transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:08] Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. I'm excited to welcome you if you're a first timer, even though it's part two. So you're gonna have to go back and listen to part one because we are right in the middle of a two part series that John is teaching on joy. In fact, it's about maximizing your joy. It's not just having it, it's increasing, it's cultivating, and it's making it better. And Traci, love talking about a lot of things with you, man, it has been fun. Last week is gonna be great today to talk about joy as well.

Speaker 2:
[00:41] Yes, we've had lots of things to be practicing over the last week. And so I look forward to having some new fresh ways to practice being very intentional about being joyful.

Speaker 1:
[00:53] I love this hook right here. So keep listening because John's gonna talk about cultivating joy with his first point today, embrace difficulty. So there is the teaser of the day, because that really is what John's gonna start with. But we're right in the middle of maximizing joy. Hey, if you would like to follow along with John, you can go to maxwellpodcast.com/joy. You'll find a lot of links there, a lot of resources. We're gonna talk a little bit about a high road leadership product in today's lesson, and you'll be able to get the link there. And you'll be able to get the bonus resource button. Finally, if you would like to watch us on YouTube and join us and join in and be a part of our visual community, you can find the link there as well. All right. Lean in, engage. This is part two. John's gonna be talking about maximizing your joy.

Speaker 3:
[01:54] Number nine, embrace difficulty. I've learned most of my best lessons from it. It is the number one asset of my life. The fact that I understand failure and I learn from it. It changes and just does great things for me. You gotta embrace the difficulty. You've heard some of you, if you heard me in some of my older teaching, I teach all of them, pay now, play later. And I quit, I'm pretty much not talking about pay now, play later, because I've come to the conclusion that's not the way life works. It would be nice if it worked that way, by the way. It's just not the way life works. See, I think we do hard, not so that we get through hard so we get easy. I think we do hard so we learn how to do harder. I think the greatness of leadership is that it's done difficult so it can do more difficult. So as it gets confidence with more difficult, it can handle most difficult because the great leaders, they shine the greatest during the most dark, difficult days and they don't shy from hard because they've got through hard and they don't pull back from harder because they know, I took care of hard so now I can take of harder and that is the incredible contribution the great leaders make that because they've solved some medium sized problems, they can go to a little bit larger problems and you keep increasing the, because respect is always earned on difficult ground. It isn't earned on easy ground. You don't coast your way to success. You don't coast your way to respect. Respect, you get respect because people look and say, he or she was with me in a dark hour and look what they did. So you do hard so you could do harder and you do harder so you could do hardest. And when you get in that top part of leadership and you can handle hard and harder, all of a sudden the respect and the following and the influence. And by the way, young leaders, young people that are successful, I love them. I just I have a heart I want to father and grandfather people. But when I look at young leaders are coming to me all the time and here's what I've discovered. Here's what I've discovered. Just because you're successful at a young age doesn't mean you have influence. Don't get the two confused. You have to have a lot of success before you get influence. People don't give you influence because you have one. You have ten under your belt. They give you influence because you've had win after win, year after year under your belt until one day people say, Oh my gosh, they really influenced my life. So don't confuse the two. You've got to be successful before you have influence, good influence, that's for sure. Number ten, don't keep score. Oh my, I fortunately learned that lesson at the age of 24. And I am telling you the joy of the journey has maximized because again I understand keeping score is good for gains but keeping score is not good for life. Number 11, keep moving. Oh my God, now this is what I really want to teach. I mean, I really want to teach because there's no success without action and clarity comes with movement. Your first step is your most important step. Your next step, by the way, your first step is your important step, most important step of all the steps because that's the step that got you started. If you don't get started, you can't succeed. So your first step is always your most important step. Not your last. You only think the last step is your most important step if you think that success is a destination instead of a journey. Secondly, your next step will not be obvious until you take your present step. Doing well at one step sets you up for success for the next step. Wow. And then success is a series of steps. It's not one giant leap. Each step should be your favorite step. Oh, I wish I could, I just wish I could teach this sucker to you. Because people come to me all the time and say, I'll bet you're just incredibly fulfilled and overjoyed right now in your life. And I say, well, I'm incredibly fulfilled and overjoyed. But can I tell you something? When I was in Hill Ham, Indiana with a small country church, on the first Sunday, there were only three people and two of them were Margaret and me. Look at me. I was as happy in Hill Ham with very little as I am today with a whole bunch. Listen to me. Each step should be your favorite step. You ought to enjoy the moment where you are. Quit saying, I'll get happy over here, I'll get happy over there. If you're not happy here, you're not gonna be happy there. Each step compounds the results of the previous steps. There's a compounding, and then the last point, you don't step your way to success. Each step well done is success. Number 12, be in the moment. It's the moment, it's the only thing, stay right there, maximize that moment. Number 13, be grateful. Just be grateful. Generosity is the fruit of gratitude. You show me a generous person and I'm going to show you a grateful person. You show me a person that has their fist closed and they're stingy and they're tight, and I'll show you an ungrateful person. The fruit of gratitude is generosity. Number 14, travel the high road. If you want the joy of the journey, get on the high road. By the way, there's less traffic on the high road. The low road is crowded. Do you know there's traffic jams every day on the low road? Yes. Get on the high road. Number 15, I'm just going to say it. You know I'm a person of faith, but I got to say it. My name is John, I'm your friend. Love God. I wrap up our time together by saying to you, what works for me, I just want you to know and that because it could work for you. But always know my heart. My heart is the heart of a father, and the heart of a father says, I love you regardless. That's how God loves me, and that's how I love you. I just want more for you, just more for you than from you.

Speaker 4:
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Speaker 1:
[10:11] Hey, welcome back, everybody. I told you, I warned you, that John was gonna kick it off by talking about embracing difficulty. And I love that statement. I love it. I remember the first time he made the statement. And it was, we do hard so we can do harder.

Speaker 2:
[10:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[10:31] We don't do the hard things first so that we can go to the easy. We don't pay now to play later. We pay now to pay more later. And I love this whole concept that John is challenging us to get joy in the difficulty. Get joy in the difficulty. So Traci, glad to have you back as usual. And so it's going to be fun finishing this conversation today.

Speaker 2:
[10:55] Yes. You, I'm glad that he's kind of sandwiched in this one, in this point in the middle of the lesson. However, it's unfortunate that it kicks off our second episode with difficulty. And I am struck by the fact that you said you love hearing him say that. Because I think as a young leader, and I think, you know, probably most of us are like the rest of us. So I don't think that I'm alone in this. I used to envision that leadership was really like a smooth road. And every once in a while, you hit a bump. And as a leader, you needed to navigate that bump, that difficulty. And then you're back to smooth road. And really what John is saying here, and I'm maybe, and I'm going to ask you, do you think it's more of, it's a very rocky, gravely, rough terrain road, and every once in a while you hit a smooth, happy, joyful patch? Or maybe I shouldn't say joyful because we're learning to be joyful in the journey. Do you think it's an easy patch every once in a while, but it's mostly off-roading?

Speaker 1:
[11:58] Well, so here's what I think. I've watched John, listened to John. I think in the context of joy, the way I've heard John apply it, the way I took it today, is really with an understanding of how we teach leadership. So let me help you. And if you're just a wannabe leader, you're just getting started and you're listening to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast to get you ready for your first leadership position. Let me just let the cat out of the bag and explain everything to you. There are no two good consecutive days in a leader's life. Put that notes in your first wannabe journal to a leader. Number two, here's the second one for you. Everything worthwhile is uphill all the way. And so what I believe that John has taken the premise of those two things, there's no two good consecutive days in a leader's life, everything worthwhile is uphill all the way. He's taken that and going, hey, difficulty is a part of the leadership assignment. It's not a aha, one day I woke up and it got hard. No, you woke up one day and you're finally leading because it is hard.

Speaker 2:
[13:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[13:11] And I think that the big deal right here is learn how to choose joy as a part of difficulty. John just recently, in fact, it's just now out, John recently released his 92nd book called How to Get a Return on Failure. And it's really changing the perspective that people have on failure. Well, this is the same thing. Change the perspective you have on difficulty. The fact that you have a difficult day means that you have a leadership day. Now get joy because you wanted this. You desire to be the leader. You have it. Choose joy even on the difficult days and the difficult parts of the journey.

Speaker 2:
[13:54] Yes. And I love your blatant honesty. And I think we are getting honest here. So you have had quite a few. Having known you now for many years, you have had some a lot of difficult days as a leader. You shared many of them here on the podcast. You've been very raw and authentic and vulnerable as a leader, leading the way for other leaders. And I know that many other leaders listening in on the podcast have had, if you've been a leader for more than an hour, you've had difficult days as well. And so looking back, John, I highlighted it, the Bonus Resource. He said great leaders shine the greatest during the most dark and difficult days. And so looking back, maybe to the COVID days, maybe to the days as you were navigating the last couple of years where you have talked about some of the days where you were more on the road than you were previously. And that didn't land as well as you would hope that it would in your leadership journey. So looking back, what leadership choices would you say shined the brightest in the darkness so that other leaders who may be in a dark space, not for the purpose of bragging, because you know you're not a bragger, but leaders like we're listening to John right now, leaders need to share those shining moments with other leaders so they know how to shine in dark moments as well. So can you share some of those things that you found, wow, that was really a shining moment that could benefit another leader who's in a dark time?

Speaker 1:
[15:31] You were very kind to me at the beginning of episode one. For those of you that didn't hear it, go back and listen to it, because Traci was very kind to me, and it was a moment for me.

Speaker 2:
[15:41] I thought I was being generous.

Speaker 1:
[15:44] You are, but you made a statement right before episode one, you said, Mark, you are truly a joyful person to me. You were communicating to me. I was telling you that I really get a lot of energy and appreciation for you, whether we're on stage together, whether I'm watching you lead. I get great energy because you're a joyful person. You have an infectious laugh, you have an infectious personality, you have an infectious joy. You demonstrate the fruit of joy. You then came back and said the same thing about me, and I appreciate that. I want that to be true for me.

Speaker 2:
[16:20] Yes, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[16:22] So you said that. Now, I want to come back, and I want to talk about that right here, because I think the greatest times I show a beacon of leadership is when people know I'm going through a difficult time and I still choose to show joy.

Speaker 2:
[16:41] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[16:42] When they don't know, this morning I woke up at 1.15, don't feel sorry for me. It's just kind of a standard thing sometimes in my life. And I woke up and I was really, I had two very particularly difficult things that I was trying to solve. It's one of those real lonely moments that we have every once in a while. That was the morning that I had this morning from 1.15 till 4.30 when I had to get up and get ready to the office to get some things done, or get going, I was already up. People don't know the battle that I had from 1.15 till 4.30 today, until I just shared with it now, I guess, because I want sympathy. Will somebody feel sorry for me? Grab a Kleenex. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2:
[17:22] Virtual hug. Thank you.

Speaker 1:
[17:25] I don't get a lot of accolades publicly about the joy that I use to fight my mental, emotional, and problem-solving issues today. I get a lot of credit for that. But let me tell you something. When I get a week like I had last week, and I got a challenge that came in through our customer service team, I had a challenge that came through our finance team all on the same day. And then we got a little fun letter that you never want to get from a lawyer. All on the same day. All three. Bang, bang, bang. A customer service finance team and the lawyer team. I've watched a lot of leaders lose it in that moment. They lose the chance to show the power of joy. By the way, I've lost it more times than I want to talk. But this particular day, on the third time, there was two teammates, one vocal, but two teammates that was in every one of those meetings when I got that news from customer service, from finance and from legal. And on the third one, I went, wow, guys, here's another opportunity to show that we're bigger than all of this. And I'll never forget, for a long time, I hope, the leader that got vocal said, I just saw a master class in joy. I didn't even know we were going to do a podcast. I didn't even know that illustration was going to come to my mind until you asked that question. It says, how can you demonstrate leadership in the darkest of times? Show joy. Show there's still a reason to be happy and a reason to be appreciative of the opportunity to lead. Leaders, you count it challenging and frustrating when adversity or obstacles come your way. Here's an idea, count it all joy. Count it all joy when big challenges come your way, because you can show your team that joy is a choice, that joy can be embraced even in the difficult.

Speaker 2:
[19:39] Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that. I'm sorry that you got no sleep last night. I hope you get better sleep tonight. But I think it's important for you to share that with our listeners, because we'll all have a moment, we'll remember, certainly the person who sat in on all three meetings with you, will remember it the next time something hits them. Because I'm reminded of a podcast we did, I don't know, months, years ago, when you talked about John getting terrible news about something right before he was about to step on stage and he said, and he went out and he had this really beautiful moment with the people on stage, and you came back and you thought the whole time, he just got terrible news, and he just went out and had this really powerful, positive, beautiful moment on stage, and you came back and you said, how did you do that? And he said, those people don't need to know what is going on with me, and how that impacted you, and now you shared it on the podcast, and now you shared how that seed went deep inside of you, and bore fruit in your life, and now that seed of what you just shared with us is going to bear fruit in our life. So I think it's important to share those moments at the risk of people to listen in and go, well, that's bragging. No, it's important that we share not just the bad things that happen in our life, but how we handle them with grace, and with kindness, and a great attitude, because then we go, you know what, if Mark Cole can do that when he had those terrible three things, I can do this, too, and rather than say, nobody understands me, you know, so thank you for sharing that. I think that's a great way to handle embracing difficulty, because we're all going to have it. So, okay, going to number ten, don't keep score. I love his comment, keeping score is good for games, but keeping score is not good for life. But gosh, if I'm really honest, it's hard to not keep score. It's hard to not keep score when I've done something good for somebody to keep the score of what I've done. Thinking, oh, I've kept score of what I've done, or the flip side of it is that I'm keeping score of what you've done to me. And so, obviously, we're all trying to take the high road in that. That's definitely a high road leadership lesson. But how do you, Mark Cole, from the time that you've had and the proximity that you've had to John, just a man of faith, a lifetime of not keeping score and working to not keep score, nobody's perfect, but how do you not keep score?

Speaker 1:
[22:30] You know, I always try to remember that I started in deficit. I started in deficit when I started Maxwell Leadership. I started in deficit when I first started leading. I didn't have anything to bring to the table, and somebody gave me a chance to sit at the table before I ever did. So I constantly believe and see. It's not just a mindset. I really do believe that the person who's given much, much is required. And if you've been given an opportunity, you're already in deficit. So step up and bring something to the table, because the table's already given you more than you deserve. This is no better illustrated than John when he was arguing with his dad as a little kid. And he looked at his dad and he said, Dad, I need to get paid for chores. And his dad, who did not want to pay him for chores, he wanted to pay him to read the books, he said, I'm not paying you to take out the trash. I don't want to, I put my money where I value and I value books. I'm not paying you to take out the trash. By the way, son, you take out the trash because you're a part of the family. And then he underscores this statement, which is a statement I try to live every area of my life with. He says, in fact, John, when you were born, you already owed your mom nine months of room and board. I think that's just such a beautiful illustration.

Speaker 2:
[23:56] I do, too.

Speaker 1:
[23:57] That we came into life already needing to give back for what we've been given.

Speaker 2:
[24:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[24:04] And I've been given an incredible platform. I've been given an incredible opportunity to lead at a high level at one of the most respected leadership brands in the world. How can I get frustrated when something doesn't go my way, when someone wants to take a little bit of advantage of my role and my position, as if I haven't gotten more from this leadership position and this role of leading than I could ever give back to society?

Speaker 2:
[24:36] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] You know, let's take this for a moment away from me, and let's talk about movie stars. You have the movie stars that acts like that your fanhood, your being a fan of them is the worst curse they've ever had. And then you have the movie stars that you, that I've had the privilege of being backstage with them. I've had the privilege of seeing them. And you have these movie stars that you go, hey, I don't mean to be obnoxious, but I am such a fan. And they just stop everything and say, thank you very much.

Speaker 2:
[25:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:12] It's the people that realize everything they've been given is because of the hard work of somebody else that doesn't keep score.

Speaker 2:
[25:21] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:22] And that person that could feel frustrated because you're wanting something from them. John models this incredible, Traci, I got on the sofa, Terri, I didn't anticipate it. John models this so much. We'll be running out. We got a plane to catch. We got a thing to go. And somebody said, Mr. Maxwell, can you please sign my book? And he stops and says, Roy, my mom didn't call me Mr. Maxwell. My mom called me John. Call me John. I'm your friend and I sign your book. And I just have this moment every time that happens and just goes, well, that's what it's about by not keeping score.

Speaker 2:
[26:01] That's a beautiful example. And I love that about John. He's so approachable. It's so wonderful. So number 11 is keep moving. So we will keep moving. He says, there's no success without action and clarity comes with movement. And then he says, your first step is your most important step. And so I'd love to land here a little bit because I love how he talks about, I think this is just such a message. If you don't get started, you can't succeed. And your next step becomes obvious. You have to take that first step. And I, he talks a little bit. I love how he talks a little bit about his paths with Hill Hems steps, his how he and Margaret were just two of the two of what is it, four or six people who who attended the church service. And I love how he keeps that very close to him and how he talks about the excitement and joy that he has in his life today is very connected to the same kind of joy that he had even in those early days. And it makes me think of your story that you have shared with me a little bit about your early days in and how you have connected that to in the Maxwell Leadership world and you've connected it to your joy today. So I would love for you to share what I am blessed to know as your friend, knowing the story of you back as leading the softball team, leading the team of interns. Would you share a little bit about how your joy in those early days in Maxwell Leadership and how that's very connected to the same feeling of joy now that you run the whole shebang?

Speaker 1:
[27:41] Well, it's so fun because it goes a little bit back to what we were just talking about about gratitude, Traci. I am overwhelmed with humility and gratitude at what I get to do today. I go back to, man, I joined this team. When I got on this team at Maxwell Leadership 26 years ago, I made a commitment I would never lead again. I would never accept a leadership role. I would never take a leadership responsibility. I didn't want it. I didn't think I deserved it. I felt like I had squandered my one chance to lead in life. I just was out. I just wanted to be a part of something with significance, and this organization gave me that. And it's given me so much more. And so I kind of get a lot of humility in recognizing all the opportunities that this organization has given me, when really all I gave this organization in the early years was one commitment. I won't lead in this company. I'll work hard. I'll give you some stuff, but I'm not going to lead. And then it's given me a chance to lead at ten different phases or facets of this organization, including the last one of ownership. But I get really humbled with that. There's a great sense of humility that I feel, humbleness that I feel because of that. But I also get really humored. I get really just, I'm very humored that I get to speak about the vision of this company, of this movement, of 61,000 coaches, of 190,000 facilitators facilitating our non-profit material. And I get to be the spokesman because I go back, Traci, this is a story I don't know if you'll know, but it will not surprise you because you laugh at my Southern all the time. I go back to my first assignment as a tele-sales representative in this company. It was my first assignment, it was a stock room, they didn't even have an office to get me a cubicle. I was not even cubicle worthy. I mean, I couldn't find a place but a little folding table with a phone to make phone calls. And they gave me my first assignment, which was to sell a leadership event where John was doing a leadership event, I think in eight weeks, 12 weeks, and I was out there just a little bit. And I was given this assignment to call people to get them to come to a leadership event. Now, for those of you that are international that don't understand geography in America, this is going to be a story that really won't matter a lot to you or really won't make sense. But for those, my US comrades, you're going to get this right here because my first city to where I was calling to fill a leadership event was Des Moines, Iowa, up in the Midwest. Man, I had not traveled that much now. I've been to 100 and something countries. I've been to every state in the United States. But when I joined 26 years ago, I was from Atlanta, Georgia, and Atlanta was a stretch because really it was Forest Park, Georgia. I'd never been to Iowa. I'd never been to Des Moines. So they give me this paper. They don't train me. They give me this paper that says you're calling on this leadership event here. And so I would call these people and I would say, hey, this is Mark Cole from John Maxwell's organization. And I want to invite you to an upcoming event that we're having in Des Moines, Iowa. Des Moines, Iowa. That's exactly how I said it. I didn't know it was Iowa. I was not cultured enough to know it was Iowa. And I didn't know the S was silent in Des Moines. And I was giving it my best. Filled the event, by the way. Ran out of space. But I did it. But let me tell you, I did it by saying I was calling the people of Des Moines, Iowa to come to this event. I'm really humored with that.

Speaker 2:
[31:49] Look at how far you've come. But I think back like there is that. I mean, you just hit on almost every one of the next points that he had of being grateful, point number 13, and being generous. The fruit that comes from that, traveling the high road and just loving God. You just showed up and you were grateful for the position that you were in, and you just showed up to give it your all. To know you all these years later, that that's still that place that you are in, and that you've come so far and plucked out of that. But it wasn't really plucked, like you just said, it's not this huge giant step. It's 10, what did you say, 10 different places that you stepped up. I think for leaders who are in that place right now, who have a big goal or a big dream in their heart to be somewhere way farther than they are today, I think it's important for them to hear that it started with a little baby step from saying Des Moines, Iowa to where you are today, traveling the world, not even heading out of your state. So success is a series of steps, as John says, and each step, making it your favorite step and just blooming where you're planted. So the last thing I would love to close on is I think tying 11 and 12 together because you really scooped up those last ones. Keep moving and be in the moment. Those almost seem to be in opposition of one another. But I think that you're good at both of these, and John is certainly good at both of these where you keep moving, but not so much that you don't stay in the moment or that you don't appreciate the moment that you are in to seize the moment, to squeeze the most out of the moment, to see the people who are with you in the moment. So how do you keep moving with your eye on the prize, the eye on the big goal that has been tucked in your heart, while at the same time seeing the people and cherishing the moment of each moment that you're in?

Speaker 1:
[34:04] You know, I believe this statement, as much as I believe everything rises and falls on leadership, which is a tagline that John has became known for, and that is, leadership has a bias for action. Leadership has a bias for action. And so this point number 11 that John talked about, keep moving, I absolutely believe that there should be a bias in every leader's portfolio of disciplines that I gotta move, I gotta make something happen. I gotta be a make it happen. Moving is the deal. So therefore, be in the moment is all about timing. It's all about discernment. It's all about awareness. Because being in the moment means you understand the power of the pause and the importance of presence. You cannot seize the moment if you don't intuitively know when the moment presents itself. Because you have a bias for action, you should be moving. You should wake up every day and be doing something. And you can't be in the moment if you're not present in the moment, but you're thinking about the next thing. One of the hardest things I've had to learn in the last year, Traci, is how to be present in the moment. Because for years chasing John, I was always anticipating the next moment. Very aloof. My job was not to smile and shake hands. My job was to have the next moment ready for the busyness of John. That way he could be in the moment. Right. And just in the last year, I've had to figure out how to discern the moments and not miss them. How to understand the power of the pause and not let movement cause me to miss the power of the pause. And so I like that you coupled them together. I'm just looking at the time. We're going way late on this one. But I love that you dug in and brought those two together. There's one other thing that I want to say. We talked about don't keep score. We talked about travel the high road. And I saw those in the lesson as I was preparing today. And I went, guys, we've got to have something that helps people have a moment in this lesson, to pause and really develop themselves. And I really want to key on those two things, don't keep score and travel the high road. Because both of those come from the book, High Road Leadership. And that book has just really been for such a time as this kind of a book. How do you lead in a world that divides? How do you unify and get High Road Leadership? We created a digital product out of that content. And it's called High Road Leadership. We'll put it in the show notes. I want to make that available to you. We'll give you half off of that and really make sure that you're able to get a good discount there on that product. Hey, Henry, thank you for being a podcast listener. You were listening to the podcast, Acknowledge Your Humanness. We'll actually put that in the show notes as well. It was a great, great episode. And Henry made a great statement. He said, I love this statement. He said, my favorite statement was when John said, be your own best friend. Thank you, Henry. Thanks for being a part of the podcast. Thanks to all of you for being a part of the podcast because we believe this. Every single episode is designed to make you a better leader because everyone deserves to be led well.

Speaker 4:
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