transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:02] Well, hi and welcome to Practice Makes Parent, where we understand it's not about perfection, but about transformation. I'm Dr. Danny Huerta.

Speaker 2:
[00:09] And I'm Rebecca St. James. And I think we all know that the way a father treats his daughter is so essential and so important in that daughter's life. And it really becomes a blueprint for how she understands love, worth and her place in the world. And our culture, unfortunately, often measures girls by appearance, approval, performance, popularity.

Speaker 1:
[00:32] So much pressure.

Speaker 2:
[00:32] Oh, gosh. And I really believe that that's contributing so much to anxiety today because of that focus.

Speaker 1:
[00:39] And loneliness, I'm sure. Yeah. Because you're wrestling through that on your own.

Speaker 2:
[00:42] And then I think social media is just upping that, you know, it's already there at school and in a lot of relationships, I think, this pressure and sometimes coming in the family too. But this appearance, approval, performance, popularity, that's your worth. That's what's being told to these girls. And I do think it's contributing to anxiety. So we really want to pivot on this and just go, okay, what is the Bible saying? What is God saying about our girls? What are we communicating to our girls in our parenting? So this is not just for dads. You could look at the title of this podcast and go, Daddy Daughter Connection. You know, and your moms are like, I'm out. I'll pass it on to my husband, but I'm out. Now, this is for you too. There's going to be so much good truth in here that is for you as well. And I know, Danny, I'm sure you probably did this, but the Daddy Daughter dances at church. Oh my goodness. Are those the most precious things?

Speaker 1:
[01:31] Yes. Again, on a previous episode, I talked about my non-dancing skills, but I popped them out for the Daddy Daughter dance. And I just, man, it was so much fun to do that. I didn't want that night to end. We, I was sweating. I was wet, just dripping, and we were laughing and having an amazing time. There were so many dads out there that had no clue what they were doing dancing. And we were having fun. It didn't matter at all. We were with our daughters. And actually, Lexi still talks about that.

Speaker 2:
[02:02] I'm sure she does.

Speaker 1:
[02:03] We did it two years in a row. And then one year she said, Hey dad, can we just go out the two of us during that Daddy Daughter time and have a special time where we just connect? I just absolutely love that. I've loved being a dad to a daughter. And in different translations, daughters are described as polished or carved stones adorned to beautify the palace. And that goes to both inward character and outward grace. And for dads, the biblical vision has real everyday implications in your home. And it's so true, you have long-lasting impact as moms and dads. And just know, right now, we're going to key in on dads. But this is for you as well, moms. Encourage the dad's relationship with the daughter, and you foster your relationship with your daughter as well. And today, we're talking about that special connection of dads and daughters, why it matters, how it shapes her identity, and how fathers can reflect God's heart by offering presence, protection, attention, and respect. Moms, make sure you share this podcast with your friends, with your husband, with the men around you, that brothers, maybe other people you know in the church that need to hear this. And if you want the next generation of girls to grow up knowing their worth, this conversation is for you.

Speaker 2:
[03:29] Well, Pastor Freddie Prado is our guest today. He's the father of four girls and he has one awesome son. He's way outnumbered, but that son is awesome. He serves at New Life Church in Renton, Washington, and he studied Bible and pastoral ministry through Global University. And he's written a book called Daughters of the King. We have it here in studio. It's about dads being present, being intentional and having authentic connection with their girls. Freddie, welcome to Practice Makes Parent. We're so happy you're here.

Speaker 3:
[03:57] How's it going, Danny and Rebecca? It's great to see you guys and be a part of this today.

Speaker 2:
[04:01] Yeah, we're thrilled that you're here.

Speaker 1:
[04:03] Excited to have you here.

Speaker 2:
[04:04] We love this idea of this book and what you're representing, a devotional for dads and daughters. It's incredibly important. And I just want to start with, what created your passion for this topic, your heart for this? I mean, I can guess having four daughters helped. But just speak to that moment where you knew this book is needed.

Speaker 3:
[04:23] Yeah, I think being a pastor, a lot of times, and for myself, I love cooking for people, and I love preaching God's Word. And so, I've had this deep conviction that as I preach God's Word, and as I, like every ministry I've ever led, has always had food elements. Like, I want to feed every teenager in the world. And I've always thought and had this conviction that, man, I don't want to feed God's Word to people through sermons, or feed God's people at events, you know, that we have at church, and my own family be left without that feeding of God's Word. Or, you know, and so this book in the heart of this book came from me wanting to disciple my daughters every single day. You know, I don't want to stand in front of crowds and then go home and not have anything left in the tank for my family. And so, I want to disciple them well. I want to teach them well. And I want to have that relationship with my girls. So that's kind of where this came from, just this desire to have that relationship and teach my girls who Jesus is.

Speaker 2:
[05:23] That's great.

Speaker 1:
[05:24] Yeah, discipleship is so important. It is something that's intentional. You're carving out time, you're carving out attention to be there with your daughters. And, you know, I look at a statistic from 2023 that girls' self-confidence has dropped significantly over the past several years, from 68 percent saying, yeah, I've got a good self-confidence down to 55 percent. So it's almost half of girls or young women saying, yeah, I don't have good self-confidence. Talk to the importance of that relationship to self-confidence in a young woman, in a daughter, from that relationship with a dad.

Speaker 3:
[06:01] Yeah, I think as dads, we have to understand and all parents have to understand that our belief system drives our identity. And so as our girls grow, if they can have a belief system rooted in scripture, if they can see themselves and have true beliefs about who they are, like, you know what? Maybe sometimes my mind tells me, I am dumb or I'm not smart enough or I'm not good enough. But if they can have belief systems that say, you know what? My dad and my mom tell me I'm beautiful. My dad and my mom tell me I'm smart. You know what? God created me. I'm his. I was formed in my mother's womb. What happens is, is when those voices come into our lives that are healthy, that are true, those belief systems begin to create an identity in our daughters that then shape, man, the world's going to come my way. Flies are going to try to come in, but they won't stick. They won't stand when we have those belief systems solid inside of us. And so I think that's just something we can do is speak over our daughters. Man, this is who God says you are. I know maybe that belief has come in, but is that true? And challenge those things. So yeah, that's what I'd say.

Speaker 1:
[07:11] Yeah, some of the things with my daughter just makes me think of the moments early on in her life. There were a lot of comments that came her way about her looks. They go, oh man, you're so beautiful, you're so pretty. And it was all about her external. And I think as dads, we can go even deeper and say, man, I love to hear your thoughts, honey. I love when you give insights into things. I love your smile. When you bring that smile, it brings life to a room. And that feedback from a dad goes a long way. What are some of the phrases you used with your four daughters that are in your home and your daughters would kind of say, Oh, man, I love when my dad says that.

Speaker 3:
[07:47] Yeah, there's a movie called The Help that I think was pretty, you know, a lot of people know it. And one of the ladies in that movie, she tells the girl that she watches over, you are smart, you is kind. And she uses some of those as phrases. And so my wife, Brianna and I, we just love looking at our daughters because they're each different, right? Every little girl, their smile is different, their attitude is different. And so like with my daughter, Caitlin, she's responsibility driven. And so we always say, Katie, you don't have to be perfect. Remember that. You don't have to be perfect, Katie. For Aria, you know, she is the person who will love everyone. And she's got huge emotions, highs and lows. And we look at Aria and we just say, remember Aria, your emotions don't control you, girl. You're okay, or hey, it's okay to have those emotions today. And so I think just knowing your girls and having those repetitive things that you're speaking over them to kind of center them back and then build them up to kind of almost prophesy, this is who you are. This is who God says you are.

Speaker 1:
[08:47] So, yeah. Freddie, in that one, you went a different direction on it than I expected, which was fantastic. I hadn't thought about this, but this is your relieving pressure according to what you know about your daughter. You're saying, hey, I want to take this burden off of you. I see that this is one that you'll naturally put in your backpack, and, you know, don't put it in there. You don't need to have that. I want to, as a dad, I just want to take that pressure off of you. And so those words, they can either be descriptive in a deep way about your daughter, but also freeing and saying, hey, I know this about you. Let me help you not take that on as a pressure.

Speaker 2:
[09:27] It's descriptive and prescriptive. It's kind of like you're speaking to both those sides of the coin. And I love that. And the affirmation component from a dad, I just think is so huge. And I noticed when my husband speaks to, especially, I mean, both of our girls, they're 11 and 7 currently. And when he speaks life over them or affirmations like you're talking about Freddie, it's just so huge. You can just kind of see them light up. And as you said, the repetition of that, it just becomes what they know about their identity. And I think that's incredibly important. You know, a dad wears a lot of different hats. And I mean, we could go on and on and on about the different hats. But some of them that, you know, I know are key ones are dad, friend, protector, advisor, mentor. Which ones of those would you say are quite primary in focus? Because really, this is about intentionality as a dad, right? Where would you encourage dads to really position their intentionality when it comes to those hats?

Speaker 3:
[10:27] Yeah, I would say wise storyteller. And I say wise storyteller just because, you know, there's specific stories that, you know, maybe I wouldn't want to share with my daughter in a specific time frame. But being able to tell stories about, you know, Brianna and I, you know, about our relationship, tell stories about when I was young, when I was little, or I do this thing where we'll be watching basketball and I'll be like, you know, I could have been in the NBA. And my girls will be like, Dad, no, you couldn't have been in the NBA, right? And just being able to tell stories to my girls, both stories that come from my own life and stories, maybe just read from a book or, you know, stories that, you know, inspire them, stories from God's word. So I love being able to be a storyteller. I think that hat does a lot in the way we shape our girls because the stories can turn into lessons. And I would say the other hat is when you pair a storyteller with a protector, you know, you put meaning behind the stories. I think that's something we do often. Like we wrestled with allowing our oldest daughter, Caitlin, to spend the night somewhere for the first time. And that was something that was so big on Brianna and I's heart and mine. Like should we allow her to spend the night at someone's house? And we just came to the sense of peace in ourselves where we said, you know what, we know these people, we trust these people, but at the same time, we can have real honest, sometimes awkward or weird conversations that open the door to say, hey, this is a safe place for us to say anything that happens, we can talk about anything that goes on, we can talk about. And so that storytelling then turns into, I'm a protector and I can teach you through that and we can learn through the story. So I would say being as dads, storytellers and protectors goes a long way.

Speaker 1:
[12:17] Yeah, they're storytellers and singer of songs at an early age, right? With the kids, we sound professional when they're little, right? They want us to keep singing and then they get a little older and they go, yeah, dad, maybe not. But no, they actually want us to sing later on. That was interesting. My daughter, I know when she reached the teen years, she's going, dad, can you sing again the song that you used to sing when I was little? There's this desire for or nostalgia around that relationship at the different stages with their dad. And what I'm gathering from you, Freddie, is that you are intentional about forming an identity in Christ with your daughters and pointing them to Jesus in that. And with the story, you take them into that story, and that's what your book's about, right? Daughters of The King and pointing them to that bigger, larger story in their lives. So identity is a key one. Let's talk about how that makes a difference as they go into dating, as they begin to experience the over flooding emotions of a crush. How does a dad speak into that and help their daughter through those moments?

Speaker 3:
[13:25] Yeah, I think it all starts with being able to teach our daughters who God is. When we are able to lay a foundation for, man, this is who our father is. Our father has a plan for us. Our father has good things for us. And from there, we can teach our daughters who is Jesus. What does redemption look like? What does it mean to be forgiven? What does it mean to be shown mercy? And then the power of the Holy Spirit. When we teach our daughters and have a foundation of who God is, then we can start to have this conversation, OK, who am I? When I've learned all this about God, when I have this core thing in me of who God is now, what does that mean about who I am? And when I can, from that view of who God is, be able to speak and know who I am, now let's talk about crushes. Let's talk about dating. What does that look like, you know? Because I think I made a mistake early on with one of my daughters. She was in kindergarten, and in the parent teacher conference, they were saying how she was holding hands with a boy out at recess. And you know, for me growing up, it was like boy-girl relationships, like no, do not do that. And so that kind of came up in me as a parent, as a dad, I'd never had that before. And I'm like, why are you holding hands with a boy? You know, what are you doing? And that ended up hurting and causing just a little bit of a scar there to where it was like, she didn't want to talk to us about friends or she didn't want to talk to us so much about like boys or crushes, even though she was young, those things are still present and it took some time to heal that. It took some time to come to a place now where we talk about boys all the time. We talk about what does it look like to have a crush on someone or to see someone and man, they're funny or they're cool. And I think when we have that basis of who God is and his character, not mine all the time, but his character, and then we know who we are, we feel safe to talk about crushes and dating and say, this is how God made it. God made Adam and he made Eve and they liked each other. Adam was like, whoa, she's pretty cute, right? And the same thing is going to go for our daughters and for our sons and to teach them in a way that doesn't have so much of the brokenness some of us carry in relationships, but can be very natural in helping our daughters have a healthy view of relationships.

Speaker 1:
[15:41] So on the natural side, where do those conversations generally take place? I mean, it doesn't have to be a formal deal. So when do those things come up for you as a dad? Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[15:52] I would say when we're making breakfast and my wife is flipping pancakes and the girls are all around the breakfast bar, and someone makes a comment about like, man, Jenna likes this boy or oh, Katie likes this boy. The breakfast table can be a place to talk about crushes, or if we're watching a movie and all of a sudden, the girl just meets someone and she wants to marry him because they finish each other's sandwiches. That movie is very popular in our house. Whether it be that, that's opportunity to talk about it. So anything we're doing in life, conversations that are meaningful can come up and be a part of it.

Speaker 1:
[16:31] You know, it's interesting. You bring just movies and watching that together. I remember early on when my daughter, as a family, we were watching a Hallmark movie with my wife. And I said, I just need to pause here for a moment. Hey, honey, and I was talking to my daughter. I said, it doesn't turn out like this. I just want to let you know. I mean, it puts the bar super high for a guy who comes in, sweeps and it's all this, I want to make sure that this isn't your picture of what it has to look like and expectations you have towards a guy. But it led to a wonderful conversation around that. And we laughed about it because we had more conversations in later years about what she needs to be looking for in a guy character wise and beyond behaviors, what she should learn about that. And in those different moments, in the car rides, at the breakfast table, movies, find opportunities to just talk about relationships in general. And that's what you're saying. Let's just make it natural.

Speaker 2:
[17:33] I think there's this kind of almost like hero worship too, that young girls can have for their dads. And I use worship very lightly. But just looking up to him, I remember being really young and talking to my dad about how, I knew he was taken and everything, but I would have liked to have married him. You know, like he's just, yeah. But just, I think that there's that heart, you know, to, of just honor. And if it's a good dad, you're just looking up to them when you're, you know, really young. And I think honoring that, the beauty of that. And then dad's also saying, look, look at your mom. You know, she's got character that honors Jesus. Like, look at her. Like, this is why I chose this woman. Like, I think dads can really honor their wives and go, this is what matters. Like, you look at your mom, you love and respect her. And this is the kind of woman that a man like me wants to choose because of that. And it's beyond beauty. It's beyond skin deep. Like what you were talking about earlier, Danny, and I loved that. You know, you chose to do a devotional book out of all the kind of daddy daughter books that you could have probably chosen to write. You chose a devotional book. I'd love for you to speak to the why of that and how these, like doing a devotional book with your daughter can reinforce that sense of God given worth when society just sends these conflicting messages about beauty, success, value, all of that. Can you speak to that part of your heart?

Speaker 3:
[18:59] Yeah, I love devotionals because it's this rhythm. Devotionals become a daily rhythm that become a habit that begin to transform our hearts and lives. Now, when it comes to the way we disciple our kiddos, I always think about Deuteronomy 6 where we have the Shema. It was a prayer that the people of Israel prayed daily, many times. And it ends with saying, talk about these things when you walk along the road, when you sit at the table. And a devotional offers an opportunity for us to say, okay, everything we do, we're going to view through a biblical worldview lens. Everything that we do over the last few months, just with my daughter, Aria, who she scares me because she's most like me. Just the last few months, we've talked about vaping. She's eight years old. We were driving and two people were vaping. Or we've had conversations about the LGBTQ community from just watching a baking show, and they had a specific episode. We had the conversations about abortion and she asked such deep questions. And I want Aria, and I believe my duty as a dad, is for her to see each one of the conflicts in culture, each one of the things that come against our beliefs through the lens of Scripture. What does the Bible say about this? How did God make this? And when I can take that into every aspect for my daughters, that means that the Bible does not have anything as taboo. Anything is open for us to talk about and for God to speak into. And so the devotionals offer a daily opportunity that speaks into what we went through today, what's been happening in our house, and it offers that habit that just begins to form in our girls, where we can trust them to read their Bibles on their own. We can trust them to pray on their own, because it's almost like that exercise has been done in them on a daily basis.

Speaker 2:
[20:53] Love that.

Speaker 1:
[20:54] And let's extend from there and talk about the faith formation of the father, the dad, the modeling of that. Why is that meaningful for a daughter to see that in a dad? What difference does that make? The dad is spending that time in prayer chamber, talking about the fact that he's praying for each of their daughters or his daughters. What is the difference there?

Speaker 3:
[21:20] Yeah, I think, you know, for me, I'll never forget waking up every morning, coming downstairs and seeing my dad on his knees in the spare bedroom every morning in his work clothes. You know, that's an image that is in me, in my heart. And I think I want to be able to have my girls have that same image of dad loves Jesus, dad prays, dad believes, because it's that foundation that all of a sudden our kiddos take that on and they raise their hands in worship or we see them praying. And I think as dads, not just in seeing us pray, seeing us read our word, but also seeing us confess our sin, seeing us share the parts of us that aren't always the best or most polished. When our girls see spiritual rhythms in us, they're going to want to take those rhythms on the same way that they see momma do her hair, you know, Brianna does her hair every morning, and the girls are like, Mom, can I do it like yours? You know, our girls take on that, our kiddos do that, and so I want my girls to be able to see us live out this love for Jesus.

Speaker 1:
[22:31] Yeah, and you know, there's a statistic as well that says that 70% of girls ages five to 13 experience loneliness, and I know that extends out into the 14, 15, 16, 17-year-old young women as well, and this, I think what it also provides for a daughter is a reassurance that my dad is praying for me, he knows me, I'm not alone in my battle, and also a dad pointing them to Jesus, and hey, have you talked to your heavenly father? You're talking to me about this, but make sure you talk to him, because he's with you all the time, and I can only carry that so much, and pretty soon, you're going to be taking a lot of things on, and I want you to know him so well. I mean, that heart of a dad makes a huge difference in our daughters, don't you think? Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[23:24] Oh, I think it makes all the difference in our girls, because like you said, many young ladies, they battle, they struggle, and what would happen if a dad, sometimes it stepped in and sometimes the phrase would be a dad stepped up, you know, and I would just encourage all dads, you know, because part of the reason why I wrote this book didn't come from like, oh, I think I'm a great dad. It was from a healthy season in me where I needed to get right with God. I needed to get healthy as a dad, as a husband. And through that, I was able to see my girls better. When you get the sin out of your life, when you're able to say, you know what, man, I need to not just serve God in the way that I speak, I need to serve God in who I am. And from there, you get to see your girls and the heart of the father is in you, which then you can extend to your family. You can extend and it becomes real in the world around you, in your home. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[24:20] One of the things I think we can think about like spiritual practices or, you know, devotional time without kids or things like that. And also moms listening, we're encouraging mom, son devotions too. I mean, this is such an incredible way to connect with our kids, way to encourage them towards Jesus. So just know that. But your book includes playful activities. And why do you want to encourage parents to have fun with their kids? Why is that important for deep connection? And especially as Danny was talking earlier about how a lot of girls feel lonely or under pressure or stressed. How does this part play in? That it can be playful and connecting to Jesus.

Speaker 3:
[25:03] Yeah, I like to teach our girls that serving God is both time and worship, going to church, and it's also eating a sandwich. It's also playing sports. And so that fun that we have together, I believe that the Holy Spirit is present, joy is real, and that transforms our home, that transforms the way it feels. I think some of us, and even maybe you're a listener, and your home just feels dark. Your home feels like you're a tough spot, and it's like, you know what? We need to let the light in, and we need to play together. We need to play some cards together. We need to run outside, get on our bikes, and have some fun, because those memories are never going to leave our kiddos. They're never going to leave us, and that's serving God, too. I believe play is a spiritual practice that we can do in our homes.

Speaker 1:
[25:54] Freddie, have you ever noticed just your playfulness, how it lights up each of your daughters in different ways? I mean, just, what have you noticed? What kind of momentum does it create for your home when you enter in with a playfulness, your playfulness side?

Speaker 3:
[26:08] Yeah, when you enter the home with your playfulness side, it's almost like having a really good playlist in the background. It just creates this foundation that our home is light, our home is fun, and our girls begin to trust more. Our girls begin to want to have more conversations. Our girls want to open up more from that place of safety because the play creates that safe environment, that feeling of safety rather than when I'm stressed or when life feels heavy and I'm bringing more of my stress side. I'm bringing more of I, we need to get stuff done side. I can connect better. And especially like that's why I love Brianna so much is she's able to do that with Grace to share like, hey, you doing okay? You know, and kind of flip the switch to say, okay, my family needs that healthy, playfulness now and it changes everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:05] And Freddie, we can bring it with our eyes, with our smile. I mean, that alone transforms the feeling of the home. I know there have been moments when I'd come home and looking to Lexi's eyes, being able to just look with playfulness and a big smile and go, okay, what are we going to do? Or there's a surprise there. Or when she was little, all of a sudden, she'd actually hide sometimes before I'd get home. She goes, dad, you're going to have to find me when you get home. And then I'd go look for her. But she knew that there were moments of playfulness. Man, it was so connecting. And as dads with the pressure and moms as well, all the responsibilities kind of squeeze out this playful side. And it's hard to have energy for it. It's hard to pay attention to it because there's always a to-do list and always pressures on top of us as parents. Let's not forget that one because it creates a momentum that is so lighthearted in the home that it lifts some of that burden in there. And man, I believe that we're going to have an amazing time in heaven on Jesus' playful side, right? We're going to be having a great time there. Speak to just the regular rhythms that you have with your daughters. Are they simple? Are they big? Because they're busy dads out there. And some of the dads are going to go, man, OK, man, I wish I had the time to do this. I have so much on my plate. Let's simplify it. What are some simple little things that a dad could do to create connectedness with his daughter?

Speaker 3:
[28:37] Yeah, simple things like on Saturdays, when there's not work to be done, it's an amazing opportunity to say, our girls are probably going to wrestle with me. It's probably going to happen. And one of my daughters, I'm always going to say, you need to say, surrender. And she's always going to say, I'll never surrender. And we know that Saturday is always a time when, man, we can wrestle. Or another thing that I've been able to do is as a dad, I didn't really know how to do Barbies. I haven't really known how to, you know, I've never danced, I've never danced before. And don't ask me to do gymnastics because I'm not flexible. But when our daughters begin to say like, hey, I want to try basketball, I'm there for you in basketball. And then for gymnastics, I'm standing on the side and I'm going, yes, you're awesome. And when there's something that I can really give that I know a lot about, I'm going to be full in, I'm going to be their coach. And when there's not something, I'm going to be their cheerleader. Because I'm not the best at that. Or I love cooking. Our girls, we're going to chop onions together. We're going to chop strawberries and letting them be a part of the routines. One thing Brianna has taught me is, man, our girls can fold laundry and we can connect with them through that. You know what? Our girls can help us with their rooms. They can help with the house. And I'm like, will they do it right? And it's like, it doesn't matter if they do it right. Let's do it together. And that just those everyday moments, I don't think our kiddos necessarily want us to play with them or connect with them in a certain way. I think sometimes they do, but a lot of times they just want us to involve them. They want us to have them like invited to be next to our side. So yeah.

Speaker 1:
[30:20] So I remember around COVID time, we all remember that that season in the world. And my daughter was, had just started a few years before that doing aerial acrobatics. And she had just bought this rig that was like 20 feet high. We have vaulted ceilings. There's ceilings that are really high. So we were able to build it inside the house during that time. It was so cold outside. And she said, Hey dad, please today, I want you to do aerial stuff with me. I said, Honey, I don't do that. I mean, I don't move that way. And my body just doesn't handle that. And she kept asking and asking. She was pleased that it would mean a lot to me. She still remembers that moment. So I went up there. I looked really silly. I went way up there, and she had me all contorted and weird. And then she goes, Dad, so you put your legs way out, and then I'll hold on to this one and that one. And she, all her weight, and she's very light. But for me, it was a lot on the two legs. It popped my back beautifully. It just opened it right up. I was like, oh my goodness. It felt so good. I needed that. That was a free chiropractic adjustment. But it was very memorable. We have pictures of it. She was showing her around for a while. But being able to be goofy with our daughters that way, but in what they're interested in and showing interest, as simple as that. And even if you go for a walk with your daughters and taking a pause, it can be as simple just around the block. Sometimes my daughter wanted to go run. We'd run and I'd go, honey, when we're running, I just see you disappear in the distance. So how about we do this? We run and we have a halfway point and then we walk together so we can talk. After I catch my breath. So dads know that it can be in the rhythm of the day. It doesn't have to be big ceremonies every week. This is about figuring out how you can manage this wonderful commodity that you have, which is a time, and then the other one, which is attention and being able to connect with your daughter in every day or your daughters in every day.

Speaker 2:
[32:25] Yeah, absolutely. And I love that we have focused so much in this episode on the daily habits and rhythms of the household that we can just work in this time that is connecting, that's relational, that is showing our value for our daughters. I know another thing too, another little idea, and this is not a high pressure thing, but I've just seen it recently, especially as our oldest is coming into the teen years, that one-on-one time, even if it's like a half an hour, to run out and go get donuts or ice cream or something. You don't even have to do like a big old meal, but just could be half an hour, and that one-on-one time in the car on the way there, that it's just her, is so valuable. I see my girls being lit up by that one-on-one time with dad, especially as they get older. So that's just an idea.

Speaker 1:
[33:13] My daughter, still now, she says, dad, let's go grocery shopping together, because we did that so often. And it is fun, it's just a simple thing. And I go, sure, yeah, let's go just grocery shop together.

Speaker 2:
[33:23] Yes, and it can be the simplest of things. So that's just another idea to plant in the minds of dads that are listening and moms. But I hope that you're hearing that this isn't about being a perfect dad or perfect mom, it's about being a faithful one and modeling a love that reminds your daughter she is deeply valued, intentionally created and worthy of honor. And if you would like to get a copy of Pastor Freddie's book, Daughters of the King, it's an easy read, I'm holding it up right now, and one that we're sure your daughter will enjoy. Each chapter has a section just for dad, and there are daily declarations for your girls. I love that, that speaking those affirmations over your girls. Short and sweet sections on how to talk together with God, as well as memory making ideas on a variety of topics. And it can be yours for a gift of any amount to focus on the family. Just follow the link in our show notes and you can get your copy.

Speaker 1:
[34:14] Yeah, and the way a father treats his daughter becomes a blueprint for how she understands love, worth and her place in this world. And we talked about how social media is destroying the self-worth and confidence of young girls and so many other messages coming their way from peers to others around them. And to combat that, it's important for them to have positive influences that speak into their lives, including moms and dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents. And we would recommend getting your daughter's subscription to Brio Magazine if she's quickly approaching or in her teen years. And I'll tell you what, the magazine has so many fun things. My daughter has loved Brio Magazine. It even has special paper, guys. And so you can write in it, many girls journal in that magazine. There are fun quizzes there as well to have some self-awareness and some fun things to be talking about with their friends. Please consider Brio Magazine. Your daughters will love that. And Rebecca was on the cover.

Speaker 2:
[35:18] She was a cover girl multiple times for Brio. Yeah, I think three or four times. And I love that magazine. It's really, really well done. People that are on the cover are just always such good role models for girls. And so it's absolutely fabulous.

Speaker 1:
[35:32] I mean, Rebecca.

Speaker 2:
[35:33] Oh, well, I wasn't thinking about me in that moment. I was thinking about Sadie Robertson was just on there recently. There's all these just wonderful people that are just kind of heroes to these young girls that they can look up to. And each edition has inspiring, as I said, profiles of women and girls that our daughters can stimulate. There are cultural insights from a Christian perspective, health and beauty tips. That was really fun. I learned a lot in those days of just reading Brio. And faith-filled features. And if your daughter is a little younger, between eight and 12, you can look into getting a subscription to Clubhouse Magazine. It's fabulous as well. This one is for boys and girls, but it will give your kids encouragement, entertainment and get them reading. Plus it's also all grounded in our shared faith in Jesus. All the details for the magazines are in our show notes. And if you have any questions, you can certainly give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY. That's 1-800-232-6459.

Speaker 1:
[36:28] Well, Pastor Freddie, we'd love to continue hearing your sage advice. Man, I love your humble heart, your loving heart. It's so evident in the way that you are stepping into your role as father in your home and as husband as well. And we'd love for you to join us in answering an email question. Many times we're answering questions here on the show. Would you join us on that?

Speaker 3:
[36:54] Sounds great. I'd love to.

Speaker 1:
[36:56] All right. Well, today's question comes from Angelice, who writes, dear Danny and Rebecca, my mom listens to your podcast in the car and had a question about my dad. She said, I should send my question in, so here it is. I like sports. I like camping, hunting and fishing. Most girls don't. Now that's a question there, right? Most girls don't. My dad and I have always had fun together, but now that I'm 13 and going through all of that, I've noticed that my dad has changed too. He's still my dad, but it seems we're not as close as we were when I was 12. It's just different and a little weird sometimes. I don't understand, and I miss how he used to be. What can I say to my dad to help him get that I'm still his tomboy girl?

Speaker 3:
[37:42] Oh, man. Well, Angelice, I just want to say you are an amazing follower of Jesus. You are special and valued. You're a daughter of the king. And I would just say it can be hard when we come to that place where we start to almost like kind of lose that heart for like, oh, man, our dad was perfect or our hero. And we start to see the world differently. And we start to say, like, man, I'm feeling a little more disconnected, or I'm starting to see more or see differently. And that's one thing I would say to just tell your dad is simply, hey, dad, I love you. Hey, dad, I'm here for you. Or hey, dad, I encourage you, because I think sometimes what we need as parents is just a shot in the arm of encouragement, too. So I think just being able to encourage your dad the way Jesus encourages in Scripture, encourage your dad any chance you get. At the same time, let him know, let him know that you remember every story, you remember every trip together or everything. And I think just reminding him of those things will kind of open the door for connection. And so I'd just like to say, Angelis, chase after your dad, maybe the way you've seen him chase after you in the past, and just praying for that relationship, praying for your dad and you, and believe that God can bring something new in this new season. Maybe it'll look a little different, but it'll still be beautiful. So that's so awesome.

Speaker 2:
[39:13] And just to piggyback on that, I think, Angelis, I know Danny and I, there was a little bit of tearing up. You admitted that earlier.

Speaker 1:
[39:24] Yeah, I read it last night, and I started to cry a little bit. Yeah, I have to admit, I got teary-eyed. A lot of juice, a little bit of juice came out.

Speaker 2:
[39:31] Yeah, just a little bit, just a little moisture around the eyes.

Speaker 1:
[39:34] Even earlier today, when I started to read, I was like, Oh my goodness, hopefully I can read this on the air.

Speaker 2:
[39:38] Me too. Yeah, but we're just touched by your question. I think it's a really beautiful question, and Danny was probably moved as a dad, I'm moved as a daughter and as a mom. So thank you for being so brave and vulnerable to share that, because I think everybody listening relates on some level. I remember things shifting around that age with my dad, and just feeling what you're saying, just a little weird, a little different. But I would encourage you, and just piggybacking again on what Freddie said, it seems like you have had a really close relationship with your dad, and you've shared a lot of experiences together. I would just encourage you to be honest with him too. Encourage him like Freddie's saying, that he's a great dad and you guys, you've enjoyed a beautiful connected relationship, but that you also want to continue doing all these things where you've made memories together and you miss some of that. Now that you're growing into your teen years, you're missing that and you want more of that. I think being vulnerable with your dad, like you've been vulnerable with us, is going to be a really important part of your relationship moving forward. What would you say, Danny?

Speaker 1:
[40:43] That's fantastic. I would say, Angelice, there are a lot of girls that actually love to go camping, hunting, and fishing. A lot of girls love sports. There is an assumption around that, that maybe girls don't, but there are several that do. What I would recommend is going to your dad and just acknowledging that maybe it feels weird right now, and maybe it's confusing to him as your dad, especially as you're growing and maturing. He doesn't want to get in the way of things. He doesn't know how to relate to you. It was maybe more affection when you were younger and now you're becoming a woman, and he's like, what do I do? A lot of dads ask about that, actually. They go, hey, so how do I treat my daughter? She's becoming a woman now, and it just feels different than it was before when she was my little daughter, and now she's a woman. You can tell them, hey, I miss you, and I still want to do the things we have enjoyed doing together. I realize maybe some things need to be different. I don't know, but I still want to spend time with you. And as you said, Freddie, bringing the word remember. Hey, remember when we did this, and remember when we did that, and maybe bringing out the photos, if you've got those on your phone, and saying, Dad, remember this. I loved doing this with you, and oh, remember when we fished at one time, and you're bringing those memories back. You go, hey, I want to make some more with you, Dad. Let's figure it out. Let's figure out how we can do this now, and I want to continue to receive your guidance, your affection, your love. It doesn't have to be weird. Let's figure this out together.

Speaker 2:
[42:18] So, so good. Well, thank you so much for your wonderful question, Angelis. We're so grateful to you. And we're also going to send your parents, Danny's book, Seven Traits of Effective Parenting, as well as Pastor Freddie's book, Daughters of The King, for you and your dad to go through together. That'll be such a blessing to you. We know. And thank you so very much for participating in our show. And if you're listening and you have a question you'd like us to answer, send an e-mail or a voicemail by clicking on the show notes. And you can remain anonymous and still get a book, so there's no reason not to reach out.

Speaker 1:
[42:51] Pastor Freddie, it's been fantastic to get to know your heart and just for sharing that heart with our podcast community here. And man, your daughters are lucky to have you as a dad.

Speaker 2:
[43:03] Yeah, they are.

Speaker 3:
[43:04] They're really interesting to have them.

Speaker 1:
[43:06] Little Mateo.

Speaker 3:
[43:08] Hey, it's been an honor. I would say my kiddos are, I'm more lucky to have them and Brianna. And so it's just, I'm just grateful that I get to share God's word and that dads and daughters can connect more deeply and we can see each part of God's family grow. So thank you guys so much.

Speaker 2:
[43:26] Thank you, Pastor Freddie. Appreciate your time.

Speaker 3:
[43:28] Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:
[43:38] Well, next week, we'll be talking about how to realize all the strengths that God has given you with my good, good friend, Carrie Hasenberg. She's a gifted teacher, and if you're in a challenging place in your parenting journey or just in life, period, and you're asking yourself questions like, what do I do now? How do I handle this? This is a conversation that you will not want to miss.

Speaker 1:
[43:58] Yeah, she's been all over the world guiding people towards emotional healing, abundance, and getting unstuck. She'll be directing her message toward parents, and we're excited to hear what Carrie has to say. Until then, I'm Dr. Danny Huerta, and I'm Rebecca St. James.

Speaker 2:
[44:12] Join us next time for more tips for transforming your parenting on Practice Makes Parent.