transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:01] And so, a friend of mine had this major breakthrough at this place in India. And so, my wife and I decided to go. We spent an entire month learning, doing exercises, breath work, very specific meditations. And about three weeks into this experience, one of the monks said something, and it was like a switch was flipped in my brain. And even when he said it, I was like, yeah, I already know this, and I understand this. But because all the work that I had done up until that point, because of the set up of this ashram experience, he said it and I heard it totally differently. And this is what he said. He said, David, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. I know that my limiting beliefs, my traumas, my stories, they are what are creating my stress, my anxiety, my overwhelm. I know that. But he said it again. And this time I noticed one small three-letter word that changed the game for me. He said, David, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. All. Not some, but all. Welcome to A Changed Mind, a journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth, and relationships. To open and honest conversations about pressing global issues, such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future, and provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom, inspiring you to create real lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity, and doom and gloom, so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside, you're in the right place. Welcome to A Changed Mind. Hey, real quick before we continue with today's episode, we're growing fast right now, and that means our team is growing too. So right now we have an open opportunity for a senior level customer service manager to come in and help us build out our customer care department from the ground up. So if you have experience creating SOPs, building ticketing systems, knowing your way around to CRM and can bring AI tools into the customer experience, we would love to hear from you. This is a great opportunity for someone who knows how to build a department that takes care of people at the highest level, especially if you want to be a part of an organization that's genuinely changing people's lives. If that's you, check out the link in the show notes in the description here of this episode for more details and apply. Now, back to your regularly scheduled episode. Hey, it's David. Just wrapped up taking 1,500 people through three days of my transformational frameworks, the best of the best and I didn't want you to miss out. So put them all together into this episode. You're going to absolutely love it. Check it out. What is it that you want? Now, during my event, I take attendees through what I call your perfect day visualization. If you could despite time and despite space and despite any limitations, just snap your fingers and create a reality, a life, a business, relationships, a health that you would want. What do you want? I grew up in a family where I was kind of told what I wanted. I don't know if you can relate to this, but it was like, I would say I want this and my mom or my dad would go, you don't want that. You want this instead. Like the decisions for what I desired were made for me. And I find that this is very, very common with a lot of people. The years ago when I first started coaching, I was coaching a professional major league baseball player. He had been in the league for 11 years. He had had an extraordinary success that's really almost unheard of. And he was moving into his final year. And so I was helping him transition out of his lifestyle and career and identity as a major league baseball player into whatever was going to come next. I said, hey, Jamie, what is it that you want? And he paused for a moment. He thought for a moment. And then he started getting emotional. And then he started crying. I mean, this was a man in his late 30s who was in tears simply because I asked him a question, which is, what do you want? And he said, you know what I realized? I've built up this identity where kind of baseball was an obligation. And when you asked me what I want, I don't know what it is that I want. And that makes me feel so broken. He's not broken. I was not broken. You're not broken. It's just that our parents, our social surroundings, our career, our vocation, sort of the world, the system that we're in, it neuters us. It removes us from our capacity to claim what it is that we want. And so many of us in our 30s, our 40s, our 50s, our 60s, we're learning how to redevelop that muscle to get clear on what we want. But one of the beautiful things is that life will give you the clues to what you want because you're very clear on what you don't want. If what you don't want is financial insecurity, then what you want is financial abundance. If what you don't want is to continue to be alone, then what you want is to find a soulmate. If what you don't want is the aches and pains and the chronic inflammation or the autoimmune disease, then what you want is a healthy and vibrant body. If you've been feeling disconnected and lonely and wanting to have a spiritual connection, that feeling of loneliness is what drives you towards a relationship with the higher power of your own understanding. So don't lament if you don't know what you want, because I'm pretty sure you know what you don't want. Whatever the opposite of that is, is what you desire. It was Christmas a couple of years ago, and I ran an online challenge, a big marketing challenge, and man, I put my blood, my sweat, my tears into running this online challenge. I hired a consultant, worked with a friend of mine, applied the best scientific marketing principles, completely redid the webinar, all of the email sequences, all the landing pages, and it wasn't just me, I worked with my team on it. The year before, we sold around 100 units of the product that we were offering, one of my courses during the challenge, and so this year my goal was 250. I'm like, guys, we're going to crush it. Everything I know about marketing, this is now in alignment with best practices. This was right before the Christmas holiday a couple of years ago, we ran this free five-day challenge, and on the fourth day and the fifth day, we opened up the opportunity to enroll in this program. Again, remember, my goal is 250. It was like a $2,000 program. 250 people coming into the program year before, and for the previous few years, we did around 100. So on day four, we open what's called the cart. People can start enrolling in the program. Day five, we wrap up the challenge, and usually by day five, I know how my numbers are. Then there's another 48 hours after we close out this challenge where people can continue to enroll in the program. Monday through Friday and then, boom, Sunday, it's over. So by the end of day Friday, I expected to have around, I don't know, 150 people in the program, and we'd close it out at 250 or more by the end of the weekend. At the end of Friday, there were 18 people who had enrolled in the program. This was devastating for me. I had no explanation for it. I did everything I knew how. I did everything by the book. I've learned to become a very good marketer. It made absolutely no sense to me. In fact, it was literally starting to crack my ego. Because I was really looking for like, what did I do wrong? What could I have done better? By the way, it's a very core pattern of mine. Like, I'm not doing enough. There's something wrong with me. What could I do better? So by the end, by Sunday, when the cart closed, we had about 30 people enrolled in the program. Now get this, in previous years, I had 100 people enrolled in the program. I'm shooting for 250. I've only got 30. And it's really messing with my mind right before the Christmas holiday. So I go downstairs and I'm about to share with my wife, kind of the numbers and where we're at. And I go into the living room and it's Christmas time. And this was the second year with my newborn, my toddler. And so it was really cool. Like, you know, we had sort of those like choo-choo train and Christmas set ups, manger scenes around the Christmas tree, real presents, decorative presents. There's Christmas carols on. My wife and my mother-in-law are like, you know, finalizing, wrapping some presents for some relatives that are coming in. And I come down and I'm sitting in the living room. And all I can think about is what the hell did I do wrong with this challenge? So there's like two realities that are taking place for me right now. One is this reality of Christmas and holiday cheer and the fact that I've had this beautiful new addition to my family and my son and my mother-in-law and my wife have done such an amazing job of setting up the living room when we have family and guests coming in town. And the other is I cannot believe that this marketing campaign failed so miserably. And so I realized in that moment, I had this question, I was like, well, what if I had, and I came up with an arbitrary number, $10 million in the bank? Like I was just saying, enough money where I don't have to worry about anything. If I had $10 million in the bank, how would $10 million David be reacting to this experience of running this online marketing campaign and it not going the way that I would expect it to go and being here in the living room at Christmas with all this going on? And I was like, well, $10 million Dave, meaning a Dave who wasn't worried about not having yet achieved the success that he wanted, a David who felt financially secure, a David who knew that no matter what happened, he was going to achieve the bigger vision and the outcomes that he had in his life. What he would be doing right now is telling his wife and his mother-in-law what an amazing job they did with all the Christmas decorations. What he would be doing right now is playing choo-choo train with his son. What he would be doing right now is singing Christmas carols with his family. So I realized the future version of myself would be doing something completely different than the version of myself that I was being right there, right then, in that moment. And I realized it dawned on me that the way to actually become $10 million David, is not to figure out what I did wrong with this online marketing challenge and figure out how to fix it. It's to start being $10 million David now. And if I can start being $10 million David now, 100 percent I am destined to produce the goals and the vision that I have. And this just makes sense. When I was in my drug and alcohol and sex addiction recovery, when I was acting like an addict and an alcoholic, the result that I got was addiction and alcoholism. Why? Because I was thinking, feeling and doing like an addict. And if I wanted to gain recovery, if I wanted to be someone who recovered in my life and was not addicted to drugs and alcohol and pornography and all the stuff, I needed to start acting like a sober person. And so that's what I did. Through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I got into a program where I started acting like a person who was sober and given enough time, I became sober. I mean, I want you to think about this for a moment. If you started acting like a millionaire on a consistent basis, meaning thinking like a millionaire, feeling like a millionaire, and doing the things a millionaire would do. I'm not saying spending the money a millionaire has, but doing all the other things a millionaire would do. Wouldn't it just be a matter of fact and a matter of time before you became a millionaire? So this is the key to identity shifting. And people talk about it as if it's a metaphysical concept or spiritual concept. And it is this idea of identity shifting. You can find the Rosicrucians, you can find Hermetic Principles, all the ancient wisdom stuff that talks about identity shifting. Even in the 33 levels of the Masonic Lodge, rituals and strategies for human development, it's all there. But it's also just basic behavioral psychology and neuroscience. So your brain will produce any outcome, but it's going to be based off of what you believe. So again, if you believe that money is scarce, even though you want to be a millionaire, your brain is going to achieve that financial scarcity. See, your brain is a goal-achieving machine and it's programmed by what you believe. Your brain is the most extraordinary creative technology in the history of the universe. It allows you to create something from nothing. This is like magic. We are magical creatures that are able to materialize and literally sculpt and shape reality according to our will. But the question is, what's your will? What is it that you believe? You know, this is not, again, woo-woo. On one level, the idea that your beliefs create your reality is established by behavioral psychology. Behavioral psychology basically says that what you believe determines what you think on a moment-by-moment basis. And so, if what you believe or learned when you were a child was that you can't trust people, you'll constantly be evaluating life through thoughts of mistrust, of betrayal. You'll be actually looking for evidence for the fact that people cannot be trusted, and you'll ignore all evidence that supports the idea that people can be trusted. What you believe you think and what you think you feel. That's really what emotions are. There's some exceptions, and I won't go too deep into it right now, but your thoughts create emotions. So, when you're thinking to yourself, I don't have enough time, the emotion you feel is overwhelmed. When you think to yourself, you know, might make a mistake, the emotion that you feel would be hesitation or timidness. So, every time you have a thought, you experience an emotion. Your beliefs create your thoughts, your thoughts create your emotions, your emotions determine your action, what you do or what you do not do, and your actions over time determine your results. And so, this is a very simple cause and effect. Beliefs produce thoughts, thoughts produce emotions, emotions produce actions, actions produce results. If there's a result that you want, all we need to do is make sure the belief is aligned with the outcome, and 100% of the time, you will produce the result. I love one of the stories that Napoleon Hill talks about. It's not in Thinking Grow Rich. I think it's in Maybe Outwitting The Devil or Another Book, where we find out that his son was actually born without, I guess it was ear drums, like his son's ears weren't fully formed, so he couldn't hear. But Napoleon and his wife instilled into his son the belief that he would hear someday. And so, when he was like 11 years old, they found him, they had a record player in the corner of their room, and the music was playing. Of course, the son couldn't hear it, but one day they found their son biting on the table, where the record player was because he could then feel the vibration. He could hear the music. And his life continued to evolve. And at some point in his early 20s, he actually got a job as a sales person for one of the earlier Cochlear Implant Technology companies, as one of the first people who ever had a hearing aid. So, no matter how impossible it may seem, whatever you believe you can create, but we have to be conscious of what you believe is what you believe in alignment with what you want. So again, it's this idea that your brain is a goal-achieving machine, and whatever the input is, which is the belief, the output will become your reality through the mechanism of the human being operating system. How beliefs become thoughts, thoughts create emotions, emotions determine or drive action, and action over time produces results. What's so interesting about this is the results will always reinforce 100 percent of the time the belief. So, if you believe in prosperity and abundance, you'll make money and you'll go see, the world is prosperous and abundant. If you believe that money is hard to make, you might make money, but you'll actually look at the journey of you're making money. The result, man, I worked really hard. I was able to make some money, but that almost killed me. The conclusion you'll come to is, I had to work really hard to make money. So, it's always a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is what's called a psycho-cybernetic loop. So, the challenge that we have is that we get stuck with the same results, and then we try to change the action. But the action is a byproduct of our emotions, which is a byproduct of our thoughts, which is a byproduct of our beliefs. So, if we actually want to change the result, we have to change the belief that created the result in the first place. Another way of looking at this is like, if we could just program your brain like a billionaire, 100 percent you'd become a billionaire. Like if we could just install thoughts, remove all of the thoughts or the beliefs that you have that are not in alignment with how a billionaire would think or believe, and install all billionaire beliefs into your brain, 100 percent guaranteed you'd become a billionaire. If we program your brain like a sick person, 100 percent you'll become a sick person. I was programmed to believe that there was something wrong with me, and so that became my reality. I would work on my business and not produce the results that I wanted, and the conclusion that I would come to as I was observing the results that I produced was there's something wrong with me. As I got into my 30s and 40s, I've shared this on other episodes, I got really, really sick. You know what my reaction to my experience of unwellness was? I would say this to myself in my own head, there's something wrong with me. No matter what doctors I saw, what protocols are applied, I could never get well, even though I was seeing the best people in the world because at a root cause level, I fundamentally believe there was something wrong with me, and so my reality had to reflect that back to me. In this case, it was reflecting it back to me in the form of my physical body. Now, I'm much healthier than I was even a year ago, certainly two years, three years ago. The reason for that is I shifted my beliefs. Now, you'd look at how I got well and you'd say, but Dave, you changed your supplementation, Dave, you discovered this specific coach or a wellness practitioner that helped you. Yes, but all those things were a by-product of me shifting my beliefs, because my brain is a goal-achieving machine. That's what caused me once I shifted my beliefs to have different thoughts, to look up different people. It created coincidences and synchronicities where I was able to actually connect with life and life helped me produce these results. A little over 10 years ago, I dragged my wife to India. I was in so much pain and suffering. I had done all the personal growth events, the Tony Robbins events, the Brendan Burchard events, the Landmark series. I had read all the books, Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, and Neville Goddard, but I still felt stuck. A friend of mine had this major breakthrough at this place in India. My wife and I decided to go. We spent an entire month learning, doing exercises, breath work, very specific meditations. About three weeks into this experience, one of the monks said something. It was like a switch was flipped in my brain. Even when he said it, I was like, yeah, I already know this and I understand this. Because all the work that I had done up until that point because of the setup of this ashram experience, he said it and I heard it totally differently. This is what he said. He said, David, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. I was like, yeah, that makes sense. I know that my limiting beliefs, my traumas, my stories, they are what are creating my stress, my anxiety, my overwhelm. I know that, but he said it again. And this time I noticed one small three letter word that changed the game for me. He said, David, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. All, not some, but all. And I thought about it for a moment. I was like, wait a minute. If all suffering is a result of my own thinking, that means that no suffering is a result of anything else. Like, I figured a lot of my suffering was from my own thinking. But some suffering was from, say, my wife arguing with me, or my employees not doing something, or the amount of money I had in my bank account, a marketing campaign not going well. But he said all suffering was a result of my own thinking. And so I looked at that and I was like, oh my God, he's right. It's not your health that is a problem. Even though you may be experiencing some pain or a chronic health condition, it's the thought that your health won't ever get better. It is not the amount of money that is causing you suffering, no matter how much money you do or do not have in your bank account. It is the belief that you don't have enough or that you'll never have enough. It's not that my wife said something that I don't like, that was causing my suffering. It seems like it. Well, if she just had said that, I wouldn't be in suffering. It's actually the belief that she shouldn't have said it that is making me upset. I want you guys to check in with me on this for a second. All suffering is a result of our own thinking. So I took this distinction with me and did my best to really take full radical responsibility of my life and my emotions. Even when I couldn't see it, I had this distinction in my back pocket. Hold on a minute. What's really causing me to be upset right now is me. It's not the thing out there. It's the meaning that I'm giving that thing out there. That anytime I'm feeling a certain way, it's not because of the thing I think is causing me stress or anger or worry. It's my thinking. You're tracking with me? If you look at all of your suffering, all of your suffering, the stress, the anxiety, the overwhelm, the anger, the not feeling like you're good enough, the depression, the anxiety, all of your suffering is a resistance to what is in the present moment. All of your suffering is a resistance to what ever is happening in your life right now. It is a denial of your current situation. Now, we teach that there are two states of being, primal states of being and powerful states of being. These map perfectly to the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. When you're entangled with the limiting belief, you move into a primal state, states that don't feel good like stress, anxiety, doubt, fear, and anger. But this is a signal that the mind has created too much velocity, and you have to downregulate in order to get back into a powerful state, and to get back into non-resistance. This is hands down the most powerful practice that I've ever used to transform my limiting beliefs. It's not a meditation where you go sit in the corner and you close your eyes. It's a living meditation in the sense that it is a practice that you can engage with at any moment in time throughout the day. It works like this. Step one is notice when you've moved into a primal state. Just notice that you don't feel good. This is very easy. You don't have to do anything. Just notice, oh, I've moved into some form of stress, anxiety, overwhelm, or fear. That's step one. Step two, observe the thinking that's taking place in that moment. Just notice what you're thinking. I'm thinking that I'm not enough. I'm thinking this is never going to work out. I'm thinking that I'm going to do it wrong. That's step two. Notice the thinking. Step three, in that moment, acknowledge the fact that if that's what you're thinking and it doesn't feel good, it's not true. This is one of the biggest discoveries we made over the years after 10,000 coaching conversations with clients. One hundred percent of the time they were thinking something that didn't feel good, it wasn't true. It was a limiting belief. So acknowledge that whatever it is that you're thinking, if it doesn't feel good, it's not true. And step four is simply say to yourself, that's not true. I know that if it doesn't feel good, whatever I'm telling myself is not true. It's not in alignment with the path that I'm on. It's not God's will for me. It's not true. And that's why it doesn't feel good. It's a thought that's creating dissonant energy in my nervous system. And my system is telling me that it's not true. It's not true that I'm not doing enough. It's not true that I need to be perfect or I'll make a mistake. It's not true that this situation that I don't like is never going to change. If it doesn't feel good, it's not true. Now, you don't even need to know what's true. What's true will become obvious to you if you're no longer affirming the limiting belief in your head. If you can just let go of it for a few hours, a few days, the what's true will actually show up. The solution will show up and the path will unfold. So that's step number five. We got to slow down. Now, I also have some practical tools for when I'm working and I've noticed I've sped up whenever I've got a short break, I'll sit down and do five to ten minutes of a really simple HRV breath, where I do a five and a half second inhale through my nose, five and a half second exhale through my nose, downregulates my nervous system. Or I'll go catch a really hard workout that'll rebalance my nervous system, or I'll get a really hot sauna, or even just go outside for a couple of minutes in the sunshine and walk and ground in the grass. The goal is to reset my nervous system so that I can get back into doing from a proper place of being, from a powerful state, and from a heart-centered place. The reason why this matters is the mind will attempt to create velocity, and that creates an inefficiency in what you're actually trying to accomplish. Exercise the demons. This is the way that we become spiritually stronger. The inner demons are there to make you stronger, to help you build emotional, psychological, spiritual resilience. It's like going to the gym. You go and you lift the weights. It's resistance. But the more reps you do, the stronger you become. So there's nothing wrong with you if you're having negative fear-based thoughts. There's nothing wrong with you if they're materializing into the experiences of your life. You can transform your reality by changing the way that you think. And the way that we do that is we get into the spiritual gym. That's what this external reality is doing for us right now. There's a beautiful quote in scripture. It's in Romans, be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. You don't have to stick with the fear-based reality that you've created. You can transform your own personal reality by changing the way that you think, building spiritual muscle. And man, I don't think there's any better game to play. I don't think there's any better game to play and we now know how to play it. The crazy thing is this thing called personal growth. Who would have ever thought that personal growth or mindset was actually the key to unlocking everything that you want in your life, to dissolving your problems, to stepping into your full potential. And as we do it individually, changing our lives and as we do it collectively, transforming the world. I mean, the first personal development seminar I went to, I never thought, oh, this is the technology that's going to change the world. Guess what? It's not AI. It's not artificial intelligence. It's actual intelligence. And so this is the game that we're invited to play. All the chaos you see out there is just reflective of the chaos we hold inside of ourselves. As we learn to manage ourselves more effectively, the chaos must organize into order. It must organize into order. And you have the opportunity to do that, not by trying to manipulate your external circumstances, but by managing your inner world. So man, I hope this episode has been helpful for you. I really enjoyed sharing it with you. If you've got questions or comments you're following along on YouTube, drop them in the comment box. If you haven't yet, whether you're listening on audio or on the YouTube platform, subscribe. We love that. Thank you so much. That's like our free payment for me and my team. Thank you. If you think someone needs to hear this episode, pay it forward and share it with them. This is not a do-it-yourself project. This is something that we do together. If you want to be a part of our community, jump on over to davidbayer.com, subscribe to our newsletter. You're going to get immediately a four-part video series that goes even deeper on the technology that's going to allow you to be unshakable and immovable in your life. If you feel so inspired, go a little bit deeper with one of our flagship programs. I love you so much. Thank you for being here with me today, and I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David, One More Thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.davidbayer.com. You can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week, I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mindhack eBook, and go even deeper into all the tools, the technology, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish A Changed Mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site, and I will see you in the next episode.