transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] We're here live, talking baseball, hitting, kitchen, making all the right, all the plays happen. Let's talk to it. Ever seen them launch your Grand Slams? What's that? Ever seen them launch your Grand Slams? I don't know what you're saying, dude. Ever seen them launch your Grand Slams?

Speaker 2:
[00:20] Oh, Grand Slam, yeah. Of course.

Speaker 1:
[00:23] Is it, is it real? Is it real?

Speaker 2:
[00:27] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[00:30] It's, it's, it's a, it's a real, real great sport. When, when everybody is around and we're swinging for, took long bombs away, how, how do we come around to know, man, this really, this really is what it's for?

Speaker 2:
[00:45] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[00:45] Are you high right now? What?

Speaker 1:
[00:48] What was I, is that a question? Wow, this is the worst interview I've ever had.

Speaker 4:
[00:51] I'm sorry, man.

Speaker 1:
[00:53] No, no problem. Great group of guys.

Speaker 4:
[01:07] You gotta be vaping me.

Speaker 3:
[01:09] That is totally absurd.

Speaker 5:
[01:11] And please don't play this on the radio. No one listens to the radio.

Speaker 3:
[01:14] I wasn't even listening. I was listening to podcasts.

Speaker 2:
[01:16] Podcasts are great. Radio is boring. This Canadian rap, Jump Man, Jump Man, them boys up to something. Uh, uh, uh, I think I need some Robitussin.

Speaker 1:
[01:26] Oh, this party is gonna be off the hook.

Speaker 2:
[01:31] Well, all right.

Speaker 4:
[01:32] Hello. Good morning. And welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Speaker 2:
[01:38] Get off Milk Island.

Speaker 4:
[01:39] My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Speaker 5:
[01:42] I like to party.

Speaker 2:
[01:43] Do you like to party?

Speaker 4:
[01:44] Coming to you from the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is a wet Tuesday.

Speaker 2:
[01:52] Didn't know you liked to get wet, though.

Speaker 4:
[01:54] Been having some lovely weather of late, but that trend comes to an end today, as it is torrentially raining here, but as we like to say, it's warm and dry here inside the studio, so we are all set to bring you episode 4710 in a collector series.

Speaker 2:
[02:10] Let the fun begin.

Speaker 4:
[02:12] Tried to give that a real solid bell ding. Andrew said that my bell ding was a little underwhelming yesterday, so we're trying to keep things crisp, keep things clean, and bring you the optimum episode here, which we mentioned is 4710 in a collector series. We got an update from the TBTL Junior Sluggers, aka the TBTL Jalapenos.

Speaker 2:
[02:34] Jalapenos!

Speaker 4:
[02:36] Our Little League team in the Parkside Little League of Portland will-

Speaker 2:
[02:40] Kids in Fantasy.

Speaker 4:
[02:41] Tell you how they have been doing. Also, there was a militaristic parachute jump that happened at a college spring game, college football spring game the other day.

Speaker 6:
[02:52] These are my words, Mother, from Army.

Speaker 4:
[02:55] And things got kind of weird. We'll talk about that. And we're going to talk to this guy, longest running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship.

Speaker 3:
[03:05] Isn't he the best?

Speaker 4:
[03:06] He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Speaker 5:
[03:09] Good morning, Luke.

Speaker 4:
[03:10] I got nervous there, dude.

Speaker 5:
[03:12] With what? Did I pause too long?

Speaker 4:
[03:13] No, I was dinging my bell, and I was trying to ding it quite sort of with a clear, beautiful tone, because you said yesterday that my bell dinging was kind of a little lackluster. And I look at our little screen, and you're nowhere to be found.

Speaker 5:
[03:29] I didn't know that you could see me. I thought during that phase...

Speaker 4:
[03:31] Your chair was spinning like Warren Michaels in a bit.

Speaker 5:
[03:34] Exactly. You know, I didn't know that you could see me at that part of the show. I thought you had a screen up that blocked the video.

Speaker 4:
[03:42] You've taught me that I can do a little mini screen in the bottom corner, and I can see you and my audio drop. So it's the best of all worlds.

Speaker 5:
[03:50] Actually, do you want to... I do.

Speaker 4:
[03:53] Whatever it is, yes.

Speaker 5:
[03:55] You can hear the... It was pretty cool yesterday. Now, I didn't really test it out fully, but we were on the Fun Loving Criminals text chain. There is a Mariners Baseball game going on. It doesn't matter what happened in the game. It just doesn't. That's not what we're here to talk about.

Speaker 4:
[04:13] We're only focused on the Junior Sluggers.

Speaker 5:
[04:15] Exactly. Oh, looking forward to getting that update too. So I'll make this quick. But this is not a story about sports. This is a story about technology and the human condition. And there is a human condition who has been in the broadcast booth. Sounds like a wrestler.

Speaker 4:
[04:32] The human condition. Friday Night Raw.

Speaker 5:
[04:34] It's Lex Luger against the human condition. Versus Andrew the human condition Walsh.

Speaker 4:
[04:43] No.

Speaker 5:
[04:44] I don't want to be mean about it, but let's just say that in the television broadcast booth, they are experimenting with a new broadcaster who is a former Mariners player.

Speaker 4:
[04:52] They are doing that, by the way. Like, are they, I mean, if anything, it seems like they are contracting, in a way, broadcast teams and people, and I mean, are they hurting for on-air talent? I don't understand why they are sort of auditioning new people for the job.

Speaker 5:
[05:07] It is interesting, isn't it? Because they have this revolving sort of schedule where some days, you know, our favorite, you always have, well, first of all, I should just say, you always have Aaron Goldsmith in the booth. Yes, he's always holding it down the TV side. But then his partner, his broadcast partner kind of changes. Like sometimes we've said it many times on the show. There's a woman named Angie Mentink, who's really great. She's our favorite. That's the best match up, right? Yes. But for some reason, they have her doing other things, like she'll be the reporter. We talked about this on the show recently, like she was criticized for using like some suggested questions from AI in a post game interview. We don't even know if she used those questions, by the way. Somebody just creep shot at her asking AI if there are any good questions.

Speaker 4:
[05:51] Her phone did say, Hey, Chad GPT, why does Dan Wilson's brain work so bad?

Speaker 5:
[05:56] Exactly.

Speaker 4:
[05:58] It's a question we've all been asking. Actually, you were the leading edge of that, Andrew. I need to credit that. Much like your garbage anxiety, you were ahead of the curve on that.

Speaker 5:
[06:06] That was... I was not. I was in step with a lot of what a lot of people were saying last year. I was behind the curve, and now I'm caught up. I think you're eliciting... But anyway... Anyway, so that's the team that we like, but every now and then it will be Ryan Rollins-Smith, whom we also like. He'll be in there with Aaron, and then Angie will be covering the clubhouse or whatever, or the dugout or whatever, doing post-game interviews and that type of thing. And so they kind of mix it up, and then you have like a Dave Valley who's in there sometimes. I'm not a big fan of the Dave Valley in the booth. I think your mileage may vary on that. I'm not a huge fan. And anyway, so they're mixing it up, and now they've brought, I'll just, I'll name them since we're doing this. They like, I'm worried about him listening to the show and hurting his feelings. But they got Ryan Healy, who is a former Mariner First Baseman, who clearly he's getting into the broadcast side of things. He's pretty new at it. I think he might have done some games around the league last year, maybe even in San Diego, our archrival city.

Speaker 4:
[07:11] Slam Diego, Vetter Cup.

Speaker 5:
[07:13] Slam Diego, exactly. Shout out Kyle Mooney, I guess. There it is. There it is. But anyway, Ryan's like... Ryan in the broadcast booth has drawn a lot of... He's enthusiastic, by the way. He's enthusiastic.

Speaker 4:
[07:28] Which I don't think is a bad thing.

Speaker 5:
[07:30] He won me over with a little self-deprecation, because when you have a former player in the booth, they can talk, doing color commentary, they can talk about what it's like to be at the plate during an at bat like this, whatever. There is value there. And it is kind of funny. I think by the time you had turned off the broadcast last Friday, because you had had enough of him, as I was seeing a lot of people doing on social media, he kind of was saying like, you're asking the wrong guy because I couldn't face pictures like this. It was like, he's human. He's got a sense of humor. He's new. Maybe it'll work out. But especially during a couple of games where things have turned on the Mariners and they're losing. And then you have this guy who sort of only got one energy level because he's just trying to do his job. But it was just so painful. It was literally. I remember turning off the broadcast on Friday night. Like it was so it got so so bad, even though I was defending him at first. And then yesterday he was back on the broadcast. And I saw chatter both in our text chain and on social media just saying like, what are we doing with this guy in the booth? I don't want to be mean to him. I think he means well. I think he's got some I think he's got some talent there. It's just it's just tough right now. And to match the tone of what's going on in the game is important.

Speaker 4:
[08:41] Yeah, that's exactly the point, which is I think this must be something you learn over time. You've got to figure out as one of the announcers, whether the play by play or the color person, how to deliver the information in a way that is in keeping with how the fans are probably feeling. And it even comes down to just particular hits, like when the other team hits a home run, that's a real skill to be, let's say, the Mariners announcer and the A's are hitting a home run. Shane Langelier is going yard.

Speaker 5:
[09:13] He scares the hell out of Genevieve, by the way, because that was like some Stephen King story or something. Do you know about this? The Langelier's? Genevieve gets freaked out. And she's like, is Langelier the only player on this team? Every time I tune into the radio, they're talking about Langelier's and it's scaring me.

Speaker 4:
[09:28] Well, Rick Tommy Knocker also got a two-out double.

Speaker 5:
[09:32] Together they call them the Skeleton Crew.

Speaker 4:
[09:35] But the really good announcers have figured out this weird way to announce that the other team has hit a home run accurately, but in a way that doesn't seem like they're getting any enjoyment out of it. Yeah. There's a big element of it of managing the feelings of people like me who take this stuff way too seriously, and he's new at it and he just doesn't quite have that down. He may get there. He seems like an enthusiastic guy.

Speaker 5:
[10:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[10:01] Anyway, you had figured out a way, although I tried to do the gesture and I couldn't make it happen, but also again, I was pretty bummed about the game in general. So maybe that was impacting my ability to do this little hack that you're talking about. How do you get the radio broadcast and the TV picture going?

Speaker 5:
[10:17] And so you and I are both watching these games via the MLB TV app. And we bought the Special Mariners plugin or whatever so that we can watch those games. Now you're watching yours on a television on the Roku. That's how I watch them usually. But yesterday I was not in a position to do that. So I was just experimenting on my phone and doing a little Googling during this game because I was listening to the radio broadcast on it. I sent you a video on my old fashioned AM only radio that our friend and listener Karen gave me. Karen, I was talking to Genevieve about that radio last night. I don't think a single day has gone by since you gave me that radio four years ago that I haven't listened to it. Wow. Except for when I'm on vacation. That radio is always on in the kitchen. I'm always listening to 710 on it. It's just like... And it's so cool. And it's like, you know, it's really retro. It's not just retro looking. It sounds good. It looks good. I love that radio. And so I was listening to that. But you were sort of complaining about what you were hearing on the television broadcast with this crew. And so I'm like, wait a second, is there a way back in the day? And I say back in the day, I mean, probably even last season, I would sometimes put on the radio broadcast like Rick Riz or whatever and then try to sync it up to the TV broadcast so that I could listen to the radio and watch TV. I know that that's something that dads and uncles have been doing for generations.

Speaker 4:
[11:45] They used to run promos on Kiro that would say, turn down your TV and turn up the radio. They would literally encourage, this was for the football games, I think, they would encourage you to listen to the radio broadcast while your television was on.

Speaker 5:
[11:57] So anyway, I know that there's a long tradition of that, but it occurred to me, I'm like, wait a second, with this app, does it just give you the option of choosing which audio stream you want to listen to? Like can you, within the app, not syncing up two different devices or anything, just pull up the game on your TV, but then choose the audio broadcast from the radio side instead and on the phone app, you can. And I was doing it for a second. I didn't, again, I just needed to listen to the radio because I was like cooking and doing a bunch of stuff. So I wasn't interested in seeing it. Exactly. Let them cook. Stir fry. So anyway, I didn't, but I was so psyched about it. That's where the technology comes in. I was so psyched to see that, of course, they've built that into the app. It's so intuitive that I can't believe MLB is allowing us to do it. I hate to say it, but I couldn't believe that they had the forethought to do this and to give us the option to do it because they just keep such a tight grip on everything. Of course, I tried to take a video of my screen to show you how to do it, how to engage this functionality. But it wouldn't even let me take a screen cap or a video because it says, this app does not allow this for copyright reasons or whatever, in which case I swore at it again and then it told me, just because I'm a virtual assistant.

Speaker 4:
[13:14] You didn't get John Stanton's express written consent.

Speaker 5:
[13:17] Exactly, exactly. So anyway, but I'm really excited about that. So I'm going to figure out when I'm behind a television later today, if you can do that on the Roku app as well, because it's really cool.

Speaker 4:
[13:28] Yeah, see, that's the issue, is that I'm not... Boy, are we ever taking this to Interesting Town on Taco Tuesday, but I'm watching what effectively looks like a television broadcast and almost like a cable channel of sorts. It's not an... I've got the Roku City, which by the way, now that you hip to me to the fact that the Roku City is a reference to various movies and stuff, I've really got a soft spot for it now.

Speaker 5:
[13:54] I love it. You're right that it looks like a call back to an earlier day of media, but I love it. I find it so calming.

Speaker 4:
[14:01] But I choose subscriptions, and then I go to the MLB app, and then there's probably a better way to do this, but I don't know how. In fact, when I joined the game and it's already started, I don't really know how to get it to go to just the live broadcast. So I have to go to my recording of the game and I have to fast forward it up until it's live.

Speaker 5:
[14:19] Oh, no, don't do that. I think it should give you a choice when you log in, or like when you first turn it on, but if it's not clear right there, just... Oh, God, I'm sorry. I just remember that we're doing a podcast. I literally was just like, what? Shit, I can help you with that. You go up, you just push up once and it says, skip to live and you just go right to live.

Speaker 4:
[14:41] I knew there was a screen for it. There was something that I just wasn't aware of. But all that is to say, it doesn't seem like it's giving as opposed to like on my phone. If I had the MLB app open on my phone, there's a lot of different stuff. There's a lot of functionality with the kind of cell phone app version of it versus the thing I'm clicking on the Roku, it would seem. So I wonder if I'll be able to do what you're talking about. But that would be handy because I would absolutely just, I'd love to get me some Gary Hill Jr. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[15:09] And again, I love, I mean, Aaron Goldsmith is the best. It's just kind of like, it depends on who he's with. That might lead you to want to go the radio audio route. By the way, the reason I'm distracted right now is because that was seriously a real moment where I just started like, just helping you with how to use the remote control on the Roku. And then a line from an article that I read today, an interview that I read today suddenly popped into my head. And it was an interview that our friend, Jean Bean Baxter sent us. And it's in Barrett Media. Shout out, right? He did. And it's this kind of an industry, it's kind of a radio industry interview. And it says, the industry, according to Jean Bean Baxter, Sirius XM Lithium. And so it's an interview conducted by somebody named Keith Cunningham. And Bean sent this to us. And the interview is just about, like, where Bean thinks the industry is going, where it's at now, how it compares to the old days. You know, I think all of our listeners know who Bean is, right, of course, from K-Rock, famously.

Speaker 4:
[16:15] Yeah, radio hall of fame member, Kevin and Bean.

Speaker 5:
[16:18] Exactly. And of course, shout out to a Cup of Tea and a Chat, his current podcast, which is lovely and wonderful. And it's a great companion podcast like this. And he gives us way too much credit. He's always so sweet. And in this interview, he gave us a shout out. He said, you know, like, I'm going to read this quote right now. My old friends. So the interviewer, Keith, asks him, like, what are you listening to now? What do you like? And he shouts out a few things. He says, my old friends, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh have been hosting TBTL Too Beautiful To Live for the past 15 years. You know, it's like more like 18. And we were really, they were really an inspiration when starting my own podcast. I mean, oh, she's Louise, man. I know we're an inspiration.

Speaker 4:
[17:00] Radio Hall of Fame.

Speaker 5:
[17:02] Yeah, right. But then he says, because he was talking also about how authentic voices are the important thing earlier in this interview. And he says, they taught me the value of minutiae. The most interesting things in the world are rarely the most important. And they have again, authenticity in spades. And I think what we just heard as I was about to describe you, we're on a remote control to click a button to skip to the live part of the losing Mariners game. We had authenticity in spades and minutiae. Manutiae out the wazoo.

Speaker 4:
[17:38] People often ask like, well, five days a week, what do you talk about? Well, Tuesdays is where Andrew walks me through my Roku. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[17:44] Do you have your remote on you now? I'll go over each button.

Speaker 4:
[17:48] Is it? Well, you can absolutely cut this out, Andrew. But is it okay if we mention the origin of the Roku?

Speaker 5:
[17:56] Sure. Yeah. No, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[17:58] I only found this out recently.

Speaker 5:
[18:03] I was hiding the origin of the Roku because I didn't want you to feel weird about it. I wanted you to-

Speaker 4:
[18:07] No, I don't. But I actually feel it's in a bizarre way. It's sweet to me. And yeah, it's sweet. I appreciate you thinking of me. But also, yeah, it's an intense update in that the Roku came from your late mother's estate.

Speaker 5:
[18:22] It constitutes almost the entirety of the estate that I inherited. And I'm not joking about that.

Speaker 4:
[18:27] You're not locked in a protracted legal battle over the Roku?

Speaker 5:
[18:31] When I was- So yeah, a couple of weeks ago or a month or so ago, you were telling me that you were having issues getting the MLB app on your TV, kind of as a native app. And I said, yeah, you're probably going to have to get a Roku. But I have a couple of Rokus kicking around here because I had purchased one last year for a different baseball reason that I don't need anymore. But then I also had another Roku, Mini or something like that. And it was my mom's Roku. And I don't know when she was using this, but my mom passed away in September. And as we were cleaning out the little room in the care facility where she stayed, there was a lot of conversation like, hey, do you want to take this home? Do you want to take this home? You know, sentimental things. I mean, I did take a few sentimental things. But I was like, no, you know, I'm flying. I don't have a lot of room for things. And I think you know this about me, Luke. I'm just I don't like as much as I love objects. I don't like clutter. I don't like feeling burdened down by having too many things. You talked about your basement and just like all the things you've accumulated over the years. And I kind of have a closet of TBTL stuff that's kind of like there's a line of people for that accordion. Oh, great. Oh, good. Really?

Speaker 4:
[19:36] That's good.

Speaker 5:
[19:37] That's nice. That's sweet.

Speaker 4:
[19:38] Mellie, I'll get it to you, OK?

Speaker 5:
[19:39] That's actually really cool. That's I love that because that makes the listeners happy and everybody can be happy about it. But anyway, I have just such a weird thing about technology. Now, keep in mind, this is also something small. It wasn't like, hey, do you want this hand carved stool that was kicking around our house when we were children? And I saw that I was like, oh, my God, I told it's just a stool. Right. But when you see something for the first time in 40 years and you realize that your mom has been carrying that around from apartment to apartment to apartment and then you see it, you're like, oh, my God, I remember being a kid and sitting on that or standing on that to get to the shelf above the washing machine or whatever. You have this just sudden blast of nostalgia. But then you're like, no, I'm not going to take that on the plane. And no, it's not worth you shipping it to me because I've had the feeling now and it's a very sweet feeling. But now let's give it to a good home or something. You know, I just was really trying not to, like, kind of come home with bringing too much stuff. But I have this sickness, this just absolute sickness when I see a little piece of technology, we're pulling mom's TV off the wall. I'm like, well, there's a Roku Mini back here. I can just throw that in my pocket or grab the cables or whatever. And am I thinking to myself, well, you got like two Rokus at home, one of which isn't even in use right now. Do you need this thing? And the answer was sadly yes. And also the most ubiquitous thing in our culture right now are USB cables of some sort, USB-C or whatever. Like you buy anything, you buy a toothbrush, you get one of those. We played that intro tape from TikTok the other day. You buy a pair of socks, it comes with Bluetooth and a cable.

Speaker 4:
[21:16] Remember how I was so proud of myself? I thought I had gotten fully onto the USB-C world.

Speaker 5:
[21:24] Yeah. No.

Speaker 4:
[21:27] Like a horror film when the monster grabs you with one tentacle. I've been dragged back into the USB world because there's just too many random things that need... There's just no agreement across the industry of what cable we're going to... I mean, it's supposed to be USB-C, but we don't live in a perfect world.

Speaker 5:
[21:45] No, we don't. I have a couple of... My old Bose speaker, Bluetooth speaker here, which is getting pretty old. It's probably 15 years old, but it's a great speaker. But it's so old that it still uses the old USB minis, if you remember those weird shaped little guys. So anyway, all that is to say, as I'm packing... As not me, but as the family is sort of packing up my mom's stuff, I'm like, yeah, I'll take this Roku and I'll take these cables. Like the last thing I need are cables. But like, I was like, well, I'll take those. And there was something about the whole experience that really like... To me, grabbing that Roku off the back of the TV and bringing it back home to Seattle really symbolized something for me. I don't know what exactly. I don't think it's good, whatever it is. But anyway, so then, but it was working and I had it here and it was in its own little box or whatever. And then when you said you needed a Roku, I'm like, buddy, I can get you a Roku. I can get you a Roku with nail polish on it if you want. And so I sent it to you. But I didn't want you to know that it was my mom's who had deceased recently. I don't think she was using it up till the end, by the way. I think she had maybe moved on to some other technology.

Speaker 4:
[22:53] When you wiped it, there was a lot of the game show network on there.

Speaker 5:
[22:56] It did. I was like, well, I had never plugged it into my TV, but I'm like, I should just plug this into the TV and just make sure there's not just tons of erotica stored on it or something like that before I sent it.

Speaker 4:
[23:09] It's all Pat Sajak erotica though, that's the thing.

Speaker 5:
[23:12] I don't think you can store things on a Roku. But anyway, so I plugged into my TV and I did have a...

Speaker 4:
[23:18] The sweat dripped down Alex Kabeck's back as he chopped wood.

Speaker 5:
[23:21] Oh my God. Jump man, jump man. These boys up to something. I think I need a robot. Do you know that actual song, by the way? Somebody referenced that song in another podcast recently.

Speaker 4:
[23:38] I don't think of all of the ones that's Trebek basically doing hip hop, right?

Speaker 5:
[23:42] Yeah. The category was like name the song, name the rapper. He read the readers.

Speaker 2:
[23:46] Never let me slip because if I slip, then I'm slipping.

Speaker 4:
[23:49] Yeah. The jump man one, I actually don't recognize.

Speaker 5:
[23:51] Yeah. Anyway, I didn't tell you that that was my deceased mom. And when I did clear it off, there were a bunch of like, did you owe recommendations for these game show channels? Because that's mostly what she did was she watched game shows, which I find very sweet. And I will say that as I kind of did a factory reset on that, I did have a moment of, okay, mom, say goodbye to your game shows. But now you have it, and I'm so glad it has a second life. And I'm so glad you're not weirded out about that.

Speaker 4:
[24:17] No, not at all. In fact, I mean, honestly, I have more of a connection to this random piece of plastic than I would have otherwise. And because this is Roku Tuesday, I want to tell you that I solved for the... Because an issue that I was having was, because it's mounted behind my television, using the Roku remote, the little handheld deal, it had a hard time getting through the physical shield of the television. So I had to do this kind of weird thing where I'd kind of hold the remote sort of down near the ground, so it kind of ricocheted up behind the TV. But then I realized, Roku has a really great app, and one of the things you can do on the Roku app is turn your phone into the remote control. And that's not using the remote control radio waves, it's just using your internet connection. And it's great, that's what I use now.

Speaker 5:
[25:05] And I'll bet you the options might be on that virtual remote control on your phone if you want to change the audio feeds. I'll bet you that's a good way to get into those settings. But anyway, experiment with that and I'll look at the remote as well. Absolutely, will do.

Speaker 2:
[25:20] I made the change from a common thief to up close and personal with Robin Leach.

Speaker 5:
[25:26] Oh, he's hilarious dog. Who is Rick Moranis?

Speaker 2:
[25:31] We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right man, razzle dazzle.

Speaker 4:
[25:36] On your mark.

Speaker 2:
[25:39] Now ready. All right.

Speaker 4:
[25:45] Let's thank some dazzling donors. These wonderful, generous people are voluntarily donating a dazzling amount of dough. I hope that Bean mentioned this in his big time radio interview, that we've reinvented the business model for podcasting. We've got these other high-flying operations that are charging, I don't know, Bluechew and who else? Who are the big advertisers these days on podcasts?

Speaker 5:
[26:15] What's that one? This is probably not on podcast, but I've been listening to almost exclusively baseball broadcast via that app. What is that one? The non-lethal gun or whatever?

Speaker 4:
[26:25] I started hearing that one too.

Speaker 5:
[26:28] Oh, my God.

Speaker 4:
[26:29] They've got billboards as well. I think they might have even had... They didn't have a Super Bowl ad, did they? I feel like they had a football ad. We were talking about that weird... Maybe it was when I tried to buy more lethal than I imagined gun off the Internet.

Speaker 5:
[26:45] That was a different brand, but it was a similar product. That one that I told you about, it wasn't a Super Bowl commercial, but they had... I don't think it was a Super Bowl, but they would show a woman just holding a banana instead of a gun.

Speaker 4:
[26:57] Yes. Yes. It was kind of a clever ad campaign.

Speaker 5:
[26:59] Yeah. I don't think this is that same company, but it's so Berna-less lethal. We don't take any of that Berna-less lethal.

Speaker 4:
[27:05] No. We're getting none of that banana gun money.

Speaker 5:
[27:07] No.

Speaker 4:
[27:08] There's always money in the banana gun.

Speaker 5:
[27:10] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[27:11] No. We're getting donations from wonderful folks like Kevin and Beth. Shumway, just like Alf says it.

Speaker 5:
[27:18] Shumway. That's right. Gordon Shumway is Alf's real name.

Speaker 4:
[27:22] And they are in Leighton, Utah. And here's what Kevin and Beth are saying. Hello, friendos. We don't have much to say other than keep up the great work and that we love listening to the pod cart. We started listening during the anniversary episodes while on a road trip to the Oregon coast. Wow. That is what an interesting entry point to the program. For those that don't know, we did, we... Again, I would say well ahead of our time, with peace and love to your beloved comedy bang bangers who did, I think, also like some kind of marathon show. But I believe before they did that, we did this where we got in this sprinter van with our buddy Corey Schrepple, who is an engineer extraordinaire, and somehow we were able to ride around in this sprinter van and broadcast live and take phone calls.

Speaker 5:
[28:12] And take phone calls.

Speaker 4:
[28:14] And we just bombed around Washington State. We went over to Eastern Washington and picked Jen up. We picked Sean up at some point, I believe. And we just, and this whole thing eventuated in us showing up at the rebar in Seattle, where we got out of the van and did a live show. That was pretty ambitious, honestly, and pretty fun.

Speaker 5:
[28:33] It was. I'm trying to figure out, how did somebody discover us right before that moment? Because we didn't get, in typical TBTL fashion, I don't think, did we get APM even to release one press release about that? Like you have like, oh, hey, listen, the first podcast ever to do 24-hour nonstop podcast without any, well, we would take one break in between each show we were playing, one American pie.

Speaker 4:
[29:00] Don McLean's American pie, right?

Speaker 5:
[29:01] I've been a slightly remixed version that gave us a couple extra minutes in there. But for the most part, we never stopped broadcasting for 24 hours, including the live show at the end, driving around a van, taking phone calls, and we got zero publicity for it at all. Maybe some of that can be on us because we didn't push forward enough. But my goodness gracious, you can't sell that as just one press release. But anyway, I do think that, did that come around the time though? Was that the culmination of the, what the hell is TBTL? No, that was the hitchhiking thing we did, right? When we were getting all of our listeners to try to get strangers to listen to our show.

Speaker 4:
[29:38] Yeah, that's how we ended up at Jamie's house in Mississippi, was because Jamie had subjected the largest number of strangers to TBTL content, which is how the contest was won. But yeah, for Kevin and Beth, we're talking today about Roku Tuesday and getting into the minutiae. And you even, hour 22. I'm just remembering us parked in the parking lot outside of Kiro. We didn't even work there anymore.

Speaker 5:
[30:00] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:01] Just like-

Speaker 5:
[30:02] It was like it was a place that we wanted to reconnect with. It was an important location on the TBTL map.

Speaker 4:
[30:08] It was conveniently located near the rebar. I feel like that was in the kind of, that was towards the end of things. But I cannot even imagine for Kevin and Beth how just frazzled we must have been. And for that to be the first two, because then we turned that into like two weeks of shows.

Speaker 5:
[30:25] Yeah, that's right. Well, that was nice. We needed a breather after that.

Speaker 4:
[30:29] I needed two weeks to recover.

Speaker 5:
[30:30] I remember that Sprinter van being parked in that back corner of the Kiro van. And you're right, that's when we had Jen with us. And so we were finally like not moving anymore. We were just sitting in the van. And I remember she was talking about her husband, Jason C-PAP machine. And one of you, I don't think this was my joke. And I think we named that episode this. One of you said, she sells C-PAPs down by the seashore. I think that's a solid joke anyway, but especially my sleep deprived mind. I thought it was the best joke I'd ever heard.

Speaker 4:
[31:04] I think the sleep deprivation helped, but I do think that's not the worst joke. Considering the fatigue factor, I stand by that or I stand by whoever said that. So Kevin and Beth said that they started listening because of the anniversary episodes. They said, You bring a humor and heart, and are a comforting voice during such chaotic times. What you do is so important. There was a question last year during our donor shout out as to whether we are aware of Alf because of our last name, and we would like to set the record straight to say that yes, we are 100 percent in your demographic and we know who Alf is. In fact, Gordon was one of Kevin's nicknames when he was in school.

Speaker 5:
[31:43] Now, I'll raise another question that maybe we can get answered in the next Dazzling Donor message assuming that Kevin and Beth will be back for this next TBTL-a-thon. I wonder how Kevin felt about that. Would he embrace it?

Speaker 4:
[31:57] Being called Gordon?

Speaker 5:
[31:58] Yeah, because I think that's a great nickname because I love Alf. But you never know when somebody else puts a nickname on you. Do you like it?

Speaker 4:
[32:05] It sounds like that was done in a friendly spirit where they could have called him Cat Eater.

Speaker 5:
[32:10] True. That would have a different tinge to it.

Speaker 4:
[32:13] They could have given Alf related nickname with an edge. They could have called him Alien Life Form.

Speaker 5:
[32:17] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[32:18] They could have called him Willy. Wait, you do the Willy impressions around here.

Speaker 5:
[32:22] Willy. No, I'm rusty.

Speaker 4:
[32:25] Gordon was rusty. I think Gordon is a fairly benign nickname if you're plucking from the Alf verse. Wasn't there a story? I think we talked about this on the show, that the creator of Alf was allegedly really kind of a nut job.

Speaker 5:
[32:44] Yeah, the movie Permanent Midnight is about him, right? Oh, Jerry Stahl? I think he had a substance abuse issue, right?

Speaker 4:
[32:51] Well, I don't think this is Jerry Stahl, who I'm talking about, which means maybe this was the puppeteer or maybe the person who wrote it or whatever. The deal was that there was somebody associated with the production of Alf who wanted everyone to treat Alf like the puppet was a real entity.

Speaker 5:
[33:10] Mr. Chompers?

Speaker 4:
[33:12] Not ever refer to it as a puppet or whatever. And I think that this person really wanted Alf to have legs or something, like physical legs. Just wanted Alf to seem completely integrated into the show as another physical character, not like a puppet. Does that make sense? And would make people address the puppet in a weird way?

Speaker 5:
[33:35] Here's what... Now, I don't know if this flies in the face of what you're saying or confirms what you're saying, but just because I was curious about the words coming out of my mouth, it says here, Permanent Midnight is a drama based on Jerry Stahl's memoir depicting his rise as a top 90s TV writer while battling a severe $6,000 a week heroin addiction. Ben Stiller stars as Stahl. Does that still in line with what you're saying?

Speaker 4:
[33:59] I'm familiar with that movie. And I feel like this was not...

Speaker 5:
[34:04] That wasn't a Stahl thing?

Speaker 4:
[34:06] I don't think so. I think it was, like I said, the guy who invented the character and that he was... Paul Fusco is the guy who invented... Here we go. I'm going to just... Do you mind? Because it's Roku Tuesday.

Speaker 7:
[34:23] But the creator of ALF was so obsessed with people thinking that he was a real alien and not a puppet that it completely destroyed the popularity of the character and sabotaged his entire career. Everybody of a certain age remembers ALF, created in 1984 by Paul Fusco and became massively popular in the late 1980s, like Taylor Swift, Beatles popular. He had three TV shows, a sitcom and two cartoons. He had a video game. He starred in dozens of comics. But then suddenly, almost as quickly as he appeared, he just completely vanished. The two animated shows were canceled in 1989. And then in 1990, the sitcom ALF was abruptly canceled after only four seasons despite great ratings. And everybody just kind of stopped talking about ALF. And the reason was that Paul Fusco, ALF creator, was obsessed with people thinking that he was a real, actual alien that came down to earth and became an actor. And this obsession completely sabotaged his entire career. First of all, the sitcom ALF was insanely elaborate and tedious to shoot. And everybody involved in the show despised making it. Because Fusco refused to break the illusion of ALF being a puppet, he wouldn't let the studio audience ever see the puppeteers or the bottom part of the ALF puppet. And he also would never break character. So they had to build these elaborate trenches and tunnels throughout the bottom of the set so the puppeteers could travel through them while they were shooting and stay hidden. A complicated network of trenches was very dangerous and the cast and crew hated shooting on the set. Some of them even fell and hurt themselves during production.

Speaker 4:
[35:48] He's showing, by the way, this is somebody called Treehouse Detective on TikTok. He's showing a photo of this insane, like, trap door, like a coffin under a, beneath a giant hole in the floor of the set of ALF. So this is verified, at least this part of it.

Speaker 7:
[36:06] Method also made the production of the show take upwards of three times longer than any normal sitcom and made the show insanely expensive. Max Wright, the actor who played Willie on the show, Willie, did it so much and became so frustrated that one day he actually got into a physical fight with ALF. Not Paul Fusco, the puppeteer, the actual ALF puppet. He attacked it so overwhelmed by the technically demanding shoot and had to be pulled away. He was actually invited to host SNL multiple times, but each time Paul Fusco demanded that they would have to build elaborate trenches under the set of SNL and each time SNL politely declined. Cut to 2002 and ALF was invited to guest star on the 75th anniversary episode of SNL, but the production found his demand so frustrating that his role was drastically cut down to a very brief cameo. And then it...

Speaker 4:
[36:53] Anyway, so yeah, that was what I was thinking of.

Speaker 5:
[36:57] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[36:58] So add that to your ALF lore.

Speaker 5:
[37:00] No kidding. And Andrew, because if you've told me that I had forgotten that, I think I mean, that's two very colorful people involved with ALF. And so that's why I just thought it was the permanent midnight dude, because that alone is an absolutely bonkers story. Right. But I will say, I'm a little dubious of that person on that TikTok, because he said, nobody's talking about ALF anymore.

Speaker 4:
[37:29] Yeah, that's I mean, that that's the red flag right there.

Speaker 5:
[37:32] That's not true. We're literally talking about ALF right now.

Speaker 4:
[37:35] It's the only thing that Kevin and Beth Shumway talk about at parties.

Speaker 5:
[37:38] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[37:40] They're like, did you invite the ALF people? They're going to talk about ALF again. Yeah, it's very ALF and Roku. Those are the two pillars of TBTL.

Speaker 5:
[37:50] That's right. Nobody's talking about it.

Speaker 4:
[37:52] That's right. Thank you, Kevin and Beth. We really do appreciate your support. And yeah, we couldn't do this without you. Maestro?

Speaker 5:
[38:01] I didn't feel like waiting for some reason. I don't know what happened there.

Speaker 4:
[38:04] I've told you this, and it's even been put on the Internet. When you power outed me the other day, fire when ready.

Speaker 5:
[38:09] I don't know what happened.

Speaker 4:
[38:10] Anything that gets this torture over with.

Speaker 5:
[38:12] You know what? This show might just be, it might not be better, but it might be more speedy if you and I just talk at the exact same time.

Speaker 4:
[38:19] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[38:19] Just you tell your story. I'll tell my story. We'll just do it at the same time. And then we'll be out of here in a half hour. Maestro.

Speaker 4:
[38:26] On your mark. We'll talk over each other. Everyone can play it at 2x speed.

Speaker 5:
[38:32] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[38:33] And we'll do the whole show in 15 minutes.

Speaker 5:
[38:35] Everybody can get on with their lives.

Speaker 4:
[38:37] Look who it is. It's Shira Fatalee, as in wounded. I think I've been saying Shira's name wrong.

Speaker 5:
[38:46] I do, too.

Speaker 4:
[38:47] In the past.

Speaker 5:
[38:48] I think we both have been probably first and last name. So thank you for this clarification. Again, I'm really, as somebody who is very impressed with helpful pronouncers, I've been very impressed this week. Great pronouncers from the listeners.

Speaker 4:
[39:02] I feel like this has been the year of the pronouncers.

Speaker 5:
[39:04] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:05] Like, I feel like we've gotten some clarity on a number of names that I know I've just been butchering over the years. So I don't know if that's just people got fed up with it, or maybe the intake form is a little different or something. But somehow we're getting some real helpful... We had, what was it? Good Row as opposed to Bad Row.

Speaker 5:
[39:23] Bad Paddle. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:24] Bad Paddle. Good Row yesterday. Bad Paddle. Things like that. Shira Fatally, as in wounded, is in Eugene, Oregon. I'm going to be in Eugene, Oregon this weekend because Becca is running the Eugene Marathon.

Speaker 5:
[39:37] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:38] Shira, maybe I'll see you out there. I will not be running. I will be in my car looking at TikTok for three hours and then getting out at the finish line and cheering. It's going to be my job.

Speaker 5:
[39:47] Do you have to cut up some oranges? Hand out orange slices? Is that your role?

Speaker 4:
[39:50] I've got to do orange slices. I've got it. I'm team mom. So there's a lot of responsibility that comes with that. Actually, what I should do, I learned this at the New York City Marathon this last time because Becca's brother and his wife were running the New York City Marathon. At these marathons, if you're really a good supporter, it's not enough to just stand at the finish line and cheer. You have to do a shadow marathon where you are running to different points in the race and then cheering the person on.

Speaker 5:
[40:20] Actually running, running or just rushing?

Speaker 4:
[40:23] In New York, we were kind of running because it was really, it's New York City, it's Manhattan. So it was really packed and we were trying to get to a certain part of Central Park. We were trying to get to a certain part of the east side of Manhattan when they were coming down a certain way, then they loop around and then you're trying to beat them to the next spot. So you can be cheering for them as they're running by and you can scream for them. But when I was young, it was enough to just be at the finish line, but that's not the case. I probably have to go, what I should do? You know what I might do? I'll bring my e-bike and I'll ride to different points in the race. That could be kind of fun with my orange slices.

Speaker 5:
[40:58] It could be fun. It might be easier to navigate too than the city.

Speaker 4:
[41:02] Yeah, and I think Eugene will be a lot less hectic than Manhattan was. Anyway, Shira is down in Eugene and says, Greetings imaginary friendos. I'm expressing gratitude for your meandering. What? Us? Never. Woolly!

Speaker 5:
[41:18] There's a button on the remote control on the Roku and it looks like an asterisk. Luke, that's true.

Speaker 4:
[41:22] Yeah, what does that do?

Speaker 5:
[41:23] Hit that, that'll get you into the menus. That'll get you into some menus.

Speaker 4:
[41:27] I think it's interesting design that the Roku remote has that little fabric, little loop.

Speaker 5:
[41:32] Oh, the little tag. It's like a shirt tag almost on the bottom of it.

Speaker 4:
[41:35] It's like a shirt tag, but is that to hang the Roku on something? Because it's a loop, actually, if you look at it.

Speaker 5:
[41:40] Yeah, that's a really good point. I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[41:42] It's an interesting design. Yes, we do meander occasionally, Shira, and I'm glad that you can handle it. Shira says, You're meandering and you're vulnerable thought sharing. I couldn't decide which worthy cause to call out, so I'm going to lead with this. TBTL's consistent and fun audio styling gives me joy. The drops, the sound of your voices, the musical undercurrents are artfully maintained, suggesting effortless production. That's all on you, Andrew.

Speaker 5:
[42:07] Thank you. Appreciate it. I guess I'm failing you because I really try to make it seem like I'm putting a lot of effort into it. I'm always trying to justify my role here, and so the fact that it's effortless means I'm not complaining enough and I need to start doing that more.

Speaker 4:
[42:22] Yeah, you need to call attention to the work that you're putting in and get the credit where credit is due.

Speaker 5:
[42:28] I'm going to start every show with a sigh. I actually listen to a podcast now where every single time they introduce the co-host, they ask him a question. He's always, well, that's baseball or something along the lines. He knows baseball.

Speaker 4:
[42:44] So this is not comedy bang bang. This is not a character. This is somebody on the show.

Speaker 5:
[42:49] Yeah, he knows who he is. It's like he knows baseball. It's a podcast worth listening to. But his presentation is the most dour, almost unlistenable presentation. If he didn't know ball so well, there's no way I'd listen to it.

Speaker 4:
[43:08] Huh. We are no danger of that. We are all enthusiasm. We're light on information, but heavy on enthusiasm around here. Shira says, You often apologize for unavoidable audio flaws and how it isn't perfect. Imperfection is a beautiful aesthetic. Yes, I use that word in these uncertain times of AI-generated content. And then Shira includes an asterisk related song suggestion. My Old Ways by Tame Impala. So cool the way it kicks from the janky intro to the shiny chorus. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[43:44] Check that out.

Speaker 4:
[43:45] I'll give that a look. I've been listening to a lot of Tame Impala lately. It has cycled back into my life. That album, Currents, that he put out some years ago, that was like a daily listen for me.

Speaker 5:
[43:56] I'm still waiting for my real Tame Impala moment. Like I'll hear a song here and there, but it seems like something that I would be into, and they've been around for like 20 years now, like a long time, right? And I just kind of haven't had that moment.

Speaker 4:
[44:10] I think of Tame Impala as a new band, but he's probably been doing it for 15, 20 years.

Speaker 5:
[44:15] Early 2000s, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[44:17] I'm sure, I'm sure. It's just I'm not ready to recognize that. He's a really, really kind of heartbreaking lyricist, actually. Like I was listening to some of it when I was doing some weeding the other day, and he writes a lot of songs about breaking up that are actually... They're quite devastating, honestly, like lyrically. But anyway, Shira says, the past donor message triggered Luke... Oh, I see. So this would be last year when Shira was checking in from Eugene. The past donor message or a past donor message triggered Luke to talk about the University of Oregon's Hayward Field, a super swanky track facility. It is named for Bill Hayward, who coached the University of Oregon Ducks, named Webfootz in the early 1900s. That's a cool name.

Speaker 5:
[45:00] That is a cool name. Why would you change that?

Speaker 4:
[45:02] Webfootz is a very, very cool name. Fun fact, in his youth, Coach Hayward played on the world champion, Ottawa Capitals lacrosse team. Don't come in here like Coach Hayward of the Ottawa Capitals lacrosse team. Love to the Tens, Power Out. That's from Shira in New York. Shira, thank you so much for supporting the show and making this whole thing possible. We are forever in your debt.

Speaker 3:
[45:33] Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

Speaker 4:
[45:37] All right, let's get an update on the TBTL jalapenos, aka the junior sluggers. This is Coach Ben checking in from East Portland. Let me get the email back up here. I was reading dazzling donors. If you remember, Andrew, I believe the sluggers, when we last checked, were one and one.

Speaker 5:
[45:59] That's my memory of it.

Speaker 4:
[46:00] They had won the first game and then had, unfortunately, not prevailed in the second game. And Coach Ben says, since my last update, your TBTL junior sluggers, aka los jalapenos, have endured two rainouts and managed to get in two games. Portland's spring weather remains thoroughly two-faced, delivering stretches of bright sun-soaked perfection one day, only to wash everything out the next. I hear you, Coach Ben. That's the exact reality that we're living through right now. In fact, Becca texted me today and she said, if this is the weather on Sunday, she's not doing the Eugene Marathon.

Speaker 5:
[46:32] Oh, really? Do you think she would actually follow through with that? Or is she just saying that frustration right now?

Speaker 4:
[46:37] She does not. No, she does not enjoy being out in the cold and the rain. It's not her thing. Last Thursday, after nearly a full week of missed games and practices, the Jalapenos took the field against the Parkside Vipers. It was a dry but chilly evening. Many players were wearing hoodies, or in one case, a down winter jacket under their uniforms.

Speaker 5:
[46:59] Under the uniform.

Speaker 4:
[47:02] That's given real Fat Albert energy.

Speaker 5:
[47:04] Yeah, it is.

Speaker 4:
[47:05] Down winter jacket under the uniform. We love it. The spring chill and the long layoff made their presence known over the course of the game. Andrew, in literature, we call that foreshadowing.

Speaker 5:
[47:15] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[47:16] We call that forestag shadowing.

Speaker 5:
[47:19] Wait, do you want to explain that last year?

Speaker 4:
[47:21] That's Coach Ben's last name.

Speaker 5:
[47:22] Oh, I don't think anybody knew that.

Speaker 4:
[47:24] We just doxxed him.

Speaker 5:
[47:25] Sorry, Coach Ben.

Speaker 4:
[47:26] In typical jalapenos fashion, we got on the board early. Armani, our speedy leadoff hitter, drew a walk and promptly stole three bases. Wait a minute, does that mean home as well?

Speaker 5:
[47:36] Yeah, that must, right?

Speaker 4:
[47:37] One, two, three.

Speaker 5:
[47:38] Or does it mean three throughout the game or three right there in that...

Speaker 4:
[47:42] Well, let me finish the sentence because the answer is right there. Capping it off with a sliding steal of home on a past ball.

Speaker 5:
[47:51] Wow, all right. Love that.

Speaker 4:
[47:54] Armani, Willie Mays-Hayes, Crosby followed with a monster double to plate another run and we piled on five more in the second. Ollie, Nemo, Nico, Fox and Armani again all drew walks while Crosby added a single and Amos and Atlas each ripped doubles. Amos, one of our most reliable rotation stalwarts, had the start. The frosty weather definitely impacted his game as he struggled to stay loose and maintain a solid delivery. Amos battled through three frigid innings, often going up in the count and then struggling to get that last elusive strike. What is he? Ferrer?

Speaker 5:
[48:29] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[48:30] Also, credit where credit is due. The enemy has a name and his name is Malachi. Coaches note, I don't typically name check opposing players, but this kid earned it. Wow. Shots fired from Coach Ben.

Speaker 5:
[48:43] This kid is 25 years old.

Speaker 4:
[48:45] This kid was shaving between innings. He feasted on jalapeno pitching like it was Chili's Unlimited Apps Night. Launching a no doubt Homer in the first and a grand slam in the third. Hey, Andrew, have you ever seen a grand slam? You ever grand slam? Great guys. Great group of guys.

Speaker 5:
[49:10] When he says great group of guys, it kills me.

Speaker 4:
[49:12] That's a really great tag on the end of that. The final score was close, it never quite felt like it. Jalapenos, nine, Vipers, 11. I mean, considering the Shohei Otani-esque performance from this Malachi kid who had eight ribbies, honestly, nine to 11 isn't bad.

Speaker 5:
[49:33] Here's the thing, I'm going to try to put a twist on this for you.

Speaker 4:
[49:36] Yes, please do. Turn this frown upside down.

Speaker 5:
[49:39] When the opposing team feasts on the jalapenos, the jalapenos laugh last. What do we know about jalapenos? They laugh last.

Speaker 4:
[49:52] They burn you twice. They burn me twice.

Speaker 5:
[49:57] Exactly. So I hope that these do we... What are these vipers? I think vipers, they're having a rough Monday or Tuesday.

Speaker 4:
[50:03] They're remembering, they're being reminded of the jalapenos even as we speak.

Speaker 5:
[50:08] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[50:09] Hustle Pins were awarded to... Let's see here. I've got this right in front of me. Awarded to Crosby, Atlas and Fox. Now Saturday brought a much different vibe. A gloriously warm sunny morning against the Parkside Panthers. That's a good name too. I'll go with it. I like the alliteration. I like, you know, I like that it's an animal that I can identify. It's an animal that exists in nature. As has been the case a few times this season, one tough inning put us in an early hole. Armani, usually steady on the mound, struggled to find the strike zone in the first and a tight zone didn't help. Interesting. I think we're calling out the umps on this one. They don't have ABS there? Yeah. By the way, I stand by my prediction, Andrew, that this is the last season where they will allow the human umpires to call balls and strikes in Major League Baseball. This is my prediction. You're big on predictions lately. I'm big on this prediction. I don't mean that we won't have umps. They will still be back there. We need them for things. They will be indicating balls and strikes, but they will be getting the information from the robot. This is my prediction.

Speaker 5:
[51:10] I don't know about the timeline on that, but I got the impression that everybody sort of understood that once they can't... Yeah, but I mean this is an assumption that I had when people were still just talking about that the ABS thing in its current state was still in the future. I just sort of thought that everybody felt like they'll start with that and then they'll start turning it up more.

Speaker 4:
[51:31] I think that's right. And maybe it won't be after this season, but at some point, because as I've said before on the show, it's like we're now capable of knowing... I saw something else that I thought was very interesting, Andrew, which is the argument that when a pitch catches the tiniest bit of the zone, let's say 99% of the ball is not in the strike zone, but like a piece of thread from the threading of the baseball catches the zone, that shouldn't be a strike. And I actually kind of agree with that because think about it. The plate is essentially the strike zone, and it should really, in my opinion, be that more than 50% of the ball, if we can get even more granular with it, I feel like more than 50% of the ball should be in the hittable area. Not 99% of the ball not in the hittable area, and one thread of the baseball in the strike zone. Are you supposed to hit that one thread?

Speaker 5:
[52:19] You know, I remember you mentioning that one time, because I think that they showed it... I think we were in Wisconsin, just watching a game, actually coincidentally, the Mariners versus the Brewers. I don't remember you saying, but that's outside. I said, no, it's caught the zone. And you're like, I thought it has to be the majority of the ball. And I said, no, but I'm not putting a value judgment on that. As somebody who's only watched baseball in the modern era where you have that technology, that's just the way it's always been. It's like, if it catches the zone, it catches the zone. I don't necessarily agree or disagree with you. I think it's an interesting question. The person who was saying this, was it just another fan or was it somebody who actually has experience as an ump? Oh, okay.

Speaker 4:
[53:01] But I hadn't thought about that. Yeah, it seems like if the spirit of the rule is, the ball needs to be thrown in a place where the hitter should reasonably expect it to hit it. And if they don't, that's a strike, obviously. But if it's mostly not in the thing it's supposed to be in, and it just catches the edge, it feels to me like, you know, who knows? Anyway, it sounds like these were... The strike zone was pretty tight for our guy Armani in this Saturday game. The Panthers showed patience drawing eight walks and pushing across four runs and adding another in the second. But the Jalapenos didn't fold, and the third Zaya worked a walk, and Amos followed with a double to get us on the board. A larger rally was cut short when Amos was tagged out trying to steal home. He tried to pull in Armani. In the fourth, Victor and Fox each crossed the plate to bring us closer. From there, it turned into a pitching duel, and Crosby took center stage. He delivered 3.1 innings. I've heard of three and a third. I guess that's what that is, three and a third.

Speaker 5:
[54:03] So this is interesting. So Crosby's gone out there two days in a row, right? That was the first game on Friday. So...

Speaker 4:
[54:09] We're still coming back off of Tommy John's search.

Speaker 5:
[54:11] Right, exactly. But if I have this right, and I could be wrong, Crosby started Friday's game and then was a reliever and came out of the bullpen on Saturday. Is that what I'm hearing here?

Speaker 4:
[54:21] Let's see here. Crosby, I know Crosby got a double the other day. Looking back, I'm not sure. I think it would bog us down to much to who the pitcher was in the last game. But let's just say, I think Coach Ben has it under control. Let's see. Zaya worked a walk. Amos followed the double. A larger rally was cut short. We already mentioned this. Amos from there. It turned into a pitching duel. We've talked about this as well. Crosby delivered three in a third. Innings of one hit shutout baseball. Striking out nine and walking just one. Absolute lasers. Total command. A master class. Exactly when we needed it. Momentum was shifting and the Panthers knew it. They brought in their ace in the fourth, setting up a tense, high quality stretch of baseball. They brought in that high leverage arm. Yep, yep. Armani and Nemo made key defensive plays. Atlas was a wall behind the plate, and Crosby was robbed of a potential game tying hit by a spectacular catch and right. That sounds like some real Mariners energy. Like, I know I go on about this in the criminals text chain endlessly, but I can't let it go that we've had four home runs stolen. Like, that's just such a wild stat. I feel like eventually we're going to get some luck to bounce our way. I'm talking about the Mariners here, and also the Jalapenos for that matter.

Speaker 5:
[55:33] You know what I've been hearing people talk about a lot this season, or maybe I've just never noticed it, and now that I'm noticing it, it just sounds like it's everywhere, is I'm hearing people write and talk about... Babip? Babip? Are you familiar with this stat? It's a... I believe... This is my understanding of it, and I will say right now, I could be totally wrong. I haven't looked it up. It's only from contacts.

Speaker 4:
[55:53] Bruce Babip? Bruce, Secretary of the Interior?

Speaker 5:
[55:55] Babip, exactly. Oh, okay, so you are familiar. No, I believe it's applied to pictures, but it basically, and I could be totally wrong about this. I'm kind of pretty cringing.

Speaker 4:
[56:05] Bruce Babip was Secretary of the Interior.

Speaker 5:
[56:07] Good for you, man.

Speaker 4:
[56:08] Keep going, Bruce.

Speaker 5:
[56:09] What era?

Speaker 4:
[56:11] I don't even know.

Speaker 5:
[56:11] Okay. Probably when you're, maybe you were covering Congress, or is that why it's stuck in your brain? Yeah. But I think what it is, is it kind of points out the luck, or kind of the unluckiness of a picture based on how well their defense is supporting them. So in other words, if you have a high, it's because it's something about ball. It's like the batting, oh, you know what it is? It's batting average balls in play, babbip. So in other words, if a ball is in play, but your team doesn't, your shortstop or second base or whatever, doesn't snag that or whatever, or maybe it has to do with luck, because otherwise it would be errors, right? But it's sort of like, if you have a high babbip, it means that you're not actually throwing, you're not throwing terrible pitches. It's just that, like, they're just landing. They're just looping them out there, you know?

Speaker 4:
[57:04] And we've had, I think, very unlucky babbip in a few games. That game where we surrendered five runs in the ninth, my memory is like two of those hits literally chalked the line.

Speaker 5:
[57:14] Uh-huh, and was that for rare? Because that's the context I was hearing this in, is that for rare is getting screwed.

Speaker 4:
[57:19] It was Munoz and then it was maybe for rare or Bizzardo. They brought somebody in, that was where Munoz didn't even make it through the night.

Speaker 5:
[57:28] Well, that was the complete meltdown.

Speaker 4:
[57:29] Okay, that was the complete meltdown game. But it was also just Unlucky Babbit for us, where it was kind of like, yeah, the balls. It's not an error because that's easily trackable. It's this kind of other weird thing of just like, it sounds like you're saying kind of you're hitting it and it's just kind of unlucky where it's going. Momentum was shifting. The Panthers knew it. They brought in their ace. Crosby was robbed. In the end, we came up short. Panthers six, Jalapenos three. But this was without question our best all around game of the season. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[58:00] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[58:00] Keep bringing this level of focus, energy and grit. The winds are coming. Next up, it's Wednesday versus the best named team in the league. The Parkside Canned Corn, Coach Ben out. That's a solid, solid name.

Speaker 5:
[58:20] Oh my God. That reminds me of there's this commercial that is airing right now that has Cal Raleigh in it. Have you seen this? It's an insurance.

Speaker 4:
[58:28] I've seen it muted and it has a can of corn in it, right?

Speaker 5:
[58:32] Luke, it is some of the worst writing. So when products and services like to advertise during baseball games, both on radio and television, they love to make baseball analogies. They love it so much. Veves and I still have a joke that goes back. 15 years ago, there used to be a commercial that would run during the radio broadcast and say, hit a home run with your friends and family. Take them on a train. And it was just like such a... They feel like they need to somehow reference bats and balls and home runs and dingers or whatever, while they're selling sighting or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[59:08] So tortured.

Speaker 5:
[59:09] Yes. But now there's this insure... But sometimes it's just something simple like hit a home run with your friends and family, take them on a train. It's innocuous. It's cute or whatever. But then they try... Oh, here it is. Pemko. I want to see if I can play this for you. And they're using all these baseball analogies. They're saying, I don't understand this insurance. And there's a couple in their kitchen. I don't understand this insurance. What do these terms mean? Then Cal Raleigh shows up, I believe in full catcher's gear. I could be wrong about that. And then he's like, oh, it's simple. I blame him only partially because he just is such a terrible actor, but also the lines are awful. They're doing him no favors, and they try to make these analogies between insurance and baseball that make no sense. The second one, I don't think makes sense, but nobody knows because it's way too convoluted. And then also, the third one is something like it's a can of corn. And what does he do? Like, Luke, what does a can of corn mean in baseball? What is that? What is an easy fly ball? It's like it's dropping out of the sky. You know the origin of it, right? It was like a wasn't it like a woman would like catch it in her skirt. She'd hold out her skirt.

Speaker 4:
[60:15] She'd knock the story goes that the grocer would knock the can of corn off of the high shelf with a broom and the woman would catch it in her skirt.

Speaker 5:
[60:22] And then because it's just like a but what does he do when the can of corn reference comes up in this? He fires it as fast as he can. And somebody catches the corn. You're like, if you're going to make a can of corn reference, why are you firing it like a bullet out of a cannon? Like it's just, it is one of the most, are you Googling around? I'm looking forward here. I'm so infuriated by this commercial.

Speaker 4:
[60:43] Like I said, I've seen it, but it's always been with the audio down. So I just have seen him holding the can of corn in his mitt, I believe.

Speaker 5:
[60:50] Yeah, let me see. I see that King Five did a story on it. So, you know, on the commercial. Oh, good. It's about the behind the scenes.

Speaker 4:
[60:58] What does one of Seattle's most beloved athletes and an insurance company have in common?

Speaker 7:
[61:03] Turns out, more than you'd think.

Speaker 5:
[61:05] No, I'm so angry these days.

Speaker 4:
[61:12] Well, go sluggers, go jalapenos, get them next time. Should I activate the top story sound effect or just jump into this parachute story?

Speaker 5:
[61:19] That is up to you.

Speaker 4:
[61:20] I already played the top story sound effect.

Speaker 5:
[61:22] Oh, you did? Okay, great.

Speaker 4:
[61:23] It was so long ago, I forgot about it. We are now in the Badlands, though. So just remember that going for us, which is nice.

Speaker 5:
[61:29] Just remember, we're authentic.

Speaker 4:
[61:31] Andrew, this is called authenticity. This is democracy manifest. This is authenticity. This is the Badlands. This really is the Badlands because there's no way that this is going to really translate as audio. The thing that jumped out at me about this story, first, I'm going to play you this little news story about this parachute incident that happened. It was one of those typical kind of like, you know, military special forces parachute, like jump down into the stadium at Virginia Tech. It was their spring football game and one of the parachutists got caught on the scoreboard and was dangling.

Speaker 3:
[62:24] Retired Army Special Operations Master Sergeant Pasha Polanker has more than 700 jumps under his belt, but only one has ended with him hanging from a jumbotron.

Speaker 6:
[62:36] There were unexpected windshears that just...

Speaker 4:
[62:39] By the way, not even knowing this guy's background, I'm guessing he only had one jump that involved him hanging from a jumbotron.

Speaker 5:
[62:46] Yeah, right?

Speaker 4:
[62:47] That's not the reason I grabbed this news article or this news story, but it just occurred to me that like, I think it's a pretty safe bet that this is the one time he's been hanging from a jumbotron.

Speaker 6:
[62:57] Came out of nowhere.

Speaker 3:
[62:58] He was one of three skydivers performing before the football game at Virginia Tech Saturday.

Speaker 6:
[63:03] Unexpected gust started to push me backwards.

Speaker 3:
[63:06] He felt a gust of wind and made a split-second decision.

Speaker 6:
[63:10] It looked like I was going to land on the crowd, which could have been pretty dangerous. At that point, the safest thing for me to do would be to cut away the flag, but then again, the flag would fall.

Speaker 4:
[63:19] He's got this huge American flag that's like hanging from him, but it's got a big weight at the bottom so that it's staying kind of unfurled. So if he cuts away the American flag, he's going to kill someone in the audience with the giant lead ball that's holding the American flag. So anyway, so he decides to sort of veer back away from the crowd, but then get stuck on the side and hit the fans.

Speaker 6:
[63:41] So then I looked to the field that was right outside the stadium, and that's where my plane was going to go. And as I was turning to try and go into that field, another wind shear came in and just slammed me into that jumbotron.

Speaker 3:
[63:55] The lanker hanging from the screen for about 20 minutes before first responders were able to rescue him. He hurt his shoulder, but is otherwise...

Speaker 4:
[64:03] Now I saw this clip of this thing happening, and what jumped out at me, this was from somebody's cell phone, is, and I'll kind of take you through it, it's the parachutist is coming down, and so he's like swinging around, he gets stuck on the sign, and then he's now hanging, fully dangling from the sign, and that is when the music plays this exact thing.

Speaker 5:
[64:33] I had never heard it with audio on, that is amazing.

Speaker 4:
[64:36] He's hanging from the sign.

Speaker 5:
[64:41] Is this like Chiverches or whatever? This is one of those bands that you and I...

Speaker 4:
[64:47] This is a guy who is named, this is what obsessed me yesterday morning when I was looking at this article. It's a guy named Sam Tenez. And he is like a, I guess, a singer and songwriter and producer in Nashville. This is his big hit song. But there's just something about this guy hanging by his parachute from the Jumbotron as this is how legends are made. It's just like the greatest.

Speaker 5:
[65:16] I love it. It's got such that TC. Tugger's vibe of music. Now you're playing with the big boys. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 4:
[65:24] Totally. It's just like the height of failure. This is how legends are made. And then so I went, I was like, who does this song? So I look it up and it's this guy, Sam Tenez. And I know that we're not, we try not to be yum yuckers on this show anymore. In the early days of TBTL, I personally was so kind of disparaging about stuff that people like. And I really try to not do that as much. But I will have to tell you that this song, This Is How Legends Are Made, is really kind of bad. Like, and I sort of have Legends are made.

Speaker 5:
[65:59] You've never heard this before, huh? See, like this.

Speaker 4:
[66:01] No, no, no, I've heard it a million times.

Speaker 5:
[66:03] Yeah, I feel like I've always I feel like this song has just always been in the background of events like this.

Speaker 4:
[66:09] It's like written for sporting events, which I guess, you know, it is it is what it is. But it's like these are some of the lyrics. I've got that lightning inside me. Son of a God, I'm like a Titan that's rising. Oh, just you watch, I'm stepping into fate. There is no time to waste. I've got that lightning inside me. This is how legends are made. And I'm willing to say that I think this song is making America a worse place because I feel like we both suffer from insecurity as a people and as a nation and also hyper security. Too many people are hyping themselves up to be legendary with songs like this when I don't think this is the best way to approach it. And I was like, okay, what is the life of this guy who wrote this song? This is how legends are made because, of course, I didn't know who he was. I've never seen him perform. It's not like Imagine Dragons or something where you can like you've heard of the band and they've played in an arena near you. I was like, what's it look like to be the guy who sings This Is How Legends Are Made because it's both a ubiquitous song, but nobody could tell you who does the song.

Speaker 5:
[67:12] What if you saw him and he was just like, I do a crisp because he literally had lightning inside him at one point.

Speaker 4:
[67:19] Would you feel under?

Speaker 5:
[67:20] How would you feel about that?

Speaker 4:
[67:22] The natural result of lightning. I would feel bad.

Speaker 5:
[67:25] I would actually be like, Oh, my God, this is actually a song about his trauma.

Speaker 4:
[67:28] So I was like, what is it? What does it look like to write a huge hit song that's been licensed a billion times for the NFL and Ford trucks and all of this stuff and army parachute teams, etcetera, Virginia Tech. But also nobody knows who you are. Can you tour with that song? Can you play like arenas and just sing? Because it's such a weirdly for how forefront the song is. It's also weirdly a background song. You know what I mean? It just plays when you're at the stadium while you're going to get a beer. It just occupies this weird liminal space of music. So I was like, what is going on for this guy? So I went to his website and looked up his tour. And I was like, huh, this guy's playing a lot of fields, like stadiums, like baseball stadiums. But at weird times, he's playing floor field in Greenville, South Carolina at 430, and then the next day at 430. Then he's playing it at 10 a.m. on Sunday? Is this how legends are made? And then he's playing Carmax Park in Richmond, Virginia? I'm looking at his tour, and I realize, oh, it's because he's opening for the Savannah Bananas.

Speaker 5:
[68:42] Oh, I knew I knew he was going to be playing for a sports team, a probably a baseball team, a Savannah Bananas.

Speaker 4:
[68:49] Isn't that perfect, Andrew, that this guy, the guy who made the This Is How Legends Are Made song is part and parcel with the Savannah Bananas. Isn't that just absolutely ideal?

Speaker 5:
[69:00] I mean, I got to just give you credit for it because I had seen on blue sky or whatever that image of the parachute. Like, I don't know, I just kept seeing it on Sunday or whatever that was. And I don't think I ever listened to it with the audio up. And the idea, I mean, it's like a modern comedy. Like that scene, like somebody doing that, a main character doing that.

Speaker 4:
[69:22] It's like something in Arrested Development, right?

Speaker 5:
[69:23] Yes. And then-

Speaker 4:
[69:26] Job parachuting in for the Aztec tomb or whatever?

Speaker 5:
[69:30] Then the song that he had prepped kicks on. And it's, that's how, this is how legends are made. As Job is literally hanging for 20 minutes. And again, I'm not actually laughing at this guy's experience, this parachuter's experience.

Speaker 4:
[69:44] And he was fine.

Speaker 5:
[69:44] Yeah, he was fine. I'm glad he was fine. It actually seems really scary. And you know me, I'm scared of heights. I don't want to hang like that. But like, you're right, it is absolutely Jobian.

Speaker 4:
[69:55] Nobody cut, like, there was no way to tell the PA guy, cut the music, stop playing. This is how legends are made, because this guy is hanging by a literal thread. Now, I was thinking about this song and I was like, if there is a particular brand of songwriting that is most endangered by AI, it's this kind of music, right?

Speaker 5:
[70:13] Oh, sure.

Speaker 4:
[70:14] And I wondered, how hard would it be for me to use AI to write a song like this? And the answer, Andrew, is not hard at all. I went on Suno and I put in Stadium Rock's song about being legendary, and this is what it spit out. So, there you go. That took under one minute to create what I would say is an equally good song.

Speaker 5:
[71:20] That, I'm trying to figure if I want to get into this with you or not. There's something I was doing the other day that was very much unlike me. And this was, this was after I'd gotten into my fight with my car, with the virtual assistants and my, you know, Kitey Bach. Auto or whatever. Yes, exactly. But I've never been super curious of using AI as a creative tool. Like for TBTL stuff, I don't want to use it. And just for the record, like for a little behind the scenes thing, like for graphic design stuff that goes beyond me, making a janky looking postal truck, like we have conversations like we want to hire people to do that. Like for the first time in my professional life, like I'm just in charge of the budget. I don't have to get permission from anybody, assuming that you and me and John are on the same page with things, which so far we have been. It's kind of like, well, if we're going to get this done, like let's hire somebody to do it. Like let's be those people that I've always wanted to be. But I had bosses telling me, no, we can't spend money on that. And I'm not saying that we're spending thousands and thousands of dollars. We've hooked up with listeners who've made stuff for us. But like we think it's important to support artists who do creative things. So I never just go to some AI thing and say, generate a logo for us or something like that. And I'm also not super interested in it as a pastime. Although I know that it's kind of fun. Like, hey, we have these tools now. Why don't you make a song that does this? And I don't know what it was, Luke, and I'm going to be honest with you, I think it might have been the influence of drugs. But I was, Veves and I, our lives, not to overstate this, but just like the puppy energy in our lives has really just changed basically everything. We're trying to... Lucy will just kind of... She's great. We have great times with her, but also sometimes she just unleashes puppy energy that cannot be expressed and she just has to scream around the house, and she hasn't really destroyed anything important, but we have to be kind of constantly vigilant, and we're getting up at crazy hours and everything. And so we've been walking around in a bit of a daze and a sleep deprivation thing for a bit. And I was in one of those modes where I was like, Oh, Genevieve, okay, it's the end of a long day. Like I'm going to go take a long shower. Like you're on Lucy duty or whatever. And I might have eaten a gummy or something. I'm standing in the shower and I go to turn something on on my phone to listen to a podcast. And my phone is like, Hey, there's some new functions on your phone you might want to check out. Never in my life have I ever, ever been like, Oh, show me these new functions, phone. Like I make phone calls and take pictures. That's all I care about. But I was again, I think because I was just like, I just had this little moment of alone time in the shower, maybe a little bit buzzed and I'm just like, all right, show me what you got, phone. It's like, what about this Gemini feature where you can make your own songs or whatever? I'm like, all right, let's just do it. Let's just see. I was in the mood to listen to some jazz and I was like, I wonder if I just told this thing to take, I specifically had an album in mind. I don't know why it was, but I think I was like, take Sonny Rollins style like, no, it said you can make remixes using real tracks. So I told Gemini, I said, take this song, this is Sonny Rollins, he's a saxophone player. I said, take East Broadway Rundown. This is like a song from I'm going to guess the 60s or 70s, straight bop jazz or whatever. Take East Broadway Rundown, but remix it in a 90s chill jazz hip hop, almost diggable planets way. And it released something, but I didn't want any lyrics on it. I just wanted a vibe for a second. And why I wouldn't just put on diggable planets or Sonny Rollins, I don't know. I was just playing around with this damn thing. And then I kind of got sucked in because it gave me something. Oh, it gave me some lyrics. And I'm like, I didn't really want lyrics, but then once I was kind of playing around with it, I'm like, all right, I'll give you some lyrics. Give me lyrics about a sad clown in all of those things. And then I kept on telling it to slow it down. I'm like, OK, so make a sunny...

Speaker 4:
[75:27] Is it writing the lyrics?

Speaker 5:
[75:29] It was writing the lyrics. At first, I didn't want lyrics at all. I said, make it an instrumental. But then once I knew that it wanted to make lyrics, I'm like, OK, fine, you can give it lyrics, but make the lyrics from the perspective of a sad clown. And I'm going to walk you through. So this is the first one it gave me. This is not the sad clown lyrics. This was me just telling it, I want a Sonny Rollins style song with a hip hop vibe to it from the 90s. And I think this is what it gave me first. So far, no saxophone.

Speaker 4:
[76:07] Is this Macklemore?

Speaker 5:
[76:09] This is so bad, is what it is. Like, we don't need a poor man's common. We already got common. So anyway. So then I said, make, I said, do the same thing but make it an instrumental. Cause I, you know, there's no saxophone in there until the very, very end. And so then, then it gave me this, which is what I was more looking for. And I'm sorry, I know this is probably pissing off a lot of listeners, because it's not great for the environment just to screw around with this stuff, but this is literally the only time that I was actually like, kind of being like, okay, let me just see what this stuff is all about. I complain about it all the time. So I said, I like that last track you made for me. Can you make a 60 second version? The answer to that is always no. It only makes 30 second versions of things. That includes a short keyboard solo, because I liked some of the keys that I heard in that one. It has like kind of an organ sound. And I still sort of liked that. And I was like, okay, now we're new to this. And then I was like, okay, can you, I said, add laid back lyrics to this. The lyrics are from the perspective of a sad clown. Oh, I know what happened. I did get mad at this. I told it, can you add laid back rap lyrics to that in a voice that sounds like Jerry Lewis? The lyrics should be about a sad clown. That's what it was. That's how I...

Speaker 4:
[77:36] A sad Nazi clown?

Speaker 5:
[77:37] That's how I got on the sad clown thing. I wanted them to take that vibe and then add Jerry Lewis doing a sad clown rap over top of it. But this stupid thing said, I've hit the pause button on this one. Since I'm in beta, I'm staying extra cautious in avoiding music for potentially sensitive topics or those involving specific public figures.

Speaker 4:
[77:57] Blavin!

Speaker 5:
[77:58] Distinct vocal likenesses. So I'm like, okay, you're not going to give me Jerry Lewis' voice because it's copyright. But then I said, fine, add laid back lyrics to this. The lyrics are from the perspective of a sad clown. The voice should be comical and high pitched and male. And this is what it gave me. Sorry, I know I say male funny. It's why I'm trying to say post office more than male these days.

Speaker 4:
[78:47] I would get to Jerry Lewis, though.

Speaker 5:
[78:48] Yeah, and then I kept saying, I kept trying to say make it higher. It wouldn't do it. And then I started saying, okay, fine, I'll just try to make this good. Like, just keep the lyrics. I mean, the lyrics are cheesy. But I kept saying, make them chill. Bury the lyrics in the mix. Like, this voice that they have, and this is where you kind of really run up to the limits of AI. Like, it's always this intense, like you sort of said, almost Macklemore-esque. Like, I kept saying, like, no, bury the lyrics, bury the vocals in the mix, make it almost sound like a whisper. I kept saying, like, slow it down, slow it down, and make it a...

Speaker 4:
[79:25] Like, make it sound like Morchiba.

Speaker 5:
[79:28] I don't know if that is.

Speaker 4:
[79:29] Or Portishead. Oh, yeah. This is definitely the best of the three.

Speaker 5:
[79:40] Yeah, it kept going. Yeah, and it kept slowing it down, which was good. But then I would say, okay, I was trying to praise the machine, Luke. I was literally trying to praise the machine.

Speaker 4:
[79:49] I've always said, don't praise the machine.

Speaker 5:
[79:50] I know. I said, okay, you... Oh, no, that's where I started to get sassy with it. Because I said, this is so close earlier on. Just make the vocal softer, almost a whisper. Bury the vocals in the mix. And it just kept on putting them forefront, forefront, forefront until I finally said, okay, you clearly only do one kind of vocal mix. You don't know how to actually mix levels. I don't care personally, but I thought you might want to tell your masters. As you can see, Luke, I still have a very complicated relationship with AI.

Speaker 4:
[80:18] You're still carrying around some frustration after that incident in Too Beautiful.

Speaker 5:
[80:22] I most certainly was. I think this might have even been the same day, coincidentally. I kind of feel bad for doing that because God knows how many fucking water reserves... Sorry for the language. How many water reserves I literally just drained by doing this thing I don't even really care about, only to end it the way I always end these things, which is in snarky frustration. But I just wanted to sort of see how far can I take it? And you really quickly hit the limits of what these machines can actually do.

Speaker 4:
[80:51] Yeah, and you wonder if that's something that will improve. It's sort of Moore's Law, I guess. Is it going to improve exponentially and get to where it's actually legit good? Or is there some sort of a ceiling to it, or a barrier of what a prediction machine can actually do? I mean, that shitty legend song I had it write is actually pretty close to what those songs really sound like. But when it comes to more nuanced, when it comes to writing something that actually sounds like diggable planets, I wonder if there's some sort of a barrier that can never be crossed by this kind of technology, or if it needs to get better and it will.

Speaker 5:
[81:32] I know, that's why I was kind of glad. I know, that's not like I don't want it to be that good because I want the human element.

Speaker 4:
[81:38] I'm kind of relieved.

Speaker 5:
[81:40] Always to be in there. So sorry, I didn't mean to go on that whole thing, but it's like I didn't realize that you and I, possibly on the same evening, we're doing something that I don't think you and I do very often at all, if ever, which is using AI to make songs for us.

Speaker 4:
[81:54] I was having AI write me the song Crown on Fire.

Speaker 5:
[81:57] Oh, is that what it's called?

Speaker 4:
[81:59] It's called Crown on Fire. I kept asking it to sing like Dean Martin. I mean, it really is... If you didn't know the day I wrote this song, you would absolutely believe this is a song that's playing at halftime of a Dallas Mavericks game.

Speaker 5:
[82:27] Yeah. But it's also condemnation of that kind of music.

Speaker 4:
[82:34] I mean, honestly, the people that write this kind of music should be quaking in their boots more than anybody else. Like, as you just proved, diggable planets, they're going to be okay for a while.

Speaker 5:
[82:46] Sorry. Go ahead. I think you're going to like this. This is... You remember this.

Speaker 4:
[82:49] Andrew, you don't give them as a joke.

Speaker 5:
[82:50] This is clear blue fire.

Speaker 4:
[82:52] It's not a joke and you don't give them as a joke. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[82:55] People forget that this is a real song that Jim Robinson...

Speaker 4:
[82:58] I think I didn't even know that until you told me.

Speaker 5:
[83:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[83:06] And for those who don't know, it's in this, I think you should leave sketch about a T-shirt called TC Tuggers that has a little knob in the belly area. And it's so if you're a guy and you've got kind of a belly, you're not constantly pulling on your T-shirt.

Speaker 5:
[83:19] You're pulling on the T-shirt.

Speaker 4:
[83:21] You've got a little knob on there.

Speaker 5:
[83:22] Is it a joke?

Speaker 4:
[83:24] You don't. It's not a joke and you don't give them as a joke. Andrew, what's so incredible about that sketch is you remember how it's unveiled.

Speaker 5:
[83:33] He's in a high school.

Speaker 4:
[83:34] I don't know if I remember the details in it's like it starts off as like a Dawson's Creek style teen kind of teen soap opera show. So it doesn't start off as a commercial for these T-shirts. It starts off as like these two very attractive teenagers are having an argument about somebody kissing someone after the dance or whatever. And they're I think teacher or principal is Tim Robinson. And he walks over to them in the context of this show. And they notice that he has this weird T-shirt on. And then from there, it ends up going into a commercial for TC Tuggers.

Speaker 5:
[84:06] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[84:07] Where that song is. And it's a bunch. It's a bunch of guys that spiritually look like Kyle Gass from Tenacious D. He might literally be in there. If it's not actually a bunch of guys that have that general energy, I would never know that name. But like, and they're doing this kind of like, you know, they're just sort of dancing around and pulling on their shirts. And that's playing that song, which has a real... Who does that song?

Speaker 5:
[84:31] Clear Blue Fire. Clear Blue Fire. Yeah. It's called Clear Blue Fire. And it's called Are You Ready For This, Luke? Are you ready for this?

Speaker 4:
[84:41] I am. Tomorrow, maybe we should talk, Andrew, about the fact that Infowars has now relaunched. It's been relaunched by The Onion. And you know who is at the helm?

Speaker 5:
[84:55] Yes. I saw this and now I'm blanking. Who is it again? I know I saw it.

Speaker 4:
[85:00] Tim Heidecker.

Speaker 5:
[85:01] That's right. It's Tim. Right. I saw that headline. I need to dig into it.

Speaker 4:
[85:05] I can't think of a better fit for a kind of conspiracy minded. My sense of it is that it's going to be basically a parody of Infowars for people that don't know. And by the way, congratulations on not knowing, because the website that Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist, used for many years, which he lost after he was sued by the Sandy Hook parents. And so The Onion bought the website. I guess we're just doing the story now. And they've relaunched it. But it's still Infowars. That's still the URL. But they're just, I think, going to be pumping out a bunch of Onion conspiracy theory kind of parody content. But here's what's kind of cool. They're donating a significant portion of their profits to the Sandy Hook families. Which is very, very cool.

Speaker 5:
[85:48] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[85:48] You know, so that's something that will be both, I think, probably funny and weird and kind of going to a good cause.

Speaker 5:
[85:54] If we do end up hitting that story again tomorrow, I heard a really moving piece of like, like two minutes of tape of I don't know the fella's name, but he's somebody who works for the Onion or maybe runs the Onion. Do you know the name of the fella who runs the Onion now?

Speaker 4:
[86:08] I can't remember, but I don't anymore. I used to. But this guy, I saw a guy being interviewed today who is in charge of the Onion and I didn't recognize him, but I bet you that's who you're quoting.

Speaker 5:
[86:17] He said that with the Pablo Tori thing. It was the Pablo Tori thing. Maybe if we revisit this tomorrow, I'll play the tape for everybody because it was really, really moving. It wasn't funny. It was why you do something like this and why this is important and what bravery really means in this day and age and how it's been sort of misappropriated. And anyway, so I thought it was really powerful tape, maybe we can play that tomorrow.

Speaker 4:
[86:41] Absolutely. Andrew, as we always say on this show, this is how legends are made.

Speaker 5:
[86:45] That is what we always say on this show.

Speaker 4:
[86:47] We put, we light the crown on fire and we say, this is how legends are made.

Speaker 5:
[86:51] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[86:52] All right. That's going to do it for today's episode of TBTL. But we will be back tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please swing on by for that. In the meantime, everybody have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourself. Stay dry. You're near where I am. And please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all.

Speaker 1:
[87:15] I just don't get it.

Speaker 7:
[87:16] These insurance terms are such inside baseball.

Speaker 3:
[87:19] What even is an umbrella policy?

Speaker 1:
[87:22] Think of it like a cutoff man.

Speaker 4:
[87:24] Extra coverage if you need it.

Speaker 7:
[87:27] Nice swing, kid.

Speaker 3:
[87:28] So what else do you want to know?

Speaker 2:
[87:29] So then what is gap coverage?

Speaker 7:
[87:31] It's like driving in the winning run.

Speaker 1:
[87:33] Your coverage won't come up short.

Speaker 4:
[87:34] Pemko makes a real can of corn.

Speaker 5:
[87:37] Can of corn.

Speaker 2:
[87:38] It means easy.

Speaker 3:
[87:40] Oh, that is easy.

Speaker 2:
[87:42] Thanks, Cal.

Speaker 7:
[87:45] Power out.