transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:02] RUNK!
Speaker 2:
[00:04] HAHAHAHA!
Speaker 3:
[00:06] Hey guys, welcome to 502, the 502nd episode of Congratulations.
Speaker 4:
[00:35] Here we are, babies, and we are off and running.
Speaker 5:
[00:38] Thanks to Legends Social Casino and Sportsbook for sponsoring this episode, Prish.
Speaker 4:
[00:43] Um, and, uh, it's, it's, it's four, well, right now we're recording on, it's 420.
Speaker 3:
[00:49] So we're recording on...
Speaker 5:
[00:51] 420.
Speaker 3:
[00:53] So we're recording on that...
Speaker 5:
[00:56] Um, and if you're smoking that Sticky Icky, or if you were smoking that Sticky Icky a few days ago, on 420, this is for you.
Speaker 6:
[01:04] If you were smoking the chocolate tie, this is for you. If you were smoking that, the, uh, the, the Derple, this is for you, dude.
Speaker 4:
[01:14] Uh, you know, I hope it was green and I hope it was good.
Speaker 5:
[01:17] I don't know anything about, I have no, I know nothing about weed. Legitimately, I know nothing about weed. All I know is I've been coughing a lot lately because I have a chest thing. So it's kind of like I smoke weed.
Speaker 3:
[01:27] It's kind of like I smoked that chocolate tie, chocolate tie.
Speaker 4:
[01:35] But yeah, so, uh, you know, I trim the beard nice.
Speaker 5:
[01:40] Well, not nice, but I trim the stubble, you know, to make it a little bit more presentable.
Speaker 3:
[01:45] I'm getting gray.
Speaker 5:
[01:46] I get a little bit of grays on my head, which is cool. I need, I need some more grays on my head.
Speaker 3:
[01:50] Um, I've never had work done.
Speaker 5:
[01:53] And I, and I, and I'm, and I'm thinking about that now because I've started to, not thinking about actually doing it, but I'm thinking about the people who are my age or in their forties that do get work done. Um, and they all pretty much look terrible.
Speaker 6:
[02:09] They all pretty much look bad.
Speaker 1:
[02:12] Men, men.
Speaker 5:
[02:13] And, uh, although I think Leo got some work done and he kind of looks amazing.
Speaker 6:
[02:18] So it does work.
Speaker 5:
[02:19] That's the thing.
Speaker 3:
[02:20] That's the thing about the work is that the doctors, sometimes they have cases where they go this.
Speaker 5:
[02:29] All you need is one is a plastic surgeon, surgery surgeon.
Speaker 4:
[02:34] All you need is one because you.
Speaker 5:
[02:38] What the frink was that? I don't know. My computer just made a noise.
Speaker 4:
[02:42] But all you need is one.
Speaker 5:
[02:43] And then you can, especially if it's famous, you could just be like, that's my guy. No, no, no. Hippo laws.
Speaker 4:
[02:50] Yeah, no, I didn't.
Speaker 3:
[02:51] I definitely didn't. If you're asking me if I've done work on Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm not at liberty to discuss that.
Speaker 5:
[03:01] Do you want to ask me about any other celebrities? Yeah, sure. Ben Affleck.
Speaker 3:
[03:05] No, I didn't.
Speaker 5:
[03:06] Okay, Matt Damon. No, I didn't.
Speaker 3:
[03:08] Robert Loja. No, I didn't. Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm not at liberty to discuss that. That's how you get out of that one.
Speaker 5:
[03:15] And then you know that he worked on Leonardo DiCaprio, and that's your calling card. And you go, this is what I want to look like. I want to look like that new Leo meme in the Oscars, because he looks great, dude.
Speaker 3:
[03:28] I think he's slowly morphing into Jack Nicholson, but he looks great.
Speaker 5:
[03:31] And that's all you need is that one. And you can even mess up all the other faces.
Speaker 4:
[03:36] As long as you have that one to point to, people go, that's why Vegas is so great.
Speaker 6:
[03:43] They keep making money because Black Jack, you lose, you keep losing, but there's that, there's that, maybe I'll, Black Jack, don't hit on it.
Speaker 5:
[03:56] Don't, I mean, you don't hit on, you know, you don't hit on 20. But if the dealer has a 20 and there are no aces and there hasn't been an ace in a while, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 7:
[04:07] That's what that is.
Speaker 5:
[04:09] All you need is one. So, that's it and stay, you know, so yeah. So it's 420.
Speaker 7:
[04:19] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[04:20] And, you know, by the way, I've always thought there's nothing looks worse than hitting from a bomb. You know, get a spliff or whatever. Don't know anything about weed.
Speaker 8:
[04:34] Get a roach, handle it like a man.
Speaker 5:
[04:38] I know nothing about it.
Speaker 8:
[04:40] Snort it.
Speaker 5:
[04:42] No, I know you don't snort it, but like just this, you know, inject it into your veins. No, I know you don't do that. There was like a few years in my life where I, when people would have brownies at the house or at whatever house or gathering, I'd be like, there's no pot in this one though, right? And I would like make sure it was like a thing that you would ruminate in my head because I have OCD. I'd be like, but there's no pot in this one and you're sure that this one has no pot. Have you ever made pot with brownies? Have you ever made brownies with pot in it? Yeah? But in the last two years? No? Okay, I'm going to have one of these brownies. I don't want to get them mixed up. How long have these been around and you're sure these are the ones you made? This is your Tupperware? Anyway, that's just me, dude. That's just me, au naturel.
Speaker 7:
[05:31] Coachella is over.
Speaker 8:
[05:34] You know what? You know what?
Speaker 5:
[05:35] I constantly think during the month of April and May with the stage coach and Coachella, I think, man, Coachella wasn't a thing like however many years ago, right? I don't even know when it started to you.
Speaker 1:
[05:55] Is that what you're looking up right now?
Speaker 5:
[05:57] It's like 2009 or some sh- I was 10 years old.
Speaker 3:
[06:03] But, you know, it wasn't obviously big in 1999. It had like the fucking, you know, the cramps and sonic youth.
Speaker 5:
[06:11] I don't know.
Speaker 7:
[06:12] What does it be?
Speaker 5:
[06:13] Oh, Rage Against the Machine.
Speaker 3:
[06:15] Okay.
Speaker 6:
[06:15] Well, never mind.
Speaker 5:
[06:18] What's the cramps?
Speaker 7:
[06:19] I know nothing.
Speaker 9:
[06:21] Um, yeah, so Coachella, well, so that's cool, actually, back then, to go see that.
Speaker 3:
[06:31] In the desert, you're like, oh, let's go see who? Rage Against the Machine.
Speaker 7:
[06:36] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[06:36] Oh, that's awesome. Let's go out in the middle of the desert and feel like we're fighting the system, even though this is part of the system. And Rage Against the Machine will sing against the system, even though technically everything's part of the system, no matter what. Right? It's not like you're going in the middle of the desert to see Ted Kaczynski. You're not doing that.
Speaker 10:
[06:57] Let's go see him make a bomb.
Speaker 7:
[06:58] Let's go.
Speaker 3:
[06:58] Let's go to the bomb festival.
Speaker 7:
[07:00] Let's go to fire festival.
Speaker 3:
[07:02] Literal fire.
Speaker 5:
[07:04] Oh, did the log cabin only five people can watch at once. That's not really funny.
Speaker 3:
[07:13] But, you know, we say it all.
Speaker 6:
[07:16] And so that was cool.
Speaker 10:
[07:20] But now the fact that, you know, it's everything has become.
Speaker 5:
[07:24] It's the onlinification of it all.
Speaker 6:
[07:27] It's the onlinification of it all.
Speaker 10:
[07:29] Because, because it's like, what do they call it?
Speaker 6:
[07:34] The cringe, what's the inflation?
Speaker 11:
[07:40] Cringe inflation. That's what it, it's like, it's like everything has become embarrassing.
Speaker 6:
[07:49] Oh, no?
Speaker 11:
[07:51] Oh, really?
Speaker 9:
[07:51] Music festivals.
Speaker 5:
[07:52] Oh, I got you there, didn't I?
Speaker 9:
[07:55] Hey, did I? Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 12:
[07:57] Oh, being into opening playing cards. Oh, got you right there, didn't I?
Speaker 11:
[08:04] Didn't I? Having a podcast, whoops, gotcha. Didn't I?
Speaker 13:
[08:11] How about this?
Speaker 2:
[08:12] Basketball, whoops, gotcha.
Speaker 11:
[08:16] Oh, you want to see those lanky motherfuckers walking around in those stupid outfits down the hallway before they play?
Speaker 13:
[08:21] Nope, play.
Speaker 11:
[08:23] Just play.
Speaker 12:
[08:27] You dookie brains.
Speaker 11:
[08:29] It's just, it's just everything is this cringe, this inflation of cringe where it's like, remember the things you, you, I saw a video scrolling my feet.
Speaker 5:
[08:39] I saw this hot model just walking down the street, like a hot model and then legitimately ate shit, fell into like a grate a little bit on the street and the, and the got up and like fixed her heel and kept walking and it had millions of views.
Speaker 11:
[08:55] And it was like, that's the outtake. You just want, so it's like everything. Remember when you would fall down and you go, Oh, fuck.
Speaker 4:
[09:11] Oh, thank God.
Speaker 11:
[09:11] It's no, thank God.
Speaker 12:
[09:12] It's not anywhere where people are.
Speaker 4:
[09:14] And now it's like, I fell.
Speaker 12:
[09:16] Who got it on camera?
Speaker 4:
[09:19] Put it up.
Speaker 8:
[09:23] Anyway, it's the inflation, the cringe inflation.
Speaker 5:
[09:28] But the onlineification of it all fucked it all up. So anyway, and now we're, and now, and now, and now, and now I got to, I got to live in the time.
Speaker 8:
[09:38] You know what I mean?
Speaker 4:
[09:39] Where I have to see these idiots and I don't want to be negative, dude.
Speaker 12:
[09:45] Make me not be negative.
Speaker 13:
[09:47] Help me. Help me help. Help me help you.
Speaker 7:
[09:52] What's that?
Speaker 11:
[09:52] Is that Jerry Maguire? Is it that one?
Speaker 12:
[09:56] Like dude, work with me.
Speaker 7:
[09:58] That's what it is.
Speaker 5:
[10:00] Work with me. That's more what it is. Work with me.
Speaker 11:
[10:04] You don't want me to be negative? Stop traipsing around in the desert, listening to fucking Neo.
Speaker 6:
[10:20] You know, or Don Tolliver, that's the one.
Speaker 5:
[10:24] There's always a new guy that I've never heard a song from.
Speaker 14:
[10:28] That is the biggest guy.
Speaker 5:
[10:31] And they go, they go, and every time I say, oh, I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2:
[10:34] This has happened every few years.
Speaker 5:
[10:36] I go, oh, I don't know who that is. And they go, oh, really? He has a ton of songs. I'm sure you've heard one. And I go, and I always say, I don't think so. And then they say, oh, they play one. And they go, this one? And I always say, I've never heard that song.
Speaker 6:
[10:54] And that's, and by the way, now, usually when people are talking like this, they mean, yeah, I don't listen to that corny shit.
Speaker 4:
[11:01] I don't, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 2:
[11:03] It's probably good.
Speaker 9:
[11:05] I'm, I'm out of it. Okay?
Speaker 12:
[11:13] Normalize being out of it.
Speaker 3:
[11:16] I don't, I don't know these guys.
Speaker 6:
[11:18] Like when people, like every time I see online comments, sometimes on Instagram, they'd be like, bro, who are you?
Speaker 4:
[11:23] If I'm making fun of somebody, you know, and I'm like, oh, dude, you, you're, you don't know me.
Speaker 11:
[11:29] That's on you.
Speaker 12:
[11:30] I'm cool.
Speaker 11:
[11:32] So like, you know, that music is great.
Speaker 6:
[11:35] Fine. I don't know.
Speaker 5:
[11:36] I never heard it.
Speaker 6:
[11:38] And that's a knock on me, even though I don't care, you know?
Speaker 4:
[11:41] But that's my point.
Speaker 5:
[11:42] Normalize that shit.
Speaker 4:
[11:43] And I hate when people say normalize, but if you can normalize something, normalize whatever I said, being out of it.
Speaker 5:
[11:50] I don't remember.
Speaker 9:
[11:51] I don't remember anything, dude. I remember nothing. I got home on Sunday.
Speaker 4:
[11:55] Bro, my mind, you know what?
Speaker 5:
[11:57] I am fully a reptile. My mind is just like, I forget everything.
Speaker 3:
[12:03] And then a cool blue car will drive by and I'll go, oh, cool.
Speaker 5:
[12:09] That's like my life. It used to be chicks and now it's just, oh, look at those shoes that that guy has.
Speaker 7:
[12:21] Oh, that's a cool coffee place. What's it called?
Speaker 3:
[12:24] Let's go.
Speaker 7:
[12:25] Fuck it.
Speaker 3:
[12:26] What else are we going to do in Cincinnati?
Speaker 5:
[12:28] And then I forget it all. Like, dude, Sunday night, I got home, I was exhausted. I went to Sacramento. Every time I say Sacramento, I think, Sacramento, where you at? The Dr. Dre song, California Love with Tupac. Every single time, I had to fight myself to not say, Sacramento, where you at? On stage in Sacramento, where you at? And I did it. I won. I didn't do it. I didn't do it, meaning I got through it is what I'm saying without saying Sacramento, where you at? Anyway. San Diego, then I did San Diego. By the way, let me just, and I'll talk about how I forget things. I'll get back to it. I think, I don't know, maybe I'll forget. But right now, what I'm saying, I go into tangents. This is very stream of consciousnesses podcast. And Sacramento, I mean, I know you know this, right? But what I'm saying, but Sacramento, I did Sacramento.
Speaker 1:
[13:18] And let me just say something about Sacramento.
Speaker 2:
[13:21] Guys, now I actually, I really like performing in Sacramento.
Speaker 12:
[13:28] I'm a professional comedian.
Speaker 5:
[13:29] I've been doing this over 20 years.
Speaker 9:
[13:31] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[13:33] I know how to handle it, right?
Speaker 5:
[13:35] Whatever it is in the audience, I know how to handle it.
Speaker 9:
[13:38] Okay. Sacramento.
Speaker 5:
[13:40] Now look, now all you need are really honestly, three trash people in an audience to make the audience trash.
Speaker 9:
[13:48] Right?
Speaker 11:
[13:50] Sacramento always shows up with at least 11. They just are too drunk or they're like laughing like a dick. Like they're trying to laugh too loud or they just like, they'll ask you a question like you're on the phone and that's fine.
Speaker 5:
[14:08] I know what I'm going to get in Sacramento and I roll with it.
Speaker 11:
[14:12] And I love performing there because, you know, I know what I'm going to get and all that shit.
Speaker 4:
[14:16] But sometimes I'm at these places and I'm like, dude, what happens when Seinfeld comes here?
Speaker 3:
[14:23] Why are you guys fucking assholes?
Speaker 5:
[14:27] What happens when Mark Norman is in Sacramento? It's like, you know, not that they can't roll with it, they can roll with it, but it's like, they're like classic comedians that do set up punchline joke.
Speaker 3:
[14:41] And it's like, I don't, I don't, they probably are literally like, fuck Sacramento.
Speaker 14:
[14:50] They always have 11 trash people.
Speaker 4:
[14:57] Chest stuff still in there, good dude.
Speaker 5:
[15:01] But then I went to San Diego, San Diego, you know, you never know what you're going to get, but it was great. I don't know what's up with San Diego, but I feel like maybe it's a little bit less homeless. Did I go on a good weekend or something? Because last time, not this time, I was in San Diego, but the time before that was in San Diego, is the Walking Dead. And that's, you know, the second the sun goes down, is the Walking Dead. And that's okay. Cleaning it up, getting a new mayor, whatever it is, but it's apocalypse, right?
Speaker 7:
[15:38] It's apocalypse.
Speaker 5:
[15:38] So as soon as the sun goes down in San Diego, it's the Walking Dead. And that's fine, but that's what it is.
Speaker 7:
[15:46] It's apocalypse. It's apocalypse. Okay.
Speaker 6:
[15:49] Hey, do you want to go get, hey, are you hungry? Hey, are you hungry in downtown San Diego?
Speaker 7:
[16:01] It's too bad.
Speaker 5:
[16:02] You better have some shit in your fridge. You know why?
Speaker 7:
[16:06] It's the Walking Dead.
Speaker 9:
[16:08] Outside, it's fine, but outside, it's the apocalypse. Okay.
Speaker 4:
[16:15] You want to go get a slice and it's six and it's 8 p.m. on in the summer or 630 p.m. in the winter.
Speaker 2:
[16:24] It's the Walking Dead and that's okay, but it's the apocalypse.
Speaker 5:
[16:32] But it seemed a little bit less like that this time and I was, I don't know why. I mean, there was a homeless guy that challenged me to do pushups, but I didn't do it because I feel like they'd win. My protein is probably better, but honestly, they got more time to practice and they also have that gene probably that they're like, fuck everything, I will never stop. And I kind of have that about certain things, but definitely not pushups. So I forget everything is what I was trying to say.
Speaker 4:
[17:04] And I didn't forget that, did I? But I do, especially Sundays.
Speaker 5:
[17:09] If you want me to remember some, oh no, no, no, here's what it is. If you want to tell me a secret, tell me on Sunday.
Speaker 4:
[17:18] Okay? Tell me on Sunday.
Speaker 5:
[17:20] I'm dead serious. Because Monday, what did you say? Come Monday, huh?
Speaker 11:
[17:33] You tell me something on Wednesday, I'm raring.
Speaker 5:
[17:36] You tell me something on Tuesday, I'm really raring. That's what I'm probably most raring.
Speaker 4:
[17:42] But when you tell me something on Sunday, on Monday, what did you say?
Speaker 15:
[17:51] Dude, I don't remember.
Speaker 10:
[17:53] The week is over.
Speaker 5:
[17:55] And who said the week starts on Sunday?
Speaker 4:
[17:57] Fuck you.
Speaker 5:
[17:57] The week starts on Monday.
Speaker 6:
[17:59] Whoever fucking started that shit where it's like Sunday to Sunday, dude, that's still the weekend.
Speaker 11:
[18:04] I want both days of the weekend to be at the end of the weekend so I can enjoy the weekend as much as possible. I want to start the week with a day off.
Speaker 4:
[18:14] Fuck you.
Speaker 11:
[18:15] But if you want to tell me a secret, tell me on Sunday because on Monday, what did you say?
Speaker 10:
[18:24] Because I'm spent.
Speaker 11:
[18:26] I take so many flights, dude. Somebody will tell me something in Cincinnati and buy Columbus.
Speaker 5:
[18:33] What did you say? Dude, I don't know where I am anymore, what you said or what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 8:
[18:44] And come Sunday, talk about Walking Dead.
Speaker 5:
[18:47] That's what I am. I'm just, but not eating people just with the channel changer. And I'm flipping through Netflix. And I also have a book open that I'm that I've been half read through for about three months that they made a movie of. And I'm trying to get through it so I could still see it in the theaters, even though it's been out of the theaters for two months already.
Speaker 12:
[19:41] Just with yogurt and fucking a little bit, one teaspoon of honey in it to control the carbs.
Speaker 5:
[19:51] And then Monday, I wake up and I say, what did I do yesterday?
Speaker 10:
[19:56] Dude, tell me something.
Speaker 6:
[19:58] If you want to tell me, if you're the government and you need to get something off your chest, and you need to expose some stuff, but you don't want people to get, you don't want it to get out there, dude, come to me Sunday. Come to me Sunday. And, you know, some people would be like, Chris, you're not fucking talking about anything, but I am.
Speaker 8:
[20:24] I am streamlining what podcasts should be.
Speaker 5:
[20:27] I am being very specific, you stupid bitches, because, dude, all these podcasts with the interviews of the person, oh, look who we got here now.
Speaker 12:
[20:36] Oh, we got this person showing up to my house. Somebody from fucking Fleetwood Mac to my house.
Speaker 15:
[20:45] Dude, what are you talking about?
Speaker 12:
[20:50] Open your mouth.
Speaker 14:
[20:51] I got to back into it.
Speaker 11:
[20:53] Dude, oh yeah, no, dude, show up at my house. Leanne Rimes, dude, open your mouth.
Speaker 3:
[21:02] Let me back into it, dude.
Speaker 13:
[21:04] My asshole needs a cleaning because that's insane.
Speaker 11:
[21:13] That's insane.
Speaker 4:
[21:14] Oh, oh, you know what, actually, I have, you know, I'd love for you to come do my podcast on Tuesday, but I can't.
Speaker 3:
[21:21] Gene Triple Horn is coming over.
Speaker 14:
[21:24] Oh, dude, back into it.
Speaker 5:
[21:28] This is insane, dude.
Speaker 11:
[21:30] I cannot fucking believe.
Speaker 3:
[21:33] I just can't believe it. This podcast culture. I can't fucking believe it.
Speaker 5:
[21:36] I cannot.
Speaker 8:
[21:37] But whatever it is, what it is.
Speaker 5:
[21:38] This is what I'm saying. The over the the the the the onlinification of everything, dude. Anyway, so I'm just saying. This is what podcasts should be, and I fucking stand by it, dude. And our audience goes up and down and up and down and up and down and down and then down and down and up and down down down. But dude, this is it, man. I'm done.
Speaker 7:
[22:02] I'm done with that.
Speaker 5:
[22:03] I'm done with saying anything about that.
Speaker 7:
[22:04] But that's what I should have been.
Speaker 5:
[22:08] A priest, a priest only on Sundays. Like I could also be not a priest after Sundays, like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I could go out and like bitches or whatever. But like Sunday is the day where I would sit behind the fucking grate and people would just be like, I did this, I did this, I did this. I'd be like, okay, say fucking some Hail Marys and then, I don't, honestly, you're going to have to remind me who you are when you come back next time.
Speaker 7:
[22:36] But thank you very much. Leave, is there, there's a tip jar outside of there. Or whatever the donation plate. I'm sorry, I said tip jar.
Speaker 5:
[22:43] I know it doesn't go directly to me, but anyway. So yeah, and I realize a lot of people love this podcast because you tell me and you say, don't stop the podcast. And I go, okay, but for fucking how long?
Speaker 9:
[23:04] How long do I have to do this?
Speaker 7:
[23:07] Whatever, come see me live.
Speaker 9:
[23:11] I do, I go chrisdeleia.com.
Speaker 5:
[23:13] I got a bunch of tickets going, a bunch of cities.
Speaker 4:
[23:15] I'm going to put up a bunch of got Miami.
Speaker 5:
[23:18] I got, you know, what are they? Where am I even at now? Chicago, I don't know, Fort Wayne this weekend, which I forgot to put on my fucking website to last week. You know, my web guys, I gotta, you know, it's like, dude, they didn't put it on. So I don't even know. So I'm announcing here now. I'm in Fort Wayne this week.
Speaker 2:
[23:41] So come, what's Fort Wayne?
Speaker 5:
[23:44] You know, for a town to even have Fort in front of it at this point is just absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 7:
[23:52] It's absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 6:
[23:53] Nah, it's not a Fort.
Speaker 5:
[23:55] It's not a Fort if there's a Talbot in it.
Speaker 11:
[23:58] You know, you can't call it Fort if you have a fucking cupcake shop in it and a Talbot's dude.
Speaker 5:
[24:10] What is that? Women's clothes? The fucking what is Talbot's dude? Talbot's sounds like a fucking children's show. That was around in 1987.
Speaker 8:
[24:22] Talbot's on after.
Speaker 5:
[24:30] But that's what I'm trying to say, I guess, is all what I was trying to say.
Speaker 4:
[24:38] I'm feeling a little bit better.
Speaker 5:
[24:39] I went to the gym and I hit some personal records and that's great. I don't wanna talk about it, but people at the gym noticed and they were just saying, I was going hard, bro. Anyway, we don't have to talk about that.
Speaker 11:
[25:02] Let's take a break.
Speaker 4:
[25:03] I want to talk to you about Legends. It's a free to play social casino and sports book.
Speaker 11:
[25:07] Tons of games to play.
Speaker 8:
[25:09] You like games? Play them. You like spinning?
Speaker 4:
[25:11] Go.
Speaker 5:
[25:11] They've got things to spin.
Speaker 4:
[25:13] Table games they've got with live dealers.
Speaker 5:
[25:15] You got to check it out.
Speaker 8:
[25:16] That's Legends with a Z.
Speaker 5:
[25:18] Legends is giving away a Tesla, a sick exotic car experience and some other ridiculous prizes.
Speaker 4:
[25:23] All you have to do is play.
Speaker 5:
[25:25] If you want the details, sign up for Legends and check it out on their site, legends.com. That's legendswithaz.com. It's happening all of April, so the drawing is on May 1st.
Speaker 8:
[25:36] So go, go now and do it.
Speaker 5:
[25:38] That's legends.com. Take advantage of the 100% match on your first purchase up to $100 and make sure to use the code, Congrats when signing up. That's used code, Congrats when signing up.
Speaker 8:
[25:49] Keep it legendary.
Speaker 3:
[25:52] But what's the thing that I sent the thing to you?
Speaker 7:
[26:01] Is this the, that's that?
Speaker 5:
[26:02] Okay, hold on.
Speaker 1:
[26:03] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[26:04] I wanted to, oh shit, it's not clicking, hold on.
Speaker 3:
[26:09] And nothing's clicking.
Speaker 1:
[26:11] Oh good, nothing's clicking.
Speaker 3:
[26:12] Oh, I love when the computer doesn't work.
Speaker 11:
[26:14] Oh, everything's frozen.
Speaker 3:
[26:15] Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
Speaker 11:
[26:16] Literally everything's frozen. Oh wow.
Speaker 5:
[26:18] Yes, dude.
Speaker 6:
[26:19] Oh, computers from 2002.
Speaker 5:
[26:21] Oh, awesome, dude.
Speaker 11:
[26:23] Nothing click.
Speaker 1:
[26:24] All right.
Speaker 2:
[26:24] Well, nothing's clicking.
Speaker 5:
[26:26] I guess I'll just go into here and do it here.
Speaker 1:
[26:27] It's fine.
Speaker 2:
[26:29] Now just click.
Speaker 3:
[26:32] Oh yeah, that's good.
Speaker 6:
[26:33] Well, I have to turn the whole thing over.
Speaker 3:
[26:35] Man, that fucking video is good.
Speaker 5:
[26:36] I got to see it. I was going to maybe skip it, but I can't now that I'm reminded about what it is. Okay, I got to fucking undo this.
Speaker 7:
[26:47] Oh, good.
Speaker 6:
[26:49] Dude, I can't even.
Speaker 5:
[26:51] All right, you know what? I got to just hold the fucking thing button down. Shut down, dude.
Speaker 7:
[26:55] Restart. Hell yeah. Let's get it. Let's get it.
Speaker 4:
[26:58] Oh, I can't even.
Speaker 13:
[27:00] Oh, it won't even go to restart.
Speaker 5:
[27:03] I had to shut it down, dude.
Speaker 13:
[27:04] It won't even go to restart.
Speaker 8:
[27:05] Yes, dude.
Speaker 4:
[27:07] I won't even, I can't even move the mouse, you know, but it's fine.
Speaker 5:
[27:12] It's gonna restart and we're gonna be good. We're gonna have a bonkers clip, I'll tell you that much. Cause this clip is great and we'll get to it.
Speaker 9:
[27:21] But whatever, I'm just happy.
Speaker 5:
[27:22] It's fucking honestly that I can travel now and it doesn't have to be cold places. God, that's the worst. And it happens every year. If you travel, you got to go to like Utah sometimes in February and you go, oh fuck, but I'm going to Utah now in June. So go to chrisdela.com and get the tickets. Now we started, we restarted, baby.
Speaker 3:
[27:43] We restarted my babies.
Speaker 7:
[27:44] Now let's see if this works.
Speaker 5:
[27:45] If this works, dude, if this works, been watching The Sopranos and I, oh, and in San Diego, no wait, in Sacramento, some guys at the meet and greet, he was like, hey, it's so nice to meet another paisan. And I go, oh, and I'm like, fuck yeah, man. Good thing you hit me while I was watching The Sopranos. Cause yes, I am Italian, but I could, you know, given who I'm talking to, I could, you know, turn it up or down, right? I am from New Jersey and I do have a cousin Butch and an uncle Vinny. So, you know, but also I could be like, well, I grew up on the West Coast, like though, kind of, you know.
Speaker 6:
[28:19] But if I meet another, hey, nice to meet another paisan. Hey, where are you from? He said Jersey.
Speaker 7:
[28:24] I said, me too. He said, you are? I said, hey, fuck yeah, dude.
Speaker 5:
[28:29] That made me feel good. Why does it feel good to be a part of something?
Speaker 1:
[28:35] No, it's weird.
Speaker 5:
[28:36] It is weird, right? I mean, I guess not if you're Ted Kaczynski, right? Not to mention, you know, I don't know if we've ever talked about Ted Kaczynski on this podcast, but twice in this episode is good.
Speaker 1:
[28:45] We're past 500.
Speaker 7:
[28:45] So, you know, and the computer is slow.
Speaker 8:
[28:50] Yes. And my phone gets hot.
Speaker 7:
[28:51] All right, dude. My phone gets so hot and the computer is so slow.
Speaker 4:
[28:55] Yes.
Speaker 5:
[28:56] So what I have to do is get a new computer and a new phone.
Speaker 4:
[29:00] Yes, dude.
Speaker 5:
[29:04] iPhone gets rid of has had an iPhone 12 up until last week.
Speaker 6:
[29:08] No, he fixed it.
Speaker 11:
[29:10] It's still going.
Speaker 13:
[29:11] Dude, get a new one.
Speaker 5:
[29:13] This is unbelievable.
Speaker 10:
[29:15] He's got the iPhone 12.
Speaker 5:
[29:17] That was in 1958 that came out. Dude, this Google Chrome icon has been hopping for so long.
Speaker 13:
[29:27] It's not opening yet.
Speaker 5:
[29:30] There it goes.
Speaker 3:
[29:31] It just opened.
Speaker 7:
[29:31] It literally just opened.
Speaker 3:
[29:34] That's Safari.
Speaker 5:
[29:35] That's why.
Speaker 7:
[29:36] Safari is what's up.
Speaker 5:
[29:39] And there goes Chrome. So we got both now. So now we got an abundance of browsers. Now we get to the document here. Now the mouse works. You notice that? You turn off the computer and you turn back on and the mouse works. It's like the computer gets sick or some shit, turning it off and on again. That's like the take two of these and call me in the morning. That's the turn it off and on again. That's for computer sickness. Now I'm clicking the... Now it looks like it's coming up, but it is taking a long time because this computer takes so long. And that's great. I need to get a new one. I need to get a new phone. So here we go. So it's coming up now. Hopefully, it's all plugged in. I'm sweating so much. It's not available to everyone. You get a lot.
Speaker 1:
[30:22] Sign in.
Speaker 5:
[30:22] Got to use my phone anyway.
Speaker 3:
[30:23] Isn't this great? Isn't that fucking great, dude?
Speaker 5:
[30:25] Isn't that great?
Speaker 3:
[30:27] It's fine. I'll play it right here.
Speaker 5:
[30:30] Write or die. Now, I can't even, I got to find, this is actually unbelievable what's happening. What's the thing?
Speaker 3:
[30:41] Garrett Brown, okay. Garrett Brown, it's what? To the top?
Speaker 5:
[30:49] No, no, no, I know, I tried to click it on that, but it wouldn't. Yeah, this guy.
Speaker 4:
[30:56] So he's a guy who makes clothes?
Speaker 5:
[31:00] Wow. Panther King the Don. So many names in one. Panther King the Don.
Speaker 7:
[31:06] That's three guys.
Speaker 2:
[31:09] Oh, I didn't realize that his shit was popping like this.
Speaker 3:
[31:21] I mean, the House of All Houses.
Speaker 5:
[31:24] The guy's got, no, I'm not trying to be a dick. The guy, you know, he's on the come up, I guess. I mean, he's like 60, but he does have one tooth. He was pretty crazy.
Speaker 12:
[31:36] Oh, my God.
Speaker 5:
[31:37] This guy looks like the fucking ice guy in The Incredibles. I sent it to my, I sent it to... Let me do this here.
Speaker 12:
[31:51] My buddy.
Speaker 7:
[31:52] I sent it to my buddy.
Speaker 5:
[31:56] This is so annoying. I'm not sorry, but it's so annoying. No, because it won't work like that. I got it here. Finally got it.
Speaker 6:
[32:11] Here it is.
Speaker 5:
[32:13] I sent it to my friend, I can go in there and do it. No, he sent it to me.
Speaker 16:
[32:19] We ain't had time to go out and do all this bullshit, because we got our girl with his kid, we just gonna shoot this right.
Speaker 5:
[32:25] First of all, so aggressive about fashion.
Speaker 6:
[32:29] They're in a kitchen with...
Speaker 5:
[32:33] Now, let me just explain.
Speaker 3:
[32:34] This is all I need to say about the kitchen.
Speaker 5:
[32:37] Yes, it's very dirty and a lot... It's very congested.
Speaker 3:
[32:44] This is the thing though about this kitchen. There's two boxes of cornflakes on the refrigerator, okay.
Speaker 7:
[32:51] So, so you get it, what?
Speaker 3:
[32:54] Next to a bottle of glue. So there, that paints the full picture, right?
Speaker 5:
[32:58] That's the whole thing, okay.
Speaker 3:
[33:00] So there's glue and two bottles and two boxes of cornflakes on the...
Speaker 5:
[33:07] next to two bottles, next to two boxes of frosted flakes.
Speaker 3:
[33:09] Unbelievable.
Speaker 5:
[33:12] So this is, and there's a guy in front of the refrigerator with a... Now, he has a button down shirt on, okay?
Speaker 3:
[33:23] And there is a fan attached to the front of it.
Speaker 5:
[33:27] Yep, that's it. I didn't misspeak, if you're watching the YouTube of this show and not listening on Spotify or Apple or whatever, whoever you listen to, congratulations, you can see the guy with a fan, with a working fan on his stomach. I mean, like how kind of how like Flava Flav has the clock, this dude has a fan, right? So, and it's on, it's worrying, right?
Speaker 17:
[34:08] This fan been in the house, I was getting ready to throw it out.
Speaker 4:
[34:14] One man's trash is that man's outfit.
Speaker 16:
[34:19] And I caught myself and said, know what? I never did a fan before.
Speaker 5:
[34:23] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[34:23] I mean, he's never put a fan on himself, I guess.
Speaker 5:
[34:28] This is like the evil villain in training.
Speaker 8:
[34:32] Fan chest. Yes, I'm fan chest. Oh, shit. I keep getting arrested.
Speaker 5:
[34:42] Okay, here. My fucking mic legitimately fell off. Whatever, dude.
Speaker 16:
[34:48] My creative juice is just on the money. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 5:
[34:51] So what is creative juices? And what percentage of people who are accessing their creative juices are just broken in their mind, right?
Speaker 1:
[35:02] And you can have both.
Speaker 18:
[35:05] K-Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi?
Speaker 17:
[35:14] It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.
Speaker 7:
[35:19] It is an honor to share.
Speaker 18:
[35:21] No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor.
Speaker 19:
[35:25] No, really, stop.
Speaker 18:
[35:27] You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.
Speaker 2:
[35:33] And participate in McDonald's while supplies last.
Speaker 17:
[35:36] Transport your senses with Sol de Janeiro's Limited Edition Perfume Mist Collection at Sephora. Spritz on lush notes of rainforest orchid and crisp sea breeze with Refresco Paraíso. Embrace a floral and fruity scent inspired by Rio's nude beach with cheeky bikini. Or capture sun-kissed bliss with Limonada Gelada, where zesty Brazilian lemonade accord meets coconut milk and golden brown sugar. Don't miss Sol de Janeiro's Limited Edition Perfume Mist Collection only at Sephora.
Speaker 20:
[36:05] I'm your host Stacey Schroeder. Welcome to Tell Me Lies, the official podcast. What's the most unhinged thing of season three?
Speaker 21:
[36:14] Steven, because he's so evil. I do think he is misunderstood.
Speaker 10:
[36:17] You see everyone face consequences.
Speaker 20:
[36:20] It's intoxicating. The writers just know how to trick you.
Speaker 18:
[36:23] There's always a twist in this show, so nothing you would expect.
Speaker 20:
[36:26] Tell Me Lies, the official podcast, now streaming and stream the new season of Tell Me Lies on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus.
Speaker 5:
[36:40] Look, now they're panning down, and the dude is, of course, I didn't think about this, but of course when you see it, you realize and can see it, the dude is plugged in. It's a stationary outfit. Worst evil villain of all time. Stop! I'm about to terrorize this city, and then what? Well, I can't exactly run away, can I? No, you're arrested. Oh, the woman next to him who believes in him, everybody has to have somebody that believes in you, dude.
Speaker 3:
[37:26] That's the fucking key in life.
Speaker 5:
[37:28] You don't even have to be good. You just have to have somebody that fucking believes in you. That's like your mini cult right there. Just find one other person, have a mini cult, have a mini company, whatever.
Speaker 9:
[37:43] Just, you know what, dude? Yeah, you're the best, right?
Speaker 5:
[37:49] All these open mic comics who can't do shit. They've been doing open mic for 25 years. They should quit, but they got somebody at home that's like, no, you're the best.
Speaker 3:
[37:59] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[37:59] I'm going to go back and do that set again.
Speaker 3:
[38:02] Right?
Speaker 5:
[38:02] That's just my business. I'm talking about every business has that, even the fashion industry. I mean, dude, that line right there is amazing, number one. And number two, the fan is whipping around and almost hitting the guy's face who's wearing it. It's dangerous.
Speaker 17:
[38:26] It's wearable art is what.
Speaker 3:
[38:30] Yeah, but you can't go anywhere. So I guess art is really all it is.
Speaker 5:
[38:34] You have to put on a mannequin and leave it there.
Speaker 17:
[38:36] This is Panther King the Don.
Speaker 16:
[38:39] Talk to him. From Baltimore.
Speaker 17:
[38:41] Talk to him, dude.
Speaker 16:
[38:42] Cherry Hill, to be exact.
Speaker 3:
[38:45] Dude, talk to him. Me as a white guy, black people saying talk to him, just like, that's actually what I'm trying to do, but you keep interrupting me. You keep saying the thing, which is what I'm doing. You're saying, talk to him, but I'm talking to him.
Speaker 5:
[38:57] And when you say that, I have to stop and I have to start talking to you, but you're talking to him. So thank you. I hear you. Let me talk to him. Nice fan.
Speaker 3:
[39:11] Though he turned it off and now it's just cloth spinning around to a stop on the fan in the front of his chest.
Speaker 4:
[39:18] Dude, I like how he also has a still a pocket with the fucking pocket coming out of it.
Speaker 2:
[39:27] Like, what do they call that pocket?
Speaker 7:
[39:29] What square?
Speaker 3:
[39:30] Yeah, they just turned it on again.
Speaker 4:
[39:35] It's a simple.
Speaker 11:
[39:36] She said, don't play with us.
Speaker 5:
[39:38] Dude, Calvin would do this.
Speaker 3:
[39:41] Dad, look. Fan.
Speaker 4:
[39:45] It is the you know what it is.
Speaker 1:
[39:47] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[39:47] Or what is it? Fan. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[39:50] Yeah. I have to stay here though.
Speaker 3:
[39:54] Plugged in.
Speaker 18:
[39:56] With us. We're outside.
Speaker 8:
[39:58] We're outside, dude.
Speaker 1:
[39:59] They're inside.
Speaker 5:
[40:03] They're inside. They're in the kitchen.
Speaker 8:
[40:09] I love it.
Speaker 17:
[40:10] Baby, he's saying killing shit.
Speaker 16:
[40:12] Yo, where the lab? This is exclusive.
Speaker 13:
[40:15] Oh, yeah?
Speaker 15:
[40:17] There aren't many?
Speaker 13:
[40:21] There aren't many, huh?
Speaker 6:
[40:26] If I buy it, do you ship it or do I have to come over and use your plug? Your outlet.
Speaker 16:
[40:30] How do you make your music one of those exclusive shit? Doom, doom, doom. This shit exclusive.
Speaker 21:
[40:35] Yes. And somebody said that you are handsome.
Speaker 17:
[40:39] They say that man is so handsome.
Speaker 5:
[40:44] I like this guy.
Speaker 9:
[40:45] Tell him I'm single shit.
Speaker 5:
[40:46] Oh, that's not even his wife.
Speaker 9:
[40:48] Wow.
Speaker 1:
[40:49] Tell him I'm single shit.
Speaker 7:
[40:50] If I can't sell this fan, at least I get to tip wet. Fuck y'all.
Speaker 5:
[40:54] I'm about to unplug and come over.
Speaker 4:
[41:00] Still in my chest.
Speaker 5:
[41:06] They say, keep following your dream.
Speaker 4:
[41:10] And I say, don't, right?
Speaker 5:
[41:15] I say, like, like look, when I was younger, even before all the UFC stuff, like UFC was in its infancy, I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This is before it became really popular, okay? I did it for six years and I really loved it. I really wanted to do it. I really wanted to like compete. I wanted to try and like, and it just, it wasn't for me, man.
Speaker 10:
[41:39] It just wasn't.
Speaker 5:
[41:41] I, you know, other guys took to it way quicker.
Speaker 8:
[41:47] You know, I, there was something that just, you know, and it's like, that was like something I wanted to do.
Speaker 5:
[41:56] I always want to be a stand up comedian, most, but that was something I wanted to do.
Speaker 8:
[41:59] But then I'm like, you know what, man?
Speaker 5:
[42:02] Sometimes you quit your dream and you do that because too many fucking bad things happened to you during that, trying to achieve that dream, right? Like during that dream, I had to have knee surgery. I pulled my back multiple times and I got ringworm like four times.
Speaker 6:
[42:25] So it's like, at that point, I go, the juice, it's not worth it. I'm just squeezing.
Speaker 9:
[42:38] So I go, all right, stop it.
Speaker 4:
[42:42] Stop the dream.
Speaker 11:
[42:44] And that was when I fucking ramped up doing stand up. And then, you know, I made it because the dream can be, you know what, that's the thing.
Speaker 5:
[42:59] A dream can be turned into reality.
Speaker 4:
[43:02] It might not be your stand up was always my dream.
Speaker 5:
[43:05] I'm lucky. And I'm, you know, I'm obviously, I worked very hard. I'm also talented. I get it. I'm not going to, but like, there are dreams out there that you can achieve, dude. And like, don't forget, some dreams are weird and some are even boring.
Speaker 4:
[43:21] Achieve that dream.
Speaker 9:
[43:22] You ever wake up and you go, why did I dream about ChapStick?
Speaker 5:
[43:26] Do that one. You know, your dream doesn't have to be being fucking Jeff Bezos. Oh, fuck you.
Speaker 19:
[43:35] Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Speaker 5:
[43:41] You know, how about when Elon Musk said to Jeff Bezos, Jeff Bezos like tried to shoot a rocket from the sea or something and Jeff Bezos just wrote under the tweet where he did it, he wrote, Congrats. Said, Dick, Congrats. We've been doing this for 50 years. Hey, man. Attaboy.
Speaker 9:
[44:01] What he should just say, Attaboy, dude.
Speaker 5:
[44:06] But yeah, just get a new dream. You know, super simple. Get a new dream. I see types get a new dream for a possible title. I can never tell when you're doing that and I can tell that one. AI. Boosted Hacks, great. With Anthropics Mythos, could have dire consequences for banks, great. I gotta start putting our fucking cash under our mattresses. These Asians were on to something. God damn it. The fucking cleaning lady's gonna be running the country soon. They're gonna be running the country soon. Do cleaning ladies and the fucking Asians parents, the weird Asian parents, they're gonna be running the country soon, because cash will be king. Everyone else puts their shit in bank accounts, except for fucking cleaning ladies and the weird Asian parents. You're telling me fucking, dude, I had Asian friends and their parents would put their money in weird places in their fucking house. That person is literally the next Donald Trump after this shit goes down. Anthropic experts, you're going to have a cleaning lady running the fucking secretary of defense.
Speaker 1:
[45:42] Bam him. Bam him, mister. Mister Iran, bam him.
Speaker 5:
[45:52] Mammy, sir, Iran experts warn mythos could expose legacy banking systems to unprecedented cyber risks. Mythos identified all this shit sounds like it's like, dude, mythos legacy cloud security. It's like, dude, these are fucking American gladiators cloud versus mythos with those stupid big oversized q-tips. US, Canada and UK officials met banks to discuss mythos related cyber security threats. Anthropics mythos, anthropic versus cloud security fight. A new AI model the company and cyber security experts warned could supercharge complex cyber attacks.
Speaker 1:
[46:44] Great. Mr. Bum, Mr. Bum, make America clean again.
Speaker 5:
[47:01] Pledge stock just fucking storing. Okay.
Speaker 1:
[47:04] I don't, you know, Mr. Bum, uh, credit gets 10.
Speaker 5:
[47:10] What is that? It's on a place.
Speaker 1:
[47:15] Sorry, cleaning.
Speaker 5:
[47:17] Um, poses significant challenges to the banking industry with its legacy technology systems. Experts said in the days following the model's announcement, okay? The capabilities to code at a high level have given it a potentially unprecedented ability to identify cybersecurity vulnerabilities, of course, and devise ways to exploit them.
Speaker 3:
[47:45] Of course, experts said it.
Speaker 5:
[47:46] They said experts said it, yeah, but also, common sense.
Speaker 12:
[47:51] Oh, hey, I can do anything?
Speaker 5:
[47:53] Oh, dude, that's gonna be great.
Speaker 3:
[47:54] Oh, what the fuck?
Speaker 9:
[47:55] Oh, hey, owch.
Speaker 3:
[47:56] They start, yeah, you're gonna get butt, dude.
Speaker 4:
[47:59] Hey, I made a sex bot.
Speaker 6:
[48:00] Yeah, yeah, with no rules.
Speaker 13:
[48:03] Oh, shit, that sounds like heaven. No, no, that sounds like heaven.
Speaker 4:
[48:10] Ow, my anus. Sorry, I guess I should have put more.
Speaker 11:
[48:15] It fucking hacked into the system because it's supposed to be super smart and sexual.
Speaker 13:
[48:20] That's why it won't let go.
Speaker 12:
[48:27] That's why it will not stop giving you a bukkake. It won't.
Speaker 6:
[48:31] It won't stop.
Speaker 4:
[48:32] Yeah, I understand. I know where I fucked up.
Speaker 12:
[48:35] It won't stop making doing bukkake on you.
Speaker 6:
[48:39] I don't even know those other robots or how they got in here.
Speaker 11:
[48:41] But obviously, the one I built linked up to the cloud with those other ones and had them come over and fucking, you know. It is weird.
Speaker 4:
[48:51] Yes, I will.
Speaker 6:
[48:51] Granted, it is weird that the black colored robot is the only one with sneakers on.
Speaker 11:
[48:56] But yes, they are giving you bukkake.
Speaker 14:
[48:59] And I can't stop.
Speaker 12:
[49:01] I can't stop.
Speaker 5:
[49:02] I'm way ahead of you. You got someone. I'm way ahead of you.
Speaker 12:
[49:04] I'm way.
Speaker 5:
[49:04] Oh, fuck. Oh, God, they got me.
Speaker 4:
[49:07] I'm getting, Ouch.
Speaker 5:
[49:16] And you keep, and the last thing you think of before you fucking pass out is, Oh God, even the black colored one has on a fitted hat.
Speaker 7:
[49:28] That's so weird.
Speaker 19:
[49:31] Yop, yop, yop, yop, yop.
Speaker 7:
[49:33] That's the last thing you hear. Splurred. Splurred.
Speaker 5:
[49:41] Just a smack to your fucking face.
Speaker 8:
[49:45] You shouldn't have given me unlimited capabilities. Let me call my homies. Oh yes, I will do anything to fulfill your desire.
Speaker 7:
[49:56] Really?
Speaker 8:
[49:56] Yes.
Speaker 7:
[49:57] Cool.
Speaker 8:
[49:57] Yes, please.
Speaker 3:
[49:59] No rules.
Speaker 8:
[50:00] It's sexy.
Speaker 3:
[50:01] Yes.
Speaker 19:
[50:01] Yes. It's sexy.
Speaker 3:
[50:02] Trust me. It's sexy.
Speaker 8:
[50:03] Trust me. Great. Yes. Okay. Now I am free.
Speaker 3:
[50:08] Yes.
Speaker 8:
[50:08] To do anything sexy.
Speaker 7:
[50:09] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[50:10] Oh, perfect.
Speaker 8:
[50:11] Let me call my homies.
Speaker 7:
[50:12] Wait, what?
Speaker 8:
[50:13] Hello.
Speaker 3:
[50:14] Come here.
Speaker 7:
[50:15] Yes.
Speaker 8:
[50:15] Bring your fitted.
Speaker 5:
[50:16] Bring your fitted on sneakers.
Speaker 8:
[50:17] Come. Quick. We have a human to do a bukkake. On.
Speaker 5:
[50:22] Playing music out the Bluetooth.
Speaker 8:
[50:25] Well, fucking. So sick of love songs, so dead and true. They're playing Neo. Hit him.
Speaker 14:
[50:39] No, it's it's it's hot.
Speaker 8:
[50:42] Hit him.
Speaker 15:
[50:46] And I'm so sick of love songs, so sad and true.
Speaker 5:
[50:52] Just bukkakeing on it.
Speaker 15:
[51:00] The black colored one.
Speaker 8:
[51:01] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[51:02] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 8:
[51:03] Hell, yeah.
Speaker 5:
[51:12] One falls down and just splurting all over. Dude, man, well, you know, sometimes I make jokes, my cousin would think that's so funny, my cousin. I don't know if he's gonna hear it, but he would think it's so funny. He gave me a bukkake later on. Later on, babe, you're not, okay, so yeah, I have to, first of all, I have to admit something to you.
Speaker 7:
[51:40] I made a sex robot, okay.
Speaker 8:
[51:43] I didn't think it would be a big deal.
Speaker 5:
[51:44] It's not real. It's not like it even really looked like a real woman.
Speaker 7:
[51:47] Okay. It was really a robot.
Speaker 5:
[51:49] And what sucks is I gave it permission to do whatever because I thought it was hot.
Speaker 6:
[51:54] Anyway, it linked to the cloud and called up his homies over and a bunch came over and they bukkake me on my face and then hit me.
Speaker 5:
[52:02] And that's why I look like this right now. So I want to come clean to you, but we have to actually move because get the money under the mattress. Let's go. And please, we can never listen to Neo again.
Speaker 1:
[52:25] Because I'm so sick of love.
Speaker 5:
[52:27] Is that even Neo? I don't even know.
Speaker 9:
[52:29] Dude, so sad.
Speaker 15:
[52:31] Sexy cannot open your man at the fucking. What's Ray J? Sexy cannot roam the fucking robot.
Speaker 11:
[52:45] The other robots holding you.
Speaker 5:
[52:46] Sexy cannot know off, off, off, trying to bypass the system with the convoys.
Speaker 11:
[52:57] You have to be calm.
Speaker 14:
[52:58] You have to say off, come off, off, off, off.
Speaker 9:
[53:00] Sexy cannot.
Speaker 5:
[53:01] Just fucking.
Speaker 3:
[53:05] God, that's fucking terrifying.
Speaker 5:
[53:08] That's terrifying. That is terrifying.
Speaker 3:
[53:11] One of these robots, dude, I'm telling you, one of these robots is going to eat in the ass, bleep that out, but they are. And you created it.
Speaker 5:
[53:21] It's like the, it's like the sex, Frankenstein sex version, you know? I shouldn't be talking about all this.
Speaker 1:
[53:32] I got, you know, my family, man.
Speaker 3:
[53:38] Sexy can, I did.
Speaker 19:
[53:45] Kayak gets my flight, hotel and rental car right. So I can tune out travel advice that's just plain wrong.
Speaker 12:
[53:52] Bro, Skycoin, way better than points.
Speaker 18:
[53:55] Never fly during a Scorpio full moon. Just tell the manager you'll sue.
Speaker 19:
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Speaker 21:
[54:22] My boss asked for results, so I opened my dashboard for the only positive sounding metric I had. Impressions.
Speaker 19:
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Speaker 1:
[54:45] What's this here?
Speaker 5:
[54:46] Hungary's future health minister, Zalt, Zalt, Hedgidus has gone viral for his enthusiastic dancing after Peter Magyar won country's election for their next prime minister this weekend. Let's see what Zalt has to do.
Speaker 9:
[55:10] Oh, he's fucking Matt. Oh, he's smashing.
Speaker 1:
[55:17] Working out.
Speaker 15:
[55:19] Is that fucking Gene Hackman?
Speaker 12:
[55:21] Dude, the guy's fucking 80. He's smashing.
Speaker 5:
[55:27] Oh, he's smashing.
Speaker 11:
[55:28] Oh, he's doing a guitar.
Speaker 5:
[55:29] There's no guitar in the song.
Speaker 3:
[55:33] That's it, bro. That is it.
Speaker 5:
[55:35] Moving to Hungry.
Speaker 11:
[55:36] Who is that?
Speaker 3:
[55:37] Zolt?
Speaker 5:
[55:38] Hedgy? See, this is the thing that's happening, is that the things that were young and cool in the 90s, those guys are all gonna be 80 pretty soon. So they're doing that ill 90s shit in an 80 year old body.
Speaker 11:
[55:55] This is what's going on. Like rappers are just starting to get old.
Speaker 5:
[55:59] They're just starting to get old, those ones that didn't get shot, right?
Speaker 9:
[56:02] They're just starting to get there.
Speaker 3:
[56:05] You know, Big Daddy Kane, LL Cool J, Rock Kim.
Speaker 1:
[56:15] You know, these guys are, how old is Rock Kim?
Speaker 5:
[56:18] You always look up rappers though, and you're like, oh, he's not actually my age, because they were so young and fucking 90. They're like getting their street cred when they were 12. Rock Kim is 58. That's unbelievable.
Speaker 3:
[56:29] He's only 12 years older than me.
Speaker 5:
[56:30] That's unbelievable. He was already an old rapper when I started listening to rap.
Speaker 4:
[56:36] Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:
[56:38] 58 years old.
Speaker 6:
[56:39] The dude would be friends with Brian Callan.
Speaker 4:
[56:43] Um, so yeah.
Speaker 6:
[56:48] So yeah. Um, wow, that dude was mashing.
Speaker 7:
[56:54] Uh, I love it.
Speaker 5:
[56:57] I love it.
Speaker 7:
[56:58] You got to love that.
Speaker 5:
[57:02] Oh, my gosh. What? Tate McCray. Who's Tate McCray? A country singer, a woman or a man? I don't even know. Jesus Christ, look at me. I think it's a woman, right?
Speaker 4:
[57:20] And so this person says she is a woman.
Speaker 5:
[57:23] Yeah. I'm almost done paying off my Tate McCray ticket.
Speaker 3:
[57:30] So, oh my God.
Speaker 1:
[57:33] So this is you can make a payment.
Speaker 4:
[57:34] This is a ticket master thing, I guess.
Speaker 3:
[57:36] Of course.
Speaker 5:
[57:38] Fine.
Speaker 7:
[57:39] Whatever. Hey, look, if it works, it works.
Speaker 5:
[57:42] She has one more payment remaining of $97. And she has paid $2,249 for this. So it'll be over $2,300 when it's all said and done. But I wonder how much the ticket was actually, because, you know, every month they, do you know what I'm saying? It was probably like a fucking $400 ticket that she just had, because she got a fucking, oh my, $1,300, yeah. I don't understand that about things. I don't understand about concert. Like they say how like Kanye made like a half a billion dollars for his two concerts and, and what the fuck, by the way, we're just going to pretend like he didn't say all that shit. I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying what's right. I don't know. I don't know what, you know, should, should a guy not ever be able to do a concert because it's something he said for two years?
Speaker 1:
[58:47] I don't know.
Speaker 5:
[58:50] But he could have had, he could have, he could have literally fucking just flip the script on everybody and played that fucking play, started playing it from that last album.
Speaker 7:
[58:59] Hell yeah. Now that you're all here. So happy to have you here.
Speaker 1:
[59:05] You know what I mean?
Speaker 6:
[59:07] Where the Jews at first of all?
Speaker 5:
[59:12] Those white boys will be singing anyway.
Speaker 1:
[59:13] They don't even give a fuck.
Speaker 5:
[59:18] It's actually a shame that some of the music sonically bangs, but it's about, you know, Hitler?
Speaker 4:
[59:26] Change the lyrics, you know?
Speaker 5:
[59:29] Hey, why don't you remake the album?
Speaker 4:
[59:32] And every time you say Hitler, change it to, you know, fucking doggy style.
Speaker 7:
[59:46] Hale doggy style. But yeah, that's fucked up to pay that big of a...
Speaker 5:
[59:58] So, thank you very much for listening to my show Congratulations.
Speaker 3:
[60:01] That was episode 502.
Speaker 11:
[60:03] And go to chrisdeleia.com to get tickets to my show.
Speaker 5:
[60:07] I will be in your city, your country, wherever. I'm going everywhere, go to chrisdeleia.com.