transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:03] Have you been working on scripture memorization with your kids, but you're just not sure how much they're soaking in? Are you curious why the Lord calls us to memorize His word and teach our kids to hide it in their hearts? Then we're glad you're joining us for today's episode. I'm your host, Alex Cody, and welcome to my mom's podcast, Parenting with Ginger Hubbard. Ginger is the best-selling author of Don't Make Me Count to Three, Wise Words for Moms, and I can't believe you just said that. She speaks at parenting conferences, homeschool conventions, and Christian schools across the country. You can check out our parenting resources, find out when she's speaking in or near your area, or explore the possibility of having Ginger lead a parenting conference at your church or school at gingerhubbard.com. If you enjoy this podcast and want to help support our ministry, one way you can do that is by purchasing Ginger's resources directly from her website instead of other online retailers. And stay tuned until the end of this episode to receive a discount code on your purchase at gingerhubbard.com. Thank you for your support, listeners. This enables us to further our mission to help parents reach the hearts of their children for the glory of God. In a world where education is key, finding the right math program for your kids is crucial. And that's where CTC Math steps in. This isn't just another math program. It is a comprehensive math curriculum covering everything from K to 12. And what sets it apart are the video tutorials. They aren't just educational. They're engaging, breaking down complex topics into bite-size, understandable pieces. It's like having a math expert in your home, available at any time. And it's not just about memorizing facts. It's about truly understanding math concepts. The kind of understanding that sticks with your kids, not just until the next test, but for life. And plus, the flexibility is unbeatable. Whether you're homeschooling or supplementing after school learning, CTC Math fits into your schedule and not the other way around. Take the leap and visit ctcmath.com today. Start your free trial and discover how comprehensive curriculum can change your child's perspective on math. That's ctcmath.com. Well, what's up, mom? I am so excited for today's episode. I love to take scripture verse by verse and study how it applies to everyday life. And I cannot wait to hear how today's guest shares specifically about how 2 Timothy 3.16 applies to parenting. Listeners, you may remember us talking with Bob Lepine back in episode 179, where he gave us tons of useful information about building a stronger marriage. We got such great feedback from y'all about that episode, so please be sure to go back and listen if you missed that one. So mom, why don't you reintroduce our listeners to Bob?

Speaker 2:
[02:59] I would love to. Bob Lepine is the teaching pastor of Redeemer Community Church in Little Rock, Arkansas, which he helped plant in 2008. He is the former longtime co-host of Family Life Today and the on-air announcer for Truth for Life with Alistair Begg. Today, he is the host of Mornings on Family Radio, heard on a network of more than 70 radio stations in the US. He speaks regularly at marriage conferences and pastors events. He's also the author of Build a Stronger Marriage, Love Like You Mean It, The Christian Husband, and 12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Easter. I want to get that one. That sounds super interesting. I've not read that one. Bob and his wife, Mary Ann, have five children and 11 grandchildren. Bob, thank you so much for joining us again on the podcast.

Speaker 3:
[03:52] Ginger and Alex, great to be with both of you. Looking forward to this time together. Thanks.

Speaker 2:
[03:57] Yeah. So, well, we're excited to talk with you today about 2 Timothy 316, which is a verse related to the authority of scripture that most of our listeners are probably familiar with. It says, All scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. But Bob, you see a connection with that verse and parenting, so we would love to hear you talk about that.

Speaker 3:
[04:25] Yeah, this dawned on me. I don't remember a specific incident, but I was watching parental interaction with kids, and I saw moms who were correcting their kids, or actually they were, to use the words that are in the verse, they were rebuking or reproving their kids for things that they had never instructed their kids about. And it just, it dawned on me that this verse is really giving us a model for how we are to, how we're to interact with scripture, but how we're to parent using this as well. So for parents, we have these four responsibilities, and scripture is a part of, it's the central part of how we do this, but we are, first of all, to instruct our kids in what the Bible says, what's right and what's wrong, and how to live according to gospel truth. And then yes, we are to correct them, we are to reprove them, and we are to train them in righteousness. Each of those four words, I think, encapsulates an activity, a parenting activity, and of course, the scripture is at the heart of all of that, but I just am jealous for parents to recognize that before you get to correcting and reproving, there needs to be a lot of instructing that goes on, and all of that's gonna come together to provide the right kind of training in righteousness. And I just think there are a lot of moms and dads who get frustrated with what their kids are doing and they move right to correction or to reproof when they've never stopped to instruct or to train their kids.

Speaker 2:
[06:05] Yep, and that's what the scripture says, that we are not just to teach them what to put off, but what to put on. That's what it means to train our children in righteousness. It's never enough to tell them just what not to do. We have to instruct and train them in what to do. So my heart is right there with you on that, Bob.

Speaker 3:
[06:22] I'm just going to jump in here, because I love that reference to putting off and putting on. It reminds me of Jesus talking about the parable where he came upon a house and there was a demon in the house, and they swept out the house, got rid of the demon, but they didn't put anything back in the house. So what the demon did was went and got his buddies and said, we got a clean house we can move back into, and now there were seven demons in the house. So I think a lot of times when we focus on all of the stuff that needs to be put off, but we're not doing the training that you're talking about in what we need to put on, all we're doing is frustrating our kids. They know what they're not supposed to do, but nobody's told them to put on kindness, compassion, humility, gentleness, all of these positive character qualities. And if you just work on getting rid of things and you don't work with your kids on what to put in that place, you know, you don't work on cultivating the fruit of the spirit and the life of your kids, they're gonna be like that house that's just sitting there clean, waiting for the demons to show back up.

Speaker 2:
[07:21] Right. And I also love how you said that that's frustrating for children. And there's actually a verse about that that says fathers do not exasperate your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction, not just discipline and correction, but training and instruction. So that verse goes right in line with what you're saying there.

Speaker 1:
[07:39] I love, mom, that when we were little, you really had us do a lot of role play because we didn't always know how to, when you said, well, how could you have responded correctly? And I'm like sitting there four years old, like, well, I don't know. And then you would have us, you know, you would give us suggestions like, well, you could have done this. Let's practice that. Try saying these words instead. Try respond like this instead. And you would actually have us go through role playing and practice the way we could have handled it in a way that would have been honoring to the Lord.

Speaker 3:
[08:07] Yeah, I would sometimes come home from work. And I'd say to my kids when they were two or three or four, they wanted time with me, you know, the dad comes home and they're wanting to play. I said, okay, let's play the obey game. And they said, what's the obey game? I said, here's what it'll do. I'm gonna sit over on the sofa. You sit over away from me. And in just a minute, when I call you, I will say, hey, Jimmy, come here. And I want you to jump up and say, okay, daddy, and run over to me, okay? You ready to play? And we'd do this for, you know, 15 minutes playing the obey game. And it was just, they thought it was a game. But I was just trying to help them recognize, when I call, you should want to say, okay, daddy. Now, it didn't always stick. That's why we have to recognize that instruction and reproof and correction training and righteousness, this is never a one and done. This is a lifelong process with our kids. But all of these elements have to be a part of what the parenting process looks like with our kids.

Speaker 1:
[09:11] So, back to 2 Timothy 3.16, I feel like memorizing scripture is a practice that can easily fall to the wayside, whether it's teaching our children to memorize scripture or even memorizing it ourselves as adults. I mean, we look at Psalm 119.11 and that says, I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. And it's easy to see in that scripture where the memorization of God's word is encouraged and necessary in the Christian life. But can you share with us how 2 Timothy 3.16 specifically highlights the importance of helping your children memorize scripture?

Speaker 3:
[09:45] Yeah, here's what we have to recognize as parents. When we're doing the instructing and the training and the correcting and the reproving, we can be doing that with our own wisdom or our own preferences. You can correct your kids and say, I don't like it when you do that or this is wrong. It doesn't make mommy happy, whatever it is that you're using. And there's some authority or weight that comes with that, but when you correct and can point them to scripture as the source of that correction, again, the verse says all scripture is inspired. It carries more weight. Scripture is powerful. Scripture is living and active and sharper than a two edged sword. So when you are planting scripture in a child's heart, that carries more weight and authority and has more power in it than your words, your preferences, mommy doesn't like it when you do that. Well, that's one thing, but when you're teaching them that this is wrong, this is not what scripture, this is not what God wants you to do. Here's what the Bible says and you help them memorize a verse. That's gonna live in that soil with a lot more authority and a lot more power than just your preferences. And I'll give you a quick example. One of the things that are, I remember one child in particular who loved to tease his or her siblings. I'm trying to protect the identity of my children, right? Right. But given the example, you might be able to tell it was a him and not a her in this situation. He liked teasing and picking on his siblings. And then when you would say, don't pick on your siblings like that, this child would say, I was just kidding, I was just joking, right? So we found in Proverbs, I think it's Proverbs 28 that says, like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows, is a man who teases his brother. I don't think it says teases, I forget what the word is, but who plagues his brother, and then says, I was only joking. I mean, it's right there. So we made that the practice. Whenever the teasing episode would come in, I'd say, get the Bible, I want you to read that verse to me. And he would start to roll his eyes like, like a madman shooting firebrands. He knew right away what the verse was.

Speaker 2:
[11:59] Heard that one before.

Speaker 3:
[12:00] Yeah. But to have that hidden in his heart, that's still with him today as an adult, raising his own kids, much more than, I heard my dad say this a thousand times, it was, here's what the Bible says, and you're appealing to a higher authority than just your own preferences or your own wisdom as a parent.

Speaker 2:
[12:20] Right, right. And it says that the scripture says it's the word of God that penetrates the heart. And so that's why we go to the scriptures for training our kids because his word is so much more powerful. A lot of times our words are not so beneficial, but God's word is holy and powerful, it's sharper than a double edged sword, and it penetrates even the dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and the attitude of the heart. And so that's why we go to the word of God, because God is concerned with so much more than outward behavior. He is always about the heart, and so is scripture.

Speaker 3:
[12:56] Well, and I think it's important for parents just to be thinking about how much time they spend as parents in correcting and reproving, versus how much time they spend in instructing and training. Because I know what a parenting day feels like, and it can feel like all you're doing all day long is correcting, all you're doing is reproving your kids, and I think that happens circumstantially. We correct and we reprove because a child's misbehaving. Training and instructing are things that we have to do intentionally and deliberately and purposefully. That doesn't just come up typically, you need to set aside time and say, we're going to do some training activities. I mean, you wouldn't say that to a child, but like, let's play the obey game, or what other kinds of training things can you do? What's the behavior you want your child to exhibit, or that God wants exhibited in the heart of the child? And then how do you discipline, how do you work in those training exercises? One of the things I learned as a dad was, when we went to the grocery store, I wanted my kids not to be grabbing stuff off the shelves, not to be throwing it off it. So we had to do some training before we went into the grocery store, because the grocery store is an environment that's very stimulating for kids. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that they look at and go, I want that, that looks fun. They're excited, it's a fun environment for them. So we had to, before we went in, pull in the parking lot, turn off the car, we're about to go in the grocery store. Do you remember what it is that we do and don't do in the grocery store, and how you should behave, and what's gonna go on, and here's how the day will go better for us if you're able to do this well in the grocery store. Here's how the day is gonna go worse if you can't do this in the grocery store. Do you guys think you're ready? You think you're ready to go do this? Once you've had that conversation, now when you're in the grocery store, rather than having the meltdown happen right there and you've got to deal with it for the first time, you can say, remember what we talked about in the car? You can draw back on that. Again, if you've got scripture that you can incorporate into that training time, that's just going to give you more weight and authority with what you're doing with your kids.

Speaker 2:
[15:20] Right. That's so good. That's called proactive parenting, which is really an act of kindness to our children. I love that. Bob, I'm sure you've noticed this. There's so much emphasis these days on helping children process their emotions. We hear a lot about validating feelings and giving kids space to express what they're feeling. And of course, there is a place for that. Emotions are God-given, so they're a gift to be used for His glory. But God has not called His children to be slaves to their emotions. So I'd love to hear your thoughts on how parents can help shepherd their children's emotions in healthy and God-honoring ways.

Speaker 3:
[16:06] Well, I think this is so important. And I'll start just by saying, I think what we're seeing today among some young adults is the fruit of kids who were raised with emotion being the authority in their lives. And mom and dad, by validating the emotions and focusing on the emotions, gave the emotions of a child that has an unauthoritative weight that doesn't belong there. Like you said, emotions are not unimportant. God gave us emotions. Emotions are, emotions provide us with information that we need to be able to consider and process. And what are we feeling? That's an important part of how you think through what's going on in life. But what's happened is emotions have become the new ultimate authority in the lives of a lot of young adults who look at their lived experience and their emotions, and they say, this is what's authoritative. And if the Bible conflicts with what my emotions or my lived experience are telling me, then I have to figure out how to recalibrate the Bible to fix my emotions. That's how a lot of young people are thinking today. So as parents, as we're raising our kids, we have to validate their emotions, but help them to understand that their emotions are not ultimate, and not the source of ultimate authority in their lives. So that, yes, this is what you're feeling. And let's think about that. Why are you feeling this way? And what's going on in your heart? Yes, we want to explore that, but we don't want the child to think that what you're feeling is ultimate in this circumstance. What's going on in this circumstance? God may be taking you through a hard time, and that's why you're feeling sad, or that's why you're feeling angry right now, because you're going through a trial. And God has purpose in our trials. And let's talk about what God might be doing. And let's talk about what the Bible calls a fruit of the spirit, which is self-control. And self-control is learning how not to be governed by our emotions, but how to be able to control our emotions. And that's something that God wants all of us to be able to do. And you know, daddy has to deal with this too. And now we're having the kinds of conversations we need to be having. I remember a conversation I had with a mom who, she said on repeat at our house, as I'm dealing with my kids, she said, I am often saying, you know, I'm a sinner just like you. And was reminding the child that what they're doing when they're acting out is something that we as parents have to process as well. We don't want our kids to think, I'm up here and I've got it all mastered, and you're down here and you don't, and so I'm Yoda and you're Luke Skywalker, and you know, I've got to train you to be an emotional Jedi. No, mommy and daddy have to deal with this kind of thing as well. In fact, I look back on one of my mistakes as a parent, and this is where I just, I didn't do well in this particular area. We came home from a trip one time, and this was back in the days when you just had one computer in the house, and you kept it in the middle of the house, and it was out in the open where everybody could see it. Well, we had a computer, but I had some spy software on my computer so I could see who'd been where. And we came back from a trip, and I checked out the spy software, and I saw that one of my kids had been to some spots on the Internet he didn't need to go to. So I took him out to lunch, and I said, how was everything while we were gone? We had a conversation, waited to see if he wanted to voluntarily bring up anything. He didn't. I said, so, you know, I checked out the log on the computer. You know I've got that log on the computer, and you could see his eyes fell. And in that moment, I went to correction mode, and I said, okay, here's what we're gonna have to do. No computer for the next 60 days. Consequences that are coming. You're gonna need to memorize some scripture. I mean, I went into that. What I didn't do in that moment that I look back on with regret is say, you know, dad struggles with this kind of stuff too. I mean, this is a battle for me just like you. And let's memorize this passage together, and let's be each other's allies in this. And I just I look back on that and said that would have been so much more affirming to him in that moment than just this kind of a like, you've bust, I was being the cop instead of being a fellow traveler with him. And I've gone back to him and said, you know, I'm sorry I blew it in that moment that I didn't come alongside and recognize. I was just so probably frightened by where you'd been and what you'd seen that I just wanted to fix it as quickly as I could and move on.

Speaker 1:
[21:02] Right.

Speaker 2:
[21:03] But there's something to be said for when we blow it with our kids and we have that regret for allowing the conviction of the Holy Spirit to work in our lives and to have that transparency so our kids can see what it means to surrender to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and to make things right. So even in the times we blow it with our kids, just being willing to go back and saying, hey, you know, I really blew it right here. This, this, I really wished I would have responded this way. Man, those are the times that God's grace comes down because they see that their parents are also willing to walk in humility and admit fault and sin and respond rightly to the conviction of the Holy Spirit in making things right. So, you know, when we do blow it and mess up instead of beating ourselves up and just saying, oh, well, you know, better luck next time, we can go back and make things right like that. And I think that our children really respect that.

Speaker 3:
[21:58] They do. And we're all jumping in here, but I'll just say your kids have got to understand, they've got to see a model of what repenting looks like.

Speaker 1:
[22:09] Right.

Speaker 3:
[22:10] And you need to be the model of that. So they need to see you showing them, this is what it looks like to be broken and contrite and to be sorry for your sin. And here's how you seek and grant forgiveness in a situation. If that's not modeled for them, how are they going to know how to do it later in life or as they become parents themselves?

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[23:50] Let's take a moment to talk about health care. Well, Redeem Health Share through Samaritan Ministries has given me peace of mind on so many levels. After years of paying ridiculously high prices for health insurance with little return, my husband and I finally found a solution that we feel great about. Redeem is affordable, allows us to choose the providers and treatments we want, and aligns with our biblical beliefs and values. Most importantly, it's built on true Christian community where members serve one another with compassion, prayer, and financial support. Find an affordable health care solution that's right for your family by clicking on the link in the show notes or go to redeemhealthshare.org. Talking just a little bit more about emotions, that just seems like such a huge thing with kids today. And, you know, when I think specifically about anger, when I look around, it just seems like there's so many angry kids today. And, I see parents encouraging them, especially with this whole gentle parenting movement, to not, you know, that don't bottle up your anger, express it freely, you know, go ahead, let it out, fall on the floor in a full tantrum, kicking and screaming and pounding your fist. But when parents encourage a lack of self-control, is how you addressed it, Bob, what they're really teaching is, go ahead, let your anger rule you. And, you know, the thing is, we don't tell adults to let out their anger. And sadly, we hear about the ones who do let out their anger on the news all too often.

Speaker 1:
[25:25] Oh yeah, Florida man all the time.

Speaker 2:
[25:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[25:29] Well, I'm resonating right here with you because I do think that parents will often say that they want their kids. And by the way, I think this is some correction. Maybe they were raised in an environment where they were not allowed to express or feel emotion, where anytime it came up, it was shut down or invalidated. And so I do think we have to find the good middle spot here where we can say, I want to hear your heart and I want to hear what you're feeling. We're going to do that over here in this room in a few minutes when I've got some time. So you're not in charge of the schedule. You're not in charge of causing all of this to change because you're having the feelings right now. But you can sit down and say, tell me what you were feeling and why did you get to feel. So yes, let them express that, validate that, but then they have to understand that the Bible tells us that emotions are something that should not be governing our behavior. We are not a slave to our emotions. And my kids are so sick of hearing me quote the Psalms where David would say, why are you so downcast? Oh, my soul, put your hope in God. He's counseling his own soul. He's telling his soul, why are you feeling depressed? Here's how you respond, soul, put your hope in God. So why are you angry? Why are you that whatever the feeling is, let's examine this feeling, what's going on here, but then let's correct the feeling and bring the Bible to bear on it. Put your hope in God. You're not trusting in the sovereignty of God in this moment, or you're not trusting in the goodness of God at this moment, or you're showing a lack of contentedness and great gratitude in this moment because you're unhappy with the fact that you didn't get what you wanted, and so rather than focusing on being grateful for what God has given you, you're focusing on what you, not getting, you know, it's these kinds of conversations, but the correction comes after instruction, and I think it comes after you've had a chance to hear the heart of a child, and let the child express their heart in an appropriate way. If a child is expressing their heart in an inappropriate way, don't validate the inappropriateness. If they're having the tantrum, don't say, this is a good way for you to get mom and dad's attention. This is a part of training them. This is a part of instructing them. This is not the way to get my attention. If you want my attention, I want to hear what's on your heart, but I'm not going to hear it this way. It's all a part of the training.

Speaker 1:
[28:03] You know, one thing every parent hopefully realizes pretty quickly is that parenting changes as children grow, and the way that parents guide and correct their toddler looks very different from how they've shepherd a teenager. There are different stages of parenting as children mature. So for parents who maybe haven't given this much thought, can you tell us about the four stages of parenting?

Speaker 3:
[28:27] Yeah, I learned this at a father-son event that one of my boys and I went to and the speaker mapped this out. So this is not original with me, but it made sense to me as he was talking about it. He said, when we're raising our kids, we go through four phases. He said, the first phase you're in as a parent is a caretaker phase. So the caretaker's job is to keep the child fed, alive, breathing, basically get them through the day without any self-harm. And he said, really, they have no voice, no determination in that season of life. They're just responding to what's going on. But you're in charge. You know what's best, and you're not asking them, what do you think we should do right now? You don't say that to a one-year-old. Do you think it's a good time for you to go to bed? No. You're in charge of what's right for the child. That's the first phase. Phase two is when you start to transition to becoming what he called a cop. So a cop is watching a child do their behavior and then writing them tickets or sending them to jail when they are not doing what they ought to be doing. So they now have some self-determination. So they're crawling. They crawl over to the potted plant. They reach their fist in to get that piece of dirt that they want to eat. And then they look over at you like, can I do this? And you're the cop. And you say, no, no, no, do not eat the dirt. Put the dirt down. And they look back at you and back at the dirt. And then they don't drop the dirt. And they start to put it in their mouth and you're saying, no, no, don't do that. And they put it in their mouth and you come over. And now it's correction. So now you're going to slap the hand and they're dropping the dirt. And you're going to pick them up and say, no, no, we don't. So you're, you're copping. You're, you're giving, there's a ticket. There's a consequence for what you just did. So this is going to go on throughout their toddler years. And then as they get older, you move from being a cop to being a coach. So with a coach, you're telling them, here's what's going to happen. And you put them in the game and you're letting them play the game themselves. But you're on the sidelines and you're calling out instructions. And you're saying, don't do that. No, no. And sometimes you pull them out of the game. You put them on the bench because they're not following the coach's instructions. They need to sit for a little while. But they're beginning to express more self-will autonomy and your job is not to continue to cop them when they're 13 years old. If you do that, it'll build bitterness in their heart. They won't feel like, I'm ever going to get to be an adult. I'm ever going to get to do what I think I should do. You're not training them to act on their own. You've got to become the coach alongside. That doesn't mean you quit correcting. It doesn't mean you don't pull them out of the game or there aren't consequences for what they do, but you're giving them more autonomy. It's coming sooner or later. You better be training them for needing to make these kinds of decisions. Then there's a point in their later teens or as they begin to reach adulthood where you become a consultant. You're no longer a coach. You're now a consultant. You're coming to them and you're saying, I remember this happening with our oldest. She was a senior in high school and there was a movie she wanted to see. Everybody at school had seen this movie and she was the only one who hadn't seen the movie. She said, can I go see this movie? She's a senior in high school. I'm thinking in four months when you're at college, you're not going to be asking me, can I go see this movie? You're going to be going to see that movie if you want to go see that movie. So I said, okay, it's your decision whether you want to go see this movie. Let's talk about the pros and cons of seeing this movie. If you decide you want to go, I'll go with you, which is kind of creepy.

Speaker 2:
[32:12] All right. Well, that just ruined it.

Speaker 3:
[32:16] Well, so she wanted to go see it and I went with her. And there were parts of the movie I was cringing in watching that with her. And afterwards, I was able to say, what about this part? Was that a problem for you? Did you struggle with that? So we were able to have those kinds of conversations. Now, here's the problem I see. I see a lot of parents who have got 17 and 18 year olds, and those parents are still trying to be a cop or a coach and they don't move to consult. And when you do that, the child starts to think, I can't wait till I'm out of here. And I'll never call that person for any advice ever again in my life, because all they want to do is control me.

Speaker 2:
[32:56] And you lose your influence.

Speaker 3:
[32:57] Exactly. And so as parents, we have to be gradually moving through these stages with our kids. And it's going to mean they're going to make some choices in their... When you're coaching them and when you're consulting them, they're going to make choices that you're going to look at and go, I really... you're going to regret that decision. That... just trust me, that's a bad decision to make, but you're going to have to let them make that decision. You know, the father of the prodigal did not say to him, there is no way I'm giving you your half of the inheritance, young man. I mean, we don't know how the young man was, but he was old enough that the dad said, OK, here you go. And it led him off the path into a terrible spot. And that dad's heart ached for him for a long time. And it wasn't until that child was in a pigsty that he went, what am I doing here? And came back home. And I talked to more and more parents of adult kids these days, whose son or daughter is off in the far country. And mom and dad are in agony over that kind of a situation. And I just say we have a biblical model for how we pray, how we wait, how we welcome a child home in that situation. But here's the thing, as much as you would love to try to control what your child is going through at age 25, you can't. And it's by God's design. That's not how it's supposed to be. You can pray and you can consult when asked for it. But it's a different day. And if you keep trying to control, you're just doing damage to the relationship.

Speaker 2:
[34:36] Right. That's right. And it goes back to influence. When you damage that relationship, they're not even going to come to us for counsel and advice and, hey, what do you think about this? We lose that opportunity to get to offer the guidance when they ask for it. And so, yeah, there's just so much wisdom there. Bob, let's talk a little bit more about Scripture memorization. What advice would you give to a parent who says their child is just not interested at all in memorizing Scripture? How would you encourage them? And also, do you have any tips to help with memorizing Scripture?

Speaker 3:
[35:12] Well, I think depending on the age of the child, there are different ages and stages. Again, are you in the cop phase? Are you in the coaching phase? You have to approach it differently. But I think it starts with that this is something we do as a family. So we all do this. This is not I'm giving you an assignment and it's not anything. No, we memorize these verses together. Let's do this together. One of the things I've learned about my own situation, I teach verse by verse through the scriptures at our church. And what I've realized is the more you just read over a passage, if you take a chapter of the Bible and read it every day for 10 days out loud, you'll be surprised how much you have memorized without trying to memorize. Make it a part of what you do as a family. Let's all read this out loud that before we have dinner, we're going to read these verses out loud. And you don't have to say, we're memorizing scripture and have them roll their eyes and go, I hate memorizing. Just no, here's what we're going to do. We're going to read these out loud every night for the next 10 nights. And that'll help them memorize it. Putting scripture to music was one of the best ways that our kids memorized it. So whether it's Seed's Family Worship or the old school Steve Green, Hide Them in Your Heart or any of the other old school kind of scripture. I don't know what's new out there that is better than what I had when I was there. But your kids, music makes the Bible sticky in the heart of a child. And so I use those. And again, when a child hides God's word in his heart, it's there. It's amazing how the Holy Spirit will bring that back a decade later. And you go, I haven't thought of that verse in years, but it's just the verse I needed in this situation. And it's there because it was hidden in your heart. I tell people all the time, there's only one offensive weapon listed among the armor of God in Ephesians chapter 6. There's all the defensive stuff you put on, the helmet and the breastplate and the shoes. The only offensive weapon, the only thing you use to fight with is the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. If you're not hiding God's word in your heart, if you're not memorizing scripture, you are asking the Holy Spirit to do battle on your behalf without a weapon in his hands. So we have to arm the Holy Spirit. Now people will say, well, doesn't the Holy Spirit know all these verses? I mean, he's the Holy Spirit, right? He's the author of this stuff. But we have to plan it there so that it's accessible for the Holy Spirit to use in our lives and in our circumstances to fight the battles that we're gonna be facing. So yes, I would say find times as a family where you can read verses aloud together over and over again. These are our three verses for this month. At the end of the month, they'll have a memorized time, whether you've tried to memorize them or not. Kids can memorize much easier than we can memorize as adults. So take advantage of the years when they are young and you can just plant, you can pour a ton of scripture. And whether it's programs like Awana, our kids were involved in Awana, a lot of scripture memory in Awana, or other programs at church where Bible memory is a part of it. John Piper has what they used to call fighter verses at Bethlehem Baptist Church. It was scripture memory put to music. I would say to parents, pick a dozen verses this year that you'd like to memorize and have those verse of one a month. So our verse for January is this, and we're all going to memorize it. And you do that for five years, and your kids now have 60, what, 72? Well, I guess be 60 verses memorized after five years. If you've picked the right 60 verses, you've given your child a great foundation that'll be with them throughout the rest of their life and doesn't have to quit after five years. Keep it going every year.

Speaker 1:
[39:07] I love that you said music makes scripture sticky. Like the verse that I used earlier, the Psalm 119 verse 11, that's literally a verse that I memorized because of scripture set to music that mom used to play in the car. And I just was like, oh yeah, I know that verse and I just wrote it down because the music just stuck with me and I still remember all those scripture songs.

Speaker 2:
[39:26] And what's funny is even though it was children's songs, that's how I memorized a lot of scripture, was listening to those kids songs in the car with you and Wesley. And then they were in my heart too. It's funny because I have people sometimes when I speak at conferences are like, how do you remember all those verses? And I said, it's singing kids songs in my head when I'm on stage and I remember them from that. So yeah, music is just a great way to memorize scripture.

Speaker 3:
[39:50] Do you find yourself as you're on the platform going, keep your tongue from evil, keep your tongue, you know. Yeah, it's right there, yep.

Speaker 2:
[39:58] Yep, for sure.

Speaker 1:
[40:00] Now is the part of our show where we give a quick tip for parents. Today's quick tip is courtesy of Bob. What do you have for us today?

Speaker 3:
[40:07] So this is a scripture verse that's my quick tip for you, and it's from Galatians chapter six, and it says, Parents, do not be weary in well-doing. You can do this another day. I'm so frustrated, I'm exhausted. Do not be weary. The Bible says, don't be weary in well doing. In due time, you will reap if you are faithful to keep sowing. So just be diligent and just say, this is the assignment God has for me. This is the stage of life. I'm in a race and I'm exhausted, but that doesn't mean that I drop out of the race. That means that I adjust the pace, that I keep going and I don't get weary because this is what God, God has not just given me the assignment, he will give me the strength by his Holy Spirit to persevere. So persevere in parenting. Don't be weary in well-doing. That's my tip.

Speaker 1:
[41:10] If you have a quick tip for our show, we'd love to hear from you. It can be any random tip about cooking, housekeeping, something you do with your kids, ideas for fun date nights with your spouse, anything at all. We'd love to share your ideas on the podcast. Just go to gingerhubbard.com to submit those. If you're looking for a way to gather with other moms for fellowship and encouragement from God's Word, well, we have created a brand new resource to help you do that. The Parenting with Ginger Hubbard six-week study guide is perfect for small groups to use alongside the podcast. Each lesson includes a Bible study, verses for meditation, practical application of scripture for parenting, discussion questions, and a place to record prayer requests. And you can also easily adapt it for individual use, or you can go through it with your spouse as a way to grow together and strengthen unity in the midst of parenting challenges. Get your copy of the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard six-week study guide at gingerhubbard.com and don't forget to use code parenting for 10% off your order. That's gingerhubbard.com code parenting.

Speaker 2:
[42:15] Bob, thank you so much for joining us today. As always, this has been such an encouragement and practical application. It's all the things that we know our listeners love. And so I know they're going to want to know more about you. Most are probably already familiar with you, but maybe we have a few listeners or just for some random reason, someone doesn't know who you are. Where can they go to find out more about you and your resources?

Speaker 3:
[42:39] Probably the best place to go these days is to our church website, which is redeemerlr.org. That's where I serve as lead pastor. And so most of what I'm doing these days is there. If you want to find out about books, you can go to Amazon, just Google my name, L-E-P-I-N-E, and the books are there. So yeah, wherever you find Christian books are sold.

Speaker 2:
[43:03] Okay, that's great. And I have read several of Bob's books. They are wonderful. I can't wait to read the one about Easter, about things that we possibly or probably don't know about Easter. I want to get that.

Speaker 3:
[43:15] Yeah, let me tell you, I wrote that as a gospel giveaway book. So, I wrote about things that I wanted you to be able to read. It's about 60 pages long, and you can buy them cheap from the publisher, but then read it, but the idea is give it away to a neighbor with an invitation to your Easter service or your Good Friday service and a plate of Easter cookies or an Easter basket. And just, it's kind of a, people will throw away a track, but they have a hard time throwing away a book. So, a 60 page paperback that you give them, maybe they'll read that sometime. And in there, I talk about everything from Marshmallow Peeps and Cadbury Eggs to the gospel stories. So, just tried to make it a fun, engaging read for folks around Easter.

Speaker 2:
[43:57] That sounds great. Well, we will put a link to that book as well as all things Bob in the show notes. Bob, how about offering our listeners a final word of encouragement?

Speaker 3:
[44:09] Yeah, I think as a final word of encouragement, I would just say, recognize that where you lack strength or wisdom, the scriptures don't lack strength and wisdom. So make sure you are grounded in God's Word as the center of all of this. And then I'll just add this. In reading John's Gospel, in reading the first chapter of John's Gospel, one of the things that John says about Jesus, he says, we beheld his glory, glorious of the only begotten son of the father. And then he says, he was full of grace and truth. And so while I point you back to scripture, I also just want to say as a word of encouragement, as you interact with your kids, make sure that you are full of grace and truth. That's what it means to be Christlike. If you're full of truth and you're lacking grace, you'll be harsh and you'll drive your kids away. If you're full of grace and you're lacking in truth, then you're going to be soft and your kids are going to wind up with behaviors that aren't going to be good for them. Be full of grace and full of truth. And you probably can recognize about yourself as a mom or a dad which one of those you need to work on. You recognize you probably lean in the grace direction or you lean in the truth direction. And I just say, if you know which way you lean, it's time to start leaning a little harder in the other direction and cultivate that other side so that you are full of grace and truth.

Speaker 1:
[45:47] Well, thank you, Bob and mom. And thank you, listeners, for joining us today. If you enjoy our show and want to help support our ministry, one way you can do that is by following, subscribing and sharing our podcast with your friends. And if you'd really like to make our day, you can do that by leaving a five star rating and review wherever you listen. Visit gingerhubbard.com to find Ginger's practical resources that will help you get to the heart of outward behavior and address it from a biblical perspective. Today we're offering her parenting book, I Can't Believe You Just Said That, Biblical Wisdom for Taming Your Child's Tongue at a 10% discount. Just use the code PARENTING at checkout on gingerhubbard.com. Ginger also offers a free discussion guide for this book on her website, which is great for book clubs and small group studies. Thank you again for joining us today. We can't wait to be with you next week. Until then, may God bless you as you seek to reach the hearts of your children for the glory of God.