transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] When you're expecting, suddenly, everyone has an opinion about everything you do. What you feed your baby, what you dress your baby in, how you parent, all of the things, right? You get flooded with baby clothing recommendations, but most of them don't actually make your life easier. But here, with Little Sleepies, it actually makes diapering and changing and all of the things so much more seamless, especially because Little Sleepies was created by real moms who understand the realities of daily life with kids. These are pieces that are super soft, comfortable fabrics that actually hold up, and they fit up to three times longer than other brands. Keep that in mind because they do thoughtful details that make every day dressing and diaper changing a breeze. Little Sleepies releases new custom design prints weekly, and Little Sleepies is always dropping new styles for both bedtime and playtime, so your kids can stay comfortable and stylish 24-7. And Little Sleepies offers licensed prints with brands like Disney, Marvel, and so much more. So we absolutely love that. And if you guys are expecting or dressing little ones, check out Little Sleepies. You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code PODSPRING26 for 15% off full price products. That's P-O-D-S-P-R-I-N-G and number 26 for 15% off full price products.

Speaker 2:
[01:12] Hey, y'all. It's Lindsie. I just wanted to hop on here really quick before the episode starts and let you guys know that this was recorded prior to any recent events. So if you're listening and feel like something isn't being addressed, that's simply because of the timing. I'm going to be taking the time that I need to process some of these things and handle it in the right way. And I really appreciate you guys giving me that space. And I just appreciate your love and support more than you know. It truly means everything to me. I hate gift giving and receiving.

Speaker 1:
[01:43] Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you.

Speaker 3:
[01:46] This is Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley.

Speaker 2:
[01:50] I really want you to be in your feels, Kail.

Speaker 1:
[01:52] That does not interest me whatsoever.

Speaker 2:
[01:54] I feel very attacked by you.

Speaker 3:
[01:55] A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye.

Speaker 2:
[02:00] I'm just not with the fakery anymore.

Speaker 1:
[02:02] There's a fakery bakery around here.

Speaker 3:
[02:04] Here's Kail and Lindsie.

Speaker 1:
[02:05] Are we ready?

Speaker 2:
[02:09] Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convos podcast. It's me and Kail and our neatoes.

Speaker 1:
[02:16] And our neatoes. I got the pink glitter one.

Speaker 2:
[02:18] How are you doing?

Speaker 1:
[02:19] Pretty good. Just sending out tour links to everybody so that they can come on tour with us for funsies.

Speaker 2:
[02:24] I love that. Actually, speaking of tour, I got a couple of text messages privately from people who I've not heard from in forever that was like, hey, I'm going to come to y'all's Atlanta show. And I'm like, can you not? They're like, well, I bought front row seats.

Speaker 1:
[02:43] So this does make me nervous. It does make me because I feel like I've done a good job separating. Like I can compartmentalize the way that I say the most unhinged stuff on these podcasts.

Speaker 2:
[02:58] I can't.

Speaker 1:
[02:59] And I go out in the world, in the wilderness. And I assume that the people that know me in real life do not know what I talk about on these podcasts. So then I think, oh, fuck, you're going to buy tickets to my live show. And then I'm going to be face to face with you while I'm saying some off the wall shit about doing anal with my ex. Do you know what I mean? So like in real time on a day to day basis, I just assume these people have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.

Speaker 2:
[03:28] You know what? Speaking of anal, somebody told me recently, they were like, we're going to get you some like balls, like to try to like loosen it up back there. So it'll work.

Speaker 1:
[03:41] Probably not.

Speaker 2:
[03:42] You know anything about that?

Speaker 1:
[03:43] Benoit balls. I do know about Benoit. I also know about anal beads, but I just don't know that that would be a pleasurable experience for me.

Speaker 2:
[03:51] There was a person on the crew of Chrisley Knows Best who walked around with Benoit balls in all day, all day long. And I'm like, how tight would that be?

Speaker 1:
[04:01] Yeah, I probably need that.

Speaker 2:
[04:03] Pelvic floor, honey. You've got to do Pilates for the pelvic floor.

Speaker 1:
[04:05] I'm going to try to do Pilates at Killer Sports. I'll do my best, but the reformers.

Speaker 2:
[04:09] I'm going to come train you.

Speaker 1:
[04:10] Yeah, count me in.

Speaker 2:
[04:12] Can we talk about a hill that we would die on? So this has to be an unpopular opinion. It's something that we refuse to budge on. So an example would be...

Speaker 1:
[04:24] I'm going to get really emotionally charged here in a minute.

Speaker 2:
[04:27] And I'm not rage baiting you.

Speaker 1:
[04:29] I'm going to rage bait everybody and I'm going to flip out.

Speaker 2:
[04:32] An example would be Pluto is a planet.

Speaker 1:
[04:35] No, I have a...

Speaker 2:
[04:36] Top sheets are useless.

Speaker 1:
[04:38] That is true.

Speaker 2:
[04:39] Books should be organized by color, not genre or last name.

Speaker 1:
[04:43] Also no.

Speaker 2:
[04:44] So what's yours?

Speaker 1:
[04:46] Like one that's not on this list? Because what I have to say, I'm pissed about. Okay. And I don't know if Ike was rage baiting me or not. So we're about to get into this. And I know Alessandra will back me the fuck up. So Ike, when you fucking hear this, I hope you eat your fucking words.

Speaker 2:
[05:03] As she's looking directly at the camera.

Speaker 1:
[05:06] So I'm scrolling on Facebook yesterday. Try to follow the bouncing ball. This is a hill I will die on. So try to follow the bouncing ball and circle it back to I'm dying on this hill. Scrolling on Facebook and you know how they do the reels that are just to grab your attention?

Speaker 2:
[05:21] Yeah, Kail, I've fell into those reels multiple times, brought up topics on the podcast and you're like, Lindsie, that's rage bait.

Speaker 1:
[05:28] Yes, or it's AI, which I also have fallen for. Now this specific one, full transparency, full disclosure, I do not know if it was rage bait, I do not know if it was AI. All I know is that it sparked a conversation with Ike that sent me into a fucking tunnel vision spiral that I can never get out of. There was this woman who was with a man, I don't know if it was her man, I don't know if it was her brother, I don't give a fuck who it was. It was a man was with her, she was a grown adult in a thong bikini. And if you've ever been to Miami or any other strips where sometimes there are restaurants lining the strip and you come off the beach and you have to walk through the crowds of these tables, right? Right. Regardless of any of that, I am of the opinion that I do not give a single fuck if a grown woman wears a thong bikini or not. I don't give a fuck. That does not mean that she's looking for attention. That is because she either feels confident, she feels good about herself. She has nothing to do with self-respect. It has nothing to do with wanting attention. Now, does that is that a one size fits all? No, there are women who look for attention, just like there are men who look for attention. But this specific video, without knowing details, I argued because he was like, oh, she doesn't respect herself and she's just looking for attention. Why are you assuming she's looking for attention? That's projection because you post selfies and you like the attention because you know you look good. So you post selfies or videos of yourself because you know you look good and you're looking for attention. He agreed. I said, so you're projecting onto that woman who you're saying is only looking for attention. Just because she's in a thong fucking bikini doesn't mean she's looking for attention. She just wants to fucking feel good about herself. Well, that gives us the right to speak to her. These are the same women that get mad that they're being catcalled. Fuck you.

Speaker 2:
[07:13] Catcalled is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[07:16] You don't even get to look. That doesn't just because someone is walking by in a thong bikini, does not give the right to a man to look. Control your fucking self as a man, control your eyeballs, look that way. I don't care. He's like, well, we can't look? No. Just because she's walking around naked, half naked, whatever, does not mean it's a lack of self-respect, does not mean looking for attention, does not mean that it is welcoming eyes and comments. Just because you cannot control your fucking self, does not give you the right to look or say anything to me.

Speaker 2:
[07:53] I would tend to agree with everything that you're saying. I also would say people who have an issue with that, and it's involving children, to maybe take your kids to more kid-friendly places. So then you are somewhat controlling the environment that you're putting them in.

Speaker 1:
[08:10] I had a friend years ago who did wear a thong bikini to my child's birthday party. I did feel like that was a little bit inappropriate. That had nothing to do, in my opinion. I don't think she was looking for attention. I think she was just confident in who she was and she didn't really think about the surroundings, unfortunately. So to me, I was just like, whatever, that's just like who she is. But on a regular fucking day, I don't give a fuck if you wear a thong bikini, if you don't wear a thong bikini. Is it something that I would necessarily do? No, but I don't care if somebody else who's a grown adult does it. That does not mean she's looking for attention. She just might feel like she looks good herself. You don't need male validation to decide to wear certain things.

Speaker 2:
[08:50] Let me tell you, and I'm going to find the photo so that we can post it on Instagram. I went to Great Wolf Lodge one time. This was when I was still married. That was back in the era where I cared what we all looked like collectively. Now, I just really don't give a fuck. But I really cared. I'm like, okay, I'm going to buy family matching bathing suits. That was the era I was in. Will's trunks are going to be the same pattern as my bathing suit, and Jackson's going to have the same trunks as Will. So we take a photo at Great Wolf Lodge, and some woman passes by me and says, completely inappropriate bathing suit. Mind you, this was a high, like a high, it was a bikini, but it was like-

Speaker 1:
[09:38] High-waisted?

Speaker 2:
[09:39] The high-waisted ones that like completely basically cover your belly, and there's like a small gap between your top. The kind I wear. Now, was it cheekier than maybe a one piece? Probably, but I don't think it was inappropriate at all.

Speaker 1:
[09:58] Also, there are cheeky one pieces now.

Speaker 2:
[10:01] For sure. And it's just like, why did you just ruin my time? Because now I just went back into like our little private area, and now I'm crying and feel humiliated because I was just trying to be cute with my family, and now you're in my business.

Speaker 1:
[10:15] But I don't understand why she was saying it was so inappropriate, because it was a little cheeky?

Speaker 2:
[10:19] Yeah, because it was cheeky.

Speaker 1:
[10:20] Projection. That has to be, that's projection. I remember those days when you did that, and I distinctly remember seeing a picture of you guys at Great Wolf Lodge or Kalahari, something like that. I don't remember the exact bathing suit, but like...

Speaker 2:
[10:35] And yeah, my cheeks were out. I'm not saying that they weren't.

Speaker 1:
[10:37] But it also wasn't a thong either.

Speaker 2:
[10:39] No, it was not.

Speaker 1:
[10:40] But to me, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[10:43] Like, why are you hurting my feelings?

Speaker 1:
[10:45] That's projection. That is projection. Because she wishes that she could wear that. And I don't mean that in a mean way, because she probably doesn't even realize it's projection the same way that Ike doesn't realize that what he did was projection, what he said was projection. That has to be she's not happy with her body. And so she felt like she needed to make you feel like you were inappropriate. Well, then, so Ike calls Twizz. And Twizz is like, oh, she's with her man. No, she's just with her man. She's doing whatever. If she's by herself and yeah, she's looking for attention. What?

Speaker 2:
[11:15] Like, what if she just wanted to look cute with the girls?

Speaker 1:
[11:17] I was just so I said, I'm going to talk about this on my, I'm going to talk shit about you on my podcast. I'm going to talk shit about you on my podcast.

Speaker 2:
[11:24] And if you're listening, I am sorry.

Speaker 1:
[11:27] I'm disappointed.

Speaker 2:
[11:28] And I'm sorry in advance.

Speaker 1:
[11:31] Y'all, I wear skims every single day and I won't switch to any other place. Okay. Their undergarments, their outfits, their everything. I wear bras, panties, tank tops, t-shirts, all of it. I have their sweatsuits, literally everything. I'm talking everyday cotton. Okay. What is your favorite bra? Skims, everyday cotton. I think skims read my mind because I recently decided to replace a bunch of my underwear and I got exactly what I want with their new cotton pieces. Skims just launched a new fabric, which is everyday cotton and it's perfect. Everyone knows that skims is the expert in comfortable underwear. And I think I'm going to replace my entire top two drawers with all of skims' underwear. As you guys know, I'm not a big chest girly anymore, but skims had me covered back when I had big boobs and now, okay, they're the best and you guys need to try them. I cannot live without my everyday cotton scoop bralette. I just took it off to take a shower before this recording. And you guys know, I wore skims before my breast reduction, after my breast reduction, and I will gift skims until the end of time. And you guys know Mother's Day is coming up. Tell your man, tell your wife, whoever it is, that you want skims, you want everyday cotton for Mother's Day. I only wear cotton underwear, but usually I can't find great bras made with cotton fabric. I've been wearing my everyday cotton under every single outfit, but I promise you these are the best products you're going to put on your body. Shop everyday cotton and all of our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you and select podcast in the survey and let them know Coffee Convos sent you in the drop down menu that follows. It's Way Day at Wayfair from April 25th through the 27th. You can score the best deals in home like up to 80% off with free shipping on everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs from furniture and decor to home improvement and outdoor essentials and it's all on sale during Wayday. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget and the best part is that everything ships fast and free during Wayday. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair verified, aka your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10-point quality inspection so you know you're getting a quality piece no matter what your budget. You guys already know that I did my camper with Wayfair. I also did the content house and all the kids rooms upstairs last summer, which is super, super, super exciting because the kids were so excited to get all new stuff. I absolutely just love that you can fit all of Wayfair stuff into your own budget between the camper and the room and the content house. Those are all very different budgets for me and they all worked out seamlessly. I absolutely loved that I could also add on delivery and assembly, which was really nice because I never know when I'm going to be home, if I'm going to be able to build something. And so this just made it so much easier. Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. When you're expecting, suddenly everyone has an opinion about everything you do. What you feed your baby, what you dress your baby in, how you parent, all of the things, right? You get flooded with baby clothing recommendations, but most of them don't actually make your life easier. But here with Little Sleepies, it actually makes diapering and changing and all of the things so much more seamless, especially because Little Sleepies was created by real moms who understand the realities of daily life with kids. These are pieces that are super soft, comfortable fabrics that actually hold up, and they fit up to three times longer than other brands. Keep that in mind because they do thoughtful details that make every day dressing and diaper changing a breeze. Little Sleepies releases new custom design prints weekly, and Little Sleepies is always dropping new styles for both bedtime and playtime, so your kids can stay comfortable and stylish 24-7. And Little Sleepies offers licensed prints with brands like Disney, Marvel, and so much more, so we absolutely love that. And if you guys are expecting or dressing little ones, check out Little Sleepies. You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code PODSPRING26 for 15% off full-price products. That's P-O-D-S-P-R-I-N-G and number 26 for 15% off full-price products.

Speaker 4:
[15:42] Mom, can you tell me a story?

Speaker 5:
[15:44] Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car. Was she brave? She was tired, mostly, but she went to carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required.

Speaker 6:
[15:54] Did she have to fight a dragon?

Speaker 5:
[15:56] Nope, she bought it 100% online, from her bed, actually.

Speaker 7:
[15:59] Was it scary?

Speaker 5:
[16:00] Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

Speaker 6:
[16:03] Did the car have a sunroof?

Speaker 5:
[16:04] It did, actually.

Speaker 7:
[16:05] Okay, good story.

Speaker 5:
[16:06] Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.

Speaker 2:
[16:13] Okay, a hill that I will die on, and this has been a current revelation, is that a man who's financially stable can love you just as much as one that's not. And I used to say that one more time, a man that is financially stable can love you just as much as one who's not.

Speaker 1:
[16:31] Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2:
[16:33] But I used to think, and maybe this was like post-

Speaker 1:
[16:38] Toxic, Lindsie.

Speaker 2:
[16:39] Yeah. And also it was post-divorce of the only person that's going to love me is someone that's going to-

Speaker 1:
[16:48] Financially provide?

Speaker 2:
[16:50] No. Somebody who can love me is maybe going to love me for what I can bring to the table. And so maybe they have less than or perceive that they have less than what I have. So I was scraping the bottom of the barrel, finding somebody who couldn't bring something to the table.

Speaker 1:
[17:11] Hold on. So am I tracking correctly when I say, okay, so if you are in the dating pool, you thought that dating someone who couldn't take care of you financially would look to you to take care of them financially.

Speaker 2:
[17:28] But like maybe they could provide more, because like finances might not have been their thing. Maybe they could provide more like emotional stability because they would have more time to be able to do that. And you think now that I've done it? Yeah. I definitely think that somebody that could provide financial stability or join in providing financial stability can also give me the time and the emotional bandwidth that I'm looking for.

Speaker 1:
[18:00] Wait. So you're saying that someone that can provide financially and can't, they can love you the same?

Speaker 2:
[18:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[18:07] You're saying they can.

Speaker 2:
[18:08] They can. But I don't want it anymore. I don't want the one that can't. I'm not saying I need anything.

Speaker 1:
[18:13] No, no, no. Of course, of course, of course. I didn't take it that way.

Speaker 2:
[18:15] What I found.

Speaker 1:
[18:16] I'm just like really trying to pick my own brain about that specifically. I've I've never been with someone who could provide for me financially.

Speaker 2:
[18:24] What I found through experience and through experimenting. Is that and maybe it can work for other people. I'm just saying for me, I have had multiple situations that once they realize that I financially can do for myself, then it's somewhat of an expectation that I'm going to financially do for all. And it makes me feel like, okay, you're only in this for that, which I thought I was more in it for, okay, because they can't bring something financially to the table, they can emotionally help. But I realized that because they weren't financially bringing anything to the table and then taking from me that it all almost was emotionally breaking me down. Because I was like, oh, is that all I'm worth? Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:
[19:25] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:26] I built resentment in two relationships post-divorce. And it's like, I was looking at that person and it's like, yes, I have fun with them and we get to go on these trips and we get to do this stuff. And they're always there. But then I'm building resentment on the back end because it's like, okay, well, we're only doing these things because I'm providing to do these things. And would we be doing this stuff and having this much fun if I didn't do it. But moving on from that, we are going to go a little more lighthearted on how well do Kail and I actually know each other. When is my birthday?

Speaker 1:
[20:06] September 17th, 1989.

Speaker 2:
[20:10] March 14th, 1992.

Speaker 1:
[20:12] Yeah. Solid. Yes, you questioned it.

Speaker 2:
[20:18] She's like, wait a minute.

Speaker 1:
[20:20] If I ordered a pizza, what toppings would I put on it? And would I be able to finish it on my own?

Speaker 2:
[20:27] A pizza, what toppings would you put on it? Trying to think the last time that we ordered pizza together would have been at the Webby's.

Speaker 1:
[20:36] Yeah, last year.

Speaker 2:
[20:39] Maybe pepperoni?

Speaker 1:
[20:40] Yeah, I'm not super picky about my pizza toppings. I'll do just cheese. I'll do meat lovers. I'll do pepperoni. I'll do pineapple and whatever.

Speaker 2:
[20:50] See, that's a hill that I will die on. Pineapple does not belong on pizza.

Speaker 1:
[20:56] It's like a sweet and savory.

Speaker 2:
[20:58] I know, but you have to like sweet and savory and I don't.

Speaker 1:
[21:01] I love all.

Speaker 2:
[21:03] I mean, I like sweet and savory, but not together.

Speaker 1:
[21:06] I'm a big sweet and savory together.

Speaker 2:
[21:08] Together.

Speaker 1:
[21:08] Yeah. If you were to order a pizza, I would say, yeah, like maybe pepperoni. Pepperoni pizza.

Speaker 2:
[21:14] Yeah. Or just like plain cheese, but I don't really like anything like extravagant.

Speaker 1:
[21:19] Me neither. I'm not like a huge like, I'm not going to do like a, what is it like the everything supreme? If there's a supreme, I'll eat it, but it's not something that I'm going to order on purpose. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2:
[21:29] The next part of the question is, would I be able to finish it on my own?

Speaker 1:
[21:33] Three years ago? Yes, I would.

Speaker 2:
[21:35] You?

Speaker 1:
[21:36] No.

Speaker 2:
[21:37] I can eat a large, and I can have proof of this, I can eat a large Domino's thin crust pepperoni pizza by myself.

Speaker 1:
[21:50] I think I could eat a Domino's pizza by myself, but like a pizzeria style pizza?

Speaker 2:
[21:54] Oh yeah, no, no.

Speaker 1:
[21:55] I also, for some reason, I don't know if it's the Adderall or whatever. I don't really finish anything at this point. I'm also a picker, so I want to go to a restaurant and order five things and pick a little bit of everything.

Speaker 2:
[22:06] See, that drives me nuts.

Speaker 1:
[22:08] I love it. It's hard because financially it's not great, but that's what I do.

Speaker 2:
[22:14] Do you have a rule when you go out to eat with your kids?

Speaker 1:
[22:18] We don't go out to eat.

Speaker 2:
[22:20] Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:
[22:20] Fast food only.

Speaker 2:
[22:22] Oh, fast food only.

Speaker 1:
[22:23] I mean, the older two I'll bring out to eat. Like we went to Olive Garden before spring break so that Elliot and Lincoln could hang out before spring break, but I don't take Lux and Creed very hit or miss on restaurants. I have never taken the babies to a restaurant.

Speaker 2:
[22:38] Still haven't taken them. Okay, so I have a rule with Jackson that on the weekends, if we go out to a restaurant to eat, then you can get your meal and a dessert. We're not doing that like through the weekdays. And then for vacation, you can order an appetizer, your entree and a dessert. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[22:59] I like that.

Speaker 2:
[23:00] But like we're not doing that every single meal all the time. I feel like it sets unrealistic expectations.

Speaker 1:
[23:06] I would agree.

Speaker 2:
[23:07] What school subject was I best at?

Speaker 1:
[23:10] You were best at, what are this? Math, science, English and social studies. I feel like math is not one.

Speaker 2:
[23:22] Bitch, can you say I can't add?

Speaker 1:
[23:24] I was not good at math. Were you good at math?

Speaker 2:
[23:27] No.

Speaker 1:
[23:29] I just said math is not it and she got offended. I feel like you could write, so I'm going to say English.

Speaker 2:
[23:37] Language arts, for sure.

Speaker 1:
[23:39] Okay. I could see that because for those of you who don't know, there have been times in the past where I have sent things to Lindsie to help me fine tune a little bit because she's very quick witted and when she has a minute to actually look at something and type it out, I mean, you're very good with your words, especially in writing.

Speaker 2:
[24:02] Don't try to get a skating email for me because I am not the one.

Speaker 1:
[24:05] Oh, if you want to be read for filth, Lindsie Chrisley will do it and she will do it in the most professional and English professor type of way. Oh, it's good.

Speaker 2:
[24:15] With all due respect, regards Lindsie Chrisley. I'm going to say that Kail was probably best at social studies.

Speaker 1:
[24:30] I'm going to be honest, I struggled in school a lot.

Speaker 2:
[24:33] I was going to say my best subject was PE.

Speaker 1:
[24:36] Okay. But I don't know about you, but when you look back at schooling, school was not hard for me. I just didn't have the focus and the dedication to- I would take notes so well and then never study them, never look at them at home, and then I would fail the tests. I was present, but I would not absorb information just from the lecture. I'm talking about high school and also college. I would have to actually study the material and it takes me a long time once I have it. Today, if I was to go back to school, I would be fine. But at that time, I was undiagnosed, unmedicated, and I was not getting shit done. I think I graduated high school with a 2.5.

Speaker 2:
[25:14] Oh, so did I. I think mine was less, maybe a 2.2.

Speaker 1:
[25:19] Mine was, I wasn't probably getting into a D3 school.

Speaker 2:
[25:21] Attendance was horrible.

Speaker 1:
[25:23] It was bad.

Speaker 2:
[25:24] Oh, no. Mine also was very bad.

Speaker 1:
[25:27] But then I made Dean's List in college because I had a different folk. I don't know if it was just the- I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[25:33] Are we sisters?

Speaker 1:
[25:34] Yeah. Todd, are you my dad?

Speaker 2:
[25:39] No. High school, I feel like was really hard for me. Elementary school, I think it's just because we moved around a lot. I'm going to contribute to some of that. Now, listen, anything that was from memory, so remember like times tables test? Yes. I could do those and speed through those. But I also think back in the 90s, you know how we had to- and they don't do this in school anymore, but it's like you had to write out sentences for memory. Did y'all do that?

Speaker 1:
[26:11] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[26:12] Where it's like you have to write such and such like five times. Did y'all do that? Yeah. And so I feel like that helped me memorize. Like the repetition helped. They don't do that anymore in school. And I'm like, well, what are y'all doing and how are you learning? And is that why all of our kids are medicated?

Speaker 1:
[26:33] Okay, random. But I've been in this phase of my life where I want to look like I have it all together, even if I absolutely do not. And you guys know that, but let's be honest, the routine sometimes takes longer than five minutes. And if it does, it's not happening. That's why Merit Beauty believes great makeup should be effortless. And I recently started using, I probably started using Merit last year. They have clean, thoughtfully curated essentials to help you get a fresh polished look in minutes. With products, you can actually swipe on, blend with your fingers and move on with your day. That is so easy for me. This week, I have a crazy week. I'm in Philly and New York all in one week. And this is what I'm thriving on is Merit. It's going to be amazing. I cannot wait. Merit is a minimalist beauty brand that makes elevated makeup and skincare design to help you look put together in minutes, which you guys know I have seven kids. Sometimes I can't do it all. Merit's bestsellers are proof that less really is more. I just started using their Flush Bomb. It gives you that natural healthy glow without overdoing it. One was sold every 30 seconds in 2024. That's how good it is. So we should do that again for them in 2026. And then there's the minimalist, which works double duty on both a foundation and a concealer so you can get quick coverage without layering on a bunch of products. But the best part of all is that Merit's products are clean, vegan, cruelty-free and made with nourishing skincare ingredients that leave your skin looking better long after taking your makeup off, which makes a huge difference. Like I want to be just as confident without makeup as I am with makeup. Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with their first order at meritbeauty.com. That's M-E-R-I-T beauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order meritbeauty.com.

Speaker 6:
[28:11] This episode is brought to you by booking.com. booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US. So you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's literally something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light, rise early mom, or your high maintenance group chat. You can find exactly what you're booking for. For me, when I'm booking a stay, I already know I need a few very specific things. I'm talking blackout curtains because I hate waking up to sunlight, a comfy bed that actually feels like a hotel bed, and enough space so I don't feel cramped after a long day. And if I'm booking with my girlfriends, it's a whole different checklist. We're looking for a place with room to spread out, somewhere close to restaurants and the latest nightclubs, and honestly, just a stay that fits everyone's vibe without compromise. That's why I love that if I can find my perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. Find exactly what you're booking for, booking.com, booking.yeah. Book today on the site or in the app.

Speaker 4:
[29:12] At Great Wolf Lodge, there's adventure for the whole family. You and your pack can splash away in the indoor waterpark where it's always 84 degrees. There's a massive wave pool, a lazy river, and tons of water slides for your pack to enjoy together. And the fun doesn't stop there. Get ready to explore and play at Adventure Packed Attractions from MagiQuest, a live action game that takes place throughout the lodge to the Northern Lights Arcade. There's also a bunch of great dining options and complimentary daily events like nightly dance parties all under one roof. And the best part, with 22 lodges across the country, you're always only a short drive away from adventure. So bring your pack together at a lodge near you. Book your stay today at greatwolf.com and strengthen the pack.

Speaker 1:
[30:00] All I know is I had enough wits about me in school that I needed to seize good degrees. Like that's what I was striving for. When I look back on my high school career, I wish I would have tried harder.

Speaker 2:
[30:13] Career is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[30:15] What is it?

Speaker 2:
[30:16] To say career, my high school career.

Speaker 1:
[30:19] My high school career, it's four years of my life. But I remember going to a different Kristen, not the Kristen that you guys know, but my friend Kristen from high school. She was just naturally smart. She could listen to what the teacher was saying in class and then do the questions at the end of the chapter and then do whatever.

Speaker 2:
[30:36] Oh no, see, that was not me.

Speaker 1:
[30:37] That was not me. I would have to do it over and over and over again. I remember the last little bit of ninth grade. This was around the time where my mom had gotten out of school and I didn't know about it. I was just floating around people's houses after school to just go to school and then finish the year out where I was, until I got kicked out, of course. But at the end of the year, I had a D or an F in science and I needed to get it to a C because I was going to then transfer schools. Well, I didn't know that at the time, but I'm like, I just need to get a C. That's all I could strive for. I remember her helping me study for one class to bring like a test score up so that I would end it with like either I had an F and I needed a D or I had a D and I needed a C. But like now I look back and I'm like, if I just listen to the teacher one time, I would know.

Speaker 8:
[31:25] Did you just hear what you said? When I was in ninth grade and my mom left me and I didn't know that she was out of rehab, I was staying at people's house. You can't learn and your brain cannot function when you're being neglected like that. You have so much else to think about and worry about that your brain cannot go to school and learn.

Speaker 1:
[31:43] Oh, well, now that you say it like that, that makes sense to me because I think back because I'm really not dumb. I'm not a naturally smart person, but if you give me some stuff, I can figure it out. You know what I mean?

Speaker 8:
[31:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[31:57] But then I couldn't.

Speaker 2:
[31:59] I can tell you I never really struggled. In elementary school and middle school, I never really struggled with my mom being absent. I started noticing it when I was in high school. When I started my period in those years.

Speaker 1:
[32:14] You started your period in high school?

Speaker 2:
[32:15] I started my period the summer going into ninth grade. Yeah. Why? You were way earlier?

Speaker 1:
[32:22] I started my period the summer going into seventh grade.

Speaker 2:
[32:25] Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:
[32:26] The last day of school of sixth grade, I started my period.

Speaker 2:
[32:29] Yeah. I started my period very late. I remember we went to my mom's for a weekend and I actually started my period while I was with my mom and I was so grateful because I'm like if not that my dad wasn't capable of being able to handle that. I think it was just a situation of like, how do I tell my dad I'm bleeding from my vagina and he's going to tell me I cannot use a tampon.

Speaker 1:
[32:53] Why would he say you can't use a tampon?

Speaker 2:
[32:55] Oh, girl. That's a long slippery slope. Like you're going to lose your virginity if you use a tampon.

Speaker 1:
[33:00] Wait. So I'm very open about, you know already, I'm open about my period to even my voice, especially because I'm a heavy bleeder and if I go out in public and I'm bleeding, I would want them to one know what to look for, what it is and how to help. So not too long ago, it was probably like a month ago. So Rio has transitioned from his crib to his toddler bed. I don't know the timeline on that, but he transitioned before this happened. I say that to say, I have to lay with him at night now because he's in an open bed. It's not a crib and he wasn't going to sleep and I said, Rio, I have to go take a shower. I'm bleeding and I had blood through my clothes and I could tell. Okay, Mommy, next time I go to lay with him, he was worried about me needing to leave to go shower. He looked at me and he said, are you bleeding at your butt?

Speaker 2:
[33:50] He's three. I love that about your parenting and it's a mark that I think I missed that I wish I could go back. Like if I could say something to go back in my parenting journey to maybe have a conversation about that, it would be periods and being open and honest about those conversations because it's always been something that I hid. But then I take it all the way back to-

Speaker 1:
[34:15] Your own childhood.

Speaker 2:
[34:16] My own childhood. And so I just didn't know what the level of appropriateness was for that. Okay. Next question. What is my all time favorite movie?

Speaker 1:
[34:32] Oh, fuck. Your favorite movie, it's- I have it on the tip of my tongue. It's with a guy and the guy's name is- give me a hint. Give me the name. It's a guy and you said he was so hot and I didn't think he was hot.

Speaker 2:
[34:49] Vince Vaughn? Owen Wilson?

Speaker 1:
[34:52] You think Owen Wilson is hot?

Speaker 2:
[34:53] No, but his personality is.

Speaker 1:
[34:55] No, it's a movie and you said that you loved it and you thought the main character was so hot. It was like this like older white guy and you were like in his youth.

Speaker 2:
[35:04] Oh, Hugh Grant?

Speaker 1:
[35:05] What movie was he in?

Speaker 2:
[35:07] No, who who's the lead of Pretty Woman? Richard Gere.

Speaker 1:
[35:11] Who does he play? He plays in Pretty Woman. So then it's Pretty Woman. Or what is it?

Speaker 2:
[35:16] I do not have an all time favorite movie. It was a trick question.

Speaker 1:
[35:20] Oh, fuck. But I know you like Richard Gere.

Speaker 2:
[35:22] I love Richard Gere. Like if he was and I know this is going to sound gross. Let's give me a little bit of grace. I would sleep with Hugh Grant right now.

Speaker 1:
[35:33] Let me Google him because I don't know what he looks like.

Speaker 2:
[35:35] Hugh Grant or Richard Gere, like absolute hall passes.

Speaker 8:
[35:39] That's true fatherless behavior.

Speaker 2:
[35:41] That is fatherless behavior.

Speaker 1:
[35:44] Hugh Grant, didn't he play in Hannibal Lecter?

Speaker 2:
[35:48] Well, I mean, I don't think I want him as Hannibal Lecter.

Speaker 1:
[35:51] Wait, did he? I might be making that up. Liver spots and all. You're going to have sex with this man. Not the liver spots.

Speaker 2:
[35:58] What's liver spots?

Speaker 8:
[36:00] It's just the first picture I saw.

Speaker 2:
[36:01] What's liver spots? And why are you going to the first photo? I'm talking 90s Hugh Grant. Get the fuck out of here. If right now at my age from the era that I liked Hugh Grant in.

Speaker 1:
[36:15] Okay, I was confusing.

Speaker 2:
[36:17] Okay, 1990s Hugh Grant.

Speaker 1:
[36:20] No, Richard Gere was never hot.

Speaker 2:
[36:22] Yes, he was. Yes, he was.

Speaker 8:
[36:23] Is that mustache?

Speaker 2:
[36:25] Can I ask you for a mustache ride?

Speaker 1:
[36:27] Oh, okay. I could see this. I could see him in his younger years being a fine young man.

Speaker 2:
[36:33] A fine young man.

Speaker 1:
[36:34] Who did I think was?

Speaker 2:
[36:36] But an old man, you know, like at the time when, like if I'm 36 right now and I could transport back to the 90s as a 36 year old person, absolutely all day long.

Speaker 1:
[36:50] Yeah, I definitely confused Hugh Grant with whoever is in Hannibal Lecter.

Speaker 2:
[36:55] I love that. Okay, so top favorite movies for me of all time. Pretty Woman.

Speaker 1:
[37:01] Period.

Speaker 2:
[37:02] Missed Out Fire and The Breakup.

Speaker 1:
[37:04] I don't think I've seen The Breakup. What's that one?

Speaker 2:
[37:06] It's with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.

Speaker 1:
[37:09] Oh yeah, I have seen that one. I do like that one.

Speaker 2:
[37:10] Yeah, it's a goodie.

Speaker 1:
[37:12] Mine would be 10 Things I Hate About You.

Speaker 2:
[37:14] That's really surprising.

Speaker 1:
[37:16] Yeah, and then I'm going after that probably Cinderella.

Speaker 2:
[37:22] Like Cinderella as in like...

Speaker 1:
[37:24] The cartoon, the original.

Speaker 2:
[37:26] Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:
[37:27] And then I'm going Coach Carter.

Speaker 2:
[37:29] Coach Carter?

Speaker 1:
[37:30] Or 12 Years of Slaves.

Speaker 2:
[37:32] I'm really surprised that you didn't say the Eminem movie.

Speaker 1:
[37:37] Oh my God, 8 Mile. No, let me take this back. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Speaker 2:
[37:40] That was the one I was going to answer, 8 Mile.

Speaker 1:
[37:42] Hold up. Top two, 10 Things I Hate About You and 8 Mile, then Cinderella, and then Coach Carter.

Speaker 2:
[37:51] Love that for you.

Speaker 1:
[37:51] And 12 Years of Slaves.

Speaker 2:
[37:53] Okay, we're gonna play a new game. We're gonna mix this up. Okay. We are going to play, this is the instructions of the game. Each player has to write on their whiteboard who they think that the answer aligns with most, and the question has to start with who is. So the first one is, who is the better cook?

Speaker 1:
[38:15] Lindsie is the better cook, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[38:17] Okay, I will say that Kail probably makes one mean recipe that I don't even know what it is, but it's like cream cheese spaghetti. And I feel like it's the only meal that Kail knows how to make.

Speaker 1:
[38:33] I do bacon chicken ranch, bacon, chicken bacon alfredo. I could also do good chicken cutlets.

Speaker 2:
[38:41] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[38:42] And I'm working on the mac and cheese recipe. I did teeny from TikTok's recipe again over the weekend. And this one, I did, I followed it exactly. Before I kind of like was mostly following it. This time I followed it exactly with the Gouda cheese and the paprika. I learned very quickly with that recipe after making an entire pan of it that I am not a smoked girly. I do not like the flavor of smoked. I do not like smoked mac and cheese. I do not want it to taste like it belongs with the barbecue chicken. I am not a fan.

Speaker 2:
[39:14] Oh, I love that. Okay, I am really good at following a recipe to a tea. What I'm not good at is making up recipes like as I go. And I think that is the definition of an actual good cook, somebody that can cook something from not a recipe.

Speaker 1:
[39:30] I agree. And I'm not that girl.

Speaker 2:
[39:33] Okay, next one. Who is tidier?

Speaker 1:
[39:37] Lindsie. Lindsie said me.

Speaker 2:
[39:41] I said Kail.

Speaker 1:
[39:42] Like tidier where?

Speaker 2:
[39:43] I just feel like, okay, I definitely give off like a type A personality, but at any given time, you could go into my laundry room and there's shit everywhere. At any given time, you could go into my bedroom and not organized. My closet, clothes thrown everywhere. I think the average person that listens to this podcast would think that all of my stuff would just be like pristine. And I like it like that, but I am not tidy like that.

Speaker 1:
[40:12] I wish that I was more tidy than I am. I am an aspiring type A.

Speaker 2:
[40:17] Yeah, but aspiring doesn't get us there. Oh, type C. Is that the combination of A and B? Oh yeah, that's definitely what we all are. All right, y'all, let's take a quick second to talk about Chime. I love Chime so much and Chime is changing the way that people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee-free banking. This is fee-free, this is fee-free banking built for you and they are not like traditional old banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. They have thousands of fee-free ATMs and why should we be paying to get our own money? It is built for you, not the 1%. Chime members can benefit from up to $1,150 and annual rewards fee-free. Direct deposits unlock the most rewarding way we bank at Chime and Chime is rated 5 stars by USA Today for customer service. So real humans 24-7, you're not just switching banks, you're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a Chime checking account. Get 5% cash back on Chime Card in a category of choice like gas, groceries, you get savings that grows faster with a 3.75% APY, so that's 9% higher than the national average. And plus, you get premium travel perks like airport lounge access and 24-7 travel cost years included with your Chime Card. You can even get up to $500 of your pay when you say with my pay. They also have Spot Me, which lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. My younger self would have totally benefited from this when I was in college and starting my adult life. Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com/coffee. Head to chime.com/coffee. That's chime.com/coffee. It only takes a few minutes to sign up.

Speaker 9:
[42:11] Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank, banking services, a secure Chime Visa credit card and my pay line of credit provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. My pay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com/feesinfo. Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime Plus status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.

Speaker 2:
[42:33] Life can feel like a big puzzle. You're constantly trying to fit all of the pieces together, like your career, your passions, your relationships, your finances, and of course, your healthcare. And Kail and I can very much relate to all of these aspects. And it can feel like a lot, but finding care should not be the trickiest piece to fit. But finding care should not be the trickiest piece to fit into everything else that is going on. And Zocdoc makes it easy to find and book an appointment with a doctor that you will love. I have used Zocdoc many times, and if you have never heard of Zocdoc, Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in-network doctors so that you can find someone that you love. So we're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across 50 states. Whether you're looking for a dermatologist, a dentist, primary care, eye care or any of the other 200 plus specialties offered on Zocdoc, you can easily search by specialty or symptoms to build a care team that is right for you. If you want to see your doctor in person, that's great. Or if you prefer a video visit, you can do that too. I've actually done both using Zocdoc with thousands of verified patient reviews to give you a real sense of who your doctor is. Maybe they hate small talk just as much as you do, or root for your sports team. Whatever it is, you can feel confident that you can book with a doctor that you know that you will love. And when you're ready, you can see their real time availability and click to book instantly. So no phone tag, no waiting around, because that is the absolute worst. Appointments made through Zocdoc happen so fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. Zocdoc is so great. So this is your sign to stop putting off those doctor's appointments. And go to zocdoc.com/convos to find and instantly book a doctor that you love today. That's zocdoc.com/convos, zocdoc.com/convos. Thank you, Zocdoc, for sponsoring this message. OK, next one. Who is more forgetful? Oh, Kail says me and her. And I've said Kail.

Speaker 1:
[44:50] I would agree that it's Kail.

Speaker 2:
[44:51] We've thought that Kail's had like Alzheimer's for years.

Speaker 1:
[44:54] Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[44:56] OK, who is more likely to get lost? Definitely, I am more likely to get lost. Alistra, Alessandra is shaking her head. Yes, I couldn't.

Speaker 8:
[45:10] In Ohio, you got lost in the mall.

Speaker 1:
[45:12] The mall?

Speaker 2:
[45:13] Listen.

Speaker 1:
[45:13] First of all, when did you go to the mall? You went to the mall in Ohio?

Speaker 2:
[45:19] I just get lost everywhere.

Speaker 1:
[45:20] We were together.

Speaker 2:
[45:21] I know, but like we weren't.

Speaker 1:
[45:24] Why did you go to the mall on the way to the venue?

Speaker 2:
[45:26] I don't know. I don't know. But I can get lost anywhere. I don't think I was.

Speaker 1:
[45:31] What the were you there for?

Speaker 2:
[45:33] I was just, I was lost. I could get lost in.

Speaker 1:
[45:36] What's the saying? Not all who, not all who wanders.

Speaker 2:
[45:43] Wait, what's the saying? Not all who are lost.

Speaker 10:
[45:46] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[45:47] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[45:47] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[45:48] Not all who wander are lost.

Speaker 2:
[45:50] That is me. But I am so bad at geography. Is that what it is? And also like forgetting where I'm at and like what I'm doing. So I could be at Target, for example, and I'll be going down the aisles and I'll be doing really good for a minute and then I black out and it's like, what am I here for?

Speaker 1:
[46:10] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:10] And like, why am I at Target?

Speaker 1:
[46:12] Okay. Sounds, sounds like me.

Speaker 2:
[46:14] You know?

Speaker 1:
[46:15] Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[46:16] So maybe that is also forgetful.

Speaker 1:
[46:18] Or Alzheimer's, either one.

Speaker 2:
[46:19] Or that. But why was I at a mall in Ohio on tour and I was not buying anything? I was just lost.

Speaker 1:
[46:25] Okay. Okay. Not all who wander are lost.

Speaker 2:
[46:30] Who is the better kisser? How would we determine this?

Speaker 1:
[46:35] Make out and scissor. Becky and I did it. So I guess it's we all did that.

Speaker 6:
[46:40] We all made out.

Speaker 1:
[46:41] We did make out.

Speaker 2:
[46:42] On the podcast?

Speaker 1:
[46:45] No, no.

Speaker 2:
[46:47] I'm like what happened last week? Oh, at Pride? This year?

Speaker 1:
[46:50] No, it was 2016.

Speaker 2:
[46:56] 2016? Did Becky think that you were a good kisser?

Speaker 1:
[46:59] Probably not.

Speaker 2:
[47:00] Did you ask her?

Speaker 1:
[47:01] No, because I don't want to hurt my own feelings.

Speaker 2:
[47:03] Can I ask her? I'm calling Becky.

Speaker 1:
[47:05] I hope she says she doesn't remember because I'll be really embarrassed.

Speaker 2:
[47:09] I feel like that would definitely be something that Becky would remember. You know? Hey, Becky. Hey. I have a question for you. Kail and I are playing a game at Who's Better at Stuff. And we got to the one who is the better kisser. And you and Kail kissed in 2016. Is this correct?

Speaker 7:
[47:33] That's correct.

Speaker 2:
[47:34] What do you have to say about Kail's experience with kissing? Like, is she really good at it? Is she, like, mediocre? You're also on air, so.

Speaker 7:
[47:46] You know, I don't know if there is a world that any answer that I give to this is going to be a good answer, because I, quite honestly, don't remember.

Speaker 1:
[47:59] Thank God.

Speaker 7:
[48:02] The quality of that. But it was also, like, not very intentional or not, but it was like, it was like, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[48:12] Like, why were you all doing that?

Speaker 7:
[48:13] I don't think that I'm subject to give my, like, she's probably a great kisser, but I'm not the one to make that judgment, you know?

Speaker 1:
[48:22] Thank you. I really appreciate that.

Speaker 2:
[48:24] Was it a pet kiss or was it, like, tongue?

Speaker 7:
[48:27] I don't even remember.

Speaker 1:
[48:29] Becky, we made out with tongue.

Speaker 2:
[48:31] It was all, it was evidently made way more impactful to Kail's life than it was to yours. She's like, it was tongue.

Speaker 7:
[48:39] But it wasn't like some, it was like quit, it wasn't even like, yeah, you know?

Speaker 2:
[48:46] It was like a quick one and done.

Speaker 1:
[48:48] So the answer to this question is actually Becky, not Lindsie or Kail.

Speaker 7:
[48:53] I think we need to pick a neutral target, and then the three of us get to make out with them, and then they get to choose who the best maker outer is.

Speaker 1:
[49:00] But you're not in the equation because you would be the winner, so you can't be in the equation.

Speaker 2:
[49:06] But who's the target?

Speaker 1:
[49:07] We have to find somebody that we're both mutually attracted to.

Speaker 2:
[49:11] Okay, love you.

Speaker 7:
[49:12] Love you, bye.

Speaker 2:
[49:13] Be good, bye.

Speaker 1:
[49:14] Be good.

Speaker 2:
[49:14] Okay, next one, more likely to snooze their alarm. Both of us. Kail said herself, I said me.

Speaker 1:
[49:26] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[49:26] Okay, I have to set multiple alarms, so like five minutes apart, and it's not like the snooze feature. So like one snooze might be going off, and then the next one's set for like six minutes later, so that's like a minute later, that one will start going off, and then I'll eventually get up like the fourth time. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[49:46] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[49:48] Love that. More adventurous. Kail.

Speaker 1:
[49:53] Definitely me, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[49:56] Next one. More honest. I don't know if that's a fair question, because honest is not.

Speaker 1:
[50:04] The way that I'm taking that, because I don't think that either of us are liars.

Speaker 2:
[50:08] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[50:08] And if I have ever, you're hearing it here first, because I did see a TikTok recently that was like, I think I caught Kail in a lie.

Speaker 2:
[50:14] Oh, I saw that one.

Speaker 1:
[50:15] It was literally about drinking, and then I conceived Rio, and it's like, if I've ever lied, it was never intentional. It was just that I forgot. And I will always, if I then remember, or someone reminds me, I will always go back and be like, oh, I'm so sorry, like I completely forgot, and then I remembered. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not intentionally lying. So I feel like honest, for me, when you read that is more like direct. Like if you ask somebody-

Speaker 2:
[50:38] I think that's the better question.

Speaker 1:
[50:39] More direct. Like it's like, okay, how does this outfit look? Look, who's going to be more honest about it, where I might be a little bit of a people pleaser versus like-

Speaker 2:
[50:48] I'm trying to like fake like I'm writing.

Speaker 1:
[50:50] Because you're like me.

Speaker 2:
[50:53] Me. I feel like I am a very direct-

Speaker 1:
[50:58] And I said that earlier. I literally said like you're, like it surprises me that the one you were talking about missing flights.

Speaker 2:
[51:04] Well, it's also like, for example, if Kail got a text from someone and it just like pissed her off, she might do one of two things. She might not respond to it immediately or ever. Or she might be like, oh, like I didn't know that you felt that way. Like I totally like, that's not what I meant by blah, blah, blah. And me, my response is two words, fuck you.

Speaker 1:
[51:35] Yes, that is correct.

Speaker 2:
[51:37] Like that's the end of the sentence. Put a period on it.

Speaker 1:
[51:40] Someone did a TikTok about something and I, Taylor sent it to me and I typed out a whole DM to him. But then I was like, this would not be best if I sent this. So I typed it all out and then I deleted it. So like, I'm trying to avoid making those mistakes cause I will regret.

Speaker 2:
[51:57] I do feel like it is a learned behavior to govern yourself and not be responsive, right? Because I do think the natural impulse is to respond and give somewhat of an immediate answer. But everything does not need an immediate answer. And I'm saying that as an impulsive person, I will just tell you, fuck you and mean it.

Speaker 1:
[52:20] And then I will say, fuck you and not mean it.

Speaker 2:
[52:23] I know. And I will ride that forever. Like I've done it to Will before and he's like, I'm not talking to you until you apologize. And it's like, well, then you're never talking to me again. Because I meant what I said. Sorry is not coming because I thought about what I said before I said it. Therefore, I would be lying if I'm apologizing for something that I'm not fucking sorry for.

Speaker 1:
[52:47] I love that for you.

Speaker 2:
[52:48] Okay. Who is more emotional? We both said Kail.

Speaker 1:
[52:55] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[52:55] But I think that people, the average person that has like watched us over the years together, if people were debating between Kail and I, I think they would say I was the more emotional one. It kind of goes with like my aesthetic. I don't feel like I'm really that emotional. Like it takes me a lot. Like I could go through like a full blown breakup, divorce, indictment.

Speaker 1:
[53:21] Speaking from experience, Lindsie, or I mean-

Speaker 2:
[53:23] And never cry.

Speaker 1:
[53:25] Truly. Where I'm crying every fucking day.

Speaker 2:
[53:27] Every day. But what is worse?

Speaker 1:
[53:31] I took Elliot-

Speaker 2:
[53:32] I think I'm worse. Cause I think crying is so healthy.

Speaker 1:
[53:37] Yeah, but not probably to my level. Like I took Elliot and Lincoln to dinner the other night, and we started talking about, Elliot had to read a book about the Holocaust. And so we were on the subject of the Holocaust and telling him about the Nightingale, all the things. I just start crying in the middle of Olive Garden. I'm crying about the Holocaust.

Speaker 2:
[53:54] Don't get started with Anne Frank. I'll start crying. That is one area of life that-

Speaker 1:
[54:00] Lincoln looked at me and he goes, you're about to start crying, aren't you? And then here goes the waterworks. And I'm like, I'm literally in Olive Garden. Can we change the subject?

Speaker 2:
[54:08] It's so crazy that you say that because Jackson, if I cry, he's only seen me cry like a couple of times in life. And if I cry, he might run to the other room, close the door and call his dad and be like, something's very wrong, mom's crying.

Speaker 1:
[54:25] Like it's not like a normal- But if you cry, it's really serious.

Speaker 2:
[54:29] Yeah, like it's really bad.

Speaker 1:
[54:31] I mean, I almost feel like that is better for the kids. And I'm going to tell you why. My kids see me cry so often that they don't know what is, like I'm just a highly emotional person, but that doesn't mean that it's not important. Like certain things are important and they're worth crying over. And I don't want my kids to ever be like, well, mom was dramatic. And then they don't know what weight to put with certain things. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2:
[54:55] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[54:56] So like, I kind of need to rein back my emotional-

Speaker 2:
[55:00] I don't know though, because I've- there's like two sides of that coin. I think for Jackson, for him to like literally run to another room and possibly like text his dad and be like, hey, something's really wrong with mom. She's crying because it's so rare that that happens. Maybe that's not good because I hold so much inside. There's not things that- there are things that happen that make me want to cry.

Speaker 1:
[55:26] But you don't actually cry. Okay, let's talk about Roe Body because everyone is talking about GLP-1s and we all know that they can really help people. But if you're interested in this and your overall health journey, Roe Body could be a perfect fit. They have GLP-1s for anyone on their weight loss journey with 100% online care access to clinically proven, FDA approved medications and free insurance checks. They also have side effect management, dosing support and so much more. And if you just want to try to check it out and see if your insurance covers it, check out Roe Body.

Speaker 2:
[55:59] Roe offers the first FDA approved GLP-1 pill for weight loss at the lowest cost around. The new GLP-1 pill has the same weight loss ingredients as the shot and packs comparable results to the shot. It can help patients lose 14% of their body weight in a year on average. That's one daily pill for fewer cravings and feeling fuller with an innovative new formula. The new FDA approved GLP-1 pill is available at $149 for the first dose. In addition to your Roe membership fee and $299 a month for the higher doses, the Roe body membership fee includes access to FDA approved GLP-1s, unlimited provider messaging, side effect management and more. All for just $45 for your first month and $145 per month thereafter. The Roe membership fee excludes the cost of GLP-1 medication. Go to roe.co. slash coffee convos to see if you're eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Roe. That's ro.co. slash coffee convos to get started on Roe. Go to roe.co. slash safety for box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. Based on a study in non-diabetics with obesity or overweight, plus a weight-related condition with diet and exercise. So I don't know if it would be more emotionally healthy for him to see me cry more often. I mean, he's maybe seen me cry a couple of times in his life, in 13 years, maybe like five times.

Speaker 1:
[57:35] That's so interesting. I will be curious to know if my kids understand like when I'm crying over like little shit. Like I go watch a fucking puppy adoption commercial and cry. Like I wonder if they know like mom's just like really in touch or if she's like, if they're like, no, mom's a crazy person.

Speaker 2:
[57:53] I would say that's more emotionally in tune.

Speaker 1:
[57:56] Rio is three and we talk about like, I cried about Elliot and the Honor Society. And I think it was that or it was something else that was good. And Rio was, mommy, are you crying? They said they're happy tears. So now he, that all it took was at one time. And now he'll be like, are you sad or is it happy tears? So like, he's not sure. So he's like trying to figure it out. Versant Valley don't give a fuck if I'm crying. They do not give one single fuck. Actually.

Speaker 2:
[58:28] Because it happened so often. They're just like, there she goes again.

Speaker 1:
[58:30] Creed has hit or miss. Creed's hit or miss. Lux and Lincoln are so in tune with me crying. They don't even ask why usually. But if they see me crying, they know that it's something. So they'll put their arm on me. They'll hold my hand. They won't ask any questions, but they'll comfort me.

Speaker 2:
[58:51] That's so sweet. Yeah. Because you have so many kids, you have so many different experiences that I don't have. I only have the one to go off of. But I can think of something that I went through most recently, and Jackson, if he's at Will's, he might, on the phone call that he has with me, he'll be like, well, is this something you're going to cry about? It's almost like if I tell him, no, it's not something that I'm going to cry about, he knows it's not that serious. But if he knows that I'm going to cry, then he's like, okay, this is really bad.

Speaker 1:
[59:28] I think honestly, there's pros and cons to both.

Speaker 2:
[59:31] For sure.

Speaker 1:
[59:31] Yeah. I think there's pros and cons to both because I do worry now that we're talking about it. I don't want them to feel like I'm so fucking dramatic. I was always crying. It just really is.

Speaker 2:
[59:39] But see, when I am around Kail, I feel like her emotional state can go from, she's crying and then she snaps out of it and then she's just back to regular even Kail. And then sometimes when she's not on her medicine, that's a different Kail. I feel like I'm pretty even across the board pretty much at all times.

Speaker 1:
[60:05] Yeah. There was a, well, obviously my depression, which obviously that's like a literal mental illness, but there was last year when we were going through the Elijah breakup stuff, it was like, like that was the only focus. There was no other version of Kail. It was just that no meds could have fixed that, I don't think. But like now, before we started recording, I had a little breakdown about something that has nothing to do with work. Then I said that's, I looked at Alessandra and I was like, okay, I'm done crying for the week about that and then try to move on. So it's like, I'm trying to rein it in, just try to compartmentalize, but it's hard.

Speaker 2:
[60:46] But I wonder if people who are more emotionally like you, are where they can just dry the tears and then pick up and move on, the same day, because when I cry, it's like, that is my task for the day. Like you're crying and there's no stopping it, and it's going to keep coming until it's gone, until I literally have no more tears to cry.

Speaker 1:
[61:10] I think like that specifically, and I said this about Elijah, I'll say it about the situation that you guys know that I'm in right now, is like, I don't have a choice. Like I have, because part of me is like, okay, well, maybe I'm mentally ill, because if I can turn my emotions on and off like that, like maybe there's something wrong with me. But on the flip side of it is like, I don't have time because on any given day, I have to dry my tears up and keep it pushing. I don't have a choice because there's always, I had a mental fucking breakdown at soccer last week, and I'm thinking to myself, I need to suck it the fuck up before Lincoln gets back in this car. Like I gotta suck this shit up. And so, because in case the coach comes to talk to me, or another parent stops over to my car, like I'm going to have to suck this the fuck up. And then when I get home, I don't want the rest of the kids asking me why I was crying. So like I kind of just like don't have time. And it's like I have to like let it out because if I don't, something else will, it'll get worse. But then if I do, I have to like give it a time and then keep it moving.

Speaker 2:
[62:14] Well, crying, it's an emotional release, right? I think for some people, somebody like me, I can just turn my emotions completely off like a switch. Like it's, but I think that's a trained brain to be able to do that. And it could be from raising. I'm not really sure what it is. Actually, it's something that I'm working through in therapy because I'm like, I said to my therapist when I went, I said, I do not cry. What is wrong with me? Like it will not come out.

Speaker 8:
[62:46] Do you disassociate, you think?

Speaker 2:
[62:48] I think so. I just sent somebody a text message before this recording, and I said, I'm traumatized, and with this mindset and me out of town, this is not good. Please do not contact me.

Speaker 1:
[63:02] And you don't give a fuck?

Speaker 2:
[63:03] No.

Speaker 1:
[63:03] And you haven't said anything until right now, where I would have been like, I just texted this person.

Speaker 2:
[63:08] Yeah, no. It's like I can just-

Speaker 1:
[63:11] Compartmentalize.

Speaker 2:
[63:11] Compartmentalize almost, but isn't compartmentalizing more like a man?

Speaker 1:
[63:15] Yeah, it's more like a male.

Speaker 2:
[63:17] Yeah. What you hear like in the media or what you read about is like, men are very much known for compartmentalizing and women are known to be way more emotionally charged. I feel like Kail, if we're going off of stereotypes, fits more of like the woman and I am much more like a guy in that way. I've actually been told dating in two different scenarios, you literally operate like a man. It's like, you can't hurt me.

Speaker 1:
[63:49] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[63:49] Don't fucking text me.

Speaker 1:
[63:50] Don't text me.

Speaker 2:
[63:51] Don't call me. Don't see me. Don't drive by my house.

Speaker 1:
[63:54] That's what Rio says when he's mad, don't see me.

Speaker 2:
[63:58] Bless him.

Speaker 1:
[63:58] Don't see me.

Speaker 2:
[63:59] That's so sad.

Speaker 1:
[64:02] Don't see me. It's like, you're right here. I'm being perceived.

Speaker 2:
[64:07] Okay. I need to ask this question now that it's at the tip of my tongue. If you're going through something relationally with somebody, can you just shut it off and be like, don't talk to me. I've got too much to do. Or are you like the hyper fixated, like I need to focus on this right now and I need to fix it.

Speaker 1:
[64:28] I need to fix it right now.

Speaker 2:
[64:29] See, I am not.

Speaker 1:
[64:30] And do not in your whole fucking life say, we need to we need to talk when you get home. If you're not going to tell me and write the fuck now, we can just talk when we get home. You don't need to announce it. Tell me now or I'm going to throw up. Tell me right now or I will throw up on this phone.

Speaker 2:
[64:51] See, I am the exact opposite. It's like if something has happened and there needs to be a conversation, I need about 24 hours to process that. I might possibly be a slow processor, but I need time to process that before I even get to the conversation. By the time that I get to the conversation, you're probably not going to like what comes out of my mouth, but I'm still going to say it. Well, I run through every scenario in my mind in 24 hours of, is this even worth addressing? Then if I deem that it's not worth addressing, I'm not having a conversation about it. Have a conversation with yourself. Why do we get to this point that you feel that we need to have the conversation and I don't feel that we need to have the conversation?

Speaker 1:
[65:32] Yeah. Just tell me right now. If you can't tell me right now, don't tell me we need to talk later.

Speaker 2:
[65:36] You're like, actually, don't tell me at all.

Speaker 1:
[65:38] Like if we need to talk later, just talk to me later.

Speaker 2:
[65:41] But it gives you bubble guts, right? Like it gives you. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[65:44] Why do you need to tell me that? You know, I'm anxiety and it's like on in therapy, we learn like your perception is nobody's business or like your feelings are nobody else's business or like that's a you problem because they told you you need to talk and how your emotions towards that only you can control it. Okay. Well, my boundary though is do not because I can't function. That is something that I can't undo right now. And I won't be able to undo in the foreseeable future. So do not do that to me. And that's my boundary. You can't manage my emotions about it, but you can control whether or not you send that text. And I'm asking you, do not send me a text like that.

Speaker 2:
[66:26] I mean, I think that's fair. I'm not saying that it's not fair. I'm just saying you can handle it better than I can. Like if you sent me a text message when I get home and you're like, hey, we really need to talk about something. I would be like, OK, let me know in the next couple of days when we can talk. And you're like, no, I need to call right now.

Speaker 1:
[66:44] Or like whenever I had to talk to Madison, I was like, hey, like you're not in trouble at all. I just want to run through some things with you. But like you're not in trouble. I just need to go over X, Y and Z. Yeah, that's fine. But like if someone comes to me and is like, hey, Kail, I don't we don't need to talk right this second. But I wanted to talk to you about your refrigerator is not working. OK, cool. Thank you. And see, but if you're like, hey, we have a big problem. We need to talk. And it's literally my refrigerator. I'm shitting my brains out in the fucking Wawa bathroom. Fuck off.

Speaker 2:
[67:15] I mean, I get the perspective like I get it. And I do feel like I used to be a little bit like that. But it is not uncommon for me in a relationship for some shit to happen, argument, disagreement, whatever. And I am the person that's like, I am not talking about it right now. I have this on my schedule today. You are not fucking inconveniencing me. You have pissed me off. And there is going to be no conversation until I have time to process what I need to say.

Speaker 1:
[67:48] Situational. If it's something I did wrong, I need to know right now. If it's something they did wrong, no hold bar. Anything goes at that point because now you're going to wait till I'm ready. But if it's something that I did wrong or I don't know, like a guilty conscience about something, no, now we need to figure it out now.

Speaker 2:
[68:09] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[68:10] Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[68:10] Yeah, I can see that.

Speaker 1:
[68:12] If I text me right now, hey, I need to talk to you when I get home. No, the fuck you don't.

Speaker 2:
[68:15] You need to call me right now.

Speaker 1:
[68:16] You need to call me right now I'm stopping the recording.

Speaker 8:
[68:18] Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[68:21] And me, I'm over here sending a text.

Speaker 1:
[68:23] Do not fucking contact me.

Speaker 2:
[68:24] Do not fucking contact me. Not the time or the place.

Speaker 1:
[68:26] Do not contact me.

Speaker 2:
[68:27] Okay, next one. Who is more likely to cheat on a board game? Did you change your answer? That's cheating. Okay, she put Lux. I put Kail.

Speaker 1:
[68:42] I wouldn't cheat on a board game.

Speaker 2:
[68:43] I feel like Kail would cheat on a board game.

Speaker 1:
[68:46] No, unless it's Becky. That's the only time that I would cheat on a board game is if it's Becky because.

Speaker 2:
[68:51] Because you just hate losing to her so bad.

Speaker 1:
[68:53] Yes. And I don't know what it is. I think it's because I know that I'm going to lose.

Speaker 2:
[68:57] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:57] Because she's so competitive and she's so good at anything like competitive. Yeah. But I don't think like if it was with you, I wouldn't cheat with you. And if it was like my kids or something, I'm not going to cheat. Lux is the cheater in the family on board games.

Speaker 2:
[69:09] Okay. So one time we were playing board game. Jackson's like, oh yeah, we're going to play payday. Well, he was like hiding cards and money in his, in his like draw, like what? Drawstring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like of his stuff. And I kept seeing him walk away and going towards the refrigerator. I thought he was getting water. And when I tell you, nothing pisses me off more than someone trying to cheat on something. Like if I catch you trying to cheat or manipulate or you fucking lie to me one single time, I don't care what it is. If I asked you, Kail, did you touch my neato? And you said, it's right here. But if I said, Kail, did you touch my neato? And I watched you do it. And you say, no, I don't care if you didn't remember. You just lied to me. Like literally do not lie to me. I hate it. I told Jackson, I was like, you are now restricted from family game night. I cannot believe that you would do something like that. That is so horrible. What if someone hears this story way down the line? They're gonna think that you cannot be fair with money. They think that you cannot play fair at life. Your boss, when you grow up, is gonna find out about this and they're not gonna trust you and hire you to do the job. This is terrible. And you have really disappointed your family members.

Speaker 1:
[70:38] What did he say?

Speaker 2:
[70:40] He said, it's not that serious. It's just a board game and I wanted to win. And I said, what you wanted to do was cheat. And I don't have thieves in this house. Do you understand? I said, you get no snacks. You have to go and brush your teeth. You need to get in the bed. There is no TV. Do not play with any toys. Do not open your eyes.

Speaker 1:
[71:09] Just because he cheated on a board game.

Speaker 2:
[71:11] On a board game. I take that stuff so seriously. Because also, what if you were in sports and you lied to a referee, or what if you were playing a game at school and I've allowed you to get by with that at home, and then you do that and embarrass yourself at school? No, I'm going to embarrass you at home so that will live with you for forever. Then I would keep going by his room and I was like, have you thought about what you did?

Speaker 1:
[71:38] Have you thought about the depths of your, what was I going to say, what is it, deception? The depths of your deception?

Speaker 2:
[71:48] Truly treachery.

Speaker 1:
[71:49] No, it is.

Speaker 2:
[71:50] I told him, I went in there, sat down on his bed after I got cooled off and I said, unfortunately son, I think this is going to have to be something that we call your dad about because it's not something that I can keep in this house. Because you could lose a job over this one day.

Speaker 1:
[72:09] What did he say?

Speaker 2:
[72:10] He said, this would be horrible. He was like, please don't call my dad. I'm like, this is not funny.

Speaker 1:
[72:19] But Jackson, I'm laughing.

Speaker 2:
[72:21] But also, but it also is funny.

Speaker 1:
[72:23] You see that United States map right there?

Speaker 2:
[72:26] Yeah, I can't read it.

Speaker 1:
[72:28] Becky and I did them here at the content house, like on a video, but we went home and I made the kids do it and Lincoln was using his Apple watch and I caught him. But I didn't tell him I caught him. Like he doesn't know that I know.

Speaker 2:
[72:40] Oh, sometimes, speaking of cheating and kids using like ChatGPT and stuff, sometimes I will see Jackson doing something for school and I see him taking a picture of his laptop screen and I'm like, I know what you're doing. Do you remember the board game?

Speaker 1:
[72:56] Do you remember the depth of your deception at Family Game Night, Jackson?

Speaker 2:
[73:02] Do you remember? And then the next time that he wanted to play Family Game Night, he was like, let me keep the score. I said, do you remember that day that you cheated at Payday?

Speaker 1:
[73:13] First of all, what the fuck is Payday?

Speaker 2:
[73:15] And I told him some board game and I told him next time it was like a snow day and he wanted to play like this sticky tic tac toe game. And I said, you can get that game out. That's fine. But just know I'm watching.

Speaker 1:
[73:30] I'm watching you go to the fridge to get your water.

Speaker 2:
[73:33] Your water. Water. My snack.

Speaker 1:
[73:37] You will be let go from your job.

Speaker 2:
[73:39] Everyone's going to find out. And then I told him.

Speaker 1:
[73:41] And I'm not lying as a reference.

Speaker 2:
[73:43] This behavior is going to ruin your entire career that you don't have. Your career that you don't have.

Speaker 1:
[73:50] You won't be able to get into college.

Speaker 2:
[73:52] Don't piss me off.

Speaker 1:
[73:53] This is the scandal of Aunt Becky. What's the one from Full House where she gets in? Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
[73:59] College admission scandal.

Speaker 1:
[74:01] That's going to be Jackson.

Speaker 2:
[74:02] 1000%. Wait, okay. So let me tell you. I'm thinking apparently. Let me tell you another parenting thing that I did. And I hope that I found out that he and Will possibly listen to Coffee Convos podcast. So if you guys are listening, shout out to y'all. Hope you're having fun on your cruise. So I have been having a problem with finding like Sprite cans and Coke cans in Jackson's room. And it's like, I know that I've put you to bed with water and the teeth were brushed. You know, like, I'm not that much of a degenerate, right?

Speaker 1:
[74:34] Right.

Speaker 2:
[74:34] You've been put to bed, the fans are on, like the dehumidifier's on, the TV is on with the timer, like everything is in place, including you. Why am I coming in there and I'm finding freeze dried skittles and crumbs all over the bed and soda cans everywhere?

Speaker 1:
[74:52] In the middle of the night?

Speaker 2:
[74:54] Well, I will see it in the morning when I go get him up.

Speaker 1:
[74:55] No, but like that means that he's doing it in the night.

Speaker 2:
[74:57] He was getting up, roaming, yeah. And so, I looked at it one day.

Speaker 1:
[75:02] Is he starving during the day?

Speaker 2:
[75:03] No.

Speaker 1:
[75:04] Like, are you starving him?

Speaker 2:
[75:05] No.

Speaker 1:
[75:05] Well, you told him he couldn't have snacks.

Speaker 2:
[75:08] For game night.

Speaker 1:
[75:09] Yeah, but he might have been hungry.

Speaker 2:
[75:10] That wasn't on game night. This has been a habitual offense, okay? And we don't need soda at, after 10 o'clock at night. I'm sorry, we just don't.

Speaker 1:
[75:21] No, I agree.

Speaker 2:
[75:21] And I also know that you have been fed three squares, you have had snacks.

Speaker 1:
[75:26] Squares.

Speaker 2:
[75:27] You have had snacks and you are very well hydrated. So there is no reason for that in said bedroom.

Speaker 1:
[75:34] Right.

Speaker 2:
[75:35] So I walk in there one morning and I see all this shit laying around. And I'd let it happen a couple of days and I never said anything, but I just let him see my eyes were like tracking towards that way. Like I see it, but like I'm not going to say anything. Well, then on the third day that I went in there, I saw it and I said, where is this from? He said, what? I said, your drinks, your freeze dried skittles, where did that come from? Because the last time I saw it, it was in the pantry. Well, I just felt like I, I said, no, I didn't, you didn't feel like anything.

Speaker 1:
[76:10] What you were doing, you didn't feel like anything.

Speaker 2:
[76:13] You were roaming is what you were doing. You were roaming around this house. So I waited until the next week. He comes back home and he sees that the new alarm systems like plugged up. I tell him that I have cameras everywhere in the house. I don't, I lied.

Speaker 1:
[76:27] Don't let him hear this podcast.

Speaker 2:
[76:29] I'm like, will please shut it off at this point. I told him that I have an alarm system that detects motion for certain hours of the night.

Speaker 1:
[76:40] And no, I'm going to do the same thing when I get home.

Speaker 2:
[76:43] And that when I press those buttons, that we have a certain amount of time that we have to get to our rooms and it will go off.

Speaker 1:
[76:51] It's like those lasers where it's like you have to like go over and under them. It's like that.

Speaker 2:
[76:55] It'll go off at 7 a.m. So it will stop detecting motion at 7 a.m. But any time before that, it's detecting motion. And he's like, why would you do that? That's crazy. I said, oh, I know it's crazy. But what's crazier is a 13 year old eating freeze dried skittles and drinking two sodas in the middle of the night. So now I don't have to worry about it.

Speaker 1:
[77:15] To this point, like lying to our kids. Yeah. I told Creed. What's too far? No, nothing. Me. Nothing's too far at this point. I told Creed, I said, you know, when you lie, unfortunately, worms come out your butt. I don't know why it was the first thing I came up with. Why?

Speaker 5:
[77:38] Why did you say that?

Speaker 1:
[77:40] So he freaks out, right? He looks at me in the shower and he says, how come when I've been lying to you, worms haven't been coming out my butt? And I'm like, Creed, if you thought worms were going to come out your butt, why are you lying to me?

Speaker 2:
[77:59] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[78:00] And he's lying about dumb shit.

Speaker 2:
[78:02] Like what? Well, see, that's how you create a pathological liar when they start lying about dumb shit, you know?

Speaker 1:
[78:08] Well, it's the same song and dance. Are you wearing Lux's underwear or are you wearing your own? You know? And so I think that's probably the subconscious reason I said worms will come out your butt. Because like if you're wearing Lux's underwear, now you're going to ruin his underwear because the worms are going to come out your butt, you know? But so now he knows, like there's no, like he's five and he barely believed my like reason for why he shouldn't lie. Well, that was Tracy.

Speaker 2:
[78:36] Worms coming out of your butt is insane. I mean, at least think it through. Like, shooting is going to happen. And if worms don't come out, you're done.

Speaker 1:
[78:47] Yeah, worms didn't come out.

Speaker 2:
[78:48] Like, parenting is over for you.

Speaker 1:
[78:49] Like, I didn't know he was lying to me either. So, like, that's a problem.

Speaker 2:
[78:54] Oh, I know when everybody's lying to me before I ask, right? Like, if I ask a question and everybody in my life knows this, if I ask a question, it is because I already know the answer to it. Like, I am not wasting my time asking you something that I can find the answer on my own. You know you are trapped, so you might as well go ahead and tell me. Wait, Kail should go and get, like, some worms from the gas station, you know, like the crawlers, and put them in the toilet.

Speaker 1:
[79:22] In the toilet and be like, and be like, Creed, you've been lying?

Speaker 2:
[79:25] Like, who pooped there?

Speaker 1:
[79:26] No, I'm just going to blame Creed right off rib because he's the one that said he's been lying. He admitted to lying. He's like, so I'm going to be like, you went to your dad's and all the worms came back.

Speaker 2:
[79:36] Can you imagine? Can you video it?

Speaker 1:
[79:39] No, I will literally do that.

Speaker 2:
[79:41] I love this idea. Just go get you some crawlers, girl.

Speaker 1:
[79:43] I'm just going to go. Hey, can you bring some worms home?

Speaker 2:
[79:47] Okay. On that note, we have foul play. Hi, kitties. I was on a second date with a guy who I really liked. On our first date, he was saying how much he loved a girl in a dress and how he loves women to cook for him. Okay. He's immediately off the date. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[80:01] Immediately, I'm not interested.

Speaker 2:
[80:03] I decided to invite him over to my house. I put on a fancy dress, curled my hair, pinned up the front with a couple of bobby pins, and cured it with a lot of hairspray. When he arrived, I told him I was making homemade chicken alfredo to really impress him. I decided to show off my grilling skills and grill up the chicken breasts.

Speaker 1:
[80:18] Good for you, girlfriend.

Speaker 2:
[80:20] The amount of effort that's just been set in these three sentences is way more than I've ever done my entire life.

Speaker 1:
[80:25] I'm not pinning my fucking hair in place and standing barefoot in the fucking kitchen to cook chicken alfredo.

Speaker 2:
[80:30] Chicken alfredo, that's crazy. Like, and also to do chicken alfredo on the grill.

Speaker 1:
[80:35] Like, I don't have words for that.

Speaker 2:
[80:40] She says, we went outside and I went to light up the grill. I turn on the LP, turn down all four burners and press the ignite button. Nothing happens. So I keep pressing the ignite button, but again, nothing happens. My date begins to say, I think we should shut it off. I stick my head into the grill. Oh.

Speaker 1:
[80:58] Why didn't you just help her turn it on? How about that?

Speaker 2:
[81:01] I stick my head into the grill to get a closer look, push the ignite button, and boom, the grill blows up in my face. To my horror, I realize that my hair is on fire. I quickly began patting it out with my hands to put it out. I look at my date and say, how bad is it? His eyes say it all. He had a completely horrified look on his face. He just says, just go to the bathroom. I excuse myself to the bathroom. And to my horror, every single hair on my face was gone. No eyebrows, no eyelashes. And where every hair follicle was located was burned into a little black ball. I noticed my hairline was also singed. And when I pulled the bobby pins out of the entire section, did you guys make this up?

Speaker 1:
[81:45] I've never heard this. I feel so bad and I feel horrible, even worse that I'm laughing at her pain. Like this is something that she probably struggled with for weeks. Weeks?

Speaker 2:
[82:00] You said weeks, her hair were singed off. That's not growing back in weeks.

Speaker 1:
[82:08] Like her eyebrows.

Speaker 2:
[82:10] Your eyebrows would not grow back in weeks. My grandmother waxed my eyebrows in the 90s and one still fucked up.

Speaker 1:
[82:18] I'm so pissed at that guy for not helping her. I think we should turn it off. Fuck you and light the fucking grill. Fuck off.

Speaker 2:
[82:27] She says, when I pulled the bobby pins out, the entire section fell into the sink. Oh no. I walked out of the bathroom and my date says, why don't you just take a shower? You smell like a burned body. After showering, he was sweet enough. Oh, now he's sweet enough.

Speaker 1:
[82:43] No, he belongs in hell.

Speaker 2:
[82:45] He was sweet enough to have dinner with me, but after this date, I never saw him again. This bitch burned her whole fucking facial hairs off.

Speaker 1:
[82:52] No, he had dinner with me, but I never saw him again.

Speaker 2:
[82:56] She said, I have never been more mortified, but it gives me a good laugh to this day. I hope it gives you guys a good laugh as well. Love the podcast. You guys keep me occupied on long drives. Love, Emily.

Speaker 1:
[83:07] I love Emily so much, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. We should have cut it off at the point that he tried, like he should have said, hey, thank you so much for cooking. I'm gonna go turn the grill on for you. The fact that he watched her struggle and then said, I think we should turn it off.

Speaker 2:
[83:24] It's giving like housewife.

Speaker 1:
[83:26] It is, and it's giving like trad wife.

Speaker 2:
[83:29] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[83:29] But also like the fact-

Speaker 2:
[83:30] Which is fine.

Speaker 1:
[83:31] I'm still stuck on the fact that he didn't help her with the grill. As manly as you are, you didn't have the common gentleman courtesy to help her turn on the grill.

Speaker 2:
[83:42] Actually, what I've noticed, this might be a controversial take, but what I have noticed is-

Speaker 1:
[83:46] Men don't know how to do shit.

Speaker 2:
[83:47] No. Men who want a woman like this, they don't know how to do that stuff. Men who do know how to do it, don't really care to have to have a woman like this.

Speaker 1:
[83:58] I would agree.

Speaker 2:
[83:59] Could you imagine if I went and stuck my head into a grill with a man standing there, and that thing ignited all over my face, burned my fucking eyebrows and my eyelashes and my whole hair to the, my bobby pins like were singed? Could you imagine?

Speaker 1:
[84:15] I think you can simply cook the grill, the chicken for me.

Speaker 2:
[84:18] So are we saying that that is a blue job?

Speaker 1:
[84:22] I'm saying that I would sue him for emotional distress. She deserved better.

Speaker 2:
[84:27] And on that note, we've got to go film TikToks to entertain you guys. Join us on the Fatherless Behavior Tour this summer. Tickets at kailllowry.com. Thank you for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app. Follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. For our latest merch, visit coffeeconvospodcast.com to shop. Full video episodes are available on Kail's Patreon at patreon.com/kaillowry. Please don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

Speaker 1:
[84:59] See ya. Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it and we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the Fatherless Behavior Tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out Tour Dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on kellowery.com. And if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else.

Speaker 7:
[85:41] We're coming at you with everything we got.

Speaker 10:
[85:50] With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise, and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

Speaker 11:
[86:09] Hey, quick question. Why do you keep thinking you can change that man? I mean, you are not his mother. Let someone else change that poopy diaper and focus on yourself. Hi, everyone. I'm Viola Benson, your Russian big sister and almost adulting Viola Benson. I give you that tough love, dating advice and reality checks that you didn't ask for, but you absolutely need. We talk relationships, confidence, mental health, boundaries, and how to finally stop settling for crumbs. You deserve better, babe, and it starts with me. So new episodes every Thursday. Come hang out with me. Follow, rate, and review Almost Adulting wherever you get your podcasts.