transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:13] Ladies and gentlemen, in a world of chaos, so much going on, everyone is so untethered. It is important to bring in reinforcement, and I have done that this week, okay? We are building bridges, we are keeping it one hundo. Morgan Stewart, welcome.

Speaker 2:
[00:29] Oh my, that was an intro off the cuff?

Speaker 1:
[00:31] Yeah, bitch.

Speaker 2:
[00:31] Are you fucking kidding?

Speaker 3:
[00:32] I was like, hi, like mumbling the whole goddamn time.

Speaker 1:
[00:34] She's eating her bar.

Speaker 2:
[00:35] I needed to, I needed to.

Speaker 1:
[00:37] I'm so happy you're here.

Speaker 2:
[00:38] What did we just say off air?

Speaker 1:
[00:41] Off air, off mic. I was like, I love seeing you so often.

Speaker 2:
[00:44] And what did I say back? I said yes.

Speaker 1:
[00:45] She said yes.

Speaker 2:
[00:46] I said same.

Speaker 1:
[00:47] Do you know that you are my most recurring Bitch Bible guest?

Speaker 2:
[00:50] I said not only the second time.

Speaker 1:
[00:52] No, this is like the fourth or fifth. No way. I mean, don't listen to the old episodes cause they are so bad. I mean, I've been doing this for 47 years. That's how we met.

Speaker 2:
[01:02] But first of all, that is how we met, but I don't think I've, I came to you once.

Speaker 1:
[01:07] No, you've come to me a couple of times. You've come to like multiple offices. We just blocked it out.

Speaker 3:
[01:12] A lot has happened. Can we please get those?

Speaker 2:
[01:14] I want to see those. I want to see those and I want to hear those. Thank you.

Speaker 1:
[01:16] Well, you won't see them.

Speaker 2:
[01:18] Oh, there was no video?

Speaker 1:
[01:19] That's what I'm saying. Okay, first of all, I don't want to blow up your spot, but Morgan shows up in full glam, like a fucking bitch to do this podcast.

Speaker 2:
[01:28] We're going to be able to watch this, right?

Speaker 1:
[01:29] I won't, but you can if you'd like.

Speaker 2:
[01:31] Thank God, because I spent $1,000. Here's the thing with me. I don't want to be the girl that gets full glam.

Speaker 1:
[01:35] Okay, you say this every time, but then you do get full glam every time.

Speaker 2:
[01:39] Because I mean it. I mean it. I don't want to be the girl that gets full glam and I don't want to feel dependent and I don't even feel more secure, but the problem is the camera doesn't lie and it's mirroring back to me an image that I don't want to see. I don't want to see it.

Speaker 1:
[01:49] Thank you for your transparency. I would like to just once again say that you have said that every single time I've seen you and it's always a full glam situation and I look like I crawled out of a hole in See Me Valley.

Speaker 2:
[02:00] But you look good. See, when I don't have glam, the eyelids get so, did you see me on Jeff Lewis? I got glam then and I still didn't look good. It's that serious fucking lighting. I hate that fucking place. I love it, but I hate it.

Speaker 1:
[02:10] So, so grateful to be there, but you want to burn it down after this?

Speaker 2:
[02:13] Kind of, everything's purple.

Speaker 3:
[02:15] Like where is the white?

Speaker 1:
[02:16] I can't even get into it. I have no extensions. I have no hair color. I'm fighting for my life.

Speaker 2:
[02:22] I'm like in some weird like airline attendant.

Speaker 3:
[02:24] It's very Air France. I know, it's my new shit.

Speaker 2:
[02:27] I'm like so airline adjacent lately.

Speaker 1:
[02:29] But you're like La Première.

Speaker 2:
[02:30] Yeah, no, by the way, have you been on the new La Première?

Speaker 1:
[02:32] No, I did sniff around though.

Speaker 2:
[02:35] Oh yeah, it's good.

Speaker 1:
[02:36] I don't have enough points for that.

Speaker 2:
[02:37] No, no, I don't even know how we're getting on it, but we're getting on it and it's good.

Speaker 1:
[02:41] Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 2:
[02:42] I feel like I'm Britney when I adjust it.

Speaker 1:
[02:44] I have so many things I want to talk to you about.

Speaker 2:
[02:46] Same, I want to get into pop culture stuff with you too.

Speaker 1:
[02:48] Okay, let's start off with some pop culture because nothing brings peace and unity like two overprivileged white women talking about other overprivileged white women.

Speaker 2:
[02:57] First of all, it is literally like Blonde on Blonde Crime and you're more in their arena because you have the light eyes, which is interesting because I was like, I have the Judaism, but you have the Judaism, but you have the light eyes. So it's three Blonde's blue eyes, one Blonde brown eyes, half Jew, full Jew.

Speaker 1:
[03:12] Right, exactly. So we're basically in the mix.

Speaker 2:
[03:14] We're in the mix.

Speaker 1:
[03:15] What is going on? What is happening? Now, I want to just set this up by saying, I wasn't going to discuss it because I don't want to be like that chicken nugget girl inserting myself in business that does not concern me.

Speaker 2:
[03:27] Agreed.

Speaker 1:
[03:28] You know, cause it does feel a little rat like.

Speaker 2:
[03:31] No, I agree. This is what I think about the situation. First of all, I do want to point, I am terrified to talk about this.

Speaker 1:
[03:35] Okay, yeah, we just want to say that.

Speaker 2:
[03:37] We just want to say that. I'm terrified. First of all, I don't even think there's that much to talk about. I do want to say I've exchanged a few messages with Cooper.

Speaker 1:
[03:42] Same.

Speaker 2:
[03:43] I know Cooper, you know Cooper. We've all had dinner. The last time we all had dinner, what did I do?

Speaker 1:
[03:48] You told me that I was pregnant.

Speaker 3:
[03:49] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[03:49] And what was I doing? Drinking heavily.

Speaker 3:
[03:51] Heavily.

Speaker 1:
[03:51] Big foreheads are in, everybody.

Speaker 2:
[03:52] Yes, literally.

Speaker 3:
[03:53] And we found out what?

Speaker 2:
[03:54] Did we find out the next morning?

Speaker 1:
[03:56] Yeah, the very next morning.

Speaker 2:
[03:57] I like knew.

Speaker 1:
[03:58] It was pretty crazy. I literally sat down and Morgan looks at me and she goes, look at my arms, just like what you did two seconds ago.

Speaker 2:
[04:05] To show validation.

Speaker 1:
[04:07] She's like, look at my arms. I'm like, I know you're frail, you're thin. We get it. Shut up and sit down, glam girl. And then she's like, you're pregnant. I'm like, you're a fucking bitch. Okay, if you want to say that I'm fluctuating, just say that I'm fluctuating. Remember how many jokes I was making that night too?

Speaker 2:
[04:22] Like guzzling.

Speaker 1:
[04:23] Guzzling for my life. And I ordered the brand Zeno. I'm like, if you have a side of Plan B, put it with the broccolini.

Speaker 2:
[04:28] By the way, Plan B is so chic.

Speaker 1:
[04:30] Oh, I know. I've only taken it once.

Speaker 2:
[04:32] Oh, I've taken it like for breakfast. Okay, so here are my thoughts on the situation. Number one, what are my fucking thoughts? Okay, here's the deal. I know Alex Cooper. I do not know Alix Earle.

Speaker 1:
[04:45] Same.

Speaker 2:
[04:45] I like Alix Earle. I find her content soothing. I find her likable. I have no negative feelings about that girl.

Speaker 1:
[04:50] I've heard the greatest things about her.

Speaker 2:
[04:52] Same.

Speaker 1:
[04:52] Everyone who knows her says she's wonderful.

Speaker 2:
[04:55] She's become like a part of the zeitgeist. She's just like overnight, like our new girl, right? So I support it. I knew there was some falling out. I assume business-related, it was an ego vibe. It just wasn't a fit. First of all, I will say, I'll go on record and say this. I do think by the time Alex Earle signed on to Unwell, am I just like doing the news right now?

Speaker 1:
[05:13] Yes. Barbara Walters could fucking never. She has resurrected from the grave.

Speaker 2:
[05:17] Thank you. I do think Alex Earle signed on to Unwell. It was too late for her to do that. She was already too big. That was not ever going to work out. But they're two girls. They don't like each other. Business falls out. Alex Cooper continues to be Alix Cooper, and Alix Earle continues to just blow shit up. I mean, she's really broken barriers here, right?

Speaker 3:
[05:40] The skin care is crazy. Crazy. Crazy. What was it?

Speaker 2:
[05:42] It was like a million dollars in under five minutes. I don't know if that's verified. Can we check that?

Speaker 1:
[05:46] No, it sounds right.

Speaker 2:
[05:47] It sounds right.

Speaker 1:
[05:47] We don't fact check here.

Speaker 2:
[05:48] My point is, is that it's not like they broke up, they had a bad business dealing, and then Alix Cooper continues to be Alix Cooper, and then Alix Earle goes nowhere.

Speaker 1:
[05:56] Totally.

Speaker 2:
[05:56] So my only thought is...

Speaker 1:
[05:58] Two women flourishing.

Speaker 2:
[05:59] Flourishing. So my only thought is like, Alix Earle, if she's pissed at Cooper and hates her fucking guts, fine. You have a sister, you have a mom, you have a stepmom, you have a dad, hate her in private because it's almost beneath you.

Speaker 1:
[06:13] Right, blow up the group chats.

Speaker 2:
[06:15] Say I fucking hate her. Tell everyone you hate her, who cares? But to continuously repost things, I just feel like isn't where she needs to be. I'm not saying her feelings aren't valid, and she's probably pissed about something, but she is doing so well, just like-

Speaker 1:
[06:29] Control the double tap.

Speaker 2:
[06:31] Just be like, I hate that fucking bitch to people in your real life, because why even insert yourself in a narrative that you don't even need to be a part of because you're already so relevant.

Speaker 1:
[06:38] Right, right, right.

Speaker 2:
[06:39] Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:
[06:40] No, 100%. But then Cooper hits us Monday morning after Coachella. The timing of it, listen, does it give me a gay old chuckle? It sure fucking does.

Speaker 3:
[06:48] I love the timing.

Speaker 2:
[06:50] That anxiety thing.

Speaker 1:
[06:51] I literally texted her, I said, I don't know what's going on. I'm like Jodie Foster in the bush, okay? I don't know what's happening. But what I do know is that that video gave me chills down my spine and indigestion by proxy. Regardless of any of the details, I'm like, whoa, direct to camera, no filibuster, no ums. I just feel like that was a direct declarative statement.

Speaker 2:
[07:17] If you gave me $12,000 to deliver that message with no um, it wouldn't happen. Not a shot in fucking hell would I be able, I'd be like, listen.

Speaker 3:
[07:24] I'd be like, oh my God, what are we having for lunch? God, my hair color's so bad.

Speaker 1:
[07:28] Anyways, wait, what was I saying?

Speaker 3:
[07:30] I'm mad at you and I'm upset.

Speaker 2:
[07:32] Like it would not even, so the fact that she in a world full of just pee, oh, yes, Alex's skincare line made 1 million and less than 5 million.

Speaker 3:
[07:40] A little delayed on the tips, but we like it.

Speaker 2:
[07:42] I love that fucking whiteboard. Alex Earle's our new fucking Pamela Anderson Kim Kardashian combined.

Speaker 1:
[07:48] Totally.

Speaker 2:
[07:49] Do you think that's irrelevant? That's a factual thing to say.

Speaker 1:
[07:51] I mean, it was a weird reference for me, but sure.

Speaker 2:
[07:54] But those two together.

Speaker 1:
[07:55] Yes, sure.

Speaker 2:
[07:56] Right? Because she's breaking barriers, but she's also like our bombshell.

Speaker 1:
[07:59] OK, yeah, I'm back.

Speaker 2:
[08:00] Did we all get it? Did we get where we are? She's our bombshell.

Speaker 1:
[08:03] OK.

Speaker 2:
[08:04] What the fuck are we talking about? What were you saying?

Speaker 3:
[08:06] Oh, totally forgot.

Speaker 1:
[08:12] Back to business. OK, Barbara Walters, she's gone again. Um, the message, the Monday morning post Coachella 7 a.m. scheduled draft to upload to Die For.

Speaker 2:
[08:24] To Die For, but also...

Speaker 1:
[08:26] So funny.

Speaker 2:
[08:26] I have to say, this is where my Gemini mind splits in half. But when I saw Alex Earle's, like, waking up, like, I used to do Coachella. I was doing Molly all weekend and whatever other various substances. There is no hangover like it. I'm not saying she did that, but I'm sure she had a good time.

Speaker 1:
[08:40] It's just the dust and dust alone will really take a bitch out.

Speaker 2:
[08:44] To wake up, eyes not even open, the sister and the best friend, I would have been like, you guys get the fuck out of my room. I need to be awake, ice rolled, showered, and then I can address, because the nervous system rocking at that point so early, I was a little annoyed for her. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1:
[08:59] No, she needed a high pressure hose to the face to like recalibrate and like clean in a high gear.

Speaker 2:
[09:04] Because here's what happened. She looks at the video, she grabs the phone. By the way, I have two kids in a full life and I'm totally locked into this. It's so lame.

Speaker 1:
[09:12] I know. I mean, it is pathetic for our species, but it's all we have.

Speaker 2:
[09:17] It's all we have. But grabbing the phone right after and your body not even being fully awake and then having to like go into that sort of mode, I felt bad for her a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[09:25] But like the way she metabolized it, pretty cool, calm and collected. I mean, we could say that just as an outsider looking in, no skin in the game. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2:
[09:32] Funny. I was like, oh my God. That's when you know you're supposed to be a big star. I don't have that.

Speaker 1:
[09:38] We'd be ripping those K tips out of our head.

Speaker 2:
[09:40] I would be like, it would not have been okay.

Speaker 1:
[09:44] Indigestion by proxy.

Speaker 2:
[09:46] Here's the other thing. I don't know if you've thought about it this way.

Speaker 1:
[09:49] Give it to me.

Speaker 2:
[09:51] Alex Cooper, I'm going to fuck up their names. Alex Cooper did a very unfiltered straight to the camera thing.

Speaker 1:
[09:57] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[09:57] Everyone is now waiting on Alex Earle. Alex Earle is busy. My point, going back to my original point, she's got real active.

Speaker 1:
[10:03] She's walking the dog, she's doing Pilates.

Speaker 2:
[10:05] She's doing Leora Cafe collaborations. She has shit going on. So she, I'm sure, as her human person, wants to get on that mic and go back and say, hey, this is diss tracks of the Blonde Girls, I fucking die, go back and be like, hey, this is why I fucking hate you. Now there's all these people that are like, you can't do that.

Speaker 1:
[10:21] You think?

Speaker 2:
[10:22] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[10:22] You think she's going to just leave it? She's never going to close the loop?

Speaker 2:
[10:26] There's a team in place for Alex Earle right now. I would bet my life on it. That is like, you're not fucking doing anything. She's pissed about it, for sure. You want to see my arm?

Speaker 1:
[10:36] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[10:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[10:38] Let's look at her arm.

Speaker 2:
[10:39] She's pissed about it and she's like, I want to fucking respond. They're like, no, no, no, you only get one shot at this, right? You can't. Fuck it up. It's like Eminem, the movie, when they did the battles.

Speaker 1:
[10:47] Right. Spaghetti Moms. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[10:49] Spaghetti Moms.

Speaker 1:
[10:50] Yeah. Thank you so much for listening, everybody.

Speaker 2:
[10:59] Is the whiteboard coming back up?

Speaker 3:
[11:00] They're like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2:
[11:03] My only thing is we're in a world of like this PR thing, and we know Alex Earle in such a raw real way. We were looking at her dirty bedroom, so I just don't want her now to have to get so censored that she can't come back out with her own version of what Alex did.

Speaker 1:
[11:18] Right. But people are saying, isn't it a cool look if she just never closes the loop and just remains unbothered and just keeps it fucking moving? I don't think so, really.

Speaker 2:
[11:26] No, I think she's gotta say something.

Speaker 1:
[11:28] You gotta say something. I think that was Alex Cooper's whole mission statement, was like don't float it, don't soft tease it, don't regurgitate other people's kind of conceptions about me. If you have something, bring it.

Speaker 2:
[11:42] Right.

Speaker 1:
[11:42] Which is scary.

Speaker 2:
[11:43] Which is scary and it's always very difficult to explain things back that don't happen to other people. If you're upset about something, unless it is like a tangible act, unless this girl fucked my boyfriend or my husband did X, or there's like an actual thing that the human race can relate to, it's hard to be like, well, I signed to Unwell but I didn't like how she treated me in that interview. It just becomes convoluted and difficult and her feelings are valid, but the delivery might get lost because as we know, people have a very short attention span and not everyone's operating with a full deck.

Speaker 1:
[12:17] Oh, amen.

Speaker 2:
[12:18] Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[12:19] Oh, I know what you're saying.

Speaker 2:
[12:20] So at the end of the day, they're both really fucking relevant and I just don't think I'm ever going to be that relevant.

Speaker 3:
[12:25] It's really what I mean.

Speaker 1:
[12:26] This is what we need to do.

Speaker 2:
[12:27] Yeah, tell me.

Speaker 1:
[12:28] I've floated this to a couple of gals in the space. Okay. Downloads start slumping, we start feuding.

Speaker 2:
[12:33] Let's do it.

Speaker 1:
[12:34] I have an idea for us.

Speaker 2:
[12:35] Okay, what is it?

Speaker 1:
[12:36] Okay. Once this expires and they want some old horse seeking relevancy to start a feud, it's going to be Morgan versus Jackie.

Speaker 2:
[12:46] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[12:46] This is what happens.

Speaker 2:
[12:47] What happens?

Speaker 1:
[12:48] You put me in contact with your Hermes sales associate.

Speaker 2:
[12:52] Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[12:52] I fly to Paris to get my entry level Birkin.

Speaker 2:
[12:55] Got it.

Speaker 1:
[12:55] Times are tough. Okay. The pool reno is more expensive than I had anticipated. I start flipping Birkins with your contact. You get upset about it, we stop speaking.

Speaker 3:
[13:05] Got it.

Speaker 1:
[13:05] Boom.

Speaker 2:
[13:06] That's it. You know what? That goes nationwide.

Speaker 3:
[13:08] That's huge.

Speaker 2:
[13:09] That goes global.

Speaker 1:
[13:10] Downloads through the roof.

Speaker 3:
[13:11] Through the roof.

Speaker 1:
[13:11] Don't you think that's a good idea?

Speaker 2:
[13:13] I think we're locked and loaded.

Speaker 1:
[13:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[13:15] That's our plan.

Speaker 1:
[13:16] We could workshop it to be beefier.

Speaker 3:
[13:18] Oh, no. 100%.

Speaker 2:
[13:18] Or we could even try to arrive at the same time after when you go get your second Birkin and that's my Birkin. And I'm taking it. And then you're taking it and then my sales associate sides with you, but then they should have stayed with me.

Speaker 3:
[13:29] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[13:29] Sure. So I just colored it in.

Speaker 1:
[13:31] Okay. And then we'll amp it up with more details.

Speaker 3:
[13:33] More salacious details.

Speaker 2:
[13:34] And then get leaks to the press that you flew first class and I had to go coach.

Speaker 1:
[13:38] Oh, well, we know that would never happen.

Speaker 2:
[13:41] By the way, no. It would not.

Speaker 1:
[13:42] Not in a million fucking years. Can you imagine?

Speaker 2:
[13:45] Wait. Okay. Just to close this loopy.

Speaker 1:
[13:46] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[13:47] Do you think Earle says nothing or do you think something comes?

Speaker 1:
[13:50] I think something is coming.

Speaker 3:
[13:53] The ominous chill. I know. I know.

Speaker 1:
[13:57] Something's coming.

Speaker 2:
[13:58] I know.

Speaker 1:
[13:58] I don't like it. Something's coming. And it's so funny like the discourse on the internet because it's all just so regurgitated of like, why are we putting women against women? Like, why are women-

Speaker 2:
[14:06] Women hate women.

Speaker 1:
[14:07] Because you know what? Biologically, we're not the same. We are superior in so many ways, but we're at the end of the day, petty dumb bitches. And it's entertaining and it's fodder and it's stupid. It doesn't make us evolved, but it is what it is and we all have to just lean in and accept it.

Speaker 2:
[14:21] A hundred percent.

Speaker 1:
[14:21] It's not great.

Speaker 2:
[14:23] No, it's not. And I also, I do, I wonder if they will regret getting into this. Like, cause I mean, how, I mean, again, back to the just sort of like lives they're leading, like beneath both their time.

Speaker 1:
[14:31] No, totally. Like go on vacation, have a nice lunch. Right? Like go by a top. I don't know. Literally just go by a top and go have a nice lunch because it is, it's reading very bothered. It's reading very tense. And I do feel like I think Cooper is very, very smart. And I don't think she would put a video out like that. If there was like concrete emails, evidence, like that were not in favor of her. I don't think she would do it. She is, she is like a politician. And I mean that honestly, as a compliment, you know what I mean? And it is two big dogs in a space. I think Cooper is...

Speaker 2:
[15:11] Well, is this, Cooper's due for this, right? Because when you are at the top for so long, I mean, this is the reckoning. This is what we do to women.

Speaker 1:
[15:19] It's what happens.

Speaker 2:
[15:20] And to men. I'm not a man hater. Like I don't want to do this only happens to women.

Speaker 1:
[15:23] No.

Speaker 2:
[15:23] When you're a woman in a space and you are at the top of your game, we praise you, we love you, we listen to everything you say, we buy everything you sell, and then we fucking hate you. We burn you with the steak. And then we're like, get out of our lives.

Speaker 3:
[15:35] And then it's like, I miss her. Bring her back, let's bring, you know what, it's been too hard on her.

Speaker 2:
[15:41] Yeah, it's been two years, so it's time. Like it's Alex's, it's her reckoning at this point. Like she, this is what happens, there's only good for so long. You only can be on so many Forbes covers and so many like groundbreaking podcast deals, and then people come for you.

Speaker 1:
[15:55] People do come for you.

Speaker 2:
[15:56] And then you, that's fine.

Speaker 1:
[15:57] And we pivot accordingly.

Speaker 2:
[15:58] And you pivot.

Speaker 1:
[15:59] We pivot accordingly.

Speaker 2:
[16:00] Pivot accordingly.

Speaker 1:
[16:01] That is the takeaway here. Write that down, everybody.

Speaker 2:
[16:03] Seriously.

Speaker 1:
[16:05] I've been seeing a million and one Tickety Talks about how to care for your gut health. And I'm going to be honest, I still have no idea what a microbiome is. I'm not a scientist, just a gorgeous, gaunt woman sharing tips and tricks that she loves. One thing I have been loving lately is drinking Brodo. This podcast is sponsored by Brodo. Welcome to the hottest trend in nutrition for the last 2000 years, bone broth. Okay. Brodo's bone broths are made from scratch, no concentrates, preservatives or shortcuts. So you get the best broth money can buy. My favorite flavor is the roasted garlic and chili. Okay. It's perfection. It's got a little heat. It's flavorful. Brodo makes bone broths that are delicious enough to drink. Each cup delivers whole food protein, collagen building amino acids, electrolytes and nutrients to support gut health. Okay. Immunity joints and general wellness, all under 50 calories with zero sugar or fat. I don't know how they do it, okay? A 2025 study found that amino acids in broth heals leaky guts and strengthens the immune system. Andrew and I have been on a bit of a bone broth journey, which is embarrassing because we're hardly the beacons of wellness, but it has changed the game for us and the only bone broth I drink is Brodo. Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo. Head to brodo.com/bitchbible for 20 percent off your first subscription order, and use code bitchbible for an additional $10 off. Once again, that's brodo.com/bitchbible for 20 percent off your first subscription order, and an additional $10 off if you use my promo code bitchbible. When I think back to being pregnant with Clyde, a little chill goes down my spine. I had a relatively easy pregnancy, but when I was dealing with all the nausea and bloating and prep work, when all I wanted to do is curl up in a ball and watch pony reruns for the 87th time, my tits were hanging to the floor, I was hanging on for dear life, there was nothing that mattered more to me than being comfortable. That is why I'm so excited to be partnering with Kindred Bravely, who makes intimates and apparel for maternity, postpartum and breastfeeding, as well as baby essentials, all designed to make early motherhood feel a little less overwhelming and a lot more supportive, if you know what I mean. I remember I had so many girlfriends that recommended Kindred Bravely to me when I was pregnant with Clyde, and I just didn't have the brain cells to compute, and I was gifted a bunch of their products, and it changed the game for me. The Simply Sublime Nursing Bra, a game changer. All of my girlfriends swear by this. It's pillowy soft, and all their products, you just can't compete with. The bamboo pajama set, get out of here. Right now, Kindred Bravely is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to kindredbravely.com. That is kindredbravely.com/jackie for 20% off your first order. Make sure you use our links so they know that we sent you. Exclusions apply. Wait, I want to do a little rapid fire with you. We're going to talk more pop culture. When I was in the bath last week-

Speaker 2:
[19:06] By the way, I'm happy we got to do this together because I had a solo episode yesterday and I didn't talk about it once.

Speaker 1:
[19:10] No, you can't talk about it with yourself because then it starts going like in a merry-go-round. It gets into a loop, and then you need someone to bounce like ideas, and then you have to raise the facial.

Speaker 2:
[19:17] When is this going to go live?

Speaker 1:
[19:18] Tuesday.

Speaker 2:
[19:19] Guys, we need to be timely. We need to get this out, our versions. Okay, good.

Speaker 1:
[19:22] Timely, timely, timely. Wait, how do you feel about the New Moon portal being opened up in Aries this weekend? Have you heard about that?

Speaker 2:
[19:28] Yeah. What does that mean? Because I'm Aries Moon and I'm a little worried.

Speaker 1:
[19:30] Literally don't know. Just heard someone say it on the radio. Thought I'd bring it up. Was hoping you would have more information. Okay. Let's get back to my list. Was hoping that would buy me five minutes while I got my phone out.

Speaker 2:
[19:47] See, blonde white women can like each other.

Speaker 1:
[19:49] Totally. I just want to run through a couple of things and I want to get your take on them.

Speaker 2:
[19:56] Moon Portal.

Speaker 4:
[19:56] Can you Google what it means?

Speaker 2:
[19:57] Thanks.

Speaker 1:
[19:58] Moon Portal, sending in Aries or so to manifest what's good for yourself. No.

Speaker 2:
[20:02] Is it coming out again?

Speaker 1:
[20:03] Oh God. Someone's with a fucking whiteboard. I don't participate in any of that.

Speaker 2:
[20:07] It's not for me.

Speaker 1:
[20:08] That was really good by the way.

Speaker 2:
[20:10] I saw someone didn't like the dress.

Speaker 1:
[20:11] Are you joking? Someone's like, okay, I got that in Paris. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

Speaker 2:
[20:19] But also your face.

Speaker 1:
[20:20] It was a better face back then.

Speaker 2:
[20:22] No, the skin's winning always. It's very even and taut.

Speaker 1:
[20:26] It was taut. I got chin filler recently and she slipped away. I'll never do it again.

Speaker 2:
[20:31] Really?

Speaker 1:
[20:32] It was the first time getting chin filler.

Speaker 2:
[20:33] I've definitely done that.

Speaker 1:
[20:34] Okay, so I got it in this part of my jaw, and I used to be able to feel it like a little invisible worm, a little friend of mine.

Speaker 2:
[20:41] And now it's gone.

Speaker 1:
[20:42] And I used to feel her every day and I'd say thank you for the symmetry. And like two days ago, she's gone.

Speaker 3:
[20:48] Have you gone to Diamond?

Speaker 1:
[20:49] No.

Speaker 2:
[20:50] You got to go to Diamond.

Speaker 1:
[20:51] Okay, it'll stay put.

Speaker 2:
[20:53] He's got the, he knows what to do.

Speaker 1:
[20:54] Okay, because I need to figure something out because my little friend is gone. And I'm like, now has she trickled?

Speaker 2:
[20:59] Into your neck?

Speaker 1:
[21:00] Into my neck?

Speaker 2:
[21:01] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[21:02] I think she's slid.

Speaker 2:
[21:02] But your face looks great. Sorry, okay, what's your wrap-up?

Speaker 1:
[21:05] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[21:05] Before I go into like your face for two hours.

Speaker 1:
[21:06] I was going to say ankle boots, but we've already covered that.

Speaker 2:
[21:09] Oh my God. It's like the dead family, the husband getting back together in the ankle boots.

Speaker 1:
[21:12] Right, exactly. We're never talking about it again. I didn't even bring up your dead family.

Speaker 2:
[21:17] By the way, if one more person is like, I went on a podcast like three, I'm always on a fucking podcast.

Speaker 1:
[21:22] Welcome.

Speaker 2:
[21:22] Jesus, she's like, how's the grief?

Speaker 1:
[21:24] I'm like, oh Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2:
[21:26] It's always there. Can we move on?

Speaker 1:
[21:28] Literally, I was at Passover dinner, my cousin looks at me and he's like, what happened to you is so crazy. And I was like, shit happens, pass the heroset. I'm like, yeah, I know. And he's like, and Andrew, because Andrew lost both of his parents. It's fucking crazy. I'm like, oh my God, he did? Thanks. We know. We know. Shut up.

Speaker 2:
[21:46] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[21:46] Shit happens.

Speaker 2:
[21:47] It does.

Speaker 1:
[21:47] That's what I say. Okay. Cross body bags.

Speaker 2:
[21:50] I like your nails.

Speaker 1:
[21:52] No, no. That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about.

Speaker 2:
[21:54] I actually really think they're really nice. And when you were starting and tapping, I really liked them.

Speaker 1:
[21:57] Wait, I want to talk to you about something that happened to me, then we will get back to this list. Yes.

Speaker 2:
[22:02] I love them. Okay, tell me.

Speaker 1:
[22:03] Okay. So yesterday, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark place. I thought I was, I was at the nail place. And I thought maybe we'll get a little experimental. Okay. And I think this probably happens to you a lot. People always say that they're nervous about what they're wearing in front of you, correct?

Speaker 2:
[22:18] All the time. Do you see what I look like?

Speaker 1:
[22:21] No, you're perfect, but like everyone says that to you. And I do feel that people try to jack your style all the time.

Speaker 2:
[22:27] They do. That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[22:28] In a world like I want to dress like you. I want to be in a trouser with a ballet flat, but I am just a tacky rat. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[22:36] I understand your tack. I get it.

Speaker 1:
[22:38] I, I can't dress like that. People would be like, you are not being yourself.

Speaker 2:
[22:42] Right.

Speaker 3:
[22:43] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[22:44] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[22:44] I'm, the fact that I am in like a black Celine jumpsuit.

Speaker 3:
[22:47] By the way, I know.

Speaker 1:
[22:48] Is the most, this is like a very tasteful version of myself. You know what I mean? Like this is actually, this is my funeral jumpsuit.

Speaker 2:
[22:55] Is it?

Speaker 1:
[22:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[22:55] By the way, that's really chic.

Speaker 1:
[22:57] I literally bought this for funerals. I have two funeral outfits. Cause I like, you know, we were just-

Speaker 2:
[23:03] Cause they just, they just keep coming.

Speaker 1:
[23:05] I'm like, listen, I have a funeral jumpsuit for like a daytime spring, like a celebration of life, something not too sad. Cause it's like a little more, you know, it's light, it's airy, we're hogging, we're eating deli meats, whatever. And then I have like a more like formal, like a St. Laurent, like beautiful, like pussy bow dress.

Speaker 2:
[23:23] Did we talk about, have you done, has Chelsea Handler done your show?

Speaker 1:
[23:25] No, she will not do this.

Speaker 2:
[23:26] Oh no, she won't.

Speaker 1:
[23:28] No.

Speaker 2:
[23:28] Have we asked?

Speaker 1:
[23:29] She was scheduled at one point and then it was canceled. And then we haven't asked since. But I did use to pick up her dog shit at Chelsea lately, so she should probably come on over.

Speaker 2:
[23:40] Yeah, I think so. Maybe the three of us get in the room. Okay. Because I just asked our mutual hairdresser, will she do it? And I don't know if he's responded. So I'll let you know what happens. Oh, she does every other one, so I don't see why not. I can mention it.

Speaker 1:
[23:55] Oh no, I know. I'm clocking what other shows she's going on.

Speaker 3:
[23:58] I'm like, mom, that feels like she should come here. But it's okay.

Speaker 2:
[24:01] Are we not? Okay, I'm sorry. I'm taking us down. Anyway, your nails. Experimental.

Speaker 1:
[24:05] Okay, so this is my funeral jumpsuit. Here's my nail trauma. I went and I thought, maybe I'm going to get a buttery yellow nail. I know. And I thought, oh, Morgan's going to hate that. But I thought, maybe I just give it a go because I'm a woman of independence and I stick to my convictions. I'm not going to pivot my nail choice because I'm afraid. Because that makes me a coward and a fucking weirdo.

Speaker 2:
[24:29] That's somebody who says I'm in a video, in a confrontational video.

Speaker 1:
[24:33] And hits you with a trouser in a ballet flat against their own will because they're trying to impress you. So I started the butter yellow nail. I was a dark, dark place. And they did one coat and I thought, oh my God, this is like trying to be out of pocket. Now I'm just trying to do a thing. I'm so desperately holding on to a shrivel of identity. Now I don't even know who I am anymore. So then I thought, but it had already kind of started the process. And I didn't want to start all over again. So I thought, okay, now we need to pivot. So I have one coat of pale yellow. Then I'm like, we need to counteract this and make this a pale pink. So I had to go find another color that I had to mix with the pale yellow, which thank God I'm so in the trenches of interior design where I know how to mix pink colors. I'm very well versed in Pharaoh and Ball and like all of these things. So I know my color palettes to fix the pale yellow. So it's pale yellow with a like, don't bossa nova me around.

Speaker 3:
[25:29] Don't bossa nova me around.

Speaker 1:
[25:31] A top coat and then it still wasn't reading. It was a little too fresh and then I hit it with chrome. So I am a tiramisu of tragedy.

Speaker 2:
[25:38] Got it, but can I tell you, I fucking love it. It's really pretty and I am not just saying that. It's not, and fresh.

Speaker 1:
[25:45] It's not terrible.

Speaker 2:
[25:46] No, I think it's pretty. You know what it is? It's when you have the long almondy nails with that. That's when it gets a little crazy for me. That's beautiful. So is that like a builder gel?

Speaker 1:
[25:54] It's a bio gel, so it's like an organic gel.

Speaker 2:
[25:57] Yeah, I need to, because I do regular and mine are already chipping off.

Speaker 1:
[26:00] See, I can't, I pick them off, so I need something that's like, we're staying.

Speaker 2:
[26:03] I know, but the, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:04] But I don't want to get a chunky, chodey nail. I don't want a thick nail.

Speaker 2:
[26:07] Yeah, they did a good job.

Speaker 1:
[26:09] They did a good job. I mean, considering there's three fucking layers on these puppies, starting with a butter yellow.

Speaker 2:
[26:14] Pale yellow is like hepatitis related.

Speaker 3:
[26:16] It's so crazy.

Speaker 2:
[26:17] Like it's like a jaundice mess. You can't be doing pale yellow.

Speaker 1:
[26:19] I know, it's so bad.

Speaker 2:
[26:21] That's why I just wear the same color every time.

Speaker 1:
[26:22] It's working.

Speaker 2:
[26:23] Thank you.

Speaker 1:
[26:24] It's working. Thank you. What were we saying? Crossbody bags. Crossbody bags. How do you feel about crossbody bags?

Speaker 2:
[26:29] I like some of them.

Speaker 1:
[26:31] Would you wear a crossbody bag? Of course not.

Speaker 2:
[26:33] TBD, Coachella. If I was at Coachella with Alex Earle, I would.

Speaker 1:
[26:35] Or like at Disneyland with your children?

Speaker 2:
[26:37] Or that. By the way, me like manifesting being at Coachella with Alex Earle. Is she going weekend too? No, she has a video to do.

Speaker 1:
[26:42] Would you go to Coachella?

Speaker 2:
[26:44] Absolutely.

Speaker 1:
[26:45] Oh really?

Speaker 2:
[26:46] I'd complain. I'd be upset there.

Speaker 1:
[26:47] Oh, of course, you have to.

Speaker 2:
[26:49] Because I feel like it's, yeah, like it feels like very so close yet so far.

Speaker 1:
[26:54] I was going to go with my son.

Speaker 2:
[26:56] That's a little crazy.

Speaker 1:
[26:57] That's crazy, right?

Speaker 2:
[26:57] What are you going to do with him?

Speaker 1:
[26:59] Well, I was just going to like bring him for an hour.

Speaker 2:
[27:01] Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 1:
[27:02] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[27:03] Is it fun?

Speaker 1:
[27:04] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[27:04] I don't think. When was the last time you went to Coachella?

Speaker 1:
[27:06] It's been years.

Speaker 2:
[27:07] Yeah. I don't think it's like-

Speaker 1:
[27:08] And the last time I went, we were with an artist and we had like a police escort.

Speaker 2:
[27:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:11] It's fucking awesome.

Speaker 2:
[27:12] That's how you do it. And also, I think there's like a lot more people than you remember. So I don't think that's Clyde friendly.

Speaker 1:
[27:16] That's what everyone's saying and I was like, well, what if I don't put him in the audience and I just like keep him side stage with headphones?

Speaker 2:
[27:23] Yeah, because you're in that world.

Speaker 1:
[27:24] So I could do that and he loves it. Like he loves concerts.

Speaker 3:
[27:28] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[27:28] That's a cool kid.

Speaker 3:
[27:29] Fuck.

Speaker 2:
[27:29] God damn it. My kids are not cool. My kids are like beating the shit out of each other.

Speaker 1:
[27:32] My son's a full bully at school. That's a whole other conversation. He's pushing children.

Speaker 2:
[27:37] No, they don't push anyone else or hit or scratch anyone else. They will just fucking kill each other.

Speaker 1:
[27:42] Oh, okay.

Speaker 2:
[27:43] Yeah. Pulling each other's hair, calling each other stupid, throwing scooters at each other. Like they're kind of weird. My mom, my daughter told me I was dumb yesterday. Oh. She's doing that a lot. And I'm like-

Speaker 1:
[27:52] In what context?

Speaker 2:
[27:53] And now I'm like, first of all, we've gotten a don't talk to your mother like that, which is, first of all, I'm basically a virgin. I'm like, baby, you can't be talking about me. Like I'm someone's mother.

Speaker 1:
[28:01] Right. I know.

Speaker 2:
[28:02] Don't talk to your mother.

Speaker 1:
[28:03] Isn't it so funny how people are so quick to like identify themselves as mamas? I'm like, ew, gross. I'm like young and fine. I'm having tap water out of a red cup.

Speaker 2:
[28:12] No, he was like, don't talk to your mother. That was like, oh, we're doing that. And she'll just be like stupid mama. And I'm like, ooh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. And then I'm like, don't talk, but then I don't win. We gotta work on it. Okay, sorry, cross body bags. What else?

Speaker 1:
[28:25] Jeffrey Campbell. Do you know what that is? And?

Speaker 2:
[28:29] I think it's great for whoever needs it.

Speaker 1:
[28:31] You are such a dirty liar. Eritzia.

Speaker 2:
[28:34] You know, I think it's reliable.

Speaker 1:
[28:40] Have you ever been in Eritzia? No. Okay, I have a list of places that I want to take you.

Speaker 2:
[28:45] Should we make that a show?

Speaker 1:
[28:46] We're going to Home Goods. Morgan thought Home Goods was the same thing as Cost Plus World Market.

Speaker 2:
[28:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:52] Which is not correct.

Speaker 2:
[28:53] Which is not the same thing.

Speaker 1:
[28:54] But we will go. And then I asked Morgan recently, I'm like, have you been to an anthropology? She's like, of course not.

Speaker 2:
[29:01] I definitely have. There's one on South Beverly Drive. They have like earrings and then soap.

Speaker 1:
[29:05] Right, of course. Okay, so you have been.

Speaker 2:
[29:07] It's like the adult urban outfitters.

Speaker 1:
[29:11] That is very accurate. That is very accurate. Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:
[29:15] Who's relatable?

Speaker 1:
[29:16] Oh my God, get her a campaign at Anthro, baby.

Speaker 2:
[29:19] And you know what? Every time I drive by urban outfitters, I'm like, still in business.

Speaker 1:
[29:24] Oh my God, still in business. I know, with those ruffly little fucking skirts, it's like the same clothes too. When you go into an Oritia, it's like hell on earth. You walk in and they're like, hey baby girl, oh my God, you look so cute.

Speaker 3:
[29:36] Hey girl, hey doll, girly girl, come out.

Speaker 1:
[29:38] They have no mirrors in the dressing rooms, so they make you come out and do like a limited two fashion show and then they make comments. You could look like death. You could look like, I mean, the most unflattering and they're like, girl, yes baby, yes mommy, oh my God, you look so, and you're just like, what did I do to deserve this? So never go there. Eyelash extensions.

Speaker 2:
[29:58] I like them if they're done naturally. I cannot keep my eyes closed for that long. I have like a phobia of things on the eye.

Speaker 1:
[30:04] I'm not an eyelash extension person.

Speaker 2:
[30:06] No, absolutely not.

Speaker 1:
[30:06] I can only figure out, really like one and a half out of the three components of looking decent. Do you know what I mean? And never, I can do like a little bit of each. Like the hair can be like not terrible. The makeup can be on-ish. And the outfit can be like unsteamed, but barely holding it on. But I can never execute three.

Speaker 2:
[30:26] No, I'm the same way. I really am, unless I enlist help, but even still.

Speaker 1:
[30:30] No, it's just not working for me.

Speaker 2:
[30:32] Yeah, no, I get it. I can like do outfit, but I can't ever do face because it's like consistently pretty throughout day and hair always needs to be brushed.

Speaker 1:
[30:39] Oh, I mean, when you have the extensions, you just have to.

Speaker 2:
[30:41] It's literally just, I feel like there's like clam shells coming out of this head sometimes. I'm like, what is happening?

Speaker 1:
[30:46] Have you lost any K tips today?

Speaker 2:
[30:47] Two, I've only lost two in the entirety of the new bundle. I've gotten new hair since I saw you last.

Speaker 1:
[30:51] Oh my God, okay. Congratulations. And mine has come out.

Speaker 2:
[30:54] Yeah, I like it. You don't need it.

Speaker 1:
[30:56] I really do.

Speaker 2:
[30:57] I don't think so.

Speaker 1:
[30:58] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[30:58] I think you should leave it.

Speaker 1:
[30:59] I'm gonna try. I need to give my scalp a break.

Speaker 2:
[31:02] Yeah, my, I have like, your flyaway, that's my whole head of hair. So I have to leave them in.

Speaker 1:
[31:06] Okay. Well, that's good to know. Track suits. No.

Speaker 2:
[31:11] No.

Speaker 1:
[31:12] Potluck.

Speaker 2:
[31:14] What is that? That's when you bring stuff to the luck.

Speaker 1:
[31:17] I have a lot of feelings about a potluck situation.

Speaker 2:
[31:19] Everyone brings a dish to something, right?

Speaker 1:
[31:21] So you're having a dinner party at your house. Not even a dinner. You're having a dinner. You're having a party.

Speaker 2:
[31:25] And everyone brings a dish.

Speaker 1:
[31:26] And you assign things to different people. I agree.

Speaker 2:
[31:31] No, then don't, then you host it or what are we, or that's like a park. That's a park thing.

Speaker 1:
[31:34] And even then.

Speaker 2:
[31:35] Even then, like that's very like 90s to come.

Speaker 1:
[31:37] If you put together an event, you do it. Or otherwise just maybe we don't need, you know, an heirloom burrata side salad. Like maybe you just do pizza and some fucking beer. You know what I mean? Like keep it, keep it minimal or don't, I'm not a potluck princess. I find it to be insane.

Speaker 2:
[31:54] Insane. And also like the different like dishes it comes in and just sort of like-

Speaker 1:
[31:58] The non-cohesive energy of a potluck.

Speaker 2:
[32:00] No, I feel like we do a potluck for my kids like Thanksgiving Day at school.

Speaker 1:
[32:04] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[32:05] And that's the only time that that's acceptable. And everyone's like digging into the different dish.

Speaker 1:
[32:10] It is very simple. Keep it minimal, okay? Quality over quantity. Make a pasta, make a salad and serve wine. And we don't need, you don't need, hey, Tina, you bring the focaccia bread. Katie, you're bringing dessert. Absolutely not. That's not a host.

Speaker 2:
[32:25] Also, or you just don't have the party.

Speaker 1:
[32:27] Just, exactly. Just bow out.

Speaker 2:
[32:29] Just don't have a party.

Speaker 1:
[32:30] There's nothing worse than a stressed host. You go to someone's house.

Speaker 2:
[32:32] Awful, or they're not ready.

Speaker 1:
[32:34] Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[32:35] You've had like weeks.

Speaker 1:
[32:36] Like get it together.

Speaker 2:
[32:37] Get it together. Like I don't even care. Like I'd be ready if my dad died on that morning. I'd be like, we still have a party at five. We have to get everyone there.

Speaker 1:
[32:42] Hello, I have a funeral jumpsuit ready to fucking go. I'm ready. Anytime you open any social media platform, you're being hawked haircare, this and skincare, that Instagram is starting to feel like a sad version of QVC, okay? That is why I'm all about quality over quantity when it comes to products I use and when it comes to body care, I trust Osea. Osea's anti-aging body balm is a liquid silk body balm that combines the lasting hydration of a lotion with the firming power of a serum, leaving skin smoother, firmer and beautifully supple, okay? I love this brand. The Body Oil, don't get me started. If you have not tried it, I don't even know what you're doing. It elevates your nighttime routine. I take a gorgeous bath and then I lather up in all of my Osea products, and it's seaweed-powered clinically tested formulas. They're designed to deliver visible results, heavy emphasis on clinically tested. Okay, this stuff is backed by research. You're going to be hydrated, glowing, smoother. Okay, I have such dry skin, and this is the only body care products that I have been using and I love them so, so much. Get a spring-worthy glow with clean, clinically-tested skin care from Osea. Right now, we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order site-wide with CodeJackie at oseamalibu.com. When I was pregnant with Clyde, my standards for everything changed. I was making sure that all the produce I was getting was organic. Okay, I became aware of microplastics, radiation, forever chemicals, and I was definitely more conscious of the nutrients I was getting. That is why I chose Ritual to support me through growing my demon seed with their clinically backed essential prenatal multivitamin. I knew I was getting clean traceable ingredients like choline, folate, and omega-3. I also use their protein powder, the entirety of my pregnancy every single morning. I made the same shake with the Ritual protein powder. I take my prenatal. It's so easy on the stomach. If you're suffering from morning sickness, Ritual vitamins are a delayed-release capsule, so you can take them first thing in the morning and not worry about them ruining your day. It's made with methylated folate, so your body better absorbs the nutrients you need. Do not settle for less than evidence-based support. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com/bible. Start Ritual or add the essential prenatal to your subscription today. That is ritual.com/bible for 25% off. Uh, where were we? By the way, by the way. Balenciaga. No, right?

Speaker 2:
[35:21] Yes and no. There's a pair of Balenciaga shoes I'll show you off cam air that I would die to have.

Speaker 1:
[35:29] Really?

Speaker 2:
[35:29] And I can't, they're old and I need to find somebody to source them. So I'm going to manifest that because I really, really want them.

Speaker 1:
[35:34] Do you have a sorcerer? I need someone.

Speaker 2:
[35:36] Yeah, I will get, I will.

Speaker 1:
[35:37] There is a pink jacket that haunts my dreams, a Bottega pink jacket that is sold out everywhere at the Maroon Collar that I didn't buy. And I regret it every single day of my life.

Speaker 2:
[35:48] Okay, I'm going, okay.

Speaker 1:
[35:49] And I don't want to buy it on like a resale thing. No, it's been a couple of years.

Speaker 2:
[35:54] No, we can get that.

Speaker 1:
[35:55] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[35:55] We can get that sorted.

Speaker 1:
[35:56] We're going to float that. Mocinite.

Speaker 2:
[36:00] What is mocinite? Should I know that?

Speaker 1:
[36:02] Okay, do you know who Sheena Shay is from Vanderpump?

Speaker 2:
[36:04] Of course. She was in my school tour like a few weeks ago. I think she went to that school. I'm not.

Speaker 1:
[36:07] Okay, well clock her ring because it's mocinite. How do you feel about lab diamonds?

Speaker 2:
[36:11] Everyone asks me that. I don't have it. I don't know enough about it. They're fine. I don't want one.

Speaker 1:
[36:17] I don't want one either.

Speaker 2:
[36:18] But then also would I want to know? I would, I'd rather.

Speaker 1:
[36:23] Write this down. It's going to be important. I can feel it. Look at my arm.

Speaker 2:
[36:27] I'd rather have a small, beautiful diamond. I'm talking small, teensy, than an overgrown lab manufactured diamond that's eight carats or 10 carats.

Speaker 1:
[36:38] Go vintage, go miners cut.

Speaker 2:
[36:40] Or just do a band. I don't like, I don't want something not real to create an illusion that I.

Speaker 1:
[36:46] That's my problem with it.

Speaker 2:
[36:48] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[36:48] Like if you're walking around with an eight carat lab diamond, like it's fine. Everyone's like, it's the future.

Speaker 2:
[36:55] Is it? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. And it just feels a little like, what do you need to prove? I actually know a girl that had a really huge diamond and I was so unaware of lab diamonds that then after I was like, oh, right. That's a fucking lab diamond. It was beautiful, but I rather have something real, smaller than big and fake. I agree.

Speaker 1:
[37:13] I agree. And now you've heard it. How do you feel about Bougainvillea?

Speaker 2:
[37:16] Chic.

Speaker 1:
[37:17] Me too. Tuscan. Santa Barbara.

Speaker 2:
[37:21] Over a hill, a trellis. It's very trellis.

Speaker 1:
[37:25] I love a trellis.

Speaker 2:
[37:25] Right? Like a Bel Air 1997, like Bougainvillea. And I used to have some over the hillside of my house when I grew up.

Speaker 1:
[37:32] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:32] Oh, that was touching. Also, by the way, what made you think of Bougainvillea?

Speaker 1:
[37:37] I don't know. Not sure. It's getting weirder. So just buckle up, Buttercup. Bangs. No. Like you, it is so rare that you are a person that can pull off bangs.

Speaker 2:
[37:53] Who? Literally no one. I hate bangs.

Speaker 1:
[37:56] God, I've got a friend that looks really good in bangs.

Speaker 2:
[37:58] Fine. There's that friend. And that's her personality.

Speaker 1:
[38:01] She's a bang kind of girl. She feels bangy.

Speaker 2:
[38:03] What does she do?

Speaker 1:
[38:04] She's like a music industry professional. She rides horses and she's sickeningly gorgeous. She looks like a French movie star.

Speaker 2:
[38:12] Yeah, that's okay. Fine. If you're like fucking Jane Birkin, bangs work.

Speaker 1:
[38:15] You can have bangs, but I think it speaks to a bigger issue. Women who think that they can consistently pull off bangs, it feels self-important.

Speaker 2:
[38:24] It almost feels like bangs need to be natural within your aesthetic. You almost need to be born with a bang. Do you know what I mean? It almost needs to feel like it grew out of your head that way. If you are having to maintain and manage them without it being like a wispy cut into, if you can't cut your bangs yourself, you shouldn't have bangs. Whoa, chills, right?

Speaker 1:
[38:44] Chills. You know what I say about women with really blunt bangs?

Speaker 2:
[38:47] What?

Speaker 1:
[38:47] They love anal.

Speaker 2:
[38:48] They do love anal.

Speaker 1:
[38:49] They're called butt fucker bangs.

Speaker 2:
[38:50] Butt.

Speaker 1:
[38:54] It's just like one really specific person that I know that definitely loves it up the ass and she has the bluntest bang you've ever seen.

Speaker 2:
[39:00] I don't know a lot of people who love it up the ass, am I?

Speaker 1:
[39:02] Nobody does.

Speaker 2:
[39:03] Nobody does, right.

Speaker 1:
[39:04] People lie about it because they think it's sexy and dirty and like.

Speaker 2:
[39:07] Yeah, but no, thank you.

Speaker 1:
[39:08] I'm really good on that.

Speaker 2:
[39:09] Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1:
[39:11] I'm not looking to explore anything ever really.

Speaker 3:
[39:14] No, I agree, I agree.

Speaker 1:
[39:17] Just stick with what I know, you know what I'm saying? I'm someone that was putting a tampon in, like accidentally in the wrong hole till I was 16.

Speaker 2:
[39:22] Yeah, got it.

Speaker 1:
[39:23] I didn't know there were three till I was 23. I was taking out my tampon to pee. I'm not joking till I was 23 years old. Had no idea. Okay. Personalized license plates.

Speaker 2:
[39:37] The bonds are so toxic. We'll talk about that after.

Speaker 1:
[39:38] Oh yeah, but I'm not doing organic. No, I'm not doing that. I went and I bought the ones from Air One. They fell out of me. I'm doing like ultras, like CVS. I have to door dash them because they don't even carry the ones that I like at the grocery stores that I go to. Got it, got it. I cannot find these at a Bristol. You cannot find these at a Gelson's.

Speaker 2:
[40:04] This is like dirty CVS like on Moorpark.

Speaker 1:
[40:06] Krusty carpet tampons. I'm not going organic.

Speaker 2:
[40:09] Got it.

Speaker 1:
[40:10] I don't care about the lead really.

Speaker 2:
[40:12] No, okay.

Speaker 1:
[40:12] Fair. I'm fine with it.

Speaker 2:
[40:14] Fair.

Speaker 1:
[40:15] Personalized license plates.

Speaker 2:
[40:21] These are so specific.

Speaker 1:
[40:23] This is my brain. I know.

Speaker 2:
[40:24] This goes back to like when we're 16. I think if you're 16, it's cute.

Speaker 1:
[40:28] Oh really?

Speaker 2:
[40:29] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[40:29] But if you're like 48, no. Like come on.

Speaker 2:
[40:32] Come on.

Speaker 1:
[40:33] Do you know how much effort you had to go to the DMV? You had to like think about what you want to say to the world.

Speaker 2:
[40:37] But most people are not interesting and they have to do things like that.

Speaker 1:
[40:40] It's so true. You know? Yeah. To give them like a little razzle dazzle.

Speaker 2:
[40:43] I'm like a zhuzh. Like I'm zhuzh. Like I had this thing, this cork, this thing about me.

Speaker 1:
[40:47] Nobody with a great personality has a personalized license plate. Like you don't need the extra frills. When you're popping off the pages of life.

Speaker 2:
[40:53] Of life, right?

Speaker 1:
[40:55] You don't need a bedazzled situation.

Speaker 2:
[40:57] When you're door dashing, your tampons from like various strange, that's where you live.

Speaker 1:
[41:03] That's right. That's right. How do you feel about pashminas? I will wrap this up. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:
[41:08] By the way, don't ever. I had a pashmina that I loved so much in like the early 2000s.

Speaker 1:
[41:12] Yeah, when you were going to bought misfas.

Speaker 2:
[41:14] Literally. I like a pashmina. I will, when I find a good one that's not like too patterned, I will wear one.

Speaker 1:
[41:20] Like a cashmere pashmina?

Speaker 3:
[41:21] Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2:
[41:23] Like gorgeous, like a beige that you wear over a black jacket.

Speaker 1:
[41:25] Let's bring back the pashmina.

Speaker 2:
[41:27] Yes, we need to.

Speaker 1:
[41:28] Pashmina culture is so fun.

Speaker 2:
[41:30] I actually made one for Wrangley. The color was like a beauty. It just, the color was maybe a touch too brick.

Speaker 1:
[41:38] Oh, brick.

Speaker 2:
[41:39] It was a little bricky.

Speaker 1:
[41:40] Bricky.

Speaker 2:
[41:40] But it was gorgeous. Where is that? Do we know where that is? We should find that.

Speaker 1:
[41:44] Oh, a bricky pashmina. Sign my ass up. I was gonna ask you how you feel about chrome nails.

Speaker 2:
[41:49] I like yours.

Speaker 1:
[41:50] Okay, I get a pass. Skorts.

Speaker 2:
[41:54] Oh, man.

Speaker 1:
[41:56] I have a theory about skorts. I like things to present as they are most of the time. I don't like a skirt from the front and a short in the back.

Speaker 2:
[42:04] But you don't mind if it's a skort with like a skirt all the way around? Like if it's shorts built into a skirt?

Speaker 1:
[42:08] If it's hidden shorts?

Speaker 2:
[42:09] You're okay.

Speaker 1:
[42:10] I'm okay.

Speaker 2:
[42:11] I'm okay, too.

Speaker 1:
[42:11] Maybe she's having a frisky night.

Speaker 2:
[42:13] Yes, I agree.

Speaker 1:
[42:14] Maybe she's not a lady.

Speaker 2:
[42:15] I agree. I agree.

Speaker 1:
[42:18] And she wants the illusion of a skirt, but she's a little wayward with her femurs.

Speaker 2:
[42:22] No, I get that. I understand that. I think what you said is really accurate, like the short in the back.

Speaker 1:
[42:28] Not really flattering.

Speaker 2:
[42:29] And also commit.

Speaker 1:
[42:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[42:32] It's weird.

Speaker 1:
[42:33] It's weird.

Speaker 2:
[42:33] Can you not get a job? Something feels weird. A miss.

Speaker 1:
[42:37] I totally agree with you. What about French tip nails?

Speaker 2:
[42:40] No, I don't know why those, I don't know why.

Speaker 3:
[42:44] It's not, I don't get it.

Speaker 2:
[42:45] It's not chic.

Speaker 3:
[42:46] It doesn't look good.

Speaker 1:
[42:46] Even a thin one is weird.

Speaker 3:
[42:48] All of it.

Speaker 2:
[42:48] It's all bad.

Speaker 1:
[42:49] A thick one is always bad. Always.

Speaker 2:
[42:51] And it's like, it really, it's like lately I see some of the girls in it. I hate them.

Speaker 1:
[42:56] I know. It's not, it doesn't feel like elegant or passive. It feels aggressive to me. I agree. I saw a woman, she was getting a French tip on the toe.

Speaker 2:
[43:05] No, the toe is, you have a toe ring first of all.

Speaker 1:
[43:07] And I thought, we can't trust her.

Speaker 2:
[43:09] No, we can't trust her.

Speaker 1:
[43:09] Like this is a crazy person next to me. This is someone who is misguided, looking for something to feel.

Speaker 2:
[43:15] 100%. Wow.

Speaker 1:
[43:17] Okay. Louis Vuitton Neverfull.

Speaker 2:
[43:20] What is that?

Speaker 1:
[43:21] You know what I always say? You're never really full if you're carrying a Neverfull.

Speaker 2:
[43:24] True. But is this the-

Speaker 1:
[43:26] The big tote bag. The logo tote bag.

Speaker 2:
[43:29] It's a no for me.

Speaker 1:
[43:31] It's a fucking no.

Speaker 2:
[43:32] I love that you know that name. I would have just been like Louis Vuitton.

Speaker 1:
[43:34] I talk about it all the time. Yeah, it's a big one. Lake Arrowhead.

Speaker 2:
[43:42] Is there intermission? This is- I wasn't even prepared. I wasn't even prepared.

Speaker 3:
[43:49] So the last-

Speaker 2:
[43:50] so Lake Arrowhead is so niche, is so specific, is so what the fuck, what were we doing going there as a family in the Green Range Rover, okay?

Speaker 3:
[44:01] What were we doing? So the last time- I've never been, to be fair.

Speaker 1:
[44:04] It's just something I think about a lot.

Speaker 2:
[44:05] Let me tell you, my best childhood friend, also named Morgan, had a cabin in Lake Arrowhead, but also was like best friends with Priscilla Presley's son. I remember being there with Navarone when we were kids. I mean, this is so weird. The last time I was there, I was jumping on the bed with these kids, and I split open my entire eye. Do you see that scar right there?

Speaker 1:
[44:28] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[44:28] Okay, opened this color, blood gushing down the face.

Speaker 1:
[44:34] So Lake Arrowhead is dangerous, is what you're saying.

Speaker 2:
[44:36] Then we had to go to the hospital. I vividly remember being like seven years old, had to be placed under a blue blanket. I was not fully knocked out, and they were trying to stitch my eyebrow back together.

Speaker 1:
[44:48] So this is a trigger.

Speaker 2:
[44:49] This is a trigger, and the fact that I even have that memory means I shouldn't have been under that blanket. I should have been knocked the fuck out.

Speaker 1:
[44:55] For sure.

Speaker 2:
[44:55] Before we were attempting to stitch my eyebrow back together. So Lake Arrowhead is trash.

Speaker 1:
[45:00] Okay, great. Never been, just was floating it. Just thought we would explore that. Wow, okay, that's it.

Speaker 3:
[45:07] By the way, that is so, I'm gonna do my own rapid fire.

Speaker 2:
[45:11] I have everyone else doing my rapid fire, and they're fucking so, I'm like hot coffee and cold coffee. Like the dumbest bullshit, like inside out side.

Speaker 1:
[45:18] Hit it with the Lake Arrowhead.

Speaker 2:
[45:19] No, I'm gonna literally just be like organic tampons, go.

Speaker 1:
[45:22] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[45:23] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[45:23] Like let's get niche with it.

Speaker 2:
[45:24] Let's get niche with it. Lake Arrowhead is so.

Speaker 1:
[45:27] By the way, what was I on last night that I'm thinking of all of these things? In the bath watching Summer House, like a full blown fucking loser.

Speaker 2:
[45:33] What season?

Speaker 1:
[45:34] Okay, so I just started. It's been a slow burn for me.

Speaker 2:
[45:37] Oh my God, it was unwatchable at first. I couldn't, I started season eight. I'm on episode two of season eight and I like still can't get into it really.

Speaker 1:
[45:43] Okay, I started season three. I'm on like end of season four. It's.

Speaker 2:
[45:46] Oh, you're going way at the beginning.

Speaker 1:
[45:48] I went way back and I'm regretting it. Like I'm not intrigued in the way that I feel like I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 2:
[45:55] Paige is a cutie. So I'm on her last season, I believe.

Speaker 1:
[46:00] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[46:00] Cause we're, but like I'm, I'm on the season that West joins.

Speaker 1:
[46:04] Okay, okay.

Speaker 2:
[46:05] And my care level for West.

Speaker 1:
[46:08] Is a zero.

Speaker 2:
[46:09] I can't even find it.

Speaker 1:
[46:10] I'm not, I'm not like really clicked in on any of them.

Speaker 2:
[46:14] I'm not, I'm not, I really, and by the way, I thought Summer House was Southern, let me walk you through this. I thought Summer House was Southern Charm cast that went to another house in the summer.

Speaker 1:
[46:27] Okay, way off, way off there. Southern Charm early seasons, by the way, is so underrated. Thomas Ravenel with Catherine, all of that shit. Like we just, we just allowed that to happen. We just co-signed on that.

Speaker 2:
[46:39] That was, that is what I thought. So then I didn't realize that Paige met Craig through, I don't even know what I thought, but I am so immersed in the pop culture, yet know nothing.

Speaker 1:
[46:50] I am the same exact way. My finger is so off the pulse. I'm like, I don't know who any of these bitches are, but I like tap in here and there, and I make a lot of blind assumptions. There are many things I'm great at, okay? Hosting dinner parties, interior design, being an international pop star. The list goes on and on, but one thing I'm not known for is, you know, budgeting, boring. Every night I lay in bed with my fingers twitching, just aching to buy another pair of designer sunglasses or obscure marble side tables. 90% of the time my fingers win, my bank account loses, and I tell myself, I'll be more responsible next month. But with this backyard reno underway, I knew I had to get serious about tightening up the old budge, okay? That's where Rocket Money comes in. My favorite Rocket Money feature is their automatic transaction categorization across accounts. Plus, they have customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns. It's like having your own little frugal francesca in your pocket, okay? That just helps you watch your funds. You don't even realize how much money you're spending on eating out, clothes, okay? They had to make a custom category for antiquing for me, which was a bit of a wake up call. But we got to get it together, girlies. It's not cute. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/bible. That is rocketmoney.com/bible, rocketmoney.com/bible. Hey sweetie, your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm going to give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable.

Speaker 2:
[48:38] Okay. I accepted the offer.

Speaker 3:
[48:39] They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done.

Speaker 1:
[48:44] The car is gone.

Speaker 3:
[48:45] I'm holding a check. Anyway, Carvana.

Speaker 1:
[48:47] Give it a whirl.

Speaker 3:
[48:48] Love ya.

Speaker 1:
[48:49] So good.

Speaker 2:
[48:50] You'll want to leave a voicemail about it.

Speaker 1:
[48:52] Sell your car today on Carvana.

Speaker 4:
[48:55] Pick up fees may apply.

Speaker 2:
[48:56] What about Ladies of London? Are you watching?

Speaker 1:
[48:58] Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
[48:59] Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:
[49:00] I'm back, the woman with the bird. I can't.

Speaker 2:
[49:02] I've never seen an episode. Do I need to watch?

Speaker 1:
[49:04] Yeah, you have to watch it.

Speaker 2:
[49:05] It's amazing.

Speaker 1:
[49:06] It's pretty fucking great. I think you'll love it. Like it's insane.

Speaker 2:
[49:08] Okay. Jordan's in a golf tournament.

Speaker 1:
[49:10] Oh.

Speaker 2:
[49:11] Yeah. Can you believe it? And he's like coming home right at the time I get into bed. Like I can't even get into my shows.

Speaker 1:
[49:17] Oh, that's so annoying.

Speaker 2:
[49:18] So I'm like, just go out of town so I can fucking watch the goddamn shows I want.

Speaker 1:
[49:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Andrew's been gone basically all month.

Speaker 2:
[49:23] I know. Isn't it kind of the best?

Speaker 1:
[49:25] It's kind of nice, but like I like, I don't love being such a hands-on mother.

Speaker 2:
[49:30] No, of course. I totally understand. And then when he comes back, you're like, you, this is not how we do.

Speaker 1:
[49:33] I'm like, I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 2:
[49:35] Anything.

Speaker 1:
[49:35] Also like- I'm like dumping my plates over on the table and I'm like, figure it out, bitch. I'm done.

Speaker 2:
[49:40] No, literally. But also you're like, but now I'm alone. I'm so used to my rhythm and now you are back. Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[49:44] And then he's asking questions about the shows and I'm like, can we not? Can you please leave me alone?

Speaker 2:
[49:49] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[49:50] Like stop talking.

Speaker 2:
[49:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[49:51] Quiet hours are till 8 45 PM. 7 45 to 8 45. We have quiet hours.

Speaker 2:
[49:56] Quiet hours. I'm literally chat GBTing like how old my face is going to look in two years. I am literally just like what, how is my face going to fall? Is it time for PRF? Like that's all I do.

Speaker 1:
[50:07] You've never looked better.

Speaker 2:
[50:09] Because I was hideous and we were delusional about it.

Speaker 1:
[50:11] No, you were not.

Speaker 3:
[50:12] No, no.

Speaker 1:
[50:13] No, you were not.

Speaker 3:
[50:14] You know what?

Speaker 2:
[50:15] It's like subtle tweakies that have worked for me. But I definitely am in a place where I just want to look like. Like I am like so rested.

Speaker 1:
[50:25] You look very fresh to me.

Speaker 2:
[50:26] Well, this took in, how long did my glam take?

Speaker 1:
[50:28] One hour?

Speaker 2:
[50:29] Okay, it was 45 minutes.

Speaker 3:
[50:30] Okay, one hour is not even that big of a deal. No, not even.

Speaker 2:
[50:32] And I literally like covered up the acne. You know, acne is very in. That's another thing I want to talk about. Are we done? Are we out of time?

Speaker 1:
[50:37] No, no, no. What do you mean? Acne is in now?

Speaker 2:
[50:39] Our generation, you were shot and killed.

Speaker 1:
[50:41] Right, yeah, you were like the proactive commercial, like nobody's finger banging you at the mall. You're disgusting, you're a dog, die. Yeah, that's really how it was.

Speaker 3:
[50:51] The finger banging at the mall.

Speaker 1:
[50:53] Did you ever get finger banged at the mall?

Speaker 2:
[50:55] Oh my, we went to the vents at Century City. Do you know what that is when it was like the scary dark, it was an office building, like parking lot. Sure. It was like, you went to the vents, you were pretty, took a long time to get there. But now the kids are like, we're celebrating acne. Now it's a pimple patch in person. Full cystic acne on the face and you are the cool, if you don't have acne, you're basically nothing.

Speaker 1:
[51:12] Whoa.

Speaker 2:
[51:13] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[51:14] Okay, that's good to know.

Speaker 2:
[51:15] That is good to know. So now like if I have the occasional break, but I don't even have enough acne for it to work.

Speaker 1:
[51:19] But like acne means like you're young, you're cool, like you're fresh, like you forgot to take your makeup off.

Speaker 2:
[51:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[51:24] Which is so fun.

Speaker 2:
[51:25] Yeah, yeah. It's really a good vibe.

Speaker 1:
[51:27] And it is refreshing. I mean, compared to the like 40 step skincare routine with all these bitches hitting you with all the filters and telling you that you need to buy these 57 products. Also like the 11 year olds doing that, I'm like, I'm not taking advice from you.

Speaker 2:
[51:38] Where's your mom though?

Speaker 1:
[51:39] You haven't gotten your fucking period. You think I'm going to take, yeah. Your skin looks fine.

Speaker 2:
[51:43] Speaking of, have you, are you watching the new Gilead, what is that show, the Handmaid's Tale prequel? Have you gotten there?

Speaker 1:
[51:49] No.

Speaker 2:
[51:49] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[51:50] I don't watch anything that's cerebrally stimulating. I want to drool. You know what I mean? Like I'm not trying to think about anything.

Speaker 2:
[51:57] Ladies of London. Who's going to be my favorite on Ladies of London?

Speaker 1:
[52:00] I think you'll like Martha and Kimmy.

Speaker 2:
[52:04] There's a Kimmy.

Speaker 1:
[52:05] Kimmy with an I.

Speaker 2:
[52:05] Is Kimmy blonde?

Speaker 1:
[52:07] No.

Speaker 2:
[52:07] Dark.

Speaker 1:
[52:08] Dark hair.

Speaker 2:
[52:09] Dark hair.

Speaker 1:
[52:09] She's fantastic.

Speaker 2:
[52:10] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[52:11] We don't know where she's from. She has like a very weird kind of hybrid accent and is like super cunty and I love her.

Speaker 2:
[52:17] Okay. I can't. I'm going to start today.

Speaker 1:
[52:19] I would take a bullet for her.

Speaker 2:
[52:20] Okay. Good. And I have a whole afternoon free of nothing.

Speaker 1:
[52:23] And in this glam, hello.

Speaker 2:
[52:24] I know, which is such a waste of time. I don't even have a person to have lunch with. It's like mortifying.

Speaker 1:
[52:28] What trends do you think that you've started, Morgan?

Speaker 2:
[52:31] Oh my God. I definitely started the Phoebe Philo sunglasses, the big motorcycle ones. Do I have them?

Speaker 1:
[52:36] Yes, you 100% did. You were the first person that wore them.

Speaker 2:
[52:39] I did also start the Le Hueve, not the cat eye, but the accentuated, I started those. I definitely started the leopard trend with the Valentino jacket with the cuffs. No one had that jacket.

Speaker 1:
[52:52] By the way, my favorite thing, I feel like I've texted you about this, my favorite thing in the world that you do, first of all, everyone loves you because you keep it so one-hundo, and you don't insult consumerism or your audience by placating us like a link that's like a look for less.

Speaker 3:
[53:06] No, no, no.

Speaker 2:
[53:07] I do it sometimes and then it's like, I literally sold like, I posted like a cheap jacket like a few weeks ago in the brand reach out and they're like, I sold like $15,000 for them in an hour. They were like, we want to gift you one.

Speaker 1:
[53:15] You're like, I'm not wearing it.

Speaker 2:
[53:16] And also one, give me like 12.

Speaker 3:
[53:19] Right, totally. They're $100.

Speaker 1:
[53:20] Totally.

Speaker 2:
[53:21] Thank you.

Speaker 1:
[53:21] My favorite thing in the world is when you'll hit us with a link to like a $12,000 jacket. And I'm like, Morgan, nobody's fucking buying this. Cause if they don't know, if we can just be real for a second. Let's do it. If they don't know who makes that jacket.

Speaker 2:
[53:35] They're not buying it.

Speaker 1:
[53:36] Off like the naked eye, they're not going to buy it. They're not going to be like, Oh, I love that Bottega coat.

Speaker 2:
[53:42] I'm going to, like, Oh, who makes it?

Speaker 1:
[53:45] Oh, I'm going to click this link.

Speaker 3:
[53:46] I'm going to buy it.

Speaker 1:
[53:47] That's never happening.

Speaker 3:
[53:48] It's so true.

Speaker 2:
[53:49] But then I get so much hate because people are like, we want to know exactly what you're wearing. So I'll do it. I'll do it seldomly. Like I'll trickle it in once in a while.

Speaker 1:
[53:55] It's perfect because you're operating your vessel and your ship as yourself. You're not, you're not placating us. You're not living a lie. You're not pretending. You're keeping it one hundo and that's why everyone celebrates you.

Speaker 2:
[54:09] Thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1:
[54:10] Because in theory, everyone should want to rip your fucking head off. Because you're so rich, thin, gorgeous and funny.

Speaker 2:
[54:16] But I'm not relevant to the piece. If I got really famous, you know it'd be two weeks and they'd take me down.

Speaker 1:
[54:21] By the way, you have to stay in the sweet spot.

Speaker 2:
[54:24] But I'm like, this is the sweet spot and then I'm right here. Do you get invited to anything?

Speaker 1:
[54:28] Sometimes.

Speaker 2:
[54:28] I get invited to nothing.

Speaker 1:
[54:30] No, but it's always by proxy of like somebody else. You know what I mean? It's not really me. It's by proxy.

Speaker 2:
[54:37] Okay, okay.

Speaker 1:
[54:38] Or like someone will feel bad for me. I've been invited to one fashion show because my famous friend got me a ticket.

Speaker 2:
[54:45] What about, oh, was that the Pink Eye Gate?

Speaker 1:
[54:48] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[54:48] Oh, that was so good.

Speaker 1:
[54:49] Yeah. By the way, when I almost gave Emma Stone Pink Eye two days before her Oscar win, yeah, that was a good time. After she make a wish foundation me to Paris and got me a seat at the Louis Vuitton anniversary show, and then I was blinking on her with my secretions.

Speaker 2:
[55:04] I shit. Talk about somebody who looks great.

Speaker 1:
[55:07] Oh my God, so good.

Speaker 3:
[55:08] No, no.

Speaker 2:
[55:08] I don't even want to go into it. It just needs to live there.

Speaker 1:
[55:11] No, she looks so good, it's actually annoying.

Speaker 3:
[55:13] I know.

Speaker 2:
[55:14] That's gonna be me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will it?

Speaker 1:
[55:17] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[55:17] Okay. Yes. I'm hot today. I'm getting like hot flashes right now.

Speaker 1:
[55:21] Who's the worst dressed celebrity? And then I'll let you go.

Speaker 2:
[55:23] No, I don't want to leave him here. Okay. Why is she trying to kick me off? That's crazy. It's only been like a whole hour.

Speaker 1:
[55:31] I think Heidi Klum is an abomination.

Speaker 2:
[55:33] Thank you for leading us there. Heidi Klum, I have such mixed feelings. First of all, clothes, no, not good.

Speaker 1:
[55:39] No, terrible.

Speaker 2:
[55:40] But she is not tired. She is.

Speaker 1:
[55:42] No, she looks beautiful. Her face is gorgeous.

Speaker 2:
[55:44] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Meaning she is at every single thing that ever existed.

Speaker 1:
[55:50] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[55:50] Every event.

Speaker 1:
[55:50] Those Halloween parties.

Speaker 2:
[55:51] The Halloween parties.

Speaker 1:
[55:52] Dressed as a worm.

Speaker 2:
[55:53] The premieres.

Speaker 1:
[55:54] Like my chin filler.

Speaker 2:
[55:57] No, but she is at everything. She is in Cannes. She is in Monaco. She is at every film festival. She is at every TV. I mean, the woman is never home.

Speaker 1:
[56:07] Never home.

Speaker 2:
[56:08] I would not be able to do that.

Speaker 1:
[56:09] No, there is something deeply, I mean, love her like a sister, something uncool about it.

Speaker 2:
[56:13] I know.

Speaker 1:
[56:14] Right?

Speaker 2:
[56:15] Love her like a sister.

Speaker 1:
[56:16] Love her.

Speaker 2:
[56:17] Like adore her. I think I said that one time to my brother-in-law and I'm like, God, she's fucking everywhere. He's like, yeah, she's living her life, so what? I was like, oh, he hates me. I was like, he doesn't think that was cool. Like he, I was like, oh, he fucking hates me. But anyway, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[56:31] But it is true.

Speaker 2:
[56:32] No, I'm happy we got, this was a safe space to talk about Heidi Klum.

Speaker 1:
[56:35] Very much so.

Speaker 2:
[56:36] Terrible, terribly dressed. Who else is there?

Speaker 1:
[56:38] I mean, Camila Cabello for me is- She is- Carrie Underwood.

Speaker 2:
[56:42] Carrie, yeah, but they're not even on my mind.

Speaker 1:
[56:45] Right, totally, because it's like, there's no expectation.

Speaker 2:
[56:48] Yeah, like, who's like, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[56:50] I'm trying to think of like someone like young and like, that's just missing the mark all the time.

Speaker 2:
[56:58] Yeah, no, I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[56:59] Okay, if it comes up.

Speaker 2:
[57:02] I'll come back.

Speaker 1:
[57:02] Think about it. What are some things that you irrationally hate?

Speaker 2:
[57:06] Fruits on stickers, we've talked about that.

Speaker 1:
[57:08] You mean stickers on fruits.

Speaker 2:
[57:10] Yeah, did I say fruits on stickers?

Speaker 1:
[57:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[57:11] Either way.

Speaker 1:
[57:11] Either way, I love that.

Speaker 2:
[57:13] Whatever's bonded to the thing.

Speaker 1:
[57:15] So you know what, I get a lot of this because anytime I post something in my house, I have to admit something.

Speaker 2:
[57:21] Tell me.

Speaker 1:
[57:22] I don't take the stickers off until I consume them.

Speaker 2:
[57:24] No.

Speaker 1:
[57:25] And everyone, it is something that comes up all the time.

Speaker 2:
[57:28] They gotta go.

Speaker 1:
[57:29] And I never even thought about taking the stickers off.

Speaker 2:
[57:31] No, you have to. Okay. It feels like unfinished, like it doesn't feel like they should be in the home. It's like their outside blanket. Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1:
[57:40] Okay. Thank you.

Speaker 2:
[57:41] I hate that. I also hate when you crack an egg on a pan and it doesn't immediately turn into white yolk and it takes a second to cook and it gets like gelatinous. That makes me want to die.

Speaker 1:
[57:51] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[57:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[57:52] Okay. That is so painfully specific.

Speaker 2:
[57:54] That was the equivalent to your Lake Arrowhead question. Lake, when you just busted Lake Arrowhead, I had to recalibrate and be like, wait, are we still here?

Speaker 1:
[58:01] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[58:02] Like am I tripping on mushrooms? Which by the way.

Speaker 1:
[58:04] Never done it.

Speaker 2:
[58:05] Never, never. No, me.

Speaker 1:
[58:07] You? I want to. I have.

Speaker 2:
[58:09] Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:
[58:10] But I'm afraid because my best friend did it and she said every time she wanted to laugh, she'd start hysterically crying. So it was like a huge buzz kill and they all did it to be like, whoa, we're like fine and whatever. And she said every time something was funny, she'd start hysterically crying.

Speaker 2:
[58:24] No, it was like I couldn't stop laughing, but the next day, any sort of like chemical imbalance in my body really rocks me sideways. I am such a sensitive little baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I haven't done it in a while, but it was a really fun time. The chocolate ones.

Speaker 1:
[58:37] See, I have a friend, actually the last time I was at Coachella, I had a friend that really went hard on the mushrooms and I found him, we were all staying in a house the next morning, because I like rise with the sun. Everyone is like comatose.

Speaker 2:
[58:49] I know, yeah, I'm the same way.

Speaker 1:
[58:50] I get up at 6 a.m., he's still very, very much so on an extreme amount of mushrooms. And I found my friend performing the entirety of the Third Eye Blind album, the first one, like in his underwear, singing out into the golf course with a microphone, just being like, I wish you would step back from my ledge. And I'm just sitting there having like a matcha and I'm thinking, I'm never doing mushrooms.

Speaker 2:
[59:14] Never.

Speaker 1:
[59:15] Yeah. This is crazy. I think he was hospitalized.

Speaker 2:
[59:17] Too many mushrooms.

Speaker 1:
[59:18] Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a real serotonin dip. And I was like, is he gonna jump, jumper? It was crazy. I was like, I don't think I have the constitution for this.

Speaker 2:
[59:27] And now I think we've missed the mark. Maybe if we like do something, if we like take the show on the road, I don't know what I'm saying, but like, I feel like that's gonna happen.

Speaker 1:
[59:34] No, we definitely should.

Speaker 2:
[59:35] Cause I'm not a headliner. I'm not a solo headliner.

Speaker 1:
[59:37] I, I'm not either.

Speaker 2:
[59:39] Like I really need a buddy. I don't even know why I think I'm gonna do that.

Speaker 1:
[59:42] No, we've talked about this.

Speaker 3:
[59:43] I know, but it's so not me.

Speaker 1:
[59:45] No, it would be so funny. Like Morgan and Jackie hit the road, but we only go to desirable cities with nice hotels.

Speaker 3:
[59:51] By the way.

Speaker 1:
[59:52] We make no money.

Speaker 2:
[59:53] Wait, Morgan and Jackie hit the road is the title. And then it's like the, it's the this with the cowboy hat on the billboard. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[60:00] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[60:01] Okay, great.

Speaker 1:
[60:02] And we'll do like, it'll be a very limited run.

Speaker 2:
[60:05] Four cities. By the way, I don't even think four, I think it's two. I can't get up in front of a live audience. You know that. You can. If enough people are there and they love me, I will be able to.

Speaker 1:
[60:13] No, but that's, this is the thing. They will buy tickets to see you. So you don't have to worry about not being like, they're there to see you.

Speaker 2:
[60:22] I don't know if people would buy tickets to see me. That is so not pick me. Like you've had that reassurance. I don't know if people want to see me. They just want to buy my pants.

Speaker 1:
[60:30] No, they will.

Speaker 2:
[60:30] Okay. Great.

Speaker 1:
[60:31] We'll have a great time.

Speaker 2:
[60:32] We'll have a call with Chelsea.

Speaker 1:
[60:33] And we'll do mushrooms.

Speaker 2:
[60:34] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[60:35] Wouldn't that be fun?

Speaker 2:
[60:36] The last night with the audience.

Speaker 1:
[60:38] With the audience. Feels like a legality thing, but we'll blink an eye and we'll all be like, okay, let's have our gummies.

Speaker 2:
[60:44] Yes, exactly. And they're going to all be moms drinking Gatorade anyway after it's fine.

Speaker 1:
[60:48] Oh, Gatorade.

Speaker 2:
[60:49] I love Gatorade.

Speaker 1:
[60:50] That's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[60:50] Lemon, lime. Forget it.

Speaker 1:
[60:52] Honestly, I do too. I think about it all the time, but I haven't had one in 20 years. There's so many things I think about that I love. I would fuck up a Wetzel's Pretzel.

Speaker 2:
[61:00] You haven't had a Wetzel's Pretzel in 20 years?

Speaker 1:
[61:02] I had one actually not that long ago. Okay, there is a mall that has three of them.

Speaker 2:
[61:07] I haven't been to one. Jackie going to the mall.

Speaker 1:
[61:09] I was just at the mall. I love the mall. The Topanga Mall, I can't even get into it.

Speaker 2:
[61:12] You get shot at the mall.

Speaker 1:
[61:14] No, it's not for shopping. Who goes to the mall? It's not for shopping.

Speaker 2:
[61:16] Shot.

Speaker 1:
[61:17] No, it's for cardio. It's for recalibrating. It's a grounding experience.

Speaker 2:
[61:23] I love how independent and alone you can be. If I'm alone for too long, my finger starts to burn because I've scrolled so fast.

Speaker 1:
[61:29] No, you will see me wandering the Topanga Valley Mall like nobody's business. Just meandering, meandering.

Speaker 2:
[61:37] I can't.

Speaker 1:
[61:38] Roaming, not buying anything usually.

Speaker 2:
[61:40] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[61:40] But just kind of that's actually I completely just lied to you. But I just like to, I love it.

Speaker 2:
[61:45] Where are you going after this?

Speaker 1:
[61:47] I have to go home.

Speaker 2:
[61:48] Reno?

Speaker 1:
[61:49] I'm going to Reno. I'm going to Lake Arrowhead. I kept my son home from school today because one of the kids in his class had a stomach bug.

Speaker 3:
[61:58] No, we're not doing it.

Speaker 1:
[61:59] And I got the message yesterday and I said, I'm not putting my, I can't even, I can't even risk it.

Speaker 2:
[62:04] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:05] Even, and I'm that desperate. So my son is with my dad right now, which is very scary.

Speaker 2:
[62:09] Yeah, I understand. So we got to get, we got to.

Speaker 1:
[62:11] Very scary. My dad's like, what, what do I do if he like poops? And I'm like, dad, like you, you have to figure this out.

Speaker 2:
[62:18] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:19] So he's probably just going to leave it. Like he doesn't know how to change a diaper. Like it's a whole thing.

Speaker 2:
[62:22] It's going to be shit everywhere.

Speaker 1:
[62:23] Shit everywhere.

Speaker 3:
[62:24] Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 1:
[62:25] So anyways, Morgan has a podcast and you have to go listen to it because, no, no, no, I know.

Speaker 3:
[62:30] I love it.

Speaker 2:
[62:31] She loves it.

Speaker 1:
[62:33] It will be gone by next week, so please go listen. She's going to quit any day now, okay? You have to go listen because I don't endorse a lot of other podcasts because I generally think they're not that good, especially new ones, but Morgan has a gift, a talent, and you should be so fucking lucky.

Speaker 2:
[62:48] I love you.

Speaker 1:
[62:49] You should be so fucking lucky to experience her. Just candor and wit.

Speaker 2:
[62:53] Yes, thank you.

Speaker 1:
[62:54] That's the truth.

Speaker 2:
[62:54] I appreciate it.

Speaker 1:
[62:55] I mean every word of it.

Speaker 2:
[62:57] Morgan and Jackie take the road.

Speaker 1:
[62:58] I want to cheers you, but I don't have a, where's my goddamn, where's your goddamn Saratoga?

Speaker 3:
[63:03] Right here, I know.

Speaker 1:
[63:04] Okay, look alive. All right, I love you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[63:36] Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

Speaker 3:
[63:40] We're coming at you with everything we got.

Speaker 2:
[63:49] With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise, and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah!

Speaker 1:
[64:03] Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

Speaker 4:
[64:06] Hey, besties, it's Viola Benson. If you're tired of fake advice, filter conversation, people acting like they have their life together on social media, then come listen to Daddy Issues podcast. We talk about dating, heartbreak, friendship, healing, bad decisions, and all the messy parts of life that people usually keep hidden. It's bold, it's honest, it's unfiltered, and it's very real. If you want more, I also started Let's Talk, which is fun, unfiltered, ad-free, 20-minute Saturday episodes, where I talk about whatever random stuff we just watched on TV, whatever's on your mind. We just talk the shit, okay? So listen to Daddy Issues Podcast, and let's talk wherever you get your podcasts.