transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Previously on The Rewatcher, True Blood.

Speaker 2:
[00:05] I'm not sure if mans could just like drink your blood and not get a man cold.

Speaker 3:
[00:09] Yeah, that'd be sick.

Speaker 4:
[00:10] And like be a little bitch.

Speaker 2:
[00:11] Yeah, I would love that.

Speaker 4:
[00:13] I'd be like, here you go.

Speaker 3:
[00:14] Let's go, take it.

Speaker 5:
[00:16] First, ew, but ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, that is sexual harassment, and he doesn't have to take it. Hello from the other side.

Speaker 2:
[00:26] Come back, don't, don't drink. I was thinking, should I give up? I like one, Chasing Pavement.

Speaker 3:
[00:35] I liked Chasing Pavement the way he said that.

Speaker 2:
[00:40] I'm like, you guys didn't recognize that as Jason Sackhouse immediately.

Speaker 1:
[00:43] No, but because like titties are out, he has a mask on, he is looking... Boy, he snarfs out his fangs and she's all like, I want to touch your fang boner. And then she's like touching his fangs. She does with her eyes.

Speaker 5:
[01:01] She's like, character word drawn by Charlene Harris. I want to touch your fang boners.

Speaker 1:
[01:09] And you know what? I agree. Guys, I'm still fucking traumatized by the gross mustard lappers.

Speaker 2:
[01:17] Ew, that was so disgusting.

Speaker 1:
[01:19] So nasty. Straight to jail.

Speaker 3:
[01:22] Yeah, I think I've had enough with the orgies, I think.

Speaker 2:
[01:25] Oh my God, I know. At least we didn't, do we have orgies this week? I didn't feel like we had.

Speaker 3:
[01:31] There was still like a miniature one.

Speaker 1:
[01:34] There are miniature ones, like there's like some almost like near sexual assault, unfortunately.

Speaker 3:
[01:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was just some like naked people in a, in a yard.

Speaker 2:
[01:44] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[01:45] I'm just, I don't want, I'm good. I'm over it. I need the town to just get back to Montaunt.

Speaker 2:
[01:49] I do too. The only ones that I find funny though, I have to say are Arlene and Terry. Yeah, they are funny. Even when they're possessed, they crack me up.

Speaker 3:
[01:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[01:57] But I'm sad for the children.

Speaker 1:
[01:59] I know, I'm very sad for the children.

Speaker 2:
[02:00] Kobe and Lisa.

Speaker 1:
[02:01] Kobe and Lisa forever.

Speaker 2:
[02:04] I'm sad for the teacup humans.

Speaker 3:
[02:05] Because teacups are just miniature humans.

Speaker 1:
[02:08] They're so stinking cute too.

Speaker 2:
[02:10] Guys, I'm gonna read this today because Alaina needs a break.

Speaker 3:
[02:15] I just need, I need a voice rest. I have a lot of recording.

Speaker 2:
[02:18] If you guys listen to Giggly Squad, sorry, she's on voice rest.

Speaker 3:
[02:24] What else, guys?

Speaker 1:
[02:28] I am just living for this next episode. I feel like this was a bit of a placeholder. I think it wasn't bad. No, it's just not as good as the rest of it because it was a lot of setting up.

Speaker 2:
[02:44] I think I liked this episode better than the book. Did you? I don't know how you felt about it, Alaina.

Speaker 3:
[02:49] I thought it was all right. I thought it was good. I liked it. It wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't bad by any stretch.

Speaker 2:
[02:56] Yeah. I feel like there's never a slow episode, which I very much appreciate.

Speaker 3:
[03:00] There's always shit happening.

Speaker 2:
[03:01] With Buffy, there was some filler episodes for sure.

Speaker 3:
[03:03] Later in the seasons.

Speaker 2:
[03:05] Later in the seasons, yeah. But I really like, I just love True Blood. I can't believe we're already almost done with season two.

Speaker 1:
[03:11] I know.

Speaker 2:
[03:11] I get to write the finale. Yeah, you do. I feel so blessed.

Speaker 3:
[03:16] We got to start getting people on the show.

Speaker 2:
[03:18] Jesus Christ. If you're on True Blood and you were in the past, hit us up.

Speaker 3:
[03:22] Yeah, be on our show.

Speaker 2:
[03:25] Anybody got to connect to anybody on True Blood?

Speaker 3:
[03:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[03:28] Can I get a connect?

Speaker 1:
[03:29] We'll take anybody at this point. We'll take that fly, that little CGI fly. We can have him come on here and can buzz buzz at us.

Speaker 4:
[03:39] From the Morphin Network, who are you?

Speaker 3:
[03:41] I'm Alaina.

Speaker 2:
[03:42] I'm Ash.

Speaker 1:
[03:43] And I'm Mikie.

Speaker 3:
[03:44] And this is The Rewatcher, True Blood.

Speaker 2:
[03:47] This is Season 2, Episode 11. Frenzy. So, we start right back where we left off, with Bill looking awkwardly as blood drips down a woman's foot. He asks if this is a bad time as the shot flashes back to the queen, Sophie-Ann, and she's feeding on the thigh of a woman who looks just like Mary-Ann from Gilligan's Island.

Speaker 3:
[05:10] Yeah, she does.

Speaker 1:
[05:11] Truly.

Speaker 2:
[05:11] Yeah. Sophie-Ann is like, Oh my God, no, not a bad time at all. Do you want to join me, honey? I know.

Speaker 1:
[05:18] Her teeth are so fucking big, too.

Speaker 3:
[05:21] She, it's Evan Rachel Wood.

Speaker 2:
[05:23] Queen, literally. He's the queen.

Speaker 1:
[05:25] A hundred percent.

Speaker 5:
[05:25] He is stunning.

Speaker 3:
[05:28] Perfection.

Speaker 2:
[05:30] Gorgeous.

Speaker 3:
[05:31] Like the end, period.

Speaker 2:
[05:33] I love her.

Speaker 3:
[05:33] Yeah. Perfection. Yeah. Everything.

Speaker 2:
[05:36] Bill, I don't know if he agrees because he looks mildly horrified. Yeah. Then we get our intro. We went different places.

Speaker 3:
[05:49] I like it.

Speaker 2:
[05:50] All right. Well, now we're all going to join back together at the Compton Residence where we should be, where we should be. Hoyt looks horrified though at the sight of Jessica just chomp, chomp, chomp in Mrs. Fortenberry's neck.

Speaker 3:
[06:00] Girl, get over it.

Speaker 2:
[06:01] Has she lost her damn mind? Jessica's like, did you hear what this bitch said about you and about me? Hoyt says, that's my mama. She gets to.

Speaker 1:
[06:11] I would literally kick him in the balls.

Speaker 3:
[06:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:14] Here's the thing, Hoyty, Miktoidy. Your mama can say whatever the fuck she wants about you, I guess, now since you've disowned me. She can't say shit about me.

Speaker 1:
[06:22] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[06:22] To say she's my mama, she gets to. What the fuck, Hoyt?

Speaker 4:
[06:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:28] He lost me.

Speaker 4:
[06:29] Like, true.

Speaker 3:
[06:29] I was like, ew.

Speaker 2:
[06:30] Yeah. I was not into that. No. He immediately asks if mean old Maxine is okay, and man oh man is she. She is all horned up.

Speaker 3:
[06:39] She loved that shit.

Speaker 2:
[06:41] Hoyt gets her up and ushers her to the front door. Like, what is wrong with Jessica?

Speaker 3:
[06:45] I know.

Speaker 2:
[06:46] I can't. She's horrified at what is happening right now.

Speaker 4:
[06:50] Hoyt looks at her gravely and says, Yeah, I should have listened to vampire bed when it warned me about you.

Speaker 6:
[06:57] Come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 5:
[06:58] Oh, do we have to?

Speaker 3:
[07:01] I think I actually enjoyed that.

Speaker 2:
[07:04] They did. Leaving Jessica, very distraught. She literally just like screams at the door. I think sadly.

Speaker 3:
[07:11] Yeah. I would scream. Oh, she's devastated.

Speaker 2:
[07:14] Angrily.

Speaker 3:
[07:15] Well, and I think it's a mix, to be honest. But it also is really sad because when you see what she says to Hoyt later and how she like Maxine and how mean she is, it's so sad because you're like, oh, fuck, like he's just like beaten down.

Speaker 2:
[07:31] He very much is.

Speaker 3:
[07:32] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[07:33] I mean, like we've said before, I think that, you know, Terry, obviously he showed who he is deep down inside. He showed that he has like, like he's a soldier, that he loves Arlene. Mean old Maxine shows that she's an evil mean bitch who will sit there and she will say whatever she fucking needs to in order to provoke you into making yourself like, like, I'm sorry, there's only so much abuse a person can take before this type of shit would happen.

Speaker 2:
[08:01] Maxine has a personality disorder for sure.

Speaker 3:
[08:04] Well, she's telling him, I don't like that I had to get saddled taking care of you.

Speaker 1:
[08:08] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:08] Even though it was my choice to bring you into this world.

Speaker 3:
[08:10] I'm literally his mother, so, like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2:
[08:13] What was he supposed to do?

Speaker 3:
[08:14] And that she feels she, like, missed out on some kind of life because she had to take care of him. And I'm like, you're a mean bitch.

Speaker 2:
[08:19] Yeah, she's a piece of shit.

Speaker 3:
[08:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:21] So back at the Queen's house, Sophie hates that Bill doesn't want any of Mary Ann from Gilligan Island's femoral blood. That's really rude.

Speaker 3:
[08:28] It is.

Speaker 7:
[08:28] She looks at him with disgust, and she says, You know what your problem is, William?

Speaker 5:
[08:33] You are a snob.

Speaker 7:
[08:36] I hate snobs. Tiny, tiny souls or penises or both.

Speaker 1:
[08:42] Hey, I'm shipping them all red.

Speaker 3:
[08:44] Immediately, I was like, Queen shit.

Speaker 1:
[08:46] I know.

Speaker 3:
[08:46] Queen shit right there.

Speaker 2:
[08:47] It is. She's like a nonna. She really wants him to eat, but he's not into it at all.

Speaker 3:
[08:52] She's like, Come on, eat up. She's like, Come on, John.

Speaker 2:
[08:54] Exactly. He is just not here. He's here for intel, actually, not to eat.

Speaker 3:
[09:00] He needs to know how the fuck to kill a main ad, which I feel like the big question on everyone's mind, how the fuck do we stop a main ad?

Speaker 2:
[09:09] That's the rub. It's so funny because the queen is like, a main ad? She literally goes, that's so random.

Speaker 3:
[09:15] I love that. She's like, What the fuck?

Speaker 2:
[09:17] That's random as hell. Bill's like, I know, right? Even worse, this main ad has the whole damn town under some weird sexist hypnosis and the whole place has devolved into a primitive state in a matter of a few days.

Speaker 1:
[09:29] Because honestly, it was just in this space of time that they went to Dallas.

Speaker 3:
[09:33] It feels like this has been like two weeks.

Speaker 1:
[09:34] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:35] I know it really does because it's been almost the whole season. Yeah. Well, Queen Sophie is impressed almost. She says, shoot, that bitch must be old. Have there been orgies, sacrifices, cannibalism? And Bill's like, yeah, I think so, actually. Sophie thinks that shit is delightful. And she's like, cool, that's awesome. Goes back to reading her magazine.

Speaker 1:
[09:56] She is such a fucking, like she is a brat. She's just a brat.

Speaker 2:
[10:00] Like you said, she's having a brat summer.

Speaker 1:
[10:01] She's having a brat queen summer, a hundred percent.

Speaker 3:
[10:04] In her newly renovated day room.

Speaker 1:
[10:06] It's true.

Speaker 3:
[10:07] That's just, which I was like, good for you.

Speaker 2:
[10:09] Didn't it kind of remind you of Guillermo del Toro?

Speaker 3:
[10:12] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[10:13] Because he has the rain room.

Speaker 3:
[10:13] He has the rain room, but the vampires have a day room.

Speaker 2:
[10:15] If I was a vampire, I would totally have a day room.

Speaker 1:
[10:18] I know, and like, you can hear the ocean. Like, it's just like-

Speaker 3:
[10:20] It looks like it's at the beach.

Speaker 2:
[10:21] Yeah. It's nice.

Speaker 3:
[10:22] But it's the middle of the night.

Speaker 2:
[10:23] Yeah. I feel like that would kind of fuck me up a little bit.

Speaker 3:
[10:25] I hate that, but good for her.

Speaker 2:
[10:27] Well, Bill doesn't want to be there either, and he just awkwardly asks how to kill this thing. But Sophie-Ann has some sad news for him. You can't. They've convinced themselves that they're immortal, so they are now. I'm going to do that.

Speaker 3:
[10:39] I'm going to convince myself I'm immortal.

Speaker 2:
[10:41] I am immortal. Yeah. Bill looks like the Confusion meme though, with mathematical equations floating around his head, and Sophie looks at him like he is a goose that is silly. William, you know that everything that exists dreamed itself into existence, but it still doesn't compute.

Speaker 1:
[10:57] No, because he's like God and mercy and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 3:
[11:01] Come on.

Speaker 1:
[11:02] He doesn't know about this metaphysical stuff.

Speaker 3:
[11:04] Bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[11:05] He does not. And Sophie-Ann says, Think about it.

Speaker 7:
[11:09] You're a wild young girl who's married to some jerk who treats you like property, and is also fucking some 14-year-old boy. Along comes this religion, which encourages you to get hammered, run naked through the woods, have sex with whoever, whatever. And it's all part of getting closer to God.

Speaker 2:
[11:27] Damn.

Speaker 3:
[11:29] I love that she's like, think about it. I'm like, I'd rather not.

Speaker 2:
[11:31] I'd rather not think about it.

Speaker 3:
[11:33] I don't love what you just described to me.

Speaker 2:
[11:35] That wasn't the prettiest picture you've ever painted.

Speaker 1:
[11:37] Oh, no. Unlike Charlene Harris, who can write a beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, large word picture, that was not one that I was subscribed to.

Speaker 2:
[11:47] It was not one of them.

Speaker 3:
[11:48] I said, think about it. I said, I'd rather not. Do I have a choice?

Speaker 2:
[11:52] I'm not gonna.

Speaker 3:
[11:53] Can I opt out?

Speaker 2:
[11:55] Can I unsubscribe? Now, unlike us, Bill did look at this picture, and he can admit that he could see why that would appeal to people. Sophie's like, right? So you're fucking everybody in the dirt already. Why not kill them? Eat them raw? The more fucked up you are, the more pious you are. She's getting into this storytelling. Oh, yeah. But Bill is so confused. Is that not delusional? And Sophie-Ann's like, I don't know. Never underestimate the power of blind faith, Bill. It can manifest in ways that blend the laws of physics or break them entirely.

Speaker 3:
[12:23] That is 100 percent correct.

Speaker 1:
[12:25] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[12:25] Then she just puts an L up on her forehead and is like, get out of here.

Speaker 1:
[12:28] I know.

Speaker 2:
[12:29] Doesn't she have that energy?

Speaker 1:
[12:31] 100 percent.

Speaker 2:
[12:32] Well, she just doesn't want him to get out. But he has more questions. Why did Mary Ann's blood poison him? That's pretty weird, huh? She's like, no, evolution, my dear Billiom. Vampires started as humans too. As she looks at the time, two hours until dawn, and she smiles, and she's like, hey, you want to fuck? He looks objectively terrified, but she rolls her eyes. She hasn't had sex with men since the Eisenhower admin. I was fucking kidding. She's like, take a joke, loser. He gets up to dip, but she's like, no, no, no, no. You do have to spend the day here. Sookie's not in mortal danger. Come on, hang out a little while. He tries to protest, but she diverts the conversation to her day room, the new one that we were talking about, equipped with stage-lit, sunny beach scenes and soundscaping. Bill's like, I don't know what to do here because I can't say no to the Queen, but also there's a lot going on.

Speaker 3:
[13:23] My girlfriend's going to be mad at me.

Speaker 2:
[13:25] Now, at Lafayette's abode, Sookie tries to talk Tara down. She's like, girl, get some sleep, stop pacing. But Tara is heart sick. They have to save eggs, damn it. This was when I was, she's so intense about this. I'm like, you are dating a grown man named Eggs. At that point in time, I would be like, you know what? I think it's all right. Yeah, I think I'll meet somebody named like True. Yeah. Toast, toast. Like with a little more of a serious name that you can fall in love with. Now, Sookie assures her that they will, they will save eggs, but they just need to hear back from Beal first. He might have info that will help them figure out how to deal with the Marianne problem. But Tara does not give a fuck. Eggs needs to get out, and he needs to get out now. And Sookie's like, no, that's way too dangerous, but Tara's not hearing anybody. She finally found a strong, booty built, beautiful man that loves her. And Lafayette is like, hey, a reminder, he also beats the shit out of you, girly pop. Yeah, I'm not letting you go back.

Speaker 3:
[14:23] I'm glad Lafayette's like, I'm not letting that go.

Speaker 1:
[14:25] I love that he does not hold back. And like, I think that also she didn't necessarily think that he would say that shit in front of Lettie Mae.

Speaker 3:
[14:33] But he's like, fuck you.

Speaker 2:
[14:34] It's the truth, yeah, truth bombing. Well, and even Lettie Mae is like, what? She's like, that's my job. No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 3:
[14:40] Oh, man.

Speaker 2:
[14:41] Now, to keep her ass in the house, Lafayette takes out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and he slaps those on her wrist.

Speaker 1:
[14:46] Very unpretentious.

Speaker 2:
[14:47] He handcuffs her to the table. She is pissed. And she says, I will never forgive you for this.

Speaker 6:
[14:52] Never. You're just jealous, sir, because I found love.

Speaker 7:
[14:56] And you know you never will, you fucking freak.

Speaker 1:
[14:58] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[14:59] Now, this is where I start to get pissed off with Tara because you're not possessed anymore. So stop fucking acting like it. That's the thing.

Speaker 1:
[15:05] Here's the thing, though. She's addicted to chaos at this point. And I think that that's what's reading through. And that's why she's so desperate to get back there.

Speaker 2:
[15:13] I'm still mad.

Speaker 1:
[15:15] No, I completely agree. But like, she's definitely addicted to this fucked up shit.

Speaker 3:
[15:19] I don't know if that makes sense. And she says a bunch of other mean shit.

Speaker 1:
[15:22] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[15:22] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[15:23] She says something to Sookie about like, sorry that the only man you can be with is a dead man.

Speaker 3:
[15:27] My man's alive. Yeah, you had to settle for a dead man because no one else would have you, essentially.

Speaker 2:
[15:30] Almost like, babe, we haven't found out if your man is technically alive yet.

Speaker 3:
[15:33] I was like, girl, I don't know about your man.

Speaker 2:
[15:34] I'm not sure about your man. He doesn't look alive this episode. So now Lettie Mae attempts to talk her down, though, saying this is for her own good. But Tara, like we just said, lashes out at everybody. She's like, you settled for a dead man, Sookie. And Sookie's like, are you okay? Like, is that supposed to get me onto your side?

Speaker 3:
[15:51] I love that she was like, what's the plan here?

Speaker 1:
[15:53] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[15:55] So Lafayette and Sookie step out front to get the hell away from her and they take Lafayette's gun to protect property from any people, like crazy people. Now at Merlotz, not just any people, just crazy people.

Speaker 3:
[16:06] Not just out here shooting people.

Speaker 2:
[16:07] I was like, let's be clear.

Speaker 1:
[16:09] Sam and Colby and Lisa, you are marked.

Speaker 2:
[16:13] Now at Merlotz, Jason is still super fucked up by the fact that Sam became a fricking animal. That shit's cool as fuck. And he's like, cool, yeah, awesome. But we do have a fricking Maynard to deal with before she takes out the whole fricking hound.

Speaker 3:
[16:29] I'd like to also say that I regret that I went to bat for Jason last episode.

Speaker 1:
[16:35] And we'll find out why as this episode goes on. Because I definitely was like, yeah, I take it all back.

Speaker 3:
[16:42] Yeah, I said I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. How dare you?

Speaker 2:
[16:47] Growth isn't always linear.

Speaker 1:
[16:48] No, it's very true.

Speaker 3:
[16:50] Not with Jason Stackhouse.

Speaker 2:
[16:51] Yeah, it's more like a roller coaster. Now Sam thinks that they should all leave while they still can. But Jason wonders if they're going to get the law involved. And Andy's like, hello, I guess I'll go fuck myself. I am the law. Besides, Blood and the rest are possessed too. They're not doing shit. And Jason says, they need to be the law then. They need weapons. Sam is horrified. He's like, dude, you got to calm down. These are our friends and cousins and family. We can't just go shooting everybody.

Speaker 6:
[17:16] And Jason says, sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.

Speaker 2:
[17:25] He's like this administration. He can't be short.

Speaker 3:
[17:26] I was just going to say, honestly, that sentence that he just said right now, I said, so that's today.

Speaker 2:
[17:34] That's a headline that we all wake up to.

Speaker 3:
[17:36] So many people just shout that kind of nonsense.

Speaker 2:
[17:39] Now, before Sam can answer, he hears a child's voice and he sees Lisa and Chloe run from the window into the woods. They were like peering in.

Speaker 1:
[17:46] I know. And they're all like dirt smudged.

Speaker 2:
[17:49] They've been neglected and they're looking for their mama. So he chases and calls out to them saying, he'll feed them and he'll help them hide from their mama because she's scary right now.

Speaker 3:
[17:58] Because she's scary right now.

Speaker 2:
[17:59] She's a little bit. He brings them back to the bar as Jason and Andy are fixing to go to the sheriff's office to arm themselves. Sam thinks that they're both stupid as fuck. They do need to think this through. But Jason says, the time for thinking is over. I wonder when it was his time to start. He says, it's time for action.

Speaker 1:
[18:18] He's so fucking stupid.

Speaker 2:
[18:20] Yes. Now Andy starts to wilt though. Maybe Sam is right, but Jason puffs out his chest and he starts tootin his own horn. Have they been to the leadership conference? Have they had four days of paramilitary training?

Speaker 3:
[18:36] Oh my god, four days of paramilitary training.

Speaker 1:
[18:39] Honestly, calm the fuck down. He acts like he was in actual boot camp.

Speaker 3:
[18:43] He was like overseas, like in the military, like, no, no, no, babe. You went to a Bible camp.

Speaker 2:
[18:50] And how did that work out for you, babe? They tried to kill you and your sister.

Speaker 3:
[18:53] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[18:53] And you want to take what you learned there?

Speaker 3:
[18:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[18:56] Make that make sense.

Speaker 3:
[18:57] Immediately, I was like, god, Jason, I fucking, I rode for you last episode.

Speaker 2:
[19:02] I know, what a tough sentence.

Speaker 3:
[19:03] It really was.

Speaker 2:
[19:04] We and Sam have heard enough. He tells them both that they're fools and he just storms inside to take care of the kids. Now, back at Lafayette's, Sookie gets an old text from Bill. It just came through and it says he can't come back until tomorrow. Lafayette's super bummed. Inside, Tara is begging Lettie Mae, just trying every method that she can think of to get her to take off those handcuffs.

Speaker 3:
[19:24] They never should have left her alone with Lettie Mae.

Speaker 1:
[19:27] They never should have left her.

Speaker 3:
[19:28] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[19:29] Just leave her by herself.

Speaker 3:
[19:30] Yeah, they should not leave Lettie Mae.

Speaker 1:
[19:32] Have somebody go in there and check on her every couple of minutes.

Speaker 3:
[19:35] Because Lettie Mae is so susceptible right now. Because she's so desperate to fix a lifetime of hurt that she has caused.

Speaker 2:
[19:44] And she's so newly sober.

Speaker 3:
[19:45] And she's so newly clear and sober that she is so easily manipulated right now by her. Because she just wants to right a lifetime of wrongs. And if she's given any chance to, she thinks she will.

Speaker 2:
[19:57] And there's all that. But honestly, even if there wasn't all that, that's her baby.

Speaker 3:
[20:01] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[20:01] You know what I mean? Like she might still bend.

Speaker 3:
[20:03] When your kid is begging you, like, please.

Speaker 8:
[20:05] Yeah. No.

Speaker 3:
[20:05] Like, I'll never forgive you for this. I don't. How do you?

Speaker 2:
[20:08] That's tough.

Speaker 3:
[20:09] How can you? And she shouldn't have to.

Speaker 2:
[20:11] No.

Speaker 3:
[20:11] Sit there and try to handle that. I don't know what they were thinking.

Speaker 2:
[20:14] I think, I got to say, I think Sookie probably should have stayed inside.

Speaker 3:
[20:17] Yeah. Sookie has a little more like, she knows Tara. She knows Tara in a way that Lettie Mae doesn't know Tara. Absolutely. They grew up together. So it's like she knows how to handle her in a way Lettie Mae doesn't.

Speaker 2:
[20:30] I think she just couldn't handle her in that moment, which I do have to give her, because I'm not good in those situations when people are being assholes. I just want to clock you. I want to clock you. So back outside Lafayette wonders what it was like being in Tara's head, and Sookie tells him.

Speaker 9:
[20:45] Like there was no limit. Like anything could happen, and it probably will. You can feel your insides expanding, but there's also this emptying out of everything right at the very center of your being, and you don't want that to ever stop. Ever.

Speaker 8:
[21:14] Damn, they sound nice.

Speaker 2:
[21:15] That sounds fucking terrible.

Speaker 3:
[21:17] That really does.

Speaker 1:
[21:18] Objectively awful.

Speaker 3:
[21:19] That's horrifying.

Speaker 10:
[21:20] Clearly Lafayette is still in a bad place because that sounds rank.

Speaker 11:
[21:25] That's hell, babe.

Speaker 2:
[21:43] At Merlot's, though, Sam is doing his best to calm poor Colby and Lisa.

Speaker 1:
[21:46] I know, he's like, he has dada vibes.

Speaker 4:
[21:48] He totally does.

Speaker 3:
[21:49] This dad energy, I was like, I'm here for Sam's dad energy.

Speaker 2:
[21:52] He has like stepdad vibes, though, where they're like, not quite sure what to say, but they're trying.

Speaker 3:
[21:56] They're trying really hard.

Speaker 2:
[21:58] And their mom is going to be okay, he says. She's just sick. Has she been sick around you guys?

Speaker 1:
[22:03] He's like, worried what these poor little children saw.

Speaker 2:
[22:06] Yeah, Colby's like, my mom's ass is crazy. And Sam tries to explain it away. Everybody gets a little crazy every now and again. But Lisa, and this is so gross, says that mama started kissing up on Terry and doing other gross stuff when their eyes got weird.

Speaker 3:
[22:21] And I was like, what did they do in front of you? I don't want to know. What the fuck?

Speaker 2:
[22:25] I don't want to know.

Speaker 3:
[22:25] I don't want to know.

Speaker 2:
[22:26] But they're like, is there a way that our mama can get fixed? Maybe a vampire could help? And Sam says, Bill's in Dallas, but maybe there is somebody else who can help. Now back at Lafayette's, Sookie notes that Lafayette is all healed up. How did that happen?

Speaker 8:
[22:42] And Lafayette confirms, Eric made me drink his motherfucking blood is how that happened.

Speaker 9:
[22:48] Me too. He tricked me.

Speaker 8:
[22:49] Somebody need to slap that bitch.

Speaker 9:
[22:51] I have.

Speaker 8:
[22:53] Look at you.

Speaker 2:
[22:54] I love this bonding. I love it. Look at you.

Speaker 8:
[22:56] I love, I have.

Speaker 2:
[22:57] I have. Now Sookie's like, hey, while we're on this topic, have you had any dreams about Eric? And Lafayette is like, oh hell yeah baby.

Speaker 3:
[23:08] He said, ooh, ooh.

Speaker 2:
[23:10] I don't know if I can talk about those right now. It's all kinds of nasty and fantastic. And that freaks me out because I hate him a lot. Sookie's like, yes, I know. But Lettie Mae interrupts this moment by coming outside crying. And she's like, you guys need to go in there and deal with Tara. And Lafayette is like, if I give you the gun, are you going to shoot yourself? Because I can't handle that right now.

Speaker 3:
[23:33] I can't have one more thing.

Speaker 2:
[23:35] Lettie Mae is like, how dare you? I taught you how to use a gun.

Speaker 3:
[23:39] How dare you?

Speaker 2:
[23:39] Solid point. So he hands it over. But she immediately points the gun at him and yells into Tara, saying, the coast is clear. She's got the gun. This was all a setup. Sookie looks horrified. She could not believe that Lettie Mae is doing this.

Speaker 5:
[23:54] It's so stupid.

Speaker 1:
[23:55] Like, you are putting your daughter in danger again.

Speaker 2:
[23:59] She just she did not think this through whatsoever. And she tells them to unlock Tara. And she even gives a warning shot, which ruins Lafayette because remember, he has PTSD. He was shot.

Speaker 3:
[24:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[24:11] So Sookie asked for the keys because she's like, let's just do what she's demanding. But Lafayette just literally cannot move.

Speaker 3:
[24:18] He's frozen.

Speaker 1:
[24:19] His PTSD is like so and he acts it so fucking well.

Speaker 3:
[24:24] He really does.

Speaker 2:
[24:25] He does. And Sookie goes in to unlock Tara and Lettie Mae starts to tell Lafayette that she pities him and he flinches. And we see through his eyes that she is now fully Eric, but still wearing Lettie Mae's clothing.

Speaker 1:
[24:38] Girl, he looked good.

Speaker 3:
[24:40] He did.

Speaker 1:
[24:40] He looked fantastic.

Speaker 2:
[24:41] It's wild because like you have to close your eyes to really tell yourself how awful this scene is because when you open them, you're not hearing anything that's happening.

Speaker 3:
[24:51] You're just seeing Alexander Skarsgård wearing a house dress.

Speaker 4:
[24:54] It's silly goofy.

Speaker 1:
[24:56] It is silly goofiness.

Speaker 2:
[24:58] But then when you listen to the words, it's awful because Eric Lettie is saying, I don't hate you like your mama does.

Speaker 11:
[25:06] You can't help what you are.

Speaker 9:
[25:11] But I cannot let you keep me in tear apart.

Speaker 12:
[25:16] That's why I'm going to have to kill you.

Speaker 6:
[25:19] Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 12:
[25:21] I thought you wanted to be a vampire. Being a vampire isn't like that. Times a million.

Speaker 2:
[25:51] That's scary.

Speaker 1:
[25:52] I know.

Speaker 2:
[25:53] But not. It got real scary.

Speaker 1:
[25:54] It got real, real.

Speaker 3:
[25:55] When he gets close up, that's when it gets scary because you can't see the outfit anymore.

Speaker 2:
[25:59] Well, and also in my head, I was like, is Lettie Mae saying some of this? And is she going to shoot him? Like, what the is going on? But luckily, you slash, unluckily, Tara rushes outside and steals Sookie's car and zooms away.

Speaker 3:
[26:12] Well, this also is a perfect example of how Lettie Mae does not know how to be a mother. Because she thinks she's doing what a mother should do, which is like, she needs to be with her person, and I'm doing this for her. But Lettie Mae does not know how to be selfless. She is selfish at her core. This was done to get Tara to forgive her. It was not done to protect Tara, because sometimes as a parent, you have to do the hard thing to protect your child. They don't know. Even as an adult, sometimes they don't know. So it's like she needed to stay strong and sit there and say, I want to let you go because I want you to forgive me. And you're sitting here spitting and snarling at me and telling me you're never going to forgive me. Well, if that's the case, then I know I've done right by you. No, it's such a good point. She can't do it.

Speaker 1:
[27:03] She can't.

Speaker 3:
[27:04] It just shows you that she doesn't have it. No, she didn't have it.

Speaker 1:
[27:07] She never did.

Speaker 2:
[27:07] It's so clear here too, like who actually does get Tara, because Lettie Mae is doing everything you just said. But and she asked Sookie for the car. She doesn't quite steal it. So Sookie tosses her the keys and she's like, you're a fucking idiot.

Speaker 3:
[27:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[27:20] And Sookie's outright telling her, you're stupid and you shouldn't be doing this. Whereas Lettie Mae is just making the path for her.

Speaker 3:
[27:26] Yeah, exactly. And Sookie only did that because Lettie Mae is still holding the gun.

Speaker 2:
[27:30] Right. She had to.

Speaker 3:
[27:32] She wouldn't have. I think she would have been like, nope.

Speaker 4:
[27:34] Exactly.

Speaker 3:
[27:35] Lafayette and Sookie are more of a parent figure to her than her own mother.

Speaker 4:
[27:39] And they get her more.

Speaker 7:
[27:41] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:41] And that's why she relies on them.

Speaker 3:
[27:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:43] That literally. But like also because of that, like Tara knew exactly like the the addict in her knew exactly what to appeal to in order to get what she wanted.

Speaker 3:
[27:53] She knew that she would eventually crack. Yeah. And it's also because like Lettie Mae is not a good mom. No, obviously never was. Now she wants to still isn't. But she wants to be. She just doesn't know how and doesn't know what that is. She did exactly what someone who has no fucking clue how to be a mother would do. Yeah. It's crazy. It was such a good scene.

Speaker 2:
[28:14] With the way that Lettie Mae is too, it's like you have to wonder how she was raised and is this whole thing a cycle, you know?

Speaker 3:
[28:19] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:
[28:20] Now Jason and Andy get to the police station, but Rosie the Dispatcher is horny. She starts getting all up on Jason.

Speaker 1:
[28:29] She's like begging him to perform a solo on his skin flute. She just wants to like sit there and pipe on his piccolo. Like she wants to go crazy on it.

Speaker 2:
[28:38] I didn't kill you for that. That's diabolical. That was crazy.

Speaker 4:
[28:42] You should be at the police station.

Speaker 2:
[28:46] Jason says that he's going to keep her busy while Andy goes and raids the armory, which I'm like, really, Jason?

Speaker 3:
[28:51] Again, I was like, God, Jason, I just left the bathroom.

Speaker 2:
[28:55] Also, she's going to bite your dick off.

Speaker 12:
[28:56] Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 2:
[28:58] Unfortunately for Andy, though, but very fortunately for us, Bud bursts into the room and he's do-si-do and Andy aggressively just swinging him around like he's Rose from the Titanic.

Speaker 1:
[29:12] It is hilarious to watch.

Speaker 3:
[29:13] He's just wearing his white undershorts. I know. He's so happy to be line dancing right now.

Speaker 2:
[29:20] Because remember, he won the trophy.

Speaker 5:
[29:21] He won the trophy.

Speaker 3:
[29:22] I see why now.

Speaker 1:
[29:23] Yeah, and he's like, make a bridge and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 5:
[29:26] I'm like, what is happening right now?

Speaker 2:
[29:28] Remember when you had to randomly take square dancing in gym class? Wasn't it so reminiscent of this?

Speaker 3:
[29:33] It was so weird.

Speaker 2:
[29:34] You didn't have to do that?

Speaker 1:
[29:36] No, I remember doing it. Why did we do that?

Speaker 3:
[29:39] As part of our curriculum, we had to do line dancing. I was like, this child lived in the north.

Speaker 2:
[29:43] What am I doing?

Speaker 3:
[29:44] Yeah, I never understood that.

Speaker 1:
[29:46] No.

Speaker 2:
[29:46] It was weird, but it was very reminiscent of this.

Speaker 3:
[29:48] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[29:49] Andy breaks free of, we couldn't, but Bud runs away cackling that he needs to take a dump.

Speaker 1:
[29:56] I'm like, wow, charming.

Speaker 2:
[29:58] He's like a three-year-old. He's like, I'm going to go poop.

Speaker 3:
[30:00] So enchanting, Bud.

Speaker 2:
[30:02] Back at Lafayette's again though, Lettie Mae is wondering why Lafayette's shaking. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 3:
[30:08] There's another part of her motherhood right there. She's like, what the is wrong with you? I'm like, this man is laying on the ground shaking, invisibly upset, and your reaction isn't like, oh my God, let me come for you. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 1:
[30:19] I'm like, oh. He's doing that as she is actively pointing a gun to his head.

Speaker 3:
[30:25] What do you think is wrong with me?

Speaker 5:
[30:27] You have a shotgun.

Speaker 2:
[30:28] Yeah. Sookie's appalled. She's like, he's traumatized, you dumb whore. Lettie Mae is like, here's Lettie Mae.

Speaker 5:
[30:35] Well, I am too.

Speaker 3:
[30:37] See the selfishness.

Speaker 1:
[30:38] Selfishness is ridiculous. She's just sending out invitations to her poody party, but nobody's willing to RSVP for the shit.

Speaker 3:
[30:48] I will feel for Lettie Mae at times.

Speaker 1:
[30:50] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[30:50] When you're like, she's trying and I can tell that she wants to, but I can also acknowledge that she doesn't have it in her.

Speaker 1:
[30:56] No, because-

Speaker 3:
[30:57] Not that we've seen yet.

Speaker 1:
[30:58] The only thing that she was trying was trying to absolve herself from guilt instead of doing what was right for the situation. That extended further than her because it impacts everybody else.

Speaker 3:
[31:10] Exactly.

Speaker 1:
[31:11] She's literally holding somebody at gunpoint right now because of this.

Speaker 3:
[31:14] Just to try. Even when Tara runs away into the car, she's like, you remember that I did this, you remember. It's her being like, remember, you have to forgive me. I did this for you and it's like, you didn't do that for her, babe. You did it for you. Admit it.

Speaker 2:
[31:29] Let me tell you, as somebody with a very complicated and really not relationship with their mom, this is wild to watch because it's very reminiscent of that. But Sookie ignores her, focusing instead on whispering to Lafayette that he's going to need to grab the gun from Lettie Mae as she gets a face full of ashtray because Sookie's about to whip that shit at her head. Hell yeah. So she yeets it at her and Lafayette rushes to pick up the gun and they dash to his car to go get Tara as Lettie Mae shouts after them that, it's not her fault. Tara forgave her. Let her go. Don't ruin this for me.

Speaker 3:
[32:01] For me.

Speaker 2:
[32:02] You bitch. Oh, Sam, Colby and Lisa show up at Fangtasia, which is a sentence I never thought I was going to say. Sam notices Ginger walk into the front door. I said, there's our girl.

Speaker 3:
[32:16] Ginger is a hot mess.

Speaker 1:
[32:19] She is. She stays.

Speaker 3:
[32:20] Every time.

Speaker 1:
[32:21] She stays being a hot mess.

Speaker 3:
[32:23] I'm like, are you ever just a neutral man?

Speaker 2:
[32:25] No.

Speaker 3:
[32:25] I can't do that.

Speaker 2:
[32:26] A bitch like Ginger ain't ever heard a neutral.

Speaker 3:
[32:28] You don't exist there ever. No.

Speaker 2:
[32:30] Well, Sam startles her and she loses her shit in the most Ginger way. He literally is like, excuse me.

Speaker 7:
[32:36] And she's like, oh, oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[32:40] He literally was like, hey girl. Hey girl, hey. But he's like, I got to see Eric. And Ginger says that Eric's not going to be there until after dark, obviously. And Sam's like, no, no, no, I know. But can me and the kids wait inside? And she's like, absolutely not. Eric would never let me do that. And Sam's like, how about for $100? And she's like, chit-ching. That's it. Now Tara walks cautiously into the stack house, Thornton Benedict, Forrester, Carl Broken Water Heater, Jane's Lost Pantaloons, houses where booty built residents. He is in the kitchen, eggs.

Speaker 3:
[33:10] And he's in the kitchen, eggs. You had like a hype man behind you.

Speaker 2:
[33:17] And he looks so dumb.

Speaker 3:
[33:20] He looks so dumb.

Speaker 2:
[33:21] He's the dumbest.

Speaker 4:
[33:22] He's like, her, her.

Speaker 2:
[33:24] Yeah, he literally sounds like that.

Speaker 3:
[33:25] He's just like, ah.

Speaker 2:
[33:27] He's got this big black-

Speaker 3:
[33:27] He's got his mouth open like, ah.

Speaker 2:
[33:29] That's the thing, the big black saucer eyes and an open mouth. He's just catching flies at friends' table.

Speaker 3:
[33:35] It's literally Jane Bowne house or Bowne house, whatever the Jane. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[33:38] Don't conform, Bowne house.

Speaker 3:
[33:39] He looks the same. Yeah. Every time you see Jane, she's always like, ah.

Speaker 5:
[33:45] L-O-L.

Speaker 2:
[33:47] He is fully entranced by whatever fuck shit Mary-Ann is emanating. He says that he was so scared to Tara and he begs her not to leave him again and she promises that she won't, but they need to dip right now. Unfortunately, though, before she can convince his black eyes, possessed ass, Mary-Ann says, everything Tara wants is right here. Why do they have to leave? Tara is like, absolutely not. She doesn't know what the fuck Mary-Ann is, but she wants out of here and Mary-Ann thinks that's hilarious. It is way too late to get out of this. Tara is like, no, you made me eat someone's heart. I'm not doing this again.

Speaker 3:
[34:24] You're gross.

Speaker 2:
[34:24] But Mary-Ann says, oh, you loved it, honey. Tara says, Mary-Ann wants Sam, not them. They have nothing to do with this, so let them go. But she is not going to let them go. She drops a bomb on Tara saying, nothing to do with it.

Speaker 11:
[34:41] You summoned me. What? That night in the woods with that unfortunate pharmacist. You saw me. Well, you saw you through me.

Speaker 2:
[34:55] This was crazy.

Speaker 8:
[34:59] What a bomb drop.

Speaker 2:
[35:00] Truly a bomb drop because I was like, wait a second, what? But they told us, we get a flashback of black-eyed baby Tara, at the ritual with Scamette in season one. Tara's fucked up. Scamette was a fake. How could this be real? She scammed people through crazy made up rituals. But Mary Ann says a ritual is a powerful thing, and calling forth that kind of energy has consequences. It wasn't all fake.

Speaker 1:
[35:23] It wasn't all fake. She done killed a possum that never ever had rabies. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[35:29] I told you they shouldn't have killed that possum. Tara is shook. So Scamette was real, and Mary Ann's like, no. But she had to check in to every option, hence why she was killed.

Speaker 3:
[35:39] Damn.

Speaker 2:
[35:40] That shit rocked my world.

Speaker 3:
[35:42] Yeah, that was crazy.

Speaker 2:
[35:43] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[35:44] It's a really good reveal.

Speaker 3:
[35:45] It is.

Speaker 1:
[35:46] It's a really good tie, because it's like, why did they do that? Look, there's like a lot of, like, I asked that question.

Speaker 3:
[35:52] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[35:52] Like, where did Mary Ann come from all of a sudden?

Speaker 1:
[35:54] Well, not even that, but like, how does, how does Scamette fit into this whole entire narrative? She found that out hard, like, why?

Speaker 2:
[36:00] Yeah. I wondered that at first, and I thought it was maybe just because she wronged Tara, and Mary Ann was like so focused on Tara in the beginning.

Speaker 3:
[36:07] And I think they made you want to think that.

Speaker 2:
[36:09] Exactly. This makes so much more sense. Now, Mary Ann starts buzzing like a magic bullet in Tara's general direction, and Tara's like, nope, that shit doesn't work on me anymore. And then Mary Ann stops and just, I think she punches Tara in the face.

Speaker 3:
[36:22] She hits her hard. Yeah. Bam, bitch went down. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:25] Tara smiles, all black-eyed and fully controlled again.

Speaker 1:
[36:29] Terrifying.

Speaker 2:
[36:30] Before Mary Ann can celebrate getting Tara back into the fucked up fold, though, the town folk all come into the kitchen and they're like, oh my God, the God who comes came.

Speaker 3:
[36:40] She's like, what?

Speaker 2:
[36:41] Mary Ann is fury incarnate. She tells them to get the fuck out and she sends this screeching sound into their brains and they all start screaming.

Speaker 1:
[36:51] It's like if like crickets had a baby with a car alarm with a scratching of like a chalkboard.

Speaker 3:
[36:57] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[36:58] And if that baby got drunk and just like talked too loud.

Speaker 3:
[37:01] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[37:01] It's exactly like that.

Speaker 3:
[37:02] That is precisely, I think that's what they actually typed in to make that sound.

Speaker 1:
[37:07] Definitely.

Speaker 3:
[37:08] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[37:08] Definitely.

Speaker 2:
[37:08] It makes sense. Yeah. Now back at the Fortenberry house, Menal Maxine is still acting like a degenerate, making some abomination. This looked so gross. I hate when foods are mixed together. That should not be.

Speaker 1:
[37:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:21] She mixes rice, chips, snickers, hot sauce. I can't even.

Speaker 1:
[37:25] No.

Speaker 2:
[37:26] Luckily, it's not for them or us. It's for the God who comes. She wants to get to the ritual. Come on, Hoyty. That God is going to love this shit so much. Hoyt's like, one, nobody would ever eat that, and two, we're not going anywhere. He promised when daddy died that he was going to take care of Menal Maxine. She tells him, let that shit go. You have stood in my way from getting drunk and letting some redneck plow my fields like it's planting season.

Speaker 3:
[37:50] And I said, damn, Maxine.

Speaker 1:
[37:51] I know. I know.

Speaker 2:
[37:53] Hoyt explains that comment away for himself. He says, you're not yourself when you're hungry. Don't eat that casserole, but we'll work on this.

Speaker 3:
[37:59] Don't eat that stickers in there.

Speaker 1:
[38:01] It's the only thing he can do to not be reacting in a PTSD way like poor Lafayette.

Speaker 2:
[38:08] Exactly. Well, she tells him that he's just as much of a pansy as his daddy was. And Hoyt is offended. His dad was a hero, but Maxine has some admiration bubbles to pop. Your daddy was a secret drinker and a closet homo-sexual.

Speaker 3:
[38:24] Sexual?

Speaker 2:
[38:25] He liked to dance way more than a quote unquote normal man should.

Speaker 1:
[38:29] I know.

Speaker 2:
[38:29] I said, you're such a dumb bitch.

Speaker 3:
[38:31] She's such a cunt.

Speaker 2:
[38:33] Bud loves to dance.

Speaker 3:
[38:35] She's a See You Next Tuesday.

Speaker 2:
[38:37] She's a cunt.

Speaker 3:
[38:38] We learned she was racist in another episode, and now we know she's, I mean, we know she's everything.

Speaker 2:
[38:43] We know she was figured it out.

Speaker 3:
[38:44] But now just to hear it come out of her mouth, you're like, God damn, you're the worst kind of bitch. I hope somebody can listen.

Speaker 2:
[38:50] I hope Jessica drains her drive. Hoyt says that's terrible. Daddy died protecting them. How dare she talk about him like this? But Maxine tells him, no, honey, your dad died by suicide. And she lied to him all those years because they needed the life insurance money. Not even to protect, that was the other thing. It was like not even to protect Hoyt from the truth. She wanted money.

Speaker 3:
[39:15] It's like we started off with me being like, no, Hoyt, like, I'm good, you're a dick. And then you watch the scene and you're like, fuck. I know. Like you just, what chance did you have?

Speaker 2:
[39:26] I'm like, just leave her and go to your one true love.

Speaker 3:
[39:29] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[39:29] Jessica.

Speaker 1:
[39:30] And that's the whole thing, is that they're definitely trying to create a narrative where the most monstrous person in the room no longer was Jessica.

Speaker 2:
[39:38] Is not the monster, like quote unquote, you know. Exactly. I hope that they can like figure it out because I really do. I'm like, you guys have known each other for a minute, but I love them.

Speaker 1:
[39:47] I know.

Speaker 2:
[39:47] It's true. Back near the Stackhouse property, we're not quite on it. Sookie looks at the crazy offering on the front lawn that is just like stinky and swarming with flies and rotting. She says, My grand lived and died in that house.

Speaker 9:
[40:05] Now it's like people who are the exact opposite of everything she was are defiling her. I almost got raped in Dallas, but this is so much worse.

Speaker 1:
[40:24] That freaking Anna Paquin, amazing in this.

Speaker 2:
[40:28] Oh yeah. That line, I almost got raped in Dallas, but this is so much worse. Like, like, oh my God.

Speaker 3:
[40:35] Holy shit.

Speaker 2:
[40:36] Because this is violation on a completely different level.

Speaker 3:
[40:40] On every level.

Speaker 1:
[40:42] People are literally just shitting all over her memories.

Speaker 3:
[40:45] I was going to say, this is a violation of memories.

Speaker 1:
[40:47] Yeah, like it's like defying, like this place was sacred to her, right? This was her temple.

Speaker 3:
[40:53] It's defiling the only tether she has to Graham. Like that's like the only like physical tether that she had, that she feels like she has to Graham.

Speaker 2:
[41:01] Exactly. Lafayette tells her that those people aren't themselves. And Sookie says she knows she had Marianne's number from the second she met her and heard her thoughts. But Lafayette says Sookie couldn't have stopped her, but Sookie's still heartbroken. She says, How come there's so much wrong in the world, Lafayette?

Speaker 9:
[41:22] How come so many people are willing to do bad things and hurt other people?

Speaker 3:
[41:28] And honestly, we are asking that every single day now in 2026. Like truly, every single time I sign on the internet, anytime I see the news, that's the exact thing I ask.

Speaker 2:
[41:42] It's crazy how this truly is an allegory for the way that the world is right now. People are just running around possessed and it feels. Truly.

Speaker 3:
[41:50] And being mean to each other and cruel and just selfish.

Speaker 2:
[41:55] Acting like animals.

Speaker 3:
[41:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[41:57] Worse than animals.

Speaker 3:
[41:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[41:58] Lafayette says though, it's because they're weak. And Sookie assures him that she is not weak and she is not afraid, damn it.

Speaker 3:
[42:04] She's not.

Speaker 2:
[42:05] She's not. She's such a badass. She truly is.

Speaker 1:
[42:08] Cause like in all, it takes some cojones.

Speaker 3:
[42:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[42:11] Oh yeah.

Speaker 5:
[42:11] Some lady cojones to do what she's been doing.

Speaker 3:
[42:13] She's going up against a god.

Speaker 2:
[42:15] And she doesn't even know what that like electrical bolt thing is. She doesn't know how to harness that or how to muster it up. But she is still going to kick that evil bitch's ass in a grand's house. And Lafayette is going to shoot her in the damn head. That's the game plan. Now, unfortunately, their little pep talk is interrupted by Arlene and Terry, who say that they're trespassing and they're going to have to pay a fine, $100 million, and Lafayette's pants. Yeah, baby. And your pants.

Speaker 5:
[42:43] And your pants.

Speaker 2:
[42:44] And your pants. Lafayette gestures for Sookie to run to the house as he kind of like Hansel and Gretel's Arlene and Terry's asses through the woods with pharmaceuticals.

Speaker 3:
[42:53] He literally does.

Speaker 5:
[42:54] He's like, you want a pink one?

Speaker 3:
[42:55] Here you go, baby. It's just like a little breadcrumb trim.

Speaker 2:
[42:57] He's like, this will make fucking real nice. And they're like, okay.

Speaker 3:
[43:00] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[43:01] At Fangtasia, Eric asks why the fuck he would help Sam, save the shifter.

Speaker 1:
[43:05] He looks fine.

Speaker 2:
[43:06] He's wearing a nice suit.

Speaker 1:
[43:08] He looks okay. It's fine.

Speaker 3:
[43:09] I didn't even notice that he was there.

Speaker 2:
[43:11] I know. I just noticed the suit.

Speaker 3:
[43:12] I certainly didn't notice how he looked in the suit.

Speaker 2:
[43:15] The suit was just so nice. That's all.

Speaker 3:
[43:17] I did not, I did not notice any of that.

Speaker 1:
[43:19] And the lighting, the lighting was really good, I think, too.

Speaker 3:
[43:21] Did you even see the light? I didn't even see the lighting.

Speaker 4:
[43:24] What great lighting.

Speaker 3:
[43:25] What's Vantasia even?

Speaker 2:
[43:26] I've never been there. Shreveport? Never heard of her.

Speaker 3:
[43:29] No.

Speaker 2:
[43:30] But eww, Sam is a shifter. That's disgusting. Sam says he needs Eric's help though, and someday hopefully maybe he will be able to give him something that he needs back, like he'll help out Eric.

Speaker 3:
[43:40] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[43:41] And Eric asks if Sam can give him Sookie Snackos. How about that? Sam says that is a definitive no.

Speaker 3:
[43:46] He's like, God damn.

Speaker 2:
[43:48] He's like, well, I guess I would shoot my shot. Eric says that's a shame because that would be a tribute that he would not forget. Sam reminds him that he's not here to give tribute though. And Eric wonders why he should trust Sam's ass based on a hypothetical IOU that he'll likely never get to collect. And Sam says, somebody has to start trusting somebody around here. Otherwise, we're all ripe for the pickin as far as Mary Ann's concerned.

Speaker 3:
[44:10] He's so right.

Speaker 2:
[44:11] 100%. And he's so at his wits end.

Speaker 1:
[44:14] Yeah, like who's going to give?

Speaker 3:
[44:15] Like we're all supernatural creatures here. Can we all just get on the same side for a minute?

Speaker 2:
[44:19] He's like, hey, one hand washes the other, but we're not going to have hands soon as far as Mary Ann is concerned. Eric says he doesn't really know a lot about a Maynad, but he imagines that she was like the bullheaded asshole that almost killed Sookie. And Pam says that bullheaded asshole owes her a goddamn pair of shoes.

Speaker 5:
[44:36] They were nice.

Speaker 2:
[44:37] Those were her favorite pumps.

Speaker 3:
[44:38] Pam forever. And then remember Eric was like, I get why they were your favorite.

Speaker 2:
[44:41] Yeah, he understood.

Speaker 3:
[44:42] I love them.

Speaker 2:
[44:43] Sam wonders if Eric knows anything that might be of use, and Eric admits that, well, he might. The kids are bored at this lame ass game of chicken, that these supernatural dudes are having. Coby just wants to see Eric's fangs. And Eric obliges, he's like, hell yeah, you can see my fangs. Lisa flinches, she's a little bit scared of those fangs.

Speaker 4:
[45:03] And Eric is like, do you like vampires?

Speaker 2:
[45:06] Lisa said, well, our old stepdaddy didn't, but we do. And Coby mentions that their old stepdaddy is on a vacation with Jesus. And the dinosaurs. I said, Christ. Eric looks at the kids with wonder, and Bupam is absolutely disgusted by them, she says.

Speaker 8:
[45:24] You make me so happy I never had any of you.

Speaker 12:
[45:26] No, come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.

Speaker 2:
[45:33] Teacup humans is my fave. I'm only calling children teacup humans.

Speaker 3:
[45:37] I've been waiting for teacup humans for a while. I've been excited for it.

Speaker 2:
[45:40] And in his voice, teacup humans, teacup humans.

Speaker 1:
[45:43] It's chef's guess.

Speaker 3:
[45:44] It is.

Speaker 2:
[45:44] They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.

Speaker 3:
[45:48] So good.

Speaker 2:
[45:48] So he walks out in his fine-ass suit. That's all I saw. Saying that he has to go pay someone a visit. Pam is relieved that the stinky-ass children are going to be out of this bar. She's like, oh, I'm going to smell you guys for weeks. Damn. But Eric tells Sam that, and he promises, if he learns anything that might be of use, he will contact him. And he says, goodbye, tiny humans. And then he blasts into the sky like he's a Superman. He flies through the air like a sycophantic fangbanger getting punched across the room by himself in season one, episode four, Escape from the House of the Dragon. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[46:20] I loved that. I loved that he just goes, goodbye, tiny humans. And he just flies into the air. And they were like, he can fly. I know. He loves that he's enthralling them. Yeah. I'm kind of like a clown.

Speaker 2:
[46:32] He's like a superhero and hero all at the same time.

Speaker 1:
[46:36] Weirdly, Eric is giving some dada vines.

Speaker 3:
[46:39] He is a little bit. You know what he's giving?

Speaker 1:
[46:41] He's giving scary dada vines.

Speaker 2:
[46:42] He's giving guy trying to date your little bums. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[46:44] That's exactly what he's giving. That's precisely it.

Speaker 2:
[46:48] Trust me, I've met a few of them. They don't usually work out to be great step-dads.

Speaker 3:
[46:53] This little interaction worked out, but that's about as far as that could go.

Speaker 2:
[46:56] He's like, I'll take you to Dave and Buster's, and you're like, hell yeah.

Speaker 3:
[47:00] That'll fly in the air.

Speaker 2:
[47:01] Exactly. Now, at Sookie's house of horrors, Sookie walks into the house and over here is Jane singing to herself. She's just like humming sort of.

Speaker 5:
[47:24] Jane.

Speaker 2:
[47:25] She's like singing in a different language.

Speaker 5:
[47:29] Lo-ho-lo-brom-i-os, lo-lo-brom-i-os.

Speaker 2:
[47:31] That's another language, right?

Speaker 1:
[47:33] Yeah, because it's the chant that Mary Ann says.

Speaker 2:
[47:37] She's just putting it to row your boat. That's so Jane.

Speaker 3:
[47:40] That's so Jane.

Speaker 2:
[47:44] Well, she's working intently on a little project with her back to Sookie. She just chops something, and she is overjoyed.

Speaker 8:
[47:50] All done.

Speaker 2:
[47:52] She notices Sookie, and she proudly turns to show Sookie her little project. It's a present.

Speaker 4:
[47:58] He loves presents.

Speaker 2:
[48:00] The present is her fucking finger. She's this bitch chopped off her own goddamn finger.

Speaker 3:
[48:06] She has a lot to atone for when she comes to. Yeah. Like, when this is all over, I just got, I would love to sit down with Jane and just be like, how are you doing?

Speaker 1:
[48:14] Yeah, let's debrief, babe.

Speaker 5:
[48:15] What's going on? I know that you wanted to debrief. I know you loved it before.

Speaker 2:
[48:19] I was just going to say, it's one thing to lose your pants, it's another thing to chop off your own finger.

Speaker 3:
[48:24] She's still got her pants tied around her waist. She's not even wearing them.

Speaker 2:
[48:28] She's crazy. She's trying this new fashion thing. Sookie's like, wow, that was fucked up, but I guess I have to see more. She continues into her own house of horrors. There's some weird dude just fully naked, bathing in her sink, and I think he's holding intestines.

Speaker 3:
[48:43] He looks like he's holding intestines.

Speaker 1:
[48:45] He's legitimately terrified.

Speaker 2:
[48:47] If I saw this, I don't think I'd want my home anymore.

Speaker 1:
[48:49] I would be done.

Speaker 2:
[48:50] How do you walk past that sink again? How do you do dishes in that sink in the future?

Speaker 3:
[48:55] I need to remodel.

Speaker 1:
[48:56] His ball sack was right there.

Speaker 2:
[48:58] Move in with Beal and do farmhouse fixer uppers.

Speaker 3:
[49:00] I'm a scrub daddy.

Speaker 2:
[49:01] What?

Speaker 5:
[49:02] I'm a scrub daddy?

Speaker 2:
[49:04] Aw, that poor little guy is just not smiling anymore.

Speaker 5:
[49:10] He just looks horrified.

Speaker 2:
[49:11] He's now just got an O face.

Speaker 4:
[49:14] Oh, no.

Speaker 3:
[49:16] He's got two little X's for eyes.

Speaker 2:
[49:19] He's not a bitch.

Speaker 3:
[49:20] Dead daddy.

Speaker 4:
[49:20] Dead daddy.

Speaker 2:
[49:23] So Sookie just tries to note past him, but Mike Spencer grabs her foot.

Speaker 1:
[49:27] Oh my God, that goddamn tree shit.

Speaker 2:
[49:32] So he asks Sookie this awful question. He says, do you remember when your gran was laying here all dead and bloody?

Speaker 4:
[49:39] I was like, what?

Speaker 5:
[49:40] Can you imagine?

Speaker 1:
[49:42] She responds appropriately.

Speaker 12:
[49:44] She does.

Speaker 2:
[49:45] Of course I do.

Speaker 3:
[49:47] Imagine if she was like, no, don't do.

Speaker 2:
[49:49] I don't. Now Mike tells her to come down on the floor with him and she's like, no, thank you. Mike, Jane and Bath-tub Bob all shriek until she subsides and crouches down next to him.

Speaker 5:
[50:00] It's so weird.

Speaker 2:
[50:02] I hate it.

Speaker 1:
[50:03] They're all like, whoa.

Speaker 7:
[50:05] They're like, why would you?

Speaker 5:
[50:10] They all just screech.

Speaker 3:
[50:13] She's like, fine, I'll do it.

Speaker 5:
[50:14] She's like, okay, okay.

Speaker 2:
[50:16] Like me when you say I can't order lunch.

Speaker 4:
[50:18] They just screech.

Speaker 5:
[50:19] They're like, ha ha.

Speaker 2:
[50:22] It reminds me also of the Mandrakes and Harry Potter.

Speaker 4:
[50:25] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[50:26] Mike spoons her though, which I would never get my body clean again.

Speaker 7:
[50:31] No.

Speaker 2:
[50:31] He's like, you smell good. She says, you do not.

Speaker 3:
[50:35] I love that.

Speaker 2:
[50:37] He says that it makes him feel more alive being in the presence of the dead though, but he guesses Sookie would know that. He's like, why do you let gross Bill put his dead pecker in you? It's not natural and it ain't right. Brother, your pecker has been in a tree.

Speaker 5:
[50:52] Let's be real.

Speaker 3:
[50:53] She literally says, she's like, I don't really think you have a lot of ground here to stand on.

Speaker 1:
[50:59] You got a splintery dick, okay?

Speaker 3:
[51:00] Let's be real.

Speaker 2:
[51:01] Luckily, we get the fuck out of there for a moment. We get a little reprieve. We're back at the Queen's house.

Speaker 3:
[51:06] Thank goodness. Oh my God, her outfit.

Speaker 2:
[51:09] Oh, is this when she has that white bathing suit with a little cover up on?

Speaker 3:
[51:12] With the cover up and the white sunglasses and the most perfect hair I've ever seen.

Speaker 1:
[51:17] She looks like a Barbie doll. She does. She looks like old fashioned Barbie doll.

Speaker 3:
[51:21] The whole thing in black, sold.

Speaker 2:
[51:24] Sold.

Speaker 3:
[51:24] Sold. That's the summer luke.

Speaker 2:
[51:27] I feel like you could find that.

Speaker 3:
[51:27] I'm going to find that.

Speaker 1:
[51:29] And her skin is like porcelain. It's like blue white. Like it is like, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[51:34] I feel like you look so good with that haircut, to be honest, if you styled it like that.

Speaker 3:
[51:38] I wish I could style it like that all the time.

Speaker 2:
[51:40] You totally could so easily. Just pin curls.

Speaker 3:
[51:42] Shit.

Speaker 2:
[51:42] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[51:43] And I love the hair color, too.

Speaker 2:
[51:45] Yeah, it's very similar to yours.

Speaker 1:
[51:47] It's very similar to yours.

Speaker 3:
[51:48] I love it.

Speaker 2:
[51:49] Well, you're basically Sophie-Ann now.

Speaker 3:
[51:50] Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[51:51] And you're Nana-ing Bill. She has all of her human livestock just lined up in front of the pool for him.

Speaker 3:
[51:57] Just like I do.

Speaker 2:
[51:58] Yeah. Always.

Speaker 3:
[51:59] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[51:59] And she tells him he needs his strength before he gets to playing Yahtzee. And she needs him on his A-game for that. She wants competition, damn it.

Speaker 3:
[52:05] She loves Yahtzee.

Speaker 2:
[52:06] He reminds her, though, for the umpteenth time that he only feeds from Sookie. And she's like, oh, that's such bullshit. Why would you do that? Yeah. And Bill avoids the question, telling her that if she has told him everything about main ads, then he really should be going. But Sophie will not take no for an answer. She calls on Lutus to let Bill feed off of him. And Bill says, thank you, but no thank you. And Sophie's like, god damn it, you better eat a bite of Lutus. Eat Lutus.

Speaker 4:
[52:31] And Lutus says, I will have a sex with you.

Speaker 10:
[52:36] That will not be necessary.

Speaker 2:
[52:39] Bill says, you do not need to fuck me.

Speaker 5:
[52:41] I love you.

Speaker 3:
[52:42] That will not be necessary.

Speaker 2:
[52:44] So he feeds off of Lutus and Sophie is living for it.

Speaker 1:
[52:48] Now you know that fucking Sophie would love heated rivalry.

Speaker 5:
[52:52] Oh my god.

Speaker 3:
[52:53] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[52:54] Now at the Stackhouse property, Lafayette makes his way cautiously toward the house to help Sookie, but is shocked when Mary-Ann pops into view, asking if she can help him. She's with Carl, who I do find very attractive. I have to say it.

Speaker 3:
[53:06] That's something that I don't quite understand.

Speaker 2:
[53:09] I think he's just a very good looking man.

Speaker 3:
[53:11] I like Mikie's face that he's giving you, which is just a face of absolute wonder.

Speaker 2:
[53:15] We have all admitted crazy shit on the show, and I thought I was safe.

Speaker 1:
[53:19] You are safe. You are safe. You're safe.

Speaker 3:
[53:24] To each their own. To each their own.

Speaker 1:
[53:25] Everybody has a moment.

Speaker 2:
[53:26] He's got the top of his head. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[53:28] Damn. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there.

Speaker 2:
[53:36] Whenever I admit something, you guys are like, you guys make me not want to admit anything ever again. Anyway, she's with some guy named Carl that I don't know about. Girl, they are filthy. They've been foraging a plant. And she's just flourishing that plant, though she talks to him.

Speaker 11:
[53:50] And she says, Horse nettle, also known as bull nettle, the devil's tomato, and my personal favorite, the apple of Sodom. It's quite poisonous, but in the tiniest of doses, a savory addition to any wine-based sauce. Gives it a pungent hint of madness. A little touch of total madness. Stop!

Speaker 2:
[54:20] Yikes. So Lafayette holds his gun steady, telling her to stop, but she continues stepping towards him. As she tells him that he's no stranger to total abandon, she continues to perceive, though, and Carl kind of flanks her as Lafayette shoots the gun. Marianne raises her hand, deflecting the bullet straight into my man's temple. All of my men are dead. She looks at him like she just dropped her napkin and says, Oh, poor Carl.

Speaker 11:
[54:50] You didn't really advance much in this lifetime. You cook, don't you?

Speaker 2:
[54:57] When she directs her attention back at Lafayette, I said, No, he's not yours.

Speaker 1:
[55:01] You can't have him. He is so hot. Like, I get why she would upgrade to, like...

Speaker 3:
[55:05] I mean, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:06] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[55:06] Carl is also great.

Speaker 2:
[55:09] He was really good at making food.

Speaker 3:
[55:11] But I was like, no, he's not your cook.

Speaker 2:
[55:13] No, Lafayette Queenie.

Speaker 3:
[55:14] Leave Lafayette alone.

Speaker 2:
[55:15] Leave my friend alone. Now back at the Queen's home, Bill gets up to leave. He's like, I really have to fucking go, Queenie. Sophie immediately caves, saying that main ads are sad, silly things. The world changed centuries ago, and they're still waiting on the god who comes. But bitch, he's not coming. Gods never show up.

Speaker 1:
[55:32] No, he's the god of fucking edging.

Speaker 4:
[55:34] He is the god of edging.

Speaker 3:
[55:35] He is the god of edging.

Speaker 2:
[55:37] He's like, huh, huh, no. She says they only exist in human's mind. It's like money and morality. This does not answer the question, though. If he can't kill a main ad, how does he get her to leave?

Speaker 7:
[55:48] And Sophie says, She has to believe that she successfully summoned forth Dionysus in hopes that he will ravish her. And quite literally devour her until she's lost into oblivion.

Speaker 10:
[55:59] So she seeks death, the true death, the one thing she has evolved beyond.

Speaker 7:
[56:06] Ironic, isn't it? They're really not that smart, these main ads.

Speaker 2:
[56:10] That kind of made me happy.

Speaker 3:
[56:11] Me too.

Speaker 2:
[56:11] I was like, haha, Mary Ann, you're dumb.

Speaker 3:
[56:12] You're a dumb bitch, Mary Ann. Sophie says so. And whatever the fuck Sophie says, I believe.

Speaker 1:
[56:18] I know. It's true. She's wearing a great fucking bathing suit.

Speaker 3:
[56:21] Just look at her.

Speaker 2:
[56:21] I trust her. A great bathing suit. I trust what you say.

Speaker 3:
[56:24] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[56:25] Bill has more questions, though. How would they summon this non-existent god? But Sophie quickly tut-tuts him. He's not non-existent. He just never comes.

Speaker 1:
[56:33] Because he's the god of camo and edging.

Speaker 2:
[56:35] Of edging. You were going to say camo enthusiast. Mary Ann believes that he will come if and only if she finds the perfect vessel and sacrifices him surrounded by her entourage. Then the mad god will come and she will willingly surrender herself to him. And Bill finally gets it. That's when she'll be vulnerable. His gears are turning. What's the perfect vessel? And Sophie says that any being with a beating heart that straddles two worlds, wares and shifters included. So like supernatural beings.

Speaker 3:
[57:04] So it makes sense that Sam would be one of those.

Speaker 2:
[57:07] Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1:
[57:08] Here's the tangle. Guess who else has a weird thing that she's never encountered before.

Speaker 2:
[57:14] That's what I kept saying.

Speaker 1:
[57:15] That has a beating heart.

Speaker 2:
[57:16] That's what I kept saying when we were watching the episode because she's been so after Sam this whole time. But then when she looked, the way she looked at Sookie and was like, what are you? And that would be the perfect offering for the god.

Speaker 1:
[57:29] Yeah, because she's never experienced this before.

Speaker 5:
[57:31] I'm sure she's brand new.

Speaker 1:
[57:33] Yeah, she's killed probably many a fucking shifter in the past.

Speaker 3:
[57:35] Yeah, and it hasn't worked.

Speaker 2:
[57:37] Oh, that terrifies me. I'm not psychic, but I think because there's at least five more seasons, Sookie will get out of it.

Speaker 3:
[57:44] I think she will survive.

Speaker 2:
[57:46] She will survive. Now, one of Sophie's security guard interrupts them and whispers something into her ear as they walk away to talk in private. As he does, Hadley, the Marianne lookalike, asks how her cousin Sookie is doing and asks Bill to say, hey, from her, Bill is not so sure about that idea. Hadley nods. She's like, okay, how's Gran? I owe her a lot of money. Bill says he thinks it's best that they're not in touch.

Speaker 3:
[58:10] Yeah, you probably don't want to know what's going on.

Speaker 2:
[58:12] Hadley's like, yeah, there's really no place for me in that world anymore. What a crazy interaction. But I do remember.

Speaker 1:
[58:19] They're mentioning.

Speaker 2:
[58:20] Yeah, Sookie has said something about Hadley before, or maybe Jason, but I think it was Sookie. But Sophie-Ann comes back and she's like, Eric is here, and Bill gets up saying that it's definitely time for him to leave them.

Speaker 7:
[58:32] And Sophie-Ann says, this alpha male posturing, you two really should just fuck each other and get it over with. I could watch.

Speaker 2:
[58:39] See, she would love you to drive over.

Speaker 1:
[58:41] She would be like, I want to see that booty too.

Speaker 3:
[58:43] I love her, because she's just like, oh my god, you're annoying.

Speaker 2:
[58:47] Just fuck already.

Speaker 3:
[58:47] Unless you're going to kiss, get out of here.

Speaker 2:
[58:49] I love her. Bill says, thank you for seeing me. And Sophie-Ann tells him to enjoy his restricted diet. She can't wait to meet Sookie.

Speaker 3:
[58:56] I love it. Tells her, I know. I want you two to love each other.

Speaker 2:
[59:00] I know.

Speaker 3:
[59:00] I want you two to be besties.

Speaker 2:
[59:02] I feel like Sookie and Sophie could take over the world together.

Speaker 3:
[59:05] At 100% they could, if they would just get on the right path. I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[59:09] I think they might. Now, outside, Bill asks, what the fuck Eric is doing here? Eric mentions that he hoped he could figure out how to kick a main ad's ass. Bill's like, right, so you can look like a hero to Sookie, huh?

Speaker 12:
[59:21] Eric says, Billy, this paranoia, it's really quite unbecoming. Has she mentioned me?

Speaker 3:
[59:30] I said, oh.

Speaker 1:
[59:32] No, he knows. He's trying to get under his skin.

Speaker 2:
[59:35] Yep. Bill thinks it was pretty desperate of Eric tricking Sookie into drinking his blood, so she'd be attracted to him. Eric says, bitch, who else did that? Oh, yeah, you. Bill's like, you just begged the stallion in that moment.

Speaker 4:
[59:53] I would have loved that.

Speaker 2:
[59:54] Then I really would have noticed him.

Speaker 5:
[59:56] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[59:57] Bill asks how he knew that though. Eric says, oh, that's true. Interesting.

Speaker 3:
[60:02] He's like, oh.

Speaker 5:
[60:03] He was just fishing, and it worked.

Speaker 3:
[60:05] Exactly. He's smart.

Speaker 1:
[60:08] He is smart.

Speaker 3:
[60:08] He's been around for a while.

Speaker 1:
[60:10] Can I just say, I'm just so annoyed at the two of them. Like, guys, put your differences away. Like, there's something.

Speaker 3:
[60:17] There's important shit at hand.

Speaker 1:
[60:18] There's important shit. And like, your fuckery is putting Sookie in active danger.

Speaker 3:
[60:24] Like, you can figure this out later.

Speaker 1:
[60:25] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[60:26] Once the world is safe.

Speaker 2:
[60:27] It's so man, though. It's so man.

Speaker 3:
[60:29] It is. It's so man.

Speaker 2:
[60:30] It is. Bill says he was saving her life, goddammit. And he says he needs to stay, Eric needs to stay the fuck away from Sookie, or he's going to be forced to tell the queen that Eric is forcing Lafayette to sell blood for him.

Speaker 3:
[60:42] I said, oh.

Speaker 2:
[60:43] And Eric says, I don't like threats. And Bill's like, neither do I. And then they just kind of leave. In Jason's truck, Jason wonders, why the hell Andy hates him so much? Is it because he gets so much pussy? There's enough to go around, ew. Andy admits that it just kind of sucks that Jason's always had it so easy. All-state quarterback, women just throw themselves at him, and he doesn't even have to do anything. And Jason says, Yeah, well, actually, I do.

Speaker 6:
[61:09] I work out like a motherfucker, and I watch a lot of porn, learn stuff. What else?

Speaker 2:
[61:16] I said, wow, that must be so difficult for you. God damn it, Jason.

Speaker 1:
[61:19] I know. We were rooting for you. We were.

Speaker 3:
[61:21] How dare you?

Speaker 2:
[61:22] After that really dumb conversation, though, we do realize that this shit is up to them, and they really can't fuck it up. They don't have a lot of time here.

Speaker 3:
[61:29] And Andy says, they won't.

Speaker 6:
[61:30] Jason says, because this town might be full of crazy rednecks. I mean something, this still does.

Speaker 2:
[61:44] At Merlot, Bill bamps into sight and looks meaningfully at Sam.

Speaker 12:
[61:47] You in danger, girl. Oh, no.

Speaker 2:
[61:50] He's like, maybe I could offer you Wednesday.

Speaker 3:
[61:51] He's like, you look good.

Speaker 2:
[61:54] Back in Sookie's house of horror, she's getting groped by Mike.

Speaker 3:
[61:57] Oh.

Speaker 2:
[61:57] And she's like, listen, I'm over this foreplay, let's just go ahead and do it on one condition. I gotta be on top. And Mike is happier than a flea on a fat dog.

Speaker 8:
[62:05] Yippee.

Speaker 2:
[62:06] That is until Sookie brutally assaulted with a frying pan, just leaving him unconscious on the floor, naked.

Speaker 8:
[62:13] Naked.

Speaker 2:
[62:13] She walks cautiously up the stairs leading to a room where a guy is saying.

Speaker 6:
[62:26] Oh, that's it.

Speaker 2:
[62:28] I thought that was so funny, but I also thought that it was Lafayette and I got very nervous.

Speaker 3:
[62:32] You were nervous about that.

Speaker 2:
[62:33] Sookie opens the door, though, finding a guy wearing one of her dresses and he asks her.

Speaker 1:
[62:38] Too much.

Speaker 4:
[62:42] Way too much.

Speaker 2:
[62:43] Get my fucking dress off your butt.

Speaker 3:
[62:45] That does not work, girl.

Speaker 1:
[62:46] She's like, I got to burn everything in this house.

Speaker 2:
[62:49] She says, I think I'm going to die in this house. But she gingerly closes the door, leaving him to admire his look.

Speaker 3:
[62:56] Yeah, because he's having fun.

Speaker 2:
[62:59] She says, all the power to you, honey.

Speaker 3:
[63:00] But she said, try another one. That's too much.

Speaker 2:
[63:02] Yeah, she says, that's not your color. Now she turns into Gran's room, where Tara and eggs are just destroying all of Gran's beautiful trinkets.

Speaker 1:
[63:11] Yeah, it's like antique fucking perfume bottles.

Speaker 3:
[63:14] I was going to say the perfume bottles.

Speaker 1:
[63:15] It's like so sad.

Speaker 3:
[63:17] I love antique perfume bottles.

Speaker 5:
[63:18] They're just laughing at each other.

Speaker 2:
[63:20] Literally just had one tattooed on my body.

Speaker 1:
[63:22] I know.

Speaker 3:
[63:22] It's true.

Speaker 2:
[63:23] I love a trinket.

Speaker 1:
[63:24] Oh my god, you should name it after Graham.

Speaker 2:
[63:28] Oh my god.

Speaker 1:
[63:29] Adele.

Speaker 2:
[63:30] This is Adele.

Speaker 3:
[63:31] That's Adele.

Speaker 2:
[63:31] This is Adele Stackhouse. Oh my god.

Speaker 3:
[63:33] I love her. Adele Stackhouse.

Speaker 2:
[63:35] This is Adele.

Speaker 3:
[63:36] You carry her.

Speaker 2:
[63:37] I carry her with me.

Speaker 3:
[63:40] You did ride in the streets until you got a tattoo.

Speaker 2:
[63:43] I will continue to. Sookie begs them to stop. She says, it made me feel a little bit better that Ash in those streets got a tattoo for my grandma, but you cannot destroy things. An egg cheers Tara on, telling her, tear it up. It's paid for. Sookie tries to grab Gran's knitting away from Tara, but she pulls the yarn, which destroys the last thing that Gran had been working on. And then she throws it onto a legit nest on Gran's bed with a giant fucking egg inside of it.

Speaker 4:
[64:15] What the fuck is that?

Speaker 2:
[64:17] What?

Speaker 1:
[64:18] Yeah, there's some weird shit happening.

Speaker 2:
[64:19] Is there a toucan in there? Yeah. Now Sookie looks at the egg in the bed and everything horrified until a hand lays down on her shoulder. And she turns as Lafayette asks where she's been. He's been looking for her. And she turns and sees that his eyes are totally black. And now the screen is because the showrunners are fake as fuck and that's how they ended this shit.

Speaker 3:
[64:42] Does she scream? Yeah. I think she does this really good scream.

Speaker 2:
[64:45] She does. She does a little final girl scream. And they said, Oh, that's how we know she's going to live because she's a final girl. She is. I'm not psychic, but I do think that Mary Ann is going to try to offer up Sookie to the god that never comes. And that Bill is going to get there just in time with Sam. But that both Sookie and Sam are going to live because they're going to figure out some way to get Mary Ann banished.

Speaker 3:
[65:07] I like that.

Speaker 2:
[65:08] I like the happy ending.

Speaker 1:
[65:09] I like that.

Speaker 3:
[65:10] We got to get rid of Mary Ann.

Speaker 2:
[65:11] We do. I know she can't die, but I'm really hoping for like satisfying end to her. If this carries over into next season, I don't know what I'm going to do, but it won't be healthy for any of us.

Speaker 3:
[65:22] No, you'll riot in the streets for a different reason.

Speaker 2:
[65:25] I might rise above that even. Well, actually, I might stoop a little.

Speaker 3:
[65:28] You'll riot in the skies.

Speaker 2:
[65:30] Yeah, I got to go find Eric.

Speaker 3:
[65:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:32] I mean, I'd never seen him before, but I never find him.

Speaker 3:
[65:36] I've only read about him in a book.

Speaker 2:
[65:39] So whose invite are we rescinding today? Me, I'm rescinding Mike's invite. I think he never had one, but I'm really rescinding it now.

Speaker 3:
[65:46] Lettie Mae.

Speaker 1:
[65:48] Bathtub Bob, like, I don't want that dude. I don't want his ball sack in my sink. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[65:54] I don't want anyone's ball sack in my sink.

Speaker 2:
[65:56] So I hear you.

Speaker 3:
[65:56] He corrupted the scrub daddy, and that's really upsetting.

Speaker 2:
[65:59] He killed the scrub daddy.

Speaker 3:
[66:00] I honestly, Lettie Mae is getting her invitation rescinded.

Speaker 2:
[66:03] No, that's the realest one. She turned a gun on our mans.

Speaker 3:
[66:05] She did. You don't point a gun at Lafayette. No. You just don't. No.

Speaker 1:
[66:10] Did you cry a bloody tear for anybody this week?

Speaker 2:
[66:12] I cried a bloody tear for Hoyt this week.

Speaker 3:
[66:14] Yeah, I did, actually.

Speaker 2:
[66:15] That's heavy to find out.

Speaker 1:
[66:17] It is.

Speaker 2:
[66:17] Yeah, like Sookie and for Sookie, of course.

Speaker 1:
[66:20] Here's the thing, though. I feel like it was coming because I think that he made the wrong decision.

Speaker 2:
[66:26] Like he made the wrong decision, but to find out that your father's death and the way he died, like you've known it a completely different way than it actually was. Yeah, like that's going to take some work to get.

Speaker 1:
[66:38] Yeah, I cried a bloody tear for even though they're safe for poor Kubi and this other one.

Speaker 3:
[66:43] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[66:44] I was crying bloody tears for everyone this week because I also cried a bloody tear for Jessica.

Speaker 3:
[66:49] Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2:
[66:49] It's her first love and he just ran out the door with his mama.

Speaker 3:
[66:53] With his mean old Maxine mama.

Speaker 2:
[66:54] Your first love has a shitty mother-in-law right off the bat.

Speaker 3:
[66:57] That mean old Maxine.

Speaker 2:
[66:58] That sucks.

Speaker 3:
[66:59] Yeah, not great. He was quite the dumb.

Speaker 1:
[67:03] He was quite the dumb.

Speaker 3:
[67:05] Honestly, Sookie was quite the dumb.

Speaker 2:
[67:07] Sookie and Sophie.

Speaker 3:
[67:08] Oh, and Sophie.

Speaker 2:
[67:09] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[67:10] My girl Sophie.

Speaker 1:
[67:11] Yeah. Sophie really did do. She had that bratty fucking vibe.

Speaker 3:
[67:16] Brat girl summer vibe.

Speaker 2:
[67:18] Yeah. Also, she kind of did tell, she gave Bill valuable information.

Speaker 3:
[67:23] She did.

Speaker 2:
[67:23] In the main ads.

Speaker 1:
[67:24] She just likes to play with her food. I wonder what she did to Eric after Bill.

Speaker 3:
[67:30] How long is he going to stay there? I know.

Speaker 2:
[67:32] He might fuck her.

Speaker 3:
[67:33] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[67:34] No, that's true.

Speaker 3:
[67:35] I don't know Eric because I don't even see him in the show. But I feel like if I was a queen of vampires, I would probably keep a guy named Eric there for a long time.

Speaker 2:
[67:47] Maybe. Depends on what he looks like.

Speaker 1:
[67:50] Can you chronicle?

Speaker 3:
[67:51] I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[67:52] I don't know Eric.

Speaker 1:
[67:53] You're like, this is not fanfic, Michael.

Speaker 5:
[67:57] Oh, my God.

Speaker 3:
[67:59] Can you chronicle?

Speaker 2:
[68:01] No. Goodbye. Anything else?

Speaker 1:
[68:05] No. I'm just excited for the finale of season two. Like, it's been a ride, and I feel like it's time to see what happens.

Speaker 2:
[68:15] And time to get people on the show. So if you know anybody from True Blood, contact them and force them into being on the show. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Let's go.

Speaker 1:
[68:22] Please.

Speaker 2:
[68:23] Well, the blood may be synthetic, but the drama is real, y'all. True Blood is hosted and executive produced by us, Ash Kelley, Alaina Urquhart and Mikie Saroy. Our original theme song is written and performed by Andrew McMahon, edited by John Ross. For The Morbid Podcast Network, Mikie Saroy is our senior producer, and executive producers are Alaina Urquhart and me, Ash Kelley.