transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:02] Hey, everyone. This is Leon from Prologue Projects. On this subscriber-only episode of 5-4, Peter and Rhiannon are talking about birthright citizenship. On his very first day of his second term in office, President Trump signed an executive order to end birthright citizenship in the United States, contravening the Fourteenth Amendment and more than a century of jurisprudence.

Speaker 2:
[00:25] This next order relates to the definition of birthright citizenship under the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States.

Speaker 1:
[00:30] That's a good one. Birthright. That's a big one. The ACLU, along with several other groups and states, challenged the executive order almost immediately. And just a few weeks ago, on April 1st, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case. Because the hosts feel pretty good about the likely outcome here, they figured it was worth talking through the administration's arguments and how the justices responded. This is Five to Four, a podcast about how much the Supreme Court sucks, even if they do seem poised to get this one right.

Speaker 3:
[01:09] Welcome to 5-4, where we dissect and analyze the Supreme Court cases that have usurped our civil rights like Donald Trump is trying to usurp the papacy. I'm Peter, and I'm here with Rhiannon.

Speaker 4:
[01:19] Hey, everybody, the Pope, not tough on crime, bad on foreign policy.

Speaker 3:
[01:25] It's gonna stick in my head for so long. I was just telling you, in his first term, it's that image of him looking at the eclipse directly. Now, maybe this time, the Pope is not tough on crime.

Speaker 4:
[01:39] Right, the Pope is not tough on crime is a sentence for the ages.

Speaker 3:
[01:44] Yeah, I don't even have the words for it yet. Right, right.

Speaker 4:
[01:48] The Pope is not tough on crime. The Pope is bad on foreign policy. Not 48 hours later, posting a photo of himself as Jesus.

Speaker 3:
[01:55] As Christ.

Speaker 4:
[01:56] He links, and then, no, I thought it was a doctor in that. It's Looney Tunes. It's Looney Tunesville over there. Five stars on the comedy, though.

Speaker 3:
[02:04] It's so good. I'm ready for a 13,000-word piece about the Pope is not tough on crime. I can't wait. Michael, out this week, just the girls. Just the ladies hanging out on a five-to-four. Before we get going, Rhi, you have to regale everyone with your harrowing tale of bravery.

Speaker 4:
[02:30] Yeah, bravery involving reptiles, specifically snakes. This is a saga that I believe I'm 48 hours out of, and I feel my cortisol and adrenaline only just now regulating. So basically, I had a weekend, a Sunday and a Monday, chock full of venomous coral snakes at my house. So Sunday afternoon, my partner saw a snake in between the exterior siding of my house and the concrete underneath, in a two-inch space out of the corner of his eye sees bright red scales. He takes a photo, he comes inside, he shows me the picture, and I say, hold up a minute, I don't know if other public school kids learned this across the country, but I certainly did in public school in Texas. There's a handy rhyme. Red touches yellow, kills a fellow. Red touches black, you're okay, Jack. I look at this picture of this snake, and what colors do we have touching but red and yellow? I say, this is a fucking venomous snake outside my house. Here's where things get funny. Donald Trump comedy levels of government and administration in the city of Austin. I call animal control. I say, there's a venomous snake outside my house, please come. They say, we don't deal with wild animals. I said, you only deal with pets?

Speaker 3:
[03:51] Yeah, that's just like if your cat's being a bad boy. Right.

Speaker 4:
[03:55] I said, Petra is sitting on her ass right here. I don't need you for Petra.

Speaker 3:
[03:58] We don't deal with wild animals.

Speaker 4:
[03:59] Yeah, Petra and I have beef, obviously. She wants to kill me, but that's between me and her.

Speaker 3:
[04:04] You should have been like, yeah, no, it's my snake. Hey, folks, if you want to hear the rest of this episode, you're going to have to subscribe. This episode is one of our Premium Patreon-only episodes. Membership starts at just five bucks a month, so if you want to hear the rest, join us at patreon.com/fivefourpod. That's fivefourpod, all spelled out. Members get a bunch of stuff. Not only do you get access to the Premium episodes, but access to subscriber-only events, discounts on merch, and at the $10 a month level, you get bigger discounts on merch and membership in the incredibly rowdy five-to-four Slack. So again, that's patreon.com/fivefourpod, fivefourpod, all spelled out. Become a member today.