transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:18] No, we're not recycling this.

Speaker 2:
[00:20] Start with a song, not against it.

Speaker 3:
[00:23] I feel like your song should have more black keys in it.

Speaker 4:
[00:26] Oh.

Speaker 1:
[00:27] You keep making this joke. You love stealing my joke.

Speaker 3:
[00:30] And cause he had to...

Speaker 1:
[00:33] Boom.

Speaker 3:
[00:33] What about, ba ba ba ba bow bow bow bow bow bow bow.

Speaker 4:
[00:39] It's like a chief key for it.

Speaker 1:
[00:42] you think, bro.

Speaker 4:
[00:43] I'll upglock anywhere.

Speaker 5:
[00:46] you think, bro. Come back to America.

Speaker 1:
[00:47] My shooter is from Shanghai.

Speaker 5:
[00:49] Watch out.

Speaker 3:
[00:51] His bullets sound crazy Chinese.

Speaker 1:
[00:53] My shooter is a shwiga.

Speaker 4:
[00:54] you.

Speaker 3:
[00:55] Every bullet has shwiga or mania.

Speaker 4:
[00:58] My shooter is Canto Mies. I really had to cram that in there.

Speaker 3:
[01:09] That's the luggage.

Speaker 1:
[01:10] Shirts and jeans popping out.

Speaker 4:
[01:13] I like the hat, though. The hat feels powerful.

Speaker 3:
[01:15] You know, it's where we sold it.

Speaker 4:
[01:17] You sold this?

Speaker 3:
[01:18] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[01:19] That's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1:
[01:19] Wait, you're sending that exact one out?

Speaker 3:
[01:21] That exact one.

Speaker 1:
[01:21] How much did you sell it for? What you sold?

Speaker 3:
[01:23] It was raffled off. It raised...

Speaker 5:
[01:27] Wait, like we...

Speaker 3:
[01:28] Maybe...

Speaker 4:
[01:28] Oh, you sold this one?

Speaker 3:
[01:30] $1,500 to $2,000.

Speaker 4:
[01:30] I thought you meant like this exact model of how you're making his merch.

Speaker 3:
[01:33] That's one right there.

Speaker 1:
[01:34] Wow.

Speaker 5:
[01:34] We have to send that hat away?

Speaker 4:
[01:35] So if I rub it on my nuts, whoever wears it has to wear my nuts now.

Speaker 1:
[01:39] All right. So if you put it upside down, it's like a bowl.

Speaker 4:
[01:43] It's this exact one.

Speaker 3:
[01:44] It's that exact one.

Speaker 4:
[01:45] So if I like...

Speaker 3:
[01:47] And just to be clear...

Speaker 5:
[01:48] Let's poop it in the hat.

Speaker 3:
[01:50] It was won by...

Speaker 4:
[01:51] I got nothing.

Speaker 3:
[01:51] It was won by a... from raffle from someone who probably hates you too.

Speaker 5:
[01:55] It's actually...

Speaker 1:
[02:00] He was, dude, earlier, he was saying, it's the chair. It's not me. It's the chair. The chair is old. You deserve that. That's so funny.

Speaker 5:
[02:10] Oh my god.

Speaker 1:
[02:11] What are you gonna do with the rest of the episode? Oh my god, dude.

Speaker 4:
[02:13] You...

Speaker 5:
[02:15] You're a joke.

Speaker 3:
[02:16] Aren't you gonna have a gun in my hand?

Speaker 1:
[02:20] Oh, we have an extra one? Like Zipper's got you, bro.

Speaker 5:
[02:23] We need an extra chair, man.

Speaker 2:
[02:25] I'm gonna crawl.

Speaker 3:
[02:27] Wow.

Speaker 5:
[02:28] This is embarrassing, man. Don't crawl with your gun.

Speaker 3:
[02:31] Dude, you smacked the metal.

Speaker 5:
[02:31] Don't crawl with your gun like a little...

Speaker 1:
[02:36] He looks like it got put through it.

Speaker 4:
[02:38] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[02:39] For those listening...

Speaker 1:
[02:40] It looks like WrestleMania threw it.

Speaker 4:
[02:41] It really broke off, dude.

Speaker 5:
[02:42] If you're listening at home, Nick's chair has just broken underneath him. It is in maybe four pieces. I'm actually surprised.

Speaker 4:
[02:51] I don't know if we can fix it this time.

Speaker 1:
[02:54] We need to reinforce it. I think we've done these shitty weld jobs. We need to like titanium braces.

Speaker 3:
[02:59] I can get Michael in here. He'll fix it, bro.

Speaker 4:
[03:01] This makes me sad.

Speaker 1:
[03:02] Michael would make it so that it cut Nick's balls off, which would be a good thing.

Speaker 3:
[03:06] This must not be weird for you, right, Aiden? It probably happens every week on Lemonade San.

Speaker 1:
[03:13] Dude, they have like 60 chairs just waiting.

Speaker 3:
[03:17] Perry's just back there with two chairs, and he just hears the noise. He goes, coming.

Speaker 1:
[03:23] Do you guys remember the story about the Smasher that this happened to?

Speaker 3:
[03:29] Who broke a chair?

Speaker 1:
[03:29] Yeah, I'll say it's an unnamed smash player.

Speaker 3:
[03:32] Say it for me.

Speaker 1:
[03:33] Unnamed melee player.

Speaker 3:
[03:34] Say it for me.

Speaker 1:
[03:35] I think. So back in the day, back in the day, it was a SoCal local and a smash player sits down on this chair. He's a very heavy set man, and it shatters underneath him. Tough. Happens.

Speaker 3:
[03:52] Shatters like dropping a Jade pendant.

Speaker 1:
[03:54] Happens, bro. Yeah, it happens. So Dave Keira Kim, he goes, no big deal, bro. Let me get you another chair. Brings him the next chair, he sits down, shatters it.

Speaker 4:
[04:06] I do know this story.

Speaker 1:
[04:07] In a row.

Speaker 3:
[04:07] Dude.

Speaker 5:
[04:09] Oh, this is at Coliseum.

Speaker 1:
[04:11] It wasn't there at Coliseum, it was old school shit. Old school shit.

Speaker 3:
[04:14] Just having like five almost broken chairs, so that when one breaks, the zipper goes here, and they keep breaking.

Speaker 1:
[04:21] This is what's happening to Atrioc on the Lemonade stand.

Speaker 5:
[04:23] On the Lemonade stand, it is this, except that it's a Herman Miller every time.

Speaker 1:
[04:28] $1,500 down the drain.

Speaker 5:
[04:29] We bring out a new $1,500 Herman Miller.

Speaker 3:
[04:31] It's not $1,500, because they're going to struggling businesses, and they're haggling on it.

Speaker 5:
[04:35] I broke a third chair.

Speaker 1:
[04:37] Oh my God, bro, get over it. You're fat. Third wall.

Speaker 5:
[04:39] You're a freaking whale. You're huge.

Speaker 1:
[04:41] You eat chocolate all day. We see you eat chocolate.

Speaker 5:
[04:44] Chocolate for breakfast.

Speaker 3:
[04:44] Did you eat chocolate all day?

Speaker 5:
[04:45] Breakfast, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[04:46] You're back on Shiggy's.

Speaker 5:
[04:47] Breakfast.

Speaker 3:
[04:48] You were a no Shiggy gal, and then I came with a cookie.

Speaker 5:
[04:51] And you got sick from Chipotle last week.

Speaker 1:
[04:53] You sucked that cookie up like a vacuum for Brave Little Toast.

Speaker 5:
[04:56] It was embarrassing.

Speaker 3:
[04:58] Aiden's not on my side.

Speaker 4:
[04:59] What happened to him?

Speaker 5:
[05:00] It was embarrassing.

Speaker 4:
[05:00] Take the blanket off. You've turned the dark side on me.

Speaker 3:
[05:04] That's so funny. You already got a photo.

Speaker 1:
[05:07] Took a picture of it and then uploaded what happened to this.

Speaker 3:
[05:10] There was four different failure points, which is funny.

Speaker 1:
[05:13] Imagine if beetles came out of it. Cool.

Speaker 4:
[05:17] I'm going to go get it welded again.

Speaker 3:
[05:18] Do you like that chair?

Speaker 4:
[05:19] I love it.

Speaker 3:
[05:20] That chair's ass.

Speaker 4:
[05:21] No, since we welded it the first time, it got so uncomfortable because what they did was the plastic thing, the back ones are tight because that's where they fixed it. And the front ones had the give that the chair's supposed to have. So it's like two levels of sitting now. I've just dealt with it. I like the chairs a bunch. Because you love this chair. You like that? Yeah, you have the best chair.

Speaker 1:
[05:41] Oh, really?

Speaker 4:
[05:42] For me, I like your chair the most. You have the most comfy chair, but a rocking, I had never seen one of those vintage until I saw his.

Speaker 3:
[05:49] It's very nice.

Speaker 1:
[05:50] I straight up have the best chair and it all happened dead ass. We walked, we climbed up to the set that first day at fateful day in June or whatever, 2021. I said, first episode of The Yard podcast. And Nick looked at him, he's like, that seat's for you.

Speaker 4:
[06:04] Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I saw it and I said, that's the slime seat.

Speaker 1:
[06:07] And the thing is, I would have taken it no matter what anybody said.

Speaker 3:
[06:11] It's funny that he did a nice thing and you're not giving him the nice thing.

Speaker 4:
[06:16] It's funny that you brought me a cookie to use it against me five minutes later.

Speaker 5:
[06:19] But you gobbled it up.

Speaker 3:
[06:20] It was just straight down.

Speaker 4:
[06:21] I ate it like a normal, I was like one bite at a time. It probably took six minutes.

Speaker 3:
[06:24] One bite at a time and it was one bite.

Speaker 4:
[06:26] One bite a time.

Speaker 1:
[06:28] You ate it, you started sobbing.

Speaker 5:
[06:30] It was crazy.

Speaker 4:
[06:31] You were so overwhelmed.

Speaker 1:
[06:32] And then you immediately.

Speaker 5:
[06:32] You can't stop. You broke your chair. It was so addictive.

Speaker 3:
[06:36] Since when you've been back on Shuggy?

Speaker 5:
[06:38] I just ate a cookie.

Speaker 4:
[06:39] What is the evidence?

Speaker 3:
[06:40] I heard you ate chocolate today. Is that a lie?

Speaker 4:
[06:42] He's just saying that.

Speaker 3:
[06:43] You ate chocolate for breakfast. He just said that.

Speaker 1:
[06:46] I can say things. It doesn't matter anymore.

Speaker 5:
[06:48] You gobble up that cookie. You're going to look us in the eye and tell us you got back on Shuggy.

Speaker 4:
[06:51] I didn't eat for the first time.

Speaker 5:
[06:53] You ate a little babushka in the eye and say you're not eating a little sugar here in there now.

Speaker 4:
[06:57] Where's my gun?

Speaker 3:
[06:59] Zivert, can you look up chocolate?

Speaker 5:
[07:00] Don't point that at your grandmother.

Speaker 4:
[07:01] I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[07:02] Can you look up chocolate cock? I want to see if it's like an Easter, you know, like the Easter chocolate. Do they have chocolate cock? Naughty gag gift, but it's chocolate.

Speaker 1:
[07:12] It's called dick at your door.

Speaker 4:
[07:14] The real dicksbuymail.com.

Speaker 3:
[07:18] Not to be confused with dicksbuymail.com.

Speaker 1:
[07:19] The real dicksbuymail.com.

Speaker 4:
[07:20] This ain't no middle of them all, dicks.com.

Speaker 1:
[07:22] That's a great steam name.

Speaker 3:
[07:23] Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Speaker 4:
[07:25] Eat a dick.

Speaker 1:
[07:26] Oh, this is so millennial.

Speaker 4:
[07:27] Wait, wait, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[07:28] This is like what Katy Perry would sell.

Speaker 3:
[07:31] Yeah, it is exactly.

Speaker 4:
[07:32] 20 bucks is a steal for that.

Speaker 3:
[07:34] It's been made already. Is it?

Speaker 5:
[07:36] Why is that? What?

Speaker 1:
[07:38] Orange man.

Speaker 3:
[07:40] Sorry, in what universe do you think $20 is a steal?

Speaker 5:
[07:42] $20 for a big, fainty chocolate. With a cock?

Speaker 4:
[07:46] In the box?

Speaker 5:
[07:47] That I lick?

Speaker 4:
[07:48] The box looks like it's made well.

Speaker 5:
[07:49] That I slowly eat.

Speaker 3:
[07:51] And in our factory, we have manmade veins.

Speaker 1:
[07:53] Every day.

Speaker 3:
[07:54] The box has pubes. Wow, that's fun.

Speaker 1:
[07:56] Straight up, I'm not fucking with you. On Derrida, that's about the size and shape of my meat. That's like straight up, just a one to one.

Speaker 5:
[08:03] And you got little chocolate.

Speaker 4:
[08:04] I lost my appetite.

Speaker 1:
[08:07] I think he took my meat some out. Maybe it was when I was in the hospital, I took a mold of it.

Speaker 4:
[08:11] If you look too long at her photo, it takes all of your measurements in your soul, and it turns into chocolate.

Speaker 5:
[08:17] Knocked out at the hospital, and them taking a mold, like your kidney getting stolen.

Speaker 4:
[08:22] What is this site? Just gag candy?

Speaker 3:
[08:24] Yes, gag penis and cock candy.

Speaker 1:
[08:27] Dude, this girl, you know she was telling all her friends, look what gig I had this week. It's going up on the site.

Speaker 4:
[08:33] Look at this gig.

Speaker 3:
[08:34] Oh, this is bachelorette vibes. Oh yeah. And then they're all, you know how they're eating the penis.

Speaker 1:
[08:39] I earned points. I went on Fear and it has a girl on it.

Speaker 3:
[08:43] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[08:44] Did they let her talk this time?

Speaker 1:
[08:46] Barely.

Speaker 4:
[08:46] Barely.

Speaker 1:
[08:47] It's crazy. She tries. God, honest, she tries hard. She can't.

Speaker 4:
[08:52] She's trying to start talking on the show and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. No.

Speaker 3:
[08:58] How was it over there?

Speaker 1:
[09:00] I taught them how to podcast a little bit. You know, I did some role play. I came, I was driving there and I'm like, you know what? Let me come with something. So I created a situation where a song was caught scissoring a gorilla at the zoo. And I was like, let's all role play. And I'm like, you guys should just do this all the time. Gertie is funny. Gertie will do this thing where she will, she does this outside of podcasts, but she'll come to you and be like, oh my God, last night, oh my God, I was so scared. I slammed my head into a cement wall. Oh my God, it was so terrible. What do you want to order by the way? And you're like, what do you want me to say?

Speaker 5:
[09:34] What do you want me to say?

Speaker 1:
[09:37] Do you want me to say Chipotle?

Speaker 4:
[09:40] Yeah, and you know what Ludwig will do back? Chipotle sounds fine.

Speaker 1:
[09:45] I'm so confused every time.

Speaker 3:
[09:47] It's what I have to be. She throws those curve balls at me. And every time I have a good eye, I don't swing.

Speaker 1:
[09:52] Good eye.

Speaker 3:
[09:53] Yeah, I have a good eye. I take it, I take it. And I'm like, cause I know that's going outside. I gotta walk every time. I got mad at her this weekend.

Speaker 1:
[10:03] What happened?

Speaker 3:
[10:04] I don't usually get mad. I wasn't actually mad. Why are you mad at her? Cause there was like, Swift's like, he's on the IR a bit right now.

Speaker 1:
[10:11] Yeah, he's in trouble.

Speaker 3:
[10:12] Well, one of his paws don't work as good as the others. So the doc's like, he can't walk like a lot in a day. He should be still. But Cutie's very busy, she had Master Baker. So I'm watching him all weekend.

Speaker 1:
[10:23] Oh yeah.

Speaker 4:
[10:24] And he's howling.

Speaker 1:
[10:24] And he's howling.

Speaker 3:
[10:27] He's bringing me to my tattered edge. I literally had the thought eight times, I was like, I get why they shake babies. I get why they shake babies. I get why they shake babies. Like I totally get it. Sure. And then I was like, okay, job's done. I did it. And then I'm like, when you're coming back, she's like, oof, I forgot to tell you, I have fear and tonight. And I'm like, that's fine. I'll watch it.

Speaker 4:
[10:48] One more day in paradise.

Speaker 3:
[10:49] That's no worries.

Speaker 4:
[10:50] You can do one more day.

Speaker 1:
[10:51] You're the husband, do it.

Speaker 3:
[10:52] I'll do a few more hours. And then the next day rolls around. And I'm like, okay, oh, when you come back, she's like, oh, I got whined about it tonight. I'm like, two nights in a row.

Speaker 1:
[11:04] She's straight up on some iHeartRadio shit, bro. She got a network.

Speaker 3:
[11:07] That's unlikely. And then we're in bed last night and she's like, oh, by the way, I fear aunt tomorrow morning. I'm like, how has this happened three days in a row? How has this happened?

Speaker 4:
[11:17] No, I checked. We don't have school tomorrow.

Speaker 3:
[11:18] And the only reason I'm mad is because I think the howling got to me and I blew like four beautiful Slay the Spy runs in a row to the howling.

Speaker 4:
[11:31] They're getting involved. No, I believe you.

Speaker 3:
[11:32] I'm genuinely like, I'm genuinely just clicking a move because I'm like, I'm like inting because I'm like, my brain is too, it's, it's combusted. He's hitting the brown note of my thoughts.

Speaker 1:
[11:42] Is there like a lozenge you can give him? Maybe you give a dude, okay, a dog.

Speaker 3:
[11:47] I gave him a fulls in, nothing.

Speaker 4:
[11:49] I have an idea. We get like a cutie cardboard cutout and we like douse it in her perfume and we just like put it in the corner of the house and he can go worship it.

Speaker 3:
[11:59] This is part of what's silting me is that I had to stream. So I'm streaming and so I was howling and people are coming to my chat with literally that suggestion. It's a good idea. It's not, bro. It's not good.

Speaker 4:
[12:10] Have you tried it?

Speaker 3:
[12:10] No, I've tried giving her things that's, or giving him things that smell like her.

Speaker 1:
[12:14] So you tried doing something that's not the idea.

Speaker 4:
[12:16] Maybe it's because he's blind, that might work.

Speaker 5:
[12:18] It's like he is blind.

Speaker 4:
[12:19] He's a little, no, he's deaf. He's not blind.

Speaker 5:
[12:21] He's deaf.

Speaker 3:
[12:21] He's both.

Speaker 4:
[12:22] He's not blind.

Speaker 1:
[12:24] He's not blind. His eyes don't look like white gumballs yet.

Speaker 3:
[12:26] They're close. Oh, they're close, bro.

Speaker 4:
[12:30] Through my buddies before my dog passed away, my buddies just come to my house and they pet my dog and they look at me and go, those eyes are gray, man. I always like stop saying that. This is going to hurt a lot when it happens. They would be like, oh, wow, she's getting old.

Speaker 3:
[12:46] It's funny though, because Swift, even though he likes me second most on earth, he fucking hates me. He only will shit when I'm taking care of him. So I'll become the poop whisperer and whatever.

Speaker 4:
[12:57] Oh, even outside?

Speaker 3:
[12:58] Yeah. If it's been like two days and he hasn't shit, QT is like, ah, can you take him?

Speaker 4:
[13:02] You don't poop for her?

Speaker 3:
[13:02] You don't poop for her.

Speaker 1:
[13:03] Well, yeah, he doesn't want to do it in front of girls.

Speaker 5:
[13:06] He doesn't want to make his sink. He's like, I don't poop.

Speaker 3:
[13:10] But for me, I go, show me. Show me what that butt do.

Speaker 4:
[13:14] Poop for papa.

Speaker 3:
[13:15] And he drops, he drops on the stinkers.

Speaker 5:
[13:18] What comes out of his body is disgusting.

Speaker 4:
[13:23] Hear me out. We dress up Aiden like cutie. We got to sell it. You guys have raw sex in the living room. Swift has to watch. Loud. You guys have loud.

Speaker 5:
[13:33] Swift, not while I'm on top.

Speaker 4:
[13:35] Well, we have to get information.

Speaker 5:
[13:37] We have to ask the character to study.

Speaker 3:
[13:40] First, I have to recreate bar for bar how we have sex.

Speaker 4:
[13:43] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[13:43] Then I do it with Aiden, but he has a wig and her perfume on.

Speaker 4:
[13:46] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[13:47] And then I leave Aiden.

Speaker 5:
[13:50] Are we on the cloud couch?

Speaker 4:
[13:51] Aiden needs to spend a day as cutie before. I think he needs to get a new fear and as cutie where he says nothing. It'll be just like doing the yard.

Speaker 3:
[14:00] And then I finish on your tome, I throw a towel at you and I go, spend the night, I'm going to sneak out. And we see if that works and Aiden can take over for me.

Speaker 5:
[14:08] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[14:09] And then Swift, no more Howlick.

Speaker 5:
[14:12] I feel like this, it leaves me potentially mistreated.

Speaker 3:
[14:16] Let me tell you right now, you're actually safe. I tried it with Christian, it didn't work.

Speaker 1:
[14:20] Ah, Christian's a good ass friend for doing that.

Speaker 3:
[14:23] He's a homie, bro.

Speaker 1:
[14:24] Christian's a good ass friend for letting you ball him like dark.

Speaker 3:
[14:26] We were already doing it and he's like, what if we put on the wig and the perfume? And I was like, fuck.

Speaker 1:
[14:30] Christian's funny too, cause like you'd be fucking him in the ass. He'd be like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I guess I'll put on a wig.

Speaker 4:
[14:36] I guess I'm getting fucked in the ass today.

Speaker 1:
[14:38] Yeah, Ludwig's a big chiller.

Speaker 4:
[14:40] Yeah, Ludwig's fucking me in the ass today.

Speaker 3:
[14:42] Christian would say some mean shit like, I told him to go deeper, he had nothing.

Speaker 1:
[14:46] Yeah, that's what he would say. He'd be like, I mean, Christian, how was it fucking Ludwig there? He'd be like, it's all right.

Speaker 3:
[14:51] I don't know if I felt it.

Speaker 4:
[14:52] I said deeper, he didn't have any more dick.

Speaker 1:
[14:56] Oh, man, I love that guy. I actually, I was working out earlier today because we're doing this late, and I had the 50s and I threw them away because you do your last rep, fucking throw them away. And I was like, I'll just leave that because fuck this place, right? But then I was like, Christian uses the gym. I respect Christian.

Speaker 4:
[15:15] He's our top shotter.

Speaker 1:
[15:16] And he's our top shotter, so I had to put it away.

Speaker 3:
[15:18] I'm the top shotter.

Speaker 4:
[15:19] No, Christian's our top shotter. I'm the top shotter. Okay, I'm not going to lie, these days, when a burglar comes into the warehouse and I'm shrieking and hiding behind someone, I think I'm picking Christian. I think I'm picking Christian, bro.

Speaker 5:
[15:30] Probably Christian.

Speaker 3:
[15:30] He's big. It's one of the downfalls of losing weight, is I've lost the fucking strong vibes.

Speaker 4:
[15:38] He gets strong so fast. You've always been strong. At one point, he was weak.

Speaker 1:
[15:41] It's impressive what his transformation was, but when we met you, you were already kind of exactly the same as what you are now.

Speaker 4:
[15:47] You were already the jock of the group.

Speaker 5:
[15:48] And now you're a figment of what you were in the past.

Speaker 3:
[15:51] I'm bulking, so I'm getting back there. I'm back to benching.

Speaker 4:
[15:54] You want to eat chocolate later?

Speaker 1:
[15:55] I'm just massaging your gun. You want to eat chocolate? Yes, dry firing into your dick. You want to eat chocolate with me?

Speaker 3:
[16:08] Yes, yes. It was fun. It was like Christian and Michael, they were talking because Michael's at the warehouse. And they both have been skinny boys their whole life, but they're both bulking.

Speaker 5:
[16:17] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[16:18] Michael's bulking. Michael keeps saying, I'm going to hit 190 before you.

Speaker 5:
[16:22] Michael was pretty fit during the boxing arc.

Speaker 3:
[16:24] But he's trying to gain what he wants to hit 190 is what he says.

Speaker 5:
[16:27] Michael is not going to hit 194.

Speaker 3:
[16:29] He shouldn't hit 190.

Speaker 5:
[16:30] Why does he want to hit 190?

Speaker 3:
[16:31] I don't know what's the number he says.

Speaker 1:
[16:32] He looks like Mario in Super Mario when he eats the pea and he goes, I don't know. He can fly around.

Speaker 4:
[16:37] He looks like Tom Kinch if he didn't hit 190.

Speaker 1:
[16:40] It's just he's not tall enough.

Speaker 3:
[16:41] That's what he wants to hit. But they're talking about the skinny boy dream of getting big.

Speaker 1:
[16:46] Skinny boy click.

Speaker 3:
[16:47] Because they both can't eat a lot.

Speaker 4:
[16:48] Reverse twink death.

Speaker 3:
[16:49] And they both realized they had the same secret strat. And so Michael goes, you want to hear my strat? And they're talking about, he's like, so, you know, like on the back of a protein powder, it says the calories. And then Christian gets here before Mike can even finish. He's like, yeah, you put two scoops. And Michael's like, yes!

Speaker 1:
[17:08] Socrates and Aristotle.

Speaker 3:
[17:11] Their whole strategy is putting two scoops of protein powder in your smoothie.

Speaker 4:
[17:15] Can't you just milkshake it like the movies? Like when Mac from Sunny gets really big, he's like, yeah, I did the ice cream. I got big.

Speaker 3:
[17:22] Yeah, this is that. It's not like a secret. They just came to the conclusion.

Speaker 4:
[17:26] I was really trying to fucking get crazy. I'm not going to be like, I should get more protein powder. I would just eat bullshit.

Speaker 1:
[17:31] Protein powder gives you the illusion that you're doing something good to your body.

Speaker 3:
[17:34] It's better macros because you want, they're trying to hit a gram of protein per body weight, or on Christian's case, more than.

Speaker 4:
[17:41] He wants more than body weight?

Speaker 3:
[17:42] 1.1 to 1.2 X grams of protein per...

Speaker 4:
[17:44] Oh, that's why he's so big.

Speaker 3:
[17:45] Christian's also a funny guy because he's very set in his ways, but I'll tell him something. He'll reject it. And the next day he'll be like, ah. So his first thing he was like, yeah, I eat a pint of ice cream every night. And I was like, there's some drawbacks to that.

Speaker 5:
[17:58] Sorry.

Speaker 4:
[17:58] Right, sorry. So Christians like this?

Speaker 5:
[17:59] Can you just say that? Christian, this is a thing that a Christian does?

Speaker 4:
[18:02] So you give Christian advice. He goes, no, I don't want to do that. And then very shortly after comes to the same conclusion.

Speaker 3:
[18:06] A day later, he'll be like, you know what? I looked up ice cream. It turns out a pint a day is bad for it.

Speaker 4:
[18:12] You guys were living in the same neighborhood?

Speaker 3:
[18:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a Christian thing. It's a Christian thing.

Speaker 1:
[18:15] Straight up, I don't think Christian could read before he got here. I think he learned in Los Angeles, California. I love the guy. I'm just being real.

Speaker 3:
[18:24] Dude, he was better at school than I was.

Speaker 1:
[18:27] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[18:27] He got into UNH. I didn't.

Speaker 1:
[18:30] UNH?

Speaker 3:
[18:31] University of New Hampshire.

Speaker 4:
[18:32] And then ASU had to fucking scrape you up off the floor.

Speaker 1:
[18:36] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[18:36] I thought it was Harvard of the Southwest.

Speaker 3:
[18:37] It was Harvard of the Southwest. You know who went there?

Speaker 4:
[18:39] Who's that?

Speaker 3:
[18:40] My boy, Johnny.

Speaker 4:
[18:42] Who's that?

Speaker 3:
[18:43] Somali?

Speaker 1:
[18:44] Really?

Speaker 4:
[18:45] Johnny Somali.

Speaker 1:
[18:45] Johnny Somali went to ASU.

Speaker 3:
[18:46] Graduated with a higher GPA than me.

Speaker 1:
[18:47] And now he's in a labor camp.

Speaker 4:
[18:49] Yeah. Now he's holding a plank over his head for six hours.

Speaker 3:
[18:52] He's getting strong and he's smart. Wow. I'm jealous. He graduated magna cum laude.

Speaker 1:
[18:59] You're fucking with me.

Speaker 4:
[19:00] How loud he does it. That guy's a fucking criminal.

Speaker 3:
[19:02] Finance bro.

Speaker 4:
[19:03] Dr. Disrespect went to my college.

Speaker 1:
[19:05] Really? He went to Pomona?

Speaker 4:
[19:07] Yeah, you've said this before.

Speaker 1:
[19:08] Go Broncos. Go Doc.

Speaker 4:
[19:10] Yeah, go Doc.

Speaker 3:
[19:11] Go Doc. Go Johnny Somali. And all women should what?

Speaker 1:
[19:17] It is good to be back.

Speaker 4:
[19:18] It is good to be back. On The Yard.

Speaker 3:
[19:20] It is good.

Speaker 4:
[19:22] What have you guys been up to? What's the shining light in your life right now?

Speaker 1:
[19:26] Shut up. How about you tell us why you were gone?

Speaker 4:
[19:28] Chipotle.

Speaker 1:
[19:29] Describe it. Describe it like crazy.

Speaker 4:
[19:31] I get woken up at about 6 a.m. It's like dawn is just, the sun has just come out, and I'm like, oh, it's like a sharp pain in my stomach. And I know the pain of having to poop. They have had the pain before, like when it builds up after a while. And I hadn't gone in a while, but it was like really, really, really tight and bad. So I go and I sit on the toilet and nothing's coming out. And I'm just sitting there and I'm straining. And it's all right, TMI, it's a little gross. But a solid chunk comes out and everything else on top of it is liquid.

Speaker 5:
[20:04] Do we?

Speaker 3:
[20:05] It's like a Chinese building.

Speaker 5:
[20:05] Do you feel like that's how it works?

Speaker 4:
[20:07] Hold on, explain to you.

Speaker 3:
[20:09] Because they built the first three floors and then they just stopped. So it's all scaffolding.

Speaker 4:
[20:13] It was all bamboo after the first solid part.

Speaker 1:
[20:15] Well, that's you got it. You think they used bamboo for scaffolding? Yeah, and also a panda and a hard hat made it.

Speaker 3:
[20:23] Give me the hat. Give me the hat. You lose the hat for that one. I got you, everyone in China.

Speaker 4:
[20:31] But yeah, it was just excruciating diarrhea. It was only a day, though. The next day, I was totally fine.

Speaker 3:
[20:35] You think it's chapeau? It's not like they have a crazy history of that.

Speaker 4:
[20:38] Did you get the steak?

Speaker 1:
[20:39] Did you get the steak real?

Speaker 4:
[20:41] I got double steak.

Speaker 5:
[20:42] It's always the steak.

Speaker 1:
[20:43] It's always the steak.

Speaker 4:
[20:44] I got double steak.

Speaker 1:
[20:45] The first time I heard about food poisoning in general was this grilled separator from Taco Bell with steak.

Speaker 3:
[20:51] Was there lettuce not also a culprit of E coli?

Speaker 5:
[20:54] Shut the up. The steak is the steak, is it?

Speaker 3:
[20:57] It's crazy to lose some lettuce, though.

Speaker 5:
[20:58] Is they'll get crazy and it goes in your body and it creates a cork in your ass that liquid, liquid floods behind and it must release.

Speaker 4:
[21:08] It must go somewhere.

Speaker 5:
[21:08] And it's tough to pop the cork.

Speaker 4:
[21:10] And then you hit the you hit the the ecstasy of the bidet.

Speaker 5:
[21:13] Yeah. Oh my God.

Speaker 4:
[21:14] Just the ecstasy of a level five spray after you've gone to war.

Speaker 5:
[21:18] It's like I can't even I couldn't even imagine going back.

Speaker 1:
[21:21] I sent you a link to a restaurant and I'd like you to open the link to that restaurant. I went to this place with Zeke the other night and it was it's funny because I can't believe that they went with this logo. This place called Heavy Handed. Can you control zoom in on that logo?

Speaker 5:
[21:42] Wow.

Speaker 4:
[21:43] Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 3:
[21:44] I don't.

Speaker 1:
[21:44] Scroll down. What? Just find the logo.

Speaker 3:
[21:47] That's crazy.

Speaker 4:
[21:48] It wouldn't let you do it. Maybe. Oh, there it is.

Speaker 1:
[21:51] What do you think of that?

Speaker 4:
[21:54] I'll give you a hint.

Speaker 3:
[21:55] Maybe two Tory gates. Two authentically Japanese Tory gates.

Speaker 4:
[22:00] The numbers eight and eight next to each other mean like a similar thing.

Speaker 3:
[22:03] Yeah, no, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it.

Speaker 5:
[22:05] Oh, so everything has to do with Hitler now. Everything. Can we not have a nice burger joint?

Speaker 1:
[22:12] It's on their shirts. It's on outside.

Speaker 4:
[22:14] A night out with the boys. Some HH.

Speaker 3:
[22:18] It's like in and out, except under the cup. It's not John 316. It's just 1488. You're like, whoa, it's a line cup expert.

Speaker 1:
[22:25] It's actual German Goebbels quotes.

Speaker 3:
[22:28] Interesting. Was it good?

Speaker 1:
[22:29] It was great.

Speaker 5:
[22:30] It was great food.

Speaker 1:
[22:32] I mean, you know.

Speaker 4:
[22:34] A lot of German beer here.

Speaker 1:
[22:36] I couldn't believe it. We were just sitting there, and that logo is gigantic, just painted on the wall without, the name of the place is heavy handed, and it just says HH, and I'm like, damn, they gotta change that shit.

Speaker 4:
[22:47] Claude is like kicking these places out, like in LA, like these places, there's so many places like this in LA, like Smash Burger with the, the fucking fries that look like that, and the fucking ice cream they sell.

Speaker 3:
[22:58] There are too many Smash Burger places.

Speaker 4:
[23:00] And they also fucking ice cream. What's up with the burger milkshake thing?

Speaker 3:
[23:03] I think it's like a fat boy thinking.

Speaker 1:
[23:04] It's an American diner experience. What do you tie it with?

Speaker 4:
[23:06] None of them do like the diner vibe. None of them are doing the diner vibe. They're following the diner menu.

Speaker 1:
[23:12] Yeah, I think that's part of being the diner, right? Is you serve the food that's there. Milk, Johnny Rockets type of shit.

Speaker 3:
[23:17] I think it's like if you're going for a Smash Burger, you're in your fat boy moment, and you'll splurge.

Speaker 1:
[23:23] They got the, they had the ice cream where it's like, it's got a hard shell on the outside.

Speaker 3:
[23:26] Yummy.

Speaker 1:
[23:27] Everything there was like, damn, again, HH knows how to whip it up.

Speaker 4:
[23:31] Yeah. Hey, salute to HH for the excellent.

Speaker 1:
[23:37] For the excellent food, bro.

Speaker 3:
[23:39] Your heart goes out to him.

Speaker 4:
[23:41] Yeah, more than my heart.

Speaker 1:
[23:43] My wallet does. No, yeah, it was crazy. I had this idea, I talked about this on the podcast where I showed them how to podcast, and I was doing combos. But what if we get together as a friend group and start RPGing Waymo's across the nation?

Speaker 4:
[24:03] Oh, I heard role playing game. You're saying like a rocket launcher.

Speaker 1:
[24:07] We literally were demolition squad.

Speaker 4:
[24:10] We start blowing up Waymo's.

Speaker 1:
[24:11] Imagine Aiden shoot it. He's got the helmet on. I load it in the back. I tap him on the head.

Speaker 4:
[24:18] We're like four football fields away. Like there's a moment you wait before it hits. And then because you know what?

Speaker 1:
[24:25] Babushka is a good shot.

Speaker 4:
[24:26] You know Waymo's.

Speaker 3:
[24:29] This is like such a California thing. We can stop them from spreading is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:
[24:34] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[24:34] We can cut the virus at the source.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] I heard about when it was the ICE protest a couple months ago, people were setting them on fire, but it was funny because they were ordering the Waymo's to where they...

Speaker 3:
[24:47] To their death.

Speaker 5:
[24:48] To be sacrificed. To their death.

Speaker 1:
[24:50] And the Waymo's would just arrive like cattle to be like sacrificed in these grounds.

Speaker 3:
[24:55] They brought his son to the mountain.

Speaker 5:
[24:57] They drew giant pentagrams around the Waymo's.

Speaker 1:
[25:00] And they made it park right in the pentagram. And then...

Speaker 3:
[25:03] Dude, wow. I didn't not realize burning a car.

Speaker 1:
[25:06] Dude, they're just blood stains on the ground.

Speaker 3:
[25:08] It looks like what your hand looks like when you've just slapped a mosquito.

Speaker 4:
[25:11] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:12] Like there's nothing left.

Speaker 4:
[25:13] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[25:15] I'm saying, bro, we don't need protests to do this. We can just do it on our own volition.

Speaker 4:
[25:21] Dude, we should have... You know that day that everyone tried to storm Area 51? There was like a Facebook group. We should call all the Waymo's there one day. Just like $4,000 rides.

Speaker 1:
[25:30] Well, no, he was telling me, because he was the one who told me about this, because I pitched it to him too. I'm really trying to make this happen. And he said, I can't order Waymo's in my area because of this. They stopped doing it. What? And I'm like, that's hilarious.

Speaker 4:
[25:44] You got to break a few eggs. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:
[25:46] You got to break a few fucking eggs.

Speaker 4:
[25:50] I want to light a car on fire, a place I shouldn't once.

Speaker 5:
[25:54] Once?

Speaker 3:
[25:56] Just your one time.

Speaker 4:
[25:57] I didn't light any cars. No cars.

Speaker 5:
[25:58] When you were growing up.

Speaker 4:
[25:59] Involved in that alleged incident that involved me.

Speaker 1:
[26:02] When are you finally going to face justice? Do you think you face justice already in your life?

Speaker 3:
[26:07] What's the statute of limitations?

Speaker 4:
[26:09] I faced in my life for that? Or in general?

Speaker 1:
[26:12] Do you think you have suffered enough to pay for what you did? Allegedly, which we don't know what the it is. Have you suffered enough?

Speaker 4:
[26:20] Yeah, I suffered enough.

Speaker 1:
[26:22] All right, he doesn't. He hasn't suffered enough.

Speaker 3:
[26:24] Can you have some shame?

Speaker 4:
[26:26] I say yes. I say no. You take the same.

Speaker 1:
[26:29] If you say no, I'll be like, ah, nice.

Speaker 4:
[26:32] No, I need to suffer more.

Speaker 1:
[26:33] Yeah. Give me the hat.

Speaker 4:
[26:37] Let me wear the hat while I say it.

Speaker 1:
[26:38] I don't think that.

Speaker 4:
[26:42] Are you done being Chinese, by the way?

Speaker 3:
[26:44] Dude, I just finished rewatching Tip to Tip. I'm back. I watched because the final three days, I'm so good at Chinese.

Speaker 4:
[26:53] You're not. You're actually like, no, famously bad at Chinese.

Speaker 3:
[26:56] I'm so good.

Speaker 4:
[26:57] What are some highlight moments that you remember?

Speaker 3:
[27:00] The last three days, it was like a dude being like, he was like, yeah, so fuck, you want to go to Aaron High. You got to take a left. There's a split fork in the road highway. Take a right. And then I leave and I repeat everything he says in English. I'm like, how did I do that? Well, I'm fucking good at it.

Speaker 1:
[27:15] Because there's subtitles.

Speaker 3:
[27:17] And I was reading them. One second. Can you repeat that last part? Yeah, I realize I'm just good at it.

Speaker 5:
[27:26] But when you met us and got on the boat with us in Beijing, did it? Was it gone?

Speaker 3:
[27:34] It might be time to hang it up, man.

Speaker 1:
[27:35] Thank you. Jesus Christ. Find a different fixation and then we'll have to deal with that.

Speaker 3:
[27:41] I'm wearing it. We went to it.

Speaker 1:
[27:43] Oh, you're back.

Speaker 3:
[27:44] It's Dodger season, bro.

Speaker 1:
[27:45] I had a wonderful time.

Speaker 3:
[27:46] It was great.

Speaker 1:
[27:47] I had a wonderful time at the baseball.

Speaker 4:
[27:48] Do you guys have a hot dog?

Speaker 3:
[27:49] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[27:50] You guys have a hot dog?

Speaker 5:
[27:50] Oh, a few actually.

Speaker 1:
[27:51] Several hot dogs. What are you asking for? You weren't there.

Speaker 4:
[27:54] You're real close to the field.

Speaker 1:
[27:55] Yeah, we were super close to the field.

Speaker 5:
[27:56] It was just a couple of boys eating meat on a Monday night at the game.

Speaker 1:
[28:01] Let me ask you something, Ludwig. Have you heckled an outfielder like that or are you playing it up for the camera?

Speaker 3:
[28:06] I've I've usually only yelled positive things to like I mean heckled like Andy Pahez because he throws back the foul balls.

Speaker 5:
[28:16] So every time I go, Andy, Andy.

Speaker 1:
[28:18] Yeah, no. So what?

Speaker 3:
[28:20] I'm terminal.

Speaker 1:
[28:20] What Ludwig is? I'm terminal. I know I look healthy, but it's bad. It's pancreatic. Well, Ludwig would eat. It was Tommy Pham. I think Tommy Pham.

Speaker 3:
[28:29] Tommy Pham, 38.

Speaker 1:
[28:30] And he looked up how old he was like, back it up Tommy, so hey, bro, back it up. And then he was like, he was like, you look good for 38, bro. And it was just crazy. And I'm like, these guys, it was all the time.

Speaker 4:
[28:42] This is my dream to heckle a bunch of these guys.

Speaker 5:
[28:45] I couldn't take it. Because not in the video that we showed was when Tommy Fahm turns around to the outfield and makes eye contact with the people yelling at him. And I couldn't bear it.

Speaker 3:
[28:56] And I'm going, Tommy, don't listen to him. I love the chain. I love the Cuban. I love the Cuban, Tommy.

Speaker 1:
[29:02] It is cool to be an outfielder because like, let's say you make this crazy daring catch, you just get to look at them all. You just get to look every one in the eye.

Speaker 3:
[29:09] Oh yeah, they definitely do that shit too.

Speaker 1:
[29:10] Also, I think he was about to throw it to where we were standing, one of like the pop flies or whatever. But then he looked at us and just dumped it elsewhere. He punished the, the, the scams. The section. Yes.

Speaker 3:
[29:24] I don't even think I want a ball from Tommy.

Speaker 1:
[29:26] No, but little kids might. And they have to suffer the AOE of you. Dude, people were laughing. Ludwig was like entertaining the section.

Speaker 5:
[29:37] Ludwig. That's so cool. Ludwig went on this like long winded joke about how you hit on your dad while you play catch with him as a kid. And he's making the two guys to the left of us like crack up.

Speaker 4:
[29:51] I remember that.

Speaker 1:
[29:51] Hilarious. Collectively, we're hilarious.

Speaker 5:
[29:55] I was like, maybe you're for everybody, man, because these are two 40 year olds guys.

Speaker 4:
[29:59] Just peanut fans.

Speaker 1:
[30:00] Straight up.

Speaker 4:
[30:01] Just sitting there enjoying their fucking baseball game.

Speaker 3:
[30:03] And I'm converting them. I'm converting them while they sit there with their wives and their wives' boyfriends, and they all enjoy the game together. And I'm saying, switch over to me, y'all.

Speaker 4:
[30:13] Switch over to me.

Speaker 1:
[30:14] The thing about Burnt Peanut is you can watch it with your wife's boyfriend and it is fucking lit.

Speaker 3:
[30:18] Dude, can I actually just fucking say his streams are actually fucking W?

Speaker 1:
[30:22] Of course they're W. Why do you think millions of people watch them every day?

Speaker 3:
[30:25] Yeah, because they're fucking awesome in W. In fuck myth, bro.

Speaker 4:
[30:29] Fuck myth, bro.

Speaker 3:
[30:31] Because he's fucking up his server.

Speaker 4:
[30:32] Because he got beef. I had to fucking lowkey, I had to fucking kick myth from the fucking server. And you know what myth said? He fucking flipped me off on camera, bro.

Speaker 5:
[30:38] Myth wouldn't do that.

Speaker 3:
[30:40] Myth said, myth said ban me. And I said, he should be banned, bro, the way you're acting like a kid.

Speaker 4:
[30:44] Yeah, and I'm a peanut wearing a fucking police outfit on stream because someone donated for it.

Speaker 3:
[30:50] Do you know about what the fuck's his name? Do you know about the sheriff?

Speaker 4:
[30:55] Yeah, like the fake burnt peanut.

Speaker 3:
[30:57] Yes. You know about this guy?

Speaker 1:
[30:58] Isn't he one of the Mega64 guys?

Speaker 3:
[31:00] No, there's this guy that's doing it who I think has like tried to be a creator in different ways. The faithful sheriff, the sheriff.

Speaker 1:
[31:09] Yeah, he's like, I think he's he's just a peanut like copycat.

Speaker 3:
[31:13] He's just a one to one knockoff.

Speaker 4:
[31:16] AI thumbnails are pretty awesome.

Speaker 3:
[31:17] The burnt peanut.

Speaker 1:
[31:18] Why am I a peanut?

Speaker 3:
[31:20] I want to see what he sounds like a genuine one to one. And like so much so that they both started on whatever that game was. Ark Raiders and then peanut switches to Rust. And this guy opens a Rust server the next day.

Speaker 1:
[31:37] He's wearing the same bandana as Android, I think 16 from DBZ.

Speaker 3:
[31:41] I like how his VTuber.

Speaker 4:
[31:43] All his assets are AI.

Speaker 3:
[31:44] And he has a Bible strap zoom.

Speaker 1:
[31:47] I like how it's holstered like a gun.

Speaker 4:
[31:49] Yeah, that's really cool to take someone's.

Speaker 3:
[31:51] Let's give Aiden a few seconds of his voice.

Speaker 2:
[31:52] A lot of people across social media have been wondering, why are you a peanut? Why are you copying the burnt peanut?

Speaker 3:
[32:00] Now that's a pause. I'd rather remain a mystery.

Speaker 1:
[32:04] He's got the same facial structure as one of the Red Letter Media guys. I think Jay from Red Letter Media.

Speaker 3:
[32:10] You're basing it off his peanut VTuber. You're basing it off that.

Speaker 1:
[32:13] I'm talking about the lips and the eyes.

Speaker 5:
[32:14] They hired peanuts at Red Letter Media.

Speaker 3:
[32:16] I like the, who is the anti-Christ pop up.

Speaker 4:
[32:18] That was my extreme. Exclamation point anti-Christ.

Speaker 3:
[32:21] I need to add that one in my chat.

Speaker 5:
[32:24] dude.

Speaker 1:
[32:24] What's wrong?

Speaker 4:
[32:25] What?

Speaker 3:
[32:25] I have a meeting to go to.

Speaker 1:
[32:28] Well, get to your meeting.

Speaker 4:
[32:34] It's okay, it's okay.

Speaker 1:
[32:36] Put the phones down. Put the phones down.

Speaker 2:
[32:43] Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1:
[32:47] So you can't eat because you're-

Speaker 3:
[32:49] Can you turn the alarm off?

Speaker 4:
[32:50] Can you turn it off at least?

Speaker 3:
[32:51] To call!

Speaker 4:
[32:52] It's a call.

Speaker 5:
[32:53] That one was Barack.

Speaker 4:
[32:54] Barack, really?

Speaker 3:
[32:56] Not Obama, it's just the same name.

Speaker 1:
[32:57] If you're going into a meeting with Barack, and you haven't eaten, you need to figure something out. Luckily, I have this big black edition bag right in my lap. What is it? This is Hewlett, Ludwig. It's Hewlett.

Speaker 3:
[33:08] What is that?

Speaker 1:
[33:10] It's a ready-to-drink meal for when you're sprinting through the day.

Speaker 3:
[33:12] Give it to me.

Speaker 1:
[33:13] It's when you want to control the texture ingredients when you're home. Look, it's got protein. It's got all the nutrients you need, flexible flavors. You can add fruit, nut butter, ice if you want it cold. You can do whatever you want.

Speaker 3:
[33:25] I can't drink this and then eat food later. I need a complete meal. It is a complete meal.

Speaker 5:
[33:30] You just drank the complete meal. That's it.

Speaker 3:
[33:33] What? Yes, but it's liquid.

Speaker 1:
[33:35] How do you feel right now? Filled.

Speaker 3:
[33:37] Right to the brim.

Speaker 1:
[33:38] Do you feel the protein running through your body?

Speaker 5:
[33:40] Twenty seven essential vitamins and minerals.

Speaker 4:
[33:42] Losing through me and no artificial sweeteners either. And it's gluten free, which I know you care about.

Speaker 5:
[33:45] Wasn't that quick?

Speaker 1:
[33:46] Wasn't that quick?

Speaker 4:
[33:47] You don't have to be stressed about your meat.

Speaker 3:
[33:48] It's not easy to take that long.

Speaker 1:
[33:49] You know what you did? You grabbed it and you goad. It's grab and go.

Speaker 4:
[33:52] It's a complete meal. You can literally grab and go.

Speaker 1:
[33:54] I want you to call Barack right now. Tell him you're going to be in that meeting right now. I want to hear his voice.

Speaker 3:
[33:59] I'm probably going to watch TikToks and blow them off. I have some extra time.

Speaker 4:
[34:02] Hey, well, at least you'll do it with a full stomach and a chock full of nutrients and a few guys out there want to be chock full of nutrients. You can go get this limited time offer. Get Huel today with an exclusive offer of 15% off with code YARD15 at huel.com/yard15.

Speaker 5:
[34:21] New customers only.

Speaker 4:
[34:22] That's for new customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. Let's get back to the podcast.

Speaker 3:
[34:26] I've saved so much time. I've saved so much time.

Speaker 4:
[34:29] We're going to have to do something about it.

Speaker 3:
[34:30] I've saved so much time.

Speaker 1:
[34:31] I thought he was going to call the meetings and stuff.

Speaker 3:
[34:33] I've saved so much time.

Speaker 5:
[34:35] Go to the meeting.

Speaker 3:
[34:36] I don't need to. I've saved so much time.

Speaker 4:
[34:38] Let's go back to The Yard.

Speaker 5:
[34:39] I think this should go the other way, where instead of VTuber models baseline being anime, they should all be peanuts.

Speaker 3:
[34:46] You look like a Roachimaru.

Speaker 5:
[34:47] I know.

Speaker 3:
[34:48] Right now. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[34:49] You think I don't know that? You think I wasn't purged by the fucking hidden leaf?

Speaker 3:
[34:54] You look up a Roachimaru rice hat.

Speaker 4:
[34:56] You know what I would watch a shit ton of Aiden? If you streamed Counter-Strike as a VTuber baby, and you'd have meltdowns, and you'd be a baby in a diaper, like your VTuber could be standing on the desk, controlling the mouse and keyboard, and you'd get mad, and you'd be a baby. No, no, you'd be you. You'd talk exactly like you.

Speaker 5:
[35:16] You'd be like, God damn it, dude. I didn't think he would fucking flank like that.

Speaker 4:
[35:20] But you're a baby.

Speaker 5:
[35:21] I didn't think he would do that.

Speaker 4:
[35:22] Wow.

Speaker 3:
[35:23] Yeah, that's Aiden right now.

Speaker 5:
[35:24] I know.

Speaker 3:
[35:25] My bad.

Speaker 4:
[35:25] That's accurate.

Speaker 5:
[35:26] Don't say dumbass shit on the show.

Speaker 3:
[35:28] And that's on me, and I hold this up.

Speaker 5:
[35:30] You think I'm not trying to do a little Naruto thing right now?

Speaker 4:
[35:32] That's a long tongue.

Speaker 3:
[35:34] Yeah, he got a crazy tongue. He got a crazy tongue.

Speaker 4:
[35:36] That's a long, whoa, that's got to be like part of the character. They don't all have tongues that long in that.

Speaker 3:
[35:40] Orochimaru has the greatest story arc because he's like the main villain. He's like horrible. He murders a crazy amount of people. He kidnaps children. And then in the sequel series, Boruto, he's like the old teacher. Like they brought him back. Yeah, they brought him back. It's like fucking, oh, my God, let's go to Epstein's class. It's like that vibe.

Speaker 5:
[35:59] He ends up being like kind of a Bean Lister villain in the OG series, right?

Speaker 3:
[36:03] Yeah, yeah, but like he still like did horrible, heinous things.

Speaker 5:
[36:07] Yeah, but like murdering a handful of people, it's like everybody in the fucking world has murdered as many people as in Roachy Morrow by the end.

Speaker 3:
[36:13] He kidnapped a child, like he lured a child. He bit a child, sucked his blood, made him a demon, and then lured him away from his family.

Speaker 1:
[36:19] Everything you're describing, President Barack Obama did.

Speaker 5:
[36:22] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[36:24] So what then?

Speaker 3:
[36:25] And when he's at a basketball game, he's standing clap. And that's a good fucking point.

Speaker 1:
[36:32] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3:
[36:32] You want me to show you some awesome China shit?

Speaker 1:
[36:34] All these double standards.

Speaker 3:
[36:35] Can you look up Q-I-A-O-D-A-N, shoes?

Speaker 1:
[36:41] Q-I-A-O.

Speaker 3:
[36:42] The way you pronounce that in China is Chowden, which is the same way you pronounced Jordan. It's a knockoff Michael Jordan brand that they made in China.

Speaker 1:
[36:54] Yeah, he does look like shittier in the silhouette.

Speaker 3:
[36:56] And they use the same color palette. It is just a direct knockoff.

Speaker 4:
[37:00] The first one is just a pair of Jordans.

Speaker 5:
[37:02] Yeah, it's a guy clearly not jumping as far.

Speaker 1:
[37:06] I can't, right?

Speaker 3:
[37:08] Yeah, smaller hops.

Speaker 1:
[37:09] And then in Chinese, it's just, he's trying.

Speaker 4:
[37:11] That image, is it literally Michael Jordan?

Speaker 3:
[37:15] Probably, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[37:16] Yeah, click on that.

Speaker 3:
[37:17] Yeah, they probably did it.

Speaker 4:
[37:19] I mean, that pose is maybe somewhat common, but that looks like it's it.

Speaker 1:
[37:22] I think what I learned about your escapades and tip to tip, Ludwig, is that if you're a country, if you're a superpower with one billion people, you can just do what you want. It doesn't matter. What the fuck are they gonna do in the United States about Chowden?

Speaker 4:
[37:36] Yeah, bitch, Google don't work here.

Speaker 3:
[37:37] Nothing.

Speaker 4:
[37:38] What the hell are you gonna do?

Speaker 1:
[37:39] And I think I didn't recognize the scale of the country, the dynasty of China.

Speaker 3:
[37:48] They got a big ass scale over there.

Speaker 4:
[37:50] Yeah, that was the biggest thing. When I got back and when I got there, and I looked at my phone was basically a brick. I was like, oh, awesome. Like I can't use Google.

Speaker 1:
[37:59] He's literally walking with fucking these things, bro. He'd walk in with these and he'd not say anything, but he'd do this.

Speaker 4:
[38:05] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[38:05] And he'd be like.

Speaker 3:
[38:07] Can y'all pretend for a second that that's really not Aiden, who walks in with his Huawei laptop?

Speaker 1:
[38:12] It's funny. It's the same amount of performance.

Speaker 3:
[38:15] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[38:15] He's got the ear buds too. Oh, the ear buds.

Speaker 3:
[38:17] You got the Huawei ear buds?

Speaker 5:
[38:19] Yeah. I support the Chinese.

Speaker 4:
[38:21] Can you actually bring them in? When you look at them? I want to see you wear them.

Speaker 5:
[38:26] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[38:26] Come on. You're going to get a kick out of this. I think you're going to look different. They do.

Speaker 1:
[38:30] I like, like, they're like noticeable.

Speaker 4:
[38:33] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[38:33] God, you're so sinister. Please don't fire.

Speaker 4:
[38:38] We got to bring, we got to put running like that mainstream.

Speaker 3:
[38:40] Naruto running?

Speaker 4:
[38:41] Yeah. Like that should be in the Olympics.

Speaker 1:
[38:43] How would you do that? Because people would always want to beat those people up.

Speaker 4:
[38:46] Like an Olympic category.

Speaker 3:
[38:47] I can tell you the reason why it's not a thing anymore. Can you look up series graph Boruto? It's a really simple fucking answer.

Speaker 4:
[38:56] I love the type of shit you know.

Speaker 3:
[38:58] I mean, bro.

Speaker 4:
[38:59] Series graph Boruto?

Speaker 3:
[39:00] Yep.

Speaker 4:
[39:03] What is Boruto?

Speaker 3:
[39:04] This is the sequel series to Naruto. And as you can see, there's a lot of red.

Speaker 4:
[39:09] And the end.

Speaker 3:
[39:11] At the recent, it's still going.

Speaker 1:
[39:13] That's a terrible run. You hate to have 50 episodes of your anime? Be bad.

Speaker 4:
[39:18] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[39:19] So anyway, this is why it doesn't have the same cultural stay that it used to have.

Speaker 1:
[39:23] Are you saying that the current Naruto material isn't very loved?

Speaker 3:
[39:28] The current Naruto material is basically consumed through cut up YouTube highlights of the characters you liked from the old series.

Speaker 4:
[39:34] Look how tall he looks when he does that. You do look taller.

Speaker 3:
[39:39] You look crazy. You look like Slenderman. Intimidating, bro.

Speaker 1:
[39:42] That is crazy.

Speaker 3:
[39:43] That makes you look way less intimidating.

Speaker 1:
[39:44] You look like you're just coughing.

Speaker 4:
[39:45] All right. Put the earbuds in and show them.

Speaker 3:
[39:47] I think they're on right now.

Speaker 4:
[39:48] They're in right now. Let's check it out.

Speaker 1:
[39:49] Reveal. Show me. Shut up. Take off the shawl and show me your Huawei.

Speaker 5:
[39:54] I can't take it off when men from other families are around.

Speaker 1:
[40:00] Yeah, let's go for a different group.

Speaker 4:
[40:02] Yeah, let's have a group already.

Speaker 3:
[40:04] For audio listeners, he looks insane.

Speaker 4:
[40:07] He's wearing, yeah, he's wearing like a black blanket over his whole body.

Speaker 1:
[40:12] Oh, my God. Dude, that's the shit Alissa Liu has on her teeth. That's crazy.

Speaker 3:
[40:19] You look like fake earrings you'd give a child.

Speaker 4:
[40:21] They look like earrings. That's the thing.

Speaker 3:
[40:23] They look like fake earrings you'd give a child.

Speaker 1:
[40:25] That's so unbelievable.

Speaker 3:
[40:27] And you use them?

Speaker 5:
[40:28] I've been using them a ton.

Speaker 1:
[40:29] You look like you listen to Korn.

Speaker 4:
[40:31] Look, you're right. It is more him. It is so him. I think with shoes, particularly, you do this.

Speaker 3:
[40:37] For me, bro, I actually genuinely don't buy shit. I don't buy a lot of shit.

Speaker 4:
[40:41] Yes, you do.

Speaker 1:
[40:43] You straight up do buy shit.

Speaker 3:
[40:47] Let's fucking try to pull one out.

Speaker 1:
[40:49] The Dodgers hoodie in a larger size that you didn't get.

Speaker 3:
[40:52] Oh, the Hello Kitty hoodie?

Speaker 1:
[40:53] Yes.

Speaker 3:
[40:53] The Utah's. I did buy that.

Speaker 1:
[40:55] That you haggled for.

Speaker 3:
[40:56] I know. We get to the Dodgers Hello Kitty night.

Speaker 5:
[40:58] You shook people down.

Speaker 3:
[41:00] It's Hello Kitty. And it's the whole reason I wanted to fucking go, because you get free Hello Kitty hoodie.

Speaker 1:
[41:04] It's honestly why I was convinced to go to.

Speaker 5:
[41:06] I've knocked it over like five times.

Speaker 4:
[41:08] Because it was Hello Kitty night.

Speaker 1:
[41:09] Yeah, because you get a free hoodie.

Speaker 3:
[41:10] Look at the Dodgers Hello Kitty.

Speaker 1:
[41:12] It's got Hello Kitty and Hello Kitty is a baseball player and has a little bow on the hood.

Speaker 4:
[41:16] I mean, that's awesome.

Speaker 3:
[41:17] And so we get to the stadium an hour early. I'm like, And then we get there and there's a person yelling like, no more audience, walk on through. But there's one section where it's like Primo seats and they have fucking boxes.

Speaker 1:
[41:30] There's literally boxes.

Speaker 3:
[41:32] And I'm like, I'm like, can I go through here? And he looks at my ticket. He's like, nope, go through general entrance. And so I go around through the general entrance. And then I try to go through the backside. She's like, no, no, no, you can't do that. And so then I start just flagging down every person who walks through and I'll be like, be real, do you like Hello Kitty?

Speaker 1:
[41:49] Yeah, it was a quiz. Yeah, this has the bow on it. The bow is embroidered, the rest is screen printed. It's honestly a shitty hoodie, but.

Speaker 3:
[41:56] It is shitty. It's made of such shit quality.

Speaker 4:
[41:58] That's some Redbubble vibes.

Speaker 3:
[41:59] I spent a hundred dollars cash.

Speaker 4:
[42:01] Damn.

Speaker 3:
[42:01] For one.

Speaker 4:
[42:02] They don't even resell that much.

Speaker 3:
[42:03] Well, these are knockoffs.

Speaker 1:
[42:05] I gave it to him.

Speaker 4:
[42:05] No, no, there was an eBay one.

Speaker 3:
[42:06] You know, it's a knockoff too.

Speaker 4:
[42:07] It is?

Speaker 3:
[42:08] Well, unless it's in the package.

Speaker 5:
[42:09] Why are you so sure?

Speaker 3:
[42:11] Because this website is.

Speaker 4:
[42:12] That's $40.

Speaker 3:
[42:14] Unless it's in the package, I don't buy it.

Speaker 1:
[42:16] 5XL. It also doesn't have the bow on it. Yeah, this shit's easy. You automate. You ask Claude to make this, and he will put all this shit together.

Speaker 5:
[42:26] There are like 50 rips of the Ludwig chili oil shirt going on right now.

Speaker 4:
[42:32] That, I think, is the way that shirt's meant to be purchased.

Speaker 1:
[42:35] Yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 5:
[42:36] So the shirt we made, we went through a few iterations of it, right?

Speaker 4:
[42:41] Oh yeah.

Speaker 5:
[42:42] And there's the...

Speaker 1:
[42:44] Can't stack all this up on one episode. We can't stack it all up on one episode. You can't have the hat. You can't have the fucking black cast gone.

Speaker 3:
[42:51] Let me get the hat for this one. Talk about it.

Speaker 1:
[42:52] Please.

Speaker 3:
[42:53] And I'm just gonna shake my head no, like I disagree with what he's talking about.

Speaker 1:
[42:55] Archie, can you black bar me out? I'm not a part of this.

Speaker 5:
[42:59] This shirt. OK, what's the what's the brand of chili oil called Lao Gong Ma?

Speaker 3:
[43:06] Lao Gong Ma.

Speaker 5:
[43:08] I shouldn't have asked.

Speaker 4:
[43:11] Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 5:
[43:12] The first pass of this shirt, we were like, yeah, we'll put Fat Ludwig as a parody of the chili oil.

Speaker 3:
[43:18] I was really against it.

Speaker 5:
[43:20] Jason, the designer, the designer of the merchandise, who is Chinese, who has his Chinese mother helping with the copy and the designs of the merchandise, comes back with a Ludwig full on Asian face parody of the merch.

Speaker 3:
[43:37] It was like that old Twitter guy who would make you black or Asian.

Speaker 1:
[43:40] He's not old. He's still around. The Lone Predator is well alive.

Speaker 3:
[43:45] I'm not that tapped in, but it was like that happened to me, but not one half of it.

Speaker 4:
[43:50] If a couple, if like two or three less people in the office didn't say something, I think that shirt would have went through.

Speaker 1:
[43:57] I don't think so.

Speaker 4:
[43:58] I was there when it was first being discussed, and I was like, it felt like I was 1v5.

Speaker 5:
[44:04] Really?

Speaker 4:
[44:04] It was crazy.

Speaker 5:
[44:05] It was the first thing I saw.

Speaker 4:
[44:06] I was like, guys, I love it. It is awesome, but it will not go over well.

Speaker 5:
[44:12] It was funny because Jason came back, and he's like, this is amazing. You guys need to do this.

Speaker 1:
[44:18] And you're like, Jason, please put yourself in someone else's shoes for a second.

Speaker 5:
[44:22] And then we showed it to maybe, I remember I would show it to people who would come visit the office. This is not the original.

Speaker 4:
[44:28] You know what I said? I said, the Asians are not going to be the ones who are mad.

Speaker 3:
[44:34] Yeah, it's going to be the white guys who are mad. That's the ones you need to worry about. The white people get real hotty.

Speaker 5:
[44:40] They come in droves. Jason, just because you like it doesn't mean we can do it. And then enough people came through. I was like, we have to change it. We just need to make it fat Ludwig. But then what happened is Jason loved this version so much. And he snaps a photo of it on hit and puts it at the end of his slides for the drop on Instagram.

Speaker 1:
[45:04] Stupid Jason.

Speaker 5:
[45:05] And then in the last panel is this version of the shirt that we cut.

Speaker 1:
[45:10] Is that how it got out?

Speaker 3:
[45:12] That's how people started posting it.

Speaker 5:
[45:13] And then somebody pulled it from Jason's Instagram and put it on Ludwig's subreddit. So it leaked. And I was like, who leaked this? This isn't even shot in our warehouse. I don't understand where this came from.

Speaker 1:
[45:23] I immediately thought somehow Nick Yingling did this.

Speaker 5:
[45:25] No, that's what I thought. We were in the office pointing at each other like Spider-Man. Like, who gave this to the press? And it was-

Speaker 4:
[45:34] Nick Serdall has someone inside Mogul Moves.

Speaker 5:
[45:36] And it was Jason the entire time.

Speaker 3:
[45:39] Do you have it? Send it to Zip.

Speaker 5:
[45:41] It's on-

Speaker 3:
[45:42] I can't find his Instagram right now.

Speaker 5:
[45:44] I think, is it iamjasonpun? Instagram?

Speaker 4:
[45:46] Uh-oh, a thousand new followers just hit the timeline.

Speaker 1:
[45:50] Jason's a good guy.

Speaker 4:
[45:51] He's a great guy.

Speaker 1:
[45:51] Just give him a follow.

Speaker 4:
[45:52] You gotta...

Speaker 3:
[45:54] Him and Sam Almond.

Speaker 5:
[45:56] He came through on the shirts. He came through on the shirts, man.

Speaker 3:
[45:59] Sam Almond's gonna come through with...

Speaker 4:
[46:03] Oh my god. In that hat.

Speaker 1:
[46:05] It's so funny that you said that on the China episode, which again, the lovely Billy, Billy Viewer was just kind of passed over. And then someone threw a Molotov at his house.

Speaker 3:
[46:16] Someone.

Speaker 1:
[46:17] It wasn't you. Anything that's not fucking sitting there reacting, listen to the howling dog, right?

Speaker 3:
[46:24] I didn't go to Miami, bro.

Speaker 1:
[46:26] Really?

Speaker 3:
[46:26] I just went. Actually, what I did is, and then I put the butt to it. You put the tip, you put the- No, I didn't fucking molotov his house.

Speaker 1:
[46:36] But it's hilarious that it happened.

Speaker 3:
[46:39] Yeah, it's a tragedy.

Speaker 4:
[46:40] It's a pretty cool thing to do, though. Not like where he threw it, but just like throwing a molotov.

Speaker 5:
[46:46] I think it is funny because there is that comment thread on the episode where you're arguing with the Billy Billy tourist and you're like, Ludwig literally threatened Sam Altman at the beginning of this episode. And then the person immediately said, yeah, but that's not a real thing that has happened yet. It's the same week.

Speaker 4:
[47:07] For context, for the listeners, that's how I, if I didn't need any more conversation, or sorry, confirmation that you were about it, when you are arguing with someone, who you have to physically press the translate Google option on YouTube.

Speaker 1:
[47:20] It's just a button click.

Speaker 4:
[47:22] To like see what they say.

Speaker 3:
[47:23] Well, let's not pretend five years ago, you wouldn't have gone to like a translate website.

Speaker 4:
[47:27] No, it's just like, to even argue with someone who's typing like fully in Chinese, and then replying back to them, like you love this shit.

Speaker 1:
[47:35] I just hate feeling misrepresented. I don't care if you're Chinese.

Speaker 5:
[47:38] Part of me was going through this, and realizing that you both are having this like beautiful, kind of nuanced conversation about the media that's in front of you both, in two completely different languages that you can immediately translate with the power of this button. And that was, that's kind of nice.

Speaker 1:
[47:58] It's different than it used to be.

Speaker 5:
[47:59] It's like that couldn't happen.

Speaker 1:
[48:00] And it's accurate, more accurate than ever.

Speaker 4:
[48:03] The amount of people who watched that episode, and maybe you guys already talked about this, but in thought, Ludwig was a guest.

Speaker 1:
[48:09] Yeah, we talked about that. It was hilarious.

Speaker 3:
[48:11] It was so funny.

Speaker 1:
[48:12] Unbelievable.

Speaker 4:
[48:13] Honestly, I wish I could have 20% of people who see the show always think that.

Speaker 3:
[48:18] I felt like a guest.

Speaker 4:
[48:19] So I could just fuck up Ludwig. So I could just read the comments every episode.

Speaker 3:
[48:21] With the culture shock talking to you guys. I felt like a guest in my own show.

Speaker 4:
[48:25] They were talking over you.

Speaker 1:
[48:26] Did you really?

Speaker 3:
[48:26] Because I couldn't even get a thought out, and I felt like I was coming.

Speaker 1:
[48:29] Why else?

Speaker 4:
[48:35] Do you like Slay the Spire?

Speaker 3:
[48:36] Yeah, actually, I have an idea.

Speaker 1:
[48:42] Hit me hard. Hit me hard and moan when you do it.

Speaker 3:
[48:46] Did you guys see the new MrBeast video?

Speaker 1:
[48:48] No. Obviously.

Speaker 4:
[48:51] I thought everyone had beef with him for it.

Speaker 3:
[48:54] I got beef with them now.

Speaker 4:
[48:55] Because he's like, what happened?

Speaker 3:
[48:57] Have you not heard about this?

Speaker 1:
[48:58] I haven't.

Speaker 3:
[48:59] So the new video is fucking insane.

Speaker 1:
[49:02] What is it, bro?

Speaker 3:
[49:02] The streamer one?

Speaker 1:
[49:04] Oh, is where he starves those people in the grocery store?

Speaker 4:
[49:06] Well, kind of.

Speaker 3:
[49:07] The opposite. Yeah, it's a grocery store. So there's a lot of food.

Speaker 1:
[49:11] And they're starving.

Speaker 5:
[49:12] It's the one where he surprises them.

Speaker 4:
[49:13] It's the exact opposite.

Speaker 3:
[49:13] It's a grocery store. They surprise them in the grocery store. He goes to this fucking grocery store, and it's just a fake grocery store. He bought it. He stocked it. And he said, half off all items. And he duped regular townspeople to go to it. Because they're like, half off, I'll go. And so there's like 100 people in here. And then he fucking walks in. He goes, I'm fucking Mr. Beast. I'm going to give the last person to leave this place 250k. And then like 70 people are like, I'm good. I'll leave. And they get free groceries. But then 30 people stick it out. And it gets ugly. It gets ugly because basically everyone's strapped to get everyone else out because they all want a quarter mill is to make their lives miserable in hell by like popping the fucking sleeping bag they're on.

Speaker 1:
[50:01] Honestly, recession indicator 250. What are we doing?

Speaker 3:
[50:05] It's low.

Speaker 1:
[50:06] You're Mr. Beast.

Speaker 3:
[50:07] But then but then video ends. There's four people who are basically like we're boys. We're locked. We're not fucking leaving.

Speaker 4:
[50:13] Mr. Beast is like, you have to fucking put our funerals here.

Speaker 3:
[50:16] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[50:16] We are not going to bury us.

Speaker 1:
[50:18] Yes. You have a set of Molotov to all of us.

Speaker 3:
[50:21] And so the end, this is what we fucking create. The end is he comes back and he's like, fine then. I got a million dollar fucking thing. If you guys wait a week, week passes. And he comes back and he's like, I'll give you each 250K. If you stay in here while I restock the entire grocery store and you can only leave once you've eaten it all. Bear in mind, bro, they were already in there for 67 days.

Speaker 4:
[50:46] Oh my fucking God.

Speaker 3:
[50:47] And then it restarts to a new challenge that they'll have to do for a year. They're still in there now.

Speaker 1:
[50:55] Them boys are gonna have sex with each other.

Speaker 4:
[50:58] He's trying to set this precedent that you can't break my games, because people have tried this stuff before. I think if he ever caves, then for the future of all MrBeast awesome pranks, then people are gonna be like, hey, if we all make a deal, we'll all come out of here with money.

Speaker 5:
[51:13] It's like the Hunger Games.

Speaker 3:
[51:14] But like, dude.

Speaker 5:
[51:16] It's like the Hunger Games. It's like the Hunger Games. The capital can't let them win.

Speaker 3:
[51:20] But he could just keep doing that, because then they could finish the year, and then he could go, My media analysis. He could go, guys, $4 million. Four million, one million for each of you. One more year. But you have to now have sex with each other on camera, each of you, over the course of a year.

Speaker 4:
[51:39] And you have to teach me how it works while you're doing it.

Speaker 1:
[51:41] You guys have to make a rhombus with your bodies.

Speaker 3:
[51:44] You could do it infinitely, because he has enough money.

Speaker 4:
[51:46] How long until he, like, human centipedes some people?

Speaker 3:
[51:50] Honestly, I think it's because you can't monetize that. I, here's my idea.

Speaker 4:
[51:55] He's got the uh-oh Scoob outfit on.

Speaker 1:
[51:59] He does. He looks like Shaggy. That's unbelievable.

Speaker 4:
[52:03] He looks like-

Speaker 1:
[52:04] Who told him Beige on Army Green?

Speaker 4:
[52:05] He looks like Shaggy.

Speaker 3:
[52:07] Here's my idea. It's a quarter mill each. There's this guy, Juan, Mexican dude, 50 years old. He's in there. He's got a kid. He can't see his kid for a year.

Speaker 4:
[52:14] Good as hell, Puff.

Speaker 3:
[52:16] We go in there, quarter mill. It's a month of the page, boys. And we go, Juan, we got a quarter mill. Let's break you out of there, bro. And we break him out. We fly down, we break his out, we have the bag, we go, come on, we got the money.

Speaker 1:
[52:31] What does this achieve?

Speaker 3:
[52:33] It breaks it, bro.

Speaker 4:
[52:35] Dude, you break it and we save him.

Speaker 5:
[52:37] We stop the capital, bro.

Speaker 3:
[52:40] We stop the capital.

Speaker 1:
[52:41] What do you mean?

Speaker 3:
[52:41] What is this issue?

Speaker 5:
[52:42] We're the mockingjay, dude.

Speaker 3:
[52:43] We're breaking Peta out.

Speaker 4:
[52:45] You're saying the second mans?

Speaker 1:
[52:46] What about these other guys?

Speaker 3:
[52:47] The second mans, Juan. Ah, fuck them.

Speaker 1:
[52:50] So it's like, fuck the other guys? I don't care to save MrBeast's slaves or whatever. I don't care.

Speaker 3:
[52:56] You don't care to save the Mexican dude?

Speaker 1:
[52:57] He owns them, and that's that.

Speaker 5:
[53:00] You're framing it in a weird way.

Speaker 3:
[53:01] Huh? Yeah, I'm saying you don't care to save the Mexican dude.

Speaker 5:
[53:05] I feel like.

Speaker 3:
[53:06] He's saying, keep whoever you got as slaves in the MrBeast grocery store, keep whoever you got in Riyadh, let me get on Billy Billy to argue in the fucking comments. I'm trying to make actionable change in the world. I'm trying to save a man, and you're saying.

Speaker 1:
[53:20] You're trying to save that man with ripped jeans, and he's that old.

Speaker 3:
[53:23] That's paint.

Speaker 1:
[53:24] No way.

Speaker 4:
[53:25] That's paint.

Speaker 1:
[53:26] I'm a bit salt of the fucking earth, isn't he?

Speaker 4:
[53:30] And you can see the boots too. He probably came from work.

Speaker 3:
[53:33] He did, bro.

Speaker 1:
[53:35] He's got amazing hair. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 5:
[53:36] He's going to stock the grocery store, and they have to eat everything in it?

Speaker 3:
[53:40] They're just going to sit there for 10 seconds.

Speaker 5:
[53:42] I don't understand.

Speaker 1:
[53:43] They have to live in the store, and it will take them a year to eat it.

Speaker 3:
[53:45] Yes. That is what it looks like now, and they leave when they eat all of that.

Speaker 5:
[53:49] And he's estimating that it'll take them a year to get through.

Speaker 3:
[53:52] Well, yeah, this video came out last week. I don't know how long it took to edit. They're still in there. They're still in there now.

Speaker 5:
[53:58] And so people are mad at him.

Speaker 3:
[54:01] People are like, dude, let them go. Because he could presumably just keep it. He could then, like at the end of the year, be like, guys, a million each. And then they'd be like, well, fuck, a million a lot.

Speaker 5:
[54:11] Is the alternative, like if they quit now, can they split the 250k four ways?

Speaker 3:
[54:16] No, definitely not.

Speaker 5:
[54:17] OK.

Speaker 3:
[54:17] I don't think that's very anti-beast.

Speaker 4:
[54:19] He wants one winner, one story.

Speaker 1:
[54:21] People are upset that he has just changed the rules of the game instead of being like, all right, you did it. Come on, guy, let me reward you.

Speaker 3:
[54:28] It could have been a sweet ending. He goes, hey, you know what? Y'all get fucking 100k.

Speaker 1:
[54:32] I've said this, bro. The teeth changed. And the teeth made him weird now. And he dresses like Shaggy and his slaves. That's how he lives. That's Mr. Beast. That's what he is. That's what he is.

Speaker 3:
[54:41] What can you do about it?

Speaker 1:
[54:42] And he meets MBS and he flies UAE and shit, and he flies around the Gulf states.

Speaker 3:
[54:48] He met MBS one time. He made one fucking amusement park and freaks out.

Speaker 4:
[54:51] One amusement park?

Speaker 5:
[54:52] Can a guy make one fucking amusement park in Saudi Arabia? Can a guy, can a guy do something fucking cool?

Speaker 4:
[54:59] And yes, can a guy take his family there for one vacation?

Speaker 1:
[55:02] Can I ask you, can a guy get fried dough? Yeah, please.

Speaker 5:
[55:06] At the Saudi Arabia Mr. Games slave building amusement park?

Speaker 1:
[55:10] Can a guy go to the fried dough and there's a Mr. B's head and you go into his mouth and the teeth are there as a roller coaster?

Speaker 5:
[55:15] He just... Would it be a big deal if I told the Yard patrons that the people who built the set were Nepalese workers that we stole their passports and they couldn't leave America until they finished building the set?

Speaker 1:
[55:28] Because when you lose your passport, you can't really go anywhere else. You're kind of just a John Doe and you get eaten or swallowed up by the system and you live with clothes as walls.

Speaker 3:
[55:36] Let me ask you this. I got a Hule question for you.

Speaker 1:
[55:38] Please let me. I'll get it. I got a Hule answer.

Speaker 4:
[55:41] A Hule question with an episode.

Speaker 3:
[55:43] Let's say Atriac does an MBS sponsored trip to Riyadh.

Speaker 1:
[55:48] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[55:48] Would you judge him?

Speaker 1:
[55:50] In Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 5:
[55:50] Atriac?

Speaker 1:
[55:51] I only would judge him if he didn't put the fucking screws to that motherfucker. If you didn't ask him the hard and fun questions.

Speaker 4:
[55:58] I'd be kind of confused how they got him. What kind of aircraft can carry... One that carries cars.

Speaker 1:
[56:05] It would be the USS George Washington.

Speaker 4:
[56:07] The one with the back opens, and you have to wheel it in.

Speaker 3:
[56:10] We gotta wait till we unblock the strait to get him in.

Speaker 5:
[56:14] He can't get through.

Speaker 1:
[56:15] Fat Atriac stuck on the USS George Washington in the middle of the Strait of Hormuz.

Speaker 3:
[56:19] He floods the strait.

Speaker 4:
[56:20] They're saying the strait is blocked by a man, actually.

Speaker 3:
[56:25] Colossus of Rhodes.

Speaker 4:
[56:27] He's the Snorlax that sleeps on the bridge.

Speaker 3:
[56:29] Yeah, he's the Poker Flute. But for him, it's just saying Luka Dantridge right now. That's probably it.

Speaker 1:
[56:35] The hangar door, it finally makes land in the dock. The sun hitting his face.

Speaker 5:
[56:42] He falls down like a silly buddy.

Speaker 3:
[56:46] He's in that fucking strait.

Speaker 1:
[56:47] It's hot here. It's hot.

Speaker 5:
[56:51] It's horny.

Speaker 1:
[56:52] Where's my dress?

Speaker 5:
[56:53] I want you guys to stop.

Speaker 4:
[56:56] He wears that fat grandma dress that they wear on the house, like the gown that you can also sleep in.

Speaker 5:
[57:01] What are you guys?

Speaker 3:
[57:03] He got a bonnet on too.

Speaker 5:
[57:14] It's not horny.

Speaker 1:
[57:15] It's fucking hot, he's sweating like a pig.

Speaker 5:
[57:18] You can't disrespect my co-hosts like this. You can't.

Speaker 1:
[57:22] It's only one co-host.

Speaker 3:
[57:23] Yeah, bro.

Speaker 5:
[57:24] It's only one? Well, the other one's a map.

Speaker 3:
[57:26] I would hate to.

Speaker 4:
[57:32] They don't like that one. They didn't like that one. I read them comments.

Speaker 1:
[57:36] Officer, I didn't know what fast was, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[57:39] I didn't even know that's where we were going. I didn't even know that this was a war.

Speaker 5:
[57:43] What do you think it's like for me making a show with a fat guy who takes a Riyadh check and a guy who says he's a map? I'm trapped. I'm trapped because Vox owns the show. I sold my thing. Vox won't let me leave.

Speaker 1:
[58:05] He's captive.

Speaker 5:
[58:06] So what do I do? What do I do? And you guys sit here and you make jokes about it.

Speaker 1:
[58:12] Like this is my fucking life. I'm fucking sorry.

Speaker 4:
[58:16] So I just got back from China like we all did. And I had to get that awesome app on my phone that we Alipay. When I got back, I somehow I couldn't read what the app does. I was trying to uber eat boba to my room and have a robot bring it to me. I subscribed to like eight different services.

Speaker 1:
[58:31] Oh, me too.

Speaker 4:
[58:32] I don't even know what they do.

Speaker 1:
[58:33] Dude, they sent me porn.

Speaker 4:
[58:35] They sent you porn?

Speaker 1:
[58:35] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[58:36] None of mine. None of mine were porn. Half of mine are like for like sports.

Speaker 1:
[58:39] They sent me boba and fully clothed porn.

Speaker 4:
[58:43] Fully clothed porn.

Speaker 3:
[58:44] Are you sure it's porn?

Speaker 1:
[58:45] Yeah, I swear to God, it's porn.

Speaker 5:
[58:47] I don't think it is. But I mean, if you wanted to see all these places you accidentally subscribe to in one place, you could get Rocket Money.

Speaker 4:
[58:55] Dude, that's how I found out is we've talked about it so much. I had it and I was like, I'm going to open it and see what's in there. And it was all the other shit was a Mandarin, bro. And I was like, what the hell is all this? When did I subscribe to these?

Speaker 3:
[59:06] And with Rocket Money, you can cancel the Mandarin. Well, cancel all of it, cancel the spending.

Speaker 5:
[59:12] It'll cancel the subscriptions and the spending.

Speaker 1:
[59:14] I appreciate what Rocket Money can do and has done for all of us. But I'm going to be the first one to say in this ad read, I'll be keeping all the things that I subscribe to.

Speaker 3:
[59:23] Well, and what did you subscribe to again?

Speaker 1:
[59:25] Clothed porn.

Speaker 3:
[59:27] I just don't know if it's porn.

Speaker 1:
[59:28] It has to be.

Speaker 4:
[59:29] The one thing that I do know is that Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings, which is what I'm trying to do right now.

Speaker 3:
[59:39] And like Nick, solve your Chinese problem with Rocket Money. Not at rocketmoney.com/theyard.

Speaker 4:
[59:44] Not like an overarching problem. It's like a specific problem.

Speaker 5:
[59:47] That's rocketmoney.com/theyard. Just monitor your subscriptions, probably to streaming services, not clothed porn.

Speaker 1:
[59:54] Okay, I know it's porn because I'm attracted to it.

Speaker 3:
[59:58] Well, then that would make Pokemon porn for me.

Speaker 4:
[60:03] Now let's get back to your weekly clothed porn of The Yard podcast.

Speaker 3:
[60:06] Can I give you an out?

Speaker 5:
[60:07] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[60:08] How much?

Speaker 5:
[60:08] Anything.

Speaker 3:
[60:09] And just be honest. How much, I get you out of this whole situation, would it cost for me to put you in a grocery store? You got to eat your way out.

Speaker 1:
[60:17] Yeah. You earn your freedom.

Speaker 3:
[60:19] It would take you, let's just say a year, and you have to eat like 3,000 calories a day. Right.

Speaker 5:
[60:24] Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:
[60:25] He hates eating already.

Speaker 3:
[60:26] We'd have one treadmill there.

Speaker 1:
[60:30] What treadmill? You can run laps.

Speaker 3:
[60:32] We'd have one track there.

Speaker 1:
[60:34] We'd save some power.

Speaker 3:
[60:34] Painted with spray paint.

Speaker 5:
[60:35] I don't think I would do that for any amount of money.

Speaker 3:
[60:39] 40 billion dollars.

Speaker 1:
[60:41] A one billion dollars? kill yourself. Of course you would.

Speaker 5:
[60:44] A billion.

Speaker 1:
[60:44] A billion. Aiden, it's a billion dollars.

Speaker 5:
[60:47] It's a lost year of my life.

Speaker 1:
[60:49] Oh my God. I lost a year of my life playing, watching Deadwood.

Speaker 4:
[60:54] Would you take 40 billion to delete a year off the back end of your life?

Speaker 3:
[60:58] Oh. Oh.

Speaker 4:
[61:00] Actually, let me and you don't give a fuck about that year very much, man.

Speaker 3:
[61:03] Let me let me see the pie here. Let me see the pie.

Speaker 5:
[61:05] I take it.

Speaker 4:
[61:06] I take it immediately.

Speaker 5:
[61:07] Can I keep it a sack? Not not anymore.

Speaker 4:
[61:11] Oh, he's trying to say he's rich. Rich.

Speaker 3:
[61:13] I give it up.

Speaker 5:
[61:14] I'm saying pre.

Speaker 3:
[61:16] I give you. I give you 100 mil plus citizenship anywhere in the world for you and a plus one instance citizenship.

Speaker 4:
[61:25] Hey, citizenship everywhere in the world. Whoa, you get the ultimate passport and and and you get the you get the flipper zero chip installed in your brain and you can speak all the language.

Speaker 3:
[61:35] You get to shoot one person in the skull. No questions asked.

Speaker 4:
[61:39] No, everyone knows it happened. And they celebrate you.

Speaker 5:
[61:42] You keep throwing in a little extra treats that aren't treats.

Speaker 3:
[61:45] Those are just a treat.

Speaker 4:
[61:46] That's a hundred percent.

Speaker 3:
[61:48] It's up to you to use.

Speaker 1:
[61:49] Oh, my God.

Speaker 5:
[61:49] And every and every day I would.

Speaker 4:
[61:51] OK, every new storefront has a bronze statue of you inside.

Speaker 5:
[61:55] I get 40 billion. I delete the back year off my life. Yeah, I also have to eat food in the grocery store.

Speaker 4:
[62:02] You just stay in your cafe, you got to eat your way out. And it's not all food.

Speaker 1:
[62:07] Also, you have to eat the makeup in the store, too.

Speaker 4:
[62:10] But you have to shoot through H-Rock to get to wherever you want to shoot. So you need like a 50 cal. I don't even know if that's fine. You might need like a bigger bullet.

Speaker 3:
[62:16] And are you fucking doing it? Are you fucking doing it?

Speaker 5:
[62:21] Well, now you've made it feel like a bit of my duty.

Speaker 1:
[62:24] OK, I think we had to clean.

Speaker 5:
[62:27] Here's the real answer to this question is I think I have a... I'm in a good spot and I don't want to lose a year of my life.

Speaker 1:
[62:39] For a billion dollars. A billion. You could buy one of these and fire him. You could make his life miserable. It'd be crazy.

Speaker 3:
[62:48] You could buy like so many CS knives.

Speaker 4:
[62:53] You could take away that year of your life and you could feed every homeless person in the world for years.

Speaker 1:
[62:58] Yeah. Think about that shit.

Speaker 5:
[62:59] If I want to look at the noble.

Speaker 4:
[63:01] Because you know what you did is you just thought, oh, how could I use this?

Speaker 3:
[63:05] Oh, how could I use this?

Speaker 1:
[63:06] Oh, no.

Speaker 5:
[63:07] A tiny weird sports car in a different country. Should I sacrifice a year of my life to help you?

Speaker 4:
[63:12] You wouldn't sacrifice a year of your life for all of humanity, is what you're saying.

Speaker 5:
[63:16] I would do it if it saved every human life.

Speaker 4:
[63:18] Girl, that's your choice of how to spend the money. It always was. We just said, well, give you the money. You just thought how you'd spend it on yourself.

Speaker 3:
[63:26] First thing I do, tampons in every Uber.

Speaker 4:
[63:28] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And every Uber.

Speaker 3:
[63:30] And that's 700 mil.

Speaker 4:
[63:31] And someone who can explain how you put the way most in the Uber, too.

Speaker 1:
[63:34] The way most wouldn't exist. I would see to that. We would get funding.

Speaker 3:
[63:37] We bought out Waymo. They're dead.

Speaker 1:
[63:39] No, we didn't buy them out. We put a stop to them.

Speaker 3:
[63:42] We have a shot. John Waymo has been found dead.

Speaker 1:
[63:46] Part of your grocery store deal. You have to fund my paramilitary group.

Speaker 5:
[63:50] I would.

Speaker 1:
[63:51] To kill the Waymos.

Speaker 3:
[63:53] What the?

Speaker 1:
[63:54] Waymo is valued at $126 billion.

Speaker 3:
[63:56] Valuations are so fake.

Speaker 1:
[63:57] The thing is, though, is I can take the company down with way less than that.

Speaker 4:
[64:01] I didn't know Google owned a majority of Waymo. I didn't know that.

Speaker 3:
[64:06] Yeah, I think they gave up on their own car a while ago.

Speaker 4:
[64:10] That was a thing, wasn't it?

Speaker 5:
[64:11] No, they owned things.

Speaker 3:
[64:12] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[64:13] The Google Lamborghini.

Speaker 5:
[64:15] Apple was working on a car, too.

Speaker 3:
[64:16] I got the Google Lamborghini.

Speaker 5:
[64:19] Would you guys take it?

Speaker 3:
[64:21] 100%.

Speaker 5:
[64:22] You would take the grocery store thing.

Speaker 1:
[64:24] See, I'm older, too. It kind of sucks. Like, if I took this deal, I come out of there at 37 years old. That's kind of scary. Of course I would do it, because then I would make your life miserable.

Speaker 4:
[64:33] Yeah, I would use the money to hurt you.

Speaker 1:
[64:35] OK. Dude, I would do crazy shit to your life, and you couldn't stop. I would hire people to follow you around forever.

Speaker 3:
[64:43] I'd say never touch, but be close.

Speaker 1:
[64:45] Never touch, but make sure he always knows you're there. I would do that, bro.

Speaker 5:
[64:50] Dude, time is all we got.

Speaker 1:
[64:54] Yeah, but money is all we got too, bitch.

Speaker 4:
[64:56] Yeah, I'd give like a $4 billion donation to the Swedish government and change the law to emigrate there. You have to like fuck like a monkey on like the news.

Speaker 5:
[65:04] Right.

Speaker 4:
[65:05] And everyone has to watch it. You would get like an email from the Swedish government. Sorry, your application has actually been extended.

Speaker 3:
[65:12] You think that's 4 mil?

Speaker 4:
[65:13] I said 4 bil. He said 4 bil. All of it. He said 4 bil.

Speaker 3:
[65:16] It's all going to make the only thing he wants have really high consequences. How much is IKEA worth?

Speaker 5:
[65:23] More than 4 bil, surely.

Speaker 3:
[65:24] I'm going to go 28 bil.

Speaker 4:
[65:26] I'm going to go 60 bil.

Speaker 5:
[65:29] Show me 35.

Speaker 1:
[65:30] I don't care. 45 pounds?

Speaker 3:
[65:34] Wow, wow. 60 was close.

Speaker 4:
[65:35] I'm 15 off.

Speaker 1:
[65:36] Why is it in pounds?

Speaker 3:
[65:37] No, no, you're way closer because that's euros.

Speaker 1:
[65:40] Why is it in euro pounds?

Speaker 3:
[65:41] Because it's...

Speaker 5:
[65:42] It's probably because it's a European company.

Speaker 3:
[65:44] It says 25 there. All the numbers are wrong. Fuck AI.

Speaker 1:
[65:49] I heard his shit.

Speaker 4:
[65:50] Has Lil B made a song cursing AI yet? That might say, that could fix everything.

Speaker 3:
[65:54] God, I hate AI.

Speaker 1:
[65:57] You hate AI now.

Speaker 3:
[65:58] man.

Speaker 1:
[65:58] Now you hate it, what? Now you're in tight. He's fucking pandering. What do I do with all these values? What do I do with all these fucking principles?

Speaker 3:
[66:22] Is this fucking wrong?

Speaker 1:
[66:24] My shooter blast Chinese glocks, bro. My shooter got an elevator in his house.

Speaker 4:
[66:28] We chop sticks. Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1:
[66:34] For him, that's just a day at the office.

Speaker 5:
[66:37] That's kind of cool. Do you do this show too late, man?

Speaker 4:
[66:41] Why? You don't like the show late? I like the show late.

Speaker 5:
[66:43] Do this too late.

Speaker 3:
[66:44] What's your schedule right now? Because every time I'm like, yo, can we do the show at 10 a.m.? Nick's like, you fought back on it.

Speaker 5:
[66:49] Yeah, I was surprised.

Speaker 1:
[66:51] I appreciated it.

Speaker 4:
[66:52] I was so reasonable.

Speaker 3:
[66:53] But you've been doing it like weeks in a row now.

Speaker 4:
[66:55] I feel, and tell me if you think this is unfair, I feel we mold to your life quite a bit. A lot of the scheduling of what we do molds to your life. So you were like, I want to do it at 10. Sometimes when you say 10, it's just 10, 10's the law. It's 10 now. But I said, you know, I have agency in this world. I'd like 11.

Speaker 1:
[67:12] Did you do this on GP?

Speaker 4:
[67:14] On GP.

Speaker 1:
[67:15] General principle.

Speaker 4:
[67:16] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[67:16] You didn't even need a half hour. You fought for 10.30.

Speaker 4:
[67:19] Well, no, because like to go to get here at 10 is to like wake up at 8.30. And I just didn't want to wake up at 8.30 because I got to shower, I got to get ready and stuff. I just didn't want to wake up at 8.30. I'd rather wake up at 9.30.

Speaker 3:
[67:30] Okay. And I think you have agency and I think you should have.

Speaker 4:
[67:34] I didn't say no, I won't do it. I said 11 is better for me, but if it's not possible, I can do 10.

Speaker 5:
[67:39] You guys, I think that's super fair. You guys negotiated.

Speaker 1:
[67:41] Yeah, you did this off camera, which I didn't like.

Speaker 4:
[67:43] It was on stream.

Speaker 5:
[67:44] It was on camera.

Speaker 4:
[67:45] It was on stream.

Speaker 1:
[67:46] What? I thought you did it DM-wise.

Speaker 4:
[67:48] I came in the chat, I was making fun of Aiden in chat, and then Ludwig airs me out, and he says, tell me the truth, why do you want to fucking do 10, bro? I said, don't ask questions you don't want to fucking answer to. And then he met me at 10.30, and I said, preesh, preesh.

Speaker 3:
[68:00] The only reason I'm not trying to move it up, just so I can, it's cause I had to do the thing with Michael initially, and then my whole schedule got.

Speaker 4:
[68:08] So then you reply, you say it's not possible, and I go, all right.

Speaker 3:
[68:11] But I'm, you know, and I'm.

Speaker 4:
[68:11] It's Eat a Dick Monday, and I'm the, I'm first in line.

Speaker 1:
[68:14] Eat a Dick Monday, and he's throwing it all.

Speaker 5:
[68:16] Eat a Dick Monday.

Speaker 4:
[68:17] And I brought horseradish.

Speaker 1:
[68:19] Eat the balls too.

Speaker 3:
[68:20] Yep.

Speaker 4:
[68:20] The balls are seconds.

Speaker 3:
[68:21] I just feel like, dessert. I feel like sometimes, and we met in the middle here, my reason's a little better.

Speaker 1:
[68:30] Your reason's a little better. You just don't want to get up early.

Speaker 5:
[68:34] Sometimes for your job, you just gotta get up early.

Speaker 4:
[68:36] Yeah, I'm just, I'm funnier if I'm not tired.

Speaker 1:
[68:39] That's a good point.

Speaker 3:
[68:40] I mean, I did think about that.

Speaker 1:
[68:41] The show suffers.

Speaker 4:
[68:42] That's why I want to do it. Because I don't want to show up and not be fun.

Speaker 1:
[68:45] He's a little cranko.

Speaker 5:
[68:46] Why did you want to do it at 10?

Speaker 3:
[68:48] Because I had initially the Michael thing at one.

Speaker 5:
[68:51] Word.

Speaker 1:
[68:51] It's funny because sometimes he makes these demands, and it's like, oh, can we do it like an hour earlier? But then you know what ends up happening? He sits on his fucking phone on that couch for 40 minutes, and it's like, what was this for?

Speaker 4:
[69:03] Give me the beat boys and free my Chinese.

Speaker 3:
[69:06] What a fabrication.

Speaker 5:
[69:07] It is a bit of a fabrication. I will say, he doesn't generally do that, but here's the truth of it. Here's the real dark, twisted truth. When's the last time you requested an early time slot that you showed up on time?

Speaker 3:
[69:23] Literally last week.

Speaker 1:
[69:24] Kill shot.

Speaker 3:
[69:25] Bang.

Speaker 1:
[69:26] Kill shot.

Speaker 4:
[69:27] Bang.

Speaker 3:
[69:28] Last week.

Speaker 1:
[69:28] When?

Speaker 3:
[69:29] Literally the last week, it's Monday, we record.

Speaker 1:
[69:32] I don't remember what time it was.

Speaker 4:
[69:33] I don't remember a sharp sharp in a long time.

Speaker 3:
[69:35] He wasn't there.

Speaker 4:
[69:36] Oh, well, if I wasn't there, I wasn't there.

Speaker 3:
[69:38] I was here. Sharp sharp.

Speaker 5:
[69:39] What happened to my here?

Speaker 1:
[69:41] Here's your real argument. Even if that's true, it hasn't been true for the past, like 90 times.

Speaker 3:
[69:47] Well, that's the thing about you guys. It's like fucking are we living in the past? Like, should we be here before like fucking gay marriage? So you know, I mean, it was the other way.

Speaker 4:
[69:57] It was the other way.

Speaker 5:
[69:59] And I said, and I said, we need to start the primo. This is I said yes to a Ludwig schedule change. I said, as long as we start at one razor, cheddar, sharp.

Speaker 1:
[70:10] You use a lot of adjectives.

Speaker 5:
[70:11] I used a new term.

Speaker 4:
[70:12] Well, no, because sharp died. And then razor sharp.

Speaker 5:
[70:14] Because sharp's dead.

Speaker 4:
[70:15] Razor sharp was on the way out. Sharp's been dead.

Speaker 5:
[70:17] I would say sharp's been dead for years.

Speaker 3:
[70:18] We gotta move on from the razor sharp, the fucking timer record combo. No, no, but that was the thing.

Speaker 5:
[70:22] Hold on, that's the thing. I moved on. I said razor, cheddar, sharp.

Speaker 4:
[70:26] Are you saying cheddar or cheddar?

Speaker 5:
[70:28] Cheddar. Cheddar.

Speaker 4:
[70:30] Cheddar.

Speaker 5:
[70:30] Cheddar.

Speaker 1:
[70:31] Cheddar.

Speaker 3:
[70:32] Cheddar. Cheddar.

Speaker 5:
[70:32] And I said razor, cheddar, sharp, because I needed to be done in time for a meeting that I could not move.

Speaker 1:
[70:39] Oh, it was like seven hours late.

Speaker 5:
[70:41] Which was one. I was like, we need to start. We need to start at one. And Ludwig was so late that I got to do the meeting. And then we did the episode.

Speaker 1:
[70:52] I was here the whole time. It was crazy.

Speaker 4:
[70:54] If I could also just share it because another Ludwig was late conversation. But if I could share an anecdote.

Speaker 3:
[71:00] No, let's share it.

Speaker 4:
[71:02] We're back! From the stream where me and Ludwig, we made a deal. Aiden was asking Ludwig to play CS with him in chat. Ludwig was replying to everything Aiden was saying. Aiden asked to play CS. No reply. Tim pins the message.

Speaker 1:
[71:17] Tim will do that too.

Speaker 4:
[71:18] Ludwig still ignores it. I go in chat and I say...

Speaker 5:
[71:20] Tim pinned the message?

Speaker 4:
[71:22] It was pinned for like 20 minutes. I go to chat and I'm like, yeah, Aiden, you're a bitch, bro. It's because you're so beta. It's because you're so beta and you want it so bad. Lud ignores all this. And then he cues his own game. Without Aiden? Without Aiden. It's fine.

Speaker 3:
[71:38] Why am I gonna play with the AWP?

Speaker 5:
[71:40] The AWP?

Speaker 4:
[71:42] You are the AWP.

Speaker 3:
[71:43] You're the AWP.

Speaker 5:
[71:43] Why am I the AWP?

Speaker 3:
[71:44] Because we're running a CS journey that you set up, okay? Did a mid job. We'll talk about it.

Speaker 1:
[71:51] What the?

Speaker 3:
[71:52] There's a lot we need to talk about, but.

Speaker 1:
[71:53] There's a lot to talk about.

Speaker 3:
[71:54] He did mid? He did alright.

Speaker 5:
[71:56] He did? Tell me.

Speaker 3:
[71:57] I think he did his job, but it's a conversation for a future day.

Speaker 4:
[72:01] Don't say anything. You think he wanted to play in it a little too bad?

Speaker 3:
[72:04] No, no, no, no. Well, I do think he wants to win it.

Speaker 4:
[72:08] Oh, he definitely wants to win it.

Speaker 5:
[72:09] Why would I not want to win?

Speaker 3:
[72:10] Well, I'm just, okay.

Speaker 4:
[72:13] This is the talking gun, okay? Ludwig? You got the talking gun.

Speaker 1:
[72:18] No, no, no, no.

Speaker 4:
[72:19] The talking gun that's killed himself.

Speaker 1:
[72:20] I told you it should not have been the gun.

Speaker 5:
[72:22] Sorry, the Ludwig interview. Ludwig interview, let him speak. Let him finish his thought.

Speaker 3:
[72:25] So, we're fucking setting up this tournament. This is a draft with the captains. Aiden's in the group chat with the captains, and they have some information on who the players are and their general rank by skill level.

Speaker 5:
[72:38] Information that I compiled?

Speaker 3:
[72:40] Yeah, yeah, as part of the organizer. Separate from being a player. Information like, you know, hey, these people are 10k plus, these people are 15k plus for their premier rating.

Speaker 1:
[72:49] Dipping your dick in a little T.O.ing, aren't you?

Speaker 3:
[72:51] And so he's a TO here, but then he pops in and he goes, by the way, me and Nick Yingling have really good synergy together. So if anyone happens to pick us both up, it would be helpful.

Speaker 1:
[73:04] You're seated yourself in pools?

Speaker 3:
[73:06] He types this in the chat.

Speaker 4:
[73:08] Not in a public forum, in the chat.

Speaker 3:
[73:10] In a private chat that he had access to because he's the organizer of the captains. Hold on.

Speaker 5:
[73:16] Does it change anything? I actually do think this is a bit of a faux pas. We'll give this to you. I didn't give this. This was not unsolicited.

Speaker 1:
[73:23] Who solicited it?

Speaker 5:
[73:25] Nothing. One of the captains. He tagged me and said, Aiden, how much you play in these days? How good are you? And I said, I answered the question. And I answered the question and I said, by the way, Nick Yingling, me and him play on the same team.

Speaker 1:
[73:39] I'll say this. You can't talk to a guy like that and manipulate him just because he's balding. You can't do that.

Speaker 3:
[73:45] Can you pull up my Twitter? Can you pull up the old twat?

Speaker 1:
[73:49] Cause that wouldn't work on me. And it sure won't work on Jordan Nothing Gilbert, the flash bang dance.

Speaker 3:
[73:53] Well, Jordan Nothing Gilbert was part of the draft, along with Shroud and Flom.

Speaker 4:
[73:59] And you can't put that kind of weight on Nick Yingling's shoulder, bro. He'll crack.

Speaker 1:
[74:03] This could be lit. I didn't know he'd be where he was going.

Speaker 5:
[74:05] Can I not say that the other captains drafted horribly?

Speaker 3:
[74:08] Scroll down just a little bit. Well, that's my team. Shroud did no research.

Speaker 4:
[74:13] I think the Masayoshi team is going to clear. Can I say that?

Speaker 3:
[74:17] Well, let's just scroll down, actually, to the important part.

Speaker 1:
[74:19] Oh, you got me young on the team. She didn't play Hearthstone on the other team.

Speaker 4:
[74:22] Don't get me wrong. This team is strong.

Speaker 3:
[74:24] First two picks for Jordan Nothing Gilbert, who got this information from Aiden.

Speaker 1:
[74:29] Nasty shit.

Speaker 3:
[74:29] Aiden Calvin and Nick Yingling.

Speaker 5:
[74:31] Hold on.

Speaker 1:
[74:31] That's nasty.

Speaker 4:
[74:33] Most peptides per capita as well.

Speaker 5:
[74:35] He was the fourth pick.

Speaker 3:
[74:38] In a snake draft.

Speaker 5:
[74:39] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[74:40] But I'm just he might not have. I don't think he would have.

Speaker 5:
[74:42] Oh, sorry. The first three captains fucked up. They didn't use the data.

Speaker 3:
[74:46] I don't think he would have picked Nick Yingling had he not heard that info from you.

Speaker 5:
[74:49] Yep.

Speaker 4:
[74:50] That picture of Yingling is really funny if you don't have the context that he's like in front of a mailer set up.

Speaker 3:
[74:54] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[74:56] You don't think about it all where he looks like a depressed guy.

Speaker 5:
[75:00] It looks like the picture of young thug in front of the computer.

Speaker 1:
[75:03] I'll say this, Aiden, if you have to just come correct, if you bet you game the system a little bit. Here it is. You better win.

Speaker 5:
[75:10] I said it was a faux pas. I did game the system. I want Nick Yingling on my fucking team. Otherwise, this event's a waste of time.

Speaker 1:
[75:16] I appreciate the honesty there. And I hope you win.

Speaker 5:
[75:19] It's either give me Nick Yingling or give me Nakey Jakey. And I need one of those things.

Speaker 3:
[75:23] And I get accusations of rigging my own events to win.

Speaker 1:
[75:26] From who?

Speaker 3:
[75:27] From viewers all the time. People say you rig them.

Speaker 1:
[75:29] the viewers for real.

Speaker 3:
[75:30] I'm just saying these are accusations I get.

Speaker 4:
[75:32] Scroll down to that damn Masayoshi team.

Speaker 3:
[75:33] And I'm seeing someone do it.

Speaker 4:
[75:35] Is this team not fucking stacked?

Speaker 3:
[75:37] Austin CS.

Speaker 4:
[75:38] Two of them have CS in their names.

Speaker 3:
[75:40] Aero CS.

Speaker 4:
[75:41] Quarter Jade and Masayoshi are really good.

Speaker 3:
[75:44] This team is good, yes.

Speaker 4:
[75:45] Like where is it? I guess, I guess Ray, but like where, you know, is that enough?

Speaker 3:
[75:49] No, I think this is a good team. This is a strong team. I think they have a shot, but.

Speaker 5:
[75:54] You should, I don't know. You watched Austin's stream last night. He's crashing out. That might not be your number one team there.

Speaker 3:
[75:59] But I also think, you know.

Speaker 4:
[76:00] The chem.

Speaker 3:
[76:01] Yeah, the chem, the CS experience is a little low.

Speaker 1:
[76:04] I see what you're saying. You're saying you are constantly get accusations that you rig events like the streamer games, which you did twice in a year.

Speaker 5:
[76:11] I think this is the second best team.

Speaker 4:
[76:13] And are you the first best team?

Speaker 5:
[76:16] We're the first and the second. And then this is the other team.

Speaker 3:
[76:18] That's so that's the second. And he's the first or the second.

Speaker 1:
[76:20] But really, Ludwig, the call came from inside the house.

Speaker 4:
[76:23] If you switched Ying Ling with another one of the, I guess, his pick would have probably... The team third seed or whatever. Do you still think you're the first?

Speaker 3:
[76:32] Because it probably would have been like Stable Ronaldo or... Actually, no, it probably would have been like Masayoshi.

Speaker 5:
[76:37] I think, oh, here's the real deal breaker for our team. Izanoko was one of the last picks on paper, but has actually gotten way better at the game since the rank data was pulled. So our worst player on paper is actually quite good and Courage is good, even though he doesn't play much. And then it's like there's no bad player on our team.

Speaker 3:
[77:04] It's a stomp. It's going to be a horrible event for the viewers.

Speaker 5:
[77:07] And all the other teams have at least one bad player.

Speaker 4:
[77:11] Wait, you're casting it, aren't you?

Speaker 1:
[77:13] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[77:13] I was going to say we should go and we could dress up as anti-Aiden guys. We could fucking cheer only against that team. And we could paint our bodies and our stomachs.

Speaker 5:
[77:21] And we could be like, fuck the Aiden team, they fucking rigged this.

Speaker 1:
[77:24] I'll tell you something, man, just me casting the game does not prevent me from doing this.

Speaker 5:
[77:29] Is it my fault that I put the little grains in the chat, that I put my hands on the scale and the first three captains ignore it?

Speaker 3:
[77:39] It's a good question. Yes, it is.

Speaker 5:
[77:41] Because can we not do a little insider trading? I'll say if Donald Trump can do it, if Le Orange Man can do it, if we can make a billion dollars insider trading on the war in Iran, I can't get Nick Yengling on my fucking CST.

Speaker 1:
[77:58] I will say this, Ludwig, do you think having Nick Yengling on his team is that much of an advantage? Yeah, really?

Speaker 3:
[78:05] Yeah, 100 percent.

Speaker 4:
[78:06] I think it's pretty important.

Speaker 3:
[78:08] I think it's very important because no other team has that.

Speaker 4:
[78:12] They'll also not be the only team with set straps.

Speaker 3:
[78:14] I think he flew out Nakey Jakey to have a miserable time where he gets fisted every single game, goes 0-3, goes home and he goes, Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 4:
[78:25] Is he coming on the yard?

Speaker 5:
[78:26] Yeah, he's coming on the yard.

Speaker 4:
[78:27] OK.

Speaker 5:
[78:28] Next week.

Speaker 1:
[78:28] Nakey Jakey being like, Yeah, that Yengling guy just swung me perfectly every time. Isn't it? Crazy. Unbelievable. I never had a 1v1.

Speaker 5:
[78:36] I tried to have a conversation with him about, I don't know, television and pop culture, and he clearly engaged on any point.

Speaker 1:
[78:43] I tried to talk to him about Iran, and he didn't really know what that was.

Speaker 5:
[78:47] He didn't know what it was.

Speaker 4:
[78:48] I told him I came on an airplane. He said, the thing that puts food in your mouth on a spoon. That's my teammate, by the way.

Speaker 5:
[78:57] We got a good kid.

Speaker 1:
[78:59] Yeah, his mouse pad was just streets and cars.

Speaker 4:
[79:08] He was sitting on his mouse pad on the floor.

Speaker 5:
[79:11] He's got a few hot wheels from time out. It's great.

Speaker 1:
[79:15] He went forward just with his arm on the table, just going... How did that make you feel, white boy? Now I'm on his side because you made me laugh so damn much.

Speaker 3:
[79:32] Just sometimes you guys indulge. Yeah, my team is above.

Speaker 1:
[79:36] Oh, right, right, right.

Speaker 3:
[79:37] Yeah, it's not bad except for the bad parts.

Speaker 5:
[79:41] It's it's really the problem with his team is that it's literally all people. I think me young plays the most counter-strike on this team.

Speaker 3:
[79:49] Yeah, well, I think the team skills quite high except for me. But the synergy of this team is the obvious, the worst synergy.

Speaker 1:
[79:55] That picture of Shroud looks crazy. It looks like the Easter Island head emoji. Which I guess is just the Easter Island head.

Speaker 4:
[80:03] It kind of looks like when you make yourself in a video game.

Speaker 1:
[80:06] It looks like he'd spent like an hour on content.

Speaker 4:
[80:09] When you scan yourself into Rainbow Six, you're like, yeah, I guess it's it's map. Ludwig's on there.

Speaker 1:
[80:15] I think I didn't know that this was so lit. This is gonna be fun.

Speaker 4:
[80:19] Do you think Ron will take it seriously?

Speaker 1:
[80:21] Absolutely not.

Speaker 3:
[80:22] I think when he's in the battle, I mean, I guess in the same way he took PSL seriously, right? Like he was he fried on some maps.

Speaker 4:
[80:30] Oh, yeah, he cared. That's true. He's a competitor at heart.

Speaker 5:
[80:32] I think for what it's actually worth is all of these all of these teams are even enough that they can just win.

Speaker 3:
[80:40] Fucking guy who rigged it.

Speaker 4:
[80:41] Guy who said I'm the best team.

Speaker 3:
[80:42] I actually think the event set up really well.

Speaker 4:
[80:44] Guy who said I have the best team.

Speaker 5:
[80:46] Because if I lose, it's like then I'm just wrong.

Speaker 1:
[80:49] To win was to not do what you did.

Speaker 5:
[80:51] I'm telling you what I genuinely believe, which is that these times are fairly even.

Speaker 3:
[80:55] If you win, you are in the wrong.

Speaker 5:
[80:58] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[80:58] If you lose, it's embarrassing.

Speaker 5:
[81:00] You make fun of me.

Speaker 4:
[81:01] That's beautiful.

Speaker 3:
[81:01] I wouldn't make fun of you. I would say I was wrong. I overestimated Nick Yingling. I didn't expect him, you know, to underperform or however he goes.

Speaker 1:
[81:12] And he cuts the salary in half, too.

Speaker 5:
[81:14] If he does badly in this event?

Speaker 3:
[81:16] I don't know if he does well, actually. It's the opposite. If he has a positive KDA, I got to go out back. I got to go. You can go.

Speaker 1:
[81:23] Hey, you think Stable Ronanllo will look me in the fucking eyes when I pass by him or not? No, no, no.

Speaker 5:
[81:28] Almost absolutely not.

Speaker 1:
[81:29] Typical. Can you do?

Speaker 3:
[81:31] You can say, hey Ron, look me in the eyes.

Speaker 1:
[81:33] I will. I'm going to be a problem at this thing.

Speaker 4:
[81:36] You guys are going to get so much... Some rolls. What's my roll? You're in it. What am I doing at the event? I can't wait to find out. I've been waiting this whole time.

Speaker 5:
[81:47] And it's like you have been playing Counter-Strike.

Speaker 4:
[81:49] And I've been playing recently. I got my rank.

Speaker 3:
[81:52] We actually do need a guy in the back on a Steam Deck playing Slay the Spire 2. Really?

Speaker 1:
[81:59] That's part of the event? Position at the blowjob factory. Got to tell my mom that I finally got a job. You were sick, bro. We assigned all these roles on the podcast the other day.

Speaker 4:
[82:10] Yeah, it must have been.

Speaker 1:
[82:11] It wasn't even an event until they started doing it.

Speaker 4:
[82:14] You guys came up with it last week. Fuck.

Speaker 1:
[82:15] Yeah, we just came up with it.

Speaker 5:
[82:16] You miss out on shit sometimes, you get sick. And it's like, it was mostly at the Dodgers game. And also Tommy Pham is coming through too.

Speaker 1:
[82:25] Yeah, Tommy Pham 1v1 Scouts Knives with Ludwig.

Speaker 3:
[82:28] I want to be the oldest person in the room.

Speaker 4:
[82:31] It's fine, dude. I don't even fucking want to be a part of it.

Speaker 5:
[82:33] They'd get Tommy Pham to do that 1v1, that Evo instead of Ludwig.

Speaker 1:
[82:37] I guess Tyler 1, I think is better than Ludwig.

Speaker 5:
[82:40] It might be worth.

Speaker 3:
[82:41] Dude, I did the fucking Rivals of Aether 2 Road to Evo tournament. I went 0-2, like dead ass last.

Speaker 1:
[82:49] You don't play Rivals.

Speaker 3:
[82:50] I know, but there's 200 DQs and I dodged all of them. Like I went genuine 0-2.

Speaker 1:
[82:54] You played people.

Speaker 3:
[82:55] I played people.

Speaker 5:
[82:57] You lost to accounts that made a DQ run.

Speaker 3:
[83:00] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[83:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's happened to me. It does not feel good.

Speaker 4:
[83:05] BeachCon 2017 melee.

Speaker 5:
[83:06] This happened. It feels bad.

Speaker 4:
[83:07] There's quite a lot of DQs.

Speaker 1:
[83:10] Yeah, you don't practice shit anymore. You were just too busy riding a bicycle.

Speaker 3:
[83:13] You're too busy, man. Le bicicleta.

Speaker 5:
[83:16] Because you have... Oh, yeah, what?

Speaker 3:
[83:18] Loxodon.

Speaker 4:
[83:18] The Loxodon.

Speaker 3:
[83:19] Logged me and Stango. He got first, I got last.

Speaker 4:
[83:22] It's so awesome seeing some melee guys up there. Yeah, Stango.

Speaker 3:
[83:27] Salted pretty well.

Speaker 4:
[83:28] Yeah, salted well.

Speaker 5:
[83:29] What place did you get?

Speaker 3:
[83:31] 17th or 13th.

Speaker 1:
[83:34] I love a bag.

Speaker 5:
[83:34] She's that good at rivals?

Speaker 4:
[83:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[83:37] Oh, can you do? Yeah, you don't play games. You don't practice shit. You just eat hot chip and lie.

Speaker 3:
[83:43] I'm stretched too dick.

Speaker 1:
[83:44] Yeah, whose fault is that? It's always been your problem. But now you said yes to too many things is literally not his fault. And I hate this guy.

Speaker 4:
[83:51] What do you think? So like, take your current melee skill.

Speaker 3:
[83:54] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[83:56] If you took an average gamer, average gamer, how much time do you think it takes them to beat you in a tournament set?

Speaker 3:
[84:06] It's a good question.

Speaker 4:
[84:07] From never played raw time, how much it takes them to get to your level and surpass you by just enough to beat you?

Speaker 3:
[84:14] Are they practicing like my matchup or just playing?

Speaker 4:
[84:17] They're just playing. They're practicing the matchups as much as you can practice any of the matchups. Like you just, you queue slippy, you got a friend who plays, like, you know, they're not like only trying. They're not literally watching your VODs and only playing against Puff and like, you know, getting coached by fucking Leffen.

Speaker 5:
[84:30] It's like, how much time do they have to play a day?

Speaker 3:
[84:32] Well, it's the question of just time overall. But so I have some info because I went to PSL.

Speaker 4:
[84:38] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[84:38] Super and Emily and we did 1v2s.

Speaker 4:
[84:41] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[84:42] At the set up.

Speaker 4:
[84:43] Dude, they were losing. They were losing to Passion Fruit in 1v2.

Speaker 1:
[84:46] You're Falco.

Speaker 5:
[84:47] Wait, they said they won one. They were so proud.

Speaker 3:
[84:50] I know they were proud.

Speaker 4:
[84:51] It's because they won versus your Mario, right?

Speaker 3:
[84:53] I went through my care. Yeah, I went Puff. Then I went Fox and I was like, all right. And I went Falcon. Then I was like, Passion Fruit.

Speaker 1:
[84:59] You went Captain Falcon.

Speaker 3:
[85:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[85:00] And to Lud's credit, this set up was like so laggy.

Speaker 3:
[85:04] It was like so laggy.

Speaker 1:
[85:06] It was nasty set up.

Speaker 4:
[85:07] It's in Dolphin and it's running at like 38 FPS. It's chugging.

Speaker 3:
[85:12] And then I went Marth.

Speaker 1:
[85:12] Bonzi buddies dancing around.

Speaker 3:
[85:14] I went Marth and then I was like, you know what, extra Emily, this isn't sexist, go Peach. And then I put Super on Marth. And then I went Mario and then they won and then they popped off and I was like, I shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 1:
[85:28] No, they needed that.

Speaker 5:
[85:30] There was a Lakers game on Sunday night and I go, like me and Ludwig were planning to go and then you couldn't go anymore and I show up, not realizing that, like I just kind of like, oh, I'm going to be like, I'm just going to be at the Lakers game now.

Speaker 3:
[85:47] Oh, you didn't realize they were going.

Speaker 5:
[85:48] And I go to the seats and Super and Emily are there. So I get to watch the game with them and they're proudly explaining like, yeah, like he forward smashed with Marth and I down smashed with Peach and we fucking beat him. Not giving any of the context that they had lost, like so many before that.

Speaker 4:
[86:05] Or the context that Super said, Nick, what do I do? How do I beat him? And I said, pick the sword guy and just hit the C-stick. Emily used the down one on the C-stick. I said, I walked away. And then they beat the Mario with that strategy. Was the Marth C and the Peach C.

Speaker 3:
[86:22] His recovery is tough.

Speaker 1:
[86:23] I think Super TF Marth isn't right. That's not where his heart is. He doesn't like that.

Speaker 3:
[86:27] To answer your question, I think it would take from raw, like Super TF skill level, like two months as his main game, maybe.

Speaker 1:
[86:40] Really?

Speaker 5:
[86:40] Only two months?

Speaker 4:
[86:41] No, put some respect on your name, bro.

Speaker 5:
[86:43] I think it would take way longer.

Speaker 1:
[86:44] To beat your Jigglypuff and Super TF.

Speaker 5:
[86:45] I don't think you're, could it be your puff?

Speaker 1:
[86:47] I disagree. I think Melee is an extremely hard game to learn, but we forgot that because we learned it forever ago.

Speaker 3:
[86:52] I don't really know how long it takes to learn the game anymore.

Speaker 4:
[86:55] I was going to say, do you think more or less than a year?

Speaker 3:
[86:58] Oh, less than a year.

Speaker 4:
[86:58] I don't think so, man.

Speaker 3:
[86:59] If it's his main game, a hundred percent.

Speaker 5:
[87:01] I think if he's playing, like, if he's grinding every day, I think he could do it in a year.

Speaker 4:
[87:07] Also, I say average gamer at Super is like a proven world champion.

Speaker 1:
[87:10] Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 4:
[87:11] I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[87:11] If it's extra Melee, it would take multiple lifetimes.

Speaker 1:
[87:14] Yeah, extra Melee is not going to make it happen.

Speaker 3:
[87:16] I don't think it's happening.

Speaker 4:
[87:17] You found a way to make it sexist, that's cool.

Speaker 1:
[87:19] No, no, no, no, I don't think I think it's just a gamer thing.

Speaker 5:
[87:22] Average gamer.

Speaker 3:
[87:22] Oh, Super?

Speaker 4:
[87:23] Oh, minutes.

Speaker 3:
[87:23] That's not what I meant.

Speaker 4:
[87:24] Minutes, maybe hours at most.

Speaker 1:
[87:26] Actually, I tried to get the benefit of the doubt there.

Speaker 3:
[87:28] I meant it how it was perceived.

Speaker 5:
[87:30] Average gamer, I was going to say, it would take like a year and a half.

Speaker 1:
[87:32] Super is not God's talent. He plays fighting games in his very mid.

Speaker 4:
[87:36] You play puff, which is like hard for new players.

Speaker 3:
[87:38] I also think it's easy for me to stay sharpish at, like sharper than I would if I was playing another character.

Speaker 5:
[87:44] I remember you were a hit away from beating Yangling at the Company Tournament a couple of years ago.

Speaker 3:
[87:51] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[87:51] It was, you took a game off me at that tournament. You've beaten Miles in tournament. Oh, that was a while ago. That was a while ago.

Speaker 3:
[87:57] Beaten Nick Allen. Beaten Nick Allen. And then he took, he took you for-

Speaker 4:
[88:00] But he got the prize pool.

Speaker 3:
[88:04] Took him for two games. Yeah, I guess I'm that guy, bro.

Speaker 4:
[88:15] You went lower, so we'd stroke you.

Speaker 3:
[88:16] I genuinely just actually forgot how long it takes to learn that game, because I actually was basing off how long it took me to learn Minecraft. But like-

Speaker 4:
[88:23] It's less these days. People learn mainly faster these days.

Speaker 3:
[88:25] Yeah, but I think people learn games faster, too. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[88:28] I think it's just the resource of being able to play online. I think that was the real hold up. Like in our- When we started playing, the real thing that held you up from approving really quickly is you had to play in person all the time, which means you could only put in so many hours.

Speaker 1:
[88:42] Yeah, people goon the fuck out in that game.

Speaker 5:
[88:43] Now people goon.

Speaker 1:
[88:44] It's just real.

Speaker 5:
[88:45] And you could do it. I think you could do it in like a year and a half year.

Speaker 3:
[88:48] Yeah, I think it'd be under a year for sure. Anyway, try now. Try now on your phone. Pick up Slippy for the first time today.

Speaker 4:
[88:55] I mean, like the Magnus Carlsen app, but for you. And it's like a puff that plays about as good as you.

Speaker 3:
[88:59] I need a video of you online showing you that your first day is today and then I'll play you.

Speaker 4:
[89:05] Can the guy who made Philip make Lud?

Speaker 1:
[89:08] A hundred, dude, a guy with Chachi BT free version could make Ludwig.

Speaker 4:
[89:13] Someone who's got Claude or a lot of real man hours of time. Make a puff bot that cues Slippy has studied. Can we get access to like all your, all your Slippy files that you've ever had? There are none. There's some. If you've ever opened Slippy and played it, you have files.

Speaker 3:
[89:28] Yeah, I got some.

Speaker 4:
[89:29] They will train a fucking bot to play exactly like you.

Speaker 3:
[89:32] You could find a bot that beats me tomorrow.

Speaker 1:
[89:35] Yeah, I think a bot that technology has.

Speaker 4:
[89:38] No, I'm saying a bot that plays like you and they play it. Can you beat Ludwig and Melee?

Speaker 3:
[89:43] I'll just play you, bro. All the farm to table.

Speaker 4:
[89:46] All of them.

Speaker 1:
[89:46] I like that.

Speaker 3:
[89:48] I'll play whoever makes the best video about it. Ah, most of them make bad videos.

Speaker 4:
[89:53] We kind of did this at Genesis, right? People got to play you, didn't they?

Speaker 3:
[89:57] I did. It was mashing. That was different.

Speaker 4:
[89:59] Oh, never mind. I thought it was Melee.

Speaker 3:
[90:00] And I swept the whole crew.

Speaker 4:
[90:02] It's true.

Speaker 3:
[90:04] That one, that one you could train to beat me quicker. By the way, you two fucking ignored me.

Speaker 1:
[90:09] What did I do? How do you talk to me like this?

Speaker 4:
[90:12] I didn't see it till it was too late. I saw it in the morning.

Speaker 1:
[90:14] How dare you speak to me like that?

Speaker 3:
[90:16] You ignored me. When did I fucking do that, I tagged the chat, because I know you guys both had chess arcs, and there's an opportunity to do a simul game against Magnus Carlsen.

Speaker 1:
[90:25] Oh, yeah, I saw that. I ignored that immediately.

Speaker 4:
[90:28] I wanted to do it. I saw it in the morning.

Speaker 3:
[90:29] Is that not crazy to ignore it immediately?

Speaker 1:
[90:31] I don't get it. I didn't get nothing from playing against Magnus Carlsen. I did not.

Speaker 4:
[90:35] I interpreted that message as really you asking me.

Speaker 1:
[90:38] I also interpreted it as take my table scrap slaves.

Speaker 5:
[90:42] I interpret it. Well, that's it.

Speaker 4:
[90:44] I actually thought it was generous.

Speaker 5:
[90:45] It's just so interesting.

Speaker 4:
[90:47] I would love to have played Magnus. I actually pissed me off that Atriac got to play him.

Speaker 3:
[90:50] Because Atriac was the fill eventually.

Speaker 4:
[90:53] It's just so sad.

Speaker 1:
[90:53] Yeah. And then he had to eat a burger in front of him, too. He probably disgusted Magnus so much.

Speaker 3:
[90:58] It was crazy that between every movie, he ate one more burger and Magnus lost because he was just guffawed. He was like, I can't believe.

Speaker 1:
[91:05] I can't believe he ate another one.

Speaker 4:
[91:06] Was his tweet real? Did he actually win?

Speaker 3:
[91:09] I don't know. I don't know how it actually happened.

Speaker 4:
[91:10] He tweeted that he won.

Speaker 3:
[91:10] But I'm assuming that was just a joke for sure. But I don't know. I didn't.

Speaker 4:
[91:14] I don't know if it was like a simul where like, oh, and he's fucking blindfolded and getting jerked off at the same time.

Speaker 1:
[91:19] I don't think there's a context in any game where I would value playing the best player as like some sort of showcase opportunity. I don't really care. I don't get. I know. And I'm not saying like no one should. But me personally, I'm like, I don't.

Speaker 3:
[91:33] There's no one you'd like be excited to to just fucking share the rift with.

Speaker 1:
[91:39] I think not really. No, I don't. I don't think I care.

Speaker 4:
[91:42] I would. I feel completely opposite.

Speaker 3:
[91:44] Yeah, me too.

Speaker 4:
[91:45] I would wait in a line. I'd wait in a line 10 people long to one V1 faker.

Speaker 3:
[91:52] Oh, I'd wait in a line.

Speaker 4:
[91:54] Any more than that. I'm like, I don't need it.

Speaker 3:
[91:55] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[91:56] I'm waiting in that. Yeah, for sure. And play Magnus in chess.

Speaker 3:
[91:58] This is no line.

Speaker 5:
[91:59] Is your opinion about this different 10 years ago?

Speaker 1:
[92:04] No, I never cared.

Speaker 3:
[92:05] Is it different 10 years from now?

Speaker 1:
[92:07] Well, yes. I'm in the grocery store. One billion dollars is coming my way. But you're Magnus. No, I don't think I've ever cared because it's like, I think in my mind, it's like, if I can't, if I'm getting dicked by Squid, then what do I get really about playing, you know, fucking, Look. Mango or something.

Speaker 5:
[92:27] I've been thinking about it. And I think we break that guy out. I think we go.

Speaker 3:
[92:33] And I'm going to use my free shot.

Speaker 1:
[92:36] What the fuck did I do?

Speaker 4:
[92:37] I haven't shot yet.

Speaker 1:
[92:38] Oh, you pointed me first.

Speaker 4:
[92:41] I didn't flinch. You pointed at me. I said, go ahead, because I want that.

Speaker 1:
[92:44] I didn't flinch either. I just mouthed off.

Speaker 3:
[92:46] Rotoscope a bullet through his head.

Speaker 1:
[92:48] What the fuck?

Speaker 4:
[92:49] You learned the word rotoscope.

Speaker 1:
[92:52] Every all, dude, all of Ludwig's fans learned the word rotoscope. It's all they talk about, because apparently the only editor on the planet is Cam. And all he does is rotoscope. It's unbelievably annoying.

Speaker 3:
[93:02] Literally had the best edit in the whole video.

Speaker 1:
[93:04] She did, she did. It was great. Her episode was the only one I watched front to back.

Speaker 3:
[93:07] It was a treat.

Speaker 4:
[93:08] Well, yeah, thank God Cam doesn't watch this show.

Speaker 3:
[93:11] Oh, I said it on stream. He heard it. I said it.

Speaker 1:
[93:15] Dude, they're using the word rotoscope on his subreddit in ways I've never seen in my life.

Speaker 4:
[93:20] Well, guys, we'll rotoscope you next week for another episode of The Yard, or in the Patreon if you're there when another episode come in your way, and we'll rotoscope you and your family as well.

Speaker 5:
[93:28] Oh, my fucking dick!

Speaker 3:
[93:34] Shit, and it's gushing blood!

Speaker 1:
[93:36] Jesse, it's on the van!

Speaker 5:
[93:38] put it back!

Speaker 3:
[93:40] Put it back in my cock!

Speaker 5:
[93:41] Jesse, you got the van all bloody!

Speaker 3:
[93:43] I'm losing the blood in my cock, Mr. White! Okay.