transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:02] This is a Headgum Podcast.

Speaker 2:
[00:10] Hacks is back for its fifth and final season, and so is the Hacks Podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs and Jen Statsky, as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writers' room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season.

Speaker 3:
[00:31] Watch Hacks streaming exclusively on HBO Max, and listen to the Hacks Podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 4:
[01:02] And we are back. And we are back.

Speaker 5:
[01:05] We were just going on the classic movie, I'm Gonna Get You Sucker.

Speaker 6:
[01:11] That was just something fierce.

Speaker 7:
[01:12] That was just something fierce.

Speaker 5:
[01:14] Gareth, what's a movie that when you watch just kind of defined it for you? Just said like, This is it. I want to get in the business. I love this movie.

Speaker 4:
[01:23] This is just what I like.

Speaker 7:
[01:25] You know, when I was a kid, I fancied myself a Michael J.

Speaker 6:
[01:29] Fox. So back to the future.

Speaker 5:
[01:31] Oh my God. I've never seen that comp for you.

Speaker 7:
[01:35] Back to the future was like it for me. And I remember I used to go to supercuts.

Speaker 8:
[01:40] That's adorable, Gareth.

Speaker 7:
[01:42] I used to go to supercuts and every now and then someone would be like, you kind of look like Michael J. Fox. And I would be like, you don't say the chemicals in my body are reacting in a way that I'm going to have trouble containing my enthusiasm for what you've got to say.

Speaker 5:
[01:55] I never saw that comp, but you got a little Michael J.

Speaker 6:
[01:58] And that was he was it for me.

Speaker 5:
[02:00] So what is it?

Speaker 7:
[02:01] Everything. I mean, I had the hard way of war casual. Well, I mean, I liked it, but I was more of the hard way. Like I would watch I would watch his bad movies over and over. I would be a staunch defender of Doc Hollywood.

Speaker 4:
[02:15] Interesting.

Speaker 5:
[02:16] What did you love about Michael J?

Speaker 6:
[02:19] I just thought he was.

Speaker 7:
[02:20] I don't know.

Speaker 6:
[02:21] I thought he was.

Speaker 7:
[02:22] I loved Family Ties. He was funny on Family Ties. And then Back to the Future was just one. I mean, it was, you know, we're getting back to it now. But when movies were enormous events, like I watched Jaws the other day on a plane. And then after I was just kind of googling around about it, it's like that changed culture. The movies that absolutely shook a season of entertainment, and it was everywhere. And Back to the Future, I just liked Michael J. Fox's style. I don't know. What about you?

Speaker 5:
[02:57] Well, in terms of changed culture really fast, we were doing New Girl, Rob Reiner, the great Rob Reiner came on and was Zoe's dad. And he would just fill the set with stories. He was just one of those like, he was exactly who you wanted him to be. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[03:15] Funny and warm.

Speaker 5:
[03:17] Sharing. But jokey, willing to improvise. He and Zoe doing like song numbers in between stuff. And we got to talking about TV, and we were all just saying what we love about it. And that is like, you know, a lot of people see it and it become parts of culture. And then he would go, you know, it's different. He goes, the numbers keep going down in TV as there's different ways. But he goes, when I was doing All in the Family, he said, you would record a joke that you knew hit, and you'd go like, oh, that's a huge laugh. And you'd go, and it happens at the 13 minute mark of the episode. So you would know when America would all laugh together, because as it would be coming up, you could almost feel, because everybody watched it at the same time.

Speaker 6:
[04:05] Crazy.

Speaker 5:
[04:06] And I thought, man, that's what's missing.

Speaker 7:
[04:09] I agree.

Speaker 5:
[04:10] Like that is so nice that culturally everybody watched the same movie when it opened.

Speaker 6:
[04:16] You had lines.

Speaker 5:
[04:17] We were all affected. Yeah, it doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 7:
[04:22] It doesn't. I mean, well, New Girl was one of the, you know, I mean, even then you can watch. But there was communal.

Speaker 5:
[04:27] No, New Girl was different. But people find it in there. New Girl is still, people are still finding it for the first time.

Speaker 7:
[04:33] Oh, yeah. But that's the luxury of the secondary market.

Speaker 5:
[04:37] But the other era was you saw it together and it happened. And then creatives all adjusted to it. Then it influenced other things.

Speaker 7:
[04:45] Think about The Sopranos. Like when that was like ending, you were, everybody for the most part was finding, if you had HBO, you'd find someone who had HBO, whatever it was, and you'd watch it at the same exact time. What about The Sopranos finale? Everybody watched it and was like, what the fuck just happened? I mean, it was fully a shared moment.

Speaker 5:
[05:07] That used to happen back in the day with Mike Tyson fights.

Speaker 7:
[05:11] Oh yeah. Sports is the only thing that still, it's still-

Speaker 5:
[05:13] Sports still go on. Yeah, sports still goes on.

Speaker 7:
[05:16] It's different, but it really was. I mean, you just had, this is so get off my lawn shit, but you just had less options.

Speaker 5:
[05:24] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[05:25] So you savored what you had more.

Speaker 5:
[05:28] Yeah. When I was a kid, it was always Bill Murray.

Speaker 7:
[05:31] It was.

Speaker 5:
[05:33] Well, he just, he looked like my family. He talked to like my family. It just felt like he also was weird looking. He had acne scars.

Speaker 6:
[05:44] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[05:46] Do you know, there was like a certain, but there was like a certain people pre-involved on TV and movies, they have a certain look. And I was like, those people never make me laugh. The guys who make me laugh are like my uncle, who's so funny or that like random guy is so funny. And Bill Murray was the beginning of like, I would watch him and be like, that's just a fucking guy in the restaurant.

Speaker 6:
[06:10] Completely. And he'd be a love interest.

Speaker 5:
[06:13] And he would be, but even as a love interest, you'd be like, his shirt doesn't look good. I'd be like, he's balding. And then he would be so charming. You'd go like, I think she might like him. Yeah. And it was like, for me, groundhogs, I was like, this fucking guy was incredible. But then it was that for a while. And then when I saw Bottle Rocket and Swingers, that era-

Speaker 7:
[06:40] Yeah, because you felt like you could achieve.

Speaker 5:
[06:43] No, because I felt like I was never a big, I was an SNL guy as a kid. But I stopped being into that shit in like fourth, fifth grade. So I liked all that stuff. But by the time I was in like high school, I was like, I don't know what it is. I was like, my dream is not to be, I don't want to be doing, you know, I just, there was a lot of stuff. I was like, I don't want to be on that. Yeah. I want it. I need it, but that's not the dream. And then when I saw Bottle Rocket, I was like, I want to be in that. I literally want to be Dignan. Dignan. I don't want to do something similar. I want to be him. And I want to be in a movie where I have the crew and then I get ripped off. And then at the end I'm in jail. And then right after that was like, when I saw Swingers and then I saw Maid, I was like, oh, I want to be in a connection with like a John Favreau and I want to be Vince Vaughn, or I'll be John Favreau. I don't care. I love, then I saw Rushmore and I was like, yeah, I was like, fuck. And then those guys did the bigger ones, like the old school. And I'm like, that's the bigger studio version, but it's funny as hell. Really quick question, then we'll get out of this intro. Who are the stand ups you looked up to?

Speaker 7:
[07:56] The first stand up I loved was Louis Anderson.

Speaker 5:
[07:59] Interesting.

Speaker 7:
[08:01] I remember him doing bits about his mother. And I was just, I thought that he was the funniest person on earth. Then I started to get, once I started watching Robin Williams, but I literally remember watching, going to Blockbuster and renting Louis Anderson stand up specials. And just watching him do impressions of his mom, the cat licks the butter, then the cat's dead. And I just was like, I was just dying laughing. In heaven.

Speaker 6:
[08:33] I mean, he just did impressions of his parents the whole time.

Speaker 7:
[08:36] Because in the 80, I mean, you still have this to some extent you've got to, you know, a stand up will make fun of their appearance or whatever the fuck. That is not appealing to me. And he had to do that. That was like the, you know, the opening he had to talk about how big he was or whatever. But the second that he started to talk about his family, it, you know, his dad was just big as shit. Yeah. His dad just kind of this acerbic aggressive, ultra American man. His mom just paranoid about everything. He's got those big doughy eyes that he just fucking killed me.

Speaker 5:
[09:10] That's amazing. Everybody enjoy the show.

Speaker 7:
[09:14] Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you, if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help, it drops a day early on Hulu. So you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two. So get involved. And we are brought to you by Verasity. Most protein powders don't help with cravings, but Verasity Power Protein helps solve cravings once and for all.

Speaker 4:
[09:45] I mean, let's be honest, I'm a man who's looking to get healthier as I age.

Speaker 5:
[09:49] Got some cholesterol issues, got some thickness. I got to get the body fat down, keep the muscle up. We're getting older. At least I am. And Gareth is, although he hates to admit it.

Speaker 7:
[10:00] We are sponsored by Verasity. It's an all-natural way to get the protein that you need. They're revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause, metabolism. More protein in your diet is just a better way to satisfy your cravings. That's why Verasity's doctor developed metabolic power protein is the way. Metabolic power protein is your daily sidekick for a healthy metabolism, sustainable energy and appetite control. It's two scoops, 20 grams of plant-based protein, which I like. They've got a great mission. They're trying to help those of us with a slower protein and those of us who are bragging about the protein. This is the only natural option I found out there to help with this. Get the protein in your diet you need to satisfy your cravings the natural way with Verasity.

Speaker 5:
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Speaker 7:
[10:52] Once again, that's V-E-R-A-C-I-T-Y health dot C-O for 65% off. Make sure you use our promo code here to help so they know that we sent you. We are brought to you by Quince. We love Quince. We're here to help.

Speaker 5:
[11:09] All I do these days is I wear black shirt and black pants. I started to dress like a stage manager at a theater for some reason.

Speaker 9:
[11:14] These days is a hilarious thing to say.

Speaker 5:
[11:15] But here's the thing about Quince to give a shout out. They sent us, Gareth, you and I, I don't know if they sent them to you, Stevie. They should, but they sent us a bunch of shirts or clothes, a link to pick out some clothes. And I got four black shirts. And my stylist that was sent to me through Apple, this woman Annie, whenever I have to do a big press stage, she comes by and she goes, what are you wearing these days? And they always make fun of me because the clothes I wear are terrible. And I showed the Quince shirts and she goes, what are you doing in Quince shirts? And I go, this is what I wear now. She goes, this is the first time your clothes are cool. She goes, wear that. And I go, I can wear my own clothes.

Speaker 7:
[11:52] I know.

Speaker 5:
[11:53] I wear Quince now to like when I do like a press day.

Speaker 7:
[11:55] For my special, I had my friend Jill like pick out my outfit. And everything she sent me was from Quince. And I was like, I love Quince. She was like, how the hell does an idiot love Quince?

Speaker 5:
[12:06] That's what it is. So Quince is kind of it. So guys, right now go to quince.com/here to help for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will. It's now available in Canada too. So don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to quince, q u i n c e.com/here to help for free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com/here to help.

Speaker 4:
[12:37] This episode is brought to you by Wayfair.

Speaker 7:
[12:39] That's right, Jake. It's Way Day at Wayfair. So from April 25th through the 27th, you could score the best deals in home. You can get 80% off with free shipping of everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what you need in your house. If you want decor improvements, I... Yeah, I really, when I went on Wayfair, I was like, oh my goodness, it's everything. It's overwhelming.

Speaker 4:
[13:02] I'll tell you, what I bought on Wayfair was a robot vacuum.

Speaker 7:
[13:05] Yeah, what's... How is that going?

Speaker 5:
[13:07] It's going good. I had had one before.

Speaker 7:
[13:09] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[13:10] I got the early version of it, so I keep buying them. I give it a name and then there's a little remote I control, so I can go at my dogs a little bit and I can go at my wife's feet, and then I can pretend that the robot likes me more than her.

Speaker 7:
[13:25] It's interesting. This took a really... What? You said you named it?

Speaker 5:
[13:28] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[13:28] Do we get to... No. We all want to know the robot's name. I got a little thing for the end of the bed where I put all the bedding, like a grown man should.

Speaker 5:
[13:37] What would you name it? Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking about up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. So head to wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's Wayfair, wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hello.

Speaker 1:
[14:08] Hi.

Speaker 5:
[14:09] Hey, how are you?

Speaker 1:
[14:11] I'm good. How are you?

Speaker 5:
[14:13] Good. Can we get your first name, please?

Speaker 1:
[14:16] My name is Jenna.

Speaker 5:
[14:18] Jenna. Where are you calling from, Jenna?

Speaker 1:
[14:21] Cincinnati, Ohio.

Speaker 5:
[14:22] Cincinnati, Ohio.

Speaker 1:
[14:25] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[14:25] Hi, Jenna.

Speaker 5:
[14:27] That's Jenna. Hi. That's Jenna.

Speaker 10:
[14:32] You sound so excited. I'm so curious to know what you're going to say.

Speaker 5:
[14:36] Well, first of all, that is Jess Rona, Jenna. From Jess Rona Grooming. She's an actress.

Speaker 10:
[14:42] That is where I'm from.

Speaker 5:
[14:43] She's a comedian. But she has created such a monster of a business, apart from her other talents. Bless you. That is impressive.

Speaker 10:
[14:53] Wow. Thank you so much. I receive with gratitude. Thank you.

Speaker 5:
[14:57] With gratitude and love.

Speaker 10:
[14:59] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[15:00] So Jenna, you also got the Care Bear Gareth Reynolds is here.

Speaker 10:
[15:05] Hello.

Speaker 5:
[15:06] He hasn't created a side business like Jess Rona Grooming. They exploded on social media for you, Jess.

Speaker 10:
[15:13] I really did. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[15:14] Jess made these videos where you would put like a song to a dog.

Speaker 10:
[15:18] Yeah. That's old school. I used to make these videos of dogs blowing in the wind in slow-mo and then the song would crescendo as the hair would blow and the eyes would walk into camera. It was very epic. And that's kind of what got it all started. Yeah. It's awesome.

Speaker 5:
[15:31] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[15:32] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[15:33] So, Jenna, anything we should know about you before we start?

Speaker 1:
[15:39] Um, got any dogs? Uh, I don't have any dogs. I do have a cat. Oh, what's the cat's name? Her name is Lizzie. She's the best.

Speaker 5:
[15:52] Did you name, well, how come you came up with the name Lizzie for a cat? What made you think of that?

Speaker 1:
[15:58] Well, so when we got her, we thought she was a boy, so we called her Grizzy. And then when we found out she was a girl, I didn't care having her name Grizzy, but apparently my family cared. So they were like, let's make it Lizzie. And I was like, okay, now she's got like a human name, but it fits her, it agrees. I love it.

Speaker 6:
[16:18] That's so cute.

Speaker 5:
[16:20] Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 10:
[16:22] I love that.

Speaker 1:
[16:23] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[16:23] Now this is gonna be the only-

Speaker 5:
[16:25] Go ahead, Jess.

Speaker 10:
[16:26] I was just gonna say like, like human people names, like Chris for an animal, it just cracks me up. There's really no dog named Chris.

Speaker 5:
[16:34] No.

Speaker 10:
[16:34] There's just really no dog named Chris, but I doubt, I bet this is the only Lizzie the cat.

Speaker 5:
[16:39] I feel the same way. It's just such a regular name.

Speaker 7:
[16:43] Dave Anthony has a dog named Larry, and it's endlessly funny.

Speaker 10:
[16:47] Oh, kid, I love that.

Speaker 5:
[16:48] Larry's been in here. But Larry's a funny name. Lizzie or Chris, as a dog, like, you know, oh, by the way, Steve Berg has a cat named David. And he has one named Steven Jr. Yeah, but David killed me, comedians.

Speaker 7:
[17:02] David Berman, I think, because it's named David Berman.

Speaker 10:
[17:05] That is so funny. How did I not know that?

Speaker 5:
[17:07] Yeah, that's pretty good.

Speaker 9:
[17:08] It's Steven Jr. That's so cute.

Speaker 8:
[17:10] Yeah, it's insane.

Speaker 5:
[17:11] Jenna, what is the problem today? Take over.

Speaker 1:
[17:15] So my problem that I need help with you guys today is how do I explain to my 78-year-old father that my husband and I do in fact know how to have children and how the process works. We just haven't yet.

Speaker 5:
[17:33] Explain this problem. What does it mean?

Speaker 1:
[17:35] So he lives with my sister and he apparently over the last couple of months has been talking to my sister worried that my husband and I don't know how to make a baby. Apparently, he thinks that we don't understand how to conceive a child. And the reason we know this is because he looked my sister dead in the eyes and goes, do you think they know they need to keep it in?

Speaker 5:
[18:02] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[18:03] What? Yeah. And so my sister calls me and she goes, Jenna, you have to have a conversation with dad. He thinks you don't understand how to have kids. And I have reassured him multiple times that you guys know what you're doing. But he thinks you just don't understand how it works.

Speaker 5:
[18:21] Okay. I'm going to jump in something for Jess and Gareth here. This call is not about does Jenna want kids. And it's not about the dad's behavior about anything regarding his desire to be a grandpa.

Speaker 7:
[18:39] It's not about telling the dad, no, we're not having kids.

Speaker 5:
[18:42] It's not even having that conversation. This is how do we explain to Jenna's dad or how does Jenna, that she and her husband actually know how to have sex and make a baby if they want it? Is that correct, Jenna?

Speaker 1:
[18:58] That is exactly right. And yes, we do want kids. It just hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 5:
[19:03] But also, but this is the stuff you need to talk to your dad about.

Speaker 10:
[19:06] Yeah, I'm picturing a scene.

Speaker 5:
[19:09] Where do you keep going?

Speaker 10:
[19:09] I'm picturing a scene where we're in neutral ground. So there's no emotions. We're just neutral. You know, maybe there's like a cup of coffee, a Chipotle. Great. Well, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[19:20] Okay.

Speaker 10:
[19:20] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[19:21] Cup of coffee.

Speaker 6:
[19:22] Sure.

Speaker 10:
[19:23] Just something. And then you can just sit dad down and just say, hey, can we talk?

Speaker 5:
[19:28] Keep going.

Speaker 10:
[19:30] And just keep it really grounded, connect, eye contact, and then just let him know. Like, you understand how babies are made.

Speaker 5:
[19:39] Jess, let's do this really fast.

Speaker 10:
[19:40] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[19:41] It's you and me in the scene. I'll be the dad.

Speaker 10:
[19:43] Okay. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[19:44] Let's just see how that plays. Because that feels, I'm hearing it, but I'm not positive. So we're in a neutral area.

Speaker 10:
[19:50] And you call your dad dad. You just say dad.

Speaker 1:
[19:54] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[19:54] I call him dad.

Speaker 5:
[19:56] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[19:56] All right.

Speaker 10:
[19:57] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[19:57] Here you go.

Speaker 10:
[19:58] Hey, this is like, okay, we've already scheduled this thing.

Speaker 11:
[20:02] Yeah, we're just hanging.

Speaker 10:
[20:03] We're just hanging. Dad, I was wondering if I could just talk to you for a little bit. Of course. Okay. I've heard that you don't think that I know how babies are made. Well, I mean. Is that true? No, I just.

Speaker 5:
[20:19] Well, you don't have a baby. I don't know if you guys know what you're doing because it's not that hard to do. I know. I know.

Speaker 10:
[20:26] But you really think we don't know as adults?

Speaker 5:
[20:29] You don't have a baby.

Speaker 2:
[20:31] You don't have a baby. It's not that hard to do.

Speaker 10:
[20:33] So the only way you would think we know is if we had- Right.

Speaker 5:
[20:37] Me and your mom made you.

Speaker 10:
[20:40] Have you ever considered that we don't want a kid and we know how to have a baby?

Speaker 5:
[20:44] Jess, that's not what this is about.

Speaker 10:
[20:45] Okay, you're right. I thought about it when I said that.

Speaker 1:
[20:48] That's not what this is about.

Speaker 5:
[20:49] This is why I wanted to run it.

Speaker 1:
[20:51] I don't know if I literally like I don't know if I can look my dad in the eyes and be like, I know how to have sex.

Speaker 5:
[20:58] I just feel like- Okay, so Jenna, hold on, let's do this really fast.

Speaker 1:
[21:02] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[21:02] Jenna, before we do that really fast, Gareth, you're the dad. Jenna, let's hear how you would say it to your dad. Let's hear you do it.

Speaker 1:
[21:13] Okay. Hey, dad, can I talk to you for a second?

Speaker 6:
[21:18] Absolutely, Jenna.

Speaker 1:
[21:22] Yeah. Hey, so I know that you love kids.

Speaker 6:
[21:27] It's a legacy.

Speaker 1:
[21:28] You love them all, right? Love them all. Yeah. And I know you're wor- You're right. I know that you're worried maybe that why we haven't had any kids yet. And I want to let you know.

Speaker 7:
[21:42] There's got to be a reason.

Speaker 1:
[21:43] So well, I know you're you might think that we we don't know what we're doing, but I promise you, dad, I know how to have sex. Okay, I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 6:
[21:58] But well, did your sister talk to you?

Speaker 1:
[22:02] Yeah, yeah, she told me.

Speaker 6:
[22:04] The problem is not the sex.

Speaker 7:
[22:07] It's the very end is really the key to all of this stuff.

Speaker 1:
[22:12] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[22:13] You have to- There's the last part, which maybe you don't know. I don't think I explained it right when you were kids.

Speaker 1:
[22:23] Well, I think mom had that conversation with us.

Speaker 6:
[22:26] But I should have been there. I was working.

Speaker 5:
[22:30] Really interesting take on dad.

Speaker 1:
[22:34] You did a lot for us, dad.

Speaker 5:
[22:37] Also, not what the call is about, Gareth.

Speaker 6:
[22:40] I'm in the middle of something.

Speaker 5:
[22:41] Sorry.

Speaker 1:
[22:44] I know that you're worried that we're not keeping it in long enough, but I promise you we are. He's finished.

Speaker 7:
[22:49] He's done.

Speaker 6:
[22:50] He's done, done.

Speaker 5:
[22:52] All right, Jenna, I'm going to jump in here. Your instincts to kill this was right. This is not something that could happen with you and your dad.

Speaker 6:
[23:02] I've enjoyed it.

Speaker 1:
[23:02] It's insane. I can't believe this is even happening to me, that I even have to have this conversation with my father.

Speaker 5:
[23:08] But I wanted to run that by because it was our first pitch. And I wanted to see. I don't think we do. A lot of people listen to the show and go, just go the straight shot. So we tried the straight shot. I think that would be a really weird thing to do with your dad. Jenna, what are you kind of feeling right now? Are you feeling you want to walk away from the straight conversation and see if there's another way to do it?

Speaker 1:
[23:31] That's what I would like to do. I mean, if I have to talk through the street, I'm sure I could if you maybe help. I just think a different way might be better.

Speaker 5:
[23:39] Okay. In your heart of hearts, what zone are you kind of thinking? Because we can just start pitching, but...

Speaker 10:
[23:48] Yeah. Also, what if you made it like a joke? What if you're cleaning up after dinner and you're just making a joke of it? Like, oh, dad doesn't think I know how to have a baby, but I don't know that's the word.

Speaker 5:
[24:02] That's interesting.

Speaker 10:
[24:03] There's not a joke, but just that kind of energy.

Speaker 7:
[24:05] I got some ideas along that line, which is like you could just set up a series of moments. Like, have dad over for eclairs, and as you're making the eclairs, you fill the eclair, and either you or your husband go, leave it in, finish on the inside, just like making a baby, huh, dad?

Speaker 1:
[24:25] Or...

Speaker 10:
[24:26] That's a good one.

Speaker 5:
[24:27] Or, Jenna, you never say the making the baby. You do it like the movies used to do it, where they're comedically similar, that showing sex happens between two characters, where you have like a rocket ship takeoff, or you've got like a drill bit going over and over and over again.

Speaker 1:
[24:42] Drilling the oil and the montage.

Speaker 5:
[24:45] The montage.

Speaker 10:
[24:46] Or you could also do something passive-aggressive and just leave a bunch of books and literature around, like this is how babies are made, so you don't even have to say anything. You could just be like, oh, just doing some light reading, and like, I know all the stuff that's in this book.

Speaker 5:
[25:00] Or you could also do the passive-aggressive. Next time he comes over, leave a bunch of condoms in your bathroom so that he's like, oh, they know what they're doing. They just don't want.

Speaker 10:
[25:11] Don't want it.

Speaker 7:
[25:12] That's a pretty good pitch, too. I was going to also say have him over, have some pizza and put on an animal documentary, just like random, oh, let's watch this. But you've queued it up, and it's just wildlife fucking. And you very easily can just be like, oh, yeah, well, they're going to have some young soon.

Speaker 5:
[25:30] Or here's a crazy idea. Here's a crazy idea on that one, Jenna. Let's heighten this and make your dad, because your dad is the guy who created this problem, not you. So yeah, put a documentary on of animals fucking and go, dad, what are they doing? Make him do the talk. He's talking behind your back. I'm a big believer of what you say behind someone's back. You better be able to say it to their face. So behind your back-

Speaker 10:
[25:59] You have to listen to her dad explain it.

Speaker 5:
[26:01] I know it, but then it's going to kill him. But behind his back, he's saying, I don't know what they know what they're doing. So then go like, dad, what are those rhinos doing? And he'll go like, you know, and you go like this, I don't. And he'll go, we're having sex. And you go like that. And then have him go like, honey, this is like- And then have your husband go, I've never seen an action like that in my life, sir.

Speaker 7:
[26:26] I love it. I think we got to-

Speaker 5:
[26:28] Go ahead, Jenna.

Speaker 1:
[26:30] No, I love that. I think my husband, I think my husband would totally be game because when I told him about this, he was like, oh my god. Does your dad, like, what is your dad thinking? I love that. But Gareth, what were you going to say?

Speaker 7:
[26:46] I don't want to talk past the close. I like that you like it. I think it's funny.

Speaker 5:
[26:49] Pitch baby, pitch baby.

Speaker 7:
[26:50] My last one was going to be have him over here, a phone call where your friend is pregnant and is kind of upset about it. And you go, dad, it's kind of weird, but it's like, normally, I guess they don't take a lot of precaution. She's not on the pill. She thought he pulled out, but I guess he finished inside. And now she's crying.

Speaker 8:
[27:09] This is so sad. Yeah. So Jenna.

Speaker 7:
[27:12] The animal stuff is more fun.

Speaker 10:
[27:14] That's really, yeah, but I really like the pregnant one.

Speaker 5:
[27:16] Me too. Let's not think fun, let's think effective. And then we can make effective fun. What do you like, Jenna?

Speaker 1:
[27:24] I like the idea of turning on something with animals only because I don't think that I can say the words finishing inside. Like, I just don't think I can say those words to my mother. One feels better.

Speaker 5:
[27:39] Well, it's too bad. I don't know if I could say this around my mom.

Speaker 1:
[27:43] Could you say like to completion? My mother's here right now. What did your mom say? What about it? What did you say?

Speaker 5:
[27:49] An erection?

Speaker 1:
[27:50] We're not.

Speaker 5:
[27:50] No, no, no. She said to completion.

Speaker 3:
[27:53] Is that better?

Speaker 1:
[27:54] No, no, no. No, no, no. I just feel like it is so... It's just so weird that like, I just don't think I could say the... I think if we pulled something up and maybe we kind of just played dumb and see maybe how he explained it, maybe that would get his... Maybe then it would give him the opportunity to say his piece.

Speaker 5:
[28:17] Or admit in that moment that he's being ridiculous behind your back and you guys might know.

Speaker 1:
[28:23] Oh, yeah. Like, like once you could do it, like...

Speaker 5:
[28:29] If he boxed Jenna, then you could go... I thought you were telling... What's your sister's name?

Speaker 1:
[28:36] Her name is Allison.

Speaker 5:
[28:37] You could go like...

Speaker 10:
[28:38] That's my sister's name.

Speaker 5:
[28:40] You could go like, I thought you were saying to Allison that you didn't know we know what we were doing. What's happening here, dad? And then you go, mind if we film it? He's like, okay, you know what? You guys are being assholes.

Speaker 1:
[28:55] This isn't funny. But it probably would get him to stop.

Speaker 5:
[28:59] That would get him to go, no, no, no, no, no, big daddy. You want to say behind your back, I'm an adult woman, this is my adult husband. So will you explain what's happening to us like the children you think we are? Or I would have your husband do it one on one with them.

Speaker 1:
[29:15] Oh, that might be kind of cool.

Speaker 5:
[29:17] Because then your husband goes to him, he goes on and goes like, Hey, sir, because I'll tell you, I would feel way more comfortable with my wife's family doing something that would mind to go like, Hey, sir, I've got a question for you. And he goes, What's going on? But you know, you know, we're interested in kids. And he goes, I've been dying to hear that. And he goes, You got any idea how to do it? He goes, What do you mean? You go, How the fuck do you get these things? I've been looking all over for him. How do you make him? And he'll go, What? And he goes, I'm actually being serious, sir. How do you make a baby? So that he has to explain to your husband.

Speaker 10:
[29:56] Hubs would really have to commit to that. And he'd have to be a decent actor.

Speaker 7:
[30:00] It's the third party issue. We've got Jenna.

Speaker 5:
[30:03] Yeah, you're right. Okay, you're right.

Speaker 7:
[30:04] All right. My gut is, if you show animals fucking, I mean, this is what I was thinking real quick, Jake. We could have, if we wanted, we could have Kyle just edit together a bunch of animals fucking and it could just be kind of like, what is this? And just throw it on and then it's kind of random, but then you know.

Speaker 10:
[30:24] That would be really nice. That would be of service to Jenna.

Speaker 6:
[30:28] If we wanted, I could do a fake, I could do a fake Attenborough over it and keep saying, and he's finished inside.

Speaker 10:
[30:37] And this is how babies are made. And that's why they'll have a little test on screen.

Speaker 6:
[30:41] He's finished inside.

Speaker 10:
[30:43] You you could also like do a combo. You got your literature, you got your pregnant friend, you got sex on screen with animals like a morning house. He could be like, OK, like that way, you don't even have to speak.

Speaker 7:
[30:54] Then you go to the bathroom, there's condoms stuck to the mirror.

Speaker 5:
[30:59] So, Jenna, that's fine.

Speaker 1:
[31:00] He sits down on the couch and there's just condoms everywhere.

Speaker 6:
[31:03] Oh, sorry.

Speaker 10:
[31:03] I don't hate that.

Speaker 3:
[31:05] I don't hate that.

Speaker 5:
[31:06] That's kind of the Piggy Otter version of it all.

Speaker 10:
[31:07] That would be a full direct explanation.

Speaker 6:
[31:09] That's so good.

Speaker 5:
[31:11] So, Jenna, I really go ahead. Go to you now, go to you now, because we've given you some pretty good pitches and I think we've got a winner in this mix. But what are you going to do here?

Speaker 1:
[31:23] I really think that if I have my dad over, maybe just with my husband and maybe my mom, because I don't really know if she even knows what's going on with him. But have him come over, we finish eating, we come in the living room and I turn the TV on. It just happens. I love the idea of the commentary with Gareth because then I think it can really get the point across of that and then just saying like, hey, dad, what is this? What is that?

Speaker 5:
[31:59] Jess, would you be willing to be in the commentary too? Yeah. Let's do a Jess and Gareth commentary on it where there are two narrators of this. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[32:12] I think that's great.

Speaker 5:
[32:14] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[32:14] So I think I can, I think I can have it on and I can say, what is this? And hopefully he's going to say, well, what do you mean? What is this? I mean, I, and then I'm assuming he'll probably, I'll say, well, I don't even know what they're doing. And maybe then we go, or what's the best way for me to verbage?

Speaker 5:
[32:33] Do you think after, you know what we could do, Jenna?

Speaker 1:
[32:35] What they're doing?

Speaker 5:
[32:36] You know what we could do, Jenna? At the end of it, Gareth and Jess could say very clearly, we could do this as a prank to your dad, go, what's happening is they're making babies because obviously, and say your dad's name, obviously Craig, Jenna knows how to make babies and you shouldn't talk to her like that.

Speaker 10:
[32:56] Oh, just like really just say it. You can also put text on screen.

Speaker 6:
[33:01] Finishing outside.

Speaker 10:
[33:02] Very big message.

Speaker 6:
[33:04] Planet Earth's finishing inside.

Speaker 5:
[33:07] So that at the end, it finishes and he's allowed to laugh too, but it's going like your behavior is crazy, man. This isn't a talk, this is just getting crazy, dude.

Speaker 10:
[33:20] I think I would actually think that would be really funny.

Speaker 6:
[33:22] I like that.

Speaker 10:
[33:23] I don't know if I should also do the commentary though.

Speaker 1:
[33:27] I like that because then I think, I think my dad would be like, oh yeah, no, okay, I was out of line. Like maybe it'll put it into perspective to him that like, yes, come on, get it together.

Speaker 5:
[33:40] What video do you want from us? What would be the most helpful for you?

Speaker 1:
[33:48] I kind of really like the idea of at the end, like his name is Rick being like, Rick, he knows what he's doing.

Speaker 5:
[33:56] Ooh, how about this? How about this, Jenna? What if it goes on and then your voice comes into the thing?

Speaker 10:
[34:03] Oh, I love that. Hey dad, guess what?

Speaker 5:
[34:07] Hey dad, and then he's hearing, so he's just watching where he's like, what is this? And it's short. It's like 30 seconds where the whole family's like, ew, why are we watching these animals having sex? And then it's like, you know, whatever you want to say, Gareth, you're setting up with like sex in the animal kingdom. It's similar to humans. It's the way the world works. And then all of a sudden it stops at like the climax. We'll have Kyle do like rockets going off, all the things that simulate the end.

Speaker 10:
[34:34] A sponge squeezing.

Speaker 1:
[34:35] A sponge squeezing.

Speaker 10:
[34:38] Firework.

Speaker 5:
[34:39] Firework, all the stuff.

Speaker 6:
[34:40] Oil drilling. That's how it works.

Speaker 3:
[34:42] He's dancing people.

Speaker 5:
[34:44] Yeah, a couple of those dance.

Speaker 10:
[34:45] A couple of randoms.

Speaker 6:
[34:47] Everyone knows, Rick, you just have to finish inside.

Speaker 5:
[34:52] But then, no, not you. Then she jumps in.

Speaker 10:
[34:55] Hey, dad.

Speaker 5:
[34:56] Hey, dad.

Speaker 10:
[34:57] Yeah. Hey, dad, guess what?

Speaker 5:
[34:59] Hey, Rick.

Speaker 10:
[34:59] It's me, Jenna. You can also have Rob. What if we have Jenna and Rob and just being like, hey, dad, it's us. Guess what? We know how babies are made.

Speaker 5:
[35:11] So you don't have to keep- Thank you for watching. Yes. And we're on our own schedule. We know what we're doing. We don't need you talking anymore about it. This is really embarrassing stuff and we hope you're as embarrassed as we've been. And then it's like the last shot is an animal having sex again, where you're just like, ew, and then it goes off.

Speaker 1:
[35:35] I think that that would be, I love the idea of having, hopefully Rob would be game to do it. I think he would be game for having the voice of the end. And we could say, listen, dad, clearly we know what we're doing.

Speaker 5:
[35:48] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[35:49] Stop talking about us behind our backs.

Speaker 5:
[35:51] I love this.

Speaker 1:
[35:52] We will do it when the time is right.

Speaker 10:
[35:53] You know what I'm also picturing?

Speaker 5:
[35:54] I love this.

Speaker 10:
[35:54] Yes, I'm also picturing the montage being like, I know you said 30 seconds, but like, you know, giraffes fucking, cheetahs fucking, just like boom, boom, all these different animals, like crazy. And then over that, like a calm voiceover, hey, dad, it's just like the crazy, just I think that would be really fun. Just, you know, and I love the idea of like the finish, like the rocket and stuff. That could be a fun ending, a big crescendo. Super fun. You can get like a little orchestral music in the background. Yes. Yeah. And even put yourselves on camera. Put yourselves on camera. It could be really low, low buds. Just like get yourself on camera.

Speaker 5:
[36:35] Film yourself. You're just talking about talking on the iPhone where they're on the camera. Oh, my God. What if it's you two guys in bed?

Speaker 6:
[36:41] Yeah, I was just going to say.

Speaker 10:
[36:42] Love that.

Speaker 6:
[36:44] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[36:44] You're just you're in bed.

Speaker 5:
[36:46] You're holding the phone up like this and you guys are laying on your back with your shirts off and you're it's above the shoulders. So it's like you just had sex and go like, OK, dad, we know what we're doing. We just don't have kids yet. Stop talking about us behind our backs.

Speaker 10:
[37:00] So direct and also funny because we wanted dad to laugh a little.

Speaker 11:
[37:04] Yes, of course, but be humiliated.

Speaker 2:
[37:06] Sure, sure.

Speaker 1:
[37:08] Oh, yeah, he would. He would definitely be like, all right. Yeah, no. OK, yeah. OK, yeah. He would probably be like backpedaling, like crazy.

Speaker 5:
[37:17] I didn't say I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

Speaker 10:
[37:20] So I love how your dad's character evolved.

Speaker 5:
[37:24] Just to my dad.

Speaker 1:
[37:25] Yeah. He'd be like, your sister is making this up and I'd be like, no, he's not. No, no.

Speaker 5:
[37:29] You know, we could do as a as a button. There's a beat and then you pause it. And then if your dad says that, then you get video of your sister going, I'm not making this up. Dad really asked. And then it's the direct quote. Oh, that's because then he's and it's also a nice lesson. Stop talking behind each other's backs. Shut up.

Speaker 1:
[37:51] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[37:52] So tell us now what you're going to do.

Speaker 1:
[37:55] I am going to have them over and we're going to have a nice time. We're going to act like nothing's going on, no big deal. We'll come in the living room and I'm going to turn on the TV and just say, oh, let's watch this and whatever, turn it on. And it will be the montage. And there'll be some kind of all of these different animals living their best fucking life and doing everything. And then hopefully some good overlay with some Gareth remarks.

Speaker 10:
[38:31] Do you have an Apple TV, Jenna? I do. Because you can just stream it straight from your computer. So you can make it on your, yeah, and you can get it on the Apple TV.

Speaker 5:
[38:42] Well, we're going to have a guy make it. Yeah. Gareth, will you run point with Kyle? Yeah. Okay. Perfect. So then.

Speaker 10:
[38:49] I'm down to do voiceover if you need. I just feel like it's more authentic to just have the one guy's voice.

Speaker 7:
[38:55] Well, do we even need the voiceover? I mean, do we just want to have that fucking? And then at the end, you just kind of say what it is. Like, we just do the fuck montage, fireworks, oil pump. Then you film your thing and then you just cut it in the end. The oil pump? Yeah. Like drilling for oil.

Speaker 5:
[39:12] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[39:13] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[39:13] Like oil sploosh.

Speaker 7:
[39:15] And then you just go, hey, dad, it's us. We're also animals and we know how it works. We're on our own timeline. Love you.

Speaker 5:
[39:23] And Jenna, you could film that Gareth is going to hook you up with Kyle, who's going to do the editing of this. And so if you film that, he'll just put that in the clip. Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[39:33] So we'll give you a fuck montage of 45 to a minute. And then we'll just end it with you and Rob in bed explaining to your dad, hey, we get it.

Speaker 5:
[39:41] So all we need from you, Jenna, is that 20 second clip to email in. And then the next thing you're going to get is the video. And then we need you to film the whole thing. Your dad watching it, the reaction after.

Speaker 7:
[39:58] Yes. Set the phone up near the TV for when this happens.

Speaker 1:
[40:03] Obviously, I can set my phone up in the corner on my dad. And then I can have like my husband's phone on the TV. And we can get like a full, I can only imagine like this is I hope now he learns.

Speaker 7:
[40:20] Next up, Jenna, film you and Rob in bed. Send that to the show. They'll get it to me. I'll work with our guy, Kyle, and we'll get that back to you. Then you can set up the sting.

Speaker 5:
[40:32] Huge win.

Speaker 7:
[40:33] And we'll go.

Speaker 5:
[40:34] So just to be clear, Jenna, are you excited about this?

Speaker 1:
[40:39] I am so excited about this. And my parents live so close. Like we could do this very quickly. Like it could happen very quickly where we, as long as I give this stuff to him, we'll get it back. I mean, we could do this quickly and hopefully he can just fill the F out, not ask about my time.

Speaker 5:
[40:58] You want to talk to Kyle today? Sure.

Speaker 7:
[41:02] Send that video in and then we'll get the rest done.

Speaker 1:
[41:06] I am so excited that you guys have helped me with this. This is going to be great and-

Speaker 10:
[41:11] It was an honor helping you. I can't wait for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1:
[41:15] Awesome.

Speaker 5:
[41:15] Well, thank you for the call.

Speaker 1:
[41:16] Probably not the craziest thing that you guys have heard, but-

Speaker 7:
[41:20] It's pretty great. I mean, solves great. All right, Jenna, send that in.

Speaker 5:
[41:24] Send it back to us. We'll be in touch with you and thank you so much for the call.

Speaker 7:
[41:28] Thank you, Jenna.

Speaker 1:
[41:29] Thank you guys so much.

Speaker 7:
[41:31] Nice to talk to you.

Speaker 4:
[41:32] You too.

Speaker 1:
[41:32] Thank you.

Speaker 7:
[41:33] Bye-bye.

Speaker 4:
[41:39] This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Speaker 5:
[44:30] That's S-A-I-L-Y.

Speaker 11:
[44:34] Hello?

Speaker 5:
[44:34] Hello.

Speaker 7:
[44:36] Hi.

Speaker 5:
[44:37] Hi, can we get your name, please?

Speaker 11:
[44:39] My name is Haley.

Speaker 5:
[44:41] Haley. Where are you calling from, Haley? Hi, Haley.

Speaker 3:
[44:44] Hi.

Speaker 5:
[44:45] That is the great Jess Rona from Jess Rona Grooming.

Speaker 10:
[44:51] That's me.

Speaker 11:
[44:52] Hi.

Speaker 3:
[44:52] From Jess Rona Grooming.

Speaker 10:
[44:55] Hi. Do you know who that is?

Speaker 11:
[44:59] Do you know?

Speaker 10:
[45:03] It's okay if you don't.

Speaker 11:
[45:04] Can you tell me, are you? Yeah. Well, I have a thought, but I don't want to embarrass myself by saying no.

Speaker 5:
[45:09] Haley, what's your thought?

Speaker 11:
[45:12] Are you married to Eric Ecclestone? Eric Ecclestone.

Speaker 10:
[45:17] I am.

Speaker 11:
[45:18] I am Eric's wife. I've definitely looked you up on the Internet before.

Speaker 10:
[45:25] I'm so glad. Yeah. I've been just like Lucille Ball, like waiting behind the curtain, ready to pop on this podcast.

Speaker 11:
[45:35] Well, I'm so glad to hear it.

Speaker 10:
[45:36] Is it my turn yet? Hello?

Speaker 11:
[45:38] My question really involves grooming in some ways, so you're really the person for that.

Speaker 5:
[45:43] That's exciting. All right, Haley, where are you calling from?

Speaker 11:
[45:47] I'm calling from San Francisco.

Speaker 5:
[45:49] San Fran, cool. How old are you, Haley? You got any dogs?

Speaker 11:
[45:56] No dogs. I would say I lean a little bit more cat.

Speaker 5:
[46:02] But you don't have any pets?

Speaker 11:
[46:02] But I appreciate your work, Jess. I don't have any pets right now. That's cool.

Speaker 5:
[46:06] What are you doing in San Fran? What keeps you busy?

Speaker 11:
[46:09] I work in education, so I've had lots of different jobs from teaching, leading in schools, a whole range of jobs.

Speaker 5:
[46:16] What do you think of all the hot take stuff?

Speaker 11:
[46:19] I love the hot take stuff. I think it's great. I think that when you're getting kids excited to be sharing their opinions, they're just excited to come to class every day, that translates to so much else.

Speaker 5:
[46:30] I totally agree.

Speaker 11:
[46:31] Kudos.

Speaker 5:
[46:32] Have you seen the new website that was made?

Speaker 11:
[46:36] I have not.

Speaker 5:
[46:39] www.hottaketuesday.com. Gareth, I don't know if you know about this.

Speaker 6:
[46:45] I don't think I've seen it.

Speaker 5:
[46:46] But we've been e-mailing back and forth, and they've made an official Hot Take Tuesday curriculum, made a website to send to teachers and educators to try to spread this around schools.

Speaker 11:
[46:59] I've never heard of it. I'll send it around.

Speaker 10:
[47:01] It's fun stuff.

Speaker 11:
[47:03] Oh, it's a beautiful website. It's super cute. Okay, sorry, distracted.

Speaker 5:
[47:06] No, but it's really nice. So, Haley, take over. What do we got today?

Speaker 11:
[47:10] Okay. I am calling in because I started dating someone about a month and a half ago, and he seems like a great guy. He's really supportive and he was really great. We're obviously still getting to know each other. And our first date was on the phone, which circa 2020. And we had a great conversation, so much overlap, interesting same things. And then first date in person, we went out to dinner, instant chemistry, feeling good vibes. And he was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I was like, okay, nothing stood out about his outfit. Date number three, and he showed up wearing one of those flat caps, like a Newsy's cap from the musical. And it was, it was, it's really bad. It's so ugly.

Speaker 5:
[48:04] Jess, I think that's an Eric cap.

Speaker 10:
[48:07] Yeah, wait.

Speaker 3:
[48:08] Eric has one of those caps.

Speaker 7:
[48:09] Oh, he does. He does.

Speaker 9:
[48:10] Are those bad?

Speaker 10:
[48:12] Like a flat cap?

Speaker 7:
[48:13] I don't think it's bad, but third date is sort of like, what is this, a child?

Speaker 5:
[48:18] If you now say he was wearing a trench coat and he got it in a state sale, I'm now worried it's good. Yeah, Eric has that cap.

Speaker 11:
[48:25] I would say I pulled my ears and then we're not into it.

Speaker 7:
[48:31] Yeah, I could see both sides, but I get you.

Speaker 5:
[48:35] Jess, you like it on Eric.

Speaker 11:
[48:36] I'm not trying to yuck your yuck, you guess.

Speaker 5:
[48:38] Yuck.

Speaker 10:
[48:39] No, it's okay, I think it's fun. Sure, yeah, of course. So you're horrified by this.

Speaker 11:
[48:46] I'm not into the hat. And yeah, he wore it on the third day, he wore it again this week, and I'm gonna start introducing him to people in my life, and I'm really worried he's gonna wear this hat. So you have- It's really ugly.

Speaker 1:
[48:59] I mean, there are wider problems.

Speaker 5:
[49:02] Well, this is a perfect problem for our show.

Speaker 11:
[49:04] My hat cake is, this is really bad, but it's a bad hat cake.

Speaker 1:
[49:07] And the first time I went to his place, he has a whole wall of hats.

Speaker 11:
[49:11] Oh no.

Speaker 1:
[49:12] Of this kind of hat?

Speaker 11:
[49:14] It's really bad.

Speaker 7:
[49:15] Of this style of hat?

Speaker 11:
[49:19] There were many of this style. So I'd say five or six, which is five or six too many. He's a hat guy, you hate hat guys.

Speaker 7:
[49:28] It's this type of hat.

Speaker 11:
[49:28] Well, I just think if you're gonna wear a hat, it's especially this type of hat. Like this or a fedora, no go. But I also generally think-

Speaker 10:
[49:36] Why don't you like, Haley, why don't you like that hat?

Speaker 11:
[49:39] I think they're really unattractive.

Speaker 5:
[49:41] I gotta say, I'm kind of with Haley on this. Really?

Speaker 10:
[49:46] What about like a British guy with a scarf and he's like getting his feet?

Speaker 5:
[49:50] Maybe. Maybe, but it does look like he's really hot and 65.

Speaker 10:
[49:55] No.

Speaker 7:
[49:56] Like he's coming back from like older, a fox hunt.

Speaker 5:
[49:59] But I'm a big fedora's on men under a certain age. I'm with you, Haley. The Newsy cap on Dora, because I've seen Eric in it so much. But anybody besides Eric, I'm not a fan of.

Speaker 7:
[50:12] That's how I feel. Eric, yeah, everyone else knows.

Speaker 5:
[50:16] OK, but so Haley, he's got, what are we calling this guy?

Speaker 11:
[50:20] Eric? Let's call him. In the cave. Let's call him Ryan.

Speaker 5:
[50:30] Ryan. OK, so Ryan, do you like everything else about Ryan?

Speaker 11:
[50:36] Well, I think his wardrobe in general is not ideal. That's a larger question beyond the hats.

Speaker 9:
[50:45] Yeah, but I'm really embarrassed.

Speaker 11:
[50:48] So far so good on everything else.

Speaker 5:
[50:52] And what would you describe his wardrobe besides the hats? What is the wardrobe? What is this guy looking like?

Speaker 11:
[51:00] So the date that he wore the hat, he wore a camo polo shirt and kind of quasi dress pants. We were going swing dancing, so maybe that's why. But other people wear their normal clothes when they go out dancing. He wore a camo polo shirt?

Speaker 10:
[51:19] Yeah, it was bad.

Speaker 11:
[51:20] It was really bad. It was not good.

Speaker 10:
[51:22] I didn't even know they made polo shirts in camo.

Speaker 11:
[51:25] Yeah, he wore another polo shirt the other night, and he's not preppy. He's an artist. He's not, you know, like a clean button-up.

Speaker 10:
[51:32] Is he one of those guys that tries to dress up in a different era, you know? Like they're kind of trapped in that other era. Is he one of those guys?

Speaker 11:
[51:40] I don't know. I haven't broached the conversation about his wardrobe yet. It feels a little too soon.

Speaker 5:
[51:46] Okay.

Speaker 11:
[51:47] Okay.

Speaker 10:
[51:47] I have to tell you guys something.

Speaker 5:
[51:49] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[51:50] I don't. Okay. This is my experience. I don't love all the things that Eric wears, but and I know and it's not forever.

Speaker 8:
[52:02] I can't handle this.

Speaker 5:
[52:05] It's too real. My heart's gonna break.

Speaker 10:
[52:07] Hold on. No, no, no. I love him so much that I don't care, you know? And I see and I want him to feel good and be happy.

Speaker 5:
[52:14] Yes. But you don't like when he wears garbage from an estate sale.

Speaker 10:
[52:21] I actually love that. It's just, you know, I don't think he likes everything.

Speaker 5:
[52:26] With dirty Kleenex from another man.

Speaker 7:
[52:28] When he uses Peter Falk's handkerchief.

Speaker 5:
[52:30] That's really funny. That's not how he turns on where he goes, dude, he used this while sick.

Speaker 10:
[52:35] Could you say that every single person loves everything their partner wears? There's got to be a time when you don't like what your partner wears. When you're like, oh, I don't love that, but I'm not going to say anything.

Speaker 5:
[52:45] I agree. But here's what's different about this one. This is a new relationship. So when you're in love, I'm guessing, Haley, it's more of, do I try to fix this or do I move on? Because now we have a pretty good sense of what's going on lightly between you and Ryan. What is the specific question we could help you with?

Speaker 11:
[53:12] How do I steer him away from wearing these hats ever again?

Speaker 5:
[53:17] That's such a hard question. I was hoping it wasn't that because that is such a complicated one. He's got a wall of hats. Yeah.

Speaker 11:
[53:25] He loves his hats.

Speaker 10:
[53:26] Okay. Are there hats you do like? Let's start with that. Do you like certain types of hats? Okay.

Speaker 11:
[53:32] When we're out hiking, wearing a baseball hat, that's fine. Like a more felt hat. Specifically, the flat brimmed hat.

Speaker 5:
[53:45] Haley, I got a crazy pitch.

Speaker 11:
[53:48] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[53:49] You go, you go, you go. I want to hear what you're going to say.

Speaker 11:
[53:50] Well, I just want to acknowledge what you're saying, Jess, and I have thought about it a lot, and I don't think trying to change your partner is a great strategy and wanting them to feel comfortable and good in how they feel is very important. So I hear you, and ultimately, I aspire to be as enlightened as you.

Speaker 10:
[54:12] Oh, wow. Yeah, thanks. I feel seen. But you can also distract. You can continue buying him hats you like so that he will wear it to make you happy. What if he did that? And you're like, overly complimentary when he wears a hat that you like, and then don't say anything when he wears a shitty hat?

Speaker 5:
[54:32] Yeah.

Speaker 11:
[54:33] What about that?

Speaker 5:
[54:34] I like that. Is there an outfit that Eric wears that you hate so much that you have done a strategy to get? Because we know, and I'm a guy who's got bad style, but sometimes Eric will... Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 10:
[54:48] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[54:48] But sometimes Eric will... I'm just wearing black. I look like a stage manager at a theater these days because I've just given up. But Eric, every once in a while, will show up to a lunch, and I'll just go, wow.

Speaker 10:
[55:02] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[55:02] Wow. And then he'll go, what? As if I'm the crazy one? And I'll go, I'm not even getting into it. He'll go, you got something to say, and my real thought is just, wow.

Speaker 10:
[55:12] Sure.

Speaker 5:
[55:12] Is there anything that you're like, that's too much for me? It doesn't change my love for the man, but I have to get him away from that article of clothing.

Speaker 10:
[55:22] I don't have the bandwidth or energy to do that, and I don't care.

Speaker 5:
[55:28] Perfect match.

Speaker 10:
[55:29] And I never have. Yeah. Do you, baby, you want to wear the thing?

Speaker 5:
[55:34] Yes.

Speaker 10:
[55:34] Baby, you wear it, you love it, you do you.

Speaker 7:
[55:38] Eric's a rocking estate sale sometimes.

Speaker 10:
[55:42] I took him to that Manix estate sale, by the way. That was me taking him, and I got a pair of pumps and a purse and a cardigan.

Speaker 5:
[55:50] Where there was any garbage in any of those things and you kept it?

Speaker 10:
[55:53] Unfortunately, no.

Speaker 1:
[55:54] He didn't keep it, did he?

Speaker 5:
[55:55] He did keep it. It was the garbage. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. He was excited about it.

Speaker 7:
[56:02] From when he was sick, he absolutely sent me.

Speaker 5:
[56:04] Brother, he was sick and used this. And I'm like, Eric, stop it.

Speaker 10:
[56:08] That's not a flex.

Speaker 5:
[56:10] It's not a flex. But Haley, so I've got a crazy pitch for you.

Speaker 10:
[56:15] I got a couple too.

Speaker 5:
[56:17] And I'll tell you what I think would work. I'm putting myself in the shoes of Ryan. And he's like, you know, I got this new gal. Let's work. And I'm a cool artist. I got a cool style. The ladies seem to like it. But he's kind of the star with his clothes. What if you got matching hats and wore them too? Because there's nothing dorkier than a couple in matching Newsy caps. He thinks he looks cool in it, but he would not think both of you looked cool in it. So you become the hat person so that he doesn't wear a hat, then you lose your hat, and then you do the Jess thing, you compliment him so much without the hat.

Speaker 11:
[56:59] Okay. I like the idea of getting a hat and joining the bit. He, I think partly he wears a hat because he is not as blessed with Gareth's permable, luscious hair.

Speaker 10:
[57:15] She just said Gareth, she didn't say anyone else.

Speaker 3:
[57:17] Okay.

Speaker 10:
[57:19] Did I say Gareth?

Speaker 6:
[57:20] She wanted to point out permable.

Speaker 3:
[57:24] Well, you have permable, yeah.

Speaker 11:
[57:25] Anyway, so I think that part of it is he wears a hat to cover that up. And I think the hair could also use some assistance. Like it needs to just be, he needs to accept that he's balding and just cut it back, as opposed to kind of, you know, wafting it up in the front to cover up the situation. No.

Speaker 10:
[57:46] Does he comb it from the back to the front to create fake bangs?

Speaker 11:
[57:50] No, no, no. We're not that.

Speaker 5:
[57:51] We got a guy like that doing that in China, though. We've had that caller.

Speaker 11:
[57:54] Yeah, not that guy.

Speaker 5:
[57:55] We got an English guy in China doing that exact look.

Speaker 7:
[57:58] We like, like we're like we're an employment agency.

Speaker 5:
[58:01] We literally got a guy who does that in Little Bangs.

Speaker 7:
[58:04] And we got to lie to you. China is doing that.

Speaker 5:
[58:06] We dealt with that call.

Speaker 8:
[58:08] It's all fine in China.

Speaker 5:
[58:09] You got to share it.

Speaker 7:
[58:10] Take them out on the team. Nightmare.

Speaker 5:
[58:12] Gareth, what are some pictures here?

Speaker 7:
[58:14] I think, look, like you said, hats are not the problem. I like Jake's Attack the Hat style. I almost think, what if you just, and this requires some from you, Haley, but what if you just start dressing like a flapper's girl? You start wearing some really weird clothes, almost like you're going out to like do the Charleston or something like that. Make him feel a little uncomfortable. And then you could sort of say, do you like my outfit? Something like that. If he's not into it, you could say, I have some issues with your wardrobe. I don't love those hats. Oh, man. My other pitch is- I know hard.

Speaker 1:
[58:51] Take him off the wall.

Speaker 7:
[58:52] That's tough. Take him.

Speaker 10:
[58:53] Wait, that's what I was gonna say. I was gonna say something just like that. Yes.

Speaker 5:
[58:57] Say it. What were you gonna say, Jess?

Speaker 10:
[58:59] What if you got some cute organizers from the container store, those like little canvas boxes, and like act as though it's like a thing that you're doing to like help him organize. Take it off the wall out of view. You can't, he doesn't even know what he's got. Out of sight, out of mind. Maybe even replace with hats you like. And then anytime he goes to grab a hat when you're going out for dinner or whatever, just grab his hand and be like, let's go, you look so cute. And just like distract. It's like, you know, having a toddler. You just distract. It's like, you want the cookie, you want the cookie. Let me get, you know, like, I'm going to distract you with this toy or whatever.

Speaker 5:
[59:34] Haley, I got to get real on this one now. Okay. I don't think it's a match. I think you, I think you break up. Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[59:46] That's over the hat.

Speaker 7:
[59:48] Let me pitch a couple more before I go break up.

Speaker 10:
[59:50] It's me on the hat.

Speaker 5:
[59:51] But it's like, you don't like his hat. You don't like his style. We're talking about changing so and he's not an unhappy gentleman. He's like, I got, not only do I like hats, I got a wall of hats.

Speaker 11:
[60:04] So I was talking to a guy friend and I was saying, I don't like what he wears. That doesn't feel too materialistic to cut someone out for that reason. And my friend said, well, I would love if someone told me how to dress.

Speaker 7:
[60:16] So you just don't know.

Speaker 11:
[60:17] I don't know if he's attached. I don't know if he's attached to what he wears or if he just wears it because that's what he wears.

Speaker 7:
[60:23] He doesn't know what he's doing. None of us do. Honestly, something like you can be a force for good. This is what I would say, buy him two hats. You find two hats you like, buy him two hats. You give him two hats. You go, I know you like hats. Here's the two hats. Anytime he's wearing one of those caps, you just start to say, what about one of my hats? Do you not like my hats? Personalize it a little bit. Make it so that your emotions are a little tied to these two hats and that might eventually, as you get more comfortable, unearth this thing of like, do you not like my Newsy caps?

Speaker 10:
[60:58] Yeah, but do it cute, do it cute, do it cute. Instead of combated, just be like kissing and like, oh, you like it? Just be cute about it, you know?

Speaker 5:
[61:07] Is he like a Giants fan in San Fran? Does he like the 49ers? We could go a really easy route.

Speaker 11:
[61:14] Yeah, maybe a Giants hat. I don't know if he's a big sports person, but he just went to a game with his family.

Speaker 5:
[61:19] But if you could get him a vintage, cool Giants hat, where he's like, oh, this is cool. I'm an artist. This was from the 80s. You're like, yeah. Then he's like, that's cool, actually. And then go, oh my god, you look so hot in it. And then when he puts another hat on, go like this. Oh my god, you look so much better in a baseball hat. It's like your face fits it.

Speaker 7:
[61:39] I think that's the right kind of language.

Speaker 5:
[61:43] And then do just that for a while, then get him a shirt and go like, I got to tell you, you got a nice body. You shouldn't hide it in camo.

Speaker 10:
[61:54] Oh, this is so good.

Speaker 5:
[61:56] And then he's like, you like this?

Speaker 11:
[61:57] It's like a fresh white tee, you know?

Speaker 5:
[61:59] A fresh white tee, and you go, I got to tell you, you in a baseball hat and a white t-shirt, whoa, and then that night, do what comes natural.

Speaker 7:
[62:08] Do you know what Jake's talking about? Here's the thing, nobody wants to eat TV dit, right? He's eating like shit because he doesn't know that there's a better meal out there. If you present a better option and you say you like it, I am very confident he'll start going in that direction. And I think Jake's right, aim it like that, you're going to win with honey.

Speaker 5:
[62:26] You gave him three white t-shirts and a cool vintage hat, he'll go, I'll just put this hat on. And then he'll always, and then go ahead.

Speaker 10:
[62:37] I was just going to ask you guys, Jake and Gareth, what if Ryan confronts her and he's like, do you not like my hat? I feel like we should at least give her some tips, or you're trying to change me.

Speaker 7:
[62:52] Yeah, like if he starts something, then you might be in the Jake zone where, look, if he's like, this is honestly, my reaction would be this. I would, you know, if he says, would you not like these hats? I'd say, can I be totally honest? I just don't think they're a good look for you. I think you look better in this sort of stuff. I just think you look really cute like that. And my friends think you look cute, I think it's just a better look.

Speaker 10:
[63:16] Go to the, you look good in this versus I don't like this. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 5:
[63:21] But Gareth, you know me on this. So you know if somebody gives a compliment or a comment happens and you start changing for it, I think it's a big mistake. So I'm a believer, if I were Ryan, this would be a breakup for me. If somebody said, hey, wear this, and I went like, yeah, thank you. And they go, you look so much better, you don't look so great in the other stuff. And I go, well, 36, I've been wearing it for a while. And they go like, yeah, I know, but I like you with this. Then in my heart of hearts, I'm going to go, maybe I should find somebody who likes, I'm an Eric guy in that, then maybe I should find somebody who likes me for what I like to wear. Cause I'll tell you, Haley, I don't give a fuck what you wear, be happy. And if all of a sudden I now have to change based off your compliments, where's my center? Cause all of a sudden you might then have me wearing a fucking hula hoop on my head. And I'm going, everybody likes it. Yeah. And you want to get that. I'm chasing a compliment.

Speaker 7:
[64:16] I think you can at least motivate the conversation this way. And if he gives you that, then you can make that decision, you know? But I mean, you very easily then could just back off and just go, look, if you love it, you love it, go for it.

Speaker 5:
[64:27] I just don't want to be with you. I am not turned on by you when you're wearing polo camouflage. And he goes, get out of my bed.

Speaker 10:
[64:35] There's a line of ladies.

Speaker 7:
[64:37] Are, is there?

Speaker 5:
[64:38] No, you have to lie.

Speaker 6:
[64:39] There's a wall of hats.

Speaker 1:
[64:40] There's a wall of hats.

Speaker 10:
[64:42] There's a line of ladies. You notice when you, when you said you guys should break up, how she was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, like, I know you want to make this work. So that's really good that you want to make this work. And I know it is a little materialistic, a little bit, right?

Speaker 11:
[64:59] And that just feels I'm not that materialistic that I would end a whole relationship over what someone's wearing in the first month of getting.

Speaker 5:
[65:07] Yeah. But you're only a month in. It's like this. If you go to a restaurant and you go like really cool location, great. Oh, Vietnamese is my favorite. I like it. And then you go, menu's weird. Well, don't go, how do I change the menu?

Speaker 12:
[65:24] There's another Vietnamese place three blocks away.

Speaker 10:
[65:27] Or how do I change myself? And how do I look inward?

Speaker 5:
[65:31] And learn to like a menu that I don't like?

Speaker 3:
[65:35] Yeah, what if there's a lot of Vietnamese restaurants, Jess?

Speaker 7:
[65:39] Lunch with Eric. Or you could just rub hot sauce on the inside of these hats you don't like, and he'll develop a little bit of a rash and you say, I think it's something to do with that material, stop wearing them.

Speaker 5:
[65:50] By the way, a little bit.

Speaker 7:
[65:53] That's great.

Speaker 5:
[65:54] By the way, put a little bit in there. You know what you could do? You could say you're in education, right? So you could say there was a lice breakout, and try on all his hats one day and do a funny thing and be like, look at me in this hat, look at me in this hat, and then be like, oh my God, look at me. And then go the next day, go, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed to tell you, I have lice. You got to get rid of all those hats.

Speaker 7:
[66:20] You got to shave your head. Oh my God, you look so good like that.

Speaker 11:
[66:23] You know what's interesting is that the school I work at is doing a production of Newsies. So what I could borrow his hat for the production and then use him.

Speaker 1:
[66:34] Or they all got lice.

Speaker 5:
[66:36] They all have lice. Or the kids haven't given him back.

Speaker 7:
[66:39] Or, all pitch to all this is you've just been in Newsies world, and you can't shake the fact that he looks like a little Newsie boy.

Speaker 5:
[66:48] It's so unsexy.

Speaker 7:
[66:51] Yes. I mean, there is something to the idea. All the students are wearing Newsie hats, and now my partner's wearing a Newsie hat. It's kind of a weird.

Speaker 5:
[66:58] But Haley, I also love, can I use any of these hats for the kids? Now once I've seen little boys and girls wearing them, you're like, look, I liked it before. Because I ruined this for you, Ryan. Can I just buy you three baseball hats? Because I'm associating it with kids.

Speaker 7:
[67:15] Let me take you out for hat shopping.

Speaker 5:
[67:16] I'll pay.

Speaker 10:
[67:17] Oh, hat, yes.

Speaker 5:
[67:19] But I ruined this for you and it was my fault.

Speaker 10:
[67:22] And then you're the hero.

Speaker 5:
[67:24] But once I associate anything with kids, it is just not sexy to me. I just see you as a nine-year-old boy singing on a little box. About buy a newspaper for five cents.

Speaker 7:
[67:36] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[67:36] So can we please, I wanna take you hat shopping, can we, I wanna pay for it. But you can obviously keep the hat, but is there any way you can not wear them around me? Is that so rude? And he'll go like this, no, I don't care.

Speaker 7:
[67:51] Haley, I think that seems to have tickled all of our fancies. If you say, let me borrow the hats for the production at the school, you take them there, when you're bringing them back, you say, honestly, it's kind of the charm's been worn off. Children were wearing these. My bad, I fucked up. Let me take your hat shopping as a mea culpa. And then you're kind of the new administration without him knowing all the details.

Speaker 10:
[68:15] Or you can also just not give them back and just say, oh, I forgot, I got to go get them and just kind of act like you just forgot. Or maybe they were lost, accidentally donated something. And then you can also, like if you don't want to be so confrontational.

Speaker 11:
[68:30] Yep. Okay.

Speaker 7:
[68:32] What do you think, Kaylee?

Speaker 4:
[68:34] This is pretty good.

Speaker 11:
[68:35] I think it's great.

Speaker 7:
[68:36] Okay.

Speaker 11:
[68:36] Yeah, I think it's great.

Speaker 5:
[68:37] I think it'll work.

Speaker 7:
[68:39] Are you signing off on the last iteration of the plan? What are you going with?

Speaker 11:
[68:44] Yes. Borrowing the hats for the kids. Hopefully, he lends them. I don't know if they have sentimental value.

Speaker 5:
[68:51] But if he says no, that's okay, Kaylee, because it's still the same thing. Yep. It's still the same style.

Speaker 7:
[68:59] Still surrounded by it.

Speaker 11:
[69:01] It doesn't matter because I can then go with, oh, these hats are just a total turn off because I've been swimming in these newsy hats and 12-year-olds are wearing them.

Speaker 5:
[69:09] You look like a little boy to me. Yes. I'll tell you what he doesn't want. As a balding 36-year-old man in a cool newsy hat, you look like a little boy in a musical. That's a nightmare to hear as a man. To a woman you're trying to impress, you look like a little boy in a musical.

Speaker 10:
[69:25] In a musical. You look like a little boy in a musical.

Speaker 5:
[69:27] You look like a little boy in a musical and it's cute. And you go like this, now I'm sexy and cool. And I wear a newsy hat and you go, you literally look like a little boy named Jonas.

Speaker 7:
[69:39] Sing his little heart out.

Speaker 6:
[69:41] Lewis. About below the fold. He's below the fold.

Speaker 5:
[69:46] Humiliating. All right, keep going Hayley.

Speaker 6:
[69:50] What do you think, Hayley?

Speaker 5:
[69:50] Yeah. This is great. Can you do us a favor? Can you take a photo of the wall of hats? Um, we need to see those. And then could you take a photo or a video of the play? So we can see at least like 10 seconds of the Newsy play. We can block off the kids' faces. Maybe a photo. So we don't have to figure out how to do that with video because we will put a little black line over the kids' faces. But to see the hats of it. And then, if you can do that, is that possible or no?

Speaker 11:
[70:31] I don't know if I can take photos of the... I think I could definitely take photos of maybe their costumes. Okay, lined up and ready to go as opposed to anything involving children.

Speaker 5:
[70:42] Actually, if someone took a photo of my kids for a podcast, I would be fighting words. You're right. But the costumes, I think that's a great idea. Yep. But Haley, I think...

Speaker 10:
[70:52] For an extra... I'm just saying for an extra bonus, it would be really cool to see what a camo polo looks like. I don't know if you guys want to see that.

Speaker 5:
[71:00] I do.

Speaker 10:
[71:01] I just can't picture it.

Speaker 5:
[71:02] Eric has camo cargo shorts.

Speaker 10:
[71:06] Eric, he does?

Speaker 5:
[71:08] Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[71:08] This is how much I know about my husband's wardrobe.

Speaker 5:
[71:11] Yeah. And he wears them with tie-dye shirts a lot.

Speaker 6:
[71:13] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[71:15] And the Newsy hats.

Speaker 6:
[71:17] Yep.

Speaker 10:
[71:17] And some slides, Birkenstocks.

Speaker 5:
[71:20] Yeah, dude.

Speaker 10:
[71:21] That's my man.

Speaker 2:
[71:23] That's my guy.

Speaker 5:
[71:24] Jess, we got that in common. That's my man too. He's so tiny.

Speaker 10:
[71:27] That's my little baby.

Speaker 5:
[71:30] That's the guy right there.

Speaker 10:
[71:31] That's the guy.

Speaker 5:
[71:33] So, Haley, what do you think?

Speaker 11:
[71:36] I think this is great. And if it doesn't work, I'll just become enlightened like Jess and I'll let go of it and accept someone for who they are.

Speaker 5:
[71:44] Hot sauce. Yeah. I would say, honestly, if it doesn't work, call back. We'll help Jess back on again. Let's end at enlightened because the truth is you might all you're a month deep. You might also go like, Ryan did another thing that sucks.

Speaker 7:
[71:58] Yeah, that's probably going to happen, to be honest.

Speaker 5:
[71:59] You know, you go fishing every once in a while. You know, you pull some fish in there, get every once in a while, you got to throw them back.

Speaker 7:
[72:04] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[72:05] Not every fish belongs on the board.

Speaker 1:
[72:07] Well, yes.

Speaker 11:
[72:08] And the play is not for another two months. So it's a bit of a long game, but I can start talking about the play and talk about the costumes. Here, I'll set it up like, oh, that reminds me of the costume that the kids are wearing.

Speaker 5:
[72:24] Haley, this is it. We might not even have to use the hats. Every time he wears it, you just go, oh my God, it's so, you laugh and he goes, what's so funny? And you go like this, I'm just, we're doing newsies at the play.

Speaker 7:
[72:39] I'm dating a newsie.

Speaker 5:
[72:40] And I feel like I'm now on a date with one of the 12-year-old boys. It's the evening edition, Mrs. That alone, he'll go like, oh, this isn't a newsie hat. It's more like a cab driver from the 40s hat. And you go, yeah, I mean, it does literally where I was looking, those exact hats for costume. And if you start wearing gloves with the cutoff fingers, I got to go.

Speaker 7:
[73:00] If you sell me a paper, I'm out of here.

Speaker 5:
[73:02] Yeah. And so he just starts knowing these cool hats are associated with the newsies.

Speaker 7:
[73:10] Give him a quarter and ask him to bite it. Yeah.

Speaker 10:
[73:14] Is that a thing from the newsies?

Speaker 7:
[73:15] I think so. They're like, oh, that's real.

Speaker 5:
[73:17] To see if the silver is real.

Speaker 7:
[73:19] That's real, isn't it?

Speaker 5:
[73:20] Yeah, because cheap silver will bend.

Speaker 6:
[73:22] Yeah, that's right. Well, what does Jake know?

Speaker 10:
[73:24] You can even nickname him Newsy.

Speaker 5:
[73:25] I do it every time I get a nickel.

Speaker 6:
[73:28] No, I try.

Speaker 5:
[73:29] Every time I get changes and they go 37, I go, I got you.

Speaker 4:
[73:33] OK, we're good.

Speaker 5:
[73:35] I've tried biting an ATM card.

Speaker 7:
[73:38] Jake, that doesn't like the right side. All silver biting fillings.

Speaker 5:
[73:43] But Haley, I think this works. Are you genuinely happy with the solution or are you going to try it?

Speaker 11:
[73:50] I'm genuinely happy with the solution. I am going to try it.

Speaker 5:
[73:54] So what are you specifically, and then we're going to get out of here, but tell us what you're going to do because the plays in two months, you've only been dating for a month. You've got things coming up, art shows with friends that you are a little embarrassed about.

Speaker 11:
[74:06] Coming up this weekend.

Speaker 5:
[74:08] So how do we start this right away?

Speaker 11:
[74:12] I think we start it right away where when I'm at his place this weekend, looking at his hat wall, I pick one off the wall and I say, hey, this is so funny. We're doing this production. This reminds me of what the students are wearing. And so I just start planting the seed that this is to me, cost to me.

Speaker 5:
[74:31] And don't be afraid to laugh a little too.

Speaker 11:
[74:36] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[74:36] Like, oh my God.

Speaker 11:
[74:37] I feel bad doing that, but I'll do a judgmental.

Speaker 7:
[74:40] You find it. You find it, Hayley. But you're right. Start throwing some seeds out there. It's the right way. Long game.

Speaker 11:
[74:48] Great. Thanks so much.

Speaker 7:
[74:51] All right, Hayley. Go get them.

Speaker 5:
[74:55] Thanks, Hayley. Thank you.

Speaker 7:
[74:56] Good luck.

Speaker 5:
[75:01] We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com/here to Help Pod to see our entire catalog.

Speaker 8:
[75:20] We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler.

Speaker 7:
[75:30] Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strilecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentholds.com. Remember all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

Speaker 11:
[75:50] That was a Headgum Podcast.

Speaker 9:
[75:53] Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Speaker 12:
[75:55] Sterling K.

Speaker 7:
[75:55] Brown.

Speaker 4:
[75:56] And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast That Was Us now on Headgum.

Speaker 9:
[76:01] Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show This Is Us.

Speaker 12:
[76:05] That's right.

Speaker 9:
[76:05] We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Speaker 12:
[76:15] Yes, a little bit.

Speaker 8:
[76:16] Are we going to laugh?

Speaker 12:
[76:17] A lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.