transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:01] And now, it's time for Who Smarted. Psst, hey, smarty pants, welcome aboard the USS Smarty Pants as we once again boldly go where no pants have gone before. Today's mission takes us to a faraway region of the universe, more specifically to the binary star system known as Alpha Rats. Alpha Rats is tucked neatly inside the Andromeda Galaxy, which is the closest neighbor to our very own Milky Way Galaxy. Why are we headed there, you ask? Good question. We are on our way to conduct highly scientific research to determine just how close we need to be to one of Alpha Rats' two stars, to pop a perfect bag of popcorn. Uh, number one, are you already popping our space popcorn?

Speaker 2:
[00:49] Sorry, Captain Trusty. The ride to Alpha Rats is very, very long, and my stomach is very grumbly. I didn't think it would hurt our mission if I borrowed a few popcorn kernels for a little space snack. Uh, would you like some?

Speaker 1:
[01:04] Not now, number one. Anyway, as my first officer just said, the trip to Alpha Rats is very, very long. In fact, it's 97 light years away from Earth, which means even if we were to go at the speed of light, which is faster than any humans have ever gone before, it would still take us 97 years to get to Alpha Rats.

Speaker 2:
[01:25] Whoa.

Speaker 1:
[01:26] Fortunately, this spaceship is equipped with a podcast power drive, which will allow us to get there in just a few seconds.

Speaker 2:
[01:33] That reminds me, Captain, the podcast power drive is down.

Speaker 1:
[01:38] Down?

Speaker 2:
[01:39] Yes, as in not working.

Speaker 1:
[01:42] Okay. Can we go any faster?

Speaker 2:
[01:45] I'm giving it all she's got, Captain, but we can't go faster than the speed of light.

Speaker 1:
[01:50] But at the speed, it'll take us 97 years to get to Alpha Rats.

Speaker 2:
[01:54] We probably should have left earlier.

Speaker 1:
[01:56] Left earlier? If we left the day we were born, we'd still be 97 when we got there. And what about getting back?

Speaker 2:
[02:04] I sure hope this popcorn is worth it.

Speaker 3:
[02:09] Perhaps I could help.

Speaker 1:
[02:11] Yikes. Red alert.

Speaker 2:
[02:13] Red alert activated. Should I fire photon torpedoes at that long squirmy thing talking to us from space?

Speaker 3:
[02:20] Whoa, whoa, whoa. I come in peace. I'm just a space worm.

Speaker 2:
[02:25] Hmm. It appears to be some kind of space worm, Captain.

Speaker 1:
[02:29] Yes, I heard him, Number One.

Speaker 2:
[02:31] What should I do?

Speaker 1:
[02:34] Are you eating?

Speaker 2:
[02:36] Sorry, I always eat when we're under attack.

Speaker 3:
[02:39] Hey, I'm not attacking you. I'm a friendly space worm.

Speaker 2:
[02:43] Fire torpedoes, Captain?

Speaker 1:
[02:45] No. In fact, cancel the alarm. There's no such thing as a space worm.

Speaker 3:
[02:50] Hey buddy, I'm right here.

Speaker 2:
[02:52] He does have a compelling argument, sir.

Speaker 1:
[02:55] No, no, no, no, no. Smartypants, we've experienced a lot of the universe together. Enough to know that giant space worms do not exist, especially in our solar system.

Speaker 3:
[03:07] Oh, but I am real. How else would we get wormholes?

Speaker 2:
[03:12] Ooh, that's right. Uh, what are wormholes?

Speaker 1:
[03:16] I've heard of them. They're shortcuts in space that allow you to go from one spot in the universe to another far-reaching part of the universe in no time.

Speaker 3:
[03:26] You got it. And that's how you can travel to the Andromeda Galaxy.

Speaker 2:
[03:30] Hey, problem solved.

Speaker 1:
[03:33] Or is it? Smartypants, do wormholes actually exist?

Speaker 2:
[03:37] Oh, that would be a bummer.

Speaker 1:
[03:40] Before we do anything, the Smartypants and I need to get to the bottom of this. For starters, what exactly are wormholes? Could they really be a way to travel across the universe? And if they do exist, why haven't we seen one yet? It's time for another whiff of science and history on... Okay, I don't know about you, Smarty Pants, but 97 years to get to the Andromeda Galaxy just to pop some popcorn is way too long.

Speaker 2:
[04:26] Uh, yeah, especially when we already have a microwave.

Speaker 1:
[04:29] Could you please stop eating our experiment? Maybe there's a way we can get there in less than 97 years.

Speaker 3:
[04:35] You can. I can help.

Speaker 1:
[04:38] Right, perhaps the giant space worm hovering just outside the USS Smarty Pants can help. Remind me, what is your name again?

Speaker 3:
[04:46] Wormnose.

Speaker 1:
[04:47] Wormnose?

Speaker 3:
[04:50] What can I say? The names Wormtongue and Wormtail were already taken.

Speaker 1:
[04:55] Listen, no offense, but I still don't think space worms are real.

Speaker 2:
[04:58] But Captain, Wormnose says he has a way for us to get to Andromeda quickly.

Speaker 3:
[05:03] Exactly, through a wormhole.

Speaker 1:
[05:06] Right. Smartypants, do you know what a space wormhole is? Is it A. A massive teleporter?

Speaker 3:
[05:15] B.

Speaker 1:
[05:15] A space tunnel? Or C. A worm's mouth? The answer is B. A space tunnel. Supposedly, if you fly through one of these tunnels, you can get from one spot in the universe to another in no time.

Speaker 2:
[05:32] A tunnel? In space? How can there be a tunnel in space?

Speaker 1:
[05:36] That's what I'm saying. It would be very complicated.

Speaker 3:
[05:39] No, it's not, trusty. I make wormholes all the time.

Speaker 1:
[05:43] Sure you do. Another reason why I don't think you exist. Smartypants, do you know how wormholes supposedly work? If you want, you can grab a piece of paper or napkin or anything thin and bendable that you can write on. Or you can just listen now and try it later. Ok, got your paper? Good. Now near the bottom of the paper draw a dot. Label that dot E. At the top of the paper, far from the E, draw another dot and label that one A. Let's say E is Earth and A is alpharats. Draw a line connecting the two. Let's say that's the distance between Earth and alpharats, and it'll take 97 years to get from point E to point A.

Speaker 2:
[06:23] Wow, 97 years to get across one sheet of paper.

Speaker 1:
[06:27] It's just a diagram number one. The paper represents the universe.

Speaker 2:
[06:32] Ah, got it.

Speaker 1:
[06:33] Now, smarty pants, bend that paper so that the E is lined up with the A, and then, using a sharpened pencil or a pen, poke a hole through it. As you can see, or imagine, by bending the paper, you've just connected the E and A. Compared to the line you just drew, would you say the distance between E and A is now longer or shorter?

Speaker 2:
[06:54] Shorter, by a lot.

Speaker 1:
[06:56] Yes, it's shorter, and the hole in the paper connecting those two dots, that represents the wormhole.

Speaker 3:
[07:03] See, like I was saying, wormholes make traveling through space a whole lot faster. Ta-da!

Speaker 2:
[07:10] Shall I set a course for the wormhole, sir?

Speaker 1:
[07:12] Set a course for where? Wormholes aren't just everywhere. Smartypants, where do you suppose the closest wormhole is? Is it A, near the moon? B, over by Neptune? Or C, nobody knows? The answer is C! Scientists haven't found one yet, and even if they did, most likely, it wouldn't be anywhere near Earth. Oh. So if we want a wormhole near us, we'll have to make one.

Speaker 2:
[07:39] Aha! I'm on it, captain.

Speaker 1:
[07:41] Um, number one, you didn't create a wormhole, you just fired up the microwave again.

Speaker 2:
[07:46] Right. Well, the truth is, I don't know how to create a wormhole, so I figured I'd pop more popcorn instead.

Speaker 1:
[07:55] Oh, boy. Smartypants, think back to our example. What did we bend or warp to create our wormhole? If you said the paper, you're right. And what did the paper represent? That's right, the universe. So in order to create a wormhole, Smartypants, you'd need to warp the universe. Whoa.

Speaker 2:
[08:14] On it, Captain. Um...

Speaker 1:
[08:16] Smartypants, true or false? Humans have the technology to do this. The answer is...

Speaker 3:
[08:25] false.

Speaker 1:
[08:28] So unless there's another way to make a wormhole...

Speaker 3:
[08:31] Over here.

Speaker 1:
[08:31] We probably won't make it to Alpharet's...

Speaker 3:
[08:34] Worm nose...

Speaker 1:
[08:35] .in less than 97 years.

Speaker 3:
[08:37] But say you had a space worm.

Speaker 1:
[08:41] Oh boy, here we go again. What do you think, Smartypants? Are there giant space worms making giant wormholes in the universe? Well, we'll find out right after this quick break. And a word from our sponsors. Now back to Who Smarted.

Speaker 2:
[08:58] Captain Trusty, the giant space worm is insisting it can help us.

Speaker 3:
[09:02] The name's worm nose.

Speaker 1:
[09:04] Yeah, I still don't think you really exist. And I'm not sold that wormholes exist either.

Speaker 2:
[09:09] But Captain, if no one has ever seen a wormhole and we can't build one, why would anyone think they might exist?

Speaker 1:
[09:17] Good question, number one. What do you think, smarty pants? Uh-huh, I'm hearing some interesting answers. Yeah, well, I assure you it's not because of a strong belief in space worms. The reason why some scientists believe that wormholes could exist is because the laws of science suggest they might be possible. Whoa. Smarty pants, which famous, genius scientist was one of the first to discover the possibility of wormholes? Was it A. Sir Isaac Newton in 1687, B. Albert Einstein in 1935, or C. Stephen Hawking in 1974? The answer is B. Albert Einstein. Using mathematics and his own theories regarding gravity, Einstein and physicist Nathan Rosen said massive objects might be able to create shortcuts through spacetime, which first became known as Einstein-Rosen bridges.

Speaker 3:
[10:16] Bridges? In space? Like we're gonna go stroll over a space bridge and take in the sights? Oh, look, kids, Jupiter! Doesn't Saturn look gorgeous this time of year? And wow, I can't believe there are so many stars! Come on! What a ridiculous name!

Speaker 1:
[10:39] Take it easy, worm nose.

Speaker 3:
[10:41] I'm just saying. Besides, the name wormhole from the 1960s makes way more sense than a bridge. Think of the universe like an apple. If you bit into it, you might find a big squishy worm.

Speaker 1:
[10:56] Yeah, I don't think that...

Speaker 3:
[10:58] How did that worm get there? By digging a hole. Through the hole, you can easily travel from one side of the apple to the other. Same with the universe.

Speaker 1:
[11:06] Smartypants, despite what my new friend says, worms are not digging holes in space. Keep in mind, Einstein was studying gravity when the idea of wormholes came about. Smartypants, what massive space object's gravity is so strong that light can't even escape it? Is it A. Asteroids, B. Nebula, or C. Black Holes? The answer is C. Black Holes. And they may be the key to helping us find wormholes.

Speaker 2:
[11:35] How so, Captain?

Speaker 1:
[11:36] Well, let's think about that. Smartypants, why are wormholes hard to discover? Is it A. They might be too small, B. They probably don't last very long, or C. They might be inside a black hole? The answer is, all three. Scientists believe some wormholes are so small, they're microscopic.

Speaker 2:
[11:56] Good luck finding those in the vastness of space.

Speaker 1:
[11:59] Other wormholes, and perhaps all wormholes, are so unstable that they don't last very long before collapsing.

Speaker 2:
[12:05] Set a course for, uh, never mind, it's gone.

Speaker 1:
[12:09] Which would make travel through them impossible. But...

Speaker 2:
[12:13] But, Captain?

Speaker 1:
[12:14] But... Scientists believe some black holes, with their huge mass and gravitational force warping space and time, could be entrances to wormholes.

Speaker 2:
[12:24] Sir, did you say warping time? As in, wormholes could be time machines?

Speaker 1:
[12:35] Smartypants, what do you think? True or false? Wormholes might be able to send us back in time. The answer is... true. Scientists say massive objects not only bend space, they also affect time. So, in theory, you can enter a wormhole and come out at a time before you went in. Whoa. Remember, that's just a theory. We won't know until we try it.

Speaker 2:
[13:01] And to do that, we'd have to go through a black hole?

Speaker 1:
[13:07] Looks like it.

Speaker 2:
[13:08] I seem to clearly remember a Who Smarted episode on black holes. I don't think we want to go anywhere near one. That intense gravity could crush us.

Speaker 1:
[13:18] Yeah, it's probably not worth the risk. Besides, the closest known black hole is actually farther away than alpharats by more than 1500 light years. So, it doesn't look like humans will be traveling through wormholes anytime soon.

Speaker 2:
[13:35] Do you think we'll ever know if wormholes truly exist?

Speaker 1:
[13:38] We might. Black holes didn't seem real when they were first introduced, and now we have images of one. So maybe one day we'll see proof of a wormhole. Until then, they remain a fun part of science fiction stories, just like Worm Nose here.

Speaker 3:
[13:51] I'm telling you, I'm real!

Speaker 2:
[13:54] Yep, just like this podcast power drive. Hey, what do you know? When good whack in the podcast power drive is running again, shall I set a course for alpha rats?

Speaker 1:
[14:05] Nope.

Speaker 2:
[14:05] But Captain, why not?

Speaker 1:
[14:07] Because you ate all the popcorn for the experiment.

Speaker 2:
[14:13] Whoops, setting a new course for home.

Speaker 1:
[14:17] A big shout out to Smarty fans Isla and her dad Lauren from Corte Madera, California, who love listening to Who Smarted every chance they get. We also know you love episodes about space and black holes, so we figured this one would be perfect for you. I'm happy to have your Smarty family smarting with us. This episode, Wormholes, was written by Dave Blackhole-Baudry and voiced by Adam Lost in Space Davis, Mike Schatz, and Jerry Kolber. Technical direction and sound design by Josh, Event Horizon Han. Our associate producer is Maximillian Kamaski. The theme song is by Brian, Warp Speed, Suarez, with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis. Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Kolber. This has been an Atomic Audio Production.