transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] It is Wednesday, April 22nd. I'm here with Sara Haines. Hello, Sara.

Speaker 2:
[00:03] Hello, Brian.

Speaker 1:
[00:04] Welcome back, Behind the Table. We've had a great week so far, and you've got, occasionally there's an issue that just gets to you, and I see it. And you just have something you can't hold back on, whether it's the Epstein files and the victims of those cases. And this time, you kind of turned it on someone I wasn't expecting. You've been really outspoken about not giving people like Tucker Carlson, and to a lesser extent, Marjorie Taylor Greene, a pass because they're speaking out against Trump now. Why have you been so passionate about this? Is it just because you don't buy it, or is it because?

Speaker 2:
[00:43] Well, I would say it's not a zero-sum game with these two individuals, and their stories are actually aligning a little bit. And the right is fractured right now because the far, far, far right, arguably the far, far, far left, is the horseshoe theory. It's coming around the sides type. That's hard to explain. But the far right is having some major voices speak up, like the Megyn Kelly's, the Tucker Carlson's. And then there are other conservative voices, like Ben Shapiro, who are saying, you guys, what is going on here? Is this party really going to be the party of anti-Semitic views? And I'm not talking about critical of Israel and Netanyahu. I'm talking blatant anti-Semitism, where they have these theories. I think it was Tucker, he labeled pro-Israel American Jews as Israel's informal employees. When you're talking about any group, fill in the blank, I think people don't recognize it, because this time it's about Jewish people. But this was never okay. And right now, Tucker Carlson hosted Nick Fuentes, a very, by the way, Nick Fuentes hates everyone.

Speaker 1:
[01:58] Well, we've been talking about him for years.

Speaker 2:
[02:00] He's been playing racist, you name it.

Speaker 1:
[02:02] Not a redeemable quality.

Speaker 2:
[02:03] No. And Tucker Carlson, who used to be on Fox News, didn't push back on one, barely pushed back in a two and a half hour interview with him. Not only did he invite him on, which I believe conversations need to be had, he didn't challenge him. He also interviewed Russian President Putin. And as we know, Russia's great with propaganda. He also did not push back on that. This could have been a great opportunity to use the skill set of the medium he used to be in and push back, but it was more of a glorified interview. He interviewed podcaster Darrell Cooper, which allowed claims that Nazis lacked intent in the Holocaust. I think they were very clear on their intent in the Holocaust.

Speaker 1:
[02:50] I don't disagree with that.

Speaker 2:
[02:51] So you look at him, and now he's saying, Trump specifically, is, oh, I feel bad. I played a part in misleading people. No, Tucker, you've been misleading people forever. That's why you got kicked out of Fox. When they were election denying, and he's on the side texting people in the White House, he hated Trump and was like, this guy lost. He knew it. But he'd go out to his millions of people he was broadcasting to and say otherwise. He's been duplicitous for years, and he doesn't feel bad about it. He feels personally wounded because Trump attacked him recently. And now he decides he has a thought. No, no, no, no. This guy, to me, Tucker Carlson is so severely dangerous because it's not someone even that believes what he's saying.

Speaker 1:
[03:36] You think it's calculated. Because I would say-

Speaker 2:
[03:38] Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:
[03:38] With Marjorie Taylor Greene, I actually am, I'm not 100% convinced, but I'm almost convinced that some of the changes in her are sincere.

Speaker 2:
[03:47] So in talking-

Speaker 1:
[03:49] When she was here, she seemed very sincere.

Speaker 2:
[03:50] She's got, it's kind of like, again, it's not all right and all wrong. I think she has had an about-face and really reassessed maybe the dangers of Donald Trump and it really had to hit her for her to see.

Speaker 1:
[04:03] You think Tucker's calculated, knew the dangers beforehand.

Speaker 2:
[04:05] No, but I think Marjorie Taylor Greene is too. I pushed her both times she was here on the Nick Fuentes.

Speaker 1:
[04:09] Yeah, you did.

Speaker 2:
[04:10] Because there was a point where, again, this is a hard line to- I've always said, I'm not like a free speech purist actually, but I do believe when people stopped inviting people to campuses because they had different views, who was deciding what the different view is? There's a difference between disagreeing on policy and issue and then literally troping in racism, anti-Semitism. Those people, why are we putting them on mainstream interviews? If you do, you better challenge them. That's what the job of the journalist is.

Speaker 1:
[04:43] You just said something interesting. You said you're not necessarily a free speech absolutist in that way. Give me some more context on that.

Speaker 2:
[04:49] Well, for years, we were talking about when the cancel culture of the early 2020s, I think, was happening. And people were like, they were canceling conservative speakers. And to me, that was dangerous. Having gone to a very liberal school, Smith College, if we were canceling people because they had conservative or Republican beliefs, that's a problematic cancellation. If you're literally talking about black people, Jewish people, women.

Speaker 1:
[05:17] Hate speech.

Speaker 2:
[05:18] Hate speech. Right. He barely comes up for air. Like, it's all hate. If you are doing an interview, because I'm not opposed to making a case that there should be interviews with these people, you better put someone that knows how to push back on these problematic beliefs. And Tucker Carlson has the skill set. He allowed for it because he wants the followers that Nick Fuentes has.

Speaker 1:
[05:41] Right.

Speaker 2:
[05:41] Those gropers. So he's shown us who he is and who he's allowing, what he's allowing to be said. Megyn Kelly is similar.

Speaker 1:
[05:48] Well, we've been talking about this kind of MAGA fracture, this civil war in the MAGA world. I was talking to you about it, Alyssa, but the fact that a lot of it does seem based around anti-Semitism.

Speaker 2:
[05:58] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[05:59] Is that kind of the core of it in your opinion?

Speaker 2:
[06:01] Right now? Well, for a while, we've seen the fracture happening when you saw the MAGA right break with more neoconservatives, people that believed in small government, people that were not going to get on board with tariffs, you know? There was already a fracture. This new anti-Semitic thing seems to have flared its head, sadly, after October 7th. A lot of this came back. It kind of flew to the surface. And it's been really sad to watch from the sidelines because as someone who has, my heart and my soul have always been trained when you're adding groups of people into a statement and saying, you know, painting with broad strokes, you can recognize that kind of hate wherever it comes up. The fact that if you inserted with a lot of things being said about Jewish people, if you added black people or gay people or women, people would be like, Oh, you can't what? You can't say that.

Speaker 1:
[06:57] Including you.

Speaker 2:
[06:58] Yes, including me.

Speaker 1:
[06:59] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[07:00] But when you say Jewish people, and I now am understanding some of the historical problems with anti-Semitism that have literally been around since the beginning of time is Jewish people were the original targets of everything. I just didn't realize the past it would get in polite society.

Speaker 1:
[07:18] It is kind of stunning.

Speaker 2:
[07:19] It is shocking.

Speaker 1:
[07:21] It's something that you've spoken about a lot on the show before October 7th too, but certainly since then, it's something that's come up on the show a lot more. You've been talking about it, and I've noticed people reacting to it as well and being aware of it. Is it something that, does this come at all? Because people say, well, she's not Jewish. Where does this come from? And you don't have to be, obviously, you're married to somebody who's ethnically Jewish. But why do you think it's such a line in the sand for you?

Speaker 2:
[07:47] So I have a deep rooted idea of right and wrong. And when I see something very clearly wrong, I will be loud about it. And sometimes there is nuance and color around certain conversations. In the day and age we live in, if you speak to a certain issue, you're either pro or anti. Sometimes there are conversations in between there, whether it's how you approach a movement, what you think societally will make the most change for an issue. And when you start talking about it, and it's critical of a movement, people are like, oh, she's anti.

Speaker 1:
[08:21] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:22] I come from more of a nuanced background where you gotta talk about it. You gotta fill the air with ideas and thoughts and then say, okay, this is where it is. This isn't even nuanced we're talking about. This is just blatant anti-Jew. And I'm gonna say that anti-Jew hate. I quote a rabbi who said, anti-Semitic sounds kind of academic and pretty. It's anti-Jew. And that's what we're seeing here. And again, when you said super racist things, over the years we saw, we've obviously seen that a lot in this country, but it got to the point where what we were addressing were more prejudices and microaggressions, maybe things people didn't realize they were saying or doing.

Speaker 1:
[09:05] While giving a pass to sweeping.

Speaker 2:
[09:07] Yeah, but that to me is progress. When you're getting into microaggressions, you're coming down to, okay, we know the blatant stuff is not okay. We're trying to now work around where it might still be.

Speaker 1:
[09:17] But it does seem like there's a backtrack on.

Speaker 2:
[09:19] This is now, I have friends that have shared comments they've gotten, Max, I'm not on X or anything, but he's shown me reactions that people have that have nothing about the thought that was being addressed and just come for identity, which we've seen for years. And it honestly enraged me. It has nothing for me to do with Max, considering he's so removed from so much of the culture. It's much more what I'm seeing outwardly among so many people that were on the right side of issues they saw as wrong before and who's speaking up for them.

Speaker 1:
[09:57] No, and to your point, there is nuance in things like the war and everything that's happened. And I don't think, it's such a hard conversation to have, but it's important to speak out against hate and abuse. You've been doing this job for 10 years. Has it gotten harder to have these conversations? You think it would get easier? I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[10:18] Well, so funny, like at the table, it's gotten easier over time. The chemistry, the dance we do is easy.

Speaker 1:
[10:24] But I mean in the culture.

Speaker 2:
[10:25] The culture, in some ways, it is harder. But honestly, when inconsistency shows up in an issue, like hate, when you see certain hate being condemned and certain hate being allowed, it gives you room to call it out. And in some ways, the arc of the last like six years or so, I have watched from the 2020, which everything that happened there, to 2026. And I've seen a lot of hypocrisy and inconsistency. And I, to me, it's very clear. And so I would say in some ways, it's given a pass for people like me to call back to issues and say, remember that? Where is everyone now? You know, like it does.

Speaker 1:
[11:06] Right, which doesn't mean they shouldn't have been out then.

Speaker 2:
[11:08] No, it should. Yeah, it's more like, how are we not all equally enraged at this and that? Because I see it very clearly, you know?

Speaker 1:
[11:18] Right. And of course, I have to say, Tucker Carlson has denied this, saying, of course, I'm not an anti-Semite. All right, well, we started on a heavy note today.

Speaker 2:
[11:26] I know.

Speaker 1:
[11:27] Yeah. You didn't cry.

Speaker 2:
[11:28] No.

Speaker 1:
[11:29] That's good.

Speaker 2:
[11:29] Let's not talk about Sky King again.

Speaker 1:
[11:31] Yes. I like the angry Sara.

Speaker 2:
[11:33] Angry Sara's in there too.

Speaker 1:
[11:35] All right. I'm going to change hot topics for a second. Okay. A federal appeals court is upholding a Texas law that required public schools to display posters of the Ten Commandments into classrooms. We almost did this on the show today. Maybe we will later this week. You've been open about being a fairly religious person.

Speaker 2:
[11:48] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[11:49] What do you think of this?

Speaker 2:
[11:50] No. I don't believe the Ten Commandments has any place in the school. A lot of that is because to me, my religion, my faith is so sacred that it belongs in like-minded communities where it can inspire you to live a certain way. It can be the message that you teach at home. But school, this is the church and the separation of church and state that really irks me. You always have to wonder what if it was someone else's faith or someone else's belief system and you didn't agree with it.

Speaker 1:
[12:22] Right.

Speaker 2:
[12:22] You always have to put yourself in other people's shoes. I think the scary part is right now, there's a lot of craziness in the world. We're looking at Iran and a lot of the dangers of that regime and things. There are places like this that run in extreme, and I want to clarify that, extreme theocracies. It's not just a different religion, it's an extreme version of that religion, of the extremists running the regime. You have to imagine just because you believe in the Ten Commandments and you look at that wall, swap it out. Do you want to live in a place that church informs how we legislate and how we do our politics?

Speaker 1:
[13:05] I don't. And it does seem like in this current administration, it does seem like there's an emphasis more on religious mentions, moments. Pete Hegseth in the military. Yeah, because you know what's hard to fight with?

Speaker 2:
[13:23] Saying God's behind me. When you fight with religion, it can be so scary. That's why we also look at ideologues, some of the danger of terrorist organizations, jihadists specifically, is they're doing that in the name of a God. That almost takes away... It's not a fair fight then, because if death is conceded as a martyrdom or an honor, how can you fight on that?

Speaker 1:
[13:51] Right.

Speaker 2:
[13:51] When you're making big political decisions in the US and saying, well, God's got my back, most clear-headed, clear-sighted people recognize the walk you walk in life is way more important than what you say, because that's really what Jesus in the New Testament was all about, is show me, don't tell me. So that's where it becomes theatrical to me, when you're quoting it out loud and you're not living it day-to-day. But it does give a power when people fight in the name of a God, a higher power. It's not something you can see, it's a faith-based spiritual life. Tim Alberta talked about it on the show when he said the Evangelicals, I'm forgetting the name of his book, but the Evangelicals had started to see Trump as a bit of a coming of Christ. When you start to view it through that lens, there's no winning. Because you've lost logic, you've lost reason, you've lost facts. So I think I don't like, especially with how religion is being used right now, I do not like it being pushed into the schools. I will take care of my kids' spiritual growth. My church and my church family will take care of my spiritual growth. When they go to school, I want them to soak in like sponges, the diversity of the world, the differences of the world. I don't want a thumb on the scale. I want it to be pure education, academics, no faith.

Speaker 1:
[15:15] The book title was The Kingdom, the Power and the Glory.

Speaker 2:
[15:17] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[15:18] It's interesting you're saying that. So, I mean, it is funny how we evolve past our parents as we get older, and or not past necessarily, but aside from our parents and things like that. What was that for you? Because you grew up in a traditional family, then was it college? When did your viewpoints start to open up, change and expand a little bit?

Speaker 2:
[15:38] So I probably was, I definitely think it started younger, because I remember like, my parents never outwardly said this is wrong, and this is right in a biblical way, but you kind of just understood it. We went to church every Sunday, we were in the choir, all that stuff. So I remember when I started going to elite sports camps, I would meet people who were gay, specifically women who were gay. But I remember not, my parents not saying it, but me kind of knowing what I was being, that I'd never asked someone out, but understanding in the church world that maybe that wasn't right. And I remember at like 13, I think I was seventh grade thinking, that doesn't track for me. What I feel in my heart and what I pray about and all the parts that I love about, something's not tracking here. So I remember starting to break, not openly with my parents, because I never had an outward conversation with them till years later when my brother came out. But so I was already starting to hone in on things that didn't make sense to me. College would be the big years. And that was almost because, oh my gosh, there are so many people that are different that when you shake it up and there's no homogeneity, which was Smith, you can't ride on the comfort of just the norms.

Speaker 1:
[17:00] No, I feel the same way. I mean, it's important to me. And my oldest daughter is 14 now. And we're starting to talk about, oh wow, she's gonna be going to college in a couple of years. And I would like her to go somewhere outside of New York. I just think it's good to experience a different place with different people that aren't necessarily the people you're surrounded with growing up. It was huge for me. It was so important for me. And I just went to Pennsylvania.

Speaker 2:
[17:25] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[17:26] But I think that it's important to just step out of what you know and expand a little bit. And it really, it changed a lot for me. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[17:34] I think that college is primed to do that.

Speaker 1:
[17:37] Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 2:
[17:38] Which is why I wanna keep universities and colleges really open minded.

Speaker 1:
[17:42] I do too.

Speaker 2:
[17:43] About like, that's where conversation should happen. That's where people should feel a little uncomfortable. Not because they're being treated differently, but because they're being asked questions and having to think about things that they didn't before.

Speaker 1:
[17:55] Absolutely. All right, we're gonna go a little lighter now. We talked about this trend of maxing on the show today. And those pushing back on it saying that you don't always have to do 100%. When it comes to parenting, you often like kind of live by the rule, good enough.

Speaker 2:
[18:08] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[18:09] Explain what you mean by that.

Speaker 2:
[18:11] So I'm quoting a famous written work called The Good Enough Mother. And when I first became a parent, my brother actually shared it with me. And I think I was probably in the throes of my postpartum depression. But I remember crying about feeling overwhelmed. And my brother said, have you ever seen this? And he like sent it to me. And this theme of good enough goes way beyond parenting. The I think it was an essay. The essay kind of made me think of how many ways I needed to embrace good enough. Because I'm a perfectionist, that's no secret. But I also am diagnosed with OCD. And it's a perfectionism OCD.

Speaker 1:
[18:51] When were you diagnosed?

Speaker 2:
[18:52] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[18:52] Oh, wow.

Speaker 2:
[18:53] I was diagnosed. And I found that out, actually, after I had Alec. Because I thought, this is flaring, this uncontrollable compulsive thoughts are flaring in a way I can't control it. And that's when I was diagnosed. Although you can trace it back. I think her assessment came from many questions from many years of behaviors and habits. But the perfectionism is a beast. And OCD, anxiety, things, obviously, they flare up when you're over tired, when you're over stressed, big transitions in your life. There are still days where I go to put something away and I'm lining labels and doing, and I'm feeling this if I don't do, if I, and I have to say out loud, it was good enough. And I have to walk away. Because whether it's parenting, whether it's anywhere you're overshooting, it was often good enough. We're getting lost in compulsive thought cycles. And so I love this half-assing because as a rehabilitated perfectionist, I do believe in life, there are so many things that we are doing good enough, and you can't let perfection be the enemy of the good.

Speaker 1:
[20:02] I like that a lot too. And half-assing has really been-

Speaker 2:
[20:05] It's perfect. Perfect can't be the enemy of the good. Yeah, perfect can't be the enemy of the good.

Speaker 1:
[20:08] That's true. All right, speaking of perfect, Charlize Theron was on the show today.

Speaker 2:
[20:12] Oh, she's beautiful.

Speaker 1:
[20:13] Yeah, she's pretty perfect. She was talking about doing all these crazy stunts in her movies, and if she's a thrill seeker in her personal life is what you talked to her about. And it kind of made me think of you. Are you a thrill seeker?

Speaker 2:
[20:24] No, that's why I wanted to ask her that, though, because-

Speaker 1:
[20:27] I feel like you're daring.

Speaker 2:
[20:28] I'm daring, but you know what it is. So, okay, I'm a color inside the lines girl. If you heard the segment we had before, this was about perfection. I followed rules. I wasn't dangerous. I didn't need a rush of adrenaline. Like a roller coaster was about as far as I went. As my job unfolded over the years, opportunities arose and it was, you know, Sara's gonna jump out of a plane.

Speaker 1:
[20:53] Right, I've seen stuff like that.

Speaker 2:
[20:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[20:54] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[20:55] And I always said it was this opportunity one that purely my job brought me, which is why I wanted Charlize Theron to answer, is the thrill the work of your job or is it you? One thing I realized is there was a point after I had watched someone go through breast cancer treatment that I was gonna be jumping off a platform in New Zealand, bungee jumping. And I thought in life, fear is gonna show up in so many ways that are legitimate, like the fear of losing someone. We know we're gonna lose people we love. It's gonna happen. You can't beat that fear. It's gonna come. But the fear of bungee jumping, in a few seconds, I could figure out I just overcame that fear. I could end up on the other side of that fear. It was this idea of beating fear at its own game that became almost a rush for me. When you're in the plane, you can let the fear beat you or you can jump and land safely and say, Oh my gosh, I just beat it.

Speaker 1:
[21:56] You have jumped out of a plane.

Speaker 2:
[21:57] Yes. I've skydived.

Speaker 1:
[21:59] I don't think I could do it.

Speaker 2:
[22:01] Okay, so I'm not encouraging people, but it's funny now when I think of, I think I could do it again, but I also recognize that there's not a switch that necessarily goes on when you become a parent. And there are moments where, like when you asked about, you've asked out of curiosity if any of us would go to space.

Speaker 1:
[22:17] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[22:17] And I've-

Speaker 1:
[22:18] Not just out of curiosity, I was working on a plan.

Speaker 2:
[22:20] Sorry, you were working on a plan. But I remember asking Max, and I had no desire really to go to space. But then when Max worded it, like, the risks, it took like two seconds to catch up with him. I was like, oh shoot, I would never want to do something irresponsible at this point in my life with kids. So you almost have to take that out of the equation.

Speaker 1:
[22:41] When I was working on this plan, because I mean, people at ABC have gone into space. Michael Strahan went into space and it's not the moon, but it's orbit and space. And I was wondering about it, and then I was thinking like one of the hosts did it, maybe I'd have to go too to be a producer.

Speaker 2:
[22:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[22:56] And I talked to my wife and daughters about it, and they both, they did not like the idea at all. But I think I'd really want to do it. I think that's something I couldn't say no to, even though I'd probably be sick the entire time and miserable.

Speaker 2:
[23:06] I think you couldn't say no. I do see this about you because the opportunity, the rush, the story for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1:
[23:13] Story for the rest of my life is a big part of how I make decisions.

Speaker 2:
[23:15] Yeah, that's a big, I feel like you'd probably have a t-shirt or a pin that you wear letting people know in case they didn't ask that you had landed in space.

Speaker 1:
[23:21] Do the podcast from space.

Speaker 2:
[23:22] It would, for sure.

Speaker 1:
[23:24] I could get a spacey.

Speaker 2:
[23:25] I think I am not as tempted to do that.

Speaker 1:
[23:30] For personal glory.

Speaker 2:
[23:32] I am not as tempted by the personal glory of the space mission. But I would continue to do fun things where I've assessed that they're relatively safe, other than stupid. I would never free climb like Charlize Theron did in this movie.

Speaker 1:
[23:47] That's incredible.

Speaker 2:
[23:47] When you see this movie, by the way, I love a thriller. I love a horror film. This is a good one.

Speaker 1:
[23:53] That's really good.

Speaker 2:
[23:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[23:54] All right. I found this on threads the other day and it made me think of you guys. Let's see how you could do. This woman wrote a relationship thing. I've been talking to this man for months after he put gas in my car. That's literally how we met. We really hit it off and we've got a date tomorrow and everything is so exciting and cool except for one small detail. He told me his name already. I forgot it. He's been saved as gas in my phone this entire time. Now I need help. What's the smoothest way to figure out a man's name without straight up asking him again? I thought you'd be good at this. Pretend I'm the guy. We're on the date. You don't know my name. How would you figure it out?

Speaker 2:
[24:31] I would literally tell you exactly how I have you in the phone.

Speaker 1:
[24:33] Oh, really?

Speaker 2:
[24:34] I would say.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] I spent a lot of time thinking about this and how I would do it.

Speaker 2:
[24:40] I would not. Okay, so this might not be a great example because I think it's a great way to start a date with the most authentic thing, which is you're gonna like, I don't know what you're gonna think of me on this, but I've been telling, I was excited to see you again. I've told all my friends.

Speaker 1:
[24:58] That's sweet and sincere. That would work, I guess.

Speaker 2:
[25:00] Well, I would say, I've been told all my friends about it. I'm so excited. You're gonna die when I tell you this next part, so please don't judge me. I forgot your name even though you told me, so you're in my phone as gas.

Speaker 1:
[25:12] See, I would try to be slick. I would do like the, don't you hate it when people misspell your name? I'm Brian with an I, and why is Y more popular? You have the Sara with an H thing. I would try something like that. Or what's the weirdest way people mispronounce your name?

Speaker 2:
[25:27] No, so I don't do it with a D, because a D, it's almost like this is a person-

Speaker 1:
[25:31] You're starting in a bad place?

Speaker 2:
[25:32] Well, not that you're starting in a bad place, but this is a place where that story, if it happened to me, is very much me.

Speaker 1:
[25:39] Yeah, it is you.

Speaker 2:
[25:39] So what you're gonna like if I try to be smooth is not really me. And so what a great way to- And also it shows me if you have a sense of humor. So judging you by how you handle my story, whether it makes you laugh, whether- I have a feeling it's gonna be a really charming, like, meet-cute of like how it happened. What I have done is with people that I don't remember, like I should know their last name, like other parents, I'll say, remind me how you spell your last name. I don't know their last name.

Speaker 1:
[26:13] S-M-A-I-T-H. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[26:17] Or if they do that, and you're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I've been asking that all night. You know, like I accidentally asked, you know.

Speaker 1:
[26:23] You can roll with it.

Speaker 2:
[26:23] You can roll with it.

Speaker 1:
[26:24] You can be slick.

Speaker 2:
[26:25] I can be slick, and being slick matters more when I'm like, I don't want this person to be offended that I literally just have these complete blind spots of names.

Speaker 1:
[26:34] I agree with you, you need to be authentic early on in a relationship. When I was dating Heather, I may have told this story since I'm out of stories on the podcast at this point, I'm turning into Joy.

Speaker 2:
[26:42] Now that you're at the Webby place.

Speaker 1:
[26:43] Now I've got like five stories like Joy and I just keep recycling them. But this one, on one of our very early dates, we went to Six Flags. And it was when they had, I don't know if they still have it, they had like an outdoor safari. And so I wanted to impress Heather, we lived in the city, and I rented a car that was a little outside of my price range at the time, I got like a fancy car.

Speaker 2:
[27:02] Also tracks, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:03] And so we go to the safari and the animals are outside and we're watching the animals, and it comes up to a point where there's like a split in the road and one side is the monkey road and one side is the straight ahead road and no monkeys. And it says something about warning you if, you know, the monkeys can cause damage to the car. Wasn't a convertible, but instead I went on the monkey road. I'm like, you know what, let's do the monkey road. I was being like, I was like making it look like we weren't going, we're doing the monkey road. I get onto the monkey road, they swarm on you. They jumped on front of the car. One of them ripped the windshield wiper off the front of the car. Heather rolls down the window, takes out her purse and starts trying to smack at the monkey to make the monkey go away. Then another one climbs over. It was like a Jurassic Park. It was insane. Climbed over to the side view mirror, ripped under the mirror and ripped the mirror off the car.

Speaker 2:
[27:56] How much did you pay to do this?

Speaker 1:
[27:58] I claimed later to the insurance company that it was rowdy teens, so I got away with it.

Speaker 2:
[28:04] It could have been sophomoric monkeys. Brian.

Speaker 1:
[28:08] It was horrible. It was horrible, but a great story we told forever. I think I told this story at my wedding toast.

Speaker 2:
[28:13] Wait, and did she know you had rented the car?

Speaker 1:
[28:16] I eventually admitted everything and I think gave her the full view of who she was dating. So anyway, yeah. That being said, it was a great day at Six Flags. I'm not sure how it is for the monkeys.

Speaker 2:
[28:28] No, and I understand the kind of, I think I've just learned that I can't succeed at overshooting or sending in a representative. I don't know how to do that smoothly either. So authentic is all I have.

Speaker 1:
[28:39] Yeah, fair enough. I can't keep it going fake for very long either.

Speaker 2:
[28:42] No, but you do it well. At least you take a bold step. If I did that, I have done this where I try to be sexy and I bump my head on the top of the car. Or I tried to do this Baywatch surfing thing in a segment, and every time I went to duck my head, I was hitting myself with a surfboard or skinny. I started bleeding. If I tried to be something, no, it's not. It really isn't. It sounds good in a movie, but it wasn't a movie. It was my life. So this is all I have is to just tell the truth.

Speaker 1:
[29:09] Yeah. I'm a klutz and it's just who I am. It's fine.

Speaker 2:
[29:12] I've never seen you be klutzy.

Speaker 1:
[29:13] No, I'm pretty klutzy. Tune into tomorrow's podcast. I'll tell you that story.

Speaker 2:
[29:16] Wait, I did hear about it.

Speaker 1:
[29:18] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[29:18] I can't wait to listen. I will not tell anything.

Speaker 1:
[29:21] The other story of me being a klutz, my family loves, they were helping me move into my first apartment in New York and I was being pretty useless putting things together.

Speaker 2:
[29:30] Also track.

Speaker 1:
[29:31] My father sent me to go get a pizza. I went down the street, got a pizza, while they were putting stuff together. I was coming back, I tripped on the sidewalk. The pizza miraculously just flew forward and it wasn't that bad. You put it back in the box. I didn't even come out of the box, so it was great. I picked up the box, I went upstairs. Everyone's done working and ready for some pizza, and they picked up the pizza and all the cheese was gone because it had floated forward. I had to admit that that's what happened.

Speaker 2:
[29:58] I'm surprised you even admitted it then. I could see you lying like, this pizza place is crap.

Speaker 1:
[30:02] Yeah, I should have gone for that next time. All right. That's all the time we have for today. Thank you, Sara. This podcast was good enough.

Speaker 2:
[30:09] It was good enough, right?

Speaker 1:
[30:10] It was good enough.

Speaker 2:
[30:11] That's all we're aiming for.

Speaker 1:
[30:12] There you go. Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[30:13] Half-assers everywhere.

Speaker 1:
[30:14] Exactly. Tomorrow, I'll be back with Anna Navarro. Stay tuned for another humiliating Brian story and we'll see you then.