Speaker 1:
[89:20] You are so tan.

Speaker 3:
[89:22] I have to put sunscreen on my knees because my knees gets so dark, it looks ridiculous. And I have like oil, sunscreen, oil. Like, no, I have like, I am like a hundred. I have veiny legs. Like I have, and my skin's so dry. If I do self tan without, I know, because it's such a step.

Speaker 1:
[89:39] This, this was like kind of hiring too. So I like it. It wasn't. Yeah. Because if you don't do the proper steps, like if you don't exfoliate, that's the whole thing. You have to exfoliate. You have to moisturize the spot so it doesn't get spotty in your knees and your ankles.

Speaker 3:
[89:52] I'm using a brush. I'm like feathering. I'm like, this is ridiculous.

Speaker 1:
[89:56] It's way too much.

Speaker 3:
[89:57] And I will not climb into a bed with, I can't, I don't sleep as it is. There's no way it could be sticky that in the bed.

Speaker 1:
[90:04] So then you're like, how do I do? When do I time this break?

Speaker 3:
[90:07] Sometimes I do it in the morning. I'll shower, I'll sleep, and I'll get up. And then I'm like, I do it and then it dries and then I get dressed. And then it looks like crap.

Speaker 2:
[90:16] So what do you got for us?

Speaker 3:
[90:16] Oh, see, I don't know. I mean, I'm braindead, I'm all out. But I will say that, like I said before, I'm turning 50 this year and I went to Jersey and my closest friends to my heart are my high school friends, which is crazy. My Jersey, crazy. It's not crazy.

Speaker 2:
[90:36] And we're all different. Christina and I are both, we have similar friends from home, we call them.

Speaker 1:
[90:41] There is something about that.

Speaker 3:
[90:43] Every single one of us are different. We've always been different. We dress different, come out with some crazy things and just like, my friends, like my friend's a lawyer. When I see them, they fill my heart. Like, so like to make time for people, I know, and trust me, like I went down there, I'm like, I can't, I have to do this, I have to do that. And I'm just like, no, no, no, no, like I have to. So we're planning a trip, we don't know where. If you don't make time for people in your life, like life just keeps going, you know. You have to make time for people and do the stupid shit. Like we said, we're going to get shirts, you know, 1777. We always get like, when we're together, we get the pajamas and all our faces on it. Like do the, like Google the dumbest shit girls do together or like what you do for your kids and just keep doing it. Even though you think it's so dumb, it's like, no dude, it's fun, you're keeping that guy in the mall, in the center of the mall that makes sure you're keeping him in business for life. Well, he's dead to me because he put the thing on my shirt, I wash it and it's all like, it was a one use thing. But you know what, I have, that's the sad part, I have it. I have a cricket. I can't figure it out. I'm using like the cup, the cup things for the shirts. I'm like, why isn't it peeling off the right way? But I did the, I used the cup shits for the, whatever.

Speaker 2:
[91:59] Listen, you can't do it all.

Speaker 3:
[92:01] I can't do it all. You can't do it all. My attention span is a nut. If I can't figure it out in seven minutes, we move on.

Speaker 2:
[92:08] I like that. Good.

Speaker 1:
[92:09] I love this. This was such a great conversation. We're so happy that you came and made the time for us.

Speaker 3:
[92:15] Thank you so much. I loved it.

Speaker 2:
[92:17] And we're so happy that we got to tell your side of the story.

Speaker 3:
[92:20] Yeah. I'm glad because I usually, I get an unfair edit.

Speaker 2:
[92:25] So this will be a very fair edit.

Speaker 3:
[92:27] I mean, I don't think I said anything. So like, you know, I don't think, but then again, I never think I do. And then they find it, but.

Speaker 1:
[92:34] No, we got you girl.

Speaker 3:
[92:35] Thank you.

Speaker 1:
[92:37] Thank you so much for coming. And we're going to leave all of Andrea's contact info in our show notes. You could follow her on Instagram, her game day fits, her behind the scenes, all of it. We'll share her Instagram and-

Speaker 2:
[92:49] Where they can donate because we need refrigerators for the eighth floor.

Speaker 3:
[92:52] Yes. We're going to set that up too. Because now that I know people are actually watching, I'm like, you're looking at me. If you and I, if she even put up there my first, my LTK, my first one where I wanted to die. And my niece is the one that posted that. And I told her not to. And it was me doing it. And I'm like, I'm not doing this. It's so cringy. And it was like, now I'm like, I am so cringy.

Speaker 1:
[93:14] You're in it.

Speaker 3:
[93:15] People are buying my regs. No, but it's cute. And like I said, I'm gonna be cooking. I'm gonna be cleaning. I'm gonna be linking my stuff as soon as I figure out how to do that. And yeah, it's gonna be fun.

Speaker 2:
[93:30] I love it. We're here for it.

Speaker 1:
[93:31] I know. I'm sure everyone is gonna love a little behind the scenes of Andrea Hurley.

Speaker 3:
[93:35] You think I'm nuts by just listening to me? You wait, wait for the footage.

Speaker 2:
[93:38] It's coming. Look at the two of us behind these mics. You think we think that you're nuts?

Speaker 3:
[93:42] But let me tell you, I think more people could be late than not, you know, so.

Speaker 2:
[93:47] Well, actually, you make a good point. That's what we're hoping to.

Speaker 3:
[93:51] Come along on the ride. I love it.

Speaker 1:
[93:54] All right, everybody. Thank you. We'll see you next week.

Speaker 2:
[93:56] Bye.

Speaker 1:
[93:57] Bye.