transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Welcome back to another episode of I Never Liked You with Matteo Lane and Nick Smith, and today we're talking about overdone franchises, to a lot of which I am fans of. Most you've not seen.

Speaker 2:
[00:11] That's not true, I've seen a lot. There's a lot to unpack here. Wait, the audio is recording, Chris? Yeah. No, I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[00:19] How would you know? You don't even have the headphones on. Why would you even say that Chris is the one wearing the headphones?

Speaker 2:
[00:23] You made me feel.

Speaker 1:
[00:24] Why would you even, we just went over the audio.

Speaker 2:
[00:26] I know, I forgot.

Speaker 1:
[00:28] Is the audio happening? Question, I know the franchises that you've seen. I don't like when you lick.

Speaker 2:
[00:34] I forget that I do it.

Speaker 1:
[00:35] You lick it all the time and then when you do it, you don't remind me of, I had a teacher. I shouldn't even say her name.

Speaker 3:
[00:40] Don't say her name then.

Speaker 2:
[00:41] Say her name.

Speaker 1:
[00:43] Ms. and it was in sixth grade and everybody knew she had a wart here. Well, in case she's not, believe the name. She would lick it and before you got to her class, people would tell you and your parents all thought like, oh, that's the kids. But she genuinely licked it. My impression of her is she would go, well, see, she would always lick it.

Speaker 2:
[01:04] I don't have a wart. I just have dry lips.

Speaker 1:
[01:07] Oh. It's just so creepy to talk to.

Speaker 2:
[01:11] I don't realize I'm doing it half the time. I think I do it on stage too because I've seen photographers take pictures during shows and it'll be like...

Speaker 1:
[01:21] You're like Cher.

Speaker 2:
[01:23] Yeah. I am Cher.

Speaker 1:
[01:25] I know the franchises you've seen.

Speaker 2:
[01:27] I've seen? Okay, so...

Speaker 1:
[01:28] But this is something that Nick does. We need to talk... This is something you do. Instead of watching with everybody, you wait till it's all done and then you watch it within a week.

Speaker 2:
[01:38] That's not true. That happened...

Speaker 1:
[01:40] You did it with Game of Thrones.

Speaker 2:
[01:41] Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1:
[01:41] You did it with the MCU.

Speaker 2:
[01:43] With the MCU.

Speaker 1:
[01:44] You did it with Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 2:
[01:46] Well, no, that was years after.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] But I'm saying after it's popular, you wait to watch it all at once.

Speaker 2:
[01:53] Yes. Harry Potter, I didn't wait. Hunger Games, I didn't wait.

Speaker 1:
[01:57] I still have not seen Hunger Games.

Speaker 2:
[01:59] Really?

Speaker 1:
[02:00] Well, you've never seen Star Wars.

Speaker 2:
[02:02] True.

Speaker 1:
[02:04] How did that...

Speaker 2:
[02:05] It's of no interest to me.

Speaker 1:
[02:06] You've not seen it?

Speaker 2:
[02:08] Yeah, but it doesn't even look of interest. None of that...

Speaker 1:
[02:11] But how did it not enter your life?

Speaker 2:
[02:15] My family isn't fans, so if your family is not a fan... I feel like Star Wars is a generational thing. Like, you pass down eye color, you pass down Star Wars.

Speaker 1:
[02:26] You think that eye color is a generational thing or a genetic thing?

Speaker 2:
[02:29] That's what I mean. Potato, tomato. The reason I do this is because I just re-watched Hunger Games, Songbird and something. Rockin J? No. The one that just came out like a year or so ago with Rachel Ziegler.

Speaker 1:
[02:49] They sound like Mariah Carey titles.

Speaker 2:
[02:51] And it just dawned and they've come out with the announcement of the Harry Potter TV show and I'm just like, it's too much. Why are we, like the franchises themselves were obviously good and successful and then instead of just leaving them as a moment in history, now they've just like are trying to.

Speaker 1:
[03:08] Well, there's a couple of things.

Speaker 2:
[03:09] Cash in on the IP as much as possible.

Speaker 1:
[03:11] Number one, the movie industry's falling apart and so is television as a whole. So now people, like it's become so, it's just become so diluted in terms of like how people watch things or people aren't collectively watching things anymore. Like I think Game of Thrones was really the last time that everybody was watching something collectively together and then talking about the next day, like, you know, the water cooler talks that it's being. So now you're at this point where it's like we need someone to watch it and they only want to watch it if they know what they're watching. It's become like heavy based nostalgia. And on top of the fact that now they're competing with people looking at their phones while watching shows. So even Netflix said like, what did Netflix say or someone said? But that they're even reiterating a lot of anecdotes and that was the thing they say about Netflix. There's repeating exposition for those who are like barely paying attention. So if you are paying attention, people just look stupid the way they talk. But I have to say, I never liked Harry Potter.

Speaker 2:
[04:11] So I liked the movies. I don't like JK.

Speaker 1:
[04:13] Rowling.

Speaker 2:
[04:14] Well, JK. Rowling is a nasty cunt, but I liked the movies. And my thing is like, they're doing this TV show of the exact same books, at least with Hunger Games or Star Wars or whatever have you. They're doing like sequels or prequels or Lord of the Rings with the TV show. It's not the same thing. This is literally just the same things. Just as a TV show. So they're doing a season per book. So they're running it for... There's eight books.

Speaker 1:
[04:49] Isn't that the movies? They did the movies?

Speaker 2:
[04:51] That's what I'm saying. They're just repeating the movies. And it's a ten year commitment.

Speaker 1:
[04:56] Ten?

Speaker 2:
[04:57] Because they're filming them once a year. So each year they'll only... Or no, every two years.

Speaker 1:
[05:05] What?

Speaker 2:
[05:06] Right? I don't know how long... It was something crazy. They're releasing it every two years. But the cast had to sign on for a ten or a fifteen year commitment. John Lithgow signed on his Dumbledore and he's like 78.

Speaker 1:
[05:20] So he's going to be 88 by the end of it?

Speaker 2:
[05:22] Or in the ground, which is what happened with the original Dumbledore in the movies.

Speaker 1:
[05:27] Which I will say, the movies I saw, because my mom, my aunt, my cousin Brian, they all loved the book, so we would go see them. And the first Dumbledore was what I thought was a great Dumbledore, like kind of old.

Speaker 2:
[05:36] He was amazing.

Speaker 1:
[05:37] Yeah, and then the best one. The second one, I mean, I was like, he died. He was aggressive. Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[05:42] He was aggressive.

Speaker 1:
[05:43] He like moved too fast. Like I was like, he should be older.

Speaker 2:
[05:45] He was too young. Well, because they didn't want to have happened what already happened.

Speaker 3:
[05:50] Pretend to be old, like Maggie Smith in Hook.

Speaker 2:
[05:53] He was too aggressive. I think the other thing is comparatively so. At the same time, Lord of the Rings had come out, so they had, what's his?

Speaker 1:
[06:05] Ian McKellen?

Speaker 2:
[06:06] Ian McKellen and the original Dumbledore. They both played that sort of old, white, long haired wizard so well, that when whatever the guy they replaced in Harry Potter, it just didn't, everyone was like, oh, they're much better at this.

Speaker 1:
[06:22] Lord of the Rings, I remember seeing it, my friend Caesar, who was dating my cousin Megan at the time.

Speaker 2:
[06:26] Shout out Caesar and Megan.

Speaker 1:
[06:27] Forced us one day to go to like, it was a Thursday night. I was like a junior in high school. And he was like, we have to go to the opening of Lord of the Rings. So we drove to fucking Skokie. Why did we drive to Skokie? I don't know, shout out Lisa Trager. We go to Skokie to see a midnight showing. It's a four and a half hour movie. Then it's a blizzard. So me and Megan are leaving, driving home. I got like one hour's sleep and her and I still talk about it. But I do like Lord of the Rings. However, I was so excited for that Lord of the Rings TV show, like in 2021.

Speaker 2:
[06:57] A billion dollar TV show?

Speaker 1:
[06:59] A billion dollars. I said a billion dollars. When I tell you.

Speaker 2:
[07:02] No one watches it.

Speaker 1:
[07:02] It was. Have you seen it?

Speaker 2:
[07:04] No, I refuse. I don't even like the movies.

Speaker 1:
[07:06] You watched all of them.

Speaker 2:
[07:08] And it doesn't mean I liked them.

Speaker 1:
[07:10] It was the worst television show I've ever seen. And sometimes the sets were so tickety-tack that it looked like, remember Hercules, the TV show on the WB, like in 1999?

Speaker 2:
[07:23] No, I was a child.

Speaker 1:
[07:24] Like, Xena Warrior Princess? Like, the sets were clearly like, they threw up like a vine they got from Michael's. And like, that's kind of what the set looked like sometimes in Lord of the Rings. It was so bad.

Speaker 2:
[07:34] That's what I don't understand is like, part of me is like, oh, they're just doing this as cash grabs because they're existing IPs. But that wasn't even a cash grab. It was a billion dollar show that they lost so much fucking money because no one watched it. Did they have a season two? I think they did. And no one watched that one. So then on top of that, Game of Thrones now, so they had House of Dragon, terrible.

Speaker 1:
[07:55] But let's talk about Game of Thrones real quick.

Speaker 2:
[07:58] Well, Game of Thrones was amazing.

Speaker 1:
[08:00] But I want to talk about it.

Speaker 2:
[08:01] Until the end.

Speaker 1:
[08:01] Just for fun.

Speaker 2:
[08:02] But hold on. What I'm saying is that now with Game of Thrones, because it was so popular, they came out with House of Dragon.

Speaker 1:
[08:07] Which was terrible.

Speaker 2:
[08:08] Which was terrible. Then they just recently came out this year with The Night of the Seven Kingdoms, which was terrible. And then I just read somewhere out, so they're now drafting a new one, possibly with Arya. It's too much.

Speaker 1:
[08:21] Okay, I was so excited for House of Dragon, nothing happened.

Speaker 2:
[08:24] We were all excited. It's been three seasons of We're Going to War. If I don't see some bitch's head get chopped off in this next season, I'm going to chop my own head off.

Speaker 1:
[08:36] All right, let's talk about some of the franchises that I want to get into. I want to talk about Game of Thrones, then I want to move on to Star Wars.

Speaker 2:
[08:41] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[08:42] Game of Thrones, what everyone's opinion is, Game of Thrones seasons one through five, great, six, seven, eight, fell apart, particularly season eight, a nightmare. Who is your favorite character in Game of Thrones?

Speaker 2:
[08:54] I thought, haven't we talked about this?

Speaker 1:
[08:56] Have we? I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[08:58] I think we did.

Speaker 1:
[08:59] We did?

Speaker 2:
[09:00] I'm having deja vu.

Speaker 1:
[09:01] We've talked about this in person.

Speaker 2:
[09:03] I think we've talked about this on this. I did not hate the last season as much as everyone else did.

Speaker 1:
[09:09] It was pretty bad.

Speaker 2:
[09:10] There were bad things about it.

Speaker 1:
[09:12] It was messy.

Speaker 2:
[09:12] Everyone was like, that's the worst thing. I didn't hate it that much. My favorite character...

Speaker 1:
[09:20] Come on. Come on.

Speaker 2:
[09:25] The thing is, I love Circe, but I love Margaery.

Speaker 1:
[09:32] Well, that's a good choice.

Speaker 2:
[09:33] And I love...

Speaker 1:
[09:35] Her aunt, her grandma. Her grandma.

Speaker 2:
[09:38] Like, those three are amazing characters. Yeah. Men-wise.

Speaker 1:
[09:47] I like Jon Snow. Well, he's so hot. He's so... I still...

Speaker 2:
[09:51] His character is whatever.

Speaker 1:
[09:52] The way he talks is very much like this. And I'm gonna go to the war and go to the ice war and be a... It's like...

Speaker 2:
[10:00] I will say, I will say, I did not like Joffrey, but you weren't meant to like Joffrey.

Speaker 1:
[10:06] No, no, I like Joffrey in the way that I hate love him.

Speaker 2:
[10:08] I was gonna say, but it was portrayed and acted incredibly well, because everyone hated him.

Speaker 1:
[10:14] Yeah.

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Speaker 1:
[12:03] Okay, so we've talked about this and I want to get into Star Wars. Now, I'm a huge Star Wars fan.

Speaker 2:
[12:06] You once tried to show me the movie and I couldn't get through it.

Speaker 1:
[12:10] So I only like the original three, the 19-

Speaker 2:
[12:13] Which is? Four or five.

Speaker 1:
[12:17] Correct.

Speaker 2:
[12:18] Okay, but it's the original.

Speaker 1:
[12:21] The original that were made, not in terms of timeline of Star Wars.

Speaker 2:
[12:26] So the original that were made are not actually the start of the story.

Speaker 1:
[12:29] A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, which is obviously the best one, and Return of the Jedi. Those three, between like 1970, was it 1977, 1978, through 1983?

Speaker 2:
[12:39] The only way I know Star Wars is through the Family Guy episodes, so I vaguely know about it.

Speaker 1:
[12:45] Okay, because I want to quiz you. If you had to tell me, just through proxy, what you think the plot of the original Star Wars is about, the characters, who they are, and what's happening, what, 1977 and 1983, I think, what?

Speaker 2:
[13:04] They're that old?

Speaker 1:
[13:05] Wow.

Speaker 3:
[13:05] Yeah, 77, 80, 88.

Speaker 2:
[13:07] And then the prequels that came out after is with Natalie Portman.

Speaker 1:
[13:11] Yes, and they were very, very bad. And then they had the sequels, they were very, very bad. So the only good Star Wars...

Speaker 2:
[13:19] And now all these Disney Plus shows.

Speaker 1:
[13:20] Oh, it's enough already.

Speaker 2:
[13:22] Every year, it's another Mandalorian and Baby Yoda and Rogue One 800 call now.

Speaker 1:
[13:28] Rogue One particularly was bad.

Speaker 2:
[13:29] It's too much.

Speaker 1:
[13:30] So what do you think Star Wars is about?

Speaker 2:
[13:31] Let's start with... This is my guess.

Speaker 1:
[13:33] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[13:33] I know the character names for the most part.

Speaker 1:
[13:35] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[13:36] So there's Luke Skywalker. There's Princess Leia.

Speaker 1:
[13:39] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[13:40] Darth Vader. Who's the big blob again?

Speaker 1:
[13:49] I can't believe you skipped over Han Solo and went straight to Jabba the Hutt. You know, that was good.

Speaker 2:
[13:57] Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO.

Speaker 1:
[14:00] Oh, my.

Speaker 2:
[14:02] Okay. So my guess, because I don't really know, even from the family guy, I can't fully remember, is Princess Leia is a princess, and she is stolen by Darth Vader, who wants to marry her. And he's trying to take over the whole galaxy with the big black circle.

Speaker 1:
[14:23] Are you thinking of the Mario movie?

Speaker 2:
[14:25] No, which is called The Death Star.

Speaker 1:
[14:28] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[14:29] And Miami Falcon? What's that?

Speaker 1:
[14:33] Miami Falcon.

Speaker 2:
[14:34] Is the ship thing. Okay, so Yoda is another character. Who? Yoda is another character.

Speaker 1:
[14:41] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[14:42] So she's been stolen, and this ragtag bunch of sort of doohickey-ups and incomers, Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, Chewbacca, R2-D2. You would never guess they'd be friends, but they found each other and were just a ragtag bunch of rascals, saving people left and right. And they were hired to find Princess Leia and kill Darth Vader. And Han Solo is Harrison Ford?

Speaker 1:
[15:18] Mm-hmm, so hot.

Speaker 2:
[15:20] And he is Luke Skywalker's mentor, and Yoda is their mentor. And then Darth Vader is obviously Luke's father, cause dark father. And then, so the movies just sort of talk about their many mishaps and mysteries of trying to, oh, Scooby-Doo's another one.

Speaker 1:
[15:46] Lowly turning into Corky from Waiting for Government.

Speaker 2:
[15:48] And then they eventually find Princess Leia, they rescue her. And every movie, it's like, will they, won't they? And Luke and Princess Leia fall in love. And will they kill Darth Vader? And he just gets away in the nick of time. And then finally it ends with them destroying the Death Star with the Miami Falcon thing. No, Rogue Falcon?

Speaker 1:
[16:12] You're right, Miami Falcon.

Speaker 2:
[16:13] Miami Falcon. No, what is it? The, no, I can picture it, cause I'm thinking Lego. The, what's it begin with?

Speaker 1:
[16:23] M.

Speaker 2:
[16:23] Oh, it does begin with M. And Falcon? It really is? Yeah. So it's M Falcon.

Speaker 1:
[16:31] There's something, right.

Speaker 2:
[16:32] Moon Falcon.

Speaker 1:
[16:34] Don't give it away, Chris.

Speaker 2:
[16:35] What's the second letter?

Speaker 1:
[16:38] I don't want to give it away.

Speaker 2:
[16:41] Miami Falcon. Um, Jabba the Hutt also captures Princess Leia because he wants to marry her. They want to marry her as well.

Speaker 1:
[16:52] Every character wants to marry Princess Leia.

Speaker 2:
[16:54] Well, isn't that what all those movies back then were about?

Speaker 1:
[16:56] Can I tell you what the plot?

Speaker 2:
[16:57] Was I close?

Speaker 1:
[17:00] In some aspects, yes. And then in some aspects, absolutely not.

Speaker 2:
[17:04] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[17:05] Star Wars is about, well, there's a lot of lore, but the first movie is about a farmer kid who wants to escape his simple life. His name is Luke Skywalker.

Speaker 2:
[17:15] He's a farmer?

Speaker 1:
[17:16] Yeah, he lives with Uncle Owen and Amber.

Speaker 2:
[17:18] A farmer in space?

Speaker 3:
[17:20] On Tatooine.

Speaker 1:
[17:21] It's like a sandy planet. Anyway, it's the underdog who wants a bigger life than he has, blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, Princess Leia is the princess of the Republic.

Speaker 2:
[17:33] Of China.

Speaker 3:
[17:35] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[17:35] They are the rebellion. And she gets kidnapped by Darth Vader because Darth Vader knows that she has the plans for the Death Star. The Death Star is a giant moon-sized ship that destroys planets. And if the rebels have these plans, then they can destroy it. So Darth Vader captures her to bring her to the Death Star and stop her, blah, blah, blah, whatever. So maybe use her as leverage from the rebellion until they give her the way the plans. But she put the plans on R2-D2 and sent him off. And he happens to land, R2-D2 happens to land on Tatooine. Luke finds them, realizes the princess, there's a message, Obi-Wan Kenobi, we need your help. So he finds Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan was like, oh yeah, Anakin Skywalker, he was a good friend of mine. And then he turned to the dark side. Long story short, they need to get, Obi-Wan needs to get to Princess Leia. So they find Han, who's like a rebel, or what is he?

Speaker 2:
[18:30] Like a rag tag bunch of friends.

Speaker 1:
[18:32] So then they go together and of course Luke is learning the Force because Obi-Wan is teaching him the Force and Han doesn't believe in it. And then they get to the ship. Luke is Princess Leia's sister, or brother and sister. They're Darth Vader's kids.

Speaker 2:
[18:46] Princess Leia is Darth Vader's child?

Speaker 1:
[18:48] Yeah. Did she know that? And Han Solo, well she finds out in the third movie, but Han Solo.

Speaker 2:
[18:52] Oh my god, spoiler alert.

Speaker 1:
[18:53] Han Solo falls in love with Princess Leia, not Luke Skywalker, and Darth Vader doesn't want to marry her. Darth Vader is trying to get Luke to turn up to the dark side for the Emperor.

Speaker 2:
[19:02] Does he know they're his kids?

Speaker 1:
[19:03] Well, he eventually finds out, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:05] Wait, he didn't know that Luke and Leia were both his kids?

Speaker 1:
[19:09] He knew Luke was his son because in the second movie, Luke is like, they're having a confrontation.

Speaker 2:
[19:12] Who's their mom? Jabba?

Speaker 1:
[19:14] No, Natalie Portman, Padme.

Speaker 2:
[19:16] Padma Lakshmi?

Speaker 1:
[19:18] Padma Lakshmi. Shout out to Padma. I see her all the time at the gym. I'm too afraid to talk to her. She's very intimidating. She's very important.

Speaker 2:
[19:25] So how did Luke end up on a farm?

Speaker 1:
[19:28] Because he was hidden when they were born. They hid the two kids away from Darth Vader.

Speaker 2:
[19:32] And we learn all this in the Natalie Portman movies.

Speaker 1:
[19:35] Well, the Natalie Portman fell in love with Darth Vader, who was Anakin Skywalker at the time. Is this interesting? Should we even keep this for the podcast?

Speaker 2:
[19:41] Sure. Well, now we're going to do the same thing with Hunger Games because you've never seen it, and I love the Hunger Games movies.

Speaker 3:
[19:48] All right. Also, it's called the Millennium Falcon.

Speaker 1:
[19:50] Yeah, it was the Millennium Falcon.

Speaker 2:
[19:54] Go.

Speaker 1:
[19:55] Hunger Games is about, there is an island and at the center of the island, there is an energy source that Midas wants to use and stop the storm from happening. So there is the shadow team and there is the ghost team and one of them is fighting with Midas and the other is fighting against it. Midas uses the source of energy to fight the storm from coming in, but it reverts and hurts.

Speaker 2:
[20:37] The storm mistress of the elements.

Speaker 1:
[20:40] So it's a constant battle royale. You start on a bus and there's music on the bus and you jump off the bus and you land at a POI.

Speaker 2:
[20:51] Honestly, you're pretty close, but not even remotely close.

Speaker 1:
[20:55] What is Hunger Games? That was Fortnite. What is Hunger Games actually about? People used in an experiment by really rich people who are trained, like gladiators, and there's a bunch of rich people who have set up this world to watch a bunch of trained gladiators, so to speak, to fight and whoever wins, like these rich people make money off of it. So it's like some mix between like gladiator and squid games?

Speaker 3:
[21:20] Nope. Not at all?

Speaker 1:
[21:21] No, it's just kind of.

Speaker 2:
[21:23] There's like some parts of it, but not really. So what happened was-

Speaker 1:
[21:27] I know there's different factions.

Speaker 2:
[21:28] It's a sort of like post-apocalyptic world-esque, not like zombie, but like way in the future, and there's a capital city and then 13 districts, and they at one point rise up against the capital, but the capital defeats them, and as punishment, they wiped district 13 off the map, and as punishment, every year, they choose one boy child and one girl child from each district, throw them in a ring, watch them all kill each other, and then if you win, then you are allowed to like live and be paid for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1:
[22:04] Okay, it wasn't so far off. I knew it was like some people of power putting people- the gladiator.

Speaker 2:
[22:10] Right, but this specifically, so Jennifer Lawrence's character gets chosen in the first movie and she ends up winning it with Josh Hutcherson, who's also from hers.

Speaker 1:
[22:21] Who? I don't think I know who Josh Hutcherson is.

Speaker 2:
[22:24] If you saw a picture, you would. And she makes an enemy out of President Snow, who's in charge of the whole place.

Speaker 1:
[22:30] President Snow? That's the best name they could come up with? President Snow.

Speaker 2:
[22:34] Yes, his tagline is-

Speaker 3:
[22:35] I'm Mr. White Christmas.

Speaker 1:
[22:37] I'm Mr. Snow.

Speaker 2:
[22:38] Snow always lands on top, is his saying.

Speaker 1:
[22:40] I've never seen this man. Really?

Speaker 3:
[22:42] No. What?

Speaker 2:
[22:43] Josh Hutcherson? And then she also, so she's in a love triangle with him and Liam Hemsworth.

Speaker 1:
[22:48] I know Liam Hemsworth. Didn't he date Miley?

Speaker 2:
[22:51] Yes. Famously, they were engaged, married even.

Speaker 1:
[22:54] Were they married?

Speaker 2:
[22:55] Weren't they married?

Speaker 1:
[22:57] What do you think happened there?

Speaker 2:
[23:01] To quote Miley, she can't be tamed. She's just Miley being Miley. They were married.

Speaker 1:
[23:10] Okay, I have a question. What's a franchise neither one of us has seen? We can both try and guess what it is, and Chris can tell us whether we're right or wrong.

Speaker 2:
[23:16] But I would have seen it then. I was going to say, I don't think there's a franchise neither of us have seen.

Speaker 1:
[23:22] Yeah, there's got to be some.

Speaker 2:
[23:23] What about Dune?

Speaker 3:
[23:24] Did you guys see the Dune movie?

Speaker 1:
[23:25] I've never seen Dune.

Speaker 2:
[23:25] I've seen Dune.

Speaker 3:
[23:26] Do you like them?

Speaker 2:
[23:27] Not particularly, but they don't really do it for me. They're kind of boring, to be honest. Indiana Jones?

Speaker 1:
[23:33] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[23:35] James Bond?

Speaker 2:
[23:36] Of course, I love James Bond.

Speaker 1:
[23:38] GoldenEye is my favorite.

Speaker 2:
[23:39] Who do you want to be the new James Bond?

Speaker 1:
[23:40] I don't care. I have GoldenEye.

Speaker 2:
[23:42] You got to care.

Speaker 1:
[23:42] I don't care about what.

Speaker 2:
[23:44] Who do you want to be?

Speaker 1:
[23:45] Are they saying Jacob is going to be it?

Speaker 2:
[23:47] Jacob who?

Speaker 1:
[23:48] Jacob the tall guy from-

Speaker 2:
[23:49] Oh, Lordy?

Speaker 1:
[23:49] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[23:50] No, he would be a weird James Bond.

Speaker 1:
[23:52] Why?

Speaker 2:
[23:52] He's too tall.

Speaker 1:
[23:53] Well, they can edit.

Speaker 2:
[23:55] No.

Speaker 1:
[23:55] How many actors are five foot one? They make him look like they're six eights.

Speaker 3:
[23:58] Yeah, but he needs to be able to blend in. When you're that tall, you can't really blend in.

Speaker 1:
[24:02] You can't get on his knees.

Speaker 2:
[24:04] Literally. I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[24:07] James Bond Mission.

Speaker 1:
[24:07] I've never seen Mission Impossible.

Speaker 2:
[24:10] The guy from Bridgerton, I think, could be a good James Bond. Rene Jean-Page.

Speaker 1:
[24:15] Never seen Silent Hill or Resident Evil. I only saw season one of Stranger Things, and I just saw a few episodes of American Horror Story, which I don't, those show, that show is so stressful.

Speaker 2:
[24:29] After season four, it really jumped ship. You watched it?

Speaker 1:
[24:33] The first one that I watched.

Speaker 2:
[24:34] The first few.

Speaker 1:
[24:34] The first one that I watched.

Speaker 2:
[24:35] They weren't really scary.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] The first one I watched was the Assain asylum one.

Speaker 2:
[24:39] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[24:40] And I swear, what's her name? I love her.

Speaker 2:
[24:41] Jessica Lange.

Speaker 1:
[24:42] Jessica Lange. I swear to God, this is the plot. Have I done this before on this show?

Speaker 2:
[24:47] I don't think so.

Speaker 1:
[24:48] This is the plot. If you've not seen it, she's a nun.

Speaker 2:
[24:51] It's one of the best seasons.

Speaker 1:
[24:51] And they're in an insane asylum. I really think it was all a ploy just to see what's his name's butt in every episode, which fine.

Speaker 2:
[24:58] It's Ryan Murphy. He's going to show a guy's butt.

Speaker 1:
[25:00] I mean, what's his name? Who's the guy?

Speaker 2:
[25:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:04] His butt's amazing. But anyway, this is it, Jessica Lange.

Speaker 3:
[25:08] Wait. We have this insane person, but there's an alien outside. But we don't have time for the alien because this girl, she's got a demonic presence and now that's gone and the other none. But I don't have the zombies outside and old Nazis also are working here. But I don't have time for the Nazis because the aliens are back. I saw an alien in the hallway when I was drinking. I have a drinking problem. I was a prostitute, but now somehow I'm a nun. Oh, God. The demons. Now, this one girl showed up for an episode and we never saw her again, but now I'm in the same asylum. The aliens are still here. Zombies outside, but the devil's running around, but the old Nazis in love with the devil, but we can't make sure. Also, there's a girl who was blind, but I don't remember something about a French girl, and then they died, and now we've taken over, and oh, I forgot about it. There was a murderer, and the murderer is a doctor who came in, and that doctor with skin, and that doctor goes around. We ignore the alien. We don't have time for the alien. Ignore that. No, we don't have to. No, there's zombies outside. It doesn't matter because we've got to worry about this doctor who's wearing skin, and he's taken Sarah Poulsen, who is a reporter, and no one cares about her, but she's also a lesbian, and then she comes in, and now she has to be his mother, but that doesn't matter, but she escapes somehow. Her lesbian lover died, but it doesn't matter because the aliens are coming, and then I'm now in the Insane Los Alamans. I'm shaking every single day, but then I was also raised by what's his face who sees the butt, and then I'm sort of crazy, but then I die, but his kids are wonderful. His wife was abducted by the alien, and he married a French girl, and she murdered, the alien girl murdered his wife, and what time is coffee with the reverend who is also, I think he's gay?

Speaker 2:
[26:50] You also sound exactly like that Coloscolis guy. Mr. Bartholomew.

Speaker 1:
[26:56] Mr. Bartholomew, we love Coloscolis. Mr. Bartholomew, you have stated your name. Mr. Bartholomew, one second. I didn't know that this was today. I got no sleep.

Speaker 3:
[27:12] My daughter's ex-husband, I'm living with him, and his iguana died.

Speaker 1:
[27:17] But is that not the epi- That was it.

Speaker 2:
[27:19] Mr. Bartholomew, I want to talk to you about what you said- I'm sorry, can we please schedule this?

Speaker 1:
[27:28] But is that not Jessica Lange?

Speaker 2:
[27:29] Yeah, I think she won an Emmy for it.

Speaker 3:
[27:31] How? It's so stressful.

Speaker 2:
[27:34] It's one of the best seasons. The best. The third one, Coven.

Speaker 1:
[27:37] The witch one. I saw that one too.

Speaker 2:
[27:39] The gays love that one.

Speaker 1:
[27:40] Kathy Bates is back.

Speaker 3:
[27:43] I'm looking for, I'm a witch, but I'm a supreme witch, but I also have a problem with Angela Bass. It doesn't matter because Kathy Bates is back, but we're going to put her, she'll be my new locker up inside, but this girl is going to die from that car accident because this witch is going to come in, but that girl was also in The Nun, but now she's her parents, she kissed him when he died.

Speaker 1:
[28:11] But anyway, and they're always smoking.

Speaker 2:
[28:13] Are they still making American Horror Story shows? Because that's another thing. At a certain point.

Speaker 1:
[28:20] Well, people watch it.

Speaker 2:
[28:21] Are they?

Speaker 1:
[28:22] Well, if they're making another one, then they're watching it. The next one's got Ariana Grande. Evan Peters, that's his name. He's so hot. Evan Peters, who was in Marvel. Yes. Do you know who he played?

Speaker 2:
[28:33] The Fast One.

Speaker 1:
[28:35] Come on.

Speaker 2:
[28:36] Wanda's brother.

Speaker 1:
[28:37] But he's not the real one. He played the fake Quicksilver. He was in the X-Men one and the neighboring one.

Speaker 3:
[28:43] That's right. It was a wonderful... The aliens...

Speaker 1:
[28:49] I mean, literally, in one episode, there's a demonic nun running around while an alien is confronting Jessica Lane while zombies are outside, while an ex-Nazi is creating experiments, while this French girl who's lying about... It's insane.

Speaker 2:
[29:02] I want to rewatch that one and Coven now.

Speaker 1:
[29:05] I didn't like Coven.

Speaker 2:
[29:06] Oh, it's so candy and fun.

Speaker 1:
[29:08] It's gays and witches. I preferred The Asylum, even though it stressed me out.

Speaker 2:
[29:12] I do want to rewatch The Asylum ever since.

Speaker 3:
[29:14] Hanna, bennett, bobbanna, for nanna, fennett, for fennett, for fee, fi, fo, fanna, hanna.

Speaker 2:
[29:19] Is that the one that we find out she did that German BDSM porn?

Speaker 3:
[29:25] Well, I was...

Speaker 2:
[29:26] Was that that season?

Speaker 3:
[29:28] No, but I wore red skirts. I had red lingerie under my...

Speaker 2:
[29:30] Was that fourth season the circus theme one?

Speaker 1:
[29:34] I had to stop after season three.

Speaker 2:
[29:36] She was like, it found out she did this German BDSM shit. That's why she didn't have legs. What? Literally, she did this German porn and they chopped her legs off.

Speaker 1:
[29:48] I'm gonna be Jessica Lange and you're gonna be Ryan Murphy, okay? There's a new season of American Horror Story.

Speaker 2:
[29:53] She is coming back.

Speaker 1:
[29:53] And the theme for the new American Horror Story is called Candy Shop. Tell me, let's sit down.

Speaker 2:
[30:00] I'm gonna try and take you to the candy shop.

Speaker 3:
[30:01] All right, so cancel. Let me just get this straight. So there's candy and I work at this shop and then what happens?

Speaker 2:
[30:09] The candy is actually possessed.

Speaker 3:
[30:11] It's possessed by what?

Speaker 2:
[30:13] Mythical creatures.

Speaker 3:
[30:15] Okay, by Greek mythical creatures?

Speaker 2:
[30:17] So you've got to sell the candy.

Speaker 3:
[30:18] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[30:19] And the mythical creatures are your bosses and they're trying to possess people.

Speaker 3:
[30:24] Is Peter Evans gonna show his ass?

Speaker 2:
[30:26] And he's the stock boy who you're also having an affair with. But then the person that brings in the candy is secretly having an affair with Evan Peters as well. And then somehow it turns into a Western.

Speaker 3:
[30:44] Fine. When do I start?

Speaker 1:
[30:47] I would say Jessica Lange is amazing.

Speaker 2:
[30:48] She's incredible. She gets an Emmy nomination every single time.

Speaker 1:
[30:51] I mean, she's stressed out. I mean, I would be so stressed out if I were her.

Speaker 2:
[30:55] We have one minute left. Any final thoughts on all these franchises?

Speaker 1:
[30:58] You know.

Speaker 2:
[30:59] Would you like them to make more?

Speaker 1:
[31:00] No.

Speaker 2:
[31:01] Is there something that they haven't made into a franchise that you would like to see?

Speaker 1:
[31:07] Um... I think it's all been done.

Speaker 2:
[31:14] I think they could do more with the Jurassic Park. I think, you know, Marvel is untapped.

Speaker 1:
[31:26] Do you think Marvel would have been saved if they had just stopped after WandaVision and let it breathe for a second?

Speaker 2:
[31:31] No, I think it would have been saved if they stopped after Avengers Endgame.

Speaker 1:
[31:35] But, no, WandaVision was amazing. As a show, creatively.

Speaker 2:
[31:39] But it came after Endgame. If they'd stopped after Endgame and let it breathe a bit, then come out with WandaVision...

Speaker 1:
[31:48] But I think WandaVision was such a big hit, everything afterwards was a disappointment.

Speaker 2:
[31:52] Well, the problem was, WandaVision was a huge hit that they weren't expecting it to be a hit. They even said they did not think people were going to watch this. They just made it. And they were just kind of testing the waters because they hadn't released Marvel TV shows yet. They didn't know. Like, they didn't know. And it became such a hit, like, huge, that they kind of re-worked and changed the rest of the phase plans to really delve into this, like, multiverse thing.

Speaker 1:
[32:27] Well, the multiverse sucked. It even bled into Fortnite. And that's what I mean, and it's just sort of...

Speaker 2:
[32:31] Katherine Hahn.

Speaker 1:
[32:32] Katherine Hahn.

Speaker 2:
[32:33] Who's now going to play the mother in the Tangled live-action remake.

Speaker 1:
[32:37] I met Katherine Hahn at, um, Drew. You were there. And when I met her, Agatha had just finished Agatha the series. Agatha All Along. Agatha All Along. Shout out, Sashir Zemata.

Speaker 2:
[32:50] Shout out, Sashir Zemata.

Speaker 1:
[32:51] And I said, um... I go, you've met Sashir. Why didn't you say her name more?

Speaker 2:
[32:56] Because I was stumbling over my words.

Speaker 1:
[32:58] But I met...

Speaker 2:
[32:58] Sashir Zemata.

Speaker 1:
[32:59] I met her. I met Katherine Hahn, and I go... My only interaction with her, she goes, nice to meet you, so nice to meet you too. I said, loved you in Agatha. I said, is there going to be a season two? And she goes, ta-ha! And she walked away.

Speaker 2:
[33:09] I don't think there is.

Speaker 1:
[33:10] No, it would have been made by now.

Speaker 2:
[33:11] It would have been made by now. It also just kind of wouldn't... I think that...

Speaker 1:
[33:17] She's going to come back to Doomsday, I think.

Speaker 2:
[33:19] I think she'll still be in Marvel, but I think they're trying to...

Speaker 1:
[33:24] Let it breathe.

Speaker 2:
[33:25] Wrap up this multiverse stuff.

Speaker 1:
[33:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[33:29] Because it did not go well for them.

Speaker 1:
[33:32] What is it called? Doom?

Speaker 2:
[33:33] Doomsday.

Speaker 1:
[33:34] Doomsday. I think it's supposed to be like capping that. And then they're going to get into the X-Men. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[33:41] I think the X-Men will be introduced into Doomsday.

Speaker 1:
[33:45] But I think the old X-Men are going to be out. That's what they're doing.

Speaker 2:
[33:49] I think it's they're saying goodbye, and I think they're bringing in the new...

Speaker 1:
[33:52] No, after Doomsday, they'll bring in the X-Men.

Speaker 2:
[33:54] No, that's what I'm saying. I think they're introducing the new in Doomsday is my guess. And then we'll do...

Speaker 1:
[33:59] Because they already have the cast out. It's the old X-Men.

Speaker 2:
[34:03] Yeah, but they're not going to announce the new X-Men because that's the...

Speaker 1:
[34:06] No, but they're going to say goodbye to all the old...

Speaker 2:
[34:08] They're going to say goodbye to you. All right, that's it, franchises. Moral of the story, we'll work for any of you if you are. We may have opinions, but we'll be there on set day one. Thank you for watching, listening to another episode of our podcast. Please like, comment, subscribe. Please join our Patreon for behind the scenes content, bonus episodes and much more. Please buy our merch. And until next time.