transcript
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[00:30] Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's Verde, Roja or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flame thrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk. Habanero, more like habanero, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon.
Speaker 3:
[01:00] What's up, buddy?
Speaker 4:
[01:01] Hey, I love this. People don't know this, but we're recording at a very different time. It's very early for poor Rich. So he cannot be held accountable for anything that comes out of his mouth that's inappropriate.
Speaker 3:
[01:12] So, oh, is that my excuse today? Perfect. Hey, you've been warned. Let's go.
Speaker 4:
[01:43] Hey, old pal, how you doing?
Speaker 3:
[01:46] Oh, this is, the dynamic's gonna be funny because you're fresh off of hyped up morning mashup, and I'm like, I'm in like, wake up mode.
Speaker 4:
[01:53] Yeah, like, I don't know, first of all, I gave you an hour too. Like, you were, because we had, we were supposed to have an interview, and then I don't have that interview, so I gave you another, I gave you an extra hour.
Speaker 3:
[02:05] Who canceled on you?
Speaker 4:
[02:07] What's his name? Oh Lord, Taron Edgerton. He's in a movie or something, I don't know. Who was that?
Speaker 3:
[02:13] There was a possibility. Is he like from Game of Thrones?
Speaker 4:
[02:16] Let me see. There's a new movie. I'm glad I was really prepared.
Speaker 3:
[02:22] You should be happy this interview didn't go down.
Speaker 4:
[02:25] Oh no, I know him. Yeah. Well, he's got a movie, but he's been in, God, Robin Hood, Kingsman. He's in a new movie that's coming out. I don't know, man. Actually, you know him if you saw his face. Good old Taron.
Speaker 3:
[02:39] I was going to say, you're prepared. This is awesome. I love it.
Speaker 4:
[02:42] Well, I would have been prepared, but they told us late last night that. Okay.
Speaker 3:
[02:45] All right. I just think Game of Thrones sounded like a character on Game of Thrones. I realize that's his real name.
Speaker 4:
[02:50] Taron Egerton or Edgerton.
Speaker 3:
[02:53] He's from the Egerton family.
Speaker 4:
[02:55] I love him. He married his sister. The Duke of Egerton. It's so weird because I never watched Game of Thrones. We watched the first two episodes and then didn't. We totally blew it. But at the same time, I don't even know if I could have gotten behind it, but everyone loves it. It's like, of course, you could have. You would have loved it. I just, ehhhhh, ehhhhh, ehhhhh. You know, that's how I felt about it.
Speaker 3:
[03:18] I think it's the last show that we all watched. All meaning like most people. So it's funny that you didn't.
Speaker 4:
[03:25] It's like, you were one of the alls?
Speaker 3:
[03:27] Yeah, when was the last time there was a show like everyone watched?
Speaker 4:
[03:33] Was it like Joe Exotic? Was it Tiger?
Speaker 3:
[03:37] Maybe. I mean, by the way, he's in solitary. Did you see that? He got in trouble in jail.
Speaker 4:
[03:42] What'd he do? Did somebody try to cut his mullet and he freaked out and punched him?
Speaker 3:
[03:49] That's in the report right here, yes.
Speaker 4:
[03:51] That has to be the thing that happened.
Speaker 3:
[03:53] The mullet incident. How are you, buddy?
Speaker 4:
[03:56] You know what? I'm okay. I'm very tired. I've been having trouble. I keep waking up in the middle of the night, which used to not happen. I'd be like, what happened to my mom? I'd be like, who wakes up 14 times in the night to pee? She's like, me. Now I wake up definitely once. There's never a night that I don't wake up once to pee, sometimes twice, and then I can't always relax my body. So my sleep has been a little bit off, and I don't even think it's like perimenopausal. I just like honestly think I'm just like, I don't know, my sleeping patterns have changed. I'm not as good of a sleeper. I could literally fall asleep standing up, sitting down, hanging out by like on the street. I could just fall asleep anywhere. I can't do that anywhere.
Speaker 3:
[04:36] I'm sorry, I thought for a minute you named someone, and then I realized, I thought there was a guy named perimenopausal. I'm like, oh, wait, no, she's...
Speaker 4:
[04:47] You know Perry? Perry Menopausal. He's a good guy.
Speaker 3:
[04:54] To be honest with you, I feel bad because it's not the right answer, but the only time I get a full night's sleep is when I get high.
Speaker 4:
[05:04] I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'm pretty sure that's a lot of people's story at this point.
Speaker 3:
[05:08] If I take a gummy and edible with Sarah, you'll sleep all night? Or if I have a THC drink, I'll have a great night's sleep, but if it's just a regular night, I'm probably going to wake up three times easy.
Speaker 4:
[05:20] To pee or just because your body wakes up?
Speaker 3:
[05:22] Wakes up and I'm like, oh. You know what it is?
Speaker 4:
[05:23] It's that Rich Davis energy, like, let's go, let's go, gotta think about something, gotta have ADD, what stories am I gonna do tomorrow? What am I thinking about? I gotta write the list of the week. Oh my God, what do I hate? What's gonna be my top 10?
Speaker 3:
[05:35] I don't know! Well, I have a top that we'll get to later.
Speaker 4:
[05:39] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[05:40] And I have a quote that I think will put a little bit of life and perspective for someone like you.
Speaker 4:
[05:45] Let's do it.
Speaker 3:
[05:46] But.
Speaker 4:
[05:46] For someone like me.
Speaker 3:
[05:49] Someone like you.
Speaker 4:
[05:51] Never mind, I'll find someone like you.
Speaker 3:
[05:57] Have you ever seen Adele in disguise at an Adele lookalike or soundalike contest?
Speaker 4:
[06:04] And they put like an ugly nose on her and like.
Speaker 3:
[06:08] No, you should watch. I feel like you and Matt would die laughing. I'm going to use the Cole lingo. Maybe it'll work. Oh my God. You would die, girl.
Speaker 4:
[06:15] You will literally die. Matt's like, no, you'd figuratively die. You're not literally dying because then you'd be dead. You would literally, literally die.
Speaker 3:
[06:23] Cease to exist.
Speaker 4:
[06:24] You know that Matt gets so mad at me about that because the kids say it now because I say it so much and he's like, you're actually teaching them to say something that is just patently false. They're literally not doing any of the things that they say they're literally doing. The word literally means it's actually happening.
Speaker 3:
[06:39] Well, yeah, a lot of adults know that, Nicole.
Speaker 4:
[06:41] I know, but it feels good to say it. It feels like a good filler word and one that makes me feel like I'm exaggerating even though I'm not.
Speaker 3:
[06:48] You know what I'm glad you don't do? You do fall for some of these, but I've never seen you on social media tapping something like.
Speaker 4:
[06:55] Oh, that's when girls tap a product. ASMR.
Speaker 3:
[06:59] Don't tap.
Speaker 4:
[07:00] It's so good though. I enjoy, whatchamacallitng that? Consuming that content. You obviously do not. All right.
Speaker 3:
[07:08] You would love.
Speaker 4:
[07:10] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[07:11] Love with a capital L. Jury duty company retreat.
Speaker 4:
[07:15] Finished it already.
Speaker 3:
[07:17] Oh, okay. Well, then tell me about it. You mustn't have loved it that much when we talk about what shows we're watching.
Speaker 4:
[07:22] I'm sorry. We had Anthony on the show. He's the man.
Speaker 3:
[07:25] Okay. Well, I'm only up to episode three, but I feel like you...
Speaker 4:
[07:29] Are you dying laughing out loud? Are you literally dying?
Speaker 3:
[07:32] Your sense of humor, you must be fucking... You and Matt must be having the laughers.
Speaker 4:
[07:37] Matt had tears streaming down his face every episode. And also, you can't get over how much you love this guy. You're like, you never need a resume again. Your behavior on this show just proves that you're the guy for the job, no matter what the job is.
Speaker 3:
[07:52] From day one, when they're like, I'm Captain Fun.
Speaker 4:
[07:55] He's like, OK. Wait, did you get to the water bottle?
Speaker 3:
[07:59] The water bottle that's actually a flashlight?
Speaker 4:
[08:01] No. Now you just gave it away.
Speaker 3:
[08:04] Well, no, I didn't give it anything away. Watch it. It's really fun. Jury duty. And I think there's a reality show you would like. It's about deception. But it's not like cheesy. It's called Million Dollar Secret on Netflix.
Speaker 4:
[08:15] You like all these shows.
Speaker 3:
[08:18] Do you like traitors?
Speaker 4:
[08:20] No, I know. And I know that's an unpopular opinion.
Speaker 3:
[08:23] It's sort of cut from the same cloth as traitors. So I think you would like it.
Speaker 4:
[08:28] Million Dollar What?
Speaker 3:
[08:30] Secret. I really do think you would like it. You know what it is? So someone in the house has a million dollars and they have to do certain things. So, Nicole, let's say, fuck you. You're like, give me a no.
Speaker 4:
[08:43] No, it doesn't. I don't want you like these. You like everything to be like a contest.
Speaker 3:
[08:47] So let's say there's 15 people in a house and, oh my God, Nicole has a million dollars, but you can't get voted off. And everyone in the house is trying to figure out who has the million dollars. But because you have the million dollars, you have to do a challenge like, all right, Nicole, you have to say the word. I don't know. Give me like a random word.
Speaker 4:
[09:06] Um, moist.
Speaker 3:
[09:09] You have to say the word moist five times in conversation. But other people are waiting to see like who's doing something weird.
Speaker 4:
[09:16] Oh, sorry, buddy. Sorry. I just kicked my dog. Okay. I mean, I'll give it a shot. Or maybe I won't.
Speaker 3:
[09:22] You won't. Don't lie to me.
Speaker 4:
[09:23] You get so mad at me when I don't watch your shows.
Speaker 3:
[09:26] All right. Can we get into what we hate?
Speaker 4:
[09:28] Yeah, tell me. Tell me, baby.
Speaker 3:
[09:31] This is like something that happened a half hour ago in my life.
Speaker 4:
[09:35] I love that. Fresh. Fresh off the presses.
Speaker 3:
[09:38] It's a fresh feeling.
Speaker 4:
[09:40] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[09:41] Nicole, what is sick? Meaning when my kids wake up and they have a little-
Speaker 4:
[09:50] Are they sick?
Speaker 3:
[09:51] A little stuffy nose, a little. But what is sick? They don't have a temperature.
Speaker 4:
[09:58] Well, I mean, they're sick. If it's like a bad cold, that's one thing. But also, we sometimes chalk things up to allergies when we think that it might be a cold. That's allergies. No, they have to be like sick. Sick is like temperature or like super lethargic and like really not themselves. Like we know it's probably a little bit different for every kid. Right?
Speaker 3:
[10:18] I don't want to raise no pussies.
Speaker 4:
[10:20] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[10:20] Because Sarah and I have a theory that what's sick to you is not sick to someone else. Like, you know those people at work that always call out?
Speaker 4:
[10:27] But is Sarah the same? Yes, I do. But is Sarah the same way? Because I feel like Sarah might like be like, Oh, my baby doesn't feel good when like they aren't that sick.
Speaker 3:
[10:35] I think she takes my lead in we don't want to raise no pussies.
Speaker 4:
[10:39] Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 3:
[10:40] Because there are people there. There are times where Nicole, you've woken up, felt like ass and went to work, right?
Speaker 4:
[10:45] Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3:
[10:47] And you know, there's people that feel that way. And they're the person that takes off every time.
Speaker 4:
[10:52] Yes. Yes.
Speaker 3:
[10:53] Yes.
Speaker 4:
[10:54] Or, or, or is like one like like, I feel like Stanley T will be like, can't come in stomach troubles. But it's like, he just woke up with like a stomach ache a little bit. Like not like really like sick.
Speaker 3:
[11:07] My daughter, like Ben has a legit like little cough and some stuffy like a tiny cold.
Speaker 4:
[11:13] Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[11:13] But I said to him, well, buddy, I tried to say, if you stay home and rest up, you could go to baseball. And so I was like, no, if he stays home from school, he can't go to baseball.
Speaker 2:
[11:23] I'm like, why not?
Speaker 4:
[11:25] I know.
Speaker 3:
[11:25] I know.
Speaker 4:
[11:26] I've said that before. And so is Matt. We've yelled at each other in the other of the off times. I'm like, you know what, honey, it's a good day to stay home. Feeling better later. You could do this. And Matt's like, no, he can't. No school, no sport. And then he's also done it. He's got a big game tonight. I'm like, I don't care. They're sick. Are you sick to go to school or are you sick to go?
Speaker 3:
[11:43] But then Emmy will lay in bed and she'll be like, I have a tummy ache. And I'll be like, is it a tummy ache or do you not want to wake up and go to school?
Speaker 4:
[11:51] Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:
[11:52] So I'm not the only parent that deals with the question, what is sick?
Speaker 4:
[11:56] Not at all. No, not at all. Do you know what I hate? I hate that I really come to the conclusion constantly that without Matt, I would not be OK. Like, I don't I mean, of course, I'd be OK. But like, he just can fix anything and everything. It's always like, well, I'm not doing this. He's like, well, I'm big and strong. I can carry this. Or it's like, I like so like the other day, he went to Keegan's baseball game and it was Parker and I home. So Parker, I ordered some breakfast sandwiches from the bodega downstairs. I said, will you walk, Leo, you can pick up the sandwiches. She said yes. So she's gone for a while. I'm getting a little bit nervous. And I was like, okay, and she left her phone in the house. So I was like, it was like long. And I was like, I don't know what's going on. But all of a sudden, I started being, I don't ever get like this. I'm like picturing her like on the sidewalk, like laying there, like something happened and she's hurt. So I start, I open up the door, I'm throwing shoes, I open up the door and as I open the door, the elevator doors are opening and she's coming out with Leo. She looks sorry, they were slammed at the bodega, blah, blah, blah. And as she's coming out, the door slams behind me and it's locked. Okay, let's go get the, we've got a spare key at the downstairs desk.
Speaker 3:
[13:07] We live in the hallway now.
Speaker 4:
[13:09] We live in the hallway now. But guess what? Our spare key wasn't at the downstairs desk because we used it the night before and it's in the house, locked out with the spare key locked inside. So now this has happened before. What does Matt do? He breaks in, two seconds. It's like not hard at all. He just breaks in, he can bust open the door and I'm like, I call him and he goes, I don't know what you want me to do. And I was like, well, and they call the super and he's like, him far away, she has to call locksmith to the tune of hundreds of dollars to open my door. But like if like, but if he was like, why would you call locksmith? I could have and I was like, you told me you didn't know what you want me to do. Like, like he can like, I would be in these predicaments all the time and he would always be able to fix them. But like, if I didn't have him, I'd be fucked. I'm kind of helpless and I don't like to admit that.
Speaker 3:
[13:56] It's a nice, but it's nice to rely on each other. I think there's a very gross sentiment that plagues the younger generation where young women are like, I don't need no man and men are like, I don't need a woman. Like, hey, listen, we need each other. That's life.
Speaker 4:
[14:11] And listen, I would be, I would be okay. I would survive. Things would just not be, I would just like, there's certain things where I'm just like, oh, Matt will do it. Oh, daddy will take care of that. Oh, there's just so many of those things that I would have to do like if we ever were together.
Speaker 3:
[14:24] My sentiment is that it's nice to be a team. I really hate that sentiment of like, I don't need anybody.
Speaker 4:
[14:28] You just said sentiment 14 times in a minute.
Speaker 3:
[14:31] Did I?
Speaker 4:
[14:32] So much sentiment. Clock the sentiments.
Speaker 3:
[14:36] There's lots of sentiment.
Speaker 4:
[14:38] Clock the sentiments, Sarah. I think that we just got like five in a matter of seconds.
Speaker 3:
[14:43] I have this sentiment that you're being a fucking cunt right now.
Speaker 2:
[14:48] Excuse my language.
Speaker 4:
[14:50] Oh God, I love you. I just love you.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 4:
[16:06] All right, is this the thing you want to talk about? Because like, is the top that the thing? Because you made me write something down on Tuesday.
Speaker 3:
[16:13] The thing I made you write down is my top that. I have a quote for you and a couple of quick things I want to go over with you.
Speaker 4:
[16:18] Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:
[16:19] As you call the middle part.
Speaker 4:
[16:21] I do call it the middle part, because it's like, because it always changes. Sometimes we do like a shower thought, sometimes we do, like we have like a social media thing where there's someone who posted something and we talk about it. I don't know, it's always like, it's always changing it up. We're changing it up. All right, go ahead.
Speaker 3:
[16:36] How long does Matt sit on the toilet?
Speaker 4:
[16:38] Don't get me started.
Speaker 3:
[16:41] I argue with Kavino about this.
Speaker 4:
[16:43] Not as long as my dad.
Speaker 3:
[16:43] I argue with Kavino about this all the time.
Speaker 4:
[16:45] Get in and get out. What are you doing?
Speaker 3:
[16:48] He calls me something ridiculous. What does he say?
Speaker 4:
[16:52] Because you're like a super fashioner?
Speaker 3:
[16:56] I go to the bathroom. I'm in and out of there. I have a good digestive system, knock on wood. To me, he's like, bro, you don't sit on the toilet for 20 minutes. Like never in my life.
Speaker 4:
[17:06] Also I think it's a little bit of like your energy and your EDD. That's not fun. You don't want to sit down and relax. People are not in there. They're not actually doing anything. They're either reading, they're scrolling through their phone. It's quiet time. My dad used to go, he would go in, this is what we called it in my house. I'm going to go in for my primary, his first shit of the day, and he'd be in there with actual newspapers and magazines. Then you'd come out and we'd have breakfast. He goes in for his secondary. Then he'd sometimes go in for a tertiary. The man spent, he needs from when he wakes up until noon to get all his shits in. I've never met, and I don't even think half the time he's shitting. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3:
[17:45] To me, I'm like a rare case.
Speaker 4:
[17:50] Okay. Yes.
Speaker 3:
[17:51] I'm an internet. Okay. Secondly, did you see that Siddy Sweeney's role in Euphoria apparently is giving business to OnlyFans because women are replicating what she's doing on the show.
Speaker 4:
[18:02] Yes. Then also, I saw somebody from OnlyFans on social media talking about how they think it's cool that it's becoming more normalized, and it's cool that they're representing it in that way, that it's not only this gross thing.
Speaker 3:
[18:17] But is it though? Be real. You're a mom, right? We talked about this. Let's not shame people. But don't make it seem like OnlyFans is an admirable thing.
Speaker 4:
[18:28] It's not necessarily admirable, but it's more-
Speaker 3:
[18:31] Would you be okay if Parker's like, I'm on OnlyFans, mom?
Speaker 4:
[18:33] No. You've asked me about this. Listen, sex work is real work. You do your thing. It's not what I want for me or my family, but there are people who are very successful on it. All I'm saying is, when someone says OnlyFans, it's not like so like, oh, like, oh, like we know it. It's part of our world now.
Speaker 3:
[18:52] But I'm saying if Keegan's like, this is my girlfriend, mom, and she's on OnlyFans, you're going to get a great girl, Keegan, great girl, Keegan.
Speaker 4:
[18:58] I'm going to let him work it out. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to be that judgmental person. I'm not going to do that. Let him work it out. Most likely, they're not getting married. Let him bang around.
Speaker 3:
[19:09] I'm a guy.
Speaker 4:
[19:10] Bang it out.
Speaker 3:
[19:11] I'm a guy with a moral compass that some would say, who are you to talk, right? But we can't glorify it. You know how you could own your flaws and be like, I know I do that, but I admit it's a flaw. I don't think we could go around talking about OnlyFans and be like, hey, it is like we have to admit it's not a great thing for society that people think the shortcut to money is showing their butthole.
Speaker 4:
[19:36] I don't know if it's always the, but also aren't there tons of OnlyFans content creators that don't even have sex or show their butthole. They're almost just like modeling photos. I don't know. I just feel like, listen, I stand with you, OF. I got you.
Speaker 3:
[19:54] God, you're you're lighting up some fucking like MILF deal, aren't you?
Speaker 4:
[20:00] I'm not. I just it doesn't like I think I used to think that. But like, I just think it's like it's it's one of those things. Like being a cashier is not for everybody. Being a radio host isn't for everybody. Being a doctor isn't for everybody. Being an OnlyFans creator isn't for everybody.
Speaker 3:
[20:16] I don't know it. You know what?
Speaker 4:
[20:18] Oh, disagree.
Speaker 3:
[20:21] Hey, no judgment.
Speaker 4:
[20:21] No, what does sleep at your eyes and wake up?
Speaker 3:
[20:26] Here's here's my quote that I saw that made me think of you. OK, because you love to harp on things and you let things bother you and you get all crazy, right? I'm sure your therapist would tell you that. What did you say on last episode? I was listening where you said your therapist said it. Oh, how you and I are people pleasers. That made me laugh. I was cracking up like, Oh my God, we're so annoyingly similar.
Speaker 4:
[20:49] We are. We really are.
Speaker 3:
[20:50] I almost went to a 6 a.m. orange theory class this morning just because one of my buddies like, yeah, bro, I go. And I just didn't want to like let them down.
Speaker 4:
[21:00] He doesn't care. He doesn't care if you don't go. And that's what my therapist tells me. They don't care. They would love to see you. They would love you to go, but they don't really care. Like the way that you make it out in your head. We both have that.
Speaker 3:
[21:11] All right. Well, I thought you would get a not a kick out of this, but I think it would apply to you. It said I got slapped in the face by this quote recently. If everyone in the world wrote down their problems and put them in a hat, would you risk grabbing someone else's or keep your own? Think of things that way and maybe you need to reassess.
Speaker 4:
[21:36] Can you say it one more time?
Speaker 3:
[21:37] All right. Yeah. How much wood could a woodshelter...
Speaker 4:
[21:41] No, no, no, for real.
Speaker 3:
[21:43] I got slapped in the face with this quote recently. If everyone in the world wrote down their problems and put them in a hat, would you risk grabbing one or just keep yours? And the answer is you keep yours.
Speaker 4:
[21:57] Well, yeah, the unknown, like the, right? It's like the, what do they say? The devil you know is better than the devil that you don't. Like, but again, you could possibly pull something that's not as bad as yours.
Speaker 3:
[22:09] Yeah, but honestly, what you think your problems are, I guarantee you're in like the 1% of me. I locked myself out.
Speaker 4:
[22:16] A trillion percent.
Speaker 3:
[22:17] There's a mean girl in Parker's school that saw me on the corner.
Speaker 4:
[22:21] You know what, you, it's all relative. But no, I understand what you're saying. And yes, and I try to think that way, and I say this to my therapist sometimes, I know this grand scheme of things, this isn't that big of a deal. And she's like, okay, but don't, I understand what you're saying, but you don't have to lessen the impact of your problems because there are people who are dying or starving or homeless. It doesn't negate what you are going through.
Speaker 3:
[22:51] There's some millionaire or billionaire out there right now that's upset that there's a little tear in the leather chair in their private jet.
Speaker 4:
[22:57] Yeah, totally, totally, totally, totally.
Speaker 3:
[23:00] Okay, all right.
Speaker 4:
[23:00] Absolutely. Perspective. I like when we share a little perspective. I think we both need that every once in a while.
Speaker 3:
[23:05] All right. Before we get to top that, can I hit you with one more quick thing?
Speaker 4:
[23:08] One more, baby.
Speaker 3:
[23:09] How do you deal, I'm asking you as if you are the coach of the year like me.
Speaker 4:
[23:14] Yeah, I am.
Speaker 3:
[23:14] How do you deal with an apathetic kid whose parents forced them?
Speaker 4:
[23:19] We have one. I think we have one. Oh, Cheetos.
Speaker 3:
[23:22] Hot Cheetos. That's my daughter's softball team.
Speaker 4:
[23:24] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[23:25] That's how you know. I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes. That's how you know me and Nicole are doing this early.
Speaker 4:
[23:29] Yeah. This is how you deal with them. I think that it's a sort of a travesty. I think you try to make it as fun as possible. Like you try to make like lemons or lemonade with the lemons. You have these lemons, you make lemonade, you try to make it fun for him because he doesn't have a choice, right, or she doesn't have a choice. There's nothing you can really do, but try to make it as fun as you can and get them on your side a little bit because I wouldn't pressure them so much. I think some kids can handle more critique, more criticism and fixing things, but just try to make it as fun as possible. Why? Do you have some jackass?
Speaker 3:
[24:04] It's not a jackass, she's just a kid that doesn't care.
Speaker 4:
[24:08] No, but the parents are jackasses for pushing and making them do something they don't want to do.
Speaker 3:
[24:11] So get this, yesterday we have a playoff game, and not that it matters so much, but there are nine, so it's a playoff game, right?
Speaker 4:
[24:19] We care about playoff games.
Speaker 3:
[24:20] Trying to win, right?
Speaker 4:
[24:21] Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[24:22] We're in the second inning, and she's like, when is this over? I'm hungry, I just want to eat dinner and get out of here. And I go, you could go, tell your mom, I was a little like, I was like, buddy, you don't need to be here, if you don't want to play, tell your mom that she's like to go.
Speaker 4:
[24:39] Did she say my mom and dad are making me?
Speaker 3:
[24:40] She goes, my mom and dad make me. I'm like, well, then tell them that you don't want to play, and don't come.
Speaker 4:
[24:45] But then also, as a coach, that's for you to maybe go say something or have that conversation, I think. You know what I mean? She doesn't seem really happy. So it's either that, because as a coach, the coach definitely talks to the parents of our team.
Speaker 3:
[25:01] Yeah, no, I mean, I'm not the main coach on this team, but I said to her, I go, Buddy, you don't have to play if you don't want to. Tell your parents you don't want to play. Right now, we're in the middle of, I was sensitive about it, I'm like, we're in the middle of a really fun, important game.
Speaker 4:
[25:15] I can see you're getting mad. You're like, I can see, you're mad at her.
Speaker 3:
[25:18] And you're telling me, you don't want to be here and you want to go eat dinner, when is it over? Maybe this is not for you, Buddy, maybe there's something else that's cool you'd rather do.
Speaker 4:
[25:26] Yeah, I think you gotta go the parent route with this kid. Or if you can't handle it, because the way you're talking to me is if I was her, I can see you're getting genuinely annoyed.
Speaker 3:
[25:35] Can I tell you that the parents said, we can't be at the next game, and one of the other parents texted me.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 4:
[26:55] All right, do you have a pretty good top that, right? Can I do mine first? Cause mine's good, but I don't know if it's hysterical.
Speaker 3:
[27:00] Yeah, give me a top that, what you got?
Speaker 4:
[27:02] So, I don't know. I never get lucky.
Speaker 3:
[27:07] Never lucky, like working at the front desk of a company and becoming one of the top female voices in pop radio because you're charismatic and cute in the right place at the right time.
Speaker 4:
[27:19] I think I worked pretty hard to get her.
Speaker 3:
[27:22] Well, now you have, but we all get a good break.
Speaker 4:
[27:25] I'm talking about more silly things, like one of those contests where it's like, how many jelly beans are in the jar? I never get those things.
Speaker 3:
[27:33] Let it be clear, if you weren't super good, you wouldn't have lasted. I'm just saying.
Speaker 4:
[27:37] Thank you.
Speaker 3:
[27:37] Yes.
Speaker 4:
[27:38] No, I know.
Speaker 3:
[27:38] Listen, I got lucky. I got an opportunity in New York when I was 20. So yes, luck is a part of all of our stories.
Speaker 4:
[27:44] I've never, I don't know, one ticket to something.
Speaker 3:
[27:47] You never want a big stuffed animal at the boardwalk?
Speaker 4:
[27:50] No. Seriously, you just triggered me. You know how many times I've thrown darts at the balloons or squirted the gun until the thing, like I've never won one of those, like, that's a dream. So you just really got me going. I don't get lucky in that way. So like, have you ever walked down the street? What? What?
Speaker 3:
[28:07] You know, why do you wear clown costume once in a while on the morning mashup?
Speaker 4:
[28:11] If one of us gets, if one of us gets tricked by AI and we either post a story, not knowing it's AI thinking it's real or talk about a story.
Speaker 3:
[28:20] Oh, you have to wear that.
Speaker 4:
[28:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[28:23] Next time, could someone bring in a water gun and shoot you in the mouth?
Speaker 4:
[28:26] Oh, 100%. Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[28:27] Okay.
Speaker 4:
[28:28] So I like, have you ever walked down the street and found money on the street? Have you ever found money like cash somewhere?
Speaker 3:
[28:34] Yeah, I found like a 20 here. I've seen money and I look around and if it looks like an old lady's like going through a purse if she dropped it, I'm like, ma'am. But sometimes you're like, no one's in sight.
Speaker 4:
[28:44] Never happened to me. I don't have that kind of luck. So the other day, I'm running errands and I'm walking down the street and I see off in the distance, the next block up, I see a wad of cash on the ground and I'm like, oh my God, it's happening. It's my time. It's my day. It's going to happen. I'm freaking out but the street sign does not have the little white man saying that you can cross and walk yet. So I'm just like ants in my pants. I'm just like, oh my God. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[29:08] We all know your history with crosswalks.
Speaker 4:
[29:10] Yes. Not good. Not good. So I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm just waiting. I'm like just freaking out. And as soon as the light turns, I beeline like I am running the hundred yard sprint in the Olympics and snatch it like someone was trying to grab it for me. It's not a wad of cash at all. It is like it's like a grocery bag that somebody was like futzing with that must have like folded it back and forth, almost fanned and in the light, the way the sun was, it looked like a wad of cash and I snagged it. And literally two people audibly laughed at me. And I was like, yeah, I thought that was money.
Speaker 3:
[29:45] So not a not crosswalk karma after all.
Speaker 4:
[29:49] Still not lucky. All right.
Speaker 3:
[29:53] My top that is, have you ever tried and the answer is yes. I don't know why I'm asking you, but I will anyway.
Speaker 4:
[30:00] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[30:00] Have you ever been intimate with Matt? And like it's just like something funny happens and you just start giggling because something stupid happens.
Speaker 4:
[30:08] Before you tell, before you say yours, the first morning we woke up in the Dominican Republic, we had each of our own little rooms in this Palapa.
Speaker 3:
[30:17] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[30:18] And we started doing it. And just all of a sudden I hear the kids walking outside, hit their little feet. And there's obviously like the chef has gotten there. The cleaning lady got there. There's people driving by and they're going, Buenos dias. Buenos dias. Seventeen times. And Matt goes, I can't do it. We had to stop because it just ruined the mood. All we were doing was hearing Buenos dias while we were trying to get there. So we started laughing. Buenos dias. And their little voices. I was like, oh, shut up.
Speaker 3:
[30:50] So finally, the kids are sleeping. It's one of those nights where it's like, wow, we have a minute together. So I start kissing Sarah's neck. Oh, come here. What perfect timing. Oh, I start kissing Sarah's neck. And she goes, that feels good. So I kiss her neck again. And I must have tickled her so much that she head buttered me in the nose. And I was like, oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 5:
[31:18] It tickled.
Speaker 3:
[31:19] And I was like, oh, I'm like, all right, I'm okay. I bit my tongue and she head buttered my nose. I'm like, okay, I'm fine. I was bleeding a little bit. And I go, oh my god. I was like, we have very little time. Just her and I, I'm like, I can recover. I can recover. We can save this. So Sarah starts kissing me and she starts, she gave me the little like, don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you for a second. So Sarah, Sarah, Oh no. She, Richard. She takes her foot.
Speaker 6:
[31:52] Richard.
Speaker 3:
[31:53] And starts to try, she tries to pull off my underwear with her foot. But then she gets, but then she gets tangled in my underwear and they end up on her and me. Like we're in a fucking, like three legged race or something.
Speaker 6:
[32:07] We're tangled.
Speaker 3:
[32:08] I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 4:
[32:10] First of all, I'm dying. Like, where she, you know how I've got really like long toes, like I can pick things up with it. Is that what she was doing? You were trying to like work up the-
Speaker 6:
[32:18] No, it was like, it was like, they were pushed up by his knees and I was like, I'll just finish the rest with my foot. Like it was already-
Speaker 3:
[32:24] My boxer briefs were down by my knee and she's like, hold on. She like with her foot was like did a little move and then they end up on her. I'm like-
Speaker 6:
[32:32] Because we were under the covers and it was just, it just made sense at the time.
Speaker 4:
[32:37] No, I'm dying.
Speaker 6:
[32:38] And my legs were long enough to get-
Speaker 4:
[32:40] Did you ever finish or this was too funny?
Speaker 3:
[32:42] Yes, it was destiny.
Speaker 4:
[32:43] We had to. Too many roadblocks.
Speaker 3:
[32:47] Too many roadblocks. But it was, you know what it felt like? Do you remember Naked God when everything goes wrong to OJ? Yes, yes. That was it.
Speaker 4:
[32:56] Oh, that's my favorite.
Speaker 3:
[32:57] I love that. There you go, buddy. Yeah. This is my morning routine. So now, I'm about to do my Kaveen on Rich Podcast and Sarah makes me coffee.
Speaker 4:
[33:09] Yeah. Oh, you must love him. He's so cute.
Speaker 3:
[33:13] I was telling her about- We were trying to define, how do you know if a kid's sick earlier?
Speaker 6:
[33:17] It's really tricky.
Speaker 4:
[33:19] It is.
Speaker 6:
[33:20] Because obviously there's clear signs of like, oh, you're not going to school, fever and all that stuff.
Speaker 4:
[33:24] Yeah.
Speaker 6:
[33:25] Yeah, whenever-
Speaker 4:
[33:26] But you know when they're just not right, you're like something's up. Like I can't- with the parkour, I can't even tell. Keegan, I'm like, even if he's like, oh, okay, I'm like, you're not. I know you're-
Speaker 3:
[33:35] But you don't want to set the precedent that if they're like, eh, that you could say, home honey, because then they could turn into a bitch. And also, you know what? In a couple of weeks, we're going to Hawaii.
Speaker 4:
[33:47] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[33:47] So they're going to miss a few days of school. So I don't want to pile up the missing days.
Speaker 4:
[33:51] Yeah, I got you. And you don't want them to be bitches.
Speaker 6:
[33:54] Yeah. We're also not sending like, disease-ridden kids to school either.
Speaker 4:
[33:57] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're good. You're good parents in society. All right. You're good. You're a good boy. You're great guys. We love you, Village Bitches, so very much. This has been lovely. I think you did great for you just waking up and rolling over to hang out with me. Yeah, let's like, subscribe and follow. I love you. Slide into the DMs at Have Kids They Said Pod, Mashup Nicole, Rich Davis, all things and we'll see you guys next Thursday.
Speaker 3:
[34:29] Perfect. Have Kids They Said.
Speaker 4:
[34:31] It'll be fun, they said.
Speaker 3:
[34:32] Is in the call and Rich Production.
Speaker 5:
[34:35] Love you, Sarah.
Speaker 3:
[34:36] Thanks, Keanu.
Speaker 7:
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Speaker 5:
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