transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Now is your time to get into a new DR. Horton home by taking advantage of its national Red Tag sales event going on right now through Sunday, May 3rd. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select Red Tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the Red Tag sales event going on right now. Discover the DR. Horton difference. Tap your screen now or visit drhorton.com. DR. Horton, America's builder, an equal housing opportunity builder.

Speaker 2:
[00:31] Why have we asked our contractor we found on angie.com to be our kids' legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement, that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids, all eight of them, should something happen to us.

Speaker 1:
[00:44] Are you my dad now?

Speaker 3:
[00:46] Uh, no. Sorry, I do basements. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie, the one you trust, define the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at angie.com.

Speaker 4:
[01:00] Alright, buddy.

Speaker 5:
[01:01] Alright. It's that time again.

Speaker 4:
[01:03] Get your damn kids out of the room. You've been warned this is not for their ears.

Speaker 5:
[01:08] Out, out, out.

Speaker 4:
[01:10] Out? Out.

Speaker 5:
[01:12] Out.

Speaker 4:
[01:13] Out.

Speaker 5:
[01:16] What's your name? Hey, old pal.

Speaker 4:
[01:41] Oh, Nicole Ryan, how are you, buddy?

Speaker 5:
[01:45] You look like a real baseball player right now. I'm digging it.

Speaker 4:
[01:47] Can I tell you, you know why I don't wear a hat often?

Speaker 5:
[01:51] I think you've told me, you feel like you've got a big head, they don't always fit properly.

Speaker 4:
[01:55] And I have this weird fear that if I wear a hat too much, I'm gonna lose my hair.

Speaker 5:
[02:00] That is the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time. I've never even heard that. You know, there's certain wives tales that you're like, oh yeah, you're not supposed to do that. No, I've never heard that one.

Speaker 4:
[02:13] Like gum stays in your stomach for seven years?

Speaker 5:
[02:15] Right, or if you swallow watermelon seed, watermelon's gonna grow. No, you're not gonna lose your hair if you wear a hat. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

Speaker 4:
[02:21] I feel like it suffocates my hair.

Speaker 5:
[02:23] No, it's not your hair, it would be your hair follicles.

Speaker 4:
[02:26] I feel like my follicles are like, I'm trapped.

Speaker 5:
[02:28] No, the follicles are fine, they're just fine.

Speaker 4:
[02:31] They're under my hat right now, they're like, help me.

Speaker 5:
[02:33] Although my husband, Matt Ryan's head is not really helping my argument here. But he wears a hat like almost every single day, but he's just like his receding hairline is going just like normal, like his-

Speaker 4:
[02:49] Let me tell you, it's very strange that when you're a non-hat wearer, if you start wearing a hat, this is compelling conversation.

Speaker 5:
[02:59] It really is.

Speaker 4:
[03:00] You look around, you're like, oh my God, how many people wear hats?

Speaker 5:
[03:03] Yeah, I know, I hear you.

Speaker 4:
[03:05] Like I was at my kid's game over the weekend, and I'm looking around, like every dad in the crowd, everyone's wearing a hat?

Speaker 5:
[03:11] Everyone's wearing a freaking hat. I know, I know. Help me. But the thing is- I'm trapped right now. It's not what your hair follicles are doing. They're not trapped. They're suffocating me. Why? They're okay. They're going to be okay. I promise. What have I ever done to you? Good Lord. Oh man. What are we going to do with you?

Speaker 4:
[03:30] I saw something that you would think is fascinating. Shit, I'm going to send it to you later. You don't have to go get it now. It's all like the hottest dude celebrities and what they would look like if they were bald. And no offense to our bald-o brothers, our bald-o bald-os.

Speaker 5:
[03:45] We love a bald-o.

Speaker 4:
[03:46] But there's like what everyone from Pedro Pascal to Ryan Gosling, to everyone would look like if they had like a George Costanza.

Speaker 5:
[03:55] Okay. I understand what you're saying. See, listen, there is like balding and losing your hair, and then there's George Costanza. There's like the horseshoe, and that's like a completely different beast. And you know what? I know what.

Speaker 4:
[04:06] I have a question for you.

Speaker 5:
[04:07] What?

Speaker 4:
[04:08] In your single days, did you ever meet a guy wearing a hat, and then when you went on a date with him, you're like, oh my God, he's bald.

Speaker 5:
[04:19] No, no, no, no. And I think that would be like a bald, or maybe I think I maybe like he was wearing a hat when I met him, and I realized it wasn't as bountiful when the hat came off, but like never like, oh my God, it's completely different vibe. Like there's definitely people who put on a hat and they look like a completely different person with it. I've never had that.

Speaker 4:
[04:41] I feel like there's got to be a Seinfeld or curb or something about that.

Speaker 5:
[04:44] No, probably.

Speaker 4:
[04:46] There has to be an episode of something where it's like where they met like some hot dude and then he took off his hat and he was like, totally bald.

Speaker 5:
[04:52] Perhaps.

Speaker 4:
[04:53] Well, it's funny. We bring this up because not only do I have a list of the week, I have so many things to talk to you about. Nicole, I read an article today warning people.

Speaker 5:
[05:02] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[05:03] Of the dangers of medical tourism.

Speaker 5:
[05:06] Okay. Medical tourism?

Speaker 4:
[05:09] Yes. More and more people are going out of the country to get fat loss medicine, hair transplants, butt lifts, boob jobs, everything. And the price is fractional, but they're saying, here's the catch. A lot of foreign countries, the doctors and the staff are not prepared for complications. So God forbid something happens.

Speaker 5:
[05:30] Because they're in another country, like they're not taking into account that.

Speaker 4:
[05:35] So cancel your butt lift.

Speaker 5:
[05:37] I have to. I've been so excited about this BBL for so long. You know what sucks? If it wasn't so like, I don't know, it wouldn't be so number one, obvious, and number two, it's like people get them, but now at this point, it's like a boob job is still like, if you want a boob job, I get it. Like a BBL feels very like, you only get that if you're like a certain kind of person. It wasn't so much that, I would get a small one, like a perfect, like-

Speaker 4:
[06:04] So what you're saying is a boob job could be a mom that wants to gain confidence again, or someone that was born flat chested that wants a little-

Speaker 5:
[06:11] Right, right. But the butt is like a different beast. I feel like they haven't perfected it yet.

Speaker 4:
[06:17] Say it.

Speaker 5:
[06:17] What, that I want a BBL?

Speaker 4:
[06:18] You think BBLs are for hoes?

Speaker 5:
[06:20] Yeah, they are for hoes. I feel like that's what you normally see. And again, if you have had one, good for you, but I feel like from what we've seen thus far in this world, especially in the entertainment industry, because that's where it got kind of big with the Kardashians and then like female rappers and things like that. But like, I would love to get that. Like you could get like a small boob job and it's like, oh, you just want, like you said, a little bit of confidence. You get a BBL and it's like, what are you doing? Like, what are you doing? You're not Nicki Minaj, what are you doing? And I don't want to do that. But I would love one because I was literally born with the disease of no acetal. And it's a sad one.

Speaker 4:
[06:57] I'm looking it up right now. How many American women have had Brazilian butt lifts?

Speaker 5:
[07:02] What does it say?

Speaker 4:
[07:05] About 28,000 procedures a year. So here's, now let's do the math, Nicole.

Speaker 5:
[07:10] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[07:11] This podcast over the last years has had millions of downloads.

Speaker 5:
[07:15] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[07:16] We got listeners. I love it. We do. We appreciate every one of you.

Speaker 5:
[07:20] We love you, Village Bitches.

Speaker 4:
[07:22] Cheek by cheek, big or small.

Speaker 5:
[07:24] Yeah. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 4:
[07:25] Titty by titty.

Speaker 5:
[07:26] You know it.

Speaker 4:
[07:27] Big or small. Little one or...

Speaker 5:
[07:29] Right. Handful, more than a handful, doesn't matter. We love you.

Speaker 4:
[07:32] Do you think someone's listening right now that has a BBL and they're like, am I a ho?

Speaker 5:
[07:37] Probably, but I would say like of the percentage of Village Bitches, it would be like 2%. Maybe that's even like high. I honestly believe that.

Speaker 4:
[07:47] I just don't believe. I was like, fuck Nicole, I ain't no ho.

Speaker 5:
[07:49] Yeah, I'm not a ho. I got a BBL. You know what? I'm proud of it, baby. Yeah, I know what you're saying, but it is one of those things. It's not as like as welcomed or accepted as a boob job. So yeah.

Speaker 4:
[08:02] Well, hey, we could agree on that.

Speaker 5:
[08:03] Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 4:
[08:04] Hey, you know what? Where's the scourge? Because when a girl gets her boobs, I mean, you know me, I'm a boob connoisseur. I've, back in the day, I'd be able to take one little grab and be like, real, silicone, gummy bear, saline. I was like a...

Speaker 5:
[08:19] You should be so proud of yourself for that. So proud.

Speaker 4:
[08:22] I mean, God doesn't give you the skill. You just give, you have the skill set God gave you.

Speaker 5:
[08:26] You're born with it or you're not, right? Either got the gift or you don't.

Speaker 4:
[08:29] Some go through the nipple, some go through the armpit, some go underneath. I was, please. I was like, I was like an expert.

Speaker 5:
[08:38] Is that it? Is that the end of that aspect of the conversation? Is that why everyone to know that you're a professional?

Speaker 4:
[08:45] I've never only one time. We were to strip club in Vegas for someone's party and Sarah was even there. I remember there was this girl with a huge ass and I was like, I think we need to get a lap dance just to see what it feels like. Then I even asked the stripper, like, feel weird when you sit?

Speaker 5:
[09:00] Well, there's this too. Wait, did you actually say that?

Speaker 4:
[09:03] Yeah. She goes, oh, you get used to it. Because it was pretty, you know.

Speaker 5:
[09:09] Oh, was it, you wanted to do that? No, but then there's some that get it and it's not natural looking. Just a boob lift can be not, or a boob job can be not very natural looking. It looks blatantly like two balls, they are very spread apart. A Brazilian butt lift can get a lot of them, end up looking like shelves. I remember even questioning all of the Kardashians. Again, I'm still not completely sure, but it's like, you all have these tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny itty bitty weese. There's no way that your butt looks like that naturally, but some people's do.

Speaker 4:
[09:38] Yeah. It's usually the boobs you spoke of that are more hard.

Speaker 5:
[09:42] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[09:43] That's usually saline.

Speaker 5:
[09:44] Okay, good.

Speaker 4:
[09:45] Which were popular before silicone made a comeback.

Speaker 5:
[09:47] Good. I'm so happy that I know this now. Thank you so much. Can we move on?

Speaker 4:
[09:51] Boob expert.

Speaker 5:
[09:52] Is this your whole list of the week about how you're a boob expert?

Speaker 4:
[09:55] No, I wanted to talk to you about Coachella.

Speaker 5:
[09:57] Okay, talk to me.

Speaker 4:
[10:01] Which moment was cooler to you? Because weekend two of Coachella, I saw some of the highlights. By the way, what a perfect way to watch Coachella in highlight form.

Speaker 5:
[10:09] Yeah, totally. I had two from this weekend. I thought everyone brought it a little bit harder. Weekend two, there was two that gave me, one that gave me the chills and one that just made me smile so big I couldn't stop.

Speaker 4:
[10:20] Can I guess them?

Speaker 5:
[10:21] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[10:22] The one that made you smile was Billy Eilish with Bieber.

Speaker 5:
[10:24] Yep. Yep.

Speaker 4:
[10:25] And the one you loved was Sabrina Carpenter with Madonna.

Speaker 5:
[10:28] I mean, how much do you know me and love me? I'm obsessed with that. No, Rich, I legit got the chills. Number one, that song's so iconic, like Like A Prayer. Anybody does it and it just gets me. Like, if you ever heard Miley do it, Miley Cyrus' version of it is amazing. But to have somebody who has become as popular as Sabrina Carpenter, I was the first to not think that she was going to be able to get to the point that she did, to become what she did, and she's like a pop icon now. For her to be able to walk out on that stage with her holding her hands singing that iconic song, it must have been life changing.

Speaker 4:
[11:04] I, for the people that were mocking Madonna, I want to ask those people, what do you think you're going to look like when you're almost 70?

Speaker 5:
[11:11] Also, yeah, I don't even know if that, I think that some people were just like, why do you have to come back out? Like, that's silly, just like sell off into the sunset. But like, she still got it and still can do it, so why not? If it makes her happy to perform, fuck you.

Speaker 4:
[11:27] If you're one of those people, I apologize, because I think you're an idiot. I'll tell you why. It's the same people, do you remember when Paul McCartney and Kanye West did a song together?

Speaker 5:
[11:37] Yeah, and Rihanna, right?

Speaker 4:
[11:39] And do you remember there were-

Speaker 5:
[11:40] Five seconds.

Speaker 4:
[11:43] Yeah, there were four, five seconds.

Speaker 5:
[11:45] I like that we really know the words.

Speaker 4:
[11:47] It's a good song.

Speaker 5:
[11:48] Yeah, it's a great song.

Speaker 4:
[11:49] But do you remember there were numbskulls that were like, who's the old guy with Kanye?

Speaker 5:
[11:53] Like, fuck you. It's the Beatle of all Beatles.

Speaker 4:
[11:56] Yeah, I mean, it's Paul McCartney. But I get that same feeling when people were like, Warren Madonna, who like, yo, Madonna set the way for Britney, IZI, Sabrina Carpenter.

Speaker 5:
[12:08] Everybody. And they all know that. All of those girls would say that. Every single pop star right now and in the past 23 years would be like, I bow down to Madonna. No one's like, fuck that old bitch. Everyone is like, she set the tone. She set the bar. She paved the way. Every single one. So fuck you.

Speaker 4:
[12:26] All right, cool.

Speaker 5:
[12:28] I love that we agree.

Speaker 4:
[12:29] Yeah, also over this past weekend, I didn't watch, but I'm wondering, like, my thought was this. Besides me, you also do a podcast with Sam Roberts.

Speaker 5:
[12:39] I do.

Speaker 4:
[12:40] Because of that, do you sit through a Wrestlemania just so you could relate to him?

Speaker 5:
[12:44] No, and he knows that.

Speaker 4:
[12:46] Doesn't that make you a bad friend?

Speaker 5:
[12:47] No, it doesn't make me a bad friend because he doesn't ask me to. If he asks me to, like, at least watch this or please, like, I want to talk about this, he is already so and not in a bad way, like, oversaturated in the wrestling world. He does all his wrestling things. He's got his wrestling podcast. He does all his stuff like on SiriusXM for wrestling. He doesn't need to do more wrestling content. So, like, I should be the different content. I should be a different conversation for him. He makes fun sometimes and he explains things to me sometimes, but he's never been like, I really want you to watch, because if he did, I would watch. I really would.

Speaker 4:
[13:18] Is there a wrestler that you think is hot?

Speaker 5:
[13:20] There's been a couple over the years. Well, there was one that was really funny. I always thought The Undertaker, I was convinced that the under no, no, I don't think he's hot, that The Undertaker was the same person as Chris Angel because he had a picture in his studio of The Undertaker. And I was like, why do you have Chris Angel on your wall? And he's like, you fucking bitch.

Speaker 4:
[13:38] I think you would like Randy Orton. I don't know why.

Speaker 5:
[13:41] Let me look.

Speaker 4:
[13:42] I think Randy Orton might be your type.

Speaker 5:
[13:44] I need to look. I mean, I don't know. I don't know the names, but if I look at them, wait, that's one of the first things that come up. Oh, I like Randy Orton. I'm into Randy Orton. Oh, hell yeah, Randy Orton. What's up, Randy Orton?

Speaker 4:
[13:57] I don't think you would be into Cody Rhodes. You know what? CM Punk's a little grimy.

Speaker 5:
[14:01] No, I know CM Punk and I like CM Punk because isn't CM Punk the one that looks like a little bit like a mix between Colin Farrell and yes, I like him.

Speaker 4:
[14:09] What about Roman Reigns? Do you like that?

Speaker 5:
[14:11] Like, he's okay. I know the Sam like loves Roman Reigns, but it's not my thing.

Speaker 4:
[14:16] Coachella, WrestleMania, is your husband and son trying to go to the next playoff games this week or what?

Speaker 5:
[14:23] So they are not going to the next place because they did get to go to one of those games pre-playoffs, and we happen to be going to see the Savannah Bananas again on Saturday. I got tickets because I got in the lottery. You would think because we did all this content with them and they came on the show, that I'd be able to just get something sick, but they don't hook you up. They just don't. That's not their thing. The bananas say, talk to Yankee Stadium, Yankee Stadium says talk to the bananas, and they're like, we're not hooking you up with things for your kids.

Speaker 4:
[14:53] They don't need to. It's like Apple, right? Like Samsung and all these other phone companies, they'll give freebies to celebrities and stuff. Apple's like, nah.

Speaker 5:
[15:03] So we, because I have a relationship with a couple of them because they did come on the show and we got to hang out with them a little bit after last time, I reached out to ones that I have tickets, but I'd love to just be able to come down with the kids and say hi real quick. So one of them is going to hook us up so we can come down to the dugout, say hello, and do like an after the game on the field thing with them. But yeah, so I'm pumped about that. We're not really worried about the Knicks playoffs. We're just watching and really being hardcore Knicks fans, even though we're not all season long.

Speaker 6:
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Speaker 2:
[16:11] Why have we asked our contractor we found on angie.com to be our kid's legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement, that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids, the all eight of them, should something happen to us.

Speaker 1:
[16:23] Are you my dad now?

Speaker 3:
[16:26] No, sorry, I do basements. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie, the one you trust, find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at angie.com.

Speaker 4:
[16:46] So, I have a couple of shower thoughts for you today.

Speaker 5:
[16:49] Oh, okay, I love a shower thought.

Speaker 4:
[16:52] And then I have a question, a parental, like our childhood versus now question, okay?

Speaker 5:
[16:58] Okay, yeah, I have something that happened.

Speaker 4:
[17:00] By the way, please tell, I feel like, you know, if you have something.

Speaker 5:
[17:04] No, I do, I have one funny story that I wanna tell you that I don't wanna wait till Thursday to tell you that could possibly be a top that, but it's more just funny and it's so quick, doesn't need to be a top that, but something that happened with Parker, something that she heard and she started regurgitating that we were like, um, no, and I wanna know if you would agree.

Speaker 4:
[17:23] Okay, I can't wait to hear it.

Speaker 5:
[17:25] Okay, so you start.

Speaker 4:
[17:27] Shower thoughts.

Speaker 5:
[17:27] Yes, shower thoughts.

Speaker 4:
[17:30] Has it ever dawned on you that you spend a majority of your time, like raising and guiding two little people that at some point are just gonna live on their own and you're just not gonna see them every day, you're not like...

Speaker 5:
[17:50] Let's correct us, or correct you. They don't have dwarfism, so they're not little people. They're just small humans.

Speaker 4:
[17:57] Oh, okay, well, Nicole does not have little people.

Speaker 5:
[18:01] Yes, they're not.

Speaker 4:
[18:01] But is it crazy to think that you spend every waking minute, and doesn't it put a perspective, like, I wonder what our parents think? I feel like my parents should care more.

Speaker 5:
[18:11] Yeah, but then at some point, you do have to be like fly away little bird, and go do your own thing, and if you cared more, then you're like an obsessive parent that doesn't like that.

Speaker 4:
[18:22] You're like Beverly Goldberg? Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[18:24] You continue to helicopter even after they get married and have kids, and that can be nice for some people. But at the same point, I kind of like how much my mom and dad allow me to just be and do and live and raise them. But yeah, it's one of those things where, yeah, like, just like when I came over to the hospital with Parker and I was so excited and then I walked in the door and I started hysterically crying and was like, now what? I just have to keep this thing alive? It's the same thing. It's like, now not only do I just have to keep this person alive, I have to teach and nurture this thing to something that will be a productive part of society one day. And that's a lot of fucking pressure.

Speaker 4:
[19:07] It's weird when you see friends of ours that had kids very early and their kids are almost college age or in college. But then you're like, after that, they get a job, get an apartment, do their grown up thing and then you wouldn't matter just like we did our job.

Speaker 5:
[19:24] Yeah, I know. And then what? I know. I know. It's kind of crazy. I also think often about how-

Speaker 4:
[19:32] Doesn't like- I'm sorry. I'm just thinking like my parents supposed to be like, yep, our oldest son lives in California and he does this is like-

Speaker 5:
[19:38] Yeah, just almost like racks off like the bullet points of what you are and who you are and what you do now in your life. I know. I know. It is pretty intense. I also think about like the fact that we spend our whole lives and week in and week out. And this is also me just trying to tell myself and you, like when we talk about being more present and like in the moment, because like they say, you're going to miss this. Don't start singing and, you know, just be in. But but all this time, like gets the next thing. We got to get to this practice and we got to get to this school thing. And then like get to the grades and then, OK, they're going to go to camp. And then this next vacation. And it's constantly the next thing and not just like just living and being like, this is great. That's one of the things when I felt like I was in DR. I was like, I am enjoying this moment. This is so special. This is so cool. Every day is like get to the end of the day. Right. The judges are constantly trying to make it to the finish line of the day and then the week and then the month into like the next thing that you have to look forward to. It's intense.

Speaker 4:
[20:38] I'm with you. I've been trying. What you're saying, though, I've been doing. I've been doing, I think, a pretty good job doing what you're saying. So everything you're saying is resonating with me because if I'm with the kids at a practice, I'm like, I'm really enjoying this. And then when the kids are like, we all go out to dinner after practice and like three of the boys are like, hey, the parents are you want to take up to Wendy's? I'm like, yeah, and I take it in and I'm trying to be today.

Speaker 5:
[21:00] It's interesting and I feel like I'm getting it. Sorry, we're going so deep, Village Bitches, but sometimes this happens and we're not just dirty and silly. In DR, there was, I think I told you this, there was one day when Keegan and I just stayed back for like an hour or so when we were in the pool together and we were just being silly, just him and I, which doesn't always happen because he's always running to the next sport with Matt. And Matt came in later before we went out to dinner and he's like, I just want you to know that Keegan said, one of the greatest times of my life was this morning with mommy. I had the best time ever and I was like, because I was like so present. And then today we went to the park and we played the, I played the cross with Parker. Matt was shooting hoops at the courts. And then we switched and I was playing basketball a little bit. Not that I don't know how to play basketball. And he was throwing the lacrosse deck or the lacrosse ball. We get home and I was like, I have to do this. And Keegan goes, okay, mommy, at least we've got some really great family time. Like they're taking this in, you know? Like, it's like, I don't know. Like, I think I need to like, like almost like Pavlov's dog. You hear that? Like, that made him feel so good. Do that again. Do that more.

Speaker 4:
[22:05] You're gonna miss this.

Speaker 5:
[22:07] I said, don't sing.

Speaker 4:
[22:08] I know, I'm sorry. My other shower thought. This is, well, actually two more quick shower thoughts. Have you ever thought about how not only you're raising your kids, but you're sort of raising yourself?

Speaker 5:
[22:23] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[22:24] Like, you'd be like 27-year-old Nicole versus now?

Speaker 5:
[22:28] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[22:28] Like, you've become, you've gone from party girl, 27-year-old to like, mom.

Speaker 5:
[22:34] But then also, like, as the kids are going through these, like middle school, and I'm like, Parker, I remember middle school for me, and you're using your experiences to try to like help parent. It's like this whole full circle. Wow, we're in real meta today. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[22:48] One more.

Speaker 5:
[22:49] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[22:50] This is a dumb vain one, so now we're back on track. You ever think about how much better shape you'd be if you didn't have kid snaps everywhere?

Speaker 5:
[22:55] Yes, yes, I do. Yes, yes, I do. I did actually just the other day. I think Parker said something about the veins in my stomach and my thighs, and I go, yeah, you did that. She's like, what are those? I was like, you. I pushed. I pushed. I grew you when I pushed, and now I have horrible varicose veins.

Speaker 4:
[23:13] Can't you zap those?

Speaker 5:
[23:14] You can, but it's like I haven't done it yet. It's like another thing.

Speaker 4:
[23:16] You do all these other things.

Speaker 5:
[23:18] I don't really do all these other things. I do a little Botox, and I haven't done that forever. I'm overdue to go.

Speaker 4:
[23:23] Your head looks perfect.

Speaker 5:
[23:25] Thank you. I love you.

Speaker 4:
[23:26] I don't see an expression on your face.

Speaker 5:
[23:27] Well, you know, we're also like... I mean, there's a little.

Speaker 4:
[23:34] I feel like I try my best to stay in shape. I go to the gym three to four days a week during times where I'm not with the kids, so I'm like, I'm just sneaking in these workouts. Then I just got home, but before we sat down to do this pod, on the counter, there was just four rich crackers left in the sleeve. I just took them and walked in here, and I'm like, I do that every day with something, and I wonder how ripped that would be.

Speaker 5:
[24:00] If you didn't do that, right? When we first started the podcast, just how much are we gaining from making a mac and cheese and after we're done feeding them, just standing over the pot and scooping it into our mouths with a ladle? I mean, yes, we would be ripped, we would be in sick shape.

Speaker 4:
[24:17] I'm glad to know every parent takes a big ladle scoop of mac and cheese for themselves.

Speaker 5:
[24:22] It's so good, man. It's so worth it. I don't even care. And I know that it looks perverted. And if anybody was filming me, they'd be like, oh, oh, oh, okay. Wait, so speaking of that, Matt was making us breakfast the other day, and sometimes he's actually very sweet about it. I know he should really take care of the kids first when he's making breakfast and he's like, you want scrambled eggs? You want fried eggs? Blah, blah, blah. He'll kind of, he usually feeds me first because he's just like, gotta feed mama. And so he was feeding me first and Parker happened to be in the kitchen when she went to like get something from the counter and he was at the stove and he turned around and he was ready to give the plate to me. And he goes, he didn't know she was right there. And he turned around and he goes, here you go, sweet tits. And Parker was like, thanks, dad. And I was like, no, she's not. He goes, no, you're not sweet tits. No. And I was like, you're not, that's for me. He goes, give it to sweet tits over there. And I was like, stop saying sweet tits. It's just, see, now we're back on track. Now this is a little bit more.

Speaker 4:
[25:25] Now you're there. Oh, I make daddy eggs and that sounds worse than daddy eggs. Nope, but my kids are convinced that I make the best.

Speaker 5:
[25:34] Oh my God. I was convinced my dad made the best eggs. I don't think he did anything that special.

Speaker 4:
[25:38] No, you know what I do?

Speaker 5:
[25:39] What's daddy eggs?

Speaker 4:
[25:40] Two scrambled eggs, a little bit of cheddar cheese, and I put jarred medium jalapenos and a little jalapeno.

Speaker 5:
[25:49] Do you like that?

Speaker 4:
[25:50] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[25:50] See, my kids don't love the hot that much yet. They will. That sounds lovely.

Speaker 4:
[25:54] Yeah, it's essentially like a few little couple medium, like medium or mild jalapenos, but they call daddy eggs and Sarah makes them eggs.

Speaker 5:
[26:02] She's like, no, no, I want to have daddy eggs.

Speaker 4:
[26:04] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[26:05] Do you know that my mom used to make? Shout out, Linnie. She'll know. She used to make crazy eggs. And sometimes my dad wasn't there or something.

Speaker 4:
[26:13] Did you tell me this, whatever was left over from the night before?

Speaker 5:
[26:15] A little bit, but Whitney and I didn't want to throw in broccoli or meat from the night before, but we'd get to go and crumple up a bag of potato chips and sprinkle them in there. We were able to just throw in some of the fun stuff, and I just have such memories of that and it being special. But I don't know if it was that special. Probably only the crumbled up potato chips was what made them crazy. It was pretty crazy. It was crazy in the best way.

Speaker 4:
[26:43] I've thought about our favorite, you and I both love salt and vinegar chips.

Speaker 5:
[26:49] That would be good. I've never done that in eggs. Try that next.

Speaker 2:
[26:59] Why have I asked my HVAC guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? I was so amazed at how we replaced our air ducts. I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube.

Speaker 1:
[27:08] I think we should call a doctor.

Speaker 3:
[27:10] Angie, the one you trust, define the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at angie.com.

Speaker 7:
[27:15] Close your eyes. Focus. Listen to work getting done with monday.com. Relax as AI does the manual work, while your teams are reliant on a single source of truth. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform. So flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Notice, you're limitless. Now open your eyes, go to monday.com. Start for free and finally, breathe.

Speaker 4:
[27:52] Before you get into your story, I have a professional slash family slash mom, dad question, I guess. It applies to everything. Do you have a hard time saying, I can't do something?

Speaker 5:
[28:05] Like letting someone down? Like if someone says, hey, can you make it to this thing? Yes. And they talk about it in therapy often, and then it's okay. And you know what she said to me one time that finally resonated, and she wasn't trying to be mean? She's like, what happens if you tell that couple, you can't do dinner this Friday? And I'm like, they're going to be sad. I mean, they asked me to do dinner. They obviously missed me. They wanted like, and she's like, do you think? She goes, and I think you're amazing, but do you think you're that special that they're going to be heartbroken at home crying? Like, and I'm like, yes, but I know that that's completely illogical. So yes, I have a lot, a hard time saying no to things, even if it's a small thing like that. Hey, meet up for coffee. I don't want to let anybody down.

Speaker 4:
[28:46] Did you hire a therapist or a roaster?

Speaker 5:
[28:49] No, no, no, no, no. When we talk about how I'm a little bit of a people pleaser, even though I'm not completely, in that way, it makes it like Matt gets mad, and he's like, I don't care, I'm not doing it. I'm like, yes, you are. And he's like, why do you care so much? And I'm like, I don't want them to be disappointed in me.

Speaker 4:
[29:04] Let me tell you, we are in so many different circles of cool parents we've met through baseball, through softball, through school, that just the other night, we went out for pizza, Ben and I with some of the boys from baseball, and we were hanging with these cool parents that were so fun that I was like, Sarah was home with Emmy. I'm like, babe, I'm coming back with like 10 people. And Sarah's like, thank God Sarah's cool. And she's like, cool. And then like one of the other dads hit me up. He's like, yo, we should do a double date, get a babysitter and go out. And I'm like, yeah, sure. I want to make plans with everyone because when I enjoy your company, I feel I want to reciprocate it in some way.

Speaker 5:
[29:42] Yes, I got it. I get it. Yes, I do. And I also like want them to know, like if I've made something like a plan to someone new, like we've made plans with like some of one of Parker's aunt or Keegan's friends, parents, and then like I'm like, OK, we're going to go. And Matt ends up like fighting it, but he has a good time. But sometimes he needs to cancel once or twice before he agrees to go. I want them to know like we're not canceling because like I'm like that. Like and I don't want to be like Matt's like that. I want them to know like, no, I legit like you, like I legit want to hang out. And I'm afraid they're not going to know. And there's no way to convey that until we go. And I don't like that feeling.

Speaker 4:
[30:20] We're living the same life. Matt and Sarah, I am you.

Speaker 5:
[30:23] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:24] I will be like, hey, we should get dinner with those parents. And I want them to know that I think they're cool. And I hope they think we're cool.

Speaker 5:
[30:36] Yes. Yes. Yes. And I know people please.

Speaker 4:
[30:39] How people-pleasy is that?

Speaker 5:
[30:41] Is that? And I know that our coolness would mesh so well. I can feel it. I can feel the coolness coming together.

Speaker 4:
[30:48] I want you to know I like you. And I want you to think I'm cool.

Speaker 5:
[30:54] And I, cause I think you're cool. And I think we'd be so cool together. What's the matter with us? What happened in our childhood?

Speaker 4:
[31:00] You know what? Ask your therapist. I don't need to do the copay. I'll just ask you what they tell you.

Speaker 5:
[31:05] 20 bucks, man. It's not that much.

Speaker 4:
[31:07] Because you know what? Not only plans are parents. I thought about this because one of my buddies is a filmmaker, but more smaller projects. He's on his hustle. And he wants me to do something in his movie. And I don't know how to tell him, my pockets of time are so little, but I don't want to feel like I'm big timing him. But he's like, hey, can we do this? I want to be like, listen, dude, every day, I'm recording like five things, I'm coaching.

Speaker 5:
[31:33] Yeah, right. But also, recording anything like that for a movie, even if it's like an indie or something or a small project, it requires a few hours at least.

Speaker 4:
[31:42] And there's a part of me that's like, trust me, I want to help you do it. But if you only knew that my day to day is so to the minute with, and I'm not doing anything super important for a job, but everything I'm doing is back to back to back, and then I go straight to coaching, and then I come home.

Speaker 5:
[32:02] There's no room for changing it up at all or slipping something else in. There's just not. There's just not.

Speaker 4:
[32:08] Yeah. So, all right. So, it's okay to say no?

Speaker 5:
[32:10] It's okay to say no. I'm still working on it myself. Speaking of saying no, Matt and I, we've talked about this before. We love that our kids have a very good musical education. They know everything from classic rock to like 60s to rap to the 90s to like everything, to like country. They know all the things. And we give them a good musical education, I feel. But also because of TikTok and like YouTube and stuff, they sometimes will put a song will come on the radio. And like Parker's in the back, King in the back like reciting it word for word. And we're like, how do you know that song? And it's because of like a TikTok or something. So, we're always like, oh my God, that's so crazy. But the other day, I hear Parker in the room, nothing's on, but I hear, let me see if I can play this. So she's just singing that and doing a dance and they go, excuse me, what are you doing? And I don't like that Emmy is standing there, she can't hear me, right? She can't hear you. Okay, good, okay. Cause this is inappropriate for everybody involved, including myself. But I was like, what are you doing? And she was like, oh, it's like a TikTok. I was like, no. And she was like, what's so bad about that? I was like, I don't think she even like comprehends what she's saying, but it's just like a fun Monday, eat my ass. No, we're not singing about eating ass on the different days of the week.

Speaker 4:
[33:43] Is that is that number one on Spider Harrison's weekend countdown?

Speaker 5:
[33:47] It's literally by someone named Cupcake, and it's called Sloppy Joe. I'm not letting my kid sing that. So though we're giving them a nice musical education, this is not part of the education. And now-

Speaker 4:
[34:00] Should that be Keegan's new walk up music for baseball?

Speaker 5:
[34:03] Oh my God. They just actually sent a whole new slew of new walk up songs for all of the players. But help me.

Speaker 4:
[34:09] I wanted to tell you, Emi, you want to put this in for a second? We're talking about music, Emi. I want to give you a quiz. What is the first line of Teddy Swim's song? Wait.

Speaker 5:
[34:21] Something got hold of me lately. Yeah, girl.

Speaker 4:
[34:25] You sing it louder.

Speaker 3:
[34:25] Keep going.

Speaker 4:
[34:27] Keep singing it.

Speaker 5:
[34:28] Come on.

Speaker 4:
[34:29] Don't be shy.

Speaker 3:
[34:30] You don't want to sing?

Speaker 5:
[34:31] It's okay.

Speaker 4:
[34:32] No.

Speaker 5:
[34:33] I don't want to. It's okay. You don't have to, but I know you know all the songs. You know all the songs, all the-

Speaker 4:
[34:37] Emi loves Teddy Swims and we've been learning more Teddy Swims.

Speaker 5:
[34:41] He's amazing. I interviewed him, Emi, and he's one of the nicest people ever. He's so nice. You just want to give him a big hug like a teddy bear. He's the nicest man ever, so you have to meet him one day. He's so cool.

Speaker 4:
[34:51] Please.

Speaker 5:
[34:52] Yes, please.

Speaker 4:
[34:54] By the way, Emi wants to have a karaoke birthday party.

Speaker 5:
[34:56] Love that. I think that's the coolest. It's so different and fun. It's going to be a blast. Cool.

Speaker 4:
[35:02] Well, have fun, baby. I love you. Bye. I thought you wanted to sing more Teddy Swims. Go have fun. Tell mommy I'll be around for dinner in a few minutes. Tell her it smells good and daddy loves her, OK?

Speaker 5:
[35:12] It smells so good and daddy loves her.

Speaker 4:
[35:14] All right. Bye. Bye. Love you now. Love you now.

Speaker 5:
[35:16] Saturday, eat my ass. Sunday, eat my ass. That's a song? What the fuck?

Speaker 4:
[35:23] I have one more parental question and we'll call it a night.

Speaker 5:
[35:27] All right.

Speaker 4:
[35:27] Have a fun podcast. By the way, for the Thursday episode this week, why did your camera zoom in when you took your shirt off? I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[35:38] And now it's zooming out. What do I do to make it zoom in again? Let me just try to do it again.

Speaker 4:
[35:43] Wiggle them.

Speaker 5:
[35:45] Why did that happen?

Speaker 4:
[35:48] Nicole's not naked, everyone. She just took over her sweatshirt and she ran like a tank top on it. And all of a sudden the camera zoomed in.

Speaker 5:
[35:56] Like it was like a really meaningful moment.

Speaker 4:
[35:58] Do you have titty settings on your webcam?

Speaker 5:
[35:59] No.

Speaker 4:
[36:00] Fuck you. You know what? I may just say good night.

Speaker 5:
[36:05] What was that?

Speaker 4:
[36:06] No, on Thursday's episode, I have a bedroom fail for Sarah and I that you're going to love. It's like embarrassing.

Speaker 5:
[36:13] You're not going to remember.

Speaker 4:
[36:15] I'm writing it down.

Speaker 5:
[36:17] Thursday, eat my ass. Is that what happened? You guys ate your ass?

Speaker 4:
[36:20] No, it's not that. But there's a bedroom fail. And you know what? I'll save this one as well. I don't want to.

Speaker 5:
[36:26] Please save it because we need all the good stuff. And I feel like me just getting zoomed in on. Sarah, if you want to pull that, I think that could be interesting because I have no fucking clue. I just took over my computer.

Speaker 4:
[36:36] I love the new settings.

Speaker 5:
[36:37] I mean, I don't think I should change anything.

Speaker 4:
[36:40] I feel like those settings are what my eyes do in real life.

Speaker 5:
[36:42] Right? It's like, whoa, whoa. Anyways, we love you, Village Bitches, so very much. We will see you on Thursday. Make sure you like, subscribe and follow. Do all the things. And make sure you leave us five stars. Hit us up at MashupNicole at Rich Davis. At Have Kids They Said pod on the Insta. And I guess we'll see you on Thursday or.

Speaker 4:
[37:02] Hey, by the time we talk again, do you think me and Mets Mets will win?

Speaker 5:
[37:06] No, it's not good, babe. It's not good.

Speaker 4:
[37:09] As of the recording of this podcast, they've lost 11 in a row.

Speaker 5:
[37:12] I am aware and he's not pleased.

Speaker 4:
[37:14] Do you know that no team that's lost 12 in a row has ever made the playoff? So.

Speaker 5:
[37:18] Oh, great. OK, let's hope the next one's a good one.

Speaker 4:
[37:20] It's only April.

Speaker 5:
[37:22] OK.

Speaker 4:
[37:22] How are we supposed to enjoy this team all year?

Speaker 5:
[37:24] I don't know. Don't don't. Hey, do not shoot me.

Speaker 4:
[37:27] Mrs. Mets has a nice ass though.

Speaker 5:
[37:29] OK, she does. Do you want to eat it? Maybe this Thursday. Eat her ass.

Speaker 4:
[37:34] On that note, hey, Have Kids They Said is a Nicole and Rich production.

Speaker 5:
[37:41] Love you, Sarah.

Speaker 2:
[37:52] Why have we asked our contractor we found on angie.com to be our kid's legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement, that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids, all eight of them, should something happen to us.

Speaker 1:
[38:05] Are you my dad now?

Speaker 3:
[38:07] Uh, no. Sorry, I do basements. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust, define the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at angie.com.

Speaker 7:
[38:21] Close your eyes. Listen to monday.com. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform. So flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Now open your eyes. Go to monday.com. Start for free and finally breathe.