transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:07] Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy.

Speaker 2:
[00:11] And I'm Joan. I'm back filling in this week for Susan.

Speaker 1:
[00:14] And we have such a special guest this week from Gen season, Hakeem and his beautiful girlfriend, Monica. Welcome to the podcast, you guys.

Speaker 3:
[00:24] Thanks for having us. What up, boy?

Speaker 1:
[00:27] Hakeem, I just gotta ask, how did you score such a beautiful woman?

Speaker 4:
[00:30] I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know. I tell myself all the time, I'm like, yo, I tell Monica, I'm punching for sure. Meaning like she's out of my league.

Speaker 1:
[00:39] Is that like batting above your batting average or something? Is that what that means?

Speaker 2:
[00:43] Kicking your coverage, the whole thing.

Speaker 4:
[00:45] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[00:45] Yeah. It's a UK term?

Speaker 4:
[00:48] UK term.

Speaker 3:
[00:48] UK term.

Speaker 2:
[00:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[00:49] But she's, yeah, she's gorgeous. I want her to talk more because obviously, you know, me and so forth, it's all about this beautiful woman right here, so.

Speaker 2:
[00:57] Well, I think it's all about you guys being a couple now. Because that's the big news. I am so glad Monica's now welcomed into Bachelor World. We're so happy to have you.

Speaker 1:
[01:06] And before we get started, we gotta say congrats. I mean, that's the story of the hour.

Speaker 2:
[01:11] Really is.

Speaker 1:
[01:12] Welcome, welcome, Monica.

Speaker 2:
[01:15] Yeah, welcome, Monica. And like we want to hear all about your love story. So I know Cathy's had a chance to talk to you, Hakeem, but now we have Monica on and we get to get her perspective a little bit. I mean, share how you guys met.

Speaker 3:
[01:29] Okay, yeah, it's a long, I talk with my hands up, but it's a long, twisted, I don't know, roller coaster of a story. So we actually met on Hinge back in 2021. 2021, Hakeem was living in Milwaukee. That's where I'm originally from. We went on a first date and it was probably the longest first date in history. We spent like three days together, just like five super well. But then we were together, I don't even know how long we were together for. We hit some rough patches in there, some family, my family situations. So we kind of, my family is not, I don't speak to them anymore. We'll put that out there. I know he spoke about it on the last podcast.

Speaker 1:
[02:18] Yeah, he did, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[02:20] So I don't really, I'm not in touch with any of them. But, so we kind of separated, and then again, he spoke about this, but my brother kind of reached out to him and said some very inappropriate things and used some very inappropriate words towards him, which kind of did the opposite effect of I think what my brother was trying to do and really like brought us back into each other's life because I was extremely embarrassed. So I was checking in on him like, I'm so sorry, like you don't deserve that kind of thing. And that was right after you got back from filming, I think. So like he was doing his thing. I was, you know, kind of healing in my own sense and, you know, going through my own traumas and doing all that. And then we just were like friends for a while. We just kind of were friends. And I needed, yeah, I was like, you need some help with your social media. So I just-

Speaker 1:
[03:17] That is such a good pick up line. That is such a good pick up line.

Speaker 2:
[03:21] I use it all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[03:23] But no, he really was struggling just to like post whatever. So I was like, let me at least help you. I was a teacher. I was teaching elementary kids. So I didn't really know either, but I was willing to, you know, help them learn. And then, yeah, we were just friends. His family was super great. Just like knowing kind of what was going on with my family. So like they'd invite me for holidays. So I wouldn't have to be alone. Things like that. Yeah, his family's great. And then I left teaching. So I taught elementary kids for 10 years. And I loved it.

Speaker 1:
[03:56] Bless you. Bless you. I taught middle school, Monica, and I loved middle school, but elementary? Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[04:02] My daughter's a third grade teacher.

Speaker 3:
[04:04] Oh, what?

Speaker 2:
[04:05] Yeah, my daughter's a third grade teacher. And my son went to Marquette in Milwaukee. I feel like we're connected already.

Speaker 3:
[04:11] Wow. Yeah, I taught, so my first three years, I taught in Milwaukee Public Schools, which was its own beast. And I taught, there was a mess, but I taught first, second, and third grade there. And then I taught in West Dallas Public Schools, and I taught a mix of fourth and fifth grade combinations, straight grade. Wow. I loved it, but my mental health was tanking. I like to say I was really good at it, and I was really good with the naughty kids. And so I kept getting all of them, like they're my babies. I would take them home, but my mental health was struggling. So I, last year was my last year teaching, and I got a new job in like in Illinois. So I moved to Chicago, and that's kind of when we really reconnected. And then after Paradise, we just kind of. Here you are.

Speaker 1:
[05:03] So are you guys living together in Chicago?

Speaker 3:
[05:06] Yes, we are.

Speaker 1:
[05:07] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[05:08] So I do have to say, I'm thankful Susan was not on Paradise.

Speaker 1:
[05:12] Let me just say, Monica, I wanted to say this to Hakeem. First of all, Susan is so broken hearted, she could not do this podcast. She was broken hearted when she heard from the last podcast when she heard that you were back with Monica. Now to find out that you two are expecting a beautiful baby girl, she's devastated. She is crying in her soup and she may also be traveling, Hakeem. But just want you to know, you've broken her heart.

Speaker 2:
[05:42] But I got to be here and now I have a huge crush on both of you because you are the cutest couple. I love, love, love. I want to go back a little bit to 2021 if you don't mind. If you don't want to answer this, you certainly don't have to. But I'm wondering if that initial breakup when you first broke up, were you making an effort to try to reconcile with your family, Monica? Or were you and seeing if you could work that out and figure it out and maybe always had him still be in the back of your mind a little bit? I feel like that could be it.

Speaker 4:
[06:10] So let me, I'm going to take that one because the first breakup was my fault. I'm a person that's big on account.

Speaker 1:
[06:16] Hakeem, all problems are going to be your fault. Just admit it right now.

Speaker 2:
[06:21] You're right. You're right, Kathy.

Speaker 4:
[06:23] Well, so I'm going to be honest with you, me getting into relationship right after. So before I met Monica, I was in a relationship, wasn't the best relationship in the world, so I need a time to heal. But at the time, I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't know how to be alone, just to be frank with you, right? So at that time, I met Monica and she filled the void at the time, unfortunately, just to say that, right? But then my ex-girlfriend came back and then I got back with my ex-girlfriend. But during the time I was with my ex-girlfriend, I was thinking about Monica all the time. I'm just like, yeah, this is not the relationship I want to be in. So then I get a text message from Monica all of nowhere, because we were watching this show called, we're watching a random show, right? We're watching a show and she was like, oh, what channel was that show we were watching on? I'm like, obviously, she should know that. She could just Google it.

Speaker 2:
[07:16] Good job, Monica.

Speaker 1:
[07:17] I like your pickup lines, Monica. Thank you. Very creative. Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[07:23] Actually a little transparent, which is good because he gets what you're actually going for. You weren't actually asking a question, but you gave him the knowledge to know that.

Speaker 1:
[07:30] You gave him the opening. I want to ask a question about, you said, Monica, that you're not in touch with your family. I have to say to you, my in-laws never liked me. We always had a tough relationship in my almost 46 years of marriage. Do you feel like, and again, anything you don't want to answer, but do you feel like, especially being pregnant, do you feel like the door might be open for, or do you want the door to be open to everyone?

Speaker 3:
[08:04] No, I don't. There are some other things besides that Hakeem shared about the racism, whatever. There was some family secrets I've learned that I didn't know from when I was a baby, that I found out also recently that my mother, she doesn't know how to take accountability.

Speaker 4:
[08:24] She was also having an affair. Just say it, just say it, just say it.

Speaker 3:
[08:27] My mom was having an affair.

Speaker 4:
[08:28] Just keep it a book.

Speaker 3:
[08:30] So that I found out and she just doesn't know how to take accountability and she always is the person who plays the victim and will cry and things like that. So I don't really trust her. Yeah, so I was actually kind of the other day when I wasn't feeling great, I was crying and I was just like, I miss having a mom and Hakeem is great. He's like, if you want that relationship, like you can and I was just like, I don't want the relationship with her. Like I just missed that thought and that like idea of having a mother.

Speaker 1:
[09:03] Yeah, well let me just say Monica, Susan is out. That's not allowed, but Joan and I are available to be your surrogate moms.

Speaker 3:
[09:10] I would love that. I would love that so much.

Speaker 1:
[09:13] Count us in, count us in.

Speaker 3:
[09:14] Perfect.

Speaker 1:
[09:15] Let's jump to something happier here.

Speaker 3:
[09:16] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:17] I want to know if, do you think you guys would have connected, Monica, if you had been on the beaches of Paradise? Do you think you two would have connected that way?

Speaker 4:
[09:27] On Paradise? Both of us?

Speaker 3:
[09:29] Like if we didn't know each other and we met on Paradise, is that what you're kind of saying?

Speaker 1:
[09:33] Yeah, yeah. Man.

Speaker 3:
[09:35] Probably.

Speaker 4:
[09:36] I ain't gonna lie to you, I don't want to go up against the competition that we got on the beach.

Speaker 1:
[09:39] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[09:40] We had Dale on there, we got Donathan on there. I don't want to say nothing, but I'm just gonna say if she was on there, for sure, she's my type to the T, right? But I ain't gonna sit here and say that, I'm better looking at all that. I know what I bring to the table.

Speaker 1:
[09:54] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[09:54] Those guys were tens.

Speaker 1:
[09:56] Hakeem, you're a ten too, don't think yourself.

Speaker 3:
[09:58] Yeah, you're a ten too, Huns. But I do think our personalities vibe, we're both a little weird in a way, and our weird matches each other's weird. Like, we both like random things, like the house is at 80 degrees always, like the air is at 80, the heat is at 80.

Speaker 4:
[10:19] Yeah. Girl, Kathy.

Speaker 2:
[10:20] Temperatures, you have half your marriage figured out.

Speaker 1:
[10:23] Wait, I can move in with you guys.

Speaker 2:
[10:25] Absolutely.

Speaker 4:
[10:26] Girl, yes. Girl, yes. Kathy, I was just telling her, I was like, me and Kathy have so much in common.

Speaker 1:
[10:31] Oh, don't you start with me, Hakeem. No, no, don't you start. If Susan were here, I'd be yesterday's news.

Speaker 4:
[10:37] No, no, no, it's different. With Susan, it's like a crush, crush.

Speaker 1:
[10:43] What am I?

Speaker 3:
[10:43] I know, I know.

Speaker 4:
[10:44] It's just a crush.

Speaker 3:
[10:45] I know all about Susan.

Speaker 4:
[10:46] You are like my girl. Like you are like out there. You are very transparent and straightforward. That's why I love you because you don't, you can't bullshit a bullshitter. And you are just, you're just straight to the point, just like me. So that's what I was telling her. I was like, she's so much like me.

Speaker 1:
[11:04] Okay, I think I'm going to say thank you.

Speaker 3:
[11:06] Yeah, it's a compliment, it's a compliment.

Speaker 1:
[11:09] Thank you. I love you, Hakeem. Monica, when is this adorable? Because I'm all about babies. Joan and I love babies. When is this adorable, darling, do? And do we have names?

Speaker 3:
[11:24] My due date is October 28th. So, yeah, I'm kind of hoping for a Halloween baby.

Speaker 2:
[11:30] Yeah, you're all about the holidays because you announced your baby on April Fool's Day, which I have to ask you about that. Because that is the funniest thing because I'm sure everybody thought that was in April Fool's. I mean, Chaka and I did something weird. I did. I'm like having a baby, and I can't remember what we did. He posted it and I just like collabed on it and all of a sudden people are messaging me like what's going on. So you, of being childbearing age, people must have thought that was a joke.

Speaker 3:
[11:54] Yeah, it was very intentional. I have gone to the doctor, I think like a week before even, and we were just calling people and it fizzled into that time. Someone I think suggested like that'd be hilarious if you guys did that. Hakeem was like, oh yeah, we're posting it then. I had like the few cousins who I talked to, like one of my cousins, and her kids were like, oh, I honestly thought it was a joke until like we did the gender reveal. I think that's when people were like, oh wait, no.

Speaker 1:
[12:29] That's exactly.

Speaker 2:
[12:30] That's taking the joke too far. That can't possibly still be a joke.

Speaker 1:
[12:34] Okay. So now I'm old enough to be your mother, both of your mothers. And I got to ask, because that's who I am. Like I know, first of all, I'm so happy for you guys. That goes without saying that you are a lovely couple. I'm so happy. I love babies. I'll come and babysit for you. I want to come to the baby shower. Hakeem, I'll send you my address. But I want to know, like, do you guys think about this? Me being old-fashioned, don't you? Do you talk about getting engaged or married or any of those things?

Speaker 4:
[13:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'll let you take it.

Speaker 3:
[13:09] I'll let you take their phone.

Speaker 4:
[13:10] Yeah, I mean, so first things first, I was probably going to do like a, just like a courthouse one really quickly so she can go into my insurance. That's probably the most important thing for me.

Speaker 3:
[13:18] Just like logistically right now.

Speaker 4:
[13:19] Just be honest. Just for right now.

Speaker 1:
[13:20] That is so romantic, Hakeem. I know. I don't even know what to do.

Speaker 2:
[13:23] Yet, I love that practical side of you because you're having a baby and you need to think practically a little bit. That is so smart.

Speaker 1:
[13:30] No, no, no. Hakeem, I'm going to give you an option right now. I want you to listen carefully. I'm being your mother here. Yes. Let's reframe this whole thing. Why don't you right now get on one knee on this podcast and ask that beautiful woman to marry you right here?

Speaker 4:
[13:46] You deadass?

Speaker 1:
[13:47] I'm deadly sorry.

Speaker 4:
[13:48] I mean, we're already going to get married. Do you want me to be more romantic?

Speaker 1:
[13:52] Yes. I don't want to hear about insurance. I want you on your knee. I'll give you the words if you can't come up with them.

Speaker 2:
[13:58] Kathy, you can't do this to them.

Speaker 1:
[14:00] Will you?

Speaker 2:
[14:00] You gotta stop.

Speaker 3:
[14:01] Missed hand.

Speaker 1:
[14:02] Watch me. Will you marry me?

Speaker 3:
[14:04] I would love to. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[14:06] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[14:07] Congratulations.

Speaker 1:
[14:08] Yes. She said yes. She said yes.

Speaker 4:
[14:11] She's the fourth full Cupid. The fourth full Cupid right there. That works.

Speaker 1:
[14:15] Hakeem, I'm going to tell you this is our first proposal on our podcast. So you guys, yay you. You're now officially engaged.

Speaker 2:
[14:25] Congratulations. You're right.

Speaker 4:
[14:27] I have what we have. I'm actually looking to get another ring for her and all that. Obviously, I'm doing it more on the secret side. So I'm getting kind of a ring put together for her because I also have another diamond ring as well. So we're going to repurpose those and then we're going to add to it as well.

Speaker 1:
[14:44] So wait, I'm sorry, you have a diamond ring already?

Speaker 3:
[14:48] So I have a diamond ring from, it's actually my mom for one of my graduation gifts because my parents are divorced, obviously. But I mean, but so-

Speaker 1:
[15:00] So are mine, Monica, so are mine.

Speaker 3:
[15:02] She had repurposed her wedding ring and gave it to me for one of my graduation gifts. So I actually have the diamonds and that so that I've actually given it to him and I've said, use it how you want.

Speaker 2:
[15:16] So you have a starter ring to make it even better.

Speaker 3:
[15:19] And I was like, I don't want this ring but we can use the diamonds, we can trade the diamonds in, we can whatever.

Speaker 1:
[15:24] This is so exciting.

Speaker 2:
[15:26] Hakeem, I love that.

Speaker 1:
[15:27] Joan and I are available to confer on design should you need help.

Speaker 2:
[15:30] Oh, very much.

Speaker 1:
[15:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[15:32] I've had many diamond rings in my life. I had a very generous husband for many years before he passed away and now I have chalk and I have a Bachelor Nation diamond ring.

Speaker 1:
[15:41] I have one.

Speaker 4:
[15:43] How's you and chalk? I mean, chalk is the man.

Speaker 2:
[15:45] Thank you. He's great. We're awesome. He was here for Easter and then I'll see him again. We have a little bit of a stretch because I'm super busy for some reason in this month. It's very weird. I'm doing press for a pancreatic cancer action network and so I have a lot to do for that this month. Then I will see him in the beginning of May.

Speaker 4:
[16:03] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[16:03] So great. Thank you for asking. Thanks for remembering.

Speaker 4:
[16:05] Of course. Are you guys going to the... Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead, Kathy.

Speaker 1:
[16:08] I was going to say, do you want to know about my love life too or is this...

Speaker 4:
[16:10] I was just about to ask you about you and Keith.

Speaker 1:
[16:14] What? Keith?

Speaker 2:
[16:17] My ex-boyfriend.

Speaker 1:
[16:18] Yeah. Keith and I have...

Speaker 4:
[16:20] I'm teasing you, girl. You know I'm teasing you.

Speaker 1:
[16:23] I know.

Speaker 2:
[16:23] Last time we talked, Hakeem, you were going to find me. She was speechless for the first time ever in her life.

Speaker 1:
[16:26] Yeah. Hakeem, you were going to find me somebody last time we talked. Just saying. But you've been busy. Getting engaged, having babies. I get it. You're busy.

Speaker 4:
[16:35] You're too youthful. You're too good for these guys that are out here. I've already told you, you need to be dating somebody younger than you. I'm talking like 40s. That's what I'm saying. I know that's crazy to say, but you are so fun. You don't want a guy... I mean, from my point of view, obviously, I can't tell you what you want, right? But in my eyes, I picture you with somebody that has your type of energy. You're just so bubbly. And I don't want somebody that's on the couch and needs Viagra and all that stuff. You know what I mean? Like, seriously, I'm so serious. You're on the show already.

Speaker 1:
[17:10] Monica, help.

Speaker 4:
[17:11] I'm just saying. I'm deadass.

Speaker 3:
[17:13] You never know what's going to come out of his mouth. I promise you.

Speaker 1:
[17:15] Well, that's why I love him, because you never know what's coming out of mine either.

Speaker 4:
[17:18] Exactly.

Speaker 1:
[17:19] All right. Enough of my day and life. I want to go back to the baby. I want... Just real quickly. How do you feel having a girl? Did you want a boy? Did you care? We all say ten fingers, ten toes. How did you feel?

Speaker 3:
[17:31] I think every woman secretly wants a girl, right? But I was convinced it was a boy. I was convinced baby was going to be a boy. When I saw it was a girl, that's why my reaction was what it was, because I was so convinced it was a boy, but I'm so happy to have our little girl come in.

Speaker 2:
[17:51] How do you feel about being a girl, dad?

Speaker 3:
[17:53] Yeah, Hakeem.

Speaker 4:
[17:54] Yeah, I knew it was going to happen to me. I knew it was going to happen to me, because all my life, when I grew up from high school to now, I'm like, yo, I want four boys. We're going to have a basketball team. No, no, no, no, a relay team. A track guy. A track guy.

Speaker 1:
[18:08] That's right. Pass that baton.

Speaker 4:
[18:10] Exactly. I wanted my last one to be the anchor for us. But that plan has obviously changed. So I knew that was going to happen to me, but I'm so happy just to have a healthy baby. I don't know how I'm going to be a girl dad.

Speaker 1:
[18:25] You're going to do it with lots of love in your heart.

Speaker 2:
[18:27] It's all going to come to you naturally.

Speaker 1:
[18:29] She's going to have you wrapped around her finger.

Speaker 3:
[18:31] That's exactly what I think happened.

Speaker 1:
[18:34] That's right. Your world is going to be making her and Monica happy. That's going to be your world now, Hakeem.

Speaker 4:
[18:40] I mean, it's already my world.

Speaker 3:
[18:45] He has four sisters and grew up really with his mom and his sisters.

Speaker 2:
[18:48] So he knows how to do this.

Speaker 1:
[18:51] Exactly.

Speaker 3:
[18:52] He's going to be a great girl, dad. We talk.

Speaker 2:
[18:59] I have two kids expecting little girls both in June. So my son is going to be the first time being a girl dad, June 22nd. Then my daughter's also due June 22nd, as well as one of our producers here is also due on June 22nd.

Speaker 1:
[19:13] Everybody is.

Speaker 3:
[19:14] But my best friend is due June 30th.

Speaker 2:
[19:16] So I mean, it's the end and all girls. So our girls are going to be good friends. Yes.

Speaker 3:
[19:22] Yeah, they'll be friends.

Speaker 2:
[19:23] But I'm watching my son. I'm watching my son-in-law, how they're stepping up, how they're being good partners to their pregnant wives. Tell me, how are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing to make her feel comfortable and special and cared for?

Speaker 4:
[19:34] Yeah. I mean, I think first things first. I mean, she never is at the toilet by herself. I'm with her in her bag.

Speaker 2:
[19:40] She's the beautiful hair, holding her hair back.

Speaker 4:
[19:42] Yeah. That's exactly what I do. I massage her while she's at the toilet. Then I try to make her food. I also- what were you going to say?

Speaker 3:
[19:52] I just said, uh-huh.

Speaker 4:
[19:53] But also, I think just the little things that may be kind of tedious for her, I try to make sure to make her life easier because obviously, I don't know how it is to be pregnant and I don't want to know how it feels to be pregnant respectfully, but I think at the end of the day, I want my daughter to see how a man respects a woman. So for me, it's most important for me to always set that, because my sisters don't have that, right? So I'm trying to break generational shortcomings that I have in my family. So being with Monica throughout the whole entire process, with her being pregnant, watching whatever she wants to watch, her crying if she just randomly starts crying.

Speaker 2:
[20:30] Hormones, they're nasty things.

Speaker 4:
[20:32] Yeah, I mean, she gets weird cravings. She might want McDonald's, and then all of a sudden she changes her mind and she wants a bologna sandwich. You know what I mean? Like, what's going on? But whatever she wants is my command, you know?

Speaker 1:
[20:44] I gotta say, Hakeem, you...

Speaker 2:
[20:46] I love you.

Speaker 1:
[20:47] Yeah, we love you. But I have to say, since I've met you, we always joke around and have fun. But I don't know if you remember, I said to you at one point, there is a side of you that I know is there, this deep, caring, loving, not goofball, and you are showing it now in Spades, so yay you.

Speaker 4:
[21:06] I appreciate that. I didn't get a chance to show it because I've been booted off all the time so quickly.

Speaker 3:
[21:10] I'm thankful, I'm thankful.

Speaker 2:
[21:19] Hakeem, do you have any pregnancy cravings? And are you gaining weight a little bit too, like a lot of fathers do?

Speaker 4:
[21:25] No, no, no, no. I would say the only pregnancy cravings I get... What, what do you mean sex?

Speaker 1:
[21:33] Oh, let's go, let's go.

Speaker 2:
[21:34] Monica, spill the tea, whatever you're about to say.

Speaker 3:
[21:37] Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 2:
[21:40] What is it?

Speaker 4:
[21:41] You heard me.

Speaker 2:
[21:42] Did I hear you right?

Speaker 1:
[21:43] Did you say sex?

Speaker 3:
[21:44] You heard it right.

Speaker 1:
[21:46] You know why sex is so great when you're pregnant?

Speaker 4:
[21:48] Girls, she can't get pregnant.

Speaker 1:
[21:50] She can't get pregnant.

Speaker 2:
[21:51] She can't get pregnant? It's the best.

Speaker 4:
[21:54] No, but she feels so, like, off. So, like, she can't, like, you know what I mean? Maybe random as hell, like, at 2:30 p.m. work and she's like, well, do you want to have sex? I'm like, yeah. She's been... And I'm like...

Speaker 2:
[22:06] Chopped the computer. I'm out.

Speaker 4:
[22:09] I'm sorry for being too over... I'm just very... Okay, I'll just say, I'm just being too out there.

Speaker 1:
[22:15] Graphic, graphic.

Speaker 2:
[22:16] Yeah, I know, I know, I know. You know what? It's so great that you're being honest about that because I think that you're not the only person that had that craving, by the way, so it's all good.

Speaker 4:
[22:24] But it's also understanding while she doesn't have that libido as I have because her libido kind of goes down doing the first trimester and second trimester.

Speaker 3:
[22:32] I just don't want to be throwing up.

Speaker 1:
[22:35] Yeah, well, that's going to end as truly Monica, that somehow you meet that 12-week mark and all of a sudden, you're just ravenous, everything's great, sex morning, noon and night, and you're good. You're good to go.

Speaker 3:
[22:49] I'm in 12 weeks. I'll be 13 weeks on Wednesday. So in the last couple of days, I've noticed I even was telling Hakeem, I was like, I feel more like myself, like I don't feel as bad.

Speaker 1:
[23:02] Do you have names picked out? Are you going to share with us names?

Speaker 2:
[23:05] Yeah, we'll share.

Speaker 1:
[23:06] Oh, yes.

Speaker 2:
[23:06] I can tell.

Speaker 3:
[23:07] Marlee Marie.

Speaker 1:
[23:10] I love it.

Speaker 2:
[23:11] Marlee Marie. That is so cute. Oh, good job, guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[23:16] Where did that come from? How did you choose that name?

Speaker 2:
[23:18] Marlee.

Speaker 3:
[23:19] So Marlee from Bob Marlee.

Speaker 1:
[23:21] Bob Marlee. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[23:22] I love it.

Speaker 3:
[23:23] From him being Jamaican. So we had boy names and girls names. Actually, we've talked even before I was pregnant. They're both very Jamaican influence. And then Marie is my middle name. And so kind of like float, float, float nice. Yeah. And then her middle name is going to be Bliss, which is his mom's maiden name.

Speaker 1:
[23:45] So wait a minute. It's Marlee Marie is her first name.

Speaker 3:
[23:47] Yeah. So Marlee.

Speaker 2:
[23:49] Marlee Marie.

Speaker 1:
[23:51] I'm going to call her M&M.

Speaker 2:
[23:52] So cute.

Speaker 1:
[23:53] Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[23:54] So we're both M&M's because my name is Monica Marie. So then our Marlee Marie is so we're both the M&M.

Speaker 2:
[24:00] Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:
[24:01] Hakeem, what's your middle name?

Speaker 4:
[24:03] Elijah.

Speaker 1:
[24:04] Hakeem, Elijah.

Speaker 2:
[24:06] Wow.

Speaker 4:
[24:07] I'm definitely, if I have a boy, I would never name him Hakeem. Let me tell you, the struggle of going through a drive-thru and you're like, yo, get her in for Hakeem. They're like, Hakeem? No, Hakeem. Hakeem? I was like, you know what? It's all good. Monica, call it a day.

Speaker 2:
[24:21] Call me Mike.

Speaker 1:
[24:22] Jaqueline? No, Jacqueline.

Speaker 2:
[24:27] That's right.

Speaker 1:
[24:27] So wait, are you doing natural childbirth, which I highly recommend not doing, but okay. Listen, let me just, you are going to do a planet trip?

Speaker 3:
[24:37] I was talking about this with my friends. So my two of my best friends have babies already. They're like two and one and a half, and then the one is having another one. I don't know, I was talking about it. I may try and then it may come to the point where the epidural is needed, but I know once you get it, you can't really always feel your contractions.

Speaker 1:
[24:59] Oh, trust me, I had three. I did fine. I pushed all three out.

Speaker 2:
[25:04] I had four, I pushed all four out.

Speaker 1:
[25:05] With epidurals, thank you so much. Here's my thing, Monica. I felt like these doctors had gone to school and researchers had figured out how to push a baby out without a lot of pain, and I wanted to make them feel that I respected their hard work.

Speaker 4:
[25:22] Can I ask you ladies this, like what is, because she was talking to me about it, I'm like, do whatever you got to do, because I don't care if it's whatever natural or, I don't know, whatever you got to do to get the baby out, do what you got to do, right? What is this such a thing of a natural birth versus an epidural birth?

Speaker 1:
[25:38] Epidural, they jam you with a needle that makes you numb from basically the waist down, but you can feel the contractions, they just don't hurt. You can push, you can do it all, it just, you do it without pain.

Speaker 4:
[25:53] It's like, it's still natural, it's coming out your vaginal canal. So like how is it not coming?

Speaker 1:
[26:02] Because you're drugged instead of, natural means no, it's natural meaning you get no medication. Got it. But like I said, all those researchers, Eli, Lily, all those companies spent years figuring out how to let a woman have a baby without pain, and I wanted to reward that, so bring it on. And in fact, you guys, when I had my first child, true story, I went into labor and when I found out it was pregnant, at three months I asked my OB for the epidural and he started laughing. I said, I'm not kidding, I'm really pain averse. And so when I got there in labor, the nurse came in and said to me, who are you? And I said, what do you mean, who am I? Like all I want is that epidural. And she said, well, my doctor, his name, she said, he said to give you the first epidural. Like, who are you? I said, he's just a smart man who knows I can scream very loud.

Speaker 2:
[27:01] I actually tried to do my third, no, my third child without an epidural and I got like six or seven centimeters into it. I was like, give me the freaking needle. So I don't recommend it. I tried it. I don't recommend it. So I had four. I mean, do whatever you want and like you said, you can take it whenever you want.

Speaker 1:
[27:21] Yeah, just know Monica, if you wait. So my third one, each one gets easier, right? My third one, they were inducing me, although I got to the hospital, I was already in labor and I was at six centimeters, which is pretty and they didn't want to give me an epidural. I said, right now, not a second later because if you go too far, you can't get the epidural and it didn't hurt at six centimeters, but you know what? I am not a Vegas girl, I was not taking that bet, I wanted to make sure that it went easily.

Speaker 2:
[27:50] Okay, I want to fast forward though to babies born. You guys have such a really cute report with each other, and I'm dying to see you as parents. What kind of parents do you think you're going to be? Who's going to be the strict one? Who's going to be laid back one? Is there going to be a strict one?

Speaker 1:
[28:08] Oh, I love that you think that they know this, Joan, but go ahead. Well, but I wouldn't hear it. I'm dying to hear their answers.

Speaker 3:
[28:13] So I will say Hakeem will most likely be the strict one. Yeah. But with having my education background, too, I'm like...

Speaker 2:
[28:21] True.

Speaker 3:
[28:22] You know, like, I don't know, I feel like being a mother has always been in my nature. Like, everyone's like, you're going to be such a good mother. Like, you were born to be a mother. So I don't know. I think we're going to be kind of like easygoing parents to a degree. There's going to be a lot of music in our house.

Speaker 1:
[28:38] Yeah. Just hold that baby a lot. Love on that baby. They grow so quickly.

Speaker 3:
[28:43] A lot of books, a lot of reading. When I left teaching, I kept like six bins of books. Like, I'm like, I can't get rid of them. I kept six bins of books. We actually got into a fight about it.

Speaker 4:
[28:55] Because I wanted to get rid of them.

Speaker 3:
[28:56] He wanted to get rid of them. I said, no, I'm not getting rid of these books.

Speaker 1:
[28:59] Never, Hakeem.

Speaker 3:
[29:00] And then I got pregnant and he was like, yeah, good thing we didn't get rid of those books. So it'll be a lot of play, a lot of just hanging out, reading music, learning.

Speaker 4:
[29:13] I can say though, for me, I was scared to have a boy too because I was scared I might be too hard on my boy. But having a daughter, I think it's going to kind of have a different shift of mindset, you know? Obviously, I'm not going to be strict, but I'm going to make sure to be very, very much just on board with things, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2:
[29:35] Hands on.

Speaker 1:
[29:36] I'm going to, Monica, I'm going to go with this. I think that when this beautiful Marlee Marie is, oh, let's call her 16, and dad, I've got a date tonight with Hakeem Jr. You are not going to be easy going about it at all.

Speaker 3:
[29:56] No, he is not going to be. One voice, one picture. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:01] No, she's seen it like, like, right, like what, a week ago, I was, this guy, my sister, my sister was, dating, and I just wasn't in the page, like I wasn't on the same, what would you say?

Speaker 3:
[30:14] I was just, that wasn't it. You didn't realize that she was like, dating someone.

Speaker 4:
[30:17] Yeah, so like, he was there. So I gave him a big conversation, like kind of just like how everything is, like what's your plan in life, all of those things. I'm very straight to the point in your face. Like if you're uncomfortable with me, that means you're not for my sister, you know? So yeah, I was very much just like on it with him and he took it very well and he's, he's 27. So he took it really well.

Speaker 1:
[30:39] He got the first train out of town and no one's gotten him since.

Speaker 2:
[30:42] I love that though. But you have some good practice now. You've had your sister. No, yeah. So it's just my sister.

Speaker 3:
[30:48] Even his girlfriends too. Like he had some really great girlfriends and when they have a new man in their life, he-

Speaker 4:
[30:54] Yes, it's not a game.

Speaker 2:
[30:55] You're vetting him.

Speaker 1:
[30:56] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[30:57] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[30:57] All right. So speaking of your family, who in Bachelor Nation besides Joan and myself, who's going to be the official aunties and uncles for your- Yeah. Who's in on this?

Speaker 4:
[31:10] I'll let you take the wheel for a little bit.

Speaker 3:
[31:13] Well, the-

Speaker 4:
[31:13] You know a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[31:14] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[31:14] So Graham and Brandon. Brandon was actually the first person to know because Hakeem was not himself and having whatever. So Brandon was like, what's wrong, dude? Like, what is going on?

Speaker 1:
[31:28] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[31:29] So he called Brandon right away. So Brandon had to keep the secret. We joked that Brandon's our son. Just jokingly, he calls us mom and dad sometimes. So Graham and Brandon are probably the most excited out of all of them. Jonathan. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[31:45] Jiggity for sure.

Speaker 3:
[31:45] Jonathan.

Speaker 4:
[31:46] I would say, who else?

Speaker 2:
[31:49] Can you tell me Brandon who just for Bachelorette Nation, so they know who Brandon Jones is?

Speaker 3:
[31:53] Brandon Jones. He was on Michelle's season.

Speaker 2:
[31:55] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[31:56] Monica, do you know all these people?

Speaker 3:
[31:58] I do. I do. I've met all of them.

Speaker 2:
[32:01] There's certainly some in Chicago. There's some Bachelorette Nation people living in Chicago.

Speaker 4:
[32:04] Oh, Nate Mitchell. Nate Mitchell. That's my brother, too.

Speaker 3:
[32:07] He was on Gabby and Rachel's. He was, I know, one of the first people to reach out to you when you were on the season.

Speaker 4:
[32:14] Yeah. He was one of the first people to reach out to me.

Speaker 3:
[32:18] And he's a girl dad.

Speaker 4:
[32:20] Girl dad through and through. Great father.

Speaker 1:
[32:24] Have you given thought to the nursery yet?

Speaker 3:
[32:28] Like decorations and things.

Speaker 1:
[32:29] Colors. These are things that are very important, Monica.

Speaker 3:
[32:32] Listen, so pink is my favorite color.

Speaker 1:
[32:35] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[32:36] Me too.

Speaker 3:
[32:37] I love pink bows. So my friends, I was just talking like, what's the baby shower theme? I was like pink bows. So I love it.

Speaker 2:
[32:44] Perfect.

Speaker 3:
[32:45] Very girly, very. Very.

Speaker 1:
[32:48] Yeah. Can I tell you, my daughter there? In fact, today is my granddaughter's third birthday.

Speaker 3:
[32:53] Oh, happy birthday to her.

Speaker 1:
[32:55] I'll tell her. But my daughter loves the girly girly stuff. And she has literally bought Amazon out on bows. My granddaughter?

Speaker 2:
[33:07] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:08] She will not wear one.

Speaker 2:
[33:10] She won't wear them all.

Speaker 1:
[33:11] She will not wear. She'll wear clips, little clips, but not the hair bows.

Speaker 2:
[33:15] Yeah. My granddaughter is the same way. She's two and a half, will wear the clips, but not the bows. But also like decorating, you get to choose for so long because they really have no control. They hit around two and then it's up to them. They're going to wear what they want and do what they want. But I actually want to know, I know you talked a little bit in the beginning of the interview, that you are the social media person. You know Bachelor Nation loves their Bachelor Nation. And they love all of you guys, especially you young ones, way more than us old people. And they love to see how your life is evolving. They love the new relationships. They love the babies. Are you guys going to be really private about this? Or are you going to be sharing this with the world so we can watch your journey? You guys are a couple and a half.

Speaker 1:
[33:54] What Joan is saying is, we'd like to have cameras in the delivery room.

Speaker 2:
[33:58] Whatever. We want to see that first baby picture you laying in bed with your new baby. We want to see all that. But how do you feel about that?

Speaker 4:
[34:04] I mean, it's nothing. It's your decision. My decision is whatever.

Speaker 3:
[34:09] I know there's all the stuff with kids on social media and all of that. So that will be.

Speaker 4:
[34:14] It's up to you.

Speaker 3:
[34:15] We'll share. I'm sure we'll share. We're just going to be too excited to not share. We're just going to be beautiful.

Speaker 4:
[34:22] But the thing is that newborn babies all look like aliens. So like, why do you want to see the baby first?

Speaker 1:
[34:28] Hakeem, you are so wrong.

Speaker 4:
[34:29] There's never been a beautiful.

Speaker 3:
[34:31] No, that's not true. You said a story. The family's daughter was cute.

Speaker 4:
[34:34] Yes, she is cute, but she is cute.

Speaker 1:
[34:37] Here's the thing, Hakeem. Everyone else's children, newborn children look like aliens. Your daughter is going to be the most beautiful child you have ever laid eyes on, and you are going to feel sorry for everyone else that their daughter is not as beautiful as yours. And if you don't think I'm serious, I'm deadly serious.

Speaker 3:
[34:59] We'll talk back in a few months.

Speaker 4:
[35:00] Yeah, no, for sure.

Speaker 3:
[35:01] No, but I agree.

Speaker 4:
[35:02] I told her, I was like, if she has a lot of your genes, I'm like, she's going to be a smoke show. She's going to be beautiful.

Speaker 1:
[35:08] True, true, true.

Speaker 4:
[35:08] But, you know what?

Speaker 1:
[35:10] Well, all right, we are so excited about this, but I want to move on and see, first of all, we really do want you to keep in touch with us and let us know we are so excited about this view.

Speaker 2:
[35:22] All right, everyone, that's it for part one. We're going to be back tomorrow with Hakeem and Monica answering some of your questions. See you soon.