transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Speaker 2:
[00:07] Hey guys, I'm Whitney Port, and this is With Whit. A lot of you may know me from reality TV, and the reality is a lot's happened since The Hills. With Whit is dedicated to having real, raw, and occasionally ridiculous conversations with the people who have had a profound impact on me. Life-changing moments, life-changing people, because on With Whit, very little is off limits. Hi, everybody. Welcome to With Whit, live from New York City. We're not really live, but I'm here in New York. Ah, you guys. Do any of you have an issue with taking off your clothes when you get home? Like, for me, I cannot get undressed when I get home. It takes me so long. To get undressed. Like, I just don't want to be cold to the act changing. It just feels like too much work. So I'm still in a three-piece suit that I was wearing for an event this morning. Because I'm too lazy to get out of it, even though I'm dying to shower and get comfortable. But I'm also still waiting to hear if I'm going out tonight slash. I don't even know if I want to go out tonight. I have a headache. But you guys, let's get into it. Today is 4.20. You know what that means. I just got a whole stock up of high confectionary they sent to my room, and I'm like, I got to hand this out before I leave town, or eat them all. I don't know. But I just got back to my hotel room a little while ago, and I've just been pacing around, sitting, going through my makeup bag, prepping for this, just having a lot of nervous energy, not exactly knowing what to do while knowing exactly what I need to do, which is this. I decided just get in front of the camera and do it. Let's just do it. First of all, if you're watching this on YouTube, hey, you're probably wondering why I have so much hair and makeup right now. I had an event and I got glam. I cannot wait for my hair to be longer. Cannot wait. Okay. That's all besides the point. There is no real plan here. Let's just chit chat. Let's chit chat about why I'm here. Let's chit chat about what's going on in my life. Let's just chit chat as we do. I am staying downtown, properly downtown, past the Seaport. I'm staying at the Wall Street Hotel. It's so cute here. Look at my bed. I feel like a princess. It's really quiet too, which I love. You don't hear all the sirens and the cabs and all that shit. I'm just loving this quiet energy right now because New York at the moment is not giving me the same energy that it was a year or two ago. The past couple of times that I've come here, I think maybe it's just because it hasn't been very nice weather. I don't know. I just am anxious being here. There's just so much energy. There's always noise. I feel guilty if I'm just sitting in my hotel room. I feel like I should always have plans, but I think that it's a little bit too overstimulating for my sensitive little body and brain. I actually came out here with Progyny and Resolve, National Infertility Association for National Infertility Awareness Week, to light the Empire State Building orange, which is the color of infertility, which I did not know, but the more you know. It was amazing, but also layered. I've obviously talked about infertility in different ways before, so I don't feel the need to go into a whole explanation of what it is. You probably don't need to know what it is either, but being here for this in person feels different than just talking about it in my own space, on my own terms for some reason. There's something about being invited here that makes you feel very aware of your situation. It's not really something that you created or chose, and that just lands a little bit differently in my body, whether I want it to or not. I don't want to be asked to do this because I wish I didn't have to face infertility, but I also feel honored to be able to have these conversations. I also want to put this out there. When we talk about how speaking up and telling your story enables so many people to not feel alone, I never want that to come across like I am urging anyone out there to share their story if they don't feel fully comfortable. This isn't like, we all need to be talking about it, and if you don't talk about it, then are you even going through it? This isn't about that. This is more just about me having these conversations and raising this awareness so that people know that they are not alone and that there are options. Progyny and Resolve actually have helpful options and ways for families to make a family the way that feels comfortable and right to them. We went to the Empire State Building today. I had just been there with Timmy and Sunny a couple of months ago, so it all felt very familiar to me, but it was just so special. Today, it felt so much bigger than it actually is probably because of what we were there for. It was a quiet moment for me when you realize that something that usually feels very contained to your own life is actually so much larger and you're physically standing inside of that realization. It was very surreal. I really think what stood out to me the most wasn't even obviously the building itself, as much as just like the feeling of people, the feeling of being surrounded by people who are connected to this in different ways, whether it's something that they've experienced personally or through someone close to them. And you can kind of feel that shared understanding without anyone having to say anything about it. And I think that it takes something that can feel very isolating in your day to day life and places it in a context where you're reminded that it's not just yours, that yes, it feels so personal and it is so personal, but you don't have to feel like this is all on you. So I went up and spoke as part of this ceremony. I said a few words and shared my story. And I felt this kind of like weird internal shift because I feel like I'm not speaking from a place where I've made sense of everything or where there's like any kind of conclusion or that I can offer any kind of conclusion. Like I'm speaking from inside something that's still very much unfolding. And that's a different experience because you can't really like tie it up neatly. You can't decide what the takeaway is. Like it's hard for me to even like tell people what to do. For me, I think the important part is really just describing where you are and how you're feeling in it. And yeah, I definitely felt like a little guarded going in a little bit, like just kind of want to get this done with, even though it's such a beautiful thing. Hard for me to be in that head space. I really usually try to keep boundaries with my spirals in relation to fertility. I try to cope with it when I need to and face it when I need to and go on with the rest of my life when I need to. It's not something that's all consuming. So for this to infiltrate with work, even though obviously like I'm talking about it right now, and this is like considered work, but it just can be very personal and can be draining. My sister-in-law came with me, which just made a huge difference, like having someone that really knows me, having her energy there made such a difference, and who gets me without having to explain anything or tell my story, just made me feel like a lot more grounded and a lot less performative, which I need because I tend to feel the need to perform. Starbucks baristas know their communities. That's why every year, Starbucks baristas can nominate local nonprofits to receive grants, with more than 16,000 grants awarded to local organizations so far. So how Starbucks supports communities is led by people in those communities. Because at Starbucks, making an impact together is just the start. Learn more at starbucks.com/partners. I've started to notice that the way I've moved through everyday tasks, like all the little chores I usually rush through, actually ends up shaping how my whole day feels. I never thought doing laundry would be something that could settle my nervous system, but there's really something about opening the dryer and just loving the way everything smells and feels. That's fully because I started using laundry sauce. The packaging hooked me first, but it's the scent that really got me. It's not that generic clean smell that so many detergents have. Think Australian sandalwood, Italian bergamot, Egyptian rose. Right now, I'm obsessed with the Himalayan cashmere, but every single scent I've tried makes your clothes smell luxurious in a way that lingers. So even days later, you still catch it throughout the day. Beyond the scent, they actually perform. The pods are super concentrated with bioenzymes that break down stains and refresh fabrics, so your clothes don't just smell better, they look better too. I've noticed my piece is feeling softer, newer, and just more put together overall. These are hands down my favorite laundry pods I've ever used, and they are pre-measured, so no pouring, no guessing, and absolutely zero mess. Using Laundry Sauce is one of those small upgrades that makes your whole routine feel more elevated. For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code withwit at laundriesauce.com. That's 20% off your order at laundriesauce.com with promo code withwit. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. It's time to make Laundry Day the best day of the week. Okay, let's switch gears. Let's switch gears to getting here yesterday, because everyone loves a fun travel day, right? Timmy and Sunny dropped me off at the airport. Getting here yesterday was just like its own situation, because JFK right now is like all a mess. Getting a ride is such a situation. It's been like that for so long, and I'm like, can you get your shit together? Like, do Ubers pick you up now? Do they not? Do you have to take a shuttle to a garage? Like, where are the taxi cab lines? Are they inside? Are they outside? Like, should we trust the guys that are just coming up to us and asking us if we need a ride? Well, yesterday I did that. I did that. I was desperate. I didn't book a car, which is usually the easiest option. These days you can get cars for like the same price as Ubers. I didn't book a car. I didn't know how to get into the city. I went to go to the cab line. It was so insanely long. I realized that you could get an Uber at the regular place where you normally can. You didn't have to take a shuttle to get the Uber, but when I went to go get an Uber, it said 15 minutes. I know that's not super long, but it was kind of cold and I just wanted to get in. I was walking around in pacing and I saw this nice guy. He had a really nice face and he asked if anybody wanted to ride into the city. I said yes, and I said to him, honestly, if my dad were alive right now and he knew I did this, and honestly, because he's not alive, he probably does know that I did this because he can see everything, and he's probably cringing right now. But I fully just got in a car with a stranger, just did it. My sisters would die too. They think I'm reckless, you guys. I'm so reckless. But I did it. I did it and I just knew it was going to be fine. I just feel like everything is always just going to be fine. Is that a flaw? I just always feel like everything's going to work out the way that it's meant to work out, and I don't usually look back or have regrets. I think that's a good way to be. I got in the car with this guy. He got me back to my hotel safe and sound. I may even get a ride with him back to the airport on Wednesday. Why not? I immediately got in. I ordered, well, I ordered Katz's deli in the car on the way so that it would be here. I got a half sandwich, half soup combo, corned beef sandwich with split pea soup and fries. I wish I got a lean corned beef sandwich on challah not rye with a side of coleslaw and I wish that they had sweet and sour cabbage soup and with beef instead of split pea. But the split pea was so delicious, a little salty. And like the corned beef was a little too fatty, but still delicious. Had some of that and then was able to treat myself to a late night facial, which was one of the most amazing things ever. Like if you're going to go get a facial soon, do it at night if you can. I got there at around 830, fully fell asleep in the facial. You have to go to Seba Skin, S-E-B-A-S-K-I-N. Shawl is the best. She's in SoHo and it was just so relaxing. She dermaplane, got all the fuzz off. Look at my skin right now. I mean, there's also a ton of makeup on at the moment, but dermaplaning, I swear by, and I really don't like doing it myself. I really don't like. I feel like I always get those little scratch marks. So she did it and she also dermaplaned my neck for the first time, which felt nice. I just feel fully fuzz free and makeup goes on. The well and your moisturizers and all your serums soak into the skin better. Really, really highly recommend dermaplaning. I've been doing it for 20 years and I'll have to do my lip more often because that will grow back a little bit more, obviously. But other than that on my face, it's not like the hair grows back thicker or darker. It still grows back, but it looks like normal peach fuzz. So huge proponent of a dermaplane. But not like the tinkle. Like I actually use a medical scalpel from Amazon. I can link it below if you guys are interested. But honestly, try not to do it yourself. Try to find someone that does it and then we'll do like moisturizers and serums and oxygen and all the stuff to put that penetration back in. But she showed me everything that came off my face last night and it was disgusting. It was disgusting. I'm so happy it's gone. I will say like leaving yesterday was hard. Stuff with my mom has been more challenging and leaving Timmy and Sunny on a Sunday morning is hard. Pulling away always feels bigger than it actually is. Then I feel like as soon as I'm through security, I'm usually fine because I'm able to switch into that feeling of gratitude for what I'm about to do. And I also genuinely trust that everything at home is handled. Like I don't have that constant pull to check in with Timmy to make sure things are going a certain way. Like he knows the routine better than I do. And I'm also not one of those people to like text a list of questions or try to manage everything from afar. That's really, really not my style. We're fully, fully partners in everything. So it's not like I need to teach him anything or like he has to step in. It's just like doing a little bit more than what he already does. We just got off the phone a little while ago. I called to say hi. Like I didn't really have anything major to say. And it was very much in line with how we are. He mentioned that it was echoing and then he was a little distracted. And instead of what I would normally do, which was try to push the conversation, and I could just tell he wasn't into it, I wasn't really into it. I didn't really even have anything to say. And we just ended it and that felt normal. I said, I'll call you later. Don't worry, I'll call you later. And that was fine. And there's no weirdness. Really, I've come a long way. He's always been cool and chill when traveling. I'm usually the uptight one that needs the updates. But I have really relaxed. I've really relaxed into the lack of control over needing to know all his whereabouts. But honestly, besides when we were first dating and I was living long distance, we've never been the couple that's needed to chit chat on the phone when we're traveling. And that's just not necessarily what connection to us looks like, like we are so connected at home that we don't necessarily feel the need to be like as connected when we're traveling. And I think that that's healthy and healthy for both of us individually. And so that we're also like continually maintaining our own identity and not becoming completely dependent on each other. Like it's exciting and important to have new and different experiences with and without each other. On the flight, I watched two different things. I watched Is This Thing On with Mill Arnett and Laura Dern. And then I started to watch The Yogurt Shop Murders. I think that's what it's called. It was an HBO documentary series about four girls that got killed in a yogurt shop in Austin, Texas. But I didn't finish that. But I did finish Is This Thing On and I enjoyed it. I thought it was a little slow at times, but I really did enjoy it. I obviously love Smartless and love those guys. I mean, Jason Bateman is like, I don't want to say my hall pass because I don't have a hall pass. But if I were to have a type, that's who my type would be. I can't believe I just saw that. Anyways, that movie had nothing to do with him. Will Arnett, he was good. However, maybe because I'd listened to him on Smartless all the time, I couldn't get it out of my head that it was Will Arnett. He wasn't a different person to me. That's why it's hard for me when actors get so famous to watch them in movies. I'm like, but you're Leonardo DiCaprio. You're not this girl's dad. You're not. This is not you. You weren't on the Titanic. Well, no, he wasn't as famous back then. He was definitely Jack. But the movie still did make me think about something that feels very relevant, which is how the way that you communicate in small, everyday moments ends up shaping the overall feeling of a relationship over time. And Timmy and I usually both have a tendency to communicate things sometimes indirectly when something is bothering us, like whether it comes out as a joke or a comment, instead of just like saying it directly. And I think the other person can feel it, but doesn't always address it in that moment. And then those things don't disappear and they kind of sit there and they build up and they build resentment. And I think watching that, I had this awareness of how those small moments, the ones that seem like maybe insignificant at the time, are actually the ones that have the possibility to accumulate. And that relationships don't just maintain themselves. Like they require a level of attention that isn't dramatic, but it is consistent. And like Timmy knows those jokes that he does now sometimes can like really affect me. So we, he works on either toning them down a little bit slash like, I'm working on my confidence level and knowing how much he loves me and that if he needs to share something with me indirectly, because it's not that serious, but he wants to call me out for something like having a messy car and he's going to make a joke about it in front of people. Like I, I need to also not take it so freaking personally, you know? So it's just constantly being aware of that. I've also been thinking about this trip to Costa Rica for a friend's 40th birthday that I'm going to on Friday. I know like three of the 10 girls that are going, and I feel like I haven't been on this kind of a trip since a bachelorette. Not that it's going to be like party drinking, blah, blah, blah, but more just that it's like a whole group of one person's friends from her lifetime that I'm going to be with for five days. And I don't know, we're just like older and more set in our ways and like have our routines and we're all living in a house together. So it should be fun and interesting. Again, feeling two different feelings about it at the same time, like excited to have, have this getaway, but also just nervous for my social battery a little bit. Part of that also is leaving Timmy and Sunny again. Like when I am traveling for work, I feel more justified in taking those trips, but I feel like when I'm traveling for something frivolous, like it doesn't, it doesn't feel as good. Like the relaxing doesn't feel as guilt free. So as long as Timmy can give me the permission to enjoy myself without guilt, like I'll be good. Like it all relies on Timmy, just give me the permission and I'll be fine. The other part that stresses me out about leaving again is just the stuff with my mom. Like you guys know it takes constant care. It's not just something that pauses when I leave, like it still needs to happen. And I'm lucky to have four siblings, like I say a million times almost every single day. I'm like, thank fucking God for them. Like, thank God. I just don't know how people do it on their own. It is such a challenging thing that for us has taken so much teamwork. So I just don't want my family to also feel like I've abandoned them. I don't know. I guess what I'm realizing is like, there's no real way of reconciling those feelings. Like, it's not like I'm suddenly going to feel completely fine or guilt free or completely at ease with being away. I don't know. It's more that like I keep telling myself like both things can exist. It's just like it's getting exhausting saying the same thing to myself. But I'm trying to move forward with both of them present instead of just like waiting for one to cancel the other one out. Because I just don't think that's possible. Like I have to live two different parallel lives at the moment. I am now going to try to wind down. What am I going to do tonight? Andrea, my best friend, is possibly going to have a plus one for The Devil Wears Prada premiere tonight, but hasn't told me yet. And it's I don't know what time it is. It's four or five at this point. Like am I going? That's also one of the reasons why I haven't showered yet or taken off my makeup. Cause I'm like, am I going to The Devil Wears Prada premiere tonight? How cool would that be? Last time I was here, it just so happened that the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was happening too and I had no idea. I need to check in more so that I can make plans. But I need an excedrin and I need a Coke. And maybe I'll like walk around and go to a weed store or something. It's fucking 420, man. Let's like get stoned and just chillax or get stoned and go to The Devil Wears Prada premiere. That would be so fun. Another episode of just a lot of different things, my brain feeling very active and a lot of different feelings and thoughts at once. And I think that like these challenges and hardships are what make all the other sweet stuff so much sweeter. I know it's cheesy, but it's true. And I feel like I try to put things in buckets. Like there's work and there's family and then there's the ongoing fertility journey. And then there's just like the regular life things. And then there's mom. And instead of trying to organize it into something cohesive, I think I'm starting to understand that it really doesn't work like that. That it's more like you're moving between these different areas, sometimes smoothly, sometimes not. And you just figure out how to be present with where you are without needing everything else to feel resolved first. And I don't really think that that realization comes in some big, clear moment. Like, I'm learning that. It's more like something that you just start noticing in pieces. That's definitely how I felt. Like, I've just started to absorb stressful things as waves. And I realize that it's a wave that's about to crash, but that it's going to calm down. And I know that it always will. And that is what carries me through. And when you catch yourself in two places emotionally at once, I think it's important that you realize that there's nothing actually wrong with that. That is just how you feel. So, yeah, that's where I am, sitting in this quiet, gorgeous part of New York, feeling a little bit wired. I think I should meditate. A little bit tired. I haven't been sleeping well. Just been nervous about my mom and aware of a lot. But, yeah. Should we do like a little, what's in my travel bag while I have you guys? All right. Acetylopram, 15 milligrams a day. Tylenol, regular strength. I don't know why I don't have extra strength or why I don't have Excedrin. I usually always do. I have regular Tylenol and I have Tylenol PM for some reason, but like I never use Tylenol PM. I have this Remedy Super Fun Hand Lush. It's like squishy and fun to play with. Tampons. Oh, this You Beauty The Barrier Bio Active Mist. So good. So refreshing and mini. Tide pen. A must. A bunch of lip products. Let me see. There's a pen, a regular gel pen, but then so many lip products. Oh my God. Oh my God. So many lip oils. Lip liners, lip glosses, lipsticks. Oh, my favorite. Color Science SPF 50 Color Balm. It's a blush with SPF in it. This color is so good. It's just called blush. So good. Crest white strips. High Confectionary Matches. What else is fun? Some Lore perfume. This is Sublimity. This one's really good and fresh. This is my Revitalize Brow Gel. I actually got a new one. I can throw this one out. This bag needs to be cleaned out. Then an eyebrow pencil in case I need that. Hand sanitizer by Jemmy. Merit made me business cards with blotting papers in them. Look, they made me my own business cards. It's say Whitney Port-Rosenman and it says, Keep in touch. WPR, all things with intention. Isn't that nice? I'm going to let you guys go. There's also a brush in here for my brushes and stuff, but thank you, pre-usual, for hearing me out. I hope you had fun listening, and I hope that you have a really, really wonderful day, and I hope you had a super fun 420. Isn't it so fun that you don't get hung over from 420 funness? Okay. Peace in the streets, guys. Talk to you next week. Thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you loved this episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review. I'd love to hear what you think, and anything more or even less you'd want to hear about. Tune in every Tuesday for a new episode. If you want to know more about what I'm up to, you can find me on Instagram at WhitneyEvePort, my website, whitneyport.com, and my YouTube channel, WhitneyPort. Peace in the streets.

Speaker 1:
[32:10] Hi, I'm Elizabeth Endris, a wellness founder for nearly a decade. My passion for feeling really good and commitment to the deep inner work have led me here, where I'll be sharing all the modalities that have helped me and sitting down weekly for unfiltered conversations with healers, practitioners, founders and dear friends. I truly didn't believe emotions caused chronic symptoms until I started healing and realizing that my type A, highly sensitive personality was very much linked to my skin and gut issues, pelvic pain and more. If you were the sensitive one in the family growing up, the Wellness Process Podcast is for you. You can listen to the Wellness Process Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. I am so happy you're here.

Speaker 3:
[32:51] Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in the products or services referred to in this episode.