transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:00] Moms, you know those mornings where you're half asleep, trying to wrangle a baby through a diaper change before the whole house wakes up. We have all been there, and Little Sleepies gets it, and they actually designed for it. Their clothing has all of these thoughtful little details built into making everyday dressing and diaper changes so much easier. I'm talking Melt Into It Soft, the kind where your kid actually wants to get dressed. What I also love is that their pieces are designed to grow with your child and fit up to three times longer than typical kid's clothes. Honestly, beyond all of the practical stuff, Little Sleepies has a way of making everyday moments feel really, really special. Head to littlesleepies.com to find your new favorites. If you are expecting or dressing little ones, please check out Little Sleepies. You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code PODSPRING26 for 15% off full price products. Hey sweetie, your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm going to give it a try. Wish me luck.
Speaker 2:
[01:10] Me again.
Speaker 1:
[01:11] I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable.
Speaker 2:
[01:15] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[01:15] I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway.
Speaker 3:
[01:19] I haven't even left my chair.
Speaker 2:
[01:21] It's done.
Speaker 1:
[01:21] The car is gone.
Speaker 2:
[01:22] I'm holding a check.
Speaker 1:
[01:23] Anyway, Carvana, give it a whirl.
Speaker 2:
[01:26] Love you. So good.
Speaker 1:
[01:27] You'll want to leave a voicemail about it.
Speaker 2:
[01:29] Sell your car today on Carvana.
Speaker 1:
[01:32] Pick up fees may apply. Maybe I'm just like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is The Southern Tea with Lindsie Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non-functioning human being right now. Join Lindsie each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. That is the tea. Here's Lindsie. Good morning, Becky.
Speaker 2:
[02:09] Good morning, Lindsie. It still sounds like I'm in an airplane. Why? I don't know.
Speaker 1:
[02:17] What are you hearing? The dishwasher's not going off anymore.
Speaker 2:
[02:20] Oh, there we go. It literally just went away. I didn't know what I was going to do. But here we are.
Speaker 1:
[02:27] Well, hello. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of The Southern Tea. How are we doing?
Speaker 2:
[02:32] Good morning.
Speaker 1:
[02:33] I'm doing all right.
Speaker 2:
[02:36] It's been a hell of a week.
Speaker 1:
[02:37] You're telling me. Are you telling me?
Speaker 2:
[02:42] You know, different scenarios. I have some questions about me. But I would love to hear just how are you? Are you good? What's the vibe here?
Speaker 1:
[02:57] No. I am disassociated, as Alessandra tells me.
Speaker 2:
[03:02] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[03:04] I just crashed out for an entire week. And now my house is paying for it, because I did not do one load of laundry in an entire week. Didn't clean up anything. I've got 95 Nitos of Jackson's on the counter. My house never looks like this. It's very alarming. Two things.
Speaker 2:
[03:26] Number one, do give yourself a little bit of grace. Totally fine for the scenario of things of your house being the way it is. You are okay. You're going to go on down this healing journey, but your house is of zero importance right now. If the worst thing right now is cluttering building up, we'll get there. That'll be there at any point. Here we go. Number two, can I have one of those Nitos?
Speaker 1:
[03:54] Of course, you can. You saw the amount of Nitos that are in my house.
Speaker 2:
[04:00] I don't have one and Kayl introduced me to them and now I need one.
Speaker 1:
[04:04] This is insane. So I actually introduced Kayl to the Nito trend. And I let me show you what I bought for me and Kayl and Jackson, because you know, Kayl's in my house in May.
Speaker 2:
[04:16] She's coming there?
Speaker 1:
[04:17] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[04:17] Can I come?
Speaker 1:
[04:18] Yeah, everybody can come. It's going to be a free for all. Look, my first purchase on the TikTok shop.
Speaker 2:
[04:24] Are there? What are they?
Speaker 1:
[04:26] It's a Nito phone case. See them?
Speaker 2:
[04:28] Damn, I think I need that.
Speaker 1:
[04:30] I feel like you need it.
Speaker 2:
[04:32] Do they come in black?
Speaker 1:
[04:33] They came in like every different color, but Keele and Jackson both wanted blue, and I, of course, needed to get the pink one. That was my first TikTok shop purchase, and I'm really proud of myself. Mainly, whenever I get in very stressful situations, I will clean stuff. The coping mechanism, I guess, that I've learned to use, and for whatever reason, it's like last to rob stuff that I've gone through, I'm like, I literally don't care about the house.
Speaker 2:
[05:06] That's fine. That's fair. I think that's a sign of like, change is coming, you know?
Speaker 1:
[05:12] Right? It was just so bad, and I think that maybe people listening can understand this, but probably wouldn't relate to it, that like when you're going through something really heavy in your personal life, and then you're also having to like battle some of that heaviness publicly, that makes it really hard. Because you're never away from it, right? Like I say all the time, okay, if something goes on in my relationship, and it was just at home, and I could focus on that stuff at home, not that it makes it any better than anything happened, but it would be somewhat easier than not being able to disconnect ever. If I get on any social media app, like it's just a lot. And so I had therapy the other day, and she was like, Lindsie, you need to delete every app off of your phone.
Speaker 2:
[06:04] Yeah. It's such a unique situation for, you know, to be a friend of people that go through this, because obviously I don't really go through public things, because I'm like my not in any situation to, but both of you have. First, I want to say I'm happy that you are here and alive and well, well being used as a loose term.
Speaker 1:
[06:30] But as well as a term that I would say I am.
Speaker 2:
[06:34] Yeah, but like you are here and that is what's important, like most important because you could not have been, and I am very thankful that you are present right now and that you have the ability to take this and choose to do what's next and best for you. And I've been thinking about you so much obviously, since all this happened, we haven't really talked. I've been giving you your space, what you need. And I don't ever expect you to answer or anything of those sorts. I know that you know that I'm here supporting you from afar. It is hard to see the internet strum up words around friends and people that I love and care about because you automatically want to defend or to answer or to... But then it just adds to it. Like when... Because it'll just fuel the conversation to continue to go. And I think people have a really... Like they can't understand because they've never been in that situation or even been friends with... It's like really fucking hard being friends with people that are like constantly just being critiqued online because I know you outside of the way that people know you or that strangers know you. And it's really hard. And I can only imagine what it is that you guys go through as well with this because you're just constantly having to relive the worst parts of your life. And like people are just constantly reminding you of that. So I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I'm sorry that you're gonna continue to have to deal with this online, but I truly believe that, you know, I don't think you were in the best place before this. And I think that hopefully what comes forward from this will be the healing and like love and everything that you need and you deserve.
Speaker 1:
[08:32] So I think that when you're in a relationship and you know, hey, this is probably not the best thing for me, but it's really hard to like disconnect from that. So whether it be, there's been trauma bonds created within that relationship and, you know, there is an aspect of time spent and then an aspect of effort. And this is literally what I do every day of my life. I knew better, so I should have done better. And I'm not going to say that I'm happy with the situation and what transpired. But what I will say is that I think sometimes you have to really hit the rock bottom before you can move on and really start healing. And I told Madison, because you and I were supposed to record on Friday, and I was like, hey, I'm just like, I'm not in a good place. I'm not ready. And I'm probably going to need to do that on Monday or Tuesday next week. And she was like, no, like, we totally get it. And this morning, I woke up like on a completely new leaf. I spent a lot of time with Jackson. He had a sleepover at my house over the weekend and hung out with friends and had like a Sunday fun day at my house, which was really nice because I normally don't host. So that's a change. And it was just, it was a good time and refreshing something that I needed. And I feel like I was caught off from a lot of relationships that I didn't even realize was happening. And so for people to rally around me, knowing that I had kind of like moved away from those relationships has been refreshing. But it's also been really hard, like me walking around my house with a box, like putting memories and stuff like that away really sucks.
Speaker 2:
[10:29] Yeah. I mean, you're mourning a lot, right? There's a lot of aspects that you are being forced to mourn over an actual public situation. And I think that it, part of me, and I hope you can understand, like part of me is happy. I don't want to say happy, like thankful that there is some sort of public aspect to this, because in toxic relationships and when things like that happen like this are private, it's easy to continue that cycle, because no one knows about it, right?
Speaker 1:
[11:03] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[11:04] And so because of this, it puts you in a really hard situation to have to deal with it, because people around you are going to hold you accountable for it as well.
Speaker 1:
[11:16] And it's like you almost are forced in to, okay, I can't act like this didn't happen. You can't act like nobody knows about it. And so I think that that's been as hard as it's been, it's been helpful in a lot of ways. And it's really hard also going through something like this and being a parent too, right? Like I'm trying to prioritize my child, but knowing that like I really don't feel like I don't feel well. Knowing that like his life is still going on, right? And I have to prioritize that and make sure he's happy, healthy and whole. And, you know, the average person would be like, wow, like with everything that's transpired and the stuff that you're publicly going through, and you're just like hosting sleepovers and get-togethers at your house, that's crazy, but it's been so healing. Yeah. Did you guys know that three out of four US homes have toxic chemicals in their tap water? Even though contaminated water looks clear, it could be putting you at risk for devastating health concerns, including fatigue, hormone disruption, cognitive decline, and even cancer, which is so scary. And surprisingly, standard fridge and pitcher filters do very little to remove most contaminants, and bottled water contains microplastics. That's why I want to introduce you guys to Aqua True, the countertop water purifier tested and certified to remove 84 contaminants, including chlorine, lead, forever chemicals, and microplastics. It is patented four-stage reverse osmosis system that goes way beyond ordinary filters. For pure healthy water that you can trust, there is no plumbing or no installation. I am absolutely obsessed with my Aqua True. I drink so much more water now, and Jackson has learned how to use it, and he's drinking a lot more water now as well. Aqua True has been featured in Business Insider, Popular Science, and named Best Countertop Water Filter by Good Housekeeping. You guys can join the 98% of customers who say their drinking water is cleaner, safer, and healthier. Go to aquatrue.com now for 20% off your purifier using promo code SOUTHERNTEA. Aqua True even comes with a 30-day best tasting water guarantee. That's aquatrue.com, aquatru.com promo code SOUTHERNTEA. All right, ladies, whether you're in the middle of your pregnancy journey or adjusting to life with a newborn, things are constantly shifting, including what feels comfortable. You might be getting used to your changing body, nursing or pumping around the clock, or just trying to find your new normal as a mom. Kindred Bravely is a brand that I wish that I had whenever I was going through this journey. I actually just gifted this to one of my girlfriends who is expecting, and I'm so excited for her to be able to get her stuff. If you've never heard of Kindred Bravely, they make intimate an apparel for maternity, postpartum and breastfeeding, as well as baby essentials, all designed to make early motherhood feel a little less overwhelming and more supported. You guys might know Kindred Bravely for their best selling hands-free pumping and nursing bra, which is something that I'm gifting my girlfriend, but they also do way more than that. They make the softest maternity and postpartum clothes, including plus sizes, that you're actually gonna wanna keep wearing long after breastfeeding, and their stork baby collection has really cute, practical clothes and accessories for little ones. I also got a couple of pieces of that for her baby that we don't know what it is yet, so I'm really excited for her to get this stuff. Kindred Bravely has been trusted by millions of moms since 2015, and everything is designed by moms who have been there. And right now, Kindred Bravely is offering my listeners 20% off your first order when you go to kindredbravely.com/southerntea. That's kindredbravely.com/southerntea for 20% off your first order. Make sure that you use my link so that they know that I sent you, and exclusions apply.
Speaker 2:
[15:15] I mean, your life doesn't stop around you. And I think that healing and grief is so unique from a parental perspective, like your own healing and grief, because being a parent is such a selfless thing, and your priorities are no longer yours, like your own first. And of course, our own healing, our own safety, our own growth is important, but it's never singular. It's never a singular road that you're driving down. So, but like your love for Jackson has been always something that has grounded you. So I think, you know, pouring into him and pouring into, like people that have loved you, I think is the best thing that you can do. Right.
Speaker 1:
[15:58] I was actually blessed that will let me have Jackson for the past two weekends. So I could really just kind of put my mind and focus on parenting.
Speaker 2:
[16:10] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[16:11] And I've been trying to go to bed at a decent time. The night that that all went down, I didn't get in the bed until after four o'clock in the morning. And then Kayla called me and she was like, Hey girl, like, are you okay? And where are you going? And I'm like, again, disassociated. Like, why am I driving to Pilates? Like after something like that happened, like, that's insane.
Speaker 2:
[16:34] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[16:35] And then after I left Pilates, I was like, OK, I'm not going to a workout for the rest of the week. I'm going to take naps while Jackson's in school, try to catch up on some sleep because there is something, like, it's not physically tired, right? It's like an emotional tired that you never can get enough sleep. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[16:57] I mean, breakups are hard by themselves. Good breakups, bad breakups, breaking up from a person, a friend, a family member. Like, breakups are heavy to begin with, and so adding all the different layers on top of it, like, you need some time. Like, you need to take the time that you need to and heal your body and heal your mind and heal your heart, and that's a thousand percent not gonna happen in a week, in two weeks, right? Like, you have a lot, you've had a lot of healing that you've needed to do prior to this, so.
Speaker 1:
[17:34] And I think this is just like the catalyst that's gonna kind of like launch me into that direction, so I'm really glad. Then I come home from Pilates.
Speaker 2:
[17:45] I can't believe you went to Pilates.
Speaker 1:
[17:47] I mean, it's insane. What world?
Speaker 2:
[17:52] I was with Kale, like, when all that happened, and she was like, she's going to Pilates. I was like, what?
Speaker 1:
[18:01] Yeah, I'm like, I'm just on the news, and like walking into Pilates so casually. This is not normal. So I get home from Pilates, and Hunter is at my house working, and he's stayed at my house a lot since that situation went down. And I walk in the door, and I get a call from my neighbor. And she says, hey, Lindsie, I really hate to bother you, but I think there's a dead possum in your backyard. And I'm like, okay, Mary Jo. And she's like, I don't know, my dogs were outside last night. I really hope they didn't get it. Can you go out there and check? I can bring a shovel over. And I see her dinking around in her backyard. And I'm like, first of all, her dogs go in the fence. Her dogs didn't get this possum. And then I'm looking at it, and Hunter is with me, and he's looking at it, and there's flies everywhere. And I said, maybe it's just playing. It looked like it walked, and as it was walking, it just like, you know? Had a heart attack? Just, I'm pretty sure. And so I'm looking for any marks on the back to see if any animal possibly got it, and flip it over. And I see this little wiggly thing on its belly. A baby? A baby in the belly. So number one, I did not know a possum was a marsupial. That's something that I learned. I also did not know that a possum could have a baby in its belly be dead and the baby still be nursing.
Speaker 2:
[19:46] She sent me a video of it, so I'm looking. Maybe it died giving birth?
Speaker 1:
[19:51] I don't know. So I initially thought that, and I was like, oh my God, that is so tragic. A possum to die during childbirth. That is crazy. But then when I found a little rehabber, she was like, no, this baby is multiple weeks old because they're born without hair.
Speaker 2:
[20:10] Yeah. Oh yeah, they are. Maybe it died from, it could have eaten something poisonous.
Speaker 1:
[20:15] Possibly so. So then I take care of this little possum, I find a box, I get it a stuffed animal and I'm like, okay, what are we going to do with this thing? So, I find a rehabber, okay, I find a rehabber. I take this possum with me to a patio, okay, like a restaurant patio, and it's just chilling in this box with this stuffed animal. My ex-husband comes up there, brings Jackson, they're playing with the possum. I've been getting updates on this possum literally every single day. We named her Opie.
Speaker 2:
[20:54] You know, people have possums as pets, right? Like they can't-
Speaker 1:
[20:57] I know, like I want to get her back.
Speaker 2:
[21:00] Oh my God.
Speaker 1:
[21:01] Look at her. She's just vibing.
Speaker 2:
[21:04] She's thriving because of you. You brought life to that possum.
Speaker 1:
[21:08] I almost lost mine and then brought life the next day.
Speaker 2:
[21:13] God works in mysterious ways.
Speaker 1:
[21:15] Mysterious ways, baby. So then we get her to this rehab place, and I'm getting all the updates on Opie. Well, the next day, I'm like, my car really needs to be washed. So take my car to the car wash. I'm sitting in, I do like hand washes, and it's like a full service car wash place. Sitting there, minding my own business, drinking on a lawny, and the little car wash guy comes in and he goes, hey, are you the one that owns this type of vehicle? And I said, yes, sir. And he goes, well, I think we wrecked it. I said, excuse me? Like, I can't take anymore. Like, my life is in the shitter, okay? Yeah. Oh no, they wrecked my car. No way. I'm looking for the photo. Look, this was sitting in my front seat of my car when I get in. Just the part from where they wrecked it.
Speaker 2:
[22:09] What happened? Like-
Speaker 1:
[22:11] I filed a, well, they filled out an incident report. They were trying to get me to leave, but like with everything that was already going on, I probably would have normally left the car wash without the incident report, but with all of the happenings, I was like, no, I'm leaving with that incident report, and y'all need to sign that y'all broke my car. Like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2:
[22:32] What are the chances of that?
Speaker 1:
[22:34] Right? And I'm like, God's really trying, like, he's trying to do something.
Speaker 2:
[22:39] Yeah. I'm proud of you for not losing it.
Speaker 1:
[22:41] Oh, I didn't lose it. At that point, I think I was so emotionally done, that, like, anything could have happened and it would not have mattered.
Speaker 2:
[22:51] Fair. Fair.
Speaker 1:
[22:53] So today, I woke up, chose absolute violence on this house and stripped every bed, even ones that people didn't sleep in.
Speaker 2:
[23:00] And now you're back to your cleaning the house.
Speaker 1:
[23:04] I'm back to my cleaning the house days. What kind of neato would you like?
Speaker 2:
[23:10] I don't know. You see me playing with this fidget? What a transition. I didn't know there were different kinds.
Speaker 1:
[23:20] Wait, you didn't know that there was different kinds of neato? What kind did you play with? A cube?
Speaker 2:
[23:24] Yeah, a cube.
Speaker 1:
[23:25] A cube? Oh, no. There's a lot. Kail and I have a jellyfish. There's cats.
Speaker 2:
[23:33] I feel like I like the cube because I like to try to make it square sometimes.
Speaker 1:
[23:36] Yeah, see, I get, did you like hyperfixate on it?
Speaker 2:
[23:40] Yeah, I was like putting it on things and like, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[23:43] Who would have ever thunk it that we would have been this old playing with neatos?
Speaker 2:
[23:47] You know, not me. I'm also a little sad that I missed you in Delaware. Like our days didn't overlap at all.
Speaker 1:
[23:55] Well, Kail had actually asked me prior to leaving if I wanted to extend my trip, and it probably would have prevented some happenings if I would have, and I would have been able to see you.
Speaker 2:
[24:09] You know, that I think sounds like karma to me.
Speaker 1:
[24:14] That's not funny, Becky. It's too soon. You know?
Speaker 2:
[24:17] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[24:18] You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:
[24:19] Will I see you anytime soon?
Speaker 1:
[24:21] Well, do you want to go to the Webbies?
Speaker 2:
[24:23] When is it?
Speaker 1:
[24:24] May 11th.
Speaker 2:
[24:25] May 11th.
Speaker 1:
[24:27] Cause you could technically be my date since Kail has a date and I no longer have one.
Speaker 2:
[24:32] Can't go. We'll be in Charleston.
Speaker 1:
[24:35] What are you doing in Charleston?
Speaker 2:
[24:37] What?
Speaker 1:
[24:37] What are you doing in Charleston?
Speaker 2:
[24:39] Did I not tell you my Mother's Day plans?
Speaker 1:
[24:42] Oh yeah, you did. Sorry, the house cleaners are coming in, so you're going to hear a squeaky door.
Speaker 2:
[24:50] I'm going on my bar crawl for Mother's Day and I'm ending in Charleston and then spending a couple days there.
Speaker 1:
[24:56] That's just really wild work. I know I already said it, but a bar crawl on Mother's Day?
Speaker 2:
[25:02] In three different states.
Speaker 1:
[25:03] Is that just like a lesbian thing?
Speaker 2:
[25:06] Um, I actually don't think it's a lesbian. Look at this pimple. Oh my God. Um, I don't think it's a lesbian thing at all, actually. I don't know if there's going to be another lesbian there.
Speaker 1:
[25:16] Oh, really?
Speaker 2:
[25:17] Yeah, I think it's like, um, I don't know. We'll see what kind of people are there. I've never done it.
Speaker 1:
[25:22] Lesbian stuff is so interesting to me. Just like the thoughts of going to a bar and just like crawling through multiple bars on Mother's Day. My idea of Mother's Day, and I know that this is like a very taboo topic. Some people, like some moms, want like self-care and they don't want to hang out with their kids on Mother's Day.
Speaker 2:
[25:41] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[25:42] I get it, but like I could never be it.
Speaker 2:
[25:45] That's Leah. Yeah. Leah's like, mother's day doesn't make sense to me without spending it with Bex. And I was like, okay.
Speaker 1:
[25:54] That's what made me a mother. So like, I wouldn't be celebrating this holiday otherwise. So why are we, you know?
Speaker 2:
[26:02] Yeah. Fair. Fair opinion.
Speaker 1:
[26:05] So is Bex just going to be strapped to you walking through these bars?
Speaker 2:
[26:09] Bex is not going to be with me. He's going to be with Leah, who's going to be in Charleston waiting for us. And then we have a little vacation time down there.
Speaker 1:
[26:17] I feel like that's all we will do.
Speaker 2:
[26:19] It's a what?
Speaker 1:
[26:20] Go on vacation.
Speaker 2:
[26:23] I work hard to enjoy life. We yeah, we're going to be in Charleston for a couple of days. She's going to be down there. It's a bar. The bar crawls in three states. So we start in New York, go to into Tennessee and Nashville and then end in Charleston. So I have three, two flights that day.
Speaker 1:
[26:42] Just to go to this bar.
Speaker 2:
[26:44] Yeah. You have to go to three of their locations and all three locations are in different states.
Speaker 1:
[26:50] Oh, see. No, that would be a no for me.
Speaker 2:
[26:54] I wouldn't expect it to be a yes for you.
Speaker 1:
[26:57] I'm trying to board flights to go on a work obligation, let alone for luxury.
Speaker 2:
[27:01] You know how many flights I have booked for already this year?
Speaker 1:
[27:06] No.
Speaker 2:
[27:06] But I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Speaker 1:
[27:16] Who books flights that much in advance?
Speaker 2:
[27:19] Me. I haven't booked London yet. Actually, that's it. London I need to book. But Leah and I are going to Michigan for 4th of July weekend, to Lake Michigan. Bex's donor invited us to spend 4th of July weekend with him and his family on their lake house. So cool.
Speaker 1:
[27:41] So cool.
Speaker 2:
[27:42] So Bex will get to meet Matt's whole family. So his sisters, his brother, his parents are gonna be there. So Bex gets to meet the whole donor crew.
Speaker 1:
[27:55] All right, we're gonna take a quick break to talk about Brodo bone broth because I have become obsessed. And if you have ever tried bone broth and hated the taste, then you are like me and you don't want to ever have bone broth, but Brodo is so good. It is truly the best bone broth that I have ever tasted. We've been using it in my meal prep every single week. And if you've been on social media lately, I'm sure that you've probably heard people talking about the importance of gut health, but how do you actually get better gut health? And that is Brodo's bone broth. If you care about your gut health, protein, and real whole foods, this next sponsor might be the easiest habit that you can add to your day. And it certainly has been the easiest habit that I've added to my week. This podcast is sponsored by Brodo. Brodo's bone broth is the simplest nutrition upgrade that you can make to your daily routine. Their broths are made from scratch, so no concentrates, preservatives or shortcuts. So you get the best broth money can buy. I'm also a big packaging fan, and their packaging is absolutely phenomenal. Each cup of Brodo delivers about 10 grams of whole food protein, along with collagen building amino acids, electrolytes and nutrients to support gut health, immunity, joints, skin, and just general wellness, all under 50 calories and with zero sugar or fat. I'm gonna recommend you guys trying their sampler pack so you can figure out for yourself what flavor is best for you. There is not one that I have tried that I do not like. So this is your sign to shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo. Head to brodo.com/t for 20% off your first subscription order and use code T for an additional $10 off. Once again, that's brodo.com/t for 20% off your first subscription order and an additional $10 off if you use my promo code T. Tons of parents say, I didn't plan on formula and most don't. I was one of those and yet 74% of families turn to it at some point in their feeding journey. As a new parent, I know that you're already exhausted and nervous and having to decode long ingredient lists or blindly distrusting brands without much transparency. It does feel like a lot and parents should not have to bend over backwards to understand what they're feeding their newborn. And that's where Little Spoon stands out. They're explicit about what's in their organic grass fed whole milk infant formula, how it's sourced and how each batch is safety tested. And to back it up, they publish their testing result right on their site. But the best part is once you're through the formula stage, you don't have to scramble all over again. Little Spoon is built to be a feeding partner from day one with expert crafted recipes for babies, toddlers and big kids, pediatrician back guidance and a community of parents just like you. It's nutrition for every stage of babies plus kids development already thought through and delivered to your door. When Peace of Mind shows up like that, it's worth holding on to. Seriously, I could not recommend Little Spoon more. When your baby is ready for the next stage, Little Spoon has it. From your baby's first cereal to their first puree or finger food, Little Spoon has a full feeding system from day one. If formula is part of your feeding journey right now, Little Spoon makes that choice feel less heavy. Their organic grass-fed whole milk infant formula is a complete nutrition recipe modeled after breast milk, and everything is openly shared on littlespoon.com. From sourcing to ingredients to safety testing, try Little Spoon formula with your two-can trial pack. Buy one, get one free. That's $30 for two cans, which is so great if you're easing into the transition. That's littlespoon.com/tryformula. Wait, can I ask you this? He's met Bex before, right?
Speaker 2:
[31:38] He did when Bex was two months old.
Speaker 1:
[31:40] What was that interaction like? Was there any type of biological?
Speaker 2:
[31:45] I think so. Bex smiled at him. His first true smiles were when Matt was holding him.
Speaker 1:
[31:53] Really?
Speaker 2:
[31:54] Yeah. I think there was probably just this known connection. But it's such a unique situation. It's not for everyone. Matt and his husband are both in the process of building their family, so they understand the complexities behind building a family in this unique way. We talked to Matt weekly, if not a couple of times a week. He's our friend. We love him.
Speaker 1:
[32:21] That's so cool. I was on the phone with Madison the other day, and I was going through the Chick-fil-A drive-through, trying to get me a little crispy Coke. I said, I feel so bad that I have not responded to Becky, but if you saw what my phone looks like.
Speaker 2:
[32:37] I don't take that personally.
Speaker 1:
[32:39] I said, oh my God, and I don't want her to be upset because we can't record today, but I'm literally just not well, and she was like, oh, Becky has some stuff going on too. She might be moving, and I said, moving? What?
Speaker 2:
[32:53] You know, just normal things over here.
Speaker 1:
[32:56] Just casually moving.
Speaker 2:
[32:58] First of all, I would never be offended if you did, unless I was reaching out in an I need help way. Like, I really, I need, like, if I was, like, entrusting in you to, like, help me. But even at that point, like, I, after becoming a mom and just, like, people have their own shit. So, but I wanted to make sure, like, I kept texting you, not asking questions. I just wanted you to make sure that, like, I was just sending love. Like, I was thinking about you, letting you know if you did need anything, obviously, here. Um, yeah, moving, uh, there's, yeah, just a bunch of shit going on over here. Being a parent's really hard. We've been dealing with some, like, uh, I don't want to say complications, but just some things with Bex, his head is really big, and so the doctor was concerned about, like, the size of his head. So we actually today had to go get, um, ultrasound and scans on his head, just to make sure that everything was okay. And so last week, I was not, like, no one prepares you for, like, medical complications of a child, and like, and then I go into this spiral of guilt of people that have, like, confirmed medical complications, and I'm like, how, like, how? Like, my chest was, has been just, like, so heavy and just overwhelmed with it all, but I think it's going to be all right. I think he just has a big head.
Speaker 1:
[34:27] He's got a big noggin. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[34:29] Yeah. We have to meet with a peds neuro to just confirm everything, but developmentally, like, the kid is 10 out of 10, right? Like, he has no, there's no signs of complications, so it's, that's, like, less concerning.
Speaker 1:
[34:43] I mean, when I see videos of him, I feel like he's so, like, advanced.
Speaker 2:
[34:46] Yeah, I feel like that too.
Speaker 1:
[34:50] It's so cute. So wait, how did the moving, like, come about in one week of time that I didn't talk to you?
Speaker 2:
[34:59] It has been a conversation that has been happening. So for those of you that know, Leah and I, Leah's dad owns a house that we live in. It's been passed down in their family. It's a beautiful home. It is a 5,000-square-foot house on 20 acres, has a pool. It feels like a resort. It is the most beautiful house and property you would ever want in your entire life. But having that size of things comes with a lot of upkeep, comes with a lot of maintenance and overhead. And recently, with welcoming Bex into our lives, our priorities have kind of shifted, and Leah wants to work less. And so with her wanting to work less, we need to just downsize. And not even from a financial, also from just consuming position. We only use half of our house. So why do we need this much house as well? So it has been a lot of conversations the past, I would say, a year or since. And then her electric bill has been $1,100 for the past five months. And so-
Speaker 1:
[36:11] You're the second person that told me about their electric bill being that high.
Speaker 2:
[36:16] And it's just like a lot, like I don't want, like you see we travel all the time. I don't want to not be able to do that because we have an $1,100 electric bill, right? So I'm not happy about it because I spent six months renovating this house with my blood, sweat and tears. It's really sad. I'm like grieving it. But I know that ultimately for our family, it's the best decision. So we'll be moving probably in a couple months.
Speaker 1:
[36:45] Were you guys, are you looking yet or?
Speaker 2:
[36:48] So Leah's dad has another house he bought last year that he wanted us to move into and we said no. And then so that's the house that we're going to be going into. We just need to do some renovations and stuff over there.
Speaker 1:
[37:02] So did you do all of the renovations yourself like HGTV style?
Speaker 2:
[37:07] Yeah, I would say like 75% of them I did. Yeah, I didn't do the floor just cause the house was so big. That would have been a really large, but like I demoed, yeah, I did a lot of it.
Speaker 1:
[37:19] Like how did you just decide you're gonna get like a tool belt? Like at what point? Yeah, fair question.
Speaker 2:
[37:27] I am really bad. One of my worst qualities is I'm super impatient. So like if I ask for something and like, I don't get a response or I like don't get help, I'm going to teach myself how to do it because I need to have that satisfaction and gratitude like right away. So when we started renovating, I would be calling contractors, people wouldn't show up and it was so hard to get workers here. So I was like, fuck it. Like, I'll just do it. And so I taught myself a lot. I can do like basic plumbing, right? Like installing a toilet.
Speaker 1:
[38:00] Toilet was crazy.
Speaker 2:
[38:02] But like basic, right? Like toilet, sink, stuff like that. I don't do electric just because I value my life and I don't want to like touch the wrong thing and like burn down a house and further. But yeah, like other, mostly everything else I could do.
Speaker 1:
[38:21] That's insane. Like you're basically a general contractor.
Speaker 2:
[38:25] Basically, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[38:26] General contractor, Becky, coming right up.
Speaker 2:
[38:30] I've logged myself building this office out and so there's all that up on my socials.
Speaker 1:
[38:36] And you know, here I am, I can't even remember to take my trash to the road on Tuesdays.
Speaker 2:
[38:41] Well, Lindsie, you know, you are consumed by a lot in life and we are here for whatever journey is next and maybe that consists of remembering to take your trash out.
Speaker 1:
[38:55] I might be a possum owner next because the way I want Opie back so bad, oh my god, so we just had like a Sunday, fun day at my house and did some meal prep and then like some of my other friends came over and we ordered pizzas. Have you ever had heartburn in your life?
Speaker 2:
[39:12] I haven't. Okay.
Speaker 1:
[39:14] Well, I've had it a lot.
Speaker 2:
[39:15] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[39:16] Got into that pizza and my chest started getting tight and I'm like, okay, this could be like one of a couple of things. I could be reaching the anxiety or panic attack that I should have already had. I could possibly be having a heart attack or this could just be heartburn. When I tell you it hurt and burned me from my chest, all the way down the right side of my abdomen, I was like hunched over and Jackson's like, wait, mom, what's going on? I'm like, I need to stretch out. On the floor, I need to stretch out. I am so tight. One of my friends goes to the store and gets me some, what do they call that stuff, heartburn prevention. Heartburn prevention. Did that help? Took one of those bad boys and it absolutely did help. But then Jackson rode with my friend to the store and he was like, what would happen if my mom died and I was there by myself? He was like, can she die from what she's going through right now? He was like, no. She just has heartburn. It's basically like a stomach ache in your heart. He's like, yeah, but what would happen if my mom died and nobody was there and it was just me there, what would I do?
Speaker 2:
[40:34] I mean, fair question.
Speaker 1:
[40:36] Right?
Speaker 2:
[40:37] Did your friend give him a good answer?
Speaker 1:
[40:40] Yeah, he said that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:
[40:44] You should use that time to educate. You call 911.
Speaker 1:
[40:49] Oh, wait. Okay. What's so cute about little kids? So Jackson used to be like, I'm going to call 911. And I'm like, you go ahead and call 911.
Speaker 2:
[41:00] Cause nobody's going to answer.
Speaker 1:
[41:05] He would get in trouble at like free school. And he'd be like, I'm going to have to call 911. It's like, go for it, buddy.
Speaker 2:
[41:16] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[41:16] Like, what the actual hell? So then I'm going through that and I'm like, can this heartburn just like subside? I look over in my sink and in the midst of my heartburn attack, Jackson has emptied out every neato that he has in his house. And I'm not even kidding you. It's like 95. And they're all in the sink. Cause he also doesn't have paper towels. Me. And I need to know if this happens to anybody else. But I feel like when I run out of like paper products, it's all at the same time.
Speaker 2:
[41:49] You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:
[41:50] Like the toilet paper, the paper towels, trash bags, like all of that stuff. And maybe, am I just like doing life wrong?
Speaker 2:
[41:58] Couldn't tell you. Leah takes care of that aspect of life. So.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[45:31] Are you? I don't know. I couldn't imagine. We were talking about would you rather, never mind, I'm not going to ask that.
Speaker 1:
[45:42] Would you rather what?
Speaker 2:
[45:44] Would you rather be single for the rest of your life or with your ex?
Speaker 1:
[45:51] With one of your exes.
Speaker 2:
[45:53] But it makes me physically uncomfortable to think about being single.
Speaker 1:
[46:00] Wait, can we talk about that more?
Speaker 2:
[46:01] Sure. I also have a couple of other questions to ask you. Yeah, I'm like a habitual dater. Since I started dating girls, I've been single probably a month at max, and that's at like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1:
[46:23] Probably that.
Speaker 2:
[46:24] Yeah. I don't do well by myself.
Speaker 1:
[46:27] See, I feel like because the general public thinks, oh, Lindsie's had three boyfriends since she got divorced. That was also four years ago. People don't really put the-
Speaker 2:
[46:43] Timelines together?
Speaker 1:
[46:44] Timeline of everything together. These also were, I mean, I wouldn't say long term, but like more long term relationships. So one of them was a year and the other two were two years.
Speaker 2:
[46:59] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[46:59] And now I feel like my life's just over. Like I just wasted two years of my life.
Speaker 2:
[47:04] No, I think, you know, I don't know if, I don't know if you would have been ready for a healthy relationship. And I think that moving forward, we are, we are getting there. Healthier, healthier you, healthier relationships. The first time we recorded, I said, I said something along those lines too.
Speaker 1:
[47:25] I have this whole different mindset though. I'm like, okay, I'm not really worried about looks anymore. I'm not really worried about somebody to have just fun with. Like I need to like think about like bigger things in life.
Speaker 2:
[47:41] You need to think about you as well. I'm not saying like I'm a habitual dater. I'll never shade someone for jumping into relationships, but you need to think about your own craziness too, that you need to heal.
Speaker 1:
[47:55] Oh, 1000%. When I was talking to my therapist, I said, I am in no way, shape or form in a position to like really offer anybody anything right now, because I can't even offer certain things to myself. So if I can't fill it for myself, how am I ever going to do that for anybody else?
Speaker 2:
[48:15] Yeah. It takes a certain kind of person to heal someone that's been in a toxic relationship, because I had been in toxic relationships before I met Leah, and she was like my punching bag of getting through those cycles that I needed to out learn from my exes. So there's not many people that can withstand that and that don't turn into toxic people themselves. So there's someone out there and we'll find that person, but.
Speaker 1:
[48:50] It's just not a priority.
Speaker 2:
[48:51] For sure.
Speaker 1:
[48:52] There's so much that's on my plate that I'm like the thoughts of that at all is just not appealing.
Speaker 2:
[48:59] Now we're healing Lindsie right now.
Speaker 1:
[49:01] What's very appealing to me is that now my focus can fully be just on my kid, on my personal life with the friendships that are healthy for me. And I probably need to go on a.
Speaker 2:
[49:16] Ayahuasca trip. Yes.
Speaker 1:
[49:19] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[49:20] I really hope you do. I think that would be really good for you.
Speaker 1:
[49:24] Right. But then I like vlog it, but I'm like, that's not the point.
Speaker 2:
[49:28] No, you can't vlog it. You can write after, like you can film your like, this is this is what happened.
Speaker 1:
[49:35] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[49:36] Or like just take some B-roll while you're there. But then or like do like maybe nightly vlog, like journals that you could use from it to speak through your experience of it. But I think it could be really good for you.
Speaker 1:
[49:51] How long do you go on these things?
Speaker 2:
[49:53] There's all different kinds. So like you could do just a weekend retreat or a week retreat.
Speaker 1:
[49:59] Oh, honey, weekend would not even touch the surface of what we've got going on over here. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[50:04] So maybe a week, maybe a month.
Speaker 1:
[50:08] Wait for questions that you have for me.
Speaker 2:
[50:10] Oh, so Lee and I are in, I think, a turning point of our relationship. I think the past year has been really hard for us as a couple because of becoming parents and just like navigating this as a whole. I never expected to have like having a kid to disrupt my life as much as it has, and I've never expected having a kid to disrupt my relationship as much as it has. And so I think one of the hard parts, and I was explaining this to Leah was like, for the past, Lee and I will have been together for 10 years this year and for the past nine years, let's say, or eight years because the first two years of our relationship were iffy. My entire identity was consumed by my love for Leah and her love for me and how amazing and beautiful our relationship was. And so for this past year, that's like been stripped from me because our relationship isn't our priority. It's literally just getting through becoming a parent. And so that's been really difficult, like for me to just navigate. Do you feel like when you became a parent, that your relationship struggled a lot with it when you were-
Speaker 1:
[51:29] I had that exact same experience actually. I feel like there was just a lot of life things that he and I had been through in such a small period of time and the difference between us would be, y'all been married for a while and then had a kid. We were only married. We hadn't even celebrated our first anniversary and had our child.
Speaker 2:
[51:55] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[51:56] So I do contribute some of it a little bit to that, but it's so hard and I do feel like it's so relatable that when you're dating, you are each other's world. All of the focus is on that other person. Will hung the moon in my eyes, right? Then when I had Jackson, it was immediately, I gave birth to that child and my whole focus shift.
Speaker 2:
[52:27] Yeah. It's hard. It's like a really, I don't blame Leah for that mindset shift at all. I understand the challenges and the changes, your body changes, your emotions, your everything changes. Even like, if Leah was put in a situation of saving me or Bex, I know that she would choose him. But if I was in that situation, there's no one I would put above her. I don't care if I have 10 kids. That's just not how I feel. That is my person. I could not live my life without her. It puts so many unique situations into a relationship, and we've been struggling a lot through it. We recently have been having really good conversations around, it's been almost a year now, it'll actually be a year in June, and asking her what more she needs from me, me telling her what more I need from her. Because if we continued down the path that we were going down, there's no way that it would work. There's just no way it's sustainable.
Speaker 1:
[53:40] I'm glad we're having that conversation, though.
Speaker 2:
[53:43] Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:
[53:43] That's important, because Will and I didn't, it was kind of like, this is just the way that life changes whenever you have kids, and I think that we both silently accepted it, right? And we weren't having those conversations, which ended up inevitably creating bigger marriage problems because it was unresolved and it became resentment.
Speaker 2:
[54:06] Yeah, and that's exactly the words I used to Leah. I was like, I'm really afraid if we don't deal with this now that we're going to reach a point that we can't come back from. And like, that's not the life that I want to be living with you. And so we had really good conversations and I think like I can like feel the difference already, but I can't believe more like how many people make it through having a kid. Just like being, it's, it is so hard, like being a being a parent is not hard. Loving Bex and be like wanting to give him a good life is not hard. I just feel like when you have a relationship to mourn, it makes it so much harder. Like some people are having kids with in toxic relationships or relationships that aren't really happy to begin with. And so like, maybe those are easier to withstand, like the disruption because you're just used to the chaos. But when you have like, I had zero complaints about our relationship, right? Like it was the most beautiful thing that I could have dreamed of. And so when you have that, you're just like mourning so much of like, of it.
Speaker 1:
[55:21] And it's almost like you are preparing for it to some degree over the nine months. For sure.
Speaker 2:
[55:29] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[55:30] You know, like there's going to be change and it's inevitable there's going to be change. Thanks to HomeServe for sponsoring this episode. Home ownership is absolutely amazing until it's not. One minute you feel like you're sipping coffee and the next you are ankle deep in water from a burst pipe and repairs do not care about timing. And they definitely do not care about your budget. Trust me. I have been there. And I wish when I've gone through some of these issues, I knew about HomeServe at that time. It would have been so helpful. Regular homeowners insurance usually does not cover a lot of the day to day wear and tear. So we're talking plumbing failures, HVAC breakdowns, electrical issues. You're often on your own for those. And that's where HomeServe comes in. It is basically like a subscription for your home for as little as $4.99 a month. And they've got your back. Like I said, repairs hit fast and they hit hard. And you could be searching for a contractor in a panic, or you could already be on the phone with HomeServe's 24-7 hotline scheduling a repair. It is super simple. You just choose a plan for your needs and your budget. And when something on your plan goes wrong, you just call their 24-7 hotline to start the repair process. They've been able to help homeowners like you for over 20 years with a trusted national network of 2,600 local contractors. I have literally had a washing machine come through my ceiling. I have had burst pipe issues. And I now love that I know about HomeServe. It is going to definitely come in handy with me being a single mom. You guys can help protect your home systems and your wallet with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to homeserve.com and find the plan that is right for you. That's homeserve.com. Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month. And if you're first-year, terms apply on covered repairs. All right, y'all, let's take a quick break to talk about Momentous. I know that most people think fiber is just about staying regular, and that's what I actually thought too. But fiber actually plays a major role in energy stability, recovery, focus, and overall performance. And once you understand how gut health works, Momentous Fiber Plus stops feeling like just another supplement and starts feeling foundational. Momentous Fiber Plus addresses one of the most overlooked foundations of long-term performance, gut health. And fiber is not just about digestion. It is a key driver of gut health, which directly impacts nutrient absorption, energy stability, recovery, focus, mood, and overall performance. And when gut health is not dialed in, other supplements and training habits don't work as well. So you could be doing everything else right, but without a strong foundation, results do fall short. And fiber is oftentimes one of the missing links. That's why Momentous believes in a relentless commitment to fundamentals and doing them differently than they have ever been done. Fiber Plus is built to support the entire gut health process, not just one piece of it. Momentous Fiber Plus is a complete three-in-one formula with soluble fiber, insoluble fiber, and prebiotic resistant starch. This combination is designed to support gut health from start to finish by feeding beneficial gut bacteria, improving digestion and helping stabilize blood sugar for steady energy without the spikes or crashes. If you guys are interested in giving Momentous a try, right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code SOUTHERNTEE. Head to livemomentous.com and use promo code SOUTHERNTEE for up to 35% off your first order. That's livemomentous.com promo code SOUTHERNTEE. I think the problem is, is nobody really prepares you for what that change looks like until you feel it.
Speaker 2:
[59:10] Literally.
Speaker 1:
[59:11] It's an experience you have to go through on your own. I have said to Will so many times, I said, I think the reason that Will and I can be such good friends is because we lost each other in having a kid. When we finally just called it quits and divorced, our friendship never left. It was just the physical relationship, the romantic relationship. That's what left. And so I think people all the time think, oh, wow, they have the craziest, like wildest, why aren't they together type situation. Now Jackson's 13 and you're so right. Like it's not hard to be a parent. What's hard is navigating the relational aspects within your home and where everybody kind of fits.
Speaker 2:
[60:03] A thousand percent and you can't prepare. It's nothing you can prepare for, right? Well, I guess from a communicate, like being open with communication, but even then like, you know, Leah and I up, it's been nine, 10 months and we haven't, we kind of just accepted it for so long. Like this is our new normal. And then finally I was like, this isn't my new normal. Like, this is not like, this is like, I'm, I'm not happy living like this. Like I, things need to change.
Speaker 1:
[60:34] Well, I mean, just think about it. When you bring a child into the world and you want to raise them properly, your whole focus shifts within one day essentially, you know, and it's like, okay, where you used to be able to just kind of like pick up and go with Leah and do whatever you want. Like, okay, now we have bedtime, dinnertime, all the things. And then by the time you get to your bedtime, you're so exhausted that you don't even want to touch each other.
Speaker 2:
[61:03] Yeah, literally.
Speaker 1:
[61:05] Am I right? No, for sure.
Speaker 2:
[61:06] 100%. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[61:08] And it's like, okay, we haven't had sex in three weeks at this point. It's like, is this what marriage is?
Speaker 2:
[61:15] Yeah. And like, I'm not like really a... And we both have different needs, but we both show love and receive love in different ways. And so that was like a part of our conversation. Like, I'm a physical touch person, so you removed that from my life and like, like everything around me is falling apart. And not even in like a, like having sex way, like it could just be in like getting a hug, like having any type of physical contact, right? And so-
Speaker 1:
[61:45] But there is something so true, and I was talking to one of my girlfriends about this the other day. She has a little one and she said, I am just, my relationship with my husband is in the absolute shitter.
Speaker 2:
[61:57] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[61:58] And I said, well, what's going on? And she was talking about the way that people show love and how he always wants to be touched and be touching. And she said, I am outtouched. Like by the end of the day, I don't want to be touched anymore by anything else.
Speaker 2:
[62:17] It's hard.
Speaker 1:
[62:18] I can relate to that so much. I went through that when I had Jackson. I'm like, we'll actually get on the other side of the bed and I'm putting a pillow barricade to make sure that your feet don't even creep over here.
Speaker 2:
[62:30] Dude, I would die if my foot didn't touch Leah at night. Like it affects me. It like literally drains the happiness from my body. But so I, yeah. And Leah's like that. Leah's not really like, she is an acts of service, but like recently she's been trying to give me love through acts of service. That's not how I receive love. And then she feels overwhelmed by doing too, like she feels like she's doing too much and I'm not doing enough. So it's a compromise on both sides. So luckily we've had the conversation. I'm not fearing divorce anymore.
Speaker 1:
[63:02] But that's a scary road, honey. When you start traveling it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[63:08] And because I like, you know, I like I think back because we got married not that long ago. And I think back to our wedding day and just like how beautiful that day was and how much love there was and all the things.
Speaker 1:
[63:24] It was like your dream. Yeah. You know, yeah, all of a sudden you're just like thrown into thick of parenting and you're like smashing up peas and you're like, what the fuck have I done?
Speaker 2:
[63:37] And that's also what I said. I'm like, I do not resent having it. I don't, I'm not like, I don't wish we didn't have a kid. I don't resent him right now. But if things keep going the way that they are, I fear that I'm going to resent, start resenting him soon because he receives your love and I do not. And like, I cannot live with that.
Speaker 1:
[63:59] I will never forget when Will and I started having the divorce conversations. And I look back on it now and I'm like, we definitely should have divorced regardless of, you know, what comes in my life in the future. He and I needed to divorce because stuff had gotten so heavy and so unresolved for such a long period of time. That it's like, once you finally try to address it, there's no walking that back. Like, the resentment's there. Two people don't like each other.
Speaker 2:
[64:29] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[64:29] Get away from me. Your toes better not touch me. And I will never forget Will saying, you chose him over me.
Speaker 2:
[64:39] Yes, sir.
Speaker 1:
[64:40] Yes, sir.
Speaker 2:
[64:41] There's, there has to be, there has to be compromise. That's the only way to move forward with having a kid. There has to be a little compromise.
Speaker 1:
[64:50] Do you feel like all of Lea's love goes to Bex?
Speaker 2:
[64:55] All of, so the thing is, is that if Lea takes care of me, she takes care of like things in the house, like the house runs because of her. But like, I think her physical attention goes to him. And that's what like, that's what matters to me the most. And so like in our conversation, I'm like, I will take over everything just to get you to like lay with me for 10 minutes a day, right? Like, you know, like that's the way.
Speaker 1:
[65:24] I relate to this so much. It would be like, Will, you're a psychopath, like.
Speaker 2:
[65:29] But, but I will like, and after our conversation, I started doing little like things, like I'm gonna take over doing like dinners and groceries. I've been like, switching laundry intently. And from doing those things, she wants to love me more, right? Like, like it makes her feel more attracted to me when I'm taking things off her plate. So that's why I'm-
Speaker 1:
[65:52] Because you're taking the load. Like the load of being a parent is so heavy already. And then you just add like all of the life obligations that you have to do to just have a functioning household. And then on top of that, dealing with the emotions from yourself and your partner. And also remember that, you know, Bex isn't even a year old. There's like some postpartum stuff that can-
Speaker 2:
[66:15] 100%. I went through IVF twice in the past year as well. I had a miscarriage this year. So like there's just, it's just been like, so my levels of hormone levels have been like all over the place too. But I've been moping, like I've been moping around my house for the past, you know.
Speaker 1:
[66:32] What does that look like? Like what does Becky moping look like?
Speaker 2:
[66:36] Like I'm just like a, like my mood is so consuming. People enjoy being around me because I bring typically like a positive energy. Unfortunately, Leah gets the other side of that, right? So like other people get that positive energy from me, but she gets when I'm upset or like just annoyed, pissed off and I'm just like, and I, I'm visually just like, oh fuck, don't, like talk to her. Like she's pissed. And like Leah gets the brunt of that. I know that. And so like I, these past couple of months and like going, I went through like a really bad depression this past winter too. And so like just going through all of this, I'm like just so over it. I'm like ready. And I-
Speaker 1:
[67:24] That's just a lot of emotionally like things going on. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[67:29] But I'm ready. I'm ready, you know, for what's next. I think I do have like really like think that they're like something has switched. So we're on a better road.
Speaker 1:
[67:40] Are you or Leah passive aggressive?
Speaker 2:
[67:45] I am. She is not. Leah is a sweet angel. Leah like is- Leah's I've never been yelled at by her. I've never been like she means well, always has like my best interest, her own best interest. Sometimes to a fault though, that like she believes in people too much. So, but I am passive aggressive. I can be.
Speaker 1:
[68:08] Oh yeah. Will and I both very passive aggressive people. There would be the moping around the house and no speaking, but just like eye cutting.
Speaker 2:
[68:19] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[68:20] But you like a knife, you know?
Speaker 2:
[68:23] Literally. The other day, I was about to get showering, get ready for work, and she's like, hey, can you put away your clothes whenever you have a chance? It just annoyed me. I was like, fine, I'll do it right now. She's like, that's not what I asked. So, she sent me a picture later that day of our bed. It was only half made. She was like, did you only make your side of the bed because I asked you to put your clothes away?
Speaker 1:
[68:58] Why is this just so relatable? I mean, I can remember on weekends, I would spend all of Sunday or all of Saturday to clean the house and this would be like deep cleaning because Will did not grow up with a house cleaner and his house.
Speaker 2:
[69:15] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[69:16] And in his mind, he's like, well, I didn't grow up having that, so we don't need that. Like, yeah, do this. And I'm like, yeah, but anything that you do is not cleaning wise is not really to the caliber standard of what is going to transpire in this house. So me cleaning all day and he's outside like doing yard work and chores and whatever. And I'm just like, oh, thanks for ruining my house. Like he comes inside and he just stinks from outside. He's got grass clippings all over him. I'm just like, thanks for ruining my house. It's like.
Speaker 2:
[69:51] For what, Lindsie, you know?
Speaker 1:
[69:53] Like for what? Like for what business?
Speaker 2:
[69:56] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[69:56] It's like, he's doing chores, I'm doing chores, but I'm like, my chores are more important than your chores.
Speaker 2:
[70:02] Yeah, you know, relationships are hard.
Speaker 1:
[70:06] Tip for tat.
Speaker 2:
[70:06] Yeah, it's like our, our like productive time is so different too. Like I work nine to five, so I'm always like my productive time is on the weekends. She's shift work, so her productive time could be a random Tuesday. And that makes we've had a like battle with that too, because if I get off work and she's being productive, like I don't want to be productive, but then I feel like a piece of shit just sitting there if she's being productive.
Speaker 1:
[70:34] Exactly.
Speaker 2:
[70:35] But like understanding we can both have our own productive time at different times is big in relationships too, so.
Speaker 1:
[70:42] It's so relatable, like there is nothing worse though than feeling like you're just like a lazy sack of shit and somebody else is doing something and it's like, okay, what can I make myself look like I'm doing, but like I'm not doing? Literally. Am I right?
Speaker 2:
[70:59] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[71:00] It's like, I'm going to pretend like I'm fluffing this pillow over here. Like what in the world?
Speaker 2:
[71:07] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I just want to say, please listen to For The Haters. I just changed up the way that I produced the show. It is so freaking good. Give it a shot. Give it a listen. For The Haters, wherever you find your podcast. That's it.
Speaker 1:
[71:21] I saw some good reviews on that. Yeah, I saw some good, I'm excited for you.
Speaker 2:
[71:26] Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:
[71:27] That's all we have time for today. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app, wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast One. Hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2:
[71:37] Love you, bye. Huzzah!
Speaker 1:
[72:07] Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.
Speaker 3:
[72:11] Do you even know what it's like to have a BFF?
Speaker 2:
[72:13] Because we sure do.
Speaker 1:
[72:14] We both never had sisters growing up, so we just decided to become each other's.
Speaker 3:
[72:18] And some may even say we're a little bit codependent.
Speaker 1:
[72:20] But that's okay, I feel like you should be.
Speaker 2:
[72:23] I'm Halle Kate.
Speaker 3:
[72:24] And I'm Jazz.
Speaker 1:
[72:25] And we figured we were already talking.
Speaker 3:
[72:26] So from talking 24-7, we figured why not have a public hour every single week and start a podcast.
Speaker 1:
[72:32] If you're looking for a podcast that you can listen to while you're getting ready to go out with your girls that feels like you're just on FaceTime, Delusional Diaries is the perfect stream.
Speaker 3:
[72:39] From all of our traveling to getting married to being dog moms, to even our dating stories of the past that still haunt us, there's a little bit of everything.
Speaker 2:
[72:46] So make sure you guys go stream Delusional Diaries anywhere you listen to podcasts every Thursday.