transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:11] This is The Relic Radio Show old time radio entertainment still standing the test of time from relicradio.com. Welcome back to The Relic Radio Show, 16 minutes of radio drama every Tuesday at relicradio.com. A quick reminder, if you'd like to help support this and all of The Relic Radio Show's, visit donate.relicradio.com or click on the support link in the show notes. Your support makes all of this possible and has since the beginning, 19 years ago. Thanks again to those who have helped out. This week, we're going to begin with The Philip Morris Playhouse and The Iron Man from July 29, 1949. After that, it's The Six Shooter and The Shooting Of Wyatt King. That story aired May 20, 1954.

Speaker 2:
[01:02] Johnny presents The Philip Morris Playhouse, produced, edited and directed by William Spear. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling to wake up fresh with No Cigarette Hangover. Yes, you'll be glad tomorrow. You smoked Philip Morris today. And now we bring you The Iron Man, tonight's production in The Philip Morris Playhouse.

Speaker 3:
[02:06] There won't be no crepe hung out for Rodney. No fancy flowers, nor blue-surged berrion clothes, nor pole-bearers from the lodge. Not now. No. No kind of send-off at all. Rodney's taken the big trip all alone. He never had no friends. Nobody cared much about Rodney, whether he lived or died or had a place to lay his head at night. Nobody, that is, except Doc and Jerry and me. So, I guess now that Rodney has took off for real, it's up to me to write his biology.

Speaker 4:
[02:48] Doc, where am I?

Speaker 5:
[02:50] Give me the blotter.

Speaker 6:
[02:51] I'm lousing up the whole stinking page.

Speaker 3:
[02:58] The story of Rodney Donahue is best told, like most stories, from the beginning. But before we start, I must ask you to hold on to your hat, because the whole thing is pretty incredulous. I've been tending bar at the Shamrock Club for 15 years. You know, sherry a dime, rye two bits, hold on to your glass when the L goes by. Well, I ain't the worrying kind, and neither are Doc and Jerry, my partners. But this particular winter, business was null and void. A malicious wave of temperance had apparently hit our district. The drinkers were staying away in droves. And it couldn't have happened but a waste of time. Mr. Stevens, the guy who held the mortgage on the joint, finally come in one day and laid it on the line.

Speaker 5:
[03:50] Get it up!

Speaker 3:
[03:51] The Relic Radio Show Twelve hundred bucks in two weeks. Doc came in right after Stephen's left, so I told him right away. But Jerry was busy all day driving his taxi cab, so I couldn't tell him that night. The final was outside.

Speaker 5:
[04:16] $1,200, sure, sure, it's a cinch. And while you're wrapping it up, throw in the moon.

Speaker 3:
[04:20] Listen, Jerry, you're taking in $10 a day, driving that taxi, huh?

Speaker 5:
[04:23] I ain't prepared to cope with $1,200.

Speaker 4:
[04:26] Doc, don't look at me.

Speaker 3:
[04:28] Only $1,200 I'll ever seize in my social security number.

Speaker 5:
[04:31] I knew we shouldn't have done it.

Speaker 3:
[04:33] What?

Speaker 5:
[04:33] That sure thing at Hylia. I never knew a horse could run backwards.

Speaker 3:
[04:37] Well, that was your idea of putting the grand on him.

Speaker 4:
[04:39] Skip it, no use haggling now.

Speaker 3:
[04:42] If we could only find somebody looking for a worthy cause...

Speaker 4:
[04:45] That's just what the Shamrock is, a worthy cause, a shelter for every stumble bum on the avenue.

Speaker 3:
[04:51] What do you mean, stumble bum? There's one out there right now at the bar. Compactment? Yeah, two bits worth of sherry and he stays all night.

Speaker 4:
[04:57] Why don't you get rid of him?

Speaker 3:
[04:58] Well, I don't know, Doc, I can't... That's what's keeping our regular trade away, stumble bums.

Speaker 5:
[05:03] Yeah, maybe that's it.

Speaker 3:
[05:04] I wouldn't want to set up the bar if there was a guy on my elbow hitting me for a free ride every two minutes, would you? I never thought of that. Well, throw him out.

Speaker 5:
[05:11] Oh, Doc.

Speaker 3:
[05:12] Doc, it's below zero outside. The poor guy... You got his dough, didn't you? Yeah, I got his... Okay, throw him out. Second of motion. Okay, gents, out he goes. His name was Rodney Donahue, and he was a bar fly like Campagnol. Only worse, he probably lost the longest weekend since the calendar was invented. 90 proof right up to the ears. He was sitting at the bar the next night, just like Campagnol was, and I was about to give him the business. Rodney, Rodney, wake up.

Speaker 5:
[06:06] One moment, officer. You've got no right to assume that just because I... Oh, oh, Michael, boy, when did you come in?

Speaker 3:
[06:15] I've been here all night. Look, you want another drink?

Speaker 5:
[06:17] Oh, to be sure, I want another drink. Only one difficulty.

Speaker 3:
[06:20] Yeah, yeah, I know. You're fresh out of money.

Speaker 5:
[06:23] How accurately you divine my hidden purpose. But seriously, old man...

Speaker 3:
[06:27] Look, the house ain't buying tonight, Rodney, and sleeping quarters is outside. Now, suppose you get yourself off that stool and just...

Speaker 5:
[06:34] Oh, I couldn't think of going the night's young.

Speaker 3:
[06:36] I'm sorry, Rodney. Look, new policy. What's the matter, Jack?

Speaker 5:
[06:41] You seen the evening paper?

Speaker 3:
[06:42] No, what? Where's Doc? In the back room. What's the matter?

Speaker 5:
[06:45] Come on.

Speaker 3:
[06:45] I got a tent for Rodney here. No, this is more important. Okay, lay down. I'll be with you in a minute, Rodney.

Speaker 5:
[06:52] Doc, you seen the paper?

Speaker 3:
[06:54] No. For gosh sakes, what is it?

Speaker 5:
[06:55] Now listen. What? Man dies of exposure in Central Park. The frozen body of Ernest Compagno, an itinerant, that's Italian, was discovered in Central Park this morning by patrolman Joseph Roche of the city police.

Speaker 3:
[07:09] Compagno?

Speaker 5:
[07:10] Wait a minute. Condition of the body indicates that the man, a chronic alcoholic, was wandering in a park at a late hour last night and was overcome by the cold.

Speaker 3:
[07:19] Why so exciting about that? Yeah, what's so important?

Speaker 5:
[07:21] I ain't finished yet.

Speaker 3:
[07:22] Wait.

Speaker 5:
[07:23] The dead man left in a state of approximately $10,000, made up entirely of a life insurance policy with a daughter living on a Pacific coast as sole beneficiary.

Speaker 3:
[07:34] That all?

Speaker 5:
[07:34] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[07:35] Too bad. Well, I gotta get back to Rodney. Wait a minute, Mike.

Speaker 5:
[07:40] 10 grand.

Speaker 4:
[07:41] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[07:42] You know, Jerry, the poor old guy's death was a kind of a blessing in a way. Yeah, that's it. A blessing.

Speaker 4:
[07:47] A slave to Demon-Rom is life a shamble.

Speaker 3:
[07:51] What are you talking about? You know, maybe we got a mission in life.

Speaker 4:
[07:54] Maybe we're just what these poor guys need.

Speaker 3:
[07:56] There's a lot more like Compagno, you know.

Speaker 5:
[07:58] Maybe it's cold outside.

Speaker 3:
[08:01] Maybe it's cold. Wait a minute now. What? Do you get it, Mike? What do you mean? They ain't got no dough. Or neither did Compagno. All he had was a nice, fat insurance policy.

Speaker 5:
[08:12] Made out to his daughter. Now maybe we could find one without any daughters.

Speaker 4:
[08:16] A doc? Lots of people don't have daughters, but they have insurance policies.

Speaker 3:
[08:20] Hey, wait a minute.

Speaker 5:
[08:23] He's catching on.

Speaker 3:
[08:24] And if he was to become a partner of ours, he'd need an insurance policy to protect us. His beneficiaries. Yeah. As a matter of fact, all we need is a guy like...

Speaker 6:
[08:37] Hey, where is everybody?

Speaker 3:
[08:40] Uh-huh. All we need is a guy like... Rodney. Rodney? Rodney.

Speaker 2:
[09:03] You have heard act one of The Iron Man. In this brief intermission for a smoke in The Philip Morris Playhouse, may we have your attention, please, ladies and gentlemen? When your cigarette leaves a stale, musty, smoked-out taste in your mouth... That's cigarette hangover. When your cigarette leaves your throat tight, dry, uncomfortable... That's cigarette hangover. Yes, that's what takes the joy out of smoking. And when that happens to you, it's time to change to Philip Morris. Remember, Philip Morris is the one the only cigarette proved definitely less irritating, definitely milder than any other leading brand. That fact is recognized by eminent medical authorities. No other cigarette can make that statement. Remember, top-ranking doctors, eminent nose and throat specialists, actually suggest Philip Morris in cases of irritation due to smoking. That's why we say, if you're tired of cigarette hangover, join the millions and change to Philip Morris. You, too, will discover in Philip Morris a milder smoke, a fresher, cleaner smoke than you've ever known before. Yes, you will be glad tomorrow you smoke Philip Morris today. Philip Morris, America's finest cigarette. Now, with Sidney Miller as Mike McGovern, we bring you act two of The Iron Man, tonight's production in the Philip Morris Playhouse.

Speaker 3:
[10:43] I was worried about Rodney a little. He was so weak, so frail and helpless, without no family connections or nothing. And while we talked to him that night, I begun to worry for fear he'd keel over before we got him covered with insurance. You see Rodney, what this place needs is a kind of customer's man. A host, that's it, Rodney. A guy who will make the other customers feel at home. You get it?

Speaker 5:
[11:08] Oh, wait a minute, now, you mean you want to make me a full partner?

Speaker 3:
[11:12] Yeah, just like the rest of us. Yeah, even, Stephen. You'll get a quarter interest in the place.

Speaker 5:
[11:17] Oh, not so fast. What's it going to cost me?

Speaker 3:
[11:20] Nothing, not a cent. You'll get a fourth of the taste.

Speaker 5:
[11:23] That's 25%.

Speaker 3:
[11:24] Of course. And all you want to drink.

Speaker 5:
[11:27] Oh, I'm dead.

Speaker 3:
[11:29] Huh?

Speaker 5:
[11:30] I must be. I'm in heaven. Well, let's tip the flowing bowl.

Speaker 3:
[11:35] Not yet, no drinks tonight.

Speaker 5:
[11:37] Why?

Speaker 3:
[11:38] Why, you got to be in shape for your examination tomorrow for the insurance policy. Understand, we're giving you a quarter interest in the place and we got to have protection.

Speaker 5:
[11:47] Well, if you must, you must. Now, where do I sign?

Speaker 3:
[11:52] Right here, Rodney, right here. Here's a pen. $1,800, now wait a minute, bro.

Speaker 5:
[12:07] You're lucky to get that. There's something fishy about the whole thing anyway. Why are you guys so under...

Speaker 3:
[12:12] I told you why, he's our partner. $1,800, I thought your outfit insured people.

Speaker 5:
[12:19] You should have seen the doc when he was going over Rodney.

Speaker 3:
[12:22] There's nothing wrong with him.

Speaker 4:
[12:23] Nothing a miracle wouldn't cure.

Speaker 5:
[12:25] A liver you could bounce like a rubber ball, stomach like a sieve.

Speaker 3:
[12:29] Is that all?

Speaker 4:
[12:30] Everything's wrong with him. The doc said he never saw kidneys like that in his whole life.

Speaker 5:
[12:35] Well, here's the policy. Premiums due in advance, $60.

Speaker 3:
[12:45] We thought it might look too convenient if it happened right away. So we waited two days. I went to work on Rodney Thursday night. And when I let Jerry take over, I had the feeling the money was in the bank. Doc was waiting for me in the back room.

Speaker 5:
[13:03] How is he?

Speaker 3:
[13:04] Oh, we're getting there. His mother was frightened by a sponge, but we're getting there. Jerry is now guiding the glass to his mouth.

Speaker 5:
[13:11] How's the weather?

Speaker 3:
[13:12] Oh, lovely. Never saw such a night. Five below, Doc. A 40-mile wind, lots of snow. Well, he ought to be about ready now.

Speaker 4:
[13:23] I'll go check. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[13:26] Now, now, Rodney, old boy, must you spill it? Drink it down every drop, just like a little man. Good that I haven't chased her. He's getting finicky, Mike. I'm not complaining. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I've never been happier in my work. It's just that I want to...

Speaker 3:
[13:44] What do you want, Rodney?

Speaker 5:
[13:46] Oh, I want to go to bed. Can you imagine that, Mike? First day on the job and a guy wants to quit an hour early.

Speaker 3:
[13:52] Oh, Rodney, you are a clock watcher.

Speaker 5:
[13:55] Please, Mr. McGovern, whatever the cost, let our key word be harmony. And whatever the task, you'll find a don who never quits. Though the path be long, though the way be hard, remember this, I'm with you, Pod. I want to go to bed.

Speaker 3:
[14:14] Rodney, you ain't doing so well. Look, how about another drink, huh?

Speaker 5:
[14:18] Just one more.

Speaker 3:
[14:19] A nightcap?

Speaker 5:
[14:19] Well, it's about time. Whether you like it or not, I got a contract that says I'm a partner in this business. And when I want a drink, I get a drink. But that's just... But me no but, peasant, or me a drink. Sure, Rodney. Say when.

Speaker 3:
[14:47] It's full.

Speaker 7:
[14:48] Okay, when?

Speaker 3:
[14:54] At half past 11, we hustled him feet first out of the shamrock and into Jerry's cab. Wyatt was a cinch, nothing to it. We left him in a snowbank in Central Park near where they found Compagnum, then went back to the bar and waited all night for the morning papers. At seven o'clock, we got one.

Speaker 5:
[15:15] Curtis, Davenport, Dillingham, Drake, no Donahoe.

Speaker 3:
[15:19] Let me see it, Jerry.

Speaker 5:
[15:20] No use, Mike, Rodney just ain't in the obituaries.

Speaker 3:
[15:24] He couldn't even walk last night. He's just covered with snow and they ain't found him yet. There's an article here about an unidentified drunk who smashed a $300 store window on Fifth Avenue. I didn't like that. Rodney. Hey, what's your name?

Speaker 5:
[15:43] Oh, just keep your seats, gentlemen. I didn't mean to startle you, just that dropped in to apologize.

Speaker 3:
[15:48] Apologize?

Speaker 5:
[15:49] Donahoe's never afraid to admit he's wrong. No question of it, I partook too freely and I'm sorry.

Speaker 4:
[15:55] Sorry about what?

Speaker 5:
[15:56] The window.

Speaker 4:
[15:57] Now wait a minute, are you the guy who?

Speaker 5:
[16:00] Yeah, I'm a little unruly when I'm in my cups. I told him you'd take care of it, being my partner and all. The man will be out this afternoon.

Speaker 3:
[16:08] How much, Rodney?

Speaker 5:
[16:10] $300.

Speaker 3:
[16:11] 300 bucks?

Speaker 5:
[16:12] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[16:13] Well, what's the matter?

Speaker 3:
[16:15] Nothing, Rodney, nothing.

Speaker 5:
[16:18] Well, then partners, how about a little drink, huh? Holy cow, look at that snow. I can hardly see.

Speaker 3:
[16:33] What time is it, Mike? At quarter past one. How is he? I ain't sure, but I think he's in a coma. You know...

Speaker 5:
[16:40] Never mind.

Speaker 3:
[16:41] Okay. You know...

Speaker 5:
[16:43] All right, what is it?

Speaker 3:
[16:45] I got a feeling maybe we went too far. Champagne, creme de menthe, beer.

Speaker 5:
[16:51] What's wrong with that?

Speaker 3:
[16:52] Nothing, only I do not approve of the cleaning fluid. We are liable to poison the guy.

Speaker 5:
[16:57] Shut up.

Speaker 3:
[16:58] This time he goes out for keeps.

Speaker 4:
[17:00] How much farther, Jerry?

Speaker 5:
[17:01] We are almost there.

Speaker 3:
[17:02] Where we go? To the fountain. That's where we are going to put Rodney. Ain't a man living can stay alive soaking wet in ten below. Give me another aspirin, Doc.

Speaker 4:
[17:23] You get it. I got my feet in the hot water.

Speaker 5:
[17:26] What's that paper going to get here?

Speaker 4:
[17:28] Take it easy. These things take time.

Speaker 3:
[17:30] We should have hid by now. It's almost noon.

Speaker 5:
[17:32] Jerry, drive us over to the park.

Speaker 3:
[17:34] The scene of the crime? Doc, caution.

Speaker 5:
[17:37] Well, you can't use my cab anyway. I sold the tires.

Speaker 3:
[17:41] What for?

Speaker 5:
[17:42] For 20 bucks. I made a parley at Hylia this morning.

Speaker 4:
[17:45] You dumb clock.

Speaker 3:
[17:46] 20 bucks on a horse race?

Speaker 4:
[17:48] How are we going to pay for Rodney's winter?

Speaker 5:
[17:49] Oh, shut up.

Speaker 8:
[17:50] Well, look here, you get to know him.

Speaker 3:
[17:51] Calm, calm, fellas, calm. As the good late Rodney said, let harmony be our keynote, be it ever so.

Speaker 8:
[17:59] Is Mike McGovern here?

Speaker 3:
[18:01] Yeah, yeah, officer. I am him.

Speaker 8:
[18:04] Good. Rose from headquarters. These are your partners?

Speaker 3:
[18:07] Yeah, yeah. This here is Jerry Mulvaney, and this is Doc Hadland.

Speaker 8:
[18:12] How you doing? Well, I got some bad news for you. Yeah?

Speaker 5:
[18:15] No kidding?

Speaker 8:
[18:16] We picked up Rodney Donahue this morning.

Speaker 5:
[18:18] Gee. Oh, that's too bad.

Speaker 3:
[18:21] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8:
[18:21] I knew it would be a shock to you.

Speaker 5:
[18:23] Well, we'll just have to carry on, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[18:27] Well, these things happen, you know?

Speaker 4:
[18:30] They sure do.

Speaker 8:
[18:31] You had some sort of an arrangement with him, a partnership or something?

Speaker 4:
[18:35] Yeah. He was a member of the corporation.

Speaker 3:
[18:37] A valued member.

Speaker 8:
[18:39] I see.

Speaker 4:
[18:41] When did you find him, officer?

Speaker 3:
[18:42] Oh, this morning. Officer, I hope he had an easy death.

Speaker 8:
[18:48] Death? I only wish he was dead. We picked him up for turning in five false alarms last night, and it's going to cost you a hundred dollars to bail him out. You can pick him up at the station and start.

Speaker 3:
[19:00] You know...

Speaker 8:
[19:00] Shut up.

Speaker 5:
[19:02] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[19:03] You know...

Speaker 5:
[19:04] Okay. What is it?

Speaker 3:
[19:05] There is only one conclusion. Rodney is immortal.

Speaker 5:
[19:18] Well, it's now or never.

Speaker 3:
[19:20] You are right there. It is him or us tonight. I got a slight touch of pneumonia.

Speaker 5:
[19:25] Yeah, me too.

Speaker 8:
[19:25] Is he still out?

Speaker 3:
[19:27] He ain't moved for fifteen minutes.

Speaker 4:
[19:29] Hey, now, watch it, Jerry.

Speaker 6:
[19:30] Drive it on the road, will you?

Speaker 5:
[19:31] I can't help it. I'm nervous. This thing is getting too big for us, Doc.

Speaker 3:
[19:35] Oh, forget it. This one's gonna do it, I tell you. Take the next turn to the left, Jerry.

Speaker 5:
[19:40] Okay.

Speaker 3:
[19:41] What are we gonna do?

Speaker 5:
[19:42] Run over them.

Speaker 3:
[19:43] Lay them out on the road and run over them. That good enough for you? Well...

Speaker 5:
[19:47] Well what?

Speaker 3:
[19:48] That's illegal, ain't it? I guess maybe we'd all lost our faith in Rodney by then. Even Doc, who would not admit it. We did like he said. Then finally... Yeah, yeah, this is Mike McGovern. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, oh, sure. Oh, I understand.

Speaker 5:
[20:35] Uh-huh.

Speaker 3:
[20:37] Yeah, well, all those things happen. Yeah, sometimes, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[20:42] Huh?

Speaker 3:
[20:42] Shut up. Yeah, well, it takes time, you know. Sure, call me.

Speaker 5:
[20:48] Well, who was it?

Speaker 3:
[20:50] The hospital. It seems Rodney has a slight concussion. They might have to hold him awake. Did you sell all the liquor, Mike? Every drop in the house, wholesale. And we still owe 60 bucks on Rodney's hospital bill.

Speaker 4:
[21:13] Where's Jerry?

Speaker 3:
[21:14] He went down to the bookies. His 20 buck parlay runs today. Maybe I ought to talk to Stevens about that mortgage. Wouldn't do no good unless you can talk 1200 bucks.

Speaker 4:
[21:25] What's that?

Speaker 3:
[21:26] It ain't a customer.

Speaker 5:
[21:28] Make fun of me, will you? Give me the old raspberry. What? Give me some space, Doc.

Speaker 3:
[21:34] Well, you got you. What is it?

Speaker 5:
[21:35] Just watch. The hand is quicker than the eye. Now, 500, 600, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

Speaker 3:
[21:44] 1200 bucks?

Speaker 5:
[21:45] And that ain't all. There's another grand in my pocket. So I don't owe the horses, huh? So I don't owe a long shot when I see one, huh? The parlay. Sure. We can pay off.

Speaker 4:
[21:55] Christopher, we're in.

Speaker 5:
[22:20] What's that? Oh, someone at the door. Oh, don't open it, Jerry.

Speaker 3:
[22:24] It might be a customer. Let's see.

Speaker 5:
[22:25] Oh, no, no. Better go see. Oh, gee, it's good to see you, Jerry. Rodney. Aren't you going to let me in? It's cold out here. Hey, Rodney wants to come in.

Speaker 4:
[22:38] Get out, you stumble bum.

Speaker 5:
[22:39] Oh, Doc, I got to have a drink. Listen, I've been in the hospital. Nothing but food for ten days. Don't tell us how long, pal.

Speaker 3:
[22:46] We got the bill.

Speaker 6:
[22:47] Throw them out, Jerry.

Speaker 2:
[22:48] Doc, I got to have a drink.

Speaker 3:
[22:50] Maybe we ought to give Rodney a little send-off. We'll send him off all right. A little double crosser. Toss them out, Jerry.

Speaker 5:
[22:56] No, wait.

Speaker 8:
[22:58] Out. You can't do this.

Speaker 3:
[23:00] A partnership is dissolved, Rodney, as of now. Beat it, or we'll...

Speaker 4:
[23:05] Please, Doc, please.

Speaker 5:
[23:06] You heard what the man said, Rodney. That takes care of Rodney.

Speaker 3:
[23:14] It sure does. Let's see now.

Speaker 5:
[23:17] Where were we?

Speaker 3:
[23:18] Well, I was singing lead. Let's go.

Speaker 5:
[23:53] Oh, Officer Rhodes.

Speaker 3:
[23:56] Hello, Officer. Have a chair.

Speaker 8:
[23:57] I'd rather stand.

Speaker 5:
[23:58] Okay.

Speaker 8:
[24:01] Well?

Speaker 5:
[24:01] Well, what?

Speaker 8:
[24:02] Did you collect it? The bet?

Speaker 5:
[24:04] Oh, I sure did. 22...

Speaker 8:
[24:05] Oh, not the bet. I mean the insurance.

Speaker 5:
[24:08] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[24:08] The insurance?

Speaker 8:
[24:09] On Rodney Donahoe.

Speaker 4:
[24:11] What are you talking about?

Speaker 8:
[24:13] He's dead, you know.

Speaker 5:
[24:14] Holy cow, it killed him.

Speaker 8:
[24:15] What killed him?

Speaker 5:
[24:16] Oh, we should have known that was the one thing. Taking him off the stuff.

Speaker 8:
[24:20] No, go on, Jerry. Go on. This is interesting. You knocked him off, didn't you? Stuck him in Central Park last night in the middle of a snowstorm.

Speaker 5:
[24:26] We knocked him off?

Speaker 3:
[24:28] The solid food killed him, that's why.

Speaker 8:
[24:30] Oh, that's it, huh? But you were sure ten days ago that he was dead when I came in about the false alarms. How come?

Speaker 3:
[24:36] Well, you see...

Speaker 8:
[24:37] And how does it happen that the tire tracks in that snow the night he was run down matched yours, Jerry?

Speaker 5:
[24:43] Oh, now wait a minute. You got this thing all wrong.

Speaker 8:
[24:45] Yeah, don't give me that. What about the insurance policy? Dan Brody tells me he issued one to Mike the same week it happened. You bought it because you needed 1200 bucks to pay off the mortgage, right?

Speaker 3:
[24:55] I tell you, we had nothing to do with it. He came around last night for a drink and we threw him out.

Speaker 8:
[24:59] Shut up. You kill him and you know it.

Speaker 3:
[25:01] Oh, we didn't kill him. We tried, Mike.

Speaker 8:
[25:03] Oh, you tried, huh? Well, that's good enough for me. Stick out your hands, all of you. I just happened to have three pairs of handcuffs with me.

Speaker 3:
[25:13] No, now, listen, Chief.

Speaker 8:
[25:14] And there's a warrant in my pocket. Now, if you gents will be so good as to stick out your hands, I'll be happy to supply you with the hardware.

Speaker 5:
[25:24] Well, good morning, gentlemen.

Speaker 8:
[25:26] What?

Speaker 3:
[25:28] No, no. Hiya, Rodney.

Speaker 5:
[25:31] Hi, Rodney. Morning, Rodner. Well, what's the matter with the officer here?

Speaker 4:
[25:36] Son of who?

Speaker 5:
[25:37] You're dead.

Speaker 4:
[25:38] You...

Speaker 3:
[25:38] Oh, he just don't know you as well as we do, Rodney. Partner, what'll you have?

Speaker 5:
[25:44] Bourbon. Tall, cool and tinkling. It's a long, dry walk from the morgue.

Speaker 3:
[25:56] And so it is, because we feel the story of Rodney Donahue should be put down for posteriority. I have wrote this account of the pleasant relationship we had with him. Doc and Jerry and me are living together now. And it was quite a joke to hear it was finally taken off. Yeah, it was liquor finally got him, they tell me. He cashed in on the shamrock and went hog wild on the money. And it was in some such dude hangout as the store club that he bought him some fancy drink with fruit and all. Rodney, Rodney was a good and true friend. Cheerful and generous to the last. And one of the best drinkers I have ever run across. And while our hopes and plans for Rodney never quite came off, I am sorry to say that the people of the state of New York give us an A for effort. Respectively submitted, Michael J. McGovern, number 3487156.

Speaker 2:
[27:31] Tonight, The Philip Morris Playhouse presented The Iron Man, produced, edited and directed by William Spear. Sidney Miller was Mike, Jerry Hausner Jerry, James Matthews Doc, and Joseph Kearns was Rodney. It's a wonderful feeling. It's a wonderful feeling. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling to wake up fresh with no cigarette hangover. Yes, that's something more and more smokers who have changed to Philip Morris are discovering every day. Millions of new smokers now enjoy in Philip Morris a milder smoke, a fresher, cleaner smoke than they've ever known before. And for a good reason. For in Philip Morris, they enjoy the one cigarette proved definitely less irritating, definitely milder than any other leading brand. Yes, it's actually suggested by top-ranking doctors, eminent nose and throat specialists, in cases of irritation due to smoking. Doesn't it make good sense for you too to try Philip Morris? Yes, join the millions and see what a difference it makes, what a pleasure it is to smoke America's finest cigarette. Next time you step up to a cigarette counter, call for Philip Morris. And remember, you'll be glad tomorrow you smoke Philip Morris today. Folks, this is John Holbrook. I just want to say that starting next Thursday over these same stations, Philip Morris is proud to present one of the greatest crime mystery thrillers on the air, the popular crime photographer. Make a date to hear crime photographer next Thursday night. That's next Thursday, August 4th, 9:30 p.m. Eastern Daylight Saving Time over the CBS Network. In the meantime, don't forget to... Smoke a pipe? You get real solace, comfort and pleasure from Revelation. Plus, smooth burning. Plus, what a swell aroma. Revelation pipe tobacco is a revelation in smoking pleasure. Only 15 cents. Try Revelation. Tonight's original radio play was by Harold Swanton. Music on The Philip Morris Playhouse is under the direction of Lud Bluskin. All names and characters used on this program are fictitious. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This is Art Ballinger saying good night for Philip Morris. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. In a moment, you'll hear James Stewart as The Six Shooter, just one of many fine programs brought to you each week on NBC. Tomorrow night, there's top comedy entertainment with The Bob Hope Show, The Phil Harris Alice Faye Show, and Can You Top This with Senator Ford. Bob Hope delivers rapid fire comedy routines, while Phil Harris and Alice Faye bring both mirth and music. A great Friday night lineup of comedy programs, all of them heard only on NBC. James Stewart as The Six Shooter. The man in the saddle is angular and long-legged. His skin is sundried brown. The gun in his holster is gray steel and rainbow mother of pearl, its handle unmarked. People call them both The Six Shooter. The NBC Radio Network presents James Stewart as The Six Shooter, a transcribed series of radio dramas based on the life of Brett Ponset, the Texas planesman who wandered through the western territories, leaving behind a trail of still remembered legends.

Speaker 9:
[31:54] And keep your shirt on, keep your shirt on. Bank don't open till 9 a.m. You got five minutes to wait.

Speaker 8:
[32:02] It's me, Mac Hawkins. I got some news for you, Olly.

Speaker 9:
[32:05] News?

Speaker 8:
[32:06] About Wyatt King.

Speaker 9:
[32:08] Oh, oh. What's happened, Mac?

Speaker 8:
[32:13] They got him. No. Sheriff Hemphill's bringing him into town now. The posse come by my ranch about half hour ago. I took right off so I could spread the word.

Speaker 2:
[32:22] I just can't believe it.

Speaker 8:
[32:22] That's right. They got him.

Speaker 9:
[32:24] Spud Hemphill capturing the Wyoming King?

Speaker 8:
[32:27] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9:
[32:28] Not that Spud ain't been a good sheriff, but nobody's ever been able to lay a hand on Wyatt King before.

Speaker 8:
[32:34] Well, the sheriff didn't exactly capture him, Olly.

Speaker 9:
[32:37] I heard you said he...

Speaker 8:
[32:38] The sheriff's bringing him in. That's true enough, but the way I understand it, the posse just sort of stumbled onto the kid. What? That's what they say. He was laying in a grove by sycamores over by Tenderfoot Creek.

Speaker 9:
[32:50] Dead, huh?

Speaker 8:
[32:51] No, no, no, but he's been shot up some bullet in his belly. Must have been hit at close range. He was still out cold when they went past my place.

Speaker 9:
[32:59] Spud say who shot him and left him laying there?

Speaker 8:
[33:01] They just don't seem to know, Ollie.

Speaker 9:
[33:03] Well, he was in mighty good health when he rode out of here yesterday, cutting off $2,500 for my bank vault here.

Speaker 8:
[33:10] And your money was still on him. No need for you to worry about it.

Speaker 4:
[33:13] Good morning, Mithraun. I'm sorry I'm late. Matilda had one of her dizzy spells this morning, and I had to wait till Doc McIntyre got there.

Speaker 8:
[33:22] Jonas, did you hear about Wyatt King?

Speaker 4:
[33:24] Wyatt King?

Speaker 9:
[33:25] The feller who held me up yesterday.

Speaker 4:
[33:27] Oh, why, I thought they called him something else, some kind of kid.

Speaker 9:
[33:32] That's right, the Wyoming kid. Well, his real name is Wyatt King. Don't you ever read them reward notices down to the post office?

Speaker 4:
[33:42] I just don't remember names very good, I guess. What about Mr. King?

Speaker 8:
[33:47] He's been captured.

Speaker 4:
[33:48] You don't say?

Speaker 9:
[33:49] Yes, the sheriff found him down at 10-a-foot creek. He was all shunned up.

Speaker 4:
[33:53] My, my.

Speaker 8:
[33:53] And the darnedest thing is, nobody knows who shot him.

Speaker 4:
[33:57] What's so peculiar about that?

Speaker 9:
[33:59] Well, in the first place, the fellow who done it, he'd stand to collect a mighty nice reward. All them holdups King's pulled, well, there must be at least $5,000 offered for him, dead or alive.

Speaker 4:
[34:09] My, my, that sure is a lot of money. Well, I better get over to my desk and start working on the account.

Speaker 8:
[34:16] Olly, that ain't the only strange thing about this here business.

Speaker 9:
[34:19] Oh, what are you driving?

Speaker 8:
[34:21] Well, I told you the kid's been shot at a close range. That means somebody met up with him face to face. He wasn't dry gulched or nothing like that.

Speaker 9:
[34:28] Yeah, yeah, see what you mean.

Speaker 8:
[34:31] And it would take a mighty big man to stand up to Wyatt King and a mighty fast man out drawing.

Speaker 9:
[34:36] Yeah, he was supposed to be lightning gunfighter.

Speaker 8:
[34:39] There's about ten graves that'll testify to that.

Speaker 9:
[34:43] Hmm, sure ain't nobody around here. Well, at least I can't think of anybody. You may?

Speaker 8:
[34:49] No, no, can't, not a single solitary soul. I've been racking my brain ever since I heard what had happened.

Speaker 7:
[35:03] Ah, morning, Jones.

Speaker 9:
[35:04] Yes, sir, what can I do for you?

Speaker 7:
[35:07] Uh, you're the banker?

Speaker 9:
[35:08] That's right, Mr., um...

Speaker 7:
[35:10] Name's Ponset, Brett Ponset.

Speaker 9:
[35:12] Well, pleased to meet you, Mr. Ponset. I'm Oliver Rowey.

Speaker 7:
[35:16] Ah, howdy. I got a little check here. I was wondering if you could...

Speaker 8:
[35:19] Did you say Brett Ponset?

Speaker 7:
[35:21] That's right.

Speaker 8:
[35:21] Well, I'll be doggone.

Speaker 9:
[35:23] What's the matter, man?

Speaker 8:
[35:24] Why, he's a six shooter, aren't he?

Speaker 9:
[35:27] A six shooter?

Speaker 8:
[35:28] Ain't that right, Mr. Ponset?

Speaker 7:
[35:29] Well, sometimes I guess folks call me...

Speaker 8:
[35:31] There, there, what did I tell you? Well, sir, I guess we don't have to do no more wondering about who shot up Wyatt King. Why?

Speaker 9:
[35:37] Well, sir, we're almighty grateful, Mr. Ponset.

Speaker 8:
[35:40] Hold on. If we'd have known you was in these parts, we wouldn't have had no doubts in the first place. No, sir.

Speaker 7:
[35:45] I'm afraid I don't follow you.

Speaker 9:
[35:47] Well, you're the fellow who shot it up with the king last night, ain't you? Well, it must have been you. Couldn't have been nobody else.

Speaker 8:
[35:52] Why, of course it was him, Olly. There ain't no doubt about it. I said it would take a fast man to out draw the kid. Well, the six shooter is just about the fastest man on the west of the Mississippi from the way I hear it.

Speaker 7:
[36:02] Well, that's mighty flattering, but as far as out drawing Wyatt King, well, I wouldn't know about that since how we never met up.

Speaker 9:
[36:09] Never met up?

Speaker 8:
[36:10] You mean you didn't recognize him last night?

Speaker 7:
[36:13] Last night.

Speaker 8:
[36:13] Well, whenever it was, you shot him.

Speaker 7:
[36:16] Now, let's get this straight, gents. I didn't shoot Wyatt King last night or any other time. I've never laid eyes on him.

Speaker 8:
[36:24] Well, if it wasn't you, then who did do it?

Speaker 7:
[36:27] I sure wouldn't know. I sure wouldn't know. I rode down the trail from Fort Drexel. I didn't see any sign of Wyatt King or anybody else.

Speaker 8:
[36:37] Tenderfoot Creek's just off that trail.

Speaker 7:
[36:39] Is that so?

Speaker 9:
[36:42] Well, if Mr. Huntsett says he didn't do it, I guess he didn't.

Speaker 8:
[36:47] Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. Sure. Why didn't I think of it before? Everybody knows if the Six Shooter don't like to take credit for what he does, he's the sort of man to hide his lamp under a bushel. Well, you ain't gonna get away with it here in Copper Springs, Mr. Potsky. You're absolutely right, man.

Speaker 9:
[37:09] Shooting an outlaw like Wyatt King ain't nothing to be ashamed of. Well, like Mr. Funchy, you ought to be proud of yourself.

Speaker 7:
[37:15] Well, maybe I would if I'd done it.

Speaker 9:
[37:16] Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 8:
[37:17] There's Potsky now. Just, just wait till I tell Sheriff Hale about this.

Speaker 7:
[37:20] Here, here and I'll...

Speaker 9:
[37:21] Wait a minute, man.

Speaker 8:
[37:22] Wait a minute.

Speaker 9:
[37:22] I'm going with you.

Speaker 4:
[37:23] Listen to me.

Speaker 9:
[37:25] You run the bank!

Speaker 4:
[37:26] Yes, sir, Mr. Rohn.

Speaker 7:
[37:27] I'll... Mr. Rowan, hey, why do you... Well, I'll be darned. Well, I never saw anything like it. For the next half hour, folks came up to me from all directions, all saying I had shot Wyatt King, giving me their congratulations. I told them I hadn't had anything to do with it, but they just wouldn't be convinced. And I didn't see how I could straighten them out on it. It did make me feel kind of funny, though, all this hella-balloo over a misunderstanding. And then when the mayor said something about letting the kids out of school for a day in my honor, well I just had to find some way of putting a stop to it, so I headed over to the jail, introduced myself to Sheriff Hampton.

Speaker 9:
[38:16] It's a privilege to meet you, Mr. Ponson, a real privilege.

Speaker 7:
[38:19] Yes, a privilege, yes.

Speaker 9:
[38:20] Oh, not that I wouldn't have caught up with King myself sooner or later, but you kind of speeded up the operation.

Speaker 7:
[38:26] Yes, yes. Now, that's what I want to talk to you about, Sheriff.

Speaker 9:
[38:28] Oh, now don't you worry about the reward. I'll see that you get it.

Speaker 7:
[38:31] No, no, I'm not interested in any reward.

Speaker 9:
[38:34] Well, yeah, yeah, everybody says you're the generous type. I heard that.

Speaker 7:
[38:37] Well, I'm not that generous, Sheriff. Now, I reckon I'd take the reward if I was entitled to it.

Speaker 9:
[38:44] Oh, now, Mr. Pontus.

Speaker 7:
[38:46] Sheriff, you've got to listen to me now. I didn't shoot Wyatt King.

Speaker 9:
[38:50] Well, I heard you've been trying to ease out of taking the credit.

Speaker 7:
[38:54] I'm not trying to do anything except tell you the truth. You ask King when he comes to, you'll find out.

Speaker 9:
[38:59] Oh, he came to a little while ago, Mr. Pontus, right after Doc McIntyre got through patching him up. He's practically as good as new now.

Speaker 7:
[39:06] Well, go on, go on. Ask him if I had anything to do with shooting him.

Speaker 9:
[39:10] Why should I ask him again?

Speaker 7:
[39:11] Again.

Speaker 9:
[39:12] Well, sure. As soon as he was able to talk, I questioned him. Well. He says you made a lucky draw, Mr. Pontus. Of course, that's just an alibi.

Speaker 7:
[39:21] No, no. Now, wait a minute here. You mean to say that Wyatt King claims I shot him?

Speaker 9:
[39:30] Huh? Well, you're The Six Shooter, ain't you? Well, well, well, that's who he says done it.

Speaker 7:
[39:43] I just couldn't believe my ears. I never laid eyes on this Wyoming kid my whole life. Boy, I'd heard plenty about him, of course. All his escapades, yet quite a reputation. Well, Sheriff Hamphill wasn't even easier to convince than the rest of the folks had been, so finally I asked him if he'd mind letting me talk to King. The fellow had shot him must have resembled me in some way, at least that's what I figured. I was certain that once we met head on, the King would see that he'd been wrong.

Speaker 9:
[40:15] Well Wyatt?

Speaker 7:
[40:16] Huh?

Speaker 9:
[40:17] Is this the man who shot you?

Speaker 6:
[40:19] Why do you have to keep going over that sheriff I told you had done it?

Speaker 9:
[40:22] Yeah, but Mr. Ponset here kind of disagrees with you.

Speaker 7:
[40:26] I sure do.

Speaker 6:
[40:27] Oh?

Speaker 7:
[40:30] Now, let's just get this thing straightened out once and for all, and then we won't have any...

Speaker 6:
[40:35] What's the matter with you, Britt? You was ready enough to pull the trigger last night. Why are you trying to lie out of it now?

Speaker 4:
[40:40] To pull...

Speaker 7:
[40:43] Why, you... You know we've never run into each other before, last night or any other time.

Speaker 6:
[40:49] I got a bandage on my belly that says different.

Speaker 7:
[40:51] Now take a good look at me, Wyatt. Now maybe in the dark you sort of thought the fellow well, maybe there was a lightness.

Speaker 6:
[40:59] You got a twin brother?

Speaker 7:
[41:00] Of course I've got no twin brother.

Speaker 6:
[41:02] If you ain't got a twin brother, that was you that shot me. It wasn't very dark either. Don't you remember the way we were standing there in the moonlight and the way you went for your gun, the same gun you're wearing right now? I sure ain't likely to forget it.

Speaker 7:
[41:16] I... Well, now... Look, Sheriff, now you listen to me. I don't know what's the matter with this, Kay. You must have gone loco or something, but I give you my word...

Speaker 9:
[41:26] Mr. Ponson, we all know how you feel about accepting honors and having folks look up to you. But this is one time you just ain't going to be able to get away with it. As a matter of fact, I believe there's some kind of a doing planned over at the town hall later on this afternoon. After the parade, that is.

Speaker 7:
[41:43] The... The parade? Oh, now, you just hold on here. Now, before everybody starts tearing around in circles, I'd like to talk to Wyatt alone, if you don't mind.

Speaker 9:
[41:53] What for?

Speaker 7:
[41:54] Well, I... Just... Just give me a couple of minutes with him, Sheriff.

Speaker 9:
[41:57] All right. All right. But I sure don't see what you hope to gain by it. I'll have to lock in with no... Can't take no chance with a man like King. Give a holler when you want out.

Speaker 7:
[42:11] All right, King. I want the truth.

Speaker 6:
[42:14] Why, the one who's loco puns it, you are. That's a pretty big reward for me.

Speaker 7:
[42:19] There's a reward for the fellow who captured you.

Speaker 6:
[42:22] Well, as long as I keep saying you're the fellow you can collect, I'm doing you a favor.

Speaker 7:
[42:27] Well, maybe I don't happen to want any favor from you.

Speaker 6:
[42:29] Well, don't look like you got much choice in the matter, does it? Of course, just between the two of us. Now, now, seeing you right close like that, it might have been somebody else has shot me.

Speaker 7:
[42:42] You know doggone well it was.

Speaker 6:
[42:43] Well, even if it was, even if I was mistaken about it, I sure wouldn't admit it.

Speaker 7:
[42:48] I don't see why not.

Speaker 6:
[42:50] Oh, now, Mr. Ponty, you don't think I want folks to know I was outdrawn by a little fellow gray hair in a pot belly?

Speaker 7:
[42:56] Oh, what, how that?

Speaker 6:
[42:57] A man who nobody's heard of, a grocery clerk or a sod buster. That's what he looked like to me. Why, he even had a ready-made suit on, a coat and pants cut out of the same cloth, stiff collar and a necktie. I never supposed a man like him would know how to use a gun. Otherwise, I'd been more careful.

Speaker 7:
[43:19] Well, well, at least we finally got down to the truth, huh? Now, all you got to do is tell the sheriff and we'll...

Speaker 6:
[43:28] I'm not telling anybody else, Ponson. And I got an idea your telling him won't make much difference. Why? Now, as long as I keep saying it was you who shot me, and of course, that's what I'm gonna say. I ain't got no choice.

Speaker 7:
[43:42] Well, you haven't got any reason to lie about it.

Speaker 6:
[43:45] Well, now, look, it's one thing to be outshot by Brit Ponson. That ain't so hard to swallow, but the idea of being outlawed by... nobody. Well, I wouldn't be able to face my friends again after I break out of jail. They'd all have a laugh on me. Yes, it was a lucky break when the sheriff came in and said you was in town. Asked if you was the one that shot me.

Speaker 7:
[44:11] You're not going to get away with this, can you?

Speaker 6:
[44:12] Well, I'm sorry if it upset you, Ponson, but after all, I got my reputation.

Speaker 7:
[44:18] Your reputation? Why, I never heard of such a thing.

Speaker 8:
[44:23] Sheriff, get me out of here.

Speaker 2:
[44:37] We'll return to James Stewart as The Six Shooter in just a moment. Each year, forest fires take a tragic toll, destroying the natural resources that are vital to our nation's strength. Remember, one moment of carelessness can destroy national beauty and wealth that can never be replaced. Forest fires have been called America's most shameful waste because they can be prevented. Don't fail to do your part in preventing them. Don't be guilty of starting one. Now, act two of The Six Shooter, starring James Stewart as Brit Ponson.

Speaker 7:
[45:27] Well, I knew that there wasn't any point in hanging around the jail trying to make Sheriff Hamptale believe what Wyatt King had told me. King was right. As long as he kept insisting that I shot him, I wasn't going to be able to convince anybody of the truth, unless the man who really did shoot him. I was walking down the main street passing the bank when I remembered what King had said. A gray-haired fellow with a pot belly, wearing a ready-made suit and a stiff collar and tie.

Speaker 4:
[46:08] Hmm.

Speaker 7:
[46:09] I'd seen somebody who looked like that. I couldn't think where. Where was it? And then I just happened to glance into the bank.

Speaker 4:
[46:24] Yes, sir, what can I do? Oh, what? You're Mr. Ponset, ain't you?

Speaker 7:
[46:29] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[46:30] My, you sure stirred up a lot of talk, Mr. Ponset. The whole town...

Speaker 7:
[46:34] Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4:
[46:37] Mr. Rowan just stepped out for a couple of minutes, but if there's anything I can do...

Speaker 7:
[46:41] You're the teller, aren't you?

Speaker 4:
[46:43] Yes, sir. Been with the bank for 26 years now.

Speaker 7:
[46:47] You don't say.

Speaker 4:
[46:48] My name's Jonas Pilgrim, Mr. Pontchett.

Speaker 7:
[46:50] Ah, well, pleased to meet you, Mr. Pilgrim.

Speaker 4:
[46:53] Of course, if you're in a hurry for something, maybe I could find Mr. Rowan.

Speaker 7:
[46:56] No, no. As a matter of fact, it was you I wanted to talk to.

Speaker 4:
[47:00] Me?

Speaker 7:
[47:00] Yes. Yes. You see, I've just come from a session with Wyatt King over at the jail.

Speaker 4:
[47:08] Oh?

Speaker 7:
[47:09] And he told me about the shooting last night.

Speaker 4:
[47:15] That's really interesting, Mr. Pontchett. Well, I've got some statements to get out now, so if you don't mind, I...

Speaker 7:
[47:22] And King told me about the man who did it.

Speaker 4:
[47:25] Oh, gee.

Speaker 7:
[47:28] You know, it's a funny thing, Mr. Pilgrim. The description he gave me sure fits you right down to that tie you're wearing. And to come to think of it, you're just about the only person in town that does fit.

Speaker 4:
[47:43] I don't know what you mean, sir.

Speaker 7:
[47:44] You don't, huh? You don't. Well, it was nice talking to you.

Speaker 4:
[47:50] Uh, Mr. Pontchart!

Speaker 7:
[47:52] Yeah?

Speaker 4:
[47:53] You, uh, you won't mention this to anybody else.

Speaker 7:
[47:56] Well, I don't see what difference it makes as long as it wasn't you he was talking about.

Speaker 4:
[47:59] Well, it might be kind of embarrassing. I mean, well, uh...

Speaker 7:
[48:07] Just what do you mean?

Speaker 4:
[48:09] Well, all right. All right. I'll admit it to you, Mr. Pontchart. But you got to promise me you won't tell anybody else. You got to give me your word.

Speaker 7:
[48:19] You shot him, huh?

Speaker 4:
[48:20] I didn't intend to. I didn't even know who he was. You see, I wasn't here when he held up the bank.

Speaker 7:
[48:27] Oh?

Speaker 4:
[48:28] I was on my way back to town from Wintertallibur's ranch. I'd rid out the teller that her account was overdrawn again. Uh-huh. And this fella, he cometh me out of the dark, told me he wanted my horse. I didn't even stop to think. I just grabbed my gun and let fire. I never should have done it, Mr. Ponson. I don't know what got into me.

Speaker 7:
[48:50] You're sorry you shot a man like Wyatt King?

Speaker 4:
[48:53] No, no, no, not exactly, but it's kind of hard to explain. The fact is, I'm married, Mr. Ponson. And Matilda, that's my wife, Matilda is kind of particular about some things. She's real particular about me. That's why I got to wear this doggone collar. She cuts my neck so I can hardly stand it sometime.

Speaker 7:
[49:24] Shame, I sure feel sorry for you, Your Honours, but I don't see what that's got any connection with it.

Speaker 4:
[49:30] Well, now, Mr. Ponson, don't you see if Matilda knew, if I so much as carried a gun, would she just have a conniption fit? And if she were to find out that I used to be, well, kind of experienced at gunplay, why, she just raised the roof. I don't think that she'd ever let me get out of her sight after that. You see, I never told her that when I was younger, I used to be sort of quick on the trigger.

Speaker 7:
[50:00] Oh, be doggone. Well, I take it your talents haven't exactly deserted you.

Speaker 4:
[50:05] Well, sir, that was a doggone thing. I wouldn't even had that dangle barber with me, except that Witter Tolliver had given me some money to deposit, and she was real worried about my getting it into town. All right, you see, it was old Smith Tolliver's gun. She insisted on lending it to me.

Speaker 7:
[50:27] I see.

Speaker 4:
[50:28] When this Wyatt King jumped up at me, well, I guess some of my old instincts must come through. At least the next thing I knew, he was laying there in the dirt, not moving. Yeah, I'll be darned. Now, mind you, I wasn't a gunfighter in my younger days, but I did kind of manage to shoot my way out of a few scrapes. I guess I don't look much like it now, do I?

Speaker 7:
[50:55] Well, a man's liable to do a certain amount of aging, I expect.

Speaker 4:
[51:00] Sometimes I think I've done more in my share. Well, anyway, I suppose you can see now why I don't want folks to know what happened last night about me and Wyatt King.

Speaker 7:
[51:11] Yeah, yeah, I guess you've got a point, Jonas. But I can't go on taking the credit for what you did.

Speaker 4:
[51:18] What, Mr. Punchet? You give me your word on it?

Speaker 7:
[51:21] No, no, no, no, I didn't do any such thing.

Speaker 4:
[51:23] Well, you sure did. Why, I wouldn't have been telling you all this if I didn't. What in tarnishing? Mr. Hawkins, Mr. Hawkins, what's all the rumpus about?

Speaker 8:
[51:33] Wyatt King just broke out of jail.

Speaker 4:
[51:35] He broke out of jail?

Speaker 8:
[51:36] Some darn fool forgot to lock his cell. Sheriff thinks he's heading toward Badwater Falls, where we're getting a posse together.

Speaker 4:
[51:41] For goodness sake.

Speaker 8:
[51:42] Well, we won't be needing you, Jonas.

Speaker 4:
[51:44] Oh, no, no, no, of course not.

Speaker 8:
[51:46] But the sheriff was real anxious to have you come along, Mr. Punchet.

Speaker 7:
[51:48] Is that so? Well, I'm sorry, I won't be able to oblige.

Speaker 8:
[51:51] But you've already captured Wyatt once.

Speaker 7:
[51:54] Well, let's just say that once was enough. As a matter of fact, I'm friggin on leaving town. Which way is Badwater Falls?

Speaker 8:
[52:02] South.

Speaker 7:
[52:04] I'm heading north. So long. Well, inside of five minutes, the whole town of Copper Springs had ridden off in the southerly direction, the male population, that is. I guess Jonas and I were about the only two men that hadn't joined up with the Sheriff's Fawzi. In a way, I was kind of relieved that King had broken out of jail. At least I'd be able to leave town without any more of this foolishness about me capturing him. Oh, not that I ever wanted a fellow like King to go free, you understand, but I figured the Fawzi would probably catch up to him pretty soon. He couldn't have had much of a head start. So I headed over the livery stable to get Scar. I'd already paid for his keep in advance, but the man around the stable had gone off with the others and I didn't feel like sticking around for the refund. Easy boy. Easy, Scar. I looked around for his saddle. It was lying on the floor over by a pile of hay. And just as I picked it up, I noticed something funny about the hay. It was starting to move.

Speaker 6:
[53:16] Just keep holding on to that saddle, Ponson, and don't reach for your gun.

Speaker 7:
[53:20] Wyatt.

Speaker 6:
[53:21] If you make a move, I'll ram his pitchfork right through you.

Speaker 7:
[53:24] No, you're crazy, Wyatt. You'll never get out of town.

Speaker 6:
[53:26] There ain't nobody left in town to stop me, except you.

Speaker 7:
[53:30] You got a wound in your belly. That'll stop you.

Speaker 6:
[53:32] Don't worry about me, Ponson. I'll make out. Now, I'm taking your gun and your horse.

Speaker 7:
[53:37] There are plenty of other horses here.

Speaker 6:
[53:39] I'm taking yours.

Speaker 7:
[53:40] Wyatt.

Speaker 6:
[53:42] Shut up, and you'll get a taste of these problems.

Speaker 7:
[53:45] Well, there wasn't any point in my arguing about it, not with a pitchfork digging into my chest. So I waited until he reached out a hand for my gun, and I gave that saddle a little toss, caught him right in the neck. He went over backwards. I started to go from a holster, but Wyatt stuck out the handle of that pitchfork, and the next thing I knew, I was down on the floor beside him. He banged his fist in my face, and I felt his hand go for my throat. I managed to get up on a knee and slipped him over. I heisted myself onto my knee, but he let loose with a kick, and I went flat again. I got a glimpse of his boot coming in on my face, and I just got out of the way on time. And then he missed me and almost lost his balance, and I had time to get on my feet again. I came charging in with both fists again, one of them went past my ear and the other one smashed into my shoulder, and I let them wide open. Well, I just couldn't leave him lying there on the floor unconscious. I figured it wouldn't be very long before he came to, so I picked him up and carted him across the street to where he belonged. The jail was completely deserted, and it wasn't the sign of anybody, but the door to Wyatt's cell was unlocked, so I laid him on the cop inside and pulled the blanket up over him. I didn't want him to catch cold or anything like that. So I found the key in the front office and I locked him in. Hey, Jonas, hold up a minute, Jonas.

Speaker 4:
[55:32] Mr. Pontius, what? I thought you'd left town.

Speaker 7:
[55:35] I'm leaving right away, Jonas, right away. That is, if you'll do me a little favor.

Speaker 4:
[55:40] A favor?

Speaker 7:
[55:41] Yeah, you're through for the day with the bank, aren't you?

Speaker 4:
[55:44] Oh, yes, yes, yes, we close at four o'clock sharp. I'm on my way home now.

Speaker 7:
[55:48] Uh-huh, well, I was wondering if you'd mind putting off your supper a little bit.

Speaker 4:
[55:52] Well, until, huh?

Speaker 7:
[55:54] Until the posse comes back, that is.

Speaker 4:
[55:58] What for, Mr. Pontius?

Speaker 7:
[55:59] You see, I was over at the jail just a minute ago, and there's nobody over there watching things while the sheriff's out of town.

Speaker 4:
[56:06] Well, I don't see what difference it makes. Wyatt King was the only prisoner, and he's escaped.

Speaker 7:
[56:11] Eh, yeah, but even so, you know, now suppose somebody were to break in. Like, they could do a lot of damage, you know. The sheriff's probably got some important papers in the file.

Speaker 4:
[56:21] No, Mr. Pontius.

Speaker 7:
[56:23] No, but you never know, Jonas. You never know about things like that.

Speaker 4:
[56:27] Well, I guess the sheriff should have locked up when he left, but I don't see what...

Speaker 7:
[56:33] Well, then you won't mind holding down the fort while he's gone.

Speaker 4:
[56:37] Well, I... Well, as long as there aren't any prisoners to look after.

Speaker 7:
[56:42] I just wouldn't feel right about running off if there wasn't somebody to mind the jail.

Speaker 4:
[56:49] Well, Mr. Pontius, it sure seems to me like you're worrying unnecessarily, but... Well, I guess I can do that much for you.

Speaker 7:
[56:59] Thanks, Jonas. I really appreciate it. All I have to do is sit in the front office if somebody shows up.

Speaker 4:
[57:04] All right, Mr. Pontius. I'll get right over there.

Speaker 7:
[57:06] So long, Jonas. Good luck to you.

Speaker 4:
[57:08] Yeah. Oh, Mr. Pontius.

Speaker 7:
[57:10] May I?

Speaker 4:
[57:13] I hope you aren't put out about my letting folks think it was you who shot Wyatt King last night.

Speaker 7:
[57:19] Oh, I guess I'll get over it.

Speaker 4:
[57:21] After all, sometimes it is best if a man takes a responsibility for something, even if he hasn't done it himself.

Speaker 7:
[57:30] Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess that's it. Well, I'll be saying, yeah. I just wasn't sure how things were going to work out. But then a couple of weeks later, a copy of the Copper Springs Press caught up with me. And there was Jonah's Pilgrim's Picture all over the front page, yes, sir. Great big article telling how his sheriff and his posse had come back to town without finding a trace of Wyatt. And there he was, right in the jail. And there was Jonah's Pilgrim snoozing in the front office, calm as a cucumber. Mother's Pilgrim, that's what the paper called Jonah. He said he tried to deny having anything to do with Wyatt's capture, but the folks in Copper Springs, they just hadn't believed him. Well, it was plain as day that he'd taken Wyatt single-handed. Well, like Jonah said, sometimes it's best for a man to take the responsibility of a thing even if he hasn't done it.

Speaker 2:
[58:49] The Six Shooter is a transcribed NBC radio network production in association with Revue Productions. It is written by Frank Burtt and is based on a character created by him. Mr. Stewart may currently be seen in the Universal International Picture, the Glenn Miller story. Others in the cast were Bill Johnstone, Herb Bygren, Junius Matthews, Barney Phillips and Joel Cranston. Special music for this program was by Basil Adler, and the entire production is under the direction of Jack Johnstone. All characters and incidents were fictitious, and any resemblance to actual characters or incidents is purely coincidental. By the way, you'll be interested in knowing that The Six Shooter has been chosen for broadcast to our men overseas through the facilities of the Armed Forces Radio Services. This is John Wall speaking. McDonnell Carey stars in Jason and the Golden Fleece tonight on the NBC Radio Network.

Speaker 1:
[59:54] That's The Relic Radio Show for this week. I'll be back tomorrow with Case Closed, an hour of mystery there. In the meantime, you can find more from Philip Morris Playhouse, The Six Shooter, and everything else Relic Radio at the website relicradio.com. That's it for today. Thanks again for joining me. I'll talk to you tomorrow with Case Closed.