transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] You're listening to Wednesday's episode of The Archers from BBC Radio 4.

Speaker 2:
[00:22] So you're back at the tearoom this afternoon, Chelsea?

Speaker 3:
[00:24] Nah, now I'm done for the day.

Speaker 2:
[00:25] Oh, good.

Speaker 4:
[00:27] I'm off to Borchester to do hair and makeup for that wedding I told you about.

Speaker 2:
[00:30] You need to give yourself a break.

Speaker 4:
[00:32] Not if I'm going to afford the chair I want for my mobile salon. Oh, all right, right. Hi. Good to see you walking in a straight line.

Speaker 2:
[00:40] You didn't see him after you left the pub on Sunday, Alice.

Speaker 4:
[00:43] Stumbling all over the place he was. Hey, bet you suffered for it the next morning.

Speaker 5:
[00:48] Just a little, yeah. You okay, Alice?

Speaker 2:
[00:50] Yes, fine.

Speaker 4:
[00:52] Well, I best crack on in a bit later.

Speaker 2:
[00:55] Bye, Chelsea. Bye.

Speaker 5:
[00:57] So you're definitely okay with it?

Speaker 2:
[00:59] I just said.

Speaker 4:
[01:01] You?

Speaker 5:
[01:03] I'm okay too. Me and Kirsty did our routine walk around the rewilding this morning, surveying the butterflies.

Speaker 2:
[01:11] Right.

Speaker 5:
[01:11] Numbers are really encouraging. We spotted six small tortoiseshells, four orange tips, seven brimstones, and 13 peacocks.

Speaker 2:
[01:20] Oh, amazing.

Speaker 5:
[01:21] Of course it helped that it's sunny. There were quite a few queen bumblebees looking for places to nest too.

Speaker 2:
[01:26] Oh, that's great, Rex.

Speaker 4:
[01:27] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[01:29] Oh, and I think I spotted some signs of dormouse activity. They gnaw at the honeysuckle, you know, and I found a little patch where the bark had just been delicately stripped away.

Speaker 4:
[01:40] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[01:40] Yeah. It's the time of year that dormice are moving out their nests on the ground and up into the trees, and they use the bark to line their nests. Yeah. The survey from the Wildlife Trust is coming over next month to help check the boxes. Fingers crossed we have another bumper breeding season like we did last year.

Speaker 2:
[01:57] Yeah. Let's hope.

Speaker 5:
[01:59] Well, Kirsty seemed a bit distracted, to be honest.

Speaker 2:
[02:02] Why? Do you think something's the matter?

Speaker 5:
[02:05] I don't know. I mean, when I asked, she insisted she was fine, but then I'm not always brilliant at reading people.

Speaker 2:
[02:12] Look, I've got a lot on my mind. I need to get back to the stables.

Speaker 5:
[02:16] Alice, Alice, wait. I know I've said it a million times already, but I am so, so sorry. It's bad enough I turned up drunk at yours. You shouldn't have to listen to Chelsea making light of it.

Speaker 2:
[02:26] Right.

Speaker 5:
[02:27] I swear I'll never get drunk like that again.

Speaker 2:
[02:29] It's fine. I told you. You don't need to go on.

Speaker 5:
[02:33] Let me cook you dinner tonight.

Speaker 2:
[02:36] What?

Speaker 5:
[02:36] Come over to the boat.

Speaker 2:
[02:39] Well, that would be lovely, Rex, but what about Martha?

Speaker 5:
[02:42] Oh, can't someone have her for the evening? Please, Alice, look, I promise we won't talk about what happened. I just want to make it up to you.

Speaker 4:
[02:54] Now, my first wedding, that was a full shebang white merengue dress, vintage rolls to take me to the church.

Speaker 2:
[03:00] Oh, erm, just tilt your head up for me, Soph.

Speaker 4:
[03:03] It just goes to show, don't it? You can spend as much money as you like. Ain't no guarantee it's going to last. This time round, we're driving ourselves to the register office, and then it's down the social club for a buffy and a boogie.

Speaker 1:
[03:15] Oh, sounds perfect.

Speaker 4:
[03:16] Mind you, the DJ still cost me 500 pounds. And Mr. D, that's what I call my fiancee, he ain't got a pot to you, know what? He works as a courier, you know, delivering parcels.

Speaker 1:
[03:28] Oh, yeah, right.

Speaker 4:
[03:29] But that's only recent. When I first met him, he hadn't worked for years.

Speaker 2:
[03:33] So what, are you paying for everything then?

Speaker 4:
[03:35] My kids have helped out a bit, bless them, but yeah. I've paid for most of it myself. It's only money, though. Being happy is the important thing. So where was it that you met Mr. D then? On a hen night.

Speaker 2:
[03:51] What?

Speaker 4:
[03:52] No, you're joking. He was sat on his own in this bar we had a few jokes, but I can't say he made much of an impression. But then, at the end of the night, we saw him again walking home, he stuck his thumb out and asked if we'd give him a lifted in my foot. I thought, take some nerve to ask a gaggle of middle-aged hens that.

Speaker 2:
[04:13] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[04:14] We gave him a lift home and it went from there. Wow. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1:
[04:18] Keep still just for a sec, so I can...

Speaker 4:
[04:20] To be honest, he's a useless beggar. But I know he loves me, he's kind and soft-hearted, and he ain't too shabby in bed neither. So not completely useless then? No. He has his talents. Oh, I think that's him now.

Speaker 3:
[04:34] Soph! Soph, where are you? You upstairs?

Speaker 4:
[04:39] No, in the kitchen.

Speaker 3:
[04:40] Oh, am I okay to come in?

Speaker 4:
[04:42] Of course you are. Here he is, Mr. D. Short for Dennis.

Speaker 3:
[04:47] How's everything going? Chelsea?

Speaker 4:
[04:50] What? You know each other? Dad?

Speaker 2:
[04:57] I'm still not sure what it was exactly Dad had done. Adam was furious though. Right. Aunty Lillian keeps telling me I shouldn't worry, but I don't know, something's not right. No. I spotted a removal lorry outside home farm earlier. Miranda must be moving in. Dad still hasn't really explained what happened there.

Speaker 5:
[05:16] Yeah, it does seem strange.

Speaker 2:
[05:17] Oh, look, I'm sorry Chris, I'll leave you to it. I can see you're busy.

Speaker 5:
[05:20] No, no, no, no, no. Let me just finish cleaning this bit.

Speaker 2:
[05:23] No, it's fine, honestly. Look, thanks for agreeing to have Martha this evening.

Speaker 5:
[05:26] Wait, Alice, Alice, hold on.

Speaker 1:
[05:29] Do you mind if I ask you a question?

Speaker 2:
[05:31] Sure, yeah, what do you want to ask?

Speaker 5:
[05:34] When you, when you started drinking, I mean, when it became a problem, do you think I enabled you?

Speaker 4:
[05:47] What? He didn't mention me at all?

Speaker 2:
[05:50] Nope.

Speaker 3:
[05:51] Now listen...

Speaker 4:
[05:52] Why wouldn't you tell her you were getting hitched?

Speaker 3:
[05:54] It didn't come up. Look, me and Chelsea hadn't planned to bump into each other. We just happened to both be in the same pub, seeing in New Year.

Speaker 4:
[06:01] You told me you never saw your kids. You said they live miles away. We're only an ambridge.

Speaker 3:
[06:06] That is miles away. Ten miles.

Speaker 4:
[06:09] I've been sat here telling your daughter what a sweet, kind, funny man you are. Makes me wonder who I'm marrying.

Speaker 3:
[06:15] Well, don't say that, Soph. I just weren't thinking straight. Do you know what I'm like?

Speaker 4:
[06:19] I do. That's the problem. Chelsea, I am sorry, hon. You must have thought someone was pulling a prank on you when this one walked in. We're a shock. Are you all right to carry on? Carry on? With my hair?

Speaker 3:
[06:32] What? So we're still getting married?

Speaker 4:
[06:34] Of course we are, you daft apes. I've spent too much on this wedding for you to mess it up now. Didn't I tell you it was a waste of space? I didn't mean any offence. You're right. Well, what are you standing around for then? The clock's ticking.

Speaker 3:
[06:48] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Speaker 2:
[06:53] Seriously, Chris, I'd never say something like that to Rex. I've never even thought it.

Speaker 5:
[06:58] To be fair to him, I don't think he meant it to sound that way. It just got me thinking, though. Maybe if I hadn't been such a big drinker...

Speaker 2:
[07:05] Chris, you have a few pints with your mates at the weekend.

Speaker 5:
[07:09] More than a few sometimes.

Speaker 2:
[07:10] But it's still not the same.

Speaker 1:
[07:11] But if it meant you could do it without me realizing there was a problem...

Speaker 2:
[07:14] I'm not that kind of alcoholic. Yes, we'd drink together, but apart from when we started going out, you and me, we didn't get off our faces. In fact, once I realized I had a serious problem with drink, I did everything I could to keep it a secret from you. Surely all the bottles you found hidden around the house told you that. It didn't enable me, Chris. I did it myself.

Speaker 5:
[07:39] All right, if you say so.

Speaker 2:
[07:41] It's not about what I say. It's the truth.

Speaker 5:
[07:44] Okay, fine. Don't be angry with Rex, though. He didn't think he was saying anything wrong.

Speaker 2:
[07:49] No.

Speaker 5:
[07:50] No, and I shouldn't have been so sensitive.

Speaker 2:
[07:52] So what did he think he was saying, then?

Speaker 3:
[07:57] You're all done.

Speaker 4:
[07:59] Oh, hi, Dad.

Speaker 3:
[08:02] Yeah. What's the matter? My tie's not straight.

Speaker 4:
[08:08] No, it's just, um, you look smart.

Speaker 3:
[08:16] Soph picked it for me. It's only a rental. Listen, Chelsea, I am properly sorry for not telling you. I guess I just figured you wouldn't be interested.

Speaker 4:
[08:30] Yeah, why would I be?

Speaker 3:
[08:30] It's only my dad getting married. No, I didn't mean it like that. Yes, I just meant I don't expect you to be. I ain't been a part of your life. Why should you be interested in mine?

Speaker 4:
[08:40] Yeah, you still could have let me know, especially after New Year.

Speaker 3:
[08:44] And I did think about it. Seeing you that night, Chelsea, you don't know what it meant to me. Hearing how well you and your brother are doing, all the things you're up to, I just didn't want to push me luck. But then that's me all over. I've always been a coward.

Speaker 2:
[09:01] Well, Soph seems great.

Speaker 3:
[09:03] Yeah, she's my angel. And her kids, Ryan and Ashley, they're great too. If I were them and I'd walked into their mother's life, I don't reckon I'd have been too happy about it. But instead, they've welcomed me with open arms. I've got a whole new family. Lucky you. And I'd like you to be part of it too. You and Brad. I mean, technically, Soph's going to be your step mum. Yeah, I guess. It's up to you though. I know it's a lot to get your head round.

Speaker 4:
[09:32] Ta-da! Here I am.

Speaker 3:
[09:35] Oh, Soph. Soph, you look stunning.

Speaker 4:
[09:40] Do I?

Speaker 3:
[09:41] Are you kidding? You're an absolute knockout.

Speaker 4:
[09:45] Well, a lot of it's thanks to Chelsea. You've got a very talented daughter, even if you are a giant plonker. He is, isn't he?

Speaker 2:
[09:53] He is a total plonker.

Speaker 3:
[09:56] I know, I know.

Speaker 4:
[09:57] But, yeah, you do look amazing, so... Now, have you emptied the car?

Speaker 3:
[10:03] Yes, I've emptied it.

Speaker 4:
[10:05] Right, well, I'll head off, then. No, you won't. You're coming to the wedding. Hasn't he asked you?

Speaker 3:
[10:12] I was just getting to it. Come to the wedding, Chelsea, please. I'd love you to see us tie the knot.

Speaker 4:
[10:21] I'm not sure I should. You have to come. Just the fact I asked you to do my hair. That's got to be the universe telling you this was meant to happen.

Speaker 3:
[10:30] Well, I suppose I can't say no to the universe. That's my girl.

Speaker 5:
[10:41] Oh, please sit down.

Speaker 4:
[10:43] Rex.

Speaker 5:
[10:43] Make yourself comfortable. What would you like to drink? There's elderflower presse in the fridge.

Speaker 2:
[10:49] That sounds lovely.

Speaker 5:
[10:50] No problem. Let me just light this candle first.

Speaker 2:
[10:56] Rex, did you tell Chris he enabled my drinking?

Speaker 5:
[11:01] I'm sorry?

Speaker 2:
[11:02] When you were in the pub on Sunday. He says you implied it was his fault for enjoying a drink sometimes.

Speaker 5:
[11:09] Did I?

Speaker 2:
[11:10] That's what I'm asking you.

Speaker 5:
[11:12] I don't remember.

Speaker 2:
[11:13] Because you do know that's rubbish. I didn't need Chris' help to start drinking. In fact, without Chris, I might never have stopped.

Speaker 5:
[11:21] Alice, I don't recall exactly, but I would never have accused him of something like that.

Speaker 2:
[11:26] Well, he's been brooding on it ever since. Rex, I thought you understood about my drinking. It's one of the things I've appreciated most about our relationship. I don't have to explain my issues all the time. You know, everything I've had to overcome. And now I find out you've been discussing it behind my back.

Speaker 5:
[11:49] It wasn't behind your back. I was just trying to reassure Chris. I wanted him to know I'd look after you.

Speaker 2:
[11:55] Look after me?

Speaker 5:
[11:56] Oh, I don't mean look after...

Speaker 2:
[11:58] Rex, look, if I fall off the wagon again, it won't be because of something you've done. Just like I didn't become an alcoholic because of Chris. Trust me, I've had enough therapy to know the reasons I drink. Staying sober is down to me.

Speaker 5:
[12:13] All right, OK. Oh, no, the cutlets! Oh!

Speaker 2:
[12:19] Oh, don't worry, I think you've saved them.

Speaker 5:
[12:23] I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:
[12:25] Honestly, it's fine.

Speaker 5:
[12:27] I mean, for being overly protective, I didn't mean to be patronising. I just want to be there for you.

Speaker 2:
[12:32] I know. That's all I need. I also need you to be more careful what you say around Chris. Enough apologising to me. He deserves an apology too.