transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] What's up, everybody?

Speaker 2:
[00:01] Welcome to Flagrant. Today we are joined, this is our first time.

Speaker 3:
[00:04] It's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[00:05] Yeah. Yeah, this is wild. Tom Segura's on a posh today. Tom is a wildly successful stand-up comedian, podcaster, Italian bakery owner now. Very true. Okay. Very true. Which we'll get to this origin story. He first exposed Garth Brooks as a serial killer, I think is very important that we know. Allegedly. There's no sarcasm right there. That's an allegedly, so we don't get sued, so we don't either. Very allegedly. He literally created the Manosphere by probing up Andrew Tate. Confirmed. You know, that 100%. He has a massive podcasting studio business. There are all these things that he's managing. And he lost weight in the worst time in history because nobody believes that it was an honest thing.

Speaker 3:
[00:47] I know.

Speaker 2:
[00:48] And you did it honestly.

Speaker 3:
[00:49] And not only that, my buddy Bert went on tour. And on tour, in arenas, he would be like, Tom, jabbing Ozempic. And I'm like, oh, he's spreading the jam. I was like, no, good job.

Speaker 4:
[01:01] He says it on the top, Bert.

Speaker 3:
[01:03] Here's the thing. He was like, I never would. I would never do that. I was like, yeah, but you're fat. And then this year, he lost like 50 pounds with Manjaro, with the jab.

Speaker 2:
[01:14] With the shot.

Speaker 3:
[01:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[01:15] And people think it's because he was running 2.5 miles.

Speaker 3:
[01:20] It's crazy he's alive, dude.

Speaker 1:
[01:23] There's a, first of all, I love the 5K stuff that you guys are doing, but it's funny.

Speaker 2:
[01:28] My buddy said, my buddy Tim, that I'll leave his last name out. He goes, he goes, I have a buddy of mine who just, he just wants to get out of the house. That's his thing. So he started running 10Ks. And he tells his wife, he's like, yeah, I'm into these 10Ks. That's my thing. I gotta go to Sao Paulo and run a 10K.

Speaker 1:
[01:46] Are you going to Brazil to run five miles?

Speaker 5:
[01:48] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[01:50] It's crazy how much of a, like, I prepare every year to do the 5K, which is three miles, right? Like I have to like, no, and then I meet people and they're like, start running. But I'm saying like, I don't normally run. So when it comes to running, I'm like, I hate this, but I do it.

Speaker 2:
[02:10] Can't you just knock that out three miles?

Speaker 3:
[02:13] Not out of, I mean.

Speaker 2:
[02:13] It's like running to Midtown.

Speaker 3:
[02:16] If it's like a, if you want to actually like, not walk at all, for me, no, I have to like, actually do some prep, but I meet people who are like, what? And I go, they go, that's like a warm up. I go, not to me, dude.

Speaker 1:
[02:31] I think the whole point is anyone can do it.

Speaker 3:
[02:34] I think a mile, yes. For me, once I get into like, two and three, I can't just do it, I don't know. No, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 6:
[02:44] How much you run it?

Speaker 2:
[02:45] Nah, but like I can do that. Like I honestly believe that I could do a marathon.

Speaker 5:
[02:50] No, I mean, walking?

Speaker 3:
[02:51] No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5:
[02:52] In what time frame?

Speaker 2:
[02:53] I think on a slow, I think on a slow jog, I could get, yeah, I'm not going up.

Speaker 5:
[02:58] With a bike?

Speaker 2:
[02:59] No, no, no wheels, no wheels, no wheels, I could do it honest, but I think I could do it.

Speaker 3:
[03:03] So like, you could do the three miles.

Speaker 6:
[03:04] 15 minute mile? Like what?

Speaker 2:
[03:06] I think I could do the three miles, I could average it in eight minute mile.

Speaker 5:
[03:10] Really?

Speaker 3:
[03:10] That means you have really good cardio then.

Speaker 2:
[03:12] I think I could do it in eight minute mile.

Speaker 5:
[03:14] Right now.

Speaker 3:
[03:14] But eight minute is not, I mean, it's not elite, but it's not casual, dude. Like that's a pretty, that's a pretty good pace.

Speaker 2:
[03:20] When I was like younger, I could do like a long amount for an average in the sevens.

Speaker 3:
[03:26] Really?

Speaker 2:
[03:26] I ran a five minute mile once.

Speaker 3:
[03:28] Really?

Speaker 2:
[03:29] Not five zero, but within five minutes.

Speaker 3:
[03:31] But that's why the three mile thing is laughable to you. If you had a five minute mile, why don't you just lie? Why would I lie about that?

Speaker 2:
[03:39] If I'm gonna lie, I would say that I ran a marathon in like two hours.

Speaker 1:
[03:43] You ran a five minute mile.

Speaker 6:
[03:44] I ran like 559.

Speaker 2:
[03:47] 558.

Speaker 6:
[03:47] Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:
[03:48] Okay, well that's fine.

Speaker 5:
[03:49] Okay, I was running a mile.

Speaker 1:
[03:50] How old were you?

Speaker 5:
[03:51] What was that distinction?

Speaker 2:
[03:52] I was probably like 25 years old.

Speaker 7:
[03:54] That's about 17 years ago.

Speaker 2:
[03:55] No, no, no, I was in my thirties. I was in my thirties.

Speaker 3:
[03:57] Really?

Speaker 2:
[03:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[03:58] That's pretty fast, man.

Speaker 2:
[03:59] Yeah, got my other legs, man.

Speaker 3:
[04:01] Got my other leg.

Speaker 1:
[04:02] Look at these things as I stretch them out.

Speaker 3:
[04:04] Were you a good sprinter, too?

Speaker 2:
[04:06] Okay, not like incredible top speed, but like I could go.

Speaker 3:
[04:11] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[04:12] You caught up to that homeless guy pretty fast.

Speaker 2:
[04:13] Oh, yeah, there was a homeless guy that called me in San Francisco, we'll bleep that. And then, yeah, you can't call me that in San Francisco.

Speaker 3:
[04:22] No, I also think, too, that people might believe it.

Speaker 1:
[04:26] Exactly, it's like anywhere else I would go for it.

Speaker 3:
[04:28] You catch up to him?

Speaker 1:
[04:29] Yeah, I caught up to him. Uphill.

Speaker 2:
[04:30] Uphill.

Speaker 3:
[04:31] What'd you say?

Speaker 2:
[04:31] I fucking walked away, the guy's like, oh, homeless, please.

Speaker 1:
[04:34] You know what I mean? I got my senses to me. And also, uphill is hard, so by the time you get up there, you're like, I'm winded.

Speaker 3:
[04:41] There's nothing like going on a run, though, and seeing like, you're running, and then either like an old person or like an older, fatter woman goes past you, and you're like, nah, dude, I can't.

Speaker 1:
[04:54] And you just have to like, yeah, you gotta focus, man.

Speaker 3:
[04:57] Dial in, you're like, I can't let this happen.

Speaker 2:
[04:59] Just get them rinse. Okay, listen, Tom, there's been a really important development. The reason I started about all of your successes is because I wanted to let people know that despite all your successes, you have a crippling addiction to DMT.

Speaker 3:
[05:11] I actually had to put that thing away. So I'd heard about it for years. Did you know about this?

Speaker 1:
[05:17] I did not. This is not even fake.

Speaker 3:
[05:20] I heard about it for years, and then one of my buddies was like last year, he was like, you want to try it? And I go, yeah, I want to try it. So there's two ways you can do this, at least that I know of. One is you get like the real thing. So you can get weed or you can get like a vape pen. Got it, yeah. But DMT, both are also an option. You can get like the real crystallized, whatever it is, or a vape pen. So the first time I do it, I do the real thing with him. And the experience that I have is like auditory and some visuals and it is like a few minutes thing that then it's over. I go, yeah, that was cool. Like I don't have like some profound revelation, but I'm like, that was a cool experience. Somebody else, no sorry, same guy goes, hey, I have a DMT vape pen. Do you want to do that? And I go, yeah. So he gives me one. I'm on the road and I do it and I have the same kind of thing, where it's like, there's colors and there's some things. And then he tells me, he's like, you really gotta do a pull. You really gotta pull it if you wanna go there. And I'm like, I mean, I am. He's like, I got you.

Speaker 6:
[06:34] Those vape pens, you do a hard pull out of them.

Speaker 3:
[06:38] This is one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to me, is I had had two or three times with it where I was having that, I'll just call it like a mild experience, where I go, there's colors, there's things, and it's over, I'm like, yeah, it's pretty cool. I'm in some hotel on the road, and I do, I'm alone in my room, and I just, I go like one, two, and like the third pull is like, like as deep as I can go. My eyes are closed, and I'm like, I'm cold. I feel cold. So I'm gonna change, I'm gonna get up and change the temperature. My eyes were closed, I open my eyes, and the whole room is sketch drawn, right? Like it's white. Black and white. Black and white. I stick my hand out, this black and white, and I'm like, no. And I get up, and I'm looking, everything's, and I see a mirror, and I go, I get so scared, cause I'm sketching the mirror. Everything's black and white. Dude, I go up to the thermostat, and I reach out to it, and there's no way, and I just, I jump under the sheets, get in the fetal position, and I'm in a level 10 panic. Absolute panic. I cannot believe that I've broken through to what people are talking about. I don't know, it can't last that long, maybe 10 to 15 minutes. Once you get over the, I don't want to open my eyes, cause I don't want to see the sketch thing. So you start actually thinking about other things, and slowly open your eyes, and you're like, holy shit, it's starting to fade off. And I was like, that was the wildest experience I've ever had with anything.

Speaker 2:
[08:21] How long are we talking?

Speaker 3:
[08:22] I think this whole thing lasts about 15 minutes. Okay. Wow. But the sketch thing is not imagined, like it's really what I'm seeing. I'm like, that is terrifying. And then I do it again the next day. I do it the next day.

Speaker 2:
[08:37] Same hotel room alone?

Speaker 3:
[08:38] Yeah. And I'm like, I want to see if that happens again. And it does.

Speaker 2:
[08:41] It's the same sketch.

Speaker 3:
[08:42] The same thing, the same thing. It's just that everything in the room is sketched.

Speaker 2:
[08:46] What is in your subconscious?

Speaker 1:
[08:48] I don't know. Some people see God, some people see heaven.

Speaker 3:
[08:51] And then I start to go like, with this pen, I'm like, all right, I wait, I wait a few days. I do it again. I go, I wonder if I do it with not as deep a pool, what will happen? And it does become two different things. Like a mild experience or the... Well, I start doing and doing it. And then I tell the guy, I was like, yeah, I'm like, did it like four times last week. He's like, you really shouldn't do that. I go, what? He goes, yeah, you can get like, I think it's like serotonin poisoning, basically of your, or you're releasing too much of it. Right, right, right, right, right. So I have to like take the pen apart and I put one piece here and one piece at home so that I don't have it with me.

Speaker 2:
[09:29] It's like nuclear co-

Speaker 3:
[09:29] And I have to like break it with you.

Speaker 1:
[09:34] It is, it is.

Speaker 3:
[09:37] But I got, I at least got to the point where you could have an experience where you actually feel like, you have a, you know, your mind works where you shelf things and then sometimes you-

Speaker 2:
[09:50] Come to life.

Speaker 3:
[09:51] Yeah, and so I was able to have some experience like that. But it became, I wouldn't say addictive, but it like-

Speaker 1:
[09:57] How regularly?

Speaker 3:
[09:59] I mean, I haven't done it in months and months and months.

Speaker 2:
[10:01] But when you were on it?

Speaker 3:
[10:03] I was probably doing it like three or four times a week.

Speaker 8:
[10:06] Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5:
[10:07] Did you have shows that night?

Speaker 3:
[10:09] The next day. And you were cool. I was like, I hope I can remember it tomorrow.

Speaker 2:
[10:13] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[10:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[10:14] Hold on. So, all right. So, you're relegated to your only DMT experience is seeing sketch.

Speaker 3:
[10:23] Well, that and then having, once you get over the visual aspect of it, you feel you could have more profound thoughts.

Speaker 5:
[10:31] Do you have any interesting revelations?

Speaker 3:
[10:33] You know, I thought about like, there's just like people you thought about like my dad who died and things like that, relationships with people and having like almost like truth serum to yourself about it.

Speaker 2:
[10:48] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[10:48] That felt more profound.

Speaker 2:
[10:49] Kind of honest moments about what that was.

Speaker 3:
[10:51] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:
[10:52] And did you like talk to any of those people?

Speaker 3:
[10:54] No, I don't think I, no, I didn't talk to them. It was just, it was really more about like...

Speaker 2:
[10:59] I'm saying afterwards.

Speaker 3:
[11:01] No, no, no. It was, for me, it was more like facing those fears or realities in yourself.

Speaker 1:
[11:07] Right, right.

Speaker 2:
[11:08] And just for you.

Speaker 3:
[11:09] Just for me.

Speaker 2:
[11:10] And you didn't want to like go apologize to somebody.

Speaker 3:
[11:12] No, fuck them.

Speaker 1:
[11:13] No, no, no.

Speaker 2:
[11:16] It's just restorative for you and no connection to those people at all.

Speaker 3:
[11:19] I don't think it's so much that as much as you go like, this is something that I haven't really processed and I'm processing this thing now. Yeah. And it took this moment that was definitely enhanced. Yeah. To have that revelation for myself.

Speaker 2:
[11:37] The experience on DMT versus getting dosed by Joey Diaz and the real version, not what you-

Speaker 3:
[11:45] Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[11:46] Because there's the stand-up bit.

Speaker 3:
[11:47] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[11:48] And then there's what actually happened.

Speaker 3:
[11:50] He's such a fucking animal, dude.

Speaker 2:
[11:53] Can you tell us the actual?

Speaker 3:
[11:55] Because people know the- The actual thing.

Speaker 2:
[11:56] They know the stand-up bit.

Speaker 3:
[11:58] This fucking guy. So everybody was making fun of me because I like a mild edible.

Speaker 1:
[12:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[12:07] And people who partake a lot are always like-

Speaker 1:
[12:11] 10 milligrams.

Speaker 3:
[12:12] Yeah, so that's like, what are you, a bitch? You're like, but I like this, you know? It's like somebody being like, you don't- Why don't you eat your food hotter? Because I don't want it. I don't want to burn my mouth. They're like, what's wrong with you? They're like, I don't know, it's what I like. So I was telling everybody that I like 10 milligrams.

Speaker 2:
[12:33] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[12:34] It's like 10 millitons, they call it 10 millitons. So I'm in Miami and I have a show, and I see that Joey's also in Miami.

Speaker 2:
[12:44] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[12:44] I go, you're in Miami? I go, I have a show. I want to come see you. He's like, well, come over. I have a late show. Come see me here. So I go over to see him and place is packed. My sister comes, she's like, I want to go, I want to see Joey and I'm like, yeah. We're hanging out backstage in his green room. He's like, I know you're 10 milli, Tom, I got you some 10 millis. I go, really? He's like, yeah. He has a jar. He pours them in his hand. He goes, here you go. I go, because I know the Joey stories.

Speaker 2:
[13:17] Why would he even have a 10 milli? Knowing what you know about Joey.

Speaker 3:
[13:20] Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, I know he doses people. So I go, no. And he's about to go on stage. So he has like five of these in his hand and he goes, and he eats them.

Speaker 2:
[13:34] And I'm like, well, they can't be that much if he had five.

Speaker 3:
[13:37] You gotta perform. Yeah. I go, all right, I'll take one. So I take one and literally as I go down, he goes, oh. I go, what? He goes, nothing. I go. Come on, man. So now I'm in a, because he's not telling me anything. Oh, that's even worse. Yeah. So I'm like, what is it? He goes, it's 10. And I told you, I told you it's 10. I go, all right. So I go out there and I'm with my sister and she's like, what's wrong? I go, I don't think I just ate 10. I think I'm gonna be fucked here in a minute. And she's like, really? I go, yeah, there's no way. Well, he comes out and he does a show and he is murdering and on point and doing all his thing. And about 45 minutes in, I'm like, this isn't 10, right? This is not 10. And so as people are leaving, we're waiting to talk to them more. And then it starts to really hit me that I'm fuck. Like this, I'm comatose and I'm like, yo dude. And I'm like, what did I take? He's like, 10. He keeps saying, I'm like, this isn't 10, man. And it starts, I don't even realize this till later. Later on, I keep processing that he had five and that with like five, you can do a show. Like how insane that is to me. Cause I used to do, on the road, I would go on the road with Rogan back in the day. He would always be like, hit this joint. I'm like, I don't want to hit a joint and get on stage. I don't want to. He's like, do it, bitch. I'm fine.

Speaker 1:
[15:17] All right.

Speaker 4:
[15:19] One time, I'm in the bank.

Speaker 1:
[15:20] Your pressure, your 30 year old, is really funny.

Speaker 5:
[15:23] Also, you sound easy to peer pressure. As long as I do it.

Speaker 1:
[15:25] Or you're a bitch. You got yourself addicted to TMT.

Speaker 4:
[15:30] I don't blame that, Andrew.

Speaker 1:
[15:32] I think we gotta hear these stories from Joey and Rogan, too, where they're like, Tom was banging me.

Speaker 4:
[15:36] No, no.

Speaker 3:
[15:37] I definitely did not. I remember in Vancouver, I was with Joe, and we did the Vogue Theater, and at one point I'm on stage, high as hell, and I hate it. I'm like, every time I hear something, I'm like turning my head, and I get off, and I was like, that was awful. I was like, that was awful. He's like, what are you talking about? I go, the people were like, he goes, those were applause breaks. You were fucking killing. I was like, I didn't like that.

Speaker 2:
[16:02] No, it was raining in there.

Speaker 3:
[16:05] And then we went to Columbus, and I fucking bombed.

Speaker 1:
[16:10] Bad.

Speaker 3:
[16:12] Bad.

Speaker 1:
[16:12] Like worst bomb?

Speaker 3:
[16:14] One of the five worst bombs.

Speaker 1:
[16:16] How long?

Speaker 3:
[16:17] He was, it was one he would bring, it would bring like Ari, Diaz, like a bunch of us. So it was probably not that long. It felt like six years. It felt like the longest set of my life. But it was also, that's the club that Strupe owned. Club that's Money Bond, yeah, yeah, yeah. So for people that don't know, this guy owns a piece of a bunch of these clubs, but he was also the person that would book you into all of them. He booked like 20 of them. So they're like, you're gonna showcase for Strupe. I ate fucking shit in front of him, like so bad. And later on, I was like, cause when you're high, you don't, I was like, how bad was it? He was like, it was really, really bad. And he was like, I was like, what the fuck is this guy doing here? One of the worst sets I've seen in my life. And I was like, oh, thank you for the honesty. He was like, yeah, he didn't like say it at all. He was like, it was terrible, man. I really wondered what was wrong with you.

Speaker 5:
[17:10] Did you power through or are you on stage like trying to save it, like referencing it?

Speaker 3:
[17:14] I was, here's the worst part is that I'm trying to save it, trying to get going and I get off. And I remember I had seen, I think Ari Bam right before me. And I was like, how was that? He's like, it was great. And I was like, that didn't look great. You're only like, you're like.

Speaker 1:
[17:30] So now when you're bombing, you're like, I guess I'm doing great, like Ari was.

Speaker 3:
[17:34] Ari said this was good. This doesn't feel good. I mean, I didn't think what he did was good either. So I was like, this is a disaster. But I'm at that thing with Joey. And then I'm like, bro, I can't even keep it together. We have to catch a flight. And I have a guy with me who has to carry, he carries me. Like my arm over his shoulder. And he's like, walk me to the plane like this. And I'm like, bro, Joey's on the flight with us. And he's like, you know what you need right now? I don't want fucking anything from you, dude. He's like, you need a little Xanax. It evens you out.

Speaker 9:
[18:14] I take it, I take it.

Speaker 1:
[18:16] No, no. Tom, Tom, Tom, take it. Tom, do you have no ability to say no, dude?

Speaker 3:
[18:22] Well, I also.

Speaker 1:
[18:22] You would be an easy one. Just try it.

Speaker 9:
[18:25] Oh, just try it.

Speaker 3:
[18:27] Without a doubt.

Speaker 1:
[18:28] Just try it.

Speaker 3:
[18:29] You can talk, you can walk me into some shit for sure. But I'm also in such a pain. I'm comatose, but my paranoia and my anxiety is at like a 12. So I think like Xanax, I'm like, all right, like maybe this will dissipate how fucking anxious I feel. It does nothing. It does absolutely nothing. I sort of fall asleep and I wake up out of nowhere and I start talking about love on this plane, okay? I'm like, that's what we're all here to do.

Speaker 1:
[18:59] Who are you sitting next to at this point?

Speaker 3:
[19:01] This guy that works with me, Sean. Okay. He's like, yeah, buddy, yeah. And I'm like, right? And he's trying to talk. I go, shut the, you don't understand? It's like Bill Murray in Scrooge where he's like, you gotta feel it. You know it's there. I'm like giving this speech about love. And every time I look at Joey, he just goes, ha ha ha. He just starts laughing, which makes it worse. Cause I think I'm kind of getting somewhere.

Speaker 2:
[19:25] And he thinks that you're acting insane.

Speaker 3:
[19:27] Yeah. And he's loving that he did this to me. Yeah. So I get home and like, Christina's like, as I walk in the door, she goes, are you high? And I'm like, fuck, yeah. She's like, what happened? I tell her what happened. I go to bed, I wake up, I'm high. Like I'm fully high. The rest of that day, I'm high. I go to bed high. Yep. Jeez. And then the next day, I feel like it's weaning off as I wake up on the second, now almost third day. Dude. So I finally, I call him and I'm calling him to also be like, hey man, like that wasn't cool, right? Like you feel like I gotta say something to you. Like that was not fucking cool. So I call him, I go, dude, how much did I take for real? He's like, you took 200. And I go, that was a 200 milligram.

Speaker 2:
[20:22] So he took a thousand.

Speaker 3:
[20:25] And he did a show.

Speaker 8:
[20:27] Holy shit.

Speaker 2:
[20:28] And does he just have a slow metabolism or something? Like it hits him at the end?

Speaker 3:
[20:33] Because years ago, he gave me like a 20, like a 25. This is, we were also traveling to do a show together. And I was like, that was horrific. Like that was horrific. And I asked him, I was like, so do you, like, do you not feel that that doesn't affect you the same? He goes, what are you talking about? I almost had three panic attacks on that flight. And I go, so you also feel that? He's like, yeah. He goes, I like going there, I like seeing the devil, you know. So he's not, like, I thought he's just not.

Speaker 1:
[21:05] He's chasing the anxiety.

Speaker 3:
[21:06] He wants it.

Speaker 2:
[21:07] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[21:08] He feels that.

Speaker 1:
[21:09] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[21:09] And I go, bro.

Speaker 2:
[21:10] A life of crime will get you to that. Will get you to that.

Speaker 3:
[21:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah. To him, it's like invigorating. So it's not that he doesn't feel it, he feels it.

Speaker 2:
[21:17] He, like, misses the chaos. That's kind of interesting. Imagine, like, he misses. I miss chaos.

Speaker 3:
[21:21] That's exactly right. Yeah. And at the end, I go, hey, man, that, I go, so you give me 200. I go, bro, that was one of the worst 48 hours I've had. Yeah. And he goes, yeah. I go, so, like, kind of like, what do you have to say? He goes, you needed it. I go, what? Yeah. He goes, you needed a reset. And I gave you one. And I go, why did I need a reset?

Speaker 4:
[21:39] I was doing great. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[21:40] He was like, nah, it's good for you. Now, you start over. I go, this is just, this is just like criminal talk. Like, you need to learn a lesson. Yeah. You needed a lesson. And I gave it to you. And I go, what are you talking, this has nothing to do with anything.

Speaker 2:
[21:54] Being high for, like, multiple days, though, like, I remember in college and I'm going to date myself huge here because back in the day to have an edible you had to bake it.

Speaker 3:
[22:03] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[22:04] Like, you couldn't just buy edibles. Like, you had to, like, make butter out of wheat and then you would put it.

Speaker 3:
[22:10] I used to make the brownies.

Speaker 2:
[22:10] Okay, yeah. So then you'd make brownies, right? And I didn't even know that. Like, I thought you just cooked the wheat with the brownies and then consumed it. It's like, there was this whole thing where you're like, you're like, oh, you sprinkle it on. I had no clue what it was and I didn't even smoke wheat really that much. But I remember we were in college and then we made the wheat butter and we really, like, squeezed the juice and then we put it in and we mixed the brownies and I don't know if, like, the tray was lopsided or something like that, but I remember having, like, a piece and barely any. And I was high for three days. And the first one I got so high that I was about three seconds behind myself. So, like, something would happen. I'd be aware that it happened, but then it would register a few seconds afterwards. And I was, like, watching a FIFA, I was watching buddies play FIFA and, like, they would score a goal and I would see them get up and then I would see the goal score and then I would realize what happened. And I'm in my friend's room and I go, oh, fuck, I gotta throw up. And then I go, that was three seconds ago. And I ran to the bathroom and I just projectile-vomited ramen noodles into the bath, like, just made it and the entire floor of the bathroom was just ramen noodles, couldn't eat fucking ramen for, like, years. It was just, like, baked into my subconscious.

Speaker 5:
[23:30] I think my worst drug experience had been weed.

Speaker 2:
[23:32] What about the Molly?

Speaker 5:
[23:34] Well, that was after.

Speaker 3:
[23:35] Was that worse?

Speaker 2:
[23:36] You had a rough one on Molly. But that was after.

Speaker 5:
[23:38] During was the best. It was the after part.

Speaker 2:
[23:41] I thought During was stressed.

Speaker 5:
[23:42] No, During was fine.

Speaker 3:
[23:43] Was after because of, like, the come down, like the...

Speaker 5:
[23:45] From the Molly, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[23:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[23:47] I got, like, a week where I was, I feel like I was in a dream.

Speaker 2:
[23:51] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[23:51] I would just, like, walk around and be like, oh, I'm not here right now. We had to go, we went to Austin, we did shows with the mothership, and I'm on stage watching myself do comedy.

Speaker 3:
[23:58] I think that's that serotonin drop, right?

Speaker 5:
[24:01] Depersonalization, derealization is what they call it, DPDR. And I was just, like, tweaking out.

Speaker 2:
[24:06] Mark's so analytical, though, he was so adorable, like, he was feeling all these good feelings.

Speaker 5:
[24:11] Oh, I always do that.

Speaker 2:
[24:11] And maybe it's because he's so Catholic, too. He's like, why do I feel good? This is not allowed. And he's having these feelings, and he's, like, in real time going, I'm aware that this is just the chemicals in my brain that are making me feel this. And we're just sitting there like, just feel it.

Speaker 1:
[24:25] Just bring it in.

Speaker 5:
[24:28] I had a journal. I would journal every, like, minute. So, like, okay, I take a bigger dose, like, 1205. And, like, I would jot it down. The whole time?

Speaker 1:
[24:34] Yeah, yeah, journaling.

Speaker 5:
[24:36] I still have the notes. And I would, like, log how it felt. And I would go up to him and be like, hey, dude, I know I'm on drugs, but I do love you. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[24:43] That's the best part, right?

Speaker 3:
[24:45] That's the best part.

Speaker 5:
[24:46] But weed, though, no, I would smoke weed and then start thinking about, like, planets. And I would start being like, oh, we're just monkeys. And then we're walking around, we're all monkeys. And I had to go home to my wife and be like, hey, can you take care of me? And then she's like brushing my hair and like plucking stuff out of my hair. And I'm like, oh, we are monkeys.

Speaker 2:
[25:01] We are monkeys.

Speaker 3:
[25:02] I mean, other than overdosing, the worst stuff I've had was, the worst experience I've had have been with weed.

Speaker 2:
[25:08] Dude, weed is the worst.

Speaker 3:
[25:11] The worst.

Speaker 2:
[25:12] It's the worst when it's bad. Like, I remember once I had another one of those like multiple day highs. I was visiting a friend who was going to USC and I got so high off edibles, like the floor was lava.

Speaker 3:
[25:25] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[25:26] And I spent like a day in a dorm room, just like on a couch. Because I didn't want to touch the ground. And I was like, I know this is stupid.

Speaker 5:
[25:36] But why risk it?

Speaker 2:
[25:37] But why risk it?

Speaker 5:
[25:38] We can't play those games.

Speaker 2:
[25:39] Those are dangerous games.

Speaker 5:
[25:40] You would feel so embarrassed if your leg got molten off by lava.

Speaker 2:
[25:42] Exactly. It's not worth it.

Speaker 5:
[25:43] It'd be so humiliating.

Speaker 3:
[25:44] Old school edibles too, like you're talking about.

Speaker 2:
[25:47] I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[25:47] When I...

Speaker 2:
[25:49] This guy, the guy that I went to visit, his roommate had downloaded all the porn from the internet and I'm not being hyperbolic.

Speaker 3:
[25:57] All of it.

Speaker 2:
[25:58] This guy, Neil, I won't say his last name, he loved porn.

Speaker 3:
[26:02] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[26:03] And he had files and files. This was at a point in time where there wasn't that much porn. The internet was new and he had hard drives and hard drives. And I was trying to look up something on his computer. Right? And I got on his mouse and I clicked the mouse and it was like not a, it was a PC. So I clicked the mouse, remember it had those two things?

Speaker 5:
[26:24] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[26:24] And I clicked it with my pointer finger and all of a sudden like that little box opened up.

Speaker 5:
[26:30] The right click.

Speaker 2:
[26:31] Yeah, and I was like, yo, Neil, I think your mouse is fucked up. The right click keeps popping. This guy switched the mouse so he could jerk off with his right hand and he made the mouse laugh.

Speaker 3:
[26:45] That's amazing. The dedication. That's such commitment.

Speaker 2:
[26:48] The dedication is unbelievable.

Speaker 3:
[26:49] That's amazing.

Speaker 5:
[26:50] Yeah. To plan for a stroke such is crazy. That's supposed to be something like overtakes you like a demon.

Speaker 3:
[26:55] Remember like old school CD cases?

Speaker 2:
[26:58] Yes, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[26:59] I knew a guy who had one of those of just porn DVDs and he would travel with them. So he's like, I'm going to Phoenix this weekend. Need it. And he would have it in the airport. Like walk through with a full like CD case of like a hundred DVDs. You're like, you need this for the weekend? That's how committed he was.

Speaker 2:
[27:20] All right guys, we're going to do dates real quick. But first we got to shout out the boy Akaash Singh did it man.

Speaker 4:
[27:28] Radio City sold the fuck out.

Speaker 2:
[27:32] Killed it. Not a single seat killed that shit. Really awesome set and like address the things he's been going through in like a fucking hilarious way and like I hadn't seen his set in a while. And like introspective and it was very, very, very awesome to see. So make sure you guys go continue to check out Akaash but he sold that shit out. The entire internet came for him and he sold it out. And none of his critics could be able to handle that type of onslaught and then push through and sell out Radio City. Absolutely not. No fucking way, not a chance. So he just shut them all up and as he should and shout out him and that was fucking amazing to see, it was beautiful. Shout out you, love you dog, great fucking job. Salutes to Akaash Singh in the building. We got some shows coming up this week on Tampa. Sold out, thank you guys so much Tampa. Denver is sold out, thank you Denver. We got the Greek theater, I think there might be a couple seats at the Greek left for the Netflix is a Joke Festival with Jelly Roll. And we just announced some more comics. I think they just announced on the line up, so go check that out. That's May 8th, May 15th, 17th, Salt Lake, sold out. And then we added Virginia Beach. June 5th and 6th have been added. The Funny Bone Comedy Club, Virginia Beach. So get that. And then Halifax, Nova Scotia, we're gonna be up there. Me, Mark, Cam Patterson, Lucas Zelnick. And we're gonna be out there in Halifax, running it up. Amazing. RIP to go, Pat Stay, man. We need to do like a Pat Stay tribute when we're out there.

Speaker 5:
[29:11] Wait, what happened to Pat Stay?

Speaker 2:
[29:12] He passed away.

Speaker 5:
[29:13] I didn't know this.

Speaker 2:
[29:14] Oh my God, yeah. The Rose Legend, man. The rap Rose Legend. Yeah, anyway. Halifax, Nova Scotia. Okay, Mark, let him know.

Speaker 5:
[29:22] I'm gonna be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island. On April 23rd. And then at the end of the year, I'm doing a bunch of dates. Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego and Detroit. I would love to see you guys all there. Thank you so much.

Speaker 6:
[29:34] And guys, I'm throwing tennis events this summer. Three dates, May 16th, July 25th and August 29th. Just head over to All Love Racquet Club on Instagram. The link in the bio. These tennis events are gonna be dope. Music, food, giveaways, all that stuff. See you there. And fart.

Speaker 9:
[29:54] No one goes to Hanks for his spreadsheets. They go for a darn good pizza. Lately, though, the shop's been quiet. So, Hank decides to bring back the $1 slice. He asks Copilot in Microsoft Excel to look at his sales and costs, help him see if he can afford it. Copilot shows Hank where the money's going and which little extras make the dollar slice work. Now, Hanks has a line out the door. Hank makes the pizza, Copilot handles the spreadsheets. Learn more at m365copilot.com/work.

Speaker 3:
[30:24] But with those edibles, dude, I worked in a post house in LA. I remember this is like the early 2000s. And again, it's like, there's not weed stores or anything. And there's a guy there in post who was like, you want like an edible cookie? And I was like, yeah, I'd love that. It gives me a, it's one of those giant chocolate chip cookies. And I go, how much did I eat? And he goes, eat the whole thing. I was like, all right. I remember I told someone else and they're like, eat half and see how it goes. So I'm just home alone, like on a Friday night or Saturday night. And I eat half. I'm just like watching TV. I don't know, half an hour later, I was like, I feel nothing. I'll just finish this cookie. Dude, within an hour, tears, tears, just crying. And I'm like, I'm a bad brother.

Speaker 1:
[31:14] I just cry.

Speaker 3:
[31:16] And it stays like that for like six hours.

Speaker 2:
[31:19] Is there any drug that like you enjoy?

Speaker 1:
[31:22] It seems like every experience just brings out like the worst part.

Speaker 3:
[31:24] Well, I think the weed ones were, too much weed is just always a disaster. Like when I OD'd, I OD'd on GHB and a bunch of stuff. What do you mean you OD'd? I OD'd, I was like in a coma when I was like 19, when I took a bunch of GHB and drank and mixed it up.

Speaker 2:
[31:41] GHB is the date rape. Date rape.

Speaker 3:
[31:43] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[31:43] You took it voluntary?

Speaker 3:
[31:45] We all did then, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[31:46] Who's we all did?

Speaker 3:
[31:48] The girls. That girls got, I mean it's just Florida in like the late 90s, early 2000s, that was like very popular. So you put it in a bottle cap. So like the way you took it. What the is that? This is how you do GHB. Got it for real. It was just like this. You're the night. Yeah. It was like this, bro. You go like this. This was a dose. So you'd go, that much. Tastes like ocean water. Tastes like salt water. You go, mm. It's almost immediate. Like immediately, your whole body, you'd be like, and we'd call it like permagrin, cause you'd be like.

Speaker 2:
[32:24] Just chill it, okay.

Speaker 3:
[32:25] Yeah. Someone would be like, fuck you bitch. And you'd be like, that's right. Nothing bothered you. Everything felt good.

Speaker 9:
[32:31] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[32:32] So I was doing that regularly. And that was everyone in like my high school clique was, and I went to college and I brought some to college. And then I ran out.

Speaker 9:
[32:42] Uh oh.

Speaker 3:
[32:43] So I came back and I saw the dude. I was like, yo, let me get some more of that Georgia homeboy, man. Let me get some of that shit.

Speaker 6:
[32:51] Georgia homeboy.

Speaker 3:
[32:52] Yeah. And so that's how we would get it in these, in water bottles. They look yellow. And he hadn't dispensed it yet into the water bottles. He had it in a gallon jug. Okay. So he's like, here you go. And literally I'm like, well, how do you take the right dose, if you're used to the literal water bottle cap? So I have a full gallon jug, which is, you know, the weight to it, right? And you're like, okay. So you put it up.

Speaker 2:
[33:24] Ooh, yeah, it's over.

Speaker 3:
[33:25] And what happened was, I just went like this, and I realized I have like 10 doses in my mouth. And now I don't want to be rude.

Speaker 2:
[33:36] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[33:36] And I don't know, like.

Speaker 5:
[33:38] It's like a wine tasting, you spit it out.

Speaker 3:
[33:40] You're like, do I spit this out? It's like a split second decision.

Speaker 2:
[33:43] You do, but you do.

Speaker 3:
[33:44] You do. But at the time, I just went.

Speaker 2:
[33:47] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[33:48] And I just put the thing down, I was thanks dude.

Speaker 1:
[33:51] I love how you're framing this as, I didn't want to be rude. I didn't want to be rude. I'm a guest.

Speaker 3:
[33:55] I'm a guest.

Speaker 2:
[33:56] He just gave me a free drink.

Speaker 1:
[33:57] I have to eat it. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[33:58] I will overdose in front of you.

Speaker 3:
[34:00] But the real thing, the reason I ended up in a coma was because the big rule with it always was don't drink on it.

Speaker 2:
[34:07] That's right.

Speaker 3:
[34:08] And I had drank already a bunch.

Speaker 2:
[34:10] So it's in the system.

Speaker 3:
[34:11] I was already cooked and then I just was out, woke up in ICU fucking tubes and all this shit.

Speaker 2:
[34:19] Chance you would have died?

Speaker 3:
[34:21] I was going to die in a moment. The only reason I didn't die was my sister was at the same place she called 911.

Speaker 2:
[34:27] Get out of here.

Speaker 3:
[34:28] I would have definitely died. Yeah, definitely died.

Speaker 2:
[34:30] How long was the coma?

Speaker 3:
[34:34] Not that long. 8, 10 hours or something before I would come to. Damn. But the thing was, she was like, everybody there was like, just let him chill. She was like, he's just chilling right now. She's like, he's not.

Speaker 1:
[34:48] That is the way you kind of deal with it.

Speaker 6:
[34:50] You hope that it just like.

Speaker 9:
[34:51] Yeah, because you don't want to have to deal with it.

Speaker 1:
[34:53] Because you're also in GSP and you're like grinning.

Speaker 2:
[34:55] You're like, oh, he's feeling it.

Speaker 4:
[34:56] Yeah, he's good, man.

Speaker 3:
[34:58] He's telling you he's good. Yeah, she called, she called.

Speaker 5:
[35:02] How pissed are your parents?

Speaker 2:
[35:04] Bro. So you gave her a bakery?

Speaker 1:
[35:10] Is that why you started the bakery?

Speaker 3:
[35:13] No, I can tell you this. When you wake up, you don't know what's going on. Obviously, I have no idea what's going on. All I do is I wake up, I'm in a hospital, so I wake up and I'm looking at lights. And also they have my arm strapped down because they don't want you to pull tubes out.

Speaker 2:
[35:29] Yes, because that's a knee-jerk reaction.

Speaker 3:
[35:30] Knee-jerk reaction, because I have a breathing tube, I also have a tube sending liquid charcoal into my stomach. Yeah, to have everything coagulate. And so I'm looking at these lights and I'm like... And then I see a doctor that I know come into frame. Literally like, and I know her, and I'm like, that's Dr. Casanova. And she's like, she goes, you're in the hospital, she goes, you overdosed, but here's where you are, this is what's happening. And I can't talk, so I'm just like, okay. And in my head I'm like, I hope my parents don't know. Like that's my thought. And then they come into frame. Oh shit. And I was like, ah. And they hand me a piece of paper, because you can only like scribble. And I'm like, I'm 19, but I still write, I go, are you mad? Right? And they show, and my dad looks and he goes, no buddy, just disappointed. And I was like, man, I couldn't pick another thing to say.

Speaker 1:
[36:30] We're happy you're alive.

Speaker 5:
[36:31] Can you give me a beat at least, a little, just wait.

Speaker 3:
[36:33] Yeah, that was fucking.

Speaker 2:
[36:34] What does mom say?

Speaker 3:
[36:36] She's just traumatized. She's not really saying much.

Speaker 2:
[36:38] Hey, you haven't stopped traumatizing her.

Speaker 3:
[36:41] No, that's kind of the biggest joy I think I have.

Speaker 1:
[36:44] I think you really enjoy it.

Speaker 3:
[36:45] In life. Do you ever see the helicopter thing I took her on?

Speaker 2:
[36:48] Yeah, I think I did see it.

Speaker 3:
[36:50] That's one of the hardest I've ever laughed. Because I couldn't believe she would go up with me.

Speaker 1:
[36:54] Dude, see if you can find this clip.

Speaker 3:
[36:56] It's fucking amazing, because I started taking flying lessons. And I went up with this guy.

Speaker 2:
[37:01] Helicopter flying.

Speaker 3:
[37:02] Helicopter flying.

Speaker 2:
[37:02] Why helicopter?

Speaker 3:
[37:03] I just always liked them.

Speaker 2:
[37:05] Why? I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[37:06] Before or after Kobe? After. Wow.

Speaker 2:
[37:10] Yeah, you're.

Speaker 6:
[37:11] Wow, boy, bro.

Speaker 3:
[37:12] But I remembered that one of the things you learn is just like with, you know.

Speaker 6:
[37:15] I never want to get an helicopter.

Speaker 2:
[37:17] I love it.

Speaker 3:
[37:18] I love helicopter.

Speaker 2:
[37:19] It is the most convenient way to get from Manhattan to JFK.

Speaker 3:
[37:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[37:25] You're there in five minutes.

Speaker 3:
[37:26] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:26] Okay. It is. And like now when you get like a car service and something in traffic.

Speaker 3:
[37:32] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:32] It's like unbelievably expensive. It's not that much crazier to take the helicopter.

Speaker 3:
[37:37] When I come here.

Speaker 2:
[37:38] You do it.

Speaker 3:
[37:39] I take the helicopter to Newark. I take it to Long Island. I take it everywhere. I love helicopters. It's amazing.

Speaker 2:
[37:43] It's five minutes. The thing that I'm terrified about is every single time. And once I had kids, I just stopped doing it. Is that I don't like, at least with a plane, maybe this makes no sense. But I'm like, all right, if the propellers go out, the wings are there. Yeah. Land on the Hudson. Land on the Hudson. Sully. What do we do with the helicopter if the spinny thing spins?

Speaker 3:
[38:06] Autorotation. And you just fucking just go down like that.

Speaker 2:
[38:09] So you believe at the height.

Speaker 3:
[38:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[38:12] You believe knowing everything you know about things falling, that at the height the helicopter is, that it would just slowly.

Speaker 3:
[38:20] Well, we do it. We do it when we're training. We shut the engine off and actually just take it down.

Speaker 2:
[38:24] But at what height?

Speaker 3:
[38:25] I mean, we start for probably the first time you do that. It's several hundred feet, you know, you shut it off.

Speaker 2:
[38:31] Higher than when you're going from Newark to the city or JFK to the city?

Speaker 3:
[38:35] From JFK to the city, you probably just, most of probably 1200 feet and then...

Speaker 2:
[38:42] You think we're 1200 feet up?

Speaker 3:
[38:45] No, I've done it. You're not flying at 5000 feet.

Speaker 2:
[38:49] I thought we're like 500 feet or 300 feet.

Speaker 3:
[38:51] Oh, sometimes you're at 500 feet.

Speaker 2:
[38:53] So you're toast at 500.

Speaker 3:
[38:54] No, no, you're not toast, man. You're toast if you fly into the side of a fucking building.

Speaker 2:
[38:59] That I think we could avoid. I'm never worried about that because you can see them, but you can't see the engine turn on. Well, we take the waterways.

Speaker 3:
[39:06] Birds can fuck you pretty bad. You know, birds are a real problem. And there's this thing, too.

Speaker 1:
[39:11] Why are you smiling?

Speaker 4:
[39:13] This is a funny, blaming bird.

Speaker 1:
[39:15] This is reframing every story he's ever told.

Speaker 3:
[39:18] There's this funny thing, too, when you're flying, they go, just so you know, we're always about two seconds from dying in this thing.

Speaker 2:
[39:24] They say that, too.

Speaker 3:
[39:25] Yeah, because when you fly a plane, like I've flown planes for Lessons 2, you're basically, once you take off and you're cruising, you could read a fucking book, right? In a helicopter, there's zero time off. In other words, you're just engaged the entire time.

Speaker 2:
[39:48] Why?

Speaker 3:
[39:49] Because you have to be. You have to have the cyclic, you have to have control of all times, because you can't, if you'd let go, the aircraft would go down. Like in a plane, you can just be like, I'm just going.

Speaker 2:
[40:02] You're saying you have to hold it up manually?

Speaker 3:
[40:04] Yeah, you have to hold that, and you have to keep your elevation the whole time, and you're looking at the horizon the whole time.

Speaker 6:
[40:13] Oh, so there's no like just autopilot?

Speaker 3:
[40:15] There's none of that. Yeah, you're always, but here's the thing, there's like an upside and a downside of that. You're fully engaged, you're hyper aware, you're not really, think of anything else. You're just looking and you're making inputs all the time. Constantly. There's never a point where you're not giving some type of direction to the aircraft.

Speaker 6:
[40:33] That's not more reassuring at all.

Speaker 5:
[40:35] Yeah, I trust me less.

Speaker 2:
[40:37] I like to read a book, actually.

Speaker 3:
[40:39] I mean, sometimes I do too. Sometimes I do too, but like also, I'm not going up there alone. I'm up there with like an instructor.

Speaker 2:
[40:47] Have you guys ever gotten into some?

Speaker 3:
[40:49] Well, I'll tell you this. So, there's different types, there's different types.

Speaker 9:
[40:57] We're learning a lot about Tom today.

Speaker 3:
[40:59] There's different capacities, just like with a car, a Honda Civic and a GT3 RS are different. So, with helicopters, there's a big difference. One of the ones that I learned about was this MD 500, which has fully articulating blades, and it's like Coast Guard uses it.

Speaker 2:
[41:16] So, this means that blades on top can actually rotate this way so you're not changing direction with the back thing.

Speaker 3:
[41:22] Well, you still, the thing still operates the way. That's this one? I don't know if that's an MD, is it?

Speaker 2:
[41:29] This is the one that looks like they take to JFK.

Speaker 3:
[41:33] Well, this thing, yeah, MD 500 E? So, it has maneuverability options that you wouldn't get like in a Robinson 44, right? So, the guy that takes me up in this is like a super experienced pilot. And he's like, you want to see some shit? And I was like, yeah. So, he's doing some crazy shit in the aircraft, like sideways, fucking up, down. And I go, I want to try to get my mom at this and do this to her, because she's scared of air travel anyway. Yeah. So, I go tell her, I've been taking lessons, I want to take you up and do like a city tour. And she's like, I'm expecting her to be like, not a fucking chance. And she goes, I'd love to see that. And I go, really? Which city? In Austin. I go, just like I'll fly you around Lake Austin, take you to the city.

Speaker 1:
[42:25] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[42:25] Maybe the most boring city tour in this, you're in fucking Hawaii, I guess.

Speaker 3:
[42:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[42:31] You're gonna see the top of these three story buildings.

Speaker 3:
[42:34] She's like, I will do it. And then I tell him, so I, like we take off, I do some flying, and then I just give him a signal, and I go, like, let it rain. Like, just fucking go nuts. And I had these, and she, I mean, I've never heard her.

Speaker 2:
[42:52] Play this and give us a little build up, Joey. Make sure that we're at, like, she's calm, at least in the beginning. Okay, good. Is this right? Okay, here we go.

Speaker 3:
[43:05] I mean, you can't see externally what he's doing, but we're like sideways to the ground. But she's so scared and I can hear her laughing. I can hear her laughing, dude.

Speaker 6:
[43:21] Oh, is this your mom?

Speaker 3:
[43:23] Dude. He flies vertically. He sends us in the nosedives.

Speaker 9:
[43:32] And you can hear her on the intercom.

Speaker 4:
[43:33] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[43:35] She's making me cry.

Speaker 10:
[43:42] Oh my God.

Speaker 3:
[43:43] It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed, dude.

Speaker 6:
[43:46] You're going to hell.

Speaker 3:
[43:47] I know.

Speaker 6:
[43:48] Like, this is your mom.

Speaker 3:
[43:50] He was so mad.

Speaker 1:
[43:50] I want to see her coming out. Do we have her coming out?

Speaker 3:
[43:53] Oh, yeah. I don't think a human being is capable of doing stuff like that.

Speaker 4:
[43:57] He's as bad as he can.

Speaker 3:
[43:58] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[43:59] He's a mean son.

Speaker 7:
[44:00] And he tried to kill me. It didn't work out for him.

Speaker 3:
[44:03] I thought you would enjoy it. I would show you some of the coolest maneuvers.

Speaker 11:
[44:06] Tommy, I cry, I pray, I get petrified, I scream.

Speaker 3:
[44:10] And now you get to go, it's my birthday.

Speaker 7:
[44:12] I'm shaking.

Speaker 1:
[44:13] I am completely nauseated, by the way.

Speaker 3:
[44:15] Isn't that cool, though?

Speaker 7:
[44:16] No, Tommy.

Speaker 10:
[44:17] Que culo.

Speaker 3:
[44:20] I'm laying on the side.

Speaker 6:
[44:21] We are just crashing.

Speaker 10:
[44:23] We are going to the future.

Speaker 1:
[44:25] We are going up to the sky to go down.

Speaker 7:
[44:27] It was everything that can kill a human being.

Speaker 3:
[44:29] That's all the stuff that I've been trying to master.

Speaker 6:
[44:31] You came here with the intention of destroying your mother.

Speaker 3:
[44:34] And now we go home?

Speaker 7:
[44:35] No, we are going to the mall. You are going to the mall for a long time.

Speaker 6:
[44:40] Don't forget to mention how cruel is my son.

Speaker 4:
[44:43] Maybe I'm going to get the iWatch 15.

Speaker 9:
[44:47] I'm getting both.

Speaker 7:
[44:48] That wasn't even in the advance.

Speaker 6:
[44:49] How come you allowed him to do that?

Speaker 8:
[44:54] How much did he pay you to say that?

Speaker 3:
[45:01] She went at one point. This was after my dad died. And in her chaos, I heard her screaming, think about your father.

Speaker 5:
[45:14] Was there any moment where you were like, maybe we should chill? No.

Speaker 1:
[45:17] No.

Speaker 3:
[45:18] Definitely not. No.

Speaker 1:
[45:19] Do you have no fear of death?

Speaker 2:
[45:21] Are you not like a big, what happens in the future guy?

Speaker 3:
[45:25] No, I think, I definitely have a, you know, I don't walk around like scared to death all the time.

Speaker 1:
[45:31] Right, right.

Speaker 3:
[45:31] But no, I think about mortality for sure. But this is also just so much fun. Like sometimes the fun outweighs the fear.

Speaker 2:
[45:38] That supersedes it sometimes. Even when you had kids, was there not this part of you that's like, all right, I got to turn down some stuff?

Speaker 3:
[45:43] Yeah, some of it, some of it. I mean, I used to go to the track more, like in Austin we have CODA, Circuit of the Americas.

Speaker 2:
[45:49] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[45:50] I have been since we've had kids, but there's a couple of times where-

Speaker 2:
[45:53] At first I thought it was running.

Speaker 3:
[45:55] Oh my God, no. There's a couple of times where when you're doing laps, and especially when you start to build up-

Speaker 2:
[46:03] That track is sick, by the way.

Speaker 3:
[46:04] The track's amazing.

Speaker 2:
[46:06] That incline before that first big turn.

Speaker 8:
[46:09] Oh my God.

Speaker 3:
[46:11] It's crazy. There's this back straight that I had been in.

Speaker 2:
[46:16] What are you driving on it?

Speaker 3:
[46:17] I've taken out a couple GT3s.

Speaker 2:
[46:19] Yeah, this is a Porsche.

Speaker 3:
[46:20] Porsche, yeah. But then my neighbor, I had a neighbor there with a- So the ones I were driving were manual. My neighbor was out there with a Ferrari F8, and he was like, you want to take mine? I was like, yeah, it's automatic.

Speaker 6:
[46:35] But doesn't have the-

Speaker 3:
[46:36] It does, if you want. But even with these paddles which you're using, you can never mimic how fast this is compared to this.

Speaker 6:
[46:46] Right.

Speaker 3:
[46:46] And bro, when I was on that back straight, I was like, oh, that's one of those times where I was like, oh, I could die doing this.

Speaker 6:
[46:54] You really felt it.

Speaker 3:
[46:55] Because it was significant speed compared to what I had been driving. I think in the manuals, you hit like maybe 145, 150 on the back and on his like 177. I was like, you feel that more of like, the margin for error feels like much, much smaller there.

Speaker 2:
[47:15] I did not even close to that speed, but I was on that track with Yuki Sonoda, the F1 driver, small Asian guy. Yeah. And he took me out in a, I think it was like a Ford, I forget what the fuck it was. That's somewhere. Ford GT. Yeah, I think it was the GT.

Speaker 3:
[47:33] That was a badass car.

Speaker 2:
[47:34] It's a badass car, they soup it up. Obviously, it's not some like F, you know, Formula E, 3, whatever. The thing that I noticed the most was the car wanting to just turn over on the turns. So like, you actually feel the tires like pulling.

Speaker 3:
[47:53] Ripping, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[47:54] And I was like, can you give me an example of what this is compared to what you're feeling in the Formula cars? And he was like, this is the equivalent of like, taking a golf cart on the track.

Speaker 3:
[48:07] Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[48:08] I mean, crazy. This is the F1 track, the Koda track? Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[48:11] Yeah. I remember I did the-

Speaker 6:
[48:13] You're like Spanish Latino, right? Uh-huh. You don't have to do white people shit.

Speaker 4:
[48:20] This shit is crazy. Hey, we got him.

Speaker 3:
[48:22] I know, you're right, I know.

Speaker 6:
[48:24] That's your mom, you can't do that to your mom.

Speaker 5:
[48:28] Were you like this as a kid? Did you like dirt bikes and shit?

Speaker 3:
[48:31] No, no.

Speaker 5:
[48:32] Just GHB, dude. Just GHB.

Speaker 3:
[48:34] I always liked cars. I was like fast cars. Yeah. Yeah. I never had any, but I still liked them. Right.

Speaker 5:
[48:39] But you were thrill-seeking in some way.

Speaker 3:
[48:41] You know, I never did bungee jumping. I never did the parachuting stuff, you know. To me, it was always like something with an engine. That's always what was it. I liked boats, like going fast.

Speaker 5:
[48:52] Going fast.

Speaker 3:
[48:52] Yeah, I liked going fast.

Speaker 5:
[48:53] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[48:54] But she, I went to that Dallas Motor Speedway, I got in a NASCAR there. And I would, because I was like, how fun could that be? The loop. Amazing. Amazing.

Speaker 2:
[49:06] Is it because of the?

Speaker 3:
[49:07] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[49:08] So break that down. What is that even called? Bank. The bank, the gradient, right?

Speaker 3:
[49:12] Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2:
[49:13] Can you even stand on that at its highest point?

Speaker 3:
[49:15] I don't, I think you, I don't know if you could.

Speaker 5:
[49:17] It's tough to run up. Yeah, it's difficult to get up there.

Speaker 2:
[49:20] So what happens?

Speaker 5:
[49:20] If a homeless guy causes that, you can get up there, but it's tough.

Speaker 2:
[49:24] But like, is it at 45 degrees towards the top? Is it at?

Speaker 5:
[49:28] It might be. That's what it feels like.

Speaker 3:
[49:29] I'm not sure. But what was fascinating to me was they were like, all right, you have to keep this speed, right?

Speaker 2:
[49:36] If not, the car's just gonna fall over.

Speaker 3:
[49:38] And then they, you know, and like, you realize.

Speaker 2:
[49:40] It's like a carnival ride.

Speaker 3:
[49:41] There was a guy in a radio telling me where to go, what speed to keep, when to push. And then to maintain, he was just like, now just hold it here.

Speaker 2:
[49:51] And you're alone in the car?

Speaker 3:
[49:53] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[49:54] And what do you have to hold on that?

Speaker 3:
[49:56] Huh?

Speaker 2:
[49:57] 33 degrees. 33 degrees. And what do you have to hold on that, speed-wise?

Speaker 3:
[50:01] Well, so they had this thing where they were like, we don't want to be liable for your death. So they start you off, and then when you complete a lap at a slower rate, you come in and they would manually change the limiter.

Speaker 2:
[50:15] There's a governor on the car.

Speaker 3:
[50:16] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[50:17] And then they, so every time I would do a couple laps, I would have to pit, and they would like ramp it up a little more. And then I was like, let it go all the way, and they're like, not a fucking chance. But it was super, I think the highest we hit on that was like in the 150s or 60s.

Speaker 2:
[50:33] There's a clip of this guy, I'm sure you've seen it, where it's like he's talking to his, what is the captain or who's the guy who's basically? Your crew chief or pit chief? Yeah, his pit chief and he's like, I'm just gonna push my foot down and either see a checkered flag or see God.

Speaker 3:
[50:51] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:51] Have you seen this clip?

Speaker 6:
[50:52] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:53] You see that one?

Speaker 6:
[50:54] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:54] And he just push, we should bring it up, he pushes his foot down on the gas and then he rides the wall. So he doesn't even try to maneuver.

Speaker 5:
[51:03] It's like, we're gonna lighten up a queen.

Speaker 2:
[51:05] Literally, it's something outside of cars, from cars. And he just basically scrapes the whole side of his car and uses the bank or the wall as his own protection so he doesn't fly out. And then I think he wins the race.

Speaker 5:
[51:17] Yeah, they made it illegal after that, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 2:
[51:19] Probably a good idea.

Speaker 5:
[51:21] You can't, like, wall ride.

Speaker 3:
[51:22] See the checkered flag or see God's pretty wild. Ross Chastain. What is his name?

Speaker 2:
[51:27] His name's Ross Chastain. You got it up, Joe?

Speaker 1:
[51:29] You guys are fucking crazy.

Speaker 2:
[51:31] I need audio on this one just to see this guy.

Speaker 6:
[51:32] You guys are nuts, bro.

Speaker 4:
[51:35] I just got to put my foot on the floor and I'm not listening to Lacey Goddard or checkered flags.

Speaker 2:
[51:40] My man. Look at this.

Speaker 4:
[51:59] Wow. What a strategy.

Speaker 2:
[52:00] Holy. Wow.

Speaker 3:
[52:01] Tom, that's pretty nuts. The next day?

Speaker 1:
[52:04] Why would they ban it? That's kinda sick.

Speaker 4:
[52:07] It's Grant Turizbo.

Speaker 2:
[52:08] You can't do that.

Speaker 5:
[52:09] Have you been to an Asgard race?

Speaker 2:
[52:11] Not an Asgard.

Speaker 4:
[52:12] I'd like to go to an Asgard.

Speaker 3:
[52:13] It was a much different experience. I had the same thing where I was like, I'm just not interested. Yeah. And I went there. First, I went to the Daytona 500. Yeah. First of all, just the atmosphere was sort of like the first time I went to UFC. I wasn't that interested in you.

Speaker 2:
[52:32] I was like, yeah, go to an actual fight.

Speaker 3:
[52:33] You go to fight and you're like, holy shit, the energy. So the energy, Daytona in particular is just, it is electric. I mean, really takes over. Then you're in there. We were able to walk around with the different teams and you see the caliber of people, the conversations they're having, the studying and you're like, holy shit, there's so much strategy going into this and so much commitment the whole way through about this. And then the skill itself, when you hear the engine start and they take off, you're like, it's like this visceral reaction. Yeah, the sound and you just, being there changed the way that I looked at the sport.

Speaker 5:
[53:19] I mean, the flyover.

Speaker 3:
[53:20] The flyover is the best thing.

Speaker 5:
[53:22] You need that at everything.

Speaker 3:
[53:23] The flyover is unbelievable. They had the, what's it called? Not the Blue Angels, but the Air Force One, the Thunder.

Speaker 5:
[53:30] I don't know.

Speaker 3:
[53:31] But holy shit, I thought we were getting bombed. I was like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 5:
[53:34] No, the Thunderbirds.

Speaker 3:
[53:35] Yes, the Thunderbirds. Just them flying over. Yeah, the whole atmosphere, you walk out of there being like, that was all fucking unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[53:43] There is something about the races, which is like, I didn't grow up with car culture at all. Like, I grew up in New York City. Nobody had a fucking car. And I went to a Formula One, and the sound of the cars made me feel like this childhood nostalgia. And I never had cars. But it was something about just this loud motor. You just feel like a kid. And they zoom by, and every time I just find myself going, zoom.

Speaker 4:
[54:05] Yeah. Have you been to F1 races?

Speaker 2:
[54:08] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[54:08] They're fun, too.

Speaker 2:
[54:09] We did Miami, we did, and then Austin, and I don't know if we were there for, no, we weren't there in Abu Dhabi, but there is a hotel on the property.

Speaker 3:
[54:22] I think we drove, I drove on that track, too.

Speaker 2:
[54:23] Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[54:24] The Formula 3 cars? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[54:26] The four? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[54:27] That was sick.

Speaker 3:
[54:28] So fun, so fun.

Speaker 5:
[54:29] I will say, there's something about NASCAR that makes you feel all American. Like I haven't been to an F1 race that I imagine it's like a little higher class, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[54:37] Definitely. It's interesting.

Speaker 5:
[54:39] There's still about NASCAR where it's like you see like pristine like engineers working on shit. You see like former D1 athletes in the crew. But then also just like a dude with a shirt off getting sunburned. And you're like, this is great.

Speaker 3:
[54:50] It's very America.

Speaker 2:
[54:51] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[54:51] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[54:52] It's worth going.

Speaker 2:
[54:53] At that track in Abu Dhabi, I thought that the markers on the side before the turns were the speed you were supposed to go, not the distance to the turn. So I was like trying to...

Speaker 3:
[55:06] I have to go 220 right now? Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[55:09] So I was like, I don't even understand the point of this really. But that was sick.

Speaker 3:
[55:14] Yeah, it's so cool. They were such gracious hosts, too. Oh, they were so, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[55:20] The best.

Speaker 3:
[55:21] The best.

Speaker 2:
[55:21] All right guys, let's take a break for a second. I've realized something over the last couple years, definitely since having kids, that sleep is the most precious resource on the planet. It is more valuable than oil, gold, other things. Diamonds? Diamonds, diamonds. Like none of these things matter, really, to be honest with you. If your sleep is off, your whole life is off, your mood, your energy, how you think, all of it. And I didn't really take it seriously. And then I did little things that could incrementally change how well I was sleeping. And one of those was I switched to Brooklyn bedding. This mattress is different. I'm not just like crashing anymore. I'm actually recovering. You want recovery. You want a mattress so comfortable you're sleeping through the night. Not waking up at 2.30, then again at 4.30, tossing and turning because you're on some horrible mattress that doesn't allow you to get that recovery that you need, okay? I reset. That's what I do. I recommend getting yourself a mattress from Brooklyn Bedding. They're not just throwing together some random mattress. They've designed and built everything themselves in their own factory in Arizona. No middlemen, no gimmicks, just quality. Yes, it's Brooklyn mattress that's designed in Arizona. Maybe there's a part of Arizona called Brooklyn, but we're not looking into it. The reality is you're going to sleep. They got options for everybody. Whatever your sleep style is, they got something for you. If you sleep hot, personally, gotta sleep hot. They actually have mattresses that stay cool at night so they can cool you down. You want your temperature to be a few degrees colder so you get that nice deep sleep. Also, this is big. They're endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association. So if you believe in fake medicine, you will appreciate that, okay? You don't have to stress trying it either. They're gonna give you a 120-night trial. Think about that. That's four months. If you don't love it, you can swap it out, simple. So do yourself a favor. Go to brooklynebedding.com. Use the promo code flagrant at checkout and get 30% off site-wide. That's brooklynebedding.com. Promo code flagrant for 30% off. Get your sleep right. Everything else gets easier. Also, before we go back in, we've gotten some very interesting results, some health results. All of us on the podcast have gotten some health results.

Speaker 3:
[57:49] Yeah, I don't know why we did this.

Speaker 5:
[57:51] It's just a full-on body scan of all of our markers.

Speaker 2:
[57:55] All of our markers. We're gonna find our biological age. And we know what our biological ages are. And before we tell each other what they are, I just want to know how confident you guys are and who is the youngest.

Speaker 5:
[58:10] Well, this is where it's tricky. Because I have the youngest biological age for sure.

Speaker 6:
[58:15] Are you sure about that?

Speaker 2:
[58:16] 100%. I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[58:17] I don't know if I have the biggest delta.

Speaker 2:
[58:20] No, no, no. Forget that.

Speaker 5:
[58:23] No. There's no way you have a younger biological age than I do. The fact you haven't pulled your phone up makes me think that you're lying. I only have to remember two numbers.

Speaker 6:
[58:35] No, I need to see it.

Speaker 2:
[58:36] I know what mine is.

Speaker 6:
[58:37] I need to see it.

Speaker 2:
[58:38] I have my age. You have your age?

Speaker 6:
[58:39] I got my age.

Speaker 2:
[58:40] Okay. So we got this whole body scan and they looked at all these different markers, etc. Shout out to Function Health that did it for us. And it really just bestowed bragging rights on us. It's not even about living forever or understanding how your body is becoming decrepit. This is just another bragging tool that we have on the pod. Why don't we start with Alexx? Black don't crack.

Speaker 6:
[59:04] Yep, that's true.

Speaker 2:
[59:05] Let's see.

Speaker 6:
[59:06] Definitely don't crack.

Speaker 2:
[59:06] Let's see if black doesn't crack.

Speaker 6:
[59:08] I'm going to blow you out of the water.

Speaker 2:
[59:09] Just let's see.

Speaker 5:
[59:12] Well, should we start with his actual age?

Speaker 2:
[59:13] Yeah, what is your actual age?

Speaker 6:
[59:15] I don't know that.

Speaker 2:
[59:17] What is your actual age?

Speaker 6:
[59:18] It's in the thirties.

Speaker 2:
[59:18] You're 38 years old. You're a 38 year old man.

Speaker 6:
[59:22] My biological age. I might be extraterrestrial because it's 23.4. Oh, shit. Ball shawl ass.

Speaker 4:
[59:32] Ball shawl ass.

Speaker 6:
[59:34] That is healthy.

Speaker 2:
[59:36] I don't know if function health is accurate.

Speaker 9:
[59:39] Can we feel good?

Speaker 10:
[59:40] Can we make you feel really, really good?

Speaker 6:
[59:42] That is motherfucking healthy.

Speaker 2:
[59:44] They shaved 15 years off of your age.

Speaker 11:
[59:46] Come on, man. What was out?

Speaker 5:
[59:49] Can you tell me what was out?

Speaker 6:
[59:51] Let me see. Let me see. You mad because I beat you.

Speaker 1:
[59:54] What is yours again?

Speaker 6:
[59:56] 23.4.

Speaker 2:
[59:57] This is crazy. You beat Mark. Yeah. You beat Mark. I didn't say I would beat you. I said somebody else would beat you. You are younger than Mark is biologically. Look at him. No, this is what I'm saying. First of all, you're not even married. It doesn't count. Exactly. You're married and have kids.

Speaker 5:
[60:18] You don't have a kid.

Speaker 2:
[60:19] It's not even. I'm shocked yours is as low as it is. I saw it.

Speaker 5:
[60:23] Yeah, I'm coming in at 23.8. But he has a child. That's three months.

Speaker 2:
[60:31] He has a child and a wife.

Speaker 1:
[60:32] That's barely younger than his actual age.

Speaker 5:
[60:34] No, but when did you take yours?

Speaker 6:
[60:36] What's your delta?

Speaker 5:
[60:36] He did his three months before me.

Speaker 2:
[60:38] What is my age?

Speaker 6:
[60:39] Yeah, what is yours?

Speaker 2:
[60:40] I think I'm older. I think I might be a few years older. Who's got mine? I'm 35?

Speaker 1:
[60:45] I'm 35.

Speaker 6:
[60:46] Yes, you're healthier than Mark because you have a bigger delta on yours than Mark does.

Speaker 9:
[60:53] Dumbass, you gotta divide it.

Speaker 1:
[60:54] You brought out your delta, dumbass. But you said we were talking about deltas. I never even wanted to talk about deltas.

Speaker 7:
[61:01] You brought out delta.

Speaker 1:
[61:02] You brought it out. Now you're in third place.

Speaker 2:
[61:03] Get some sleep.

Speaker 5:
[61:04] No, I'm 23 over 29.

Speaker 1:
[61:07] I hope you enjoyed it.

Speaker 5:
[61:08] Divide his. 35 over 45.

Speaker 2:
[61:09] Now you know what siki is.

Speaker 1:
[61:13] Now you know all these religions in the world.

Speaker 2:
[61:15] All this shit.

Speaker 1:
[61:16] All the little breathing shit. You do the, That shit ain't doing nothing. I don't do that. I don't do that. Was crazy. He does all that breathing shit. I don't even know what just happened over here.

Speaker 5:
[61:26] Thank you for bailing me out.

Speaker 6:
[61:27] I appreciate that.

Speaker 1:
[61:28] You go upstate, you do your little breathing exercises.

Speaker 6:
[61:30] That shit ain't working.

Speaker 2:
[61:31] You need to take some time off, B. Now the outfits and the nails make perfect sense.

Speaker 6:
[61:35] I dress my age.

Speaker 2:
[61:37] Yo, what is your hairline on the function health?

Speaker 1:
[61:40] Can we get that? That must have had a couple of decades of functions. Yo, yo. What is mine?

Speaker 2:
[61:48] I'm 35. 35. Take seven years off.

Speaker 5:
[61:52] Damn.

Speaker 2:
[61:53] That's how old I am. I'm still old. Even with my biological age, I'm old as shit.

Speaker 5:
[61:59] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:00] Golly. What do I take it?

Speaker 5:
[62:04] Anyway. You can fix it, probably.

Speaker 2:
[62:05] Look. Wait, how would I fix it?

Speaker 5:
[62:08] I mean, I don't know why you look so tired when you said that.

Speaker 6:
[62:10] I know.

Speaker 2:
[62:10] I'm tired.

Speaker 1:
[62:11] I try to shame you into taking care of yourself.

Speaker 2:
[62:14] No, I look good now.

Speaker 1:
[62:18] That makes me crazy.

Speaker 6:
[62:19] When you sit down, your stomach goes up and your belly just like flops over.

Speaker 2:
[62:24] That's what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 6:
[62:25] For the whole interview, you're like...

Speaker 2:
[62:26] Is that your pubic hair coming so high? Why are you sweating? Son, I don't think you're 23.

Speaker 1:
[62:33] No.

Speaker 2:
[62:34] I don't think you're 23.

Speaker 6:
[62:35] Hey, numbers don't lie, man.

Speaker 1:
[62:36] But you do. You do lie, though.

Speaker 2:
[62:40] You are a liar.

Speaker 6:
[62:42] Numbers don't.

Speaker 5:
[62:43] Were you honest on the intake form? Did you say your actual age?

Speaker 2:
[62:46] Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1:
[62:47] I was like, how tall do you say you were?

Speaker 2:
[62:51] That's a good-ass point.

Speaker 6:
[62:53] I think now you have to show them your ID.

Speaker 5:
[62:55] You're built like a child, bro. For real. You got a young body, you got short height. I'm fucking.

Speaker 1:
[63:02] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[63:03] Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[63:08] I think what Mark's trying to say-

Speaker 1:
[63:09] Old-ass brink.

Speaker 6:
[63:10] It's just backfired.

Speaker 1:
[63:11] No, honestly, the synapses went fired right there.

Speaker 5:
[63:13] Early onset.

Speaker 2:
[63:14] What I think Mark's trying to say is like, there's still hope you could still be growing.

Speaker 5:
[63:18] That's what I meant to say.

Speaker 2:
[63:19] You might be able to get a couple more inches on you.

Speaker 6:
[63:22] There you go.

Speaker 2:
[63:22] It's a chance.

Speaker 6:
[63:23] There is hope.

Speaker 2:
[63:24] Highly unlikely. Come on, man.

Speaker 6:
[63:27] Gotta be optimistic. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Speaker 2:
[63:30] Anyway, look, you can own your health for a dollar a day. Think about that. $365 a year as a dollar a day. You learn more and join Function using our link. Visit functionhealth.com/flagrant. Use the gift code flagrant for a $25 credit towards your membership. Get your real age up, okay? You should do it. Not tell your girlfriend or wife. End up being younger than her.

Speaker 3:
[63:57] Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[63:58] Deal with that existential crisis. They love that. They love that. Also, my wife is still like shedding baby weight. I'm supposed to get shredded while she's going through her.

Speaker 6:
[64:08] Yeah, it's disrespectful.

Speaker 2:
[64:09] Shedding baby weight?

Speaker 6:
[64:11] Look at this guy.

Speaker 2:
[64:13] I'm trying. And how much is he aging?

Speaker 6:
[64:15] Oh, yeah, that is true.

Speaker 5:
[64:16] Stretching me out.

Speaker 6:
[64:16] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[64:17] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[64:17] Anyway, let's get back to the show.

Speaker 8:
[64:20] Wishin you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd. But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back. Priceline is here to help you make it happen. With millions of deals on flights, hotels and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com. Actual prices may vary. Limited time offer.

Speaker 5:
[64:49] I didn't realize you were such a thrill seeker. This is news to me.

Speaker 3:
[64:52] I mean, I think it's pretty much, like, there's people who are like, it's 24-7, all these things. I feel like I just like fast cars and...

Speaker 2:
[65:03] What does wifey feel about this?

Speaker 3:
[65:08] Could you fucking take it easy?

Speaker 2:
[65:10] Please, that makes sense.

Speaker 3:
[65:12] Yeah. Could you not do something stupid and crazy?

Speaker 2:
[65:15] And then you continue doing it, and then what's that?

Speaker 3:
[65:18] Well, I feel like, like I said, I haven't done the track thing in a while. It wasn't like a I don't want you to go anymore. It was just kind of like natural fall off thing. The flying, she was like, she prefers fixed wing. She prefers a plane. She's like, yeah, learn to fly a plane. Yeah. Yeah. But I haven't gone up in either of those. Motorcycle? No, I did it one time. I did it one time and I was like, nah.

Speaker 2:
[65:43] Never again.

Speaker 3:
[65:45] Just is one of those things where it's like when you know your limits thing, where you're like, this ain't for me, you know? This ain't for me.

Speaker 2:
[65:53] The bike shit is crazy.

Speaker 3:
[65:54] It ain't for me, dude. There's people I know that like, the other thing is I think there's a, like in a lot of ways, if you start your motorcycle driving at 16 and you're 40 now, like it makes sense.

Speaker 4:
[66:06] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[66:07] But if you're like, I'm gonna pick this up.

Speaker 4:
[66:09] Nope.

Speaker 2:
[66:09] It's like, it feels crazy.

Speaker 3:
[66:11] Yeah. You know? You're a motorcycle guy?

Speaker 2:
[66:12] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[66:13] That's what you ride around?

Speaker 5:
[66:14] No, I mean, not anymore. Now I'm just on an electric bike like a dad.

Speaker 2:
[66:17] I've fallen off.

Speaker 3:
[66:18] Really?

Speaker 1:
[66:18] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[66:18] But he had a proper motorcycle in New York City for years.

Speaker 5:
[66:21] Yeah, I still have it.

Speaker 1:
[66:22] Still have it.

Speaker 3:
[66:22] It's awesome.

Speaker 5:
[66:23] It's the best. I mean, I imagine in a city like this, that's also not that dangerous because you're in the city, you're going like 25 miles over the top. But then you go out of the city and just go through like little winding roads. I was never like a fast, like, you know, like motorbike guy.

Speaker 3:
[66:35] My last experience, sorry, I did the motorcycle once and then I was in Australia and I went to Daniel Ricciardo's ranch.

Speaker 2:
[66:42] Oh, in Perth?

Speaker 3:
[66:43] In Perth. And he was like, yeah, like, I got all these toys.

Speaker 2:
[66:48] He's got the dirt bikes out there, right?

Speaker 3:
[66:49] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[66:50] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[66:50] So he's like, let's ride these dirt bikes over the other part of the ranch. And I was like, yeah, I don't know, man. He's like, it's a fucking like whatever, 10 CC. I don't remember the, he's like, it's nothing. I was like, I just, I don't trust me. He was like, these are, these are fucking nothing. I go, all right. So he's like, just, I go, just tell me the, the basics, right?

Speaker 2:
[67:15] I can't wait till we hear this story from Daniel. And he's like, yeah, Tom just wouldn't stop begging me to get on the fucking dirt.

Speaker 4:
[67:20] Every time, every time.

Speaker 2:
[67:22] Just wouldn't stop pestering me about this fucking dirt.

Speaker 6:
[67:24] He just acts one time.

Speaker 3:
[67:28] This was so clear cut.

Speaker 2:
[67:30] I have friends like you, by the way, who like everything happens to them.

Speaker 6:
[67:33] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[67:33] You know, like my, I have a buddy, I won't say his name, but it's just like, yeah, this girl was like fucking banging me to come back to her room. Like just fucking banging me to stuff my dick in the mouth. And I was like, all right, fine.

Speaker 3:
[67:44] I gotta do it. I'll do it for you.

Speaker 2:
[67:45] For her.

Speaker 3:
[67:46] What does she mean?

Speaker 2:
[67:47] She feels so insecure.

Speaker 1:
[67:48] I don't even like coming.

Speaker 2:
[67:49] It's just like.

Speaker 3:
[67:52] Okay, go, go. So he fills it up in this one garage. And then I go, just tell me, I go, I'm not an experienced rider. I know this is a mini bike, but like, what do I need to know? And he's basically like, this is your gas. I think, you know, up for like, there's like three, it's like three years. And he's like, and then, these are your brakes. Your brakes are right here, like on the, let's say the right side. I'm like, all right. So we're going up this hill, and then we start like cruising. And when cruising, they say, let's say like 30. It's like it's up this dirt path, and I'm like, this feels good, it's fun. And then you're like, man, this is fucking rad. I like this. And as this thing comes up to the top, you see that there's a turn to the left. So I'm cruising, and I'm like, all right, well, now it's time to slow down for this turn. So all I know is ease off here and pull this brake. So I start to do that, and I turn, slide out, fall off, right? And it takes me a second to just check, like, is everything okay? So I'm checking, there's blood coming out of here, there's blood here, but nothing's like broken. And I turn to Daniel, and he's laughing so hard that he can't even say words. Like, he's just in tears, laughing. And then he's like, ah, and he's like, you okay? And I go, yeah, what's, I mean, I did what you said. He goes, I forgot to tell you that, like, the left side is like the rear brakes.

Speaker 1:
[69:23] So he threw the front brake off.

Speaker 5:
[69:24] Yeah, he locked up the front wheel.

Speaker 2:
[69:26] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[69:28] I mean, that would have been cool from someone who said, I don't know how to do this. And then he just like patched me up, like we had to clean everything and patch me up. I was like, bro, like, you could have said, he goes, yeah, I just, I forgot.

Speaker 2:
[69:41] He's like, I need to have fun too.

Speaker 3:
[69:42] I need to have fun too. It's fun to watch people eat shit, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[69:46] Ricciardo is the man, by the way.

Speaker 3:
[69:48] He is the man. He's the man. He's the coolest dude I know, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[69:51] Did that, I think he did it right.

Speaker 3:
[69:53] Oh my god.

Speaker 2:
[69:54] He maintained a positive, Daniel Ricciardo. So if you watch, do you watch Drive to Survive, the Formula One show? Do you remember when that documentary came out? It was a documentary about Formula One.

Speaker 8:
[70:05] It is white people shit, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[70:07] It's super white people shit. But yeah, he's just-

Speaker 6:
[70:10] He's a coach or a driver?

Speaker 2:
[70:12] Driver. He's a driver.

Speaker 6:
[70:13] Okay, okay.

Speaker 2:
[70:14] But he just maintained positive vibes the entire time.

Speaker 3:
[70:17] Always.

Speaker 2:
[70:17] The most hyper competitive. There's 20 spots.

Speaker 3:
[70:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[70:21] There's 20 people on the planet that get to drive the car. Yeah. And your teammate wants to take your fucking head off. Nobody is your friend. No one likes you. Everybody's jockeying for another seat at a different car if you're, what is it, your contract's about to go up. And the guy won races and made crazy money.

Speaker 6:
[70:42] And he's got his life.

Speaker 3:
[70:43] Oh yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 5:
[70:44] Standard issue Australian.

Speaker 3:
[70:45] His- Awesome dude.

Speaker 6:
[70:47] The ranch is sick?

Speaker 3:
[70:49] Amazing.

Speaker 5:
[70:50] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[70:51] He is, and he's, this is him, this smile is this guy like all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[70:56] He's handsome, like retired at 35.

Speaker 3:
[70:58] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[70:58] Just having the best time ever.

Speaker 3:
[70:59] Like what have you been doing like so far in life? Well for like 15 years I was a professional racer since I was like 21. Yeah. Oh. And you have this great disposition. Yeah, he's great dude.

Speaker 2:
[71:09] Yeah, he's the man. But it is a crazy, like think about that there are 20 spots. How many jobs are like that?

Speaker 3:
[71:17] No, I know.

Speaker 1:
[71:18] That's like just 20.

Speaker 3:
[71:19] Because even when you think about like pro sports where it's like the elite of the elite. The NBA, there's 400 and some NBA players, you know. NFL, 53 man roster. You're still super elite. But this is like 20. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2:
[71:33] And it's kind of hard to conceptualize because you're like, well, what makes you good at just driving?

Speaker 3:
[71:37] I know. And they're so young. Like when they get in, when they get.

Speaker 2:
[71:41] Now I feel like they're much younger than they used to be. I feel like back in the day, the guys would have like longer careers.

Speaker 3:
[71:47] Some of them last long. Yeah. But for the most part, these are like.

Speaker 2:
[71:52] Yeah, they're like kids.

Speaker 3:
[71:53] 20.

Speaker 2:
[71:53] And they go from driving a go-kart.

Speaker 3:
[71:56] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[71:56] To driving the fastest cars on the planet.

Speaker 3:
[71:59] It's wild.

Speaker 2:
[72:00] It is weird that there isn't this like intermediary.

Speaker 3:
[72:02] I know. It's go-kart, then it's like Formula 3.

Speaker 2:
[72:05] Formula 3 or Formula 4.

Speaker 3:
[72:06] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[72:07] But why is go-kart the best comparison?

Speaker 3:
[72:11] I think it's the only thing that can be accessible to somebody who goes, I want to race, like what could you possibly get into?

Speaker 2:
[72:17] That's right, because all the other cars is just fucking millions of dollars.

Speaker 3:
[72:20] It's so much money. And even like you hear these stories of like Lewis Hamilton and I'm sure a bunch of other guys where they're like, I wanted to race, even that go-karting was expensive for us. And the people had to sell things and work second jobs just to let their kid go-kart.

Speaker 5:
[72:33] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[72:34] But we gotta like talk to one of these guys and ask them like what the actual competitive advantage is. Because they're not engineers, right? It's not like, yes, they understand the cars and some of them know how to fix them, et cetera. But what do they know that we don't know?

Speaker 3:
[72:49] Well, the one thing that I learned, because I thought, you see about these, how the budgets are crazy for Mercedes, Ferrari, McLaren, and how these other ones have a fraction of the budget.

Speaker 2:
[73:01] And they also get some money from the...

Speaker 3:
[73:03] But here's the thing, that money goes into, even though you think you see 20 F1 cars, these ain't the same cars.

Speaker 2:
[73:13] Oh, that is...

Speaker 3:
[73:14] They're not driving the same shit.

Speaker 2:
[73:15] Yeah, this is capitalism in its most pure form. And here's another thing, even the cars on the team are not the same.

Speaker 3:
[73:24] Not the same.

Speaker 2:
[73:25] And that's the thing that they try to pretend isn't the truth. But like, Max's car might have 20 engineers working on it, and the second car at Red Bull might have three.

Speaker 3:
[73:37] And you could be a driver who's top tier, and you get into one of those, and you go, this car, like, they know, they're like, this car is bullshit, you know? Like, the way it handles, whatever, like, everything about it, they go, this feels like I'm driving a truck. And you realize, like, oh, I thought it was the same, like, it's not the same.

Speaker 1:
[73:56] It's not the same team.

Speaker 6:
[73:58] Why would they make the car just as good?

Speaker 2:
[74:00] So they say they do, and it's the same engine, and the same parts, but, like, the amount of people working on it to tweak it, basically what a team like Red Bull has to decide is, hey, we gotta keep Max happy, and if the car's not that good, we have to deploy way more people to working on that car to get the most out of it, and we can only really do that with one guy.

Speaker 5:
[74:20] Oh no, I'd be pissed. If you're the second guy, there'd be 14 missing scientists.

Speaker 2:
[74:24] And there's... But that's the shit where basically you gotta be a politician in that game, because you could have a stank attitude about it, and then people don't want to work with you, or you could be lobbying the team constantly to get them to support. There's all this behind the scenes drama that's kind of interesting that, again, there's 20 spots, so if you're a fucking pain in the ass and you're not winning every race, they're gonna go, I can get another guy to lose.

Speaker 3:
[74:53] You forget how sensitive those guys are to the mechanics of on a lap, what they sense.

Speaker 2:
[75:00] So that's the competitive advantage, right?

Speaker 3:
[75:02] I feel like it is, because the same way that you and I, anyone who works a microphone.

Speaker 2:
[75:08] We can feel a crowd, we can feel the room.

Speaker 3:
[75:10] But you also go like, this is tinny, or this feedback is here. Those guys, they're like, this understeer, it doesn't feel right. Something that I feel like most people would just be like, this is just how this car moves. They're so dialed in on things, that they know, I can't win in this car.

Speaker 5:
[75:27] Andrew gotta have a good neck. You gotta have a good neck.

Speaker 3:
[75:30] I think Ricardo told me, I was like, how much do you guys think about weight? How much you weigh? And it's, because everything counts. And he's like, the heavy in F1 is I think 160 pounds. You wanna be under that.

Speaker 5:
[75:45] You can't get dwarves doing that?

Speaker 2:
[75:46] I mean, but you can't get little people?

Speaker 5:
[75:49] They have midget racing.

Speaker 3:
[75:50] Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 5:
[75:52] That's the car's technique.

Speaker 3:
[75:52] Maybe that's the secret to it all.

Speaker 1:
[75:54] We need a car.

Speaker 3:
[75:55] Right?

Speaker 5:
[75:56] Like, I don't know, why not?

Speaker 3:
[75:57] A top tier little man driver?

Speaker 5:
[75:58] Would that not be a benefit? I mean, there's people who try to cut their legs off to compete in like Paralympics.

Speaker 3:
[76:03] You ever heard of this? Jesus Christ, yes.

Speaker 5:
[76:04] There's dudes that are like, What do you mean they cut them off? So they'll have like, Fable bodied people.

Speaker 2:
[76:09] Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 5:
[76:11] That maybe.

Speaker 2:
[76:12] That's another level of competitiveness.

Speaker 5:
[76:12] The one I've heard of is people that have like a spinal cord injury, they'll have disabled legs. So their legs don't work.

Speaker 2:
[76:17] You might as well hack them off.

Speaker 5:
[76:18] So you might as well chop them off so you can roll around.

Speaker 1:
[76:20] Faster.

Speaker 5:
[76:20] And the guys that roll around with no legs go a little faster than the guys with the legs.

Speaker 1:
[76:24] Wow.

Speaker 5:
[76:25] So the dude in the dark will be like, Can I get my legs back? He's like, Nah, you're never getting your legs back. He goes, All right, chop them off. Because I'm getting the gold. All right, I'm competing for America. I'm making the team.

Speaker 2:
[76:32] But think about like Michael Jordan. Whatever it takes.

Speaker 4:
[76:35] Jordan would absolutely do that. I was thinking about it. Without a doubt.

Speaker 2:
[76:37] That's like competitiveness. That's like competitiveness.

Speaker 4:
[76:38] Without a doubt.

Speaker 2:
[76:40] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[76:40] Jordan never cut off his legs. No.

Speaker 3:
[76:42] Although That's Ronnie Lott's story. You know, the finger.

Speaker 2:
[76:44] With the finger.

Speaker 3:
[76:45] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[76:45] I respect that.

Speaker 3:
[76:46] What is that? Ronnie Lott got his like finger caught in like a face mask. And it was the kind of thing where anybody would be like, what are we going to do? And they're like, well, you're out of this game and we'll whatever. We'll go to the hospital and do whatever. He was just like, just take it off. Yeah. Like cut it off.

Speaker 5:
[77:02] Yakuza.

Speaker 3:
[77:03] And went right back in the game.

Speaker 5:
[77:04] And they did?

Speaker 3:
[77:05] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[77:05] Who's the trainer?

Speaker 2:
[77:06] Who's the team? We live in a new era where like the teams have to pretend they care about the athletes. Like they put you in that little tent. They're like, we have to see if you got a concussion. And it's really just a guy in there like, so you're gay?

Speaker 1:
[77:18] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[77:21] Are you a fucking bitch?

Speaker 2:
[77:22] Yeah, look at you, you pussy.

Speaker 3:
[77:23] Well, you don't remember your fucking birthday. So what? Get out there and hit the guy.

Speaker 2:
[77:27] You have to change being in the game. You have to remember what a nickel defense is?

Speaker 3:
[77:30] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[77:30] Go ahead, get out there.

Speaker 5:
[77:32] This man, he's fingers broken.

Speaker 1:
[77:35] It is a little, it is a weird time for sports where they have to pretend a little bit more.

Speaker 3:
[77:40] They have to pretend. Football more than, that whole thing is a big pretend thing where football, we know what's happening. They don't give a fuck about you. They literally treat them like cattle. That's the way they, people get, they're like, they just take away your key card to work, to walk in. That's how they cut people. Oh, to get into the facility. They're just like, your shit doesn't work anymore. They don't give a fuck about you.

Speaker 5:
[78:02] You almost played college ball, right?

Speaker 3:
[78:03] No, I played high school football and I almost played small D3, D2 ball, but I was like, I'm definitely done. And I also, they told me before I went. Was that?

Speaker 6:
[78:14] Not exciting enough.

Speaker 3:
[78:16] Well, the thing was when I, the one I was going to go to, the admissions office called me in June or like end of May. And they were like, I was like planning on going. And they're like, your math scores are so bad from high school. You got to take a math class this summer in order to come to school here. And I just was like, I'm not doing that. And it was just like, okay, goodbye. It was like, that was it. And then in August, like two days before camp, the line coach called me. He's like, we're excited to have you son. It's gonna be like, you know, the whole speech. And I was like, oh, I'm not coming to school there. And he was like, what? I go, yeah, you guys said I had to take a math course. I didn't do that shit. And he was like, what the fuck? And he's like, no one told me that. I go, I mean, I didn't have your number. Like, you guys told me that. And it was just like, all right. And he was like, bye. And we just hung out. I was like, yeah, I'm just not doing that. So it was just a disinterest in having to do math and also being like, I'm not. I was, once I got in college and I saw how hard the guys worked that were on the team. And like what I was doing, I was like, there's no fucking way I would do this.

Speaker 2:
[79:28] Also for like D2, D3 football. D2, D3 basketball, even if you're riding the bench, it's fun, your whole body isn't destroyed for the rest of your life. D3, you were playing the line?

Speaker 3:
[79:41] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[79:42] Yeah, like your brain is going to be different.

Speaker 3:
[79:45] Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
[79:46] From practice.

Speaker 3:
[79:46] From what? From nothing. From the love of the game.

Speaker 1:
[79:49] We won a championship, D3.

Speaker 3:
[79:51] Yeah, no, no. You're totally right. And I saw that like these guys, their off-season conditioning, where they were getting up at like five. And like, you know, it was just like so much work. And it really is, like the truth is, if you really, really love it that much, I could see like, like I did it. I played D2, D3, and I was, I loved it.

Speaker 7:
[80:12] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[80:13] But I knew that I didn't love it like that.

Speaker 7:
[80:15] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[80:16] You know, like I loved it when it was like fun and I got to play all the time. Yeah. And like, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't that type of commitment. Yeah. And when I saw like how I was living in college, I was like, there's no way I could rock it. Where did you go to school? I went to a tiny school in North Carolina called Lenore Rhyne, like a small, small school. What is it? Lenore Rhyne.

Speaker 2:
[80:39] Lenore Rhyne.

Speaker 3:
[80:40] Yeah. Yeah. It's the only school I got into. I didn't think I was going to get in anywhere.

Speaker 2:
[80:46] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[80:46] In the high school.

Speaker 2:
[80:48] Guide to the Counselor?

Speaker 3:
[80:49] Like I went into the office. I went to a small prep school. And he was like. For football? No, no. We moved. I was in Milwaukee in a big public high school. And we moved to Florida. Went to the small private school. I was a terrible student. And I went in to see that counselor. And he was like, you don't have a lot of options. And I was like, really? He was like, no. He was like, your grades are terrible, man. I was like, okay. And then he left the room. And there was a piece of paper on the desk that had my class's GPA of everybody in descending order. So you could see like all the way down. And I'm looking at it and I'm like.

Speaker 5:
[81:29] Probably in the middle, right?

Speaker 3:
[81:31] And I like flipped the page. And I'm second to last above a guy named Rocky.

Speaker 5:
[81:42] I was like, And what was Rocky like?

Speaker 3:
[81:45] Dumber than shit. I mean, if you met Rocky, you'd be like, bro, this guy. Rocky's a box of hammers. Like he can barely fucking spit a sentence out. And I was like, holy shit, I'm almost as dumb as Rocky? And then he was like, where do you want to go to school? And I was like, for some reason I got locked in about, I love Denver. I visited once and I was like, I want to go to DU, Denver University. And he was like, good fucking luck, man. So I sent them an application and they denied me. And then I was like, shit. And I go, I don't know where to go. And I don't know why he pulled this school up. He was like, this is a school, it's in North Carolina. It's in the foothills of the Appalachian. It's like a small, picturesque kind of college town. And I was like, all right. I went on a visit and I was like, I don't want to go to school here. I don't want to go to school here. And they were basically like, well, tell us where you want to go. I remembered that even though I had the fantasy of the big college experience, I didn't want to stay in Florida. I probably could have gotten into some big university, but I was like, I don't really want to be in this state anymore. And so I applied and they let me in. They let me in. And I just went, super small, really small college. But as soon as I left, I was like, all right, I need to go to a bigger, I went to Boston. I did real estate for the summer. Then I went to DC and I worked for America's Most Wanted. And then I went to LA.

Speaker 2:
[83:19] Doing what?

Speaker 3:
[83:20] I was a researcher. I would research stories for them to do profiles on.

Speaker 2:
[83:24] Isn't it, don't we know who's most wanted? Well, they have to do.

Speaker 3:
[83:32] There's so many fugitives. But they needed to be a good story because it's television.

Speaker 2:
[83:37] So you had to discern if this most wanted person is also wanted by the American public.

Speaker 3:
[83:42] Basically, it's like, who is this person, what's the story behind it, and would this be a compelling story to produce? But also, is the person worthy of a profile on America's Most?

Speaker 5:
[83:58] People get caught from that show all the time.

Speaker 3:
[84:00] Hundreds.

Speaker 2:
[84:00] Oh, so it's good. Hundreds of shows.

Speaker 3:
[84:02] Oh, the show wasn't good. There was a show at one point, and Fox was like, we're canceling the show. And the backlash was so severe that they were like, put it back on.

Speaker 5:
[84:10] No way.

Speaker 3:
[84:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[84:12] Did you discover any cases that got solved later?

Speaker 3:
[84:14] I did, the funny thing is, I had a, so I interned there, I got an internship when I was in college, so one summer I interned there. And that's how they offered me a job after I graduated. And at one point, I was only there, my first day was September 10th, 2001, okay?

Speaker 2:
[84:30] So, what happened soon after that?

Speaker 3:
[84:32] Tuesday was kind of wild.

Speaker 5:
[84:33] It was the most wanted thing.

Speaker 3:
[84:36] Yeah, we just started profiling terrorists.

Speaker 2:
[84:38] That's a fun pitch on the 12th.

Speaker 1:
[84:40] I got an idea.

Speaker 4:
[84:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[84:42] Story of a lifetime.

Speaker 5:
[84:43] We're going on a tour of Oran.

Speaker 3:
[84:45] It was real crazy, but I did pitch, they would give you these research documents, and I was like, how about this guy? And it was this guy who had been convicted of some horrible crimes in Costa Rica, American guy, and then he bribed his way out, and they were like, this guy's a nightmare. So I pitched the story in the pit there, and they take it into consideration. Then I had an offer to re-up my contract, and I said, no, I'm moving to LA. I want to pursue entertainment. So I moved to LA, but a month later, they're like, here, we're going to do that piece that you pitched. Do you want to go on location for it as an associate producer on it? And I was like, yeah, for sure. So I was able to go to Costa Rica and do the piece with them. But it was a really chaotic kind of world to dive into these stories. You know, you see the eight-minute version of it when you're reading the stuff every day. I mean, it's gnarly dudes, gnarly dudes.

Speaker 2:
[85:57] And they caught the guy?

Speaker 3:
[85:59] That guy? I don't remember actually if they caught that guy. We caught a number of people even in the short time I was there.

Speaker 2:
[86:04] But is there anybody you caught that you were like, this guy's not that bad? Like you read his stuff and you're like, he's just robbing banks.

Speaker 3:
[86:12] Who cares? There would be things where you were just like, this is not that exciting.

Speaker 2:
[86:17] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[86:17] You're looking for like, exciting, and then I mean, the show is credited with Whitey Bolger.

Speaker 2:
[86:22] But wasn't Whitey kind of an inside?

Speaker 3:
[86:25] Well, there's that whole story, but I'm saying him getting caught is credited to somebody watching the show, because they featured him all the time. All the time.

Speaker 2:
[86:35] Yeah, but like everybody knew Whitey in Boston.

Speaker 3:
[86:37] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[86:38] It's not like-

Speaker 5:
[86:38] Called the FBI director.

Speaker 6:
[86:40] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[86:40] He's like, he's one of our guys.

Speaker 2:
[86:41] Whitey was like working at a flower shop.

Speaker 5:
[86:47] They look similar.

Speaker 6:
[86:48] I thought they caught him outside of Boston.

Speaker 3:
[86:50] They caught him in LA. Yeah, they got him in Santa Monica.

Speaker 2:
[86:53] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[86:53] Was it a little sketchy doing these pieces though? Because these guys have a vested interest in not being caught. Yeah. Then you are like a young kid doing these investigative pieces. Was there ever an internal conversation like, hey, don't let people know you're working on this?

Speaker 3:
[87:08] Not really. I mean, the thing is, law enforcement would treat you like you were celebrities. Anytime, you know, I got pulled over in DC and they saw like my hat and they were like, you've been drinking. I was like, mm-mm. And they're like, is that America's Most wanted? I was like, yeah, I worked there like, oh, that's tight, man.

Speaker 5:
[87:27] Can I get that hat?

Speaker 3:
[87:29] I was like, yeah, here you go, man.

Speaker 5:
[87:30] That's crazy.

Speaker 3:
[87:31] They loved, they loved the show. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[87:33] I mean, he did uncover also a serial killer.

Speaker 2:
[87:37] Oh, that's right.

Speaker 5:
[87:38] Partially his time working on the show.

Speaker 2:
[87:40] That gives you way more credence when you think about it.

Speaker 5:
[87:42] He's a journalist.

Speaker 2:
[87:43] You're a journalist, especially an investigative journalist with people who do violent crime, kill people.

Speaker 3:
[87:49] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[87:50] And one of the things that, one of your side quests in life, as you have many side quests, is there is a serial killer on the loose that happens to be tracking Garth Brooks.

Speaker 3:
[88:01] Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2:
[88:03] Allegedly.

Speaker 3:
[88:03] Allegedly.

Speaker 2:
[88:04] We gotta put that out because apparently he's quite litigious, this guy.

Speaker 3:
[88:08] In fact, the thing is, his guy's got deep pockets too, you gotta remember that. Yeah, yeah. You know what's crazy is that, like, talking about GB, he, we talked about just how weird his social media is. That's how this all started. Like, you saw his Facebook.

Speaker 2:
[88:26] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[88:27] He's doing it raw.

Speaker 3:
[88:28] You remember that.

Speaker 2:
[88:28] With him and his wife, that thing?

Speaker 3:
[88:29] No, no, when he joins Facebook.

Speaker 5:
[88:31] Cool stuff.

Speaker 2:
[88:32] Can you get that up when he joins Facebook?

Speaker 3:
[88:35] This is how this all started, it was just commentary on this guy's, hey, I just decided to join Facebook. It's one of the weird, have you seen it? It's one of the weirdest things that I've ever seen. He's like, so I just joined Facebook, and what he says in it, you're like, this is like an alien talking.

Speaker 5:
[88:55] Are you familiar with Garth Brooks, contextually?

Speaker 6:
[88:57] Just that he's a country singer.

Speaker 2:
[88:59] Country singer.

Speaker 6:
[89:00] I don't know what he looks like right now.

Speaker 5:
[89:01] Iconic.

Speaker 6:
[89:02] I know he's big, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[89:03] So big that he didn't put his music on Spotify. He's like, you gotta buy the album still.

Speaker 3:
[89:07] I don't know if that's changed. Amazon. So he was like, he's like, you can't get Apple music. And they're like, you can't find Garth here. He's like, my shit's on Amazon and at Walmart.

Speaker 5:
[89:16] And Facebook.

Speaker 6:
[89:17] And he was either one who didn't want to put his name on when we were-

Speaker 2:
[89:20] No, no, no, different one, different.

Speaker 3:
[89:22] So this, just so you know, is like the, this is what the first thing I ever commented on. And this was what he put out. I just thought it was weird, dude.

Speaker 11:
[89:32] I guess it's official. We're now on Facebook. I really wasn't sure about this at the start. But then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense. She said, think of it more as a conversation. I like that. But I'm already finding out on my own. So it's wiping the walls out between you and me. And I really like that. It allows us into each other's worlds, or I guess in my case, hotel room. When I think about things I want to post, I want to post cool stuff, slick stuff, neat stuff. Most of the stuff I'm going to post is going to be raw stuff like this. This is just who I am. So if this is truly a conversation, then I say let the conversation begin.

Speaker 3:
[90:18] All right, that was it.

Speaker 6:
[90:19] This is how we think all white people are.

Speaker 3:
[90:20] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[90:21] Really? This is how we think you guys talk at home. I mean, it's so weird. Slick stuff, cool stuff.

Speaker 3:
[90:26] But it's like, the voice stuff is like, I like that. Like he drops into a different cognitive. It's just like, it's awkward. All I did was like say how awkward it was. Somebody's gonna fucking first person time ever seeing a video. Like it's so strange, you know? We just talked about it. Then he did another like press conference or something. I was like, that was weird as shit too. Like I was like, this guy's kind of, there's a thing where somebody gets to a level of fame. You might not realize how famous he is.

Speaker 2:
[90:57] Oh, he's number one.

Speaker 3:
[90:59] He's so easy.

Speaker 1:
[90:59] The highest stadiums.

Speaker 3:
[91:00] And also.

Speaker 5:
[91:01] Selling country out as well.

Speaker 2:
[91:02] And unbelievably talented.

Speaker 3:
[91:04] So talented.

Speaker 2:
[91:04] Like the shows are incredible.

Speaker 5:
[91:06] The shows are amazing.

Speaker 3:
[91:08] And literally, he'll put a stadium on, like a legit, like where the fucking giants play. And it sells, like you're selling out a club, like they're like, oh it's sold out. Sold out like that. Okay. So so so famous. And I think when you're so so famous for so long, socially, you become kind of awkward. You've seen it all with Madonna, and Michael Jackson, but yeah, you just get weird.

Speaker 2:
[91:28] It's Tom Cruise dancing on the couch.

Speaker 3:
[91:29] It's weird, yes. So I just kind of was like, this guy's fucking weird, man. You know? And jokingly said that like there's missing people, and I don't know, they kind of line up with places he's been.

Speaker 2:
[91:43] But was that a joke or has that actually happened?

Speaker 3:
[91:46] I mean, I completely just said it as like an alleged silly thing. Right?

Speaker 2:
[91:52] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[91:53] And the funny thing is you know from being in this space that as people start to give that legs, the easiest way out of it is if you're the person and you want like, cause they started to like take over his social media, is just to like lean into it or say, acknowledge, just say something, be like, yeah, I chopped up some bar, like I'm not a killer, whatever, pick some angle. But like the full ignore makes people get louder and louder. So they just got louder and louder, like took over, he would do a post, there'd be like 5,800 comments all about, I want my grandmother back. Like crazy, people were just like, I want to see my family again, you know?

Speaker 1:
[92:40] They just went crazy with it.

Speaker 3:
[92:42] And this lasted a while, he shut out, no more comments. No Facebook, you can't comment on his Instagram, on his Facebook, no, he just shut it down. And then I was like, wow, this is crazy. And I wasn't like hitting this up every day, it was just something he kind of threw out there and it took off. Eventually, I met somebody whose family member worked closely with him. And they were like, I was like, does he know? And they were like, oh, he, yeah, he fucking knows, dude. He knows you, he knows what you said. I'm like, is he mad? And he goes, I mean, Garth doesn't hate, the family said, Garth doesn't hate anybody. And I was like, okay. And then they said that he said, what, that Garth saw my basketball injury video and said, karma, karma, right there. But then like, earlier this year, I get it.

Speaker 1:
[93:40] Just Garth watching the video, somebody on his team sending it to him, you're gonna love this. Yeah, love this.

Speaker 5:
[93:46] Courts got some slick stuff.

Speaker 3:
[93:48] They got this, this, we get this book at the studio. And I'm like, this isn't real. And I flip through it, and then they're like, I see clips of this guy. A guy wrote a book about, is Garth Brooks a serial killer?

Speaker 2:
[94:04] No.

Speaker 3:
[94:05] He did a full, a full.

Speaker 2:
[94:06] Bodies in Low Places, which is a play on friends. Oh, that's his song?

Speaker 6:
[94:12] That's the only country song I know.

Speaker 3:
[94:14] Yeah, that's the only country song most people know, right? Yeah. But this guy does a full examination.

Speaker 5:
[94:20] Two brave journalists, there to expose the music industry's darkest secret.

Speaker 3:
[94:24] Yeah, it's so strange.

Speaker 1:
[94:25] Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer.

Speaker 5:
[94:28] Two detectives, one kid, that's awesome.

Speaker 3:
[94:30] It's just so silly that something that literally started as a commentary on that video I showed you turned into this. Matthew Cox?

Speaker 5:
[94:39] Is that, do you know this guy, Matthew Cox? He's like, I think, yeah, this guy right here.

Speaker 3:
[94:45] I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[94:46] He's a big podcaster. He goes on a bunch of podcasts.

Speaker 3:
[94:49] Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5:
[94:49] And I forget exactly what he did before. He had some kind of criminal past, and then got out of prison, talks about his life and crimes.

Speaker 3:
[94:55] There's a few guys like that. Yeah, yeah. It's a good lane.

Speaker 5:
[94:58] He's one of those, he's actually really entertaining on pods. I've never met him before, but he's a, that's shocking.

Speaker 3:
[95:03] He turned into this shit, dude, yeah. Bro.

Speaker 5:
[95:06] You can't have him on the pod. You know, that would just give more fodder.

Speaker 3:
[95:09] I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[95:10] But.

Speaker 3:
[95:10] Yeah. It could be fun. It could be fun. I've always, I tried to get Garth on, because at one point, they reached out and they said, Garth's gonna do some interviews. Would you like him to be on the podcast? I go, of course.

Speaker 2:
[95:22] Of course.

Speaker 3:
[95:23] So they were like, write something that we can show to one of his people.

Speaker 2:
[95:29] And that's where the book came from.

Speaker 3:
[95:34] I just write this whole thing about how I would love to have him on. I'm just very much interested in having him on, and interested in his career, and all this and that. And then the person that I'm talking to says, I had a conversation with their guy, and this is how lazy agents and shit are. The agent told my guy, instead of confirming, he goes, didn't he say something crazy about Garth? Instead of looking to it, he just asked you guys. I feel like that could go wrong for him. I feel like that guy has said something. You just fucking Google it. But eventually they were like, yeah, he's not coming up. Not happening. Not happening, no.

Speaker 2:
[96:14] I think we need to make that happen.

Speaker 3:
[96:15] Yeah, that would be awesome.

Speaker 2:
[96:16] How do we get Garth?

Speaker 3:
[96:18] You have Garth on here, and then you just have me walk out. Oh. Hey, partner.

Speaker 1:
[96:25] America's Most wanted to have Cowboy Hat.

Speaker 3:
[96:28] I can get John Walsh here to be. We've been looking for you.

Speaker 2:
[96:32] You are weirdly tuned in to internet culture. I remember when I was doing your pod.

Speaker 6:
[96:36] Is there any credence to that?

Speaker 2:
[96:39] Yeah, so what?

Speaker 1:
[96:40] Like if somebody writes a whole book on it, there gotta be some.

Speaker 3:
[96:42] I haven't read the book, but it's also, it's like, hey man, weren't you on tour in Lafayette? You know there's a missing person there. You're like, yeah, a lot of people.

Speaker 2:
[96:50] If you tour the country, people are missing around the country, so you could put it to them.

Speaker 3:
[96:54] Allegedly.

Speaker 2:
[96:55] Also, it's very reasonable to assume that if you have a stadium full of people, there's a serial killer in there.

Speaker 3:
[97:03] Sure, someone's gonna die after the show, man. It's not crazy.

Speaker 2:
[97:07] Yeah, they're gonna follow you around the country.

Speaker 1:
[97:09] 85,000 people, hey shut up.

Speaker 3:
[97:11] Yeah, something went wrong. Definitely killed somebody.

Speaker 2:
[97:13] No, but what I was saying is when I was in your pod, like I remember watching this guy, oh my, I'm gonna, I forget his name, like I had always seen you like connected to like internet-y stuff, like for guys our age is kind of odd to know like deep internet shit.

Speaker 3:
[97:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[97:32] Even when I come into the office and like the young folks in the office, like I'll say certain things, they'll kind of laugh at me like how the fuck do you know about it? And I'm scrolling while I take a shit and then I see something. But it was this tailor in Singapore.

Speaker 3:
[97:48] Hong Kong.

Speaker 2:
[97:50] I thought it was Singapore. They would like sexually harass the guys that he was making suits for.

Speaker 3:
[97:55] He messaged me yesterday. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[97:57] Okay. After I did your pod and we talked about it, he hit me up.

Speaker 3:
[98:00] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[98:00] He's like, dude, we got to do a suit or something like that. And I was like, I don't know about that. But the guy is hilarious.

Speaker 3:
[98:06] He's hilarious. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[98:08] And I think you know more like his father was a very famous tailor or something like that.

Speaker 3:
[98:13] The place is called Sam's Tailor. And in Hong Kong, Hong Kong has this really interesting history of, well, for many things, but there was obviously a lot of Indian immigrants that came.

Speaker 2:
[98:25] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[98:25] And one of the trades they brought with them was suit making, like actually, you know, the clothing. And so there's parts in Hong Kong that is just like tailor after tailor. And a lot of them are Indian, right? Like Indian immigrants who ended up there. And his father's place, where he is now, Sam's Taylor, is like, they've dressed, I think, the last six US presidents have gotten suits there.

Speaker 2:
[98:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[98:59] The walls are adorned, like a lot of this place, with like just famous soccer players, actors. I mean, like a lot of people have gone to this place. It's like super legit. I saw his videos and I was just like, they're hilarious. Same kind of thing. I'm just like, you got to get up a video. Playing them.

Speaker 2:
[99:14] So this is give an example of it. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. We'll find a good one.

Speaker 6:
[99:18] This is how you get into Illuminati, right?

Speaker 2:
[99:20] Get him with like a male and then like in his in his office.

Speaker 5:
[99:30] Yeah, in like the fitting room.

Speaker 2:
[99:31] Yeah. Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

Speaker 5:
[99:35] Has he stopped doing this kind of content as much? No.

Speaker 2:
[99:39] Keep going. Just have him standing next to like a-

Speaker 3:
[99:41] Is this his personal account or is this Sam's?

Speaker 2:
[99:44] That's Sam's tailor.

Speaker 3:
[99:45] It is surprising that there's not more of him. Like that, scroll up, that guy on the left there. That's what he does.

Speaker 2:
[99:50] Go.

Speaker 12:
[99:51] Young American boy, how old are you?

Speaker 3:
[99:55] That young?

Speaker 12:
[99:56] Are you sure? Yeah. This young American boy is actually Polish. His parents are born in Poland. They emigrated to the United States. And this bastard sold out Lewandowski and Europe to be part of fucking Trump's ICE regime. cunt. sold out to Trump.

Speaker 4:
[100:20] You know what I mean?

Speaker 12:
[100:21] I don't even understand who does this in this world. You know Trump is bombing Iran, destroying everybody. Bastard, you have Lewandowski. You know who is Lewandowski? Who is Lewandowski? USC has a well-cut bastard, doesn't know who is Lewandowski.

Speaker 6:
[100:38] You pay for this shit?

Speaker 1:
[100:40] Son, it's insanity. I would hate this. Yeah.

Speaker 12:
[100:44] Smells like a yank, disgusting bombing pig. No accent, maybe accent girl. Cannot decide accent color. Cannot decide USC or Poland. But can I breast-pump it with a curving kick? There is the peak of my pockmark quest.

Speaker 2:
[100:59] This kid is free.

Speaker 3:
[101:00] Yeah, this kid is like, what the now?

Speaker 12:
[101:02] Fully lined, your face is burning. Overlapping buttons on a fully functional cup. Even porky pig here. Porky pig is absolutely... Ooh, porky pig is absolutely gift wrapped in my 4D fit. Let me give you one thing. He may be porky, but he's got his own Chinese gimp here. come to China. Fix up a Chinese. Okay, let's see. Let's open them up.

Speaker 1:
[101:30] Oh, that jaw is swollen.

Speaker 12:
[101:32] I can feel the glory of the inside. Lovely. I've made him a shirt, too. Wow, look at the sponginess. Let's sit him around.

Speaker 10:
[101:41] The sponginess.

Speaker 12:
[101:42] And as you can see, no matter how porky you are, no matter how, he's shivering now, no matter how non-pull you are, whoever you are, I will absolutely gift wrap you. Absolutely gift wrap you.

Speaker 3:
[101:57] How would you do with that, do you think?

Speaker 12:
[101:58] No matter how hard I go, this guy is so strong in the glutes. This is nuts.

Speaker 3:
[102:03] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[102:03] No effect on him. Paulus.

Speaker 3:
[102:05] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[102:05] Yeah. How would you react to this type of Taylor?

Speaker 6:
[102:09] I mean, it wouldn't get that far.

Speaker 2:
[102:11] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[102:12] You pay for this?

Speaker 3:
[102:14] Well, no. Well, sort of.

Speaker 6:
[102:15] Give me $1,000, I'll insult you and smack the shit out of you.

Speaker 3:
[102:19] He doesn't do it the same to everybody. It's not the same treatment to everybody. So some of them he just sexually harasses.

Speaker 2:
[102:25] You got to get the little Asian. Find him with a little Asian, he goes.

Speaker 3:
[102:28] He was really aggressive with, he's not, he's always has aggressive energy. It's not like always face smacks and like insults. Sometimes he's just like overly effusive with like compliments, but he's just like really into it.

Speaker 2:
[102:43] Sexually.

Speaker 5:
[102:44] So he does custom work, you know what I mean? Whoever you are, you're getting a custom treatment.

Speaker 3:
[102:48] Yeah, that was pretty, that was a lot. That was a lot.

Speaker 2:
[102:51] That was insane.

Speaker 11:
[102:52] Yeah, that was really great.

Speaker 2:
[102:53] It's crazy. Right here, let's see it.

Speaker 12:
[102:56] What you got brother, I'll start. Single button, a glorious pearl button, a deep breast stitch on a Pete LaPelle check out. What has he got? He's got my Richie Plattsman, the Imagine Dragons, packed pockets, one, two, three. Last time he said, I was a coffee cat. Nonsense.

Speaker 3:
[103:14] I think that's his son.

Speaker 2:
[103:15] Oh, okay, so it's not going to happen.

Speaker 5:
[103:17] He changed up the energy a little bit.

Speaker 3:
[103:18] Yeah, different energy for his son.

Speaker 2:
[103:20] Anyway, I see you finding these weird characters on the internet.

Speaker 3:
[103:27] Yeah, I mean, that's been my fascination for, we started our podcast in 2010.

Speaker 5:
[103:32] Wow. Wow.

Speaker 3:
[103:33] So, like, it really did become from, like, you see a weird or funny or crazy thing and being like, yes, I wanna talk about that, I wanna play that, I wanna dissect that, and sometimes I wanna find that. Because that became, what it became was like, first we would just laugh, talk about it, have people like you where you go, let's comment on this. And then this whole thing became like, oh, can we find this person?

Speaker 2:
[103:58] It came big enough where they wanna come on.

Speaker 3:
[103:59] Yeah, you could be like, we could find this person. And that became a fun thing, it's like we've found numerous people that, a lot of times you see a video and you're like, I don't know, this isn't, like this person has a business and everything. But sometimes it's like just some random dude and the video has like eight views, and you start talking about it, and then all of a sudden one of your fans is like, you know, that guy's in Highland Park, I know that guy. You're like, what? And then you kind of try to connect, and sometimes you zoom, and sometimes we had people come in, but it's always been like an exciting thing to break down like who these people are. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[104:34] I mean, you kind of discovered Andrew Tate that way.

Speaker 3:
[104:37] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[104:37] Infamously.

Speaker 2:
[104:38] Yeah, yeah, you really put Tate on, dude.

Speaker 3:
[104:40] That's so funny. People have been saying that to me since, but he was, for us.

Speaker 2:
[104:45] Hold on, can I pee real quick and then we talk about it?

Speaker 3:
[104:47] Okay.

Speaker 6:
[104:47] So you're responsible for the man.

Speaker 2:
[104:48] Well save it, save it.

Speaker 5:
[104:50] Save it, save it.

Speaker 2:
[104:51] All right guys, take a break for a second. I'm gonna be honest with you, I didn't realize how much water quality actually matters until I switched to Jolie, okay? What's Jolie? That's what you're asking. I'll tell you right now. Sometimes you can be doing all the right things, using good products, taking care of your skin and hair and something still feels off. You know what that is? That's your water quality, okay? You can't have good pizza without New York water. It's really two places on the planet where you can have good pizza and it's Italy and it's New York and weirdly in Tokyo, but they figured that thing out over there. Regular shower water can contain chlorine and heavy metals. Great on pizza. Horrible on your skin, okay? Horrible for your hair. What makes a slice of Joe's amazing? Probably all those chemicals and medicals, whatever I was just talking about.

Speaker 5:
[105:40] You taste the chlorine, you're like, oh, this is nice.

Speaker 2:
[105:41] That's what's good about it. You ever have a slice of pepperoni and no chlorine on that bitch? That's terrible. You don't even want to eat it. But Jolie, that's where they come in, okay? Would I suggest putting it on the faucet and the pizza place? No, would I suggest putting it on your shower head? Yes, it's a proven filtered shower head designed to remove those impurities, those impurities that make a pie delicious but make your head horrible. Skin feels calmer, hair feels softer. It's like your shower is finally working for you instead of against you and it's an easy upgrade. The Jolie shower head installs in minutes, fits all showers and still delivers great water pressure. It's a simple way to elevate your daily routine without changing anything else. The Jolie shower head is the perfect base for your routine because if your water isn't right, nothing else performs the way it should. It even looks great too. Sleek, clean, gives your bathroom that luxury spa feel. So if you want to upgrade your skin, your hair, your whole shower experience, try Jolie Wrist Free for 60 days by going to joelieskinco.com/flagrant. That's joelieskinco.com/flagrant. Jolie is also available on Amazon. And now that your skin is looking absolutely amazing, you know what else it can do? It can stretch further. I don't even know if you can go full boner without tearing at the seam. And if some of you are circumcised, that seam is still present. Do you want to tear at that? Nope. I mean, you ever have a baseball mitt and after years of using it, the thumb just rips from the rest of the mitt? That's what could happen when you got cold, crisp skin. So once you get that nice and good and your skin is ready to stretch, then you're going to take Blue Chew Gold. You're going to take Blue Chew Gold and you're going to the moon, my boys. You're going to be able to stuff your dickhead and your belly button while doing a backwards handspring. It's going to curve like a banana back into your belly button. That's the furthest distance. If you try to touch your toes, yeah, maybe you can nuzzle that thing in there. But not if you're doing a backwards handspring. Your dick is moving the complete other direction. But with Blue Chew Gold, oh yeah, oh yeah, you'll get it in there. You'll get it in lots of places. Okay? Blue Chew Gold has some ingredients for things you don't care about. Your dick's going to get hard in 15 minutes or less. That's what matters. Okay? You get home from the date, you pop the gold. You only got 15 minutes of just nonsense before it's time to go. Okay? You can go out, you can muck bang. You can muck bang if you want. I know you got 15 minutes of muck. That was a knowing chuckle from Miles over there. Miles has definitely done some muck bangs.

Speaker 1:
[108:33] He rubbed his dick against his mattress to get it hard. Yeah, Brooklyn Bedding.

Speaker 2:
[108:38] He rubbed his dick against that Brooklyn Bedding. Why'd I get the cold one? Why'd I get the cold one? Yes, we've all been there, okay? Sometimes the smell of that thing might be stopping you from stopping that fucking rocket from reaching the moon. So you gotta rub it against that mattress.

Speaker 5:
[108:57] Give her a jolly shower head clean.

Speaker 2:
[108:59] First of all, you gotta give her a jolly shower head clean that thing. Then it's time to muck.

Speaker 4:
[109:05] Can you muck?

Speaker 2:
[109:10] Point is, Bluetooth, gold, 15 minutes or less, barely any muck time. You could tell a story about college if you wanted. Sit her down and be like, yo, one time this crazy thing happened in college. And then just keep on rambling about that shit until that 15 minutes is up. So are you. You go to bluetooth.com, use the promo code Flagrant. You get two months of Bluetooth gold, you're gonna get a third one for free with the promo code Flagrant. That's bluetooth.com promo code Flagrant. For more details and important safety information, go there to bluetooth.com. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring this podcast. Speaking of Bricks. Yo, yo, don't do that.

Speaker 5:
[109:56] What, the Hawks?

Speaker 2:
[109:57] Don't fucking do that.

Speaker 5:
[109:58] Speaking of the Hawks, bro.

Speaker 2:
[109:59] Nah, you talking crazy shit right now.

Speaker 3:
[110:01] The Alana Hawks, bro.

Speaker 2:
[110:03] Nah, nah. Shout out my boy, Macal Bridges. Listen, I thought it was a good shot. I thought he had a good shot.

Speaker 5:
[110:10] I thought it was pretty good. He tried his best. That's all you can ask for. He was the best on his team in high school.

Speaker 2:
[110:16] What type of shot he took? Free throw. Why are your sneakers so red? Why you got the Alana Hawks sneakers? Oh, shit. Why you got the Alana Hawks vans, huh? Oh, shit.

Speaker 5:
[110:25] No, no, no. I'm not a Hawks man. I like Trey Young, but that's the extent of it. Does he play for luck?

Speaker 2:
[110:30] No.

Speaker 5:
[110:31] Fuck. Didn't this happen two years ago?

Speaker 2:
[110:34] You are getting soft, TILE. You would never tolerate shit like this back in the day.

Speaker 6:
[110:39] He got a nice fit, so that's why. He gets a pass today. He actually put it together really nice.

Speaker 2:
[110:44] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 6:
[110:45] Give him that.

Speaker 2:
[110:46] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not giving him shit.

Speaker 5:
[110:48] He's wearing the nighttime version of my fit. That's all it is.

Speaker 6:
[110:51] See, why you gotta mess it up? What?

Speaker 5:
[110:53] You're biting my whole neck.

Speaker 6:
[110:54] See, fuck this thing.

Speaker 1:
[110:58] I tried, I tried.

Speaker 5:
[110:59] So what happened with your Knicks, bro? What happened?

Speaker 2:
[111:01] Yo, Knicks are taking it.

Speaker 5:
[111:02] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[111:03] Knicks in five.

Speaker 5:
[111:04] Doing it.

Speaker 2:
[111:05] That's it. And I don't want to hear anything about it. What's the odds we got right now on Kalshi for Knicks in five? 66% and going down. Damn. There's a million dollars in volume put on this right now. Knicks in five. I'm being honest with you.

Speaker 6:
[111:22] That's easy.

Speaker 2:
[111:23] If I'm being completely honest with you, I'm probably going to Knicks in six.

Speaker 6:
[111:28] Come on.

Speaker 2:
[111:29] I want to have delusional confidence, but it's eroded after years of torments.

Speaker 5:
[111:34] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[111:35] So I'm going to be safe and go Knicks in six. What do we have Knicks in six?

Speaker 5:
[111:40] This is just the whole thing.

Speaker 2:
[111:41] Is that your tummy that just did that sound? Yo.

Speaker 1:
[111:45] Yo.

Speaker 2:
[111:46] That was insane. I thought your cell phone was buzzing. Did you pick that up?

Speaker 5:
[111:52] I got a call from my tummy station.

Speaker 1:
[111:54] I was like, yo, the subway was coming through.

Speaker 2:
[111:56] I never heard of nobody's stomach. What was it? That was the first time I ever heard anyone's stomach besides my wife with the children in it. I'm being dead serious. I always thought hearing your stomach is only you could do it.

Speaker 5:
[112:08] No, anyone can do it.

Speaker 2:
[112:10] Nah.

Speaker 1:
[112:11] That's how you know Mark's fasting again.

Speaker 2:
[112:13] Are you back to fasting?

Speaker 5:
[112:14] I had three eggs this morning. Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 2:
[112:17] How did you have them done?

Speaker 5:
[112:18] Scrambled. I always go scrambled. With a little butter mixed in. Cottage cheese, you ever do that? Beside the point, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1:
[112:25] Knicks in seven, fuck it. Yo, chill.

Speaker 2:
[112:29] No, no, Knicks is six, what are we at?

Speaker 5:
[112:32] It's the same, this is serious.

Speaker 2:
[112:33] 65%.

Speaker 5:
[112:34] This is just that they win.

Speaker 1:
[112:35] Oh, it's just they win?

Speaker 5:
[112:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[112:37] Serious.

Speaker 2:
[112:38] Oh, well shit, well Knicks definitely winning, that's not a question.

Speaker 5:
[112:40] Did it just go down while we were talking about it?

Speaker 2:
[112:42] Yeah, cause you, you got the oracle in here. Something happened, bro. I've never heard a stomach take out sound.

Speaker 8:
[112:48] I bet you're gonna wish.

Speaker 2:
[112:49] No bullshit, I would do that. I'm worried about what's gonna come out.

Speaker 5:
[112:53] Oh, you'll see, you'll see.

Speaker 2:
[112:54] Cause that sound is gonna come out of your mouth and your ass. That sound doesn't stay.

Speaker 5:
[112:59] Yeah, I don't know what that was.

Speaker 2:
[113:00] It's gotta be some sort of like cancer.

Speaker 11:
[113:02] It must be.

Speaker 5:
[113:04] My biological age just went up a little bit from that. Every rumble goes up a tiny bit.

Speaker 2:
[113:07] So that was the loudest stomach I've ever heard.

Speaker 5:
[113:09] Can we see what the magic odds are? Let's see, I bet you the magic got it. I bet you the magic are gonna win the whole series. Here we go. Magic in verse Detroit, let's go, okay. It's a minor step back from a major comeback. Orlando's leading 1-0. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 3:
[113:27] Bro?

Speaker 6:
[113:28] Yo, they won and they still got no odds.

Speaker 3:
[113:30] What was it before the game?

Speaker 6:
[113:32] That's great. What the hell?

Speaker 2:
[113:35] $650,000 worth of volume of little broke ass cities. Tell them to put their money up.

Speaker 1:
[113:42] Tell them to put their fucking money up. Hello, broke ass city.

Speaker 5:
[113:45] How would you go up on the Knicks?

Speaker 2:
[113:47] I'd put my thumb up.

Speaker 5:
[113:48] How much?

Speaker 2:
[113:49] I'd put it up. Did you guys just hear my tummy?

Speaker 1:
[113:52] Well, should we connect?

Speaker 2:
[113:53] You can hear it, right? I don't think that my stomach sound goes out.

Speaker 1:
[113:56] Everyone had a tummy.

Speaker 2:
[113:57] Did you hear my tummy?

Speaker 6:
[113:59] I got two kids.

Speaker 2:
[114:00] You got a tummy, you little child. I just farted and that, I literally heard it here and then it came out. It went all the way through. Guys, I don't think you can hear my stomach sound. You can hear it. You can hear it. You can hear it. Has anybody ever heard your stomach?

Speaker 6:
[114:16] No.

Speaker 2:
[114:17] Really?

Speaker 6:
[114:17] No.

Speaker 2:
[114:18] Knicks and Sicks, but in all seriousness, Knicks and Sicks, Al, in all seriousness, Knicks and Sicks. Okay? Shout out to you and your stomach.

Speaker 5:
[114:25] Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[114:25] We know what's in there.

Speaker 5:
[114:26] Knicks and Sicks.

Speaker 2:
[114:27] Your stomach's got so many, it looks like the chair from Game of Thrones, but made out of dicks in your stomach. Game of Bones? There you go. Yeah, that's what it looks like, Al. It got so many relics of dicks in there.

Speaker 1:
[114:39] We all shoot. Yeah, we all do that. You the loop. All right, let's get back to the show.

Speaker 7:
[114:48] K-Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi?

Speaker 1:
[114:56] It's not a battle.

Speaker 7:
[114:58] So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.

Speaker 8:
[115:02] It is an honor to share.

Speaker 7:
[115:03] No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

Speaker 8:
[115:16] I participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

Speaker 3:
[115:17] I'm all about cheering and booing and that call sucks. But when you start yelling crazy shit to somebody, personal stuff, you're like, what the are you doing, man?

Speaker 2:
[115:27] My favorite thing to do is butter up the refs.

Speaker 3:
[115:30] You talk to the refs?

Speaker 2:
[115:31] Oh, all day.

Speaker 3:
[115:32] That's a great call.

Speaker 2:
[115:33] They got numbers and I'm like, yo, fantastic call, ref, and I butter them up.

Speaker 5:
[115:38] Look at this American boy.

Speaker 9:
[115:39] That's it.

Speaker 2:
[115:40] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[115:42] Andrew, do they give you a look?

Speaker 2:
[115:44] Oh, of course.

Speaker 9:
[115:44] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[115:45] Yeah, like, you know.

Speaker 3:
[115:46] That was a charge. That was a good charge.

Speaker 2:
[115:47] That was, it was. And not a lot of guys saw it. Those other two guys didn't see it. You're seeing everything. I'm leaning, I go hard on the refs.

Speaker 5:
[115:54] He's feeling himself.

Speaker 2:
[115:56] Yeah, it's okay. You can miss one.

Speaker 4:
[115:58] You can miss a call.

Speaker 10:
[115:59] Everybody misses one.

Speaker 4:
[116:00] But I butter up hard.

Speaker 2:
[116:01] Like, that's how I feel like I'm helping the Knicks.

Speaker 4:
[116:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[116:03] I saw that, that, because nobody is more entertaining than Garnett in this post-playing world. Like, his storytelling and everything is just fucking unbelievable. But he was doing, it was a montage about, he was saying what the old refs were like. I don't know if you've seen it. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[116:20] Kidding, I'm joking.

Speaker 3:
[116:21] He's talking about how today's refs versus the other. He's like, like, the-

Speaker 1:
[116:26] Dick Bavetta or whatever?

Speaker 3:
[116:27] Yeah, he's like, those refs would be like, you fucking bitch. And like, he would, they would like, literally call the players out, call them names. Like, just, he's like, it's a completely different world, but like, in his style and story, I mean, he's so fucking entertaining.

Speaker 2:
[116:43] Him and Paul Pierce?

Speaker 3:
[116:44] It's, the dynamic is just-

Speaker 2:
[116:46] They kind of were podcasters. Yeah. Like, they have this, like, they're way too famous to be talking and sharing the opinions.

Speaker 3:
[116:53] You saw his JR writer MJ story?

Speaker 2:
[116:55] No.

Speaker 3:
[116:56] Kevin Garnett's? Oh my god, dude. That is about when he talked shit to MJ.

Speaker 2:
[117:00] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have seen this.

Speaker 1:
[117:02] I've heard different versions of this.

Speaker 2:
[117:04] Which some of this could be complete fabrication.

Speaker 3:
[117:06] But that story, it lines up with the video. Like, everything about that story is about- You'll see it. You see that he says some shit.

Speaker 2:
[117:16] Get that one up as well. Wait, should we watch that one or this? Do the old school rest one first and then look up the other one while you get that. So this is Kevin Garnett talking about JR writer, but play this one.

Speaker 10:
[117:25] And the old school rest is talking crazy. They used to talk to guys like they could fight. Like Mike Matthews would be like, Hey, it ain't a foul. And I said, you know what, man, it's a foul. Don't keep talking that shit. You want to play tonight? You'd be like, oh shit, straight up. And Steve Jobs would look at you and be like, I wish you were looking at me, Garret. I wish you were looking at me. And then the real cats in the lead, like Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, 30 Payne, Michael Jordan, they used to talk crazy back to these. Yeah, bitch, I'm looking at you. What you looking at? I'm looking at you. I'm like, damn, Javi, you good? Yeah, I'm good. I throw that out. I'm like, whoa. Let me turn it to some real shit.

Speaker 1:
[118:09] Oh, you got real out here.

Speaker 3:
[118:11] It's a different world now. Wow.

Speaker 2:
[118:13] I think there's too many cameras now.

Speaker 3:
[118:15] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[118:16] You pick up everything. You could pick up everything. Players are mic'd up randomly.

Speaker 3:
[118:18] All this shit they have to do all the time.

Speaker 2:
[118:20] Yeah. Where back in the day, I don't remember a single lip-reading video that came out.

Speaker 3:
[118:24] It never came up. Nobody ever brought that shit up. You just see the action.

Speaker 2:
[118:28] You almost kind of, you want a little bit of the anonymity. You want a little bit of the mystery. Maybe we don't need all these fucking cameras.

Speaker 3:
[118:36] Cameras are it. It's it up.

Speaker 2:
[118:37] It's fucking everything. Because you want them to act in a way where they're not being observed.

Speaker 3:
[118:42] And then they're all mic'd up too. So it's like cameras and mics. I don't know if this, just to give, if it's not set up correctly, it's Garnett is on the Timberwolves and JR Rider is too. Mike has like a OK, let's say, he had a OK game or third quarter. And Garnett says to him, I guess it ain't dropping today, Mike, like, yeah, JR, keep doing your shit. Like, keep on him. And there's like a break, an act, like a timeout. And JR is like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 4:
[119:15] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[119:17] Like, you don't do that. And even JR goes over to Mike, he's like, hey, Mike. He was just kidding. He's a rookie man. Like, you don't know, you don't know. And like, I just don't know how much of a setup is in this.

Speaker 10:
[119:30] We in Chicago, it was my rookie year. JR is having a good game. So as we come out of the timeout, I was just like, yo, keep, yo, keep killing that killing that right here. Mike can hear me. Stay at me for about 15 seconds. So now MJ on the back leg joint, you know, I can't even really describe the next like six to seven minutes to play. Two, not one, two 10 second calls. We down 25 now. It was just at two. Mike had 18, he had like 40.

Speaker 1:
[120:00] JR and myself, we ain't scored in like about four minutes.

Speaker 2:
[120:04] And I subbed like three of the starters.

Speaker 3:
[120:06] I was like, JR, you're my bad mother.

Speaker 1:
[120:11] It's cool, man. I told you. Just shut your a** up.

Speaker 5:
[120:13] It got bad.

Speaker 1:
[120:18] There's also a little backstory here, because when JR Ryder was coming in the league, there was talks about him being like the next MJ. Yeah, yeah. And MJ don't like that.

Speaker 5:
[120:26] He doesn't like any of that.

Speaker 1:
[120:26] Ain't no next MJ.

Speaker 3:
[120:28] What happened to JR Ryder?

Speaker 1:
[120:30] What happened to all the next MJ's, man?

Speaker 3:
[120:31] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[120:32] I mean, he had a good career.

Speaker 1:
[120:33] Sure.

Speaker 5:
[120:33] Yeah, he had a good career. But yeah, no one's the next MJ. No. Damn.

Speaker 3:
[120:38] Okay, can you tell us the Tate story?

Speaker 5:
[120:40] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[120:40] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[120:41] So the way, it's like the same we were looking at those Sam's Taylor videos of, what is it? Rochon, I think is his name. Tate, the way that Tate actually first became a thing was like these clips where he was sort of misogynistic and rude, but it felt very performative.

Speaker 1:
[121:01] Yeah, it was like a character.

Speaker 5:
[121:02] Yeah, and you could see it. He was like, when a woman brings me coffee in the morning, she should bring me two cups of coffee. Like if one isn't warm enough for like, if I finish it, I want my second one there. And we were like, this is ridiculous. When they say like, do you want still or sparkling water? I always drink sparkling water. Still water is for poor people. So we would play this and like comment, the same way we comment on the Taylor clips. I remember he had one and he was like, something about paying and he was like, yeah, I always bring out my card because it never gets denied. And then people were like, you mean overdraft protection? We would just kind of roast him and play this very silly thing that I was like, yeah, this guy's saying this thing that has like his an angle to it, but this feels like deliberate. Yeah, there's a performative aspect to it. So somehow some way I don't remember like the thing, it was like he was coming to the States and he was like agreed to come on. I was like, that guy, dude, that's amazing. So we came on and he was an A level guest.

Speaker 1:
[122:11] I remember even Christina being kind of charmed by it.

Speaker 5:
[122:15] Dude, we were like, I remember at one point he was, because he was saying all this stuff. He was like, dude, this one thing he said, people were like, wouldn't you get bored of a woman that just does everything you say? Like he asked, he was a rhetorical question. He was like, I'm like a bitch. Of course I'm not going to get, I had a coffee, I spit in my coffee every mistake. And she was laughing hysterically. And we left there, first of all, he was like, such a gentleman. Yeah, you were like, oh, like you're a smart guy and this is your thing.

Speaker 1:
[122:50] You're also looking at through comedian lenses where we've seen archetypes like this pass through.

Speaker 5:
[122:54] A thousand percent.

Speaker 1:
[122:55] And it's like, okay, this is another internet personality and there's a little schnick there.

Speaker 5:
[123:00] And you actually go like, I've seen this archetype and this is a very refined version of this because he actually would dance between exaggeration and like pure, well formed logic. Yeah, very philosophical, very articulate. We're like, this guy's a great guest. Of several months later, whereas like his name and everything starts like getting bigger and then people are saying all these things about him.

Speaker 1:
[123:26] You make him a star.

Speaker 5:
[123:27] I make him a star. It's my birthday and I'm doing this show in Chicago and it's on my birthday and I did not know that they had put together a montage of people saying happy birthday. So I finished my show, they wheel out a cake and they have the screen and it's just like comedians. It's just like, you know, Bert and Sebastian and Joe, like everyone would be like, happy birthday, happy birthday. It just cuts to fucking him. And he's saying, happy birthday. And it's the day after he's accused of like trafficking. And I'm again drinking, I think I'm drinking like a beer and I'm like, and I'm like, guys, like he's, he's wanted. And then, and everybody after then was like, yes, you put them on, you platform them. And I was like, yeah, we had him on as like a entertaining guest, you know. And he was super nice. He was very funny on the show.

Speaker 1:
[124:29] Sometimes it goes wrong when you have entertaining guests on the pod.

Speaker 5:
[124:32] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[124:33] I mean, we would know nothing about that at all, but yeah.

Speaker 5:
[124:36] No, you've never had somebody come on that something happened later.

Speaker 3:
[124:41] Has he reached out to you? Has he, like, have you talked to him at all?

Speaker 5:
[124:43] He emailed, we emailed a couple times. He was like doing, he was like, I'm coming to do another American tour or whatever. It was well after, but that just, I don't think he ever came or anything. But it was a perfectly polite exchange. Yeah, it was totally normal. Yeah, it was, it was crazy.

Speaker 1:
[125:04] Was there anybody that you saw that you were like, this guy's so entertaining, but I don't know, something's weird, and then...

Speaker 5:
[125:11] All the time. Well, I mean, just like a lot of times...

Speaker 3:
[125:15] Huh? GB. Yeah, GB.

Speaker 5:
[125:18] Well, there's just times where you go, cause you learn this thing of like, I'll play a video of somebody, and then you go like, should I have this person in studio? Like, even the ones that you go, how, just like, is this person stable?

Speaker 1:
[125:35] Right.

Speaker 5:
[125:35] You know?

Speaker 1:
[125:36] That's...

Speaker 5:
[125:37] Like, we had this one guy who was, he always, he had, he was just like, you know, sucking on your friend's nipples isn't gay. It's what the Spartans used to do. And we were like, what? And he had like all these crazy things, like you should cup your friend's balls. Like, that's actually the straightest thing you can do. Like, all these types of things, we were like, what? And so we were like, should we have men? We had a man, he was like, can I just be nude during this interview? And I was like, no. I was like, there's women here, like, do you k- no. So he did it in his underwear, you know? Like one of those things, but then you kinda go, you're talking to him, you're like, this is a perfectly nice guy, you know? He's a little out there. But some of them you go like, I don't know if this is like an unhinged person. So you start to develop a sense of like, who can-

Speaker 3:
[126:24] You have to fall apart, like in the DM, like you respond to a funny video and some guy hits you up like angry, or he's like pissed, he wants money, like-

Speaker 5:
[126:32] All the time. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[126:33] How do you deal with that?

Speaker 5:
[126:34] I mean, I've just had, the one thing is like, I don't know, like we just play these clips, and it's like someone's like, you played my clip, I made that clip, and you're like, all right.

Speaker 1:
[126:44] It's a weird thing because you're reacting to the internet, and we do it here too, because it's just a fascinating thing on the internet.

Speaker 5:
[126:50] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[126:51] And then some of these people on the internet are absolutely fucking batshit crazy.

Speaker 5:
[126:55] Crazy.

Speaker 3:
[126:56] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[126:59] They're crazy, and I think most of the time, you ignore.

Speaker 3:
[127:03] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[127:04] I mean, some people have gone so far as to send documents, wanting something, and I'm just like. Cease and desist. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, fucking whatever, dude, I'll give the document to my lawyer. Go ahead, deal with him. I mean, they make their case of why we shouldn't play it. I'm like, we won't play it again. You're not that fucking fascinating, dude. Yeah. It was a funny clip, you know? Yeah. But most of the time, people are, usually people are excited. They go, you played me, you know, in my clip.

Speaker 3:
[127:32] And it probably makes their whole life, right? Like some small creator all of a sudden gets to go on a huge show.

Speaker 5:
[127:37] I think they get, yeah, most of them see the upside to it of like, oh, you widened my fan base, you know? You got more eyeballs on me, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[127:44] Yeah, you stretched out this moment.

Speaker 5:
[127:46] You know what I ask you? Because every time I go on tour, I feel like I learned from the last tour.

Speaker 1:
[127:51] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[127:52] And I want to compress, reduce what I do. You don't do a crazy amount of dates, right?

Speaker 1:
[127:58] It depends, like I don't do like the long stretch, so I do like a weekend warrior thing.

Speaker 5:
[128:03] Right.

Speaker 1:
[128:03] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[128:04] But you don't extend that like forever.

Speaker 1:
[128:06] I did the last one probably, I don't know, we did like two years maybe?

Speaker 5:
[128:09] Oh, you did?

Speaker 1:
[128:10] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[128:11] But it was Thursday to Sunday kind of thing?

Speaker 1:
[128:12] Friday, Saturday.

Speaker 5:
[128:13] Friday, Saturday only.

Speaker 1:
[128:14] Maybe a Sunday.

Speaker 5:
[128:14] But even that is like pretty, that's better for life.

Speaker 1:
[128:18] That's the thing, like I just had a kid and like my wife got pregnant again so we just had another one and it was like, yeah, yeah, so it's, I wanted to be home as much as possible, but also like get out there and do it, but that's the tricky, that's the balance.

Speaker 5:
[128:33] And did you road dog it a lot in the early days or no?

Speaker 1:
[128:35] All the time.

Speaker 5:
[128:36] You did?

Speaker 1:
[128:36] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[128:37] Because I didn't know if you were just like New York, New York, everywhere.

Speaker 1:
[128:39] No, like I pretty early started getting out on the road.

Speaker 5:
[128:42] Oh, you did?

Speaker 1:
[128:42] Yeah, I was out on the road pretty early.

Speaker 5:
[128:44] Opening for people?

Speaker 1:
[128:45] I never got that experience.

Speaker 5:
[128:47] What?

Speaker 1:
[128:47] I never got that opportunity, yeah. Really?

Speaker 3:
[128:49] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[128:51] So like I kind of just kind of went out. I got some MTV, you know, luck and then did some shows there and then like I would do the weekends. I would do the club weekends.

Speaker 5:
[128:59] You're headlining?

Speaker 1:
[128:59] Headlining, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[129:00] Out of the gate?

Speaker 1:
[129:01] Not out of the gate. I mean, years in, I developed an hour and did like the shitty, you know, one nighter type of things. And then once I got to the, once I got to be able to do the clubs where they could kind of paper the room.

Speaker 5:
[129:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[129:12] Like I was on TV and I couldn't really draw, but it was enough where you could paper it.

Speaker 3:
[129:17] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[129:18] I know what you mean.

Speaker 1:
[129:19] Paper the room for anybody watching is basically like the club will give out free tickets.

Speaker 3:
[129:22] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[129:22] And like basically they will sell drinks.

Speaker 5:
[129:24] And they're like, this wasn't you.

Speaker 1:
[129:26] Exactly. But like maybe you get to a point where like there's a little of you.

Speaker 5:
[129:30] Exactly. It's a slow kind of, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[129:33] And I remember doing that. And then I remember once I started putting out some stand up, I was able to like fill the rooms now. And then I did another round where I filled them and they were paying.

Speaker 5:
[129:45] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[129:46] And then I think I did another round where they were paying but I was still on like the shitty door deal, not even door deal, the shitty like guarantee.

Speaker 5:
[129:55] Guarantee, you get a $200 bonus, you sold it out.

Speaker 1:
[129:57] Yeah. Yeah, you sell out, I remember there was clubs that would give me more than the bonus sometimes and I was so stoked. I was like, what? I get more than the bonus? And it was like they felt so bad that I was getting $1500 a weekend or $2000 a weekend and it was like five sold out shows. They're like, we gotta give them something.

Speaker 5:
[130:15] I would muscle them for more. I would go into that thing and I was like, I sold this shit out and they're like, I know, but your deal is this and I was like, do you want me to come back here? Oh, have a ball. They're like, yeah, I'm like, you know what to do, man.

Speaker 1:
[130:26] That is fucking ballsy. I was always so grateful to have the weekend and it wasn't until the second time around where I sold them out where I was like, let's do a door deal and that got aggressive. Then I was like, hey, if we're bringing it all in.

Speaker 5:
[130:43] There's a guy who even gave me, he goes, it's all a process. I was like, when it was clear that I was selling them out, this guy was like, I'll offer you X amount, which was a good amount of money, guaranteed. I was like, I don't want the guarantee. I want the door. He was like, but this guarantee is awesome. I go, yeah, it's not as much as the door. He was like, right, but the guarantee is pretty solid. I was like, what are we missing here? I'm telling you, I want the fucking deal of the door.

Speaker 1:
[131:16] I think I can get those people in.

Speaker 5:
[131:17] And he's just like, this is fucking crazy. I was like, no, it's not.

Speaker 1:
[131:21] You were asking this early? You were asking for-

Speaker 5:
[131:23] Well, once like, I just understood the business so well so early. I knew exactly how things were.

Speaker 1:
[131:27] But was that not how comics were doing it back in the day? Were they just taking guarantees?

Speaker 5:
[131:32] Well, it really depended on the power of your draw. So, there was people who, I don't want to tell anyone's business, but there's comics who are pretty good draws that don't want to have to worry about the degree of it. So, they'll just go, I want the guarantee. I don't have to think about it. You fucking do the work. And once you're selling tickets, you kind of just figure out what works. If you're like, with almost certainty, I know this is gonna sell, let's take the door. Percentage deals are just better.

Speaker 1:
[132:05] They're just better.

Speaker 5:
[132:06] So I would just be like, no, I want that, dude. I know it's better.

Speaker 1:
[132:10] I had to push an agent of mine back in the day for it.

Speaker 5:
[132:13] Same.

Speaker 1:
[132:14] Yeah, and he was an amazing agent. Love him. Yeah, he was great. But part of what made him so great was that he had these amazing relationships with the clubs. So he could get a no-name comedian into a club.

Speaker 5:
[132:29] I know exactly what you mean.

Speaker 1:
[132:30] Yeah, but the problem is when you get to a point where you're like, okay, I've gone two times in a club and they've made tons of money and we drew, I think it's time that now I get whatever my fair share is here. And it took me kind of like muscling him to do it.

Speaker 3:
[132:46] It does. The clubs try to be sneaky. I had a friend just recently, you know him, that had a sellout bonus structure and it was a substantial bonus. And he gets to the payout and they're doing the settle up and they're like, yeah, you were two tickets short. Yeah, that's a cool move. And he was like, two tickets short? He said it was sold out.

Speaker 1:
[133:03] I'll buy those tickets.

Speaker 3:
[133:04] Before, two people refunded their tickets, like at minutes before the show. And he was like, this is insane. And he had to call his agent up to be like, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 5:
[133:13] Yeah, what are you doing?

Speaker 3:
[133:13] But sniffing him out of a substantial amount of money for a young comic.

Speaker 5:
[133:17] I had a guy who goes, he owned the club. He was a knucklehead, he was a sweetheart, but he was a total fucking mess.

Speaker 1:
[133:25] Can you give me a state?

Speaker 5:
[133:27] And he's like, he goes, hey, I had a 100% door deal. It was 100% of the door. He was like, great weekend. This is at the end of the week. He's like, it's great weekend. He goes, can you guess how much you made? And I go, no, I could tell you what I made. He's like, what do you mean? I go, well, there's no guessing.

Speaker 1:
[133:46] Yeah, I know how many seats there are.

Speaker 5:
[133:47] I go, the seats multiplied by the ticket sale, it's this. And he goes, pretty close. And I was like, it's not close. It's exact. And he goes, really? I go, yeah, man, I just did what I just told you. And he goes, hold on a second. He's like, let me get Donna in here. Oh no, Donna is just Donna in here. And he goes, he's saying, it's this. But I think it's this, which his number was less. She was like, it's his number. And he was like, well, goddamn. And I was like, yeah, man, I mean, it's not a guess.

Speaker 1:
[134:21] I mean, you heard the stories back in the day where like your opener would take a counter.

Speaker 5:
[134:26] Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:
[134:26] And they would, while you're on stage, count each person that was in the club because the rumor has it that some clubs would say that it sat 300.

Speaker 5:
[134:34] That was a big thing.

Speaker 1:
[134:35] But it sat 340.

Speaker 5:
[134:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[134:37] And then that was.

Speaker 5:
[134:39] I remember when I was out with Charlie Murphy. He had his cousin with him. Click, click, click, click, click. Charlie took me to dinner one time. I'll never forget, this is the funniest sentence anyone's ever said to me. He goes, you think Oscar De La Hoya could whoop your ass? And I was like, what? I was like, Oscar De La Hoya?

Speaker 1:
[134:57] I go, fuck yeah.

Speaker 5:
[134:59] Of course, he's a world class boxer. And he was like, Keith Sweat thinks he could whoop Aka De La Hoya's ass. What? I was like, why? He goes, because he thinks he's too pretty. I was like, Keith Sweat would not know it started. It would be the fucking craziest knockout of his life. He's like, he swears that he could kick Aka De La Hoya's ass.

Speaker 1:
[135:20] There is a dog, I don't care what he wore, I don't care what his shenanigans were, that motherfucker was a dog.

Speaker 5:
[135:29] When you see in person a pro boxer just hit mitts.

Speaker 1:
[135:34] Oh, it's crazy.

Speaker 5:
[135:36] There's a whole other thing, man.

Speaker 3:
[135:37] Alexx has said this exact thing 10 times in this podcast.

Speaker 1:
[135:40] Yeah, Alexx doesn't think white guys can beat him up.

Speaker 5:
[135:43] White guys?

Speaker 1:
[135:43] He doesn't think white guys can beat him up.

Speaker 3:
[135:44] Like you versus McGregor.

Speaker 2:
[135:46] No, not fighters.

Speaker 5:
[135:48] Regular white guys.

Speaker 1:
[135:48] Regular white guys.

Speaker 5:
[135:49] All of them?

Speaker 1:
[135:50] I could take all of you guys, probably say, damn, probably. Maybe.

Speaker 3:
[135:54] You look like you're in shape. But we did this.

Speaker 1:
[135:58] I can barely run two and a half miles. But he needs to train to run two and a half miles.

Speaker 5:
[136:04] First of all, I'm mostly with you. I mean, you know there's these sleeper white guys that are fucking savage.

Speaker 1:
[136:10] Yeah, the game has changed now with like Jiu-Jitsu and stuff.

Speaker 3:
[136:13] He said Jake Paul. He said he could take Jake Paul.

Speaker 5:
[136:15] But even...

Speaker 1:
[136:16] That was a while ago. Is he less weight now?

Speaker 3:
[136:20] Did he get a little blacker?

Speaker 1:
[136:23] He's been actually taking the sport seriously now.

Speaker 3:
[136:25] When they first started.

Speaker 1:
[136:27] Come on. No way.

Speaker 5:
[136:28] But there's also like this like, not even trains, you're just like in some town and, you know what I mean? Like big old Greg just walks in and you're like, this guy will put someone's head through a trunche out of a cauliflower ears, I'm leaving the bar. Crazy.

Speaker 1:
[136:44] You don't play around anymore. I got keep sweat confident.

Speaker 5:
[136:45] But I'm with you dude, I'm with you for most of it. Yeah, for most of it, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[136:50] Have you been in a couple fights?

Speaker 5:
[136:51] No, I mean, there was one college bar fight, but that wasn't like, whatever, you square, it was chaos. Just fucking melee. Everybody swinging. It was a melee, yeah. And the thing that is one of the things where I just lucked out, that the guy I was with, he had his foot stepped on by this one other guy, and he was like, hey man, you stepped on my foot, you know? So it was kind of like, all right, my bad. And the guy did it again. But the second time was definitely.

Speaker 1:
[137:24] On purpose.

Speaker 5:
[137:24] Yeah. And the guy I was with was a big dude, like he was 6'5, probably 2'6, he was a big. And he grabbed the guy, and he just was like, boop, and you could see like a hot, like that guy's whole face fucking, and that guy had a couple guys with him. So as they start swinging, we're in this booth, we get up. But I didn't even know that I was at this small college, that like, the whole offensive defense line was hanging out back here. Behind, I didn't know they were in this part of the bar. So as we grabbed this guy, they come, I mean, this is all like D2, big. And they come, and then it's just melee. But it was like, now it's like 15 on three. And then those bouncers were like, just everybody leave. Just everybody leave. But that was like, I didn't get into a lot of fights. I got jumped in fifth grade. Damn. That sucked. What'd they get? It was just like, no, just like at school. I moved a lot, so I went to a lot of different schools. I'm just walking in the park and like going to recess or something. And these three kids just come around the corner, just like knee, punch, pat, pat, just like leave you on the ground. I was like, oh, you know, just left for dead. And the worst part is like, it's fifth grade. Yeah. So they have like the teachers have tell the parents. And then my parents were like, yeah, we talked to his parents. I was like, oh, fuck. And like, what now? They're like, well, we talked, and we think you guys should hang out. I was like. What? Yeah, yeah, they're like, you know, like make a met, like, I was like, I don't want to hang out with the dude. They just need me in the stomach. Yeah. So I just go to his place and just sit there. Awaken. Yeah. And just sit and like his parents, I remember his parents both smoked, and the place was like full of smoke.

Speaker 1:
[139:19] He started to understand why he was so angry. He felt bad for me.

Speaker 5:
[139:22] I kind of did, yeah. And then I was just like, all right, good hang, man. I'll see you tomorrow. That was like the extent. It wasn't like a violent upbringing.

Speaker 3:
[139:31] Damn.

Speaker 5:
[139:31] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[139:32] Were you and that kid cool after that?

Speaker 5:
[139:34] Yeah, we actually were, actually. It still works. Yeah, it kind of did work.

Speaker 1:
[139:37] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[139:37] He sold me some GSP.

Speaker 1:
[139:38] Yeah, GSP.

Speaker 5:
[139:40] Damn.

Speaker 1:
[139:41] Tell me about the, because I know that we probably have limited time here, tell me about this show. You have a second season of the show coming out.

Speaker 5:
[139:49] Yeah, Bad Thoughts.

Speaker 1:
[139:50] Yes. I don't understand how you're able to do all these things and manage all these things, first of all, but like, the second season, how many episodes are we at?

Speaker 5:
[139:59] We're at six episodes.

Speaker 1:
[140:01] Okay, six episodes.

Speaker 5:
[140:02] 17 sketches or stories, whatever, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[140:05] Oh, so they're, okay, so you're gonna put multiple within the episode.

Speaker 5:
[140:08] Yeah, so every episode usually has three.

Speaker 1:
[140:10] Got it.

Speaker 5:
[140:10] In them.

Speaker 1:
[140:11] And these are, these are like vignettes, sketches, but they're shot not like a sketch, it's shot like each one is its own movie.

Speaker 5:
[140:18] It's exactly right, yeah. So I did a pilot, I did the pilot of this.

Speaker 1:
[140:23] You funded it yourself.

Speaker 5:
[140:24] Myself, several years ago. The idea was once we had filmed a few of them, we were like, oh, this is like a show. And I had only used, I have a pay-per-view platform that we kind of developed during the pandemic where you could sell tickets for like special ticketed, we would do like live podcasts. It was just a way to like try to do a podcast that was elevated. That had like a little more to it. And also no rules, no restrictions. So when we did those, we would film sketches to be part of that live experience. And we sold a bunch of tickets doing that. So we learned like, oh, there is a market for that. And so then what happened was I was like, you know, we've never done like a, just like an entertainment based narrative thing. I wonder if we did that and put it on there, if people would buy tickets, because if they would, it would inform us to the point like, maybe you can make like a movie and put it on. That was like the concept. But when I had that pilot, I showed it to my, they're like, what have you been, I go, I made this. They're like, you have to shop this. You absolutely have to shop this. And so it was like weighing, do I try to ticket it? Because that's what I was planning on, or shopping it. Well, basically the first place we took it to was Netflix, we had a relationship there. We showed it to them first and they bought it. So that's what led to it being a series. And then the first one came out last year in May in the season two, we just were delivering now, it airs in May also, but it's all new characters, all new stories, but one of the big emphasis of the show is that I like sketches, but one of the things I always didn't like is how they look. So I was like, I want these to feel more like short films. And so we, our DP, Nico Wiesnet, is like a brilliant guy, and every single one of them has a very distinct look and looks very cinematic. Some of them look just absolutely stunning, but that's deliberate. It's like, it's fun to, I think it's funny to take a premise that's ridiculous, but shoot it beautifully, you know? So it's kind of like, I think it's one of the characters of the show, is having that be throughout.

Speaker 1:
[142:39] Yeah. Yeah, that's really interesting. I guess that is, I'm trying to think of sketch where they've done that, where it feels very elevated and real.

Speaker 3:
[142:51] I like the early Key and Peele stuff for what it was.

Speaker 5:
[142:53] That's kind of true.

Speaker 3:
[142:54] Seeing it on YouTube in 2010, you're like, oh, this is a TV show, but it's for free on YouTube.

Speaker 5:
[142:59] I feel like if you went back, maybe like Monty Python was probably shot on film.

Speaker 1:
[143:04] Right, 100 percent.

Speaker 5:
[143:06] Then some of the SNL, what's it called, their-

Speaker 1:
[143:09] Yes, digital shorts.

Speaker 5:
[143:10] The digital shorts will sometimes have a real look to them. I always like those.

Speaker 1:
[143:14] I think it helps the comedy.

Speaker 5:
[143:15] I think so too.

Speaker 1:
[143:16] Because if you're not presenting something as fake immediately, I can get lost in the reality.

Speaker 5:
[143:21] Because sometimes it just feels so flat. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[143:23] A hundred percent. Here's one set and everything's operating right here, and it has that like a multi-cam look. Whereas like, yeah, if you get people lost in a world.

Speaker 5:
[143:33] Yeah. The formula for us, I feel like, is like make it really cinematic. Also, play everything like it's- Yeah. This is Shakespeare or whatever. Like this is really serious stuff. And then make it absurd and push it.

Speaker 1:
[143:47] Yeah. Are there any this season that, can you give us any of the premises?

Speaker 5:
[143:52] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[143:52] This comes out of May, by the way, on Netflix, but.

Speaker 5:
[143:54] Well, one of them-

Speaker 1:
[143:57] Tease a fun.

Speaker 5:
[143:58] One of them is that I'm a middle-aged dad that drops off his daughter at college, and then I decide to go to college. And I'm really intrigued by the black fraternity. That one's very fun. There's one where I'm a 19-year-old girl, and I get back from my semester abroad with very suggestive tattoos.

Speaker 1:
[144:36] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[144:37] Some of which you could say are extremely offensive. Okay. I rationalize them.

Speaker 1:
[144:43] Okay. Where are you abroad?

Speaker 5:
[144:46] I was in Paris.

Speaker 1:
[144:47] Got it.

Speaker 5:
[144:47] Okay. Try to think without the, oh, there's one where I'm at a fertility clinic.

Speaker 1:
[144:55] Nice.

Speaker 5:
[144:56] Yes. And while I'm making the deposit, I get a FaceTime call from a family member, and I feel like the call pollutes the deposit, so then I fight to get it back. There's all types of things like that.

Speaker 1:
[145:18] It's not exactly incest, but you can't be thinking about your family doing these things.

Speaker 5:
[145:23] And the nurse tries to explain to me that that's not how it works, and I'm like, I think it is.

Speaker 1:
[145:26] It is. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[145:27] Can you share any that you had to cut? Were there any that were so close and you're like, we just can't do it?

Speaker 5:
[145:32] Well, the whole process is like you start obviously, and you build out in the room, in the writer's room, you end up with like 50, and you realize like we're doing six episodes, and you got to have at most 18. So you end up cutting so many, and ones that you're on the fence about constantly. I'm trying to think, my brain is so rattled from being so in post with this. Our post schedule is fucking wild. Last year we shot in October and delivered in May. This year we shot in February, we deliver in May. So all I've been is just thinking about what we're doing and there's the notes and the edits and the music. Thankfully that really is managed by Jeremy Conner, Rami Hishash, Tyler Kornak, and I just weigh in. But those guys are in it.

Speaker 1:
[146:27] They know what it is, they know the tone of the show.

Speaker 5:
[146:30] Yeah, oh yeah, and they're in the Bay every day.

Speaker 1:
[146:33] Yeah, editing is grueling, dude.

Speaker 5:
[146:34] I flew out a couple times to get in the Bay, and I get links.

Speaker 1:
[146:37] They're in LA right now?

Speaker 5:
[146:38] They're in LA. I get links to watch and then comment on them, but there's no substitute for being in there, because when you're in there, you literally watch it and you're thought, you're like, didn't we do this take? What about when you said this? And they literally pull it up, and you're like, oh, here it is.

Speaker 1:
[146:51] Dude, the way that they organize footage now is unbelievable. I was talking to a couple of guys on the movie that I was doing, and we were doing reshoots, and I was like, what did you guys do when it was just actual footage?

Speaker 5:
[147:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[147:05] And so Tarantino shot once upon a time in Hollywood, I think on actual 30, is it called 39 millimeter, 36, 35 millimeter. So I go, so what are they doing? They're taping things together, and he goes, well, what they do is they have digital versions of that footage. They do all the edits on the digital versions, and then they match it to the tape.

Speaker 5:
[147:30] That's right. I didn't know that.

Speaker 1:
[147:31] Otherwise, you're cutting, that's how they made movies back in the day. They had spools of tape.

Speaker 5:
[147:35] Splice.

Speaker 1:
[147:36] Organize them per scene, and then are cutting and patching together. So how many times realistic, the movies that we saw back in the day on tape, that wasn't the best take of every scene.

Speaker 5:
[147:48] Definitely not.

Speaker 3:
[147:48] It might have been the only take.

Speaker 1:
[147:50] One might have been the only take because tape is expensive, but also you're like, am I really gonna cut this? Insert another thing, tape it together, watch it. No, give me back that other one. How much shit is on the cutting room floor from back in the day?

Speaker 5:
[148:02] Literally, yeah. Do you ever hear, by the way, how Eastwood shoots? Do you know about this?

Speaker 1:
[148:05] Oh, you get one take, my boy.

Speaker 5:
[148:08] One take.

Speaker 1:
[148:08] And if you try to push back, he's like, do you wanna go home or do you wanna?

Speaker 5:
[148:11] Yeah, he's like a ref and then he's like, yeah. And then he doesn't say action, you know?

Speaker 1:
[148:16] Oh, I didn't know that.

Speaker 5:
[148:16] Yeah, he says, whenever you're ready.

Speaker 1:
[148:18] Go.

Speaker 5:
[148:18] Because when he came up in those westerns, action would scare the horses. Wow. Right? Because it would startle them. So he's like, whenever you're ready. And you just do it, cut, print, let's go. And everyone's like, can I?

Speaker 1:
[148:33] No, you can't.

Speaker 5:
[148:34] No.

Speaker 1:
[148:34] I saw there was a guy, I'm forgetting his name, really funny character actor. I think he had like some wrestling background too. He's kind of like bigger guy.

Speaker 5:
[148:44] Hall Houser? Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[148:46] Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's it. Yeah, he's hilarious. Fantastic actor. Amazing actor.

Speaker 5:
[148:51] Amazing.

Speaker 1:
[148:52] And he was talking about how he did a movie with Clint where he was the lead and basically he was, people said he was the only guy that got to do more takes.

Speaker 5:
[149:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[149:00] And I think he had told Clint, hey, I'm not used to doing this. There might be some times where like I need to find it a little bit. Do you mind? And then Clint was like, yeah, sure.

Speaker 5:
[149:11] It's like crazy.

Speaker 1:
[149:12] Matt Damon said.

Speaker 5:
[149:13] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[149:14] Like you get two takes and this is it.

Speaker 5:
[149:16] This is it. Yeah. And I'm working on a South African accent. Dial in for six months. Yeah. Can I get another?

Speaker 1:
[149:25] Nope.

Speaker 5:
[149:25] No.

Speaker 1:
[149:25] That's it.

Speaker 5:
[149:26] I don't want to waste your fucking time. I'm 90. Let's go.

Speaker 1:
[149:30] It is like once you've been on any set, the idea of.

Speaker 5:
[149:33] Do you like it?

Speaker 1:
[149:34] Being on set?

Speaker 5:
[149:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[149:37] Sitting around all day? No.

Speaker 5:
[149:38] But the actual acting itself.

Speaker 1:
[149:40] Acting is fun. What I like is building the scene. So like if we have a scene, I'm like, you're with the director and you're with the actors. Like I want to know what the director wants from the scene and what his vision is for the funny. Yeah. Cause it could be completely different than why, what I'm trying to add to it. And then I want to be able to pitch some stuff and like have it kind of, like whenever we're doing run throughs, if we get the opportunity, I'm throwing things out.

Speaker 2:
[150:05] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[150:05] I'm kind of like feeling things out. And if it sticks, then we go. That part, even if I'm not in a scene and I'm kind of watching it and be like, oh, what if this happened? I like that part of it.

Speaker 2:
[150:14] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[150:15] Just sitting around all day, coming in, doing one line, and like the other actor isn't even there for your coverage. Not fun at all.

Speaker 5:
[150:22] No, no, no.

Speaker 1:
[150:24] Making something fun.

Speaker 5:
[150:25] Very fun. I agree.

Speaker 1:
[150:26] Feels kind of like joke writing.

Speaker 5:
[150:28] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[150:28] But what if I set him up for this and it's, yeah, that to me is cool.

Speaker 5:
[150:32] It is cool.

Speaker 1:
[150:32] The whole script, like, oh, there's no character arc here. What if we put this here? And that type of stuff is exciting.

Speaker 5:
[150:39] I think so too.

Speaker 1:
[150:40] Yeah. Why, what about you? You like the acting?

Speaker 5:
[150:42] I love it. I love it. And I love, you know, stand up such a singular solo kind of endeavor, the idea that, like, we're all trying to make this work together, especially if you have a good team, that collaborative feel, the idea of, like, what would make the, and also when you go, there's this time, too, where sometimes you're like, all right, this is what it is, like, this is the scene. And somebody suggests something, and you realize that it elevates everything. That's very exciting, fun thing to be a part of.

Speaker 1:
[151:11] Finding what the funny in the scene is. And to me, in my experience, it doesn't happen on the day when you press record. It's before. It's like, oh, what are we trying to get out of these? What is the tension in this? What are we trying to do, and where does this go? And I will be honest, when we did the movie, we did Street Fighter in Australia, because it's impossible to film anything in America, especially in LA, it's just so fucking expensive. There is something, and I would hear boxers talk about it all the time, like don't put your fight camp in your home city, because you have too many people that want you to do things, and you'll end up doing them. Doing a movie in a foreign country where you don't really know anybody, and nobody on the crew really knows anybody, you just have a singular focus. Like, are you free Saturday? Yeah, I'm not doing anything for two months, always free. And in a way, as much as I want, like I have my fam out there, but as much as I would love to film, like if I want to film shit in New York because I just love New York, and I want to do everything in New York, and that's important, yes. If it's an action movie or some wild movie that doesn't need to be in a city where the city is a character, take us away.

Speaker 5:
[152:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[152:25] Because then everybody is on the same page with one goal.

Speaker 5:
[152:28] You're totally right, you're totally right, yeah. Being away is key, and leaving the country is even better.

Speaker 1:
[152:33] If you're in Austin, think about the amount of things that you're going to be pulled to do, pods or a meeting or dinner with the family.

Speaker 5:
[152:42] It's everything. Yeah. Being away is key.

Speaker 3:
[152:44] That's why White Lotus was the greatest show of all time. Inventing a show that you're like, yeah, we're going to go to Italy for a free month.

Speaker 1:
[152:49] And then they just fucking hang out. Or the Ocean's movies.

Speaker 5:
[152:53] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[152:53] I heard how that was partially like how they got them to do like the second and third. They're like, okay, you can all live at George's house in Lake Como.

Speaker 5:
[153:00] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[153:01] Sounds good.

Speaker 5:
[153:03] I saw that clip of Liam Neeson talking about how when he got taken, he was like, I'll be honest, I thought this was like a straight to DVD movie. But I saw that it shot in Paris and I was like, I'll spend six weeks in Paris. He's like, that's why I did the movie.

Speaker 3:
[153:21] Yeah. Sandler's that way.

Speaker 1:
[153:22] Sandler puts his in really cool locations.

Speaker 3:
[153:24] Hawaii.

Speaker 5:
[153:25] Always Hawaii.

Speaker 1:
[153:26] It's like every time Hawaii. Yeah. That's the move, though. That's the goal. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[153:30] Definitely. To pick awesome locations, that is the goal.

Speaker 1:
[153:34] Go with all your boys. Make something awesome. Bring the family out.

Speaker 5:
[153:38] Yeah. No, I'm always just like, I think this makes a lot more sense in Italy if we would do that.

Speaker 1:
[153:44] Bad thoughts. I only have them in Amsterdam for some reason.

Speaker 5:
[153:49] Yeah, shit will happen there.

Speaker 1:
[153:50] Anyway, dude, I want everybody to go check it out and make sure, are you going to be doing the road anytime soon?

Speaker 5:
[153:54] I'm not going to go on tour until 27.

Speaker 1:
[153:57] Good for you, man.

Speaker 5:
[153:58] Yeah, it's been a lot of touring, man. It's been a lot of touring.

Speaker 1:
[154:01] Yeah, I get it. But I also think time off is valuable, dude.

Speaker 5:
[154:07] It's been a lesson. I think it helps a lot. I think it makes you live.

Speaker 1:
[154:11] And then you have something to talk about.

Speaker 5:
[154:12] To talk about.

Speaker 3:
[154:13] And we're talking helicopters.

Speaker 5:
[154:14] Time for choppers, 1,700 horsepower cars. And then like, yeah, it gives you a chance to like enjoy life, have some balance, experience some things, talk about it. And it is good to like pull back from the incessant road schedule.

Speaker 1:
[154:31] I love that. That's kind of been the way that I've gone about it. Because I find I don't have anything to talk about that's different than the last time, if I just keep touring. And then I'm telling you different versions of the same jokes. And I feel guilty, because I kind of want to give them... I want them to come and be like, what the fuck was that?

Speaker 5:
[154:47] Yeah. And that happened if you...

Speaker 1:
[154:49] Take a little time off.

Speaker 5:
[154:50] Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1:
[154:51] Anyway, Tom Segura, thank you so much for joining us, my boy.

Speaker 2:
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