transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:00] Let's do it.
Speaker 2:
[00:01] Flying in and doing this day of...
Speaker 1:
[00:03] Tough.
Speaker 2:
[00:04] Flights take me out now.
Speaker 1:
[00:06] You're old.
Speaker 2:
[00:07] Oh, what a way to find out.
Speaker 1:
[00:13] Hello, and welcome back to the UF Podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.
Speaker 2:
[00:16] And I am Jared Freid. It is so good to be in studio with you, Jordana. How are you today?
Speaker 1:
[00:24] I'm great, I'm sweaty. It couldn't, New York, it just couldn't go, it couldn't be like 72. It had to be, it had to go from 55 to 87.
Speaker 2:
[00:33] I don't, you're right.
Speaker 1:
[00:34] It just had to.
Speaker 2:
[00:34] Listen, I've been in a bad mood since I got here, and I think it's because of the heat here.
Speaker 1:
[00:39] It's so f**king hot.
Speaker 2:
[00:40] But it's worse than Florida. Like, I don't want to-
Speaker 1:
[00:43] The city is very, it like retains the heat.
Speaker 2:
[00:46] Yes, it's muggy, and it's like annoying, and you have all your stuff on your back. Like, I'm just saying, like when I, there are these subtle differences that go a long way. Florida, everywhere you go, AC blaring, going. You know, we're just crushing the ozone. Rightfully so, it's all right.
Speaker 1:
[01:02] The opposite of Europe.
Speaker 2:
[01:03] The opposite. And you walk in, everything's made, built for.
Speaker 1:
[01:08] Heat, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[01:09] Manhattan seems to be built for nothing. It's horrible, it's annoying in the winter, it's annoying in the summer.
Speaker 1:
[01:14] Straight in the fall. It's built for the fall.
Speaker 2:
[01:16] There's 10 good weather days in New York City.
Speaker 1:
[01:19] Yes, well, we missed them, that's what I'm saying. It's 87 now.
Speaker 2:
[01:22] 80, yeah, gone.
Speaker 1:
[01:23] It's over.
Speaker 2:
[01:23] Because I got here, I was annoyed. I was waiting for the Uber at the airport. I was annoyed. I was like, I don't know, I was like, why am I in a bad mood? Because it's so hot. Immediately, because it was hot. And I'm like, but I am of the heat.
Speaker 1:
[01:36] You should know how to handle this.
Speaker 2:
[01:38] Right, at this point, I don't know, immediate bad mood, I had an issue with the Uber, but it's great to be here. It's good to be in New York. It's good to be with you.
Speaker 1:
[01:47] Yes, you flew in.
Speaker 2:
[01:48] Flew in specifically to tape this one episode.
Speaker 1:
[01:51] Sort of.
Speaker 2:
[01:52] Kind of, we had other things going on. So we're here, we're on YouTube. If you're watching, hi, YouTube, land back in studio. So I flew here today, and I'm like, I'm feeling tired. Like, I am feeling the... And I've also traveled three weeks in a row, different states, like, for shows.
Speaker 1:
[02:10] I mean, yeah, you travel a lot, so...
Speaker 2:
[02:12] But it's hitting me, but I think you said it's my age, that I'm an old man.
Speaker 1:
[02:16] Not just you. Okay. I feel like there's...
Speaker 2:
[02:19] We're all getting old.
Speaker 1:
[02:20] I feel like a real sign of aging, and we're older than production. So maybe they haven't felt this yet. We'll have to ask them, because I used to book, like, Beach by Noon, book the first flight out, the 6 a.m. flight, get to the destination by, like, 9, think you'll have a full beach day. Now I do that. I tried doing that in the past year, and you're just like... You have to wake up at 4 a.m. And I can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:
[02:50] It's very difficult.
Speaker 1:
[02:51] And have a real day.
Speaker 2:
[02:53] It wears on you. You basically have to work in the 2 p.m. nap.
Speaker 1:
[02:57] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[02:58] You can get to 2. Like, I try to go as long as I can on a day where I do first flight out. But it's tough. It's tough. I mean, I fly... The thing I've been doing lately is doing the night before. So I land there.
Speaker 1:
[03:10] That's a rich person thing.
Speaker 2:
[03:11] That is a rich person thing.
Speaker 1:
[03:12] I know, but it is. It is, you know, because I'm like... Because you look at the whole... You're like, I could pay an extra whatever... Like, it's going to be more... You have to pay for an extra night of the hotel.
Speaker 2:
[03:21] Right, no, the cost set up.
Speaker 1:
[03:22] To do the night before. That's why you do first flight out, so you're like, oh, I'll get the whole day, but I won't pay for that night.
Speaker 2:
[03:29] It is a cheap person's way to go.
Speaker 1:
[03:31] That is my way to go.
Speaker 2:
[03:32] Yeah, that's our way. I was first flight... I mean, listen...
Speaker 1:
[03:35] I don't think I can handle it anymore, though.
Speaker 2:
[03:37] No, I'm with you. It becomes more difficult. I mean, for me, a lot of times, it's I have to do two shows that night. First flight out, 5 a.m., but I do... Yeah, it's all my back hurts, my hip.
Speaker 1:
[03:52] Were you in Economy?
Speaker 2:
[03:54] I was in Economy. I was in Comfy Plus. I got upgraded to Comfy Plus.
Speaker 1:
[03:57] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[03:58] Next to a guy I knew. Who knew me?
Speaker 1:
[04:01] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[04:01] Brutal.
Speaker 1:
[04:02] He knew you? Brutal.
Speaker 2:
[04:04] Absolutely brutal. He knew me. He goes, Jared! He did the... Jared! And I go, hey!
Speaker 1:
[04:10] He's a fan?
Speaker 2:
[04:11] No, we've done like some work together, and I didn't know him right away. He handled it great.
Speaker 1:
[04:16] And he was sitting right next to you.
Speaker 2:
[04:17] Right next to me. So we had to have like a 10-minute, and then you have that moment where you're like, earphone in?
Speaker 1:
[04:23] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[04:23] Are we done now?
Speaker 1:
[04:24] You don't want to be... You can't do it too soon.
Speaker 2:
[04:26] No.
Speaker 1:
[04:27] But someone's got to do it.
Speaker 2:
[04:29] Someone had to do it, and I literally... I had like a... There was a moment where I put the earphone up to my ear. He's on this side. I went like this, and he was like... And another thing. I was like, oh god, I got another 10 minutes here.
Speaker 1:
[04:42] That's so funny.
Speaker 2:
[04:44] Yeah. But he was very nice. I gotta say, like, if he hears this, he did a great job. Some people could be good at that. He was good at it. We had a little chit chat. Okay. Me on my phone, you on your phone.
Speaker 1:
[04:57] That's a person you might want to speak to again.
Speaker 2:
[05:00] Yes. We passed the test. We as a group, because some people are like, and New York, when are you going back again? You're like, oh my god, now we're related?
Speaker 1:
[05:11] That's so funny. I mean, Mike would... Mike says that about me, he's like... When we take the train together, we take the train together, he's like... I'll be like talking to him, and then he'll be like putting his... I'm like, hello? He would say, I'm not good at that, but only with him.
Speaker 2:
[05:29] Well, you would think you would be on the same page.
Speaker 1:
[05:32] I just do the tap.
Speaker 2:
[05:33] Hey, hey, hey, what are you thinking about? You thinking about stuff?
Speaker 1:
[05:38] You want to hold hands?
Speaker 2:
[05:40] Want to hug the whole way to New York? Speaking of Mike...
Speaker 1:
[05:44] He gets excited when there's no seats left and we have to sit separately.
Speaker 2:
[05:48] I would be the same way. I'd be like, oh, the top.
Speaker 1:
[05:51] I'm like, no, we can ask this person. He's like, bye.
Speaker 2:
[05:53] No, no, no, we're not separating a family. So we're coming. I think I have to ask you, but I think I might come stay with you for the 4th of July.
Speaker 1:
[06:05] Yes, you're coming.
Speaker 2:
[06:07] I think that's happening. Okay, because I think what we're going to do, Emily and I are going to come to you before the 4th of July.
Speaker 1:
[06:12] I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:
[06:13] And get that pool ready. That pool better be ready.
Speaker 1:
[06:16] It's ready.
Speaker 2:
[06:17] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[06:17] I know it's not ready, but it's going to be ready soon.
Speaker 2:
[06:19] We heard that last summer.
Speaker 1:
[06:21] I'm praying it's going to be ready.
Speaker 2:
[06:23] Now I am too. We're going to go, you know, both got to add our prayers together. Yeah, and then I'll do the show.
Speaker 1:
[06:29] I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:
[06:30] I'm excited too. I got a house to check out.
Speaker 1:
[06:33] This is going to be, we're going to have a fun recap.
Speaker 2:
[06:36] I cannot wait. So that'll be, so does Mike, Mike knows, I mean, he'll have to know by now, by airing.
Speaker 1:
[06:43] Yes, he will. He'll be excited.
Speaker 2:
[06:45] Let him know. We're all, I'll bring plenty of cool toys.
Speaker 1:
[06:49] You guys, like, not many people have seen the before and the after. So you both were there last time, and now you're going to both see it again.
Speaker 2:
[06:55] When we dated, we both came to the house, and then we ended, and she was the only one who ever saw the house.
Speaker 1:
[07:01] Basically, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[07:02] So we're going to do an episode today? Let's do it. Let's jump right in.
Speaker 1:
[07:05] Should we jump right in? Let's just do it.
Speaker 2:
[07:07] We should jump right in. I'm on the road, if you're listening right now. I'm going to be in... Oh, I'm in Connecticut this weekend. I'm in Norwalk. I'm back. I'm back in Connecticut. I'm in Norwalk, Connecticut, and then I've added some dates.
Speaker 1:
[07:23] Let's hear them.
Speaker 2:
[07:23] Vegas, Los Angeles. I need people to start buying those Los Angeles tickets. I always get it. Come to Los Angeles. You never go to Los Angeles. I'm coming. Jacksonville, Austin, Cleveland. The land. I'm coming to Cleveland. West Hampton Beach. That's the weekend we're talking about. Miami, Miami, Foxwoods. Long Beach. Long Beach is happening, but that's kind of under the table a little bit.
Speaker 1:
[07:48] Me and my experience are the only ones talking about it.
Speaker 2:
[07:50] Right, no one else. I gotta... Long Beach is happening too. If you're in Long Beach, I'll be there too. But we need the Hamptons. I don't know, maybe the Long Beach people and the Hamptons people don't really mix.
Speaker 1:
[08:00] Yeah, I don't know. I think you're gonna get two separate crowds.
Speaker 2:
[08:02] Two different markets. Foxwood's in Portland, Maine, so I'm coming. The book, Walking Red Flag. I need that New York Times Best Seller list.
Speaker 1:
[08:12] I think you'll get it.
Speaker 2:
[08:14] From your mouth to the Lord above's ears. We need, I need it.
Speaker 1:
[08:19] How many cameos have you done?
Speaker 2:
[08:21] So many. I've done about 50.
Speaker 1:
[08:24] That's a lot.
Speaker 2:
[08:24] Is that a lot?
Speaker 1:
[08:25] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[08:25] Okay, pre-order. I did the audio book. You can pre-order the Kindle.
Speaker 1:
[08:29] I pre-ordered.
Speaker 2:
[08:30] You can pre-order the audio book. You can pre-order the hardcover.
Speaker 1:
[08:32] I need to take my copy.
Speaker 2:
[08:33] Take your copy. I got Jordana's copy right here.
Speaker 1:
[08:36] I got a free copy, and I still pre-order. That's how good I know it's gonna be.
Speaker 2:
[08:39] We need that New York Times Best Seller. I bought myself a Jersey already.
Speaker 1:
[08:45] Yeah?
Speaker 2:
[08:45] On the front, it says J Train. On the back, it says NYT Best Seller.
Speaker 1:
[08:50] Wow.
Speaker 2:
[08:50] I've already gotten ahead.
Speaker 1:
[08:51] You are manifesting this.
Speaker 2:
[08:52] I am praying to all the Woo Woo gods.
Speaker 1:
[08:55] This is going to be so embarrassing if you don't get it. If you have that shirt.
Speaker 2:
[09:02] I'm going to have to switch the back.
Speaker 1:
[09:03] You are the bride, you are the girlfriend who's booked her wedding venue before she's gotten engaged.
Speaker 2:
[09:09] That's right. I, listen, I'm speaking it into an existence. Honestly, if it doesn't get it, then it'll be pretty funny anyways. I'd have to explain it every time. Honestly, who's to say I'm not? At that point, you know, we live in a...
Speaker 1:
[09:25] No one is going to check.
Speaker 2:
[09:26] Right.
Speaker 1:
[09:27] Right. Call yourself a doctor. Who cares?
Speaker 2:
[09:29] I'm Dr. Freid. What are we talking about today? All right.
Speaker 1:
[09:36] We are doing an Icky or Picky. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2:
[09:39] And we want you to sign up for Benefits. Benefits, we're doing two extra episodes a month. We get personal. We just did an interview with my parents. My mom's call went so well that we did an interview with my parents. You can hear my parents answering questions about their marriage. Relationship, yes.
Speaker 1:
[09:55] I have follow-ups. We're going to do another one.
Speaker 2:
[09:57] We had so much fun with it that it's going to be two episodes. So, sign up for Benefits also gets you ad-free episodes and a day early. What are we talking about?
Speaker 1:
[10:05] All right, we're going to do an Icky or Picky. I'll read it.
Speaker 2:
[10:07] Icky or Picky. You're dating someone. You get the Ick. Are you being picky or is it a good enough Ick?
Speaker 1:
[10:13] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[10:14] I am gassy. I keep, when I come in here, I breathe. I have to give myself a little bit of empathy. Does this happen to you? I take such big breaths and I perform on this show so much that I get-
Speaker 1:
[10:28] You're like burpy or something?
Speaker 2:
[10:29] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[10:30] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[10:30] When do we start?
Speaker 1:
[10:31] I get burpy when I eat too fast.
Speaker 2:
[10:33] Eat too fast?
Speaker 1:
[10:33] Yeah, that causes a lot of burping.
Speaker 2:
[10:36] That's interesting. That's tougher than what I'm, I don't know. What would you rather?
Speaker 1:
[10:39] Do you want me to burp you? I've had a lot of experience burping in the past few weeks.
Speaker 2:
[10:44] We'll save that when I come stay at the house.
Speaker 1:
[10:46] Yeah. I'll burp the three of you.
Speaker 2:
[10:49] Yeah, burp us all.
Speaker 1:
[10:50] Emily just wants to be burped by a burper too.
Speaker 2:
[10:52] Put Emily down for a burping as well. She'd like one. I think she'd like one.
Speaker 1:
[10:56] Let's do it. All right. Dear J&J, Feather Feather, I have an itchier picky for you based on a disagreement with my mother-in-law. For context, my brother-
Speaker 2:
[11:04] The shrew.
Speaker 1:
[11:06] Yes. It's coming out. For context, my brother-in-law is in his mid to late 30s. I hate when people do that. Just call him 37.
Speaker 2:
[11:14] Right.
Speaker 1:
[11:15] Just call him 37 or 38. It's either 37 or 38.
Speaker 2:
[11:19] Right. What else could it be?
Speaker 1:
[11:21] That's it.
Speaker 2:
[11:21] Mid to late. Mid to late. I mean, in what context is that even usable?
Speaker 1:
[11:27] That means 35 to use between 35 and 40.
Speaker 2:
[11:30] I've heard mid to late my whole life, but like, was it just invented by an asshole?
Speaker 1:
[11:35] Who didn't know how to just say it? But if you're going to say mid to late, just say the year.
Speaker 2:
[11:38] Right. Why would we ever use mid to late is my question. Is there ever a scenario where we're saying mid to late forties, mid to late day? Like, why not just say it in any?
Speaker 1:
[11:50] Maybe it's like you're trying to say a range for someone you would date, but like, it's such a small range.
Speaker 2:
[11:56] Mid to late 100, yeah, I'm trying to think, is there ever a range of mid?
Speaker 1:
[12:00] Because 39 is late thirties. Right.
Speaker 2:
[12:02] Right, mid to late. But mid to late, 35 to 39, why not just say, why are we adding extra language?
Speaker 1:
[12:07] No, 39 is late. I think it's 37 and 38. 36 is mid.
Speaker 2:
[12:12] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[12:13] Yeah. I would say, I'm in my mid thirties. I'm 36 years old.
Speaker 2:
[12:16] Mid to late seems to be what people who are 38 say.
Speaker 1:
[12:18] I'll be 37, not mid to late thirties.
Speaker 2:
[12:20] Right, but you would say mid to late so that you could make people assume you're mid versus late. Do you know what I mean? It feels like a trick.
Speaker 1:
[12:30] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[12:31] Because you're like, oh, I'm mid to late thirties, or they're mid to late thirties. And it seems like what someone would say about someone who's older, that they're trying to set up with a friend to not tell them how old they are.
Speaker 1:
[12:40] I agree. Just say the name. I would say you're in your early forties.
Speaker 2:
[12:46] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[12:47] Is that how you would describe your age?
Speaker 2:
[12:48] No, I would say I'm 41.
Speaker 1:
[12:49] Right.
Speaker 2:
[12:50] But if I had to... I wouldn't want that.
Speaker 1:
[12:53] OK.
Speaker 2:
[12:53] I guess someone would go, oh, they're 41? I thought you said they're in their forties. Like, that sounds so different.
Speaker 1:
[12:58] Well, 41 and 49 feels very different.
Speaker 2:
[13:00] 49, if I am still running around with my head cut off at 49, like I am now, all of this will be for nothing.
Speaker 1:
[13:07] In your forties, I don't think is a good description.
Speaker 2:
[13:09] Right, 41.
Speaker 1:
[13:11] Early forties.
Speaker 2:
[13:11] Oh my god. Now I'm sweating. It's now gotten hotter and hotter.
Speaker 1:
[13:15] Well, thank you for writing in.
Speaker 2:
[13:16] I'm already 49.
Speaker 1:
[13:18] He used to be in the military, but he got out to go to med school. Nice. Between the military and med school, he moved around a lot and never stayed in one place long term. He will be starting his residency soon, meaning he will be living in one location for the next three years. Now that he's going to be more settled and earning an income again, he would like to have a girlfriend.
Speaker 2:
[13:37] Okay. Good for him. I like the way... Well, this 38-year-old...
Speaker 1:
[13:42] I'd like a girlfriend.
Speaker 2:
[13:43] I'd like... Now I'm ready.
Speaker 1:
[13:45] Yes. Here's the thing. He still sleeps in a twin bed. He says it's because it's easier to move, and he got it for free. I said he should probably get a grown-up bed because it would be an itch for women.
Speaker 2:
[13:56] He should also probably get a new story. That story. Talk about a more drying sentence.
Speaker 1:
[14:03] Got it for free from who? His mom?
Speaker 2:
[14:04] Right. Who's giving away beds?
Speaker 1:
[14:07] Yeah, what is he, a podcaster?
Speaker 2:
[14:08] Right.
Speaker 1:
[14:10] Remember that era?
Speaker 2:
[14:11] Oh, my God, I had...
Speaker 1:
[14:12] You get a free mattress every week.
Speaker 2:
[14:14] I was handing out beds like they were nothing. I was just like, you need a bed?
Speaker 1:
[14:18] Does anyone need a queen-size Leesa mattress?
Speaker 2:
[14:21] I think I was dating someone where I gave their family a bed.
Speaker 1:
[14:26] It's the golden age of podcasting. The golden...
Speaker 2:
[14:28] Right.
Speaker 1:
[14:28] Everyone got a bed.
Speaker 2:
[14:29] Here's the thing.
Speaker 1:
[14:31] We... Everyone got a Casper.
Speaker 2:
[14:33] This podcast, I think we're lucky for our growth. It never felt like we exploded on the scene.
Speaker 1:
[14:39] Lucky.
Speaker 2:
[14:40] Lucky us. But it never felt like we had that... There's got to be a podcast out there that went up and was getting all these mattresses, and then they had nothing. Right.
Speaker 1:
[14:50] All they had to show for it was 12 varying direct-to-consumer mattresses.
Speaker 2:
[14:56] And listen, I stand by everything I said in those mattress ads. They were great. There was not one mattress that I sat on that I was like, Who would want that? No, you need a good mattress.
Speaker 1:
[15:06] Good mattress, yeah. All right. Well.
Speaker 2:
[15:08] It's me defending past me.
Speaker 1:
[15:10] Anyway.
Speaker 2:
[15:10] Throw my mattress.
Speaker 1:
[15:11] I don't know how this guy got a free twin bed.
Speaker 2:
[15:14] Other than that, he says it's because it's easier to move and he got it for free. That might be birth control of a certain kind to some women.
Speaker 1:
[15:25] Not a good way to phrase it.
Speaker 2:
[15:26] Oh, is that your mattress? I got it for free.
Speaker 1:
[15:29] Yeah. So I said he should probably get a grown up bed because it would be an ich for women. My mother-in-law disagrees and says anyone who judges him based on his twin bed isn't worth a second date. So Ichi or Piki, a man in his 30s with a job, still sleeps in a twin bed. Sincerely, an Ich's sister-in-law.
Speaker 2:
[15:47] You know, this is like, this is almost like sitcom level classic mother-in-law speak. Anything my boy does is great. Yeah. And if they don't like it, they can go hit the sticks.
Speaker 1:
[16:00] They're not good enough for him.
Speaker 2:
[16:02] Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:
[16:03] This is like a water boy.
Speaker 2:
[16:04] Right. This is water boy. This is the retelling.
Speaker 1:
[16:08] Yeah. This is Kathy Bates.
Speaker 2:
[16:09] This is Kathy Bates. Totally. I think, you know, it's funny, like I see this Ich, you're picky. If you got brought home by a man, would you and you saw a twin bed.
Speaker 1:
[16:20] Yes. I mean, I would be like-
Speaker 2:
[16:21] Would you be immediate Ich out or what level of-
Speaker 1:
[16:26] I think even after college, I would be like, need a full size bed at least.
Speaker 2:
[16:32] What if you ask, why do you have a twin? Would you do that or would you-
Speaker 1:
[16:36] Well, I would say it would be a good way to make sure I didn't sleep with him. I'm not gonna sleep with you and then not, and then be on your twin bed with you.
Speaker 2:
[16:42] Yeah, that's, well, it's a good way to get a girl not to have to stay over.
Speaker 1:
[16:45] I mean, if she's okay with the, I don't know. I wouldn't, I don't think I would have sex with someone on a twin bed.
Speaker 2:
[16:51] Listen, I don't blame you for that. I don't-
Speaker 1:
[16:54] You're like, I would?
Speaker 2:
[16:54] I would have sex with a woman. If I got brought home to a woman's place, she had a twin bed, I would say it's the best of all worlds. We fuck, and then I go, hey, I'll get out of here. There's room for one.
Speaker 1:
[17:07] What if it was a inflatable twin bed?
Speaker 2:
[17:09] We'd fuck, and then I would say, and then I would say, hey, can you turn around while I try to get myself off of this bed that's on the floor because it's going to take me three?
Speaker 1:
[17:20] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[17:20] Huh, huh!
Speaker 1:
[17:21] Speaking of things that aren't an older man thing. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I would. I mean, I don't think I get serious.
Speaker 2:
[17:27] You wouldn't even give him the chance of an explanation?
Speaker 1:
[17:29] Yeah, I would ask.
Speaker 2:
[17:30] I would be like. Because I think this is...
Speaker 1:
[17:32] I would ask.
Speaker 2:
[17:33] You would ask.
Speaker 1:
[17:34] If that was his explanation, what he told the sister, that I got it for free and it's easier to move, no.
Speaker 2:
[17:40] And my mommy said, anyone who doesn't like my twin bed isn't good enough for me.
Speaker 1:
[17:46] Yeah. I mean, that's someone who's too enmeshed with their mom.
Speaker 2:
[17:49] Well, yeah, it is funny that like...
Speaker 1:
[17:53] If you had a twin bed, do you think your mom would say something to you?
Speaker 2:
[17:56] Like you need to get a bigger bed? She would say, she's yelling about my bed now. I have a king size bed.
Speaker 1:
[18:01] What does she want you to get?
Speaker 2:
[18:02] So...
Speaker 1:
[18:03] A California king?
Speaker 2:
[18:05] I have a bed that... So the house I have came fully furnished.
Speaker 1:
[18:10] Right.
Speaker 2:
[18:10] I walked in, they gave me all the furniture and it's like brand new furniture. And the one thing that's like broken, the beds, the slats underneath the bed are like, there's something wrong with them.
Speaker 1:
[18:23] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[18:23] So the bed kind of slopes down, but I sleep on it and I'm fine. And it's been okay, but it makes a good amount of noise when you move around on it.
Speaker 1:
[18:33] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[18:34] And, but it's a pain in the ass, because now I have to coordinate a new... I'm sure these places do it, furniture places do it, but...
Speaker 1:
[18:40] Take the old bed out.
Speaker 2:
[18:42] I gotta get the new one in and take it...
Speaker 1:
[18:43] Yeah, and it has to match. You wanna get a nice one.
Speaker 2:
[18:45] Right. And everything that you just said stops me from doing it. But now it's another thing my mom has on her list.
Speaker 1:
[18:54] How does she even know?
Speaker 2:
[18:56] Because she's walked in and said, what's wrong with the bed?
Speaker 1:
[18:59] Oh, she sees that it's...
Speaker 2:
[19:00] She sat on it and went, ah, you can hear it.
Speaker 1:
[19:03] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[19:04] But my mom loves a pop quiz. So if I go to dinner, she'll be like, where's the plumber? Did you get your cardiologist? What about the bed? So she's added it to the list of things that I fail.
Speaker 1:
[19:18] That you need to do.
Speaker 2:
[19:19] That I have to do, that I... And I say to her, I go, I'm a traveling clown who has to go on the road. I have a lot. I go, the one thing about moving close to my parents is they have forgotten that I have a job.
Speaker 1:
[19:34] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[19:34] They in no way think...
Speaker 1:
[19:35] Well, you're not working when you're there, so I could see why that would happen.
Speaker 2:
[19:39] Right. From what they can see.
Speaker 1:
[19:41] It's not like you're getting up early to go to work the next day.
Speaker 2:
[19:44] No, I'm not going into an office by those terms. I work. I have things that have to get done. Like, hey, they'll call me 12 times to get... The worst decision I ever made, and I'm telling this to people, do not teach your parents how to get through the Do Not Disturb.
Speaker 1:
[20:01] Oh, which is by calling multiple times.
Speaker 2:
[20:04] Just to keep calling.
Speaker 1:
[20:04] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[20:05] Don't tell them you have Do Not Disturb. Don't even bring it up to them. It is the worst mistake, because my parents, now, whenever I need the Do Not Disturb, they're calling through it.
Speaker 1:
[20:17] Right. Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 2:
[20:19] So, I add this to the list of complaints I have about moving to Florida, but I...
Speaker 1:
[20:24] I mean, that seems pretty low.
Speaker 2:
[20:27] Pretty low on the list, but my mom has seen my bed, and she would say...
Speaker 1:
[20:32] If you had a twin bed, she would say something.
Speaker 2:
[20:33] If I had a twin bed, she would be like, what are you doing with a twin bed? Who would ever... She would say, she would actually say, she'd go the reverse of this mother-in-law. My mom would go, who would ever wanna be with someone with a twin bed? My mom loves a question that is a judgment.
Speaker 1:
[20:47] I think that's preferable to a mom who's making excuses for their kid.
Speaker 2:
[20:51] Well, that's why I never bought all the feedback that I was in mesh with my mom. No one is a bigger...
Speaker 1:
[20:56] My mom hates me.
Speaker 2:
[20:57] Yeah, hates me. No one is a bigger critic than my parents. They are the biggest critics I have. So, as far as this, though, twin bed...
Speaker 1:
[21:09] Would you date a woman seriously who had a twin bed? At 37 or 38?
Speaker 2:
[21:16] No, I guess I would use that. That would be a pretty good built-in excuse for why we're just chilling. Well, if I dated a woman with a twin bed and her explanation was that it's easier to move and I got it for free, I would assume they're not really taking their pursuit of a boyfriend very seriously.
Speaker 1:
[21:35] Right.
Speaker 2:
[21:36] So, that's kind of like...
Speaker 1:
[21:37] Same for a man that you're dating, right?
Speaker 2:
[21:39] For a man especially.
Speaker 1:
[21:40] His life is not ready for... set up for a relationship. Literally, the minimum thing you would need to be in a relationship is have a bed that would fit two people in it.
Speaker 2:
[21:49] Absolute... Right. And well, here's where I'll let them off the hook. First of all, tell your brother-in-law, thank you for his service. He's a veteran.
Speaker 1:
[21:58] Yes, and a doctor.
Speaker 2:
[21:59] And a doctor. This guy's a total catch. So will women look over the fact that he has a twin bed? Yes. Let's just be honest here.
Speaker 1:
[22:11] Well, if he was like... I think the excuse of I've been moving a lot, and I've just had this bed, and then I've never... But now that I'm living somewhere for three years, I'm gonna get a different bed, that would be okay.
Speaker 2:
[22:24] Right. That's what I'm saying. We're on the same page. I just think the way this woman... The way the mother-in-law is looking at it is actually way off. He's missing out on women he would aspire to be with. Only to get women who see him as a box to check. He's actually shrinking his own pool. So this is an Ick, but he could explain it so much better than he's doing.
Speaker 1:
[22:56] Not sexy, of course.
Speaker 2:
[22:59] I think he could have a twin bed and also say, you know, I just got settled in this apartment and someone gave me the bed, and being in the Army, you want to be... You know, we depend on logistics a lot, and for now, this is good logistical... I don't know, he would use words like that.
Speaker 1:
[23:15] You want to be able to move, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[23:16] You want to be able to move and on the go. So like that, like operations...
Speaker 1:
[23:21] But you have to acknowledge that it's weird.
Speaker 2:
[23:22] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[23:23] If I saw someone with a twin bed and they didn't immediately say, yeah, it's crazy that I have a twin bed, here's why I have it, here's why I'm not gonna have it soon.
Speaker 2:
[23:31] Right, and if I'm the sister-in-law, how many years would you need to stay somewhere to have a regular adult size bed? Because he's like three years, three years seems like enough time to get a bed.
Speaker 1:
[23:44] I think one year.
Speaker 2:
[23:45] Right, one year, I'm with you.
Speaker 1:
[23:48] Twin bed is for your dorm at college.
Speaker 2:
[23:50] Right. Listen, or you're in a barrack.
Speaker 1:
[23:54] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[23:54] You know, so.
Speaker 1:
[23:55] That's like the equivalent in that situation.
Speaker 2:
[23:58] Yeah, it's an Ick.
Speaker 1:
[23:59] Icky.
Speaker 2:
[24:00] Especially considering how he's explaining it.
Speaker 1:
[24:03] And honestly, his relationship with his mother is now an Ick also. She's added the Ick by having that opinion.
Speaker 2:
[24:10] Right. All right, let's do an e-mail. You ready? Yeah, J and J love the podcast have been listening for a few years now. I started listening while I was in a relationship, and now I'm single again. Welcome back, honey. We're here to help. Here's your vibrator.
Speaker 1:
[24:29] Hand him out.
Speaker 2:
[24:32] So what if that was the way you came back to the podcast? I guess you're back listening again.
Speaker 1:
[24:39] That's what we hand out. Right in. We're running a sweepstake.
Speaker 2:
[24:45] But now I have a question for you guys that I haven't heard you talk about, so I thought I'd throw it out there. My ex and I broke up last summer in August. He wasn't abusive or a bad person, but we just weren't right for each other, and he definitely had some growing up to do. The romance was just gone. When we broke up, I didn't mind that he stayed for a while as a roommate because there wasn't really bad blood, and to be honest, I needed help with the rent. I also know he needed the place. It is almost a year later, and he is still living with me in his own room. We get along fine, and I'm not in a hurry to kick him out. He is tentative. So you didn't do the audiobook, did you?
Speaker 1:
[25:22] I didn't, no.
Speaker 2:
[25:23] This is what I would do with the audiobook. You say it over and over? There was some words that I would like 15 times.
Speaker 1:
[25:31] I'm surprised they couldn't just get AI to capture your voice and then have it work.
Speaker 2:
[25:36] Did you already have a talk about how much this scares the shit out of me?
Speaker 1:
[25:38] Yeah, it scares you. But if it would save you 100 hours, would you be willing to do it?
Speaker 2:
[25:44] You know, let's put a pin in this for two seconds. I did a voiceover for a show that's, I think it's still on.
Speaker 1:
[25:51] Wasn't it your dream?
Speaker 2:
[25:54] My dream was to be a cartoon in a movie. This was for Love Undercover, which was like this.
Speaker 1:
[25:59] Love Undercover.
Speaker 2:
[26:00] Love Undercover. Love Undercover. Love Undercover. So when I came in to initially do the voiceover, it was the best job I've ever had. They were complimentary. It was fun. It was easy. It paid good money. So when I did this, they were like, we've already done your part with AIU. And they're like, and I was like, what? And they're like, we have it done. And they played A.I.Me for me. And this was like two years ago and it was really good.
Speaker 1:
[26:27] So you didn't even have to do anything. They're like licensing your voice.
Speaker 2:
[26:31] I wasn't going to say that. I was like, well, let's make sure I get paid. You know, like, but it's scary.
Speaker 1:
[26:35] No, they're paying to license your voice.
Speaker 2:
[26:37] You would hope. But you don't know, you know, in Turkey, they could be, you know, Jordana. There's enough of you out there, they could have Jordana Abraham as our spokeswoman.
Speaker 1:
[26:45] Yeah, they could totally. It could be selling some weird shit.
Speaker 2:
[26:48] Right.
Speaker 1:
[26:49] Twin beds.
Speaker 2:
[26:50] Right. Jordana, you said twin beds are an Ick, but here's you selling Turkish twin beds.
Speaker 1:
[26:58] There you go. Yeah. No, but again, like I do feel like that would save you a lot of time.
Speaker 2:
[27:03] No, I...
Speaker 1:
[27:04] You don't want it. You want the real deal.
Speaker 2:
[27:06] I did not do Walking Red Flag with AI.
Speaker 1:
[27:09] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[27:10] Okay, so people know. Buy it.
Speaker 1:
[27:12] No ghost reader.
Speaker 2:
[27:13] No, well, I did act outs. There were parts where I did the voice of a mom, and I'd be like, honey, you need to... Yeah, I would do...
Speaker 1:
[27:21] A one-man show.
Speaker 2:
[27:21] Yeah, I really did all... I did old people, hello, young man, you're not married. Like I have different voices I do throughout the whole thing.
Speaker 1:
[27:30] You're like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire. Hello. I do voices.
Speaker 2:
[27:37] All right, ready? It is almost a year later, he's living with me in his own room. We get along fine and I'm not in a hurry to kick him out. He is tentatively planning to move out in the summer. Before you say something like, I don't think she's over this guy, I want to add a couple extra details. Okay, stopped us in our tracks. I'm 37 and I could kick him out, but I do not want to have another roommate ever again. I want my own place. So once he's gone, I have no plans to rent the extra room out. But until I finish school, I'm not really in a financial position to do that. So I could either wait about six months to have my own place or kick him out now and deal with the difficulty of finding another roommate. My question is, is it out of the question for me to put myself out there and start dating again while living with my ex? If you met someone on a dating app and they told you they were living with an ex, would it be a deal breaker? Should I just wait until he's gone and this whole situation has wrapped up? PS., you may be wondering why he hasn't moved out. And while I can't say 100% that he has no feelings for me, I think he's mostly just too lazy to leave and would end up living in his car. No joke. So please don't ask why I dated him unless you're prepared to invite me on the podcast. Sincerely, conveniently cohabitating.
Speaker 1:
[28:48] I would love to get into that on an episode.
Speaker 2:
[28:51] I wonder why they fell out of love. He's willing to just live in his car and has no drive.
Speaker 1:
[28:57] Well, do you want to tell us why they dated in the first place?
Speaker 2:
[29:00] Right.
Speaker 1:
[29:00] Yes. Okay.
Speaker 2:
[29:01] I don't know. He said a lot of nice things and they ended up getting comfortable in a loveless relationship.
Speaker 1:
[29:08] I think as a woman, this is like a slightly different conversation, I think, for a heterosexual woman and a heterosexual man.
Speaker 2:
[29:14] Totally.
Speaker 1:
[29:15] I think men will still go out with her if she's living with her ex, but I wouldn't go out with a man who was living with his ex-girlfriend looking for a relationship.
Speaker 2:
[29:25] Let me add on to this. Men will still go out with her and not be affected as to whether you could be in a serious relationship with them or not. That will not even come into their thought process. So she's good. And it sounds like she's made up her mind before writing the email. I mean, she's saying, before you ask this, before you ask that, it sounds like she wants this apartment for when she graduates. And she's just going to have to stick it out until that happens. And I think-
Speaker 1:
[29:51] The reasoning does make sense to me.
Speaker 2:
[29:53] The reasoning is all that matters when you have something that's peculiar or different in the terms of society's judgment.
Speaker 1:
[30:02] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[30:03] The reasoning here, we dated, it didn't work out. I think her biggest problem is the way she describes the relationship. To her, I think she has to get used to telling her own story and how she sounds. When you say, my ex and I broke up last summer in August, he wasn't abusive or a bad person. Why is that the first-
Speaker 1:
[30:25] That's the bar, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[30:26] You can break up with- I didn't think that when I thought you broke up.
Speaker 1:
[30:30] Well, that's what women sometimes need to feel like they can leave someone who's willing to commit and great in a number of ways. I think women have to do a lot more convincing to leave something okay than men do.
Speaker 2:
[30:46] Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
[30:46] And like I said, women are always like, please change, please change, please change. They want to keep the relationship going. And men are kind of like secretly thinking about the fact that they think you're just okay for like a long time.
Speaker 2:
[30:57] Right. And she even writes at the end, like that he's not 100 percent. If you and while I can't say 100 percent he has no feelings for me. So she has a guy living in her apartment who has some feelings for her still.
Speaker 1:
[31:13] Right.
Speaker 2:
[31:13] That she's actively turning down. And I'm sure for her, she's like, I want to go back out dating and people, she's assuming people could go, but you got a good one at home. You got a guy who's willing to live in his car at home.
Speaker 1:
[31:27] Right. So wants to live with you.
Speaker 2:
[31:28] Right.
Speaker 1:
[31:29] Are you sure?
Speaker 2:
[31:29] And it's like, well, no, it seems like he's not really attractive to her anymore and that's fine.
Speaker 1:
[31:35] Would you date someone seriously who is still living with their ex?
Speaker 2:
[31:39] Yeah. Based on this story being told, if someone was living with their ex and they were like, they're going to move out in a year. After that, I want my own place.
Speaker 1:
[31:48] A year is a long time.
Speaker 2:
[31:50] It's a long time already.
Speaker 1:
[31:51] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[31:52] They're moving on to it. They're almost at a year.
Speaker 1:
[31:54] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[31:55] It's a long time, but I wouldn't...
Speaker 1:
[31:57] I think if it was a year from when I met them, that would be too long. If it was like the end of the year, they're moving out in the next couple months.
Speaker 2:
[32:04] I do think this is way different for a woman. I think the idea of like, I think...
Speaker 1:
[32:09] It wouldn't bother you.
Speaker 2:
[32:10] It wouldn't bother me because it's like, okay, all this does, I'm not in a rush myself.
Speaker 1:
[32:16] Right.
Speaker 2:
[32:16] You know, like...
Speaker 1:
[32:17] Whereas me, I'd be like, I don't know if they're ready to be like moving on to a serious relationship. That's what I'm looking for because they still live with their ex. It just seems like they're still enmeshed with their ex, literally, while living together.
Speaker 2:
[32:29] Even less than that. Let's say, if I was living with my ex, what rush am I in for anything?
Speaker 1:
[32:35] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[32:36] Where does time play into my life? And I do think you gotta have... I think, for me, this is also the case. You gotta be aware of the time and space of the universe. If you're dating someone who has no thought on where they are on earth at this present date, then they're not really thinking of that for anything. So like, Jared, you're 41, oh my God, 49 is different than 41. Yeah, I don't know. That's pretty wild. Like, that does, that's something that's on my mind. So I would think that me at 41 going, wow, 49, yeah, I would hope I was moved on with my life. That's a thought I'm having. You know, if you go out with someone, they go, yeah, I don't know, they'll move out in a year. But I am looking for something serious. I would go, those two aren't really...
Speaker 1:
[33:29] Right, they don't really work in the same sentence.
Speaker 2:
[33:32] Right. So, while I wouldn't count this as a deal breaker for a woman, like, the way she explained it would be enough for me if I liked her enough.
Speaker 1:
[33:43] Right. Yeah, I think it would be a big red flag for me.
Speaker 2:
[33:47] But I also have dated women where I was like, okay, good, also, they're going through some shit, too.
Speaker 1:
[33:54] They're not in a rush.
Speaker 2:
[33:55] Right.
Speaker 1:
[33:55] Buys you some time.
Speaker 2:
[33:56] It does.
Speaker 1:
[33:57] And you can also put that in your back pocket if you need to break up with them.
Speaker 2:
[34:00] Right.
Speaker 1:
[34:01] I just don't think you're ready.
Speaker 2:
[34:02] Right. I don't think we're ready. I'm not ready. And then they go, well, I'm ready. And I'd be like, well, I would now be like, in the court of public opinion.
Speaker 1:
[34:10] Right. You still live with the old ex-boyfriend.
Speaker 2:
[34:12] How ready could you be?
Speaker 1:
[34:14] Right. Well, that's why I would be worried also about dating a guy like that, because I feel like he would bring that up, and that would be a card he can pull.
Speaker 2:
[34:21] He will bring that up even without being manipulative.
Speaker 1:
[34:25] Right. Well, it would be true.
Speaker 2:
[34:26] At some point, if he broke up with you, you go, and this living situation, I just need to get it taken care of before I can concentrate on a woman.
Speaker 1:
[34:34] Right.
Speaker 2:
[34:34] I would say that just flowed out of me just now.
Speaker 1:
[34:38] Yeah. You said it very-
Speaker 2:
[34:39] I said it pretty convincingly.
Speaker 1:
[34:41] Pretty well.
Speaker 2:
[34:45] All right. Let's play some games. Red Flag or Dealbreaker, it's the game that's sweeping the country. You're dating someone, you go on a date, one thing happens. Everything's great. One thing happens. Is it a red flag or is it a deal breaker?
Speaker 1:
[34:56] Right. Is it enough to end it?
Speaker 2:
[34:59] Go for it.
Speaker 1:
[34:59] I'll read it. Hi, J&J. Love you guys.
Speaker 2:
[35:01] We'll have AI Jordana read it.
Speaker 1:
[35:02] Yes. I wish. Hi, J&J. Love you guys. You guys got me through a really tough breakup a few years ago, and I've been a loyal subscriber ever since. Thanks.
Speaker 2:
[35:11] We gave her that vibrator.
Speaker 1:
[35:13] Got you back out there.
Speaker 2:
[35:14] Got her back out there.
Speaker 1:
[35:15] A few years ago when I went on a first date with a guy, and in the nicest way possible, I knew there was something feminine about him the second he opened his mouth. We had a really nice time and had a lot in common, but I couldn't shake my initial feeling of uncertainty about this.
Speaker 2:
[35:27] Okay.
Speaker 1:
[35:28] The next day at the brunch table, of course, I was telling my brother and my cousins that I went on a date with this guy who was really great, but there was something feminine about him that I couldn't put my finger on. My brother, who was gay, said, let me see his profile. I pulled it up on my phone and with one look, my brother gasps and goes, oh my God, I matched with this guy too. We all burst out hysterically laughing and my brother and I started comparing conversations with this person that we had both been talking to on the apps. This guy clearly has a very specific type, my cousin said, hysterically laughing, and great taste, my brother added. On the one hand, I couldn't believe that this was even a possibility, but on the other hand, I was just relieved that my gaydar was working properly. So red flagger deal breaker, he matches with you and your brother on the dating apps. It was a deal breaker for me. Don't get me wrong, we love a bisexual king, but I just couldn't risk a lifetime of sexual tension between my partner and my brother at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Can't wait to hear what you guys think. Love and incest is not best, Betch.
Speaker 2:
[36:26] Wonderful, Emel. This is like a modern family episode. Like I could see Cam and, Cam wasn't single, but if Cam was single and Sarah Hyland after she'd gone to college.
Speaker 1:
[36:41] Yeah, so it would be more like Claire and her brother was, Mitchell. Yeah, Claire and Mitchell dating the same, if she was like divorced.
Speaker 2:
[36:50] This could have been a flashback to them in college or high school. Yeah. Honestly, it probably was a storyline on modern family that they would talk about. Yeah, is this real? Well, I've had this happen.
Speaker 1:
[37:02] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[37:03] Not in the, you know, I've had this happen with my brother.
Speaker 1:
[37:06] Were you matched with the same person?
Speaker 2:
[37:07] I matched with someone that messaged me. It's actually in the book.
Speaker 1:
[37:11] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[37:12] And I got, I hate it. I was angry about it. We met, we matched, and then they messaged me, Hey, I've already hooked up with your brother. I just want to let you know I'm a big fan.
Speaker 1:
[37:19] You've talked about this on the show. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[37:20] And I was like, what an annoying, I didn't need to hear that.
Speaker 1:
[37:25] Like, just don't, right. But she was like, but I couldn't go out with you. I can't, I don't think I can go out with you because I've already met, like.
Speaker 2:
[37:30] Right. I didn't need to hear that. I didn't need that in my head. You know, like I just told you you're hot. Oh, I don't think you're hot, but I do think your brother was fun to hook up with, and good luck with everything. Like, that's not how you would talk in person.
Speaker 1:
[37:47] What if you had a sister and she had matched with your sister? Same thing?
Speaker 2:
[37:51] Huh. I guess I only thought of this from the buy male way, and I was like, I don't think, like this guy that matched with both, like, I don't think it's as easy for him. For who?
Speaker 1:
[38:03] For the guy?
Speaker 2:
[38:04] The buy guy, I don't think has an easy time as the buy woman. If I had heard that my sister matched with a woman that I matched with, I guess it would be weird. I've never had a sister, so I don't know how that would hit me, but I would assume that would hit me in like a...
Speaker 1:
[38:21] I still think it would be weird. I agree with the sexual tension, but just no way, because a match is sort of like, we both are sexually attracted to each other.
Speaker 2:
[38:28] Right. That is what you're announcing.
Speaker 1:
[38:29] All it really does. And so the fact that that's already out there is weird. I mean, if I met them in person and we fell in love, and then I found out like a year later that they matched with my sibling, it wouldn't be like a deal breaker.
Speaker 2:
[38:40] If you found out that Mike had matched with John on a dating app.
Speaker 1:
[38:48] Yeah, that might be different.
Speaker 2:
[38:49] Like, I mean, let's put this in real terms.
Speaker 1:
[38:51] Okay, if I found out he matched with one of my sisters, like, I think that would be, and they never met, and they just matched.
Speaker 2:
[38:59] Right.
Speaker 1:
[39:00] Well, it is different. That's kind of what we're saying. Whenever I match with my brother, yeah, it would be like a little, I mean, that's also like incorporating so that someone is a bisexual person as opposed to like maybe what I thought they were, which is like heterosexual. That's something else I would have to consider.
Speaker 2:
[39:15] Right. No, it's just funny that she's like, we love a bisexual king. I'm like, well, no, you don't. Like, I don't mean to be the killjoy, but like.
Speaker 1:
[39:23] But I do think it's different going into it than if you found out, like, let's say she was like, she went out with this guy and they dated, and then she found out a year later that he matched with her, that he was bisexual, and he matched with her brother, and that's like, she knew that he was bi the whole time. She might not care.
Speaker 2:
[39:39] She might not. I would bet against that, considering just what I've, the data I've consumed from women.
Speaker 1:
[39:49] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[39:49] You know, I just, I think that would be a very interesting email to hear the perspective of a person, because that's not really like, generally like a nice thing to say.
Speaker 1:
[40:00] I agree.
Speaker 2:
[40:01] You know, like, but that's kind of what this podcast is for, to be like.
Speaker 1:
[40:04] Uncomfortable conversations. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[40:06] Right. So I think it's interesting, I think it's an interesting, like, King Solomon's debate, you know, like, but I do think, you know, it's funny, it's just, I just think it's so funny to be like, we love, you know, she's giving an opinion that the internet has told her to have.
Speaker 1:
[40:21] Right. It's not about him being bisexual.
Speaker 2:
[40:23] Right. And I think it totally is about him being bisexual.
Speaker 1:
[40:27] Right. So you think like, if she dated this guy and really liked this, like, you think the bisexual thing would stop her from going out with him rather than the, the fact that it was her brother.
Speaker 2:
[40:37] I would, I don't want to make assumptions for her, but she did go on a date with a guy and didn't like, liked everything, but it's, you know, that he had a feminine vibe. You know, so I would assume that, that would be considered feminine to her. So, I don't know.
Speaker 1:
[40:54] It's hard to, it's hard to untangle all of it.
Speaker 2:
[40:56] Right. This is, if you want to look, well, it is funny that, like, I'm being a kind of a killjoy. I'm being a little bit of a...
Speaker 1:
[41:03] No, I think you're being like...
Speaker 2:
[41:04] I'm bringing up reality.
Speaker 1:
[41:05] I think you're bringing up the reality of the situation for many people.
Speaker 2:
[41:09] Right. Right.
Speaker 1:
[41:09] Which feels achy to say.
Speaker 2:
[41:11] Right. And I feel for, like, there is a bisexual guy out there who is on both apps.
Speaker 1:
[41:16] Yeah. Or as, I don't know, can you be, like, does it say you're bisexual if you're on, like, if you can, can you go on, like...
Speaker 2:
[41:23] She didn't know.
Speaker 1:
[41:24] Right.
Speaker 2:
[41:25] So, but he's playing, he's doing his best, he's having his best bisexual life on the dating apps right now. So, you can be seen by both sexes. Good for him, but I'm like, that's gonna be, you know, difficult for him.
Speaker 1:
[41:40] Right. Have you ever seen someone's, like, sister on the app? And then, like...
Speaker 2:
[41:46] Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:
[41:46] Would you swipe left?
Speaker 2:
[41:48] I've seen sisters... Well, sometimes... No, sometimes you're like, I've always thought she was cute.
Speaker 1:
[41:54] Even though you, like, hooked up with her sister?
Speaker 2:
[41:57] Oh, I thought of, like, a man's sister.
Speaker 1:
[42:00] Oh, no.
Speaker 2:
[42:01] A woman's sister?
Speaker 1:
[42:01] Yeah, a woman's sister.
Speaker 2:
[42:03] I have had this happen.
Speaker 1:
[42:04] Would you swipe...
Speaker 2:
[42:05] Not knowing.
Speaker 1:
[42:06] Okay, if you don't know, it's different. But if you knew...
Speaker 2:
[42:07] No, I matched with someone that was someone's sister that I had already hooked up with, and I was like... And then I didn't realize until later on, and I was like, I feel like I'm being a jerk. And then when I realized, I was like, I kind of just backed away from it.
Speaker 1:
[42:20] For sure. Unless she dumped you, and then maybe it's okay.
Speaker 2:
[42:23] So it's a deal breaker for you, if they match with your...
Speaker 1:
[42:26] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[42:28] That's another thing. I'm not trying to say I'm above this woman. It would be a deal breaker for me. Right.
Speaker 1:
[42:33] I do think it would be weird, even if it was like, again, my sister, just knowing that the two of them have announced through this app that they find each other sexually attractive. I don't know if it would be enough. I think it'd definitely be a red flag. I don't know if it would be enough to do it. I think the bisexual thing, I probably would add another layer to it, and it might be too much for me.
Speaker 2:
[42:52] Let's do another.
Speaker 1:
[42:53] Okay.
Speaker 2:
[42:54] J&J Featherfeather, long time listener, thanks for always keeping me entertained when it comes to the tries and trips of dating. I recently went on a first date with a guy I met on Hinge. I proposed getting a drink and encounter with dinner. Not usually my vibe for a first date, but I agreed. He said he'd get a reservation and ended up snagging a last minute reservation at one of Philly's most expensive restaurants with a pre-fixed three-course meal, which I found a little intense. He then kept offering to send me an Uber to pick me up for the date, which I declined. On the date, we ordered several cocktails at his encouragement, and then when picking our three courses, he added a second entree a la carte. All in all, the date cost easily $400 to $500. Boy, Philly, a lot cheaper there.
Speaker 1:
[43:39] Yeah. Here, though, this is why people live in Philly. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[43:45] Which in a city like Philly feels wildly unnecessary. Yeah, I mean, there must have been a lot of people in their sweat suits there.
Speaker 1:
[43:52] Is that what they wear everywhere?
Speaker 2:
[43:53] Yeah, Philly and Boston have very similar styles.
Speaker 1:
[43:56] Yeah, it's not exactly the fashion capital of the country.
Speaker 2:
[44:00] All those people in eagle sweatshirts. I let him pick up the bill as it was all his idea. Yeah, he better pick up the bill. But the whole situation made me feel itchy. So, red flag or deal breaker, he overspends on a first date, thanks for everything you do, a cheap date. What do you think?
Speaker 1:
[44:15] Yeah, I agree. This would be, I don't know if it would be a deal breaker. If he was like extremely rich, it like wouldn't be, I guess it wouldn't be a deal breaker. It would still be kind of a red flag. But if he's extremely rich and that's just how he does everything. I don't like dinner on a first date with anyone, but I agree. I think that the expansiveness of the date kind of makes it feel like the stakes are higher, which I don't like for a first date either. That's why I don't like it.
Speaker 2:
[44:44] I think it's rude.
Speaker 1:
[44:45] He's rude.
Speaker 2:
[44:45] Yeah, I think it's totally rude to put her in this position where she's sitting there like, what do I owe this guy? And she doesn't have any history on him to know. It's a hinge guy. What you're saying is totally reasonable. Hey, like honestly, if this was, what's the Philly, Brad, this was Bradley Cooper. He's from Philly, right? Bradley Cooper?
Speaker 1:
[45:11] I thought he was Canadian.
Speaker 2:
[45:13] He's from PA. He made the movie about Philly. He's Mr. Philly. If you were on a date with Bradley Cooper, you match with Bradley Cooper on Hinge, and he's like, hey, I think you're great.
Speaker 1:
[45:28] You seem like a good vibe.
Speaker 2:
[45:30] But I also, I'm Bradley Cooper, and I can't just waltz around Philly. So I'm gonna send a car, and I'm gonna just take you out for a night that would be comfortable for me, and I hope you're okay with that.
Speaker 1:
[45:42] Well, that makes it a little better.
Speaker 2:
[45:43] That makes it totally better, because there's only so many restaurants Bradley Cooper could be taken care of like that.
Speaker 1:
[45:48] And also Bradley Cooper is so rich to me that this doesn't feel like a big splurge to him, and I would know that.
Speaker 2:
[45:55] And you have some information to know that.
Speaker 1:
[45:57] Right, the regular hinge guy, I think it's cheesy unless he is extremely wealthy, almost. It's like you're almost using it as a card.
Speaker 2:
[46:05] That's why it's rude.
Speaker 1:
[46:06] To be like, she owes you something.
Speaker 2:
[46:08] You're making up for your personality wherever you think it needs to be made up for.
Speaker 1:
[46:12] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[46:13] Yeah, no, this is a deal breaker for me.
Speaker 1:
[46:15] I agree, and sending the Uber, stop.
Speaker 2:
[46:18] It's also like, it's like when someone over-compliments you. Right. When someone gives me a million compliments, I'm like, shut the up.
Speaker 1:
[46:25] I feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:
[46:25] Yeah, like how about a real conversation?
Speaker 1:
[46:27] Are you expecting me to give this back to you? Like, what do you want?
Speaker 2:
[46:30] I have nowhere to go here. You've actually painted me into a corner that I can't really get out of with normal conversation.
Speaker 1:
[46:37] Right. I agree. That's a no.
Speaker 2:
[46:39] Deal breaker.
Speaker 1:
[46:40] All right, let's do one more.
Speaker 2:
[46:42] One more.
Speaker 1:
[46:43] Okay. Hi, JaneJay, long time listener, first time writing in. I went on a first date last night and immediately had to write to my favorite duo to hear their thoughts. I'm getting back in the dating world after taking time off the apps and went to drinks with a guy from Hinch. On paper and in person, most things seem good so far. Similar interests, general vibe is easy together, et cetera. The only thing is that he has a pretty noticeable lisp when he talks. As a speech pathologist, sorry, Jared. We know you hate speech pathologists.
Speaker 2:
[47:10] Yeah, I'm not a big speech pathologist guy.
Speaker 1:
[47:12] This is hugely an ectomy and I fear-
Speaker 2:
[47:14] This is a long running opinion on this podcast.
Speaker 1:
[47:16] This is hugely an ectomy and I fear I can't see myself long term with someone with a lisp that is very fixable with speech therapy, lol. I would love to know your thoughts. Is it a red flag or a deal breaker that the guy you're seeing checks all the boxes but he has a noticeable lisp. Much love and thank you for your dating wisdom. Wow, it's never the speech pathologist that you think would have the issue.
Speaker 2:
[47:36] Right, you would think-
Speaker 1:
[47:37] Yes, I will say-
Speaker 2:
[47:38] I can teach him.
Speaker 1:
[47:40] I can fix him. That would be my thought if he was great in every other way but he has this lisp, I would, if I was a speech pathologist, be like, I could work with this personally.
Speaker 2:
[47:50] Well, that's why speech pathologists are liars and-
Speaker 1:
[47:53] That's why we hate them, yeah.
Speaker 2:
[47:54] That's why we don't like them. This email actually proves my point.
Speaker 1:
[47:58] That they stink?
Speaker 2:
[47:59] Yeah, this stinks.
Speaker 1:
[48:04] I will say, as someone who got braces before their wedding and had a lisp, if you recall, you can find the episode where I have the full- Jared cannot control his laughter.
Speaker 2:
[48:13] Disgusting.
Speaker 1:
[48:16] I had a full lisp for probably, like a really heavy one for probably a month and then like a mild one for probably like six months.
Speaker 2:
[48:22] It was pretty brutal.
Speaker 1:
[48:23] That was tough. That was a tough time for me. And it did give me a lot of empathy-
Speaker 2:
[48:27] For all of us.
Speaker 1:
[48:28] Yes, for all of us. As a podca- as a podcaster, maybe not the best move, but it did give me a lot of empathy for people with speech impediments or lisp, because it's really hard. You literally cannot control it. Like if you would, if you could, if you could speak without one, you would. Right. I got some mean reviews on the podcast during that time, including one person who wrote their review in a lisp.
Speaker 2:
[48:49] In a lisp.
Speaker 1:
[48:50] Making fun of me.
Speaker 2:
[48:51] I think I remember that.
Speaker 1:
[48:52] I still remember it to this day.
Speaker 2:
[48:54] Commitment to the bit.
Speaker 1:
[48:55] Yes.
Speaker 2:
[48:55] I mean, good for them. Well, this is why this is, the way this is written is like.
Speaker 1:
[49:02] You would think she would have empathy for someone with a speech impediment.
Speaker 2:
[49:05] Well, the box, you would think she would.
Speaker 1:
[49:08] Right.
Speaker 2:
[49:08] If she liked him, she would be like, well, I can help him as well.
Speaker 1:
[49:12] Right.
Speaker 2:
[49:13] That's why I don't think any speech pathologist got into it for the love of speech pathology. That was always my issue with speech pathologists.
Speaker 1:
[49:20] That you don't believe they care about their clients.
Speaker 2:
[49:22] They don't give a shit about their clients. I would actually...
Speaker 1:
[49:26] Did you have a bad experience with a speech pathologist?
Speaker 2:
[49:28] When I moved to New York way back 40 years ago.
Speaker 1:
[49:31] Tell us about your traumatic speech pathology story.
Speaker 2:
[49:34] All these people went to speech pathology schools, and they would all, I've done this bit before. They would all explain to you why they did it. Oh, you can go to graduate school, but you don't have to go to med school, and you can go work at a school. A school system has to pay you really big wages, and you don't have to work in the summer. They all had these other reasons.
Speaker 1:
[49:57] You don't believe that they care.
Speaker 2:
[50:00] Well, just like I don't believe this woman's email.
Speaker 1:
[50:02] I don't believe this woman cares.
Speaker 2:
[50:03] He checks all the boxes. Here's what she wrote. Red flag, the guy you're seeing checks all the boxes, but he has a noticeable lisp? I think you're lying to the world.
Speaker 1:
[50:15] You don't think he checks all the boxes?
Speaker 2:
[50:16] No, you were unattracted to him. You're not willing to admit that this lisp turns you off, and you're trying to like paint yourself as this like, oh, this is so funny. I mean, it's just the lisp. He's one lisp away. No, he isn't.
Speaker 1:
[50:31] Right.
Speaker 2:
[50:31] You don't like him.
Speaker 1:
[50:33] But maybe she would like him if he didn't have the lisp.
Speaker 2:
[50:35] I think she would. I don't think that this is...
Speaker 1:
[50:38] Right.
Speaker 2:
[50:39] I think I would call this picky, in an icier picky.
Speaker 1:
[50:41] If it was an icier picky, you would say it was picky.
Speaker 2:
[50:43] Right. Because it's like, I think people have gotten over other things. And you can fix this. You have the power, supposedly.
Speaker 1:
[50:52] Right. The fact that she can fix it, to me, like, is weird that she wouldn't just date... If she truly, if he was great in every other way, why she wouldn't date him and help him out.
Speaker 2:
[51:02] So that means she doesn't really... She's not into him. Because the other thing... I guess you could say, well, why hasn't he fixed it? Is he not thoughtful? That's like... It's kind of like...
Speaker 1:
[51:12] You can't really ask.
Speaker 2:
[51:13] Well, if anyone has the skill to ask or know what the insecurities are that go with a lisp, it's someone who works with people who has lisps.
Speaker 1:
[51:23] Right.
Speaker 2:
[51:23] Wouldn't you think she would have the tool chest full of tools to work through this with them?
Speaker 1:
[51:31] You can be turned off for any reason.
Speaker 2:
[51:34] That's... No, but that's the point. She's using this as for her laughs.
Speaker 1:
[51:42] Right. She wants us to justify it.
Speaker 2:
[51:44] Right. I just don't buy it. Like all speech pathologists.
Speaker 1:
[51:48] Be better at your job.
Speaker 2:
[51:49] Yeah. Bunch of liars. Grifters. Speech pathologists.
Speaker 1:
[51:54] Do you ever run into any in person?
Speaker 2:
[51:55] I try to avoid them. Anytime I can.
Speaker 1:
[51:57] What's worse? Speech pathologist or a teacher?
Speaker 2:
[52:02] It's tough to say. No, teachers. I love teachers, because now I do get a lot of teachers at the shows that are like, I'm a teacher.
Speaker 1:
[52:09] A lot of teachers in the world.
Speaker 2:
[52:10] Yeah, a lot of teachers. I'm a big teacher fan. It was, could I date one?
Speaker 1:
[52:15] Right. No.
Speaker 2:
[52:17] No.
Speaker 1:
[52:19] But at least you respect them.
Speaker 2:
[52:20] I'm joking.
Speaker 1:
[52:21] Unlike speech pathologists.
Speaker 2:
[52:22] The only thing the t-shirt thing came up was because it was asking what profession, and I had to give one, and that's the one I gave.
Speaker 1:
[52:29] Okay. Emily's not a teacher, right?
Speaker 2:
[52:31] No.
Speaker 1:
[52:32] Or a speech pathologist.
Speaker 2:
[52:33] Thank goodness.
Speaker 1:
[52:36] All right, well, we did it.
Speaker 2:
[52:38] We solved dating again, and we only offended a good portion of our audience.
Speaker 1:
[52:42] Yeah, I think it's fair.
Speaker 2:
[52:43] All the Philadelphia speech pathologists, please don't leave us. Yeah, but this was great. Always a pleasure.
Speaker 1:
[52:50] We'll see you on Friday.
Speaker 2:
[52:51] Boom.