transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Hey, you, feeling hungry? Run the Denny's for her. The new Eternia Everyday Value Slam. Part of Denny's Slam and Meal Deals. And see the new Masters of the Universe Movie, only in theaters June 5th.

Speaker 2:
[00:15] Close your eyes. Focus. Listen to work getting done with monday.com. Relax as AI does the manual work, while your teams are reliant on a single source of truth. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform. So flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Notice, you're limitless. Now open your eyes, go to monday.com. Start for free and finally, breathe.

Speaker 3:
[00:53] The time that my business took off is when I had my son. So.

Speaker 4:
[00:56] Do you think that's just coincidental?

Speaker 3:
[00:58] I'm not preaching it as like, have a baby. You will succeed. You will succeed. But I know it didn't stop me.

Speaker 4:
[01:06] Hey everyone, welcome back. Before we dive into today's episode, I wanna play you a clip from the TODAY show. It is 10 years old. It was me talking to camera before I ever had Calvin. What if I don't like the way my life changes? What if I hold that against the kid because I'm thinking that I'm mad at the baby for changing my life? And then I just sit back and it's like, okay. And I get into that excited phase again where I just, I can't wait to meet this little guy who is going to change our life. So this is a vlog I recorded back then. I was pregnant with Calvin, scared to death to become a first time mom. The camera is so close to my face because I was in Calvin's nursery, which was this small little room, not even big enough to be an actual bedroom. So the camera is up in my face because there's nowhere else to go. There's tears in my eyes. I'm genuinely scared to death. I don't know if I can handle being a mom. And this was the first time I really talked about it. There's this fear that goes into having a child for the first time. And I'm not talking about the fear of, will I know how to care for the baby? Will I know how to change diapers? Will I breastfeed or not breastfeed? I don't know. This is the fear of losing your identity to become a new person. And that's what today's conversation is going to be about. That you don't have to change who you are to become a mom. You can still be you. You can still follow all of your hopes and dreams. But just add this momhood to your life resume. And we have the perfect guest today. Her name is Amanda Hirsch. You'll know her as the host of the podcast, Not Skinny, But Not Fat.

Speaker 3:
[02:43] I have a son already. He's five now. And he sleeps through the night. And I don't remember the daily struggles and how much I cried and tossed and turned and sleep trained just for him to turn three, I think it was, and he slept.

Speaker 4:
[02:58] She has two boys. She has Noah who's five and Lenny who's one. And she's been really open about those fears leading into motherhood and how it will impact her career. And guess what? It didn't impact her career at all. We had such a great conversation and here it is with Amanda Hirsch. Thank you so much for chatting with us. I mean, this is so exciting. I watch your podcast and have you here.

Speaker 3:
[03:26] It's just like, it's so exciting. Before we started, I was like, why are my notes over there? You know?

Speaker 4:
[03:32] So your mom, two boys.

Speaker 3:
[03:33] I am, yeah. Last night, we had a terrible night with Lenny, who's my almost two-year-old. And I was like, the only last half full part of not sleeping all night was, I'm coming on a parent podcast so I can complain about what a horrible night I had. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[03:52] I tend to notice, because I have a lot of horrible nights, because I have the three boys, and at some point, the two youngest will always come into my bed, and I can't turn them down.

Speaker 3:
[04:03] I agree with you about them coming to the bed, because my older son Noah comes to my bed, and my husband's parents are like, how is Noah sleeping? Is he still waking up? And I'm like, yeah, he comes to our bed, and I love it. I get cuddled.

Speaker 4:
[04:18] Why would you not want to sleep with somebody?

Speaker 3:
[04:20] It's so cute, and I really, I'm the type of parent, and I have been, since I was pregnant, I'm not an over-researcher. I don't like categorizing myself as like, nap-trapped, a co-sleeper. I'm like, Noah comes to my bed. I know that it's not going to be forever. And, yeah, if he kicks me in the face, I am like, you know?

Speaker 4:
[04:45] There are some times I absolutely hate it, and I get so mad, because I get whacked in the face, and I like have this super strength, where I can just launch them to the other side of the room.

Speaker 3:
[04:53] Launch, and they're like noodles. Like nothing happens at all. So now I'm taking the second one much chiller, not worrying about the sleep, you know, like, but I'm sure by your third, so is the third really like, raises himself vibes?

Speaker 4:
[05:10] There's a lot more of that. He's also just more of a punk, right? Because he knows the threats are meaningless. Like at dinner, he's not eating dinner, and it's like, well, you're going to go to your room if you don't eat that carrot. He's like, drops the carrot, you know? I'm like, you're such a punk. But like, there's really nothing I can do. And then I just kind of, because I got the other two, it's like, I really don't care that much.

Speaker 3:
[05:32] They do have that more like, independent play time, which is really nice. But I have to ask, so when you were going to have your third, sorry, I'm switching the script, were you like, going for the girl vibes?

Speaker 4:
[05:46] Well, I was trying for a third, and then things weren't happening, so I bought a beach house. Instead. Instead, right? I'm like, all right, this is just, you know, this is going to be my life. I'm going to have the two boys, I'm going to get this beach house. And like, so we have a place to escape the city. And then right, like when we closed on that, I found out I was pregnant with my third. And the kind of right away, I found, I was like, maybe it could be a girl. Like, I have two older brothers. So that's like, I love that dynamic. I would love that for her. And then when I found out it was a boy, I was actually relieved because we were still living in the city. So there wasn't that whole like girl boy room thing. You know, they could all just still be together. I didn't need more stuff. I had all the hand-me-downs.

Speaker 3:
[06:24] Any stuff.

Speaker 4:
[06:24] I just bought Rusty yesterday. It just came on Amazon for the first time. New underwear. I'm like, this poor kid has not had his own underwear. He was so excited.

Speaker 3:
[06:34] No, I can't believe even the underwear was a hand-me-down.

Speaker 4:
[06:38] Everything was a hand-me-down.

Speaker 3:
[06:40] But see, that's why the third kids, it's like, they really deal with it, you know? They don't get spoiled. They get, you know, underwear with hopefully no...

Speaker 4:
[06:50] Holes?

Speaker 3:
[06:53] No, that's amazing.

Speaker 4:
[06:54] Would you ever want three?

Speaker 3:
[06:56] I am in the debate now. We had the suburb conversation, my husband and I yesterday, because I've been thinking about the third kid. Of course, my life is finally back on track. You know what I mean? I finally feel better and not post part of me. And of course, then it comes... You should want another one.

Speaker 4:
[07:14] It does.

Speaker 3:
[07:15] I wish I could quiet that damn...

Speaker 4:
[07:17] I will tell you, after I had the third, I don't know if you're going to want to hear this, after I had the third, I was so done. I got rid of...

Speaker 3:
[07:23] I know that.

Speaker 4:
[07:24] I got rid of things. But after my second, I held on to everything. I held on to the crib, I held on to the stroller, I held on to everything.

Speaker 3:
[07:30] It kills me every day. I'll tell you why, because I love different kinds of decision making about family planning. So I love when someone's one and done, I love when someone's two and I knew it, and I was like, go and respect me. I'm like, I love that. I love that everyone has their path and what they want for their lives. And for me, I'm so freaking undecisive. Then I'm like, why can't I have that voice in my head that's like, I'm done. Like, have this planned out. I'm like, I don't know where I'm going to live. I don't know if I'm going to have another... Like, I don't know anything. Right.

Speaker 4:
[08:00] But I do think the opposite is true. Like, if you just have the third, the rest sort of falls into place. Like, you kind of have to figure it out. Like, after I had the third, I was like, no, like, we are New Yorkers. We can live here. I could do this. We don't need a bigger apartment. Laugh in my mom's face. And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, yeah, I can't stand this. I'm sick of being so close to all of you. That's why I was done. So if you were to have a third and move to the suburbs, it all works out because I'm loving it.

Speaker 3:
[08:25] And you know what, I've always had this state of mind about my life, that it's like nothing is permanent. You can try it, I could hate it, could love it. I would try it.

Speaker 4:
[08:36] So you're gonna have the third. We've decided that. You don't have to decide on where you're living yet.

Speaker 3:
[08:42] Okay, okay, we've decided.

Speaker 4:
[08:44] This is our game plan.

Speaker 3:
[08:45] Good to know.

Speaker 4:
[08:46] Yes, I included myself in your plan.

Speaker 3:
[08:48] For people, because I know so many people have this debate, but it comes up everywhere.

Speaker 4:
[08:52] And there's something kind of badass, I think, about being a mom of three. You know, like I'm proud to tell people I'm a mom of three boys.

Speaker 3:
[08:59] First of all, look at you. You had three kids.

Speaker 4:
[09:02] Well, thank you.

Speaker 3:
[09:02] You get that, right? They're like, you?

Speaker 4:
[09:05] There's that, yes. Tell me more.

Speaker 3:
[09:07] And that you're probably sweating and working hard and killing it while you're being a mom.

Speaker 4:
[09:15] Yeah, you just kind of figure it out. But I remember being, this is kind of like what the topic for today was kind of about, was the fear of becoming a mom in the first place. Like, I don't really like other people's kids. So I was like, how can I be a mom? Like, I don't really, I don't know how to change diapers. I don't know how to do this. I love my job. I like traveling. I like my money for myself. And there was like a big part of me that didn't ever want to become a mom. Did you ever have that fear?

Speaker 3:
[09:42] I never had the, I'm going to be a mom. You know, like girls go on The Bachelor at 22 and they're like, my dream is to be a mom of five. And I'm like, have one and talk to me. You know, you want four? I want four. You're like, okay, you're 23. You don't know anything yet. Like for anyone, have one and then decide how many you want. You know, so I didn't have the like, I don't like, like I liked kids, I babysat, I whatever, but I never had the like, I'm going to be a mom. I can't wait to be pregnant. Like it was more like, I see myself as someone who will have a family. But like, damn, when am I going to do it? How am I going to do it? I'm scared of the whole thing of the process of the pregnant, of the birth of the everything. So it really for me was the pressure more came from my husband because he's a very like, by the book, like, okay, we're married, it's been five years, everyone else is doing it, you know? And I'm like, we have to think for ourselves, you know? And then for me was kind of pragmatic at that point. It was like, I was 32, I think, and it was like not an age thing, but it was a, I made kind of a checklist of like where I'm at in all these categories that I wanted to have checked off before having a baby. So it was like mentally okay, because I had really bad periods of anxiety in my life, not going to have a baby then. Mentally okay, you know? Financially, could you do it? Yeah, financially I could do it right now. Yeah. Marriage is good? Marriage is good, you know? That kind of a thing.

Speaker 4:
[11:19] So you are a planner.

Speaker 3:
[11:20] I am. I mean, I wasn't really writing in a notebook, but for me, if it was like we were broke, I wouldn't have had a baby at that point in my life. If like my relationship wasn't good. So for me it was like, okay, everything is checking out, there is one box that I'm unsure of, which was the career box. Because at this point, Where were you at in your career? I was, so I started my Instagram account in 2016, but I was slow burning it. Like this wasn't an overnight thing. In 2019, I started my podcast and that's, I had Noah by 2020. So I wasn't at all making a living from it. Let's put it that way. Or any money from it at that point. I was still working like two jobs. So it was like, I'm not where I want to be. I have these dreams. I have these goals. The baby, that would stop everything. It would ruin everything. It would stop everything. I wouldn't be able to do this.

Speaker 4:
[12:12] Why do you think we think that way?

Speaker 3:
[12:14] I don't know. And that's why it's my mission to spread the fact that for me, because of the other boxes we were talking about, at some point it was like, okay, all these other things are okay. This is the one thing. So I'm just going to wing it. And hopefully I'm wrong. And I was wrong. And after I had Noah, and I know this because I, again, as you could tell, I'm like a person right from the start, is I got my first brand deal after I had Noah. I was postpartum, puffy, ugly, leaky, being like, you should buy this laundry detergent. But it started happening for me. And it was COVID, which horrible time, but great for content creators. It was actually the time that my business took off is when I had my son. So-

Speaker 4:
[13:07] Do you think that's just coincidental?

Speaker 3:
[13:10] I'm not preaching it as like, have a baby, you will succeed. But I know it didn't stop me. So either it was like in spite of it, or because of it in some way, it still happened. So I know it's like possible. And with Noah, I was in the trenches. You know, with my second son, it's like, okay, I have some help. You know, things are a little different now, but I was in it. It was, you know, two years of day and night, only us, and breastfeeding, I breastfed to like two and a half. So I was like in it, in it, in it, in it. And still this happened. So for me, and I know it sounds like kitschy or, you know, whatever, but it's kind of like a blessing. Yeah, I'm having a baby. And like, I do feel like even with my second, like, good shit happens kind of after. Like, it brings like good energy and motivates you in a way. And so I really had a positive experience in that way, where like my kids, and especially my first, which is where I was fearful that everything would change, that I would become this like just mom, and I wouldn't be able to. So I have this saying that goes, you could be a mom and still be a dumb bitch. And the reason why, you know, I came up with that was because I remember after even getting pregnant and thinking about all the things I was scared of, I said, no, you're gonna keep on doing what you're doing, which was at the time like I was talking a lot about like reality TV and recapping shows and talking about pop culture and celebrities stuff. So I'm like, if I'm in the damn hospital, like being like, so this is what happened, like that's what I'm gonna do. And the baby will be eating or breastfeeding, doing whatever. And I literally did that. And I remember flash forward to having Noah being at home with him and doing my thing. So I kind of proved to myself that I'm following through with what I said I would do. And also that you could be the person that you were. You could still like the things that you liked. You don't have to become interested only in like, mom things. And all of a sudden care about only like, kid stuff and all the stuff that I loved before, I still love. And you could really stay yourself and become a mom, which I think scares a lot of people that they won't be able to do.

Speaker 4:
[15:31] It's like severance. I mean, I feel like I have my life that I love. I love my job. I love coming to work. I'm not thinking about my kids. And then I go home and I love being a mom. I love being with the kids and I'm not really thinking about work. And it's like I'm living two different lives, but they're all cohesive, you know, like I've got this, I've got, you know, I talk about my kids a lot on the show, but like I really enjoy when I'm not with them, as much as I enjoy being with them. Do you change the way you approach anything you do because of the kids? Like, can you still be exactly the way you were? Do you handle interviews differently? Do you talk about different topics? Just, you know, like we're relating on the fact that we have kids, but still love our jobs.

Speaker 3:
[16:13] So I do love talking about it. It is true. I love hearing about people's, you know, parenting styles, but I don't think I change how I approach. I think in general, I've kind of matured and think about everything before I talk about it, but not in the way that I approach things. I can still care about the dumb shit, even if like my kid is sick at home and I'm dealing with that too. But I'm like, my husband's like, what happened? I'm like, oh no, Kim was just seen with like, you know, Louis Hamilton. So I really live, like you were saying, actually that's a perfect example, almost like a double life. Because I really didn't change in my professional life, but I have that completely separate home life where it's like, okay, nobody cares, you just came from Sundance, like calm down. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you don't even get the like glory for a second. That's the thing about being a mom too, is you can come from the chicest like gala wherever you're going. And you're like, and then it's like, Lenny vomited, like go clean it up. And you're like, okay, you know, and it brings you right back down. Like, you don't get a moment, you know?

Speaker 4:
[17:17] How do you handle the day to day of like what you do? Like, I'm thinking, you know, we had to watch Heated Rivalry because we had all the guests on the show.

Speaker 3:
[17:27] That's a great question.

Speaker 4:
[17:28] So it's kind of, you know, and here I am.

Speaker 3:
[17:30] I saw gel, but you had all of them. Yeah. Which was awesome.

Speaker 4:
[17:34] I mean, Connor's story was amazing. But like I need to watch the show. Like we got a specific email that said all the characters are coming on the show. Like you have to watch this. So I wait for the kids to go to bed. They don't like when I stay downstairs and watch TV. Like they want me to go to bed when they go to bed. So I'm like watching on my phone and then Calvin comes in because he's got to pee again. And I'm like, and my face is like right red. I'm like, does he know what I was just watching?

Speaker 3:
[17:57] Yeah. I mean, wait, that's exactly how I watched it though. That's exactly. So I was in Miami with the kids. When the finale was coming out, it was very important to me that I watched the finale with the world because it was the awaited cottage episode, you know? Literally, I'm in bed, such a similar story. I'm in bed with Noah and he's watching something on his iPad and I'm watching blowjobs on my iPad, you know? And people always ask, how do you have time for? And it's like, first of all, like they're at school and they have their days. So you have time to watch the shows. But definitely things like that happen.

Speaker 4:
[18:37] Was there anything you remember being fearful of before you were a mom that you were like, what? Like, I wish I could tell myself, like, just stop, because it's really not that bad.

Speaker 3:
[18:48] I was very chill going into it. I was like, I don't want to watch birth videos. I don't want to know anything. People would start telling me, I don't want to know. I do have this way of not having the anxiety, like I don't have the choking anxiety, the sleeping anxiety.

Speaker 4:
[19:07] I don't have any of that either.

Speaker 3:
[19:08] You know, like I didn't have that. I was more just worried about how it changed my life, you know, and turned it upside down. And we've learned that it doesn't have to do that. Yeah, it doesn't.

Speaker 4:
[19:24] Stay with us. We'll be right back after the break.

Speaker 1:
[19:36] Hey, you, feeling hungry? Run to Denny's for the new Eternia Everyday Value Slam, part of Denny's Slammin Meal Deals. And see the new Masters of the Universe Movie, only in theaters June 5th.

Speaker 5:
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Speaker 6:
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Speaker 4:
[20:42] Do you travel a lot?

Speaker 3:
[20:44] I'm very picky about my travel. I don't love it. We went to Miami for one of the breaks, and I regretted bringing my young one. I was like, I should have just left him at home.

Speaker 4:
[20:57] Why did you bring him?

Speaker 3:
[20:58] Because I never had, it was like, we're going on a family vacation. He just hated every minute. He was screaming on the plane. He was one of the screaming babies on the plane.

Speaker 4:
[21:10] I actually don't mind screaming babies, I know it's not mine. Like when I'm traveling alone, I'm like, oh, I feel for you, but so glad that's not me right now.

Speaker 3:
[21:17] So I posted about that when I was on the plane, I was like, feel bad for me. And people go off in the comments. So there's the defenders and there's the freaks that would murder a baby on a plane. And being a mom, I know the anxiety I feel when it's my kid. When it's not my kid, I don't have any anxiety attached to it. Just actually sadness for the parent that has to deal with it.

Speaker 4:
[21:45] Because you know what they're going through.

Speaker 3:
[21:46] Yeah, you don't have any emotion. So you're not like, oh, what? But it's so crazy because you would think, who would be the monster to think any differently? And then you go on threads or something. And now I get targeted by the airplane stories. So every day I'll see one being like, there should be a law. No, babies, I'm playing. And I'm like, every day I'll see a post like this, I guess, because I posted a plane story. But yeah, for the parent, you are dying, I feel like.

Speaker 4:
[22:14] And half the time, I mean, with my kids, they just want to run up and down the hallway in a hotel. Right. They don't care where we are, how nice the room is, what food we're eating, what we're doing. They're just like, or jumping from bed to bed. Like that's, but with boys, that's all they want to do.

Speaker 3:
[22:30] I know. It's so scary, the things they do. Like should I let them jump from the bunk bed onto the couch? Or should I say no to everything?

Speaker 4:
[22:38] Yeah, I just let them do it.

Speaker 3:
[22:39] You let them do it.

Speaker 4:
[22:40] It took till my third before we had stitches. Yeah, but I was impressed that with three boys, it took till the third before we had stitches.

Speaker 3:
[22:47] I feel like every man I know has like half a tooth.

Speaker 4:
[22:51] Calvin has half a tooth.

Speaker 3:
[22:52] My husband too. No, it's actually, you have half a tooth? All the, what, isn't that great? I feel like this needs to be talked about more.

Speaker 4:
[22:59] It's true.

Speaker 3:
[22:59] Every man has fricking half a tooth. And it's insane because you all are falling on your faces as kids. My husband just fell off. He's like, kill me, but he's not going to listen. So it's such a hilarious thing. His thing fell off like the last week.

Speaker 4:
[23:13] Yeah, because girls aren't walking around with half a tooth.

Speaker 3:
[23:15] And the dude's here, too. All have a tooth thing. Damn.

Speaker 4:
[23:20] Boys are a lot. Yeah, I mean, it's just full energy all the time.

Speaker 3:
[23:24] That's so, when mine get hurt, I feel like maybe because I have that knowledge, the first thing I'll look at is the teeth.

Speaker 4:
[23:29] It's the teeth, yes.

Speaker 3:
[23:30] It's half a tooth.

Speaker 4:
[23:32] Everybody's doing it, yeah. When you hear people tell you, you make me not scared to be a mom.

Speaker 3:
[23:39] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[23:40] I love that compliment.

Speaker 4:
[23:42] They love what you're doing. They love how you're doing it.

Speaker 3:
[23:44] Yeah, it really means a lot to me. As I was telling you, I posted like with Noah as a baby. He was part of my stories, not in a mom content way, but no, I'm just kidding. And he's there as I'm talking about the Army Hammer scandal that happened in 2020. It's a big one. Noah, don't listen. Cursing over his head. People are like, you're cur... But he doesn't understand. But I think in the whole, you can be a mom and still be a dumb bitch, is kind of all part of it. I think I make them not scared to be a mom, not only because I post with my kids, and maybe they think that we're sweet together, that I talk to them kind of like a person or whatever they see. I think they also see that I haven't changed. So I really go back to that. And I think that makes them less scared. Like they could think my kids are cute again, or the relationship, or that I'm a fun mom, a cool mom, a gorgeous mom. All these things. But I think the main thing is, wait, you are the same. We see you living your life. We see you working at what you've always said you wanted to do. So it means a lot. And it also makes me so happy, because I know how scared I was of that. So to spread the gospel, that you don't have to be scared in that way, it really makes me happy. So that means that I always love to see that. If you were scared to do it, and you were having all these thoughts, and something I posted or said made you feel like, I could do it too.

Speaker 4:
[25:17] So do you ever think about going forward as your kids are aging? Do you think there's always just like a sense of fear or uneasiness about every stage of life that your kids go through?

Speaker 3:
[25:29] I think about like my life, and I know in the city especially, you get so stressed, like you didn't apply it from, oh, whoa, wait. Let me go back to what I know. I know how I grew up. I went to whatever school I was mother f***ing zoned for, excuse my French, you know? And then I was moved to another country, and then I came back, and then I was moved again, and then I came back. Like I was all over the... I'm like, I mean, you know? No, but I truly mean that like kids are resilient.

Speaker 4:
[25:58] It makes you think of things you didn't even know you needed to think about.

Speaker 3:
[26:01] I'm like, first of all, Noah's probably going to be an hippo baby, you know? And he's not going to have to deal with this. No, he loves it too much.

Speaker 4:
[26:08] It's crazy.

Speaker 3:
[26:08] He's like, are you going to post that on Instagram? I'm like, okay, so we don't have to worry about... We don't have to worry about that for you. But the school stuff, I will not let them get me. You know what I mean? I think we've all been through it. As it comes, I kind of deal with it. I think the perfect word I describe myself is this. I remember having Noah and like, it's like fluster. I can get fluster.

Speaker 4:
[26:36] That's a perfect word for it.

Speaker 3:
[26:37] Isn't that the perfect word? I could sweat and when you're whipping the boob out and you're with the stroller and everything's falling and you're a mess, I feel like a mess, but I don't overstress about like dinner, lunch, eating this. I think Noah's like on a hunger strike. Like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Force feed him? I'll eat pasta and he'll be like, I need water and I'll be like the cockroaches.

Speaker 4:
[27:00] The water thing?

Speaker 3:
[27:01] The water thing?

Speaker 4:
[27:03] This is the most hydrated generation on the planet.

Speaker 3:
[27:06] It's funny because Noah last night cried because I got so frustrated because we go to bed. First of all, after he brushes his teeth, he's like, water. So I do the cuffs, more water, more water, more water, whatever. And then we go to bed and he's like, water. And I'm like, I turn to the hulk.

Speaker 4:
[27:23] I do too.

Speaker 3:
[27:24] I'm like, this is not normal. Like he does not need this amount of water.

Speaker 4:
[27:27] They're f***ing with us.

Speaker 3:
[27:27] You can't be that thirsty.

Speaker 4:
[27:28] Get them into bed and it's, I need water. I need water. I'm like, right, because you're going to die if you don't drink water right now. And I just get so mean and they drag it out.

Speaker 3:
[27:36] I know, it's exactly what happened to me last night that I was putting him to sleep. And then he laid on me and I was like, Noah! And then he cried because I heard his feelings.

Speaker 4:
[27:45] Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3:
[27:45] So then there's another 20 minutes of consoling. And I was like, f**k you, f**k up! You know, I'm making this longer. I know, it's my own fault. Like, of course I felt bad. I was like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4:
[27:55] Forgive me.

Speaker 3:
[27:56] I always want to hug you.

Speaker 4:
[27:58] Of course.

Speaker 3:
[27:58] Not right now because I want to get the heli out of this bed and watch the pit. But it was my mistake that caused a 15 minute delay.

Speaker 4:
[28:09] I know, and you have to go back and-

Speaker 3:
[28:10] I did it. I got mad.

Speaker 4:
[28:11] If you were just kind for 30 more seconds.

Speaker 3:
[28:15] I held it together for 30 more seconds. I wouldn't have an extra 15 minutes of the tears. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. They know when you're stressed. They know when you're ready to get the hell out of there. So like, play it cool.

Speaker 4:
[28:30] More of The Parent Chat after the break. Hey, you.

Speaker 1:
[28:38] Feeling hungry? Run to Denny's for the new Eternia Everyday Value Slam. Part of Denny's Slammin Meal Deals. And see the new Masters of the Universe movie, only in theaters June 5.

Speaker 5:
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Speaker 2:
[29:22] Close your eyes. Listen to monday.com. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform. So flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Now open your eyes. Go to monday.com. Start for free and finally, breathe.

Speaker 4:
[29:43] So we do this little thing called Parenting Confessions. So I'm gonna ask you questions. Have you ever hid in the bathroom from your kids?

Speaker 3:
[29:52] Guilty.

Speaker 4:
[29:53] But they always find their way in.

Speaker 3:
[29:55] Also, do you consider peeing, finishing peeing, but staying there on your phone for 25 more minutes hiding? Then like daily. My husband has to be like, are you okay? And I'm like, coming.

Speaker 4:
[30:08] I hear somebody crying downstairs. Mommy, hold on, I'm in the bathroom. It's just the easiest place. You can shut and lock the door. Although if you don't lock the door, there is no privacy. So we also do this thing like controversial parenting, like a little spicy take on parenting, something that other people would say, oh my God, I can't believe you do that, but you stand by.

Speaker 3:
[30:28] For me, I feel like I really talk to Noah like he's an adult, maybe sometimes too much. It's all like gossip. My husband's like, he could literally go say that to, I'll be like, I don't know, what is he wearing? I was like, where does his mom shop for him? You know, so I do that, but it does actually make him very observant. Like the fact that I discuss these things with him, like it's so funny, I went to pick him up the other day and I had to go into the class because I was picking him up early and I saw one of his friends and I was like, oh my God, that's such a cool scarf. Like to his friend, this friend was like, okay, like, thank you, I can bring you one tomorrow. And then Noah goes, look, and says about this other kid, he has a scarf too. And I was like, and then as we're walking on, I'm like, not a cute scarf, you know? And it's okay, like he should know, that's a cute scarf. That's not a cute scarf. By the way, Noah has a great sense of style. But yeah, I kind of have him, like, you know, if my sister's being super late, I'll be like, she's the slow one in the family. You know, like, so I clue him in, I feel like it did give him, he has such a sense of humor. He gets it, he gets me. Even if I turn into the Hulk, he'll just have to look at me and be like, you know, like, he gets me because I show him all of me. He doesn't get this, like, mom, like, honey, how much? You know, he gets the whole real me with, like, the sass, and, you know, the thing. And so, yeah, I guess that's mine.

Speaker 4:
[31:57] What about something you're proud of as a mom? Like, when do you really think you're crushing this?

Speaker 3:
[32:02] When I see that my kid is, and I'll speak of, like, the older one, because the younger one is still a baby. But when I see him have confidence, I feel like I'm killing it. Because to me, confidence is such a sign of, like, good things are happening, you know? And security, and that I'm giving him everything he needs to feel good about himself. I feel so good about that, because I know for me, my mom did that for me, and no matter what our circumstance was, she made me feel like I was the most beautiful, the most talented, the most whatever. And I talk about how that made me able to, you know, stick with this for so long, and believe that I can do it, and do it, and do it. So when I see that in my kid, I'm so happy, because I know how much that gave me in my life. Like, without having confidence, you know?

Speaker 4:
[32:56] You're scared to do everything.

Speaker 3:
[32:57] I would be scared to do anything that I'm doing now. So, I love it. Love watching him look in the mirror. Love watching him, you know, be proud of himself, or, you know, be the first one to raise his hand, or whatever it is. I'm like, I'm doing good. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[33:12] Well, it seems like so much of that confidence came from you. So be proud.

Speaker 3:
[33:17] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[33:17] You seem like such a wonderful mom.

Speaker 3:
[33:19] Thank you so much.

Speaker 4:
[33:19] Yeah, it's so nice to chat with you.

Speaker 3:
[33:21] You too. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 4:
[33:22] Thank you so much. So my takeaway, I guess, from all of this is that it's okay to feel scared. Yes, your life is about to change, but your identity is not going to change. You're still you. You're just adding mom to the list and you're going to crush it. Everything is going to be just fine. You'll see. So, of course, I want to hear your take on our conversation. I want to know about the first time you became a mom. What changed and really what stayed the same? You can DM us on Instagram at TODAYParents or at Dylan Dreyer NBC. Let's bring you into this conversation and see what it was like for you. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. This episode was produced by Anne Lagomayo with video production by Andy Tavares and audio production by Matt Tierney. Rachel Paula Abramson is our parenting reporter. Our senior producer is Tyree Nobles. It was edited by Ali Strain. Our audio engineer is Joe Plord. Our head of audio production is Jessica Fenton. Ashley Domigola is our production manager. Sadie Bass is our supervising producer. Ariana Davis is the executive editor of The Today Show, and Ashley Codiani is the vice president of content strategy. I'm Dylan Dreyer, and this has been The Parent Chat, a production of The Today Show. See you next week.

Speaker 1:
[34:49] Hey, you, feeling hungry? Run the Denny's for... The new Eternia Everyday Value Slam! Part of Denny's Slammin Meal Deals. And see the new Masters of the Universe Movie, only in theaters June 5th.