transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:21] Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed, it's right there, and without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. Daisy winds up talking to Jason. He's like, yeah, have a good night. She's like, well, today's gonna be the day. I fucking lost my shit a few times. Mike and Alicia both came up to me, and they were like, what you gonna do about this? And I fucking went off. I was like, do not come to me and make this my problem. I was really upset about it. Okay, well, you know my policy, don't engage in it. We're here to work, crash yachts into docks, and if you can't do that, then find another job.

Speaker 2:
[01:03] Have you called one of them a thundercut fitness yet? Sometimes that works. Get out of here, Joao. Well, Alicia and Mike are adults, they need to learn to work in these environments, and here's what I do. I stand at a doorway, and I slowly back away into the doorway and pretend nothing's happening until the boat starts sinking or crashes into a chili's on deck, on dock, rather. Sorry.

Speaker 3:
[01:29] Are you gonna come on the catamaran with us?

Speaker 2:
[01:30] He's like, I don't think so. I've got a pair of boobs I'd like to play with. Don't tell me what I'm to say. I've got a nice pair of bazoombas I can't wait to put on. You guys are on. Can't wait to see what they look like in a captain's lounge kimono.

Speaker 1:
[01:46] Think I'm gonna get on to an efoil and cruise around the island. That'll be fun. I don't understand anything you just said. So now they're gonna go on. Now it's time for the catamaran. So now they're hopping on. It's the next day, by the way, didn't mention. Maybe we did. Maybe you mentioned it and I zoned out. Who knows? But we are on a new day and Jason is, he gets on that efoil and he's like sort of zips by them. And they're like, look at Captain Jason. They're like waving at him. It's the last they ever saw of him. No one ever saw Captain Jason again after that day. He got efoiled.

Speaker 2:
[02:19] And now they are, it's not this about having fun and stuff. And it's Joao's birthday. Wowee. So Mike comes up to Ellie, who's still kind of bummed. And he's like, hey there, how you feeling after yesterday?

Speaker 3:
[02:32] She's like, I feel okay. He hasn't spoken to me. Well, I'm a little curious about one thing though. Do you mind me flirting?

Speaker 2:
[02:37] Do you like having a little, oh my God. It's like going up to a woman at a funeral and being like, God, you look great with a veil over your head. Do you mind lifting that up for a little blowy? Like she's in mourning.

Speaker 1:
[02:49] Yeah, she really is. So the producer is like, why do you want to stir the pot with your boss? Do you see you and Ellie having a little bit of a boatman's together?

Speaker 4:
[02:58] It's like, look, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing and we get on well. Energies match.

Speaker 1:
[03:03] We've got similar interests.

Speaker 4:
[03:04] We both have a lot of hair.

Speaker 1:
[03:06] Whose goes down, mine goes up and around.

Speaker 4:
[03:08] And me and Ellie, we could get up to a little bit of mischief.

Speaker 3:
[03:10] Who knows?

Speaker 2:
[03:11] Oh, he's so gross. And I film Ellie as he goes, so do you mind a little bit of a flirt?

Speaker 3:
[03:17] And she goes, it's not an issue. It's not something that bothers me.

Speaker 2:
[03:21] Like so bored. And he's like, so you're giving me permission to flirt with you? She's like, knock yourself out.

Speaker 1:
[03:29] Wow, Sparks. That's what you call chemistry.

Speaker 2:
[03:33] This is why her OnlyFans is booming.

Speaker 3:
[03:36] Come to my OnlyFans. I take a nap while you jerk off.

Speaker 1:
[03:42] So Joao and Daisy are talking and Joao's like, I literally don't even know what Mike is saying. Well, you need to stop about the mic thing, okay? Concentrate on you and Ellie. You need to go and you need to speak to her. You are right. I will speak to Mike. No, to Ellie. Absolutely. And tell her how you feel. Okay. Let me try this one out. Some days when you bite into a cupcake, you think they could use a little bit more frosting. So then you go to the bank and you take out some money, you think whatever happened to cash? We're in a cashless society. So anyway, I'm glad you understand where I stand on all this.

Speaker 4:
[04:14] Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[04:15] You know when cats eat something and it looks delicious and they say zim, zim, purr, zim, and then they throw it up and you think, man, maybe they didn't like that. You're like that food, but then the cat eats it again. Do you know what I'm saying? Not really.

Speaker 4:
[04:33] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[04:34] Everyone knows about Garfield, the cat, but did you know about Heathcliff? So not to be confused with Heath Bar, because Heath Bar has actually a crunch. Heath Bar crunches and ice cream, ice cream that is sold by Ben and Jerry. I never met Ben nor did I meet Jerry, but if you put them together, they become Barry. So here's the thing about Barry is they are only available in certain seasons and my favorite Barry is the blackberry, but I also like a blueberry. So I think we can understand where I'm coming from.

Speaker 3:
[04:57] I want abs and you will marry me if I keep my abs, is what you're saying.

Speaker 1:
[05:01] Absolutely no and yes.

Speaker 2:
[05:06] So now we go to Ben and Jenna and Ben's like, good to see you.

Speaker 3:
[05:10] What are you up to?

Speaker 5:
[05:11] You're having a good day.

Speaker 3:
[05:12] It's like, yeah, I'm having a good day. I'm taking a bath. I love the sun, love the bat. What?

Speaker 5:
[05:18] I don't know what you're saying, but I'm going to assume it's something that I'm handsome and relatable.

Speaker 2:
[05:25] And so he's.

Speaker 1:
[05:27] Darling, I'm not exactly sure what you were saying. Was it a commentary about Vivica A. Fox? So I'm joking, taking a stab in the dark there.

Speaker 5:
[05:38] You can never fail with Vivica Fox saying that right now.

Speaker 2:
[05:43] So he's taking her picture. And, you know, that's what, listen, every influencer girl or influencer wannabe wants as a man to take their pictures. And we see it all the time when we meet these people. The best relationships in a reality show environment is a man who is taking good pictures of you. We've seen it multiple times. Katie Tonella will never divorce her husband. That man follows her around with cameras and a ring light.

Speaker 1:
[06:10] That's right. Adorably so. If you could have seen him at the Crappies, just there on the side, like a adorable little, little influencer love right there.

Speaker 2:
[06:20] That is real love. And so what I'm saying is he's playing with her heart because he has no intention to be with this girl. Do you think?

Speaker 1:
[06:26] I don't think so. But, you know, I think he likes these sort of like diminutive smaller girls. Remember Bunny? And he was like, hello, Bunny, whatever her name was. And he just likes a mumbly British girl. Bugsy? No, well, no, no. Her name, it wasn't Bugsy.

Speaker 2:
[06:42] I wouldn't call her diminutive. I mean, she was. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[06:46] It was the girl that he called Rabbit. Hello, Rabbit. I don't remember her. Emily, I think her name was maybe if her name is Emily. I'm like, wow. I apologize to my parents for pushing out a really hard-fought education to remember the girl's name from Below Deck from nine years ago.

Speaker 2:
[07:04] You're really good at this, actually. You've solved a lot of trivia in this episode alone. You're naming people all over the place. Yeah. Every time I bring up some random person, you're like, oh, his name was Dominic and he was the angry French person in season 4.2, episode four, episode 10.

Speaker 1:
[07:21] Please don't mention Dominic. We cannot be bragging about how I have great recall these people's names, but I couldn't remember Dominic's name at the time.

Speaker 2:
[07:28] You remembered it, just not his last name. Poor Dominic. Okay. So now we get to see a moment of Eddie flirting with Jenna. And so is that, wow, nice bikini. I want to see you in your home, comfy clothes, what you'd wear at home. You know, a couple of our kids suckling on your breasts. Me coming back from not working all day, you working at home on the computer while you're supporting our children. God, I can't wait for that. She's like, I look hideous, but I want to see that, to see it.

Speaker 1:
[07:58] Someone gets Seymour Crelborne out of there. This is, stop it. You're not, this is not attractive.

Speaker 2:
[08:07] I can't wait. You've got baby spew coming down the funny nightgown. You say, please honey, I'm too tired. I say, come on, I've earned it. You say, doing what? You don't even have a job. And I say, I love you and you give it to me anyway and you like it. I mean, it's just so gross, this guy. So he's like, you can just sit there with a little smile on my head and say, that'll change.

Speaker 3:
[08:29] And she's like, I don't think it will change though, cause I like to dress up where I'm going.

Speaker 2:
[08:33] He's like, no, no, but you know, you think that, but then years go by, you know? And then you start realizing that there's not really much to do. You're just at home with me, sitting at me staring. I've stopped shaving my nuts. You don't really ask why, because it's too awkward. I smell like somebody else. You don't really ask why, because I'm paying the bills all the time. It's like, you're disgusted. I mean, this guy, like, this guy's dreams are so gross. He's like immediately wants to meet somebody and just put them in Eddie jail, you know? Just like live in my beige little studio apartment and fucking watch me play PlayStation all night.

Speaker 1:
[09:09] I know. I mean, he's not lying about anything. Yes, you will be wearing dumpy clothes and you both won't be as hot as you are now. And like, that's the trajectory. And that is actually, by the way, a really lovely thing. But when you're flirt, you've just met somebody, you don't want to sell them on that dream. You sell them on the dream of come to 20 years from now, we're still sailing the seas, going to ports of Genoa, off to the Taj Mahal or maybe to Sydney to see the opera house. And you'll be looking hot because you'll always look hot and you'll always be fashionable and I'll be hot. Don't be sitting there saying like, I can't wait for the two of us to be eating lean cuisines every night on our TV trays watching Wheel of Fortune.

Speaker 2:
[09:51] Exactly. It's like your third, it's like three days you've been into each other. Please stop it. Yeah, don't just be like, wow, I could be your feeder. And then you could just sit there in a t-shirt and gain hundreds of pounds as I shovel food down your throat. What do you, he just, his dreams sound horrible.

Speaker 1:
[10:10] It also shows that he's not even really talking to her or hearing about what she wants out of life. Even we know that she wants to live the high life. I mean, that's why she came on this yacht. She thought she was going to be able to attach herself onto some billionaire. And if he just talked to her for like three seconds, he would know that that's the life that she wants because what he's saying would be very appealing to some people. If someone says, oh my God, that sounds great. I just want to be like in my sweatpants and we're watching TV on the sofa. That's what I'm looking for. But that's not who she is. And if he just talked to her, he would actually know that very quickly.

Speaker 2:
[10:43] Yeah. Well, he's talking to her all right. He's talking at her and he's talking at her noggin. That's her cute, sexy little noggin. So people go eat and Jenna ditches him and goes to sit by Ben.

Speaker 5:
[10:55] And he's like, oh, how are you and Eddie?

Speaker 6:
[10:58] He's like, whatever, I'm trying.

Speaker 2:
[11:00] He goes, what do you mean?

Speaker 3:
[11:01] Well, he's definitely not the person I'd normally be with, is he? I mean, look at him. Look at his hair.

Speaker 2:
[11:06] Think you're not going to grow a mustache, are you? Are you mustache contagious? Cause he's got one. Stupid douchebag mustaches contagious, thirsty little mustaches. Watch out.

Speaker 1:
[11:20] Now there will be some people who will say, this is a double standard because Eddie did the same thing to Jenna a few weeks ago where he was flirting with Jenna, but then he went to Alicia and then everyone got mad at him for that. But now Jenna is like basically hopping over to Ben. And that's a double standard to which I say it is. And that's okay because things are not perfectly balanced in life sometimes.

Speaker 2:
[11:42] But also, he ruined it first.

Speaker 1:
[11:46] He ruined it. You know, like one thing one thing that I learned in my dating days is like the moment you treat something as as like casual like a flirtation is casual, you almost can never get it back like you, you, if you, you, you sully the importance of it, right? So like, if you bail on someone and want in like the first or second date or you're late or you're just like not really present, you can still have, you can still reschedule those dates. You can have a nice time, but you've poisoned it. You really have and you have to work so hard to get it back on track. And usually you can't. And that's exactly what he did.

Speaker 2:
[12:25] Yeah, he did it first. I mean, you cheat first and then we're in a relationship. But like, if you're in a relationship and you cheat and it takes a while for the other person to forgive you, no matter they forgive you, you go to therapy, you go through all of that, then they cheat one day and you're heartbroken. And they're always going to say, you did it fucking first every single time. And this isn't as bad as cheating, but he did it first and I don't blame her. Just like this guy, this guy not only is now suddenly in love with me, he just told me I'm going to spend the rest of my life like getting fed, you know, tubs of ice cream while I watch him play PlayStation and raise babies I don't want. So, I'll cam.

Speaker 3:
[13:03] It's time for a commercial.

Speaker 2:
[13:05] It's time for a Crappens commercial. So yeah, this is kind of mean though what she does to Eddy, but I loved it because Eddy is an idiot. So Ben also is doing it to Eddy because he sees the Eddys like head over heels and he tells her, you know, I just prefer being in my cabin, stuff like that. I'd expect nothing in return. So just, you know, maybe a few cheeky laughs. If you want to come to my master cabin, I'll be there. I'm usually busy masturbating or thinking about masturbating. Generally very tired, but come take a ride on the Ben Express if you'd like to, any day, ticket punched.

Speaker 1:
[13:47] So I guess at this point it's just, it's now just a given that Ben gets to sleep in a nice cabin between charters. It's not even like, we don't even see him asking anymore. He just goes up there.

Speaker 2:
[13:59] Yep, it is. He takes the guest cabin now. That's just how it rolls. And look how it spreads because we were asking Hannah, would you go back on the show? And she said, well, you know, if I could do it like Ben does it, like you go, you swim in the morning, you get a nice guest cabin, you don't have to go out with everybody. Fuck yeah, I'd do it. It's going to spread. You watch.

Speaker 1:
[14:19] Yeah, yeah, it will. So now Daisy and Joao are looking at Ellie and Daisy's like, just go over there, Joao. It's like, well, you're making it so difficult to speak to her. I don't know what to do. I'm just, I'm just poor defenses, Joao. I don't know how to even speak to women unless they are just outrageous cut fetishes. Daisy's like, well, I think you should go over and I think now is the time. Do you want your cheesecake or not? It's like, I just don't know if Joao has feelings for me or not, but it does suck. Rejection does suck and she's embarrassed and she's hurt, so I do feel sorry for Ellie. So Joao goes over.

Speaker 2:
[14:55] Can we chat?

Speaker 3:
[14:56] She's like, oh God.

Speaker 2:
[14:57] Are you okay?

Speaker 3:
[14:59] I want you to enjoy your Zim Day. Go ahead.

Speaker 2:
[15:01] Oh wow, that was actually very sweet that you called it a Zim Day. Okay, but I want us all to enjoy my Zim Day, so please, can we talk, please?

Speaker 3:
[15:09] Okay, the reason I thought I felt stupid is because I was planning a birthday surprise for you. I baked you a cake. I woke up two hours before work. I got that two hours early in my own time to make you birthday cake, a favorite cake that you mentioned when you are naked and my finger is in your bunghole. Like make your special day, make you feel incredible. And what I get is he doesn't want anything to do with you, and he cut things off with you, and that's what hurt me Joao, that is what hurt me.

Speaker 1:
[15:36] That is absolutely not what I said. And you know, I'm really sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I really want some cake. So let's proceed on that basis and-

Speaker 2:
[15:45] Cake, you say? Cake.

Speaker 3:
[15:48] Cake.

Speaker 1:
[15:52] I will absolutely take the cake.

Speaker 2:
[15:54] I would love it. I hope you made us a wedding cake. Wow. This is very romantic.

Speaker 3:
[15:59] I never made you promise me anything. I never asked you for anything, Joao. I didn't want to, I didn't do anything, okay?

Speaker 2:
[16:06] And he's like, I know. That's why I spoke to you and told you I couldn't wait to have your children. Bear them, actually bear them myself. I was willing to implant them in my stomach and actually give birth to them. And he's like, I'm upset about what Mike said. And he used those words against me. And I've not said anything that I've never said. I don't want anything to do with you. I promise that.

Speaker 3:
[16:25] She's like, oh, thank you for saying that. So how do we proceed?

Speaker 2:
[16:29] Well, we have fun. We enjoy. We, you just be you with me, me and you walking on the beach.

Speaker 1:
[16:36] I look down walking on the beach and I see two zim steps beside me and I, and I get sad because I can't help but wonder, wouldn't it be nice if I saw a cake footstep there to when is this cake going to happen? Are we going to really drag this out all day? I mean, I really want that cake. I really want to clarify. I never said I want nothing to do with you. I only said I want very little to do with you. But the little that I do want to do with you does pertain to that cake.

Speaker 2:
[17:05] So you know the Beatles, right?

Speaker 3:
[17:07] The car?

Speaker 2:
[17:08] No, the band.

Speaker 3:
[17:09] There are cars that sing?

Speaker 2:
[17:11] Okay, well, they said, I want to hold your hand, and I do.

Speaker 3:
[17:15] Cars don't have hands.

Speaker 2:
[17:17] Just hold my hand. We're getting married. Let's walk down the beach together.

Speaker 1:
[17:21] Have you ever heard of the song All You Need Is Love? Well, in Zimbabwe, we sing it All You Need Is Cake. So give daddy the cake.

Speaker 2:
[17:32] So he walks on the beach hand in hand, and she's like, Oh my God, we made up. This guy is such an idiot. So he goes, I will have to break it off with Ellie, but oh gosh, it's the only day we get off. So I want everyone to have fun today. So for the time being, so it's not inconveniencing me, I'm going to pretend to like her and tell her whatever she wants to hear, and I'll just have to figure it out later.

Speaker 3:
[17:53] She's like, Let us take selfie. The day mommy and daddy met. Smile.

Speaker 1:
[18:00] After this, I'd like to invite you to my home, which as you know, is a yellow submarine. We all live there. So Mike's like, I'm watching from a distance.

Speaker 4:
[18:08] How does Joao stand up right with Eddie Spain? I don't understand.

Speaker 1:
[18:10] How do you stand up right with all that hair on your head? Stop it. Don't make me defend Joao.

Speaker 2:
[18:17] Jenna and Eddie are going on a date, which is hilarious because Jenna has already totally dumped this guy in her mind, and she's just waiting to see if Ben's fucking with her or if he's really going to hook up with her. And you just see it all over. And so everyone's like, Oh my God, they're going on a date, these cute kids.

Speaker 4:
[18:34] And she's like, Oh God.

Speaker 2:
[18:36] So you're right, they walked 10 feet from the boat to this little restaurant where nobody's at. It's ghost town. And Daisy and Jason are like, Let's watch on binoculars. God, could you get your knockers out of the way? They're in the view finders, like, sorry about that. God, I can't stop playing with these things.

Speaker 1:
[18:59] They really, really must have bad Wi-Fi, because if you're resorting to watching these two on a date, then you really have nothing to do on that boat. And why is it always-

Speaker 2:
[19:08] Did Captain Sam stop paying the Netflix?

Speaker 1:
[19:10] I think so. We've always lamented the below deck dates. Like, they're just the worst thing to watch on this show. And it occurred to me that Bravo really only sends them on dates if someone is not into it. Like, have we ever seen a date that's just like bubbling with chemistry? It's usually like a douche bag and then the girl is disinterested or a girl who's super interested like an Ellie and the guy who's not interested. I mean, which is, I guess, the exact definition of there's someone who's usually not interested. I mean, no one could be as disinterested as the audience, but Bravo always does this. They create these awkward, fake dates that we have to sit through. And I guess it's supposed to be funny because we see how awkward these dates are, but don't do this to us, please. That's all.

Speaker 2:
[19:57] This was a bad one. So they go on the state and Eddy is like, so, you know, if someone could say, what do you dislike about Jenna? What would it be? What is she interviewing for a job? What the fuck kind of question is that? What's wrong with him?

Speaker 1:
[20:14] Is he trying to nag her? Is he like trying to do that thing? Is he trying to make her feel insecure? It's not working.

Speaker 6:
[20:19] And she's like, you know, if that's what I can't be doing, what's wrong with this result?

Speaker 4:
[20:26] What? I don't even know who Vivica A Fox is. Either way.

Speaker 2:
[20:30] I do. So excited.

Speaker 1:
[20:33] You said that. You said that.

Speaker 2:
[20:39] So he's like, yeah, is that true? Because there is a fun side to you, you know, the Jenna laugh. That's what I call it. Just me. So I'm the only one who calls it that. You know when I do it? When I laugh? God, how'd you know?

Speaker 1:
[20:54] By the way, don't tell her, oh, there is a fun side to you. You're implying that generally speaking, people see a boring, sad side. I mean, this guy's just like an idiot. He's an idiot.

Speaker 2:
[21:05] This guy's so stupid. I can't.

Speaker 1:
[21:07] She has an interesting anecdote.

Speaker 6:
[21:09] Everybody used to call me SpongeBob in school because I used to laugh like SpongeBob.

Speaker 1:
[21:14] Okay. Both of you guys need to go into separate corners and just stop talking for the rest of the day.

Speaker 2:
[21:20] You're actually both terrible at this. And then he goes, what I was called high balls at school because my balls just didn't drop for ages. So you came from a whole school of very obvious things to say. First, it was, did Jenna laugh whenever she laughs and her name is Jenna. And now it's high balls because your balls didn't drop. She's like, good to know.

Speaker 3:
[21:42] So they dropped, have they dropped?

Speaker 2:
[21:44] He's like, they have. I can show you on that one. If you'd like to see him.

Speaker 1:
[21:50] So over on the boat, Batool is the only one doing something productive, which is that she's watching a telenovela. So good for her. And then in the galley, Ellie and Ben are icing the cake.

Speaker 5:
[22:01] And Ben's like, how's my little galley warrior?

Speaker 3:
[22:06] You good?

Speaker 1:
[22:06] Does that count? Does that require a bead in the jar? I think galley warrior is actually not that flirtatious. So I think I get away with that one. My milky, milky milk dud. Oh, damn it.

Speaker 5:
[22:19] I'm losing my touch here.

Speaker 2:
[22:22] So Ellie's like, oh, I'm great.

Speaker 3:
[22:24] I had conversation with Joao on the beach. It might have been misinterpreted. Maybe he didn't express himself well, but we're good now. Let's get back to the cake.

Speaker 2:
[22:34] It's like day seven on this fucking cake.

Speaker 1:
[22:37] The cake continues. So Eddy and Jenna are still on their date and he's like, so what would be like a fun date that you'd like to do? Like Minigolf's classic.

Speaker 2:
[22:47] No.

Speaker 4:
[22:48] He's like, how about going to a movie premiere?

Speaker 1:
[22:52] She is so disgusted. And then he's like, she is disgusted.

Speaker 2:
[22:55] I like when she goes, fuck Minigolf. Fuck that. You fucking kidding me? I could take you to the zoo.

Speaker 3:
[23:03] You like the zoo? Stinks, the zoo stinks. If I had to choose between Ben and Ellie and the last doll I want my picture to look like, Ellie wants the backpack. I don't even own a backpack. I'm close. But with Ben, his like, his mom's fine. And he likes to find things in life. And I don't have to feel guilty for that.

Speaker 2:
[23:23] Girl, he's a chef. He's a restaurant-less chef. What do you think? Benny mind you anything?

Speaker 1:
[23:30] Well, I think considering that both relationships aren't going anywhere, I think I'd go with Ben because at least he's funny.

Speaker 2:
[23:36] At least you can get free tiramisu at the end of the night, you know?

Speaker 1:
[23:39] Yeah, he's toxic, but at least he's funny and can cook me some food. Otherwise, I mean, I should go backpacking with that guy. No, thank you. Although I do like miniature golf and I will stand up for it. So and then, oh, the worst part of all. And he doesn't have enough money to pay for the tip at the restaurant. Okay, sir. Sir.

Speaker 2:
[24:03] Um, yeah, so they leave. Eddy had a lovely evening. Jenna says nothing because she's like, oh, God. So we see Jenna and Daisy back on deck and Daisy's asking her how it was.

Speaker 3:
[24:14] And she's like, you know, I touch a gentleman and suck. Yeah, but it's just like nothing I would normally go for. I mean, he did most of the talking and it was very bad. Did you know his balls dropped like a week ago?

Speaker 1:
[24:26] And then Ellie and Eddy are talking in the crew mess.

Speaker 6:
[24:29] And she's like, oh, you guys went on a date. I'm so happy for you. You guys did comprehensive review of your genetics and decided to merge them as well.

Speaker 1:
[24:40] It was lovely.

Speaker 4:
[24:41] Think, well, it was just nice to have that stick, you know?

Speaker 1:
[24:44] So meanwhile, Ellie texts Joao, it's like, oh, Joao, I would love to give you your birthday surprise.

Speaker 6:
[24:51] I've worked 45 days on it.

Speaker 1:
[24:53] Come see me soon, which is by the way, this is so like video gamey. It's like you get a message and it's like, I would love to give you your birthday surprise. Meet me at the docks. It's like new mission. Meet so and so at the docks. I guess I say this because I started playing a game, a game called Tiny Books Bookstore, where you build a tiny bookstore and bring it around town. And like ladies around the town are like, this is a great bookstore.

Speaker 4:
[25:20] Come meet me at the cafe. I want to give you some books.

Speaker 1:
[25:25] And it's the best game ever.

Speaker 2:
[25:29] Your boyfriend is like the only boyfriend who literally doesn't have to worry. I've never known a boyfriend this lucky. You can go out of town for months at a time working and you're sitting at home playing a game where you make up a bookstore and get little messages from ladies.

Speaker 1:
[25:47] There's a lady named Tilda and she's like the town, God of Gossip and she's like, could you sell these things at the flea market for me? And you're like, sure. And like the challenges that you do is that like people come into your bookstore and like, I'm looking for a book that's classic, but also takes me to different locations. Got to pick and then you have to look through your bookshelf and you find one and you read all. It's actually making me want to read some more. And you pick, you curate a book for them and hopefully they like it. It's just, it's just a great game. That's funny.

Speaker 2:
[26:16] So, Joao sees Ben, he's going to go chat with Ellie and Ben's like, oh, she didn't get the message, did she? He's loving this because he just helped her make the cake, so he knows. Joao's like, well, I guess I've said the message wrong. I held her hand and said we were getting married and I did that Beatles thing you do. But I don't want there to be any gray areas. I want it to be black and white.

Speaker 5:
[26:38] Okay. So what are we up against? A kiss. That's it, right? That's not a big deal.

Speaker 2:
[26:42] But she wanted more.

Speaker 5:
[26:44] Well, I know she does, but she'll be fine.

Speaker 2:
[26:46] I might have impregnated her. I'm not really sure. I hope I didn't, but it's happened before. All right. So he writes her back and he's like, a surprise? Let's meet on the bow in 10 minutes. I'd also like to chat. So of course, he's going to dump her right when she's made a birthday cake. I mean, this fucking guy. So Ben sees Jenna and Ben's like, you want to go outside and listen to these two idiots. So they're going to go just eavesdrop on this. And that's, you know, that is a good couple. Who's like, do you want to go listen to idiots cry?

Speaker 1:
[27:18] Yeah, that's fun. That's fun. But you're right. Like why not like eat the cake and then like do it the next day. And in fact, I mean, not to sound, not to be toxic, but as long as you're going to be toxic, your way out is to say, you know, I was thinking about it. And I think this is still just going too fast. I mean, the cake was wonderful, but it made me realize, I think we are looking for different things here. Let's just be friends, you know?

Speaker 2:
[27:40] The truly toxic way is to say, you know what, I was all in on this relationship, and then I tasted your cake, and it sucked.

Speaker 1:
[27:49] Your cake sucks.

Speaker 2:
[27:51] And I'm really sorry, I can't be with someone who makes such a terrible cheesecake. And that's it. That's it.

Speaker 1:
[27:56] Just put it on her, make her feel guilty.

Speaker 2:
[27:58] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:59] But then she'll, but it's Ellie, so she'll make like cheesecakes every day.

Speaker 5:
[28:02] Like, how about this one?

Speaker 6:
[28:03] How about this one? How about this one?

Speaker 2:
[28:05] I learn.

Speaker 6:
[28:06] I learn really well.

Speaker 1:
[28:08] So yes. Ben and Jenna go to eavesdrop, but maybe Ronnie, maybe it's time for us to eavesdrop on some fish.

Speaker 2:
[28:23] Fish report, fish report, now it's time for a fish report. This fish is the only fish in the neighborhood to refuse GLP1s. It's like, I don't care what y'all bitches are doing, I'm not doing it. I'm big, I'm beautiful, and you all look the same. Bye.

Speaker 1:
[28:46] This is a big fish that would be generally unremarkable, except for the fact that it has a big, beautiful. I think it's a little thin, back, like a fin, the tail, I should say. And that's like this neon green. It's big, it's colorful. It's like that one person in town who's pretty basic, but they get like a sassy haircut, or they like bleach their hair in some way. They're like, look at me, I'm into rock. And you're like, hmm, okay.

Speaker 2:
[29:08] Yeah, I agree. I think this is a beautiful fish. This is what I would like to think I would be like if I had gone to prom, which I didn't. No one asked, and I did not care. But just like big and beautiful and the best dressed everybody else just looks the same and stupid. You know, I'd just be like, I'm not here to dance with you. I'm on my way to the buffet.

Speaker 3:
[29:26] Send me to the buffet.

Speaker 1:
[29:29] Definitely business in the front, party in the back for this fish.

Speaker 2:
[29:32] Yes, girl. Yes. Okay. That's that fish. Then we go to this eel. Is it an eel out of shark?

Speaker 1:
[29:37] No, I think it's a shark. It's like a speckled shark. We've seen the speckled shark before, but just like the shark is like, well, so you may have like a big fancy tail, but my tail is menacing. It's like a knife, but a graceful knife, you know? But the speckles, the speckles are always very strong on this shark.

Speaker 2:
[29:55] I just, is this a shark? I mean, how could it be a shark when it has, it has like shark in the front eel ass.

Speaker 1:
[30:03] It has eel ass. It's, to me, it looks very sharky.

Speaker 2:
[30:07] I need my fish to be more specific. I need to know what you're going for. And I just feel like this shark is trying to be too many things to too many people. And that's why it's single. That's why it's swimming all alone in the water. It can't be everything.

Speaker 1:
[30:19] It's like Coco Chanel says, edit one thing. It's like either have the speckles or the tail, but you can't have both.

Speaker 2:
[30:25] Exactly. Cut your tail off and we'll talk.

Speaker 1:
[30:30] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[30:30] Oh my God. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

Speaker 1:
[30:43] This is the first time that we have encountered, I think, a dolphin on The Fish Report. Technically, this is not a fish, this is a mammal, but it's in the realm of the fish. Dolphin making its debut on The Fish Report, prancing around, having a great time. Look, there's some others, like a tuna back there, that's like, oh my god, there's a dolphin, it's a spy dolphin, get out of the way, don't say anything bad about the government.

Speaker 2:
[31:07] We're not doing anything, we take this route every morning, stop staring at us.

Speaker 1:
[31:10] Dolphin's like, guys. I'm a starfish. What are you guys talking about?

Speaker 2:
[31:14] Can I just say to the person who decide, oh, you're a starfish? Sorry.

Speaker 1:
[31:19] No, just like the dolphins, like trying to be like really chill. Like guys, I'm not a dolphin at all. It's like you're playing me a dolphin.

Speaker 2:
[31:25] This is starfish. I'm hanging out with, where's the turtle? Wanna hang out turtle? Wanna hang out? You're not a starfish. You fucking like get out of this neighborhood. I, whoever decided dolphins were gonna be called mammals, get over yourself. That I hate that person in a meeting who's like, okay, okay, we're in the ocean. Everything is swimming, but we're just gonna classify maybe like two things as mammals instead, just to fuck with everybody. Cause technically they have a little bit of hair on their tonsils or whatever the fuck they have. And now they're, now they're considered, get the fuck out of here. They're in the water. They're fucking fish. That's it.

Speaker 1:
[31:59] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a, it's a strong statement, but very happy to welcome dolphins to the fish report. Very happy.

Speaker 2:
[32:06] Even spy dolphins. I'm like, the dolphins are so cute. Look how it's like playing with the camera. It's like, look, it's like rolling over.

Speaker 3:
[32:13] It's like, I love you.

Speaker 2:
[32:14] Looking straight at us.

Speaker 3:
[32:15] I am a dolphin.

Speaker 1:
[32:16] It's doing a hell of a lot more than that shark you keep accidentally stumbling onto. We had to include the shark because this shark has become one of the, not an, I don't know, not an unsung hero, but the sleeping shark has come back. It's a recurring character on the fish report. And I just still think it's so funny that there's this one shark that refuses to move. It's like, I just, I just don't feel like being in the hunt anymore.

Speaker 2:
[32:38] I don't feel like chasing down humans. This is the fish version of Eddy's perfect wife. Just someone lying there in an apartment, never moving.

Speaker 1:
[32:46] Just waiting for Jeopardy to come on. You know, it's just, I've never seen a more bored shark in my life. I feel like any footage of sharks that you ever see, they're swimming around menacingly, they're just doing crazy things. And this one is just like, I am taking a nap in the sand. I've just never seen, is it even alive? I'm not even sure it's alive. I just probably found a dead shark and decide to film it.

Speaker 2:
[33:07] Yeah, this one's not even moving. Last time it was at least kind of moving. This one you see dust flying past its head and nothing's happening. But also sharks are designed so odd, like you can't sleep properly because you have to sleep on fins. Like, hello. Did we think of that when we thought of like, hey, how are sharks going to sleep? I mean, not to diss God, but like, hello. What were we thinking? Okay, this is not one of your perfect designs. Let the man have a good rest.

Speaker 1:
[33:34] I will say, though, like, the sharks are like, sort of more tubular than, say, like, a lot of the fish. A lot of the fish are sort of like these, like, narrow. Like, I feel like you could, if they didn't want to kill you, you could probably hug a shark, you know? You could probably wrap your arms around it and just hug it, you know? But you can't do that with a fish.

Speaker 2:
[33:52] That's true. I've tried. So next, we go to this crazy looking thing. I don't know, what the hell is this thing? I can't even conceptualize where there's an eye.

Speaker 1:
[34:03] This is an octopus that's preparing for a fight outside the mall. It's like, it's like clapping its arms.

Speaker 2:
[34:09] It's an octopus? But wait, it has fins. Look.

Speaker 1:
[34:14] No, it's just doing some pizzazz. It may be two octopuses, it may be two octopuses hanging out.

Speaker 2:
[34:21] But it's like twirling something. It's like twirling.

Speaker 1:
[34:26] It's like it's just, it's got flaps, you know? Sometimes these octopuses have weird things on them.

Speaker 2:
[34:32] And this is his head, right?

Speaker 1:
[34:32] The coloring is amazing.

Speaker 2:
[34:33] This flapping, cause his eyes are down here. This is a fabulous fucking octopus, I have to say. The outfit, it's like neon yellow, neon orange, neon like sci-fi blue. I mean, this is a fabulous piece of work.

Speaker 1:
[34:47] It does not sort of look like the inside of a movie theater, like the lobby of like an Edward cinema or something like that, you know? It's like Friday night movies and this is what, like the neon lights and like the color scheme, like that's the carpet.

Speaker 2:
[34:58] See Angelica. But this is the, this is also, and I'm sorry, because I just called it fabulous, so this is going to sound like a contradiction, but I've just noticed that it has combed forward all of its tentacles. It's like the mic. It's the mic octopus.

Speaker 1:
[35:13] Well, I think it's combed forward.

Speaker 2:
[35:14] That's why it has fins on its head. It just got back from Turkey.

Speaker 1:
[35:19] I feel like it's two octopuses having sex, honestly. Or maybe it's one octopus fighting another one. I feel like the eye on the left is not attached to the octopus on the right. I think it's two things happening here. There could be a fight. Maybe they're in a fight. Or they're either having sex or they're fighting. Something is happening here. Well, this is better than the whole biologist time in.

Speaker 2:
[35:37] I would like to know. Yeah. Okay. So then we have this. Is this a fish?

Speaker 1:
[35:44] Well, it's just a big clam shell. But I think it's beautiful though. Look at the, it's just as clam shells go. You know, as suggestive items from the seago, this is just gorgeous. That blue ribbon that goes through it.

Speaker 2:
[36:00] It looks like that wood art that people make with that clear liquid that you pour into things and it gets hard, what's it called?

Speaker 1:
[36:08] Yeah. I want to say personally European, but it's not that.

Speaker 2:
[36:12] No, but yeah, you know what I mean, right? People make tables out of it. It looks like that.

Speaker 1:
[36:18] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:18] But it needs to do one. Oh, this fish is gorgeous.

Speaker 1:
[36:22] This is the Grace Jones of fish.

Speaker 2:
[36:24] Oh, what a gorgeous fish. So this is like on the bottom, it's black and white spotted. And then on the top, it's black and leopard printed. And then the tail is a mixture of both. And then the lips are open and they're painted orange. What a gorgeous fish, you know, it's like always singing, it's like...

Speaker 1:
[36:43] This fish is always going... This fish listens to a lot of house music, if you ask me. Like when you say it's speckled on the bottom, it's like it's big chunky ones. Like it almost looks like a... Like a... What do you call it? Like it's like, it looks like flagstones or something like that, like a soccer ball. But my favorite part is how, where its eyes are, it has this white strip. It's got like this dark coloration, but then has this white strip around its eyes. It just feels very glam, very David Bowie, Grace Jones. And it's just like, this is the chic one. It shows up. It's like fashion forward. It knows what the trends are. It's going to the Met Gala. This fish is doing it all.

Speaker 2:
[37:19] It's fabulous, but it keeps bumping into things because it's like got a thing over its eyes. It's like wearing a scarf over its eyes. It's like, oh God, this scarf is fabulous, but I can't see a fucking thing.

Speaker 1:
[37:31] This fish was friends with Basquiat at one point. I don't know if you guys know that. Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 2:
[37:36] The leopard print doesn't really match the outfit though. I'm just going to go out and say it. I'm no fashion, fashion gay, but it kind of doesn't match, but I guess that's what makes it work.

Speaker 1:
[37:45] Yeah. She doesn't care.

Speaker 2:
[37:48] Is it about to eat this coral? Look, it's going right up with its open mouth. I don't know, that's the thing. You always think it's about to eat something because its mouth is always open. It's like, oh God.

Speaker 1:
[37:55] No, it's just about to say something about Andre Leon Talley. It's like, oh my God. What an icon he was, am I right?

Speaker 2:
[38:05] Okay, so then we get some crazy jellyfish in this episode. These are gorgeous. These are like spotted mushroom. Are they lighting the fish now? Are they lighting them with like black light?

Speaker 1:
[38:17] I'm not sure, but these jellyfish are blue and they have like sequins, like little, not sequins, like little studs almost. They look like they're going to a fundraiser, and it's like Kiba Bryson is performing. And they're like, don't get ready.

Speaker 2:
[38:31] Yeah, it's beautiful in movement, but then look at this shot, and it just looks like a nose with blackheads all over it.

Speaker 1:
[38:38] It's a nose. It's a nose with blackheads. Yeah, okay, well, that's ruined. It's not as elegant anymore.

Speaker 2:
[38:45] You're ugly now, sorry. We're moving on. Okay, this is a drunk seahorse.

Speaker 1:
[38:48] The seahorses, I don't know, I don't know, This is the Tilda Swinton of seahorses.

Speaker 2:
[38:53] Yeah, I'm up, I'm up, I'm back down. I can't, wait, is someone at the door? No, I was at the door. Why do you keep barking? Stop barking. No one's at the door. Is someone at the door?

Speaker 3:
[39:02] Oh God, stop barking.

Speaker 1:
[39:04] Well, this is the last time I ever go swimming in marshmallow fluff, I'll tell you one thing. This thing does not come off. People don't know I'm actually a bright color of yellow.

Speaker 2:
[39:15] This is another sea animal that God was like, you're never gonna sleep well. I'm not gonna make you in a shape that you can sleep. So in order to sleep, you're gonna have to grab on to like roots with your tail and just sway. That's what you get now.

Speaker 1:
[39:32] This, you know what? The seahorse sort of looks delicious, mainly because the seahorse looks like it has a vanilla glaze on it. It's like someone dipped it in glaze. I'm like, ooh, never wanted to eat a seahorse before, but this one I can't help but decide, I kind of want to lick the seahorse right now.

Speaker 2:
[39:49] It also has a chicken nugget body kind of.

Speaker 1:
[39:52] I know, it's one of the strangest creations. If you really look at it.

Speaker 2:
[39:56] This was gorgeous, though. I loved this. Okay, so now we have like a little, is this a snail?

Speaker 1:
[40:02] It looks like a snail. It looks like it probably would kill you if you touched it. I feel like it's got poison.

Speaker 2:
[40:08] It's like a black snail with yellow globs all over it coming out, like pestules or postules, pestules?

Speaker 1:
[40:15] Because there are some snails that are super, like they'll kill you, like river snails that are like, some, I don't know, like a horn snail or something or other. This one I'm not fucking with, but it is gorgeous. It is like, this is like Grace Cottington wants her face who works at Vogue. There's a lot of fashion-forward fish today, and this one is like not approachable. Like you have to go through three assistants just to get an email to her.

Speaker 2:
[40:42] Or the one that's like always sick, and then you're like, you have to come into work today, you're calling in sick all the time, and then they show up and there's snot coming out of like open wounds on them, and you're like, why did you come in today? Because you made me come in. It's like the one day you weren't faking it.

Speaker 1:
[40:57] Yeah, and I have to say this snail could also is a little bit meta because it sort of looks like the snail. It was like Spirit Day in the office, and you had to come up with a costume, so it like made us took a sweatshirt and stuck a bunch of goldfish crackers to it and said, well, since we're under the sea, I thought this would be an appropriate look.

Speaker 2:
[41:14] And then it rained, so they kind of melted. It's like, oh god, that just looks stupid. Okay, so now we get more jellyfish. Now these jellyfish are important because they're not normal. They're really small, and they don't just go like this.

Speaker 5:
[41:26] Bwuh, bwuh.

Speaker 2:
[41:28] That's the sound of like a normal jellyfish swimming. They're like, bwuh, bwuh. These ones are like, hh, hh, hh, hh, hh, hh.

Speaker 1:
[41:36] Yeah, they're very sexual. They look both like, sort of like penises and sperm all at the same time. They're like the full, yeah, the full spectrum of male sexuality.

Speaker 2:
[41:47] It's like the one time Bob Fosse, Jellyfish was like, we're tap dancing today. They're like, okay, let's do it. We're Jellyfish, but we will try it.

Speaker 5:
[41:55] We're in the money.

Speaker 3:
[41:56] We're in the money.

Speaker 1:
[42:01] Well, hello, Fishy. Well, hello, Fishy. Yeah, they're dancing. They're having a great time.

Speaker 2:
[42:09] And that was the Fisherport, Fisherport. That was the Fisherport. Okay, so now Mike and Eddy are working. Okay. Oh, Ben and Jenna. Okay. So Ben and Jenna are going to listen to this conversation. So Ellie comes with the cake. She finds to see, she goes to the bow to see Joao, but he's on the different levels.

Speaker 3:
[42:34] She's like, how do I get down there?

Speaker 2:
[42:36] And he's like, well, you come down to the lower deck, walk through the room that looks like a wedding chapel. I'll be waiting at what looks like an altar.

Speaker 3:
[42:45] She's like, okay, I'm coming.

Speaker 6:
[42:49] So it's my very first lemon meringue cheesecake, and I've been working on it for what feels like three days. Happy birthday, genetics.

Speaker 1:
[42:58] And he's like, oh, well, thank you a lot. I appreciate it. My birthday wish is, hmm, that I can marry you someday. Oh, God, why do I keep saying these things? Okay, I'm gonna keep it very black and white, very black and white. Okay. My favorite color is gray. Oh, no, I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. What do I say to her? What do I say?

Speaker 2:
[43:16] Is this lemon meringue? I hope we dance the meringue at our wedding. Oh, God, please stop.

Speaker 3:
[43:23] So it's like, yeah, my first lemon meringue cheesecake.

Speaker 5:
[43:26] And Ben's like, oh, God, here we go.

Speaker 2:
[43:28] Now this is when I, I mean, I've already like yelled at the TV a lot this episode, but this is the first time I was like, whoa, this, this is, you can get more disgust.

Speaker 3:
[43:39] Why would you eat the cake?

Speaker 2:
[43:40] You know, you're about to break up with her. Tell her, wait, I can't take your cake. Listen. Yes. I need to have, don't eat the cake while you dump her. I mean, what a fucking monster, dude. So she gets the cake. She gives him a piece of the cake. He eats the cake, then asks how her day is. She's like, great. They eat the cake. And Ben's like, I told her she should save that fucking cake for the gas, but she didn't listen to me.

Speaker 1:
[44:05] Yes. He's so mad. Or just serve it to the crew.

Speaker 5:
[44:08] And Ben's like, look at that body language. She's very open, but he's closed off. He's got his arms and his knees and everything up.

Speaker 6:
[44:15] So she's like, well, everybody wants to hear, wants to tear us apart for whatever reason. And it hasn't like really even been coming from us. It's been coming from like all the other people. People want to keep us apart.

Speaker 1:
[44:26] And he's like, yes. Well, you know, I guess I've played into that as well. I'm not going to lie. I guess Insta Karma is going to get you. Anyway, what's a good Beatles song for this moment? Help. Okay. That's a good song.

Speaker 2:
[44:41] Blackbird singing that loves him. Take these broken wings and please let me dump you this time. Okay. Listen, here's the truth. I am attracted to you.

Speaker 3:
[44:52] Oh, good. We're going to conceive baby on your birthday. Nine months, nine months after daddy's birthday.

Speaker 2:
[44:58] Nope, nope, nope, the truth is I'm attracted to you, but I didn't mean to mislead you. And if that's how you felt, it was very misleading. She's like, um, what?

Speaker 3:
[45:08] I thought we were sorting things out.

Speaker 2:
[45:10] What? Well, I thought we were on a mutual ground where we can be friends. And I really regret not being more stern about what I said. I thought I said, we are only friends. I barely like you. Who are you? Well, whose hands are those on my naked butt? Oh, God, that finger on my butt. Okay, that did feel good. That part felt good. What am I talking about?

Speaker 1:
[45:29] Let me put it to you this way. In life, sometimes you take the long and winding road. And unfortunately, that is a road that I must go on alone, but with you by my side, because we'll be married soon. So I hope I made this clear how I stand.

Speaker 6:
[45:42] Um, okay, well, the entire time you've been saying that you want to be respectful and you want to get to know me and you want to continue getting to know me.

Speaker 1:
[45:51] Well, to be fair, it's been a hard day's night, and I don't really know where to go from here, but you know, it's been a day in the life for me, so it's very difficult.

Speaker 2:
[46:06] I do want to keep getting to know you, but it doesn't mean I want to be with you. I apologize, and I'm trying to fix what I've wronged, but I'd like for there to be a way for us to still be friends. Basically, I'll be on a boat, and you'll be on a yellow submarine. A yellow submarine. You just live alone on a yellow submarine. Do you understand?

Speaker 1:
[46:29] I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are here, but I am nowhere. I'm a real nowhere man. Do you understand? A person who's nowhere can't be here at the same time.

Speaker 6:
[46:42] I don't understand, but you know it. Thank you. You've explained your stance. Thank you for that. We are moving on in a professional manner. We are coworkers, and that is it. And I don't want friendship. I don't want chit chats. And I don't want hugs. I don't want anything. We are coworkers, and that is it. And by all means, enjoy the cake. I put in a lot of effort, which is why I'm not throwing it in your face.

Speaker 3:
[46:59] Goodbye. One is the loneliest number that you'll ever see.

Speaker 2:
[47:06] And he continues to eat the fucking cake. This fucker. So she doesn't side broken. And I said, this man is going to cry now. And of course, it cuts to the rocker.

Speaker 3:
[47:20] I don't want to hurt anyone.

Speaker 5:
[47:22] It's not fair.

Speaker 2:
[47:24] If you're open about things right from the start, you're going to serve a hurt later on. But oh, it's such a stupid thing.

Speaker 3:
[47:31] Do you still eat that cheesecake?

Speaker 2:
[47:33] Stop pretending to cry when you're eating that cheesecake.

Speaker 1:
[47:35] Yes. And then Ben and Jenna come show, like they go down there to join him and he's like, well, there's a nice lemon meringue cheesecake if you want to enjoy it. So they go and Ben's like, well, I'm going to taste it and I'll tell you what it tastes like. It's promising. That's a fucking good cake. I mean, how can you turn that away? And then they do a close up of the cake like they do for all the food that comes to the table and says, Joao's break up cake, I cracked up.

Speaker 2:
[48:07] I didn't see that. That's funny.

Speaker 5:
[48:10] So Joao goes in and Jenna's like, happy birthday, Sam Faddis.

Speaker 2:
[48:14] And Ben's like, let's look at the stars.

Speaker 5:
[48:18] I reckon that's Venus.

Speaker 2:
[48:20] Please.

Speaker 1:
[48:21] It was the moon. He's crazy. There was no difference between the moon and Venus.

Speaker 2:
[48:26] Well, at least the camera showed us the moon. And Jenna asks him why he knows.

Speaker 3:
[48:31] She's like, did you have a telescope and shit?

Speaker 5:
[48:33] He's like, I did physics.

Speaker 3:
[48:35] I did physics too. I loved physics. But I was a bad student. I was an intelligent, but I was a bad student.

Speaker 5:
[48:43] What was that?

Speaker 6:
[48:47] Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Speaker 1:
[48:51] Okay, sweetheart, I'm gonna go inside to watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Good night. So they get into bed. And then we see those suggestive jellyfish. It's like bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. And suddenly it's 5 a.m. It's like the almost time to climax.

Speaker 3:
[49:06] Brrrr.

Speaker 1:
[49:07] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[49:08] It's 5, 10 a.m. Jenna gets up and goes to Ben's bed. And they make out.

Speaker 1:
[49:17] That's it. Done.

Speaker 2:
[49:18] That's it.

Speaker 6:
[49:18] Done.

Speaker 2:
[49:21] Wow. What an episode. Joao strikes again. Joao strikes again. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here with us. Great times as always. We will catch you on the bonus episode where we are recapping last week's Survivor. Why are we doing it the same day as the other Survivor comes out? Because that's how we roll. But we're going to have a good damn time doing it. So join us for that. We'll talk to you next time. Thanks for being here. Bye.

Speaker 1:
[49:49] Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King.

Speaker 2:
[49:54] Our way is the Amber Way.

Speaker 1:
[49:56] It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

Speaker 2:
[50:06] Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay. It's Emily Gauthier.

Speaker 1:
[50:19] Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-lis. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less namey.

Speaker 2:
[50:29] Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.

Speaker 1:
[50:32] She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Speaker 2:
[50:38] Kristen the Piston Anderson. Ksera sera. Whatever we'll be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

Speaker 1:
[50:52] Aren't you glad it's Mary Ann Ahrens?

Speaker 2:
[50:54] Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

Speaker 1:
[50:58] This is Livin with Michelle Vivian.

Speaker 2:
[51:00] I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Speaker 1:
[51:03] She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

Speaker 2:
[51:05] Yes, we canna. It's Sedana.

Speaker 1:
[51:08] Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Speaker 2:
[51:12] Darn Skippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V.

Speaker 1:
[51:19] Can I have a Cavanaugh? It's Anna Cavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD.

Speaker 2:
[51:24] We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Speaker 1:
[51:27] Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neil.

Speaker 2:
[51:29] Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogel your horses. It's Christine Hogel. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

Speaker 1:
[51:40] Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcolani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.

Speaker 2:
[52:05] The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Shirauz. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Brince.

Speaker 1:
[52:18] Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

Speaker 2:
[52:24] We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Telofsun.

Speaker 1:
[52:27] Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

Speaker 2:
[52:33] Let's strike a pose. It's Tory Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar.

Speaker 1:
[52:39] We love you guys.