transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] If you have more than one child, like us, you know that there's no such thing as one size fits all. Each child has a different comfort need, preferences, and they each have their unique personalities. And you know when you're looking at clothes, they're super cute but impractical most of the times and aren't very functional for diaper changes or even sensitive skin. You're dealing with stiff, non-stretchy fabrics and the kids outgrow them almost immediately. It was super hard for me as a mom trying to find a brand that was reliable, fits the styles, the comforts, and also just looking cute. And then I found Little Sleepies. Little Sleepies was created by real moms who understand the realities of daily life with kids. They're super soft, comfortable fabrics that actually hold up. And guess what? They fit up to three times longer than other brands. The thoughtful details that they have make everyday dressing and diaper changing a breeze. Little Sleepies is always dropping new styles for both bedtime and playtime, so your kids can stay comfy and cute 24-7. They even offer licensed prints with brands like Disney, Marvel and more. If you're expecting or dressing little ones, check out Little Sleepies. You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code PODSPRING26 for 15% off full price products. That's P-O-D-S-P-R-I-N-G and number 26 for 15% off full price products. Welcome, hey, welcome. Welcome back to another episode. Yeah, welcome back to another episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down. Hope you guys are well. We have no more sickness in our house, so that's great.

Speaker 2:
[01:34] Hallelujah.

Speaker 1:
[01:35] Right? But no, you know what I was thinking would be fun? I was like, what if we did, like, we went on live, like TikTok Live, and had people ask questions while we're recording an episode?

Speaker 2:
[01:47] Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[01:49] I thought. They would write it in.

Speaker 1:
[01:52] Yeah, they would write it in while we're on live or whatever. I thought it would be funny.

Speaker 2:
[01:55] Well, you see people that will invite guests like on live?

Speaker 1:
[01:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[01:58] That would be kind of interesting to do. That would be, yeah. And then record it. And then, hey, just so they know, we're recording a Pocket episode. So if you ask yourself to come into our live, you're agreeing to like, possibly, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[02:10] To make the cut.

Speaker 2:
[02:11] Yeah, you're making the cut. I think people would do it. I'd do it.

Speaker 1:
[02:14] I think it would be fun.

Speaker 2:
[02:15] Right?

Speaker 1:
[02:16] Yeah. So I thought about I thought, I don't know, I was just thinking, I'm like, that could be interesting.

Speaker 2:
[02:21] We'll do it and see what happens.

Speaker 1:
[02:23] Should I do it?

Speaker 2:
[02:24] Why? What do we have to lose, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[02:26] I know, right?

Speaker 2:
[02:27] Just do what happens. Guys, this will be a first. It's a kind of experiment. So if you don't.

Speaker 1:
[02:32] We don't give up. I wish I had a tripod.

Speaker 2:
[02:34] Oh, true.

Speaker 1:
[02:36] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[02:37] Yeah, because how are you going to do that? You're going to be holding the phone the whole time. We didn't think this through, did we? I know, right?

Speaker 1:
[02:43] I know we are. Well, because I wanted this episode, I have a bunch of questions from our Cate & Ty Break It Down Instagram. People wrote in a bunch of questions, and I just had a random thought. I was like, that would be kind of fun.

Speaker 2:
[02:55] I think it would be. If you hear kids were at a hotel, okay, and there's some kind of, I don't even know what it is, hockey competition or something.

Speaker 1:
[03:04] Yeah, there was a whole game. We walked in here yesterday.

Speaker 2:
[03:07] You ever go to a hotel and you're like, oh, it's going to be a great time, whatever, relaxing time, and then you walk in and there's just.

Speaker 1:
[03:13] No, we walked on the hallway.

Speaker 2:
[03:14] Thousands of kids. I'm like, what's going on? And then you see signs going on the hallway of the hotel room. And you see all the rooms of numbers of some kind of team. And I'm like, son of a bitch.

Speaker 1:
[03:25] Yeah, no, we walked on this. And of course, our hallway, it was like packed full and just a bunch of boys. And I feel like we're a household of girls and boys are just more rowdy.

Speaker 2:
[03:35] Yeah, we are. We're there. Yeah. You know, like way, way more rowdy wrestling shit and throw things and break stuff. Oh, tester limits. I was.

Speaker 1:
[03:44] But thankfully they were quiet. They were quiet last night.

Speaker 2:
[03:46] And then that dad came out and said, all right, guys, when he noticed that other people were like walking their suitcases on the hallways. All right, guys, everyone, settle down.

Speaker 1:
[03:52] Because we were like walking down the hallway yesterday. And there was probably like 20 boys just running through the halls. And we're like, I'm like stepping over kids and shit to get to the room.

Speaker 2:
[04:06] I felt bad, I rolled over someone's little plastic thing on the ground.

Speaker 1:
[04:09] Dude, it was crazy. So for people that just hopped up on our TikTok, we're actually, we're recording.

Speaker 2:
[04:15] We're impulsive right now. Hello, everybody on TikTok. We thought it'd be cool if, while we're recording a podcast episode, we go down live and then you guys ask us questions. And then obviously, hey, listen, though, you ask a question, you're consenting to being possibly making the cut. So I'm just letting you know.

Speaker 1:
[04:33] So if people want to hop up on here and maybe request to join and I can accept you and maybe you guys can ask a question and you'll make it up on our podcast.

Speaker 2:
[04:47] I thought it'd be cool because then it kind of shows you guys the process of like what, I don't know, behind the scenes.

Speaker 1:
[04:52] Right. It is kind of behind the scenes. Well, because I already had a bunch of questions from Instagram. And so I was like, well, why not include the fans?

Speaker 2:
[05:03] Are you able to read questions? What the fuck is that going on?

Speaker 1:
[05:07] Something, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[05:10] Are you able to read the questions on Instagram as TikTok Live is going on? No, I won't be able to do it through my phone from the account.

Speaker 1:
[05:18] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could do that, yeah. So if anybody wants to like send in a request to join the live, Sid's bad wants to ask a question, so I sent an invitation to Sid.

Speaker 2:
[05:35] Oh, I see, so you're actually asking them to come up on the video.

Speaker 1:
[05:39] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[05:39] Not just reading the question like we usually do from Instagram. Okay, all right, all right, all right. But yeah, I thought it'd be kind of cool.

Speaker 1:
[05:44] Driving to Detroit from Florida in two weeks. Any suggestions? I wouldn't drive. I mean, Tyler and I, we've drove from Florida to Michigan and back. We've drove from Michigan to New Orleans, which was hell.

Speaker 2:
[05:59] It was a fucking nightmare, guys.

Speaker 1:
[06:02] I think the drive from New Orleans to, no, from Michigan to New Orleans was, I felt like it was longer than driving to Florida.

Speaker 2:
[06:09] No, I thought it was 14 hours.

Speaker 1:
[06:11] Oh, was it? All I know is that it was hell.

Speaker 2:
[06:12] Dude, it was hell. Every time. Listen, guys, I don't care what's going on. I hate driving that long.

Speaker 1:
[06:17] If it's more than four hours, Yeah, no, I don't like it. I hate it. Well, I guess that person didn't accept my invite.

Speaker 2:
[06:24] So maybe you just, maybe instead of you inviting them, can they just request to jump on?

Speaker 1:
[06:30] That's what they did. They sent me a request and I accepted it. They must have declined it.

Speaker 2:
[06:34] Oh, I see. Okay, so you accept it and then they pop up. Okay. I don't want to be too distracting though.

Speaker 1:
[06:40] I know, right?

Speaker 2:
[06:41] I'm just watching them.

Speaker 1:
[06:42] I know, it is kind of fucking distracting.

Speaker 2:
[06:45] You know, the people, the fancy people, influencers, they'll have like the computer and they'll be recording at the same time.

Speaker 1:
[06:51] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:53] Looking at the one thing and I'm like, we're not that cool.

Speaker 1:
[06:56] But- Oh, Johnny's on here. Hi, Johnny. Hi, Johnny. Actually, Johnny, we still need to get you on our podcast. We need to talk about things. I know you're a busy man, but, you know, it would be great. I might have to get off here and just answer questions from Instagram.

Speaker 2:
[07:12] Yeah, because people are listening. It was a good idea for a minute, but I don't think it's going to work. We're going to have to get better, like, equipment, I guess, to do this multi fancy shit.

Speaker 1:
[07:24] And nobody's asking to hop on.

Speaker 2:
[07:25] All right, get out of here. Listen, we tried. It didn't work.

Speaker 1:
[07:29] It didn't work. All right, back to Instagram questions.

Speaker 2:
[07:31] Back to the basics. Talk to you all later.

Speaker 1:
[07:33] Bye.

Speaker 2:
[07:35] I don't get to see you trying to, like, scroll.

Speaker 1:
[07:37] All right. Well, it was a good idea. But, you know, OK, we ain't going to do that.

Speaker 2:
[07:44] We're going to figure out a different...

Speaker 1:
[07:46] Because I was thinking, like, a way to get people involved to, like, hop on here, you know.

Speaker 2:
[07:50] Well, it's kind of like in the way that when you watch a live and then they let people come up and they talk about stuff, you know what I mean? They let people talk about shit, ask questions, whatever.

Speaker 1:
[07:58] So I invited somebody and they didn't, you know...

Speaker 2:
[08:00] Hey, you know what? Hey, listen, whatever. Gave it a shot.

Speaker 1:
[08:04] We'll go back to the normal ways of Q&A's, obviously. But, or maybe in the future or two we find out, like we have a phone, people could call in and ask questions or something.

Speaker 3:
[08:15] Oh, the old school dude?

Speaker 1:
[08:16] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:16] What if we got a landline?

Speaker 1:
[08:18] Right, and then just like...

Speaker 2:
[08:18] Oh, they'll call all the time.

Speaker 1:
[08:20] You can unplug it. Oh, true. You know, you can unplug a landline.

Speaker 2:
[08:23] Then you plug it in when you want to...

Speaker 1:
[08:25] Yeah, you tell people, like, you got to call in from this time to this time or whatever. Old school shit.

Speaker 2:
[08:29] I don't know. I'll figure something out.

Speaker 1:
[08:30] I just figured it would be cool to get them, like, more involved or, you know, whatever. So one of the questions that we have is, since that our views of adoption have changed over the years, do we still have a good relationship with Dawn? And I think a lot of people think that we would, like, hold on to anger or resentment or... I don't know. I think people, like, want us to hate her or not like her.

Speaker 2:
[08:53] I think, well, I think what it comes down to is people who have obviously, like, learned more about adoption and dove into it and kind of figured out how the industry works. Yeah, you know, adoption facilitators and counselors get a bad rap because they're a part of this industry or whatever. But I will say, like I've always said, I have never, like, gotten an evil, not good feeling from Dawn. I've always felt very warm. She's always been very warm and welcoming and comforting and compassionate. And so if I got any sort of like, like, you know what I mean? I'd be different. But guys, I'm telling you, she is a warm, such a sweet soul, beautiful, beautiful person.

Speaker 1:
[09:35] Yeah. And I do. And I feel like me and Ty have said it before that, you know, truthfully, I feel like if it wasn't for Dawn, we probably wouldn't have had, they probably would have cut us off sooner.

Speaker 2:
[09:47] I think so.

Speaker 1:
[09:47] You know what I mean? Dawn has always been like our advocate and wanting the best for us and wanting the best for Carly. And at the end of the day, that's what we all want.

Speaker 2:
[09:57] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:58] And yeah. And I feel like we're very good reads of people, too. Like you can just get the vibe of somebody if they're just being, I don't know, fake or in it for the wrong reasonings or whatever. And she's never been like that. You know, is there some things that I wish I could go back and maybe be more like educated on and things like that? Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[10:19] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[10:19] You know.

Speaker 2:
[10:21] But you know what? I will say, I think the same. I would assume that 16 years later, I'm pretty sure Dawn feels the same way. Like there might be things that she wished you would have known more about. I mean, because we're learning more and more about this stuff as time goes on. More studies are being done with adoptees and just in general. So I feel like, you know, I would assume that there'd be some things that Dawn would even go back and be, man, I wish I would have known that back then or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[10:45] Right. Or I wish it could have been changed back then like it is now. You know, whatever. But no, we love Dawn. I think Dawn is a beautiful soul. She has a great heart. She really just wants to help people.

Speaker 2:
[10:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[10:56] And she's just always been really loving and caring. So no, we still have a very good relationship with her.

Speaker 2:
[11:02] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[11:04] Somebody asks, did you consider abortion when you found out that you were pregnant at 16? I think for me, we found out that I was pregnant and it was just like, I don't know, trauma right in that moment, like scared, fear, all the feelings. And I know that the next... So I went home, went to sleep. The next morning, my mom woke me up early before she was getting ready to leave for work. And she asked me, she was like, would you just want to get an abortion? And my automatic answer was like, yes, yeah. And I just started crying, because I'm scared. I don't know what I'm feeling, you know? And so I was like, yes, I would like to look into it or whatever. And I think, did my mom call your mom or call you guys and ask if you were going to come with me to get one or something? Or how did that happen? Because I don't think I told you.

Speaker 2:
[11:59] I can't remember, but I do remember someone saying it to me. Maybe it was my mom. No, I think it was your mom. I can't remember now, it's wild. I can't remember. But I do, yeah, I remember someone saying, hey, if she's going to go get an abortion, would you go with her? That's pretty much the only question. It wasn't like, do you agree with it? It was like, yeah, I'll go with her. It was like a, you know what I mean? Or you entered, you're out. It was more like, all right, let me know when to be there, how to, whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[12:23] And I think people need to realize too, like my views as a woman, I always have had the view of anybody can do whatever they want with their own bodies. Would I ever get an abortion? My view was always like, no, until I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy and I had that thought of, well, maybe I would. Like, I'm scared. I don't want to be, I'm not ready to be a mom right now. And so, you know, you might have certain views and then you find yourself in a situation. And so my first thought was like, yeah, maybe I would want to get abortion. This episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down is sponsored by BetterHelp. Money stress can affect far more than just our bank accounts. It can take a huge toll on your relationships, your mental health, with 88 percent of Americans feeling some form of financial stress at the start of 2026. Money worries often bring on sleep disruption, anxiety, and sometimes even depression, and is one of the leading sources of conflict for couples. This month, we want to normalize the emotional weight of financial stress and remind people that struggling with money doesn't mean that you have failed. And sometimes it's just about getting the right kind of support. And therapy isn't about financial advice, but it can help you manage the stress and anxiety that can come with it. Therapy can also help you unpack your relationship with money and build healthier coping strategies and also make you not feel as alone and also help you not feel alone in the process. BetterHelp's therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. BetterHelp does the initial match working for you, so you can focus on your therapy goals. You fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. And with their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, means they typically get it right the first time. But if you're not happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/break it down. That's better, help.com/break it down. If you have more than one child like us, you know that there's no such thing as one size fits all. Each child has a different comfort need, preferences, and they each have their unique personalities. And you know when you're looking at clothes, they're super cute but impractical most of the times and aren't very functional for diaper changes or even sensitive skin. You're dealing with stiff, non-stretchy fabrics and the kids outgrow them almost immediately. It was super hard for me as a mom trying to find a brand that was reliable, fits the styles, the comforts, and also just looking cute. And then I found Little Sleepies. Little Sleepies was created by real moms who understand the realities of daily life with kids. They're super soft, comfortable fabrics that actually hold up, and guess what? They fit up to three times longer than other brands. The thoughtful details that they have make everyday dressing and diaper changing a breeze. Little Sleepies is always dropping new styles for both bedtime and playtime, so your kids can stay comfy and cute 24-7. They even offer licensed prints with brands like Disney, Marvel and more. If you're expecting or dressing little ones, check out Little Sleepies. You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code PODSPRING26 for 15% off full price products. That's P-O-D-S-P-R-I-N-G and number 26 for 15% off full price products. I remember Tyler, you went and you looked up just like a whole bunch of information.

Speaker 2:
[15:56] Yeah, because I was also like, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1:
[15:58] About abortion.

Speaker 2:
[15:59] Yeah, how does it work? What do they do? What's going on? Yeah. And I also felt like it was so like, like back then it was so like, hey, you get one, you want one, you get one. And I felt like no offense, but I knew, I knew like I didn't think anyone was going to really give you all the information. You know what I mean? So I think it's important because I knew that you're in a state of mind where it's so you're just so like freaking out that it's hard to even digest information. Something like, all right, what can I do to best support? And I guess that was my I went to the school. I printed out all the stuff of each stage of what they do and what stages it looks like and whatever and just gave you the data. Here you go. I felt like that was fair.

Speaker 1:
[16:44] And I think people need to realize, too, like it wasn't Tyler was like, oh, don't get the abortion. He was more or less like whatever you want to do. But I want you to have the facts about what an abortion is. What does it look like? What are the statistics of women maybe regretting it or not regretting it or all of the things?

Speaker 2:
[17:01] All of it, really. I remember back in the day thinking, it wasn't even about abortion being right or wrong. It was just about, listen, it's your body. It's what you're going into doing stuff to. So it was like, dude, I just want you to know what the hell is going on inside the body that they're doing, whatever. And then I also felt like giving you that information, you would feel better equipped. Because in my head, I'm thinking, she didn't go get an abortion, that's what we're going to do. You'd be better equipped to go in and ask the doctor, hey, I read this, I read that, is it true? Is it not? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[17:27] Or just to make a fully educated decision, which I feel like every woman needs to. When you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy, I feel like as a woman, you should know about all your options and all the information about each every option. Apportion, parenting, adoption, all of it.

Speaker 2:
[17:44] The risks, the process, how it happens, everything.

Speaker 1:
[17:47] The pros and cons about all of them, whatever it is. And so when I was going through all this information and just reading statistics and all that thing, all the things.

Speaker 2:
[17:57] Remember you told me though, when you were with my mom asking that, and I just said yes out of panic?

Speaker 1:
[18:01] Yeah, out of fear.

Speaker 2:
[18:02] Because I remember you saying like-

Speaker 1:
[18:04] Because I didn't know what I was going to do.

Speaker 2:
[18:05] Yeah, yeah. And you remember you being like, I just said yes to her because I- I was just freaking out. And I remember thinking, I'm like, well, that's not a good way to make a decision. I don't want you to make a decision out of you just like out of panic. Because that's not good.

Speaker 1:
[18:20] Oh, and it was straight out of panic.

Speaker 2:
[18:21] Yeah, I know. Because I remember you calling me and saying, I said yes. And now I'm freaking out because I said yes. And you know what I mean? I was like, well, dude, chill out.

Speaker 1:
[18:28] Right. And so then obviously when I'm reading all these things and I already have the viewpoints that I've, you know, my own views that I've had about me like feeling as though I would never be able to get an abortion, but I don't hate it.

Speaker 3:
[18:39] Let's explain why.

Speaker 2:
[18:40] Why did you feel, why do you feel personally that you could never do it?

Speaker 1:
[18:45] I feel like for me as a person, I feel like I would end up being one of the women that would have regrets and the what ifs.

Speaker 2:
[18:50] Yeah, which is, I think that's really fair. And I think it's important for people to hear that perspective. Like, it could be that simple.

Speaker 1:
[18:58] I truly feel like I would. And I feel like I'm such an empath that I would just, I feel these feelings and emotions that probably wouldn't be healthy for me.

Speaker 2:
[19:04] Yeah, right.

Speaker 1:
[19:06] And so when you did give me all the form and I was just reading things, it really just solidified. I was like, wow, see, this is why you have to listen to yourself.

Speaker 2:
[19:13] Yeah, listen, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[19:14] You know what I mean? And like, even though it's scary, like yeah, I could have gotten abortion and then not been pregnant, but maybe would have had all of these other issues.

Speaker 2:
[19:24] You know, like we're talking about it, but now it's like, but then we have trauma from adoption.

Speaker 1:
[19:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:29] So it's like, it's this...

Speaker 1:
[19:31] It's a catch-22.

Speaker 2:
[19:32] Yeah, it's the unplanned pregnancy shit that I feel women get in these crisis situations. And when you're in a crisis pregnancy, there is not really any good route to take. You don't have to get, it's a crisis, you're in it. It's so, and no matter what you do...

Speaker 1:
[19:49] You're gonna experience trauma.

Speaker 2:
[19:50] Yeah, you're gonna experience some kind of, you know, like hurdle and issue. So, I don't know. It's kind of ironic, hearing you say it in real time is like, damn, the reason, your belief system was like, I can't get an abortion because I know I'll be one of those women who will regret it and have these probably lifelong just, you know...

Speaker 1:
[20:06] Questions and what ifs and...

Speaker 2:
[20:08] And regrets or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[20:09] Which I got that with an option anyways.

Speaker 2:
[20:10] Yeah. It's like, I don't know, I... Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[20:13] But no, but I remember just like, so I sat there, went through all the papers and you know, all of that. And I was just like, no, you know, it just, I don't think that I'd be able to do that either. And so then it was like, we were back at stage one again. And it was like, all right, parenting or like, what are we going to do? And you know, you have to like, if you've never found yourself in an, you know, an unplanned pregnancy and you don't know what you're doing, like you are literally just in a, a mental loop of anxiety and freaking out and not knowing. And it's just scary. And so it was just like, okay, well, I'm not going to get an abortion. So it's either we're going to parent or we're going to figure something else out. So yeah, I mean, abortion did cross my mind for a second. And we just decided not to go that route. And again, I'm definitely much like pro-choice, you know, would I ever, and even to this day, like I've always said, if I were to ever find myself in a pregnancy ever again, like I wouldn't be the type that would be able to get an abortion, but I do not hate on any woman that chooses that for their own selves. And I don't look down on any woman that doesn't.

Speaker 2:
[21:21] Right, because we talked about it today that if any of our daughters ever came to us and said, I am experiencing a crisis on my pregnancy, the first thing I'm going to ask them is, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? And if they want to get an abortion, I will be driving them to that clinic and we'll figure it out. So I also don't want like, because you know how kids will ask their parents, what would you do? What would you do? How do you feel about it? And that's when it's like, I think it's super important for parents to just, that's when you literally have to like make it. You may respond, well, honey, what I would do is blah. But that's not, I don't think that's the right way to do it. Cause the child's not asking you, what would you do? You know, as a genuine curiosity. They're asking you pretty much subconsciously, what should I do? And so I feel like when they ask you, hey, you know, what would you do? It's important for the parent to be, listen, it's not about what I would do. This is about what you want to do and what you feel like you need to do.

Speaker 1:
[22:15] And I think, and then it's also an opportunity to, I mean, God forbid, any of it happens to us, it's also the opportunity to educate them about them all. Well, there's abortion.

Speaker 2:
[22:23] I'll do the same thing.

Speaker 1:
[22:24] You know what I mean? Go through them all. There's abortion.

Speaker 2:
[22:26] Here's adoption.

Speaker 1:
[22:27] Yeah. Here's that meaning.

Speaker 2:
[22:29] I know, right?

Speaker 1:
[22:29] I feel hard.

Speaker 2:
[22:30] It is hard, but it's important to give it all to them and then let them do their thing and try to keep your own bias out of it.

Speaker 1:
[22:37] You know what I'm saying? Which is hard because you're a parent and you don't want your children to go through something.

Speaker 2:
[22:41] That's kind of my whole point is if like, because if one of our daughters went and asked you, hey, what would you do mom? And you go, well, for me personally, I wouldn't do it because I might have regrets. Like it's, I almost feel like that's not the right answer at the time.

Speaker 1:
[22:54] Well, because they might not have any regrets. There's people that we know that have gotten abortions that don't have any regrets.

Speaker 2:
[22:59] My mom says to this day, and she, listen, my mom is a devout Christian woman. And she says, I have never regretted my abortion. I think she had more than one. And she said that she's never regretted it. And she said that she remembers when she got saved and stuff, that she almost felt guilty for not regretting it. You know what I mean? Because after getting in her faith, and like, you know, it's a big thing.

Speaker 1:
[23:21] Because she had one at young. Was she like 16, 15, 16?

Speaker 2:
[23:23] I want to say, yeah, I think she was, yeah, like 16. And she remembers, I remember like, almost feeling guilty that I didn't feel guilty about it. You know what I mean? Because people were like in her faith, and they were like, you're talking about it and stuff. But still, to this day, she's like, but she's like, I don't regret it. You know, my life would have been, I don't know what would have happened, but I don't regret it, you know? I mean, never got sad about it, never had all these issues afterwards.

Speaker 1:
[23:48] And for me, I have the fear that I probably would be different. Yeah, exactly. And I've always had that feeling about myself.

Speaker 2:
[23:53] And that's why when you told me, I just said yes, I could tell that. And back then, I think it's important to know that you've never gone to therapy yet, so you're still doing that dynamic dance with your mom. It's kind of surviving, making sure everything is good. So if she says-

Speaker 1:
[24:08] And I do think my mom thought in the moment maybe this is the best route.

Speaker 2:
[24:11] Oh yeah, oh for sure, hell yeah.

Speaker 1:
[24:12] Because I know my mom has talked about like she's had an abortion before too, and I can, of course, as a mom, you're probably like, well, what about abortion? Or whatever. And I was just in straight panic like, yes, yes, yes, I'll do whatever just to make it go away. I don't want to have to deal with this anxiety and panic. But yeah, and I'm grateful that I didn't do it. I feel like even though we've had hardships with adoption, like I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot, she has pushed me to change in many ways that I don't think she'll ever know until she's older. And it comes with hard stuff, but there's been a lot of growth and a lot of change and beautiful things too. It's just so bittersweet.

Speaker 2:
[24:58] It's one of those things where it's like, anything worth acquiring is never easy to get. So it's like anything worth acquiring, you're going to go through bullshit to get it.

Speaker 1:
[25:08] But yeah, I mean, I definitely had the thought, for sure. Yeah, it was a crazy time. So as parents or guardians or caretakers with kids that are in school, I'm sure that every single one of us believe that every student deserves an education that can help them thrive and reach their full potential. That's where K-12 powered schools come in. These are tuition free, accredited, online public schools where students learn from caring teachers who are trained in online education. K-12 offers a safe and flexible at home learning environment for students in kindergarten, all the way through 12th grade, with options for every student, whether they need more challenge or maybe even some more support. Students learn at their own pace with curriculum tailored to meet their unique goals, needs, and interests. And K-12 state certified teachers use hands-on, innovative technology that makes learning interactive. K-12 has more than 25 years experience helping students gain the skills they need to thrive in the future. And it could be perfect for your child too. Join the more than 3 million families who have been served by K-12 and bring personalized learning to the comfort of your own home. Enroll online today at k12.com/break it down. That's the letter K, the number 12 ,.com/break it down. k12.com/break it down.

Speaker 3:
[26:29] I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool.

Speaker 4:
[26:31] No, you don't understand.

Speaker 2:
[26:33] It went perfectly.

Speaker 3:
[26:34] Real offer, down to the penny.

Speaker 4:
[26:35] They're picking it up tomorrow.

Speaker 2:
[26:37] Nothing went wrong.

Speaker 5:
[26:38] So what's the problem?

Speaker 1:
[26:39] That is the problem.

Speaker 3:
[26:40] Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

Speaker 5:
[26:43] Maybe there's no catch.

Speaker 3:
[26:44] That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

Speaker 5:
[26:47] Wow, you need to relax.

Speaker 3:
[26:48] I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood?

Speaker 5:
[26:50] I think it's laminate.

Speaker 3:
[26:51] OK, yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

Speaker 5:
[26:53] Car selling without a catch.

Speaker 2:
[26:55] Sell your car today on Caravana.

Speaker 3:
[26:57] Pick up these may apply.

Speaker 1:
[26:59] Some people ask, like, what do we think about Carly's photos being leaked online?

Speaker 2:
[27:04] I think people are weird.

Speaker 1:
[27:06] Yeah. Those T-pages like going out and searching for stuff to post is wrong.

Speaker 2:
[27:10] And then I noticed there's one account that literally put their watermark, like they'll watermark the picture so no one else can get them.

Speaker 1:
[27:16] Oh, so the picture that you searched and stole.

Speaker 2:
[27:19] Not really stole it. They found it.

Speaker 1:
[27:21] I know, but it's weird.

Speaker 2:
[27:22] But it's like you take the picture, and you put the watermark on it and post it on this page that you get that it's monetized. So again, I just feel like it's not good. I think it's violating. I don't think it's right.

Speaker 1:
[27:38] Plus, you know that they don't. She obviously doesn't want her picture out there. You know that her parents don't want her pictures out there. Me and Ty have never posted pictures after we got in trouble when we were 18, 19. We've never posted pictures that were the front of her face because we had boundaries set with B&T that was like, if you can see your face, don't post them. So we never did.

Speaker 2:
[27:59] And for everyone listening or watching, it never happened again. For some reason, people had this timeline of that we just kept repeatedly posting pictures of her or something after we got in trouble that was filmed, the conversation. So it's weird how people come up with their own. I think after, you guys have to remember, after 16 years, people that are just now either discovering Teen Mom or discovering the story, they're watching everything consolidated into little clips throughout 16 years of a whole journey. So it's funny how people will say, well, they kept posting pictures every time I see the comment, the same comment.

Speaker 1:
[28:35] I'm like, no, we have not. And what people, I think what people don't think is like, okay, so did we break a boundary when we were like 18, 19 years old? Yeah, we made a collage of all of our baby pictures, stuff like that. Yes. B&T got upset about it. We all four sat down, had a conversation.

Speaker 2:
[28:51] Which is film.

Speaker 1:
[28:52] And we understood where they were coming from and they understood a little bit, I think, of where we were coming from. And then, you know, you fast forward like a year or two. And I reached out to Teresa one time and said, Hey, it was when Carly met Nova for the first time, when Nova was a baby. And I was like, Can I share this picture? And it was a picture of Carly and Nova together. And you could see Nova, but Carly's hair was in front of her face and you couldn't see it. And at that time, Teresa was like, as long as you can't see her face in it and you can't tell what she looks like, pictures like that are okay to share. And so that's why if you go on our Instagram and stuff, if you see pictures that we've shared of Carly with the girls, it's usually the back of them. We don't even do side profiles. It's usually the back because you can't see their faces.

Speaker 2:
[29:39] Which was, we got permission to do that.

Speaker 1:
[29:41] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[29:41] So when people say all the time that we kept posting pictures of her, it's like, when, where, when, how?

Speaker 1:
[29:47] I've only posted pictures that I was allowed to and was told that things like that is okay.

Speaker 2:
[29:52] Yeah. I think when things started getting rocky, was when they were saying, we don't want you talking about the adoption on TV. And that's when me and you had that really big internal battle of like, wait a minute, like, what are you talking about? So, so I can't talk about us being a birth parent? What is the parameter? Cause now I felt like there was, you're putting, and now it's not just pictures, now it's like, we can't talk about the adoption story at all.

Speaker 1:
[30:15] And then it evolved. It evolved from there. You know, then it was more or less like, I think, you know, Teresa was more or less like, don't speak word for word, our private conversations. And I was like, okay, I understand that. So then I just simplified, when they would ask me things like, hey, you know, have you heard from Teresa about having a visit? And say, oh, I texted her, said it's not gonna happen. Like, I wouldn't read our text messages. Yeah, just like verbatim or whatever. So, but so for people, like T-pages that are literally going out and finding a child, because she's a child, and you guys knowing that her parents don't want it blasted all over, and maybe Carly doesn't want it blasted all over either, but then you're searching them out and then you're posting them online when her birth parents aren't even doing that, or her own parents aren't raising her, like that's weird.

Speaker 2:
[30:59] It is weird, and also it's funny, because it's kind of just so like how...

Speaker 1:
[31:04] Who's breaking boundaries now?

Speaker 2:
[31:06] Well, it's like how ironic, how ironic that you guys are the same T-pages that vilified us for so many years for talking about it and just sharing our story of adoption. Now you're literally doing the exact thing that you hate on us for years.

Speaker 1:
[31:22] Yeah, that we didn't even do.

Speaker 2:
[31:23] That we didn't even do, yes.

Speaker 1:
[31:25] We shared baby pictures of her years and years and years ago. Now she is almost 17 years old. We've never shared a picture of her grown self.

Speaker 2:
[31:32] At that time, we were allowed to share baby pictures because they had it all over the reunion. That's how they did all the updates. They would be like, oh, can you?

Speaker 1:
[31:40] Whatever pictures.

Speaker 2:
[31:41] Yeah. Then it was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. So, Tresa would send us the little couple of photos that we could flip through on camera, on TV and they would zoom in and whatever. So, it's like.

Speaker 1:
[31:50] And then that stopped, you know, and then her parents were like, hey, she's getting to an age where.

Speaker 2:
[31:55] I think it was around, she was probably like, what, five? I want to say it was like five or four.

Speaker 1:
[32:00] It was like four or five because I was pregnant with Nova the last visit where they showed her face.

Speaker 2:
[32:05] Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah. So, yeah, the first three years there was no boundary about her face because she was a baby. She was just a little baby, you know what I mean? But yeah, then I remember before, I think it was a year before I went and visited them when you were pregnant with Nova was when they were like, all right, no more.

Speaker 1:
[32:23] Well, yeah, because then they were like, she's becoming more, now she's not going to be really changing a lot.

Speaker 2:
[32:26] Yes, yes, yes. Oh, hey, I totally got it. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1:
[32:29] So, yeah, so I think it's weird. I don't agree with it. And I do see some pages that speak on it that don't agree with it either. And I'm glad that they say things, like our friend Ray, she's very much like, you guys are weird, you guys hate on Cate and Ty for talking about a girl, but then you're going on there and you're talking and sharing pictures of her face and pictures of her with her friends and her boyfriend. It's so weird. It's just weird to me.

Speaker 2:
[32:52] It's so fucking weird, dude. But the crazy thing part about it is though is that regardless of what truth anyone wants to listen to, we're always to blame. Like oh, and I'll take it, I guess. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I will bow, I'm sure.

Speaker 1:
[33:08] Because like I always say, we know the truth. We know the conversations that we've had. I can go to sleep at night knowing my morals and values and who I am as a person and what boundaries I did not break.

Speaker 4:
[33:18] But you guys say that I did.

Speaker 1:
[33:19] Like I really don't care at the end of the day. But I do think it's weird that it's very weird. You guys are sharing pictures of her all over with her friends and with her boyfriends and you know her boyfriend and stuff. But we've never shared anything like that. But whatever, I digress.

Speaker 2:
[33:33] Yeah, right.

Speaker 1:
[33:36] Somebody asked, how is my relationship with my mom? I feel like our relationship is, it's in a good place. We talk, the kids talk to her all the time. She comes over every once in a while. It's still, I don't know, I would say it's still, what's the word? I do it in a way, let's just say, I mean, and it's the truth, so I'm going to say it. I always get weird. I don't ever want to hurt anybody's feelings. But I do it in a way that makes me feel safe, but then makes my children feel like they have access to their grandma. But I do it in a way that makes me feel safe as like their mom and myself, the daughter of her. So I mean, like we have boundaries in place, like my mom knows, like I don't want you drinking around me or the kids. And as long as you don't do that, I'm okay, you know?

Speaker 2:
[34:34] Pretty simple.

Speaker 1:
[34:36] So I would say it's good.

Speaker 2:
[34:38] I would say it's very good. Comparing it to years before or anything, I would say it's good.

Speaker 1:
[34:43] Yeah, I think we're in a good place for sure. And people want to know how is your relationship with your dad?

Speaker 2:
[34:50] It's kind of the same. I mean, I'm way more disconnected than you are with your mom, obviously. But I've done that my own way because he's obviously down in Texas. My sister is down in Texas. They're both doing their thing. And so I'm more like, like I said, I always randomly just say, love you, hope you're doing good. That's pretty much it. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[35:10] And he usually replies to you, doesn't he?

Speaker 2:
[35:12] Yeah, he'll say, I love you too, I miss you, whatever. I mean, listen, for the last, I don't know, probably over a year and a half now, I've been trying to get him up here to Michigan to visit. Yeah, we have. But that's been a nightmare because his crazy ex-girlfriend now, whatever, you know, doesn't like us and she's crazy. And so, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[35:29] Somebody asked, do you think Carly will come to live with you both since she is older?

Speaker 2:
[35:34] No, no, I don't. I mean, she's always welcome to come on, girl, come on. But no, I don't think she'll ever live with us. No.

Speaker 1:
[35:43] No, I don't think so either. Not at all. And you guys, she is 16, 17 years old. She's all about like her boyfriend and friends and figuring out what she's going to go to college for. And I love that she's like she's being a teenager as she should. You know, because the last was that we did have. I remember looking at her and said, wow, the next year, you know, like you're going to be 16. And I was pregnant with you then. And I was talking to her and I'm like, I'm so glad. You're just in a different space than I was at that age. Like you don't have to worry about being pregnant and the anxiety and the fear and the stress.

Speaker 2:
[36:16] And there was her face. And you said that was like, I think it hit her a little bit. Like, holy shit.

Speaker 1:
[36:19] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:20] Like, whoa, yeah, you were. I'm so right. Pregnant with me at this age. I'm right now. Yeah. So it was like, dang.

Speaker 1:
[36:26] And like, I'm just and I, yeah, I just told her, I'm like, I'm just so happy that you get to like, worry about boys and friends and what, how you're going to do your hair. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[36:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[36:35] What color nails am I going to have? And am I going to go, what dress am I going to wear? You know, like, I'm just so thankful for that.

Speaker 6:
[36:42] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:42] And I'm thankful for, I'm really grateful to Braintree for giving her that environment to do that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1:
[36:49] Yeah. But also I'm just grateful that she is different.

Speaker 2:
[36:53] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[36:54] You know what I mean? And that's what I, ultimately, that's what I wanted for her, was I wanted her to be able to be a kid and be selfish and, you know, do the things that teenagers want to do and go to college and all the things.

Speaker 2:
[37:07] I think the stuff that we wanted for her, she got. The stuff we wanted for us just didn't happen.

Speaker 1:
[37:13] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:14] So.

Speaker 1:
[37:15] Yeah. So I think there's parts of us that are like, I'm so happy for her. But then, you know, they're as birth parents. And if any birth parents listen, I'm sure you guys know the feelings too of like, I'm happy for her, but then I'm also sad for myself. I'm sad for me. I'm sad for me that I get to miss out on that beautiful human and, you know, and not knowing like what she wants. Like, does she want to be a part of us too? Like, I don't know. Okay. I know some of you guys have kiddos. And let me tell you, sometimes getting them dressed can be a whole process. Convincing them that it's time to get dressed and stop playing, having them pick out their own clothes, you know, after they've literally changed their mind like 10 times, yanking shirts over their heads and bunning up their coats. Well, that's why in the Baltierra house, we love Magnetic Me. These outfits use magnets instead of snaps, buttons or zippers. They go on easy over the head and toddlers and kids could do it all by themselves. And they get so excited to get ready, which is huge. Magnetic Me makes dressing so much easier and more enjoyable for everyone. You might even be able to get out of the door on time. So with Raya being four, she gets so excited that she can do the little magnets all by herself. And I can just see the confidence beaming within her because guess what? She got to do it with no help. Also, Veda and Raya are all into Disney princesses right now. So we got them the matching Disney princess pajamas. And they love these pajamas because they're comfortable. Like literally these pajamas are the ones that they want to wear all the time. Raya has the best time choosing her own outfits. All the prints and collections are so cute. The easy to use magnets make over the head dressing a breeze and no more wrestling with two small necklines. Plus, Magnetic Me has so many cute styles that the whole family can mention. Make dressing time easier and more fun for the whole family with Magnetic Me. Trust us, we know that you guys will absolutely love these two. Right now, new customers can get 15% off site-wide at magneticme.com. Go check out all their cute prints. Don't wait. Get 15% off at magneticme.com.

Speaker 6:
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Speaker 1:
[40:18] I think that goes on to the next question of an update on our adoption situation with her. I mean, nothing, but the only update that I do have is that about, I would say six months ago, I realized because I would always still randomly text Teresa, because I just want to have that for Carly and-

Speaker 2:
[40:39] As a record, really much I reached out.

Speaker 1:
[40:41] Yeah, I always continue to reach out. Even if I was blocked or whatever. And so I would say a good six months ago, I realized that I wasn't blocked anymore. And so then still, just once a month, I would even not being blocked anymore, I still would send, oh, there's the kids, I sent the kids first day of school picture.

Speaker 2:
[40:59] The stuff that we usually normally did before.

Speaker 1:
[41:01] Yeah, and still, obviously, she still doesn't reply to me or answer me or nothing like that or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[41:07] Here's a question for you. Would you rather her just have you blocked, though? So that way you wouldn't get the delivered message. You wouldn't, do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[41:15] No, because I feel like...

Speaker 2:
[41:16] I was going to say, I don't know what would be... For me personally, I don't think you just block my ass. So that way I don't have to say, you're in question, oh, you're ready, but you're not responding. You don't have to answer me.

Speaker 1:
[41:23] Yeah, I mean, obviously, sometimes I would... Like when I wrote this whole apology to how I would... In the future, if we can have a conversation, as for adults, I'm here for it or whatever. But no, because I felt like it was the same. You weren't answering me before. You're not answering me now. I think even when our adoption was still open, there were still plenty of times where you just didn't blatantly ignore me and wouldn't answer my questions anyways. But I think just like after not being blocked and reaching out every now and then, I think it kind of, I don't know, maybe it just kind of in a sense going through everything that we went through, it was like, this is who they are as people. And I'm not going to sit here and say shame them or whatever. But then I kind of got to the point where I was like, you know what? We have the email that we started for Carly, and I was like, I'm going to write to Teresa one last time and say, listen, I've apologized, I have tried to open the door to say, hey, let's have a conversation, and you're still just ignoring me, and all these things. And I just kind of told her, I said, this is the last text message you're ever going to receive from me ever again. I will continue to just, you know, I will write to Carly's email when I have the urge of wanting to send you an update or something. I will send it here. And I said, I'm not reaching out to you anymore. I'm done.

Speaker 2:
[42:53] She's 16, she's going to be 18 in two years, and she'll be an adult on her own. And it's funny because I feel like me and you were on the same side of the plank, just on the, I'm on one side and you're on the other side in it. And I've been on this side for a while where I'm never going to, I reach out to Brandon, I said father to father.

Speaker 1:
[43:13] But at least he actually responded to you.

Speaker 2:
[43:14] He did, you're right. You're right, though. He did respond to me, you're right. And I felt good doing that. And then I was like, and I will be writing to the email from here on out. That was kind of like my own version of like, I'm done.

Speaker 1:
[43:25] But you wanted to write to him and say, I'm so thankful for the dad that you are.

Speaker 2:
[43:28] Well, I actually wrote to him, I said, I was like, just in case we never speak again, I want you to know, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

Speaker 1:
[43:34] This is what I think of you as a dad.

Speaker 2:
[43:35] This is what I think of you as a father, this is what I'm thankful and grateful to you for.

Speaker 1:
[43:39] It was very sweet. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[43:40] And I just wanted to end it that way for myself. And then I told y'all that I'm just going to be writing to the email every time I get an urge or think of her or whatever. And instead of going that route, which always is met with, I'm just going to go this route. I feel like, I don't know, I just feel a lot, I feel a lot more peace doing it that way. Because now it's almost like, it reminds me of, even though I know she's older now, but it almost reminds me of me doing, people do baby books, they know they're not going to understand this right now.

Speaker 1:
[44:14] Yeah, until they're older.

Speaker 2:
[44:15] But it's going to be important to them one day, if they choose to want it. And so that's kind of the way I feel about it, which gives me more peace, because then it's like, well, this is just me and Carly thing. I don't need Teresa, I don't need Brandon, I don't need adoption or any of this to be involved. This is just about me and her and what I want to say.

Speaker 1:
[44:34] And one day too, it's like, you know, you guys, she's getting older one day too. She'll be able to look at everything that we have, everything that they have, everything that we've said, everything that they've said, and she'll be able to make the opinions for herself, whatever that is, you know? And I made it a point and I told Teresa in the text when I said this is my last text to you, and I said, but I will, I want to let you know, I will be putting in there every time that I have reached out, I will put from the beginning to the end so she can see, yeah, maybe how sometimes I was a little angry and wrote you and maybe sometimes you were angry and you wrote me, but like everything will be in there.

Speaker 2:
[45:07] Yeah, it's important.

Speaker 1:
[45:07] And it's important for her to see how many times I reached out and continued to do so, even when you had me blocked, even when her sisters were crying and wanted to talk to her, whatever it was, like it's important for her to see the full picture on your guys' side and our side.

Speaker 2:
[45:21] And that's why it's kind of crazy because I remember it kept asking you, we've had this email for a while now and you never wrote to it. I'm like, why are you not writing to her email?

Speaker 1:
[45:30] I know.

Speaker 2:
[45:31] And I think it was it seems like it was probably because of that reason, you're kind of just had this little 99, 1% of hope a little bit with the reaching out through text messages and trying to do what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:
[45:43] I guess there's a part of me where it's like, why do I feel like I'm trying to be more mature and more of an adult? And opening the door again, even though I've been slammed in the face many times, to have a conversation. Like I just don't, I'll never understand.

Speaker 2:
[45:58] Like I said, that's kind of the space here and then you're more or less like, I don't understand so I'm going to, you know, and then it comes to a point where I'm like, I just felt a lot more peace just I'm going to write the email. There's so much freedom with it, you know what I mean? And like, I don't know, I just felt like it took you a while to get there but I'm glad you did because I would, I could sense that you were just not like, you're holding on to that last little string. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm not letting the string go and then I think, did you feel any relief when you wrote that message saying, hey, this is the last time?

Speaker 1:
[46:28] Yeah, no, I definitely did. And I think the email part for me too, it's like I still haven't really wrote to it.

Speaker 2:
[46:33] I know, I noticed, I'm like, I don't know. You will eventually, you will. Yeah, I'm not, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[46:38] I mean, I feel like it's because with Teresa, it was like that was my last little closeness to her.

Speaker 2:
[46:46] Right, right.

Speaker 1:
[46:46] You know what I mean? But I don't know, let's just.

Speaker 2:
[46:48] Your last bit of possible access.

Speaker 1:
[46:50] Mm-hmm, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:52] And so I think you were kind of.

Speaker 1:
[46:53] And it's like, I don't know, it's weird writing to an email. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[46:56] It does feel weird for a minute.

Speaker 1:
[46:58] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:59] But it gets normal, like the last email I sent to her email was so short. It was like, oh my God, this just popped up on my memories of one of our visits. And so I attached the picture from my camera or my phone. I said, I just thought of you today, love you so much, miss you, hope you're doing good. And it was very short. And I just feel like, now you'll get, eventually once you start doing it, it's gonna get so normal for you that you're gonna be like, you're gonna pop in your head and be like, oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[47:22] Or what if she never wants it?

Speaker 2:
[47:25] Then it was peace for me.

Speaker 1:
[47:26] Yeah, I guess so. It was healing for me.

Speaker 2:
[47:28] Do that make sense? That's why I look at the email as in a way of, this is a me and Carly thing. And this is a me and Carly thing, even if Carly wants it or not. Because if she doesn't want, just say fuck that email, I don't wanna know what you guys wrote or anything like that, that's also fine because this email was something really healing for me.

Speaker 1:
[47:45] Yeah, like an outlet.

Speaker 2:
[47:46] Yeah, so I'm okay with that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[47:50] Moving on. Because, you know, adoption shit. Are the two little, are your kids gonna, they're asking if the littles are gonna visit Santa this year. We take them all three.

Speaker 2:
[48:03] Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1:
[48:04] But yeah, we're going this weekend. I'm like set it up and everything and I got a more cute little Christmas dresses, not Nova because she's like too big, she doesn't want to wear a dress, which I get.

Speaker 2:
[48:12] I know she's never been a dress girl.

Speaker 1:
[48:13] No, she was when she was little or yes, she was.

Speaker 2:
[48:16] Okay, when she was very little.

Speaker 1:
[48:17] I know.

Speaker 2:
[48:17] When she saw Nova in a dress, seriously think about it.

Speaker 1:
[48:20] The last Daddy Daughter Dance you guys did?

Speaker 2:
[48:22] No, besides that though.

Speaker 1:
[48:24] That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[48:25] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:
[48:26] I got Nova like a cool, it's just like a black shirt and it says Merry Christmas, but I got her these cool like buffalo plaid bell bottoms and she was like, oh yeah, I like those. But I still got Vada and Ryan cute little dresses.

Speaker 2:
[48:38] She was like, I'm going to wear my plaid bell bottoms with my Chuck Taylors and my black Merry Christmas shirt.

Speaker 1:
[48:44] But yeah, we're taking them and we're going to get her for sure. I think this is a good question. How do your girls handle being recognized in public? I think right now for the most part, it's Nova. She's in middle school now and she's about to be 11. She does get recognized and noticed. I think me and Ty have been having conversations with her recently within, I would say, the past few years about like, you can't really fully trust everybody and...

Speaker 2:
[49:17] Well, also I think explaining to her, it started off with explaining to her that I wanted her to know that our lives are not normal. It started concerning me because I'm like, you're not seeing mom and dad wake up, clock, punch in the clock at work.

Speaker 1:
[49:32] Yeah, our jobs look different.

Speaker 2:
[49:33] Yeah, our jobs are so unique and different and weird and just whatever that I think it's important for you to know why. So I feel like leading in to this is why you don't see us clocking in nine to five and having, you know what I mean? This is why. And then also with that being said, with this weird ass fucking job we have, this comes with it. And I feel like we always just constantly check in with her like, hey, how do you feel? Nova made her first boundary probably what, a year ago? Maybe a little over a year ago where she was like, where we asked her, we always asked her like, do you care if we take pictures of people today if we're out in public and people stop us? Do you? Does it?

Speaker 1:
[50:11] Yeah, it's been over a year.

Speaker 2:
[50:12] She's always said like, I don't care, I don't care. And then one year, that's what we kept asking her. I thought it was important. We kept asking her because if she just, but anyway, one year she said, yeah, you know what? No, I don't want anyone to get pictures with us today because I just want it to be me and you. And I feel like it takes away from the time that we're having together.

Speaker 1:
[50:26] Yeah, when we're doing family things. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:28] So me and Cate, I get it. We're like, all right, full stop. Awesome. Great. Love that. I said, thank you so much for speaking up and boom.

Speaker 1:
[50:34] So now like when we're out with the kids, like, you know, when we went to Disney, it was very much like, no, we're not taking pictures. People would stop and ask now and say, no, I'm sorry. I'm with the kids and I'm doing it. This is for the kids and us. Like, no, sorry.

Speaker 2:
[50:46] Respectful.

Speaker 1:
[50:46] They all are. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:48] Usually it's parents coming up there and they're always like, oh, totally get it. Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[50:53] And I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm like, if you would see me at like Walmart or somewhere, I totally would. But like when we're here doing kid things, or if the kids aren't with us.

Speaker 2:
[51:01] Yeah, of course we'll take a picture or whatever. But sometimes we've had people come to us when Nova was with us and say, can we get a picture? And we're like, no, we're with Nova today. We don't take pictures with Nova. And she's like, no, it's okay, mom and dad, go ahead.

Speaker 1:
[51:14] Yeah, there has been times.

Speaker 2:
[51:14] And then we go, are you sure? Okay. And then we do it.

Speaker 1:
[51:17] But no, there was one girl at Disney when we went. Remember, I told you about this girl. And I was like, no, we're with the kids, we're not. And she was like, oh, come on, just one picture. And I was like, no, I'm with my kids. And I'm not taking a picture.

Speaker 2:
[51:31] I don't think I was there. I must have been with Raya somewhere.

Speaker 1:
[51:33] Oh yeah, and I walked away from her.

Speaker 2:
[51:34] Oh, absolutely. Well, that's one of the things you do as a parent. But I will say, her handling of stuff in public is really good because she's aware of what, she's not blindsided by what do you mean? We've clearly explained what our job is, how weird it is, and what comes with it. And so she expects it. We also prepare her because, hey listen, do not just blindly trust people. They have ulterior motives. You know what I mean? So just be careful.

Speaker 1:
[51:59] And thankfully the friends that Nova does, they're good friends and they're parents. Yeah, and their parents are good parents. Like I've had parents reach out to me and say, hey, did you know somebody screamed across the lunch at Nova asking if she was famous? And I'm like, well thank you for letting me know. And then we would have a conversation with Nova about it or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[52:15] And it's funny because Nova, it's funny because the parents who told you that, sounded like, ugh, and then Nova was like, eh, whatever.

Speaker 1:
[52:22] Yeah, she's like, I was just weird because you screamed it across the lunchroom.

Speaker 2:
[52:26] She's like, yeah, sure, I guess, whatever.

Speaker 1:
[52:28] I'm just like, and then of course, Mama Bear comes out and I'm like, I will take my ass up to that fucking school. We're having a meeting right now. I need little fuckers. Sure, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[52:37] No, but I think it's important though because once that happened, remember I told you, I think it's important that we go to the principal now that she's at a new school and say, hey, if you're not aware, you're a small town, you're probably not aware. If you're not aware, I want you to be aware now and that way, and not to give my kids special treatment at all, but just to be aware so something, so your ears are kind of trained to it. If you hear something, you say, you know what I mean? You see something, you'll know.

Speaker 1:
[53:04] Say something.

Speaker 2:
[53:05] Yeah, like you'll know, so I think it's important.

Speaker 4:
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Speaker 1:
[54:14] Somebody said, are you guys going to be together forever and ever?

Speaker 2:
[54:17] Forever and ever.

Speaker 1:
[54:18] Forever and ever? You better be.

Speaker 2:
[54:20] You better be.

Speaker 1:
[54:21] You think I'd ever sign a divorce papers?

Speaker 2:
[54:22] You think I'd ever sign your fucking divorce papers? So bitch, we're fucking locked in. I don't know what to do. Blood ritual. Tap.

Speaker 1:
[54:29] Absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 2:
[54:31] Locked in.

Speaker 1:
[54:33] Somebody said, how do you keep the love alive with each other even after all of these years?

Speaker 2:
[54:40] Guys, this is like a complicated thing because I think, you know how I always say, people are like, it's work, and I'm not saying that marriage and relationships aren't work, but I don't think it's the work that people think it is.

Speaker 4:
[54:56] It shouldn't be hard, like hard to do work.

Speaker 2:
[54:59] It's not hard for me to love you, it's not hard for me to want to do, it's hard to explain, but it's like, I don't think it should be that fucking hard, and if it is that fucking hard, I think maybe you should re-evaluate who you're with and why and all that stuff. Because we've never had that, like...

Speaker 1:
[55:17] Yeah, like I would say a relationship is work, but it shouldn't be like super hard work.

Speaker 2:
[55:21] Okay, I know, okay, I guess it's work that I'm willing and wanting to do. So to me, it doesn't feel like work. It feels like I want to put an effort in. It doesn't feel like work to me. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:
[55:31] Yeah, no, it does.

Speaker 2:
[55:32] It feels like, oh, that's a suggestion, or that's a thing that I want to do because I love her so much, and I want her to know that, or so I'll do that. Yeah. So I think that people talk about the work that requires, it's not really work for me.

Speaker 1:
[55:45] I mean, we have had years of putting in hard work, working on hard things.

Speaker 2:
[55:50] Yeah, but it's funny when you say that, though, because when you say putting in hard work, to me, I feel like we put in hard work individually. Yeah, we did. It was translated into the relationship. It's not like-

Speaker 1:
[55:58] That's what I mean. We had to work on hard things like internally.

Speaker 2:
[56:02] Yeah, and then it lead into this, which is good. That's kind of how it was important that I want it to be that way. But I thought that keeping the love alive, it's not like I just fall in love with you more every day, every year. If I look back at this year and go, how do I feel about our last year? I feel more this year than it last. You know what I mean? It's never like a dwindling thing. It's always a kind of a just blowing up, rising thing.

Speaker 1:
[56:26] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[56:27] We connect all the time.

Speaker 1:
[56:28] No, we do. We're always in bed at night or laughing and joking.

Speaker 2:
[56:33] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[56:34] Is there some days where we're just mom and dad to death? Yeah, there are those days. We're just like, I don't want to do anything.

Speaker 2:
[56:42] But we always connect. We don't ever go a day without hugging or kissing or touching or connecting. Take it how we want.

Speaker 1:
[56:52] Even our kids are so used to it.

Speaker 2:
[56:53] Yeah, it's like we never go.

Speaker 1:
[56:55] Our kids see us snuggling and you'll see all the littles.

Speaker 2:
[56:56] And they just run towards the snug pile.

Speaker 3:
[56:59] Yeah, it's so funny.

Speaker 2:
[57:01] I love it. Keeping the love alive, I think, is easy. But I notice we get so many questions and things that were apparently just not that easy for other people. And I get that. I understand that. But I also feel like I wonder, are we just so brutally honest with what we want and need that we don't ever allow the space to grow for resentments to happen and then all that weird, and then it feels like hard work because we just tackle it right at the moment it happens. I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[57:28] And I think that comes also too from us doing the work on ourselves to figure out who we are as people, what do we want, how to say things, that sort of thing. And also too, I truly believe in soulmates and I do think that it's a real thing. And I think me and you are blessed to be able to find each other at a young age and know why, I knew before you did, but you know, and just to know, you know? Like I remember I sent him a TikTok the other day.

Speaker 2:
[57:55] She's psychic.

Speaker 1:
[57:57] Oh my God, what was it? Because Tyler was like, you fucking witch bitch or something like that, because it was like, it was just so accurate. Oh my God, I have to find it now. Let me see. Fuck, what did it say? I don't remember what it said.

Speaker 4:
[58:12] It wasn't that.

Speaker 1:
[58:15] I abused my children once, you know.

Speaker 2:
[58:17] What the wrong with your algorithms?

Speaker 1:
[58:19] Oh, it's right here, right here, right here.

Speaker 2:
[58:20] Abuse my children.

Speaker 1:
[58:21] It's like, oh, it says, soul made it so hard that we hung out once, and that night I knew I'd marry you.

Speaker 2:
[58:32] Straight up.

Speaker 1:
[58:33] Yeah, and I'm like, oh my God, I had to send it to him, and he could raise me back. He's like, you psychic, and I go, and I said, even though secretly, I'm just a witch and cast a spell on you. And he goes, well, call me bewitched, ma'am.

Speaker 6:
[58:44] And I was like, you're just so funny.

Speaker 1:
[58:47] But I saw that, I was like, that was so accurate. I was like, there was just one day, and I was like, I'm gonna marry him and have his kids.

Speaker 2:
[58:53] So weird.

Speaker 1:
[58:54] And being like a 14, 13, 12, 13 year old, but you're probably like, this bitch is fucking weird. I don't even know, I probably didn't like come out and verbally say it.

Speaker 2:
[59:03] No, you did.

Speaker 1:
[59:03] Oh, did I?

Speaker 2:
[59:04] Yeah, in a joking way, and of course I was like, ha ha ha, yeah, you're so funny.

Speaker 1:
[59:09] I'm going to marry him and have his babies.

Speaker 2:
[59:11] But yeah, you were right.

Speaker 1:
[59:12] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[59:12] That's kind of crazy when you think about it. But like I said, I believe it's soulmates. I mean, how else do you explain from us hanging out once to the next day? How do you explain that?

Speaker 1:
[59:25] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[59:25] How do you explain the desire? Because you remember when we were younger, it was like if I didn't talk to him on the phone.

Speaker 1:
[59:30] Oh God, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[59:30] Like I needed to hear your voice. I like, you know what I mean? Oh God, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[59:34] Oh, yeah, because I remember one time my mom was like drunk, passed out in her bedroom and locked the door and she had the phone in there. I was freaking the fuck out.

Speaker 2:
[59:41] This is back when they had a house phone. There's only one phone in the house, people. So you don't know if all you youngins don't know what it's like. We need a house phone that's off the charger. First off, don't charge. If you don't have a house phone, you're a motherfucker.

Speaker 1:
[59:52] No, dude, she had a lock on her fucking bed. I was livid. I need to hear his voice. I was freaking out. I was probably looking like I needed to be in a psych ward. I was so pissed because I couldn't get to the fucking phone. I had an addiction to that thing.

Speaker 2:
[60:06] No, I know. But do you remember when we were younger, it was like, I don't know, we just, I had to, like, we, so how do you, like I said, soulmate thing, how do you explain that? How do you explain that just intensity of desire to want to be with somebody else and constantly be with them and talk to them and hear their voice and hug and touch house shit?

Speaker 4:
[60:23] I can't, it's hard, I can't really explain it.

Speaker 2:
[60:25] How else do you explain it?

Speaker 1:
[60:26] Yeah, it's just, it's like somebody that you find that you can just completely be yourself and.

Speaker 2:
[60:31] It's almost like you figure as individual thing for so long and then you find someone where it's like, just mash.

Speaker 1:
[60:37] Yeah, it's weird, it's kind of hard to, you can't really explain it.

Speaker 2:
[60:40] It's so hard to explain, that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to use like, liquid forming and to get, I don't even know how to explain it.

Speaker 4:
[60:45] I'm like, think of my own way, how do you get all scientific on us?

Speaker 2:
[60:47] I'm like, oh, it's like flowing together, liquid, I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[60:52] But no, I think it's important that, yeah, you just have to stay connected, talk, laugh together, continually, you know, continue to date each other, have the hard conversations.

Speaker 2:
[61:01] And I also think it's important, I think one thing that we've always done really well is, we challenge each other in a really good, positive, healthy way. Like we challenge each other in certain things that we, if we believe something or whatever, and we just kind of banter back and forth, and we constantly are searching for ways to like check in, subconsciously in a way, you know, just like, there's so many different things that I feel like keep us together. But like I said, it's not, it's a lot of things, but it's not like, it doesn't feel like debilitating hard labor work.

Speaker 1:
[61:34] Yeah, no.

Speaker 2:
[61:35] And I, and I, sometimes I get like thrown off and people say like, well, you know, it's a lot of hard work. And it's like, I know, but.

Speaker 1:
[61:41] Should it be that hard?

Speaker 2:
[61:43] Really? I mean.

Speaker 1:
[61:44] No, I feel like it should be just like flowing.

Speaker 2:
[61:47] Because even our hardest moments, our hardest moments of treatments and just me not knowing what the fuck. I really do blame whatever. I'm not going to go. But anyway, I feel like the separation had to happen almost like following a rule.

Speaker 1:
[62:01] Because it's therapist hated me.

Speaker 2:
[62:03] No, that was from the fucking Arizona trip. You wanted us to go on. Oh, remember we are sitting.

Speaker 1:
[62:07] No, you wanted that before we even went there. And that's why I was like, we need to go here. And then it didn't change our mind.

Speaker 2:
[62:12] Yeah, no. Oh, God, what a nightmare. But anyway, even those hardest moments, there was never a time when I'm like, I'm divorcing you, I don't want to be with you, we're never going to be together. I wonder what it's like not to be with you. Does that make sense? I always, even the hard parts, I'm always like, all right, we're in a hard part. But I never saw the end of that hard part being not together. Do you know what I'm saying? So I never had to like fight or do hard work. I felt like to keep us together. Yeah, I was like, oh, we're going to be together. I know that for a fact. It's just we're this weird little thing right now. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[62:46] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:47] Where I hear a lot of situations where it's like, oh, I don't know if I want to be with them anymore.

Speaker 1:
[62:51] Right, they're fighting to keep that want.

Speaker 2:
[62:53] Yeah. And it's like, I never had to fight to keep, I never had to fight to keep that desire. That makes sense.

Speaker 1:
[62:59] No, it does.

Speaker 2:
[63:00] There were times when it was like, ooh, timeline hit me where it was like, oh, do we get married now or later? That stuff was like, but it never was, don't want to marry you at all. It was like, do I want to marry you now?

Speaker 1:
[63:12] Right.

Speaker 2:
[63:12] You got to say, it's more or less like a timeline thing that if I go back and think of any of the hard, hard times, you know?

Speaker 1:
[63:19] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[63:20] What do you feel like?

Speaker 1:
[63:21] No, I think that's accurate.

Speaker 2:
[63:22] All right, yeah, so I was like, I don't, was there ever a time where you were like, I don't know if I could be, I can't be with them anymore, right?

Speaker 1:
[63:28] No, never.

Speaker 2:
[63:29] Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[63:29] No, never.

Speaker 2:
[63:30] I never asked you that, but I was like, hmm.

Speaker 1:
[63:32] No, absolutely, no, never.

Speaker 2:
[63:33] It's okay.

Speaker 1:
[63:34] No, no, there never has been.

Speaker 2:
[63:37] But like, and that's what I mean, though, is that like, I think if for people who have actually asked that question to themselves, I don't know if I want to do this anymore, I can see why you think it's hard work.

Speaker 4:
[63:46] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[63:46] Do you know what I'm saying? Because I can't imagine coming back from that thought, or, you know, or, yeah, yeah. The thought to enter already tells me that, yeah, I guess it would be hard work to go.

Speaker 1:
[64:00] To make yourself want to, oh, no, I could be.

Speaker 4:
[64:02] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[64:03] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4:
[64:04] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[64:05] That's what I mean. So I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[64:08] But I see. I like when we do question and answer stuff, but I do want to figure out a way that we could have.

Speaker 2:
[64:13] I know. What do we do?

Speaker 1:
[64:13] The fans are more involved. So we'll keep you updated on that one.

Speaker 2:
[64:18] I'm the Q&A. It's fun.

Speaker 1:
[64:19] Yeah, me too. So I'm going to brainstorm some ways that maybe we can get you guys to pop in and actually.

Speaker 2:
[64:26] Interact?

Speaker 5:
[64:26] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[64:27] And like hear you on the episode.

Speaker 2:
[64:28] Break It Down! phone line.

Speaker 1:
[64:29] Right.

Speaker 5:
[64:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[64:31] Because something like that would be cool. I just had to figure out a way to do it because TikTok was not working. And make sure that you guys please go like our show and rate and review it. Also, please make sure that you guys check out our Patreon page. We upload the video episodes a week after the audio airs. And that's super fun. We have a great community there.

Speaker 2:
[64:54] But we're also going to be starting to take the video clips and putting it on YouTube. So, I think...

Speaker 1:
[64:58] Just longer, like 15 minutes.

Speaker 2:
[64:59] Just like, yeah, 10 minute clips, so that way people who don't really, you know, want to go to the Patreon route, at least we can give them something video-wise. And we'll try to cut the best part, the basic good parts of it and put it on YouTube. And then, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[65:15] But Patreon's fun, too. We have a good community of people there. Love Patreon. And I think it's different when you can, like, visually watch something. But I just want you guys to know that, you know, we love you guys. We are so thankful for the support and the love that you guys give us. And we love just talking to you guys. So I'm going to try to figure out a way that I can bring you guys into the conversation for certain episodes, because I think that would be fun and different.

Speaker 2:
[65:41] But in the meantime, you can always DM Cate & Ty Break It Down on Instagram. Any questions or topics you want us to cover? Yeah. Or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[65:50] And like if people follow our Instagram, the Cate & Ty Break It Down Instagram, I do do like posts and sometimes I ask people to tell me like their secret, juicy secrets and we always keep those anonymous and those are super funny and interesting. And that's where we usually post to like what do you guys want to ask us and things of that nature.

Speaker 2:
[66:07] If you're new to watching us or listening to us. I keep thinking like you guys have been with us forever, but it's oh yeah, there's probably.

Speaker 1:
[66:14] Right.

Speaker 2:
[66:14] We keep getting new people and new subscribers. Oh yeah, by the way, you're new here. So hey, that's what we do.

Speaker 1:
[66:20] Right. But it's all, it's Cate & Ty Break It Down on all platforms, like Instagram. And also if people aren't aware too, we do have a Facebook fan page that we've ran for many, many years. And that is Catelynn and Tyler's fan page. And we actually do run that one. Yeah, we're the only. I should post it on our Instagram so people can see it. Which one it is. But we actually do, we run that one. So that is really me or Ty on there messaging you guys back or posting the videos.

Speaker 2:
[66:48] Or liking the comments or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[66:49] Yeah. And that's a good place. We have a big community over there. And that's super fun. And yeah, so we are going to get out of here. We have some Christmas shopping that we're going to do. I have to go get some stocking stuffers for the kids. And I hope you guys stay safe out there. And we will talk to you guys next week.

Speaker 5:
[67:09] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[67:10] Love you. Bye.

Speaker 2:
[67:10] Bye. We're coming at you with everything we got.

Speaker 5:
[67:29] With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise, and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

Speaker 3:
[67:46] It's Cale Lowry, join me for Barely Famous. You might think you know me, but trust me, you don't know this version of me. This is where I say what everyone is too scared to ask and ask the questions that nobody wants to answer. I'm talking exes, unexpected guests, viral chaos, messy relationships, really just all of it. Nothing is off limits, nothing is off the record, and yeah, things can get a little unhinged. It's real, it's raw, and it's probably gonna make you gasp at least once. So follow, rate, and review Barely Famous wherever you get your podcasts.