transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.

Speaker 2:
[00:15] Frank Sinatra, transcribed as Rocky Fortune. NBC presents Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Hi, when I was a kid, a couple of maiden aunts made me practice the bull fiddle to strengthen my character. It didn't do much for my character because I hucked the fiddle and ran away from home. Every once in a while, though, I got a chance to pick up a couple of bucks playing with a small combo at a Polish wedding or a bar mitzvah. The last job I had was neither. It was more of a funeral, my own. Hey, Dad, I want to speak to Rocky Fortune. You got him. Rock, this is Bugsy. Bugsy Barton. Well, hi, you jazz boy. Where you been? Me and the cats have bounced a little flea back called the Hotel Zanzibar. You think that place? I've been there. High as America's greatest bebop horn. Gainin altitude, man. Gainin altitude. Gettin tall, huh? Yeah, real high. You all lookin for a little gainful employment? You mean music? Dad, I don't mean bricklaying. Bugs, I ain't played the bass for five years. Also, my instrument is with Uncle. I hucked it for train fare. Man, that don't signify. We'll scuffle up a bass for you. How much and where? There's an Z-bar, fifteen bucks on the pad for the night. See you in a half hour. Solid, solid. Plant you now and dig you later. Whatever happened to that line? I invest the subway token, and 20 minutes later, I am in the jungle room of the Hotel Zanzibar, which is a cheap three-story flea bag on Bleakman Street. On the bandstand is Bugsy Barton and his five barrels of Bach. Bugsy is a musician's musician, and the boys are playing strictly from Memphis. After the set, Bugsy comes over and sits down with me. This boy is five feet wide across the chest, and he doesn't know from his own strength. Rock boy, give me some skin, man. Easy, Bugs, you're breaking up the Metacouples. What's up? My bass player's on the sauce. I need somebody to take his place tonight. Well, I ain't much of a bass player, Bugs. That don't matter, man. All you got to do is stand up there and waddle up the wheelchair. I just want to cover the boy to keep the hotel manager from blowing his top. Yeah, I see what you mean. Where's the fiddle? You go up to Johnny's room, 212. Get his fiddle and come on down. Johnny? Johnny Lament, man, the best double bass you ever laid an eardrum on. Yeah, of course. He used to play with Goodman, didn't he? Oh, this Johnny's been all over town, Rock. Man, when he's sober, he can play all over that instrument. Hits every register with a cash register. Uh, what's wrong? Girl trouble. He used to have a little thrush called Evie Johnson. She and Johnny had a falling out and he's taking it pretty hard. Come on, man, you better hustle. We're on in ten minutes. I hopped the self-service elevator up to two and looked for room 212. It ain't very hard because it's the only room with a built-in trombone player. Yes? This Johnny Lamant's room, baby? What do you want? I'm Rocky Fortune. I'm sitting in for Johnny till he comes in for a landing, which won't be soon by the looks of him. You still haven't said what you want. Oh, pardon me. I need the fiddle. Don't you have your own instrument? Honey, don't give me a bad time. I need the fiddle. Come in. Thanks. Hello, Sonny. Who's that? Take it easy, Johnny. Evie. Evie, you come back in? Is that you, Evie? Oh, this kid's from Bellevue. Evie. Johnny, go back to sleep. Put some more music on, baby. Put me something sad. If you see my baby, you send her home to me. Tell my baby, I'm sad as I can be. Who's that cat? Name's Rocky Fortune, Johnny. I'm sittin in with Bugsy and the boys tonight. I need your fiddle.

Speaker 1:
[04:51] Sure, man.

Speaker 2:
[04:52] Anything you say, man. You want a drink, man? A Dolores, honey. Give this righteous cat a little drink. I don't touch it, John. Say, man, you see, I've got a lot of money. Say, man, you see my eevee anyplace around? I see a little chick about so high with her softest, blonde hair. You seen her, man? Afraid not, Johnny. The fiddle's in the closet, Rocky. Thanks, baby. I didn't catch her name. I didn't throw it. It's Dolores Kane. I'm Bugsy's new singer. Pleased to meet you. Hey. Yes? What's the gun on the shelf for? Oh, it's Johnny's. Don't worry. I already threw the bullets out the window. Clever girl. Thank you. And pretty, too. Thank you. And don't forget the bass fiddle. Yeah. Oh, sure. Come in. It's 1110, Miss Kane. Write down, Mr. Quaid. In case no one has informed you, Miss Kane, I pay you and Mr. Barton to put on a show in my club at 1030. It is now 1110.

Speaker 1:
[05:51] I'm sorry, Mr. Quaid.

Speaker 2:
[05:52] We were just... I can see what you were just. Is this drunken paganini going to perform tonight? Well, Johnny isn't feeling so good, Mr. Quaid, but Mr. Fortune here is going to take his place. Fortune? I don't believe I've ever heard of him. Rocky Fortune? Why, he's one of the greatest bass players in the business. I'm paying for the greatest. Rocky, tell Mr. Quaid how you and Dixie had him screaming for mercy at Lija's Hot in Paris last year. Well, yeah, I don't want to brag, baby. Oh, go on. Well, you see, we was playing the dog watch from 12 to 4, and suddenly Dixie gets off on Japanese Sandman. Everybody said Dix was losing his lip, but that night he was blowing up a storm. I'm just playing along when up he comes, boogity boogity, open horn, and every note it was to look like it was greased and stuffed. Pretty soon, the cats were jumping and pandemonium breaks loose. French bankers were tearing their clothes off. You know, it took 150 John Downs to calm the joint down. That's very interesting, Mr. Fortune, but the next show is due to start in three minutes, if you don't mind. Me? I don't mind. See you later, Johnny. Anything you say, man. You see my Evie down there, you tell her Johnny says come back here. You tell her Johnny's been to Weep City for and he wants him back. I shoulder the fiddle down of the jungle room, just as Bugsy and the boys get off on Sweet Lorraine. We start off playing what the French call the in time. We call it in a closet. After a while, the joint starts jumping, and for the next five hours, I slap that bass until the gut turns black and blue. Also my hand. Half the time, I'm in two different keys, but nobody cares, and the fans figure I'm another Eddie Safranski, because I'm playing notes that don't even exist. About four in the a.m., the whole deal builds to a crescendo till I think the top of my head's gonna fly off. And then suddenly we're playing 16 bars of Good Night, Sweetheart, and it's all over. I think. Okay, cut, that does it. Thanks, Rock. Well, how did it go, pal? Oh, I tell you, sweet and groovy like a 90 cent movie, man. Yeah, what happens now? You won't play again tomorrow? We got a room for you on the third floor if you need a pad for the night. Fifteen bucks? Fifteen. You got it. Solid. Here's the key. Say, how's Johnny Lament? Oh, still on his hip. He's taking this thing kind of hard, hasn't he? What happened to him? Him and Evie had a big thing. Tonight she walked out bagging baggage. Oh, that's rough. Yeah, that's dainty for him. Invest heavy and come out light. See you in the AM You're pardoning expression, but what time? The boys stopped seeing double about 11. We rehearse at 12. I love the bull fiddle up to the third floor and head for my room. I don't get very far, however, because halfway down the hall, I hear something which ain't music. Hey, what's going on in there? Open up! Open up! Take it easy, baby. Wait a minute, just a minute. What's wrong here? In the... in the bedroom. Before I have a look, would you mind putting down the knife? Knife? I didn't even know... Unless that's ketchup on it, baby, maybe you better tell me what's in that room. Ketchup is impossible. It never is. Pardon me while I take a look. Don't go away. Some cat's killed the canary. All right, Dolores, let's have it. It can't be. Come on, baby, what happened here? I finished singing my last number, and I had a drink at the bar. It made me sleepy, and I came up to the room and passed out. I woke up a minute ago, he was lying on the bed, and this knife was in my hand. Rocky, I didn't kill her. I didn't. Just take it easy. If you didn't, who did?

Speaker 1:
[09:54] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[09:56] I swear to you, it happened just the way I said. When I saw her, I screamed, and then... Take it easy, baby. Look, open your eyes. What? I said open your eyes. Look at me. Okay. What was that for? Just checking, honey. Somebody slipped your Mickey. Your pupils are contracted. It was the drink. I know it. You know why anybody would want to frame you for Eve Johnson's murder? Well, why should anyone? Somebody did, baby. Now, come on, we gotta work fast. Whoever did this has probably phoned the gendarmes already. What can we do? I don't know. At 4 a.m., it... Wait a minute, listen. You go out and press the elevator button. What are you gonna do? Get rid of the body. Now get moving. Dolores holds the elevator while I carry Eve's body in. Then I tell her to hold the button until I can hustle down to the first floor. I hit the lobby just as my good friend Detective Sergeant Hamilton J. Finger of Homicide comes on like Buster's gang. Pardon me, Sam. Yes? Homicide, we got a tip on a body in room 310. Oh, there must be some mistake, Sergeant. Well, well, my old cellmate Hamilton Finger. Oh, mind a note. Is this one of your practical jokes, Fortune? I don't know from what you're talking, Sarge. Step over the elevator with me. We'll go upstairs, Rocky. Anything you say. Look, what brings you here? I ain't sure, but I think it's a corpse. I jabbed the elevator button and we wait for the car. My pumper is playing footsie with my Adam's apple as the car comes down. And the door is open. And I nearly drop dead. The car is as empty as ever it's feel in December. We ride up to room 310, which belongs to Dolores Kane. Hey, Sarge, what's it all about? You'll find out.

Speaker 1:
[11:52] Yes?

Speaker 2:
[11:53] Open up, baby, homicide. Sergeant Finger, Miss Kane.

Speaker 1:
[11:57] You've met.

Speaker 2:
[11:58] Dolores sings for Bugsy. I've been sitting in. That's musician's talk. You mind if I look around? Help yourself. You mind if I ask you what you're looking for? We got a phone call that said there was a dead woman in this room. That isn't very flattering. What's in that? Take a look. Empty. I think somebody's been pulling your leg, Sergeant. Both of them. Where's the bedspread? In the hamper. Excuse me. I suppose this is nail polish. How did you know? Yogi. Mind if I take it down the lab for analysis? If you'll have it laundered. Okay, what's in the closet? Oh, that's a small dragon named Launcelot. Careful he doesn't bite you. Boo. Okay, I'll have the bed spread analyzed for blood stains. Now don't go away, either one of you. We wouldn't think of it. Nighty night, Sides. And no more practical jokes, you understand? What did you do with it? What? The body. It's in the elevator. Not anymore it ain't. What do you mean? It never made the first floor. The car was empty.

Speaker 1:
[13:08] That's impossible.

Speaker 2:
[13:09] Eve Johnson's body didn't walk out of that car, baby. Somebody lifted it. But what's that mean? Somebody must have stopped the car in the second floor. Correct. The next question is, who would want to steal a corpse? What do we do? Well, Finger's going to find blood stains on that spread. And when he does, he'll be back with some ticklish questions. And I got a hunch we better have the answers. Let's move. We start a room-to-room canvas at the second floor. Dolores takes one card, and I take the other. Result, a big fat goose egg. I finish my card and go look for Dolores. She's gone, but from the sound of voices, I figure she stopped off to see how Johnny Lament is making out. I start to go in, but I change my mind. Johnny, cut it out. She's dead, ain't she? My little Evie's dead. Oh, don't be crazy. I ain't crazy, baby, not anymore. What makes you think she's dead? I could see it in your eyes when I asked you about it. Would it matter so much? She walked out on you, didn't she? She'd come back if she was okay. I know Evie. Come on, Dolores, what happened to her? How should I know? You know, baby. You said you was going to kill her. Get her out of your head. She told me. She says, Johnny boy, Dolores is jealous of you, and she says if I don't stop seeing you, she'll kill me. It's not true. Come on, baby, I know you. We were married once, you and me, remember? Now let's have it. What did you do to Eve? Nothing. That don't wash, baby. That just don't wash. Johnny, stay away. You're going to tell me, honey, where's Eve? What did you do to her? Johnny, you're crazy drunk. Now get away. You're going to talk? Johnny, no!

Speaker 1:
[14:42] Johnny!

Speaker 2:
[14:42] Talk! All right, hold it, John. Get out of here. Knock it off. You all right, baby? Not that I really care.

Speaker 1:
[14:51] I'm all right.

Speaker 2:
[14:52] Sit down, jazz ball. Is she your new boyfriend, baby? There's nothing like his face and I think I've changed. Sit down. Johnny! He's all right. I had to belt him and I ought to clip you too. I don't understand. I heard it, baby. I got big ears. You didn't bother to tell me you were married to Johnny Lament, and you didn't bother to tell me you and Eve had a slight falling out. I wanted you to help me. I was afraid. You wanted a patsy, baby, and you got one. Only you're about to lose him, because Rocky Boy is going to walk away from all this right down the nearest police station. Rocky, no. All that bilge about how you were framed and me with my open mind. I got a hole in my head. Rocky, it's not true. Yeah, well, tell Dick the fun loving robo boy when he comes to. I'll leave his fiddle in the band room. So long, baby. And the next time you want a corpse moved, call the seven Santini brothers. I don't belong to the right union. I put it up to my room as mad as a centipede with a hot foot, and lugged the big bass fiddle down to the band room, which is right across the hall from Johnny LeMence's room. The empty fiddle case is standing in the corner. I start to lay it down flat, and it weighs about a ton. And even before it slips out of my hands, I know why. Holy smokes. Okay, fly boy, get them up high. So you're the guy who was all busted up about losing his best girl. Back against the wall. A real nice guy. Kills his doll and tries to hang it on his ex-wife. You're a doll, buster. She found out I was pushing dope and threatened to go to the cops. I had a killer. Why, you crummy dope peddler. It's misfits like you to give honest musicians a bad name. Don't run your mouth at me, Fortune. If you'd have kept out of it, you'd be all right. You're going to have a tough time trying to get rid of two corpses, John boy. A fiddle case only holds one. I'll worry about that when I turn around. Sure, pal, anything you say. Only before I do, there's one thing I think you ought to know. Yeah? Dolores took the bullets out of your gun. Hello, hello. Yes, please. Who is this? The manager, what is it, please? Listen, Quay, this is Rocky Fortune. I'm up in the band room, 2-15. Now listen, Eve Johnson's body's up here in a base fiddle case, and I got the cat that killed it. And get the cops and make it fast. You say you've got the man who stabbed it? Stretched out like a herring. That's just fine, Fortune. Stay right there, I'll call the police. Make it fast, I hear somebody coming now. Don't worry, you'll be taken care of. It takes about two seconds before lightning strikes. How did Quaid know she was stabbed, and how did he know it was a man? Suddenly, little wheels start to spin around in my noodle. Quaid is in on it. Sure, he is. He's probably supplying Johnny Lament with his stuff. And what's more, he's undoubtedly on his way up here right now. I start to pick up Johnny Lament's.45 and remind myself that Dolores Kane has removed the bullets. A hand turns the door knob, but it can't be Quaid so soon. I just pray that one of the cats has come to get his instrument. The door opens, I freeze. Hey, hey dad, put the thing down, you gon goony? Bugsie, brother, am I glad to see you. Put down the heater, man. What's going on in here? Take a look in that fiddle case. Holy smokes, ee. Yeah, here's the little boy who did it. Johnny? Admitted it. I had to flatten him. Well, you did real good. Not good enough. Listen, Bugs, the manager's on his way up here right now, and unless I miss my guess, he's got heavy artillery.

Speaker 1:
[18:38] Quaid?

Speaker 2:
[18:39] Is he in on this? He is now. I got to get out of here. What you gonna do? I got a sudden brainstorm. Look, help me get Eve Johnson's buddy out of this case. Come on, pal. Get with it. Come on. Okay, okay. Where to? In the closet. Yeah. Attaboy. Now dump Laughing Boy into the bass drum. Right. Now, open the door. Look, you think you can lift that case with me in it? Are you kidding? Attaboy, muscle man. Here goes. All right. What you want me to do? Now look, you just walk out like you're on your way to a jam session. Once I get past Quade and his artillery, I'm all right. Okay. Now watch, watch your hand. Here goes. How you doing? Cut the lip dribble and get gone before I get blue. The Fiddle Case fits me like a fatal disease, but I squinch down and hold my breath, and I figure maybe we'll make it. Bugsie Boy picks me up like I weigh in at three pounds just as the door opens. All right, Fortune, get your... Hi, Mr. Quaid. Oh, it's you. You was expecting somebody else? I was expecting Fortune. Did he get away? Fortune? Oh, you mean the bass player? You know who I mean, muscle brain, did he get out? Ah, you know me better than that, boss. I got Rocky Fortune right here. Inside the Fiddle Case. So, there I am. Smart? They don't come any smarter than old Rocky Fortune Otto, Jack. It never occurred to me that this hotel might be operating a narcotics dodge and that my pal Bugsy might be in on it. But I'm real tricky, I am, yes siree. I outwit the crook by crawling into a base fiddle case and letting them snap the catch on me. And there I hang like a cured ham, waiting to be boiled in hot fat. What do we do with them, boss? Let me out of here, you punk! Get him out of here. Why don't we just drop him down the air shaft? It'll look like an accident. Don't be a jerk, take him down to the river. Anything you say, boss. Aye, aye, aye, Fortune, shut up! My, my, what a temper this cat has got. Come on, Bugsie, don't waste any... Who's that? Search me. Open up! Who is it? Police. Just a moment. Drop them out the window. Right. Okay, open the door. What's going on here? I'd like to know, Officer. We came in and found this musician knocked out on the floor. Where's Fortune? Fortune? I haven't seen him. Have you, Bugsy? Fortune? Oh, not a hide, nor a hair either. Well, I know he came in here to return the fiddle. He must have left then. Maybe he's in his room. Yeah, yeah. He might have been here, but he left. Come on, Miss, we'll go up to his room. Something wrong, Officer? Yeah, Fortune's wanted as an accessory to murder. Hold it! Oh, no. Rocky, what are you doing out there? I don't believe this, Sergeant, but I just climbed out of a fiddle case. These hoodlums dropped me out of the window onto a fire escape one flight down. What? He's obviously crazy, probably drunk. If I'm crazy, brother, then how about opening that closet door? Because I've had a hallucination that Eve Johnson's body's inside. I'd like to oblige, Fortune, but you see, I've got other plans. Grab him! Hold it, buddy! All right, don't move, either one of you. I'm standing still. Open the closet, Rocky. Had enough for you, Sergeant? Yeah, it'll do for the time being. All right, let's go, you two. Keep an eye on Dreamboat there. Sure will. If he comes to, I'll belt him with a fiddle. Let's go. Phew, boy. Are you all right, Rocky? If I can ever straighten up, I'll be fine. What happened up here? Well, the Sergeant came back when he found out those were blood stains, and I told him the whole story. We came down to look for you, and I guess you know the rest. Uh-huh. You're sure you're all right, Rocky? I'm fine, baby, but I was just thinking. What? What they would have said if that fire escape hadn't have been there. What would they have said? Man, dig that crazy bass fiddle. NBC has presented Frank Sinatra as that footloose, fancy-free, and frequently unemployed young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Tonight's cast included Jack Crouchon, Gene Tatum, Tom Holland, Frank Gerstel, and Barney Phillips. Tonight's script was written by George Lefferts and Andrew C. Love directed. This is Eddie King speaking. Now to tell you about next week's adventure, here's Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune. Did I ever tell you about the Broadway actress who was involved in the murder of a drama critic, and when I asked her for her autograph, she gave it to me, with a 45? Tell you about it next week. See you around. Visit with Deborah McGee and Molly tonight on the NBC Radio Network.