title Chatty Chatty, Bang Bang

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0:00 No More Low Microphones

5:00 The Off Button

9:00 Chatty, Chatty, Bang, Bang

14:30 This, Again?

18:00 Old Bob Hair

24:00 Cigs Behind Security

27:30 Ren & Stimpy

32:00 Supreme Gas

36:30 Carlos Pays the Bill

40:00 A Film of Two Halves

44:30 Performative or Something's Wrong?

48:30 Did We Kill Chuck Norris?

54:00 Bobby Does 1,000 Sit Ups

59:00 Notes from the Underground

1:02:00 The Exit Strategy

1:06:00 White Spiders

1:10:00 The Farmer's Market

1:13:30 Scoville Units



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Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday

Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom

Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles

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Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/

Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende



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pubDate Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:00:00 GMT

author Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino

duration 4743000

transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Hey, Bad Friends, I'm doing a bunch of shows. First off, Bobby and I, the Bad Friends Live, are gonna be at Netflix as a Joke Fest here in Los Angeles at the YouTube Theater down by SoFi. That's May 8th. Get your tickets right now. Then I'll be down in Del Mar at The Sound in San Diego, bro. Surf's up June 28th. I'm doing two shows, early and a late show. And then July 24th, I'm at the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles, Missouri, which might as well be St. Louis, Missouri. Come out and see me. Go to andresantino.com for those tickets, andresantino.com.

Speaker 2:
[00:29] Hey, everybody, Bobby Lee here. You know, I shot a special, and so I'm going to do the finally tour before the special comes out. I want to be in Detroit, 424, Indianapolis, 425, Montclair, 5-1, Atlantic City, 5-2. Just go to my website and check out the other day. It's Medford, 5-3, San Antonio, 5-15. And go check it out. It's going to be a theater tour, my first one. And come see me live. Go to bobbylee.live. You two are bad friends.

Speaker 3:
[01:07] We're bad friends.

Speaker 1:
[01:09] It smells like dog food in here.

Speaker 4:
[01:11] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[01:11] Ruck, ruck.

Speaker 4:
[01:12] Bobby just got here.

Speaker 2:
[01:13] I just got here. I yelled at the host for putting the mic stand low. You know how they try to get a laugh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I'm small.

Speaker 1:
[01:24] I've done, I do that.

Speaker 2:
[01:25] I know. And it makes me so angry. But I won't yell at you, but I want, if you ever do that again, I'll rip you.

Speaker 3:
[01:31] Oh, I've gotten that from you.

Speaker 2:
[01:32] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[01:33] The low voice.

Speaker 2:
[01:34] Because it's trying to get a laugh that I'm short, right? But it's not my laugh. It's their laugh. You know what I mean? It's their residue laugh.

Speaker 1:
[01:45] Yeah, leftover laugh.

Speaker 2:
[01:46] It's leftover laugh. When they're not even on stage, they're trying to get a laugh. And they're in the back going, but I'll do it. I bet you Brad gets it. Williams.

Speaker 1:
[01:56] Oh dude, I do the opposite for him. When Brad follows me in the store, I put it as high as I can.

Speaker 2:
[02:01] That's the same thing. It's the same thing.

Speaker 1:
[02:05] But it's funny.

Speaker 2:
[02:06] For you.

Speaker 1:
[02:07] For all of us.

Speaker 2:
[02:08] For Brad, it's a whole extra thing he has to do.

Speaker 1:
[02:14] That's funny, dude.

Speaker 2:
[02:14] For me, you know what I mean? I get a laugh, but then I have to go, oh, I'm small. Do that face, like, oh, the world God made me. Right? And then Brad has to bring it down.

Speaker 1:
[02:26] Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 2:
[02:27] It's for the person before, but it's not our laugh. All right.

Speaker 1:
[02:30] You know what? We're not going to do any more funny stuff. No more comedy. I think we're done with comedy. All weekend long. All weekend long.

Speaker 2:
[02:38] That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is-

Speaker 1:
[02:40] Oh my gosh, Brad left his toothbrush here at the studio.

Speaker 2:
[02:43] Yeah, and his pen. And his pen. Another thing is-

Speaker 1:
[02:48] Get it off your chest.

Speaker 2:
[02:49] When like one time I was in the OR and Steve Byrne halfway during myself grabbed the mic from the side of the stage and walked up on stage and then goes, let's do a duo. Let's play with the crowd. And that made me so mad.

Speaker 1:
[03:07] This is very funny. You know, he at San Francisco at the last time I just played Punch, he showed up and he came on stage at the end of my.

Speaker 2:
[03:14] Did you ask him to come up or did you just come up on stage?

Speaker 1:
[03:17] He just came up.

Speaker 2:
[03:18] No, are you being real?

Speaker 1:
[03:19] I'm being serious.

Speaker 2:
[03:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[03:20] But I welcomed it with open arms. I thought it was-

Speaker 2:
[03:21] Yeah, I don't welcome with open arms.

Speaker 1:
[03:23] You didn't want it?

Speaker 2:
[03:24] He's half Korean.

Speaker 1:
[03:25] Oh, he's not a full.

Speaker 2:
[03:25] He's not full.

Speaker 1:
[03:26] Yeah, you gotta be a full. To pull that kind of stunt, you gotta be a full.

Speaker 2:
[03:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta be a full.

Speaker 1:
[03:29] I actually totally agree.

Speaker 2:
[03:30] Yeah, yeah. No, because it's like, I'm in the middle of a setup and all of a sudden, what's up? Without asking.

Speaker 1:
[03:38] And it's just like, I don Also, from an outsider's perspective, it looks like your Korean uncle who's got it together because he wears a suit is coming to like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk you down a little bit.

Speaker 4:
[03:49] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[03:50] Let me do comedy for you.

Speaker 2:
[03:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[03:51] Because he wears suits.

Speaker 4:
[03:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[03:52] And we wear clothes.

Speaker 2:
[03:53] Yeah. I also don't like this. I just realize, right?

Speaker 1:
[03:56] God, give it to me. Give me the idol.

Speaker 2:
[03:57] I'm gonna give you the feature smile.

Speaker 1:
[04:00] What is it?

Speaker 2:
[04:01] So what happens is, you're backstage. Cause I just played the San Jose Improv and Ramsey Baddali had a really good set before me. And so there's a curtain and he opens it and he has a smile, right?

Speaker 1:
[04:16] At you?

Speaker 4:
[04:17] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[04:18] Like he knows he killed, right?

Speaker 4:
[04:20] Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
[04:21] And he go, if you do feature smiles again.

Speaker 1:
[04:24] No feature smiles.

Speaker 2:
[04:25] No, no, no. I need a frown. I know how well you did. I heard it.

Speaker 1:
[04:28] I tell my features, no smiling at all. No comedy. I say, go up there, say hello, tell people where you're from. Tell them the favorite foods you have. And that's it. And then get off. Bring up the headliner.

Speaker 2:
[04:41] And then the last thing I want to, can I just get off my chest?

Speaker 1:
[04:44] I love stuff on your chest. Pause.

Speaker 4:
[04:47] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[04:48] Are you being real?

Speaker 1:
[04:49] Yeah. I want you to get it off your chest.

Speaker 4:
[04:50] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[04:51] So, what? I hate needy hosts.

Speaker 1:
[04:58] Was that good? Was I funny?

Speaker 2:
[05:00] No, I had a local, nice girl. She's already, I already brutally, you know what I mean, verbalize it to her.

Speaker 1:
[05:06] Well, then so should we be talking about it?

Speaker 4:
[05:08] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[05:08] Well, I could just be vague about it.

Speaker 1:
[05:10] It's going to ruminate feelings again then for her. She's going to hear this a hundred percent and be like, that's about me.

Speaker 2:
[05:15] No, maybe it's going to teach her a lesson.

Speaker 4:
[05:17] Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:
[05:24] Did she bomb?

Speaker 2:
[05:25] No, she did great.

Speaker 1:
[05:26] Oh, well, then okay.

Speaker 2:
[05:27] No, she did great. I think she has a future.

Speaker 1:
[05:34] I do.

Speaker 2:
[05:34] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[05:35] Yeah. You're not selling me on it.

Speaker 2:
[05:37] Yeah, yeah, but can I-

Speaker 1:
[05:37] Be a car salesman. She has a future?

Speaker 2:
[05:40] Well, how is this? Welcome to Open Mic Night Lot. What? The Open Mic Night Lot.

Speaker 1:
[05:46] Oh, it's at the lot.

Speaker 2:
[05:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have many new, new open up micers here.

Speaker 1:
[05:50] All new, new, new, new.

Speaker 2:
[05:50] Yeah, yeah. So we've got, look at this one. This is a, this one's called Catbird. Really quick.

Speaker 1:
[05:58] Snappy.

Speaker 2:
[05:59] Yeah. And it's like, you know what I mean? It's an engine that grows. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's a slim design, right? And it creates food. Because she was a chef. She was?

Speaker 1:
[06:10] No, she was married to a chef.

Speaker 2:
[06:12] No, she was a chef.

Speaker 1:
[06:13] She was a chef.

Speaker 2:
[06:13] She was a Michelin star chef.

Speaker 1:
[06:15] That's not true.

Speaker 2:
[06:15] She worked at Michelin star restaurants as a chef.

Speaker 1:
[06:17] That doesn't make you a Michelin star chef because you worked at a fucking. She poured water. Michelin water.

Speaker 2:
[06:27] Basil at the end. Yeah. The last line person that does the herbs or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[06:33] She goes, water up.

Speaker 2:
[06:34] Yes. Scoop of caviar on top.

Speaker 1:
[06:38] Just one little caviar scoop.

Speaker 2:
[06:39] Yeah. The chef goes, too much caviar.

Speaker 1:
[06:41] What are you fucking doing?

Speaker 4:
[06:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:45] Anyway.

Speaker 1:
[06:45] Get it off your chest.

Speaker 2:
[06:46] So this is Capur. This is another model we have, okay?

Speaker 4:
[06:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[06:52] Is it foreign?

Speaker 2:
[06:53] No, it's black. It's a black sleek color Devendre.

Speaker 1:
[06:58] This is a good car.

Speaker 2:
[06:59] It's a gray car.

Speaker 1:
[07:00] Yeah, fab.

Speaker 2:
[07:01] It's also the best selling.

Speaker 1:
[07:03] It's gotta be, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[07:03] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[07:04] This car, no.

Speaker 4:
[07:09] You're gonna love this car.

Speaker 2:
[07:11] This car right here, right? It doesn't look like it. It asks a lot of questions.

Speaker 1:
[07:14] Too many questions.

Speaker 2:
[07:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Knight Rider.

Speaker 1:
[07:18] It talks the whole time.

Speaker 4:
[07:19] It talks the whole time.

Speaker 1:
[07:20] You can't turn it off.

Speaker 4:
[07:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello. You know what I mean? You're driving too fast.

Speaker 2:
[07:26] All of the rules.

Speaker 4:
[07:27] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[07:28] It talks a lot.

Speaker 1:
[07:29] It talks a lot.

Speaker 2:
[07:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no off button.

Speaker 1:
[07:31] Oh, there's no switch?

Speaker 2:
[07:32] No. Unless you turn it off.

Speaker 1:
[07:35] Unless you're really-

Speaker 2:
[07:35] Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's talking to itself at night. You know what I mean? But yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[07:39] Maybe it'll run out of gas.

Speaker 2:
[07:40] It's a lot of like, you know what I mean? You know, so how do I make it to this? How do I do this?

Speaker 1:
[07:45] Inquisitive.

Speaker 2:
[07:46] Inquisitive, like, you know what I mean? How do you make it? You know what I mean? How do we get an agent? This and that, you know what I mean? And then it's like, you know, you have to go, hey, hey, hey, stop. You have to have that conversation of like, you know, you know.

Speaker 1:
[08:01] I'm the polar opposite. I'm like, I'll give you an Excel spreadsheet on how to do everything that you're asking me to do.

Speaker 2:
[08:06] No, I did tell her what to do.

Speaker 1:
[08:08] You did, you gave her the hints.

Speaker 2:
[08:10] Yeah, I gave her like, this is what you did. But I don't think that she got what I was saying.

Speaker 1:
[08:14] Well, you can lead a horse to water, but it'll eventually be glue. That's what they say. That's the same.

Speaker 5:
[08:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[08:23] Meanwhile, Carlos is wearing a wind hat.

Speaker 2:
[08:25] Yeah, cause you guys were at the wind.

Speaker 1:
[08:26] You bought that hat? Or they give us those hats?

Speaker 3:
[08:28] No, I bought it. I got the same one at Caesar's years ago.

Speaker 1:
[08:32] I know, I remember this.

Speaker 3:
[08:32] I like the specific hat.

Speaker 2:
[08:34] It's, I have my circus hat at home. I should have brought it in.

Speaker 1:
[08:41] Fancy to get that Stratosphere hat. Everywhere I go in the casino, where's Bobby, bro?

Speaker 2:
[08:49] I get that every time at the airport.

Speaker 1:
[08:51] Why can't we make a shirt that says, where's Bobby?

Speaker 2:
[08:53] Where's Santino?

Speaker 1:
[08:54] We should make sure to say, where's Bobby? We had a great time. By the way, I had a conversation with my driver, my Uber driver on the way to the airport. So nice, so nice, but I was very tired. We had a long weekend. I just kind of wanted to chill. And he was chatty chatty. Inquisitive. He was chatty chatty bang bang. He was very inquisitive.

Speaker 2:
[09:13] You don't know the rules?

Speaker 1:
[09:14] What do you mean?

Speaker 2:
[09:15] What you do.

Speaker 1:
[09:16] What do I do?

Speaker 2:
[09:17] I open with a statement.

Speaker 1:
[09:19] You say, I don't want to talk.

Speaker 2:
[09:20] No.

Speaker 1:
[09:20] What do you say?

Speaker 2:
[09:21] Okay, hey dude, I'm going to be listening to music. So if you need anything, just, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[09:24] That's smart.

Speaker 2:
[09:24] Put your hand up.

Speaker 1:
[09:25] But he was a fan.

Speaker 2:
[09:27] But my earphones aren't even on.

Speaker 1:
[09:31] Okay, so the Uber driver, super nice guy. He's a big fan, loves Bad Friends, loves you.

Speaker 2:
[09:35] How do you know?

Speaker 1:
[09:36] He vocalized it.

Speaker 2:
[09:38] Verbally? Or through hand language or?

Speaker 1:
[09:43] It was nonverbal.

Speaker 2:
[09:44] It was nonverbal? Through facial expressions.

Speaker 1:
[09:45] He goes, bad friend.

Speaker 2:
[09:47] That's verbal. And he went, yeah, that's Bad Friends.

Speaker 4:
[09:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:53] No, this is Bad Friends. And-

Speaker 4:
[09:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[09:56] So he did that?

Speaker 1:
[09:57] He said he loved us.

Speaker 4:
[09:58] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:58] And then he was talking and I said, he was talking, he was like, oh, I just drove back from LA, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I've been in the car for like 30 hours or something like that. I was like, oh, that's crazy. And he said, I got a gift sent to me from my home country for my sister's wedding or something. I had to go pick it up. I said, oh, that's cool. Where originally are you from? Pakistan. And immediately, I'm in like a mood, like he's trying to talk about, and I just, all I kept thinking about was those videos from Pakistan. It's like, do you love Pakistan? Do you know those videos? And I started talking to him. He goes, I love those videos. One day, I'm going to be pilot. Dude, what will you do for Pakistan? And so I'm literally just yelling at him like that in the car. I'm not even letting get another word out. I keep going, I love, Pakistan is great. And then he goes, I have no problem with that. I'm Pakistani, I have Indian friends. So he's opened up this gate. I'm like, oh no, I just think the videos are funny. He's like, no, but I understand there's a lot of hatred in the world right now, as far as I was like, oh no, I think he, and he goes, and I'm Muslim. And he goes, my barber is Jewish. And I was, and then he'd start to keep talking. I go, Jewish barber. Have you ever Jewish barber? Is that a thing?

Speaker 2:
[11:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[11:07] I mean, what a disappointment for the family.

Speaker 2:
[11:08] Does that Jewish barber go to another, an American barber to attack the Muslim guy?

Speaker 1:
[11:16] No, but he says, I'm Muslim. And he goes, well, I'm not a practicing. He's like, I'm not like, you know, praying five times a day. And then that logged in my brain for the rest of the time.

Speaker 4:
[11:23] I couldn't hear what he was saying.

Speaker 1:
[11:25] Five times is a lot of times.

Speaker 2:
[11:27] A day, he says he prays five times a day?

Speaker 1:
[11:29] Not anymore. It's exhausting. But also, why would they do that? Why not breakfast, lunch, and dinner? It's called Fajr, Sunrise, Dhur, Asr, Maghrib, and Isha.

Speaker 2:
[11:39] But the thing is, is that it can be quick.

Speaker 1:
[11:42] All right, do a prayer right now, go. That's it.

Speaker 2:
[11:48] I mean-

Speaker 1:
[11:49] Wait, you are facing east.

Speaker 2:
[11:50] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how quick was that prayer?

Speaker 1:
[11:52] That was really good.

Speaker 2:
[11:53] And if I did that five times, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip. I mean, it's over.

Speaker 1:
[11:58] If Bobby was Muslim and had to pray, you know the little rug that they have?

Speaker 2:
[12:03] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[12:04] Imagine how he would have the most fancy, vintage, cool rug. He would have to have the dopest rug out of all the rugs.

Speaker 2:
[12:12] It would be the high-end Montclair rug.

Speaker 1:
[12:16] It would be a fancy rug. Is that a Goyard prayer rug?

Speaker 2:
[12:21] Yeah, it would be the dopest rug.

Speaker 1:
[12:22] You would have a fancy rug.

Speaker 2:
[12:23] Oh, yeah. And different brands, though, too. I would do a Balenciaga rug. Just for a Friday, I'm about clubbing. I would have a Montclair one. I would have a, if Golden Goose had a rug, that'd be cool.

Speaker 1:
[12:39] I guarantee you they'd make one.

Speaker 2:
[12:40] And then a made one rug where it's kind of tattered. And look at old school. You know, made from a 50s.

Speaker 1:
[12:46] It's a vintage.

Speaker 2:
[12:47] It's a vintage but brand new rug.

Speaker 1:
[12:48] Yeah. Let's get you Muslim, dude.

Speaker 2:
[12:51] Yeah, I'll get Muslim.

Speaker 1:
[12:52] Sign up. Sign up and go Muslim. Why not?

Speaker 2:
[12:54] Well, five times is a lot.

Speaker 1:
[12:55] It's just a lot of times to stop and roll out together.

Speaker 2:
[12:58] I would probably go Zoroastrianism. Ooh. There's only like 600 of them on planet Earth. And I don't even know exactly what they practice, but that seems like, what, it's also before Christ. You know what I mean? So before Christianity.

Speaker 1:
[13:13] You mean BC?

Speaker 2:
[13:14] Yeah, BC. So it's like, I think I would go with Zoroastrianism.

Speaker 1:
[13:18] That's how cocky Christians are. They name time before their own time. I know. But it's still their time.

Speaker 2:
[13:24] Exactly.

Speaker 1:
[13:24] BC still is us. You're like, well, Christ not exist yet. I know, but it's still our time. Cause it's always been. That's awesome.

Speaker 2:
[13:31] I mean, how do you feel about, I think I'm being affected about the world around me, the war and all that stuff.

Speaker 1:
[13:37] I was at Marshmallow Nightclub last night. I don't know what's going on in the world, dude. We went out till 4.30, five in the morning. Unbelievable. What are we doing? We were at, they were like, you want to go to Marshmallow? I was like, I, yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2:
[13:51] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[13:51] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[13:51] You went to Marshmallow, huh?

Speaker 4:
[13:52] I didn't go to that. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[13:54] He went to his room.

Speaker 2:
[13:55] I went to Sprinkles. I got cupcakes.

Speaker 4:
[13:58] You do.

Speaker 2:
[13:59] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[14:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[14:00] I see the Sprinkles cupcake vending machines. There's no way they're making money. You don't want to buy it out of.

Speaker 2:
[14:05] No, no, no. How long has it been in there?

Speaker 6:
[14:07] That's closed down.

Speaker 2:
[14:08] Oh, it's closed down?

Speaker 1:
[14:09] They're all closed?

Speaker 6:
[14:10] LA.

Speaker 2:
[14:11] But do you buy like headphones from the kiosk?

Speaker 1:
[14:14] So one time I did have to buy because I forgot mine on a long trip. And I thought, who's buying it? I was. I was the guy.

Speaker 2:
[14:22] People would be like, whoo, whoo, whoo.

Speaker 1:
[14:23] And I'm sitting there.

Speaker 2:
[14:24] I'm gonna do.

Speaker 1:
[14:25] And I'm ashamed.

Speaker 2:
[14:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[14:26] People passing by like, dude, who buys that? What are you doing?

Speaker 2:
[14:29] But imagine like, you know, like when you buy a candy bar and it gets stuck, right? You're like, it's 60 cents, right?

Speaker 1:
[14:35] But an air pod.

Speaker 2:
[14:36] But doing an air pod, a Bose, you know what I mean? Air pod. That's $300. Imagine that getting stuck. And you're like banging on the fucking machine. It's $300.

Speaker 1:
[14:45] You're buying meta glasses and they're stuck?

Speaker 2:
[14:47] Imagine. Imagine a kid getting stuck in there. You know how they do it in fucking those-

Speaker 1:
[14:52] They crawl through the thing.

Speaker 2:
[14:53] The crane machine. The crane machine. How do they get in there? Some nerd is in there.

Speaker 4:
[14:56] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[14:56] Some nerd kid is in there.

Speaker 6:
[14:57] You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[15:01] Some sweet little nerd.

Speaker 4:
[15:02] Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1:
[15:03] What, so San Jose was good?

Speaker 2:
[15:06] You know-

Speaker 1:
[15:06] You love it up there.

Speaker 2:
[15:07] Well, I mean, I played that room for over 20 years and it's like, it's very comfortable, but it's, you know, it's the same thing where it's like-

Speaker 1:
[15:13] I gotta do that place.

Speaker 2:
[15:14] Yeah, it's a great club.

Speaker 1:
[15:15] I never done it.

Speaker 2:
[15:16] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[15:17] I know. I just never did an improv run.

Speaker 2:
[15:19] Wow. It's a theater. You'll love it.

Speaker 1:
[15:21] No, no, I just mean I've only done a few improvs. I never really did a bunch of improvs.

Speaker 2:
[15:25] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[15:25] But you used to do that all the time.

Speaker 2:
[15:27] I'm an improv guy.

Speaker 1:
[15:28] But you used to do San Jose like twice a year.

Speaker 2:
[15:30] Sometimes, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[15:31] It's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[15:32] It's a great audience. But you know how I've been going to the comedy store for so long that when I go in there, I feel nauseous. What do you mean? Because I've been there so long that it just kind of makes me want to go this again.

Speaker 1:
[15:50] What?

Speaker 2:
[15:51] Yeah, like there's a nausea that happens.

Speaker 1:
[15:52] You're losing the love of the store?

Speaker 2:
[15:54] No, I've always loved it, but it's just like, you know, going into your living room.

Speaker 1:
[15:59] I love my living room.

Speaker 4:
[16:00] Oh, you do?

Speaker 2:
[16:00] You don't feel nauseous?

Speaker 1:
[16:03] Sick in my house?

Speaker 4:
[16:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[16:05] You can experience nausea from visiting the same place repeatedly due to several factors, and conditioned responses, environmental triggers.

Speaker 2:
[16:09] Yeah, yeah. I've had a lot of trauma at the store back in the day. I don't know. There's just something about that. But San Jose improv has the same effect.

Speaker 1:
[16:19] You get nauseous when you go.

Speaker 2:
[16:20] When I walk into the building, I just feel nauseous.

Speaker 1:
[16:22] Well, that's not good.

Speaker 2:
[16:23] It's not good. It's just because I've been going there for so long, and it's just like-

Speaker 3:
[16:27] You should stop then.

Speaker 2:
[16:28] No, I mean, maybe. I'm day nine not smoking.

Speaker 1:
[16:33] You guys, come on. That's a huge deal. Day nine is, I think they say, what's the day that you stop? What's like the crest? What day is like you finally get over the hump of not smoking? It's got to be like two weeks. You got to be getting close. I want this for you so bad. After the first week, okay? So seven to 10 days is when you're gonna start to clear up and then two to four weeks, you're gonna be clean, ready to rock and roll.

Speaker 2:
[16:57] Yeah, yeah. So anyway, maybe that had something to do with it, but there's always a kind of a, it's also what bummed me out was, so the Friday first show, you know, it's a theater, so it's like, I go to the balcony and it's empty.

Speaker 1:
[17:19] What do you mean?

Speaker 2:
[17:20] No one's there.

Speaker 1:
[17:21] The show's not on yet.

Speaker 2:
[17:22] No, it's starting.

Speaker 1:
[17:24] And you're on the balcony, so it's not sold out upstairs?

Speaker 2:
[17:26] They said it's all sold out.

Speaker 1:
[17:28] People buy tickets that don't show up all the time.

Speaker 2:
[17:30] I know, but what happened was, this is a date a year ago, I never just showed up. I just didn't show up.

Speaker 1:
[17:38] You rescheduled it.

Speaker 2:
[17:39] Yeah, so it was rescheduled, so all the tickets from that transferred over this, right? So like a lot of people just didn't show up.

Speaker 1:
[17:46] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[17:47] Right, and it bummed me out.

Speaker 1:
[17:49] I understand. The fucking cookies, look at the cookies the little made for me and the show was really nice. This one's kind of my favorite, I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 2:
[17:58] Well, I'll have the one with me on it.

Speaker 1:
[17:59] You know what's so funny about this cookie? That's old Bob. Do you notice that? That's old Bob with long hair, old Bob. And I saw a video of you posted on the internet with old hair, old Bob hair. And it made me miss the long hair.

Speaker 2:
[18:10] I'm growing it out.

Speaker 1:
[18:11] You have to.

Speaker 2:
[18:11] I am.

Speaker 1:
[18:12] Because I love when you have long hair.

Speaker 4:
[18:14] I'm growing it out.

Speaker 1:
[18:15] Because old Bob hair, like that, when it was that long.

Speaker 2:
[18:18] Oh, it's going to be long.

Speaker 1:
[18:19] There's videos when we first started this podcast.

Speaker 4:
[18:21] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[18:21] Your hair was insane. Your hair was insane.

Speaker 2:
[18:24] I know.

Speaker 1:
[18:24] You know who didn't get high this weekend? Carlos. He was a good boy in Vegas, no less.

Speaker 2:
[18:28] He does it behind your back.

Speaker 1:
[18:29] No, he doesn't.

Speaker 2:
[18:29] Yeah, he does. I smoked weed.

Speaker 3:
[18:30] Remember I told you I was vaping it in the room.

Speaker 1:
[18:34] You were?

Speaker 3:
[18:35] Yeah, I told you. You said you're not doing anything.

Speaker 2:
[18:37] Dude, what kind of boss are you, dude?

Speaker 1:
[18:40] Not a good one.

Speaker 2:
[18:41] Right behind your back. He even says it to you and you don't even listen.

Speaker 1:
[18:44] Well, I'm a great boss.

Speaker 2:
[18:46] You're not a great boss.

Speaker 1:
[18:47] No, I'm a good boss.

Speaker 2:
[18:47] No, you're not a good boss, dude. He's like, your employee goes, hey, boss, I'm smoking weed right in front of your face. Yeah. You're like, he didn't do any drugs this weekend. Yeah. You're a bad dad.

Speaker 1:
[18:58] I'm trying to, I would not be a bad dad.

Speaker 2:
[19:00] You're a bad dad, dude.

Speaker 1:
[19:01] You know why? Because I'm cool. Okay. You know what?

Speaker 2:
[19:03] I know.

Speaker 1:
[19:04] Here's the problem. Here's the problem.

Speaker 2:
[19:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[19:07] When he vapes, I don't know if it's weed or if it's vape.

Speaker 2:
[19:10] He just said he told you he was doing it.

Speaker 1:
[19:13] I was not paying attention. I was busy.

Speaker 2:
[19:15] Wait. How did you say it? I'm Andrew. Look at me. Look at me, right?

Speaker 3:
[19:21] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[19:21] And what is Andrew doing?

Speaker 3:
[19:22] Andrew goes, you're being a good boy, right? And I go, okay.

Speaker 2:
[19:25] You're being a good boy, right?

Speaker 3:
[19:27] He goes, no, I forget what else he says, but I go.

Speaker 2:
[19:29] Just let me just say it the way you... Who cares what he says?

Speaker 1:
[19:32] Let him play the scene.

Speaker 2:
[19:33] Yeah. Let me play the scene, right?

Speaker 3:
[19:34] All right. You're Andrew.

Speaker 4:
[19:35] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:36] You're being a good boy, huh?

Speaker 6:
[19:38] Your lip is bleeding.

Speaker 1:
[19:41] Put some blood on your lip.

Speaker 4:
[19:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[19:43] It's fine. Go.

Speaker 2:
[19:44] No, I need blood.

Speaker 1:
[19:45] You got it.

Speaker 2:
[19:46] See, this is...

Speaker 1:
[19:48] An actor prepares.

Speaker 4:
[19:48] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:49] I need blood.

Speaker 1:
[19:50] An actor prepares. And there's some red there. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[19:59] You're a good boy, huh?

Speaker 3:
[20:01] No, I'm just vaping weed, don't worry about it.

Speaker 4:
[20:05] That's what you did?

Speaker 1:
[20:05] I was worried about my show, I was thinking about the set. What did I really say when you told me you were vaping?

Speaker 3:
[20:11] You said that that was worse than smoking joints.

Speaker 1:
[20:14] Yeah, it is. What's in those fucking things?

Speaker 2:
[20:16] It doesn't matter. It's the thing you did know, so you lied to me.

Speaker 1:
[20:19] No, I just forgot.

Speaker 4:
[20:21] Zbiotics.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
[22:44] That's quo.com, quo.com/badfriends.

Speaker 2:
[22:48] Quince. You know, I'm going to an event, the Asian event.

Speaker 1:
[22:51] Oh, I love the Asian.

Speaker 2:
[22:52] The Golden Gala.

Speaker 1:
[22:53] The Golden Gala.

Speaker 2:
[22:54] I got a shirt from Quince, okay? It's a blue Oxford button-up, Oxford button-up, right? It looks like a $2,000 piece of shirt. It's high class. And that's why I bought it. I got a Quince shirt. I'm going to look fab.

Speaker 1:
[23:08] You're going to look way fab.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 2:
[23:30] And the best part is their price is 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[24:01] quince.com/badfriends. I'm like at the San Jose Improv, right? They have a security guy that walks me to my hotel and I'm like, stop.

Speaker 1:
[24:12] Yeah, but they do that for they do.

Speaker 2:
[24:13] I don't need I know where to go.

Speaker 1:
[24:15] Yeah, but you're easily attackable. No, dude, people attack you all the time.

Speaker 2:
[24:19] But before like the other rest of the day, you're free. I'm just walking around alone in the same area and stuff like that. Why in this specific incident?

Speaker 1:
[24:29] Because you're under their tutelage right now. You're under there. They if you got hurt, it'd be on them during that. When they're done with you.

Speaker 2:
[24:34] I think once I get out of the club, it's free.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] I agree.

Speaker 2:
[24:37] Yeah, yeah. I think it's like, you know, I mean, our responsibly is over.

Speaker 3:
[24:40] You like it.

Speaker 2:
[24:41] I don't because I always tell them like, please just stay here.

Speaker 1:
[24:45] But he does like to smoke back in the day. He would smoke behind the security guard and walk and very like, like gallivant behind the security and like dart his eyes. Yeah, you're sultry.

Speaker 3:
[24:55] Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1:
[24:56] When we were on tour, you'd be walking behind the security and you do this. You'd be like sexually smoking.

Speaker 2:
[25:00] You never see me do that.

Speaker 1:
[25:01] Yes, you would.

Speaker 2:
[25:02] You're pissing me off.

Speaker 1:
[25:03] Everyone's nodding. Everyone's fucking nodding.

Speaker 2:
[25:06] You're pissing me off. I've never done that.

Speaker 1:
[25:07] You would romantic.

Speaker 2:
[25:08] Making the security guard walk in the front. I've never done that.

Speaker 1:
[25:12] That's not the face. No, don't do that.

Speaker 4:
[25:14] All right, what are you doing?

Speaker 1:
[25:15] No, you would like cool, like very like-

Speaker 2:
[25:18] But you're doing this with your hand.

Speaker 1:
[25:20] You do, when you walk-

Speaker 2:
[25:20] No, I don't. Do I?

Speaker 1:
[25:22] When you walk with your cigarette, you kind of bob a little bit. And when you walk in, then you'll smoke, and then your eyes will be darting all romantically.

Speaker 2:
[25:27] I'm listening to the Doobie Brothers or something.

Speaker 1:
[25:29] No, you're not.

Speaker 2:
[25:30] Yeah, yeah. I bop, too. I bop when I listen to the Doobie Brothers.

Speaker 1:
[25:33] You're so good.

Speaker 2:
[25:33] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[25:34] You're Doobie Bobber.

Speaker 2:
[25:34] Listen to the music. Dude. So it's like, I'm Doobie brothering it.

Speaker 1:
[25:40] It's romantic, though.

Speaker 2:
[25:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, and I don't know if that's a security guard. You're saying that behind the security guard.

Speaker 1:
[25:45] You would walk behind-

Speaker 2:
[25:45] I'm Doobie brothering it.

Speaker 1:
[25:46] You would Doobie brother it.

Speaker 2:
[25:47] All right. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[25:49] So anyway, I took mushrooms last night.

Speaker 2:
[25:51] Can you put that in?

Speaker 1:
[25:52] Yeah, I felt amazing.

Speaker 2:
[25:54] When was the last time you took mushrooms?

Speaker 1:
[25:57] A couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 2:
[25:58] Oh, but was it more of a dosage?

Speaker 1:
[26:01] This one was higher.

Speaker 2:
[26:02] Yeah, much higher.

Speaker 1:
[26:03] Yeah, because I've been microdosing.

Speaker 2:
[26:04] Oh, you've been microdosing.

Speaker 1:
[26:05] My mental health.

Speaker 2:
[26:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:06] I genuinely have.

Speaker 2:
[26:07] And I heard it helps.

Speaker 1:
[26:09] I do feel much better at night.

Speaker 2:
[26:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:12] When I microdose, I do feel like the end of the day, I don't have as much anxiety before I go to bed because I used to lay in wake in bed at night.

Speaker 2:
[26:18] I haven't come in three weeks.

Speaker 1:
[26:20] Start microdosing, dude.

Speaker 2:
[26:21] Yeah, yeah, because of the lexapra.

Speaker 1:
[26:23] Wait, really?

Speaker 2:
[26:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[26:24] So you can't not?

Speaker 2:
[26:25] I can't cut.

Speaker 1:
[26:26] What comes out?

Speaker 2:
[26:27] I can't not nothing. I mean, I haven't even tried.

Speaker 1:
[26:31] Really?

Speaker 2:
[26:32] Yeah, it's weird.

Speaker 1:
[26:34] Do they have something to combat that? They do.

Speaker 2:
[26:36] No.

Speaker 1:
[26:36] One, two, three.

Speaker 2:
[26:41] Now blue tube gold.

Speaker 4:
[26:44] Anoxanil and mololocalol.

Speaker 1:
[26:47] It's a main ingredient. Anoxanil and mololocalol.

Speaker 4:
[26:50] The two ones that I can't say.

Speaker 1:
[26:52] No, I didn't. I watched my cousin play roulette, and I was feeling fantastic.

Speaker 2:
[26:56] Oh, your cousin was there?

Speaker 4:
[26:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[26:58] Was he juicing too or what?

Speaker 1:
[26:59] He was having a great time.

Speaker 4:
[27:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:01] He is. He's so funny.

Speaker 2:
[27:03] But then when I was using in Mexico, we weren't doing that.

Speaker 4:
[27:07] Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:
[27:08] Who?

Speaker 2:
[27:08] You and I.

Speaker 1:
[27:09] We were not having a good time when you were using in Mexico.

Speaker 2:
[27:11] Yeah, but because why is it not, like why couldn't we have those times?

Speaker 1:
[27:14] Because you're a drug addict and you have no control. Because you don't use until you get high and feel good. You use until it's unmanageable, until there's poop on the walls and you're screaming and you're pointing in my face in front of people going, you fucking lied. This is, there's no booze in it. You fucking liar.

Speaker 2:
[27:32] You know what I love?

Speaker 1:
[27:32] In front of everyone.

Speaker 2:
[27:33] You know who I am? You know what I mean? I'm Ren from Ren and Stimpy.

Speaker 1:
[27:38] Yeah, you are.

Speaker 2:
[27:39] Yeah. Stimpy the dog. Ren's the dog, right?

Speaker 1:
[27:41] Ren's little weird dog.

Speaker 2:
[27:42] Yeah, yeah. I love Ren because Ren's so paranoid.

Speaker 1:
[27:46] Yeah, that's, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[27:47] You know what I mean? And he gets in people's faces and he has these delusions. You know what I mean? And I love that character.

Speaker 1:
[27:53] Somehow you're both of these guys.

Speaker 2:
[27:55] I think so. I think I am Ren, Ren and Stimpy.

Speaker 1:
[27:57] You're Stimpy and Ren.

Speaker 2:
[27:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love that cartoon. But anyway, yeah, I ran out when I, I'm like.

Speaker 1:
[28:03] It's just when you, you're in it.

Speaker 2:
[28:04] You're up to something.

Speaker 1:
[28:05] No, and then you pointed at my face and you yelled at me in front of everyone because you wanted booze and I lied to you and I got you.

Speaker 2:
[28:10] Yeah, yeah, because I'm no dumb dumb. I know what you're doing.

Speaker 1:
[28:14] But you were so fucked up.

Speaker 2:
[28:15] But I know what you're doing.

Speaker 1:
[28:16] Well, protecting you.

Speaker 2:
[28:17] Yeah, yeah, but I can, I'll just get my own drink.

Speaker 6:
[28:19] I mean, you flew to Mexico with a suitcase full of drugs.

Speaker 1:
[28:23] Full of drugs. You open your suitcase.

Speaker 2:
[28:25] And guess what? I flew back with no drugs.

Speaker 1:
[28:28] Yeah, because of us.

Speaker 2:
[28:30] No, I did it all. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[28:33] You're right.

Speaker 2:
[28:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:34] You did.

Speaker 2:
[28:34] But that's called magic.

Speaker 1:
[28:36] That is called magic.

Speaker 2:
[28:37] In a weird way. Okay. So it's like, but we never had that when, next time I go out.

Speaker 1:
[28:43] No, you're not going.

Speaker 2:
[28:44] Yeah, yeah. No, shut the fuck up. All right. I'm tired of this fucking bullshit. I'm boss too. All right. You're boss number two? Yeah, I'm like the vice president. I'm JD Vance.

Speaker 1:
[28:56] You kind of are.

Speaker 4:
[28:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:57] You're a little fancy.

Speaker 4:
[28:58] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[28:59] You know.

Speaker 1:
[28:59] You're not going to go out.

Speaker 2:
[29:00] What I'm saying is the next time I go out, you know what I mean? God forbid it doesn't happen, right? I want to night. I want to go to Marshmallow. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[29:08] You can go to Marshmallow without using it.

Speaker 2:
[29:10] No, I want to go to Marshmallow. I want to be on Stromed. I want to be on Ketamine. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[29:13] Oh, Carlos.

Speaker 2:
[29:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to go to Vegas. I want to be able to like walk out of a fucking bathroom and go, yeah, are you okay? You know what I mean? But actually, half cocaine in my nose.

Speaker 1:
[29:25] No.

Speaker 2:
[29:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want that next time. It's never gonna happen, but hypothetically, it could. And what I'm saying is that the next time, don't cut me out. I won't. Because unless I went out, you cut me out. You were all being parental.

Speaker 1:
[29:39] I think because you were-

Speaker 2:
[29:40] That doesn't matter. No, I want good time.

Speaker 6:
[29:42] Not Carlos, Carlos.

Speaker 3:
[29:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[29:44] Oh, so you're mad that we are protecting you.

Speaker 2:
[29:46] I don't want to be protected, dude. Yes, you do. I want to go to Marshmallow. I want to go out with Andrés and have those times.

Speaker 6:
[29:53] We can do it without alcohol.

Speaker 2:
[29:55] No, next time. No, we can't have those times because I'm all fucking Christian on the road now.

Speaker 1:
[30:00] You're not Christian on the road.

Speaker 2:
[30:01] Yeah, but I'm like, I'm going to bed now.

Speaker 1:
[30:03] Yeah, but we did that too. I do that.

Speaker 2:
[30:05] I know you eventually did, but I do it at like 11. So my point being is that you guys can have your Vegas nightlife and still, and I get cut out when I'm out.

Speaker 1:
[30:17] What's cause you can't? Because you're a drug addict.

Speaker 2:
[30:21] It's a label and I refuse to believe it. I know I am one.

Speaker 1:
[30:25] You are. I am and I do.

Speaker 2:
[30:27] He is?

Speaker 1:
[30:28] I know, but he's not.

Speaker 2:
[30:28] Well, why is he okay?

Speaker 1:
[30:30] He's not okay.

Speaker 4:
[30:31] We're very contractual.

Speaker 2:
[30:32] I know, but why when I wasn't okay?

Speaker 1:
[30:35] Because we care more about you than Carlos.

Speaker 3:
[30:38] You make more money.

Speaker 4:
[30:39] That's how the world works.

Speaker 3:
[30:40] You're famous. You're worth more in this world.

Speaker 2:
[30:42] Oh, so if you passed away from an overdose.

Speaker 3:
[30:45] No, if I like made a movie, all of a sudden y'all would like talk to me more probably and care more about my health.

Speaker 1:
[30:51] I talk to you every day.

Speaker 3:
[30:53] I should have said more.

Speaker 1:
[30:53] This bit is so stupid. We care about all of you equally. The difference is you have control of your addiction right now. He does not.

Speaker 2:
[31:00] I know, but-

Speaker 1:
[31:01] But I can't do anything. What do you want me to do with him? Fire him? Should we fire him?

Speaker 2:
[31:07] Maybe when he's like, you know what I mean? Hey, dad, I'm smoking weed right in front of you.

Speaker 3:
[31:12] That's not bad though to just smoke weed. If I'm just smoking weed, that's so chill. That's like going to war and just showing up for a day with a gun.

Speaker 2:
[31:20] Or you're just outside of Karg Island.

Speaker 3:
[31:22] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[31:24] You're on a ship. You don't know if you're going to attack Karg Island yet. Is that what it is?

Speaker 3:
[31:30] I don't know what Karg Island is.

Speaker 2:
[31:32] Do you know what Karg Island is? It's an island right there that-

Speaker 3:
[31:36] Is this one of your Antarctica theories?

Speaker 2:
[31:38] No, it's not a theory. It's an Iranian island. I mean, they have, you know what I mean, oil reserves there. And-

Speaker 3:
[31:46] This TikTok is full of-

Speaker 1:
[31:48] You've been watching so much. Like, I know how much Iran stuff you've been looking at now. It's all day every day.

Speaker 2:
[31:55] I know. 24 hours a day. I mean, you should see what I was saying before.

Speaker 1:
[31:58] You have to stop.

Speaker 2:
[31:59] Is there a Karg Island? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's on Karg Island?

Speaker 1:
[32:03] Probably oil reserves.

Speaker 2:
[32:04] Godzilla.

Speaker 3:
[32:05] Yeah, a bunch of sand.

Speaker 4:
[32:06] Yeah. Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[32:07] Now he's being fucking racist. Stop.

Speaker 3:
[32:09] That's not racist sand.

Speaker 2:
[32:10] There's more sand. Everywhere has sand.

Speaker 3:
[32:12] Okay. There's oil reserves.

Speaker 2:
[32:16] Exactly. That's what I just said.

Speaker 1:
[32:17] Karg Island is a 7.7 square mile coral island in the Persian Gulf that serves as Iran's primary oil export terminal.

Speaker 4:
[32:24] Right.

Speaker 2:
[32:25] And there's now like questions if the US. Marines are going to charge Karg Island, take control of it.

Speaker 1:
[32:32] Dude, so good. David Attenborough, as the Marines chop, you know?

Speaker 4:
[32:37] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[32:38] I mean, I'm sorry. I'm consumed about the war.

Speaker 3:
[32:41] Why? You're not a soldier.

Speaker 2:
[32:43] I'm an American citizen. I just paid $130 of the pump and I drive a moped. That's a lot, dude. All right.

Speaker 4:
[32:54] Very fair. I drive a moped.

Speaker 1:
[32:55] Was that how much gas it was? $130 to fill up your tank?

Speaker 2:
[32:58] No, it was like 80 something, but I usually pay-

Speaker 1:
[33:00] $80?

Speaker 2:
[33:01] Yeah, but I usually only pay, and that's my small car, $55, $50.

Speaker 3:
[33:05] Do you do the cheap gas?

Speaker 2:
[33:07] No, I do the Supreme.

Speaker 4:
[33:08] Good. What does that mean?

Speaker 1:
[33:09] That's actually a really good question.

Speaker 2:
[33:10] Yeah. Well, I mean, I never knew. Can you explain to me the three different, unleaded, unleaded premium, and then Supreme?

Speaker 3:
[33:17] Cool cars get the fancy one and the shitty one-

Speaker 6:
[33:19] It's like Air One water.

Speaker 2:
[33:22] Oh, it is? No, tell me this difference, because I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[33:24] So I will tell you. So a combustion engine, right?

Speaker 2:
[33:28] What explain that?

Speaker 6:
[33:29] Let's start with a car.

Speaker 1:
[33:36] So a car-

Speaker 3:
[33:36] Start with the car.

Speaker 1:
[33:37] Beep beep, vroom vroom.

Speaker 2:
[33:40] Okay, beep beep, vroom vroom.

Speaker 4:
[33:40] Okay, hold on.

Speaker 1:
[33:42] So a combustion engine, right? Little explosions have to take place within these pistons, right? And these pistons that are in your car that fire, that make it go fast and have, have torque, right? And have power and drive.

Speaker 4:
[33:53] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:54] Higher octane, right? The higher octane numbers, they fire at a cleaner and faster rate. So faster, nicer cars, like F1, they need highest octane levels.

Speaker 4:
[34:04] So they do supreme.

Speaker 1:
[34:05] They do their own, they have a different octane. They have octane that we can't get. F1 gas-

Speaker 2:
[34:10] I need that. How did we get that?

Speaker 1:
[34:12] I don't think your moped can handle that.

Speaker 4:
[34:15] Again? No. Oh, all right, all right.

Speaker 1:
[34:17] I doubt it.

Speaker 4:
[34:18] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[34:18] No, but it's higher octane gas, it burns cleaner and it fires cleaner and it's cleaner for the engine, higher octane, but it's more expensive. But that's what it is. That's essentially why people do that.

Speaker 4:
[34:29] All right, so-

Speaker 1:
[34:30] But people who have like a, just a luxury car, like say someone that has a BMW.

Speaker 4:
[34:35] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[34:35] And just a regular BMW.

Speaker 4:
[34:37] Right.

Speaker 1:
[34:37] And they put in the most expensive, highest octane. It's meaningless. They should just put in, the only reason you would need a higher octane level in your car is if your engine requires a higher minimum because of the performance of the engine. So performance cars need them.

Speaker 2:
[34:54] So in my Hyundai, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[34:57] Your moped.

Speaker 2:
[34:58] My moped, right? I put Supreme in, right? Just thinking that it's better for the engine or whatever, it's pointless.

Speaker 1:
[35:06] No, it is hypothetically better for the engine. It's gonna burn cleaner.

Speaker 2:
[35:09] Well, then I'll just keep doing that.

Speaker 1:
[35:12] But it's not gonna make your engine any, it's not gonna make your moped go faster.

Speaker 4:
[35:16] I'm not trying to go vroom, vroom.

Speaker 1:
[35:17] So then put in the cheapest.

Speaker 2:
[35:19] Yeah, but I want my engine to be healthy.

Speaker 1:
[35:21] It's not even your car.

Speaker 4:
[35:22] Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1:
[35:23] Yeah, you're gonna give it back.

Speaker 2:
[35:24] I am giving it back.

Speaker 1:
[35:24] Yeah, don't do that, it cares. If it's a lease, by the way, to every American, if it's a lease, fucking put the shittiest gas in there, you can find. Go to Sinclair, where the dinosaur is, where it's like $1.86.

Speaker 2:
[35:34] The tar pits?

Speaker 1:
[35:34] The guy's real shit.

Speaker 2:
[35:35] No, I go to the tar pits. In La Brea.

Speaker 4:
[35:38] I scoop it, I scoop it, I stick it in the...

Speaker 1:
[35:40] Manually do it?

Speaker 2:
[35:41] Yeah, manually do it.

Speaker 1:
[35:44] This is the funniest thing about the cookies that I'm knowing of because they're delicious, is they were like doing shout outs, they did White Noise Cookie, they did Whiskey Ginger, they did Bad Friends.

Speaker 2:
[35:52] But you did the John Cena movie.

Speaker 1:
[35:54] What do you mean? We're never gonna be cool leads in a thing.

Speaker 2:
[35:57] Yeah, but people think that you're cool already.

Speaker 1:
[36:00] Whom?

Speaker 2:
[36:02] I'm sorry, when you were in Vegas, did no one come up to show up to your show and buy a ticket?

Speaker 1:
[36:07] Well, Carlos can actually tell you unfortunately nobody came.

Speaker 3:
[36:11] It was a fucking bummer, man.

Speaker 1:
[36:12] Yeah, it was a huge bummer.

Speaker 2:
[36:13] Oh, it was a bummer?

Speaker 4:
[36:13] Yeah. Oh, my bad.

Speaker 1:
[36:14] We went out for a nice little fancy dinner. We had a great little dinner. Carlos paid the bill.

Speaker 2:
[36:21] That's unbelievable.

Speaker 1:
[36:22] He paid the bill.

Speaker 2:
[36:23] Through my tour money.

Speaker 3:
[36:24] You haven't paid me yet. We haven't even started.

Speaker 2:
[36:29] Through my tour money?

Speaker 3:
[36:31] Yeah, you haven't paid me yet.

Speaker 2:
[36:32] But your future tour money? I paid him with my future tour money.

Speaker 3:
[36:37] I paid Delilah with future money.

Speaker 2:
[36:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is my money.

Speaker 3:
[36:40] Yeah, I said Bobby will pay you in four months.

Speaker 2:
[36:41] Yeah, yeah, so I paid for your dinner.

Speaker 4:
[36:43] Hey. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[36:44] You know he didn't pay for the dinner. You know damn well.

Speaker 4:
[36:47] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:48] In fact, I don't think any of them have paid for the dinner.

Speaker 3:
[36:50] I have paid for a dinner before.

Speaker 2:
[36:52] Which one?

Speaker 1:
[36:53] Wait a minute, time out. Before you get it, what are you raising your hand for? When have you paid for a dinner?

Speaker 5:
[36:57] I paid for our breakfast one time.

Speaker 4:
[36:59] When? When?

Speaker 5:
[37:00] I was over there at the white place with the weird squid.

Speaker 2:
[37:05] You and him. Was it a Ku Klux Klan rally?

Speaker 4:
[37:07] What?

Speaker 2:
[37:09] I definitely wasn't there. With the white hoods and the white faces.

Speaker 4:
[37:13] What did you know?

Speaker 5:
[37:14] Whiskey ginger one day.

Speaker 1:
[37:15] Because I didn't have my wallet or something?

Speaker 5:
[37:16] No, you were like, you're paying today. I said, okay. Okay, good.

Speaker 2:
[37:19] That's good. Have you ever paid a meal for me?

Speaker 5:
[37:24] We've gotten food together once.

Speaker 2:
[37:26] That's so not true.

Speaker 5:
[37:27] That's not true. Just me and you together.

Speaker 2:
[37:29] Which one? Where was it?

Speaker 5:
[37:31] You took me to sushi around my birthday.

Speaker 2:
[37:33] Where was it?

Speaker 5:
[37:34] And then we went to see the Mission Impossible.

Speaker 2:
[37:36] That's right. We've done stuff together.

Speaker 5:
[37:38] I know, that was one thing.

Speaker 1:
[37:39] One time.

Speaker 2:
[37:39] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[37:40] It was one time.

Speaker 2:
[37:40] But a great one.

Speaker 5:
[37:41] No, it was great, but yeah, of course.

Speaker 2:
[37:42] Yeah, I don't do like little, like, you know what I mean? White hats, white face, you know what I mean? Breakfast places.

Speaker 1:
[37:47] We don't do that at breakfast.

Speaker 2:
[37:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you would do a nice sushi restaurant and a fucking fine ass movie tickets, right? Yeah, I don't do Wi-Fi, it's white head. You know what I mean? Yeah, so it's like.

Speaker 1:
[37:58] Did you just fart?

Speaker 2:
[37:59] No, it was this. But yeah, so you've, Andrés, have you ever paid for a meal?

Speaker 6:
[38:08] I don't think so. I don't think we've ever been to a meal together.

Speaker 1:
[38:12] Well, as Bad Friends we have.

Speaker 2:
[38:13] Yeah, as a group we have.

Speaker 6:
[38:14] As a group, yes.

Speaker 4:
[38:15] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[38:15] You don't think, yeah, one on one, we've never had a meal together.

Speaker 6:
[38:18] No, I don't think we have that kind of relationship.

Speaker 1:
[38:22] He's just too cool for us now. He's got a kid, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[38:25] Yeah. He's over it. Kind of makes me mad. It's just that whole thing.

Speaker 2:
[38:33] You know what, I'll be honest, I think it's on you. No. Yeah, there's no, you know, I call you a lot, you know what I mean? You only text me, I call you a lot. You only text me, I think it's you.

Speaker 1:
[38:47] I know that's not true, but I'm just going.

Speaker 2:
[38:49] No, no, no, that really is. I call him a lot.

Speaker 1:
[38:51] About what?

Speaker 6:
[38:52] Yeah, about what?

Speaker 2:
[38:53] Do I not call you? What's it about?

Speaker 6:
[38:54] You have called me, but about what? What do you want to, why are you interested in me?

Speaker 1:
[39:00] What are you, a girl?

Speaker 6:
[39:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[39:03] Why do you like me, Bobby? Tell me why you like me.

Speaker 2:
[39:05] Happy birthday?

Speaker 6:
[39:07] Text.

Speaker 2:
[39:08] Oh, that was a text. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean, what time is Bad Friends?

Speaker 6:
[39:12] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[39:13] Yeah, yeah, what time is Bad Friends?

Speaker 2:
[39:14] Yeah, yeah. But you have to read behind the context of it.

Speaker 1:
[39:18] He's saying more than just what happened.

Speaker 2:
[39:19] Yeah, yeah, scramble the words.

Speaker 6:
[39:20] He forced me to say I love you in front of his friends.

Speaker 2:
[39:23] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[39:24] You should say I love you more.

Speaker 2:
[39:25] I mean, these are the things I'm talking about, dude. It's like there's more resistance when it comes to you than me.

Speaker 1:
[39:30] Because he has a lot of repression. Fancy has a lot of repression.

Speaker 2:
[39:32] Yeah, repressed feelings.

Speaker 1:
[39:34] He gets really uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:
[39:35] And then when he got drunk, he got really touchy feely with me.

Speaker 1:
[39:38] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[39:39] Did you not? And that's when your real self comes, where the defense goes down.

Speaker 1:
[39:44] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[39:44] And this is how I really feel.

Speaker 1:
[39:46] Well, I tell you, he wants to be a star now because I pitched a little show about me and him going to like a local bar, to me, like showing him what a local watering hole is like. And literally the other day after the episode, he's like, Andrew, when are we going to do this show where you and I go to that bar?

Speaker 6:
[40:00] And whose name goes where?

Speaker 1:
[40:01] Whose name is on top. He wants to headline the show.

Speaker 4:
[40:04] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[40:05] And by the way, that only reminds me, Macon, that breakfast, that reminds me.

Speaker 4:
[40:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[40:11] This is the funniest part. I know that I did that to you just to tease you, you know, to be like, oh, you pay this time. But I also know that stayed with you for a while. You've been thinking about it.

Speaker 2:
[40:21] Yeah. How much was it?

Speaker 5:
[40:22] No, I was like-

Speaker 2:
[40:23] No, how much was it?

Speaker 1:
[40:24] It was like $30.

Speaker 5:
[40:25] No, it wasn't much, but I was like-

Speaker 1:
[40:26] It was like coffee and-

Speaker 5:
[40:26] But also it's way more than I would have spent on breakfast. But I was like, this is good.

Speaker 2:
[40:30] Can you talk into the mic?

Speaker 5:
[40:32] I was also like, this is a good thing.

Speaker 2:
[40:34] Why is it a good thing?

Speaker 5:
[40:35] Because I get so much, it's nice to pay some back.

Speaker 4:
[40:38] Oh, I see.

Speaker 1:
[40:38] Because he walks around like this all day.

Speaker 4:
[40:40] I know.

Speaker 2:
[40:41] Have I not given you cash before?

Speaker 5:
[40:43] Yeah, you constantly give me cash.

Speaker 2:
[40:44] Yeah, but you can't get me a breakfast?

Speaker 5:
[40:46] If you want to go out for breakfast, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1:
[40:48] He does not want to go out for breakfast.

Speaker 5:
[40:50] Bobby actually texted me the other day out of the blue.

Speaker 1:
[40:52] What did it say?

Speaker 5:
[40:53] He said, Marty Supreme is a film of two halves.

Speaker 1:
[40:57] That's true.

Speaker 4:
[40:58] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[40:58] That's actually a very true statement.

Speaker 5:
[41:00] Leave me out of the blue.

Speaker 4:
[41:01] What?

Speaker 3:
[41:01] This is the New York Times.

Speaker 6:
[41:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[41:04] He's a critic.

Speaker 2:
[41:06] No, I mean, I watched the, I watched the, I mean, can I have my own opinion about the movie?

Speaker 1:
[41:11] It is a film of two halves.

Speaker 6:
[41:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[41:14] I thought that the first half of the movie, right, was like brilliant.

Speaker 1:
[41:17] It was.

Speaker 2:
[41:18] I thought the setup was good. And then I think it just ran away from itself. It became something else. Like there was a lot of editing that needed to go on or whatever. Like it did the thing.

Speaker 1:
[41:29] There was a lot of other movies.

Speaker 2:
[41:31] Other movies in there. And they just, I got lost in it. And, you know, at the end of the day, good movie, but you know what I mean? It doesn't deserve any awards in my opinion.

Speaker 1:
[41:42] Shopify.

Speaker 2:
[41:43] You know, we have an online business here at Bad Friends and we would not be nothing without Shopify, okay?

Speaker 1:
[41:47] That is exactly true.

Speaker 2:
[41:48] You like designing?

Speaker 1:
[41:49] I do.

Speaker 2:
[41:50] Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do.

Speaker 1:
[41:51] Yes, they help you.

Speaker 2:
[41:52] The design studio.

Speaker 1:
[41:53] Yes, it's one of the best out there. You know, you seem like you got a huge marketing team. You can easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling, thanks to Shopify. If you don't know, they've been around for a long time. And thankfully they got that iconic purple shop pay button. It's used by millions, millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet.

Speaker 2:
[42:18] Accelerate your efficiency whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography.

Speaker 1:
[42:31] They got 24-7 award-winning customer support if you get stuck, which you probably won't. But if you do, they're always around to help you out. They help boost conversions, meaning less carts are going to go abandon and more sales are going to go to you. So thank you to Shopify. They help us out. It's time to turn those what-ifs into With Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/badfriends.

Speaker 2:
[42:53] Go to shopify.com/badfriends.

Speaker 1:
[42:55] That is shopify.com/badfriends.

Speaker 2:
[42:58] Mars man. You know what I'm lacking?

Speaker 1:
[43:01] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[43:01] What?

Speaker 1:
[43:02] I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[43:02] Testosterone.

Speaker 1:
[43:03] A little bit.

Speaker 2:
[43:04] I was born with none.

Speaker 1:
[43:05] No, that's impossible.

Speaker 4:
[43:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it does get harder.

Speaker 2:
[43:07] And guess what? And guess what? With Mars men, testosterone.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[43:25] There's no, there's no weird stimulants or synthetic hormones.

Speaker 1:
[43:28] Nothing.

Speaker 2:
[43:29] It's real natural ingredients like toncar, ali, shilajit, zinc, boron, and more than healthy tea levels, weight management, and exercise performance.

Speaker 1:
[43:40] The quality of this stuff is legit. It's made in the United States. Every batch is third-party tested. So you know that it is good. You have more constant energy, stronger lifts, better focus. And I got to tell you, I haven't felt this good since I was in my 20s. And I do, I love it. I do love feeling good after a good workout. You got a 90-day money-back guarantee, there's no risk, worst-case scenario. You don't love it, you get your money back. Over 91% of users report higher energy levels.

Speaker 2:
[44:03] It's also made in the USA.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
[44:17] That's mengotomars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out. And it's also available on Amazon.

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Speaker 1:
[46:11] I think the coolest thing is that Sean Penn got awarded and didn't show up last time.

Speaker 2:
[46:14] He was in Ukraine.

Speaker 1:
[46:15] He gave it to Zelensky.

Speaker 2:
[46:17] I love that.

Speaker 1:
[46:18] He gave him his Oscar. And he carried it in like a Jansport backpack.

Speaker 2:
[46:21] It's amazing.

Speaker 1:
[46:22] Bubble wrap. I thought that was like the funniest shit. It's funny to take something that so many people cherish, show dear and throw it in like a trapper keeper and give it to a fucking, look at that. Show the video of him pulling out of a backpack.

Speaker 2:
[46:34] It's like FIFA giving a FIFA Nobel Peace Prize to fucking Trump. Remember that? Yeah. Some make believe thing that he had never done before. Champagne has a vibe about him that I kind of believe.

Speaker 1:
[46:51] I believe everything he is. I think he is extremely him. I don't think- Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[46:57] I don't think that during Hurricane Katrina, when he was diving into New Orleans and trying to save people-

Speaker 1:
[47:04] He loves that shit.

Speaker 2:
[47:05] I think he was really trying to save lives.

Speaker 1:
[47:06] I think he loves that shit.

Speaker 2:
[47:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[47:08] You're saying it's not performative with him.

Speaker 2:
[47:09] I don't think it's performative with him. You know what I mean? I think he's just, there's something's wrong. That's not wrong, but there's like a, you know what I mean? An eccentric, you know, personality disorder. 100%. Yeah. Where it's like, he really believed he went out there, doesn't care about the leeches, and he's trying to save lives.

Speaker 1:
[47:28] He gave the fucking president of Ukraine his own Oscar.

Speaker 2:
[47:32] I mean, doesn't he have one already? Yes, two.

Speaker 1:
[47:34] Two?

Speaker 2:
[47:35] Yeah. So where are you going to put it?

Speaker 1:
[47:37] Next to the other one.

Speaker 2:
[47:38] Oh, I know, but it's like-

Speaker 1:
[47:40] I mean, you would never-

Speaker 2:
[47:42] No, dude. My Oscar? You know what my Oscar would be?

Speaker 1:
[47:45] Well, your Oscar's more like a Juan.

Speaker 2:
[47:47] Ask me where my Oscar is.

Speaker 1:
[47:48] That is a good joke.

Speaker 2:
[47:49] Yeah. Go ahead.

Speaker 1:
[47:50] I said, your Oscar's more like a Juan. You'll never get an Oscar. You'll get a Julio before you get an Oscar.

Speaker 2:
[47:56] Oh, that's mean.

Speaker 6:
[47:57] It's not true, though.

Speaker 2:
[47:59] It's mean.

Speaker 1:
[48:00] You're never going to win a fucking Oscar. You out of your mind?

Speaker 2:
[48:03] I was just trying to make a hypothetical game about like-

Speaker 1:
[48:06] No, and I was just having fun. I'm just digging you in.

Speaker 4:
[48:08] Yeah, but you know-

Speaker 1:
[48:09] Give me your Oscar speech if you did win. We shouldn't do Oscar jokes. It was so fucking long ago. The Oscars.

Speaker 6:
[48:16] But yours would be at the front door.

Speaker 1:
[48:18] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[48:18] With lights, music every time.

Speaker 1:
[48:20] Right as you open the door, it's like, ah! And Bobby's like.

Speaker 2:
[48:31] I would have a gigantic Oscar holding the Oscar.

Speaker 1:
[48:34] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[48:34] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:35] That's actually awesome.

Speaker 2:
[48:36] Yeah. Yeah. Then I would end lights and yeah. But don't forget the gigantic Oscar. Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[48:42] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:43] You ever walk into somebody's house? You ever walk into somebody's house and they've got like Emmys, plural, you know, and you're like, how did you get a fucking Emmy?

Speaker 2:
[48:52] I know. Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[48:52] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:53] Like you'll go to somebody's house who's like someone, you know, in the business and you're like, you got a fucking Emmy?

Speaker 6:
[48:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:57] And they're like, yeah, we got three of them. We did this outstanding, non-scripted, blah, blah, blah thing, daytime Emmys.

Speaker 6:
[49:03] And you're like, they, they give too many though.

Speaker 1:
[49:06] I know.

Speaker 2:
[49:06] But, but I saw, I went to a guy's house and like, it was like on the bottom, like there was a bunch of books. It was just the corner of a room. I go, what's that? He goes, that's an Emmy.

Speaker 1:
[49:17] That's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[49:17] And I go, I would have an Emmy on top of an Emmy.

Speaker 1:
[49:22] Inside of another Emmy.

Speaker 2:
[49:23] Inside of another Emmy. You know what would be like? One of those Russian dolls where you-

Speaker 1:
[49:28] Matryoshka dolls.

Speaker 2:
[49:29] Yeah, Matryoshka dolls, you know what I mean? There'd be so many Emmys within Emmys. You know what I mean? But he just put it right in the corner of this, you know what I mean? Discreet, just doesn't care about it, rusting. I think that's cool. I think that's what I would do. How funny if I did get nominated for something?

Speaker 1:
[49:45] I would, well, I'd quit the show. It would validate all my hate for the business.

Speaker 2:
[49:52] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[49:54] Really?

Speaker 1:
[49:55] Well, it's all bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[49:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be definitely bullshit.

Speaker 6:
[49:57] Promoted like this, by friends, from Academy Award nominated.

Speaker 2:
[50:00] Well, I'll tell you why I won't. Even if I do a good job at a movie, the reason why I won't is because I can't do the thing that you need to do.

Speaker 1:
[50:07] Which is?

Speaker 2:
[50:08] Which is go and shake hands and you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[50:11] You're so good at that.

Speaker 2:
[50:12] No, I'm not.

Speaker 1:
[50:13] You are very-

Speaker 2:
[50:14] I don't show up to those things.

Speaker 1:
[50:15] But for this you would.

Speaker 2:
[50:17] Oh, you think you gotta go to Paris and eat so-and-so and you gotta do this and that. You think I would do all those things.

Speaker 1:
[50:23] Yeah, have you ever seen the movie Home For Purim?

Speaker 2:
[50:25] No.

Speaker 1:
[50:26] It's one of the best. That's like one of the, it's called, that's not A Mighty Wind, is it? No, for your consideration, sorry. For your consideration.

Speaker 2:
[50:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[50:35] This shitty little movie called Home For Purim, it's a movie inside of a movie and the cast thinks it's a shitter and then it gets Oscar buzzed that they might actually win. So then they all change. They dynamically all change. They become like so full of themselves and they all become the fakest version of who they used to be.

Speaker 2:
[50:51] Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1:
[50:52] Oh, it's brilliant.

Speaker 4:
[50:53] Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:
[50:54] That's a, yeah. What's his name movie? What's wrong?

Speaker 4:
[50:58] Christopher Guest.

Speaker 1:
[50:58] Christopher Guest movie.

Speaker 2:
[50:59] It really is?

Speaker 1:
[51:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[51:00] Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:
[51:01] Look at the cast. By the way, did we kill yet another celebrity?

Speaker 4:
[51:05] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[51:06] We did.

Speaker 4:
[51:06] Chuck Norris.

Speaker 1:
[51:08] Dude, we got to stop talking about famous people. We killed Chuck Norris.

Speaker 2:
[51:12] No, we didn't kill Chuck Norris.

Speaker 1:
[51:13] Yes, we did. Hey.

Speaker 2:
[51:14] He was 70, 81 years old.

Speaker 1:
[51:17] Oh, he was only 68 or 69.

Speaker 2:
[51:19] 86.

Speaker 1:
[51:19] 86. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[51:22] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that if they're above 75, we didn't kill them.

Speaker 1:
[51:28] How about 80? If they're above 80.

Speaker 2:
[51:30] Above 80, I think he was on his way.

Speaker 1:
[51:32] 86 is a good run. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[51:34] That's a really good run. But you know, Hawaii is where I want to die.

Speaker 1:
[51:39] Yeah. You've talked about that. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[51:40] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[51:40] Why?

Speaker 2:
[51:41] Because I saw Ram Dass die there, you know what I mean? And when it was the last video, it was weird. Because this is when I first got, what do you call that? The oculus.

Speaker 1:
[51:53] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[51:53] Right. And then there was like a thing where you could press and see Ram Dass.

Speaker 4:
[51:58] Oh, wow.

Speaker 2:
[51:58] Right.

Speaker 4:
[51:59] Right.

Speaker 2:
[51:59] So then, you know what I mean? You go, boop, Ram Dass, right? And he's like a thousand, he looks like a thousand years old.

Speaker 4:
[52:05] He is.

Speaker 2:
[52:06] And he's in Hawaii.

Speaker 4:
[52:07] And he's going, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[52:09] Yeah, it's just a process. You know what he's talking, you know what I mean? It's a witness to realism, whatever he's talking about, right? And then you could zoom around his body, see all his liver spots and stuff. But then like, yeah, but then I was like, it was definitely in Hawaii, right? And I'm like, oh, this is where you pass.

Speaker 1:
[52:30] You want to die in Hawaii.

Speaker 2:
[52:30] I think so. In a beautiful day in Hawaii with the palm trees, beautiful day and just sitting there, you know what I mean? Maybe in an oculus, people can see me die in an oculus or something, you know what I mean? But like 3D, I want people to see me die in 3D.

Speaker 1:
[52:45] Sign up for Bad Friends Patreon. We will be doing a viewing party of Bobby's death and you can live- Would you do a vlog? As I die?

Speaker 2:
[52:53] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[52:54] Why?

Speaker 2:
[52:54] Until you can't talk. Oh my God.

Speaker 1:
[52:57] As I lay dying?

Speaker 2:
[52:58] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[52:58] That's so dark.

Speaker 2:
[52:59] Yeah, but I would pod until I can't talk.

Speaker 1:
[53:03] You'd be doing a death pod?

Speaker 2:
[53:05] Yeah, do a death pod.

Speaker 1:
[53:05] There is a guy that is the guy that got diagnosed with like stage four something cancer and he's doing like a pod until he dies.

Speaker 2:
[53:11] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[53:11] There's like a guy that was, there's an artist that was doing this.

Speaker 2:
[53:14] Would you do it?

Speaker 1:
[53:15] No, cause it would be, let me tell you something. If I do it-

Speaker 2:
[53:17] I would do it with you.

Speaker 1:
[53:18] But if I have terminal cancer, I'm telling you guys now in this room, none of you will ever know.

Speaker 2:
[53:23] Oh, you wouldn't know either if I had it.

Speaker 1:
[53:25] Yeah, I wouldn't tell anybody. I would do what What's His Name did.

Speaker 5:
[53:27] Norm.

Speaker 1:
[53:28] Huh?

Speaker 5:
[53:28] Norm.

Speaker 1:
[53:29] Norm, but I was thinking about what's that beautiful actor-

Speaker 5:
[53:32] Oh, Chadwick Boseman.

Speaker 1:
[53:32] Chadwick Boseman. Didn't tell a soul.

Speaker 4:
[53:34] Yeah. Why do you, why?

Speaker 1:
[53:37] Because you don't want people to treat you differently as you die.

Speaker 4:
[53:39] He don't want the pity.

Speaker 1:
[53:40] You just don't want someone to treat you differently because when you're dying, people are going to talk to you like a baby because they know you're safe.

Speaker 2:
[53:46] You're okay.

Speaker 1:
[53:47] What, how was today?

Speaker 2:
[53:48] I was good.

Speaker 1:
[53:49] Yeah, you don't want to, just treat me like you treat me and then I'll die.

Speaker 2:
[53:52] Yeah. Please tell me though.

Speaker 1:
[53:54] I would.

Speaker 2:
[53:55] No, please, you have to tell me.

Speaker 1:
[53:57] Do you want me to tell you now? I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[54:01] Like what stage, like if it's stage two, would you tell me?

Speaker 1:
[54:05] How funny? I'm literally like withering away and Bob's like, are you okay?

Speaker 4:
[54:08] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:08] I'm on the pod. I'm just like, I'm totally fine.

Speaker 4:
[54:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:11] I'm dying live on the pod.

Speaker 4:
[54:12] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:13] No, I wouldn't tell anybody. I really actually.

Speaker 4:
[54:15] Even me.

Speaker 1:
[54:16] I think just me and the old lady would know and I wouldn't tell anybody else.

Speaker 2:
[54:20] And then one day I show up and you're not here.

Speaker 1:
[54:22] It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Speaker 2:
[54:23] No, it's not.

Speaker 3:
[54:25] It's like Good Will Hunting.

Speaker 2:
[54:27] Yeah. Then I got to call Theo. You want to start one?

Speaker 4:
[54:32] Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1:
[54:33] I would, but I'm busy.

Speaker 2:
[54:35] What would I do? It's over.

Speaker 1:
[54:38] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[54:38] It would be over.

Speaker 1:
[54:39] Well, I won't die.

Speaker 2:
[54:40] Don't die with that.

Speaker 1:
[54:41] All right.

Speaker 2:
[54:42] All right, dude. Knock on wood me either, dude, for at least another five.

Speaker 5:
[54:46] Five?

Speaker 2:
[54:47] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[54:47] Give me more than five.

Speaker 5:
[54:48] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[54:48] No, we need five more years.

Speaker 1:
[54:49] The couple next to me said that today. They said I was eating at the Chinese joint before I left, and the guy was like, just kind of start drummed up conversation. Nice guy, had the casino. I said, you guys out here in Vegas doing something special? He said, it's our anniversary. It's awesome. I was like, yeah, my in-laws are about to do their 50th. And she goes, God, we'll never make it there. And the husband was like, what do you mean? What? You're going to leave me? And she's like, no, I'll be dead. In 20 years, I'll be dead. It was their 30th. And I was like, no, you won't be dead. And she's like, I hope so. I was like, God damn, lady. It made me sad. I was like, no, don't say that.

Speaker 2:
[55:27] What's coming for all of us?

Speaker 1:
[55:29] I know, but I don't want to think about it.

Speaker 2:
[55:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:31] I think about it.

Speaker 2:
[55:32] That's why I quit smoking.

Speaker 1:
[55:33] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[55:33] To give myself a shot.

Speaker 1:
[55:35] Get death away from the door.

Speaker 4:
[55:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:38] Get him to go away. And now we're going to start exercising.

Speaker 4:
[55:41] I have been.

Speaker 1:
[55:43] Go on.

Speaker 4:
[55:45] Well, I mean, I have.

Speaker 1:
[55:50] Yeah, go on. I believe you.

Speaker 4:
[55:52] I've been. I've been trying to. You know, we do set ups.

Speaker 1:
[55:56] Can I tell you something?

Speaker 4:
[55:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:57] And this is not an insult.

Speaker 4:
[55:58] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[55:58] But your stomach kind of looks like after someone gets surgery and they have all that extra skin left over. Because you've lost so much weight.

Speaker 2:
[56:05] I know.

Speaker 1:
[56:05] You got to just get that ripped off.

Speaker 2:
[56:07] No, I don't think I have. I don't have that kind of extra skin.

Speaker 1:
[56:09] You do.

Speaker 2:
[56:10] I can sit up. You think so?

Speaker 1:
[56:12] Let's do a tummy tuck for you.

Speaker 2:
[56:14] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[56:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[56:15] I think I have extra skin here.

Speaker 1:
[56:16] Let me see it again.

Speaker 4:
[56:17] What?

Speaker 3:
[56:18] He's going to gain the weight back though.

Speaker 1:
[56:20] But don't stop sucking it. Just relax your body. Relax your back.

Speaker 4:
[56:24] I am.

Speaker 1:
[56:25] Relax.

Speaker 4:
[56:25] I am.

Speaker 2:
[56:28] This.

Speaker 1:
[56:29] It's crazy how skinny you are.

Speaker 4:
[56:30] But this.

Speaker 1:
[56:31] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[56:32] But I've been doing a lot of sit ups.

Speaker 1:
[56:35] Have you?

Speaker 4:
[56:36] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[56:36] I do like a thousand a day.

Speaker 4:
[56:38] Really?

Speaker 3:
[56:38] You do a thousand a day.

Speaker 2:
[56:40] I try to do a thousand a day.

Speaker 3:
[56:41] Try to.

Speaker 5:
[56:41] How many do you actually do?

Speaker 2:
[56:42] Six. No, I'm not kidding you. I do it like when I wake up, I do it like 150. And then during the day, I'll just keep doing it.

Speaker 6:
[56:56] Close to the kitchen for a sit back.

Speaker 2:
[56:59] Yes, I do.

Speaker 1:
[56:59] Show me a sit up right now. A hundred and fifty.

Speaker 2:
[57:03] No, not in a row. Not in a row.

Speaker 6:
[57:07] What do you mean?

Speaker 1:
[57:08] You said I do like a hundred fifty.

Speaker 2:
[57:10] So I'll do like 25.

Speaker 6:
[57:11] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[57:12] Stop.

Speaker 4:
[57:13] Right.

Speaker 2:
[57:14] Look out the window.

Speaker 4:
[57:15] Right.

Speaker 2:
[57:16] Watch Neighbors on HBO. Right. And then I'll go, you gotta do another 25. So I'll do another 25.

Speaker 4:
[57:21] Right.

Speaker 2:
[57:22] Stop. But I'll make sure I get to 150 in the morning.

Speaker 1:
[57:25] In the fucking morning.

Speaker 4:
[57:26] When I wake up.

Speaker 1:
[57:26] You do 150.

Speaker 6:
[57:27] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[57:28] I mean, I just started a week after I quit smoking.

Speaker 1:
[57:30] Can I see how you do your form?

Speaker 4:
[57:32] That's two days ago.

Speaker 1:
[57:33] Please.

Speaker 4:
[57:33] A week after you quit smoking.

Speaker 1:
[57:35] Please let me see your form.

Speaker 2:
[57:36] No.

Speaker 1:
[57:36] I just want to see how you do it.

Speaker 4:
[57:37] No.

Speaker 1:
[57:38] I can't do it.

Speaker 2:
[57:38] No, because you're gonna tease me and it's gonna be mockery. And I don't want to do that because it's gonna, what it's gonna do is gonna make me go, oh, don't do them anymore because it's mockery.

Speaker 1:
[57:48] Of course, I'm gonna tease you.

Speaker 2:
[57:50] That's why I'm not doing it right now, dude. Yeah, but I'm doing it. I'm gonna do it for a year and see what happens.

Speaker 1:
[57:57] I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 3:
[57:58] You'll be ripped if you really do it.

Speaker 2:
[57:59] Yeah, I really am doing it. I'm obsessed with it, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[58:03] Do you brace your legs with something to like, because you need weight on your feet.

Speaker 2:
[58:06] Yeah, so I hook my legs on my cabinet.

Speaker 1:
[58:08] You do?

Speaker 2:
[58:09] Yeah, yeah, like this. I get cramps on my feet.

Speaker 1:
[58:12] Where you drink water.

Speaker 2:
[58:13] Yeah, and I try to hold this too, so the pain is there. Wow. Yeah, and right now, it does hurt all of it.

Speaker 1:
[58:20] That's good.

Speaker 2:
[58:20] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[58:21] Good pain.

Speaker 2:
[58:21] It's all this pain down here, right?

Speaker 5:
[58:23] Do you put a mat down or are you doing it on the floor?

Speaker 2:
[58:24] I just do hard ground. You know what I call it? I'm doing old boy.

Speaker 1:
[58:28] Doing old boy.

Speaker 2:
[58:29] When you're stuck in that room for 15 years, right? So I'm only gonna do pushups. I'm only gonna do pushups and sit ups and just see what that does.

Speaker 1:
[58:37] Like jail.

Speaker 2:
[58:38] Yeah, like prison.

Speaker 1:
[58:39] Well, street workouts. You seen those guys that only work out, like they just do pull ups on streetlights. Have you seen how jacked these guys are? They go to a jungle gym. These guys are streetworks out that that that those two black guys. I've seen these guys. They don't do anything but pushups, sit ups, pull ups, squats. Like this is all from practical shit outside, practical shit outside. No weights. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[59:03] Also, it's like I went to that fucking place. What's that gym next to my house? No, Planet Fitness. So I walked in there and I go, I want to join.

Speaker 4:
[59:13] No, you didn't.

Speaker 2:
[59:14] I swear to God on my mother's life.

Speaker 4:
[59:16] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[59:16] And I went in there and I go, I want to join. They go, we want to, we need to link, get your bank account. We don't do credit card membership.

Speaker 4:
[59:26] And I'm like, what?

Speaker 2:
[59:29] I don't know how to do that. And I just left.

Speaker 4:
[59:33] I go, fuck you.

Speaker 2:
[59:34] I'm leaving, right? I really was going to join Planet Fitness.

Speaker 1:
[59:38] You went to Planet Fitness would be so funny.

Speaker 2:
[59:40] It was right by my house, right by my house.

Speaker 1:
[59:42] You're never going to get anything done. We're going to bother you all day.

Speaker 2:
[59:44] No, no, no, no, no, I do it.

Speaker 4:
[59:46] I put a mask on everything.

Speaker 1:
[59:48] You do?

Speaker 4:
[59:49] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[59:49] And they can't tell it to you? First of all, you have to cover your eyes if you're going to cover anything, not your fucking mouth.

Speaker 4:
[59:54] A Batman mask.

Speaker 2:
[59:57] I'd like to work out.

Speaker 1:
[59:59] I came here to work out. Bane better not be in the cold plunge.

Speaker 2:
[60:04] Yeah. So I went there and they said, Welcome to the steam room, Batman. So I tried, so I- Here to switch. Yeah. So then in my mind, I'm like, you know, and I don't want to go to Equinox, because that's where all the supermodels and all the hot people go.

Speaker 1:
[60:17] The hottest people. It's disgusting.

Speaker 2:
[60:19] That's why I'm like, I'm just going to go old boy style.

Speaker 1:
[60:22] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[60:23] And to just sit up some pushups. Now you can't tell yet, but maybe if I do it for like a year-

Speaker 1:
[60:28] You're going to get jacked.

Speaker 2:
[60:29] Maybe.

Speaker 1:
[60:29] But do you remember what you said to me in the car in Australia?

Speaker 2:
[60:32] What? You'll see.

Speaker 1:
[60:33] You'll see.

Speaker 2:
[60:34] You're going to see, no.

Speaker 1:
[60:34] It's already been two years.

Speaker 2:
[60:37] Listen, I didn't do anything until this week and a half, and I've been starting every day doing it because I need a new obsession.

Speaker 1:
[60:48] You're bored too.

Speaker 2:
[60:48] Because I used to smoke, right? So it's like instead of that, I have so much anxiety, so it's like I have to do it. Because if I don't, then I get entrenched in Iran.

Speaker 1:
[60:59] In Iran?

Speaker 2:
[61:00] Iran. Iran. Oh.

Speaker 1:
[61:02] I didn't know what you were talking about. I was like, what's? Put me on to Iran. No, no, no.

Speaker 2:
[61:07] Like the war, like I get obsessed with the war and stuff and what's going on and stuff like that. You know what I mean? And then I get lost in it. It causes me more anxiety. So it's like now I'm, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4:
[61:17] Old boying it.

Speaker 3:
[61:18] You're old boy.

Speaker 4:
[61:19] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:19] Like, or I call it the Travis Pickle.

Speaker 4:
[61:22] You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:
[61:23] That more lines up.

Speaker 2:
[61:24] Yeah. Society is dirt and the trash and the streets.

Speaker 4:
[61:28] You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:
[61:28] It's insult talk.

Speaker 4:
[61:30] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:30] It's like, yeah. I talk to myself.

Speaker 4:
[61:32] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[61:33] The garbage, the human garbage.

Speaker 5:
[61:36] The shit and the cunts and the dogs.

Speaker 2:
[61:38] Dogs. You know what I mean? You know who's up there in that room? That's my wife. That's my wife. You know who's up in that room?

Speaker 4:
[61:45] Not my apartment. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:47] That's not my apartment. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5:
[61:48] It's a...

Speaker 2:
[61:51] He's a shooter.

Speaker 5:
[61:52] What? You're a shooter.

Speaker 4:
[61:53] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[61:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:55] I'm about to...

Speaker 1:
[61:56] It's a little dangerous.

Speaker 2:
[61:56] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[61:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[61:57] I just got a rifle. Laser gun. I've traveled a bit like that.

Speaker 1:
[62:01] Please don't.

Speaker 4:
[62:02] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:02] Yeah. No.

Speaker 4:
[62:03] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:03] I'm like... I have like notes from the underground thoughts.

Speaker 4:
[62:07] What does that mean?

Speaker 2:
[62:09] It's a Dostoevsky book, and it's about a guy that's like living in a basement and judging society through like that little opening. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? And I do that.

Speaker 1:
[62:21] So scary.

Speaker 2:
[62:22] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:22] That's such a scary thing to think about.

Speaker 2:
[62:24] No, I do it.

Speaker 1:
[62:25] Judging from a window sill in a basement.

Speaker 4:
[62:28] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:29] Just piss jars everywhere.

Speaker 4:
[62:30] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:31] Fap all over the place. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[62:32] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:33] I'm JD Salinger, dude.

Speaker 1:
[62:36] One would think.

Speaker 4:
[62:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[62:38] That you were very Salingerian.

Speaker 4:
[62:40] Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:40] Salingerian, dude.

Speaker 1:
[62:41] If I was an author, which author would I be?

Speaker 3:
[62:48] Never drinks water.

Speaker 1:
[62:50] He got calf cramps doing sit-ups, so how? He's got to fix all that.

Speaker 4:
[62:55] Can I have another water, please?

Speaker 1:
[62:57] Dude, you're parched, huh?

Speaker 2:
[63:00] Yeah. I'm just so tired and drained from it. I mean, this week was crazy.

Speaker 1:
[63:07] Bad crazy?

Speaker 2:
[63:08] We did SAC, and then I flew straight to Philly, you know what I mean? Three days there, one day in LA, then went to San Jose. Today, I flew back. You know what I mean? I didn't sleep at all.

Speaker 1:
[63:21] It's like you're on the pitch.

Speaker 2:
[63:21] Slept all day.

Speaker 1:
[63:25] What the fuck is going on? You're like a fucking camel. No, I love you. You need it, huh?

Speaker 4:
[63:32] Yeah, so I'm old boying it.

Speaker 1:
[63:34] You gotta old boy it.

Speaker 4:
[63:35] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[63:36] I think you're, I believe in you. I believe in you.

Speaker 2:
[63:38] I mean, I'm never gonna destroy you. I'll never get physically strong enough. You're just a bigger weight class.

Speaker 1:
[63:44] Yeah, how's dating going?

Speaker 2:
[63:47] I am seeing somebody, and what I've been doing is just looking at them and go, are we done? And then she goes, are you sure? I go, I mean, you did it, right? She goes, yeah, I got there. And then I go, I think I'm done.

Speaker 1:
[64:02] So you're just bailing?

Speaker 2:
[64:04] What do you mean?

Speaker 1:
[64:05] You're just bailing out? You're not gonna try to finish the job?

Speaker 2:
[64:08] Well, I'll come, like some excuse, like we did the job, you know what I mean? We got rid of the, you know what I mean? Most of their military.

Speaker 4:
[64:15] We did the job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[64:21] So, you know, I need, you know, it's called, you know what I mean, an exit strategy. Yeah, so I use an exit strategy, you know what I mean, when we're done.

Speaker 1:
[64:29] What is it?

Speaker 2:
[64:29] It's just like, at one time, what happened was, you know what I mean, she was working so hard and I just grabbed her arms and I go, No, you shook it off? Yeah, and I shook it off and she goes, Are you sure? I got, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[64:45] Like a pitcher to a catcher just shaking off the signs. I don't want that.

Speaker 2:
[64:51] But is it worth it? I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[64:53] Well, if you're happier.

Speaker 2:
[64:55] Yeah, I'm happier. But here's what's the great thing about it though, is that, am I boring everybody?

Speaker 1:
[65:03] No, it's interesting.

Speaker 2:
[65:04] Are you sure?

Speaker 1:
[65:05] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:05] I feel like being boring today.

Speaker 1:
[65:07] We're listening.

Speaker 2:
[65:08] Is that what it is?

Speaker 1:
[65:08] Yeah, people are quiet when you're talking because they're listening.

Speaker 2:
[65:11] But what it is, is what's helped it...

Speaker 1:
[65:15] I'm kidding.

Speaker 2:
[65:16] Are you being real?

Speaker 1:
[65:17] It was a bit. It was a bit because you just asked. But go ahead.

Speaker 2:
[65:20] The cookies are good.

Speaker 1:
[65:21] Come on, I'm serious.

Speaker 2:
[65:22] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[65:23] It was a bit. You just said something.

Speaker 2:
[65:25] I just didn't have the motivation or, you know what I mean? It's really weird.

Speaker 4:
[65:28] That's healthy.

Speaker 1:
[65:29] Couldn't do it.

Speaker 2:
[65:29] She was like hugging. I was hugging her, and I got kind of half hard.

Speaker 4:
[65:34] You know how you get half?

Speaker 2:
[65:36] I know that. You know that feeling, right?

Speaker 4:
[65:38] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:38] It's like midway point. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[65:40] No turning back.

Speaker 4:
[65:41] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:42] It's like neutral, like India. Yeah, too much roar, right?

Speaker 4:
[65:49] Too much roar.

Speaker 2:
[65:50] Too much roar. But using reference.

Speaker 1:
[65:51] Too much.

Speaker 4:
[65:52] Way too much.

Speaker 2:
[65:53] Yeah. Switzerland.

Speaker 4:
[65:55] What?

Speaker 2:
[65:55] Switzerland, yeah. I'm very neutral, you know what I mean? But it's like, another thing that I realize is that a new game came out that I've been anticipating for six months, and I haven't played one single bit of it. What is the game? It's called Crimson Desert.

Speaker 4:
[66:08] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[66:08] The Lexapro? Yeah, I think it's the Lexapro because it's downloaded, you know what I mean? I turned it on and I saw the character walk toward, I got him to walk toward like a cabin.

Speaker 6:
[66:20] You got midpoint.

Speaker 4:
[66:22] Yeah, I got midpoint.

Speaker 2:
[66:23] I couldn't even reach the cabin.

Speaker 1:
[66:24] You got neutral.

Speaker 4:
[66:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[66:26] You got sweet.

Speaker 2:
[66:26] And my character stopped, and I was like, I don't know, I just turned it off.

Speaker 1:
[66:31] What?

Speaker 2:
[66:32] Yeah, and then I just had 25 sit ups.

Speaker 1:
[66:33] We gotta get, that's good.

Speaker 2:
[66:36] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[66:36] Use some more drive for life.

Speaker 2:
[66:38] No, it's like, I don't know, it's weird. It's like, because I play, I use video games to like not think about my life and not think about my anxiety and stuff, but I don't have as much, right? So it's like, I have no interest in- Escapism. Escapism, you know what I mean? In that way.

Speaker 1:
[66:56] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[66:56] Yeah, so, but the only downside is, you know what I mean, the climaxing and the orgasm.

Speaker 1:
[67:02] The upcoming is a big, that's a bummer.

Speaker 2:
[67:04] It's a big one, yeah.

Speaker 3:
[67:05] You need to talk to your therapist. This isn't therapy, dude.

Speaker 1:
[67:07] Is there a spider on your shirt? It's a hole on the sleeve.

Speaker 2:
[67:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[67:13] Well, you're-

Speaker 2:
[67:14] It wouldn't scare me.

Speaker 1:
[67:15] A spider? I just look like one.

Speaker 2:
[67:19] I know, but it's like, I felt like you were trying to scare me.

Speaker 1:
[67:22] No.

Speaker 2:
[67:23] Yeah, yeah. I think that a scorpion, maybe.

Speaker 1:
[67:25] Is that a scorpion on your shirt?

Speaker 2:
[67:27] I'd be like, whoa, oh. You know what I mean? But the spider was like, I don't know. Unless it was like, what's it called, the brown one?

Speaker 1:
[67:35] Brown recluse.

Speaker 2:
[67:35] The brown recluse. If it was a brown recluse, I would be scared a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[67:38] They're in California.

Speaker 2:
[67:39] Yeah, yeah. A black widow, probably. But a standard spider, I don't think I'm scared of.

Speaker 1:
[67:44] You think that's disrespectful to them that they're called standard spiders? You know, like when they're crawling up their wall and they're trying to be tough, and you go, oh, look at the little standard spider.

Speaker 6:
[67:53] What about brown recluse? That's so offensive.

Speaker 1:
[67:56] A brown recluse?

Speaker 2:
[67:57] They're brown.

Speaker 4:
[67:58] Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[68:00] How did they get into this country, is my real question.

Speaker 2:
[68:02] Yeah, exactly. Let's see your papers.

Speaker 1:
[68:07] By the way, brown recluse, black widow. Notice the theme?

Speaker 2:
[68:10] Oh, right.

Speaker 4:
[68:11] There's no white one that's...

Speaker 2:
[68:13] In fact, there's no white spiders.

Speaker 1:
[68:15] Yeah, there is.

Speaker 2:
[68:16] It's genocide.

Speaker 1:
[68:17] Right there.

Speaker 2:
[68:17] Oh, there's one.

Speaker 1:
[68:18] Yeah, there's one.

Speaker 2:
[68:19] Would you be scared with that one?

Speaker 1:
[68:21] No, it looks nice and safe.

Speaker 2:
[68:23] Yeah, it's like, hello, neighbor.

Speaker 1:
[68:26] White spiders.

Speaker 2:
[68:27] Okie dokie.

Speaker 1:
[68:28] White spiders asked to come in your house.

Speaker 2:
[68:30] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:30] Hey, may I come in?

Speaker 2:
[68:31] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[68:32] Come on in.

Speaker 2:
[68:33] Give us some spare butter.

Speaker 1:
[68:35] White spiders in Arizona. That's really, those are cool looking.

Speaker 2:
[68:39] Yeah, but there's some black in it, Obama style. Can I have another water, please?

Speaker 1:
[68:44] Unbelievable. I love this. Hydration. Do you know why all the Ivy girls are hot? I know it. I figured it out. Why are they all hot?

Speaker 2:
[68:53] You figure it out.

Speaker 1:
[68:54] Because I got them a bunch of times when I'm on the road and this helped me figure it out. Because they're bullshit. Because they don't work and they send a hot girl to distract you from the fact that it doesn't fucking actually do shit. You piss it out five seconds later. It didn't do anything. It's placebo. And here's how I know that's true. Half of these women that are administering these things, I don't even believe they're nurses. These are just fucking chicks who it's like an agency hired them. I don't think that any of it's real.

Speaker 3:
[69:24] That's okay if they're hot, though.

Speaker 1:
[69:26] I don't want someone stabbing me in the fucking arm with a needle in a bag.

Speaker 2:
[69:28] You'll never get an IV again.

Speaker 1:
[69:30] I think they're bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[69:31] I get them out every week.

Speaker 1:
[69:32] And is it working?

Speaker 2:
[69:33] It is working.

Speaker 1:
[69:34] On what?

Speaker 2:
[69:35] My sit ups.

Speaker 3:
[69:37] Touche. Touche.

Speaker 2:
[69:39] All right. My sit ups and my mind.

Speaker 1:
[69:42] They're overpriced and they're fake. I know that they're fake. There's vitamins in those bags, but you're pissing them out.

Speaker 2:
[69:47] That's your pee, right? A different color.

Speaker 1:
[69:49] You're answering my, you're literally validating what I'm saying. You piss it right out.

Speaker 2:
[69:53] Yeah, but it's the vitamins and all the good stuff that's going through your body.

Speaker 1:
[69:57] Almost nothing gets absorbed. You can talk to any doctor. They'll tell you.

Speaker 2:
[70:01] It goes through your veins, guy.

Speaker 1:
[70:02] It doesn't absorb. You piss it right out.

Speaker 2:
[70:04] Five veins absorb.

Speaker 1:
[70:06] Let me see your veins. Those did absorb.

Speaker 2:
[70:08] Yeah, yeah. They're absorbing your veins. You gotta get your veins checked out.

Speaker 1:
[70:11] Every doctor I know says it's a fucking scam. It's bullshit. And they're overpriced. And they go, you'll retain such a small percentage of those vitamins. You might as well just take a handful of fucking vitamins at home. Easier than getting a drip for 40 minutes because you want a hot chick in your living room.

Speaker 2:
[70:26] Oh, so what?

Speaker 1:
[70:27] That's what it is.

Speaker 2:
[70:28] It's cool.

Speaker 1:
[70:30] See? No, it's a scam.

Speaker 2:
[70:32] It's not scam.

Speaker 1:
[70:32] It's a fucking scam.

Speaker 2:
[70:33] No, because then they add extra. Do you want extra?

Speaker 1:
[70:36] Oh, that doesn't sound like a scam at all.

Speaker 2:
[70:38] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[70:40] Do you want extra something?

Speaker 2:
[70:41] It's like extra hot sauce at fucking Taco Bell.

Speaker 1:
[70:43] Yeah, put it in the bag.

Speaker 2:
[70:45] Which one? Diablo?

Speaker 1:
[70:46] Fire, fire, fire.

Speaker 2:
[70:47] Diablo.

Speaker 1:
[70:49] Here's why I don't like Diablo. Changes the flavor profile of Taco Bell. Fire is just hot enough and I buy it at the store. It's on sale right now at Bonds. It's in my fridge. I have four bottles.

Speaker 2:
[71:00] Oh, I got six bottles of Aardvark.

Speaker 1:
[71:02] I have nine bottles of shoe leather Aardvark. You know Aardvark? Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[71:09] Yeah, great hot sauce.

Speaker 1:
[71:10] Nine bottles of it?

Speaker 2:
[71:11] Yeah, I ordered it on shop on my phone.

Speaker 1:
[71:14] On shop?

Speaker 2:
[71:15] It's called shop on my phone.

Speaker 1:
[71:17] Is it like Amazon shop?

Speaker 4:
[71:18] I don't know what it is, but yeah.

Speaker 2:
[71:20] The reason why I don't use Amazon anymore because all my deliveries go to this girl I used to hit on in Phoenix, because she was sick one time.

Speaker 3:
[71:27] And you forget to do the address.

Speaker 2:
[71:28] Yeah, I forget to do the address. So she texted me last week, I got 12 bottles of Aardvark. And I go, oh, fuck, and I finally figured out how to change the address, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[71:40] Enjoy the Aardvark, though. I mean, what a gift.

Speaker 2:
[71:42] Aardvark's great.

Speaker 1:
[71:43] She goes, I got 12 bottles. You're like, thinking of you.

Speaker 2:
[71:45] Yeah, and then here's what I also have been doing lately. And I don't know if you know this, this is a good thing, but you ever go to the farmer's market?

Speaker 1:
[71:55] Every day. No. You want to fucking walk around the fucking farmer's market and see like, like four, by the way, it's three of the bins are the same thing. It's like, oh, is this lettuce again from this guy, a different guy? It's a honey guy, four lettuce stands, two egg ladies.

Speaker 2:
[72:14] Oh my God, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1:
[72:16] And how many candles?

Speaker 2:
[72:17] There's a sticker shop.

Speaker 1:
[72:19] Oh, oh.

Speaker 2:
[72:19] There's a nut shop. Oh. All right. I'm not going there for lettuce, guy.

Speaker 1:
[72:24] It's a scam.

Speaker 2:
[72:24] It's not a scam.

Speaker 1:
[72:26] Farmer's markets are the IV of groceries.

Speaker 2:
[72:28] No, it's not.

Speaker 1:
[72:29] They're bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[72:29] Let me tell you something about fucking the farmer's market. Which farmer's market are you talking about on 3rd Street?

Speaker 1:
[72:35] 3rd Street?

Speaker 2:
[72:35] Yeah, the...

Speaker 6:
[72:36] The farmer's market.

Speaker 2:
[72:38] That farmer's market.

Speaker 6:
[72:39] Oh, the Grove and farmer's market.

Speaker 2:
[72:40] Why the Grove?

Speaker 1:
[72:41] Brother, we're talking about farmer's markets.

Speaker 2:
[72:43] No, I'm talking about the 3rd Street farmer's market.

Speaker 1:
[72:45] All of us thought the other thing.

Speaker 2:
[72:47] Oh, you did?

Speaker 3:
[72:47] Yes. I got you.

Speaker 2:
[72:48] I got you. You got me? On 3rd Street. What about you, Macon?

Speaker 5:
[72:52] Oh, I thought you meant a real farmer's market.

Speaker 1:
[72:53] A farmer's market.

Speaker 2:
[72:54] Oh, so the farmer's market on 3rd Street of a real farmer's market. Oh, what is it called?

Speaker 1:
[72:59] The mall. It's the Grove.

Speaker 3:
[73:01] It's called the Grove. No, it's called the farmer's market.

Speaker 1:
[73:03] Yes, that's the name of it. That's what it's called.

Speaker 3:
[73:05] No one calls it that.

Speaker 1:
[73:07] Nobody called that.

Speaker 2:
[73:07] Oh, so in big letters, it says the farmer's market, but no one calls it that?

Speaker 3:
[73:13] No.

Speaker 1:
[73:13] First of all, nobody goes there.

Speaker 2:
[73:15] Yeah, yeah. Hey, Pepsi, no one calls that. It's brown juice.

Speaker 4:
[73:20] What are you talking about?

Speaker 1:
[73:22] It is brown juice.

Speaker 5:
[73:25] They call it a farmer's market, but it's not.

Speaker 2:
[73:27] Look, it's on a fucking temple.

Speaker 1:
[73:29] I know, but a farmer's market, a farmer's market that we're referring to is a thing that's come and go. This is a permanent, it's permanent.

Speaker 2:
[73:36] All right, so next time we'll say permanent farmer's market.

Speaker 1:
[73:39] Well, say, you know the farmer's market at the Grove? That's what everybody says.

Speaker 2:
[73:42] I'll say that from now.

Speaker 1:
[73:43] Am I right? Am I fucking right? Everyone goes, oh, the farmer's market at the Grove. That's a fucking farmer's market. There's nine people making candles, six people selling lettuce and one bitch selling eggs. It's the fucking worst. They're dog shit. Look at that. Oranges, don't need them. Don't need them. But, listen, the farmer's market at the Grove is phenomenal.

Speaker 2:
[74:09] It's a sticker shop.

Speaker 1:
[74:11] No, it's phenomenal. But it's a fucking mall. It's a mall with permanent restaurant.

Speaker 2:
[74:17] So there's a hot sauce store there.

Speaker 1:
[74:20] A hot sauce bar, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[74:21] Is that a bar?

Speaker 1:
[74:24] That's just a name, a hot sauce bar.

Speaker 2:
[74:25] Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I've been combative.

Speaker 1:
[74:28] I like it.

Speaker 4:
[74:29] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[74:30] So there's a hot sauce place there, and then there's the, I always buy, I don't know why, and I have a fucking cabinet filled. I go, where's the hottest one?

Speaker 1:
[74:39] You want to just have it.

Speaker 4:
[74:40] And I have it.

Speaker 2:
[74:41] Like, I have the source.

Speaker 1:
[74:42] But you're not gonna put it on anything, all right?

Speaker 2:
[74:44] No.

Speaker 1:
[74:44] Just, do you dip the finger?

Speaker 2:
[74:45] I have the one that's shaped like a devil. I have devil's blood. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4:
[74:49] You have devil's blood?

Speaker 2:
[74:51] You know what I mean? I have, you know what I mean? The hottest ones that you could buy, the most expensive ones. Very cool. Yeah, give me a devil's blood. Yeah, that one in the top. Yeah, that's, yeah. Satan's blood. Satan's blood, yeah, yeah. I have a couple of bottles of those.

Speaker 1:
[75:05] Hey, what's up? It's Mikey. Today we're doing Satan's Blood. So stupid.

Speaker 2:
[75:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just, you know.

Speaker 1:
[75:13] But you collect them?

Speaker 2:
[75:14] I just collect them. I don't use them. I have the Source too. The Source is, look at the Source's bottle. Have we talked about the Source?

Speaker 1:
[75:19] No.

Speaker 2:
[75:20] The Source hot sauce.

Speaker 1:
[75:23] The Source hot sauce.

Speaker 2:
[75:25] Look at the way it comes out. Like a mind temple.

Speaker 1:
[75:28] It's like a book.

Speaker 2:
[75:30] It's ancient. No, it comes in that. And then, yeah, it's like that. It is so hot.

Speaker 1:
[75:35] It's 7.1 million Scoville units. Rory Scoville rated this. 7.1 million Scovilles. What is the average Scoville units of like a bottle of Cholula? Give me that.

Speaker 3:
[75:50] Here's the kid again.

Speaker 1:
[75:51] Yeah. Hey, guys, I'm trying the Source again. It's my key. Give me the Scoville units of a bottle of Cholula. And let's guess, because it's 7.1 million for the Source. I'm guessing regular Cholula hot sauce is like. 500. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say a thousand Scoville. A thousand and two thousand. I was right on the money, baby.

Speaker 2:
[76:10] Of what?

Speaker 1:
[76:11] Scoville units, the heat units. That's how they measure heat.

Speaker 2:
[76:14] And that's of what hot sauce?

Speaker 1:
[76:15] OK, so just for like Cholula, regular table, tabletop Cholula, a thousand, a thousand and two thousand. The one you have is 7.1 million.

Speaker 4:
[76:24] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[76:24] That's absurdist.

Speaker 4:
[76:26] I know.

Speaker 1:
[76:26] You couldn't.

Speaker 2:
[76:27] You got to try it.

Speaker 1:
[76:28] No, it's what do you it's going to fry your tongue.

Speaker 2:
[76:30] So one time me and Jordan Peele went to that hot sauce place and we got the sores and we took a fucking toothpick and we dipped a toothpick and we stuck in our tongue and it was the most painful thing. It was like alien blood from the movie Alien. You could hear the sizzle. You know what I mean? It is so hot.

Speaker 3:
[76:50] This guy's a card that says he survived the hot sauce.

Speaker 2:
[76:52] Yeah, yeah. It's a hot sauce.

Speaker 1:
[76:54] Oh, he just he just tried it once.

Speaker 3:
[76:56] Yeah, you get a card.

Speaker 2:
[76:57] You get a card. I don't have the card.

Speaker 1:
[76:59] We've got to get you a card.

Speaker 2:
[77:00] You got to get you got a card too, then.

Speaker 1:
[77:01] I'll go get a card with you. I'll go do it.

Speaker 2:
[77:03] Would you try it?

Speaker 1:
[77:03] Yeah, it's just going to be fucking annoying.

Speaker 2:
[77:04] It's so painful.

Speaker 1:
[77:05] It's going to ruin a part of your day.

Speaker 2:
[77:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[77:08] We learned a lot. We learned that you're going to be you're going to be getting a six pack. I at the very least get a two pack. Get a two pack shaker. But from doing setups, I think you can. I think you really can. If you're really doing 150 a day.

Speaker 2:
[77:24] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[77:24] No, just in the morning, in the morning. He said more.

Speaker 1:
[77:27] What are you doing in the afternoon?

Speaker 2:
[77:28] I'm trying to do 1,000.

Speaker 1:
[77:32] Can you videotape it?

Speaker 2:
[77:34] No.

Speaker 1:
[77:35] Because I want proof.

Speaker 2:
[77:36] Well, I mean, hopefully it'll show on my body.

Speaker 1:
[77:38] I don't think it will.

Speaker 2:
[77:39] You don't think it will?

Speaker 1:
[77:40] I don't.

Speaker 2:
[77:41] You don't think sit ups that many times?

Speaker 6:
[77:43] I think you count one and then you lay there for 10 minutes and you think, oh, I did 200.

Speaker 2:
[77:50] You think I'm doing some sort of Asian math?

Speaker 6:
[77:52] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[77:53] You guys are tricky.

Speaker 4:
[77:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[77:55] Well, I can't wait to see it. I want to see the results.

Speaker 2:
[77:57] Maybe you won't.

Speaker 4:
[77:58] Maybe I won't. Yeah, maybe you won't. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[78:03] Because it's condescending and it's negative.

Speaker 1:
[78:05] You're not doing a thousand fucking sit ups.

Speaker 2:
[78:08] It's disruptive, it's disruptive, it's not encouraging.

Speaker 4:
[78:12] You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[78:13] I'm discouraging?

Speaker 2:
[78:14] You're discouraging.

Speaker 1:
[78:15] No, I said I want you to prove that you're doing it.

Speaker 2:
[78:17] Yeah, it's draconian.

Speaker 4:
[78:21] Yeah, yeah, it's draconian.

Speaker 1:
[78:24] Is it?

Speaker 4:
[78:25] Yeah, yeah, harsh.

Speaker 1:
[78:26] It's harsh, draconian.

Speaker 2:
[78:30] Yeah, another word I learned through the TikToks.

Speaker 1:
[78:35] I was just going to say, this is a war thing. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 4:
[78:41] It's a war thing.