transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Have you ever been to one of the outdoor drafts? I've been to one of the indoor drafts, and man, what a depressing experience that was.

Speaker 2:
[00:06] I haven't been to, like, look, man, I don't mean to destroy your hair.

Speaker 3:
[00:09] Oh yeah, how many NFL drafts have you guys been to?

Speaker 2:
[00:12] Why would I go to the draft? This is the thing I understand.

Speaker 1:
[00:15] No, no, no, ask the question. Ask the question.

Speaker 3:
[00:17] What do you mean, why would you go to the draft?

Speaker 2:
[00:18] I understand lots of like, you should go to this thing. I don't understand why one would go to the draft. I don't get it at all.

Speaker 4:
[00:24] I happened to be in Nashville during the draft when it was there, did not go. It was weird. I didn't have the sense that anyone was in town for it, even though like a million people were, you know what I mean? Like, didn't see like caravans of dudes in jerseys or whatever. Like, it's like people get airlifted in for it or something. I don't understand the psychology of standing to watch a spreadsheet get filled, but.

Speaker 1:
[00:48] I think that's very literal, by the way. They do get airlifted in because the one in Vegas was exactly like that. It was like they had piped in. You're like, wow, a Chargers fan, in the wild. I don't mean a San Diego one. I mean like an LA Chargers fan.

Speaker 2:
[01:03] It has all the information poverty of attending a live event. Like, you don't have as much information as if you just watched on television. But you're not like, what is the coolest thing you can be like, oh, I was there when this happened. If a player punched Roger Goodell in the solar plexus, like then I'd be pissed I wasn't at that draft, admittedly.

Speaker 4:
[01:24] You never know, it will happen, right? We're all waiting for it.

Speaker 2:
[01:29] The only thing I could ever understand about like, this is why you should go to the draft is when it was in New York every year, and when you'd go as a Jets fan to boo whatever the Jets did. Like that I understood the communal aspects of going and participating in a shaming ritual.

Speaker 4:
[01:44] This is the one fun thing Jets fans get to do all year.

Speaker 2:
[01:47] Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] I mean, when I went.

Speaker 4:
[01:50] I hate each other publicly.

Speaker 1:
[01:52] When I went, there were just Jets fans drinking sparks on the pavement outside, and that was pretty fun. I thought that was a great setup for them.

Speaker 2:
[02:02] It's like, I don't know, it feels like tailgating a surgeon's convention, but you're not a surgeon or something.

Speaker 4:
[02:09] It's like Coachella for dads. We're just going to stand here, man, in our jerseys. Just stand here.

Speaker 2:
[02:18] It's also weird now because, like, all right, let's say you're going to this year's draft. You're going, does anybody give a shit about what the Steelers are doing in the draft this year? The most the Steelers are doing in the draft this year is not finding out if Aaron Rodgers is playing quarterback or not.

Speaker 4:
[02:35] Steelers are going to do the same shit as ever. They're going to draft like, oh, that seems like a really competent linebacker. No one's ever going to score points in a Steelers uniform. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you got a really good guard. That's it. That's all the Steelers are for.

Speaker 1:
[02:52] Thank you for reminding me that the most recognizable trademark prompt in the audio universe of the NFL is in fact from Greece and is a non cinematic track.

Speaker 3:
[03:06] It's not from Greece and the fact that they won't admit that it's from Greece is annoying. It's the same, but it's not from.

Speaker 2:
[03:14] Right. It's legally distinct.

Speaker 3:
[03:18] If you've never noticed this, I remind people of this once a year. Listen, I will never be able to tell enough people about this. The NFL draft pick is in music. That you hear on NFL Network every year is the first run of notes from Greece, the musical. The song is called It's Raining on Prom Night, which and the lyrics are, I was deprived of a young girl's dream. So just think about that every time you see Roger Goodell come out with his arms outstretched.

Speaker 2:
[03:53] Now, I do think we should, not we. I think Spencer should go to next year's NFL draft.

Speaker 1:
[04:01] Where is it, Ryan?

Speaker 2:
[04:02] Washington DC. I am open to being wrong.

Speaker 3:
[04:12] I was like, why would they have the draft there? Because I forgot they had a football team.

Speaker 2:
[04:17] Oh, that's unfortunate. I am open to being wrong if somebody wants to write in or whatever and be like, hey, it's actually really fun to go to the NFL draft because you can do like, sure, I just don't know what those things might be.

Speaker 1:
[04:31] I will say the one in Vegas was fun as hell.

Speaker 2:
[04:33] Why? What was fun about it that was different from any other time going to Las Vegas?

Speaker 1:
[04:38] Honestly, a bunch of NFL fans all in a really good mood.

Speaker 2:
[04:42] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[04:43] That is 100 percent valid. They were all in a very good mood. They were very excited. They had that vibe of people who are in a place where entertainments have been set up for you. There's a concentration of people and there's just enough alcohol to keep everyone happy. So a bunch of people out there with stupid hats going, yay, and drinking beer. That's it. That's a quality experience. I'm saying this like it's a B plus. It's like you would not regret going to the NFL Draft in Vegas. Can't speak for anywhere else, but the NFL Draft in Vegas, quality time.

Speaker 2:
[05:11] Do you think it was more fun for you? You famously don't have an NFL team, so you have no dog in this fight whatsoever. Do you think that was part of what was fun for you as you were like, oh, look, everyone's having a good time and this isn't really for me or of me or whatever?

Speaker 1:
[05:27] I think that may have helped. However, I don't think having a team was a factor for most of these people. I will also say about 30 percent of them, it being Las Vegas, were Raiders fans, and Raiders fans, quality hang.

Speaker 2:
[05:43] This is, I'm tipping a little bit what we're going to do in this episode. I would like to go to a draft, just a jersey spot, just to see what kind of weird obscure jerseys people can pull, that you can be like, oh, man, you got a Bubby Brewster Broncos? Damn, look at you. You're an OG. That would be worthwhile to me.

Speaker 1:
[06:04] I saw a Tony Basselli Jags jersey, not totally obscure, but I think That's solid. Stylish.

Speaker 2:
[06:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[06:11] That was a good pull. What else did I see? I saw a Pac-Man Jones Bengals jersey.

Speaker 2:
[06:18] I would wear a Curtis Painter Colts jersey. That's what I, because Curtis Painter is actually key to the draft, as it turns out. So I think it's on theme.

Speaker 1:
[06:29] I would wear an Anthony Beck Jets jersey, just so people would boo me. Wow.

Speaker 2:
[06:33] Yeah. Hold on. We'll see how much Curtis Painter jersey goes for on eBay.

Speaker 1:
[06:38] Call it. Call it. I'm going to say that the sucker goes for-

Speaker 2:
[06:41] Do you think it's 700 or over 100?

Speaker 1:
[06:43] $70.

Speaker 2:
[06:45] Not available.

Speaker 1:
[06:47] What? Priceless. We were both wrong.

Speaker 2:
[06:49] Damn. I can get a Purdue jersey, but not a Colts one. Shit.

Speaker 1:
[06:56] Yeah. Now, now time to find our new grail. New grail found, Curtis Painter Colts jersey.

Speaker 2:
[07:03] Hey, if you have a Curtis Painter Colts jersey, hit me up.

Speaker 1:
[07:06] Yeah. You hit Penny up. All right.

Speaker 2:
[07:10] I want to really confuse people everywhere I go.

Speaker 1:
[07:14] But yeah, like I will speak fondly of the draft. I don't really know why people go, but if you end up there, not a bad time. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[07:24] Right?

Speaker 1:
[07:26] If you fall into it, if you're walking down the road and you stumble into a pit and into the NFL Draft, congratulations, it's going to be a pretty good time.

Speaker 4:
[07:34] That's where they should put it when they go to Buffalo. They should do the Buffalo Draft in the legendary pit beside the stadium. You have to go down to find it.

Speaker 1:
[07:44] Did you see, speaking of collapse, did you see our beloved Buffalo Galoots knocking down a crowd barrier at the Sabres game celebration?

Speaker 2:
[07:55] No, I did not see.

Speaker 4:
[07:57] Just like people fell over at the little metal grate thing.

Speaker 1:
[07:59] Yes, it was like 45 degrees outside because it's Buffalo in April, and a bunch of shirtless dudes when the Sabres, who were trailing 2-0 in the third period with about seven minutes left, scored four goals in rapid succession to win that game and stun the Boston Bruins, 4-3. Welcome to your NHL broadcast. They showed a feed of live Sabres fans, like a live feed of Sabres fans, not a feed of live Sabres fans, because that would imply there's a feed of dead Sabres fans, which that's pretty hardcore if you're dead and still showing up for Sabres games.

Speaker 3:
[08:37] If they're frozen solid, which they tend to be up there, it might take a while.

Speaker 1:
[08:43] Yeah, but you could do it. But it showed them and they were celebrating and they have one of those crowd barriers set up across the front. And these guys jumping up and down shirtless in 45 degree weather like, yeah, and just knocked it over, just absolutely flopped and crushed the crowd barrier.

Speaker 2:
[09:00] Imagine Lord of the Rings, but the Oathbreaker Ghost Army is all Sabres, dead Sabres fans.

Speaker 1:
[09:15] Just like kind of like slightly overweight guys with mustaches from like 1983. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:22] All beautiful. All wonderful. All named Ron.

Speaker 1:
[09:25] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[09:26] Ron or Gary? Army of Ron.

Speaker 1:
[09:58] Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. You are listening to me with the usual crew, Jason Kirk, Ryan Nanni, Holly Anderson, and Michael Surber on the ones and twos.

Speaker 2:
[10:18] I briefly thought you were going to say, I am Spencer Hall, you are, and then the listener's name for some reason? I was like, why are you providing, are we going to do a thousand of these?

Speaker 1:
[10:30] We could freak out one person, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[10:35] Matt. You are Matt.

Speaker 1:
[10:37] Yes. Hello, Matt DeSalvo.

Speaker 2:
[10:39] Statistically, you are Matt.

Speaker 1:
[10:42] Yes. Hello, Matt. We are addressing this podcast to you and you alone. You and your sins cannot hide.

Speaker 2:
[10:49] No, Matt's have no sins this week.

Speaker 1:
[10:52] That's true. It is Charity Bowl week.

Speaker 2:
[10:54] Charity Bowl week where Matt's purge themselves of sin and show their worth to the world once more.

Speaker 3:
[11:00] Through their wallets, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[11:02] Yeah. What do we call it? The analysis thereof, Holly? Of Matt donations?

Speaker 3:
[11:09] Saber Matrix?

Speaker 1:
[11:10] Mm-hmm. Yeah, Saber Matrix.

Speaker 3:
[11:17] I almost fumbled that. Did you hear it? I almost fumbled it again.

Speaker 1:
[11:21] I had faith. Yeah, advanced Saber Matrix. That's what this week is composed of. We have nothing but glory for everybody named Matt this week because damn, they're doing work in short. Right now, as of recording, it is Tuesday, April 21st at 2 17 p.m. And as of recording, if I hit refresh on this here, meter, the EDSBS Charity Bowl is currently at $602,587 Tuesday afternoon.

Speaker 6:
[12:01] Get dunked on! Get ready to get dunked on!

Speaker 1:
[12:06] Apparently-

Speaker 6:
[12:07] Stand your ass under the hoop. Nuts in your chin.

Speaker 1:
[12:16] Apparently, I'm about to get boom shakalacka- or dunked on. That's the 2 million mark, right?

Speaker 6:
[12:25] With your Sean Bradley looking ass.

Speaker 2:
[12:30] You don't look like Sean Bradley, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1:
[12:32] For many reasons, yes. $602,587 and of course the team that donates the most during the recording of this episode will receive an additional donation to charity, which we will determine. But yeah, we're currently, you're currently on the clock. So retroactive excitement.

Speaker 2:
[12:54] Yeah, yeah. They are currently on the clock.

Speaker 3:
[12:58] Hang on.

Speaker 1:
[12:58] Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 3:
[13:00] It is.

Speaker 1:
[13:02] It's a long week.

Speaker 3:
[13:04] It is 2:18 PM on Tuesday, April 21st Eastern Time. We started recording this show at 2 PM. When we started recording this show, we had about $598,000 raised. Right now, we have $602,000 raised. We are running a little game right now that we are calling the Fullcast Get Back, Give Back, which is an extremely stupid name that I'm very proud of. What we have done is this. The EDSBS Charitable, which is running all week at edsbscharitable.com. Most of you probably already know about this, but then again, Lou Holtz died. Some of you found that out from us. What? Yeah. edsbscharitable.com is how you donate to our annual fundraising drive for New American Pathways, which benefits refugee resettlement here in Georgia. moneycannon.org is where we have our live updating leaderboards for which school is ahead. You can look at it by overall standings. You can look at it by conference standings. You can make your own custom rivalry boards and go head to head with your buddies, with your office, whatever. We have a new game up right now at moneycannon.org/fullcast. How this is working right now. We started a brand new leaderboard that was zeroed out at 2 PM today. The rest of the leaderboards are still functioning. Your overall score is still intact, don't worry. But from 2 PM to whenever we stop recording today, whenever the show is, whichever team donates the most money during that amount of school, during that amount of school, I'm tired. During that amount of time, Spencer is going to give a $500 donation to a charitable organization in the town of your school or team. Because if there's one thing we love about the charity bowl, more than helping our newest and most vulnerable neighbors, it is personally hurting Spencer. So today, we're going to hit him in the wallet. At the end of the show, we will click stop on this particular leaderboard. We will announce the winning school online. We will then consult with our listers in that school to find a worthy organization. So you are on the clock. If you're hearing this now, you missed it. But that's what's going on right now.

Speaker 1:
[15:21] And by the time you get this, I will have experienced the pain of donating to.

Speaker 3:
[15:25] Oh, we know you're not going to turn the donation around at 24 hours, dude. Well, we'll get it by Friday.

Speaker 2:
[15:31] Can I?

Speaker 1:
[15:31] Friday is reasonable.

Speaker 2:
[15:32] Can I give you our very early top three?

Speaker 3:
[15:36] Yeah, because it's a walloping good one.

Speaker 2:
[15:39] All right. I'm going to start with our bronze medalist, Louisiana Tech.

Speaker 3:
[15:43] Just like we drew it up.

Speaker 2:
[15:45] It was just over $2,000, but coming out strong.

Speaker 4:
[15:50] Celebrating finally being allowed to leave Conference USA.

Speaker 2:
[15:52] That's right.

Speaker 3:
[15:55] By the way, setting up these goddamn Conference leaderboards, I don't mind saying this now, almost killed me this year because the lawsuit for where Louisiana Tech was going to play football in a matter of months was settled last week. I think the day after we recorded this episode and I was just like, are we going to have to put Louisiana Tech on its own board?

Speaker 2:
[16:22] I'm really going to miss the month-long stretch of time when football schedules had a 19-game schedule for Louisiana Tech.

Speaker 3:
[16:31] That was a great Phantom Island episode, by the way. That might be my favorite Phantom Island episode that you guys have done. I really miss.

Speaker 2:
[16:38] I'm going to miss that. Anyway, Louisiana Tech in third place, early strong showing. In second place, you're not shocked to see them here, although maybe you're shocked to see them in number two and not number one, Michigan Wolverines.

Speaker 3:
[16:49] They sure are in second place overall too.

Speaker 2:
[16:51] That's weird. Number one, leading Michigan right now, again, it's early in the show, with a total donation for the Fullcast Giveback of $4,363, Washington Huskies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're off and running. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[17:14] So a quality, we'll have to donate to a quality nonprofit in Seattle.

Speaker 3:
[17:18] That's fine.

Speaker 1:
[17:19] We could do that if this score holds, right?

Speaker 3:
[17:23] Let's not get ahead of ourselves yet. People could get dramatic, but yeah. Whoever wins, we're going to pick a community organization, mutual aid fund, something. We will find something worthy of Spencer's money and your goodwill in the city where your team is located. We'll make that happen.

Speaker 1:
[17:41] Yes. But a stunning effort by everyone so far. Like stunning. It's the word. I don't know how we can keep this pace, but apparently we're just going to.

Speaker 3:
[17:54] So yeah, we we were logging off last night. And one of the last things I saw was John Boyce saying like, Oh, hey, at this rate, if we keep going, we're going to hit half a million by midnight. We have to calculate the offline gifts that come in manually. So everything that doesn't come in via ADSBS Charity bowl.com. There are people who send new American Pathways a paper check this week. There are people who make bank transfers. Our folks overseas have to if we have listeners overseas and we have a few, they have to donate via wire transfer, all that stuff. We have to put all that in the scoreboard manually and we do that at the end of every day. It takes forever. Unbeknownst to us, we did in fact cross half a million at midnight. I know that because I woke up and we were at 523.

Speaker 2:
[18:38] Two things I want to add. If you're brand new, you have no idea what any of this is or how to do it, just go to edsbscharitybowl.com. It's got all the details about what the charity bowl is, where the money goes to, the leaderboard, or at least the overall amount raised, and where to donate. Second thing, again, from our friend David Cavucchi at Foia Ball. This came in last night when the donation total was just under $450,000. We were way past that by now. But that time, David noted that the charity bowl has had at that point, raised more money than the entire amount the Sugar Bowl Foundation gave to charity last year when they gave $435,000 away with $74 million of net assets.

Speaker 4:
[19:30] To be fair, we also have $74 million in net assets. So that's not true at all.

Speaker 1:
[19:38] Just another thing we do better than the Sugar Bowl. That's all. Maybe this is again, we've asked this question before, but we could start a bowl, right? It's not hard.

Speaker 4:
[19:53] There are no laws against it. There are no laws at all.

Speaker 1:
[19:57] No.

Speaker 3:
[19:57] Matt Brown's done this. Yeah. We know it could be done.

Speaker 1:
[20:00] But we could, yeah, we could absolutely do this.

Speaker 3:
[20:03] I think at some point we saw it takes like 65 grand. Yeah, I think we could do that.

Speaker 1:
[20:09] Fascinating. Looking into it. Looking into it. Concerning. And looking into it.

Speaker 4:
[20:16] You know, the Poinsettia Bowl is back, reportedly, so.

Speaker 3:
[20:19] Really?

Speaker 4:
[20:20] Might be time to snatch it up.

Speaker 3:
[20:23] Wait, does it still have the same sponsor?

Speaker 4:
[20:26] All I know is the Poinsettia Bowl is reportedly back.

Speaker 3:
[20:31] God bless those character counts.

Speaker 1:
[20:34] I was going to go back a little bit, by the way. How much did Louisiana Tech have to pay to leave Conference USA? It was an amount. It was an appalling amount. It was an amount.

Speaker 2:
[20:45] Well, the initial amount was, well, no. Okay, damn. This is why I say that the initial report was that it was over $8 million. But then that was walked back by people who were like, it's a lot, but it's not that much. But now I don't know that I've seen a final number anywhere.

Speaker 4:
[21:08] So Congress USA wanted $5.5 million. La Tech offered nowhere near that. It's somewhere in the middle. Okay. I think that's all we know.

Speaker 2:
[21:18] It's, yeah. Let's just say four. Four feel good? Just say four for the fuck of it.

Speaker 4:
[21:26] Ryan Nanni is reporting it as precisely $4 million, based on his legal expertise.

Speaker 2:
[21:32] I'll probably be closer than the people who reported it was eight, at least.

Speaker 1:
[21:38] I love how hard it is to escape Conference USA. This is forever shit.

Speaker 4:
[21:44] Apparently not. Everyone else managed it. Somehow La Tech had a hard time getting it. You look at the Conference USA leadership board, or membership board throughout time, everyone has stopped by. I don't know why they're the only ones susceptible to the gravity of Conference USA.

Speaker 2:
[22:01] If I recall correctly, it was also that La Tech just fucked up the math, and if they had filed their exit notice two weeks earlier, this was a very big clerical error in the end.

Speaker 4:
[22:15] It's also, for years, it was like, okay, you do your transition year, and then you have your actual gear. That was how the FBS jump worked. Now, all of a sudden, fucking Sacramento state is like, dear God, let us in immediately, or whatever. So maybe that's the energy in every direction. You do your tour of duty in Conference USA, because you are a school in FBS, which means you at some point have been in Conference USA. Like even the Army has been in Conference USA. But on the way out now, the new thing is you can't wait because no one waits anymore. Nowadays, nobody wants to wait.

Speaker 2:
[22:50] The list of former full members of Conference USA is so long. Let's go.

Speaker 4:
[22:56] It's like one of those-

Speaker 3:
[22:57] Wait, are there more former members than there are states?

Speaker 4:
[23:01] It's like one of those rock bands where they haven't had an original member since like 1983 from the armory.

Speaker 2:
[23:09] I will just do FBS teams because there are some that were full members but not for football. But here we go. UAB, UCF, Cincinnati, ECU, FAU, Houston, Louisville, Marshall, Memphis, UNC Charlotte, although I think that's a lot of non-football years. I don't know if we count that. North Texas, Old Dominion, Rice, USF, SMU, Southern Miss, TCU.

Speaker 3:
[23:37] Southern Miss had some non-football years too but not quite in the same.

Speaker 1:
[23:40] Yeah, not the same way.

Speaker 2:
[23:42] UTSA, Tulane, and Tulsa. That's a big, that's a super conference by itself.

Speaker 4:
[23:52] They also have now dozens of partial members still, right?

Speaker 2:
[23:56] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[23:57] The number of schools on this, seriously it on a lot of browser sizes. Like if you have, you're going to need to zoom it out, is what I'm saying, to see the full Wiki membership timeline on most resolutions. There are, it's a full screen.

Speaker 2:
[24:15] There are two sports that you can be an affiliate member in for Conference USA. Well, there are three but two that I care about here. Beach volleyball and bowling. And Tulane is in for both of them, but that's it. We're not doing shit beyond that with you again, Conference USA. We learned our lesson.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] I like that you could be a member of the Tulane bowling team and still get credit, right? You're applying to a top three law school and they're like, what extracurriculars did you have? And you're like, I was a member of an FBF bowling team. You're like, which one? The Tulane bowling team? I'm like, that's bullshit. I'm like, yeah. Count it.

Speaker 4:
[24:59] I like the ones that leave, like USF leaves Conference USA, then 20 years later need somewhere to put their volleyball program, crawling back to CUSA.

Speaker 2:
[25:10] Yeah. Vanderbilt. Oh, we're SEC. We're so...

Speaker 1:
[25:12] Nope.

Speaker 2:
[25:13] Bowling program's in CUSA. Here it is.

Speaker 4:
[25:16] I mean, it's got to be...

Speaker 1:
[25:17] Dominating.

Speaker 2:
[25:19] Nebraska joining the Big Ten. Oh, bowling with you as well.

Speaker 4:
[25:24] Let's see. You know, for whatever reason, you can't find people arguing about which bowling conference is the best, quite like you can't, damn.

Speaker 1:
[25:34] This is how I get... Man, this is how I get...

Speaker 4:
[25:36] So Google AI, take it for what it's worth, does say CUSA is the premier NCAA Women's Bowling Conference. I mean, I believe it. Everyone's in it.

Speaker 1:
[25:45] And this is how I have a spectacular two-year reign as CUSA, like head of CUSA, CUSA president, whatever. Because I would 100% go Pete Weber on bowling, right? You could go all those bowling teams and be like, hey, listen, I need you all to be as extra as possible. Getting fights, like it's NASCAR, throw hands, right? Making like DX cross chops the whole time, just do it.

Speaker 4:
[26:11] It's like as everyone makes their pilgrimage through Conference USA as dictated by NCA law, everyone has to be there at some point. The thing you leave behind is your bowling program. They provide the launch point elsewhere throughout FBS, like they're this portal entryway, but your bowling program must remain behind. That's what they keep.

Speaker 1:
[26:35] I'm keeping the bowling program.

Speaker 2:
[26:39] Do you know who your reigning national champion is in bowling?

Speaker 1:
[26:42] I don't.

Speaker 4:
[26:43] It was Vandy was the last one I'd heard of.

Speaker 2:
[26:46] So Jackson. Amputee ship as of like 10 days ago.

Speaker 1:
[26:54] You said Jacksonville State?

Speaker 2:
[26:56] Jacksonville State.

Speaker 4:
[26:58] Conference USA.

Speaker 1:
[27:00] Go Gamecocks.

Speaker 2:
[27:01] Conference of Champions.

Speaker 1:
[27:03] That's beautiful.

Speaker 4:
[27:04] That's technically true, isn't it? Almost every conference is a conference of champions. Every conference has conference champions. So every conference is a conference of champions. I mean, granted, the PAC 12 is the only conference of champions, which you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:
[27:19] Does that hold for ACC? I feel like ACC is cool.

Speaker 4:
[27:24] Well, in football, they don't have a champion really. They just sort of, the season ends. And they're like, Duke is eight and seven. They're the champion.

Speaker 2:
[27:34] Duke's the champion.

Speaker 4:
[27:36] I mean, let's be real here. Sure. Wink, wink. Yeah, Duke won the ACC. I get it. Real funny. Real funny stuff.

Speaker 2:
[27:42] Also, you're doing this in front of Surber as if Clemson hasn't won national championships in the last 15. Come on.

Speaker 6:
[27:48] Come on.

Speaker 4:
[27:51] I love it.

Speaker 7:
[27:51] Get the fuck out of Alabama.

Speaker 2:
[27:54] That's not hard Indiana, did it?

Speaker 7:
[27:55] Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 4:
[27:59] I remember the 2010s.

Speaker 5:
[28:00] Feels like yesterday to me, brother.

Speaker 4:
[28:06] Like pining for the first Trump administration. That's Clemson.

Speaker 5:
[28:09] It's been a while since I wore pants made of bacon, but I still love them.

Speaker 2:
[28:19] Jelly Roll, how was WrestleMania, by the way? I didn't watch it. I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[28:25] Fuck Pat McAfee, am I right? Maybe. Give me a couple of minutes. Might change that.

Speaker 4:
[28:30] That's a good reliable Cheap Pop Jelly Roll. You can't go wrong sticking to that line.

Speaker 5:
[28:37] I love Cheap Pop. Fago, baby. Mix it with some hot sauce.

Speaker 1:
[28:47] Thank you for body slamming Pat McAfee. I watched like five minutes of WrestleMania, but I didn't see that. Jason, I have a question about WrestleMania, by the way.

Speaker 4:
[28:56] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[28:57] Did you watch it?

Speaker 4:
[29:01] In a sense, yeah. Like me and my kid, we watch it every year. It's our thing. Or I should say it has been our thing. Like WWE had its series finale. Like it ended two years ago, and now there's WrestleMania 40, which is great and wonderful. We attended in Philadelphia. Since then, we watch it a few hours a year. Because it's really fucking bad. To be clear, most of its history was really fucking bad, with a few brief moments of excellence. But this weekend was the most corporatized ads heavy thing we've ever sat through. Like somebody crunched the numbers and there were more on Saturday, there were more minutes spent on promoting a Hulk Hogan documentary than there were on all the women's matches combined. And like, my kid, the main thing she's there for is the women's matches, so I think she's pretty much done with it forever. CM Punk Roman Reign's main event was great, but other than that, it was bad, man.

Speaker 1:
[30:00] Yeah, every time I looked up, it was a non-wrestler wrestling.

Speaker 4:
[30:03] There was a bit of that. Like when the highlight of the first day of it is like, I'm aware of this person, but it's still, you have to call him a person who goes by, I show speed, when the highlight of it is that guy jumping off a thing. Like, come on, man.

Speaker 2:
[30:22] I only have-

Speaker 4:
[30:22] Yeah, he jumped far. That's cool.

Speaker 2:
[30:24] I only have one WrestleMania metric as somebody who's- I've never watched any WrestleMania, not a vintage one, not like dipped in for one, just not a thing I've done. So my only way to tell whether WrestleMania is working or not, is how much people on my timeline are talking about WrestleMania. And this year, it felt like there was very- I barely knew that WrestleMania was even happening. And there was certainly years where people are like, too much dumb shit's happening or this is going too long. They're complaining WrestleMania years. This wasn't even that. There was just a real absence of WrestleMania chatter that was like, oh no, that feels bad. That's not what they're going for.

Speaker 4:
[31:03] It was clearly juiceless building up to it for a variety of reasons, which included stuffing Jelly Roll and Pat McAfee into the main event as if they were a bigger deal than Cody Rhodes and Randy. Literally, more people know who Randy Orton is.

Speaker 6:
[31:16] The Lincoln Douglas debate of our time, brother.

Speaker 4:
[31:21] The company that owns WWE is like, we need celebrities in here. Randy Orton is a bigger celebrity than Pat McAfee. Everyone knows the RKO meme. You are degrading it by adding less famous people to it. It's so fucking weird. It's the equivalent of AI slop wrestling. There's always stupid shit going on, and there's always gross shit and gross people around it. But it was just. There's so little show to it. Like a four-hour thing, the two hours of it are ads. Me and my kid were having a deliriously great time, just making fun of the whole thing, but that's really not the business model. But yeah, so little chatter to the point where at the end of the main event, usually that's the entire timeline, in an average WrestleMania year, and it was like, most people are talking about hockey. It's like, oh God, that's not good. No offense to hockey, but usually it is not a threat of mind on that night. Also, it's going to get worse because next year since Saudi Arabia, meaning no one you know will be in attendance, it's going to kick off at 1 PM. Like, and this is after they screwed New Orleans this year. They told New Orleans they would get it this year and they sent it back to Vegas and then didn't sell out the stadium either night. So like, there's talk of every other wrestling company doing a thing on those nights, like while WWE is taking Saudi money, just having like an AEW and Friends event in New Orleans.

Speaker 1:
[32:48] Gang up on them. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[32:50] Which should be cool as shit. And I hadn't thought about it. Does this mean they're going to bring in somebody to sing God Bless America in Saudi Arabia?

Speaker 4:
[32:59] I mean, they've done a...

Speaker 2:
[33:01] Yeah, so it'll be Bryson DeChambeau, actually.

Speaker 4:
[33:04] They've done a bunch of Saudi events and like, they're always so...

Speaker 3:
[33:08] But does the weird patriotism thing happen over there also? I don't think I've ever watched one of the overseas events.

Speaker 4:
[33:16] I don't pay much attention to pre-game fanfare, I guess. But I mean, I would assume it's mostly the same shit. Like, it's weird because it's even more nostalgia pandery, which is kind of hard to believe over the regular product itself. And they make all the women cover up from their necks all the way to their wrists and their ankles, which that feels so sweaty. We're in all that for wrestling. Other than that, it's pretty normal. You know, but it's a half a planet away and paid for by even worse money than Vince McMahon's, I guess.

Speaker 1:
[33:58] But it's a high bar to put in. Let's let that sink in for a moment.

Speaker 4:
[34:03] There are so many things when you talk about Vince McMahon and you're like, it's like, we're talking Satan, right? And then the bar is there and is it above or below? That's kind of like what you're wading through whenever you look at any of this stuff. And like, to be clear, I'm not any kind of a fanboy. It's like, I love Trainwrecks. That's sort of why I observed this shit. So that's my answer, Spencer, on how WrestleMania is. It was visually a sub-Satan trainwreck, but Satan himself is no longer involved, mostly.

Speaker 1:
[34:41] Can I tell you, sub-Satan trainwreck is now the new standard, right? That we evaluate all subsequent WrestleMania's by.

Speaker 7:
[34:49] I played bass for sub-Satan trainwreck in college.

Speaker 4:
[34:55] I was looking up y'all's second album.

Speaker 2:
[34:58] I think y'all should go back to your Scott origins personally. That's just my opinion.

Speaker 7:
[35:04] Never.

Speaker 1:
[35:06] Ryan, that's the one we're going to. We're going to WrestleMania in Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 4:
[35:11] Scottie Arabia? Is that what you're saying? We're going to take Scott aside. We're going to be... Because now that they don't have golf, they're getting rid of golf. They're going to keep Bryson, but they're going to get rid of all the other golf or whatever. So the game-changing golf league is like, oh, sorry, guess we're all scurry back to the PGA. But anyway, they're going to take all that money and invest in Scott instead.

Speaker 1:
[35:36] Which they should have done in the first place.

Speaker 4:
[35:39] The most stable resource of all.

Speaker 1:
[35:41] That's right, ska.

Speaker 7:
[35:43] It never goes out of style.

Speaker 4:
[35:46] Oil will fluctuate, ska will always be steady.

Speaker 2:
[35:50] Trombone washing, once again.

Speaker 1:
[35:54] What is in this case, sir? It's the greatest weapon of all. And I open it, it's the trombone. Why was he executed in Saudi Arabia?

Speaker 4:
[36:06] Because he wouldn't stop playing ska. It's the only way to make that shit shut up.

Speaker 1:
[36:11] Half of America is like, oh, tragedy! And the other half is like, yeah, they probably should have killed him.

Speaker 4:
[36:16] Oh, thank God. We have less ska here because we sent it elsewhere.

Speaker 1:
[36:22] That is one of our most divisive issues as a nation, is you just say the word ska. Beloved! Garbage!

Speaker 4:
[36:30] Half the room flinches.

Speaker 1:
[36:33] Half the room starts skanking quietly.

Speaker 2:
[36:38] Do you think anybody's ever skanked on the floor of the United Nations?

Speaker 1:
[36:43] Not yet, Ryan.

Speaker 2:
[36:44] I think it's time.

Speaker 4:
[36:47] I'm assuming whichever island culture it was ripping off, you know, like maybe they have.

Speaker 2:
[36:53] Sure, sure.

Speaker 4:
[36:55] Which in that sense, like, because like the whole thing feels like a ripoff of various Caribbean cultures or whatever. You know what I mean? So like, I don't know. White people don't come up with dances, is what I'm saying. So like whatever they were ripping off, maybe that happened.

Speaker 1:
[37:07] We now go to the delegate from Less Than Jake. That's my pinpoint Scott imitation. Yeah, I think we should go to Saudi Arabia, Ryan. This is how we do it.

Speaker 4:
[37:22] Uh-huh. You two are going?

Speaker 2:
[37:24] Yeah, it sounds good. And the thing I'm excited about for sure.

Speaker 4:
[37:28] I'm glad I didn't get mixed up.

Speaker 1:
[37:31] Oh, you want to go Jason?

Speaker 4:
[37:33] No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1:
[37:33] You think this sounds like a bad idea?

Speaker 4:
[37:36] You said Ryan should go.

Speaker 1:
[37:42] Listen, you know a place is great when Anthony Bourdain gets invited. He goes, shoots a whole show there, and is like, ah. Like, the end of the show, like, I think he made some jokes about Saudi Arabia in one season. Then they did a show the next season. And in that show, he really does give it the college try, and he gets the full tour. And even at the end, he's like, there's an elaborate way of saying, ah. Not my favorite place. Are you glad you went, ah? They had a Hardee's. I think that's his Anthony Morte's great takeaway on Saudi Arabia was, they had a Hardee's.

Speaker 2:
[38:22] Shoot, man, we can we can put WrestleMania in any number of cities with the Hardee's right here at home.

Speaker 1:
[38:30] That's remember, Hardee's within walking distance of the actual Kaaba Shrine at Mecca, three of them, three of them in walking distance.

Speaker 3:
[38:39] Well, yeah, that's how you make the Stargate.

Speaker 4:
[38:41] Yeah. The Hardgate.

Speaker 3:
[38:46] God, yes, there.

Speaker 4:
[38:48] Hardee's, their logo is a little red star, isn't it?

Speaker 2:
[38:51] Yeah. Once they merged with Carls, they stole that shit from Carls too.

Speaker 4:
[38:58] Are they not the same company? They are now, but they got it from Carls Jr. So they were looking at each other and like, we could be enemies, or we could-

Speaker 2:
[39:08] Or we could work together and become the fifth biggest burger company in the United States.

Speaker 4:
[39:15] Will it be good?

Speaker 6:
[39:15] It will be big.

Speaker 4:
[39:17] We will recite the Shahada and go on the haj together.

Speaker 1:
[39:25] The red, it's like annihilation, you can only tell by the glimmer in the eye, right? It's Hardee's because it has the eye of Carls. It has the little glowing star and that's how I know it ate Carls. That's how they're one new being.

Speaker 2:
[39:38] Evil Kirby.

Speaker 1:
[39:43] Yeah, I actually want a quarterback. What?

Speaker 2:
[39:48] Speaking of Kirby, update for you on the Fullcast, get back, give back Georgia coming in 12th right now, not looking likely to win this round behind illustrious schools, great at football, including Maryland, Illinois, Penn State, and Iowa, but still up top and with a lead that still looks pretty comfortable so far. Washington, still coasting out to a very strong showing right now.

Speaker 4:
[40:13] Damn, Big Ten catch up with the Pac-12 whenever you get around to it.

Speaker 1:
[40:17] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[40:17] That's the Pac-12 team. Shit. No, that's ours. We get to claim Steel Valor from there.

Speaker 1:
[40:24] No, it's not.

Speaker 4:
[40:24] No, you don't.

Speaker 1:
[40:25] Shut up. I am pro-Steeling Valor when it comes to conference, I'm sorry, which is why I think Conference USA should still claim all of the teams that were in it. Yeah, we sure. All 72 teams that have been in Conference USA.

Speaker 4:
[40:38] Well, I think it's...

Speaker 6:
[40:40] Built here.

Speaker 4:
[40:41] It's just nice to look around FBS and know that like, every single school received the tutelage of Conference USA.

Speaker 6:
[40:51] Forged in fire.

Speaker 4:
[40:53] Launched them to success.

Speaker 7:
[40:57] You ever been to Ruston?

Speaker 4:
[40:58] The ancestral homeland of all of FBS.

Speaker 2:
[41:02] Start shaming the schools who haven't been there. Be like, Michigan, O&O in Conference USA, Conference Play.

Speaker 4:
[41:07] What are you scared of? You even left the Big Ten at one point, but did you go to Conference USA? Conference USA is kind of the big bang of it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 6:
[41:16] Try it for a year, you big babies.

Speaker 1:
[41:23] Yeah. Conference USA.

Speaker 4:
[41:24] Scared to go to New Mexico State?

Speaker 2:
[41:27] People are like, promotion relegation would never work in college. Conference USA would make it work. Conference USA would absolutely take the worst team in the SEC.

Speaker 4:
[41:35] There is no relegation. Conference USA is all promotion. Because you can't fall any further. That's right. I guess you could. You could be UMass, wherever they are is relegation. They're just walking relegation.

Speaker 2:
[41:48] How has UMass never been a Conference USA football team?

Speaker 4:
[41:51] They suck too much. We wouldn't take them. We have standards, Ryan.

Speaker 6:
[41:56] First of all, they can't bowl for shit.

Speaker 1:
[41:59] Hey, we got a substantial donation from a UMass donor who donated for every loss the program had ever suffered.

Speaker 3:
[42:07] Oh my God.

Speaker 5:
[42:08] Well, that's the way to do it.

Speaker 4:
[42:11] Big number.

Speaker 3:
[42:12] How much was that?

Speaker 5:
[42:14] Quite a bit.

Speaker 1:
[42:15] Yeah, it was quite a bit. We also had an Indiana donor who did the same and I was like, gangster.

Speaker 3:
[42:20] Oh God. That's even worse. I know better.

Speaker 1:
[42:25] They broke it up actually into two. It was a pretty great creative way to do it. They were like, here's every program loss we've ever suffered. Like, yeah, it's part of the story or struggle. Then it was like, yeah. Then every loss we've suffered over the last two years and they threw in another two bucks.

Speaker 4:
[42:43] That's like a fee that barely even covers the processing.

Speaker 1:
[42:48] I do love that, though, it is the most jelly roll donation I've ever seen. Like, brother, do you ever lost 714 games?

Speaker 5:
[42:56] I have.

Speaker 6:
[42:57] Never again, though.

Speaker 1:
[42:59] Never.

Speaker 5:
[43:00] No, we up now.

Speaker 1:
[43:03] We're eating that good blessed shot, blessed Hardee's now.

Speaker 3:
[43:09] Florida currently doubling Georgia up and more?

Speaker 2:
[43:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[43:13] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[43:13] That's not how this usually goes.

Speaker 4:
[43:15] Overall, or in the?

Speaker 3:
[43:17] Overall.

Speaker 2:
[43:21] In the mini game, not so much.

Speaker 1:
[43:23] In the mini game.

Speaker 4:
[43:24] The overall leaderboard, Florida at number 4 behind PTKU, Michigan and Penn State.

Speaker 1:
[43:29] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[43:30] I love, man, can I be serious for one moment? I love so many things about PTKU that are probably very obvious. One thing that I especially love about it is that there were years when we worried that this wouldn't continue to be fun because Michigan is so good at this. While Michigan is home to our largest single donor for a streak of many, many years now, it is a woman, by the way, this is a Michigan ma'am. If you took her donation out of the standings, she does donate quite a bit, Michigan would still win because they have more people donating. We ran the numbers yesterday after day one and something like 60 percent of the donations are under $100 this year, and 93 percent of the donations are under $500. But the thing I love about PTKU is that whether you are throwing in, just to show your support of trans kids, whether you're throwing in for PTKU because you like sharks or because you don't have a college football team, or because you don't like the way that you're a football team, or your university is conducting itself, we have quite inadvertently built a juggernaut to compete with Michigan, and it's taking literally every other school coming together under the banner of PTKU to contend with Michigan. Anyway, I love PTKU for all the community-based reasons that it exists for year-round, but this week, I love it on a purely feral competitive level. Just great work, everybody.

Speaker 4:
[45:17] Speaking of Conference USA, Kennesaw State is currently beating half of the SEC, most of the Big 12, including Kansas State, the false KSU.

Speaker 2:
[45:26] Is it time to play our game? Uh-oh. What happened? Hello?

Speaker 4:
[45:33] Hello.

Speaker 2:
[45:33] Yes. Okay.

Speaker 3:
[45:34] Hello?

Speaker 2:
[45:35] Everything stopped for a second there.

Speaker 3:
[45:38] Ryan, earlier when you said, when you yelled the fifth largest burger chain, it kicked me off entirely. Sorry. No, I think that you are leveling psychic blasts through the microphone that are just so powerful.

Speaker 7:
[45:55] Big Buford Blast.

Speaker 2:
[45:57] Redneck Psylocke over here.

Speaker 5:
[45:59] hope the podcast.

Speaker 3:
[46:03] But it's right to the fifth largest burger.

Speaker 6:
[46:05] Slap.

Speaker 2:
[46:07] Slap. Go away.

Speaker 5:
[46:09] Get out of my head, Charles. I need a burger. I need a burger, Juggernaut.

Speaker 6:
[46:17] Anyway, what was your question?

Speaker 5:
[46:18] So hungry.

Speaker 2:
[46:19] I was going to ask him.

Speaker 3:
[46:21] Never mind. Do this voice for a while.

Speaker 5:
[46:25] Charles quit making me eat bad.

Speaker 2:
[46:27] What are you?

Speaker 3:
[46:28] I don't even know what you're trying to do right now.

Speaker 4:
[46:30] I think you're doing Hungry Juggernaut.

Speaker 1:
[46:32] Hungry Juggernaut, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[46:33] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[46:34] But it's like Michael Clarke Duncan's Juggernaut for some reason.

Speaker 1:
[46:39] Yeah. If Juggernaut were trying to eat clean, but Charles was like, eat fat boy.

Speaker 2:
[46:45] Which I don't know any universe where Juggernaut is like, you know what, I'm counting my macros.

Speaker 4:
[46:53] This is very 2000s Juggernaut. Like he tries to tone it down a lot. I don't know if he goes so far that Charles is like, listen brother, I need you eating that dirt. I need you eating junky garbage again. You're too skinny.

Speaker 1:
[47:08] Yeah, well, I mean, I could see him doing it, just antagonizing him because I was assuming, I was assuming Professor X is a little more maligned than he's portrayed as, right? Oh yeah, total dick. Like Juggernaut's like, yeah man, I'm just trying to get a little more cut. And Charles was like, oh, oh really, huh? Be ashamed if you want it.

Speaker 4:
[47:26] Oh, someone is making a decision for themselves.

Speaker 1:
[47:29] Well.

Speaker 2:
[47:30] I tried to run off tackle in the Astroplane, get it together, fat boy, bulk up.

Speaker 1:
[47:36] That's right.

Speaker 5:
[47:38] No, I don't want to eat chicken fries.

Speaker 2:
[47:41] We won't be moving you to tight end, asshole.

Speaker 5:
[47:46] Can't stop thinking about McBread.

Speaker 3:
[47:51] To our point like three minutes ago, one very interesting thing that's happening with the conference races right now, Kennesaw State, chief among them obviously, is that in almost every conference race, the gap between one and two is huge. I think the current smallest difference we have is in the Mac, where Buffalo leads Bowling Green by a little over $300. But most of them are places like Conference USA, where Kennesaw led by Jason is leading Delaware, an inferior bird, the Blue Hen, by well over $1,000. In the SEC, where just like in real life, and I decided earlier today this is because the cocktail party is being played in Atlanta this year. It's moving out of Jacksonville for two years. It's being played once in, not in Athens, but in Atlanta. And I've decided that Georgia is already prepared for how inevitably they will embarrass themselves in front of Florida. Cause you know, we all agree, right? That no matter how good this year's Georgia team is, they're going to do something real fucking stupid at that game cause it's here.

Speaker 1:
[49:09] They'll look dumb, they might win.

Speaker 3:
[49:11] I think Georgia is just preparing themselves emotionally by getting embarrassed by a Georgia based organization or by a Florida based organization ahead of time. Like Florida is more than doubling up Georgia right now. Oh, we have the PAC-12 is also close. Boise is, I'm sorry, we had a lead change in the PAC-12.

Speaker 1:
[49:30] Oh, go ahead.

Speaker 3:
[49:32] It was Washington State when we started recording. Oregon State is now ahead of Wazoo. Oregon State is never historically a strong contender in the Charity Bowl. And Boise is ahead of both of them.

Speaker 4:
[49:44] Folks, sound off in the comments if this is how you learn Boise States in the PAC-12.

Speaker 3:
[49:47] Very, very funny. Dude, we were putting, I have one more complaint about putting these conference leaderboards together, which is that we were checking them at like 1030 Sunday night and we realized we still had four schools out of position. One of which like I just forgot that Army is not an independent before. And the best part is, I also forgot that Army was not an independent last year and nobody said anything. It was on the wrong board for all of 2025 and nobody said shit.

Speaker 2:
[50:16] Because it felt right, that's why.

Speaker 3:
[50:18] Yeah, it felt right. And that's when I thought that we really should have, I thought about doing this and I just didn't want to put up with the hassle. I kind of thought about just moving Maryland back to the ACC board where it belongs and leaving it there. Because as we know, they never left the ACC.

Speaker 2:
[50:32] Put Auburn there too, fuck it.

Speaker 3:
[50:33] No, why not? They got a lake. Never shut up about the fucking lake. It's not even a good lake.

Speaker 1:
[50:40] The Lake Conference, the ACC.

Speaker 3:
[50:45] Auburn, if you're that mad, you should donate about it.

Speaker 1:
[50:48] I think we'd piss Minnesota off.

Speaker 2:
[50:51] Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3:
[50:52] Oh, yeah. Oh God, Auburn's currently trailing South Carolina and Ole Miss in the charity pool.

Speaker 2:
[51:00] Jesus Christ. The natural order is correct.

Speaker 3:
[51:04] That's all.

Speaker 2:
[51:06] I watched that Auburn Kentucky game. This all makes sense.

Speaker 3:
[51:09] By the way, Mizzou, if you ever wonder why we complain about having you in the SEC, it's because A, we don't like you, but also you're at 13th in the charity ball right now. You are ahead of Arkansas, Vandy, and Missy State, and Texas A&M, who you should really try and be more like, is in fourth.

Speaker 1:
[51:28] God damn.

Speaker 4:
[51:30] Hormuz gets clogged and all that A&M money's got to go somewhere.

Speaker 3:
[51:34] Texas is in seventh. Texas is behind both Oklahoma and Texas A&M.

Speaker 4:
[51:37] All the boats are stuck. All that Aggie money's rolling in.

Speaker 3:
[51:41] Where's that Texas money, Austin? Where is it at?

Speaker 4:
[51:45] That's true. You sound poor. Longhorns sound poor right now.

Speaker 3:
[51:52] They're over $1,000 behind Oklahoma.

Speaker 4:
[51:55] Broke.

Speaker 3:
[51:57] Saving up for that Sark buyout.

Speaker 2:
[52:00] Saving up for that Sark buyout.

Speaker 4:
[52:03] I'm hearing Texas fans, they spent all their money on all those transfers, all those big transfers for Arch. Now, they're broke and poor.

Speaker 3:
[52:14] I just love their transfer wizened.

Speaker 1:
[52:16] I just love the idea of five or six A&M boosters all in their cigar bunker right now. Just glued to the news with bourbon in their hand like, keep it closed.

Speaker 3:
[52:29] Yeah. By the way, I'm not going to name his name. A&M would be much, much, much, much, much, much further up the leaderboard. We have a longtime five-figure Texas A&M donor who flipped his donation to PTKU this year. Let's just say he falls under the, I'm not happy with the way my university is conducting business this year type of donation flip. So you're a loss Aggies, but you're still doing good.

Speaker 1:
[53:02] Tell you what, best friend I ever had, Iraqi Republican or the Iranian Republican National Guard. Yeah, the Republican Guard, whatever you call them. Them fellas.

Speaker 3:
[53:11] Do they have a mascot?

Speaker 2:
[53:12] Hormuz.

Speaker 4:
[53:15] Probably Eagles or Lions.

Speaker 1:
[53:19] Yeah, they feel very, that feels very like, yeah, whatever team they're on, I'm on.

Speaker 7:
[53:23] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[53:24] Every, well, it says Cheetah, also Lion.

Speaker 7:
[53:28] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[53:28] Two T's I root for, A&M and who's ever blocking the straight? That's who.

Speaker 4:
[53:33] Whoever's flying them little drones.

Speaker 1:
[53:37] Listen, they're blocking the straight so we can block the run lanes this fall, okay?

Speaker 7:
[53:42] With the biggest horses this little money can afford.

Speaker 4:
[53:44] I told my boy, Coach Elko, you think we ought to get some of them drones?

Speaker 3:
[53:48] I told my son Clayton with a K that Davey Crockett didn't die at the Alamo so he could go into e-sports. But after I see what these drone pilots doing over there, I tell you what, I'm sick of this run defense.

Speaker 2:
[54:00] That's why I planted mines all over Kyle Field. I'm learning from them.

Speaker 4:
[54:05] That's what that offense looked like against Miami. They didn't know where the mines were.

Speaker 2:
[54:09] Blam!

Speaker 4:
[54:11] Shit, we stepped on one. We planted.

Speaker 3:
[54:15] Heard a cruise ship got through. It sounds like some of that shit they do in Austin on 6th Street.

Speaker 1:
[54:22] Who said mines? I ain't claiming that. That's yours. I got nothing to do with that offense.

Speaker 3:
[54:26] That's the Colorado School of Yorns.

Speaker 2:
[54:29] The Carson Beck has made it through. Hell!

Speaker 3:
[54:34] Oh, shit, that's a nice career path for him. I hadn't thought about that. You think he's thought about like just going up there being part of Iron Dome?

Speaker 2:
[54:41] He does always look a little bit seasick.

Speaker 3:
[54:42] On account of all the intercepting?

Speaker 1:
[54:43] Yeah. That's true, you're like, man, we haven't, we've been under a barrage for three days, not one of them's gone through. You're like, Gunner Beck.

Speaker 3:
[54:58] I just realized you flip an iron dome over and it's an iron bowl. You think there's anything there?

Speaker 1:
[55:03] I don't know, let's work on that.

Speaker 3:
[55:05] If there was, I think Bruce Pearl would have been better at it, but.

Speaker 1:
[55:11] So like I was saying, keep it closed.

Speaker 3:
[55:13] You can reach Steven Godfrey at 38 God, no shit.

Speaker 2:
[55:16] Just get out his phone number, it's fine. Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 3:
[55:21] Hang up, I'm gonna give it out.

Speaker 1:
[55:24] Yeah, if you give $50,000 during this podcast, we'll give you Steven Godfrey's phone number.

Speaker 3:
[55:28] Sorry, you can reach Steven Godfrey at 615-232-7500. That is 615-232-7500.

Speaker 2:
[55:41] All right, Washington has crossed $6,000 donated during the Fullcast Giveback Giveback. I do think it is probably time for us to play the game that has been appointed for this week.

Speaker 3:
[55:52] Yes, I love games.

Speaker 1:
[55:55] We did. I have this concept. I think it's going to be America's most popular game show, but we have to pilot it here. OK, so you're on the ground floor of this investment. Congratulations, partners. We're going to do a thing the Internet's very, very good at, which is naming some guys. But I think this is competitive naming of guys. Like, what you do in naming some guys competitively. And I think it would work best in front of an audience. But we're going to have to do this living room style with y'all. Which is, you approach the mic, and you are given so many rounds. We're going to do four today. Four rounds, different categories of naming a guy. Now, when you name a guy, we're not talking necessarily about a legend. We're not talking about a cult figure even. Talking about a guy. Are we talking about the best name? It's got to be a good name, but it also has to be like, fuck yeah, that guy, right? You can't come up and just name a bizarre name because it won't have any oomph behind it. We need some trauma. You need to approach the mic, and you need to say, for instance, not choosing this name, okay? But if we were to do vintage college football players, I would approach the mic dramatically. The crowd would go quiet, and in a hush, I would go, Sam Shade.

Speaker 5:
[57:12] Everyone would go, oh my God!

Speaker 6:
[57:14] Woo, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[57:16] They'd be like, man, it's like seven points.

Speaker 2:
[57:17] I'm the Jets fan, so I would boo.

Speaker 1:
[57:19] Yeah. Thank you. How dare you do that to Sam Shade. But that is how our version of naming some guys will go. We have four rounds with four different categories.

Speaker 4:
[57:37] I think one thing is the criteria there could be flexible, because perhaps it's about naming the most guy, guy, or perhaps it is more about the name itself.

Speaker 3:
[57:51] Like the NFL Draft, it's an art, not a science.

Speaker 4:
[57:54] Is it about the naming or is it about the guy? It's perhaps both or it depends.

Speaker 3:
[58:01] They let the Vikings do this, so I feel like we're pretty qualified.

Speaker 4:
[58:06] So we've decided to do four rounds. The first round being modern college football. What does modern mean? I guess we'll find out.

Speaker 3:
[58:16] Yeah, we did not consult on this with each other.

Speaker 4:
[58:19] Do we have a draft order, Spencer?

Speaker 1:
[58:22] I'm one that I am going to make up on the spot. And since you asked Jason, we'll start with you.

Speaker 3:
[58:30] That's the start of it's raining on prom night.

Speaker 4:
[58:32] And what is that?

Speaker 1:
[58:34] The official NFL Draft theme music.

Speaker 4:
[58:36] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[58:38] Not the part that sounds like the pick is in.

Speaker 4:
[58:39] No.

Speaker 3:
[58:39] Because we don't want to confuse that.

Speaker 1:
[58:41] No.

Speaker 3:
[58:42] It's right after this.

Speaker 1:
[58:43] But we'll start with you, Jason, first. Okay. Modern college football, please.

Speaker 4:
[58:52] So, I thought a lot about I could go, like, let me go dig for something obscure. Let me, like, really, like, show off how many different college football posts I've looked at over the last 10, 15, 20 years, which is, gosh, it might be a million at this point. I decided instead to keep it really simple to go for the name that if you tell it to someone and they're not a college football fan, it is the single name most likely to make them say that can't be real. I am selecting, of course, former Tyler Juco, Oklahoma and ULM coach, or player, General Booty.

Speaker 3:
[59:34] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[59:35] Nephew of John David.

Speaker 3:
[59:36] Strong.

Speaker 1:
[59:37] Goddamn.

Speaker 4:
[59:38] Nephew of Josh. For me, I'm not going to try to overthink it, right? There's no reason to show off. Just take what the defense is giving you and what they're giving you is a home run.

Speaker 2:
[59:51] Best name available, best player available.

Speaker 1:
[59:53] That's incredible.

Speaker 3:
[59:56] We were primed as a society by the ascendance of John David Booty.

Speaker 1:
[60:02] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[60:03] We thought that was something.

Speaker 3:
[60:04] We had no idea. Still, new heights were achieved.

Speaker 1:
[60:09] Damn. That's impressive. Yeah, that's far. That's going to be strong. The rest of the first round is going to have to live up to that. Ryan, you are on the clock. Or naming a guy.

Speaker 2:
[60:25] The one thing I didn't clarify beforehand is, I wasn't sure where modern versus ancient college football begins. But I'm confident this guy counts for modern. My guy hails from Pennsylvania. He played at Michigan State, played in 40 games from Michigan State. He has more career passing attempts than Kirk Cousins, more completions than Connor Cook. He has more interceptions thrown at Michigan State than anybody. He is the single season leader at Michigan State for passing attempts and for yards, which he set in 2003. Do you know of whom I speak?

Speaker 3:
[61:07] More completions than Connor Cook?

Speaker 2:
[61:09] Yeah. Career.

Speaker 4:
[61:10] More interceptions.

Speaker 1:
[61:11] Is it Jeff Smoker?

Speaker 6:
[61:12] It's Jeff Smoker.

Speaker 3:
[61:15] Oh God, he did it again. Oh my God, look how he froze. Look how he froze on the screen.

Speaker 6:
[61:20] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[61:21] Jeff Smoker, unfortunate to be on the scene at a time before. Oh my God, did everybody disappear?

Speaker 4:
[61:30] I hear you.

Speaker 2:
[61:31] Whoa. No, I got you. Surber fucked with me there for a second.

Speaker 7:
[61:36] Well, your face is stuck in a funny picture.

Speaker 2:
[61:40] I can't see it.

Speaker 3:
[61:42] Your face is frozen.

Speaker 4:
[61:44] Like the end of the show when the gang is driving the car off the lift.

Speaker 2:
[61:49] Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4:
[61:49] It freezes right there.

Speaker 3:
[61:50] Ryan, I'll put it in Slack so you can see.

Speaker 2:
[61:52] I can't see it.

Speaker 7:
[61:54] You look like crying Charlie Brown.

Speaker 2:
[61:56] Surber, you keep making full screen, but I just see me talking. It's just very confusing.

Speaker 3:
[62:02] Oh wait, you're back. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[62:03] Oh yeah, that's terrible. Anyway, Jeff Smoker in the early aughts. Unfortunate to be caught in that time where it definitely was, hey, cigarettes were out. We weren't doing that, but we weren't onto vapes. So he had no natural place for Smoker to go. That's tough.

Speaker 3:
[62:21] I didn't think about that.

Speaker 2:
[62:23] Yeah. But I think now we can embrace a Pennsylvania Michigan state legend named Jeff Smoker.

Speaker 1:
[62:31] Man. Jeff Smoker is an incredible name.

Speaker 2:
[62:35] That's a King of the Hill ass name, right?

Speaker 1:
[62:37] That is. Yeah. Also, if you watched him play, Jeff Smoker was awesome because he'd be ass for a quarter. I mean, you're like, how did he ever play this game? Then third quarter would come on and you're like, Jeff Smoker is unstoppable.

Speaker 2:
[62:51] So yeah, that's my modern college football guy.

Speaker 1:
[62:55] Damn. Two for two here, man. This is impressive. Holly. Holly, you are up.

Speaker 3:
[63:01] Hello. This is a dangerously high-profile pick for a remember some guys draft, but this is a situation where I feel like those of us in this room will be much more inclined to say, oh yeah, that guy's way too famous than the lay person out on the street. If I were to ask you to name quarterbacks who were more famous in their career for the hits they took while quarterbacking than for their quarterbacking themselves, even though they were very good and would go on to the NFL, who's your first name?

Speaker 2:
[63:41] Rudy Carpenter.

Speaker 3:
[63:42] Correct. Rudy Carpenter.

Speaker 4:
[63:45] Also every Michigan State quarterback.

Speaker 2:
[63:46] Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3:
[63:48] I'm glad I didn't go that way because that would have been dangerously close to Ryan's pick. I am taking Rudy Carpenter, Arizona State quarterback from 2005 through 2008, who famously in his junior season, I believe started all 13 games for Arizona State and took 55 sacks, which no one but David Carr during his time with Houston, is allowed to look over it and be like, I feel you brother. The other thing that I love about Rudy Carpenter is that that was his junior season. Throughout his career, even heading into his senior season after the 55 sack season, Rudy Carpenter was an inveterate shit talker behind the line, which is awesome because his offensive line was terrible, and he would still get up there, line up before center and just jaw at the defense, who he knew were about to knock his dick in the dirt.

Speaker 2:
[64:42] To fold him in too.

Speaker 3:
[64:46] This did not shut him up in any way. He also, I remember, was famous for wearing pink socks. Just a man of limitless self-confidence, with the talent to back it up, if not perhaps the talent surrounding him. I am going to drop his NFL Draft Prospect headshot.

Speaker 2:
[65:07] Oh, I've seen it.

Speaker 3:
[65:09] You know Max Martini is the guy who played the dad half of the father and son, Jager Pilots and Pacific Rim. Rudy Carpenter looks like he's 45 in this photo, and I don't think you can run all of that down to him being redheaded and being in Arizona for four years.

Speaker 1:
[65:28] Let's see.

Speaker 3:
[65:29] He looks like he has a pension and he works for the phone company.

Speaker 1:
[65:34] Oh my God.

Speaker 3:
[65:38] That's a BYU quarterback who took an extra mission.

Speaker 7:
[65:41] You told me this guy could only jump 29 inches off the ground.

Speaker 1:
[65:47] That's a DUI headshot.

Speaker 3:
[65:48] To be fair, maybe they sacked him in mid-air.

Speaker 1:
[65:50] I don't mean that Rudy Carpenter looks drunk. I just mean he looks tired.

Speaker 6:
[65:54] Yeah, I would be.

Speaker 3:
[65:55] You would be too. Also, again, he took 55 sacks as a junior and came back as a senior.

Speaker 4:
[66:01] For all the talk about like, oh, the NFL prospects are too old these days. Oh, they're all 25. Like, dog, this man is 36.

Speaker 1:
[66:12] That's, yeah, Rudy, when people say, when people look at like, Bob Hope's all-star, all-American show.

Speaker 3:
[66:17] Yeah, Rudy Carpenter is an outbrain ad. He's like, see what this guy looks like today.

Speaker 1:
[66:21] When they're like, man, everyone on Penn State 1985 looks like they're 40. You're like, Rudy Carpenter looks 40 here, buddy. He probably looks younger now.

Speaker 2:
[66:30] Yeah, he's not getting sacked.

Speaker 1:
[66:34] Remember that he talks such shit and got sacked so hard, that during the holiday bowl, the entire Texas defense was going, Rudy, Rudy.

Speaker 3:
[66:44] I believe at one point, I think it was Clay Matthews in one of their USC games, just straight up pulls Rudy Carpenter down by the face mask, and one of the more blatant face masks I've ever seen. And no one around him on either team even looks irritated.

Speaker 1:
[67:03] They're just like, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[67:04] Not Arizona State for pulling Rudy down, not USC for getting a penalty. They're just like, yeah, well, you put your hand near him. That happens.

Speaker 1:
[67:10] Full Johnny Knoxville quarterback. Yes.

Speaker 3:
[67:13] Love that dude.

Speaker 1:
[67:15] God, that is so strong. That is so strong. All right. I think we're going to go four for four here. Okay. I think we're going to go four for four because I have selected a player who is of mythical proportions literally, figuratively, and in terms of legacy. I didn't make this any harder. I took Jason's route, didn't make this any harder than it had to be because there is so much in this man's name and so much in his career, and so much in his background. I am going to choose a true South Alabama Viking. I am going to choose someone who has, I think, a name that represents Alabama so accurately and in so many different ways. I'm going to choose someone who, yes, is from the modern era because he was at Alabama from 2008 to 2010. Shouts out to Foley, Alabama. I'm going to choose Atlanta Falcons great and Alabama Crimson Tide great in his full name, Quintorus Lopez, quote, Julio, unquote, Jones Jr. My God, what a name.

Speaker 2:
[68:35] Okay.

Speaker 6:
[68:37] Hmm.

Speaker 3:
[68:39] Flag.

Speaker 2:
[68:40] This is where I feel like you have aimed too high.

Speaker 3:
[68:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:43] You think I aimed too high?

Speaker 2:
[68:45] I think this is, I think in the spirit of Guy Remembering.

Speaker 3:
[68:48] This is like everybody remembers that guy.

Speaker 2:
[68:51] Right. Like, yeah, I think it's like-

Speaker 1:
[68:52] So you think there should be some effort?

Speaker 2:
[68:54] Well, I think part of-

Speaker 3:
[68:55] Isn't that not the point of Guy Remembering?

Speaker 2:
[68:56] I think part of Guy Remembering is, oh man, I haven't thought about X since Y. And it's like, I haven't thought about Julio Jones in a week, maybe. Especially coming from Atlanta.

Speaker 3:
[69:07] This is a-

Speaker 4:
[69:08] I mean, as a lifelong Atlanta Falcons fan, I think about Julio Jones every morning. I thank the good Lord for creating, for manifesting as Julio Jones during his time on Earth.

Speaker 3:
[69:22] Yeah, that is not who I thought you were going to pick when you said-

Speaker 1:
[69:27] Who did you think I was going to pick?

Speaker 3:
[69:28] You had a South- Well, you were talking about South, you were talking about South, a product of South Alabama, and you said he had a great name. I thought you were talking about 2020 South Alabama punter, Corliss Waitman.

Speaker 4:
[69:43] Obviously, that's where everyone's mind went.

Speaker 3:
[69:46] It's just one of my favorite South Alabama names.

Speaker 1:
[69:48] That's incredible.

Speaker 2:
[69:49] I think even staying on this franchise-

Speaker 3:
[69:51] He got drafted by the Steelers.

Speaker 2:
[69:52] Staying on this franchise-

Speaker 3:
[69:53] I know he wasn't drafted, he went to the Steelers though.

Speaker 2:
[69:56] Staying on guys who at least played in the state of Alabama, Roddy White would have been a more remembered some guy.

Speaker 3:
[70:02] Also, Corley Waittman also from Belgium, so you get to like, Corley Waittman.

Speaker 2:
[70:09] Yeah, I got to say, so far your draft gets enough for me. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1:
[70:15] That's all right. You know what?

Speaker 2:
[70:18] Corley Waittman is still in the league.

Speaker 3:
[70:20] He's on the 49ers. Hey.

Speaker 1:
[70:21] The experts have spoken. That's fine.

Speaker 3:
[70:26] But Spencer, if you were in a let's remember some guys circle up with the fellas.

Speaker 1:
[70:32] I probably would have gotten a week.

Speaker 3:
[70:34] Would you turn to them and be like, B. John Robinson?

Speaker 4:
[70:38] You're going to be like, Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3:
[70:41] Wait, I just realized that-

Speaker 1:
[70:43] There were some guys, Abe Lincoln.

Speaker 3:
[70:44] Spencer, I just realized this is your memento brain handicap, isn't it? Because this is like you forget everything that's happened this morning.

Speaker 2:
[70:51] All guys are new.

Speaker 3:
[70:53] Julio Jones is brand new and far away to you at the same time.

Speaker 2:
[70:56] Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3:
[70:57] Because you have psychic astigmatism.

Speaker 1:
[70:59] That's true. Because you know what my first pick was? I was like, I don't know if this is quite good enough. Captain Munderland.

Speaker 2:
[71:05] That's much better. That would have been better.

Speaker 1:
[71:07] All right. Then respectfully, can I pull an anti-mike dice?

Speaker 4:
[71:12] Pretend you did that.

Speaker 1:
[71:13] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[71:14] Because first of all, we can't afford Julio Jones. No.

Speaker 1:
[71:17] All right. Then I'm going to go back. We're going to go with Captain Munderland.

Speaker 4:
[71:20] Great pick. Great pick, Spencer. That's a great pick.

Speaker 1:
[71:25] Surber. A good player, too.

Speaker 3:
[71:27] Yeah. I feel like there's a draft where the more recent the guy, the lower profile he has to have been. If you're taking both a recent player and one who was an NFL star, you can't do that.

Speaker 4:
[71:46] All right.

Speaker 1:
[71:46] We'll go Captain Munderland.

Speaker 4:
[71:48] Great pick.

Speaker 3:
[71:49] He's going to draft Madonna in the next round, right?

Speaker 1:
[71:52] How do you know? God damn.

Speaker 2:
[71:54] All right. Now, do you get to go first now, Spencer? Let's see if you can. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[71:59] I will go first now and I'm going to take Madonna off the board who I had.

Speaker 4:
[72:04] She was a good ancient college football player.

Speaker 2:
[72:06] Vince Lombardi.

Speaker 1:
[72:08] Yeah. No, I think I adhered to the letter of the law here.

Speaker 3:
[72:12] Now, I just really want to know what your concept of remember some guys is though.

Speaker 1:
[72:16] Well, here we go. We've got ancient college football, and I'm going to select Dick Bumpus. Dick Bumpus, a 1970 all-American defensive line for the Arkansas Razorbacks. Dick Bumpus. That's B-U-M-P-A-S.

Speaker 4:
[72:30] My favorite part is it sounds like a misheard version of Dick Bumpus, right?

Speaker 1:
[72:36] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[72:36] This is like you ChatGPT Dick Bumpus and it comes up with this picture.

Speaker 4:
[72:40] Create an exact copy of Dick Bumpus. That's not it.

Speaker 1:
[72:44] Yes. Dick Bumpus. And next, in reverse order, I believe we have Ryan?

Speaker 2:
[72:54] No, it's Holly.

Speaker 1:
[72:55] It's Holly. Okay, Holly.

Speaker 3:
[72:57] Didn't I go third? Are we serpentining?

Speaker 2:
[72:58] Yeah, we are.

Speaker 1:
[72:59] Yep.

Speaker 3:
[73:00] Oh, okay. Hang on. With the second pick of our 2026 mock draft, a contraption of our own invention, I have selected a standout member of the 1992 Alabama National Championship football team, wide receiver Prince Wimbley. Now, Prince Wimbley is notable for a couple of reasons. First, memorable name. This is even on a 1992 Alabama Crimson Tide consensus and Apple Championship team that included such other names as Chris Mangum and Lemanski Hall, and some other folks you may have heard of like Dabo Swinney and George Teague. Anyway, on that staff, by the way, on Gene Sawing's staff that year, Mike DeBose, Ellis Johnson, and Mal Moore, among others. So anyway, but Prince Wembley after his time at Alabama, played for kind of a guy remembering series of teams himself. He played for the Arena League and the CFL, but among the teams he played for, the Las Vegas Posse, the Birmingham Barracudas, and the Memphis Pharaohs, which are very like guy remembering coded teams themselves. But anyway, I picked Prince because he is the subject of one of my all-time favorite sporting headlines. This is in the Orlando Sun Sentinel, December 1992, David O'Brien. He's no introvert, this Prince of Tides. Wow. Sorry. I'm just going to read the little first part. From their uniforms to their interviews to their touchdown celebrations or lack thereof, the rule in Alabama football has always been keep it bland. I like it when they would just say this kind of thing. There have been exceptions, Joe Namath, Kenny Stabler. It seems appropriate that perhaps the biggest current exception, the most outspoken and demonstrative of this Bama team, Hales from Miami, Home of the Tides, Swaggering Sugar Bowl Opponents. Meet Prince Wembley, Alabama flanker and man of a thousand or so nicknames, though Prince is not one of them. It's his father's name. This man literally did a please. My father's name is Prince. Call me Nave.

Speaker 1:
[75:34] Dr. Wembley.

Speaker 3:
[75:35] Squire. Anyway, that's all. Prince Wembley.

Speaker 1:
[75:41] Strong. Very strong.

Speaker 2:
[75:44] Alright. I may be verging into Spencer territory here because I'm going to give you a member of the pro football hall of fame. But I think this will probably work for purposes of college football. I'd like to take Florida Gator Jack Youngblood.

Speaker 3:
[76:04] I don't know who this is, and therefore will allow it.

Speaker 4:
[76:06] I have not thought about this guy in a very long time.

Speaker 1:
[76:09] I think about him every morning. I kind of do, actually. I'm not sure I know who this is.

Speaker 2:
[76:17] Okay. So Jack Youngblood played-

Speaker 4:
[76:18] So he's 76, which means Spencer grew up watching him.

Speaker 1:
[76:22] I went to class with him, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[76:23] Jack Youngblood played at Florida from 1968 to 1970, to give you a sense of where he is.

Speaker 3:
[76:29] He's an NFL person to know who this is.

Speaker 2:
[76:32] He played for the Rams.

Speaker 1:
[76:34] He was a teammate. Yeah, he was a teammate on the same line with Rosie Greer.

Speaker 3:
[76:37] I'm also deeply confused by there being a Florida Gator football player in the 70s.

Speaker 2:
[76:42] Yes. What?

Speaker 3:
[76:44] This is the first I'm hearing about any of this.

Speaker 2:
[76:47] So amongst his accomplishments, he was part of the team that was the unwitting test subjects for Gatorade.

Speaker 3:
[76:59] I do know who this is.

Speaker 2:
[77:00] And I'd like to read you this quote. Dr. Cain began experimenting with Gatorade my freshman year. He tried to kill us all. That first step was lethal. It was thick like syrup and had an aftertaste. Then it started to look like milk.

Speaker 3:
[77:15] Then it started to look like milk.

Speaker 4:
[77:18] So then they made it neon yellow.

Speaker 3:
[77:20] If you told me this was that guy, I would have been like, oh, yeah. I wouldn't have been able to identify his name.

Speaker 2:
[77:26] Yeah, Jack Youngblood also in true old school college football form, he kicked a career long 42-yard field goal that ended up being the margin of victory in his first collegiate game.

Speaker 1:
[77:41] Hey, Ryan, was he a kicker?

Speaker 2:
[77:42] No, he played defensive line.

Speaker 3:
[77:45] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[77:47] So, yeah, I would like to go...

Speaker 4:
[77:48] The longest scoring streak in all of college football.

Speaker 6:
[77:52] Still alive!

Speaker 2:
[77:53] Uh-huh. Also, his name was Jack Youngblood.

Speaker 1:
[77:58] And do we know anything about how he played a Super Bowl, Ryan?

Speaker 2:
[78:04] I know he had a... What was it he fractured? Was it his arm or his leg?

Speaker 1:
[78:08] Leg. He played a Super Bowl on a broken leg.

Speaker 2:
[78:12] That's right. That's right. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[78:14] He played a Super Bowl on a broken leg. That is in a tradition of Jack Youngblood playing with missing parts. He did not believe it was necessary to have all of your bones to play a football game, or even functional organs. There are stories of him in Florida of like, yeah, I don't know, Jack fell on a pipe and he's impaled on it. He got three sacks and seven tackles for loss. He's just a gamer. He's just a gamer, that guy.

Speaker 2:
[78:36] Yeah. He had a consecutive games played streak in NFL that lasted until 1984 when he had to sit out his first football game since he had been a collegiate player in 1970. It was because he'd ruptured a disc in his lower back two weeks earlier than that.

Speaker 1:
[78:53] Yeah. Jack Youngblood, the body. Debatable concept.

Speaker 2:
[78:57] He shouldn't be alive.

Speaker 1:
[78:58] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[79:00] Youngblood, but like everything else in him is-

Speaker 1:
[79:02] Gator great.

Speaker 2:
[79:05] He was also nominated for an Emmy for Best Supporting Actor for his work in something called Cat Squad, colon, Python Wolf.

Speaker 6:
[79:15] What? Jack Youngblood, Cat Squad, Python Wolf.

Speaker 4:
[79:21] You want to talk about Metal Gear shit.

Speaker 3:
[79:23] That sounds like you activated a sleeper cell.

Speaker 1:
[79:27] Uh-huh. You just did.

Speaker 3:
[79:28] Me.

Speaker 6:
[79:29] That sounds like you.

Speaker 3:
[79:30] That's an Alachua County sleeper cell activation code.

Speaker 2:
[79:34] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[79:34] That's the summer soldier.

Speaker 2:
[79:36] His autobiography was just titled Blood.

Speaker 6:
[79:44] Fuck.

Speaker 1:
[79:45] Is it possible he's the coolest man ever born?

Speaker 4:
[79:50] Again, don't overthink it, man. What should I call my autobiography?

Speaker 6:
[79:54] Blood.

Speaker 3:
[79:55] I apologize to Reverend Youngblood. I was unfamiliar with all aspects of your game.

Speaker 2:
[80:00] Again, he's in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He's in the College Football Hall of Fame. His name is in the Gators' Ring of Honor. I think he's the first Florida player to have his number retired.

Speaker 3:
[80:09] None of it's for the good shit.

Speaker 2:
[80:10] But none of it is for-

Speaker 3:
[80:13] None of it is for the important stuff.

Speaker 2:
[80:15] None of it's for Python Wolf, that's for sure.

Speaker 4:
[80:17] You know, Python Wolf was the sequel to Cat Squad with Jack Youngblood. Jack Youngblood was also in Cat Squad 1.

Speaker 3:
[80:27] Oh my god.

Speaker 4:
[80:28] The entire Cat Squad-iverse.

Speaker 3:
[80:30] Wait, William Friedkin directed this?

Speaker 2:
[80:32] Yes, 100 percent.

Speaker 1:
[80:34] Sick.

Speaker 2:
[80:35] It's all like he plays a Secret Service agent who hated big cities like Washington DC and New York and was banished to Alaska.

Speaker 7:
[80:44] This is Spencer wants to be.

Speaker 1:
[80:47] This is the original scores composed by Ennio Morricone?

Speaker 2:
[80:51] Yeah, man. Cat Squad were hard. This is a TV movie.

Speaker 3:
[80:56] Did Morricone have gambling debts that I did not know about?

Speaker 1:
[80:59] Yes. This is written by the same brain trusted. Oh, shit.

Speaker 3:
[81:02] Miguel Ferrer is in this.

Speaker 1:
[81:04] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[81:04] At the age of 56, he was the co-host of Walmart's Great Outdoors for four years.

Speaker 2:
[81:10] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[81:10] Whatever that means.

Speaker 6:
[81:11] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[81:11] This man did everything.

Speaker 6:
[81:13] I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[81:13] Morricone also composed the score to Cat Squad itself?

Speaker 2:
[81:17] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[81:18] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[81:19] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[81:20] Morricone liked craps. He was a big fan of craps.

Speaker 6:
[81:24] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[81:26] Evidently, because, man, he's doing some work. This is the same brain trust that put together to live and die in LA, man.

Speaker 3:
[81:31] Baby Bradley Whitford is in this first one.

Speaker 1:
[81:35] That's incredible.

Speaker 4:
[81:37] Ryan, this is our best poll so far.

Speaker 2:
[81:38] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[81:41] I'm just reading this Wiki page. There's so much other stuff.

Speaker 2:
[81:45] Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot.

Speaker 6:
[81:46] Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 3:
[81:48] This, the first Cat Squad was praised by critics?

Speaker 6:
[81:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[81:55] Listen, he got nominated. Holly, he got nominated for an Emmy for the sequel to Cat Squad.

Speaker 3:
[82:04] I'm confused because I've never heard of this, and I love movies like this.

Speaker 2:
[82:10] I don't know. I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 4:
[82:13] I mean, Cat Squad was praised by critics for having an intelligent script.

Speaker 3:
[82:19] I'm confused that there's a movie called Cat Squad, Python Wolf that I don't own on VHS.

Speaker 2:
[82:25] It aired on NBC.

Speaker 3:
[82:27] Of course.

Speaker 2:
[82:28] Filming took place in Baja, California and Montreal.

Speaker 3:
[82:32] I like how everybody is silhouetted in flames on the cover of Python Wolf's VHS case, but they make Deborah Van Valkenburg stand sideways so you can see your tits. That's right.

Speaker 1:
[82:46] That's cinema right there. By the way, Jack Youngblood prior to the 1981 season had emergency surgery to remove a hot dog-sized blood clot from under his left arm.

Speaker 3:
[82:56] Might have been a hot dog. Wait, hot dog-sized or shaped?

Speaker 1:
[83:00] Hot dog-sized blood clot.

Speaker 4:
[83:02] Literally a hot dog.

Speaker 3:
[83:04] That is, okay, that's a unit of volume that I was not previously aware of.

Speaker 2:
[83:11] I bet you're going to think about Jack Youngblood a lot more after this segment.

Speaker 4:
[83:14] I have no idea.

Speaker 3:
[83:15] I'm going to go watch Python Wolf.

Speaker 4:
[83:17] This guy has been remembered.

Speaker 3:
[83:18] Hang on. I got to go find letterbox reviews for Python Wolf.

Speaker 4:
[83:21] This is the third year.

Speaker 2:
[83:22] Also, is he from Jacksonville?

Speaker 6:
[83:24] You fucking know he's from Jacksonville.

Speaker 5:
[83:27] Fuck Tim Teemo.

Speaker 1:
[83:30] What a man.

Speaker 3:
[83:35] I don't know anybody who's seen this movie. Boo.

Speaker 1:
[83:41] I'm sorry. When he was helping Merlin and Phil Olsen with their summer camp in Logan, Utah, a fight in the parking lot of a bar resulted in Youngblood having a 44 stuck in his eye and the trigger pulled. Fortunately, the chamber was empty, although other chambers were not.

Speaker 2:
[84:01] Dude, he would have played with a missing eye.

Speaker 1:
[84:04] Dude, I was going to say, Jack Youngblood is like, it's another day.

Speaker 4:
[84:08] The only quote on his IMDB page where both of the Cat Squad movies have four out of 10 star ratings which is the sweet spot. The only quote from Jack Youngblood is when asked in 1984 about his modeling contract, quote, football is something I'm into maybe six months of the year, but underwear, well, that's day in, day out.

Speaker 3:
[84:33] What wisdom.

Speaker 4:
[84:34] What a guy.

Speaker 3:
[84:35] Jack Youngblood, come on the Fullcast.

Speaker 1:
[84:38] Maybe the greatest Florida Gator of all time. I'm just going to say, by the way, early returns, Mel Kiper Jr. has this as the number one class, Ryan, after this pick.

Speaker 4:
[84:51] There is no way I can top that pick, but I still have a decent one. I'm not going to compare, so don't get your hopes up. I feel very much like the Jets right now, right?

Speaker 7:
[85:03] Let's not get our hopes up.

Speaker 4:
[85:05] We're picking for the future.

Speaker 7:
[85:06] Damn.

Speaker 4:
[85:07] However, there was a point when this upcoming guy was considered the greatest football player ever. He was the first professional football player. He was a three-time All-America. For his time, he was massively powerful, which means he was 6'3, 2'10. We're talking about the biggest person that most people had ever seen. We're going with Yale lineman Pudge Heffelfinger.

Speaker 6:
[85:33] Goddamn.

Speaker 4:
[85:35] Who, 1888 through 1891, he was just like this monstrous figure. This is the Trent Williams of his time, 210 pounds. Also, I want to talk about the way he was described. I think this was one of his assistant coaches described him as, The freshman Heffelfinger looked like the most demure, gentle, self-effacing individual that could be imagined. His usual posture was head bowed, shoulders stopped, eyes to the ground with no idea whatever, of his marvelous power and natural nature given ability. Apparently, this massive, quote fingers, gigantic individual was just so gorgeous that he made the assistant coaches talk about him in the horniest ways that you just don't see anymore. Probably, it's probably a good thing. But he went on to be Cowell's first head coach. He also coached Lehigh in Minnesota, first pro football player. Pudge Heffelfinger.

Speaker 1:
[86:36] Is there a picture of this man?

Speaker 4:
[86:38] Yeah. You can gaze upon the beauty.

Speaker 1:
[86:41] I'm actually hesitant to do so.

Speaker 4:
[86:43] Prepare yourself. He looks like a 1800s Channing Tatum.

Speaker 2:
[86:48] Yeah, he looks handsome.

Speaker 1:
[86:50] No, that's a handsome man.

Speaker 2:
[86:51] You'd fuck this dude.

Speaker 6:
[86:53] No, it's a big square head.

Speaker 1:
[86:55] But you know what this means though? When they're like, oh, to gaze upon him, that meant he looked amazing coming out of the shower. That meant that every coach was like, that's a sexy man. Look at that.

Speaker 6:
[87:04] He's got several teeth.

Speaker 1:
[87:06] He's got all 14 of his teeth.

Speaker 4:
[87:08] Right.

Speaker 1:
[87:08] All 14 of government-approved teeth.

Speaker 3:
[87:10] That's a provider.

Speaker 4:
[87:11] This is the time in college football when you're allowed to just punch people in the face, right? So like, wow, he's got most of his bones still. Actually, he was doing the face-maxxing, the hammer-smashing stuff. That's how his jaw got like that. He's like, hey, bro, punch me in the face for three hours, and I'll be even more chiseled.

Speaker 1:
[87:29] I'll look even better, yeah. This is a guy, they're like, yes, he hasn't had a single-digit ripped off in farm equipment.

Speaker 4:
[87:35] You just got 1800s mogged.

Speaker 1:
[87:38] Yeah. What a pick, Jason. That's incredible.

Speaker 4:
[87:42] It's decent. I feel fine about it.

Speaker 1:
[87:44] No, I mean, that's good. He's no Jack Youngblood.

Speaker 4:
[87:46] No, no, but it's not going to be.

Speaker 1:
[87:47] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[87:48] For the third round.

Speaker 2:
[87:49] He was the Jack Youngblood of his time.

Speaker 4:
[87:50] It was the 1800s Jack Youngblood. I'm comfortable with that.

Speaker 2:
[87:53] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[87:54] They didn't have cat squad at the time, so what was he supposed to do? Yeah. The next round, we're pivoting away from college football. We're going with all sports in general. Again, I'm going to follow the same tactic that led me to general booty. Not going to overthink it. I'm going to go with a name that for my entire life, I have barely been able to wrap my mind around this being real, this being a person. I'm still not entirely convinced. Dick Trickle, come on down.

Speaker 2:
[88:22] Oh, man.

Speaker 1:
[88:24] Yeah, the legend, man.

Speaker 2:
[88:27] That's really good. Fuck.

Speaker 4:
[88:31] His name's Dick Trickle.

Speaker 2:
[88:32] His name is Dick Trickle.

Speaker 4:
[88:34] And people just say that like it's OK to say. You could turn on the television, not even be looking for NASCAR, and just have someone saying that name to you.

Speaker 7:
[88:47] There was a time when you could watch NASCAR and hear them say, Dick Trickle in the lead. Now let's get under the pits with Jack O'Root.

Speaker 4:
[88:54] Yeah, it's messed up.

Speaker 7:
[88:56] It's just real things that got uttered.

Speaker 3:
[88:58] Also, can I pause to give a southern accolade to Jason? I have been around NASCAR my entire life. We were very much a racing family growing up. I have never heard in all the various southern accents that have entered and exited my life. I don't think I've ever heard anybody add an extra syllable to the front half of NASCAR the way you just did. It was like NASCAR. I just wanted to say I really admire that. I thought that was a two syllable ceiling. You punched through that.

Speaker 4:
[89:27] I think I'm probably greatly embellishing it because it's not at all part of my mental vocabulary. So to me, it is far more southern than I would be in that rural sense. You know what I mean? To me, it's like, it's going to get an accent beyond the one that I might or might not have at any given time.

Speaker 3:
[89:48] It really worked, though. I was very impressed by that.

Speaker 1:
[89:52] That's a strong one.

Speaker 2:
[89:54] Dick Trickle?

Speaker 7:
[89:56] Dick Trickle.

Speaker 2:
[89:57] Now I feel derivative. But so I went to baseball because I feel like baseball, if we're allowed to include nicknames.

Speaker 3:
[90:03] You've meant such a commanding lead, you could say whatever you want at this point.

Speaker 1:
[90:06] Yeah, I mean, you're in gravy time, man. That's right.

Speaker 2:
[90:09] Give me 19th century baseball pitcher, Cannonball Titcombe. Cannonball was not his real name, it was Liddell. Titcombe was his real name.

Speaker 1:
[90:24] Even Liddell Titcombe was incredible.

Speaker 2:
[90:26] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[90:29] We do this so much, why can't we ever just be like Cannonball is my last, why can we swap first names for whatever we want, but not family names?

Speaker 4:
[90:38] I don't really want to search it, but is Titcombe a bird or something?

Speaker 2:
[90:42] That's Titmouse. Unclear.

Speaker 3:
[90:44] No, Titmouse is a bird.

Speaker 2:
[90:46] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[90:47] No, wait, Titmouse is a mouse.

Speaker 4:
[90:49] I mean, there might be a bird called Titcombe.

Speaker 3:
[90:50] There is a Titbird, I forget what it is. I think it's just called Tit.

Speaker 2:
[90:56] Most confusing, it seems that Cannonball has been-

Speaker 3:
[90:58] The word derives from Titmouse, sorry.

Speaker 2:
[91:01] It seems that Cannonball has been applied to him after his death. He was never called Cannonball in life, for some reason they've decided to call him Cannonball at death, which is-

Speaker 4:
[91:10] Is that how he died?

Speaker 2:
[91:11] Very confused, maybe.

Speaker 1:
[91:17] Let's see, Holly is next, correct? Or is it me?

Speaker 3:
[91:19] Yeah, hello. I have perhaps the semantic opposite of these names. I have selected with my third round pick, Chinese women's tennis player Li Na.

Speaker 1:
[91:36] Efficient.

Speaker 3:
[91:37] Yeah. She was the first Chinese player to win a WTA Tour title. She was the first to reach a major singles quarterfinal, the first to reach a major singles final, and the first Chinese women's player in the top 10. I enjoyed following her early in my career because I was covering a lot of tennis at SB Nation. She was so funny in these interviews. When there are players who have a language barrier in interviews, like in these on-court interviews after major conferences, it can get super fucking awkward. She always had this way of just turning it into something light and something funny. The players are never the ones making it awkward. It's always like the journalists. But she had this one interview with Mary Carrillo where it was like her English is very good, like Lina's English is great. But it's almost like she had to spend time figuring out what she wanted to say at, say, the French Open and so it kind of removed a filter on what she would say, and she would be a little less diplomatic than a lot of other players would be. She had this one French Open match in 2011 against Francesca. And she told Mary Carrillo after she was like, you know, Francesca is a little older than me, so I wanted to keep her running. Which is just, it's very honest. It doesn't sound like, it doesn't, it's not up there with football trash talk, but for tennis, this was wild.

Speaker 1:
[93:18] It's powerful, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[93:20] And once she had one other great moment with Mary Carrillo, who after she won the French Open, and she raises the cup, and she's like, she's like happy and giddy, and she's, she's doing her, her post-trophy championship interview. And Mary Carrillo goes, you'll never have to buy a drink in China. And she just kind of gives her this little blank look because they're like, that's an idiom, right? She doesn't know what that means. And so Mary tries again and she goes, everyone's going to buy you drinks. And she goes, oh, yes, I think I will drink a lot. I love her so much. Anyway, thank you, Lina, for many, many years of watching you play, just kick ass tennis and for making many Saturday morning news desks shifts of mine a lot more entertaining.

Speaker 1:
[94:14] Jason and I had similar paths. I was going to go between two NASCAR drivers, and I opted for Curtis Turner. Curtis Turner. Does anybody know anything about Curtis Turner? No. Okay. One, you got to know he's from Floyd, Virginia.

Speaker 3:
[94:35] Two.

Speaker 1:
[94:36] Yeah. Two, his parents were bootleggers. Three, well, never caught with alcohol, all right?

Speaker 3:
[94:48] I don't even know where Floyd, Virginia is.

Speaker 1:
[94:52] He did get into a gunfight and an escape from a military base, where he was found at his dad's house with a bullet-riddled car and 500 pounds of sugar that he stole from a military base.

Speaker 2:
[95:08] Can't prove shit.

Speaker 1:
[95:10] He said it was to make apple butter.

Speaker 3:
[95:13] Oh man, this is nowhere Sylvania. The best I can do for Floyd, Virginia. Surber, you'll appreciate this. If you get up to Mount Airy and you just keep driving north and you hit Blacksburg, you've gone too far.

Speaker 1:
[95:35] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[95:39] This place is more into Nowheresville than Fancy Gap, home of Frank Beamer.

Speaker 1:
[95:46] Yeah. What you got to know about him, one, his nickname was the Blonde Blizzard of Virginia. He was nicknamed Pops, but not because he was old, but because he would pop people on the racetrack with his car. Just an absolute OG. Yeah, just a guy who was one of the first guys that he was in the group that came up with the the Daytona 500 basically racing at Daytona. There's a story about Curtis. He tried to unionize NASCAR, got fucked over in the process, but still tried it. He also there's a story about Curtis that made me think he was cool forever, which is he was in the pits and he had done a Dale Earnhardt, right? Dale Earnhardt had done a Curtis Turner, had knocked a guy on the track and taken him out of the race. He was in the pits working on his car and the guy came up behind him with a wrench, seeking to knock him out with said wrench. Curtis Turner reached into his suit, pulled out a pistol and said, hey, where are you going with that wrench? My guy said, Curtis, I was just going to set it down right here for you. There you go, buddy. He turned around and walked away. Also Curtis Turner because he was a race car driver. He didn't die racing in a car. He died flying a plane. That's right. With his buddy, Clarence King, the golfer.

Speaker 3:
[97:12] I love it not in consultation, two of you picked race car drivers.

Speaker 1:
[97:15] Curtis Turner is so cool. Also his name, Curtis. Curtis is just a badass name. So yeah, there's my guy, Curtis Turner.

Speaker 4:
[97:24] It's so cool to be a race car driver named Turner. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[97:27] Literally.

Speaker 4:
[97:29] Talk about non-native determinism.

Speaker 1:
[97:31] Yeah. Curtis Turner is one of the coolest dudes that people generally do not know about.

Speaker 4:
[97:40] On we go to round four, final round.

Speaker 6:
[97:43] This is when it all comes down to this.

Speaker 4:
[97:46] This is going to be non-athletes is the theme of this round.

Speaker 1:
[97:51] Yes, non-athletes. Since we're going in reverse order, I'm going to make my brief, ripped horn.

Speaker 3:
[97:57] That's way too famous.

Speaker 1:
[97:58] Ripped horn. No, ripped horn. I'm just name, fame, taking it. Ripped horn. You know what I need him for? Stuff.

Speaker 4:
[98:06] Is he like the thousandth most famous actor?

Speaker 1:
[98:09] I mean, yeah, he might be.

Speaker 3:
[98:10] That's way higher than that.

Speaker 1:
[98:12] You think?

Speaker 3:
[98:14] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[98:15] Maybe at some point.

Speaker 3:
[98:16] Okay. You're too old to have been in school when Dodgeball was like the beating heart of a generation of cinema.

Speaker 1:
[98:23] I am old enough to know that he beat up Norman Mailer on film with a hammer.

Speaker 3:
[98:27] That's Patches O'Hoolahan.

Speaker 1:
[98:28] Yeah. So I'm going to select rip torn.

Speaker 3:
[98:33] All right.

Speaker 4:
[98:34] Great pick. All right.

Speaker 7:
[98:35] We're going to have an intergalactic kegger on our hands.

Speaker 1:
[98:38] An intergalactic kegger. We have a selection from Ryan. Since he has had to depart, I am going to be announcing his pick for him. All right.

Speaker 3:
[98:52] Don't fuck this up.

Speaker 1:
[98:53] I am not going to pick. I'm not going to fuck this up because, man, the legend, the man, the myth, the legend, he is selecting Luther Ronzoni Vandross Jr. Which if you did not know-

Speaker 3:
[99:06] Is that a different Luther Vandross?

Speaker 1:
[99:09] That is Luther Vandross' given name.

Speaker 3:
[99:12] Okay. So there's not two.

Speaker 1:
[99:14] There's not two.

Speaker 3:
[99:15] The things I ask will become apparent with my pick.

Speaker 4:
[99:18] So we're strongly emphasizing the middle name here.

Speaker 1:
[99:21] Luther Ronzoni Vandross.

Speaker 3:
[99:23] Luther Vandross also too famous for a guy remembering.

Speaker 4:
[99:27] But did we know the Ronzoni part?

Speaker 3:
[99:30] Wait, is he like a pasta scion?

Speaker 1:
[99:33] He is not. Now, mind you, Luther Vandross, among his other accomplishments, was the founder of the first Patti LaPelle fan club. This is my favorite Luther Vandross.

Speaker 3:
[99:45] Was this after he was already famous or before?

Speaker 1:
[99:47] This is when he was in high school. Okay.

Speaker 3:
[99:49] Oh, that's way better.

Speaker 1:
[99:51] It is way better. Yeah. So yes, Ryan has selected a powerful pick, Luther Ronzoni Vandross Jr. Solid. Solid. Holly.

Speaker 3:
[100:05] The reason I asked if this was a different Luther Vandross is because I have selected with my fourth pick, Jonathan Richard McDaniel, known an actor and rapper known by his stage name Lil J. This is not the same rapper Lil J who would later become Young Jeezy and then Jeezy. This is Lil J who played Raven's boyfriend and later ex-husband on the Disney Channel shows That's So Raven and Raven's Home. Wow.

Speaker 1:
[100:39] Okay. This is a solid pick. Jason.

Speaker 4:
[100:44] And finally, closing us down. This young man was born in 1916 in Rungee, Texas.

Speaker 1:
[100:54] What?

Speaker 4:
[100:55] A town that is now 900 people. So imagine what it was like 100 years ago. The son of, of course, Floyd and Amanda King. This young man's name, as recorded on the census, was Pervert King. Now later, a World War II draft registration card indicated his name might have been intended to be Pervay King, like P-V-R-V-E-T. However, it is recorded that, that according to the documents, the US. Census documents, there was a young man in Runge, Texas named Pervert King.

Speaker 1:
[101:40] That's so much pressure.

Speaker 3:
[101:42] Who are your people, Pervert King?

Speaker 7:
[101:45] That's so much pressure on a young man.

Speaker 3:
[101:47] Of the Charleston Pervert Kings.

Speaker 4:
[101:49] Imagine being a totally vanilla guy. You know what I mean? I'm not really into all that. I know you might assume.

Speaker 3:
[101:56] He never had to be on the apps. Pervert King never had to be on the apps.

Speaker 4:
[102:02] Everybody thinks I'm into all types of shit. Nope.

Speaker 6:
[102:04] Just pretty straight laced.

Speaker 1:
[102:07] What are you looking for in a woman?

Speaker 5:
[102:09] I'm simple.

Speaker 4:
[102:11] I'm simple.

Speaker 6:
[102:14] I ain't ready for all this despite my name.

Speaker 1:
[102:19] Come on and cuddle with the Pervert King.

Speaker 4:
[102:22] You want to go on a very normal date? Hi, I'm Pervert King. Normal. I emphasize. I am the most normal guy. There are seven people in Rungy, Texas, and I am the most normal.

Speaker 3:
[102:32] Mama, daddy, I met somebody.

Speaker 4:
[102:38] This is Pervert.

Speaker 1:
[102:41] These are my four children.

Speaker 3:
[102:42] There's not even a good nickname out of that. This is Pervy.

Speaker 1:
[102:46] Perv. My four children, Pervert, racist, crime, and beefy.

Speaker 4:
[102:52] Yeah, like his brother's name was Lloyd. Lloyd King, a normal name. What are we going to call the second one?

Speaker 1:
[103:00] It's French.

Speaker 3:
[103:02] This is the dark side of letting one parent choose names for one child, and then the next one gets to pick one.

Speaker 4:
[103:08] Yeah, like mom went with Lloyd, normal name. It's a name, right? And dad's like, watch this.

Speaker 3:
[103:14] This is absolutely a dad's selection. Dad said, watch this in the delivery shanty or wherever they were delivered from.

Speaker 6:
[103:22] Behold, the one who was prophesied. My apprentice. He has arrived to do nasty, weird shit. The list of things he's into, incomprehensible.

Speaker 1:
[103:37] That's an anime from like 1991.

Speaker 4:
[103:42] Again, Metal Gear is real.

Speaker 1:
[103:45] Pervert Demon King.

Speaker 6:
[103:47] They call him the Pervert King.

Speaker 1:
[103:50] Hey man, you want to come over to my house? I got a 12 pack of Surge. We can just ride our bikes over there. We can go watch Pervert Demon King 3.

Speaker 4:
[103:57] My buddy's coming over. Cool. His name's Pervert King.

Speaker 1:
[104:01] We'll invite his brother.

Speaker 4:
[104:02] What's his name? Lloyd.

Speaker 3:
[104:04] Class, we have a substitute teacher today.

Speaker 1:
[104:07] Mr. King. What's your first name?

Speaker 4:
[104:11] We don't talk about that.

Speaker 3:
[104:13] No, you know how substitute teachers sometimes will let kids call them by their first name to gain rapport?

Speaker 4:
[104:18] Right, yeah, because I'm a cool teacher.

Speaker 3:
[104:20] My name is Mr. King. You guys can call me Pervert.

Speaker 4:
[104:22] Call me Pervert.

Speaker 3:
[104:25] Call me Pervert, he said.

Speaker 4:
[104:26] God, that would make Moby-Doo so much better. Like, we all just get to shout the word pervert. We love this guy.

Speaker 3:
[104:32] Somebody dig up Herman Melville and tell him we found a better name for his dumbass book.

Speaker 1:
[104:37] Call me Pervert. He was on the high seas looking for sperm.

Speaker 4:
[104:48] And Cuddles.

Speaker 1:
[104:50] Cuddles? That's what the Cuddlefish is.

Speaker 4:
[104:54] The book is about whale facts and cuddles, right? It's not actually about perverts.

Speaker 1:
[104:57] No, that's literally what the book is about.

Speaker 4:
[105:00] It's about I'm so damn cold and lonely. I'm not a pervert. I just need snuggles.

Speaker 3:
[105:04] Yeah, that's why they call it Cuddlefish.

Speaker 1:
[105:06] That's right.

Speaker 3:
[105:07] I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1:
[105:09] And then when the intimacy becomes too much, ink disappears.

Speaker 6:
[105:14] Time to do something manly. I didn't spend all night cuddling with the homies.

Speaker 3:
[105:18] Spencer, you were talking about a mostly useless superpower. I think that's the one I would want. I just want to be able to shoot ink. It's not acid. It doesn't blind my enemies or anything unless I can hit them right in the eyes with it Mario Kart style. I just want to be able to shoot ink out of the palms of my hands.

Speaker 1:
[105:34] Yeah, and disappear?

Speaker 3:
[105:35] Any time. An unlimited amount of ink.

Speaker 1:
[105:38] Or just stay there and just shoot ink. She's still here?

Speaker 3:
[105:44] Oh yeah, I would not use this for disguise.

Speaker 1:
[105:49] Remember kids, Moby Dick, a classic about snuggling with the bros at sea.

Speaker 3:
[105:53] That makes it sound so much better.

Speaker 4:
[105:56] It's fantastic. You're going to learn so much about whales and cuddling.

Speaker 1:
[106:00] Whales and cuddling.

Speaker 3:
[106:01] If it was just a book of whale facts, I would have found it much better.

Speaker 7:
[106:04] Holly, it is a book of whale facts.

Speaker 3:
[106:07] There's other shit in there and I'm impatient.

Speaker 1:
[106:09] Not that much shit to be honest.

Speaker 3:
[106:10] I don't care what happens to these people. Just give me the whale facts. Show me the whale facts.

Speaker 1:
[106:16] Yeah. Show you the whale facts and then cuddling with the homies at sea.

Speaker 3:
[106:21] It's possible that the person whose idea of a good video game is, let's go look at some fish, has a different idea of what good entertainment means.

Speaker 1:
[106:31] No, Herman Melville, let's go look at the fish.

Speaker 4:
[106:34] He would have been locked the fuck in on that game. You're telling me I don't have to write about them? I have a device full of fish?

Speaker 3:
[106:43] This is the most affection I've ever felt towards him. The future is amazing.

Speaker 4:
[106:52] I think it's time for podcast business.

Speaker 3:
[106:55] Oh, God.

Speaker 1:
[106:58] Podcast business, what's the business?

Speaker 5:
[107:01] Podcast business, it's a business.

Speaker 1:
[107:03] Podcast business, cuddling with the homies on the high seas. We're cuddling and got a blanket and we've got some well facts.

Speaker 4:
[107:10] So speaking of the high seas and the romance and knowledge that are both available for you out there, if you take to them, I am obviously because the Washington Huskies have been the smartest, bravest and most moral university based on the most recent update I've heard. I'm looking at homefieldapparel.com and I'm looking at Washington Gear and holy shit, this is a great collection. You got the Bowdown Puffy Hat. I just recently bought the Almost Heaven West Virginia Puffy Hat. This is a strong consideration as well. It's pretty aggressive if you're around people who don't know what University of Washington is. Also, the main thing I want to talk about is this sail gating shirt. Strong. Very 80s style, almost a little bit vaporwave sail gating. Phenomenal shirt. And just so much more. So much more. As folks as always, this is our usual segment, looking at homefieldapparel.com for clothes we would like to own.

Speaker 1:
[108:14] Yeah, get you a sail. Listen, bow down, woof woof, get you some UW gear at homefieldapparel.com.

Speaker 4:
[108:23] I also recently acquired the, they have a new Jackie Robinson collection. Jackie Robinson was a college athlete. For those who don't know, UCLA played every sport. He was good at all of them.

Speaker 1:
[108:33] All of them.

Speaker 4:
[108:34] He was one of the best college football players in the country. He was one of the best track athletes in the country. And then, by the way, might have been the best second baseman ever. No big deal as a professional. But like, extremely good, extremely cool. UCLA Jackie Robinson stuff new at homefieldapparel.com. I also got my kid. He had another UGA thing. Because there's a lot of those. Next. Next. Our patreon.com/shutdownfullcast is our Patreon. There's stuff there. And I just want to throw this. I just want to say this. If you like that 30 seconds where we started talking about an X-Men football line up, I haven't told this to anyone, but I have a complete X-Men starting 22. It's unimpeachable. No one could do it better. I have it written down. I don't know if we'll get to it. I don't know if we'll do that on our Patreon. But I have floated it at a time in the past. And if it ever ends up anywhere, that's where it'll go. patreon.com/shutdownfullcast.

Speaker 3:
[109:30] I would like to hear about this.

Speaker 1:
[109:32] I'm just going to go ahead and put a vote in for that right now. Just to tantalize people. But also for my own edification, because I have thoughts. I just want to just, can you answer one question?

Speaker 4:
[109:44] Just as a question?

Speaker 1:
[109:45] Possibly. What side of the ball did you put Colossus on?

Speaker 4:
[109:50] Well, that's an offensive lineman without question.

Speaker 1:
[109:52] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[109:54] He's a protector. He's not a violent guy by nature. He's just huge and strong. He's more a protector than an attacker. Also, there are additional roster reasons why Colossus would be on the offensive line. You want to pair him with people he would care the most about protecting.

Speaker 1:
[110:13] I see the psychological manipulation.

Speaker 3:
[110:15] You've got Kitty back there in the slot. Sorry, I'm not giving stuff away.

Speaker 4:
[110:18] Kitties are running back. Literally no one can tackle her.

Speaker 1:
[110:23] Okay, good.

Speaker 4:
[110:23] That's it. You get two. That's it. That's it.

Speaker 1:
[110:25] Two is free.

Speaker 3:
[110:26] Understood.

Speaker 1:
[110:28] You'll have to pay for the rest on the Fullcast Patreon, which you can join for $4 a month and receive bonus material. Unless you want to give us $1,000 a month or what was our $10 million tier?

Speaker 4:
[110:44] Yeah, $70 million. We will all retire.

Speaker 1:
[110:48] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[110:48] We'll give you the feed.

Speaker 1:
[110:50] Yeah, for the rest of our lives.

Speaker 4:
[110:52] You do it for 10 years and you skip a payment, we're taking it back over.

Speaker 1:
[110:56] That's right. We're back on the air.

Speaker 3:
[110:57] It's only fair.

Speaker 1:
[111:01] I would love that, that if they stopped and we put an episode, they're like, oh no. What the fuck? My card expired. Oh no.

Speaker 4:
[111:08] Hold on.

Speaker 1:
[111:09] Let me get that back on there.

Speaker 4:
[111:14] Next is lightning round it.

Speaker 1:
[111:16] Channel 6. That's channel6.goes.io. That is the newsletter that Holly and I put out. Two things a week for the low price of $10 a month. This week, we're going to have a seminar where I'm going to help. If you are an interested future donor to the Charity Bowl, I will concierge service you. I will give you a team based on your preferences, personality, and your general vibe. I will give you a team to donate for, and perhaps, who can say, to root for and enjoy a relationship for the rest of your college football life if you are unaffiliated or looking for a new squad. I will do that for you on a Channel 6 live webinar. In addition, you will get our free notice letter on Friday if you sign up with your email. That's channel6.ghost.io. Next.

Speaker 4:
[112:06] I write a newsletter for the Athletics. It's called Until Saturday. It's almost entirely about college football though, around this time of year. It's about this Oklahoma softball woman who's basically like Mecca Barry Bonds. She's going to hit roughly, the scientists are still trying to tabulate. She's going to hit about 80,000 home runs during her college career. So we're monitoring that situation. Until Saturday is the name of the newsletter that's, it's kind of about the NFL Draft and kind of about college softball, but also sort of college football additionally. During the rest of Charity Bowl week, if you are looking for a fun number with which to donate, and maybe your school hasn't won a whole lot of stuff recently, and you'd like some help digging up a historical number, hit me up on Blue Sky and I'll get to it when I get to it. We'll get it done before the deadline, but if you want a fun number, I'll look up and suggest one. I got this idea from the Indiana fan who was looking up for their exact number of all-time losses. So yeah, Blue Sky, hit me up. Next.

Speaker 7:
[113:10] Hand in the Dirt is a podcast I do. Listen to it. Phantom Island is a podcast I produce. You can get it for free in the middle of the week, and you got to pay for the second one. That money goes to Ryan Nanni and Steven Godfrey, so spend accordingly. Beyond that, Killer Antz is my band. We spell our name with a Z. We have a new song out this Friday, called You Want to Love Rock and Roll. Listen to it when it comes out.

Speaker 4:
[113:34] Bam.

Speaker 7:
[113:34] Next.

Speaker 4:
[113:35] As for this episode, Charity Bowl component, is Washington the winner or did someone take the lead?

Speaker 3:
[113:43] Let me check. It is currently 4 PM on the dot. Washington is ahead with $6,134 donated in the last two hours. The next closest team, Michigan has edged into third past PTKU, but Michigan is a distant second at $3,845. Michigan, you will have to content yourself. It looks like with your current overall lead of award standings of $78,975.

Speaker 4:
[114:15] There you have it. Seattle it is.

Speaker 3:
[114:17] All right. Washington fans, get at us. Let us know some great community organizations in and around Seattle. Let us know if you've got any mutual aid funds we should check out. Next week, we will tell you where we are making Spencer send money. I almost forgot. I said I would announce one more thing on the show. We had a website last year set up for our post-Charity Bowl screening of Goodfellas, which was called spencerozme400beers.org. This was named because Spencer promised to drink a beer for every $10,000 that we went over the stretch goal a few years back and forgot. At some point, somebody decided to add compound interest to that. And anyway, we decided that 400 was a fair number of beers for Spencer to buy for people. We, putting on a screening of Goodfellas on a weekend that a Marvel movie is opening or a DC movie is opening is very expensive, as it turns out. So Spencer had to spend $4,000 of his own money to put on this Goodfellas screening last year. So we surveyed some local friends of ours by which I mean, I put every Georgia fan I knew in a group chat and said, hey guys, what is a fair market price for a beer? And the answers that I got were all between $5 and $8. So if we do the math there, and Georgia fans again, stay with me, this is math. And we divide the 400 beers that Spencer owed by, or sorry, we multiply it by the $5, sorry, Tennessee education here, we get $2,000. So if you say that a beer is $5, Spencer actually bought 800 beers for everybody last year at Goodfellas. And if you say that a beer is $8, and then the math gets even funnier, because that means that Spencer bought 500 beers. And so either way, I am here to declare as the self-appointed commissioner of how many beers you own. Spencer, after however many years it's been, nobody really knows, your debt is paid. You can now move on to forgetting to do the next charity bowl stretch goal.

Speaker 1:
[116:45] I feel good about this.

Speaker 4:
[116:46] I think at this point, the world owes Spencer beers.

Speaker 1:
[116:50] Yeah. You know what? I'm going to lean into that. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[116:54] We are going to keep the website for the postgame charity bowl surprise as Spencer owes me 400 beers. However, so stay tuned for that.

Speaker 1:
[117:01] I am free. Debt free.

Speaker 3:
[117:03] It feels so good.

Speaker 1:
[117:04] Well, when you do it.

Speaker 3:
[117:05] You were really mad when you saw how much money that was going to cost. I just want people to know that not because I'm happy that you were unhappy, but because people should know that you did sincerely, and the most literal sense of the word, pay for this.

Speaker 1:
[117:20] Yeah. Paid.

Speaker 4:
[117:22] Alpha asked for it.

Speaker 1:
[117:23] But I did get to show good fellows to a bunch of people. So that was good.

Speaker 3:
[117:27] That was a fantastic time. Yeah. Hey, we have one. We're signing off here in a second, but Michigan did just cross the $4,000 mark. I am sorry, Michigan. You have still achieved only two-thirds of what Washington has achieved in this two-hour block. So yeah, Huskies, it's you.