transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] This episode is brought to you by Colgate Optic White. You know that unexplainable it factor, that smile that lights up a room, that wow? Well, it turns out there is chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste removes 15 years of deep set stains when you brush twice daily for two weeks.

Speaker 2:
[00:18] How?

Speaker 1:
[00:19] The clinically proven formula is powered by Colgate's hydrogen peroxide complex. It works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of WOW. Colgate Optic White. Welcome to Bachelor Party. I'm Juliet Litman. Callie Curry is on the way home from Coachella. She couldn't make it today, but don't you worry, people. We got Jared Freid here. J-Train in the house. How are you, man?

Speaker 2:
[00:59] Great to be here. Listen, I've never been happier to not be at Coachella and also wish Callie well at Coachella. I'm at that age. You know the age where I'm like, good for them.

Speaker 1:
[01:12] This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. Let's talk it factor. You see it on the red carpet. A smile that lights up a room. That wow. You know, there's actually some chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series toothpaste removes 15 years of deep set stains when you brush twice daily for two weeks. How? The clinically proven formula is powered by Colgate's hydrogen peroxide complex. It works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White. Just to be clear, she's kind of at that age too, but she's a little bit younger than us, so she's still got time.

Speaker 2:
[01:53] Well, I think it's like the evolution. If we look at it, it's like it's the I want to go, and then it's like everyone who goes is awful, and then it's like good for them.

Speaker 1:
[02:05] I never really wanted to go. One of the best things about hitting 40 and one of the best things about my friends having kids is that I never love staying out late, like once in a while, and I did have fun. There was a short time where I had fun from like the age of like 27 to 31. I think I had a four-year period where I was like, yeah, let's party. But it's been a long time, and even before that, even in college, it just was sort of like compulsory. So I'm hitting my stride. I went to a movie at 9:15 a.m. yesterday. I had the time of my life.

Speaker 2:
[02:37] 9:15 a.m.? Well, I am with you. I'm on the morning train. I think that's, what you're saying is basically like, the pressure to stay out late is gone. Like everyone's moved into the same phase of life. There isn't that, those three people, like you're going home? Like those people don't, they've disappeared like the Back to the Future movie, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[02:59] Also, like I never loved drinking, and everyone has like stopped drinking. So we're just like, here we are. Drinking is gone.

Speaker 2:
[03:06] I say that as I'm wearing a dirty martini hat, but drinking seems to be just, it's out. It's out.

Speaker 1:
[03:17] What are people doing in Coachella? I guess just drugs.

Speaker 2:
[03:21] And as the kids say, vibing. I don't know, getting off off the vibes. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[03:28] Okay. Speaking of vibes, Jared, this is your first time on Bachelor Party since you've moved to Florida. It's really not your first time, full stop. But this is the first time Florida Jared has made an appearance. Like, you know what? Florida Jared, the light is different. It's just like everything is coming through differently.

Speaker 2:
[03:45] I am a Florida man and I love it here. The noise on Florida is loud and it's weird. You know, it's definitely like, it's an interesting play for me. You know, I've enjoyed it here. I like coming back to New York. I'm never going to be the New York has gone to shit person. That's someone you meet a lot here. There's a lot of insecurities amongst the people who move to Florida. Like, they're very insecure. I can say that as a person who's moved here, because I feel that, because I get people like what... Basically, the insinuation, whether they feel that way or not, but the way I hear it, you know, my insecurities is, have you given up? Are you done trying? Are you done working hard? Are you done being motivated? And even my dad, my dad... I went on a date down here when I first moved here. My dad's like, you got to watch out. Anyone who moves to Florida in their 40s or 30s, they're like a runaway loser. And I'm like, I moved here in my 30s and 40s. Like, you're talking to one of the runaway losers. Like...

Speaker 1:
[04:55] That's really funny.

Speaker 2:
[04:57] It's funny, and it's like that is back, for our parents, people moved to Florida to like...

Speaker 1:
[05:03] To retire.

Speaker 2:
[05:04] Well, also because something bad happened in the Northeast and they're like, get out of here. No one will find you down there. Like pre-internet, that doesn't really occur to us. We are kind of under the watchful eye of Big Brother forever. We've kind of signed up for that. You know, TSA Pre, they know everything about it.

Speaker 1:
[05:22] TSA Pre, Delta, whatever I scan, I have Clear. I mean, many for-profit and non-for-profit businesses have my biometric data.

Speaker 2:
[05:32] Totally, we've bent over for convenience. Like, give it to us, you know?

Speaker 1:
[05:36] I signed up for Clear to get out of Las Vegas faster. I was like, it was like 2015-ish, and it was summer league, and I was so hungover and I got to the airport in Las Vegas. And I was like, I got to get out of here. So I signed up for Clear and I haven't looked back.

Speaker 2:
[05:51] I mean, that's what they, their whole business is built on you seeing a line and then being like waiting there like, do you want it? That's the whole Clear business. That's how they get like half their signups, but.

Speaker 1:
[06:04] It's so crazy. This is just reminding me, sorry. We're all over the place here. Just to be clear, we're going to talk about age, we're going to catch up, Age of Attraction. We're going to catch up on, what else did you want to talk about?

Speaker 2:
[06:13] I want to talk about Age of Attraction, Temptation Island, but I also want to talk about my revamp of The Bachelor. I have, I have a full-

Speaker 1:
[06:20] You're leaving out The Bachelor. And of course we will be teasing your book that is coming out in June, Walking Red Flag.

Speaker 2:
[06:25] If you're watching on Spotify, There it is. There's my book, Walking Red Flag. You can pre-order now.

Speaker 1:
[06:35] Jared's shilling voice just came out. Pre-order now.

Speaker 2:
[06:39] Order now. You can de-order. Yeah, the shill. The link is in the bio this episode. I told my dad I could be a New York Times bestseller and he scoffed louder than I've ever heard a human scoff ever. So let's kill him. Let's murder him with a scoff.

Speaker 1:
[06:59] I am not a runaway in Florida. I am a New York Times bestselling author in Florida.

Speaker 2:
[07:04] I already bought a hat that says New York Times bestseller, so please, that'd be a very embarrassing hat to wear having not been a New York Times bestseller.

Speaker 1:
[07:13] We're gonna work on it.

Speaker 2:
[07:13] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[07:15] We'll come back to your book at the end.

Speaker 2:
[07:16] Please.

Speaker 1:
[07:16] I want to talk to you about one thing and then we'll get into our list of topics. I saw a headline that was like, could this solve New York's line problem? And I guess the culture of young people in New York is waiting in line for things.

Speaker 2:
[07:28] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[07:30] The solve to that is to not wait in line. I just want to let everyone know. There's almost nothing good enough in New York to wait in line. Because there's something else that's similar. I guess with sneaker drops, I get it. There's nothing else. If you need a specific pair of Nikes, I guess you got to wait in line for that. But food and drink? Bar experience? I'm just telling you young people, none of whom are listening to this podcast, it's not worth it. The only thing I think is worth it is clothes that you can't get anywhere else. But that's very specific and even that, save your money.

Speaker 2:
[08:03] Well, it's like a TikTok thing because it's the hyper virality of TikTok where they're like, we have our weekend trip and I've been writing down the places that I thought were interesting because they came across my feed. But the reality is it had a million likes and everyone wrote it down in their save for later places. I mean, how many women have I been on a date with who are like, I have a list and then put their hair behind their ear. Then they show me a list of all the places they want to go to. I'm like, yeah, I know. They all got a list. Every woman has a list of dream romcom places where they'd like to get a drink and look out the window and see the rainfall. So I think this is the-

Speaker 1:
[08:50] It's a TikTok-ization of New York.

Speaker 2:
[08:51] Yeah, I think so. And there's a lemming mentality, which I'm guilty of. I mean, I lived in the West Village.

Speaker 1:
[09:00] Sure, you were a West Village girlie for a while.

Speaker 2:
[09:02] Absolutely. And my white sneakers and my tank top and my jeans-

Speaker 1:
[09:06] I heard white sneakers are out, but I'm going to keep wearing them.

Speaker 2:
[09:09] I'm already old.

Speaker 1:
[09:09] Apparently, it's like beige sneakers now. But I just bought some that I really like, so I'm going to keep wearing them. In fact, as I sit here talking to you, I'm wearing cream-colored, low-top white Converse that I've had for several years, and they've never been cool, and I continue to wear them.

Speaker 2:
[09:25] Well, the world comes back to you at one point. At some point, you will see a TikTok where they're like-

Speaker 1:
[09:30] A broken clock is right twice a day.

Speaker 2:
[09:32] Right. Same with fads. So the line thing, when I would see the lines, I would be like, I feel, I get it, but it's like, they're just looking to be in a place where other people like them are. And it's like, well, if we just went to like the, you know when they go to the TSA pre-line or the, and they're like, oh, and they open up a new line, and they open up like a new x-ray machine. And you're like, okay, from here back, you can go to the front. If someone just went to the back of that line was like, okay, from here back, I got another bar with seats, follow me. Like I think they would go.

Speaker 1:
[10:10] I guess in our day, it was like, it was like flower fields. And now it's like a bagel shop. Remember the flower era on Instagram?

Speaker 2:
[10:18] What was that?

Speaker 1:
[10:18] You got to get your bloom pics.

Speaker 2:
[10:20] I don't remember.

Speaker 1:
[10:20] Did I miss this? Oh, it was an LA thing, I guess. Yeah, you just got to go to the super bloom to like be around the yellow flowers. Take your pictures. I remember wings on a mural.

Speaker 2:
[10:29] Okay, one last thing on this random few things.

Speaker 1:
[10:31] Sure, that too. Yeah, that was in Nashville. Last topic for you.

Speaker 2:
[10:35] Please.

Speaker 1:
[10:36] Right, this is a throwback. This is a COVID Bachelor Party throwback. We are big bagel fans, you and I. Follow bagel culture.

Speaker 2:
[10:44] Love it.

Speaker 1:
[10:44] Keep bagel culture afloat.

Speaker 2:
[10:46] Right. I like you said we, I love it. I think bagels, I mean, I have a lot of bagel opinions. There's some bagel.

Speaker 1:
[10:53] I know, I'm thinking of when you came on during Tayshia's season, we talked about her blueberry bagel, which was like some cardboard bagel with blueberries placed on top.

Speaker 2:
[11:02] Right.

Speaker 1:
[11:03] An affront to an affront. Yes. It was crazy. I'll never forget it. Yeah. There is a movement happening where private equity is investing in bagel shops and trying to bring it nationwide, like pop-up bagel. Sure. Have you had pop-up bagel?

Speaker 2:
[11:18] Pop-up bagel is, they opened one in Delray Beach, my hometown. I'm aware of pop-up bagel. I have been put on group chats with the guy who started it, because I talked some shit about pop-up bagel.

Speaker 1:
[11:35] Yeah, that's great. I'm about to as well.

Speaker 2:
[11:37] Okay, good. I think it's offensive.

Speaker 1:
[11:40] It sucks. Yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 2:
[11:43] Go ahead. I just saw a thread about like Gen Z thinks they've discovered everything, and this is like kind of in that vein, where it's like, oh, hot bread is good? Like...

Speaker 1:
[11:55] Shut up. So here's the thing. Pop-up bagel, the bagels themselves are fine. The cream cheese is really bad, and they have these weird gimmicky flavors that are just not worth it. The bagel is too hard on the outside, not soft enough on the inside. It's a mediocre bagel. I said it's really bad. It's not. It's mediocre.

Speaker 2:
[12:10] I'm going to be on another group chat with this guy. Every time I talk shit about this place, I get like a text, he's mad. They're also like, they're not good about being reviewed. Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Speaker 1:
[12:23] I just want to put on your radar that a certain sector of like the financial world has decided to take bagels nationwide. There's an article about this in the Wall Street Journal, I believe. And they're trying to change bagel culture from being like something that's local and regional to having your own strong preferences and to like a kind of like generic national experience. So like Einstein bagels, which I like. And I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but H&H bagels, like the license was sold and there's now H&H bagels in LA. They have it at LaGuardia Airport. There's still some in New York. They're okay in New York. The one at LaGuardia is not good, haven't been in LA. But basically like they're trying to turn bagels into like the new fast casual that like sweeps the country. And as bagel enthusiasts, this is concerning. It's like it's going to be a fundamental corruption of what I consider a regional food that other people have tried. It's not as good. And like it's similar. I would say bagels are to New York as tacos are to like Mexico and the parts of America that used to be in Mexico. Like you can do them other places, but they're not as good. And I just wanted to get this on your radar. It's a real point of intersection.

Speaker 2:
[13:44] Well, the pop-up bagel is like the major example of like, this is an investment, not a love. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[13:52] Exactly, there's a great way of putting it.

Speaker 2:
[13:54] Yeah, something about the bagel shop experience, there's a hug to that. There's like a getting under a comforter and the cool AC nature of walking into a bagel place and being a special thing. We're getting bagels.

Speaker 1:
[14:10] Especially, a lot of bagel places are usually steamy and hot as part of the business.

Speaker 2:
[14:15] I mean, to give a plug to a place that's like doing it that I like really love whenever I come to New York I'm like bagel pub. Have you been to a bagel pub?

Speaker 1:
[14:24] Jared, have I been to a bagel pub? I live near several. I live near two.

Speaker 2:
[14:28] And that's a chain, but I don't feel like it's corporate.

Speaker 1:
[14:32] It's a local chain.

Speaker 2:
[14:32] Yeah, there's a difference. Bagel pub is doing it wide in New York. But I don't expect to see... If I saw a bagel pub in Delray, I'd be like, who walked in? What suit walked in there with the bag of money that has the dollar sign on the front and told Grandpa Bagel Pub to go retire? I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[14:56] Yeah. Grandpa Bagel Pub is like, I'm not done here yet. Bagel Pub is great. There's one in Park Slope, there's one on North Slope, and then there's one like South Slope near Gowanus. And they're both great. The bagels are really solid. This is a great transition into Jared's revamp of The Bachelor because I first learned about Bagel Pub when I was living in LA from Instagram because before they were the people they are today, Matt James and Tyler Cameron frequently went to Bagel Pub. And I was like, what's this bagel place they're checking out? Because it opened during my time away. And thank you to them for bringing it to me. It's quite good.

Speaker 2:
[15:36] It's good. And you know what they still have, and I'm angered that Matt James, the Anthony Bourdain of our era apparently, is like responsible for Bagel Pub. I'm like angered by that, but I'll give them the credit. I will trust you. I like that Bagel Pub, you get to the counter and it's a guy with the tri-colored sheet, you know, with the, you know.

Speaker 1:
[16:02] Like the notepad.

Speaker 2:
[16:03] The notepad that gives you the white one and he takes the yellow one and gives the pink one as their receipt. And you have a, I hate to be old man yelling at a cloud, but like, it does feel like you have a-

Speaker 1:
[16:15] It's an analog experience.

Speaker 2:
[16:17] It's a human experience. And you get to like, you get to judge the person in front of you that's like, well, I don't know what, I'll get here. You're like, get out of here, you rube from Iowa. You loser. Like, I'm a New Yorker. I order quick and I know what I want. And you have this moment and they look at you from behind the counter. They're standing on a box. They're higher than you. Like, I love that. I don't know. Like, they have great pebble ice.

Speaker 1:
[16:43] They, I, but again, like, Oh, you're a crushed ice guy.

Speaker 2:
[16:47] Love a pebble ice. And I just think like, Who calls it pebble ice? Here's what I don't like about the, the investment bank are coming in. They're gonna, at one point, they have to make more than they bought it for. They have to get this X thing. You know, now everyone, 10X, 8X. Anyone who uses the word number and X, I just immediately throw off as loser to me. Like, you're just a loser. And when I, like, when I hear, Move to the floor, loser, you ex-loser. You ex-losers. They're here too. They are here too. I mean, oh, they're like 10X in their business. You know, a bunch of douchebags. It's like, talk to me like a human. And it's like the, what bagel, Papa Bagel, not to make them the evil, you know, whatever, but they're the example.

Speaker 1:
[17:37] They're just a symbol of it. They were out ahead. I guess they'll make money.

Speaker 2:
[17:41] Totally. Like, and, but they, the fact that like, what will happen is that place will bring in mobile ordering. And I do think mobile ordering is a sign of the world ending. Like I think mobile ordering is like, is what keeps us in a silo, is what keeps you fearing your fellow man or woman. You know, I think the pleases and thank yous and the looking someone in the eye of ordering from someone that's living a different life than you. You know, the, the go to the counter and order is maybe the one time a day that Richie Rich talks to Joe Normal. And it's like, now you're getting rid of that. And that's what Papa Bagel's goal is. They want, they want to, you know.

Speaker 1:
[18:29] They want to be the Shake Shack of bagels. They don't want to be, which, which they don't want to be like the bagel pub, which is like.

Speaker 2:
[18:36] Use the app. No, I will not use the fucking app. I want to talk to a human. Oh, we don't cut our bagels here. Yeah, because you don't want to pay a person to cut them. Oh, they only cut them. Get it from the hand machine. Right, it's bullshit. Also, it's an anti-Semitic bagel. It's an anti-Semitic bagel. Any bagel that they tell you don't eat after it's cold, like every Jewish event is food laid out.

Speaker 1:
[19:05] Also, I'm just gonna tell you, that's what the toaster is for. If your bagel is like a tiny bit old, pop it in the toaster. But if your bagel is fresh, no toaster. That's the rule, people. Fresh bagel, no toaster.

Speaker 2:
[19:16] But cut them so that we can leave them out. Whenever you have a big shiva call, where they're like, oh, we got to eat the bagels hot. No, the bagels are out at a shiva call, and you go over and you have five throughout the hour that you're there. And no one knows because you get off at a time.

Speaker 1:
[19:33] Also, in my hour of need, when I'm sitting shiva or I'm paying a shiva call, do not make me make a mess with cutting that bagel. You cut that bagel in your shop, so I don't have to get the everything bagel coverage everywhere. That's not what I want on my floor. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2:
[19:49] I have to handle a knife. I have to wield a knife while I'm grieving? This is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[19:54] Exactly. Exactly. Also, I would like to add some of the best times I've ever had are at a shiva. Shivas are great. It's obviously so sad, but a shiva call is a great thing to do. And hosting a shiva, I'm lucky that my grandmothers both lived to be quite old. So when they died, their shivas were sort of celebratory. Love a celebratory shiva.

Speaker 2:
[20:19] Celebratory shiva, I have a new merch coming out. I have a new hat, celebratory shivas. That's gonna be my new hat.

Speaker 1:
[20:25] Also shout out, of course, to Zebar's, which catered both of these shivas. They know how to do bagels right. They give you everything you need. They also give you such an extra amount of the full bottle of mustard. If you are having a Zebar's catered shiva, you will have mustard for the next five years. And yes, mustard can sit on the shelf for a long time. We got like sandwiches from Zebar's. And they just, with the delivery, they just gave us like four jars of French's yellow mustard. And I was glad to have them. But anyway.

Speaker 2:
[20:59] No, you're so right. But they're not alone. There's a lot of delis that are, I got sent, I mean, this is a whole story. I'm not gonna go into it, but I met this guy in a Delta Sky club named $2 Steve. He's a famous music lawyer. You can look him up. He's all over the place. He gives out $2 bills, and he gave me, Thomas Jefferson on them. What's that?

Speaker 1:
[21:21] Thomas Jefferson's on the $2 bill.

Speaker 2:
[21:22] Me and, he's rolling in Jefferson's. I saw him, we met in a Delta Sky club and we formed a friendship, but he sent me, he has a branded case that he sent. What's the deli on the Upper East Sarges? He sends a $2 holler package from Sarges. He has a branded package and in it, the mustard is still in my fridge. As you say this right now, the mustard is still in my fridge because they give you a pint of it, like it's cream cheese.

Speaker 1:
[21:55] I guess mustard's really cheap, which is great. Mustard's great.

Speaker 2:
[21:58] Here's what I would say. To add on to your Shivak call point, I think Jews are going through a weird time right now, and I really think if we got the PR agents, if we had a meeting, an all hands on deck meeting, we start with showing people the Shivak call. I think that is our greatest, the idea that like-

Speaker 1:
[22:19] I think we got our romcom, man. Shivak call.

Speaker 2:
[22:21] Shivak call, great romcom idea. You meet at the first night, and then you decide to go back the second night to find out more about them. And here's the thing, the idea that Jews from an early time were like, we need a not awkward way. Let's make paying your respects as not awkward as possible, make it community. And that's the intention. The intention was like, we're going to like cover the, we're going to like help these people.

Speaker 1:
[22:50] Cover the mirrors.

Speaker 2:
[22:51] Right. But it's, I do think it's like, Shivak calls are kind of like the best of us as a religion.

Speaker 1:
[22:59] I agree. I totally agree. And we like to have our bagels delivered sliced. So note to all.

Speaker 2:
[23:05] They'll be sliced the minute they, the minute they find a machine to do it for them. The Austin dynamic comes in with a, with a bagel slicing dog, you know, machine.

Speaker 1:
[23:18] Did your college dorm not have one of those bagel slicers?

Speaker 2:
[23:21] We had one in our fraternity. Yeah. And then, I know that one.

Speaker 1:
[23:25] Doesn't work that well.

Speaker 2:
[23:27] I just don't like the gimmick. I don't want, yeah. I will, it's, I don't want my bagels gimmick, gimmick-ified, you know?

Speaker 1:
[23:34] Well, here's the last thing about it. And then I swear we'll talk about some reality.

Speaker 2:
[23:38] I'm going to be put on a text with this guy. I know so many people invested in this.

Speaker 1:
[23:43] No one asked me about it. I obviously would have loved to have been an advisor. They sell cream cheese by the pint. They sell cream cheese at a bigger denomination than Zabars is giving me mustard. And then you have to take your uncut bagel and you rip it and you dip it. They're trying to turn bagels and cream cheese into chips and salsa. And it is not that. And this is why they do that. It's for economies of scale, right? It's like to sell more cream cheese and to sell more bagels. But that is not the experience.

Speaker 2:
[24:13] And to do less work.

Speaker 1:
[24:15] And to do less work, yes, exactly. And we see it and we don't like it. And that's the final thing I'll say about it for today.

Speaker 2:
[24:22] No Jewish grandmother would let someone rip and dip like that. No Jewish grandmother. My grandmother would be like, what are you doing? You're not going to cut a bagel. You're going to have, what are you going to have? One eighth of a bagel. My grandmother would be on me.

Speaker 1:
[24:35] Also, can you think of anything less nutritious than accidentally eating three ripped up bagels dipped in cream cheese?

Speaker 2:
[24:41] And that's my grandmother again.

Speaker 1:
[24:43] Like a bagel with cream cheese is already so unnutritious.

Speaker 2:
[24:46] You're going to have five bagels. That's what my mom would say. My mom, how many bagels are you going to eat? You got enough bagels to kill. You got one of you living alone. You need eight bagels? My mom loves a question that's a judgment. You need eight bagels? Yes, I need eight bagels. I have to answer the question.

Speaker 1:
[25:05] Yesterday, I gave my son two applesauce pouches in a row, and my dad was like, another one? And I was like, yes, another one.

Speaker 2:
[25:13] A question that's a judgment. Parents love questions that are not questions. That is another one? Did you watch what I just did? That's what I did.

Speaker 1:
[25:23] It's the anti-DJ Khaled.

Speaker 2:
[25:25] Another one? DJ Greenberg, another one?

Speaker 1:
[25:36] Exactly. All right. All right. This is really making my day. Let's talk Batch.

Speaker 2:
[25:42] It got you. I'm so happy to be here. Great to be here.

Speaker 1:
[25:45] Me too.

Speaker 2:
[25:46] Bachelor Party.

Speaker 1:
[25:47] We're honoring your hometown of Delray. Although, what's the Jewish count of Delray? It's no Boca.

Speaker 2:
[25:52] Delray was more honky tonk. It's more beach town. Boca is like Boca. It's where your grandparents.

Speaker 1:
[25:58] How many Jews, is there a synagogue in Delray?

Speaker 2:
[26:00] I'm sure there is. There's got to be. As you go, the beach kind of gets rid of old and Jews. So like, the closer you get to the beach, the more it gets beach town and, you know, less, a little bit more funky fun. Cool.

Speaker 1:
[26:18] Okay. Ride your bike.

Speaker 2:
[26:19] Ride the bike. I mean, I'm looking at the water. I'm like 10-minute walk from the beach. This is my, it's the thing is, what I've done is I've given my, I'm trying to live a 2026 life, which includes us taping over Zoom and includes, I can fly places that you couldn't fly to maybe 20 years ago, and I can do it all.

Speaker 1:
[26:40] Like where? Like Madagascar or like Omaha?

Speaker 2:
[26:44] I'm going more to Omaha than I am Madagascar in my career right now. We'll see how the book does, maybe.

Speaker 1:
[26:52] I've heard Madagascar is really great beaches, speaking of beaches.

Speaker 2:
[26:55] I'm sure.

Speaker 1:
[26:55] Okay, so we are not discussing The Bachelorette right now because the show is not on. And that is because Taylor Frankie Paul had a scandal.

Speaker 2:
[27:06] Right.

Speaker 1:
[27:09] Even saying her name brings me down. I was having a lot more fun shitting on Trashy Bagels.

Speaker 2:
[27:13] Right. Well, that's the reason they couldn't do the season. Like to be perfectly honest.

Speaker 1:
[27:17] I know. Like a heaviness has descended on this podcast now that I've said her name. And I like her actually. I feel for her. I think that she is not fit to be The Bachelorette and perhaps not fit to be the full-time custodian of her children. But I feel for her and I think I do like her. Where do you think the franchise goes from here? Because I think immediately the response is like, it's over, that's it. That's a wrap. Goodbye to The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. Now, I think there's a creeping sense that Taylor's Season will air eventually in some way. Where do you think things are?

Speaker 2:
[27:48] I can't speak to Taylor's Season because I just don't believe in it as a concept. You want to, you know, The Bachelorette is Cinderella. You're supposed to want this person to find love in a new life, a life that they've always wanted. And I make fun of the things that happen in between, the awkwardness in between. But I don't think it's fun to make fun of something that, again, were they gonna have to do a trigger warning before every episode for anyone that's been through domestic abuse? Her name is now synonymous with that subject, you know?

Speaker 1:
[28:29] Yeah. And also, I think even if she, if her children are safe, I think there is a level of child endangerment you can't forget.

Speaker 2:
[28:39] All of these topics lend to the next topic. What you're saying is true. It's not something I could be like, well, you can't even wave that off. You know what I mean? That's the thing. And then people are like, well, they're only doing it. I really couldn't stand this blame game that goes on. They knew when they hired her, well, video changes everything. Ray Rice, look back at Ray Rice. That was a big topic.

Speaker 1:
[29:06] Exactly. Callie and I talked about that too.

Speaker 2:
[29:08] Right. That was a huge topic of conversation. If the video didn't exist, well, that's not how it went. That's just not the reality we live in.

Speaker 1:
[29:17] Yeah, because the confirmation of that is there are so many active NFL players who have domestic abuse charges against them. There's no video of it, so we just keep on moving.

Speaker 2:
[29:28] But that's like the human part that no one wants to admit to because they go, well, ABC, no, it's easy to make ABC the villain. It's a chicken or egg thing. You also watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives without the video being there and then continue to watch it with the video being there. We could do this all day. I just think her season was not going to be fun, and this is meant to be a relief from the stresses of your life and a fun watch that we take seriously when we watch kind of like it's sports. I do think The Bachelor, Bachelorette as a show is a worthwhile show and makes enough money as a proven concept to like be revived. Like the idea that we don't need it as a culture is like kind of crazy.

Speaker 1:
[30:14] My only rebuttal to that is The Bachelorette has not been on in two years, which I've cited several times. I think, and the reason I say that is like, it's kind of like working its way out of the culture. It's out of culture. Like, Love is Blind has taken its place. Love Island, obviously, with younger people. The only thing about Love Island, though, versus The Bachelorette, it skews so young. It has a wide tent, but the controversies around Love Island contestants are driven by really young people on TikTok and stuff. So that is a very different element of that show. But we're doing fine without The Bachelorette. I, as a Bachelorette professional, do not miss it at all.

Speaker 2:
[30:53] I think The Bachelorette is not believable, and again, not to plug my book, Walking Red Flag, you can pre-order now. There's a disillusionment among women of armed their men.

Speaker 1:
[31:09] The Bachelorette demographic.

Speaker 2:
[31:10] The Bachelorette demographic, which is women, let's call it-

Speaker 1:
[31:14] Educated women.

Speaker 2:
[31:15] Educated women, 27 to 45, in mass, but older and younger, of that there's no real, you need real in your reality TV. So the idea that there's 30 men, 28 years old, around that age, a median age of 28, that are like begging to get married, is just not something that's believable in these times of dating. And that's the problem with The Bachelorette. The Bachelor, more believable, that there's a group of women that would be itching to get married at a certain age to this guy who's considered a catch. You know, like...

Speaker 1:
[31:57] Yeah, I think also to your point about the show being like a princess fantasy, I think one of the reasons why Love is Blind and Love Island and other more recent shows are more appealing is because they don't actually ask people to be perfect, they ask them to be like a perfect match. Like you're looking for your, like your other half. Whereas when you're like the lead, you're expected to be perfect. Even if it's not like explicit, I think that's one of the reasons why the leads who are not white have felt like an extra pressure. It's because you just become like this focal point. I think part of that is the marketing of the show, the way that it's always been done.

Speaker 2:
[32:32] Right.

Speaker 1:
[32:33] So it also, I think like what the people who watch the show, what they expect for themselves is no longer to be like, oh my God, I'd love to be this Cinderella, like, and everyone wants to be with me. And like, I find like the one guy out of the pool. But it's more like, yeah, like the idea of dating around and finding the right match is so much more familiar and seems to like allow for more room to like be yourself. And that's why I think when we talk about Love is Blind, so frequently talk about like what they're connecting over, like, oh, they connected over this or that, which is so much truer to dating than we had an amazing, magical time or whatever, so.

Speaker 2:
[33:12] And Love is Blind, the pods are actually a, and it's never mentioned because Nick and Vanessa are maybe the worst hosts in the history of television.

Speaker 1:
[33:23] Well, they gave it a run for their money by another couple on Netflix.

Speaker 2:
[33:27] What is that? Oh, I think you're, Nick Vial and what's her name? Natalie Grimm. Yeah, Natalie. That's what I've called her. Nobody is less equipped for the last name Joy than Nick Vial's baby mama. That woman.

Speaker 1:
[33:47] I don't think they captured them right on the show. But anyway, what were you going to say about what's not said and love is blind?

Speaker 2:
[33:52] That the pods are a perfect version of how we act on the apps.

Speaker 1:
[33:58] Yeah, I was about to say they actually reflect dating apps.

Speaker 2:
[33:59] They reflect dating apps. Yeah, the idea that you speak in these terms about what you want and what you're looking for and then when you get together, you are put to task with those words. I think that it would be funny to track, I always thought it would be funny to track the man who says, I'm just looking for my person and make sure he has to wear that like a badge throughout the whole season. I want to like, I kind of want some of their quotes to be put on the shirts that they have to wear the whole season, like, cause some of their quotes in the pods are like crazy, but it's stuff we all do on dating apps. You speak on the dating app, it is all potential. It is all who I think I am. It's the script I would write for myself. And then, you know, that girl, you know, that ended up with Connor, like Bree, Breezy or whatever her name is. She's the queen of a kitchen, live, laugh, love poster. Like she was speaking all in live, laugh, love.

Speaker 1:
[34:59] She's Rae Dunn, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[35:02] So it would be, so they are, that's the interesting part of that show, is you're getting to see what they think they are, put against who they actually have to be. And The Bachelor and Bachelorette doesn't really account for that because you're jumping in right at the honeymoon part. Like it doesn't start in a way that is relatable these days, which is this in-person meeting, which doesn't happen for a lot of people.

Speaker 1:
[35:28] Also, they have so little time together. On Love is Blind, you have like hours upon hours together, not seeing each other, and then you have to live together. And you're in isolation. It's just the two, it's like the opposite. And so, it's no surprise it became popular during COVID when I think relationships sort of got to a fast start. And you're like, okay, sure, let's give us a shot. And then, well, it works.

Speaker 2:
[35:49] Well, COVID moved fast in both directions. Breakups and get-togethers both went equally as fast. That's why my first note for The Bachelorette, it should be 10 people. There should be less people.

Speaker 1:
[36:00] Okay, so yes, let's get into Jared Freid's recommendations for relaunching The Bachelorette. This episode is brought to you by Colgate Optic White. You know that unexplainable it factor, that smile that lights up a room? That wow? Well, it turns out there is chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste removes 15 years of deep set stains when you brush twice daily for two weeks. How? The clinically proven formula is powered by Colgate's hydrogen peroxide complex. It works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White. So what's the format we're going with?

Speaker 2:
[36:43] Bachelorette, it should be 10 men from the same city. I think the city part, the component of 10 men, same city, 35 and above.

Speaker 1:
[36:58] Okay. 10 men, 35 and above, same city. Which city do you want to start with?

Speaker 2:
[37:04] I would start with Washington, DC.

Speaker 1:
[37:08] I want to say, I think Nashville is a no-brainer.

Speaker 2:
[37:10] The problem with Nashville is you have a lot of people with fake jobs and grifters and I don't know. Listen, 35 still aspiring to be a musician exists in Nashville playing at New Bromance in the afternoon shift.

Speaker 1:
[37:28] Did you see episode one of Taylor's season?

Speaker 2:
[37:31] No.

Speaker 1:
[37:32] There was a guy on it named Clayton, I believe, who used to date Lana Del Rey. That is him, 35 aspiring singer from Nashville. So there you go.

Speaker 2:
[37:39] Now Lana is with a, that's a rom-com with a alligator tour guide.

Speaker 1:
[37:46] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[37:48] Do you ever think of that story? I think about that story once a month that Lana Del Rey is with an alligator tour guide from New Orleans, from the Bayou and they're like married.

Speaker 1:
[37:59] They are married, yes. I saw aerial photos of their wedding. I don't think about it that often, but when it comes up, it gives me a good laugh.

Speaker 2:
[38:09] I need to know if he's the heir to a alligator tour guide fortune. That would change it for me.

Speaker 1:
[38:18] If he's like, is he like long time family business? It's sort of like being like the king of his kingdom.

Speaker 2:
[38:25] Right.

Speaker 1:
[38:26] The alligator kingdom.

Speaker 2:
[38:29] That would make the most sense that he is confident in his own city. I say DC because there's aspirational people and there is a nerd factor. There's not. Yeah, there's there's.

Speaker 1:
[38:47] It was a good season of Love is Blind. I like the DC season.

Speaker 2:
[38:49] DC also goes wide. You can have rural Virginia. You can also have like downtown DC. And I would also say that another town that I would do would be the Bay Area, where the saying from the women there was the goods are the odds are good, but the goods are odd. That is something you hear in the Bay Area from the women.

Speaker 1:
[39:15] Interesting. I had no luck dating in the Bay Area. I also was just really in love with one guy and it didn't work out.

Speaker 2:
[39:21] So you were distracted. Here we are. A distracted dater.

Speaker 1:
[39:25] Exactly. I was like not really wanting anything to work out. I was just very focused on one person.

Speaker 2:
[39:29] That is a subject I bring up in the book, Walking Red Flag, which is in pre-order now. I talk about what type of a loan are you, something you have to assess before you head back out there.

Speaker 1:
[39:43] That's really good. I'm so happy.

Speaker 2:
[39:45] The types of a loan. We don't think of that. We don't think of that. Are you really alone? Taylor, Frankie, Paul could have used that advice. She is certainly not alone.

Speaker 1:
[39:55] She wasn't alone the night before she was supposed to go to LA.

Speaker 2:
[39:58] Supposedly, allegedly, yes.

Speaker 1:
[40:01] Did you watch Mormon Wives? I assume not. Not really.

Speaker 2:
[40:06] Do you watch Summer House? I tried watching an episode of that. These, Here's the Crew and Bump Around Our Storyline shows, like, they're very chaotic and I find myself cheering for nobody. Like, I...

Speaker 1:
[40:23] Can I say something about you that this, I think, tracks with?

Speaker 2:
[40:26] Please.

Speaker 1:
[40:28] I think that you have a lot of old friends, like, you're friends with your college friends still, like, pretty close, right?

Speaker 2:
[40:34] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[40:34] And then what about high school? Not as much, right?

Speaker 2:
[40:37] I have a couple of people that I talk with.

Speaker 1:
[40:39] Okay. I feel like you run really deep with, like, old friends and then I feel like you have a lot of, like, friends, you know, through comedy and through your career. But, like, you're not really, like, a casual hang kind of guy. How often are you just, like, hanging with the crew and running through your storylines?

Speaker 2:
[40:55] Oh, like, that's not...

Speaker 1:
[40:58] That's not your life, right? That's not you.

Speaker 2:
[41:00] I'd rather be out alone than create some sort of, like, new friend, casual...

Speaker 1:
[41:06] Totally.

Speaker 2:
[41:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[41:07] I feel... And I feel like you're new friends, like me, it's like a lot of, like, one-offs. Like, okay, I have this friend, and, like, we're good friends or whatever. But, like, I feel like the kind of... So I feel like the sort of adult friend group, let's all hang out kind of vibe is just, like, not something that interests you at all. And, like, that's reflected in your actual life.

Speaker 2:
[41:22] Right. That's a fair point. I...

Speaker 1:
[41:24] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[41:24] But I... Like, who else would we get to go out with? Like, I... You know, like...

Speaker 1:
[41:31] Well, I don't...

Speaker 2:
[41:32] Should we get Jacoby and his wife to come and I can meet them too? And...

Speaker 1:
[41:37] Sure, they could come. Those two love to hang. They are a great time.

Speaker 2:
[41:41] I am a Food News fan. I have a lot of questions.

Speaker 1:
[41:45] They're really... Joey and Jacoby are really fun.

Speaker 2:
[41:49] Her name's Joey?

Speaker 1:
[41:49] I don't know. Her name is Joey, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[41:54] Joey Jacoby?

Speaker 1:
[41:56] That's her name.

Speaker 2:
[41:58] What a name.

Speaker 1:
[42:00] Yes, it was like she was meant to be a Jacoby.

Speaker 2:
[42:02] That is crazy. Joey Jacoby, like that's like someone you hear about in another high school that's like a really good athlete. You know, Jo...

Speaker 1:
[42:10] Yeah, it's a great name.

Speaker 2:
[42:11] You got to meet, you know, you... The point guard, Joey Jacoby, like that's like a such another... That's such an another town star athlete name.

Speaker 1:
[42:20] Are you watching Real Housewives of Rhode Island?

Speaker 2:
[42:22] I tried, I actually did. And what I... The joy I got out of Real Housewives from Rhode Island is that first of all, I like Ashley, I and Jared as people.

Speaker 1:
[42:34] We all like them. I think Bachelor Nation collectively, we all like them.

Speaker 2:
[42:37] Well, I didn't like them on The Bachelor. Cause I came in late to their whole thing. And then like everyone... It was like hearing about the friend everyone loves. Like I was like, we'll see. And I never really liked their story because I didn't think it was like a great story for single people to hear. Like this woman who begged a guy to be with her and now he's a perfect husband. Like I don't think that's like a aspirational tale.

Speaker 1:
[43:01] I'll just note they got together when she got a different boyfriend and he got jealous. So he's not so... He's subjected to jealousy.

Speaker 2:
[43:09] Fine but also that's like the worst thing to like tell. Oh, and make him jealous by finding another guy. Like no, don't do any of that please. That is not in the book, Walking Red Flag, available in pre-order right now. So, but I met them in person and they're like the most wonderful.

Speaker 1:
[43:30] Yeah, they're awesome people.

Speaker 2:
[43:31] I've been to Audrey's, I've had the coffee. It's really good. The food there is great.

Speaker 1:
[43:38] Really? Okay.

Speaker 2:
[43:39] They're doing things that you would never expect that. You would think they have some frozen stuff in the front.

Speaker 1:
[43:47] That's like you're talking about like great sex. It was great. They're doing things that you would never expect. I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[43:53] Exactly. Oh, Audrey's did things to me. My eyes came out of my skull. The way it made me feel. So, I watched kind of like with interest of like how they would fit into the show. It is so funny to me that people were like, Oh, Rhode Island, Real Housewives, we'll see these like prim and proper wasps. No, you're getting, this is where they cast the Jersey Shore from. Like this is like who you're getting.

Speaker 1:
[44:23] Paulie D is from Providence.

Speaker 2:
[44:24] This is URI Providence. It's not Newport Providence. I love that. They went in a direction I didn't see coming. You know, it's like one of those things that you go, wait, oh, it was like hidden in plain sight the whole time. You know, like URI Providence. That is what you're getting.

Speaker 1:
[44:42] Also Mafia Providence. There's a lot of different Providence.

Speaker 2:
[44:45] Like Ciance Providence. This is like totally, it's funny because it was there the whole time and there's people that are like tuning in thinking like, oh, Watch Hill, I heard Taylor Swift was there.

Speaker 1:
[44:56] Right.

Speaker 2:
[44:57] And it's like, no, no, baby girl, you're getting.

Speaker 1:
[45:01] Also, that's basically Connecticut. I would say Watch Hill is Connecticut. It's technically Rhode Island, but it's basically Connecticut.

Speaker 2:
[45:07] Right. That's a New Yorker who moved after making money, like gobs of money. Yeah. It's not like a worth driving through. Have you ever seen, have you ever driven through there?

Speaker 1:
[45:17] I've had the best brunch ever at Ocean House, which is on the beach where Taylor Swift's house is.

Speaker 2:
[45:22] Ocean House looks like it should cost money to look at it. Like, that's how beautiful.

Speaker 1:
[45:28] Ocean House is really nice. Honestly, the brunch is expensive, but it's like cheaper than staying at Ocean House. So I really recommend it. If you're in the North East, yeah. It's like also, I believe it's like an all-you-can-eat on Sundays. It's great. I really love Ocean House. Like, the brunch is awesome. And you can also just go and walk around. The craziest thing about the beach there is that it's public. You can just walk onto it too. It's only crazy because that's where Taylor Swift's house is.

Speaker 2:
[45:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[45:55] The other thing that's crazy about it is when you walk onto the beach, there's a sign that says, one of the most beautiful beaches in America. It's completely not true. Like, it is actually like Cape Cod is laughing at you. The Cape Cod National Seashore is laughing at the Ocean House Beach. It has nothing compared to the soaring do's of the Cape Cod National Seashore.

Speaker 2:
[46:15] I'm with you. It's beautiful from like, if you're looking up at the houses. I don't think it's a beautiful beach.

Speaker 1:
[46:22] Yeah. It's a small stretch of beach. Once again, I implore you to go to the Ocean House slash Holiday House Beach and then check out the Cape Cod National Seashore.

Speaker 2:
[46:31] We have not made this episode relatable to the masses. This has been about Shiva calls and a very specific one-eighth mile beach.

Speaker 1:
[46:42] Which was created by JFK. Whatever. It's really nice. Now it's a national park, so everyone can check it out.

Speaker 2:
[46:51] Everyone should.

Speaker 1:
[46:51] It's not a private beach.

Speaker 2:
[46:52] Listen, as a Massachusetts man myself, I encourage everyone to go check out the Cape and its wondrous-

Speaker 1:
[46:59] Cape Cod National Seashore in particular.

Speaker 2:
[47:01] There you go. That one in particular. Also Delray Beach, number one beach in Florida. I mean, we don't have to go beach for beach, but I will say-

Speaker 1:
[47:09] Okay, so The Bachelor, we're doing one city, 10 guys, one lead.

Speaker 2:
[47:13] One city, 10 guys, 35 or above, but every guy on the show has to be presented by a married couple. Almost like-

Speaker 1:
[47:24] Oh, a sponsor.

Speaker 2:
[47:26] Yes, we need, I am so sick of these men getting treated as if no one knows anyone like them. They're horrific. This is what happens. There's a lot of pressure on the men who go on these shows where it's like, oh, we hate him. Like, honestly, like, the guy from Love is Blind that told the girl that she's not in good enough shape for him.

Speaker 1:
[47:51] Chris, who, yeah, so then compared himself to one of the Tates. Yes, I'll never forget him because it's one of the most outrageous things to do. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[47:57] Chris, have we met a friend? Where are the people? Like, it's like a baby pigeon. Like, we've never seen, you know, Chris seemingly just appeared a douchebag. Like, no one takes responsibility for him. Nobody, there's no parent that's like, look, we should be at the doorstep of Chris's parents and the guy who he was the best man of a wedding. Like, you know, there's a lot of talk of like, where are the friends? Where are the people that are like, yeah, Chris is like that? Like, these people allowed him to exist on earth this way. And I think with dating, as I talk about in Walking Red Flag out on June 9th.

Speaker 1:
[48:37] That's your last one, we're done here.

Speaker 2:
[48:40] Juliet hates a plug. So I...

Speaker 1:
[48:42] No, I don't, but I like a tasteful plug. It's not a constant plug.

Speaker 2:
[48:45] It's a bit. So that's what I do. I turn the plug into a bit so I can do it over and over again. So I think that... I do talk about how there's alleyway dating and Main Street dating. And I do think that a lot of people with dating apps, you get brought into alleyway dating where no one knows about it, there's no eyes on you. And I think a lot of men, I'm not gonna apologize for this, a lot of men in dating need an aunt who's like, what happened with Juliet? Like now you're kind of kept a little more honest. And I think when these two friends, when the married couple has to vouch for you and say, this is a guy who's ready, he's talked about it, we've met him. I think they have to be, the first episode is them presenting their friend as if it's like Bridgerton. It's like, and now the king prince of the West Village. And they bring him out and they give like a con. There are these dating things that are like PowerPoints where people present their friends. That's like a thing right now. I think if the men had to have a couple.

Speaker 1:
[49:56] Canva is just like crushing it, these PowerPoints.

Speaker 2:
[49:58] Crushing it. Yeah. And I've hosted them before. They're fun and they're interesting. But it's a lot of women presenting their female friends and how wonderful they are. I think if the men were presented by a couple, there would be...

Speaker 1:
[50:12] Yeah, where are the men?

Speaker 2:
[50:13] And again, that's a big problem in dating, is where are the men? Even me at 41, I'm like, where do I hang out? Especially when I was single, I'm like, where am I? I'm out alone. I'm not in a group, I'm not in. So I think there's a power of loose connections. And I do think your married friends are like your greatest power, but we're not really going at them right. Like I think-

Speaker 1:
[50:41] Here's what I think, just to add a little salt on this, a little seasoning.

Speaker 2:
[50:46] Please.

Speaker 1:
[50:47] I really like this idea. I think you need to be sponsored by a married couple. And I think the spouse of the opposite sex needs to be the one to speak on your behalf. Because if a woman likes her husband's friend and is recommending them, that's really powerful. Similarly, just to The Bachelorette. And similarly, if it's a male bachelor, I feel like the husband or whatever, the guy in the couple needs to vouch for the woman to be like, yes, she's not annoying, she can really hang, she won't care if you do X, Y or Z, like things that are common disputes along gender lines. I need to speak to that.

Speaker 2:
[51:25] You're nailing it.

Speaker 1:
[51:26] And they can really vouch for them.

Speaker 2:
[51:29] You're nailing it, I'm sorry to interrupt, because the most a married man will say about their wife's single friend is, oh, she's cool. That's like the most you'll get. And that is a huge compliment from a married man. That is like glowing. Oh, she's cool.

Speaker 1:
[51:49] Totally. They must come in the couple though, because we need to rule out suspected cheating or suspected feelings. We need to be sure.

Speaker 2:
[51:57] Right.

Speaker 1:
[51:57] There's no funny business.

Speaker 2:
[51:58] We have to feel the dynamic. Vibes need to be present. We need the end. So they present their friend, and then they live in a house, but it's only on the weekends. And every weekend...

Speaker 1:
[52:12] The Great British Bake Off style. Only on the weekend.

Speaker 2:
[52:14] Is that what it is? Yes. I had no... So weekends only, it goes from fri... And they are in the house, and then every weekend, we lose someone.

Speaker 1:
[52:25] I think we also need to know what you're doing Monday to Friday. I'm going to need to know, like, how you're spending your time. Like, I hope it's not just filming video content. You don't necessarily have to have a job, but, like, you need to be volunteering. You need to be working. I need them to have a job.

Speaker 2:
[52:40] I need you to be 35 and have a job.

Speaker 1:
[52:43] This is me as a modern woman lowering her standards, saying, I don't know that you have to have a job.

Speaker 2:
[52:49] Juliet, you wouldn't be attracted to a guy without a job. You can't. Don't do that.

Speaker 1:
[52:52] That's correct.

Speaker 2:
[52:53] You would not be attracted. That's the thing. But that's the problem with The Bachelorette, is these men who can take months off from their job, you go, that's not even, like, hot. Like, the best case scenario is they become Joey, who kind of, like, rolls into a career of being an influencer, like, without, like, you know, like, that's...

Speaker 1:
[53:15] The Tennis Pro is a great fantasy when you're 18. The Tennis Pro at 38, 28, I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[53:22] The Tennis Pro who now has a following of a million people and gets flown out to the Delray Open, that's fine. You know, that gets...

Speaker 1:
[53:34] Sure.

Speaker 2:
[53:35] There's a version of it, you know, but that's a very specific version that Joey fell into.

Speaker 1:
[53:43] Yeah, I don't think anyone who's on The Bachelors for me. This is my problem with being a Bachelor professional, is that a lot of the fun used to be imagining myself with The Bachelor. Like when I was like, Tyler's so hot, oh my God, he's so nice, like blah, blah, blah. And now all I can just see is like, no, not for me. But this is my point.

Speaker 2:
[54:03] It's like 35. I think if they were 35 and presented by their friends, you would be back.

Speaker 1:
[54:08] And employed, yes, then I would be back. I'd be like, okay, sure. Let's interview them, have them on the pod. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2:
[54:14] And I think that, oh, and also it's going to be called The Bachelorette Friend Luck Edition. Like a potluck, because you have to bring a friend.

Speaker 1:
[54:26] Okay, we need to workshop that.

Speaker 2:
[54:28] Okay, friend luck is, but this is my, so then the-

Speaker 1:
[54:33] For me, it feels more like a country club, because you need a sponsor. It's like you need someone who's married to batch for you. So it's almost like The Bachelor Country Club Edition.

Speaker 2:
[54:41] Now we're showing our tax bracket. This is what Juliet's looking for. We need to understand that reference.

Speaker 1:
[54:47] To be clear, I've never been to a, I've been to one country club, is when I was 13, it was for my camp friends, Samantha and Jason's Bar Mitzvah. I have not been to a country club since. And it was, you know what? It was near Worcester, in that part of Massachusetts.

Speaker 2:
[55:02] Listen, I was at a country club on Friday.

Speaker 1:
[55:04] I am not a country club person. What'd you say?

Speaker 2:
[55:06] I was at a country club on Friday. We couldn't be more opposite on this one.

Speaker 1:
[55:11] Well, I don't live in Florida. I'm not Florida woman.

Speaker 2:
[55:14] That's true.

Speaker 1:
[55:16] Also, I quit Soho House. I was just like, no, I'm good. I just canceled my membership.

Speaker 2:
[55:20] I froze mine and I'm with you.

Speaker 1:
[55:23] I did a year of frozen.

Speaker 2:
[55:25] Unless Soho Del Rey opened. I didn't have a need for it. I like the hotels. The hotels were great.

Speaker 1:
[55:32] I do. You can still stay at them.

Speaker 2:
[55:34] But you were like a Soho House person. You liked that place.

Speaker 1:
[55:38] Yeah, I quit. It just was like not flexible enough for me.

Speaker 2:
[55:41] Right. Listen.

Speaker 1:
[55:43] I was hoping it would be like cable. They'd be like, no, stay, but it was not. They're like, all right, you're out.

Speaker 2:
[55:49] Well, see you. Do you enjoy your Soho branded China?

Speaker 1:
[55:58] Anyway, my point is I'll meet you at Starbucks. I'm not a country club person. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[56:01] Well, you can come to my club if I get into this place that I'm trying to get into.

Speaker 1:
[56:05] Good luck.

Speaker 2:
[56:07] I think the ending shouldn't be an engagement. I think the ending should be a one year of a apartment that's paid for in the best part of town. A one year lease.

Speaker 1:
[56:20] Cool.

Speaker 2:
[56:21] We will award the couple a one year lease. Like, so if it's in New York, the West Village, you'd have a two bedroom place in the West Village. We will lease you a very comfortable place in the nicest part of town. So I don't know what that is for DC, but.

Speaker 1:
[56:41] I think it's DuPont Circle. Actually, no, it's Calorama or Wesley Heights. Those two areas, I think, are like really fancy.

Speaker 2:
[56:48] Whatever that may be, we will give you a two bedroom, one year lease for you guys to share together. Like, that should be the engagements too much.

Speaker 1:
[57:01] Agreed. I've always thought the engagement was stupid.

Speaker 2:
[57:02] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[57:03] Also, it's kind of meaningless. OK, there's a rings that we give back. Like, who cares? It's a loss for Neil Lane. But whatever.

Speaker 2:
[57:10] I think he's that guy should be retired. I mean, Neil Lane represents everything.

Speaker 1:
[57:14] You do diamond encrusted keychains. I'd be more interested in that, honestly.

Speaker 2:
[57:17] Right. I don't know. Neil Lane can retire. Neil Lane is like every boomer who needs to get out of the workforce. Like, there's a new jeweler.

Speaker 1:
[57:28] OK, boomer.

Speaker 2:
[57:29] Well, isn't there a new jeweler that could use the business? Like, Neil Lane? How much money does Neil Lane need?

Speaker 1:
[57:35] Honestly, this would be a great opportunity for Etsy. Or they could be like, Etsy could sponsor it and be like, here's $1,000 to Etsy and get like a really cool artsy piece of jewelry for your petrote, your beloved. Sounds great. Or honestly, anyone. Like, there's so many like just jewelry brands that could be sponsoring this thing. Doesn't have to be Neil Lane.

Speaker 2:
[57:54] Listen, make it K Jewelers. I don't give a you know, like whatever it is.

Speaker 1:
[57:59] Or just make it like someone that could be like, I don't know. It's like funky jeweler X from somewhere from Providence or whatever. Providence is a cool artsy.

Speaker 2:
[58:06] How about $20,000 into a money market account? Like people are hurting right now.

Speaker 1:
[58:11] Like, you know, like, no, absolutely. I would, if I were on a reality show and they're like, okay, you can have a ring by Neil Lane or $20,000, like, in that you like you come into possession of in a year. I would obviously take the money. Like everyone just wants cash in this world. Give people cash.

Speaker 2:
[58:28] It's like a Bonvoy member. You want the breakfast of the points. Give me the points. I'll buy my own breakfast.

Speaker 1:
[58:36] Oh, so true.

Speaker 2:
[58:38] What do you think of the Age of Attraction? I got to ask you.

Speaker 1:
[58:43] They really stretched it. There was not eight episodes of material.

Speaker 2:
[58:47] There's eight episodes?

Speaker 1:
[58:49] Yes. I think the reveal is like pretty interesting.

Speaker 2:
[58:55] Of the ages.

Speaker 1:
[58:57] Yeah, the ages. Like when they go into the cabin and reveal it. A lot of the couples you don't end up seeing, because they gravitate towards the person, they're like the same age as. And I'm not against it, like with these relationships. Like I think if I were Teresa's kids and she had this 27-year-old boyfriend, I would not be happy about it. It would really strain my relationship with my mom. From a practical perspective, with the idea of marriage, it doesn't make sense, because if there's like a 50-year age gap or like a 40 or 30-year age gap, like you just have to like start over. And I'm just like, then just date. I just don't, I don't really know the point. Because like also, like Nick and Natalie are the hosts, because like their age gap is like what, like 16 years, something like that. As you get older, that's really not very much, right? I think over 20, when you're over 20, it's like a bigger difference, because like you're really like generationally separate and like physically you start to decline in different ways. But age gaps, like as like a sort of like a, like something scandalous, like I'm just like, I don't know, as I get older, I'm like, eh, seems fine. I just, I think I like sometimes judge one person more for like, is that really like the kind of things you want to be doing right now? But like, I don't know. I don't really have such a big problem with age gap relationships personally. So I just kind of found the show boring and the people on it weird.

Speaker 2:
[60:29] There were no stakes. Like if they had said to them, that promise room thing was bizarre. I just didn't even understand the concept of the show, to be honest. I watched the first two episodes.

Speaker 1:
[60:43] It should be called the reveal center or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[60:46] Yeah. What are you promising? Are you promising that you're not lying about your age?

Speaker 1:
[60:51] Oh, you're promising that you'll stay together because of your connection despite your ages.

Speaker 2:
[60:56] Well, they should have to be put into an apartment like Love is Blind style at that point. Like...

Speaker 1:
[61:04] Sure. Well, they are. They go to Vancouver and they live together.

Speaker 2:
[61:07] Oh, is that what they do? I got the second... All the people on it were weird. I mean, the idea... If you sign up for a show where, hey, there's going to be young women here, the men are not going to really look that great. Like, it's not going to be a great...

Speaker 1:
[61:21] I think...

Speaker 2:
[61:22] And if it's your young man who's on a milf hunt, like, that's like... The men on this, there's no win from either side.

Speaker 1:
[61:33] I understand it a little bit from the older women's perspective, people who are like 40 or 60, I get it, a little bit. Because it's just like so hard to date, as you said. It's like, where are you, Jared Freid, that like Teresa could have the chance of meeting you out in the wild or whatever?

Speaker 2:
[61:46] Right.

Speaker 1:
[61:47] And so I understand it a little bit from their perspective. But the second you introduce TV, there's no way it's like gonna be successful. I guess for all these shows now and people go on them, it's like, well, it might as well. Like, what's the negative of it, you know? And but I don't know, I was sort of into it because Callie was. Like TV is social, right? So like if someone else is into it, then that's fun. But I didn't really love it. I didn't feel invested in any of them. And I just don't find age gaps scandalous. I support them if that's what you want. I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[62:21] I don't think I don't think anyone finds them scandalous except for the children of the person.

Speaker 1:
[62:29] I think also when someone's really rich and you're worried about, you know, finances, like I don't know if you've been following David Geffen's divorce, but like he married someone like 50 years younger and didn't have a prenup, so the divorce has been like really messy. So that's scandalous, but like that's on David Geffen. You got a prenup, dude, like I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[62:50] Right. The age gap thing always felt like it was like a way to like rage bait online.

Speaker 1:
[62:59] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:59] Like it never felt like a real, like you said, I'm with you. Like someone can be 60 and be with a 40 year old. I mean, like my parents live in a country club community. I know that's against your religion, but they live with me. And they have friends who's...

Speaker 1:
[63:18] How are the bagels?

Speaker 2:
[63:20] They have friends whose the wives are around our age. And they're living, you know, those wives are living on a different planet from me. You know, like it's, we can relate kind of, but we've gone, our ships have gone in two different directions. Like...

Speaker 1:
[63:41] Yeah. Like I don't, I don't acknowledge that as like a lifestyle, I guess. But, you know, I live in my New York bubble with my sliced bagel. So what do I know? I think that that Age of Attraction and the Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette kind of highlight why young people are better for reality TV, which is because they haven't lived more life. The stakes feel so high because it feels like the biggest deal ever in their lives. And you can buy into that if everyone around them is like really earnest about it. And it's like, oh my God, I can't believe. Like on Love Island, it's like the best example of it. Like when they had a really big drama, like summer 2024 with Rob and Andrea and Leah. Everyone was like, oh shit. And you can buy into that along with them. And they haven't lived enough life to know that like, you'll just like look back on this and be like, yep, that's a funny thing I did in my 20s. Not that I'm so old or whatever. But with the older people on reality TV, it's like they have so much more life that like their perspective and like their sort of, their personal theories of relativity are so different. So it's like less dramatic.

Speaker 2:
[64:46] Right, well, that also makes it more dramatic because I think like with Golden, like with Golden, the idea that like, can this, Golden was good because the women seemed to find this friendship and it was wonderful. And then, you know, that was kind of like the, and they got this public place to be out there. But like, there's a little bit of like, what's the plan now? You know, like, you know, when you see.

Speaker 1:
[65:18] Yeah, I think Golden is like done. I don't think they'll come back to it. They got to get The Bachelor off the ground, like if they're before anything else. There's just no paradise this summer. Like they got a crisis to deal with. Temptation Island is sort of similar to Age of Attraction to me, I'm like, this is so absurd, there's no stakes. Obviously none of you are surviving long term. And honestly makes me feel dirty. I don't know what it is, but for some reason, I just like this show, it's like a bridge too far for me.

Speaker 2:
[65:46] I'm with you. I watched it and I was like, why not just break up?

Speaker 1:
[65:51] Yeah, if you're doing this, just take a break.

Speaker 2:
[65:53] Right, like you two aren't meant to be, and if you're making a deal to go to a far away place and have fun, but if they had a kid together, then I would like, and a mortgage, I think Temptation Island would only work with the couple that can't afford to get a divorce. That's a real thing, where people are like, if we get divorced, we would lose, we would be just totally in a different place in life. It would bring us backwards. So we need to work on this.

Speaker 1:
[66:28] That'd be a diabolical show. The show is, you either stay together and live life as you have been, or you have to get divorced, but we give you money. That would be crazy.

Speaker 2:
[66:36] Well, that's a more realistic show, because that's someone who's going, none of those people, I'm with you. There's the one kid with the spiked hair, when they started giving out the bracelets to who they were.

Speaker 1:
[66:49] I hate that guy.

Speaker 2:
[66:51] He looks 10.

Speaker 1:
[66:52] I was like, who is this guy? Callie and I said he looks like he's from an anime show.

Speaker 2:
[66:57] He really does.

Speaker 1:
[67:01] Also, he's ridiculous. He obviously should not get back together with his girlfriend.

Speaker 2:
[67:06] He what?

Speaker 1:
[67:07] Yeah. He should not get back together with his girlfriend. They're done.

Speaker 2:
[67:10] When he started crying when they were saying goodbye to each other, I started laughing so hard. I was like, what are the tears? I don't understand. I don't understand. But like you said, they're younger, so this is the most important thing in their life, so maybe that's part, that's definitely part of it, but like.

Speaker 1:
[67:29] I think also Love is Blind. One thing about the success of Love is Blind, the other shows have not been able to really tap into, is because they try to simulate real life, like put them back in their home city, make them go back to their jobs, make them act at a wedding, walk down the aisle, do the whole thing. The stakes feel higher because you're like, are you really going to have your one wedding this way? Like, are you really going to like, well, and you're back living your life, going to your job and you're like, hey, this is what it would be like. I think that's one thing that's underrated, really smart about it. And like, it's sort of like a scared straight situation where it's like, okay, this is what it's gonna be like. You sure?

Speaker 2:
[68:06] Right.

Speaker 1:
[68:06] You sure, you sure? Like, it's intense.

Speaker 2:
[68:09] We're going all the way to the end with this.

Speaker 1:
[68:11] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[68:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:12] This is your wedding. These are the pictures you will have for the rest of your life.

Speaker 2:
[68:17] Right.

Speaker 1:
[68:18] It's freaky, really freaky.

Speaker 2:
[68:21] I never understood why they go to the wedding. I know there's a lot of rumors that they get paid or something, but I don't think that's true. I don't think that's... People say that because they heard it from someone else and then they say it as if it's fact. And I'm like...

Speaker 1:
[68:35] It's also because it's the only plausible explanation because otherwise, why would you do it?

Speaker 2:
[68:38] Why would you waste... If someone wasted my Saturday with a wedding that they made happen just so they could say no at the altar, like...

Speaker 1:
[68:49] If you're focused enough on getting married so that you're willing to go on the show and consider having the wedding, it's crazy to waste a failed wedding on this. This is part of your record for the rest of time.

Speaker 2:
[69:02] Right. This is all people know about you forever. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[69:07] You have to live with this forever.

Speaker 2:
[69:08] You know they went on Love is Blind, they said no at the altar? That would be the only thing I would ever say about that.

Speaker 1:
[69:13] Here's what she would have looked like on her wedding day if she had said yes. It's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[69:16] It is crazy. Can a dating show work? I mean, that's the other thing. Does a dating show work? We're watching the Summer House stuff, the way it's playing out, it seems like they're all going on these shows with trying to be Tom Sandoval now.

Speaker 1:
[69:42] Yeah. West is so not for me. Obviously, neither is Sandoval, but Sandoval is a character. West is trying to be regular New York guy. I don't know. I just don't...

Speaker 2:
[69:57] You can't be Sandoval. You don't take him seriously as a pursuit?

Speaker 1:
[70:02] I don't take Sandoval seriously, but I take it as a person in the general population, but I do take him seriously as a Bravo person in West Hollywood. I'm like, yeah, he loves playing his trombone. That's real. He loves performing. That's why he moved to LA. That's real. West, I'm just like, yeah, he loves attention. I'm like, what? A lot of people love attention, but I don't know anything about him really because I don't watch TV.

Speaker 2:
[70:22] They had him.

Speaker 1:
[70:23] I don't watch Summer House.

Speaker 2:
[70:24] Well, they had him. His lower third was sports journalist.

Speaker 1:
[70:28] He works at Complex. Did you know that?

Speaker 2:
[70:30] I had no idea. I saw him at a party once.

Speaker 1:
[70:32] Me neither. I just found out. I just found out.

Speaker 2:
[70:35] I didn't know Complex was still a thing.

Speaker 1:
[70:37] I don't think he went on the show.

Speaker 2:
[70:38] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[70:39] Apparently, he was at the Super Bowl. I don't know if he went on the show to be Sandoval, but I think he's probably... They're obviously fine with the attention because they went to the Yankees game and were kissing there. So that's pretty high profile. Those two, they just seem like probably low character people. That's all I can really say. But can a dating show work? It's a good question. I think the odds are against you, but occasionally it can. There's still a few couples. I think that there's an exhibitionism, I've said this a million times, to people who go on these shows. So if you find that in someone else and it's a match, that's good. I don't know. Can dating work? I have no idea. I don't know how people date. I don't get it. Let me know. Send me some DMs. Let me know how dating works these days.

Speaker 2:
[71:27] It's tough. I mean, it's a lot of noise. It's a lot of pressure, weirdly.

Speaker 1:
[71:35] I understand why people go to conferences and go crazy because you're just like, oh my God, there's all these people around me.

Speaker 2:
[71:41] What do you mean?

Speaker 1:
[71:43] Like the stereotype of professional conferences, like, okay, we're in Las Vegas for our annual retreat or whatever. There's a lot of workplace hookups for that reason.

Speaker 2:
[71:53] Well, it's also like you're in forced. You know, people don't really realize how much they want in real life interpersonal, you know, we want that, you know, as much as we avoid it. You know, we used to be forced out of the house and now you can really just stay home and convince yourself out of going out of the house. I mean, we're living the lives that the nerds wanted to live. Like we're living Mark Zuckerberg's lonely high school existence.

Speaker 1:
[72:29] Meanwhile, he's like becoming a UFC fighter.

Speaker 2:
[72:32] Right. Well, he's becoming us and we're becoming him. You know, he wanted to sit at home and talk shit about people and not leave the house.

Speaker 1:
[72:44] Yeah, judge them. I saw the social network. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[72:46] Right. This is what he wanted. The nerds wanted this world and charming people like us. Our lifestyles are being eradicated.

Speaker 1:
[72:56] Yeah. And fucking ruining bagels. It all comes back to bagels. I love your idea for The Bachelor, though. Let's do it. Rob Mayles, if you're listening. Jared, what's the official release date of Walking Red Flag, which is available for preorder right now?

Speaker 2:
[73:11] June 9th. It's coming out.

Speaker 1:
[73:13] June 9th.

Speaker 2:
[73:13] You're going to come to my 92nd Street Y event. I'm doing a book talk.

Speaker 1:
[73:17] Yes. Who's the moderator of that event?

Speaker 2:
[73:19] We're trying to figure that out. I mean, okay. Good to know. The book. Yeah, you can preorder. I would love for people to preorder. I do the audible audiobook if you love my voice. So I did the audiobook. That is grueling. I do voices. And today, I'm like a guy reading to a kid to go to bed. So if you want voices and fun, the audiobook, you can also preorder on Kindle and preorder from a local bookstore. It is a dating advice.

Speaker 1:
[73:59] I believe you can now buy books on Spotify. So check it out.

Speaker 2:
[74:01] Yes, you can. It's a dating advice book, but it's really just like, it's a personal telling of how I felt through every step of the dating process. So if you want to get inside the mind of a red flag you've dated in the past, or a red flag you are currently dating, or you just want to laugh at a book, it kind of covers all those bases. So personal stories.

Speaker 1:
[74:25] Awesome. Jared, thank you so much for joining me. This has been a delight.

Speaker 2:
[74:30] Always a pleasure.

Speaker 1:
[74:30] Keep me posted on everything in your life. Check out Jared on his podcast, JTrain, and just follow him on social media. Go to one of his shows. Track him down on the beach in Delray. You can just find him there every morning.

Speaker 2:
[74:43] That happens. I get people all the time. I meet the Juliet Bachelor Party fans. I say this every episode. I'm like, your fans are so nice. They come to shows and they're like, they're exactly who I would think. They're like smart people and they're like fun. None of them have approached me in Delray. So that tells you everything you need to know about Delray. Not a lot of...

Speaker 1:
[75:06] They're suffering through winter.

Speaker 2:
[75:08] They're in the Ivy League cities. They're not hanging at Rollins College. Not a lot of Rollins College graduates listening to this show. But if they're out there, hi.

Speaker 1:
[75:18] That's where my white whale, Jason, the Jewish tennis player from Gabby Wendy, he's another bachelor, went to college, bachelorette.

Speaker 2:
[75:27] Jewish Jason, the original Jewish guy in the show.

Speaker 1:
[75:31] I know. I love that guy. He's been wearing a high for as long as I've known him. Very handsome. Anyway. All right, everybody, Callie and I will be back on Thursday for Survivor Thursdays. Can't wait. Talk to you then. Thank you to our producer, Olivia Crerie.