transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:01] Gareth, The Dollop is brought to you by Quince.
Speaker 2:
[00:06] Oh, Dave.
Speaker 1:
[00:07] Look, this time of year, this is... I started rethinking my closet, you know? It's the time. I'm like, what's going on?
Speaker 3:
[00:13] Sure.
Speaker 1:
[00:13] Trying to keep fewer things. I want the...
Speaker 3:
[00:15] You're living in yours.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 3:
[00:29] Say it.
Speaker 1:
[00:29] Quince.
Speaker 3:
[00:31] Quince.
Speaker 1:
[00:31] Keep coming back.
Speaker 3:
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Speaker 1:
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Speaker 3:
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Speaker 1:
[01:02] Some people would say easy peasy.
Speaker 3:
[01:04] I would have an issue with them.
Speaker 1:
[01:06] I got a couple linen shirts, which I just wear one today, because of course it's hot, and I got a pair of jeans.
Speaker 3:
[01:13] You mean it's physically hot on you.
Speaker 4:
[01:15] Yeah, everything is.
Speaker 1:
[01:16] My wife, when she saw it, she's like, what are you, why are you using my brand?
Speaker 4:
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Speaker 1:
[01:21] And I was like, well, now it's our brand, so deal with it.
Speaker 3:
[01:24] She said the same thing to me.
Speaker 4:
[01:26] So Quince makes high quality, everyday essentials using premium materials, like 100% European linen, and they're insanely soft, flower-knit active wear fabric.
Speaker 1:
[01:37] Men's linens pants, which is next on my list, and shirts are lightweight, breathable, comfortable.
Speaker 3:
[01:41] You're going to go all linen, huh?
Speaker 4:
[01:42] Perfect for, I've been doing linen for a while, and I've been a hard time finding good linen, and this is good linen.
Speaker 1:
[01:49] The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined, so you look put together, while not trying too hard. So we're big, we're big Quincers.
Speaker 4:
[01:58] Gareth's been a Quincer for a while, I'm new to Quincing.
Speaker 3:
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Speaker 4:
[02:07] That's right.
Speaker 1:
[02:08] So look, refresh your wardrobe with Quince, go to quince.com/dollop for free shipping, and the 365 day returns policy now available in Canada to go to quince.com/dollop for free shipping, and a 365 day returns quince.com/dollop.
Speaker 3:
[02:30] Let's fucking go.
Speaker 1:
[02:31] Let's fucking go. You're listening to The Dollop. This is an American history podcast where each week, I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a creepy, creepy man.
Speaker 3:
[02:48] Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic will be about.
Speaker 5:
[02:54] 1841.
Speaker 1:
[03:00] Year of our Lord J-Town.
Speaker 3:
[03:05] Woo!
Speaker 1:
[03:06] Snowmobiles. Woo! He's been getting into snowmobiles and he's fucking digging it.
Speaker 3:
[03:15] Cool. Whatever. Not just inaccurate.
Speaker 1:
[03:18] And where he puts, he wears a cape when he does it.
Speaker 5:
[03:20] What year do you think he lived?
Speaker 1:
[03:22] All years, buddy. He never stopped living. Not in here. Not in here.
Speaker 3:
[03:27] So now he's James Bond?
Speaker 1:
[03:30] Buddy, he lives in your heart and he lives in my heart.
Speaker 3:
[03:33] Just get out of my face.
Speaker 1:
[03:35] Pig's Eye, Minnesota was a town.
Speaker 3:
[03:40] Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:
[03:41] Was a town named after its first settler, Pierre Pig's Eye Perrot.
Speaker 4:
[03:47] That's right.
Speaker 1:
[03:49] He was called Pig's Eye because he had one weird eye.
Speaker 3:
[03:52] He was?
Speaker 4:
[03:52] Yeah.
Speaker 6:
[03:54] Is he is a French?
Speaker 1:
[03:59] But when Father Lucian Gator.
Speaker 3:
[04:03] Lucian Gator? We got a pig and a gator?
Speaker 1:
[04:06] When Father Lucian Gator built the first church, he named it for St. Paul and said the city had to be called St. Paul.
Speaker 5:
[04:14] Pig's Eye was St. Paul?
Speaker 1:
[04:16] Pig's Eye became St. Paul.
Speaker 3:
[04:18] Why did you ditch it?
Speaker 5:
[04:20] You had a fucking winner.
Speaker 3:
[04:23] Nobody fucks with Pig's Eye, Minnesota.
Speaker 5:
[04:26] Nobody.
Speaker 1:
[04:26] Nobody.
Speaker 5:
[04:27] Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[04:29] Teachers, look, I'm not asking you to put a bunch of stuff in the docket of problem, but maybe we go back to Pig's Eye? Yeah, I went to Pig's Eye Elementary.
Speaker 1:
[04:39] Oh, how great would that be?
Speaker 3:
[04:41] Oh, Pig's Eye is the best name of a city ever.
Speaker 1:
[04:46] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[04:46] You're leaving it on the table.
Speaker 1:
[04:50] Yeah, St. Paul grew at the railroad and it became a main upper midwest hub of distribution and commerce. And so the population keeps doubling and money's flowing in and businesses are taking off and immigration.
Speaker 3:
[05:06] We're in a montage right now, right?
Speaker 1:
[05:08] Yeah, montage.
Speaker 3:
[05:09] We're seeing things are building up.
Speaker 1:
[05:11] Jobs, jobs. But as any city grows, so does crime. Quote, masses daily sifted into the city, low river dives and dance halls and gawgeries flourishing there and no respectable man, much less a woman, dared enter the neighborhood after dark. The game of sharpers lying in wait for the approach of a tender foot, the relay of frail and tawdry women ready to murder the souls of men. And yet, and in yet another vendor of distilled poison, destined to kill its victims, old men, young men, fair young girls, and hideous hags. Even the ugly, even the ugly women are not safe.
Speaker 5:
[06:02] Who's killing everybody there?
Speaker 1:
[06:03] The criminals.
Speaker 3:
[06:04] Okay, I wasn't sure if they were making it seem like there was like a bunch of female murderers in the town.
Speaker 1:
[06:11] No, the females, it sounds like they're getting murdered. But so are old men and young men.
Speaker 6:
[06:16] But they're also murdering.
Speaker 1:
[06:17] There's just a lot of killers about.
Speaker 3:
[06:19] Yeah, okay, so yeah.
Speaker 1:
[06:20] St. Paul's a killer city.
Speaker 3:
[06:22] Please, pig's eye. Have some respect.
Speaker 1:
[06:27] St. Paul at the time was the northern terminus of the Mississippi River, not anymore. So anyone or goods going north had to stop in the twin cities. The St. Paul pioneer quotes, soon after the opening of navigation each year, the black legs, pimps, thieves and bruisers seemed to swarm up the river.
Speaker 4:
[06:47] And for a short time, names for criminals there.
Speaker 1:
[06:50] Well, they're different.
Speaker 3:
[06:51] Are there different types of criminals?
Speaker 1:
[06:52] A pimp is not a thief. A thief is a different type.
Speaker 3:
[06:55] I'd argue a pimp is a thief.
Speaker 1:
[06:56] Wow. A bruiser is not a thief or a pimp. He's a bruiser. Very easy. Pimp. Pimp. Nope. Nope. Yes. And then a black leg is, you know, that guy's just got his legs painted black. So he's that's how.
Speaker 6:
[07:12] How are ya? How's everybody doing tonight?
Speaker 1:
[07:15] Holy shit, this guy's a black leg.
Speaker 5:
[07:17] All right, well, don't run away. Come on. Let me paint your legs. You start with your nails and you just don't want to stop.
Speaker 1:
[07:27] In 1880s, St. Paul Police counted seven brothels and 242 saloons.
Speaker 3:
[07:32] I bet they did.
Speaker 1:
[07:33] That's a lot of fucking saloons.
Speaker 3:
[07:35] Great.
Speaker 1:
[07:36] I wouldn't even guess there were that many houses.
Speaker 3:
[07:40] I mean, you don't need one.
Speaker 1:
[07:41] I don't know how to guess things, though.
Speaker 3:
[07:42] Yeah, that's true. It's always been a problem for you.
Speaker 1:
[07:45] Minneapolis had 5,000 more people, but half as many brothels and 70 fewer saloons.
Speaker 3:
[07:53] Weak.
Speaker 1:
[07:54] You are some weak-ass shit. Get your fucking brothel game up.
Speaker 3:
[08:01] What, you fuck already?
Speaker 1:
[08:03] Well, you get drunk and fuck already.
Speaker 3:
[08:05] Good Lord. What, are you getting drunk and going home? Go pay to throw it in something, you fools.
Speaker 1:
[08:12] That just means that everyone from Minneapolis is going across the river to bang. That's all that means.
Speaker 3:
[08:16] Or they're just drunk, masturbating.
Speaker 1:
[08:20] I get it.
Speaker 3:
[08:21] Yup.
Speaker 2:
[08:24] Drunk, masturbating.
Speaker 3:
[08:26] Really fades as you get older. As you get older, you're like, well, that was a bad idea.
Speaker 2:
[08:33] Well, to be continued.
Speaker 3:
[08:35] I'll see you tomorrow, almost hard penis. Apparently, I need a second party here. I learned that I should have washed my hands after the Cheetos. Boy, that's weird. It looks like Trump's dick. I checked up with Cheetos and Trump came out of me.
Speaker 6:
[08:59] Hello, I'm a genie.
Speaker 3:
[09:05] I will grant you three wishes, which for all the money in the world. Okay, done. Nothing's changed. Everything changed. Your metrics are off.
Speaker 1:
[09:17] I'm still stuck on a Cheeto dick, is it? I feel like that would have been a way to trick somebody a long time ago.
Speaker 3:
[09:25] Walk me through this.
Speaker 1:
[09:27] Well, you just, you come home drunk, and you just put Cheeto flavoring on your dick, and you're like, and then someone comes in, they're like, I don't know.
Speaker 5:
[09:39] I guess maybe it's time to define what a trick is.
Speaker 1:
[09:49] It's the old, it's the old Cheeto trick. It's because other people come in drunk, and they're like, what, what are they going to do? They're looking for a snack.
Speaker 3:
[10:01] It's like talking to an eight year old about what he thinks his 20s will be like. This guy is such a fucking prankster. I can't believe I sucked his dick.
Speaker 1:
[10:14] Because it looks like a Cheeto.
Speaker 3:
[10:16] It looks like a Cheeto.
Speaker 5:
[10:19] And then I'll have an apartment.
Speaker 1:
[10:22] Like the reason I bring that up is because when I was in college, we were all out partying. And one of our buddies is like, I'm drunk, I'm going home. And then he lived with two of my other friends and they came home. And he was just on the couch in the living room. His pants around his ankle just passed out with his hand. Like he just passed out mid-jerk.
Speaker 3:
[10:44] I have a buddy who in Chicago was on, I was like, this is like 30 years ago, was on a cordless phone, called the 900 number and was, this is horrendous, was smoking a cigarette while he was like outside, like jerking off to a 900 number hammered. And then he passed out in the snow and his mom found him.
Speaker 1:
[11:10] She was like, oh, I did not raise this one well.
Speaker 3:
[11:16] Wake up or don't.
Speaker 1:
[11:18] Oh, God, the 900 number sounds like my mom.
Speaker 3:
[11:21] Yeah, OK.
Speaker 1:
[11:23] Did I die one in hundred moms?
Speaker 3:
[11:27] It's not enough numbers.
Speaker 1:
[11:31] Well, my hundred moms, moms, moms, moms. There were 28 cops.
Speaker 3:
[11:38] Wow. What a different time.
Speaker 1:
[11:41] They're kind of they're kind of half half looking like Canadian Mounties.
Speaker 3:
[11:44] Yeah, they really they look like park rangers. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[11:48] And of course, they targeted black people and immigrants. Hey, you can imagine if you can imagine a time. The Irish were under 10 percent of the population, but made up of 35 percent of all arrests for drunkenness and fighting. They're mostly arrested for drunkenness and fighting, and citizens had varying opinions when it came to vice, like they were split on prostitution. Some wanted prohibition, but many want a legalization and regulation, and the cops split the difference. Every month, each sex worker was arrested, and their madame's fined $25 plus $10 for every woman who worked for them. So it's like a brothel tax.
Speaker 3:
[12:33] Right.
Speaker 1:
[12:34] And the fines made up half of all money collected in police court.
Speaker 3:
[12:39] Well, Jesus Christ, they really needed that.
Speaker 1:
[12:44] They left gamblers alone. It was impossible to stop, so why not tax it? Gamblers were usually wealthy and connected to the mayor and city council, and new mayors would fire the police force, then hire a new one that was loyal to them. Cool.
Speaker 2:
[13:01] Good stuff.
Speaker 1:
[13:02] Weird. Can you imagine a guy doing that?
Speaker 3:
[13:05] Demanding loyalty from your enforcement.
Speaker 1:
[13:09] After the election of a mayor with Scandinavian connections, a paper joke that 500 men named Olaf claimed they were promised police jobs.
Speaker 2:
[13:18] Well, that's just...
Speaker 1:
[13:22] An hour after inauguration, Mayor Robert Smith fired all the cops and appointed...
Speaker 3:
[13:26] They didn't fuck around. No. The first thing they did was like, You're out.
Speaker 1:
[13:31] And appointed John Jay, the big fellow O'Connor, as chief. Oh! O'Connor's dad was an Irish immigrant and city councilman for years, and John became a cop at 26. He was 6'3, which was huge for the time. Wow. And smart, and said to be quote...
Speaker 3:
[13:53] Which was big for the time.
Speaker 1:
[13:58] And smart, and said to be quote, to St. Paul, what Scotland Yard is to London.
Speaker 3:
[14:03] Oh, fuck.
Speaker 1:
[14:05] He was a cop.
Speaker 3:
[14:06] He's Sherlock.
Speaker 1:
[14:08] He's Sherlock.
Speaker 3:
[14:10] I can see everything.
Speaker 1:
[14:13] I'm just making happy faces.
Speaker 3:
[14:16] You're not.
Speaker 1:
[14:16] I am.
Speaker 3:
[14:17] It's sarcastic shrug.
Speaker 1:
[14:18] Say it again.
Speaker 3:
[14:19] No.
Speaker 1:
[14:19] Say it again.
Speaker 3:
[14:20] You see Sherlock. It's hurtful.
Speaker 1:
[14:25] That was a happy face. Yeah. He was a cop 19 years before becoming the police chief. His brother Dick became commissioner. Dick was nicknamed the Cardinal because he was, quote, more influential, charismatic and powerful than the archbishop.
Speaker 3:
[14:45] Well, this is a different era, obviously.
Speaker 1:
[14:47] They really worked on nicknames back then. They were like, all right, come on, guys, come bring it in. We got to come up with something for Dick.
Speaker 3:
[14:54] The Cardinal. Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1:
[14:55] Why? Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[14:57] What?
Speaker 1:
[14:58] We're thinking about this. We got a winner. Is that after the bird?
Speaker 2:
[15:00] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[15:01] Let some smoke out of that chimney. We got a nickname.
Speaker 2:
[15:05] What do you do?
Speaker 1:
[15:05] Woo. I don't think you know what's up.
Speaker 2:
[15:08] We're fucking back, baby.
Speaker 1:
[15:10] Back from where?
Speaker 3:
[15:11] USA.
Speaker 1:
[15:12] Okay. Here we go. It's a good chant. Within a day of the Mayor Smith's election, the brothers cleaned house and gave John absolute power. John's greatest pride was his new home squad.
Speaker 3:
[15:32] The handsome squad? Let's see those faces.
Speaker 1:
[15:36] Handsome squad. You can't see their faces.
Speaker 3:
[15:40] No.
Speaker 1:
[15:41] I don't think that he literally hired them on being attractive.
Speaker 3:
[15:44] All right. Turn around. Pick up your pistol. You got a beautiful... There you go. Wow. Yowzy wowzy. Do you have any experience in law enforcement?
Speaker 1:
[15:55] No, but I can put cheeto dust on my cock. Your honor. Are you a judge?
Speaker 3:
[16:04] Welcome aboard, Sergeant.
Speaker 1:
[16:06] Thank you.
Speaker 2:
[16:08] You're the best we have.
Speaker 1:
[16:10] Oh, I know it. So, John, there is no city in the US that has a squad of patrolmen larger, better looking, better dressed and better behaved.
Speaker 3:
[16:25] Now read it as Trump.
Speaker 1:
[16:28] There is... I can't do it.
Speaker 5:
[16:29] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[16:29] Do you want to read it as Trump?
Speaker 5:
[16:30] Sure.
Speaker 1:
[16:32] It's very top there. Very top.
Speaker 6:
[16:56] And nobody will figure out our handshake.
Speaker 1:
[17:00] Now, as we said, in 1900, St. Paul was rife with crime. Thefts, burglaries, arson, murders, and other crimes rose dramatically. So to bring down crime, John reframed what a crime was.
Speaker 2:
[17:15] This is...
Speaker 1:
[17:17] That's how you do it. Liquor laws, gambling, prostitution, another vice, got a blind eye. There are even credible allegations that John's wife, Annie, ran a prostitution ring out of the old Bucket O'Blood saloon.
Speaker 2:
[17:33] Yeah, what a...
Speaker 3:
[17:34] I would really rather fuck in another area than the Bucket O'Blood.
Speaker 1:
[17:40] I get so turned on by a big old bucket of blood, like a hot, hot, just warm bucket of blood. Doesn't have to be hot, but like, not room temperature, I want it just a little bit above.
Speaker 2:
[17:52] Gonna go down to the Bucket O'Blood and see what happens.
Speaker 1:
[17:55] The crazy thing is, is I tried to see if I could find a picture of the Bucket O'Blood, but across the country, there are like 50 Bucket O'Blood saloons.
Speaker 3:
[18:03] Well, it's not even, it's like, I don't, it's just if I was like, yeah, now I'm turned on, I'm gonna go to the Bucket O'Blood and fuck. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[18:14] Don't try it till you knock it.
Speaker 2:
[18:16] You're such a prude.
Speaker 3:
[18:19] Is that your pitch for dyslexia?
Speaker 1:
[18:20] I think so. I think so. But John did reinforce bands on dancing cheek to cheek and kissing in public.
Speaker 5:
[18:30] That is, don't wait, don't wait.
Speaker 3:
[18:33] Fucking for money legal. But he's like, if I see two cheeks touch it, sweet mother of God, will I beat the shit out of that couple? That is fucking disgusting.
Speaker 1:
[18:45] So look in the other way, let the St. Paul having a much smaller crime rate than East Coast cities, which made people come out here because they're like, Oh, look how safe it is in St. Paul.
Speaker 5:
[18:57] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[18:58] Keep your cheeks away from each other.
Speaker 3:
[18:59] Excuse me.
Speaker 1:
[19:00] I'll crack your fucking skull.
Speaker 2:
[19:02] Keep those cheeks far away.
Speaker 1:
[19:03] By the way, they're Irish.
Speaker 5:
[19:05] Keep your cheeks far away from each other.
Speaker 2:
[19:08] Don't let your cheeks touch each other.
Speaker 5:
[19:10] By the way, if you fancy a shag for money, come to the Book of the Blood.
Speaker 2:
[19:14] Oh, you'll love it.
Speaker 6:
[19:16] It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3:
[19:18] You know why they call it the Book of the Blood, don't you?
Speaker 5:
[19:20] No. Well, because there's fluids that are horrible everywhere.
Speaker 2:
[19:24] At the Book of the Blood, it'll be a fluid, a fluid, the Book of the Blood.
Speaker 1:
[19:33] That doesn't make me-
Speaker 5:
[19:34] My name's Chappie.
Speaker 3:
[19:35] I'll be your guide to this town. I'm a bit of a problem, but I'm also quite full of knowledge. Give me your money.
Speaker 1:
[19:43] No.
Speaker 3:
[19:44] Your wife's mine.
Speaker 1:
[19:45] What?
Speaker 3:
[19:46] Now your wife's mine.
Speaker 1:
[19:49] What the fuck was that?
Speaker 5:
[19:50] Come on, let's go to- Okay.
Speaker 3:
[19:54] You're my best friend.
Speaker 1:
[19:57] I just-
Speaker 3:
[19:57] We should start a business together, you and I.
Speaker 5:
[19:59] I don't.
Speaker 3:
[19:59] Shoe shining. That'll be perfect.
Speaker 5:
[20:02] There's folks here who've got legs painted black.
Speaker 2:
[20:04] Imagine if we'd shine them. That'd be a business. And the book and the blood. You'll have a time and the book and the blood.
Speaker 6:
[20:13] Your wife and I are on the rocks.
Speaker 1:
[20:15] What?
Speaker 3:
[20:16] Let me sleep in your jars.
Speaker 1:
[20:19] My jars?
Speaker 3:
[20:20] Drars.
Speaker 1:
[20:21] Drawers?
Speaker 5:
[20:22] Yeah, for your chest.
Speaker 1:
[20:24] My pants are my-
Speaker 5:
[20:25] Your jars!
Speaker 3:
[20:27] The jars where you put your jars.
Speaker 1:
[20:29] My dresser at home.
Speaker 2:
[20:30] That's the one.
Speaker 1:
[20:33] Why would you sleep there?
Speaker 2:
[20:34] Well, I'm compact and I need a place to live.
Speaker 1:
[20:36] You're six foot three.
Speaker 5:
[20:37] And you're my best friend.
Speaker 1:
[20:38] I'm not.
Speaker 3:
[20:39] Well, we'll figure it out. Maybe you go in the jars, I go in the bed. As a matter of fact, I've got a bit of a thing for your wife. All right. What?
Speaker 2:
[20:47] And the boogie-da-da.
Speaker 1:
[20:51] God, you're an awful person.
Speaker 6:
[20:53] Well, get out.
Speaker 1:
[20:56] It's amazing how much you changed when I said you were Irish.
Speaker 6:
[21:02] Something that has happened.
Speaker 1:
[21:06] John went further creating the further than, you know, pretend like crime's not there. John went further creating what became the O'Connor Layover Agreement. So John's force would allow any criminals to come and stay in St. Paul as long as they promised not to do crime in St. Paul.
Speaker 3:
[21:33] So it was sort of like a criminal ghoul.
Speaker 1:
[21:38] I mean, it's fucked for Minneapolis, but...
Speaker 5:
[21:42] Yeah, but fuck them.
Speaker 1:
[21:44] But St. Paul is great. Like, it's loving it.
Speaker 2:
[21:46] You just get...
Speaker 3:
[21:47] It must have been so hard for criminals. They're like, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[21:51] They could just come across the river and do whatever.
Speaker 2:
[21:53] Just go swim across the river and just beat the shit out of someone.
Speaker 1:
[21:58] Want to do crime in Milwaukee? Fine. Duluth? No problem. Minneapolis? Yes. But you could not rob, hurt, or kill anyone in the St. Paul city limits.
Speaker 3:
[22:07] Pretty cool rule. If every city made that rule, could be a solution. Or we just have one town, or we're like, this is Crimesville. I think we're lost.
Speaker 1:
[22:22] A criminal would arrive at the train depot, find the nearest cop who would send him to the Savoy Hotel, and he would check in with Reddy Griffin, who was the crook liaison with the cops.
Speaker 3:
[22:38] I guess I didn't expect criminals to be so above board with their arrival. Can we see your crime passport? There you are.
Speaker 5:
[22:47] All right, right this way.
Speaker 3:
[22:48] Come to your room. No crime now. So you had to declare yourself.
Speaker 1:
[22:53] I mean, essentially, yeah. You like, you're like registering.
Speaker 3:
[22:56] So criminals would come here and be like, well, you got to follow the rules.
Speaker 1:
[22:59] Yeah. Well, they would.
Speaker 3:
[23:01] You're a pig's eye.
Speaker 1:
[23:02] They would pay the cops a bribe, a bribe, and then they'd get a room at the hotel.
Speaker 2:
[23:06] Cool.
Speaker 1:
[23:07] Any criminal who registered with the cops, but still did a crime would be dragged to John's office, and John would scream at them or beat them and kick them out of the city.
Speaker 3:
[23:19] So it doesn't even seem like a bad, like if you did crime, it doesn't seem like a terrible...
Speaker 1:
[23:24] Like if you get kicked out of the city?
Speaker 2:
[23:26] Like if he yells at you, you're like, yeah, all right, cool, see you later.
Speaker 3:
[23:28] It's like a principle.
Speaker 2:
[23:29] You're like, all right, what the?
Speaker 1:
[23:30] But you're kicked out of the city.
Speaker 3:
[23:31] I mean, I murdered two guys.
Speaker 6:
[23:32] I am so disappointed in you.
Speaker 5:
[23:34] That is crazy.
Speaker 3:
[23:36] Two men are dead.
Speaker 5:
[23:37] You promised. Now get out of here, and think about what you've done.
Speaker 1:
[23:44] Quote, if they behave themselves, I left them alone. If they didn't, I got them. Under other administrations, there were as many thieves here as there are now, but they pillaged and robbed. I chose the lesser of two evils.
Speaker 3:
[23:58] Hmm.
Speaker 1:
[24:00] Sure. Maybe you can see the logic in it.
Speaker 3:
[24:02] It's insane. I do see the logic, but yeah. It's like an honor system for the dishonorable, as you know.
Speaker 1:
[24:09] So this lasted over a decade until Reddy died suddenly from a stroke.
Speaker 2:
[24:16] Easy.
Speaker 1:
[24:19] So John had to find another liaison, and he found Dapper Dan Hogan. Dapper Dan was from California and raised by Irish Catholic parents, and he did time in St. Quentin for petty crimes like room prowling.
Speaker 2:
[24:33] Oh.
Speaker 3:
[24:34] Oh. I'm going to get in there and fuck that room. Oh. That's noise, Tazes.
Speaker 1:
[24:42] He moved to St. Paul around 1909 at the height of the O'Connor Layover Agreement. Dapper Dan excelled in the city because he was really good at networking and became the city's largest fence.
Speaker 2:
[24:57] It took me a minute.
Speaker 1:
[24:59] You really thought maybe it was a fence?
Speaker 6:
[25:01] Don't jump.
Speaker 3:
[25:02] Yeah. I mean, you use it slang.
Speaker 1:
[25:09] Well, no, that's what they're back then. What are they called now?
Speaker 6:
[25:14] Thieves. No, it's not a thief.
Speaker 1:
[25:16] Well, it's a guy that thief brings the stuff to to sell. Yeah, the pond. Not a pond. The f**k is a fence is a fence. He's a wall. Criminals drop stolen goods from robberies in other towns at his bar, casino slash social club. The Green Lantern Saloon. Oh, he resell them, give the robber cash and take a cut for himself.
Speaker 5:
[25:42] So the Green Lantern is that crime?
Speaker 6:
[25:45] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[25:46] OK, you can't sell stolen goods. Have you ever heard of selling stolen goods?
Speaker 6:
[25:49] Yeah, but that's a crime. Fuck. I see where you're going.
Speaker 3:
[25:54] We're not doing crime.
Speaker 1:
[25:55] But they have to be able to make money off of the crime.
Speaker 3:
[25:59] So you could bring like contraband, but you couldn't bring you like.
Speaker 1:
[26:02] Well, he's he may maybe would sell it outside of the city limits.
Speaker 3:
[26:05] So you'd just be like, yeah, right over here. OK, what do you got? Here, swim across this river with me with your treasure bag. Oh, a nice tea set.
Speaker 6:
[26:17] Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1:
[26:19] A tea set?
Speaker 3:
[26:21] This is beautiful. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[26:24] So in the world you're envisioning.
Speaker 3:
[26:26] Now, am I are you asking me who are you talking to? Dapper Dan? No, you. Oh, Gareth.
Speaker 1:
[26:33] So Gareth, in the world you're envisioning.
Speaker 3:
[26:35] Hold on. Dan was a fun part to play. Go ahead.
Speaker 1:
[26:41] In the world you're envisioning.
Speaker 3:
[26:42] I was raised by English people.
Speaker 1:
[26:44] Are thieves going out and stealing tea sets? And bringing them for someone to fence?
Speaker 2:
[26:51] Yes. Yeah. Yes, they are.
Speaker 1:
[26:53] How much do you think a tea set?
Speaker 3:
[26:56] I don't know.
Speaker 5:
[26:57] I don't know the prices back then. Two bucks a cup. One for a saucer.
Speaker 1:
[27:04] So how many-
Speaker 3:
[27:04] And if you got a sugar scooper, 50 cents?
Speaker 1:
[27:07] How many tea sets do you think someone needs to steal to get by for a month?
Speaker 3:
[27:11] Oh, God, not a lot. Do they have the kettle? The pot?
Speaker 1:
[27:15] Yeah, it's a whole tea set. They got the pot?
Speaker 3:
[27:17] I mean, two? Two, you'll be over at Bloody Buckets or whatever it's called. Bangin. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[27:25] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[27:25] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[27:27] You know, I think they steal their stuff like-
Speaker 3:
[27:29] Well, they take other stuff.
Speaker 6:
[27:31] But tea sets.
Speaker 1:
[27:33] Tea sets is the main-
Speaker 6:
[27:34] It's awesome.
Speaker 1:
[27:35] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[27:35] I mean, I'm just thinking of the house I was raised in.
Speaker 6:
[27:38] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[27:38] It'd be a big deal.
Speaker 1:
[27:39] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[27:40] Come up with a nice tea set? Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[27:41] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[27:42] Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1:
[27:44] It'd be like that.
Speaker 3:
[27:44] It'd be a big deal.
Speaker 1:
[27:45] It's like you brought me right there.
Speaker 5:
[27:46] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[27:47] Do it again?
Speaker 3:
[27:48] No. I don't care for your attitude. You've been a real jerk off the last two minutes.
Speaker 1:
[27:54] Well, if you brought a tea set, the person would be like, Oh, hello, Governor.
Speaker 3:
[27:58] No.
Speaker 1:
[27:59] Get all excited?
Speaker 6:
[28:01] No.
Speaker 3:
[28:02] I don't say that. It's racist.
Speaker 6:
[28:06] I've been quiet long enough.
Speaker 1:
[28:08] The Green Lantern became the hub of St. Paul crime, which included any local Democratic party bosses who needed a problem taken care of.
Speaker 3:
[28:17] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[28:18] So Dapper Dan was so close to the Dems that whenever the Justice Department tried to prosecute him, they failed, so they'd help him out.
Speaker 3:
[28:25] Sure.
Speaker 6:
[28:26] The Dems.
Speaker 1:
[28:27] In one memo, the Department of Justice described him as, quote, doubtless, one of the most resourceful and keenest criminals in the United States and has always been able to cover his tracks to avoid detection.
Speaker 3:
[28:40] I like that that's an A Justice Department memo until now. Now we got a memo on this fucker.
Speaker 1:
[28:48] Once the Secret Service tried to put him under surveillance, but Dapper Dan turned around and put the Secret Service under better surveillance.
Speaker 3:
[28:54] They were like, wait, what? He's going that way.
Speaker 6:
[28:57] They're going that way.
Speaker 2:
[28:58] Wait, what?
Speaker 3:
[29:02] He's turning right around here.
Speaker 6:
[29:03] He's right over here.
Speaker 3:
[29:04] Here, come with us. They're going right, right over there.
Speaker 2:
[29:07] I just followed Dapper Dan.
Speaker 1:
[29:09] Who the fuck said that? What's happening right now? The hell? It spooked the Secret Service and they stopped the investigation. This guy's freaking me out.
Speaker 3:
[29:18] That's the way to fucking do it. Just have a couple other guys behind. Cool.
Speaker 6:
[29:22] Cool. Move in.
Speaker 3:
[29:23] Move in.
Speaker 6:
[29:26] Sorry, move in.
Speaker 1:
[29:26] Sorry, move in.
Speaker 3:
[29:30] Hold your position.
Speaker 1:
[29:31] Okay, everybody hold.
Speaker 3:
[29:31] What are you doing?
Speaker 1:
[29:32] What are you doing?
Speaker 3:
[29:33] What are you doing? We're in the middle of an investigation.
Speaker 1:
[29:36] I'm in the middle of an investigation.
Speaker 3:
[29:37] Who are you investigating, please?
Speaker 1:
[29:38] Who are you investigating?
Speaker 3:
[29:39] We got a problem over here.
Speaker 1:
[29:40] We got a situation.
Speaker 3:
[29:41] Do you even have anything in your... Do you have anything in your sleeve?
Speaker 1:
[29:45] Yeah. Do you have anything in your sleeve?
Speaker 3:
[29:47] Of course I do. I'm part of the Secret Service. Who are you?
Speaker 1:
[29:50] Not part of the Secret Service.
Speaker 5:
[29:51] Who are you with?
Speaker 1:
[29:52] The Better Secret Service?
Speaker 5:
[29:55] You're not supposed to tell me. It's a huge part of the Secret Service.
Speaker 1:
[29:59] Well, you told me.
Speaker 3:
[30:00] He's got me.
Speaker 1:
[30:01] We're watching him.
Speaker 3:
[30:03] He keeps knocking into his cufflinks, like he's got someone in there.
Speaker 2:
[30:05] I don't think he has anyone.
Speaker 3:
[30:10] Yeah, he just held it up and didn't say anything.
Speaker 1:
[30:14] Hey, what are you guys doing?
Speaker 5:
[30:16] Are you making small talk with your guys?
Speaker 1:
[30:19] Sometimes we do chat.
Speaker 3:
[30:20] No, you shouldn't be doing chat if you're part of a Secret Service. Guys, get over here right now. We got a huge problem.
Speaker 1:
[30:24] Can you get everybody over here right now?
Speaker 5:
[30:26] No, actually, your men will stand down.
Speaker 3:
[30:29] Get over here.
Speaker 1:
[30:31] You guys want to get meatloaf tonight for...
Speaker 3:
[30:34] Hey, why don't we ever talk about what we're doing for dinner? Why should we should...
Speaker 1:
[30:37] Hey, everybody move in right now?
Speaker 3:
[30:39] No, wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:
[30:40] They're confused?
Speaker 3:
[30:40] Yeah, wait, hold on.
Speaker 6:
[30:42] What should we do?
Speaker 3:
[30:43] Meatloaf or something like that?
Speaker 1:
[30:44] They're very confused. This is the time, guys.
Speaker 6:
[30:46] Let's go.
Speaker 3:
[30:46] I'm just saying, let's figure something out for later tonight.
Speaker 1:
[30:50] Mashed potatoes? All right, that sounds good.
Speaker 3:
[30:52] Hey, they're getting mashed potatoes.
Speaker 5:
[30:56] These guys are having a Thanksgiving fucking feast.
Speaker 1:
[30:58] They're such a mess.
Speaker 5:
[30:59] Jesus Christ, where is he?
Speaker 1:
[31:00] The whole psychological game. You guys are right. These guys can't handle it.
Speaker 5:
[31:05] You don't even have anything in your fucking sleeve.
Speaker 1:
[31:08] My whole hand is a microphone.
Speaker 5:
[31:13] What?
Speaker 1:
[31:15] I got advances you didn't even fucking understand.
Speaker 4:
[31:18] You DC twat.
Speaker 1:
[31:19] Welcome to St. Paul, bitch.
Speaker 3:
[31:26] Yeah, he's pandering, and it's working pretty well. It's actually frustrating, because it feels good to get applause, and I haven't gotten that.
Speaker 1:
[31:34] I don't see that happening tonight.
Speaker 3:
[31:36] Pig's eye.
Speaker 1:
[31:40] Still not an applause.
Speaker 3:
[31:41] Some people clapped, it sort of counts.
Speaker 1:
[31:44] You got some woos, some other things.
Speaker 3:
[31:46] There was clapping, there was clapping. So I don't know what you consider applause, but there was some clapping. All right, we got to, I'm getting out of here, but I don't think your, yours was a little louder, but you pandered a little harder. Thank you, all right, I'm getting off everything.
Speaker 1:
[31:59] What the fuck? That was sad to watch you spin out like that.
Speaker 3:
[32:14] That felt pretty bad.
Speaker 1:
[32:21] So, Debra Dan was honorable, he was a peacemaker, and his word was as good as gold. He became the new arbiter of the St. Paul Underworld, who was the best at, quote, keeping the heat out of town.
Speaker 3:
[32:36] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[32:37] Yeah, so very cold.
Speaker 6:
[32:38] Underworld.
Speaker 1:
[32:39] Very cold.
Speaker 3:
[32:40] Vampire.
Speaker 1:
[32:41] Vampires.
Speaker 6:
[32:43] Interesting.
Speaker 1:
[32:44] St. Paul became the Vegas of the Midwest.
Speaker 3:
[32:50] Be thankful you got away from that one.
Speaker 1:
[32:53] That, this is the crazy, when I read this, I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3:
[32:57] Vegas?
Speaker 4:
[32:58] St. Paul, Minnesota?
Speaker 3:
[33:00] Boy, way to go. Way to go. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:
[33:03] They had huge acts like Duke Ellington and Cab Calloway coming all the time.
Speaker 3:
[33:08] Oh my God.
Speaker 1:
[33:11] Bright lights and gambling were on every corner and you could hang out with famous gangsters and feel safe because there was no crime in the city.
Speaker 3:
[33:18] I can't believe people.
Speaker 1:
[33:19] So people were coming.
Speaker 3:
[33:20] People took a time out for, they took a crime out.
Speaker 1:
[33:23] Took a crime out.
Speaker 3:
[33:23] People would show up and just be like, no, not while we're here.
Speaker 1:
[33:26] And then it became a tourist destination because people were like, you want to go hang out with the criminals? And you would just go there to a bar and you'd be hanging out with gangsters.
Speaker 3:
[33:32] Oh my God. You just be like to Al Capone, you'd be like, you fucking suck. You fucking can't do shit.
Speaker 5:
[33:41] I can't believe you did it. Get out of here.
Speaker 1:
[33:43] I was going home anyway.
Speaker 5:
[33:44] All right.
Speaker 1:
[33:45] This is my last day.
Speaker 5:
[33:47] All right. See you later.
Speaker 3:
[33:49] Great to see you, Al.
Speaker 1:
[33:52] John defended his system as fighting, quote, organized crime with organized intelligence.
Speaker 3:
[33:58] Kind of. He's actually doing organized stupid.
Speaker 1:
[34:02] I don't know. I mean, it works for his city.
Speaker 3:
[34:04] It's really weird, though, like every other city must be like, I didn't realize that was an option.
Speaker 5:
[34:08] I mean, we'll welcome any piece of shit.
Speaker 3:
[34:11] Just don't be a piece of shit here.
Speaker 1:
[34:13] I mean, Minneapolis must have been like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3:
[34:16] Yeah, go over there.
Speaker 1:
[34:18] Just just half the people in Minneapolis are murdered.
Speaker 3:
[34:21] It's like the smoking section for crime is a putt.
Speaker 2:
[34:26] Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 5:
[34:27] Give me all your fucking money. Yeah, I'm going to St. Paul. What are you covered in blood? You're from Minneapolis.
Speaker 3:
[34:34] Oh, by all means, my friend. Welcome aboard. Enjoy yourself here in Vegas.
Speaker 1:
[34:40] He said, known crooks who knew they were being watched did not commit crimes, and he was right.
Speaker 3:
[34:47] Well, kind of, but that's like every city to some extent. There's a difference. You've created a place where you're just like, hey, this is where we can be like humans again.
Speaker 6:
[34:58] Can I be honest?
Speaker 3:
[34:58] Sometimes I like to just be in the green room and not be a criminal.
Speaker 1:
[35:02] Yeah.
Speaker 6:
[35:02] You know, it's nice. I hear you. I haven't stabbed a guy since this morning and I feel great.
Speaker 1:
[35:09] I have.
Speaker 2:
[35:09] Okay. Get ready.
Speaker 1:
[35:13] Hey, you guys, they're back. St. Paul became a safe place for ordinary people. An epidemic of burglaries, robberies, holdups and thefts came to an abrupt end. Never in the history of St. Paul has human life and the property of citizens been so safe and the virtue of its women so assured. And that's what matters. The virtue of the ladies.
Speaker 3:
[35:40] It's like a shark tank pitch.
Speaker 5:
[35:43] It's called crime free town.
Speaker 3:
[35:49] It's just, it is the definition of that's crazy enough to work.
Speaker 1:
[35:53] You could pitch this on shark tank and Mr. Fabulous would be like, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3:
[35:59] And we'll just gas them.
Speaker 6:
[36:01] What?
Speaker 1:
[36:02] There you go.
Speaker 6:
[36:03] In perpetuity.
Speaker 1:
[36:06] Local women's clubs disagreed, but John didn't care. Local women's. Local women's clubs disagreed, but John didn't care because they couldn't vote.
Speaker 3:
[36:18] We'll get back to it. We're on our way.
Speaker 1:
[36:23] Quote, let the women attend to their own business in their homes.
Speaker 3:
[36:26] The idea that he's like, there's no crime as long as women don't leave their houses. You see, my metrics are strange.
Speaker 1:
[36:36] John hated the temperance movement. Well, I mean, get in fucking line, which was dominated by women. He thought breweries and beer gardens helped the economy, and major breweries like hams could use protection. You know, like the way the mafia protected businesses.
Speaker 3:
[36:57] So were women even going out?
Speaker 1:
[36:59] I'm sure they were going out.
Speaker 3:
[37:00] They're like in the beer gardens, but they're like, Jesus Christ. And he's like, perfect. A crime-free zone for men.
Speaker 5:
[37:06] We found utopia.
Speaker 1:
[37:08] Most women, a lot of women were in the temperance movement because their husbands came home drunk and spent all their money on booze.
Speaker 3:
[37:15] By the way, that's the best way to start a revolution, to just be like, he's so drunk, he won't remember. Where are you going? I'm going out protesting for my right to vote.
Speaker 5:
[37:24] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[37:26] Oh, this looked like shit. Yeah, we were in bed by ten.
Speaker 5:
[37:29] Oh, cool.
Speaker 1:
[37:32] So John retired in 1920 as Prohibition began, and Prohibition blew up the O'Connor system.
Speaker 3:
[37:40] He left right on time.
Speaker 1:
[37:41] He did.
Speaker 3:
[37:42] He had the perfect run.
Speaker 1:
[37:44] Organized crime rings flooded in, and without John's heavy hand, crime rates immediately shot up. It was so bad that there were seven police chiefs in ten years after John's 20-year term ended.
Speaker 3:
[37:57] Oh, shit.
Speaker 2:
[37:59] This is like a bad GM.
Speaker 4:
[38:00] That's a lot. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3:
[38:02] Sorry.
Speaker 1:
[38:05] My first thought was Manchester United, so I get it. Sometimes big cops didn't know who their bosses were until they showed up for work.
Speaker 4:
[38:15] And they just...
Speaker 1:
[38:15] Who the this guy?
Speaker 5:
[38:16] Hey, how are you? Um, okay. So, there's a lot of shit going on out there.
Speaker 1:
[38:22] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[38:23] Um, just make sure that nobody's pushing. What? And, uh, or what is you're going to say?
Speaker 1:
[38:30] Nothing. Just...
Speaker 5:
[38:31] Yeah. Ha ha ha.
Speaker 1:
[38:34] Are you nine?
Speaker 5:
[38:35] Yeah. I am nine.
Speaker 1:
[38:36] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[38:37] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[38:37] So, all right, the guns, no more. Or unless you...
Speaker 1:
[38:42] We can't have guns.
Speaker 3:
[38:43] Well, no. Or you need them, though.
Speaker 5:
[38:46] Yeah, we got them.
Speaker 3:
[38:48] Oh.
Speaker 1:
[38:51] Have you been at a police jeep before?
Speaker 6:
[38:52] No. Uh-uh.
Speaker 5:
[38:55] Have you? No. Oh, shit. Okay. Handcuffs.
Speaker 3:
[39:00] Let's go from the top.
Speaker 1:
[39:02] What?
Speaker 5:
[39:02] How do they work?
Speaker 1:
[39:03] Oh, Jesus.
Speaker 5:
[39:04] No, no, no. Be honest. What's the best part? Okay. Hold on.
Speaker 1:
[39:09] I usually put one on one bed stand and one on the other.
Speaker 5:
[39:13] No.
Speaker 1:
[39:14] Bring the perps down. I don't do my feet though. My feet all use like a silk.
Speaker 5:
[39:16] No, no, no. Hey, hey. Bring the perps down here.
Speaker 1:
[39:22] Bring the perps down here?
Speaker 5:
[39:23] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[39:24] What does that mean?
Speaker 5:
[39:25] I don't know. It was written on a note card.
Speaker 1:
[39:28] Okay. Hey, how did you get hired?
Speaker 5:
[39:31] My dad. Your dad? Left.
Speaker 1:
[39:34] Your dad was the last police chief?
Speaker 5:
[39:36] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[39:37] But then why are you doing it?
Speaker 5:
[39:38] I miss my dad. What? I'm holding on to a piece of him and nobody else would do it. Hey, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:
[39:48] Oh, here we go.
Speaker 5:
[39:49] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[39:50] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[39:50] You fucking shut up.
Speaker 5:
[39:52] I like this.
Speaker 1:
[39:52] Yeah, all right.
Speaker 5:
[39:53] You're such a, such a bitch.
Speaker 1:
[39:55] Yeah, okay.
Speaker 5:
[39:56] And I hate you. Okay.
Speaker 1:
[39:58] Are you talking to your dad right now?
Speaker 6:
[39:59] Yeah. You just were so bad.
Speaker 1:
[40:04] Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[40:05] You left for Christmas morning.
Speaker 1:
[40:07] Okay.
Speaker 6:
[40:08] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[40:09] Hey, I don't really want to listen to this anymore.
Speaker 3:
[40:11] Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:
[40:12] Why don't you shut the fuck up?
Speaker 3:
[40:13] Let's get our hands in.
Speaker 1:
[40:14] No, we're not getting our hands in.
Speaker 5:
[40:15] Do the handshake.
Speaker 1:
[40:16] I'm thinking about breaking your hand.
Speaker 5:
[40:17] Do the handshake.
Speaker 1:
[40:18] With the Billy Club.
Speaker 5:
[40:19] Yeah. Go Cops.
Speaker 1:
[40:25] Go Cops.
Speaker 5:
[40:29] I just shot eight guys and I ate their brains.
Speaker 1:
[40:33] What the fuck?
Speaker 2:
[40:34] Yeah, we're fucking back, baby.
Speaker 4:
[40:36] That's not back.
Speaker 5:
[40:37] I don't know. Oh, man, this is crazy. Happens super quick.
Speaker 1:
[40:48] Shouldn't you be in school or something?
Speaker 6:
[40:50] Supposed to be, yeah.
Speaker 4:
[40:51] Okay.
Speaker 5:
[40:53] Supposed to be.
Speaker 1:
[40:54] All right. Well, you're not going to make it through the day.
Speaker 5:
[40:56] All right.
Speaker 4:
[40:59] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[41:00] Please don't wipe your nose with your arm.
Speaker 3:
[41:02] I don't have a head key.
Speaker 1:
[41:03] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[41:04] All right. My nose is sore.
Speaker 1:
[41:09] That's because you keep wiping it with your whole fucking arm.
Speaker 3:
[41:11] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[41:11] Like a weirdo.
Speaker 3:
[41:12] It's really red.
Speaker 1:
[41:13] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[41:14] But no, it's snottier.
Speaker 1:
[41:15] Okay. Stop talking.
Speaker 3:
[41:18] Yep.
Speaker 1:
[41:20] For a while, though, the agreement was still upheld thanks to the diplomatic services of Dapper Dan. Yeah. In the winter of 1928, just before 1130 a.m., Dan was just finishing breakfast, and he went to the garage.
Speaker 5:
[41:37] It's a late breakfast.
Speaker 1:
[41:38] And got in his car a page coupe, which, if you just googled, like typical 1920s mobster car, that's what it is.
Speaker 3:
[41:45] Okay. It's got the doors.
Speaker 1:
[41:47] And Dapper Dan had... It's got the doors, yeah.
Speaker 3:
[41:52] Good.
Speaker 1:
[41:53] Well done.
Speaker 3:
[41:54] You're not the only history.
Speaker 1:
[41:55] Yeah, no, you get it. Like, you have, like, in your mind, you see stuff.
Speaker 3:
[41:59] I paint word pictures.
Speaker 1:
[42:00] Yes.
Speaker 3:
[42:01] For those of you listening, pictures... Yeah, a car, but from back then.
Speaker 1:
[42:05] Well done.
Speaker 3:
[42:06] Big old dump tires.
Speaker 1:
[42:07] Yeah, big dump tires.
Speaker 3:
[42:08] Probably a convertible.
Speaker 1:
[42:10] Roof on it.
Speaker 3:
[42:11] Yeah, roof. One wiper. Fucking idiots.
Speaker 1:
[42:14] One, yep.
Speaker 3:
[42:15] Stupid.
Speaker 1:
[42:16] Okay. Tapper Dan had an alarm in the garage in case anyone went in to try and kill him, but...
Speaker 3:
[42:24] I'll be honest, I'm shocked alarms were invented. I know, right? Yeah, it's crazy. What would that even be like? It was probably just a bird. I picture it like the Flintstones. It's an owl. Hard to hear it.
Speaker 1:
[42:40] But he let the batteries, batteries expire on the alarm.
Speaker 3:
[42:45] Police report, this is before it did the annoying beep.
Speaker 1:
[42:48] Yeah. Police report, quote, The force of the blasts rocketed the auto out of Hogan's garage and into the alley. Hogan's right leg was practically blown off. The explosion blew the hood off the car, went through the top of the car, broke all the windows in the car, blew the steering wheel completely off, tore apart the rear end of the engine off, and broke all the windows in the garage.
Speaker 3:
[43:13] Yeah, the car exploded. The car in the garage exploded. And also, the roof was on fire, and the walls burned, and the car.
Speaker 1:
[43:22] That Berdan somehow survived.
Speaker 3:
[43:24] Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:
[43:26] It was one of the first car bombings in the United States.
Speaker 5:
[43:30] People were like, what the fuck happened? Your whole car blew up. What?
Speaker 1:
[43:37] It's pretty cool.
Speaker 6:
[43:38] A bomb?
Speaker 1:
[43:39] Genius. So, gangsters from all over rushed to his aid, begging to give him their blood. What? They wanted to do, they wanted to be like, is there any blood? I got blood. Here's a bucket of it.
Speaker 2:
[43:55] That looks hepatitis-y. Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[43:59] Jack it in.
Speaker 1:
[44:01] At the hospital, Dan was shocked that someone had tried to kill him because everyone loved him. He told friends he didn't know he even had enemies and hundreds jammed phone lines trying to get an update on his condition.
Speaker 3:
[44:14] Wow. That is awesome.
Speaker 1:
[44:16] And then Dapper Dan went into surgery, fell into a coma and died.
Speaker 3:
[44:20] What was he having surgery for?
Speaker 1:
[44:22] Well, his legs off. That's one reason.
Speaker 3:
[44:25] Let it go. The surgeon back then. There we are. Oh boy, he's gone. We are not ready to do stuff like this. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. His legs are the healthiest part, and that little twist of irony that is.
Speaker 1:
[44:43] Should we sew up the hole where the leg was?
Speaker 3:
[44:47] Well, it is lunch. What are we doing for lunch?
Speaker 1:
[44:50] We've got a lot of buckets of...
Speaker 2:
[44:52] Oh, you want to get a...
Speaker 1:
[44:54] We still have leftover meatloaf?
Speaker 3:
[44:55] Yeah, we'll do meatloaf for lunch. That sounds good.
Speaker 1:
[44:57] Okay.
Speaker 6:
[44:57] All right, see you guys later.
Speaker 1:
[44:59] Okay, bye.
Speaker 3:
[44:59] Thank you.
Speaker 1:
[45:01] Dan's last words were, quote, Doc, Doc, you better be good.
Speaker 3:
[45:09] You know what? I liked that before a surgery, putting the pressure on the doctor. If I don't wake up, I'll kill you. You better be good. He was like, well, that was shit. That's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 6:
[45:22] Oh shit.
Speaker 5:
[45:24] He shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 1:
[45:27] I shouldn't have used the hammer.
Speaker 3:
[45:30] Let's just hammer that leg off and then we'll get out of here. Dapper Dan Hogan dies of bomb.
Speaker 5:
[45:38] I don't think that's fair.
Speaker 3:
[45:40] That doesn't even put the surgeon on the hook at all.
Speaker 1:
[45:42] Well, he did die of bomb.
Speaker 3:
[45:43] No, he didn't.
Speaker 5:
[45:43] He had a fucking leg. He had a leg in the surgeon.
Speaker 3:
[45:46] He was like, he said something to the surgeon.
Speaker 1:
[45:48] The leg came up. Yeah, but he still died of the wounds from the bombing.
Speaker 3:
[45:51] No, he died from a bad surgeon.
Speaker 1:
[45:53] What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:
[45:54] What are you? This is crazy.
Speaker 1:
[45:56] He was blown into pieces and they were trying to get him to live and he didn't live.
Speaker 3:
[45:59] He said something to the surgeon.
Speaker 1:
[46:01] If you get hit by a car.
Speaker 3:
[46:03] If you could talk to the surgeon, I better come out. If I could have a sense of humor before I go under, you better fuck.
Speaker 1:
[46:11] That is absolutely the craziest understanding. Of, you do not ever work in an ER, my God. You're out of your fucking mind.
Speaker 3:
[46:21] I will. And I'll show you.
Speaker 5:
[46:24] You?
Speaker 3:
[46:25] Yeah, me in an ER.
Speaker 1:
[46:26] What do you mean he's dead?
Speaker 4:
[46:27] He said a word before he went in there.
Speaker 5:
[46:29] Not a word.
Speaker 1:
[46:31] He said a word.
Speaker 3:
[46:32] He had thought. No.
Speaker 1:
[46:33] My husband can't be dead. The last thing he said was, I'll see you in Hawaii.
Speaker 5:
[46:39] And now he's gone.
Speaker 3:
[46:41] No. He said, I'll see you in Hawaii. That man is not ready to live. He said, Doc, you better be good. It was pointed.
Speaker 1:
[46:51] But you could be bleeding out and say that.
Speaker 3:
[46:53] Well, that's different. Hey, Doc, you better be... Not to mention you have to time it with like the anesthetic properly. You got to get it out like...
Speaker 1:
[47:07] There's a lot of things.
Speaker 3:
[47:07] Ten, nine, Doc, you better be good.
Speaker 1:
[47:09] I'm sure that there were, you know, in the Civil War, a doctor pulled out a saw and the guy was like, you better be good.
Speaker 3:
[47:15] Civil War? He's awake for that. Doc, you better be good. Ow, you're not. Ow, you're not. Ow, you're not.
Speaker 5:
[47:25] Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:
[47:25] Ow, you're not. Oh, my God. What the fuck?
Speaker 5:
[47:27] Is this really necessary?
Speaker 1:
[47:32] Plus, there's all those movies when like someone just like a bad guy punches into a chest and pulls out the guy's heart.
Speaker 5:
[47:37] All those movies? That's one movie.
Speaker 1:
[47:39] The guy says a line like-
Speaker 5:
[47:40] Although, that's not a trope.
Speaker 1:
[47:41] The guy says a line, he's like, oh, no.
Speaker 3:
[47:45] I love your movie trope when a guy takes another guy's heart out.
Speaker 5:
[47:49] Literally one movie.
Speaker 1:
[47:52] Like when a guy gets cut in half by a blade and he's like, oh, dear, and then he slides in half.
Speaker 6:
[47:58] No, that's different.
Speaker 2:
[48:00] That's different. I will concede.
Speaker 1:
[48:03] And they actually do that to the actor.
Speaker 3:
[48:06] That's true.
Speaker 2:
[48:06] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[48:06] Another commitment. No, one of the hardest lines to deliver in any comedy is like, if you get hit on the head and like your comedic line before you pass out, it's like a miss all the time.
Speaker 1:
[48:16] Always.
Speaker 3:
[48:17] Doc, you better be good. That wouldn't be funny.
Speaker 2:
[48:19] No. Okay.
Speaker 4:
[48:22] The Dollop is brought to you by Nutriful.
Speaker 1:
[48:27] Nutriful, of course, a hair growth supplement. Nutriful is now offering hair growth supplements tailored to men of every age because the root causes of hair thinning changes over time. And Gareth, your routine should also.
Speaker 4:
[48:40] Yours did.
Speaker 1:
[48:41] What did you start taking, Gareth?
Speaker 3:
[48:43] Nutriful.
Speaker 1:
[48:44] You took Nutriful.
Speaker 4:
[48:45] And what did I start taking?
Speaker 3:
[48:46] I wasn't prepared for this. It's an aggressive.
Speaker 1:
[48:49] See my hair?
Speaker 4:
[48:50] Nutriful, Gareth.
Speaker 1:
[48:51] I shaved my head.
Speaker 4:
[48:52] Now it's grown back. It is. It is Nutriful. And I don't.
Speaker 3:
[48:56] You know what I mean? I said that. It's full.
Speaker 1:
[48:59] It's full of the new nutures.
Speaker 3:
[49:00] No, no, that's my that's my tag.
Speaker 4:
[49:03] I just I just came up with that right now.
Speaker 1:
[49:05] You said you didn't like is that we both use it. People both comment on our hair. I get comments and shows about my hair. People. Some people say I'm getting yelled at about it.
Speaker 3:
[49:15] I'm on the I'm on the streets and people are screaming, screaming, screaming at me.
Speaker 1:
[49:21] My hairdresser said something. So Nutriful, we've been using it for a while.
Speaker 4:
[49:25] And Gareth's hair looks wonderful.
Speaker 1:
[49:27] Nutriful for men aged 14 to 49 to help improve hair growth and achieve thicker, fuller hair in three to six months. And new Nutriful Men 50 Plus, the first and only hair growth product specifically formulated for men. 50 Plus Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people.
Speaker 3:
[49:50] Dave, you don't have to change your root in, but get your hair Nutriful.
Speaker 4:
[49:58] I feel like me saying Nutriful was better. And also you can feel great about what you're putting into your body since Nutriful is backed by peer-reviewed studies and NSF content certify, which is the gold standard, a third-party certification.
Speaker 1:
[50:14] We recommend it.
Speaker 4:
[50:15] So start Nutriful today and make the hat optional.
Speaker 1:
[50:19] Visit nutriful.com and enter promo code the dollop for $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. Find out why Nutriful is the best-selling hair grow supplement brand at nutriful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L. Promo code the dollop. That's nutriful.com promo code the dollop.
Speaker 4:
[50:36] You have a hat on.
Speaker 6:
[50:39] I just took it off to show off.
Speaker 4:
[50:41] Gareth, the dollop is also brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform.
Speaker 3:
[50:49] Name a better, name a better brand partnership than the dollop and Squarespace. I dare you.
Speaker 1:
[50:55] It doesn't exist, Reynolds.
Speaker 3:
[50:56] It doesn't exist. We've been doing it. We love them. We've been working with them forever. Why, Dave? Because it's the only place. You want to get in the business.
Speaker 4:
[51:03] This is it.
Speaker 3:
[51:04] You want to do your thing. You want to show off what you have. Squarespace.
Speaker 4:
[51:07] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[51:08] SEO tools, search engine optimization. They're going to help you come up with your domain. They're going to help you build your website, your merch, all that stuff.
Speaker 5:
[51:16] We had the merch on our site at one point.
Speaker 3:
[51:18] Not anymore. That's not on there.
Speaker 1:
[51:20] OK, well now it's getting personal and weird, but listen. It's super easy to use. The templates look great.
Speaker 4:
[51:26] That's why I started using. I started using Squarespace before I started doing ads with Squarespace.
Speaker 1:
[51:32] It is just super easy to use.
Speaker 3:
[51:34] I used them before they were a company.
Speaker 4:
[51:36] Yeah, that was the time.
Speaker 1:
[51:38] So yeah, so Squarespace gives everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Here's what we're saying.
Speaker 4:
[51:54] And by the way, all of our websites are with Squarespace, everyone.
Speaker 3:
[51:57] Oh, that's not a joke. We love jokes. That's not a joke.
Speaker 1:
[52:03] So check out squarespace.com/dollop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com/dollop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So weird. You used to have songs, I guess not anymore.
Speaker 4:
[52:23] Gareth, the dollop is also brought to you by...
Speaker 3:
[52:28] I don't think that one had one. By the way, this one has a song.
Speaker 1:
[52:32] By Rocket Money.
Speaker 3:
[52:34] Buddy.
Speaker 4:
[52:35] Gareth, we've been using Rocket Money for a while now.
Speaker 3:
[52:39] Just talking to a friend and an associate the other day about Rocket Money.
Speaker 4:
[52:43] Were you?
Speaker 3:
[52:44] And they were saying, they don't know what took them so long. They're saving money. It pays for itself, Dave.
Speaker 1:
[52:52] Yeah. So Rocket Money helps you save that sweet, sweet cash. They track your subscriptions, right? You go in, you put your information in, and then they're like, this is all the stuff you're spending money on, you crazy loon.
Speaker 4:
[53:05] And I go, what? I didn't know I had a toenail subscription to get toenails every month. Why do I have that?
Speaker 3:
[53:12] Who's toenails?
Speaker 4:
[53:13] I don't know.
Speaker 1:
[53:14] They just, it's a toenail of the month thing. So, but I forgot that I had it. And Rocket Money sends you a little thing on your app and it says, hey, do you know that you have a subscription date coming up for toenails.com? And I hit a button and it just goes, we're going to get rid of that for you.
Speaker 3:
[53:32] I'm on toenails.com right now and I'm not lying. It's not a website. So, someone should get moving because that could be good.
Speaker 1:
[53:43] But Gareth and I have both found several, at this point, several subscriptions that we forgot about.
Speaker 5:
[53:49] I can't believe that's available.
Speaker 1:
[53:50] And also, I keep signing up for things and forgetting about them.
Speaker 3:
[53:56] Happens all the time.
Speaker 1:
[53:57] Meraga Money goes, hey man, this one's coming up again and it's just saving me.
Speaker 3:
[54:00] Listen, in the way that we now try to navigate how we watch things or how we buy things, there needs to be a stopgap to tell you, hey, just so you know, this is going to charge you another $50 in a minute. And then you're like, my God.
Speaker 1:
[54:14] And it also helps you from overspending money. It'll be like, hey, you're spending this much on this, like that kind of stuff. And then they renegotiated my internet and saved me like 300 bucks a year. So Rocket Money saves you money a bunch of different ways.
Speaker 3:
[54:26] They reunited me with my daughter.
Speaker 1:
[54:27] Reunited you with your daughter, which you don't have, which is the weird thing.
Speaker 3:
[54:31] I know, it's crazy. The reunion thing was crazy.
Speaker 1:
[54:39] So, but seriously, if you do want to save money, we cannot recommend Rocket Money enough.
Speaker 4:
[54:43] We have both saved a lot of money using Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings.
Speaker 1:
[54:55] Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster.
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Speaker 3:
[55:07] Let's cue the jingle. Rocket Money, Rocket Money, Rocket Money, go ahead and save yourself some boom, boom, boom, pocket money.
Speaker 4:
[55:17] tonos.com is a new sponsor.
Speaker 3:
[55:21] I don't want to work with them.
Speaker 1:
[55:25] Historians believe the killer was likely Dapper Dan's protege, Harry Sawyer. He had wanted the Green Lantern and he wanted to be top gangster.
Speaker 3:
[55:39] It's so hard to hear that and not think of a bad guy in a Marvel movie. He wanted the Green Lantern and he'd do anything to have him.
Speaker 1:
[55:47] And Dan had fucked Harry over. He owed Harry half a million dollars he had put up to get Dan out of prison and also $700,000 from a gambling operation.
Speaker 3:
[55:58] Back then money?
Speaker 5:
[55:58] Yeah. Oh, boy.
Speaker 3:
[56:01] Back then bucks.
Speaker 1:
[56:02] Before surgery, Dan told his wife to go to the Green Lantern and take all the money they had out of the safe.
Speaker 3:
[56:08] This man should have survived.
Speaker 5:
[56:11] He gave his wife logistical plans.
Speaker 1:
[56:14] You have the craziest idea.
Speaker 3:
[56:15] You're out of your fucking mind.
Speaker 1:
[56:17] Oh my God.
Speaker 5:
[56:18] He was talking to you.
Speaker 2:
[56:19] You're a lunatic.
Speaker 3:
[56:20] Honey, honey, honey, honey, under the floorboards there's a budget.
Speaker 2:
[56:23] Go there and then you're going to go.
Speaker 3:
[56:24] You'll find some keys that go to the Green Lantern. I'm 100% I'm going to live. Look at how cognitive I am. It's a fucking leg.
Speaker 1:
[56:31] Have you ever heard of when someone gets trapped between the subway and the subway platform and their body twists around?
Speaker 3:
[56:38] That's not what he had.
Speaker 1:
[56:38] Then they bring down their family and they like say goodbye and stuff and then they move the car and all of their body falls out?
Speaker 3:
[56:44] By the way.
Speaker 1:
[56:44] Same deal.
Speaker 3:
[56:45] Way different. By the way, if I was in that situation, I'm insisting on them never moving me and I want my family to move down at that subway car. We will live here.
Speaker 5:
[56:53] We will rebuild our lives down here.
Speaker 3:
[56:56] I will never be untwisted. Now come, give your husband a kiss. Here we go.
Speaker 6:
[57:07] I'm fine.
Speaker 3:
[57:09] How was school, Junior?
Speaker 6:
[57:12] I'm fine. Happy anniversary. I love you so much.
Speaker 1:
[57:20] Gareth Reynolds is doing his new stand-up special. I'm on the platform.
Speaker 3:
[57:24] No, we're closing. The platform closed.
Speaker 1:
[57:29] No, let me do my last special first.
Speaker 6:
[57:31] Twisted comedy.
Speaker 5:
[57:33] I'm doing my special like that.
Speaker 3:
[57:35] You guys ever noticed how awesome it is to have oxygen?
Speaker 6:
[57:41] This is tough.
Speaker 3:
[57:44] Hey, who hates the subway?
Speaker 2:
[57:47] How bad is the subway become?
Speaker 3:
[57:50] These fucking trade, they don't tell you when they're coming. You know what I mean.
Speaker 5:
[57:58] That's the show.
Speaker 3:
[57:59] You guys have to leave.
Speaker 1:
[58:00] You know, you get out the subway car.
Speaker 5:
[58:01] Good night, you guys have to go.
Speaker 1:
[58:03] You know, you get out the subway car, and you don't know which way is fifth street and which way is sixth, and you get all twisted around.
Speaker 3:
[58:09] I'm the only guy when I'm like, look, I look that way, and the train's coming from the other way, and then I have to move down here and do a special.
Speaker 5:
[58:15] How crazy is that?
Speaker 3:
[58:19] I think we're enjoying the show more than anybody.
Speaker 1:
[58:22] I know. I really want to make this movie now.
Speaker 3:
[58:25] I want to too, yeah. He just rebuilds, blowing out birthday candles. Oh, thank you. You do it.
Speaker 4:
[58:34] He's trying to date.
Speaker 3:
[58:36] So, have you ever thought about living in a subway?
Speaker 2:
[58:40] Have you ever seen yourself living in a subway, maybe?
Speaker 3:
[58:43] How important is sex to you?
Speaker 1:
[58:45] Are you into oral? I'm looking for like a pillow princess type lady.
Speaker 3:
[58:50] No, they'll lower you down on a series of cables.
Speaker 5:
[58:54] We've got it all planned out.
Speaker 3:
[58:55] What do you weigh? About a buck eighty?
Speaker 5:
[58:57] Buck twenty?
Speaker 3:
[58:57] I'm sorry. I haven't seen a woman in a while. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5:
[59:00] I should have.
Speaker 3:
[59:01] I never guess a woman's weight. How old are you?
Speaker 5:
[59:03] Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[59:03] Another faux pas. Can you tell I haven't been on Tinder for a while?
Speaker 2:
[59:08] Oh my God.
Speaker 3:
[59:10] I'm having the best time with you. Really? Yeah. More wine? I can't.
Speaker 6:
[59:15] Goes right through me.
Speaker 3:
[59:16] As you can see. Here, catch it.
Speaker 6:
[59:20] Finish.
Speaker 3:
[59:21] It's called a bucket of blood. That's what we're dealing with and. Stop living down there, 30 years.
Speaker 1:
[59:37] Oh, God, I can tell you, it gets a little boring down here. People stop visiting me after 10 years. Once they shut down the platform, it's like nobody comes by.
Speaker 3:
[59:50] It's become a bit strange.
Speaker 5:
[59:52] It's like, shut up!
Speaker 3:
[59:55] I fucking hate New York. This is brutal.
Speaker 1:
[60:01] So where was I before all that happened? Okay, so she goes to the Green Lantern to look for the money in the deposit, in the safe, basically. But when she gets there, it's empty. And the only other person on the key was Harry Sawyer. So he clearly killed them. By the 1930s, the O'Connor system had completely backfired, and the city was known across the US as a place where killers, bank robbers and general fiends were not only safe, but welcome.
Speaker 3:
[60:35] So now they could come there and just commit crime.
Speaker 1:
[60:37] Do whatever they want.
Speaker 3:
[60:37] Yeah, so they lost the charm of the town is gone.
Speaker 1:
[60:41] Fortune magazine called it, quote, the best place in America to hire a hit man.
Speaker 2:
[60:45] What the fuck is for?
Speaker 3:
[60:48] Have we ever needed Fortune magazine? Has it ever been valuable? It's just like, here's the best place to kill people.
Speaker 6:
[60:56] Here are the top 500 businesses.
Speaker 1:
[61:00] The gangsters were beloved by the people because they targeted wealthy robber barons who created. The Great Depression and ruined ordinary folks' lives.
Speaker 3:
[61:15] I'm starting to see a reason.
Speaker 1:
[61:18] Many were delighted to greet them in St. Paul. Machine Gun Kelly brought Miss Gun Kelly.
Speaker 3:
[61:26] Oh, this is a different one.
Speaker 1:
[61:28] She chatted around town to inflate Mr. Gun Kelly's rep.
Speaker 2:
[61:33] Thanks for having respect.
Speaker 1:
[61:35] I do, I'm not gonna...
Speaker 3:
[61:36] Mr. Gun Kelly?
Speaker 1:
[61:38] Mr. Gun Kelly's rep while he bragged about bank robbers while drinking a huge glass of milk in speakeasies.
Speaker 3:
[61:46] By the way, that is the number one beverage to drink and not get fucked with. I'd be like, you know what, you're good.
Speaker 1:
[61:51] That guy's fucking crazy.
Speaker 3:
[61:52] Hell's going on over there.
Speaker 1:
[61:54] You bring in the whole cow and I'll just suck on that.
Speaker 3:
[61:56] Have a good life.
Speaker 1:
[62:00] Abe the Twist, no, Abe Kid Twist, Rells.
Speaker 3:
[62:04] Oh, that's the subway car guy, Kid Twist. How you doing? Man, my hands are set, my hands can't separate. Can you believe that? That's crazy.
Speaker 2:
[62:14] How are you?
Speaker 3:
[62:16] Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:
[62:17] I got a fourth butt cheek.
Speaker 3:
[62:18] What's normal?
Speaker 2:
[62:19] How are you?
Speaker 3:
[62:20] Tell you what, imagine being married to this lugger nuts. She's a very lucky lady.
Speaker 1:
[62:27] Kid Twist was a hit man with Murder Incorporated. He used an ice pick in the ear because, quote, you don't hear nothing, you don't see nothing. He just goes to sleep.
Speaker 3:
[62:35] Well, tell you who hears something.
Speaker 6:
[62:39] The ice picked guy.
Speaker 3:
[62:41] The last thing he hears is pretty devastating. It's so funny to look at this guy looks like a great, like a grandpa. Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1:
[62:49] Where are my kids?
Speaker 6:
[62:50] You put it through their brain and out.
Speaker 2:
[62:51] That's boom, boom, bang, boom, boom.
Speaker 1:
[62:53] You want to see me kill a four year old? Come here, guys. A cop said kid Twist could, quote, kill a guy like he was opening a bottle of seltzer. OK. I mean, you got to use it. You know, not everyone's good at it.
Speaker 3:
[63:11] The translations back then.
Speaker 1:
[63:13] What do you mean?
Speaker 3:
[63:14] It's right. He could kill a guy like he built a pool in his property. What's going on? You wouldn't hear him coming like a screaming hang glider.
Speaker 1:
[63:23] What?
Speaker 3:
[63:24] A hang glider who's screaming. You ain't going to hear that.
Speaker 1:
[63:26] The hang glider itself was screaming or the guy on the hang glider?
Speaker 3:
[63:29] The guy on it.
Speaker 1:
[63:29] Screaming.
Speaker 3:
[63:30] Yelling.
Speaker 1:
[63:32] So you can hear him really coming like...
Speaker 3:
[63:34] No, not from that altitude.
Speaker 1:
[63:37] Yeah, but you still hear it.
Speaker 3:
[63:38] Yeah, look.
Speaker 1:
[63:39] Not quiet.
Speaker 3:
[63:41] He's tougher than a bad golf swing.
Speaker 1:
[63:48] Are you saying that a bad golf swing is an indication that someone's tough?
Speaker 2:
[63:53] Well, they're going right, they're bringing up a lot of dirt.
Speaker 3:
[63:56] They got to put those little patches back down.
Speaker 6:
[63:58] Toughs the dirt. No.
Speaker 3:
[64:04] He's got more echo than a forest with no trees.
Speaker 6:
[64:07] What?
Speaker 3:
[64:09] Exactly.
Speaker 1:
[64:10] It's not, okay.
Speaker 2:
[64:12] He's more nearsighted than a frog with a bifocal.
Speaker 1:
[64:18] Why would?
Speaker 2:
[64:19] Exactly. That's my point to you.
Speaker 1:
[64:22] I'm just going to agree with you.
Speaker 3:
[64:23] Yeah, that's my point to you. You understand?
Speaker 1:
[64:24] That one really nailed it, that one. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:
[64:26] Oh, yeah. I nailed that one harder than I did a tool box with a bunch of rust on it that a kid took from his dad's shed and he wasn't supposed to. And his dad found out.
Speaker 5:
[64:35] He said that he had a long chat with him.
Speaker 3:
[64:36] And he's like, don't worry about it. I know you want to be me, but you can't take my tools.
Speaker 1:
[64:47] Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 3:
[64:49] Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:
[64:50] Thanks for clearing that up. Don't you fucking say another word. Say another fucking word.
Speaker 3:
[64:55] He's more tired than a limousine with 18 flats.
Speaker 1:
[65:01] No, no, that's not...
Speaker 3:
[65:02] I got to try to clear myself. My neck is so... Give me that hot tour.
Speaker 1:
[65:11] Nope.
Speaker 3:
[65:41] What the hell is going on? This is a very strange moment.
Speaker 1:
[65:46] Kid Twist hung in lounges, taking, talking of his hits, while eating a sandwich, miming kills using a pickle as an ice pick.
Speaker 5:
[65:54] What the fuck? He had an ice pickle?
Speaker 1:
[65:58] Get that fucking pickle out of my ear, you asshole.
Speaker 3:
[66:01] There you go.
Speaker 6:
[66:02] And then it went through his brain.
Speaker 5:
[66:03] That's a dill, bitch.
Speaker 3:
[66:05] There you go.
Speaker 1:
[66:08] Edna Murray was called Rabbit's Murray for escaping prison three times by hopping a fence.
Speaker 5:
[66:21] Not that fence.
Speaker 3:
[66:23] It was such a great time when it was just like, I'll go over the fence.
Speaker 2:
[66:27] How did she get out of here?
Speaker 5:
[66:29] Gosh, what a guy. We got to build something higher than two feet. That rabbit lady jumped right over it.
Speaker 1:
[66:37] She was also called the Kissing Bandit for standing in the middle of a road to stop a big rig. And then she'd get in the cab and make out with the driver while her gang stole the loot in back.
Speaker 3:
[66:52] It's an absolute shock, the length of time men have had the power. Like, the most simple, dumbest fucks. Well, I can't believe a woman wants to come up to the front of the cab and make out with me. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:
[67:08] Holy shit, this is my fantasy.
Speaker 3:
[67:11] Holy shit, everything's gone.
Speaker 1:
[67:12] Dear Penthouse, fuck, I got robbed.
Speaker 3:
[67:20] Dear Penthouse, I never thought I'd be writing one of these. They took everything. My real wife left me.
Speaker 1:
[67:28] John Dilliger was the most famous. He was like a Robin Hood type. He only robbed banks that were FDIC insured and ripped up mortgages. Bring it back. Bring it back.
Speaker 3:
[67:42] Yeah, but now ripping them up now, people will be like, cool, we have those on computers.
Speaker 1:
[67:46] So that's why you hack it and get rid of it. He wants to escape jail using a gun carved out of wood and blackened it with shoe polish.
Speaker 3:
[67:55] That guy, that guard was an idiot. Holy shit.
Speaker 5:
[68:00] John, where did you get a pistol like that? It's so shiny with some spots that are kind of white and woody.
Speaker 1:
[68:07] Yeah, it's new.
Speaker 3:
[68:08] Who makes that gun?
Speaker 1:
[68:10] Smith and Smith.
Speaker 5:
[68:11] Smith and Smith.
Speaker 3:
[68:13] Hey, we don't want no trouble, John.
Speaker 5:
[68:15] By the way, you have black shoe polish all over both of your hands. We don't want no trouble, John.
Speaker 1:
[68:20] I was fixing my shoes.
Speaker 5:
[68:22] You mean those are disco shoes.
Speaker 1:
[68:24] Well, but I also was doing some black leg stuff.
Speaker 6:
[68:28] Oh, well, say no more.
Speaker 3:
[68:31] We know that that's true.
Speaker 1:
[68:32] Can I go?
Speaker 3:
[68:33] Absolutely.
Speaker 2:
[68:35] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[68:35] See, I tell you what. He was out of here faster than a robot without wires.
Speaker 4:
[68:43] Without wives?
Speaker 3:
[68:44] Wires.
Speaker 2:
[68:46] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[68:46] You believe that? No.
Speaker 2:
[68:49] Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:
[68:52] He wants to...
Speaker 3:
[68:52] He did more...
Speaker 1:
[68:57] In St. Paul, he tipped bartenders $100.
Speaker 3:
[69:01] Great.
Speaker 1:
[69:02] He made a deal for the cops to tip him off if the FBI was ever coming for him.
Speaker 2:
[69:09] Great.
Speaker 1:
[69:10] But once the feds were able to raid his apartment and he shot his way out, at that exact moment, a grand jury was exonerating the St. Paul Police Department, saying there was, quote, no justification for any charges that an excess of crime exists here.
Speaker 3:
[69:29] It's great.
Speaker 2:
[69:30] All right.
Speaker 3:
[69:30] What should we do for lunch? Every police officer is gone. What? The feds are gone.
Speaker 1:
[69:38] Bootlegger Leon Gleckman, the Al Capone of St. Paul. Paul Capone was so powerful that he installed the police chief, Big Tom Brown, who was 6'5.
Speaker 2:
[69:51] Oh, shit.
Speaker 1:
[69:53] Brown had been on the Purity Squad, which was a unit to shut down.
Speaker 5:
[69:58] You're not, are you?
Speaker 2:
[70:00] Nobody's fucking, are they?
Speaker 3:
[70:02] I'm unfuckable, and so are you all. If no one will fuck me, you can't fuck. Do you understand?
Speaker 5:
[70:09] Nobody fucks.
Speaker 6:
[70:11] Shut up.
Speaker 5:
[70:12] Unless someone wants to fuck me, no, then nobody will all be virgins.
Speaker 4:
[70:18] That's basically the entire...
Speaker 5:
[70:19] Forever.
Speaker 1:
[70:20] That's basically the entire right wing.
Speaker 3:
[70:21] Forever. There's a difference.
Speaker 1:
[70:25] Yeah. Now, the Purity Squad was a unit to shut down Speakeasy, but they never found any. I don't know.
Speaker 3:
[70:35] You swear to God you just have a bunch of gin bottles here and you're not... That's right. 100%. Good to see you, though. You have mascara on your eyes still. I had a show last night.
Speaker 1:
[70:47] Now, the O'Connor Layover system had also worked due to the weakness of the FBI. Before 1934, the FBI couldn't carry guns or make arrests. They relied on local cops to execute warrants.
Speaker 3:
[70:57] Not being able to make arrests is a great...
Speaker 1:
[70:59] It's amazing.
Speaker 3:
[71:01] Excuse me, officer. He's doing bad stuff.
Speaker 1:
[71:04] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[71:04] I'm part of the FBI. Go get him.
Speaker 5:
[71:07] Come on. Please.
Speaker 3:
[71:09] We got it. We got everything we need. We got a wiretap on him.
Speaker 1:
[71:12] Okay.
Speaker 6:
[71:13] He's doing bad stuff.
Speaker 5:
[71:14] Please. Mr. Officer.
Speaker 1:
[71:16] Let me finish my orange juice. Sometimes it will take me like a day.
Speaker 5:
[71:23] It's a crazy length of time.
Speaker 6:
[71:26] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[71:28] What'd you say? Who are you with?
Speaker 5:
[71:30] The FBI.
Speaker 3:
[71:31] I don't know who that is.
Speaker 5:
[71:32] The feds. Okay.
Speaker 3:
[71:36] We wear suits. Yeah.
Speaker 5:
[71:38] The badges.
Speaker 4:
[71:39] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[71:40] You got little things there. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming by. Why don't you go get them yourself?
Speaker 4:
[71:46] I can't. Oh.
Speaker 1:
[71:48] That's really sad.
Speaker 3:
[71:50] No.
Speaker 1:
[71:50] It's way better. It sounds like your job fucking sucks, huh?
Speaker 3:
[71:54] We'll show you.
Speaker 1:
[71:56] Oh, will you?
Speaker 3:
[71:56] We'll ruin everything.
Speaker 1:
[71:59] What?
Speaker 3:
[71:59] We're going to kill everybody who would start a revolution. You'll see.
Speaker 1:
[72:04] Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:
[72:05] You've got that blood on your hands.
Speaker 6:
[72:07] Oh, my God. Smoke bomb.
Speaker 1:
[72:14] If the FBI wanted to raid, the cops had to comply. But the police had a policy to call and warn the criminals.
Speaker 3:
[72:24] Again, it's so hard to not find this system better. Obviously, you don't want crime, but you're like, yeah, but let's take our chances, honestly.
Speaker 1:
[72:38] Brad made sure all his gangster pals made it out untouched. But those who wronged Brown didn't. For instance, ex-ally Homer Van Meter. A bunch of cops ambushed Van Meter in broad daylight and filled them with holes, stole his money, took his car, which they then turned into a cop car. Anyway, don't fuck with me. In 1933, prohibition was repealed and bootleggers needed to make money. And there was only so many banks they could rob. In 1932, one of every five bank robberies in the US took place in Minnesota.
Speaker 3:
[73:19] Wow. That's pretty awesome.
Speaker 1:
[73:25] So the big fish turned to kidnapping, and one gang took the lead.
Speaker 3:
[73:30] That'd be so hard to be like, yeah, we're worried. So we've actually, we've transitioned as well as we can. We're kidnappers now.
Speaker 1:
[73:36] Oh shit.
Speaker 5:
[73:36] We take people.
Speaker 1:
[73:37] Okay.
Speaker 5:
[73:38] Yeah, see you later.
Speaker 1:
[73:39] All right, bye.
Speaker 2:
[73:39] Actually, you piece of shit.
Speaker 1:
[73:41] Get in here, Arizona. Donny Clark, aka Ma Barker.
Speaker 5:
[73:49] Whoa.
Speaker 1:
[73:51] She was from Missouri and she married a loser named George Barker and they had four kids, Fred, Doc, Herman and Lloyd.
Speaker 5:
[73:59] Who named them?
Speaker 1:
[74:01] Most of them, if not all, were illiterate. One was just fucking stupid.
Speaker 5:
[74:07] Well, I am facing forward. Herman, forward for me. To the camera.
Speaker 3:
[74:16] What is the camera?
Speaker 2:
[74:17] The thing I'm holding.
Speaker 5:
[74:20] Cheese.
Speaker 6:
[74:23] Fucking moron.
Speaker 5:
[74:25] Hi, Wall.
Speaker 3:
[74:26] I knew I shouldn't have done pushups when I was having you. Oh.
Speaker 1:
[74:33] She raised the boys in Tulsa.
Speaker 3:
[74:35] On gel.
Speaker 1:
[74:36] She raised the boys in Tulsa in a dirt floor shack with no windows or door.
Speaker 5:
[74:42] Beautiful. What the?
Speaker 1:
[74:44] How do they get out?
Speaker 3:
[74:46] Dirt floor? No door is not a real detail.
Speaker 1:
[74:50] No, it's just an open fucking thing.
Speaker 3:
[74:52] Well, this is it forever.
Speaker 5:
[74:55] How do we get out?
Speaker 3:
[74:56] Get out where? Good point. Popping out kids into dirt? Oh dear, he's very dusty.
Speaker 1:
[75:08] So, miserable poverty. So, Ma opened a sort of...
Speaker 2:
[75:11] A door, a window.
Speaker 1:
[75:13] A sort of school for criminals, helping local boys with bank robberies and other crimes. And her son's crimes escalated until Herman, who was the idiot, shot...
Speaker 3:
[75:27] Called that. I can tell who the run of that letter is.
Speaker 1:
[75:32] Shot a cop in the head, then ran over a child and then killed himself.
Speaker 5:
[75:40] Herman, Herman.
Speaker 6:
[75:41] Oops, I've done it again.
Speaker 3:
[75:44] Herman.
Speaker 1:
[75:45] I've done it again, Ma. I shot myself.
Speaker 3:
[75:51] Herman. Herman.
Speaker 1:
[75:54] Mama.
Speaker 3:
[75:54] Idiot. Yeah. Well, I tell you to face the music, but you don't know which way to go.
Speaker 4:
[76:01] I like to look at the wall.
Speaker 6:
[76:04] Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3:
[76:06] To be the stupidest one in this family is really saying something. Look at Lloyd.
Speaker 1:
[76:09] He's dumb.
Speaker 3:
[76:14] I think you died.
Speaker 1:
[76:16] Yeah, but I never stopped.
Speaker 3:
[76:18] I can't believe there's a ghost.
Speaker 2:
[76:20] I'm a dumb ghost.
Speaker 6:
[76:22] I'm a dumb ghost.
Speaker 3:
[76:23] Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:
[76:24] I'm a dumb ghost. I'm a dumb ghost. I'm a dumb ghost.
Speaker 6:
[76:30] I'm a dumb ghost.
Speaker 1:
[76:32] I'm a dumb ghost. I'm a dumb ghost. In 1930, Ma married another loser.
Speaker 3:
[76:48] This guy was like, cool, I love your empire.
Speaker 1:
[76:52] Arthur Dunlop.
Speaker 2:
[76:54] He even had dumb in his name.
Speaker 1:
[76:56] He loved getting drunk and bragging about the family's crimes. In 1931, Ma's ruthless son, Fred, got out of prison, and with friend Alvin Karpis, his nickname was Creepy because of his dead doll's eyes and his smile, which many said made them feel like a ghost was walking over their grave. So Ma adopted Creepy, and they became the masterminds of the organization. They had to go on a run after killing a Missouri sheriff, and they ended up in St. Paul. And their first big stick up job was at the Northwestern National Bank. They stole a fancy car to do the job in style, a luxury Lincoln.
Speaker 3:
[77:42] Doors.
Speaker 1:
[77:43] Got it. And they got $75,000 in paper money, $6.5,000 in coins, and $185,000 in bonds, which is over $6 million today.
Speaker 6:
[77:53] Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:
[77:55] Now, because of the... Where are we going to hide it? Because of the O'Connor Layover system, they were fine. But then some kid recognized them from their pictures in a true detective magazine. Fucking snitch.
Speaker 5:
[78:14] Hey! Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:
[78:16] You little son of a bitch.
Speaker 5:
[78:17] I'm the sheriff. Fucking dare you.
Speaker 1:
[78:27] So, Arthur Dunlop was a total fucking dick and he abused Ma. Or they thought he had blabbed instead of the kid figuring it out. Or they just wanted to kill him. Either way, they killed him.
Speaker 3:
[78:40] Okay. You kind of tipped your hand on that a little bit.
Speaker 1:
[78:42] And a woman's glove was found covered in blood at the scene. The gang hit out in a fancy fishing town 14 miles north and then came back to do a kidnapping.
Speaker 5:
[78:54] Whoa, a door.
Speaker 1:
[78:58] William Ham Jr. Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker 3:
[79:02] Every guy here looks like he's been like blow darted with roids. Look at the size of this guy.
Speaker 1:
[79:09] He's 20.
Speaker 5:
[79:10] He's 20?
Speaker 3:
[79:11] No, I'm kidding. Oh my God. I would not surprise.
Speaker 5:
[79:21] Look at his hands.
Speaker 3:
[79:22] Yeah. He's got skull crushers.
Speaker 1:
[79:28] So William Ham Jr. was the rich young heir to the Ham's Brewery fortune.
Speaker 3:
[79:34] Wow.
Speaker 1:
[79:35] So they grabbed him in the parking lot and pulled him.
Speaker 5:
[79:38] The Ham's heir in the Ham's parking lot, make better beer. No. Fuck you.
Speaker 1:
[79:48] They pulled him into a car.
Speaker 3:
[79:50] It had to be a big car. They're like, his legs are still pulling him in all the way. His head's out the other. All right. Let's push him.
Speaker 5:
[79:58] It's an accordion in there. Push him in.
Speaker 1:
[80:01] Creepy was in the passenger seat, and he had a minor freakout and was terrified they'd kidnapped the wrong guy. Quote, with typical Minnesota good spirits, Ham assured the gangsters that he was indeed William Ham Jr..
Speaker 3:
[80:22] That was very nice of you to tell us that.
Speaker 6:
[80:25] I just wanted to be fairer.
Speaker 1:
[80:27] I remember the first time I came here, I was like, cool, why are you saying hi to me on the fucking Know You on the street? I used to have a gel bit in my act about how nice people in Minnesota were. How are you?
Speaker 6:
[80:35] How you doing?
Speaker 3:
[80:37] Fuck off!
Speaker 1:
[80:40] Ham quote, they were very nice to me.
Speaker 3:
[80:42] What a weird man.
Speaker 1:
[80:44] I asked.
Speaker 3:
[80:44] They were some of my best friends.
Speaker 6:
[80:47] I adored each one of them.
Speaker 1:
[80:49] I asked for anything I wanted and ordered anything I wanted. Meals were good and simple, nothing elaborate, but whoever did the cooking knew their way around the kitchen.
Speaker 5:
[80:57] What is happening right now?
Speaker 3:
[81:00] What is he doing? I'll tell you what, boys, I'm having a hell of a time.
Speaker 2:
[81:05] This is absolutely lovely.
Speaker 1:
[81:06] Can I ask who the chef is?
Speaker 3:
[81:08] You are beautiful cuisine.
Speaker 1:
[81:12] Although it was a trying experience, I was treated with the utmost respect and courtesy, but like the old adage, home sweet home is the best place.
Speaker 5:
[81:24] He's treated like sleep away camp.
Speaker 3:
[81:27] That's all.
Speaker 5:
[81:28] I'm going to really miss the hell out of you guys.
Speaker 3:
[81:30] You're some of my best friends.
Speaker 1:
[81:31] You guys want to hug this out?
Speaker 3:
[81:32] Come on.
Speaker 1:
[81:35] The gang made 2.5 million in cash from the kidnapping. A big chunk of that went to big Tom Brown, which put them in the clear, right? So they did another kidnapping.
Speaker 3:
[81:47] Who would they find a smaller guy?
Speaker 1:
[81:50] Well, they did.
Speaker 4:
[81:51] Edward Bremmer.
Speaker 1:
[81:53] Edward Bremmer was a banker and an heir to the Schmidt Brewery fortune.
Speaker 3:
[81:58] Everyone had beer money.
Speaker 1:
[82:00] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[82:00] It's pretty good.
Speaker 1:
[82:01] Yeah. The FBI quote, he was very much disliked, not only by his family, but generally.
Speaker 5:
[82:11] Shouldn't that go in the opposite order?
Speaker 3:
[82:15] Shouldn't he be like, not only generally, but also by his family? Like the twist there is not that he was generally disliked. You know, his family hated him and get this, others. You're not going to believe this. He was unpalatable to everyone. He had his family.
Speaker 1:
[82:34] He has an uncontrollable temper, is very selfish, and has few friends.
Speaker 3:
[82:39] This guy looks like the guy who is like out of fucking control. And then this guy is like, you cross me, I will fuck you up. I will fuck your world up.
Speaker 1:
[82:51] And Bremmer was on the wrong side of Harry Sawyer, the guy who had killed Dapper Dan. Bremmer had forced relationships with criminals to get through prohibition, but now that it was over, he wanted to cut ties and gangsters don't like that. So on January 17th, 1934, two cars blocked Bremmer in, and a man tried to pull him out of his car, but Bremmer fought. So the guy pistol whipped the shit out of him until blood was everywhere.
Speaker 3:
[83:22] Oh my God. Not to make light of this man's impending death, but the moment when you just think these are two idiot drivers, when you're like, what are these guys doing?
Speaker 5:
[83:34] Guys, get it together.
Speaker 1:
[83:35] Oh, it's a murder.
Speaker 5:
[83:36] Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:
[83:37] Oh, okay, dokey. Now I get it.
Speaker 1:
[83:40] So when he was being shoved into the back of the kidnapper's car, Bremmer blocked the door with his legs, so they slammed it, severely injuring his knee, and then closed it.
Speaker 3:
[83:52] See, the way the other guy handled it was way better.
Speaker 1:
[83:55] Way better. Hi, you guys want me to bake you pie?
Speaker 5:
[83:59] Oh, you guys can abuse my legs all you want.
Speaker 6:
[84:01] Oh, this is quite an interior.
Speaker 1:
[84:06] And then they were going to take his car too, but they couldn't figure out how to start it, because it's a fancy new car. Quote, they continued to beat him over the head so furiously that he decided that he had best start his car, which he did.
Speaker 3:
[84:20] They beat him so much he was like, I'll start it.
Speaker 6:
[84:22] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[84:24] Oh, you got to touch that button.
Speaker 3:
[84:28] This is his eyes like out of his head. It's tricky, though, huh?
Speaker 5:
[84:32] They make it cost pretty crazy now if you think about it.
Speaker 1:
[84:36] The ruling families of St. Paul were horrified by this new trend. Yeah. A reporter quote, We had a lot of murders and gangster killings and kidnapping of minor hoodlums for ransom. Nobody paid any attention to it. But when we start to pick on the fat boys, then people get alarmed. When a fat boy is threatened, he will get action.
Speaker 3:
[84:55] What? What?
Speaker 4:
[84:56] What? What?
Speaker 3:
[84:57] The rap group?
Speaker 1:
[84:58] Fat boys.
Speaker 3:
[85:01] The fat boys?
Speaker 1:
[85:02] This is what they call the rich guys. Hey, fat boy. Shut up. I just have a lot of money. I'm actually, I work out.
Speaker 5:
[85:09] Because they're like fat cats, basically.
Speaker 3:
[85:11] So they're, oh, it's so great.
Speaker 1:
[85:12] Hey, fat boy. We should bring that back.
Speaker 5:
[85:14] That's kind of fun.
Speaker 3:
[85:15] We have so little.
Speaker 1:
[85:16] How Elon would not be able to handle it.
Speaker 2:
[85:18] Hey, fat boy.
Speaker 3:
[85:20] Excuse me. I don't even think I'm fat.
Speaker 2:
[85:21] I'm just, what are you even talking about?
Speaker 3:
[85:25] You are made from a completely different... Your molecules are not even in line with where you used to be on a cellular level.
Speaker 1:
[85:31] Hey, fat boy.
Speaker 6:
[85:33] Stop it.
Speaker 1:
[85:34] Fat boy.
Speaker 2:
[85:35] You stop that right now. Fat boy.
Speaker 6:
[85:37] You don't understand.
Speaker 1:
[85:38] No, fat boy.
Speaker 6:
[85:41] I'm not fat.
Speaker 3:
[85:42] I'm just digesting a trillion dollars.
Speaker 1:
[85:46] Jesus Christ. Now, Bremmer's father happened to be good friends with FDR.
Speaker 6:
[85:53] Oh, shit.
Speaker 1:
[85:54] And within hours, the president sent a special team of FBI agents told a thousand mail carriers to watch for suspicious activity.
Speaker 3:
[86:03] I like that the mail carriers in the FBI had like the same amount of power.
Speaker 1:
[86:09] Look, boys, we got some serious crimes going on. I want everyone looking for weird letters.
Speaker 3:
[86:15] Like the FBI and the mail carriers standing next to each other. I'm going to stick together. The FBI is like, no, we're not.
Speaker 2:
[86:20] Shut the fuck up, Dave.
Speaker 3:
[86:23] Deliver the mail.
Speaker 1:
[86:25] And he got word from the American Legion that 10,000 Legionnaires were ready to help. So Bremer complained a lot to the kidnappers, especially about the cooking.
Speaker 5:
[86:38] How fucking dare you?
Speaker 1:
[86:40] Well, even though he got chili, chop suey, fried chicken, strawberry shortcake and apple pie.
Speaker 6:
[86:46] What the?
Speaker 3:
[86:47] And the last guy was like, this is delicious. Like the chef was like, I don't know what to think anymore. Clark, you're doing great. Now, whatever.
Speaker 6:
[86:56] He did faq.
Speaker 2:
[86:57] Whatever. He doesn't like the seasoning.
Speaker 5:
[86:58] Let him salt it. Give him the salt.
Speaker 2:
[86:59] Fuck it.
Speaker 3:
[87:00] I don't care. Give him the ketchup too.
Speaker 6:
[87:02] Let him dip it.
Speaker 3:
[87:03] This guy's unbelievable. His legs don't work.
Speaker 6:
[87:07] It's fine. I'm fine.
Speaker 1:
[87:10] To cover their identities, the kidnappers used fake accents, French, Irish and Italian, but they were not good at it.
Speaker 3:
[87:17] Yeah, them not being good at it is fucking amazing.
Speaker 1:
[87:21] Right.
Speaker 3:
[87:22] What were the accents?
Speaker 1:
[87:23] Uh, French, Irish and Italian.
Speaker 6:
[87:26] I was just like, Arme Yard. Sir, where do you think the money going to be?
Speaker 1:
[87:31] Would you like a potato? An Irish potato?
Speaker 3:
[87:44] You guys could just talk regular.
Speaker 2:
[87:46] Oh, what are you talking about? Regular people very much so.
Speaker 5:
[87:52] It's how you don't know where we're from, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 6:
[87:56] How do you like to fry the chicken? How do you like to fry the chicken?
Speaker 4:
[88:02] How do you like to hear?
Speaker 2:
[88:04] What?
Speaker 5:
[88:05] How do you like to hear some more water?
Speaker 1:
[88:07] Are you a bird?
Speaker 5:
[88:08] Do you? I'm coming from Ireland all the time.
Speaker 1:
[88:11] That's Ireland?
Speaker 4:
[88:12] More, more, more, more.
Speaker 6:
[88:14] More?
Speaker 5:
[88:14] More.
Speaker 1:
[88:16] Are you a muppet?
Speaker 2:
[88:18] Yeah, after excuse my friend, he's a little bit.
Speaker 6:
[88:20] He's not that nowhere has access to performance so much.
Speaker 2:
[88:25] What?
Speaker 6:
[88:25] And I, excuse me, say, I have a bit more fire with your, you, you, you, you, you, right?
Speaker 2:
[88:33] Did you hear it?
Speaker 6:
[88:35] No. Not me.
Speaker 2:
[88:39] Ha ha ha. It's you.
Speaker 6:
[88:41] We're not American. We've not been to America now.
Speaker 1:
[88:44] Okay, don't do it.
Speaker 3:
[88:45] Yeah, we never been to America before.
Speaker 6:
[88:47] You from America before? What? You from America before?
Speaker 1:
[88:52] Am I from America before?
Speaker 3:
[88:55] Ch'ch'ay, yay. Ch'ch'ay, yay.
Speaker 2:
[88:58] Hey, hey, hey. Ch'ch'ay, bruh.
Speaker 5:
[89:01] Ch'ch'ay, bruh, ch'ch'ay, bruh.
Speaker 3:
[89:03] Yeah, it's clear, it's clear, bro.
Speaker 6:
[89:06] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[89:15] Are you from here?
Speaker 6:
[89:15] No.
Speaker 1:
[89:19] Once they got 200,000, which is five million in today's money, the gang dropped Bremmer and had him take a bus and train home.
Speaker 4:
[89:30] Now, I'm really mad.
Speaker 3:
[89:31] Yeah, too.
Speaker 4:
[89:32] I don't fucking get on a bus.
Speaker 3:
[89:36] Even a train, this is just some guys stand up.
Speaker 1:
[89:39] And then Bremmer wouldn't tell the FBI very much, either because the gang had threatened to kill his daughter or due to his connections to underworld figures who wanted to kill him for the whole going back after probation.
Speaker 6:
[89:51] You said to them, we've got to take your daughter, go by now.
Speaker 5:
[89:57] She be over watch.
Speaker 1:
[89:59] Can you, should we make an agreement that you can kill her if you shut up?
Speaker 6:
[90:04] No, it's no.
Speaker 1:
[90:06] Okay.
Speaker 6:
[90:07] Trust us. You're going to be fine though, it's just, it's going to work out a real good for you. Just shut the up and you make it okay, okay?
Speaker 3:
[90:16] You be quiet, okay?
Speaker 6:
[90:18] Zut-er-ut-er! Zut-er-ut-er! What is your problem?
Speaker 1:
[90:30] It's a spasimi ball.
Speaker 6:
[90:33] I didn't know you were Italian.
Speaker 1:
[90:40] So, either way, he was very frustrating to interview for the feds. He did bitch to the FBI that, quote, all of his food was too well seasoned, indicating to him that a man who was inexperienced did the seasoning.
Speaker 3:
[91:00] He's behind, like, the partitioned mirror. He's watching, like, you know, it's just...
Speaker 5:
[91:07] The last guy said he liked it.
Speaker 1:
[91:10] But Bremer did memorize the house's distinct wallpaper, and the FBI went through 600,000 samples.
Speaker 5:
[91:19] Oh, my God!
Speaker 1:
[91:21] Traced the purchase back to the Barker Carpus gang.
Speaker 3:
[91:25] The microfiche?
Speaker 6:
[91:28] No, no, no.
Speaker 1:
[91:29] I hate that one.
Speaker 3:
[91:31] No.
Speaker 1:
[91:32] Who does stripes? No.
Speaker 6:
[91:34] Clowns?
Speaker 1:
[91:34] No.
Speaker 6:
[91:35] Clowns?
Speaker 3:
[91:36] Crazy.
Speaker 1:
[91:36] No, for kid. I guess for the kids here.
Speaker 3:
[91:38] Still, it's not made.
Speaker 1:
[91:38] Yeah, it's a fucking freak show. Giraffes, yeah.
Speaker 5:
[91:42] 200,000 left.
Speaker 1:
[91:45] Are those penises?
Speaker 3:
[91:47] A lot of these are penises.
Speaker 5:
[91:51] Super weird.
Speaker 1:
[91:53] They also used a brand new tech, silver nitrate to lift prints off ransom notes.
Speaker 3:
[92:01] That sucks to be caught up in that first thing.
Speaker 1:
[92:03] Yeah.
Speaker 3:
[92:04] Wait, what? What's a fingerprint? Huh? What do you mean, these things? Oh, I guess they kind of do have lines.
Speaker 2:
[92:12] Oh, shit.
Speaker 1:
[92:16] The process of using fingerprints elevated the status of the FBI from dorks who needed cops to America's greatest detectives.
Speaker 3:
[92:25] By the way, such a dorky way to work out of being a dork. Seriously. And now we know what your fingers look like.
Speaker 6:
[92:35] Put silver on the paper.
Speaker 1:
[92:37] Congress gave them more power, leading to the FBI we know and hate today. Creepy and Fred Barker knew their fingerprints were all over the scene, so they had painful fingerprint mutilation surgery.
Speaker 2:
[92:51] Oh my God.
Speaker 5:
[92:53] For the first time.
Speaker 3:
[92:55] You better be good at this, duck. He's dead. Fingerprint mutilation surgery. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to cut all your fingers off.
Speaker 1:
[93:09] Okay.
Speaker 3:
[93:10] There you go.
Speaker 1:
[93:11] Sounds good.
Speaker 3:
[93:11] There you go.
Speaker 1:
[93:13] An under-rolled doctor gave them cocaine, then sliced off the skin and even some muscle on their fingers.
Speaker 3:
[93:20] By the way, is that not an admission of guilt? Like the FBI is like, wait, what did you do?
Speaker 5:
[93:25] Hi, we were all rock climbing. We were rock climbing.
Speaker 1:
[93:32] Then they poured acid on the finger.
Speaker 5:
[93:33] Why? What? What was this guy?
Speaker 3:
[93:36] And now to just make sure it's okay.
Speaker 1:
[93:38] It didn't work because the scars were now uniquely identifying. They had rare freaky scar fingers.
Speaker 3:
[93:50] That doctor sneaking out of the room like, don't mind if I do. So why did he pour acid on them to like help cover it?
Speaker 1:
[93:58] That'll do it.
Speaker 3:
[93:58] He like cut their fingers off. He's like a little bit of acid. Nobody will know what you do.
Speaker 1:
[94:04] Now we're going to burn him. Put him in a fire.
Speaker 5:
[94:07] What?
Speaker 1:
[94:11] And the feds could match Creepy's hands anyway, since they had the pictures from when he was in prison.
Speaker 3:
[94:16] Oh, he's just standing there.
Speaker 5:
[94:17] You have pictures of that? Fuck me.
Speaker 3:
[94:21] Shit. I'm done picking up.
Speaker 1:
[94:23] Good news is now I'm really creepy.
Speaker 6:
[94:27] I can't...
Speaker 3:
[94:30] That is so fucking great.
Speaker 1:
[94:32] The gang split up and...
Speaker 3:
[94:33] The first guy to pitch it, he's like, I'll take their fingerprints off. Can you do that?
Speaker 1:
[94:40] The gang split up and went on the run. Their accomplices in St. Paul turned on them for lighter sentences. Fucking squealers.
Speaker 3:
[94:47] Yeah. Well, pig's eye.
Speaker 1:
[94:49] Ma and Fred were killed in a gunfight. Creepy and dark were caught and sent to Alcatraz.
Speaker 3:
[94:56] The weird dwarfs.
Speaker 5:
[94:58] Snow White.
Speaker 3:
[95:00] Six of our dwarfs are dead Snow White.
Speaker 1:
[95:04] And then a new anti-corruption mayor was elected in St. Paul. Big Tom Brown was now under FBI investigation, and hearings were held, and he was implicated in many crimes. He fought being fired, but the public was now very against him, and he was, in the end, fired. But not prosecuted. He still got a pension and ran a tavern up north. But ultimately, it was St. Paul business interests who got rid of the criminals. Ten companies worked with Howard Kahn at The Daily News to raise $100,000 to fund an investigation, and they tapped phones and got the entire department finished on corruption.
Speaker 3:
[95:46] Holy shit.
Speaker 1:
[95:48] The 1935 investigation led to tons of press, and the whole operation collapsed. Dozens of cops and high-ups were suspended, fired, or got prison. And that was it. The O'Connor Layover agreement lasted for 36 years.
Speaker 3:
[96:01] Holy shit.
Speaker 1:
[96:03] 36 fucking years.
Speaker 2:
[96:04] That's fucking nuts.
Speaker 1:
[96:05] And that is a crazy amount of time.
Speaker 3:
[96:08] And how long would it actually working? Like 20?
Speaker 1:
[96:12] Definitely 20, but then after that, it still kind of worked a little bit. Not as well as it had before, but it was still a system in place that you could go there and the cops wouldn't really bust you.
Speaker 6:
[96:23] Right, but you would be doing crime.
Speaker 3:
[96:25] Yeah. Right, so it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:
[96:27] Well, it worked for the criminals.
Speaker 3:
[96:29] Right.
Speaker 1:
[96:30] You're thinking of people.
Speaker 3:
[96:31] Correct.
Speaker 1:
[96:31] Yeah, we're talking about criminals.
Speaker 3:
[96:33] Yeah, we're talking about different stuff.
Speaker 1:
[96:35] Yep. This is written by Josh Androwski. The sources, John Dillinger slept here by Paul Maccabee, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, The Big Fellow and the Cardinal by Robert O'Connor in 3AM Magazine, Keeping the Peace in St. Paul by Joel Best, St. Paul and the O'Connor System by JA. Densley, and Leave No Trace, long history of criminals mutilating their fingers to try to evade capture.
Speaker 3:
[97:07] I don't think I've ever wanted to read a book more.
Speaker 1:
[97:10] I would fucking read that.
Speaker 3:
[97:12] That's like the, I think that's the book I would like to read most, not if any, on this tour. It's like, well, that didn't work either. Fuck. That didn't work either. All right, everybody. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.