transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:02] This is a Headgum Podcast.
Speaker 2:
[00:05] Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/doughboysmedia.
Speaker 3:
[00:13] Hey, buddy, you know the Doughboys tour all over the country these days.
Speaker 2:
[00:17] We're on the road again, Weiss.
Speaker 3:
[00:18] We're on the road again, but you know where else we like to tour? Our home state. California, baby, where I've lived my entire life, and we're going to be both in SoCal and NorCal at the end of April.
Speaker 2:
[00:31] That's right, Weiss. April 29th, we're going to be in Irvine, California. Come out and see us, Weiss. Wow. Yeah. And then also April 30th, the next night, we're flying on up to San Jose. I hope you know the way to San Jose.
Speaker 3:
[00:42] I'm going to have to learn it because we're going to be doing a show there. April 30th, April 29th in Irvine, one of our guests will be John Gabras. So join him and hey, we're going to get someone else.
Speaker 2:
[00:51] We're going to get somebody else.
Speaker 3:
[00:52] It's going to be a lot of fun and we'll have a great guest for San Jose as well. And don't worry, you won't miss those shows.
Speaker 2:
[00:56] And don't worry, Chankton will be at the San Jose show.
Speaker 3:
[00:59] Wow, thank God. I'm so relieved.
Speaker 2:
[01:01] Chankton's going to be there.
Speaker 3:
[01:03] Very excited to see Chankton. I hope it's a night that Chankton remembers. April 29th, Irvine, April 30th, San Jose, tickets at birdfuck.com/live.
Speaker 2:
[01:14] It will be a night everyone remembers.
Speaker 3:
[01:17] Birdfuck.com's, birdfuck.com/live. Mitch, people know you love your mom. I hope they also know I love my mom. We're both mama's boys.
Speaker 2:
[01:34] It's true, Wigs.
Speaker 3:
[01:35] You love our mommies.
Speaker 2:
[01:35] I love my mom.
Speaker 3:
[01:37] Aura Frame is the perfect Mother's Day gift to capture the chaos you put her through and the memories that came with it.
Speaker 2:
[01:45] Wigs, you know, I may seem like a relaxed guy, but back in the day, I was quite the handful.
Speaker 3:
[01:50] Wow.
Speaker 2:
[01:50] You see me now, you say, that guy looks relaxed. He looks cool as a cucumber. Back in the day, I was wound up. I was driving my mom nuts. But you know what? I owe her the world. I love her. I've had so many great memories with her. You know what's the best way to share those memories? With an aura frame.
Speaker 3:
[02:07] I certainly remember being a handful on family vacations, but also capturing some wonderful photos on those, you know, like maybe I'm throwing a tantrum, but we're at the Grand Canyon. And when I'm looking at that picture, what I'm remembering is just a lovely time with my family. And what I'm not remembering is my mom having to deal with my nonsense.
Speaker 2:
[02:28] Pikachu isn't real.
Speaker 3:
[02:32] Aura frames is the perfect gift this spring. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. Plus you can preload your aura frame with a personalized message and photos before it ships so it arrives ready to go. Then you can keep adding photos from anywhere, anytime. Parents do love, moms and dads, all kinds of parents, do love the aura frames.
Speaker 2:
[02:52] They certainly do. My mom loves it. I gave my sister one. She loves it. You know what? Now they know the new laid back me and they love me and they love seeing me.
Speaker 3:
[03:01] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[03:01] You know what? You should be a little bit, you should get a little bit more laid back yourself.
Speaker 3:
[03:04] I don't know. I don't think I could pull it off.
Speaker 2:
[03:06] I think you could.
Speaker 3:
[03:07] Name number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts moms love by visiting auraframes.com.
Speaker 2:
[03:12] For a limited time listeners can get $25 off their best selling Carver Matt Frame with code Doughboys. That's auraframes.com. Promo code Doughboys.
Speaker 3:
[03:25] Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Of the seven states that comprise the United Arab Emirates, only two were widely recognized. Abu Dhabi, best known in the US as the preferred destination for Garfield to mail his cutie pie nemesis Nermal, and the wasteful and aesthetically repulsive cyberpunk night city simulacrum of Dubai. Like many Middle East nations, Dubai was largely invisible and powerless prior to the discovery of oil deposits in 1966. But since then, the tiny city state has become widely known and traveled to the 7th most popular destination in the world by one metric, as it parlayed its vast fossil fuel wealth into an attempt to build a dense, towering Tokyo 3 that's both a financial and tourism hub in the waterless desert. But its economic and cultural prominence, including a truly staggering Mission Impossible ghost protocol stunt sequence staged atop the then largest structure in the world, the Burj Khalifa, involves a horrific open secret, the widespread use of slave labor. This morally indefensible but wildly profitable reality has proven a marketing liability for the wasteful late-capitalist poster child, usually inflicted on migrant laborers via confiscated passports and withheld wages. The legal or tacitly legal forced labor practice provides the necessary workforce for dangerous construction, driving and sex work jobs. And while Dubai's moneyed asshole clientele could not give less of a shit, the world at large has judged it harshly. Enter Dubai chocolate, a concept completely invisible prior to 2024. It's in fact not an invention of Dubai Emiratis, but of Filipino and Egyptian British collaborators working in the Emirate. After its introduction, aggressive astroturfed marketing made the pistachio chocolate mash up a much demanded delicacy both at artisan chocolatiers and impulse buyers at the Trader Joe's checkout. Now, as the regional chocolate varietals relevance wanes, it's found its way onto the seasonal menu of a staid, 80-year-old distinctly American ice cream parlor. But is it enough to keep the frozen sweet treat brand and Dubai itself relevant? This week on Doughboys, we return to Baskin-Robbins for the Dubai chocolate menu. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Wiger, along with my co-host, Mrs. Dote Fire, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Hello! Very good. Mitch's alter ego when he orders his meals for the podcast to give him an excuse to order a meal for his quote unquote family. Love you guys. I'm desperately trying to get caught up from-
Speaker 2:
[06:15] What did that say?
Speaker 3:
[06:16] Mitch, Mrs. Dote Fire is your alter ego when you order meals for the podcast.
Speaker 2:
[06:22] I gotcha, for my family.
Speaker 3:
[06:23] For your family.
Speaker 2:
[06:23] But that is true. I do order for the podcast. I guess I do lie and say like, this is for a podcast or whatever.
Speaker 3:
[06:29] Well, wait, you do? You're afraid of food for yourself?
Speaker 2:
[06:32] I mean, I have before, but- Why would you do that? No, I've told the person in the window like, this is for a podcast. If it was a lot for a lot of food. I think I've done that before.
Speaker 3:
[06:38] Oh, I would never say that. I would either say like, I would, to me it's more embarrassing to say it's for a podcast.
Speaker 2:
[06:44] Oh, it's the most embarrassing thing of all is to say you have a podcast. I agree.
Speaker 3:
[06:47] I'd say like, I'm gonna eat this by myself in the car and then jack off before I'd say like, this is for my podcast.
Speaker 2:
[06:53] Oh, can I watch? Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[06:56] Love you guys. I'm desperately trying to get caught up from day one of the podcast. I'm in 2022 now. So hopefully I'll hear my roast in a year or so when I'm caught up. Oh man.
Speaker 2:
[07:05] We're just coming out of COVID I guess.
Speaker 3:
[07:06] Just coming out of COVID. More Jamel Bowie please, our buddy Jamel Bowie.
Speaker 2:
[07:10] Hello Jamel.
Speaker 3:
[07:10] Brian from Charlottesville, Virginia.
Speaker 2:
[07:12] Hey, how about there you go? Too smart for the show Jamel. Jamel you're too smart for the damn show.
Speaker 3:
[07:15] Too smart for the show.
Speaker 2:
[07:16] I mean, I'm saying for you, you shouldn't listen to this shit, right? He's too, a man who also is so smart and he's such a good talker that he makes me feel so much better in horrible times.
Speaker 3:
[07:31] He's a great writer too, a brilliant New York Times columnist, but also, yes.
Speaker 2:
[07:36] I was just thinking of his Instagram.
Speaker 3:
[07:37] People love his Instagram videos.
Speaker 2:
[07:38] Yeah, so good.
Speaker 3:
[07:39] We'll have him back at some point, whenever he's free.
Speaker 2:
[07:41] But don't, you should turn us down.
Speaker 3:
[07:46] Mitch, since the last time we recorded, I had some eventful things happen, two of them. I guess I'll go chronologically. So first off, I ended up going to Casa Bonita.
Speaker 2:
[07:55] You went to Casa Bonita.
Speaker 3:
[07:56] In Denver.
Speaker 2:
[07:57] Join the club, baby. I went there with Jack Allison and his family. That's right, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[08:03] I also saw Jack while he was there.
Speaker 2:
[08:05] My godson. We got drinks with Jack. I won't say-
Speaker 3:
[08:07] Jack's not your godson.
Speaker 2:
[08:08] Jack's not my godson, no. I don't even know how much he wants me to talk about his family, so I won't.
Speaker 3:
[08:14] Yeah, that's fine. I was just going to say, I got drinks with Jack after I went to Casa Bonita, but an absolutely lovely time. Just a spectacular experience.
Speaker 2:
[08:22] We miss you, Jackie Boy.
Speaker 3:
[08:24] Great hang with Jack.
Speaker 2:
[08:25] I'll go back to Denver and see him soon, probably.
Speaker 3:
[08:27] How fun is Casa Bonita?
Speaker 2:
[08:29] It rules.
Speaker 3:
[08:30] The food is like-
Speaker 2:
[08:30] It's so good. We allow you to talk, by the way.
Speaker 4:
[08:34] Oh, I didn't know if I was getting introduced. I was going to chime in when you said Jamel's too smart for the show and ask what that says about me being here currently.
Speaker 2:
[08:44] You're also too smart for the show.
Speaker 3:
[08:45] We will formally introduce you, but you can chime in at any point.
Speaker 4:
[08:48] Oh, that's good to know.
Speaker 2:
[08:49] You're too smart for the show, but you're just enough smart that we're still like, you can come on and it's going to look bad for you, but we're okay with it.
Speaker 3:
[08:58] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[09:00] We're okay with the show being a black mark on your career, I guess. We're very happy to have you here, but Cassady Bennett, I don't know if you've been, have you?
Speaker 4:
[09:09] I've watched the movie about it, I would love to go.
Speaker 2:
[09:11] Great documentary.
Speaker 3:
[09:12] Great experience. Cliff diving, spectacular, I think my favorite, but they got a magic show, they got face painting, got my face painted, they got tarot reading.
Speaker 4:
[09:19] What did they get your face as?
Speaker 3:
[09:21] I said, you have my permission to do what have you, and I said, I like tigers, and did not get a tiger, I got a skull. Looked like a face tattoo, I felt very cool.
Speaker 4:
[09:30] That is cool.
Speaker 3:
[09:30] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[09:32] That is cool.
Speaker 3:
[09:33] It was cool.
Speaker 2:
[09:34] I agree, it's cool. Do you see any cliff divers?
Speaker 3:
[09:37] That is the first thing I said, I saw a bunch of cliff divers.
Speaker 2:
[09:40] I was zoned out. I can't concentrate. I have a subscription, I have a prescription to Adderall.
Speaker 3:
[09:47] Wow.
Speaker 4:
[09:48] I would love a subscription to Adderall.
Speaker 2:
[09:50] I have a prescription.
Speaker 3:
[09:51] You got to get Adderall Plus. It's worth going ad free.
Speaker 2:
[09:56] I have a prescription to Adderall.
Speaker 3:
[09:58] That's right.
Speaker 2:
[10:02] Someone told me today that it's like a maha thing, that it's harder to get it. That's what I heard today. I don't know if that's...
Speaker 4:
[10:08] There are shortages of it.
Speaker 2:
[10:09] Yeah. So I haven't had it for a few days and I feel brain mushed.
Speaker 3:
[10:14] Do you think you need to balance it out with some subtractor all?
Speaker 2:
[10:20] That would make me worse. When subtractor all...
Speaker 3:
[10:23] We said you were getting some brain mush, so maybe you have too much Adderall.
Speaker 2:
[10:26] I need the Adderall. It's going into subtractor all.
Speaker 3:
[10:29] Oh, that's the problem, yes. That's what you've got a surplus of.
Speaker 2:
[10:32] So I haven't been... I've been making mistakes left and right. I guess I need the stuff.
Speaker 3:
[10:41] Mitch, the other thing that happened since... I went from Casa Bonita, I was there in Denver with the writing stuff show I'm working on. Great, lovely, wonderful time, great people. And then I flew directly to San Diego, California, where me and my dad ran a half marathon together.
Speaker 2:
[10:58] Wags, I saw that, he sent me a video of it. Not only that, you finished at the same time as your dad.
Speaker 3:
[11:03] We ran the whole race together. My dad never stopped. And he's a man in his mid-70s.
Speaker 2:
[11:10] He crossed the finish line before you.
Speaker 4:
[11:11] And together, it's one Wiger marathon.
Speaker 3:
[11:14] It's one Wiger marathon.
Speaker 4:
[11:15] That's nice.
Speaker 3:
[11:16] So it was like...
Speaker 2:
[11:17] Also, hey, get your ass in shape. Your dad's got 30 years on it, he's fucking kicking your ass.
Speaker 3:
[11:24] We had a lovely run. We had a great talk.
Speaker 2:
[11:26] Tell them about your Alpha Older brother. What happened?
Speaker 3:
[11:27] Well, so, okay, so we crossed the finish line together. I'm not a super sentimental guy, but it was a very nice moment crossing the finish line with my dad and hearing the... Because they announce your names based on the numbers when you go through. It was like, Nick Wiger and George Wiger, he's years old. We can bleep his age if my dad wants the age bleep, but it was like... And people get a little cheer, someone took our picture, it was nice. It was lovely.
Speaker 2:
[11:52] And then people said your age and they're like, oh. They're brothers? Pretty slow. I bet you motivated other runners who finished before you because the weird guy with the fucking skull drone on his face.
Speaker 3:
[12:08] I never watched it on.
Speaker 4:
[12:10] So I'm being outrun by Dia De Los Muertos right now.
Speaker 3:
[12:16] My brother, my half older brother, Nate, was also going to run the half marathon with us. He had an injury a week before training and so he was not able to run the full race. But he said, I'm just going to run the 5K because I still want to participate in something. We get to the finish line. He was running the 5K, so of course he finishes sometime before us. It's a shorter distance. And he's got a silver medal.
Speaker 2:
[12:39] This alpha motherfucker accidentally wins a silver medal.
Speaker 3:
[12:43] He accidentally won second place in his age group.
Speaker 2:
[12:46] That's why. I should be hosting Doughboys. Nate Wiger and Mike Mitchell.
Speaker 3:
[12:54] It's the most neat thing to ever happen. It's just so on brand for him.
Speaker 4:
[12:58] I want to know what the age group is, not to discount him. Or maybe it's the opposite. Is he old or young for his age group?
Speaker 3:
[13:04] He's older than me, but it's still like, it's not like a, the age group isn't 100 year olds. It's not like three people in it.
Speaker 4:
[13:13] Well, congrats to all of you.
Speaker 3:
[13:15] Thank you, Emmy.
Speaker 2:
[13:16] I was proud of all the Wigers.
Speaker 4:
[13:17] Running is, it's an incredibly hard thing to do, to run.
Speaker 3:
[13:21] You're telling me, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:
[13:22] I was texting back and forth with your mom and dad a bunch. I was, I was texting, they told me all about the day.
Speaker 3:
[13:28] It was a lovely family day.
Speaker 2:
[13:29] It was great.
Speaker 3:
[13:30] I took the train back from San Diego and Mitch, I have a new meal I love. Train burger.
Speaker 2:
[13:36] Train burger.
Speaker 3:
[13:37] I got a burger.
Speaker 1:
[13:38] That's the most burger boy shit I've ever heard.
Speaker 3:
[13:41] I got, I bought a burger at a nearby restaurant, this is the train station, walked onto the train with my burger and tots and crushed that sum bitch sitting in business class.
Speaker 2:
[13:52] You stunk up the tube.
Speaker 3:
[13:53] It did not smell that bad because I ate it really fast. But it was great.
Speaker 2:
[13:57] How fast did you fucking eat it?
Speaker 3:
[14:00] Well, pretty fucking fast. I was like Sonic eating a chili dog.
Speaker 4:
[14:04] I kind of feel like train burgers should be like eight connected burgers and like one of them, one of them you have to be quiet.
Speaker 2:
[14:13] Yeah, you can't, no one can hear you make a sound when you eat the last burger. That's fucking good as hell.
Speaker 3:
[14:17] It's like a burger centipede.
Speaker 2:
[14:19] A burger centipede is a much grosser version of it.
Speaker 3:
[14:23] But I guess so.
Speaker 4:
[14:24] That's when one burger shits into the next burger.
Speaker 2:
[14:28] That would be funny if it was one burger here and then in between there was ketchup and mustard, like in between the burgers.
Speaker 3:
[14:35] The condiments were in between.
Speaker 2:
[14:36] The condiments were like the shit.
Speaker 3:
[14:38] Yeah, that's fun actually.
Speaker 2:
[14:39] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[14:40] That'd be fun like Wendy's tie-in. They should have done that for the movie.
Speaker 2:
[14:42] Yeah, why didn't Wendy's do centipede?
Speaker 3:
[14:44] I don't understand.
Speaker 2:
[14:45] Human centipede burger. I don't understand why they didn't do it. Train burger.
Speaker 3:
[14:49] Train burger.
Speaker 2:
[14:50] How about that? I like it. Lovely weekend. Yeah, you're happy, you're running, you went to Casa Bonita. Did you see the magic show?
Speaker 3:
[14:59] I did not see the magic show.
Speaker 2:
[15:00] It was pretty good.
Speaker 3:
[15:01] I heard the magic show was good.
Speaker 2:
[15:02] Did you see the puppet show?
Speaker 3:
[15:02] Yeah, I saw the puppet show. The puppet show was good. It's such a great time.
Speaker 2:
[15:08] Jack, I think Jack said this, but it is like so, it is just like what Disney, like when you go there, you're like, oh, Disney hasn't done fun stuff like this. Like it just feels like where Imagineers went instead of Disney or something.
Speaker 3:
[15:25] If they opened the equivalent of Casa Bonita at Disneyland, it would instantly be like, no, but I'm saying, if they did that to that level of quality at Disneyland, it would instantly be one of the best things in the park.
Speaker 2:
[15:34] 100%.
Speaker 3:
[15:35] You gotta go to this fucking restaurant. It's incredible.
Speaker 2:
[15:37] But it has all those little touches. It is like, I find new Disneyland stuff so fucking boring.
Speaker 3:
[15:42] I agree.
Speaker 2:
[15:43] Like Disney Star Wars land, whatever. People have heard me say this a million times. It was fucking boring.
Speaker 3:
[15:48] Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:
[15:49] And you know what was more fun? Let's Epic Go.
Speaker 3:
[15:52] We did have a good time at Epic Universe in Orlando. I also want to shout out, I believe his name is Scott. I'm sorry if I got your name wrong because we met before the race.
Speaker 2:
[16:01] Scott Tenerman? Oh. Scott Tenerman from South Park.
Speaker 3:
[16:04] Yes, it was not Scott Tenerman from South Park. I would have known it was Scott Tenerman. I would have been like, hey, are we here in South Park?
Speaker 2:
[16:09] Didn't you meet your parents?
Speaker 3:
[16:10] Yeah, yeah, my parents. Kind of not a thing I want to talk about. Hartman got me. His name, I was at the starting line with my dad and a gentleman came up to me and said he was a fan. So, and Scott also, I believe, ran one of the races.
Speaker 2:
[16:26] So there you go. Your dad told me that as well.
Speaker 3:
[16:28] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[16:29] And also, while a Doughboys listener was in this race, nevermind a Doughboy itself.
Speaker 3:
[16:34] I know, right?
Speaker 2:
[16:35] I can't believe one of our fat fuck listeners fucking.
Speaker 3:
[16:42] I could be wrong. I could be misremembering this conversation, but I think I asked him if he trained and he said, no.
Speaker 4:
[16:48] That's amazing.
Speaker 3:
[16:48] That's a Doughboys listener.
Speaker 4:
[16:49] Yeah, I'm just going to free ball 13 miles from zero. I commend Scott if that is his name.
Speaker 2:
[16:58] I mean, one of my best friends in the world, Adam Wu, you've been with him.
Speaker 3:
[17:03] Wu Tang.
Speaker 2:
[17:04] You were supposed to run multiple marathons with him.
Speaker 3:
[17:06] We were supposed to run the Vegas half marathon together, the Rock and Roll half marathon, which we talked about before. He showed up to Vegas and stayed up all night drinking and gambling and just didn't run the race.
Speaker 4:
[17:16] That is how you win the Rock and Roll marathon.
Speaker 2:
[17:19] That's true.
Speaker 3:
[17:20] That is more of a Rock and Roll marathon than actually just running down the strip.
Speaker 2:
[17:24] He's also one of those guys who could do that and maybe still do the marathon. I don't know how, there's people who operate like that. I don't know how they do it. But I mean, he didn't. He missed, he missed the thing. But anyways, I can't pay attention. I've been all over the place. I had lunch with John Daly today and we were talking about Twisted Metal and I was like, did you meet MJ? He's like, yeah, I was in the show. The show ran over Season 1 and 2. I didn't forget he was in the show. My brain is just mush. I can't remember anything. I went to the wrong restaurant. I sat in the wrong restaurant for 15 minutes. I'm a fucking mess. I need my drugs. I don't know what to do. They don't have them.
Speaker 3:
[18:01] We'll figure it out for you. But you know what can give you a little bit of a sense of stability in order is perhaps...
Speaker 2:
[18:06] You crack the whip. We got to do a fucking Doughboys. We're all like, get in here and do the fucking... That's what you do.
Speaker 3:
[18:13] You want an episode to not come out next week?
Speaker 2:
[18:16] Yeah. Wow. Yeah, you call my bluff? Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[18:20] All right.
Speaker 1:
[18:21] All right, I'll give the advertisers your email.
Speaker 2:
[18:26] Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[18:27] No, this is the thing, Mitch. It's a gilded cage. We're very, very lucky to have it, but we have to keep doing it. That's the thing about podcasting. It's not hard to do an individual podcast. What's hard is like when you're training for a race, you have to do it every day. We have to record multiple times every single week.
Speaker 4:
[18:42] You're Nick's dad in this marathon. Half marathon, edit to half.
Speaker 2:
[18:52] Yeah, you don't have to condescend to me.
Speaker 3:
[18:54] I wasn't condescending to you.
Speaker 4:
[18:56] I was.
Speaker 3:
[18:58] No, I was saying-
Speaker 2:
[18:59] He gets it. He gets the brunt of it.
Speaker 3:
[19:00] I was putting in context for people because a lot of people was like, yeah, I'll start a fucking podcast. I was like, all right, well, you might have to do 300 of them at like twice a week every week.
Speaker 4:
[19:09] If you're lucky, you get to do 300 of them.
Speaker 3:
[19:11] Exactly. Yeah, if you're a Spartan.
Speaker 2:
[19:12] Yeah, you're liking that.
Speaker 4:
[19:14] If you mix up square and square space, you're going to hear about it.
Speaker 2:
[19:20] Oh, the better help people are going to get me or the-
Speaker 4:
[19:23] They're not even sponsoring you. They're just like, hey, do you need us?
Speaker 2:
[19:29] You're in roast mode. You're taking out a roast mode. Oh, Emma, hit them with a drop.
Speaker 3:
[19:34] There we go.
Speaker 4:
[19:35] Here's a drop.
Speaker 3:
[19:43] Six sap, six sap, six sap, six sap, six sap, six sap, six sap, six sap.
Speaker 2:
[19:54] So anyway, pizza.
Speaker 3:
[20:00] Very good.
Speaker 4:
[20:00] That was great.
Speaker 2:
[20:01] Yeah. What's Helix mattress gonna come at me? What the fuck's gonna happen?
Speaker 1:
[20:06] Did you just go look up our advertisement?
Speaker 2:
[20:09] No, I was looking up the email. To vote, I was trying to think of Helix though. And I like Helix. I like all of our advertisers.
Speaker 3:
[20:16] You sleep on a Helix bitch.
Speaker 2:
[20:17] I sleep on a Helix.
Speaker 3:
[20:18] Is it a Lux Queen?
Speaker 2:
[20:20] It's actually a Lux Moonlight Lux.
Speaker 3:
[20:23] Moonlight Lux, but it is a Queen bed or is it a King bed?
Speaker 2:
[20:26] Fucking King bed, baby.
Speaker 3:
[20:28] You go King, not California King.
Speaker 2:
[20:29] If a lady's coming over, she needs plenty of space so that my CPAP wire doesn't get in her face. That hose is quite cumbersome.
Speaker 3:
[20:40] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[20:42] It is always fun when I'm like, I really like you anyways, good night. Then go to sleep with a fucking huge mask on my face. I'm not dating anyone, but I'm saying if I meet someone, I have to be like, I like wear a CPAP and it's an embarrassing conversation to have.
Speaker 4:
[20:59] I've always wanted to try one of those. I'm not inviting myself. But I think people are not judgmental about that.
Speaker 3:
[21:06] Yeah, I think it's fine. People wear it, like whatever, I have a night guard.
Speaker 2:
[21:09] You're in town.
Speaker 4:
[21:10] I have a night guard too.
Speaker 2:
[21:11] Wags is different than yours. He stands at the foot of his bed.
Speaker 3:
[21:18] He's a man I only see in shadow.
Speaker 4:
[21:20] He's dressed like a palace guard.
Speaker 2:
[21:25] I use that joke quite a bit. Why can't I think of any of them? Tevalo, Tevalo, which is good, which is good.
Speaker 4:
[21:36] It's an oven? Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[21:37] Can I start some drama about the Tevalo? Can I talk some drama about the Tevalo? I shouldn't get into it.
Speaker 3:
[21:42] No.
Speaker 2:
[21:43] Oh, you're afraid?
Speaker 3:
[21:44] You can't, no, go ahead, go for it.
Speaker 2:
[21:47] No, I'm not gonna get into it.
Speaker 1:
[21:47] We're not sponsoring this month, so you're good.
Speaker 2:
[21:49] No, I was gonna get into the drama about Tevalo is that we got one and we put it in here and then someone from Headgum took it home.
Speaker 1:
[21:55] Oh yeah, I think we told them it was okay though.
Speaker 3:
[21:57] I think we told them they could do it.
Speaker 2:
[21:57] And it's a person I like and they can't take it, but it was funny. I was like, let's put it in the Tevalo, and it's gone. That's the reason we got it. Oh, I'm the bad guy?
Speaker 5:
[22:05] I feel like we offered it up.
Speaker 3:
[22:06] We offered it up.
Speaker 1:
[22:07] My original pitch was we put it in the oven, in the kitchen here, so we had an oven that wasn't a microwave to heat up up in.
Speaker 2:
[22:13] That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:
[22:14] But then I was told there was no room on the counter and there was nowhere to put it, to safely plug it in, so it just got put on a shelf, so then we were like, take it.
Speaker 3:
[22:20] So Ali Khan, who works here, does a great job, is a lovely person, just a wonderful, genuine human being, and she was so like, I need one of these.
Speaker 2:
[22:30] He was like, it really, I was like, this is really gonna help me out. Oh, I wasn't here for this. So this happened just when I wasn't here? Oh, so you didn't, why didn't you tell me, you freak? What the fuck? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 4:
[22:42] How big is this thing?
Speaker 3:
[22:43] It's like a toaster oven.
Speaker 2:
[22:44] It's huge.
Speaker 1:
[22:45] Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:
[22:47] It also was yours.
Speaker 3:
[22:48] Yeah, I didn't eat it.
Speaker 2:
[22:50] Yes, but I did need it, Tavala, so keep advertising with us. I love my Tavala oven.
Speaker 1:
[22:55] We use it all the time in the Headgum kitchen.
Speaker 2:
[22:57] Oh, yeah, yes, we could have. Oh, why don't you tell me things like, now I feel bad.
Speaker 3:
[23:02] No, you're doing great. No one thinks you're actually mad at Allie.
Speaker 2:
[23:05] It's fine, Allie, bring it back in, it's fine.
Speaker 4:
[23:07] You freaking oven smuggler.
Speaker 1:
[23:09] I'll cut this out and put a Tavala ad right here instead.
Speaker 2:
[23:12] All right, perfect. Okay, here we go. I had it up and then it went away. Here's the email, Wags, here it comes. Emma Doughboys, I never changed it over to Irdbrink.
Speaker 1:
[23:23] My name and Mitch's phone is Emma Doughboys.
Speaker 2:
[23:24] Emma Doughboys, I never put in, I like it, I like that as I'm a Doughboys. It's part of the Doughboys family.
Speaker 1:
[23:29] I should change yours to Mitch Doughboys because every time I go to text Mike, it comes up, because I think, because of the Doughboys group chat, your name comes up first a lot. I'm going to accidentally text Mitch something I meant for Mike.
Speaker 4:
[23:41] I love you and my phone is no oven having Mitch.
Speaker 2:
[23:45] To be clear, I do have an oven, I love it. I love the oven. It's great, this place could use, I'm very happy that Allie has it. Why don't you just tell me the story, because I was like, where the fuck did the oven go?
Speaker 3:
[23:58] I think we forgot, I actually don't remember you asking.
Speaker 2:
[24:00] I was talking to them.
Speaker 3:
[24:01] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[24:01] Oh. I don't know.
Speaker 2:
[24:03] Happy, hey, Drop King and the deus, they kind of wrote deuce, the deus.
Speaker 1:
[24:10] They spelled deus like deus.
Speaker 3:
[24:12] Deus Machina?
Speaker 2:
[24:13] Oh.
Speaker 1:
[24:14] Yeah, D-E-U-S.
Speaker 3:
[24:16] Which I think is how you could spell deus, but it's a different word. It's D-A-I-S in this context, right? Our guest writes for roast, they would know.
Speaker 4:
[24:23] They do spell D-A-I-S for roast, but this sounds more like opera, amadeus.
Speaker 1:
[24:29] Well, they refer to us as the deus.
Speaker 2:
[24:31] Is it deus ex?
Speaker 1:
[24:32] So I think that's D-A-I-S.
Speaker 2:
[24:33] What is it? What is it ex Machina? What is it?
Speaker 3:
[24:36] Deus.
Speaker 2:
[24:37] Oh, it's deus ex Machina.
Speaker 3:
[24:38] Yeah, I just said it.
Speaker 2:
[24:39] Oh.
Speaker 3:
[24:43] I like that. Do you like that movie?
Speaker 2:
[24:44] Alex Garland movie? Oh yeah. I love, I like all, I like all, I like most Alex Garland. I don't know if there's one I'd really dislike.
Speaker 3:
[24:52] We got to, we got to, we got to introduce our guests and you got to read through us, but we got a, an Uber ride from the, the finish line back to our hotel because we didn't want to walk another three miles. And the driver was one of the-
Speaker 2:
[25:08] Lazy.
Speaker 3:
[25:10] The driver was like, because a lot of Uber drivers don't want to be in the race area because it's a pain in the ass, but our driver is a runner, was a runner. And he was like, he was like, I'm one of the running Elvis's. I was like, that's crazy. Does he dress like Elvis? Yeah, he dresses like Elvis and like runs with like a group of like 12 guys when they, when they do, you know, they do various half marathons. But then he-
Speaker 2:
[25:29] How's this? Thank you, thank you Very Mile.
Speaker 3:
[25:33] I think Thank You Very Mile is pretty good. It's maybe not the pitch, but maybe it's the pitch that gets us to the pitch.
Speaker 4:
[25:42] You ain't nothing but a hound jog?
Speaker 2:
[25:44] That's good. That's why you're a professional writer. I would love for my joke to play to just dead silence at a fucking roast or something.
Speaker 4:
[25:54] But then you could go really nail the bit and die on a toilet.
Speaker 2:
[26:01] That might happen tonight. We'll see what happens.
Speaker 4:
[26:03] Oh, I'm going to.
Speaker 3:
[26:05] By the way, we have the six, seven thing in the drop, which this one is referencing, or this was a six, seven drop. This is the thing. There's mile markers on the race, right? In between mile six and seven, at the 6.7 mile mark was a group of teen girls holding a six, seven sign, and they were doing this. They were doing the little juggling. I was like, that's fun. That's cute. Everyone can enjoy that.
Speaker 2:
[26:30] You start running up and they join the race and run away from you?
Speaker 3:
[26:34] Thanks for being here, girls. I'm Wiger.
Speaker 2:
[26:39] Please keep running, sir. This is my humor. Hey, Drop King and the Daes, here's a drop inspired by Costco 3 with Jesse Thorne. Go slugs! May there be peace between the Burger Brigade and Spoonation. Aw, thanks for all the laughs. Trimpot.
Speaker 3:
[26:59] Thanks, Trimpot.
Speaker 2:
[26:59] Music at trimpot.com. Well, music at trimpot.org. So check out music.
Speaker 3:
[27:03] Music at trimpot.org. Thanks so much, buddy.
Speaker 2:
[27:05] That was a good one.
Speaker 3:
[27:06] Drops at birdfuck.com. And hey, we got a good one today.
Speaker 2:
[27:09] We have a great guest who I'm going to lend my CPAP to while she's here.
Speaker 3:
[27:12] Hey, how about that?
Speaker 4:
[27:14] And I'll find you some Adderall.
Speaker 2:
[27:16] That's a great trade-off for me. I need it.
Speaker 3:
[27:18] Our guest is a writer and comedian. Her new special, What's Her Secret, debuts May 18th on the 800-pound Guerrilla app. It's the Oonga Pachka godmother making a return, Emmy Blotnick. Hi, Emmy.
Speaker 2:
[27:29] Oh my god.
Speaker 3:
[27:30] What a treat. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 4:
[27:32] A treat for me as well. It's great to be here with you guys.
Speaker 3:
[27:34] You live in New York, but you're out here in LA for a job. But in New York, you got married at a restaurant, I'm sorry, a bar that your husband owns, El Pinguino.
Speaker 4:
[27:46] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[27:46] And this is still in operation.
Speaker 4:
[27:49] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[27:49] It's in Greenpoint.
Speaker 4:
[27:50] And it's a very good place. They've got oysters and cocktails and stuff. You should go. Everyone should go.
Speaker 3:
[27:57] It sounds awesome.
Speaker 2:
[27:57] Lots of oysters on the half shell.
Speaker 4:
[27:59] I love oysters.
Speaker 3:
[28:01] And our associate producer, Melee Marino Mussels, Marino always rolls a dice on fish.
Speaker 5:
[28:05] Always roll a dice on fish. I love fish and mussels, oysters, clams.
Speaker 4:
[28:11] Do you like a ceviche?
Speaker 5:
[28:12] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[28:13] I love a ceviche.
Speaker 2:
[28:14] I love a ceviche as well.
Speaker 4:
[28:16] Go to El Pinguino.
Speaker 3:
[28:16] So is this a place, is it like a lot of raw dishes? What is it? Or it's just got everything?
Speaker 4:
[28:21] It's a lot of raw seafood, but then there's also like cheeses and conservas. And like it's a good date place.
Speaker 2:
[28:31] Okay.
Speaker 4:
[28:31] And I know, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[28:33] And the oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Speaker 4:
[28:36] That's right. And then the CPAP is a non-issue.
Speaker 3:
[28:43] We're not going to need this. You're going to fuck me all night. I eat 14 oysters. I can't be satiated.
Speaker 2:
[28:53] Sure thing. She's pouring oysters down my CPAP tube.
Speaker 4:
[29:01] Are these East Coast or West Coast?
Speaker 2:
[29:10] It is. You do have a little tank next to you. It is like a little aquarium that's next to your CPAP with distilled water.
Speaker 4:
[29:18] Could you put mignonette in there?
Speaker 2:
[29:20] You could put some mignonette in there. Mignonette in there and then put the oysters through the tube. You're in business.
Speaker 4:
[29:24] All right.
Speaker 3:
[29:25] Here's a question. As someone who I imagine is-
Speaker 2:
[29:27] Is it about the CPAP that serves oysters or no?
Speaker 3:
[29:30] It's not about that. But we can explore that some more. I was going to ask about is you got your accompaniment sauces. Do you like a mignonette? You like a cocktail sauce? Do you like a little- What do you go with?
Speaker 4:
[29:42] I like to do a little bit of everything. Yeah. I like some lemon. Just lemon is good.
Speaker 3:
[29:49] If there's some fresh horse radish, throw that in there.
Speaker 2:
[29:51] That's a lot of fun. Can I just be real for a second though? Mignonette sauce is king. Come on.
Speaker 3:
[29:56] You got to do the mignonette.
Speaker 2:
[29:57] I love the mignonette. Also, I like to do with mignonette just by itself, but then I do like to do a little of the cocktail sauce, mignonette and horse radish. That's a fun combo.
Speaker 4:
[30:05] Yeah. If there was a Chicago style oyster, I feel it would be that. Shit.
Speaker 2:
[30:10] Chicago style oyster. That is a fun.
Speaker 4:
[30:12] Somebody should make that.
Speaker 2:
[30:13] Someone should do some.
Speaker 3:
[30:14] Someone should do a Chicago style oyster.
Speaker 2:
[30:17] There needs to be more marketing with oysters. There's not enough of that.
Speaker 3:
[30:20] Someone needs to fuck up an oyster really badly and then call it Chicago style.
Speaker 2:
[30:25] What do you eat it?
Speaker 4:
[30:25] Celery salt, sport pepper.
Speaker 3:
[30:29] It's a raw tomato on it.
Speaker 2:
[30:30] Here's the issue with you need to be like something that's minced. So like a minced sport pepper because it can't be something that you chew with an oyster. No, you have to be able to slurp it down. No one chews, right?
Speaker 3:
[30:42] I don't chew.
Speaker 2:
[30:42] No, you slurp them down.
Speaker 1:
[30:44] I gargle, but I guess that's different.
Speaker 2:
[30:46] You gargle your oysters?
Speaker 4:
[30:48] No, I just gross myself out even making, even pretending.
Speaker 1:
[30:52] I feel like sometimes you hold it in your mouth for a second, but I don't bite it.
Speaker 5:
[30:55] I let it marinate.
Speaker 3:
[30:56] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[30:57] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[30:59] Like, you ever, cause I let, when you get that perfect slurp and it just goes right in, that's delightful.
Speaker 2:
[31:04] Oh, the perfect slurp.
Speaker 3:
[31:05] You love the perfect slurp.
Speaker 2:
[31:06] Oh, I love the perfect slurp.
Speaker 3:
[31:08] There are times when you get the incomplete sort of slurp, right, and there's just like, it's kind of like, oh, I this up a little bit, I didn't quite dislodge this before sucking, or wasn't quite shucked properly, it's always a little frustrating.
Speaker 1:
[31:22] That's what that is.
Speaker 4:
[31:22] I feel like if it's shucked properly, it shouldn't cling to the shell.
Speaker 1:
[31:25] Yes, I'm just gonna get in there with that little fork and like, break it up.
Speaker 4:
[31:29] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[31:30] I, like, anyway, the-
Speaker 2:
[31:33] I got a question for you. When it comes to oysters, are you an old dirty bastard or a Glenn Fry? Ooh baby, I like it raw versus the heat is on.
Speaker 3:
[31:44] Well, okay. So, but I could, I will use a little Tabasco sauce. So that would maybe put me the heat is on, but you mean like a grilled oyster with the heat is on, right?
Speaker 2:
[31:52] Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[31:53] Yeah. I like it raw. Ooh baby, I like it raw. I'm an old dirty bastard.
Speaker 2:
[31:55] I mean, you either hated that or liked it.
Speaker 4:
[31:57] I'm in awe of it. Like this man, yeah, okay. I'm an ODB as well, but I love the question.
Speaker 3:
[32:04] Did you see him take a second to Google both of those songs?
Speaker 2:
[32:08] I didn't. I did not. I did not Google old dirty bastard. I did Google Glenn Fry. I knew the heat is on.
Speaker 3:
[32:19] I liked it. It was worth it.
Speaker 2:
[32:21] I just had to figure out who Glenn Fry is. If I got a phone, I'm improvising like crazy up there.
Speaker 3:
[32:27] They should let you have a phone.
Speaker 2:
[32:28] They should let me have a phone. Whose line is it anyways? Colin Malkeri is asking me a question. I'm just Googling quickly.
Speaker 4:
[32:37] He's got like, John Bon Jovi birthday.
Speaker 2:
[32:47] Which I should know as a New Englander. John Bon Jovi, a big New England.
Speaker 3:
[32:53] New Jersey guy, right?
Speaker 2:
[32:54] Yeah, but he became friends with Robert Kraft. I don't know, which is not a thing to brag about, I guess.
Speaker 4:
[33:00] I think people from Florida are probably friends with Robert Kraft at this point too.
Speaker 3:
[33:05] Yes.
Speaker 4:
[33:05] Hello.
Speaker 2:
[33:06] I think that's where his favorite, that's where his massage pollers are if I remember correctly.
Speaker 4:
[33:10] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[33:12] Was it in Florida?
Speaker 3:
[33:13] I think it was in Florida, yeah, where he got jacked off.
Speaker 2:
[33:15] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[33:15] Are you a Robert Kraft or a Robert Palmer?
Speaker 2:
[33:21] Oh, Jesus. I guess a Robert Kraft of the two, I guess.
Speaker 4:
[33:24] Yeah, I don't know what the question means. I didn't use my phone.
Speaker 2:
[33:29] Didn't Robert Palmer do something fucked up?
Speaker 3:
[33:31] Robert Palmer was addicted to love. May as well face it, you're addicted to love.
Speaker 2:
[33:35] Then I am Robert Palmer, sorry. All right, never mind.
Speaker 3:
[33:37] I'm more of a Robert Kraft. I'm addicted to being jacked off by sex traffic masseuses.
Speaker 4:
[33:43] I'm an Arnold Palmer. I'm the unspoken third option, half tea, half lemonade.
Speaker 3:
[33:50] I would switch to that if I could.
Speaker 2:
[33:51] Wiger tries to-
Speaker 4:
[33:51] You can't, too late.
Speaker 3:
[33:52] Yeah, it's too late.
Speaker 2:
[33:53] You know Wiger tries to claim that he created the Nick Wiger.
Speaker 3:
[33:56] The perfected Arnold Palmer, the Nick Wiger, which is more iced tea, less lemonade.
Speaker 2:
[34:01] Which is how Arnold Palmer liked his drink.
Speaker 3:
[34:04] In practice though, you get half and half. You need the two-thirds, one-third ratio.
Speaker 2:
[34:09] It's not sticking. It's just not gonna stick.
Speaker 3:
[34:11] I think it's sticking.
Speaker 2:
[34:12] It sticks.
Speaker 3:
[34:12] You know what else is sticking?
Speaker 2:
[34:13] No, it doesn't.
Speaker 3:
[34:14] It sticks.
Speaker 2:
[34:14] It sticks. Don't you dare talk to me like that.
Speaker 3:
[34:17] Mitch Mitchell, I think this will get you back on my side. You know what else is sticking? And Commissioner Susser said this as well. This said it was a sticky phrase. No stew, no stream.
Speaker 2:
[34:25] Wow, thank you, Wives.
Speaker 3:
[34:26] Everyone out there who likes Twisted Metal seasons one and two and is similarly pissed off about Mitch's absence from the impending season three, no stew, no stream.
Speaker 2:
[34:37] That's very kind. You've been very kind to me about it all. I'm sad.
Speaker 3:
[34:40] Yeah, it's a bummer. We're all sad.
Speaker 2:
[34:42] You know, the old Hollywood.
Speaker 3:
[34:44] What an industry.
Speaker 2:
[34:45] What a dame she is.
Speaker 3:
[34:47] What a dame she is. What a fussy old broad.
Speaker 4:
[34:50] More like twisted industry, am I right?
Speaker 2:
[34:54] That's really good.
Speaker 3:
[34:57] It is a twisted industry. I mean, we were walking back from our restaurant, the place we're going, I guess we can call it a restaurant, the place we're going to cover today. And I brought up, there was a, I brought up in conversation with Amelia Yan Can Cook, an old cooking show, and it unlocked something for you. So this was hosted by, I looked him up, his name was Martin Yan, Chef Martin Yan. And I watched a ton of this as a kid for some reason.
Speaker 4:
[35:23] I did too.
Speaker 2:
[35:24] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[35:24] And I remember he was a very joyful person to watch.
Speaker 3:
[35:28] Really charming guy.
Speaker 4:
[35:29] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[35:30] I don't know this as well. I'm looking it up.
Speaker 3:
[35:33] Yeah, I don't, I mean-
Speaker 2:
[35:33] I'm actually just looking more up about Glenn Fry right now.
Speaker 3:
[35:36] I don't remember if it was a PBS guy or what, or if it was like- I think it was PBS. But he was just like a charming, like smiley guy. He was just like happy to share his love of cooking. It was a great energy.
Speaker 4:
[35:46] And I feel like it was before, I don't know if the show's still going, but we were kids, probably not still going, but it was before people like that would then spin off their brand into like whatever, ramen noodles and like he wasn't selling you anything but the show.
Speaker 3:
[36:02] I don't have a bunch of frozen dinners and like aprons and stainless steel appliances.
Speaker 4:
[36:08] Not that I'm aware of at least. Something about that feels more pure to me.
Speaker 3:
[36:12] Yeah, I agree. No, I really like that show. Even if I can't really remember it specifically beyond the one thing I was quoting, which is that, you know, it's the difference between sorbet and sherbet. This is the thing Chef Yan Can Cook said that me and my friends would go back to each other. The difference between sherbet and sorbet, $5 a gallon.
Speaker 2:
[36:30] Pretty good skids. Amelia's called it sherbet today by accident, which I kind of like. Sherbet. I feel I was like, that seems like a kind of a cool new, like it seems like a new, cool does sound cool version of sherbert and we were all trying to say, how do you say sherbert?
Speaker 3:
[36:45] Yeah, because there's no R in there, at least in some spellings.
Speaker 4:
[36:48] In this, the Baskin-Robbins, is it allowed to reveal where we had this?
Speaker 3:
[36:53] People know, they clicked on the episode.
Speaker 4:
[36:54] Okay, well, cool. They spelled it with no, it's S-H-E-R-B-E-T, sherbet.
Speaker 3:
[37:01] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[37:02] I've never heard anyone say sherbet.
Speaker 3:
[37:04] I know. I always heard sherbert, but.
Speaker 2:
[37:08] Sherbet, it is, yeah, there is no sherbert. I always say sherbert, sherbert.
Speaker 3:
[37:13] You know what's actually the B-E-T network? I've been calling it the Burt network.
Speaker 2:
[37:21] Hey, we just finished a marathon. Let's go watch B-E-T together, Wiger family. Does B-E-T still exist or is that also gone?
Speaker 3:
[37:31] I think all these channels still exist in some form, right?
Speaker 1:
[37:34] The B-E-T awards still happen every year.
Speaker 4:
[37:36] Oh, okay. That's good. Now it's the black Ellison television.
Speaker 2:
[37:42] The Ellison's bought it up.
Speaker 4:
[37:43] I think so.
Speaker 3:
[37:44] A problematic Ellison owns the network.
Speaker 4:
[37:48] I think it still exists, right?
Speaker 3:
[37:51] I think so. I think it still exists. I mean, MTV still exists.
Speaker 2:
[37:54] MTV barely exists.
Speaker 3:
[37:55] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[37:55] But also, isn't it weird that, we were saying this, but 15 years ago, I wouldn't be like, oh, Comedy Central is gone. I wouldn't think that it would go, it's nothing.
Speaker 3:
[38:04] Comedy Central is still around.
Speaker 2:
[38:05] Yeah, yeah. But barely, barely, it's not, it's in five years, it probably won't be here, right? That's my guess. So I met John Daly for lunch today. Oh, also, well, they're gonna come on, but Margot Has Money Problems is on Apple TV today.
Speaker 3:
[38:21] That's right.
Speaker 2:
[38:21] John Daly's in it, and Eva Anderson.
Speaker 3:
[38:23] Our buddy, Eva Anderson is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna check that out.
Speaker 2:
[38:26] But-
Speaker 3:
[38:26] As of this recording, it'll already be out.
Speaker 2:
[38:28] I was in Atwara Village, and I sat in this restaurant, maybe I shouldn't say this, but I was meeting John Daly at Holy Basil, which is supposed to be really good.
Speaker 3:
[38:37] It's a Thai restaurant.
Speaker 2:
[38:38] It's a Thai restaurant. And I sat in that, does anyone know this restaurant? That's like, it's called- Do you know it?
Speaker 3:
[38:44] Yeah, I know what that restaurant is.
Speaker 2:
[38:45] I think it's a hundred percent affront. It seems like, it seems fake. We'll bleep the name of it, but it seems very fake. It seems like a fake restaurant.
Speaker 3:
[38:55] Yeah, I've never actually eaten there, but I've seen it.
Speaker 2:
[38:57] I mean, I've seen it so many, and I was like, oh, cool. He wants to go to like a weird spot. And I was sitting in there for like 15 minutes, just didn't realize I was in the wrong restaurant.
Speaker 3:
[39:04] Did anyone come by? Did any servers or anything?
Speaker 2:
[39:05] They gave me a pot of tea. I felt so bad because I left, but there was like paper placemats that had been used on the table. Oh, wow. It was very strange. And then afterwards, I was told that it's maybe a front restaurant, which I didn't even know existed.
Speaker 3:
[39:21] Possible it's a front, but also possible that place is just extremely good. It's like so good that they don't do anything else, right?
Speaker 2:
[39:28] That also could be true. I have no idea, but I can never tell with places like that in LA. I don't know those as well. I feel like there's not as much like... There's a few places, but they're like on Jonathan Gold's list or whatever, you're like, this is a place that's like in a strip mall, but it's like the best food in the world. And this place looks kind of lousy, and I thought it maybe was lousy, but I... Could be, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[39:51] Were there other people there?
Speaker 2:
[39:52] There was one other person there. Okay.
Speaker 4:
[39:54] Did they look like they were running a front?
Speaker 2:
[39:57] Yes.
Speaker 4:
[39:58] Oh my God.
Speaker 2:
[39:59] Yes, it did. It seemed that.
Speaker 3:
[40:00] Was the other guy also in the wrong restaurant? Did he leave in a hurry, realizing he made a mistake?
Speaker 2:
[40:05] No, he was eating.
Speaker 3:
[40:06] Oh, he was eating.
Speaker 2:
[40:06] He was straight up eating. Now I'm going to look at the reviews for it, but we'll bleep the restaurant. Okay. But you don't see that as much anymore. Not as many fronts as there used to be.
Speaker 1:
[40:14] Yeah. Or they just got better at hiding them.
Speaker 2:
[40:17] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[40:18] Maybe there's less need for fronts because you can just do it out in the open now. It's like doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:
[40:22] Also, by the way, do we record at a front? Headgum Studios?
Speaker 3:
[40:26] We never put it together that Headgum might be a front, considering no one ever works here.
Speaker 2:
[40:29] Headgum feels like more of a front than fucking that restaurant I went to today.
Speaker 1:
[40:35] I think mattress stores are fronts. Do you ever notice how there's always like four mattress stores on a corner in a suburb and you're like, how many people are buying mattresses? Enough that they need four of these?
Speaker 3:
[40:44] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[40:45] It does have good rate. It does have good rate. Now I'm fascinated. Maybe I'll try it, but don't you miss that old time crime thing? This thing that still probably exists wherever you're from.
Speaker 5:
[40:55] Yeah. People used to think that Scorpion was in the mob, but he's not.
Speaker 3:
[41:06] Haley's father is named Scorpion.
Speaker 4:
[41:08] That's so cool.
Speaker 1:
[41:10] Also very mob-like.
Speaker 3:
[41:11] It is very mob-like.
Speaker 2:
[41:12] I picture you living in the Copland town, which you've now, oh wait, you haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 3:
[41:16] No, we watched it together.
Speaker 2:
[41:17] Oh, we did watch it. Okay, all right, I was gonna say, okay, see my brain's mush.
Speaker 1:
[41:20] I left halfway through to make a phone call, so I was missing my phone.
Speaker 2:
[41:24] I watched the rest of it, so good.
Speaker 3:
[41:25] Good movie.
Speaker 5:
[41:26] I think it was filmed probably near my town.
Speaker 1:
[41:28] Me? Yeah, I was calling Jemmy. Whenever we're on the road, I call once a day to say hi and check in.
Speaker 2:
[41:33] That's beautiful.
Speaker 1:
[41:33] I don't talk to Mike, but I talk to Jemmy.
Speaker 2:
[41:37] Hey, wait, it's near your town?
Speaker 5:
[41:39] They probably, I know they filmed a lot of The Sopranos in my town or around it.
Speaker 2:
[41:44] Wow.
Speaker 3:
[41:45] What's the name of your town again?
Speaker 5:
[41:46] Pearl River, New York.
Speaker 3:
[41:47] Pearl River, New York. Sounds picturesque, but it's more of a copland.
Speaker 4:
[41:52] It would sound like where a guy named Scorpion would live.
Speaker 5:
[41:56] It's like a commuter town outside of the city.
Speaker 1:
[41:59] Sounds like a sitcom town, kind of.
Speaker 5:
[42:01] It used to be called Muddy Creek and then they changed it.
Speaker 3:
[42:03] Muddy Creek is where Scorpion lives.
Speaker 2:
[42:05] Muddy Creek makes sense. When did they change it?
Speaker 5:
[42:08] Like in the early 1900s, I think.
Speaker 2:
[42:11] Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:
[42:12] This should change it back.
Speaker 5:
[42:13] Yeah, change it back.
Speaker 2:
[42:14] Muddy Creek, New York is what they named it? Are there Muddy Creeks?
Speaker 5:
[42:20] Kind of. I think the story is that they found a pearl in the creek or something and then they're like, we're gonna change it to Pearl River.
Speaker 3:
[42:28] That's fun.
Speaker 5:
[42:29] That's probably not true.
Speaker 3:
[42:30] Yeah, that sounds made up.
Speaker 2:
[42:33] I believe it with all my heart.
Speaker 3:
[42:35] Emmy, you live in New York City, as I believe we mentioned, but you lived here in LA for some time. We worked together on At Midnight, such a fun show. It's where I got to know you. And when you first guessed it on Doughboys, how's the big city? How's the big city? How's the big apple treating you?
Speaker 4:
[42:53] It's good. I mean, it's always nice to come here and be able to bring a lot of groceries to where I'm staying, having a trunk that you can fill things with. But New York is good. There's a thriving pizza scene as you're well aware of.
Speaker 3:
[43:13] Which of the five boroughs do you live in? Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and don't forget Staten Island.
Speaker 4:
[43:24] I live in a scorpion barge.
Speaker 2:
[43:31] The sixth borough.
Speaker 4:
[43:32] That's right. It's a gangland, baby. I used to live in Brooklyn, now I live in Manhattan.
Speaker 3:
[43:42] Oh, there you go.
Speaker 4:
[43:43] Not to brag.
Speaker 3:
[43:44] Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[43:45] But now I want to ask you the-
Speaker 2:
[43:47] Moving on up. Well, I guess it's all nice. New York is all nice.
Speaker 4:
[43:50] It's, well, it's, or it's all not nice. I can't tell which.
Speaker 2:
[43:53] I have a 90s idea of Manhattan in my head, which is, which I feel like is not really what the deal is anymore.
Speaker 4:
[43:58] Is it like the friend's apartment? What do you think of?
Speaker 2:
[44:01] Yeah, I kind of do think of the friend's apartment.
Speaker 4:
[44:03] Yeah, you think of like a guy like Cosmo Kramer being able to live in Manhattan.
Speaker 2:
[44:08] Yeah, which is not, which is that, is Brooklyn was very cool for a very long time. Hanford lives there. There's a lot of, there's a lot of people who moved to Brooklyn.
Speaker 4:
[44:19] Yeah, I think it's still cool.
Speaker 2:
[44:20] Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[44:21] I had a lovely time last time we were in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2:
[44:24] I love going there and also the pizza is, come on. It is the best pizza. I mean, I love Regina and it's my favorite pizza in the world, but you get-
Speaker 4:
[44:33] Oh, Pizzeria Regina.
Speaker 2:
[44:35] Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[44:35] Oh my God.
Speaker 2:
[44:36] In the North End?
Speaker 1:
[44:37] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[44:37] So good. We did it, it was a very happy moment for me when Wags went to Pizzeria Regina and gave it five forks.
Speaker 3:
[44:44] I loved it. I loved it. Because you also from New England.
Speaker 4:
[44:48] Yes, yeah. That was, I think maybe, yeah, that's like a foundational pizza for me.
Speaker 2:
[44:53] Were you a Bertucci's person? Absolutely. I mean like-
Speaker 4:
[44:57] I was eating the dough.
Speaker 2:
[44:58] Yes, me too.
Speaker 1:
[44:59] The dough you were supposed to play with? Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[45:02] At Bertucci's, for those who have not had the experience, I think it's like old dirty, it's old dirty dough.
Speaker 2:
[45:08] That children just would eat. I mean, they would maybe pass around from child to child, so you're getting like germ dough. But I think that they would give you a fresh little lump of it. But the dough there was, Bertucci is another victim of one of the chain restaurants we were rooting for, and I think it's like, I think they're almost all gone.
Speaker 3:
[45:27] It was acquired by Robert Earl, who also owns Planet Hollywood, and used it along with Bucca di Beppo as a platform for celebrity ghost kitchens.
Speaker 2:
[45:40] Isn't it sad when you feel sad for Wendy's, and Wendy's being destroyed? This is what's happened with our podcast. Go, you say it.
Speaker 3:
[45:48] You said this a while ago, and it's well articulated, which is that now we're at the point where you have to root for smaller chains or for regional chains to succeed. When you should be rooting for small businesses, but now the little guy is a chain that has a hundred locations.
Speaker 2:
[46:04] It's D'Angelo's, it's Puppagino's, it's Bertucci's. You have to root for these smaller chains.
Speaker 4:
[46:10] You've got to hope they keep inspecting the meat.
Speaker 2:
[46:15] Bertucci's was in Tough. We went in Hat. I still thought it was pretty good. You guys did not. It was the end of a tour and I had COVID. But-
Speaker 3:
[46:22] That's right, you did have COVID.
Speaker 2:
[46:23] I did have COVID. I was pulling pepperonis off of his pizza in Pizzeria Regina while I had COVID. I had no idea.
Speaker 3:
[46:30] You didn't know. I mean, you seemed like you were sick. You didn't want to get tested.
Speaker 2:
[46:35] Hold on a second. Now I'm going to out your ass. I had tested before I went to Foxwood. Wait, no, we were at Mohegan Sun, right?
Speaker 4:
[46:49] No, we were at Foxwood.
Speaker 2:
[46:50] We were at Foxwood.
Speaker 4:
[46:51] Well, everyone has COVID there.
Speaker 2:
[46:52] I mean, I said to Wiggs, I was like, I tested, I'm fucking sick though. And Wiggs said, no more testing till the shows are done. You fucked up piece of shit. Then I did, I will say this, I double masked.
Speaker 1:
[47:07] Your test was negative.
Speaker 3:
[47:08] Your test was negative.
Speaker 2:
[47:09] My test was negative when I took it. I double masked and I stayed away from people. And then we went to the Red Sox game and I felt so much better. And then I was like, hey, maybe I just was sick. This is great. And then I went to Regina with Carl and Wiger and I took a sip of Carl's beer and I pulled off Wiger's pepperoni slices. And I went home and I crashed so hard. I took a test and it turned the new shade of black because it was so positive. And I had to like yell upstairs. My mom be like, I have it. And I like ran to the basement. Because this is, this is, this is 2022.
Speaker 3:
[47:43] Something like that.
Speaker 2:
[47:43] Yeah. I think it was two years, two years after COVID had started. And like I ran down the basement. I had it. And then I called Wigs and Carl who were at the airport. And I was like, I have it.
Speaker 3:
[47:54] We were sitting, we were sitting at the bar together at the airport and you called and you were on speakerphone telling us you had COVID. We were like, well, all right. What do we do now? What do we do with this information?
Speaker 2:
[48:03] Crazy enough, no one got it.
Speaker 3:
[48:05] We didn't get it.
Speaker 2:
[48:05] Except for Mike. Mike got it. Actually, both Mikes, maybe I had Mike COVID.
Speaker 1:
[48:11] Maybe it was Mike COVID.
Speaker 2:
[48:13] My name is Mike.
Speaker 1:
[48:14] That's right.
Speaker 2:
[48:14] The other person who got it, John Adams, kissed me on the cheek. His name is Mike Ramondi. Mike Dorfman got it. It was a Mike infection, it was a Mike strain.
Speaker 3:
[48:24] Like, I only think of you as Mitch. I only think of Ramondi as Ramondi. He is a Mike.
Speaker 2:
[48:28] He is a Mike.
Speaker 3:
[48:28] It might be a Mike COVID.
Speaker 2:
[48:29] Actually, all three of us are Michaels, technically.
Speaker 3:
[48:31] Wow, even more like the angel. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[48:34] Do you remember the movie, Michael with John Travolta?
Speaker 3:
[48:37] John Travolta Angel.
Speaker 2:
[48:38] Yeah, I don't know what happened in it, but he was an angel.
Speaker 3:
[48:41] He had the angel wings.
Speaker 2:
[48:42] Yeah, I think he had the angel wings.
Speaker 1:
[48:44] He got Mike COVID, I think.
Speaker 2:
[48:46] I think that's where it started. But yes.
Speaker 4:
[48:49] He's putting his fingers in everyone's pepperoni.
Speaker 2:
[48:53] Yeah, it couldn't have been like a worse thing if I was like, hey, and then I had it, but.
Speaker 3:
[49:00] He had wings, but he still piloted a commercial jet. Travolta just insisted on doing it.
Speaker 4:
[49:06] I thought you meant chicken wings when you said that.
Speaker 3:
[49:09] He had that too. He was crushing a plate of wings while he was flying a 747.
Speaker 2:
[49:14] A Travolta-led movie, I guess he's older now.
Speaker 3:
[49:17] He's an older gentleman.
Speaker 2:
[49:18] He's an older gentleman.
Speaker 3:
[49:19] He's had an esteemed career.
Speaker 2:
[49:21] Yeah, do we hate, I don't know where we land in any celebrity now.
Speaker 3:
[49:25] I like Travolta. We like Travolta, right?
Speaker 2:
[49:27] Yeah, he was a Scientologist, so people don't like that. Of course, I get it, but it's a cult, you know, where you're supposed to, but you know, I don't know. My grandma was Catholic and I loved my grandma and I'm Catholic.
Speaker 3:
[49:38] Where is this going?
Speaker 1:
[49:40] Are you comparing Travoltaism to Scientology?
Speaker 2:
[49:43] I'm saying you can't, I don't know. I don't, people get mad at us for saying we like Tom Cruise.
Speaker 3:
[49:50] Oh, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 2:
[49:51] I'm saying that like saying you like Travolta is like.
Speaker 1:
[49:53] I feel like those are different. Tom Cruise is like a mouthpiece for Scientology. Travolta is not as much, right?
Speaker 2:
[49:59] I don't know.
Speaker 3:
[50:00] I don't know if he's his friend facing him. He did make the, get the Battlefield Earth movie made, which is an Elrond Hubbard novel.
Speaker 4:
[50:06] You know what, I'm going to put, I'm going to say I'm pro Travolta just off of how he introduced Idina Menzel.
Speaker 3:
[50:13] That was really, really funny.
Speaker 4:
[50:15] The wickedly talented Adele Dazeem is one of the best things I've seen in my life.
Speaker 3:
[50:22] It's so funny.
Speaker 2:
[50:23] It's so funny. It's so good.
Speaker 3:
[50:25] We love them.
Speaker 2:
[50:26] I mean, that was a better time. It was a better time in our world. What a better time. Anyways, I only gave a couple people COVID.
Speaker 3:
[50:36] Where are you? You mentioned Wings. Where are you on Wings? Because we, our first episode was, we did Wingstop way back in the day, Doughboys year one.
Speaker 4:
[50:43] I am extremely pro Wing. I do have fond memories of going to Wingstop. I can't believe it has been 11 years.
Speaker 3:
[50:51] It's been a long time. We've been doing the podcast for too long.
Speaker 2:
[50:54] We went to Habit, did we go to Habit Burger together?
Speaker 3:
[50:56] Yes, we also had a Habit Burger.
Speaker 2:
[50:57] We just revisited Habit Burger and also got a Habit.
Speaker 4:
[50:59] Does it feel like it's gotten better or worse?
Speaker 2:
[51:01] It's gotten worse.
Speaker 3:
[51:02] It's gotten a little worse.
Speaker 4:
[51:03] That's what I feared about revisiting Wingstop too, is that I can't imagine that they've been like, and we've made the chicken even better in these trying times.
Speaker 2:
[51:12] Yes, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[51:13] I feel like they're doing some, they're probably like growing some chickens that are like all wings and no heads.
Speaker 3:
[51:19] Oh, God.
Speaker 4:
[51:20] I don't know. We don't have to talk about it.
Speaker 3:
[51:22] That was always the KFC urban legend, was that they changed their name because they don't actually sell chicken anymore. They sell these genetically modified superorganisms that are like, yeah, all legs and wings. And it did end up not being true.
Speaker 4:
[51:35] I mean, horrifying to think, though.
Speaker 3:
[51:39] But if you could do something like that, if you could make something that's just pure meat with no central nervous system, or you could get a lady that's all legs. Oh, the dream.
Speaker 4:
[51:50] Oh.
Speaker 2:
[51:52] Meet my girl. It's just two legs.
Speaker 4:
[51:56] Legs that don't quit. Tall drink of water. Oh, my God. An all legs woman. She wouldn't mind your CPAP.
Speaker 2:
[52:10] Oh, no, not at all. She'd be down the other end.
Speaker 3:
[52:14] Just a waist down woman wouldn't even need a butt crack.
Speaker 2:
[52:22] We're just gonna go back to that sex store in Japan and get one of those dang...
Speaker 1:
[52:26] All legs.
Speaker 2:
[52:27] Yeah, did you say they had? Wiger went to a sex store in Japan.
Speaker 3:
[52:30] I went to a sex store in Japan, and there were...
Speaker 1:
[52:33] I'm listening.
Speaker 3:
[52:37] I was there with my buddies, Heather Campbell and Bada Padaka by Get Played Co-hosts, and Heather wanted to know what was on the male-only floors of the sex shop. So I wasn't gonna go in there anyway. I was gonna go in there anyway, I will admit, but I was like, oh yeah, that gives me a little bit of a quest. And on the male-only floors were one of them was like, I characterized it as oops, all fleshlights. It was just a bunch of different fleshlights, all like a lot of them branded after individual like Japanese porn stars or Japanese celebrities or anime characters. And then the top level was just full on real dolls. And so they had like full sized women, but you also could just buy like a torso.
Speaker 2:
[53:16] Were there men too or was it just women?
Speaker 3:
[53:18] All women. It was all targeted straight men or people who date men, date women. Yeah. Whoa. It was really intense. And honestly, like it's hard to disturb me.
Speaker 2:
[53:28] Did anyone confuse you for a sex robot and like fuck you at all?
Speaker 3:
[53:34] I just stood there smiling.
Speaker 4:
[53:37] You're like, do they make a his dad model?
Speaker 2:
[53:42] Faster model.
Speaker 3:
[53:44] It's hard to unsettle me. It's hard to unsettle me, but that you could just buy a foot with a hole in it. I was like, I'm not sure I care for this.
Speaker 2:
[53:55] You loved that.
Speaker 5:
[53:56] Sorry to ask.
Speaker 3:
[53:57] The bottom of the foot.
Speaker 2:
[53:58] You loved. Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[54:00] Whoa.
Speaker 2:
[54:00] Where did you think it was going to be?
Speaker 4:
[54:02] I thought maybe the ankle, like if it was cut off at the ankle.
Speaker 1:
[54:05] That's kind of what I was thinking, like yeah.
Speaker 4:
[54:07] That would at least look funny to wear.
Speaker 1:
[54:08] Right.
Speaker 2:
[54:10] You freak, you were having a blast in there.
Speaker 3:
[54:12] I was having a blast. I'm glad I visited it.
Speaker 2:
[54:14] You put yourself up on a fleshlight at the fucking table and opened your mouth wide.
Speaker 4:
[54:19] These are all too big for me.
Speaker 3:
[54:22] I already said this on the podcast, but so I'm repeating myself, but to tell Emmy, when I was going up to the first of the male only floors, I said to myself out loud like, oh, this is one of the male only floors. And another guy in there said to me in English like, that's where all the good stuff is. Oh!
Speaker 2:
[54:43] He was a Japanese guy?
Speaker 3:
[54:44] Yeah. And then he was, I mean, like he might've been, he was an Asian guy. He might've not been like a Japanese citizen, but you know.
Speaker 2:
[54:51] I'm so shocked you didn't bring this guy back with you. Doughboys podcast with Nick Wiger and the guy you met at the super sex store.
Speaker 4:
[54:59] He's got a new guy to pick his pepperonis. That is very disturbing.
Speaker 2:
[55:09] Did you at least, how did you respond to that? Did you like give a thumbs up?
Speaker 3:
[55:13] I just like, you know, I just kind of give it some sort of acknowledgement, like a little bit of a nod or something or a little bit of a half laugh, you know?
Speaker 2:
[55:20] I mean, this is very funny just picturing you trying to react to this man.
Speaker 3:
[55:24] Kind of reacted like a Doughboys audience member.
Speaker 2:
[55:26] A silence?
Speaker 3:
[55:27] A smile and something approximating a laugh. Emmy, so we, I'm curious, I mean, we mentioned pizza already, but I mean, it's top of mind in New York City when we're talking about food, but...
Speaker 2:
[55:40] Give us your, can we ask for her spots?
Speaker 3:
[55:42] Oh, yeah, give me your spots.
Speaker 2:
[55:43] Give me your pizza spots.
Speaker 4:
[55:45] Lay industry is...
Speaker 2:
[55:47] I have had Lay industry.
Speaker 4:
[55:48] Oh, it's super good.
Speaker 2:
[55:49] It is very good. A very good classic slice.
Speaker 3:
[55:53] It's a slice joint.
Speaker 2:
[55:54] Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[55:54] Love that.
Speaker 4:
[55:55] That one's really good. And then there's one called Upside that's on Spring Street.
Speaker 2:
[56:01] Oh, I haven't had Upside, okay.
Speaker 4:
[56:02] They have some pretty good slices. I'm trying to think what else.
Speaker 2:
[56:09] I really liked F&F, have you ever had F&F?
Speaker 5:
[56:11] No, I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3:
[56:13] Which of the five boroughs is that in?
Speaker 2:
[56:15] That might, oh man.
Speaker 3:
[56:16] Just to refresh you, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and don't forget Staten Island.
Speaker 2:
[56:24] Oh, I almost forgot Staten Island. I think it was, I'm googling it. F&F Pizzeria is in Brooklyn. I was gonna say Brooklyn, so it was Brooklyn. I went to a new spot just recently with Carl Tartt and Zach Cherry and Stavros.
Speaker 3:
[56:42] What a crew.
Speaker 2:
[56:42] I'm gonna find out the name of it, it was great.
Speaker 4:
[56:44] It's a good crew. Oh, Leo is also good pizza in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2:
[56:48] Lucky Charlie, that's the place we were.
Speaker 3:
[56:50] Lucky Charlie. Have you had Leo?
Speaker 2:
[56:52] I haven't had Leo either. You gotta try Leo.
Speaker 4:
[56:54] That one was really good.
Speaker 2:
[56:55] There's so much good pizza.
Speaker 3:
[56:56] There's so many options. It's like you get analysis paralysis because you could get into a different pizza place every day and have a bunch of great slices.
Speaker 2:
[57:03] Definitely. Are you like, are you wags? Are you getting those pepperonis pulled off? Or what's your go-to baseline slice?
Speaker 4:
[57:10] It depends if you have, I was gonna say if you have COVID or not. I like, it depends on the place, I think. But in general, I do like the corner piece. Like I like if it's a square pie. I like a little crust on both edges or on two sides, I guess.
Speaker 2:
[57:28] But you know what, sometimes also the one that's just in the middle, the big meaty, saucy, goopy slice in the middle, I sometimes like that too.
Speaker 4:
[57:37] You like the center sog.
Speaker 2:
[57:39] I like the center sog. I do like the center sog.
Speaker 4:
[57:42] You got a fork and knife that.
Speaker 2:
[57:43] You sometimes, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 4:
[57:44] You got a de Blasio that slice. Sort of a dated regional reference.
Speaker 2:
[57:51] I feel like if you, cause he ate pizza with a fork and knife and it was embarrassing. Yes, yeah. This is a fork and knife pizza guy, I feel like. I think he'll use a fork and knife occasionally.
Speaker 3:
[58:02] No, why would you say that?
Speaker 2:
[58:03] I don't know, you just seem like a fork and knife, I don't know.
Speaker 3:
[58:06] Maybe I am, who cares?
Speaker 2:
[58:08] See, I think you kind of are.
Speaker 3:
[58:10] No, I don't think, I'm usually not, but I guess I would do it.
Speaker 2:
[58:13] A fork and knife on your pie hole in the bottom of your foot kind of guy.
Speaker 3:
[58:19] I am a slice folder, I don't know if that's a culture or not.
Speaker 2:
[58:21] Ooh, not me. Don't fold that shit up. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:
[58:26] I like to fold.
Speaker 4:
[58:27] Is it because you're in a hurry?
Speaker 3:
[58:29] No, it's just fun.
Speaker 4:
[58:29] Okay. You might be a calzone guy.
Speaker 3:
[58:32] Oh, maybe I could do that.
Speaker 4:
[58:33] That calzone is pre-folded.
Speaker 2:
[58:35] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[58:37] Is that heretical? No, I didn't even realize that was an issue with folding your slice.
Speaker 2:
[58:40] I don't like folding the slice, because I feel like there's so many New Yorkers, like when you see videos, like you take the slice, you fold it up, and you eat it. I'm like, that's fucking bullshit.
Speaker 3:
[58:46] That's what I was saying. I thought it was like more of a New Yorker thing to fold it, but I could be wrong.
Speaker 1:
[58:50] I feel like that's what you do if you're walking down the street with it.
Speaker 5:
[58:52] I like to curve the first bite a little bit, like a slight curve, but not fold it, just for the tippy top one. But I never fold.
Speaker 3:
[59:03] You know what I like to do is I like to take two bites of my pizza and then throw it in the trash and then walk into the comedy cellar.
Speaker 2:
[59:10] The old Louie.
Speaker 4:
[59:13] Is there other Louie things you like to do?
Speaker 3:
[59:16] I'm more of a Robert Kraft guy.
Speaker 2:
[59:19] No, there is. I've gotten some phone calls from him and wondering what's going on on the other end of the line.
Speaker 4:
[59:24] Are you folding your slice right now?
Speaker 2:
[59:29] I can hear you. I can hear you folding your slice.
Speaker 3:
[59:32] If I'm going to jack off talking to you, we're at least going to monetize it. We're going to put that up on Patreon.
Speaker 2:
[59:35] 100%, yeah. You better be in fucking person when you finally do it.
Speaker 4:
[59:40] The people listening, they admire you, you know? That's what makes it okay.
Speaker 2:
[59:50] Yeah, that opening of Louie, very... But also, I think it is a famous pizza place that he goes to, isn't it?
Speaker 4:
[59:55] It's like... Ben's Pizza, it's right on the corner where the Comedy Cellar is. I think it's famous, like, from... It may be from that.
Speaker 3:
[60:02] That would track.
Speaker 4:
[60:03] But I think it's been there a long time.
Speaker 2:
[60:06] The original Joe's is right around there, too, isn't it?
Speaker 4:
[60:08] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[60:08] What is this safe? I like Joe's Pizza.
Speaker 4:
[60:10] Joe's is very good.
Speaker 2:
[60:11] Joe's is good. Give it a break.
Speaker 3:
[60:12] There are a few Joe's in LA, and I think they're consistent. And I walked to... I got a... The day after I ran the half marathon, I got, like, a hot stone massage. And then afterwards, I walked over to a Joe's, and I got myself a slice, a plain slice, and then I lick a white with spinach sometimes. That's a lot of fun.
Speaker 4:
[60:33] Do you... Are you a... I found when I've been in LA., people recommend different cauliflower pizzas, and I want to know if you're interested in that.
Speaker 3:
[60:43] I've tried the cauliflower pizza. Are you, like, a gluten-free person?
Speaker 4:
[60:47] No.
Speaker 3:
[60:47] Yeah, so I'd say unless you're trying to avoid gluten, I mean, there's not really... I've had some good ones.
Speaker 2:
[60:53] I think they were trying to push it for a while. It's like, it's, like, a little bit better for you, but it's like, what the fuck is the difference if you're eating sauce and cheese? Like, I guess it is a vegetable. It never tastes the same.
Speaker 3:
[61:03] It's for gluten-free people or people with celiac. I mean, I think it's a good substitute in those cases, but if you like eating, if you eat bread, I mean, just have a regular slice, why bother, you know?
Speaker 2:
[61:14] I'll tell you a couple secret pizza out here. Very good. I don't know if you know of secret pizza.
Speaker 4:
[61:19] No, no one's told me about it.
Speaker 2:
[61:21] It sounds very much like a pizza gate restaurant, but it is a real good pizza place, secret pizza.
Speaker 4:
[61:32] Secret pizza.
Speaker 2:
[61:33] Secret pizza. It's great. It's in Eagle Rock, I guess, area.
Speaker 1:
[61:38] Yeah, it's like Highland Park, Eagle Rock, something like that.
Speaker 2:
[61:40] Yeah, that's great. And also, I mean, how could I forget? Wags, you weren't there. We went to Quarter Sheets without you, Emma and I. We didn't even talk about this in the pod.
Speaker 1:
[61:48] Oh, yeah. Patreon had a bunch of people over at Quarter Sheets.
Speaker 3:
[61:52] My buddy Sam at Patreon invited us. I happened to be, I was out of town. I was at Casa Bonita that same time.
Speaker 2:
[61:58] You were at Casa Bonita. You had some niece going on or some shit.
Speaker 5:
[62:02] I had to meet my newborn niece.
Speaker 2:
[62:04] The newest member of Muddy Bank or whatever the fuck you live.
Speaker 1:
[62:11] That's great.
Speaker 2:
[62:12] No, Emma and I had a, we had a great time.
Speaker 1:
[62:15] It was a great meal. It was the first time I ever sat down at Quarter Sheets. I've only taken out, so it was fun to sit. Tiny little spot.
Speaker 2:
[62:21] I know the owners, but my favorite restaurant in LA. I'm saying I know them, but I also, it is my favorite restaurant in LA. Quarter Sheets.
Speaker 1:
[62:27] It's a great meal, 10 out of 10. It's like a pizza place, but it's also like a full blown Italian meal. We got like salad and asparagus and that's great.
Speaker 2:
[62:35] Meatballs.
Speaker 1:
[62:36] Meatballs, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[62:37] Sounds pretty good.
Speaker 2:
[62:38] And fantastic desserts, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[62:40] What do you like besides like pizza as New York wise? Like, do you have any go-tos?
Speaker 2:
[62:45] The hot nuts. Do you ever eat the hot, we always ask about the hot nuts.
Speaker 4:
[62:49] I like nuts for nuts.
Speaker 2:
[62:50] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[62:52] I don't, I can't remember the last time I actually bought nuts for nuts, nuts.
Speaker 3:
[62:57] Yeah, who are the hot nuts for?
Speaker 2:
[62:58] The hot nuts, I wanted to get them and then you had to remind me that you were allergic to peanuts. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[63:03] Maybe those are fun.
Speaker 2:
[63:05] Honestly.
Speaker 3:
[63:05] That could be it.
Speaker 4:
[63:07] I'm trying to think what else.
Speaker 2:
[63:08] Were those around always like hot dogs? Or like the nuts for nuts thing? Have they been around forever?
Speaker 3:
[63:14] I'd like they came around at a certain point. I feel like they were there. Maybe they were there always.
Speaker 2:
[63:19] I have no idea.
Speaker 3:
[63:20] I don't live there. Why am I trying to guess?
Speaker 4:
[63:22] I can't remember a time that they weren't there.
Speaker 2:
[63:24] Okay.
Speaker 4:
[63:26] But I don't eat those very...
Speaker 3:
[63:29] Are you like a halal cart person?
Speaker 4:
[63:31] I do like Mamoons. If we're talking about places next to the comedy cellar, Mamoons is really good. And then I like a Chinese hot pot situation. And there's a lot of that in New York. There's probably a bunch of that out here too.
Speaker 3:
[63:46] There is, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[63:46] But I just don't know the spots yet.
Speaker 2:
[63:49] There's, how do you, I'm going to mispronounce it. Xi'an, the famous...
Speaker 1:
[63:54] John's famous food?
Speaker 3:
[63:55] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[63:56] I still think about that. I still think about that meal. It was so good.
Speaker 3:
[64:00] Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 2:
[64:01] Hanford gave it like two forks or something.
Speaker 3:
[64:03] Right.
Speaker 2:
[64:04] He did some, he pulled some bullshit.
Speaker 4:
[64:06] Who gave it two forks?
Speaker 3:
[64:08] My buddy Mike Hanford.
Speaker 2:
[64:09] Hanford also is a guy who like eats raw shit. He's like, not purposely, but like he's like, he doesn't like food. He's one of these people who doesn't like, Hanford doesn't like food.
Speaker 3:
[64:18] Right.
Speaker 2:
[64:19] He like doesn't, he like eats food for nourishment. And like, he's just like, I'm going to grill up some chicken again. You know, like that's, like, I don't think he enjoys it as much as other people.
Speaker 3:
[64:28] He went to-
Speaker 2:
[64:29] And man, don't get mad at me. It's the truth though.
Speaker 3:
[64:32] He went to John's famous foods and he like ordered like a side of white rice and then ate it with like McDonald's barbecue sauce. Like it's like, it's like that sort of thing, you know? Is it not really a fair assessment?
Speaker 4:
[64:42] I would revoke that fork rating if you just get white rice from a place, come on.
Speaker 3:
[64:47] It's unfortunately canonical.
Speaker 2:
[64:48] It's canonical, unfortunately. It's not in the Golden Play Club. I want to revisit it. I loved it.
Speaker 4:
[64:53] I think that's a projection of his own internal fork rating.
Speaker 2:
[65:00] Do you ever see Hanford in the, in stand up in New York? Do you guys ever run into each other?
Speaker 4:
[65:05] I've seen him, not recently, but that's not a reflection of him. I feel like I've seen him at a couple of places in Brooklyn. He's super funny, but will I trust his restaurant recommendations? Questionable.
Speaker 3:
[65:21] Yeah, you should not.
Speaker 4:
[65:21] Yeah. Do you know any good white rice places?
Speaker 2:
[65:28] Do you perform at the comedy store occasionally? Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[65:31] Out here?
Speaker 2:
[65:31] Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:
[65:32] I'm at the comedy cellar. Yes. Then in Brooklyn, Union Hall, the Bell House, Littlefield, places like that.
Speaker 3:
[65:40] We were at the Bell House to the George Lucas talk show. A lot of fun.
Speaker 4:
[65:42] Oh, that's fun.
Speaker 3:
[65:43] Great venue.
Speaker 2:
[65:43] Great venue.
Speaker 4:
[65:44] Yeah, I like it there.
Speaker 3:
[65:48] Here's a question for you. You're out there in the city, you're doing shows, maybe you're going up and you got a late slot and it's like all of a sudden after midnight, you got to eat some approximation of a dinner. What do you go to?
Speaker 4:
[66:07] Well, the restaurant above the comedy seller, the Olive Tree, they serve food pretty late. There's one thing there that I would credit the comedian Tom Papa for, Nachos Tom Papa, which is, have you heard about this already?
Speaker 2:
[66:22] No.
Speaker 4:
[66:22] You guys heard about this?
Speaker 2:
[66:23] No.
Speaker 4:
[66:23] It's nachos that are basically deconstructed. So it's the cheese on the chips, but the rest of the stuff is in its own separate side cups.
Speaker 2:
[66:32] I like that. I like that a lot.
Speaker 4:
[66:34] It's great if you want to exercise control over something because you can put just one sliced jalapeno or you can dip it in all this stuff. And sometimes when you feel like you're spiraling, there's a great comfort in Nachos Tom Papa. It's not on the menu that I know of. But I think you could call it, and they might be like, who's this cool guy?
Speaker 3:
[66:54] That sounds like a blast.
Speaker 2:
[66:56] I love it. Also a very funny person. But I think I like Nachos more that way. I also like a cheese melted on the, like you're getting a fully cheesed piece of tortilla chips.
Speaker 3:
[67:11] Oh, that's funny. I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:
[67:12] So it's like completely melted on there.
Speaker 3:
[67:14] Kind of grafted on there.
Speaker 2:
[67:15] Yes, yeah, that's what I want. And that's like homemade nachos when you were younger. You put Tostitos in the thing and you sprinkle Mexican cheese on it and it just melts the cheese on there.
Speaker 3:
[67:23] You ever make that in the oven?
Speaker 2:
[67:25] Way better, yeah, it's way better than my oven.
Speaker 4:
[67:26] And then leaving it, like doing it well done is a, it's like such a, elevates the whole, and you can make a meal out of nachos if you do it right.
Speaker 3:
[67:35] You can make a meal out of nachos if you do it right.
Speaker 4:
[67:37] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[67:39] It's true.
Speaker 4:
[67:40] It is, this is just facts. I have nothing to add.
Speaker 2:
[67:43] It's true, get off our backs. It's a meal.
Speaker 3:
[67:45] Leave us alone, you can do it.
Speaker 2:
[67:47] Take it out with Tom Papa. It's a meal.
Speaker 3:
[67:51] Did you see the Will Arnett movie, the Bradley Cooper film?
Speaker 2:
[67:53] Actually, I disagree. I don't think it's a meal.
Speaker 4:
[67:55] You don't? What if you put chicken and stuff on it?
Speaker 3:
[67:57] It could absolutely be a meal.
Speaker 2:
[67:59] It's not enough for me.
Speaker 3:
[67:59] You're getting nachos as a meal?
Speaker 2:
[68:00] No, you know what? Fuck both of you. I don't like it.
Speaker 1:
[68:03] We make nachos as a meal in our house all the time.
Speaker 2:
[68:05] Well, you guys are wrong. It's a snack you're having.
Speaker 1:
[68:07] Loaded up with a full sheet tray, two people loaded up with chicken and beef.
Speaker 2:
[68:10] I know Skid's got my back.
Speaker 1:
[68:11] Some avocado, some like-
Speaker 2:
[68:13] Skid's got my back. Skid's got my back.
Speaker 3:
[68:16] When Baja Fresh-
Speaker 2:
[68:17] Do you stay in silent over there? I know it's not good a lot of the time.
Speaker 3:
[68:21] When Baja Fresh didn't suck.
Speaker 1:
[68:23] What if they're nachos, like Italian nachos?
Speaker 5:
[68:25] It doesn't matter. I think they're side piece.
Speaker 1:
[68:27] I don't know.
Speaker 2:
[68:29] Side piece.
Speaker 3:
[68:31] In the heyday of Baja Fresh, they had really good nachos. And if you got one of those nachos, cause they were intended to be shared by like four people as an appetizer. If you got that as a dish for one, it absolutely would be a meal. You're essentially getting the exact same thing as the ingredients of a burrito. They're just delivered in chip form. It's like saying that, you know, chilaquiles aren't a meal because they got chips in them. You can have chips can be a meal.
Speaker 2:
[68:53] That's fucking bullshit. It's eggs. Chilaquiles are eggs.
Speaker 3:
[68:56] Well, you can put fucking carne asada or pollo asada on a nachos and they're fucking a meal.
Speaker 1:
[69:04] He's so mad.
Speaker 2:
[69:05] Well, guess what? French fries are a main course too, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 3:
[69:08] You can make French fries a main course. That's disgusting. Carne asada fries could be a main course.
Speaker 4:
[69:13] That's insane. I have to side with Wiger on this one. I think this is... Why don't you go egg your nachos at home, okay?
Speaker 5:
[69:20] So by that logic, you could have like seven Twinkies and that's a meal.
Speaker 4:
[69:23] No, because...
Speaker 1:
[69:24] This is not by that logic.
Speaker 2:
[69:25] Hey, you put some chicken on there, you could do it. That's what you're saying.
Speaker 4:
[69:28] He's saying this just to get a rise out of us.
Speaker 2:
[69:31] I'm with meals here.
Speaker 1:
[69:32] Nachos have veggies, they have dairy, they have protein, they have all the different food groups.
Speaker 3:
[69:38] You have dietary fiber from the beans.
Speaker 4:
[69:40] Corn chips, corn is a grain.
Speaker 3:
[69:43] There you go.
Speaker 2:
[69:43] It's a side piece.
Speaker 5:
[69:44] It's a side piece.
Speaker 2:
[69:46] You're sharing it with your friends, you're having pieces.
Speaker 3:
[69:48] What about a quesadilla?
Speaker 1:
[69:49] Side piece.
Speaker 3:
[69:51] See, that's what I was gonna say. It's oftentimes the appetizer menu, but to me, that could be an entree.
Speaker 4:
[69:55] I think that's an entree as well.
Speaker 2:
[69:56] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[69:57] If you put some meat in there.
Speaker 5:
[69:58] That could go meal mode, quesadilla.
Speaker 2:
[70:02] I'm more on the quesadilla being a meal mode.
Speaker 3:
[70:05] Now, hold on just a minute here. You're saying both of these items are on the appetizer section of the menu at a restaurant, yet only one of them qualifies as an entree.
Speaker 1:
[70:15] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 4:
[70:16] Are we in the bayou right now? I do declare.
Speaker 2:
[70:27] I think we found ourselves in a glass on you. It's so funny that he's like, I don't want to be James Bond anymore instead I'm going to be this annoying Southern dork.
Speaker 3:
[70:39] Oh, I like Ben Bobblock. Oh, no, fuck you. I like Ben Bobblock.
Speaker 2:
[70:41] James Bond is so much cooler than the fucking, well, dude, that's fucking bullshit.
Speaker 3:
[70:46] I love that Daniel Craig decided you want to be a mad TV character in a bunch of mystery movies. I think it's really fun.
Speaker 2:
[70:51] Hey, do you want to be one of the coolest guys, coolest spies ever? Do you want to be fucking, who's the guy from the Looney Tunes guy who, what's his name?
Speaker 3:
[71:00] Foghorn Leghorn.
Speaker 2:
[71:02] He chose Foghorn Leghorn over James Bond.
Speaker 3:
[71:06] I would too, that seems more fun. I like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 2:
[71:09] No, you don't.
Speaker 3:
[71:09] Yes, I do.
Speaker 2:
[71:10] You do not like Benoit Blanc. Now I'm mad at you, that's insane. You do not like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 4:
[71:15] Nachos are a meal and he likes Benoit Blanc, okay.
Speaker 2:
[71:17] You know what, if that's the world you live in, fuck that, the world deserves to end, that's bullshit.
Speaker 4:
[71:23] I'm happy to be a middle point where I think nachos are a meal but I don't like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 2:
[71:28] Wow.
Speaker 4:
[71:29] And I only said I do declare because I don't know how to do Bayou voice.
Speaker 2:
[71:34] I will take nachos are a meal before I will take Benoit Blanc is a good character.
Speaker 3:
[71:39] That's insane.
Speaker 2:
[71:41] Benoit Blanc is a dumb shitty character. I'm sorry. You guys are idiots. If you like Benoit Blanc, Benoit Blanc, I've heard bad things.
Speaker 3:
[71:54] You could be, I just thought you're a working actor. You could very easily be in Knives Out 4.
Speaker 2:
[71:58] I don't want to be in Knives Out. Fuck that guy. I'm sorry, Ryan. I call them Ryan Murphy. I'm Brian Johnson. I don't even have anything against you. But I do think Benoit Blanc is dumb. You know what? You can think my podcast is dumb or some things. We've become too sensitive.
Speaker 3:
[72:13] It's okay to dislike things, but I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:
[72:16] Benoit Blanc is so stupid.
Speaker 3:
[72:18] I like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 2:
[72:19] Benoit Blanc is stupid.
Speaker 4:
[72:20] You know who else I like?
Speaker 3:
[72:21] The greatest detective in the world, Hiccuparo. Hiccuparo is fun.
Speaker 4:
[72:26] You know what?
Speaker 2:
[72:27] And you're my friend. I'll tell you, Sherlock Crumb sucks. It was hard for me to say it, but Sherlock Crumb sucks.
Speaker 1:
[72:39] Emmy has no fucking clue what Sherlock Crumb is.
Speaker 2:
[72:41] Sherlock Crumb is a character Wiggs does, and it sucks. It's bad.
Speaker 3:
[72:45] Fine, we're laying it out there. You know what else sucks?
Speaker 2:
[72:49] Alright, no, you've gone too far.
Speaker 3:
[72:51] hack.
Speaker 2:
[72:52] ****. great. Also, you're going to have to bleep that because no one knows who **** is.
Speaker 3:
[72:58] That's alright, we'll bleep it. That was just for us.
Speaker 2:
[72:59] We'll bleep all of it.
Speaker 4:
[73:02] You know who my favorite detective is?
Speaker 2:
[73:04] Who's that?
Speaker 4:
[73:04] Adrian Monk.
Speaker 2:
[73:07] Monk is good.
Speaker 3:
[73:08] Monk is so good.
Speaker 2:
[73:08] Monk is good. Monk is good.
Speaker 3:
[73:10] Emmy once again representing the radical centrism that we need in this country. Someone to represent the moderate majority.
Speaker 2:
[73:17] Are you cool with representing the centrist?
Speaker 3:
[73:21] The people who, the link nachos are a meal, but don't like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 4:
[73:25] I think Benoit should get eaten by gators. I'm gonna bring it back to the bayou.
Speaker 2:
[73:35] Benoit Blanc, is that, was that too mean? Benoit Blanc is pretty stupid, right?
Speaker 1:
[73:39] I just like Benoit Blanc.
Speaker 4:
[73:41] I don't like either of those movies.
Speaker 2:
[73:43] Yeah, they're stupid.
Speaker 4:
[73:43] But I also don't stand a chance of being cast in them.
Speaker 2:
[73:46] So, you have more on the line. I mean, I'm not gonna be cast in a Ryan Johnson thing. Look, he's a prob, I have no beef with Ryan Johnson. He can make, like, God bless him, he's making movies.
Speaker 3:
[73:57] But you're not the biggest fan of Benoit Blanc or The Last Jedi.
Speaker 2:
[74:00] I don't like The Last Jedi, I don't like Benoit Blanc, but also, he probably doesn't like a ton of shit I do. He doesn't even know who I am. That's the other big thing.
Speaker 3:
[74:06] I bet he knows who you are.
Speaker 2:
[74:07] You think so? You think he's sad that I made fun of The Last Jedi or?
Speaker 3:
[74:11] I think he's out there posting No Stew No Stream. Benoit Blanc should get to the bottom of this mystery of why Peacock got into this black character.
Speaker 4:
[74:21] I don't have a tenth minute to learn this accent.
Speaker 2:
[74:25] Stew is from the Bayou, I mean, I shot down the Bayou too. Really? Oh yeah, I was down in the Bayou.
Speaker 4:
[74:30] Were you doing the accent?
Speaker 2:
[74:32] You know, not openly.
Speaker 3:
[74:34] The accent kind of comes and goes when you're down in the Bayou.
Speaker 2:
[74:39] I, you know, if Ryan Johnson was like, I don't like Stew, I'd be like, that's okay, Ryan Johnson, that's fine.
Speaker 3:
[74:45] I think you'd be like, fuck that guy.
Speaker 4:
[74:46] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[74:49] You're right.
Speaker 3:
[74:50] But you don't sound like Benoit Blanc either, piece of shit.
Speaker 4:
[74:53] You're not my real cruel dad.
Speaker 2:
[74:58] From all accounts, Ryan Johnson is a nice person, it seems like. So I am not trying to... I have no beef anymore. I don't. I have no, I don't have beef anymore.
Speaker 3:
[75:10] Yeah, except in your diet.
Speaker 2:
[75:12] I did have, at Holy Basil today, I did have a nice, a great spot. What'd you order? Ooh, shit. I'm not gonna remember the name of it, but it was just, it was rice and then shredded beef.
Speaker 3:
[75:23] Okay.
Speaker 4:
[75:23] Was the placemat filthy or?
Speaker 2:
[75:25] No. Oh, those are the other plates? This is the other place, that was the front. This place was fucking delicious. Check it out, if you have a, you can play a time, Holy Basil. You got time to check out my CPAP mask and Holy Basil.
Speaker 4:
[75:35] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[75:35] Are you a Thai food enthusiast?
Speaker 4:
[75:37] I like Thai food. I think that's one of the things LA has better than New York.
Speaker 3:
[75:41] I would concur, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[75:44] I used to go to Thai patio, but then the last time I went there, they had a musician playing the keyboard to a basically empty dining room and he was playing Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends. It's more memorable than what I ate.
Speaker 3:
[76:00] Was it a piano only rendition?
Speaker 4:
[76:02] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[76:03] Wow. I want to hear it honestly.
Speaker 4:
[76:07] Picture like nice and high key.
Speaker 2:
[76:11] I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you do like make the sound of the, I wasn't trying to make you try to.
Speaker 4:
[76:16] It was flopping through that bayou shit. You think I can do? A Green Day?
Speaker 2:
[76:24] Where do you? I saw Green Day in Toronto with Samoa Joe and it was a very fun show. Did you ever want to act? Were you ever into the acting side of stuff or were you, well, Jimmy's cleaning my jeans.
Speaker 4:
[76:36] Oh, Jimmy.
Speaker 3:
[76:38] I remember you wearing a horse mask on that midnight bit.
Speaker 4:
[76:41] Wow, you have a great memory. That was, I will do any acting, but he requests of me.
Speaker 2:
[76:47] Okay.
Speaker 4:
[76:47] But I don't receive a lot of requests. I think the last request I got was, hey, wear this suffocating horse mask for a non-speaking horse role.
Speaker 2:
[77:01] I was George Lucas. I had a blast.
Speaker 3:
[77:03] That's right. I think Emmy might have departed the show by that point.
Speaker 2:
[77:08] Because of that decision to have me play George Lucas.
Speaker 4:
[77:10] Is the real George Lucas not available?
Speaker 3:
[77:13] Yeah. That was the first ask and then they went to Mitch and-
Speaker 2:
[77:17] I was the second ask after George Lucas. I love that.
Speaker 3:
[77:21] You did. No, but you crushed it. That was so fun.
Speaker 2:
[77:23] Thank you, Wiggs. Also, Wiggs spoke up for me.
Speaker 4:
[77:26] That's very nice.
Speaker 2:
[77:29] Gra-Pow. G-R-A-P-O-W. Gra-Pow. Gra-Pow Wigoo. Wigew beef.
Speaker 3:
[77:37] Wigew.
Speaker 2:
[77:37] Yeah, like Wigew beef. Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[77:39] That sounds very good. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[77:41] It was delicious. A lot of great food out here. There's a lot of good, but you said you're buying groceries for the first time.
Speaker 4:
[77:48] I am sucked into Erewhon when I'm here. I can't help it because that's another thing. New York, there's a store now called Happier Grocery that's trying to do what Erewhon does. But you get all these glass bottles and then you have to navigate narrow busy streets and you might accidentally smash your glass bottles into like a light post or something. Then in my case, it was a $20 bottle of turkey chili that had shattered in the vat and the glass, the chili, you're like, why did I do this to myself? So here you can really.
Speaker 2:
[78:26] That's what's happening. That was a little kind of like a Mr. Sits Uncomfortable. There is, this is too long. I've already told this story a million times on the, or just recently twice.
Speaker 3:
[78:39] On the podcast, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[78:41] But there was a guy who was like, came to like who I knew from college. She was like a very like, I'm a cool guy. And he was like, I'm gonna do something at the show in at UCB. I was, there was a show called Not Too Shabby.
Speaker 3:
[78:54] It's like an open Mike sketch and character show.
Speaker 2:
[78:56] And he did this thing called, and he went out on stage. He went, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. Mr. Sits on uncomfortable things, sits on uncomfortable things. And then he sat on a orange cone and went, yo! And then the lights went out and the theater went dead silent. But Amelia now says it's good. And everyone has rallied behind her and says it's good on mine.
Speaker 5:
[79:20] I think it's legitimately and ironically funny.
Speaker 2:
[79:25] I mean, and then like you did it, it was funny. You did it in the pool in Orlando and you were making us laugh. It was really good. You were making us laugh.
Speaker 3:
[79:32] It crushed on the pool.
Speaker 2:
[79:33] It was, it was fucking going. I still thought, I thought it was bad still. It should have got my thing with the chili of eating and going, yeah, it was the same thing.
Speaker 4:
[79:43] Mr. Eats glass in his soup.
Speaker 2:
[79:49] Chili is not fucking soup, right Amelia?
Speaker 1:
[79:52] Whoa.
Speaker 3:
[79:52] Whoa.
Speaker 5:
[79:53] Whoa. Uh, okay, yeah, I can rally behind that.
Speaker 1:
[79:57] Do you eat it with a fork or a spoon?
Speaker 3:
[79:59] I guess it's not soup.
Speaker 4:
[79:59] Amelia blink twice if you feel like you're being pressured into certain food stances.
Speaker 2:
[80:03] Ha ha ha ha. She blinked once. Okay. Which I don't know what that means. Did we do a soup month?
Speaker 3:
[80:08] We did a soup month, didn't we?
Speaker 2:
[80:09] Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[80:10] I think during the soup month we said-
Speaker 2:
[80:11] Yeah, when the, you don't remember when we did soups?
Speaker 3:
[80:13] No, I think during the soup month we said-
Speaker 2:
[80:15] We said that chilies are allowed.
Speaker 3:
[80:17] Yeah, we said chilies weren't allowed, but chilies weren't toxinomically soups.
Speaker 2:
[80:20] Yes, I don't think chilies are soups.
Speaker 3:
[80:23] But they're soup-like.
Speaker 2:
[80:24] Do you disagree with us?
Speaker 4:
[80:25] Well, what are they if they're not soups?
Speaker 3:
[80:27] They're chili.
Speaker 1:
[80:27] It's like stew.
Speaker 4:
[80:29] But stew, I would say, is in the soup category.
Speaker 1:
[80:32] No stew, no stream.
Speaker 4:
[80:36] No stew, no soup. For you. I think that's a soup. I think stew's a soup. I think chili's a soup.
Speaker 1:
[80:42] I can't think of any other soups that you would put on a hot dog or on french fries.
Speaker 5:
[80:47] I would put clam chowder on a hot dog.
Speaker 3:
[80:49] We know you're eating sick.
Speaker 1:
[80:50] Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 4:
[80:52] That's Italian nachos.
Speaker 1:
[80:55] Is chili like a chowder? It's like a thicker soup.
Speaker 2:
[80:58] Are chili cheese fries an entree?
Speaker 3:
[81:01] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[81:01] No. Yeah, no.
Speaker 3:
[81:02] If you have a huge fucking Tommy burger chili cheese fries with a whole bunch of chili, meaty chili, and a big amount of cheese on it.
Speaker 2:
[81:09] I'm not saying you're a gross, big, fat fuck for eating that. I'm just saying that is not an entree.
Speaker 1:
[81:14] What if I got a bowl of chili and a side of fries? Is that a meal?
Speaker 2:
[81:18] No.
Speaker 3:
[81:19] I think that's a meal.
Speaker 1:
[81:20] It feels like a meal.
Speaker 4:
[81:21] I think that's a meal too.
Speaker 2:
[81:22] Fuck, it is a meal. It is.
Speaker 1:
[81:25] So if I dump the chili onto the fries, is that a meal?
Speaker 4:
[81:27] It's a meal, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[81:27] So if she were to transfer the chili from the container where it was being held onto the fries, to make some sort of chili fries, would that be an entree?
Speaker 2:
[81:39] I hate, I hate Sherlock Croms. We got to talk about the restaurant.
Speaker 3:
[81:54] Hey, buddy, you know when you just want something comforting after a long day, like the day we just had today, Mitch?
Speaker 2:
[81:58] That's right, Wags.
Speaker 3:
[81:59] Recording a lot of Doughboys episodes here in the Content Minds. Well, that's when we turn to good ols. It has all the nostalgia, the mac and cheese we grew up with, but with ingredients that make me feel good. Each serving is packed with protein, fiber, and essential vitamins and minerals, and tastes amazing. Mitch, I like good ols, I eat good ols all the time. I've eaten good ols twice this past week.
Speaker 2:
[82:18] Wags, I might eat some good ols tonight. I might go home and make some good ols because they got the little microwave ones. You can toss them in the microwave, it's ready in just a few minutes.
Speaker 3:
[82:25] And you just had a long day, so.
Speaker 2:
[82:27] I did have a long day. Time to go into the content mines, let's go boys.
Speaker 3:
[82:35] Every serving of good ols mac and cheese has protein, fiber with prebiotics and vitamins and minerals from real plant sources. Almost all good ols products are low glycemic index, so you can get steady energy instead of a carb crash.
Speaker 2:
[82:46] Plus, it's clean label purity award certified, which means it's been tested for over 400 different contaminants and good ols meats, their highest standard wigs.
Speaker 3:
[82:58] There is something for everyone with an amazing variety of flavors, including vegan and gluten-free options.
Speaker 2:
[83:03] It's time to get some good ols for yourself. We know you'll love them as much as we do, right wigs? Pick up good ols mac and cheese and pasta on your next shopping trip, available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Wow.
Speaker 3:
[83:22] Oh, Mitch, these days on the Internet, I'm browsing, streaming, shopping, gaming, and I realize that every click I make online is being tracked. And I don't like being watched. In fact, nobody likes being watched, even if you have nothing to hide, but especially if you do.
Speaker 2:
[83:39] That's right, wigs. Every people are always watching you. You got to be careful. You don't want your information to get out into the world. And if you want to keep your browsing private, reduce your digital footprint and increase your online security, the NordVPN is the perfect solution.
Speaker 3:
[83:54] Digital footprint reducing, online security increasing. A VPN reroutes your internet traffic through a secure server, encrypting your data and hiding your real IP address. That means better privacy, better security and no one knowing where you're actually browsing from. Mitch, we both use VPNs. VPNs are really handy for, especially for me. I like to, I'm a big anime fan and I'm a big film fan and a lot of films are not available for domestic distribution, but you can watch them overseas.
Speaker 2:
[84:22] Sexy Minion Rule 34 search now hidden from public.
Speaker 3:
[84:32] You've also used VPNs while you're traveling.
Speaker 2:
[84:33] I did when I was in Canada, I was shooting a show. We'll never shoot again. I was using NordVPN and I was watching some shows up there. I was using some of the apps I use. It was great, Wags. It made me feel right back at home in the old US of A.
Speaker 3:
[84:52] NordVPN makes it very simple. Just one click to connect and enjoy fast speeds and access to over 8,900 servers across 129 countries. So you can switch your virtual location anytime. It's great for protecting your data on public wifi, accessing your streaming services while traveling, avoiding ISP throttling and keeping your online identity private. One account even covers up to 10 devices across all major platforms.
Speaker 2:
[85:13] To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com/doughboys.
Speaker 3:
[85:18] Our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box. Mitch, a thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where quince shines. Premium fabrics, considered design, and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change.
Speaker 2:
[85:41] Quince has the everyday essentials we love with quality that lasts. Lightweight cashmere sweaters, short sleeve Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts, tees and 100% Pima cotton and European jersey linen. These are the versatile pieces that make a wardrobe actually work season to season.
Speaker 3:
[86:00] And you know what else they got? Cashmere hat. That's right, this cashmere hat I'm wearing right here.
Speaker 2:
[86:06] You nearly look like Sherlock Crumbs, my favorite detective.
Speaker 3:
[86:09] Quince Works with Top Factories cutting out middle bed. You're not paying for brand markups or retail stores, just quality clothing. The cashmere is 100% Mongolian, like luxury brands use. The Pima cotton is long staple for softness and no pilling. The European jersey linen is breathable and lightweight, all designed to withstand regular wear and still look good.
Speaker 2:
[86:28] Their clothing is rated between 4.5 and 5 stars by thousands of people wearing it every day, and they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Wigs, we both like Quince. You got your hat on. I got some great clothes from Quince. Jemmy's blanket's from Quince.
Speaker 3:
[86:48] That's right. The blanket that Jemmy is having a comfortable sort of rest on is a Quince blanket.
Speaker 2:
[86:54] That is a comfortable sort of rest.
Speaker 3:
[86:55] It's a comfortable sort of rest. I was going to say snooze, but then I saw her eyes were open. But she's still enjoying herself.
Speaker 2:
[87:01] She's ready to go home.
Speaker 3:
[87:02] She's ready to go home. We've had a long day here in the content mines.
Speaker 2:
[87:07] Right now, go to quince.com/doughboys for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada too, eh?
Speaker 3:
[87:20] Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to quince.com/doughboys for free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com/doughboys.
Speaker 2:
[87:30] Like Quincy, but with an E instead of a Y.
Speaker 3:
[87:38] Where's ice cream in your dessert hierarchy?
Speaker 4:
[87:41] It depended entirely on the source of the ice cream. Is where it lands in my hierarchy.
Speaker 3:
[87:46] Good ice cream for me is number one.
Speaker 4:
[87:47] Good ice cream can be number one for me too. I'm not saying that that's what we had for this episode.
Speaker 3:
[87:53] Today we had Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[87:55] Oh my god, the shade.
Speaker 3:
[87:56] Was founded in 1945 in Glendale by Burt Baskin and Irv Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[88:01] How about that? Did I throw my empty dish into that?
Speaker 4:
[88:03] By Carole Baskin.
Speaker 3:
[88:04] It wasn't Carole Baskin.
Speaker 2:
[88:05] It was the tiger, the tiger king lady?
Speaker 4:
[88:08] That bitch Carole Baskin.
Speaker 3:
[88:11] It merged with Dunkin Donuts in 1994 to form Dunkin Brands. And there are co-branded stores that have both Dunkin Donuts and Baskin Robbins. In 2020, Dunkin Brands itself was acquired by Inspire Brands, which also owns Arby's, B-Dub's and Jimmy John.
Speaker 2:
[88:26] This is where things went sideways.
Speaker 3:
[88:28] Here's another thing. I did not know this about Baskin-Robbins before this episode. Famous former employee, Barack Obama. How about that?
Speaker 2:
[88:37] Wow.
Speaker 3:
[88:38] Uh, would you like to eat?
Speaker 4:
[88:40] Baskin-Robbins. Edit that out.
Speaker 2:
[88:45] I loved it.
Speaker 4:
[88:50] That is fascinating. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[88:51] How about that? How about some rocky road? I just did your joke again. Sorry.
Speaker 3:
[89:03] So we walked over. There's one, a stone's throw from the Headgum headquarters.
Speaker 2:
[89:08] From Baskin-Robbins to Netflix producer.
Speaker 3:
[89:12] What a journey.
Speaker 2:
[89:12] What a journey for Barack Obama. There was a pit stop of president on the way as well.
Speaker 3:
[89:17] He's president for a little bit.
Speaker 2:
[89:18] Now he's also Netflix producer.
Speaker 3:
[89:21] How weird to work at Baskin-Robbins at the start of your career and then the end of it work with Adam Conover. Life is amazing.
Speaker 2:
[89:34] Life is a Harold, as they say.
Speaker 3:
[89:35] Life is a Harold, as they say. So we walked over there. We each got triple scoops, because we wanted, less so because we wanted to eat three scoops of ice cream, which is a lot.
Speaker 4:
[89:45] It's more of a divide and conquer to try to cover more flavors.
Speaker 3:
[89:48] Cover more flavors, because you can sample flavors, but a single bite is not the same as having a scoop.
Speaker 2:
[89:55] Hey, Mr. Kroll, I read the newest season of Big Mouth. Very funny stuff. I think you could maybe put it in a scene where the pubes sing at one point. That's Barack Obama giving notes on Big Mouth. He's giving notes on Big Mouth. A show which is now off the air. He is a producer and he's with Netflix, right? Doesn't he have a deal at Netflix?
Speaker 3:
[90:14] Yeah, but I don't think his production company makes Big Mouth.
Speaker 2:
[90:17] I know they don't make Big Mouth. I knew that was a joke.
Speaker 4:
[90:22] What if Barack Obama calls you and he's like, I didn't appreciate you attributing Talking Pubes to me.
Speaker 2:
[90:31] You won't be on the next season of the Larry David history, whatever the fuck show.
Speaker 3:
[90:36] The Talking Pubes was actually a Joe Mandy pitch.
Speaker 2:
[90:40] We're going to get Mandy, we're going to get Kroll in here. We never had Kroll on the podcast. We get Mandy and Kroll in.
Speaker 3:
[90:47] We've had Mandy a few times. So I got the Cookie Monster, which look, one of my favorite flavors at Handles is they have their Blue Monster, which is their version of this. It's a blue dyed vanilla ice cream that's got a few different cookie varietals blended in. At Handles, it is Oreo bits as well as Chippahoy bits. Here, it's more of an amalgamation of different cookies, but I thought it was really good. To me, that was the highlight. This was my favorite of the flavors.
Speaker 2:
[91:16] I got to tell you, I love Handles. Handles, I think, is better than Baskin-Robbins. Handles, just so you know that.
Speaker 3:
[91:24] Definitely better than Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[91:25] I like Cookie Monster better than I like their Blue Cookie one.
Speaker 3:
[91:27] I think that's reasonable. I think Handles just uses a better caliber of ingredients.
Speaker 2:
[91:31] A thousand percent.
Speaker 3:
[91:32] I just kind of like the cream, the ice cream part of their Blue Monster more.
Speaker 2:
[91:35] Sometimes you're like a Snickers bar over some, you know.
Speaker 3:
[91:37] Yeah, totally reasonable. I like this flavor a lot, so I'm not going to fight you on that. The icing on the cake, look, I love birthday flavor, and this was a good birthday cake version. Nice, there's some good chunks in here. The thing they have right now, which is a seasonal item, which I'm generally just frustrated and baffled by its sudden omnipresence. They have a Dubai chocolate flavor right now, Dubai Pistachio Chocolate. This sucked, this was fucking horrible.
Speaker 5:
[92:05] It was rough.
Speaker 3:
[92:06] This was the ice cream flavor I just flat out did not enjoy.
Speaker 2:
[92:11] Have you heard things about Dubai Chocolate that in a way, we're talking about fronts earlier, but Dubai Chocolate was like a thing to get people more comfortable with Dubai.
Speaker 3:
[92:26] Yeah, no doubt, no doubt it's part of its market.
Speaker 2:
[92:28] But that's like what the whole push of it is, is apparently like.
Speaker 3:
[92:32] It's totally astroturfed. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[92:33] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[92:34] Came out of nowhere and be like, oh yeah, Dubai Chocolate, this thing exists. What the fuck are you talking about? Have you had Dubai Chocolate prior to this?
Speaker 4:
[92:40] I have, but I feel like I haven't had really good Dubai Chocolate. I've had it from a bodega where it's the last thing at the register, and you're like, why don't I throw this in and see.
Speaker 3:
[92:50] I'll impulse buy this, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[92:51] Yeah, but I don't think it was like the, I don't know. It's possible that it all is dusty tasting, but I'm sure somebody makes it good somewhere.
Speaker 3:
[93:02] I love pistachios, and I like chocolate.
Speaker 2:
[93:04] I like pistachios, okay. I feel bad about pistachios because my grandma was green, and you're like, that looks like fun. And my grandma loved it, my grandpa loved it, and then I never do, I'll eat a pistachio, I'll be happy with it, but pistachio ice cream itself, I don't know.
Speaker 3:
[93:20] I'm saying from my perspective, I'm bullish about this because I, even though I'm cynical about the Dubai chocolate, I like pistachios, I like pistachio ice cream quite a bit. It's not a go-to for me, but when I have it, I'm always like, oh yeah, I should get this more often. And of course I like chocolate, you know, I'm a vanilla guy, but I'll fuck with some chocolate. But I just feel like this was like, I don't know what's going on. You said it tasted old, which I totally agree with. There's something about it was just like, this just tastes off.
Speaker 2:
[93:49] Tastes a dusty.
Speaker 3:
[93:49] And it was so pistachio forward is the other thing, but like we weren't getting the sweetness of it. You know, you get a pistachio ice cream and it's nice and loaded with sugar.
Speaker 2:
[93:59] I found the conspiracy theory by the way, but go ahead first.
Speaker 4:
[94:02] I was gonna say, I think if you start with really good pistachios, then maybe the end product is better. But these tasted like, this is gonna sound like a slur, but it's not. Old bazinis.
Speaker 3:
[94:14] They tasted like old bazinis.
Speaker 2:
[94:17] Let me tell you, back in my Quincy days, I called a few people some old bazinis. Get the fuck out of here, you old bazini.
Speaker 4:
[94:26] The color of the pistachio was like, it was on the brown side, and you want it to be like bright green. Like when you get a Sicilian pistachio, it's like gorgeous, like, oh, Jemmy's getting up there.
Speaker 2:
[94:38] Jemmy agrees.
Speaker 4:
[94:40] She's going to howl at the moon for my pistachio take.
Speaker 2:
[94:45] I didn't even think about this with the association of it, but it was like an old brown pistachio color.
Speaker 4:
[94:53] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[94:54] And that did not help at all.
Speaker 4:
[94:56] And I had to eat a lot of that blue monster to get the taste out of my mouth. It tasted so much like a cabinet, like when you haven't been to an old musty lake house where you left pistachios a lifetime ago.
Speaker 2:
[95:12] Yes. Not a good cabinet. We're talking Dr. Kili- what's his name? Caligari. Caligari. The Italian knows it.
Speaker 3:
[95:22] I agree.
Speaker 2:
[95:23] I'm really showing what a dumbass I am in the second half here.
Speaker 3:
[95:25] You're doing great.
Speaker 2:
[95:26] Dr. Caligari. Did you watch that at Ithaca?
Speaker 3:
[95:28] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[95:29] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[95:29] Yeah, film A&A.
Speaker 2:
[95:30] Yeah. Boring ass shit.
Speaker 3:
[95:34] I had to do the same thing everywhere as like, I had to eat more Cookie Monster in the aftermath. Thank God I saved some because you want your final bite to be a winner. Absolutely.
Speaker 2:
[95:43] I washed my mouth out with that Cookie Monster too. It was super helpful.
Speaker 3:
[95:48] I was like, this is flat out- I had it. I was like, this is bad. This is disgusting, but I have to have a few more scoops just to confirm.
Speaker 2:
[95:54] She's laughing, thinking of us sucking off the Cookie Monster or some shit back there. Is that what you're laughing at?
Speaker 1:
[95:59] While you were out washing your mouth out with Cookie Monster, it was immediately right.
Speaker 2:
[96:02] I saw her.
Speaker 3:
[96:02] I saw her just smile. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:
[96:05] The Dubai chocolate conspiracy theory suggests that the viral pistachio and kadaya, is that how you say it? I don't know. Filled chocolate trend was not an organic hit, but rather a manufactured marketing ploy or propaganda campaign to whitewash the United Arab Emirates reputation regarding human rights abuses and regional geopolitics. So that's the thing. Who knows if that's real? I don't know if that's real or not. I have no idea. But it is one of those things that was like, have you had Dubai chocolates? And then there was lines at the Americana to get Dubai chocolates.
Speaker 3:
[96:41] It's everywhere on Instagram. I don't know. I'm just naturally suspicious of this.
Speaker 2:
[96:45] Here's the thing. Did we eat Dubai chocolates on the show or no?
Speaker 1:
[96:49] I don't think so. I have had Dubai chocolates before, though. And to your point, they tasted stale to me. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's like something with pistachios or something. It just like didn't hit.
Speaker 4:
[97:01] In my dreams, when it's like made really well, the crunchy part would stay really crunchy and the pistachios would be really good to begin with. But just nobody, the stars have not aligned for me yet.
Speaker 1:
[97:13] I think there's a lot of shitty versions of it out there. Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[97:16] Right. Especially because it gets so popular and everyone's like, well, we got to have her do buy chocolate. It's like, I mean, you can-
Speaker 1:
[97:21] You can speed ran fast food chains, it feels like.
Speaker 2:
[97:23] Right.
Speaker 3:
[97:23] You compared it to Sriracha.
Speaker 2:
[97:25] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[97:25] Because it's like a kind of thing, it was just like, well, it's Sriracha's everywhere. They got Sriracha Jack in the box now. You know what I mean? It just became like this really, this go-to thing that got stale really quick.
Speaker 4:
[97:34] Yeah. It feels like everyone's chasing the trend.
Speaker 3:
[97:38] Right.
Speaker 4:
[97:39] I feel like even when we were probably what, like 15 years ago or maybe longer than that, it was like avocado was enough to be a trend.
Speaker 3:
[97:46] Sure.
Speaker 4:
[97:47] But now-
Speaker 2:
[97:48] It has come a while. I think that we're, you know what I think? I think we're in the trend basement is the issue.
Speaker 3:
[97:54] Wow, the trend basement.
Speaker 4:
[97:55] I like this.
Speaker 2:
[97:56] We're in the trend basement. We've had so much, now people are just like desperately trying to come up with stuff. Like when you're like, you know how you're like, it's like, oh, there's Detroit style pizza. And you're like, ooh, Detroit. And then, you know, like 10 years ago, I was like Detroit style pizza, I gotta try it. I have to go to, when I was in Detroit, I tried buddies and jets. I was very excited about it. And then it's like, St. Louis has a pizza too. Like, of course, every regional spot has a pizza. But I think like eventually it's like, everyone's tried so much of this stuff now. The world is way more connected. You know what I mean? Like everyone kind of knows of all these things. So it's like making up new things or like kind of really niche things that aren't even really real, you know? Like that's, I think that's what's happened with the world of food specifically.
Speaker 3:
[98:39] Doesn't it feel like the Korean corndog trend is like about six months and you're like, I'm kind of done with this.
Speaker 4:
[98:45] And I feel like the ube, like purple, the bright purple color, I feel like had a moment too. And then I read a story that was like where ube is grown is like absolutely obliterated from like Instagram demand.
Speaker 2:
[98:57] Oh my God.
Speaker 4:
[98:58] You know, I, yeah, we're burning through these things.
Speaker 2:
[99:02] Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[99:03] We're speed running, as Emma said. It's just like just going through way too fast.
Speaker 1:
[99:07] It feels like it's very color dependent to like the ube thing is like, it's very pretty in your pictures. The Dubai chocolate, if it's green and bright, very pretty in your picture.
Speaker 3:
[99:14] It is, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[99:14] It's all very like Instagram friendly.
Speaker 2:
[99:16] Are we still running out of almonds? Is almond still an issue? Remember when we were eating so much almonds and almond milk?
Speaker 3:
[99:22] I think pistachios are actually part, are like an issue too right now.
Speaker 2:
[99:25] Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:
[99:26] Cause of this, cause partly cause of this thing.
Speaker 2:
[99:27] I feel like oat milk has taken over almond milk, right?
Speaker 3:
[99:30] Like I like oat milk as a oat milk supremacy over almond milk. I'm very in favor of that.
Speaker 2:
[99:36] Yeah, I feel like, I feel like almond milk is now less, but also it's still hugely popular compared to what it was, whatever, 15 or 20 years ago.
Speaker 3:
[99:43] Why do, I'm gonna sound like a soy boy. Why do we move on from soy milk? Soy milk was fine. There's a surplus of soybeans and a lot of American farmers grow soybeans. And also it's got the most protein of any of these because it comes from fucking beans.
Speaker 2:
[100:00] You know, I like regular milk. Give me that big old cow titty.
Speaker 3:
[100:03] Regular looks fine.
Speaker 2:
[100:04] Yes, lactose-free milk is my favorite. Fresh from the udder, I still like it. If you're not trying to have an animal based thing, I think soy milk is great. I think that that works.
Speaker 4:
[100:18] I do an RFK style raw milk personally.
Speaker 2:
[100:26] This is news today, it will be dated, but he cut off a raccoon's penis.
Speaker 4:
[100:29] I did see that.
Speaker 2:
[100:30] Did you see that?
Speaker 4:
[100:31] And then it's like, then what? Then what, Robert?
Speaker 2:
[100:34] What did you do with it? Did he explain why he cut it off or no?
Speaker 4:
[100:38] I think he's just kind of a sick, twisted man, and he likes chopping up animals and stuff.
Speaker 2:
[100:44] This is like what you read about school shooters, or should we be worried about Robert Kraft? I'm Robert Kraft.
Speaker 4:
[100:50] We should be worried about Robert Kraft.
Speaker 2:
[100:54] My brain is fucking mushed. I mean, I don't think Robert Kraft is gonna...
Speaker 4:
[100:59] He got a massage from a bear, I think.
Speaker 3:
[101:02] Just conflating these things.
Speaker 2:
[101:04] Should be worried about RFK is what I'm saying. Like cutting the dick off a fucking raccoon.
Speaker 3:
[101:08] It is like the animal mutilation you hear about somebody who goes on to be a serial killer. Yeah, it's...
Speaker 2:
[101:13] 100%. Why would you do that?
Speaker 4:
[101:14] Maybe he had Baskin-Robbins Dubai chocolate ice cream and needed to cleanse his palate with some raccoon cock.
Speaker 3:
[101:22] Mitch, you also have the cookie monster. You had what Amelia Transcribed is Ricky Road. I just kept it like that because I liked the phrase.
Speaker 4:
[101:29] No, Ricky Road.
Speaker 2:
[101:30] Ricky Road sounds like a cool... Yeah, that could be a cool six-month trend or something.
Speaker 1:
[101:34] He's in the all-male floor of the sex toy store.
Speaker 3:
[101:42] You know what? Sherlock Crumbs is out of here. Ricky Road is in. New character.
Speaker 2:
[101:46] Here's an idea. Ricky Road vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate ice cream.
Speaker 3:
[101:50] Oh, that's great. Why is it Ricky?
Speaker 2:
[101:53] I don't know. My brain is a mess. But what else would you put in there? You got vanilla ice cream and then nuts and marshmallows.
Speaker 3:
[102:03] Chocolate-covered marshmallows. That's the inversion. Vanilla ice cream, chocolate-covered marshmallows.
Speaker 2:
[102:09] And then a different nut or no?
Speaker 3:
[102:11] Yeah, maybe a different nut.
Speaker 2:
[102:12] What are the... Peanut.
Speaker 3:
[102:14] Could be peanut.
Speaker 2:
[102:14] I know. Sorry. That means you can't have it.
Speaker 3:
[102:16] Could be a pecan.
Speaker 2:
[102:17] Oh, a pecan is not bad. Yeah. Pecan is pretty good.
Speaker 3:
[102:20] I will workshop it. You also got Reese's peanut butter. And then you made that into a sundae with hot fudge, whipped cream and cherry.
Speaker 2:
[102:27] I ordered a three scoop sundae. I'm gonna say this. I was like, I really housed my sundae because I finished it. Here's the truth. I said that, but I didn't want to say this in the store. I got a tiny ass sundae.
Speaker 3:
[102:39] Small as fuck.
Speaker 2:
[102:40] So you had three, do you have three scoops?
Speaker 3:
[102:43] I got three scoops.
Speaker 2:
[102:44] There must be something different than three scoops on a sundae because I had a three scoop sundae and I saw yours and it was three ice cream scoops stacked on top of each other. All three of my scoops were next to each other in the bowl. And so I was like, this is like tiny.
Speaker 1:
[102:58] Because there's had cones in the bowl too?
Speaker 2:
[103:00] No, that was wise.
Speaker 1:
[103:01] I was the only one with a cone bowl.
Speaker 4:
[103:03] But I'm guessing it's to create enough real estate to put whipped cream and stuff.
Speaker 2:
[103:07] And like toppings and all I did was hot fudge and whipped cream and then the cherry on top, which I like a little, I like a basic, I like a basic sundae like that. I mean, hot fudge, whipped cream, cherry on top, I'm good to go. I don't need much else.
Speaker 3:
[103:20] But doesn't that feel like some, you know, late capitalist shit where it's like, oh, I'm paying the upcharge for the sundae. You want me to get less ice cream? What the are you talking about?
Speaker 4:
[103:31] I'd like to know if there's an upcharge for that though. Like if, I wonder if you did the math, if it would be more, I don't know.
Speaker 2:
[103:41] You had a good heaping of ice cream in your three scooper.
Speaker 4:
[103:44] It was far too much.
Speaker 3:
[103:46] Way too much ice cream.
Speaker 4:
[103:47] Yeah, and at a certain point with, I'm going to jump ahead a little bit in my review, which is that at a certain point, these flavors all taste the same. And I found about like three, four bites into each scoop. I was like, I don't know where I am or what I'm having and why is the door handle so sticky?
Speaker 2:
[104:07] You were confused about where you were.
Speaker 4:
[104:09] I traveled through space and time having my three massive scoops. I felt like I was hurdling on a rock.
Speaker 2:
[104:16] I get that. You're a lot of sugar, there's a lot of, it's a sugar bomb, I mean, immediately.
Speaker 3:
[104:22] It's too much. It's, if anything, three flavors, the scoops of that size, unga pochka.
Speaker 4:
[104:29] You said it. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[104:31] I don't need that much ice cream and I love ice cream.
Speaker 2:
[104:33] Well, can I just say something? It's your own fault too. I mean, like you could have gotten just a scoop.
Speaker 3:
[104:38] You're right. We wanted to try a few different flavors so that there was a bit of a skill issue in ordering it.
Speaker 4:
[104:43] It was a self-inflicted Ungepatschka.
Speaker 1:
[104:45] For sure.
Speaker 3:
[104:46] But it was Ungepatschka.
Speaker 1:
[104:47] But I've never heard you call the four scoop sampler from Handel's Ungepatschka.
Speaker 3:
[104:50] Because those are reasonably sized scoops.
Speaker 2:
[104:52] And also separated.
Speaker 3:
[104:53] Very well separated.
Speaker 2:
[104:55] Hey, Tom Papa style. You got to keep them separated.
Speaker 1:
[104:57] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[104:58] Handel's is so good.
Speaker 2:
[104:59] I have been there. You do.
Speaker 1:
[105:02] Careful with that one.
Speaker 2:
[105:04] I was quoting the offspring, you fucking freaks. This is insane.
Speaker 3:
[105:10] You got Jumoka Almond Fudge, you got, I believe it's called Baseball Nut. Yeah. And then Truffle Mango. Now I had some of that, or Triple Mango?
Speaker 4:
[105:16] Triple Mango.
Speaker 2:
[105:16] Offspring, not Jim Crow reference. I want to be fucking clear.
Speaker 3:
[105:27] Mitch was referencing 90s punk, not the Antebellum style.
Speaker 2:
[105:32] Yes.
Speaker 4:
[105:33] Mitch thinks certain scoops should sit in the back of the bus.
Speaker 2:
[105:37] Oh God, my brain.
Speaker 3:
[105:40] I like that Triple Mango. I thought that was good as fuck. And I also, I've had the Jumoka a bunch of times. It's a great, it's a classic flavor. It's a go-to flavor. Natalie loves the Jumoka.
Speaker 4:
[105:48] Jumoka is another, like a bazini, like where you're like, what did you call me?
Speaker 2:
[105:52] Jumoka also does, yeah, seems like a slur in a way.
Speaker 3:
[105:55] What did you think about the-
Speaker 2:
[105:56] Seems like an Italian, it seems a very Italian.
Speaker 4:
[105:58] Hmm, yes.
Speaker 2:
[105:59] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[105:59] Because the baseball nut- The baseball nut, I believe was-
Speaker 4:
[106:03] I'm looking it up.
Speaker 3:
[106:04] It was vanilla with raspberry and then some cashews in it, which was interesting.
Speaker 2:
[106:08] I figured out what it was, which Emmy was impressed for a second.
Speaker 4:
[106:12] He cracked the code.
Speaker 2:
[106:14] Is that it's supposed to look like, it's a vanilla ice cream with those, with the raspberry stripes, and it's supposed to look like an actual baseball.
Speaker 3:
[106:19] It's supposed to look like a baseball, but why are the cashews in there?
Speaker 2:
[106:22] Because it's baseball nut.
Speaker 1:
[106:26] And you get nuts at baseball games?
Speaker 2:
[106:27] And you get nuts at baseball games.
Speaker 3:
[106:29] I guess.
Speaker 2:
[106:30] But it was also like baseball nut, like it looks like a baseball nut and then there's some nuts in it. I think that's as far as it goes.
Speaker 4:
[106:36] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[106:37] You don't like it.
Speaker 3:
[106:38] No, I didn't mind the flavor. I just was like, I don't quite understand the name.
Speaker 4:
[106:42] It's a visual forward name where you would maybe prefer a flavor forward flavor. Right. You would want it to taste like you love baseball.
Speaker 3:
[106:54] Right.
Speaker 4:
[106:54] As opposed to ice cream that when scooped might look like a baseball.
Speaker 2:
[106:59] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[106:59] Depending on the scoop.
Speaker 4:
[107:00] Yeah. Very much depending on the scoop.
Speaker 2:
[107:02] Here's a question for you. What would be your version of baseball ice cream? I think for me, peanuts and Cracker Jack.
Speaker 4:
[107:10] Hell yes.
Speaker 3:
[107:10] That's pretty good.
Speaker 4:
[107:11] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[107:11] That's pretty good.
Speaker 2:
[107:13] Cracker Jacks might be tough in an ice cream. Would it get too hard or something?
Speaker 3:
[107:16] Or you could do some caramel popcorn, right?
Speaker 4:
[107:19] Or the ice cream could be caramel corn flavor.
Speaker 3:
[107:21] There you go.
Speaker 4:
[107:23] Then it feels like there's room for one more ingredient, but I don't know what that should be.
Speaker 2:
[107:28] Did you see that? Do you know that Take Me Out to the Ball? Someone tweeted about this, but Take Me Out to the Ball game, and I forgot this info is like a full song.
Speaker 3:
[107:36] Yeah, it's like the Star-Spangled Banner. There's more verses.
Speaker 2:
[107:39] Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[107:40] There's like four verses of the Star-Spangled Banner. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:
[107:44] I didn't know that.
Speaker 3:
[107:45] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[107:46] Can I say it? Yeah. Out to... All right, here we go. I'm getting the lyrics. You can talk more as I look this up.
Speaker 4:
[107:53] Peanuts, Cracker Jack, and then I feel like Salted Pretzel or something like that. Oh, yeah. Something like that. Another baseball food.
Speaker 3:
[108:00] Right. Because I mean so much of what I'm thinking of is hot dogs and beer, but obviously that doesn't fit.
Speaker 4:
[108:06] I wouldn't mind a beer. What I want as a whatever person hurtling towards death, I think I want a salty flavor to cut the sweet. A salty anything in there would have been nice.
Speaker 3:
[108:20] There's a reason.
Speaker 2:
[108:21] I have the full song. Are you ready to hear it?
Speaker 3:
[108:23] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[108:25] I don't know if I can.
Speaker 3:
[108:26] Is it public domain? It must be public domain.
Speaker 1:
[108:28] Good question.
Speaker 2:
[108:29] Take me out to the ball game. Definitely has to be at this point.
Speaker 1:
[108:33] You don't have to sing.
Speaker 4:
[108:34] You guys have to bleep this entire thing.
Speaker 3:
[108:36] Demonetized on Spotify.
Speaker 2:
[108:39] I don't know if I can sing it because I don't think it is to the same tune, but Katie Casey was baseball mad, had the fever and had it bad. Just to root for the hometown crew, every sue Katie blew. On a Saturday, her young beau called to see if she'd like to go, to see a show, but Miss Kate said, no, I'll tell you what you can do. Take me out to the ball game.
Speaker 4:
[109:11] Is that spoken word? That's beforehand.
Speaker 2:
[109:13] What's the meaning? That's before, I don't know. It might be like, Katie Casey was baseball mad, had the fever and had it bad. But I don't know if it is that. It seems like the chorus is just to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ball Game. I feel like the other part is like, I don't know if it's spoken word, but I think it might be sung differently. And then there is more to it. Just buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.
Speaker 3:
[109:41] Every Sioux Katie Blue, what the fuck does that mean?
Speaker 4:
[109:43] Yeah. Every Sioux?
Speaker 3:
[109:45] Every S-O-U, every Sioux Katie Blue.
Speaker 4:
[109:48] Oh, that's chili is a Sioux.
Speaker 3:
[109:50] Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:
[109:54] Katie Casey saw all the games, knew the players by their first names, told the umpire he was wrong all along, good and strong. When the score was just two to two, Katie Casey knew what to do, just to cheer up the boy she knew. She made the gang sing the song. Then it's the chorus again. But apparently, the song was a feminist anthem about a woman wanting to go see a baseball game rather than go on a date to a show.
Speaker 3:
[110:20] From 1908.
Speaker 4:
[110:20] That's amazing. I feel like big, huge packs of totally homophobic men love singing this.
Speaker 2:
[110:27] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[110:29] That's great.
Speaker 3:
[110:31] This was before women's suffrage too, 1908, it was written. So how about that?
Speaker 2:
[110:35] Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:
[110:36] Really ahead of its time.
Speaker 1:
[110:37] I looked up a sou is a former French coin of low value. So in slang terminology, it typically means a very small amount of money. So she blew every sou means she blew all her money.
Speaker 3:
[110:47] Her meager amount of-
Speaker 1:
[110:48] Every penny she had.
Speaker 3:
[110:48] The meager funds she had.
Speaker 1:
[110:50] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[110:50] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[110:50] I like that.
Speaker 3:
[110:51] That's fun. What a nice bit of context. Sometimes you learn something from the Doughboys podcast.
Speaker 2:
[110:56] Katie, what's her name? Katie, what was it? Katie, Katie Codwell. I'm in love.
Speaker 3:
[111:00] You were just looking at it.
Speaker 2:
[111:02] Katie Casey.
Speaker 3:
[111:02] Katie Casey.
Speaker 2:
[111:04] Mighty Casey at the bat too. A lot of Casey's in the baseball.
Speaker 3:
[111:06] Wow. How about that?
Speaker 2:
[111:08] But anyways, that was a nice little detour. That was bullshit. We can edit all that out.
Speaker 4:
[111:12] No. It makes sense she'd need someone to buy her the peanuts and crackerjacks now. This all does really add up. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[111:17] It makes sense.
Speaker 4:
[111:17] She has to go soo's.
Speaker 2:
[111:22] Soo's is- There's some old timey slang like that, that would be fun to bring back. Relax. It sounds like I don't want to bring back old word. Let's just keep moving on.
Speaker 3:
[111:33] Emma, you got a strawberry shake.
Speaker 1:
[111:35] I did.
Speaker 3:
[111:36] How was that?
Speaker 1:
[111:36] It was pretty good. It was not as strawberry forward as I would have liked. It was very just like a cold drink, but it wasn't bad.
Speaker 3:
[111:44] Amelia, you down with MCC?
Speaker 5:
[111:47] I'm down with MCC.
Speaker 2:
[111:48] Yeah, you know.
Speaker 5:
[111:48] Yeah, you know me.
Speaker 3:
[111:50] You've mint chocolate chip. You got that in a cone, was it?
Speaker 5:
[111:52] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[111:53] How was it?
Speaker 5:
[111:54] I had like a third of it, and then I gave the rest to a homeless guy.
Speaker 1:
[111:57] Yeah, there's a guy.
Speaker 3:
[111:58] The rest of your ice cream?
Speaker 1:
[111:59] Yeah, there's a guy came up and asked if we could buy him a soda, and Amelia was like, do you want this ice cream cone? And then I actually gave him the rest of my shake too. I was like, do you want this? He was like, yeah, anything cold. And I was like, take it, my man.
Speaker 3:
[112:09] Hey, all right. That's nice that worked out.
Speaker 2:
[112:10] That's nice.
Speaker 3:
[112:11] Was it a waffle cone? What kind of cone was it?
Speaker 5:
[112:13] It was a wafer cone.
Speaker 3:
[112:14] It was a wafer cone.
Speaker 1:
[112:15] Yeah, like a plain cone.
Speaker 3:
[112:16] So I got a waffle cone bowl, and this was touched on. My issue with the cone bowls, they're always pre-made and they always taste stale. I was like, hell, a little bit of this, like, this sucks. And I get that it's less messy, especially for a kid to eat, but it's like, give me the fucking cone.
Speaker 2:
[112:34] Why do I bother with this cone bowl? You asked for it.
Speaker 3:
[112:38] Well, yeah, I did that. I did that again, I know, but I'm just saying, it's one of those things I get there, and then every time I get it, and the end time I get it, I was like, it's just gonna fucking cone. Why did I bother with this?
Speaker 2:
[112:48] OPP is a nasty little song, isn't it?
Speaker 3:
[112:50] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[112:51] You down with OPP? It's a nasty little song.
Speaker 3:
[112:53] It is a little nasty.
Speaker 2:
[112:54] But I just looked it up, and there's actually lyrics before that part of the song.
Speaker 3:
[112:57] Oh, that's wild.
Speaker 2:
[112:58] Katie Casey was baseball mad.
Speaker 1:
[113:04] Wow, Katie Casey really got her out.
Speaker 2:
[113:08] Naughty by nature was thinking about Katie Casey, they just edited it down.
Speaker 3:
[113:11] Did Jemmy like her pup cup?
Speaker 1:
[113:12] Jemmy loved her pup cup. I took a video, we can post it, of her eating it, and she looked so serious and locked in on her pup cup.
Speaker 4:
[113:19] Is it just whipped cream?
Speaker 1:
[113:21] It's literally just a little cup with whipped cream in it. Yeah, she loves whipped cream.
Speaker 4:
[113:24] Jemmy.
Speaker 3:
[113:25] And we also got some, a few more things after we'd eaten all this shit. We got a lava colada shake, a mango nada shake, so we got a couple fruity options, and then we also got a wild and reckless sherbet.
Speaker 2:
[113:36] Amelia and I were carrying those shakes on the walk home and they were cold, cold as hell.
Speaker 4:
[113:41] My favorite thing is that the name, you go, I'd like the wild and reckless sherbet. One scoop. A very modest amount of the reckless sherbet.
Speaker 2:
[113:53] Which I agree with you, not that reckless, it wasn't that wild, but it was good, it was tasty.
Speaker 4:
[114:00] It was a comfortable and familiar sherbet.
Speaker 3:
[114:03] Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:
[114:04] Sherbet. Sherbet.
Speaker 3:
[114:05] Yeah, there's honestly nothing wild and reckless about it.
Speaker 4:
[114:08] What would a wild and reckless sherbet be?
Speaker 3:
[114:11] I think it would be like some unconventional flavors. Like it would be like, you know, mustard and mayonnaise. I was like, what the fuck is going on here? This is wild and reckless.
Speaker 1:
[114:21] Or it has like, pop rocks in it or something insane.
Speaker 4:
[114:23] That'd be fun.
Speaker 2:
[114:24] Yeah, you might as well make it edible. Instead of fucking mayo and mustard ice cream.
Speaker 3:
[114:29] I'm saying it would be like, that'd be the kind of dare flavor you'd see is like, we have this fucking crazy fucked up. That's the kind of thing like salt and straw would do for like a promotion is we got this fucked up ice cream that we know people are going to hate, but they're going to try it out of grim curiosity.
Speaker 2:
[114:42] I got a new candy, nerds gummy clusters, juicy nerds gummy clusters.
Speaker 3:
[114:48] People love these juicy nerds gummy clusters.
Speaker 2:
[114:50] The juicy nerds gummy clusters are fucking good as hell.
Speaker 3:
[114:52] I think now we may have had a bag of those at home.
Speaker 2:
[114:54] Oh, they're good as hell. You should try them. But like something like that, it wasn't that wild and reckless, but it was the best thing we had and we had to carry those, the whole walk home.
Speaker 4:
[115:05] But let's, can we talk about the tajin, the-
Speaker 3:
[115:09] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[115:09] I got a whole-
Speaker 4:
[115:10] The what's the-
Speaker 3:
[115:11] The mango nada.
Speaker 2:
[115:12] You guys don't want to talk about how cold the drinks were when we brought them home?
Speaker 4:
[115:16] I feel the audience might be aware of the temperature of things from Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[115:22] Amelia was trying to be like, I was like, these are fucking cold as I was, because I was carrying them and she's like, they're no big deal. And then I saw her swapping it back and forth between the hands. It was a cold, there were some cold shakes.
Speaker 3:
[115:33] You took one and said, I could hold this forever.
Speaker 2:
[115:36] I think you said I could hold this for a thousand years. Is that what you said?
Speaker 5:
[115:39] Something like that.
Speaker 4:
[115:40] That's so romantic.
Speaker 2:
[115:46] All right, we got to talk about the tahine, which you were excited about.
Speaker 3:
[115:48] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[115:49] Which was in the shake.
Speaker 3:
[115:51] It was a few different tropical flavors with some tahine. It was very mango forward, but it was also very tahine forward.
Speaker 2:
[115:58] I can tell you a lot of fun until you get a tahine vein and then you're just fucking getting all tahine. My first sip was just straight tahine.
Speaker 4:
[116:07] I wish I had a great Clash song. I wish I had had that sip, the straight tahine. I wanted something salty so bad. I was really ready for that drink.
Speaker 2:
[116:19] To me, I think that the mango one tasted good and it gives some approximation to having mango with tahine and whatever. But both of those, I could have tossed in the trash immediately.
Speaker 3:
[116:36] I love the mango natto. I like the mango natto. I thought that was a lot of fun. It was a sort of thing, yes, you could end up with a bad sip. But if you get that sweet spot sip, where you're getting a little bit of sweet and a little bit of salt and just a touch of the heat, I thought it was delightful. The lava colada, I found repulsive.
Speaker 2:
[116:55] I thought that was disgusting. Emmy put it best, which was.
Speaker 4:
[116:59] Oh, it needs rum. It needs to be full of booze. It's like so, so like Bath and Body Works, like artificial sweet.
Speaker 2:
[117:08] Yeah, Bath and Body Works is a great way to describe it. Just tasted like Bath and Body Works smells.
Speaker 4:
[117:14] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[117:15] But also, why were the drinks so like tropical? It is only April, you know what I mean? They seem like very summer drinks or something. It just, it didn't.
Speaker 4:
[117:23] That's a great question. Maybe it's spring break to them?
Speaker 3:
[117:26] That's a spring break then.
Speaker 2:
[117:27] That could be what it is, honestly.
Speaker 4:
[117:28] Maybe the adding booze is implied.
Speaker 2:
[117:33] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[117:34] Sure. Right.
Speaker 4:
[117:35] Spring break.
Speaker 3:
[117:36] There's a wink there.
Speaker 4:
[117:37] They assume you're going to be in a wet t-shirt having these drinks.
Speaker 2:
[117:42] The Doughboys, we're always in wet t-shirts. But also, it's just funny to me to be like, let's grab some booze and hit a Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 4:
[117:50] Yeah, you wouldn't think of that. That's true. But now, maybe people will. What if we send a lot of heavy drinkers to Baskin-Robbins?
Speaker 2:
[118:04] I wondered if I would even like it with booze, but it would have been a much better drink. But I thought they were both kind of. The mango latte tasted better, but it just was whatever. Both of them were not good.
Speaker 3:
[118:15] Think of the wet sheet t-shirt contest. Are there ever a wet boxer short contest for the fellas?
Speaker 1:
[118:20] So you can catch some print.
Speaker 3:
[118:21] Yeah, you can go up there and catch some print. That'd be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:
[118:24] I feel like throwing water onto a dick is not gonna help. I'm saying like-
Speaker 3:
[118:30] It's gotta be warm water. It's gotta be warm water.
Speaker 2:
[118:32] All right, so you get boiling pots of water.
Speaker 3:
[118:35] Not boiling, I'm not saying boiling. I'm trying to scald people's dicks and balls. I'm saying you get some, it's a nice temperature. Like what would be in a hot tub?
Speaker 2:
[118:46] Bath water.
Speaker 3:
[118:46] Yeah, it's like bath water.
Speaker 2:
[118:47] All right, so 100 degree temperature water.
Speaker 3:
[118:49] It could be, here's the thing, like people would be like, you can test it first. So you can put your foot in it and get used to it.
Speaker 2:
[118:54] I think it would have to be 98.5 or above.
Speaker 3:
[118:57] It's body temperature.
Speaker 2:
[118:58] It has to be 98.5 or above to not cause shrinkage. And even just 98.5, I think it would have to be 99 to 100 degrees.
Speaker 3:
[119:03] I think you chub up a little bit first just to mitigate any shrinkage that could happen.
Speaker 2:
[119:07] The wet t-shirt contest don't get to chub up a little bit first.
Speaker 1:
[119:12] What's the chub up version of the wet t-shirt contest? You're just flicking your nipples at the same?
Speaker 3:
[119:15] I think they're doing that. I think they're a little tweaking.
Speaker 2:
[119:17] That happens with the water. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:
[119:20] I don't know. I think they're getting a little warmed up there, too.
Speaker 2:
[119:23] I think you need hot water. I think you need 100 to 103 degrees.
Speaker 3:
[119:26] Okay, so you get hot water, but warm water. It's not gonna burn you.
Speaker 2:
[119:29] And they're wearing white underwear?
Speaker 3:
[119:31] Yeah, I think you'd be wearing white underwear.
Speaker 1:
[119:32] Tidy whities for everybody.
Speaker 3:
[119:33] It could be tidy whities. I think Amelia is actually Googling it. Yeah, like a wet tidy whities contest.
Speaker 2:
[119:42] I don't know if anyone thinks that sounds fun.
Speaker 3:
[119:45] I think it could be fun. It depends on the circumstance.
Speaker 5:
[119:47] If there's a Wikipedia page for wet boxer contest.
Speaker 3:
[119:50] Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 4:
[119:52] Wiger just made it.
Speaker 2:
[119:58] How the fuck did you do that?
Speaker 1:
[119:59] The water that's used is warm instead of cold.
Speaker 2:
[120:02] There you go.
Speaker 3:
[120:03] We reverse engineered the real thing.
Speaker 1:
[120:05] Yeah, they're held in gay bars.
Speaker 3:
[120:08] Oh, that's fun. That makes sense. That makes sense.
Speaker 4:
[120:10] Did they do them at half marathons?
Speaker 3:
[120:14] Could be in my dad's engine.
Speaker 5:
[120:19] Oh, there's also wet gray sweatpants contest. So like no boxers, gray sweatpants.
Speaker 3:
[120:23] Why gray sweatpants?
Speaker 5:
[120:24] I don't know. I think that's a thing. There's like a thing with women and men in gray sweatpants.
Speaker 4:
[120:29] Can I do absolute sidebar about gray sweatpants? One thing I've discovered since I have come back to LA is that on DoorDash, you can have Old Navy delivered to you.
Speaker 3:
[120:39] Yeah, you can. You can get clothes.
Speaker 4:
[120:41] Oh, you knew this already.
Speaker 3:
[120:42] I knew this because Adam Wu, Wu Tang, got some jeans delivered.
Speaker 2:
[120:46] He got jeans delivered. He did.
Speaker 4:
[120:48] I was like, under what circumstances would I need sweatpants brought to me where I am? And I guess you're in one of these contests or you like shit your pants at work or something.
Speaker 3:
[120:58] Oh, I didn't think about that. If you shit your pants at work, yeah, that's salvation.
Speaker 4:
[121:01] Yeah, I guess that is if there's no nurse's office.
Speaker 2:
[121:08] I ripped my pants at Foxwoods.
Speaker 5:
[121:10] It's true. I went shopping for bitch.
Speaker 2:
[121:11] And Emma came and delivered and Emma bought me a new pair of pants and brought it to my COVID riddled room.
Speaker 5:
[121:16] Me and Carl were in the Levi's store at Foxwoods being like, do you have? And then we were fighting.
Speaker 2:
[121:21] Yeah, 42 by 30 or whatever the they were.
Speaker 5:
[121:23] And you were like, a 30 inch inseam. And I was like, my inseam is 33. There's no way you're a 30 inch inseam. And then the pants I bought were way too long.
Speaker 2:
[121:30] Did you get me 32s?
Speaker 5:
[121:31] I think I gave you 32s.
Speaker 3:
[121:33] Well, you wear your pants a little bit lower.
Speaker 2:
[121:35] I wear my pants low.
Speaker 3:
[121:36] But I think also you maybe like might be proportional like me where I'm like, I'm a little more torso than leg, which I wish I had more wingspan as well, but I'm not. I don't have that sort of.
Speaker 2:
[121:45] I wear my jeans low. I think that's a big part of it. I go 40 by 30 maybe now. I don't know, 38 or 40 by 30.
Speaker 4:
[121:52] And once they throw that warm water at you, you get way lower. You're really sitting on your butt.
Speaker 3:
[122:00] I gotta see some footage of one of these wet shorts.
Speaker 5:
[122:02] I had some pulled up, she's been watching it.
Speaker 3:
[122:04] Okay, these are boxer shorts, but I'm curious about the gray sweatpants contest. Like, because what does that actually look like in practice?
Speaker 5:
[122:13] I don't know.
Speaker 4:
[122:13] I think they all go to Baskin-Robbins for those.
Speaker 2:
[122:23] I knew as soon as you brought this up, this would just end with me and you for Doughboys at a fucking wet boxer contest or something. I'm sure that's what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3:
[122:31] We're judging.
Speaker 4:
[122:33] Wet sweatpants just sound so uncomfortable. We need to wear it.
Speaker 2:
[122:37] That is so gross.
Speaker 4:
[122:38] Like wet jeans.
Speaker 6:
[122:39] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[122:42] Yeah. Let's go to one.
Speaker 4:
[122:45] I mean, it looked very fun when you showed up.
Speaker 3:
[122:47] They looked like they were having a blast.
Speaker 2:
[122:48] They were having a blast. I know, it made me feel sad that we were here.
Speaker 4:
[122:51] I'm like, I see why I haven't been invited. That's way more fun than I have.
Speaker 3:
[122:57] We should get to our final thoughts on Baskin-Robbins. At least we missed anything. I feel like we've covered all the stuff we've talked about. Right?
Speaker 2:
[123:02] I went to Carlos and Charlie's in Aruba when I was a boy.
Speaker 3:
[123:05] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[123:06] And they threw water on your box face? I mean, I wasn't trying to have this happen, but they're like, wet t-shirt and they did stuff like that. And then I got a mug thrown up my head. You know this.
Speaker 3:
[123:15] So you were at a wet t-shirt contest because they've never seen one of these.
Speaker 2:
[123:18] We were in there one night when there was a wet t-shirt contest. It was not the reason we went to the bar.
Speaker 3:
[123:21] And they were like spraying ladies with their.
Speaker 2:
[123:24] Yeah, I think they just like randomly like, we're gonna have one right now. And then they like sprayed two, like three ladies or whatever. But I was in there. And then also that's where I got the mug thrown at my head. And then I was like a year later at college, I was like, it's scabbing up. And then glass fell out of my head.
Speaker 3:
[123:39] Mitch, we've talked about this before. I was with you backstage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. This was, it would have been 15 years ago.
Speaker 2:
[123:47] Yeah. And one of the last pieces of glass.
Speaker 3:
[123:50] You go, a piece of glass just came out of my head. You just say this to me. I'm like, I don't have any context for this. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 5:
[123:59] And you were like, let's do a podcast together.
Speaker 3:
[124:00] Yeah. And then you were like, you being you, you always give like the trickle out the information. It was like, it was a mug. I was like, what? What?
Speaker 2:
[124:08] It was a mug?
Speaker 3:
[124:11] And then you eventually explained, you gave me the story, which is insane.
Speaker 2:
[124:14] Oh yeah. I got someone threw a mug at my head.
Speaker 4:
[124:15] It was just a random person.
Speaker 3:
[124:17] You got, you got glassed like in train spotting.
Speaker 2:
[124:19] I got glassed, I was with the Quincy guys. And then there were some near do wells out front.
Speaker 3:
[124:26] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[124:26] And then someone said something. I won't say which friend they said at you because the friend like regrets it now and like regrets getting like involved. And people don't know I look big. So I think they think that I'm like a big monster, but I.
Speaker 3:
[124:40] Your friend said I'm voting for Obama.
Speaker 2:
[124:45] The Arubans, there were guys who were like, and this is actually, this is also where that woman went missing at that Carlos and Charles. Oh, wow. Jordan Vander Sloot.
Speaker 3:
[124:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[124:55] It's the same bar.
Speaker 3:
[124:56] Wow.
Speaker 2:
[124:57] And I walked over to be like, oh no, I'm going to try to get my friends out of this situation. And I was probably 20 feet away. So from where I am to maybe the mirror back there, or maybe that door. A guy.
Speaker 3:
[125:13] So for people listening to this.
Speaker 2:
[125:16] 15 feet, 20 feet?
Speaker 3:
[125:17] Yeah, it feels like it's like Mitch is using the mostly empty space in Headgum as a reference.
Speaker 2:
[125:22] The front, the Headgum front. But a guy just took, and it was like a beer mug, and it had that glass bottom, and he threw it. And luckily I was wearing a hat, because I would have gotten so fucked up. But it hit my head like a baseball, broke my head open, then shattered on my head. And I took my hat off and just blood started running down my face. Because I think he thought I was coming over to be like, when I was in reality being like, let's get the hell out of here. Because they were arguing, and they punched, they punched my friend Joe, it split his Joe Tormey. Split his, split like, gave him like a joker smile. They like split his lip open. And I like went to Carlos and Charlie's, and I like remember going up, and there was all people out on the patio now, like seeing what the commotion was about. And I was like, I walked up and everyone went, ooh. And I was like, oh no, this is so bad. And I was like, can I come in? They're like, no, no one can come in like after a fight. And I was like, my head is all busted up. And my friend Kelly Rose was like, are you going to die? And I was like, how bad is this? And then me and my friend Joe went to the Arubin hospital and they like poured iodine in my head and then just sewed it up. And a year later, I was like, it's scabbing up again. Cause I still have a start. You can kind of see the scar a little bit. You see the scar on my head? Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, it's right here. You can see, so my head started-
Speaker 3:
[126:47] It's gonna be behind your hairline a little bit.
Speaker 2:
[126:48] It's behind my hairline. And also it's more like a widow's peak. I don't like to show it off. But I was like, I started being like, it's like scabbing up again. Weird, what's going on? I was rubbing it and then sea glass fell out of it. And then it happened. That was probably the last time it ever happened, like 15 years ago. So I was late 20s when it- Cause it came out- Like three or four pieces of glass came out of my head eventually.
Speaker 4:
[127:12] I feel like you could have sued, there are lots of people you could have sued in this story.
Speaker 2:
[127:18] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, I don't know what. But it was like one of those things of like, oh God, I got, I didn't also like, I was just like, my mom's going to kill me. You know what I mean? That's all I was thinking of.
Speaker 3:
[127:29] You're like a dumb kid at that point. You're just like, well, I don't know how you-
Speaker 2:
[127:32] Yes, I grew into a dumb man.
Speaker 4:
[127:35] I didn't get to see who won the wet t-shirt contest.
Speaker 2:
[127:38] I never even got to see, I was also a loser.
Speaker 4:
[127:40] Two of the three women. If I had known there could be, if you have one of three chances, we could enter, right? It's like the odds are okay.
Speaker 2:
[127:53] I still wouldn't get into that wet boxers contest. One in three, I don't think I'm going to do it. But I don't actually, I'll never enter a wet boxer contest. I can think I can say that safely.
Speaker 3:
[128:04] Yeah, I mean, probably the odds are low for me as well.
Speaker 2:
[128:07] It seems like you're a little bit-
Speaker 3:
[128:10] I don't know.
Speaker 4:
[128:12] I think you should sue Carlos and Charlie.
Speaker 2:
[128:17] Clearly not a great bar if that's also where the Duran VanderSloot kidnapped that poor woman.
Speaker 3:
[128:26] Jesus.
Speaker 2:
[128:27] Anyways, don't go to Carlos and Charlie's in Aruba.
Speaker 3:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 3:
[132:09] Let's get to our final thoughts on Baskin-Robbins. So, Emmy, you've done the podcast before. You know how this works. We'll each go around. We'll give a closing argument, if you will, on today's...
Speaker 2:
[132:18] Have I never told that on the podcast? I must have.
Speaker 3:
[132:20] You've told this on the podcast a few times.
Speaker 2:
[132:21] Oh, well, what the?
Speaker 3:
[132:22] We only have so many stories, Mitch. We've been on this podcast for 10 fucking years. What do you want from us?
Speaker 1:
[132:26] I should have heard that story.
Speaker 3:
[132:28] Probably before your time.
Speaker 2:
[132:29] Pre-skids.
Speaker 3:
[132:30] Yeah. All right, Mitch is yawning. We've got to wrap things up.
Speaker 2:
[132:34] What if it was... That's your issue with a wet boxer contest is what if they throw water and you need to see a big old skid mark on the back?
Speaker 3:
[132:41] I'm not going to wear dirty underwear. I don't have skid marks.
Speaker 2:
[132:44] What happened to you over the course of the day?
Speaker 3:
[132:46] I don't get... It doesn't have any underwear. I'm not a fucking animal. I clean myself.
Speaker 2:
[132:50] I don't know about that. I don't get skid marks either, to be clear. I'm not a fucking child.
Speaker 4:
[132:58] But someone might.
Speaker 2:
[132:59] Someone might.
Speaker 3:
[133:02] Did you ever... This is going down memory lane with skid mark. You ever hear that expression, riding the Hershey Highway? That's a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:
[133:11] Because that also sounds like it could be fun.
Speaker 3:
[133:12] It sounds like it could be fun, but it's an actual...
Speaker 2:
[133:14] Riding the Hershey Highway, like a chocolate highway? That sounds fun, but then it's shit.
Speaker 3:
[133:17] It sounds like a Mario Kart level, but no.
Speaker 4:
[133:20] Around the Corner, Fudge is Made?
Speaker 3:
[133:21] I like that one quite a bit.
Speaker 2:
[133:23] Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around the Corner, Fudge is Made.
Speaker 3:
[133:26] Yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 2:
[133:27] Which is helpful for young kids, I feel like.
Speaker 3:
[133:29] You just know what orifice dispenses what fluid.
Speaker 2:
[133:32] Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[133:33] It's useful. But then later on, Kum enters the equation and then everything's scrambled.
Speaker 2:
[133:38] Do they ever add anything on for Kum or no? Do they ever add to the song or no?
Speaker 3:
[133:43] Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner, fudges made. Oh yeah, we forgot about Kum.
Speaker 2:
[133:51] The guy who made that song is like George Lucas. He released that later. He did like a new version with the Kum part in it.
Speaker 3:
[133:57] It's like the Take Me Out To The Ball Game song. This extra verse that people don't know about. Emmy, will each say our closing argument on Baskin-Robbins and give it a score from zero to five forks? You are our guest. Your thoughts, your fork score.
Speaker 4:
[134:12] I have some nostalgic associations with Baskin-Robbins, but in the present, as a grown adult, there's maybe another ice cream I would choose or like many other ice cream places I would choose. Jumoka Nut Fudge, we didn't discuss that much, but is a good flavor.
Speaker 3:
[134:35] It's a good flavor.
Speaker 4:
[134:37] There was a weird sheet tray of chocolate covered bananas that were not on the menu. At all.
Speaker 2:
[134:44] They looked homemade and you thought that they were refrigerated dildos. That's what they looked like.
Speaker 4:
[134:48] I think we all thought they were refrigerated dildos.
Speaker 2:
[134:50] Yes, we all thought they were refrigerated dildos.
Speaker 4:
[134:52] We thought they might be good for our wet boxer contest.
Speaker 2:
[134:55] Yeah, stuff that bad boy down there for the wet boxer contest.
Speaker 4:
[135:00] I think some of the cakes look good.
Speaker 2:
[135:03] The chocolate is going to make you look like you have a skid mark. That could happen too.
Speaker 3:
[135:06] That's a huge issue.
Speaker 4:
[135:08] Yeah, you don't want to go to the wet boxer contest and look like you're shitting from your dick in front of everyone.
Speaker 3:
[135:15] At first, I was like, whoa, that white guy has a huge black dick. I'm like, wait a minute, he's got shit all over his underwear.
Speaker 4:
[135:22] Four forks. That's for that guy from a different guy. Me for Baskin-Robbins, 2.5.
Speaker 2:
[135:33] 2.5 forks, oh my god.
Speaker 3:
[135:36] Go ahead, spoon man.
Speaker 2:
[135:38] Man, there was times where I was eating this Baskin-Robbins and I was having such a blast. It is shittier ice cream, but I do think that that should exist in the world.
Speaker 4:
[135:51] I would never say we should exterminate Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[135:56] I don't want, I really liked my sundae. I was having a good time with it. It's basic, it's not as good, but my flavors were good. I really liked the Cookie Monster. That Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I thought that was good. And the Rocky Road was decent. Here's where I'm gonna take it down where it doesn't get four-forker. It was a little bit freezer burned. I do think Baskin-Robbins is just like such an old school place. It's affordable, I'll say that. It is for comparatively compared to Jenny's or whatever, I like Jenny's. But there's something nostalgic to me and I didn't even grow up with Baskin-Robbins, but there's something nostalgic about that damn, I mean, I did, there was one nearby, but I didn't go to Baskin-Robbins often. It's not as much of a New England thing, right? It's like, Friendly's and Brigham's were more growing up or whatever, and I love, and I hold those in higher regard, but I still really liked this, and I think I'm going to go 3.5 spoons.
Speaker 3:
[136:48] 3.5 spoons, wow, okay.
Speaker 2:
[136:50] I did a spoon.
Speaker 3:
[136:51] And one spoon equals one fork, we know that ratio.
Speaker 2:
[136:54] It's true.
Speaker 3:
[136:55] Here's what I'm going to say. I do have nostalgia for Baskin-Robbins. I did grow up with Baskin-Robbins. This was kind of my go-to mainstream ice cream parlor, the chain ice cream parlor of choice for the Wiger family. There was a daiquiri ice flavor that you pointed out. I remember it was like, it hit me like a memory. It's like, oh yeah, my mom, my mom used to love that flavor. My mom would consistently get the daiquiri ice. I was a big peanut butter chocolate guy as a kid. I also loved their chocolate chip. That was when I could eat peanuts. I loved their chocolate chip. I loved their mint chocolate chip. I liked, they have the little tea type chips.
Speaker 2:
[137:30] Wait, you could eat peanuts? Chocolate chip? Oh, is there peanuts?
Speaker 3:
[137:33] No, no, peanut butter chocolate.
Speaker 2:
[137:35] Oh, sorry.
Speaker 3:
[137:35] That's a flavor I was referencing. They have these coffee grind, they're little chips. They're really, really blended. And I really like that about it because I think you get a lot of texture. It's really fun. I think all those flavors are well-executed. Love Cookie Monster, loved Icing on the Cake. Dubai chocolate, fuck out of here.
Speaker 2:
[137:54] Oh, it sucks.
Speaker 3:
[137:55] I mean, that shit is awful. And also, I just hate, maybe it's not to whitewash Dubai, but maybe that's not its intended purpose, but that's what it's doing. This fucking desert megalopolis that should not exist, where it's all these, it's the most wasteful possible way to construct a city. Everything's connected with roads, and it's instead of public transit, and everything's built with slave labor from South Asian and Sub-Saharan African immigrants whose passports are confiscated and wages are garnished. It's a hellhole. It should not exist. It's symbolic of the late capitalist opulence that is just further exacerbating the wealth divide that's ruining most of the world. And so I hate Dubai. It pisses me off. Fuck that place. The Doughboys will go there if you give us enough money. If there's a Dubai comedy festival that wants to pay us money, we will go there.
Speaker 2:
[138:56] And Headgum will move its fronts there.
Speaker 3:
[138:58] Headgum will move its headquarters to Dubai at some point. So we will compromise our values in that way, but overall I hate it and I hate the Dubai chocolate trend for that reason. That said, I like Baskin-Robbins, but there's no reason I would go there except for content at these days, or if they had a fun flavor, which I guess would also be for content probably. I'd probably make a fucking video about it. So for that reason, I think I'm in the handholding club with Emmy Blotnick. I'm gonna go two forks, two tines. I think it's a two and a half forker. I think it's right in the middle, right in the middle of that belter.
Speaker 2:
[139:31] I went high. All right, that's fair.
Speaker 3:
[139:34] All right, that was our review.
Speaker 4:
[139:34] We should have gotten Sundays, I guess.
Speaker 2:
[139:36] The Sunday was a little bit more fun. It was just the hot fudge and the whipped cream. I was having a little bit more fun. And it was less ice. I mean, it was, you guys didn't finish yours anyways, but it was kind of perfect. Sorry. I liked it. What would you say for a fork score?
Speaker 5:
[139:54] I'd probably go like two and a half forks. It was a pretty, it was an okay milkshake, but if I'm craving a strawberry milkshake like that, I'm not going to Baskin-Robbins. I'm going to go to Handles or I'm going to make one at home or something else.
Speaker 3:
[140:05] I'm going to Handles like nine times out of 10, the other time I'd go to Salt and Star or Jenny's or something. I mean, why would I fucking bother at Baskin-Robbins at this point?
Speaker 5:
[140:13] Even an In-N-Out milkshake.
Speaker 3:
[140:14] In-N-Out milkshake. And that's a different thing. You get a fast food shake.
Speaker 4:
[140:17] Right, like a Wendy's Frosty might scratch the same itch as anything we had.
Speaker 5:
[140:22] And it'll probably be cheaper.
Speaker 3:
[140:24] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[140:25] AM, how about you?
Speaker 1:
[140:27] I think I'm in the handholding club, too. I would give it a 2.5 spoons. The MCC was worse than what you would get at like a Breyers Swirl-Bot ice cream.
Speaker 3:
[140:40] That's damning.
Speaker 1:
[140:41] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[140:42] When the chips being that small, you can't do your preferred method of spitting them back in the bowl.
Speaker 1:
[140:46] Yeah, but I don't mind the ground up chips. I do like that.
Speaker 4:
[140:50] It's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the ice cream's not very good and you don't go through a lot of it, then it's freezer-burned and gets worse. Right. You need to be moving a lot of that, and I don't know if there are enough little league teams around here to keep that.
Speaker 5:
[141:04] That's fair. Especially in Silver Lake with Salt and Straus right there. There's a Jenny's over in Los Feliz. You got a lot of options.
Speaker 3:
[141:10] I feel like in a lot of America too, it's just like they're upscale ice cream parlors now, and also there's just better ice cream at your, you can get McConnell's at the grocery store or Ben and Jerry's. I take Ben and Jerry's over Baskin-Robbins.
Speaker 2:
[141:21] I would take Ben and Jerry's over Baskin-Robbins 100%.
Speaker 3:
[141:23] But that said, these servers.
Speaker 2:
[141:25] You know what, you can miss me, three spoons. I'm moving it down.
Speaker 3:
[141:27] Wow, we got good service there, and the one person working there by herself, which was doing a great job.
Speaker 4:
[141:34] One jacked arm.
Speaker 2:
[141:35] Sorry, Jemmy.
Speaker 4:
[141:36] Oh yeah, what does Jemmy's review?
Speaker 5:
[141:37] Jemmy probably would say five spoons because she fricking loves whipped cream.
Speaker 2:
[141:42] Wikes, Amelia brought up spitting out chips, but sometimes you do the opposite of spitting out chips.
Speaker 3:
[141:49] That's right, Mitch. We got a bunch of chips and we're going to eat them all. It's time for Chips Inhale, Rest Chew Rangers.
Speaker 2:
[141:55] Hit it, Emma.
Speaker 3:
[142:11] Every flavor, you know it never fails when food is involved. Sometimes there's chips, we'll eat them all. Chips Inhale, you know it never fails when we're involved. Somehow there's chips, we'll eat them all. That's the lyrics. I thought it was off-book, I wasn't.
Speaker 2:
[142:26] We've done this for a decade.
Speaker 3:
[142:28] We haven't done this segment for a decade.
Speaker 2:
[142:30] I think I knew the words to it.
Speaker 3:
[142:31] Do you know the chorus of Chips Inhale? You know it never fails when we're involved. Somehow there's chips, we'll eat them all.
Speaker 2:
[142:38] Can I try to sing it off the top of my head?
Speaker 3:
[142:40] Go for it.
Speaker 2:
[142:42] Katie Casey was. All right, here we go. Let's eat some of these ketchup chips.
Speaker 3:
[142:50] So our buddy Tyler, a 7 a.m. Detroit guy, the super fan who waited in line starting at 7 a.m. so he could be the first person in the theater at our Detroit show a few years back. Did not have to show up at 7 a.m. Did not have to show up at 7 a.m. But he sent us a lovely, a mini fridge-sized box full of treats.
Speaker 2:
[143:10] It was huge.
Speaker 3:
[143:10] It was absolutely over the top.
Speaker 2:
[143:11] It was too kind.
Speaker 3:
[143:12] But included in that, this massive bundle of gifts and snacks was Cleveland Ketchup. Cleveland Ketchup Company, sorry. And these are ketchup-flavored chips. There's bacon and bourbon ketchup. There's classic ketchup. And there is ghost pepper ketchup, which I might like because I'm a bit of a heat seeker. I say we start with the classic ketchup.
Speaker 2:
[143:32] I agree with that, Weiss.
Speaker 3:
[143:33] I'm gonna take a couple of these and pass them to my left.
Speaker 2:
[143:35] You almost spilled those chips.
Speaker 3:
[143:36] Did I?
Speaker 2:
[143:38] They're teetering. Oh boy. Now, do you like ketchup chips?
Speaker 3:
[143:44] I like ketchup chips quite a bit.
Speaker 2:
[143:45] I like the Canadian ketchup chips.
Speaker 3:
[143:47] Yeah, I like Canadian ketchup chips. I actually have not had an American version of it.
Speaker 2:
[143:56] I mean, he's thinking on these. Okay, okay. No, I do like Lay's ketchup chips better than these.
Speaker 3:
[144:06] Should we move on? So these are a ruffle chip.
Speaker 2:
[144:08] These are a ruffle chip. I don't think these are bad. These are the thick ribbed chips.
Speaker 3:
[144:16] I like these. I mean, I think they're solid.
Speaker 2:
[144:19] You say thick ribbed chips?
Speaker 3:
[144:20] Yeah, they're like a thick ribbing to them.
Speaker 2:
[144:23] It sounds condom-esque. Well, it was. It was.
Speaker 3:
[144:28] Would you wear a condom in a wet boxer short contest?
Speaker 2:
[144:32] I think it would be, that's probably the safest way to enter one.
Speaker 3:
[144:35] Okay. Because then you're getting more of a general outlier.
Speaker 2:
[144:38] I mean, it would be so funny for someone to be like, I think that guy's fucking wearing a condom.
Speaker 3:
[144:42] Is he soft wearing a condom? What's going on? All right, this is the Bacon and Bourbon varietal.
Speaker 2:
[144:50] Wow, deus has thoughts.
Speaker 5:
[144:54] They're sweeter than I expected.
Speaker 2:
[144:56] They are sweet.
Speaker 4:
[144:57] That was my first thought too.
Speaker 5:
[144:59] Like I was expecting like ketchup tang and it said sweet.
Speaker 2:
[145:03] I can fuck with these.
Speaker 5:
[145:04] Absolutely.
Speaker 2:
[145:05] Well, okay. That's funny because I never liked bacon as a flavor in chips. Bacon and bourbon, maybe that's the secret.
Speaker 5:
[145:13] There we go.
Speaker 3:
[145:13] They're getting a little sweet there too.
Speaker 4:
[145:15] There's a smoky thing happening with those.
Speaker 3:
[145:17] It's like a smoky sweet, yeah. That's fun.
Speaker 2:
[145:22] That is fun.
Speaker 3:
[145:23] That's really fun. I like that quite a bit.
Speaker 2:
[145:26] I do not like bacon flavored. Yeah. This is maybe like one of the only bacon-flavored chips I've ever kind of enjoyed.
Speaker 3:
[145:36] Again, to Emmy's point, it's more of a smoky sort of quality to it than that sciency bacon flavor you get. I'm moving on to the ghost pepper ketchup. Where are you on spicy?
Speaker 4:
[145:44] I love it.
Speaker 3:
[145:45] Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:
[145:48] Okay. I can with those too, I'm with you.
Speaker 3:
[145:54] This hasn't burned to them.
Speaker 4:
[145:58] There it is. I got it.
Speaker 2:
[146:00] What number alarm are you talking to here? One alarm, two alarm, all the way to five alarm.
Speaker 3:
[146:06] I think we might be looking at a 3.5 alarm right now.
Speaker 2:
[146:09] Really?
Speaker 3:
[146:10] Let me have another chip or two.
Speaker 5:
[146:13] These bacon barbecue ones just kind of taste like a barbecue chip.
Speaker 3:
[146:16] Yeah, they're like a really good barbecue chip. This takes a second to settle in. Once it start going, it's like, oh yeah, this thing has got some heat.
Speaker 2:
[146:24] It's got some heat. That's got some heat.
Speaker 3:
[146:26] There's a lot of times you see ghost pepper and it's like fucking whatever. You're just using, this is not like the spiciest thing I've ever had. This isn't either, but it's like this is decently spicy.
Speaker 4:
[146:34] But I guess it does have a ghostly way of sort of apparating after you've eaten.
Speaker 3:
[146:40] Right.
Speaker 4:
[146:40] There it is. That's your spicy sound?
Speaker 2:
[146:46] Yeah. It's turning me into a damn owl. These things are fucking hot.
Speaker 5:
[146:50] A ooter. Ooh. He's hooting.
Speaker 4:
[146:54] His head rotates 360 degrees.
Speaker 2:
[146:58] It's terrifying.
Speaker 3:
[147:01] Yeah, that has some burn to it. You know what I-
Speaker 2:
[147:03] I gotta say. Yeah. Ghost pepper ones may be my favorite. I like the- I like the- They're fucking- they are- that's good spice for Chip.
Speaker 3:
[147:13] It's good spice. It's good spice.
Speaker 2:
[147:15] Wise, I agree with you. That is like a 3.5.
Speaker 3:
[147:18] Yeah, it's decently spicy. I like these all quite a bit. I think the ketchup, the classic ketchup, surprisingly, is my least favorite. Agreed. And, again, also surprisingly, bacon and bourbon, my number one. Mine too. And then I think probably the- the middle point would be the ghost peppers, which were good. Good and decently spicy. You're feeling that burn, aren't you?
Speaker 2:
[147:38] People are howling out back there.
Speaker 5:
[147:39] It does take a minute. You're like, these are great. They're not too spicy. And then it's just like all at once.
Speaker 3:
[147:44] Yeah, it has a delayed quality.
Speaker 2:
[147:46] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[147:47] All snacks, though.
Speaker 2:
[147:48] Yeah. God bless him for putting some heat in there.
Speaker 3:
[147:50] Yeah. What is your ranking, Mitch?
Speaker 2:
[147:52] Ghost pepper one? I would maybe- here's the thing. I could eat the ghost pepper ones more for flavor, but for heat, I don't know if I could eat them that long. But them and the bacon bourbon ones I think are both good and probably very close. I maybe give the ghost pepper ones a slight edge. Wow. Bacon bourbon, ketchup, pretty low last. I don't think they're bad, bad chips, but they are just-
Speaker 3:
[148:18] I've had better ketchup chips.
Speaker 2:
[148:19] Yeah, I've had better ketchup chips, just not my favorite.
Speaker 3:
[148:22] The ketchup chip company, you'd maybe want something a little bit better for your baseline.
Speaker 4:
[148:25] I would say these are the best chips from Cleveland that I've had.
Speaker 2:
[148:31] Pretty good.
Speaker 4:
[148:32] Yeah, there's only one in this category, but suck it, Cincinnati.
Speaker 3:
[148:42] Is your ranking bacon bourbon number one?
Speaker 4:
[148:45] Bacon bourbon number one.
Speaker 3:
[148:46] Then what would you have second, ghost pepper or the-
Speaker 4:
[148:48] Ghost pepper.
Speaker 3:
[148:49] We're on the same page.
Speaker 2:
[148:50] I'd give them all snacks, a very, very, very slight snack to the ketchup chips.
Speaker 3:
[148:54] Yeah, I agree. That's the slightest snack.
Speaker 2:
[148:57] Guess what? Those ghost pepper chips are turning this into a Doughboys wet t-shirt concert. I'm sweatin over here. They got some heat.
Speaker 5:
[149:04] They do.
Speaker 2:
[149:05] What are you guys munching on now? Have you gone back to the bacon?
Speaker 5:
[149:08] I went back to bacon bourbon for a second.
Speaker 1:
[149:10] Same ranking as the two of you.
Speaker 5:
[149:11] Yeah, same ranking. I went back to bacon bourbon for a second and then I just went for ghost pepper again. They're gotta have one to go back and forth between.
Speaker 4:
[149:17] Oh yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a go-between. Let's bring these back. Let's run it back. Run it back. Which one of these do you think would burn your eyes the most if you touched?
Speaker 5:
[149:27] Mix these two into a bowl together, maybe?
Speaker 3:
[149:30] Oh, that feels fun.
Speaker 4:
[149:31] To have some fun.
Speaker 2:
[149:32] Oh yeah, definitely do not- This is why I wear a condom at all times, because if you're touching ghost peppers-
Speaker 3:
[149:38] Yeah, you don't want to be touching your hog. Because you might be jacking off at any point. You're not going to wash your hands first.
Speaker 2:
[149:44] No, of course not. I am more of a heat seeker than you are.
Speaker 5:
[149:53] Whoa, shots fired.
Speaker 3:
[149:55] What are you talking about? Why would you say that?
Speaker 2:
[149:58] Because I like the spicy one more. When we did the hot ones challenge, I didn't have a sip of water or milk the entire time.
Speaker 3:
[150:05] Yeah, because you wanted to prove some point.
Speaker 2:
[150:07] I think I can handle heat better than you, baby.
Speaker 3:
[150:09] I don't think that's true.
Speaker 2:
[150:10] I think you need to get out of the kitchen because I don't think you can stand the heat.
Speaker 3:
[150:13] All right, well, you just-
Speaker 5:
[150:13] All right, we're going to have a spice off.
Speaker 3:
[150:15] Yeah, you just signed your own death warrant, because I'm going to outspice the fuck out of you. Uh-oh. Not right now, but we're going to do a contest.
Speaker 5:
[150:22] We're going to do a spice off episode, and then we're going to do a follow up the next day about your holes.
Speaker 2:
[150:26] I mean, I love this because also-
Speaker 4:
[150:27] About your holes, how much glass comes out of his head.
Speaker 2:
[150:33] I'm eating spicy stuff and glass is just moving out of my head and falling to the ground. I like the idea of that we try spice off when we both die. You like that? It's the funniest way for us to die. It's like, it's a spice off and then we just both have ulcers and die or whatever.
Speaker 3:
[150:52] And you know what? We need someone to investigate that. Perhaps a Benoit Blonk.
Speaker 1:
[151:01] Benoit Spice?
Speaker 3:
[151:03] Benoit Spice is good.
Speaker 2:
[151:05] No, no it's not.
Speaker 3:
[151:07] We'll work on it. We'll figure it out.
Speaker 4:
[151:08] He's the sixth Spice Girl?
Speaker 5:
[151:12] What about Sherlock Spice?
Speaker 3:
[151:14] Sherlock Spice is good. I do like Benoit Spice because we've mined the Sherlock. We'll work on it. We'll figure out a song. Hey, just like a restaurant, if I had your feedback, let's open up the feedback. And thanks Tyler. That was very nice of you to send these. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from Ben. Ben writes, you have to stop eat... Here's the scenario. You have to stop eating one food group out of the classic food pyramid, grains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy and sweets forever. It still exists. You just can't eat it. What do you choose? If you already can't eat one group, like dairy, because you're lactose intolerant, then pick a second group to never eat again. Wow.
Speaker 2:
[151:50] This also sounded like... It sounded like he was yelling at us at first. It sounded like he was like, you have to stop eating.
Speaker 3:
[151:55] That's how I read it. Yeah, that's how I thought it was.
Speaker 2:
[151:57] I thought it was like someone just looking out for us.
Speaker 5:
[152:01] You have to stop eating and send it.
Speaker 3:
[152:06] Brains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy, and sweets. Mitch, are you picking vegetables or fruits?
Speaker 2:
[152:13] Wise, you're not wrong. It would be one of those two. Is fats not on there or sweets?
Speaker 3:
[152:18] Sweets is one of them, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[152:19] Oh man, sweets is so tough. You can never have like a soda ever again. That's like such a bummer or ice cream or whatever.
Speaker 4:
[152:26] I'm guessing fruits could make up for some lack of sweets.
Speaker 3:
[152:30] There you go, yeah. Nature's candy.
Speaker 2:
[152:32] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[152:35] Yeah, like those fucking strawberries we had from Publix were good as fuck.
Speaker 2:
[152:38] I mean, that's like a dessert quality strawberry. See you later, veggies. Bye.
Speaker 3:
[152:47] No potatoes, no corn?
Speaker 2:
[152:49] Oh, wikes. Me Irish heart.
Speaker 3:
[152:54] I guess you could eat potatoes because, no, they would be under vegetables, not grains. So yeah, even though they're starch.
Speaker 2:
[153:00] I can't give up bread. I could never give up bread.
Speaker 3:
[153:03] No cabbage, no onions, no garlic.
Speaker 5:
[153:07] no onions and garlic.
Speaker 2:
[153:09] That's tough. That's real tough. God, is it sweets? That sucks.
Speaker 3:
[153:15] It might be sweets.
Speaker 2:
[153:16] You can never, I can never have a Coke Zero, I guess counts, right? Does fake sugar count?
Speaker 3:
[153:20] If meat and dairy were broken into different, I think it does, I think it would probably be under sweets. If meat and fish rather were broken into different categories, then it would probably pick meat and keep fish. But because meat also includes fish, I was like, fuck, I kind of need it.
Speaker 2:
[153:35] I would be so, oh man, giving up fish. I was just about to say, like, maybe I would give that up of all the proteins, but I don't know I could.
Speaker 3:
[153:41] When I didn't eat any meat at all for a year, I had my no meat chili eat. I missed poultry more than red meat and I missed fish a lot more than I expected.
Speaker 2:
[153:51] Red meat would be the easiest one to give up. Red meat would be easy, but like that's, yeah. If you had to break it down, I mean, when I say easiest one to give up, that means no more burger ever again, that sucks.
Speaker 3:
[153:57] But there are, like the best fake meats are red meats, simulacrums. So like, if you had like, you could have impossible burgers and you know what? I could have impossible whopper last night. Like it's, I totally am down with those.
Speaker 2:
[154:08] They still got them?
Speaker 3:
[154:09] They still got them.
Speaker 5:
[154:11] I love that.
Speaker 3:
[154:12] Yeah, no, they're one of the only major fast food chains that still has a fake meat on them.
Speaker 2:
[154:17] Not only is BK back, BK is now like running up the ranks of being the, it's gonna be the best one.
Speaker 3:
[154:21] BK might be the best one.
Speaker 2:
[154:22] It might be the best one, it's happening.
Speaker 3:
[154:25] It might win the fast food wars.
Speaker 2:
[154:26] Maybe it will.
Speaker 3:
[154:28] In our coming, you know.
Speaker 2:
[154:31] Was that from Judge, no, what was it?
Speaker 3:
[154:32] No, not Judge Dredd. It's the other one.
Speaker 2:
[154:35] It is, it's a Stallone.
Speaker 3:
[154:36] Now I need to use my phone.
Speaker 2:
[154:37] It's a Stallone movie.
Speaker 3:
[154:38] It's the Stallone, the Stone Wesley Snipes movie. Oh, right.
Speaker 2:
[154:41] Demolition Man.
Speaker 3:
[154:42] Demolition Man. I'm gonna edit out us trying to figure out what Demolition Man puts.
Speaker 2:
[154:46] Just have us landing on Demolition Man right away. And also have everyone not look confused when me and Wiger are talking about a 40-year-old Stallone movie that no one cares about the reference to.
Speaker 3:
[154:56] Have you seen Demolition Man?
Speaker 2:
[154:57] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[154:57] It's fun.
Speaker 4:
[154:58] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[154:59] It's also kind of bad, but it's fun.
Speaker 4:
[155:02] That works for me.
Speaker 2:
[155:03] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[155:05] I think, here's the thing, grains.
Speaker 2:
[155:07] She's on our podcast.
Speaker 3:
[155:10] Dairy has, fuck. So if I get rid of sweets.
Speaker 2:
[155:14] Dairy means no more cheese, my bad.
Speaker 3:
[155:16] No more cheese, no more ice cream, no more butter. I think I gotta keep dairy.
Speaker 5:
[155:20] Ice cream's like a crossover.
Speaker 4:
[155:21] Ice cream is a sweet.
Speaker 3:
[155:23] It's a sweet, but wouldn't that include, it could be a dairy as well.
Speaker 4:
[155:26] Yes. No, I feel.
Speaker 2:
[155:29] You could have some sugar-free ice cream. Couldn't you?
Speaker 5:
[155:31] You could have sherbert, sherbet.
Speaker 3:
[155:34] I could have sherbet?
Speaker 5:
[155:35] That doesn't have dairy in it, right?
Speaker 4:
[155:36] Aren't there sherbet? That's more of a sweet than a dairy.
Speaker 3:
[155:39] That's true. I could have that. I could have sorbet. Fuck, is it dairy? I just feel like cheese and butter is just so up.
Speaker 5:
[155:46] That's really hard. Oh, butter.
Speaker 3:
[155:48] Butter's such a big one.
Speaker 2:
[155:50] Butter and bread are just so important to me. I love-
Speaker 5:
[155:54] You know where your bread is buttered.
Speaker 2:
[155:55] I know where my bread is buttered, by me.
Speaker 3:
[155:58] I'm making a tough choice and I'm going to say meat. I think I could make do with substitute proteins because I've done it before and everything else is still fun to eat. I'd sell mac and cheese if I don't have meat. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:
[156:12] I think you're a fool.
Speaker 3:
[156:12] I'd sell cheese pizza.
Speaker 2:
[156:14] Oh man, am I with you? No more burgers?
Speaker 3:
[156:19] But no fish is the problem. No fish is really tough.
Speaker 2:
[156:22] Why can't they just, I mean, no fish is hard, but also if fish was individual in the category, I would choose fish.
Speaker 3:
[156:29] You choose fish as a New Englander?
Speaker 2:
[156:31] I know, it's up.
Speaker 3:
[156:31] I'd choose meat over, I'd get meat the out of here before fish.
Speaker 5:
[156:33] I think they'll kick you out of New England for that.
Speaker 2:
[156:34] You know what, I'd actually maybe choose chicken.
Speaker 3:
[156:37] You can't just choose chicken.
Speaker 2:
[156:39] I know I can't.
Speaker 3:
[156:41] That's not the exercise.
Speaker 5:
[156:42] Isn't the point of the food pyramid too, that you need all these things to live, so he's basically like, take one of these things away that you need to survive.
Speaker 2:
[156:49] I refuse to answer.
Speaker 3:
[156:51] Wow.
Speaker 5:
[156:52] I'll kill myself.
Speaker 2:
[156:53] Yeah, this is fucked up.
Speaker 3:
[156:54] Well, this is the thing. This is the jigsaw-like scenario that Bennett's proposed, so you two are ending up dead, and you know what? I'm taking the keys out of your stomachs, and I'm getting the fuck out of there.
Speaker 2:
[157:04] Enjoy your fucking meatless life, you fucking dweeb.
Speaker 3:
[157:07] I think I will.
Speaker 2:
[157:07] Guess what? That includes no wet boxer shows.
Speaker 3:
[157:12] There's no wet boxer short competitions, and there's no meat.
Speaker 2:
[157:15] That's right. That's what I'm saying. So now how do you feel about your decision?
Speaker 3:
[157:22] No meat means I can't suck dick or eat pussy? Oh my god.
Speaker 5:
[157:27] No, pussy's a veggie.
Speaker 3:
[157:32] Emmy, you have to get rid of one. Grains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy and sweets.
Speaker 4:
[157:37] It's a little bit of a boring answer, but I'm going to get rid of sweets because I think fruit could fill the void.
Speaker 5:
[157:43] I think that is the real answer.
Speaker 3:
[157:44] I think that's probably the sanest answer.
Speaker 2:
[157:46] Could I get a Coke Zero or no?
Speaker 1:
[157:49] Yes, there's no sugar.
Speaker 3:
[157:51] Wait, so you think sugar-free doesn't put it in the sweets category? Oh, that's interesting. So then I might say sweets as well.
Speaker 2:
[157:59] We just fucking gamed Jigsaw himself. We fucking figured it out.
Speaker 3:
[158:04] Yeah, we figured it out.
Speaker 2:
[158:05] That's the secret. I'm pulling the key right back out of your ass and I'm fucking getting out of there.
Speaker 3:
[158:09] It wasn't even in there to begin with.
Speaker 2:
[158:11] Where the hell is this thing?
Speaker 3:
[158:12] In the door? Somebody needs to get it out. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer, Amelia Marino. Our video editor, Mike Dorfman. We got merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboys. And Emma, we got some live shows coming up.
Speaker 5:
[158:36] Yes, we're in Irvine in San Jose at the end of April, the 29th and the 30th and then at the end of are you taking a video right now?
Speaker 2:
[158:44] Yes, I was supposed to get dinner with Edwin and it's now 10.30. So I was letting him know that, are you good friend, Edwin Stevens?
Speaker 5:
[158:50] Edwin, sorry Edwin. Come see us in North Carolina and Atlanta at the end of May. It'll be awesome.
Speaker 3:
[158:58] And tickets are available at birdfuck.com/live or doughboyspodcast.com/live. And we can also get the Doughboys double at patreon.com/doughboys. Emmy Blotnick, what's her secret is the special. Congratulations. Thank you. I'm very excited to check to check. Did you tape it in New York?
Speaker 4:
[159:15] I taped it at Union Hall.
Speaker 3:
[159:16] Oh, awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 4:
[159:18] And it's going to be it'll be on the 800 pound gorilla app May 18th and then on YouTube June 18th. And we're having a special premiere party at Union Hall on May 30th at 730. It'll be me and some special guests.
Speaker 3:
[159:33] Well, so if you're in New York or the surrounding area, go see Emmy live and celebrate the release of the special May 30th. Where can people get tickets or the studio on social media?
Speaker 5:
[159:45] I'll put the link in the episode description. The link will be in the episode description.
Speaker 4:
[159:47] Yeah, the Union Hall website has its calendar. You can go there. And I'm going to keep eating sweets until then. I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2:
[159:59] You don't have to stop.
Speaker 3:
[160:02] It wasn't binding. It wasn't a legal sort of framework.
Speaker 4:
[160:04] Thank god.
Speaker 2:
[160:06] Not yet. We'll see what RFK will see if he changes things. We might have to eat raccoon dick from here on out.
Speaker 3:
[160:13] I'll start eating it, I guess, just to get used to it.
Speaker 2:
[160:16] Because it's going to happen.
Speaker 3:
[160:19] Emmy, you're the best. I always had so much fun in writers' rooms with you. Always a delight to have you on the podcast. It's so great when you're in town. And I'm very excited to have you back in the podcast next time you're available. What a hoot.
Speaker 4:
[160:31] Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You guys are the best. I'm going to call in and say something crazy on that phone line, you gays.
Speaker 2:
[160:41] RFK came to I was in a Web Boxer contest, and he said that I had a raccoon.
Speaker 4:
[160:47] And that's a compliment from him.
Speaker 3:
[160:48] Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:
[160:49] I think it's a nice thing.
Speaker 3:
[160:50] That's what I paid to see. I'm going to cut that thing off.
Speaker 2:
[160:55] Him chasing me around in Web Boxers.
Speaker 3:
[160:57] With a pair of scissors.
Speaker 2:
[161:01] I have to plug something.
Speaker 3:
[161:02] Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 2:
[161:05] Napa Boys, now on digital, streaming.
Speaker 3:
[161:07] The Napa Boys streaming now.
Speaker 2:
[161:09] Check it out.
Speaker 3:
[161:09] Mitch is great in it.
Speaker 2:
[161:10] I gotta plug it.
Speaker 4:
[161:12] Where do you stream it?
Speaker 2:
[161:13] You can stream it anywhere where you can stream a movie. You can buy it digitally, I think, wherever you buy movies. And then there's going to be a DVD of it. Because today is April 22nd. April 23rd. So three days. It's been available for three days.
Speaker 3:
[161:28] Wow. You know what I say? To act out a Drake meme? Twisted Metal streaming? Napa Boys streaming?
Speaker 5:
[161:38] Hey!
Speaker 2:
[161:39] Wives, you're my man. Wow.
Speaker 3:
[161:42] Hey, that's, what do we say at the end of the day, podcast?
Speaker 5:
[161:45] Bye.
Speaker 2:
[161:45] That'll do it for our show.
Speaker 3:
[161:46] Oh, no, no, I have a thing I say.
Speaker 2:
[161:49] For the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
Speaker 3:
[161:50] Oh yeah, yeah, until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Wiger. Happy eating.
Speaker 2:
[161:53] You forgot that?
Speaker 3:
[161:54] We went very long.
Speaker 5:
[161:56] I thought that was written in your notes.
Speaker 3:
[161:58] Bye.
Speaker 2:
[162:00] That was a Headgum podcast.
Speaker 7:
[162:02] Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Speaker 6:
[162:04] Sterling K. Brown.
Speaker 2:
[162:05] And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast That Was Us, now on Headgum.
Speaker 7:
[162:10] Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive. From our show, This Is Us, we're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Speaker 2:
[162:23] Are we going to cry?
Speaker 6:
[162:24] Yes, a little bit.
Speaker 2:
[162:25] Are we going to laugh?
Speaker 6:
[162:26] A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.