transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:06] This is Cynthia Yanof, and you are listening to the MESSmerized Podcast. Hey friends, welcome to the podcast. Am I the only one that feels like yesterday we were doing New Year's resolutions, and then like tomorrow the kids are out of school? Like the spring is flying. And so I'm just thankful that you guys show up every week. It's not lost on me that life gets busy and hectic. So thanks for tuning in and listening. I wanna put a plug in for May. We are gonna have a fun month of shows all around the topic of motherhood. Different types of mothers, people I know that you don't know, people that you know, all kinds of things. So it's gonna be a fun month, and I want you to join us, and I know life's gonna get busy. So I'm just putting a plug in there a little bit early. I also wanna let you know again that I'm booking speaking engagements for the fall of this year and spring of next year. So if you love your church and your women's ministry, go talk to your women's minister. I'd love to come visit. Maybe you are at a Christian ministry. I've had so many of you reach out for all kinds of different things and I would love to join you if I could make that work. So thank you so much for thinking of me for all the speaking things coming up in your world. And then if you have not read my book, how did I miss that? I would love for you to grab a copy. If you have read it, would you leave a review? And then also as we're going into Mother's Day, it would be a fun gift for your moms or your mom friends. So just jump on Amazon. You can grab it there. How did I miss that? Okay, today, you guys, Sissy and David are on Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and they're on the show quite a bit. I love them so much. They are counselors out of Nashville. And I feel like they're America's counselors now. Like everybody kind of just leans on them, listens to their podcasts, Raising Boys & Girls. They're just amazing. And so they love the Lord. They love our kids and they love talking parenting. Today, we're going to talk about their new book out called Capable, How to Teach Your Kids Strengths, Skills and Strategies to Build Resilience. And yeah, we're talking about, what does it look like to build resilience in our kids? And capability and sturdiness and all the things our kids desperately need. So today's a fun show. There are always lots of fun and very informative. So tune in, here we go. Let's kick it off with Sissy and David. Good morning, David and Sissy, how are you?

Speaker 2:
[02:28] Oh, better for seeing your face and getting to have a conversation with you, friend.

Speaker 3:
[02:33] Well, always better when we are in your company.

Speaker 1:
[02:36] You say that guys, but here we are and it's Monday morning and you don't ever quite know what I'm going to say. And so, and staying with my usual fashion, I'm going to start you off with something that I feel like you should know. First of all, in my second book that's coming out, I said that y'all are like my parenting mentors and that you surely didn't sign up for it. You don't know it. And I thought like that was a compliment until I'm going to tell you a story. And then I think maybe I did you a disservice because if you're my parenting mentor and this is going on over here, you're going to be like, oh, I wonder. So let me tell you a quick story and then we're going to get to the point. Okay. Recently, with my youngest, remember I have two, one in college, well, two in college and then I have a little one we adopted from foster care. And he's nine. And he now has the second floor of our house to himself because the last one, the middle one went to college. He doesn't want to stay in bed. So he gets out and he roams, goes through everybody's room at night. He has like a whole party up there. And so we've been saying like, do not get out of your bed. So a few weeks ago, I mean, Mike had tucked him in everything in two minutes, screaming, crying up there. I'm like, what is going on? I'm like, what? And so I bolt up there and he's sitting on the floor and he has like a wash rag like in his mouth and on his face he's screaming. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, it's the pepper, it's the peppermint. I'm like, the peppermint? And I'm like, what did you get? And he's like, I can't tell you, you're gonna be mad. I'm like, well, I'm already mad cause you got out of bed. So let's carry on. And so finally I'm coercing him, he's screaming. He takes me into a sister's room and he points to something that I realized the peppermint was actually pepper spray. He maced the 2nd floor of her house. And when I tell you, I was in Too Far, guys, to realize what had happened. And all of a sudden I'm coughing and choking and my eyes are watering. And I'm like, you maced us! You maced us! So he's screaming and crying. I'm like going nuts. And so my husband's coming up the stairs like, what's going on? And so I'm like, JB maced the 2nd floor. And he's like, what? And so he is the calm one, guys. Okay. And he takes JB immediately to the shower and is like spraying him off. And he has lots of curly kind of afro hair. And so he's getting, and I'm over there like using makeup wipes and baby wipes trying to clear my skin off. Okay. About that time he gets out of the shower and Mike's getting his hair dried off. And I guess there was a bunch of it in his hair and it gets up in Mike's face. And I'm not even lying, you guys, Mike starts vomiting. Okay. And the whole time, do you know what? I'm screaming the whole time. Don't you ever get out of bed again. This is what happens when you get out of bed. And I tell you this first child, you guys know this, right? First child, you're on your way to the ER. Second child, you're calling poison control. At least third child, you're just screaming at him. That's why you don't get out of bed. That's you guys. He makes himself. And I found out later, everybody in his defense, if he ever hears this one day, which he won't, but we laugh about it. He knows. His sister told him it was pepper spray. Don't ever touch it. I don't know why it's in her drawer, in her room and not at college, but you tell him don't touch it. He's like, well, it must be something good. And he thought it was like peppermint spray. And there you go. That's your Monday morning reminder of why you, what you do matters. Because people like me, like we're screwing this generation up, okay? Bad things happening and that's where we are. That's the state of the union. So good morning, everyone.

Speaker 3:
[06:20] And that story is a perfect picture of why we wish we could begin every day with you, Cynthia.

Speaker 1:
[06:26] I mean, it's a perfect story on why you guys do what you do. Maybe it's fodder for another book. I don't know. You can probably meet with a parent today and be like, listen, you're not doing that bad. You're just this girl that has a podcast. And let me tell you what she's doing out there. But that's kind of the state of the union of parenting in the Yanof household. And I was thinking about this and how you guys are so good at kind of giving the state of the union on parenting in a good way, not like I am. Like, you know, like the state of the union literally is when a president says, like, here's currently what's going on in our country and, and here's like, here's what the concerns are and here's the call of action. And I thought, well, let's just do that today. Like, you guys have a new book coming out. And we'll talk a lot about that. But like, what is the current state of the union of our kiddos? And, and what are some of the red flags you're seeing, which obviously led to another book? So kick us off with that.

Speaker 2:
[07:22] Well, we have been talking, I mean, as you said, we're getting to have a lot of conversations with kids and parents in our counseling offices. And, and this book is a reaction to that, to what we're hearing every day. And we would call it a crisis of capability. That, as a result of the mental health epidemic among kids, the mental health crisis that we know has been, from a surgeon general standpoint, in effect since 2021, he has not rescinded it, it is certainly still true of, in terms of what we're seeing, from the impact of technology on kids, from the parenting strategies that we're seeing every day, from the most well-meaning parents that I've seen.

Speaker 1:
[08:06] Like me, like me, Sissy.

Speaker 2:
[08:08] Like you, like you, that are really, I think so much of the strategies are, how do I not fail my kids? How do I keep them out of counseling?

Speaker 1:
[08:17] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:17] Because of my own failures. And then David and I would add, even some of what parenting experts are saying to kids, we think, saying to parents today, we think all of that is contributing to this crisis of capability. And even, you know, so many of us have read Jonathan Hyatt's great work, The Anxious Generation. And it made us very attuned to what's wrong. And so we want to talk about what can be right. We want to talk about what we can do in light of all the things that are going on culturally around us.

Speaker 1:
[08:51] Yeah, yeah. And the book title is Capable, How to Teach Your Kids the Strength, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience. And I was looking through the book this morning, and I love that you were saying how the terminology, even with our kids is changing, how you and I probably said back in the day, when we were stressed, and they would say they're anxious, or I'm just a little down or sad, we might have said, and they're gonna say I'm depressed. Or you even made the point that some kids in the past would have said, like, I'm gonna run away versus now, like, I'm thinking about hurting myself. And so talk to us a little bit about how this terminology is changing, and also how this self-diagnosing that's going on, maybe some of the concerns around that.

Speaker 3:
[09:30] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:30] Well, I can jump in, because I feel like girls are doing it more than boys.

Speaker 1:
[09:34] Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:35] David, I just ran over you, though. Do you wanna answer?

Speaker 3:
[09:37] Oh, please. Go forward.

Speaker 2:
[09:40] I think I remember the point when I first started hearing kids use what I would say is the specific terminology from the DSM, which is the manual I would use if I were gonna diagnose kids. We don't diagnose kids at Daystar purposefully, but I feel like they were memorizing the bullet points, because there was this sense of, if I don't have a diagnosis, my feelings aren't valid. My experience isn't valid, because so many other kids around them had this diagnosis. And so that was probably, I would say, Cynthia, seven years ago, it shifted from, I felt like kids were Googling it. Now, I think the primary source for mental health information for kids is TikTok. And so they're learning about all these diagnosis, all these genuinely valid experiences people are having, and they are naming those for themselves. They're diagnosing themselves with those things. The latest that I'm hearing more and more kids talk about dissociating. And for kids who've been through trauma, that is a very significant byproduct of the trauma they've encountered. But there are a lot of kids who are watching influencers who have, who are dissociating, and now they're saying, that's what's happening to me when I sometimes check out in class. They're just, they're really pathologizing normal experiences and emotions in a way that I think takes away the power and the validity for the kids who are truly experiencing. And they're defining themselves by these diagnosis. And we don't want kids ever to diagnose themselves by something that they feel like is wrong. We want them to diagnose themselves, I'm sorry, define themselves by their strengths and their capabilities.

Speaker 1:
[11:29] Yeah, yeah. And so you talk in this book about how our kids are increasingly less prepared for life as we're in 2026. At the time this releases, like they are less prepared. And so tell us a little bit about that. What does that look like and what do we attribute that to?

Speaker 3:
[11:48] You know, Cindy, it's interesting, as we've watched a lot of trends over the course of doing this work for three decades, you know, if I think back to the front side of my work, I don't ever remember encountering as many kids who were as resistant to joining a sports team or being a part of a club. And if we fast forward that into adolescence, I certainly don't have any recollection of adolescent boys in my early years of doing this work who were resistant to getting their driver's license. And I hear that story every week now. And boys who don't want to ask a girl to a homecoming dance or attend a prom, and the national statistics around how few, I'm talking about boys specifically, young men are now applying for college. And that's not to say college is the end-all, be-all path for every boy, but to say all the different ways that I'm seeing evidence of boys avoiding risk, from the front side of development to the back side of development, that I think translates to all the different ways they don't feel capable in launching out into the world in young adult and adulthood. And so, you know, Sissy and I talk in the first chapter of this book about how often every correction is an over-correction. I think it's the most intuitive move, you know? And so many of us grew up with maybe parents who didn't do a lot of listening. Kids were seen but not heard. And the over-correction of that is maybe sometimes we're listening too long. Now we believe listening is good. We are the first to champion attunement and connection and parents really hearing their kids. But I think that's but one category, one example of where I think we're swinging too far in an effort to compensate for what we didn't get in ways that aren't helping the kids we love develop resourcefulness, resilience and to our word, capability.

Speaker 1:
[13:39] Yeah, yeah. And I think that as we're trying to be empathetic to our kids that are growing up in a generation that's so much different than when we grew up with all of the hardship. I mean, I even think about, you mentioned this in the book, like even my son asking a girl to prom and the whole promposal. And I mean, I felt stressed out. I was like, gosh, are we going to have the right gift? Do we get a helicopter? Like, are we like, you know, we're trying to be empathetic. But at the same time, are we also making them capable? And are we talking down some of this and letting some of this go? And I think one of the favorite things that I read this morning that you guys wrote in there is it said you talk about capable parents, which is what I want us to break down a little bit. And you wrote this, capable parents value resilience over relief or rescue. Capable parents value sturdiness over success. Capable parents value health over happiness. Capable parents value capability over confidence. Capable parents value faith over fear. And what I read that I'm like, yes, yes, yes. And then I think, okay, 100% Cynthia Yanof is in that camp. And then I think about how much time I spent on hard skills with my kids that can go on a college resume versus the soft skills that are not going to get you called to the front of the cafeteria for the award, that are not going on the college resume, but they will help you make it in life, not only just to be a great successful individual, but to be God honoring, to do the things we're called to do. You need these, so to speak, soft skills. So talk to us a little bit about this as parents. How do we kind of switch? It's switching the gear from what culture's telling us matters most.

Speaker 2:
[15:19] Yes. Yes, we opened the book with the story of a girl in my office who said, I can't remember what I even asked or said to her, but her response was, I don't want to grow, I just want to be understood. Yeah. And that to me feels like 2026 in a nutshell with kids. And so as we're thinking about the skills we want them to learn, and as you said, we have skills and strategies and strengths in the book. And we also, by the way, one of my favorite parts of the book is we have 100 capable building exercises. So when you're thinking about what's the next step, we have 100 of them for you in the book. Of involving hard skills, silly skills, challenges that require character. I mean, so many different things. And we talk in the book about the power of purpose and moving outward. That's one of the things we talk about. And that's a soft skill. But one, when kids don't feel capable, they're not going to have any sense of moving outward, moving towards purpose. And we believe that can be life-changing for kids in terms of who they believe that they are and what they have to offer the world. And so as much as we can, I think even when you're talking about helping kids develop hard skills, there is, when I hear you say that, I think about a parent leaning over almost a child. I've got to point out the things you need to do and I've got to direct you towards them. And we really want parents to lean back and to still offer a lot of empathy, offer a lot of support, but more from the perspective of, you can do this. And even thinking about launching kids, like what do you want to learn to do? What do you feel like is necessary? And how can I help you do that rather than this posture that I think we do have in 2026 of, either I'm going to do it for you or let me tell you what you need to do and exactly how to do it. But how can we lean back and remind them how capable and resilient they really are?

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 3:
[19:21] Oh, I absolutely think that's true, Cynthia. And I think in terms of the correction to overcorrection, you know, we could argue that parents of one generation would have benefited from having more information. We actually would probably benefit from having less. So we have so much information that I think it overwhelms us as parents to the point of, to your great question, we fear any misstep will be catastrophic in some way, you know, that I could somehow detour their entire life with one step as opposed to it may simply be a misstep and there'll be opportunity for growth. We talk a lot about that in the book. We grow more from getting it wrong than getting it right. And so there's so much opportunity for good stuff if we're not working over time to try to stand in the way of the opportunity for struggle.

Speaker 2:
[20:09] I had a mom call it paralysis by analysis. And I think that's exactly right. And to all that information and all the people we're following on our phones that are telling us exactly how to do it, we really believe it's making parents question their own gut.

Speaker 1:
[20:26] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[20:26] That it's this sense of I've got to trust the experts, I've got to trust someone else more than I trust myself. And that's one of the things we're saying to parents more and more and more in our offices is trust your gut. God gave you this child for a reason. He knew you were the parent they needed more than the phone, more than the expert. Trust your gut and what you feel like is right in this moment.

Speaker 1:
[20:48] Yeah. Yeah. You know, I saw it with our oldest daughter when she was getting ready to go to college. She had several choices and we're very thankful for that. But she literally could not make the decision. Like she was listening to everything I said and Mike said, but really like girl mom situation where she just, I mean, she wanted me to make the decision. She didn't say that. I mean, if I literally wore a sweatshirt that had another school, she'd be like, oh, I knew you wanted me to go to that one. I'm like, oh my gosh, like we're gonna need to. And so I remember my husband sat down with her and he did like a little PowerPoint on how one makes a decision in general, like not a college decision. He's like, here's how we start. And this is, and he went through this with her and I thought, well, this is sad. We're at this point in life and the kid literally doesn't know how and it's not even just a college thing. Like she really, anytime there was, there was a big decision to be made, big in her mind, right? Like she needed me to weigh in on it. And I remember thinking like, this isn't going to fair will for you in the long run. And I think there's anxiety and other things behind that, that we've worked on. But I think I feel that empathy for the parent. That's like, I'm going to screw this up. I didn't give them what they need. I didn't give them the tools. And I feel it for the parent who's like, man, I went after all the hard skills and I wanted them to have the right GPA and to play the viola and speak French and be the captain of the team. And we went after that and they can't make a dang decision. I hear you and I feel you. But I don't think it's ever too late. I'd love for you to speak into that. I think even as I have college kids and going young adults, I mean, we're still, I mean, just one of mine came home from college for the first time recently and was kind of being a jerk if we're honest. And I was like, listen, your character counts more than anything else in this house and it stinks right now. I love you and I know God made you, but we're going to figure this out before you leave this house and still trying to feed into it. And so I just want to encourage people, and I know you do too, that yes, we're going to get it wrong some, but then we're also have opportunities to course correct and focus on what matters. And so that's kind of a long way in saying, could you talk to us a little bit about the things that probably are not on the forefront of our mind that we could really focus on? You talk about humility, gratitude, those kind of things. Just give us a little bit of insight on that and how maybe today we can start focusing on some of those things.

Speaker 3:
[23:09] Can I say something first, and then Sissy, you jump in with some specifics. Cynthia, what I love about the way you ask that question is the importance of not losing sight of the timeline. And I talk so often about how developmental theorists collectively agree, and I talk about it for boys, that adolescence for a male ends somewhere between 23 and 25. We act like 18 is the finish line for a boy. It's nowhere near the finish line. Most would agree it ends for girls around 19 to 20. That's a significant difference. And so we don't need to set the finish line at 18, 19 or 20 for the boys we love. We need to be reminded that there will be so much growth happening between 20 and 25. And we'll still be doing a lot of parenting. You know, offering support, offering input, helping brainstorm decisions. And so I love the way you asked that question, that is the acknowledgement of... I think even just that reminder takes some of the pressure off of remembering there's a lot of opportunity for growth and development. I think most of us as adults would say, I did an insane amount of growing in my 20s. I figured a lot of things out about life and that stretch of development. So at first, say, let's hold on to the timeline. Sissy, talk more about the specifics.

Speaker 2:
[24:25] Well, I love what y'all are talking about too, because I think we're still growing alongside the kids we love. Timeline, I mean, we're still on the timeline ourselves. And to that point, we do have these strengths, skills, and strategies in the book that we feel like are important, more important than ever. One of the strengths that we're seeing lacking in kids more than we've ever seen is flexibility.

Speaker 1:
[24:49] Love that one.

Speaker 2:
[24:51] And in lieu of other healthy coping strategies, we're seeing kids lean more towards control than any other. And so, for example, we have group counseling at Daystar, and the kids together get to decide where they're going to go to dinner as a part of group. And we have boys regularly melting down, screaming and crying over not getting to go to their chosen restaurant, feeling out of control. Now, to your timeline point, we were just talking about that literally this morning on another interview. And the interviewer, who's an adult and a mother, said, I'm so convicted because I've used control as a coping strategy my entire life. And that is exactly right. I mean, I think none of us are great at flexibility, but in this generation of kids that are dealing with anxiety, they have so locked down on control that I think it's become a primary issue in emotional dysregulation, but also a primary issue in their lack of moving towards capability. And so if I can't do it right, I'm not even going to try. If you are changing my schedule or changing anything that I'm expecting, I'm going to scream and cry and melt down. And so practicing flexibility with kids, even maybe incentivizing flexibility, but in silly ways, David talks about in parenting seminars, one thing you can do today is go home and when you go to sit down for dinner, shift one seat to the left. And Cynthia, when we say, when he says that out loud, the amount of parents in the room who look stricken. Yes, yes. Panics, what? We're all anchored to that kind of control and we know what it's going to do to kids. And so we've got to start practicing flexibility. Flexibility offsets anxiety. And really, that's what this book is. So much of our work, and I'm going to call us out as therapists, but so much of our work is reactive. And we're trying to help with things on the back end after there's already a problem. And our hope is that this book is going to be proactive. And we're doing some things to be preventative in terms of mental health for kids, their capability, their sturdiness, all of those things that you named earlier.

Speaker 1:
[27:06] Yeah. I love that you said that about flexibility, because, I mean, again, aren't we all convicted as parents? And the older you get, the less flexible. I think naturally you are. You're more stuck in your ways. And so you've hit this, but I want to, in a lot of different ways. But this was a section of the book that I thought was so good. You just talked about a parent's role in modeling capability. Just give us a little thumbnail on that.

Speaker 3:
[27:31] Well, I'd first say this. The working definition we talk a lot about in the book that I think is true for kids and for parents is that capable kids have practiced coping and learned competence for life's challenges. And if we were to focus in first on the practice coping, that is that reminder of what we have been told all throughout Scripture, Romans 5, Romans 8, John 10. We're going to struggle this side of heaven. We are. And so I love Dr. Susan David said, discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. Like we're going to encounter it at every corner. And so how can I practice coping for when I come up against the discomfort, which doesn't mean something's wrong. It actually means I'm human and I'm living this side of heaven and develop competence as a result of practicing the coping, of test driving these skills in different ways so that I feel prepared for whatever the challenge is, whether it is backing up that timeline we talked about, feeling overwhelmed about first day of practice at a brand new sport that I have never done before, or it is asking someone at the homecoming to answer prom for the first time, taking my driver's test, applying to college, all the different challenges I'm going to face throughout life that I have practiced moving through the discomfort so that I have the skills in place. And I think to your great question, we talk so often with parents about how kids are primarily experiential learners and the best learning is going to happen in going through the motions, them having the experience, secondarily through us narrating our experience. And we come home as parents and say, you know what, I had to give a presentation to the board of directors today and I didn't feel prepared. Can I tell you what I did that helped right before I stepped into the room? So knowing that that narrating is landing on the kids we love, that is our opportunity to talk about where we practice coping and we develop competence and we face challenges.

Speaker 1:
[29:24] Yeah, before we wrap up though, there's one little phrase that I loved, loved and you talk out shaking off the dust. And I was like, man, that's something again, back to this resilience, right? And if you are going to raise kids, they're gonna do hard things, do things that are hard, maybe to them that maybe we don't think are hard and we're gonna challenge them, we're gonna let them fall, all the things and they need to learn to shake off the dust. Just give us a little word on that because I think that's one of the harder things. I want to fix it. I want to somehow insulate them. I want to say all the things like, oh, it was better than you think or whatever. Maybe sometimes just gonna be like that stunk, like, and let's, how do we shake off the dust? So give us a word on that before we go.

Speaker 2:
[30:07] Well, it comes from our friend Melissa, who is the founder of Daystar and does all the Bible teaching for us at our little summer retreat program called Hopetown. She taught on this one year. And I had never paid that close of attention to when Jesus is sending out the disciples. He basically is saying in the Gospels that there are gonna be places where you won't be well received. When that happens, shake the dust off your feet and keep going.

Speaker 1:
[30:31] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[30:32] And we're seeing less kids, again, than ever before who experience hurt, experience disappointment, that a friend doesn't wanna play with them on the playground, that they're not invited, that they're watching the snap maps and everybody's together and they're not. And that on a 1 to 10 scale, what would feel like a 2, 3 or 4 feels like a 59.

Speaker 1:
[30:55] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[30:56] And so helping kids learn to literally shake it off and put things in perspective is so important. I have another amazing mom that I worked with that she had a little girl who felt things very deeply and she talked to her about a duck and she said, you know, ducks have this outer layer of feathers that help them when water comes, that it doesn't get to their bodies and they can shake it off easier. And so she said, I have started reminding my daughter, shake it off like a duck, be a duck. That became kind of a code word for them. And I think we've got to remind kids of that truth. We've got to do it ourselves. And the chapter is scaling, sizing, and shaking off the dust that you're talking about. And that's what we want to take them back to that idea. Because again, it doesn't become a part of their identity. It's something that happened to them. It's a challenge they face that they can grow through and learn from.

Speaker 1:
[31:52] That's good, that's good. I'm gonna end with this quote from the book. God is with you and has given you everything you need to raise this child. Trust your instincts and him. Go in the strength that you have that he has given you. The strength is just enough for this glorious task of raising capable kids. And again, the book is called, Capable, How to Teach Your Kids the Strength, Skills and Strategies to Build Resilience. And it is out. Everybody grab a copy. And you guys, thanks for being here with me again.

Speaker 2:
[32:22] Oh, it's delightful to be with you always.

Speaker 3:
[32:24] No idea how much we enjoy your company.

Speaker 1:
[32:27] Well, y'all are super fun. Okay, everybody grab the book and we'll link it all in podcast notes.

Speaker 2:
[32:32] Thanks, friend.

Speaker 1:
[32:34] I mean, seriously, aren't they the best? I love them so much. And I will tell you this about David and Sissy. I've been with them in real life. I've interviewed them a lot. They are the same people, on the mic, off the mic. They're just incredible. So support them, grab their book Capable, How to Teach Your Kids the Strength, Skills and Strategies to Build Resilience. And then one other thing, leave a review for this podcast. If you enjoyed this today, I would love for you to leave a review, even share it with a friend. I know that this encouraged me and I bet it would encourage people you know as well. So guys, thanks for being a part of the MESSmerized family. You're the very best.