transcript
Speaker 1:
[00:17] Hello, welcome to My Favorite Murder.
Speaker 2:
[00:20] The mini-show.
Speaker 1:
[00:21] That's right, we read you your stories, your emails.
Speaker 2:
[00:24] This is the first time we've ever done this, so just stay patient with us, just stay in here with us.
Speaker 1:
[00:29] It's only been, what, 10 years?
Speaker 2:
[00:30] Just 10 in a row.
Speaker 1:
[00:32] Oh, and this is themed, I think this is the first time we've done this, this is 420 themed, because it's coming out on 420.
Speaker 2:
[00:38] That's right.
Speaker 1:
[00:38] I love that.
Speaker 2:
[00:39] We want to celebrate the crime stories, the personal stories, the grandma stories that also involve marijuana.
Speaker 1:
[00:47] Yeah, I don't even smoke it, but I fucking love that this is a thing.
Speaker 2:
[00:51] Listen, you don't have to smoke it to enjoy other people smoking it. It's kind of the best part of pot.
Speaker 1:
[00:57] Right, other people's horrible stories about pot. I have one that involves California Adventure.
Speaker 2:
[01:04] Is it because you ate a cookie and then decided you needed another cookie? Because that's every pot story I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1:
[01:10] Something like that, and I freaked the fuck out. You go first.
Speaker 2:
[01:13] Not unlike the time you did it at the Tom Petty concert.
Speaker 1:
[01:16] No, that was Mushrooms, I think.
Speaker 2:
[01:17] Oh, was it? Yeah. Okay, we'll do a different, we'll do it on Mushroom Day.
Speaker 1:
[01:21] Yeah, Mushroom Day.
Speaker 2:
[01:21] Yeah. Okay, you want me to go first? The subject line perfectly kicking this off of this email is An Infamous Killer, A Grandpa and Illegal Weed. Hello, Karen, Georgia Pets and Exactly Right Crew. I first listened to your podcast in 2020 and have only become a bigger fan with every listen. I have a story I think is worthy of writing in, so here we go. In 1977, my grandpa was working as a truck driver and one day, he had some time to kill, so he decided to spend the rest of the day and night with an old friend that lived near Aspen, Colorado. He headed that way into a night of catching up, drinking, smoking, and having absolutely no clue how different that day could have ended up for him. The day he just so happened to have extra time was the day Ted Bundy jumped out of the courthouse window in Aspen.
Speaker 1:
[02:12] What?
Speaker 2:
[02:13] Remember that part of that insane journey? The Aspen police stopped and searched every vehicle going in and out of town and considering that my grandpa was driving a truck full of illegal weed, you can understand how much of a lucky coincidence this was.
Speaker 1:
[02:29] Oh no.
Speaker 2:
[02:30] My dad was born just two years later and considering my grandpa would have been incarcerated, arrested or dumped by my nana, my dad or I would have never been born. I never even knew my grandpa until the 2010s when he sent my dad a letter in the mail explaining that he was his father.
Speaker 1:
[02:46] Wait, so he got caught with the illegal weed because they were searching for?
Speaker 2:
[02:49] He didn't get caught because they were looking for Ted Bundy. But they set up the checkpoint, but they weren't there to search people's stuff. They were looking for Ted Bundy. So they're like, go ahead, sir, you're not a serial killer.
Speaker 1:
[03:06] Oh my God.
Speaker 2:
[03:08] My weed and I thank you. My family and myself had the great pleasure of getting to hear all his crazy stories like this one for a couple of years before he died. I think about him often and I'm so grateful. I got to know him even just for a little while. Thank you for your podcast and all that you do. Stay sexy and visit an old friend when you have some time. Brinley.
Speaker 1:
[03:29] Wow. What a trip to just have a parent and not know them.
Speaker 2:
[03:34] Right. Then they come into your life when you're an adult.
Speaker 1:
[03:36] Right.
Speaker 2:
[03:37] So you have a whole new weird relationship and the issues that come with it.
Speaker 1:
[03:42] So many things to process.
Speaker 2:
[03:44] But more than that, that guy must have pulled over after he got through that stopping point or whatever or gone to the first bar and been like down here.
Speaker 1:
[03:53] Sweating.
Speaker 2:
[03:54] I mean, a truck filled with weed.
Speaker 1:
[03:56] In the 70s especially. That's prison for a long fucking time.
Speaker 2:
[03:59] Straight to prison.
Speaker 1:
[04:00] Straight to prison. Okay.
Speaker 2:
[04:02] Straight to jail.
Speaker 1:
[04:03] Fred Armisen. That was good. Someone in my house that shouldn't be. Hello darlings. It's 2003. I'm 23 years old, newly married and my husband and I are renting a house in a quaint St. Louis neighborhood. We'd become friends with our neighbor across the street named Joe and his roommate Daryl. Joe and Daryl. Older guys did odd jobs, so they were home a lot but were overall friendly and helpful. Like when my crappy ass car needed a jump in the morning, Joe would be walking over to help me within minutes of me realizing my car was dead. Multiple times. I thought naively, what a great neighbor. I worked my first office job then and it was 10 minutes from home, so every day I'd come home to eat lunch and feed our dog. And maybe smoke some weed. It says this comes into play. One day I head back to work after said lunch break and about 10 minutes later, I get a call on my desk phone, we didn't have cell phones then, asking if my name was XYZ and if I lived at XYZ. I'm like, yeah, it was the local police. They said someone had broken into my home. I was a little stoned, so I was like, oh, I was home just 10 minutes ago for a lunch break. It was just me. And they said, ma'am, you need to come home. We caught a man coming out of your house. And then the shocked emoji. I raced home, and you guessed it. My neighbor Joe is handcuffed and sitting on the side of my driveway. Turns out after I left to go back to work, our neighbor next door heard our dog barking his ass off and saw Joe sneak into our backyard and into our back door. So she called the cops because she knew it was weird. Cops arrived, catch him coming out the back door and search him. And ladies, all he had on him was a dirty pair of my underwear and a walkie-talkie.
Speaker 2:
[05:44] Oh.
Speaker 1:
[05:45] Yes, a walkie-talkie. I was in shock. So then the cops say, let's go inside to see if anything else is missing. I panicked. The bong I had smoked from during lunch break and the bag of weed was on our living room table.
Speaker 2:
[05:58] Sure.
Speaker 1:
[05:58] I was like, oh, it's okay. We don't need to go inside. I'm sure all he took was my underwear. And the male cop leans over to me and says, ma'am, I looked in the window and saw the weed. You're not the one in trouble today.
Speaker 2:
[06:13] Where has this cop been in everyone's life?
Speaker 1:
[06:16] Seriously.
Speaker 2:
[06:17] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[06:18] So here I was walking into my house, followed by cops walking past my bong and weed in a tray, acting like none of us see it while we look around and make sure nothing else was missing. Joe got arrested, but thanks to lax laws, he bonded out about four hours later. That's a whole other story involving finding out Joe had been stalking me, my husband, his BFF, and a guitar smashing into Joe's forehead and more cops, and us moving shortly after. I think that's the story.
Speaker 2:
[06:45] Oh, I get it.
Speaker 1:
[06:46] So when you say stay safe and don't get murdered, trust me, I take that shit seriously. Okay, love you. Bye, Kim. Bye, Kim.
Speaker 2:
[06:56] Kim, I'm sorry that happened to you, but it's stay sexy, don't get murdered. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:
[07:02] We hope you stay safe.
Speaker 2:
[07:03] Do we need to tell you that? Yeah. We assume that you are already doing that. That's awful and crazy and so gross.
Speaker 1:
[07:11] To have a neighbor like that, that you just like are constantly in fear of.
Speaker 2:
[07:15] Now, you've probably heard of this for other things, but wouldn't it be cool if there was a service where very large and intimidating looking biker type men would be there when he bonded out standing on his lawn. So that the message from the neighborhood is, how about you fuck off and get out of here.
Speaker 1:
[07:32] Right. We have protection now.
Speaker 2:
[07:34] Yeah. That should be a thing.
Speaker 1:
[07:36] Should be. I think you just invented it.
Speaker 2:
[07:38] I think poor man's copyright.
Speaker 1:
[07:41] We call it Hell's Angels.
Speaker 2:
[07:47] But it's just your face going like this.
Speaker 1:
[07:50] Is that a name? Can we trademark that? Hell's Angels.
Speaker 2:
[07:52] No one's ever done Hell's Angels before, right? Knock, knock, knock.
Speaker 1:
[07:57] I know, right.
Speaker 2:
[08:00] I'm not going to redo the subject line of this one, but similar. Beloved MFM, I briefly dated this guy in high school who was the walking cliche of an early aughts teenage stoner. Image faded metal band t-shirt, baggy jeans with wallet chains without a wallet, and sideshow bob hair. One day he and a buddy skipped school to smoke weed on his roof. One of them had built a bong out of a white PVC pipe.
Speaker 1:
[08:28] Oh, I've done that.
Speaker 2:
[08:29] Like a big, long, huge one.
Speaker 1:
[08:31] We'd go to the top of my bunk bed to smoke from it. Off my bunk bed.
Speaker 2:
[08:35] So you could get high enough into it. Jesus.
Speaker 1:
[08:38] Which is like, oh, microplastics. I'm worried about fucking Tupperware now, but I used to smoke fucking PVC and tin foil.
Speaker 2:
[08:44] The goodness is that you inhaling that PVC actually coated all of your organs. No other microplastics could get in.
Speaker 1:
[08:51] That's great. It's almost like I laminated my organs. That's right.
Speaker 2:
[08:56] It's your own VIP pass to yourself. Okay, so I'm sure it was absolutely foul to smoke out of, approved or confirmed, because one of them threw it off the roof and never thought about it again. That afternoon, their whole neighborhood was blocked off. Cop cars everywhere, state police, unmarked vans, crime scene tape, you know the drill. That's when the bomb squad showed up. These boys were so quick to discard the blackened plastic monstrosity of a bong that they didn't notice it roll into the middle of their suburban street. A neighbor must have walked by and thought it looked like a pipe bomb. So they did their civic duty and reported it to the police. It was quickly determined to not be an explosive pipe bomb, but a pipe bong.
Speaker 1:
[09:39] Love it.
Speaker 2:
[09:40] That's tough. No one knew it was them. And even if it was collected for evidence, they were minors and surprisingly didn't have criminal records. No one was the wiser, a real stoner miracle, I guess. Stay sexy and don't call the bomb squad on the bong squad. Thank you for all you do. So much love, Katie from Bloomington. One of my favorite cities.
Speaker 1:
[10:01] Remember we didn't have a pipe, so you take our fucking Coke can and poke holes in it and then light it on fucking fire and we'd inhale?
Speaker 2:
[10:09] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[10:10] What were we inhaling?
Speaker 2:
[10:12] Tiny pieces of aluminum. Yeah. Love.
Speaker 1:
[10:16] Now, I won't even like, I won't even take the receipt at a fucking convenience store because it's toxic. Do you know it's toxic? You're supposed to touch them. But it's like we used to fucking, I used to smoke meth out of fucking tin foil.
Speaker 2:
[10:28] Listen, we have to build our lives from something. And if it's going to be a diet Pepsi can with a thumb dent in it, then that's what we do, what we must.
Speaker 1:
[10:42] At least we're not, okay.
Speaker 2:
[10:45] At least we're recycling.
Speaker 1:
[10:46] Yeah. I'm not going to reach the subject line. Hi, as in episode 444, Georgia talks about the third man and I realized I had a third man run in that I am forever grateful for. Remember third man syndrome? I was in my late 20s living away from my parents for the first time and had just had a lovely night out dancing with my friends. Came home nicely buzzed and feeling pretty delightful with myself and I remembered I had some shitty weed. So I lit some candles, texted my friend what I was doing and leaned out the window to smoke a badly rolled joint. My friend texted back as I was about to drop off, don't forget to blow out the candles. I did blow them out except for one. Like I said, I was a little drunk, I was a little stoned, I was pretty much passed out all cozy in my bed when I felt a nudge on my shoulder. I ignored, then I got a thump on my back and that rolled me over. I woke up to see the chair beside my bed on fire. Yes. And then it's the emoji, the smiley emoji but it's melting into the-
Speaker 2:
[11:51] Literally melting.
Speaker 1:
[11:51] Yeah. My first reaction was to try to blow it out because drunk, but quickly saw my two glasses of water on the floor. I had brought up with me, so smart.
Speaker 2:
[12:00] Two glasses.
Speaker 1:
[12:01] Hydrate.
Speaker 2:
[12:01] So drunk.
Speaker 1:
[12:02] I know. And after a few minutes of panicked, but discreet running from my room to the bathroom to refill the glasses, the fire was out. My roommates were none the wiser.
Speaker 2:
[12:11] Oh my God.
Speaker 1:
[12:12] Quietly running so they don't wake them up.
Speaker 2:
[12:13] What's that smell?
Speaker 1:
[12:14] I'm like, my heart was something, my brain reeling from how the actual fuck did I wake up and who punched me. I figured it was one of my grandparents' angels and eventually went to sleep. Love you, ladies. Stay sexy and blow out all the candles or pass on the shitty weed, Frankie She Her.
Speaker 2:
[12:33] Frankie, I got to tell you, home gym would be very upset if he heard this hometown, this is the thing that he would harangue me about on the phone like when I was college age.
Speaker 1:
[12:43] The candles?
Speaker 2:
[12:44] He really, really doesn't like candles. Because of course, you like candles when you're high or drunk.
Speaker 1:
[12:50] I know. Vince forgot to blow one out the other night when he left. But I had lit because he never lights them.
Speaker 2:
[12:55] Right.
Speaker 1:
[12:55] So he was like, I didn't, but I was like, you should always look for candles, right?
Speaker 2:
[13:00] Maybe you guys need a little, like a candle whiteboard.
Speaker 1:
[13:04] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[13:04] And you have to go down and be like, check. Lit it in the conservatory. Please put it out. I love that thing where like you come in hours later and it's all liquid and you're just like, don't explode.
Speaker 1:
[13:16] I am so lucky.
Speaker 2:
[13:17] Yes.
Speaker 1:
[13:17] Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:
[13:21] Okay. This is a weed story made for me. I won't reach at the subject line. It says, evening ladies at all. I love the podcast and your consistent advocacy for mental health awareness. My name is Emily. You can use it. Now, now that the pleasantries are over, buckle up. It's 2018. I was 19 years old and working at an outlet mall. And then in parentheses, it says Tanger Outlets, because the name of your personal outlet mall really matters.
Speaker 1:
[13:48] It does matter.
Speaker 2:
[13:49] In my home state of Pennsylvania, I'm giving you this piece of information because you can easily look this fact up. Oh. Yeah. This shift isn't a normal shift because about two nights before, I was hanging out smoking weed with a now ex-friend. You must specify. I took some home and I smoked more of it. Turns out they gave me bad spice.
Speaker 1:
[14:12] What's that?
Speaker 2:
[14:13] Synthetic Pot K2. They call it.
Speaker 1:
[14:16] Oh my God. Okay. That's why it's next friend.
Speaker 2:
[14:18] Yeah. Believe me, when I say bad, I mean bad. I was messed up for about three days. Then in parentheses, it says time was a blur and says fishbowl vision, shakes, everything. So this is a real-
Speaker 1:
[14:32] Has this happened to me then because I've gotten so fucked up on weed that it didn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:
[14:37] Yes. That somebody may have accidentally or whatever you got, synthetic weed or Crayton. There's a weird name for it.
Speaker 1:
[14:44] Right.
Speaker 2:
[14:45] Where you're like way beyond fucked up.
Speaker 1:
[14:47] I feel like I have. Okay.
Speaker 2:
[14:49] Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[14:49] That explains a lot.
Speaker 2:
[14:52] Do you need to call somebody?
Speaker 1:
[14:53] That explains this is a fever dream.
Speaker 2:
[14:55] It's explains how we got here right now.
Speaker 1:
[14:56] Exactly.
Speaker 2:
[14:57] Okay. It says anyways, being a resilient teenager, I still went to work for some reason. Later in the shift, I was handing out price charts for a sale, and I looked down to pick something up, and that's when I feel the rumble and hear the screaming. I look up, and on day two of a three-day high, mind you, the ground was gone.
Speaker 1:
[15:18] What?
Speaker 2:
[15:19] I look at one of the other potheads that worked in the store, and I asked, did you see that too? He slowly nodded yes, then the moment was still until a riptide of action began. Six cars went down and a woman went with them. So basically-
Speaker 1:
[15:34] A sinkhole.
Speaker 2:
[15:35] A sinkhole.
Speaker 1:
[15:36] While you're high.
Speaker 2:
[15:37] High on a drug that's kept you high for days so you don't know what's real. Oh my God. She was apparently loading bags into her trunk and the ground just gave out.
Speaker 1:
[15:46] Oh honey.
Speaker 2:
[15:47] People outside were able to get her out safely. Everybody in the store just walked out and I moved my car as it was only about 10 yards from the edge of the sinkhole.
Speaker 1:
[15:56] No! Yep.
Speaker 2:
[15:59] Operate that vehicle. That was sarcasm. And I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no, we didn't get to leave work early. As my manager put it, the store is still standing.
Speaker 1:
[16:09] What? Come on.
Speaker 2:
[16:12] As my manager slash franchise owner.
Speaker 1:
[16:14] Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:
[16:15] This is the time I witnessed a sinkhole open in a parking lot while I was stoned out of my mind. Thank you for all your time. And if there's a lesson to take from this, it's to not fuck with Mother Earth and legalize recreational cannabis. I disagree.
Speaker 1:
[16:29] It doesn't sound like it.
Speaker 2:
[16:32] Yours truly, Emily.
Speaker 1:
[16:34] I mean, it's don't smoke synthetic cannabis is the lesson.
Speaker 2:
[16:37] It's illegalized synthetic cannabis and illegalized fucked up friends that would drug you.
Speaker 1:
[16:45] Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:
[16:46] Fuck you.
Speaker 1:
[16:46] Yeah, like, OK, it's all coming. It's all making sense now. I'm doing one of those. OK.
Speaker 2:
[16:53] You're remembering exactly who you smoked that pot with.
Speaker 1:
[16:56] Triangulating. OK, this one is about getting your dad high. You'd figured that out anyway, so I'm just going to read you the even though it's a spoiler. Hi, ladies. First time writer and newbie listener as of this year. I recently went to Europe for a work trip that extended into vacation, so I was away for almost three weeks. Since my dad lives 15 minutes away, I asked him to stop by occasionally to check my mail, check on Kevin, not my kitty, but an orange kitty who lives in the garage, and just generally make sure my house wasn't going to fall down while I was gone.
Speaker 2:
[17:27] St. Cole style.
Speaker 1:
[17:28] About two weeks into my trip, I got the longest text message from my dad. I'm pretty sure he has ever typed. A little background here. Like many boomer parents, my dad is a man of few words and is known to very abruptly end phone conversations with some variation of, well, I'm done talking.
Speaker 2:
[17:45] I respect that a lot.
Speaker 1:
[17:46] My brother and I have even taken to sharing our call logs to see who can have the longer conversation with him. Anything past 10 minutes is a miracle. Back to the text I received. It was a book about how he had spent some time at my house the previous day and while he was there, he did the following things. Checked my mail but then noticed my mailbox was a bit wobbly, so he made a plan for repair. Watched a Netflix movie while eating leftover food in my fridge. Noticed my car's registration sticker was on the couch and not on my car, so he fixed that problem. Set the clocks on my microwave and oven, made sure Kevin had food and water. Besides finding this text a little out of the ordinary, I didn't think much about it. He's a dad and actions are his love language, so I thought he was just enjoying being at my house. That is until I came home and saw the remnants of two THC containing strawberry lemonade drinks in my recycle bin that definitely were not there before. As a former hippie, my dad isn't unfamiliar with partaking in certain recreational habits, but we haven't exactly discussed what those habits are with one another. Such a dad thing. I have so many questions and very few answers now, though. No wonder he ate all my snacks and zoned out in the living room, had paranoia kicked in when he realized he didn't know what time it was. Did I get the strain of THC that made him super productive until he had twice the suggested serving size? I'll see him here in a couple of weeks and I'm still considering my approach. Do I ask him directly if he knew what he drank? Or do I ask a series of leading questions to try to discern how high he actually was? The latter part sounds more fun at least. Thanks for all you ladies do. You make my Monday, Wednesday and Friday drives to work quite enjoyable. I'll be working on breaking that top 10 percent next year. Stay sexy and keep hiding your weed from your parents, even as a 38-year-old, Emily.
Speaker 2:
[19:40] Wait, so Emily's saying that those weren't her pot drinks.
Speaker 1:
[19:43] It sounds like they were.
Speaker 2:
[19:44] Oh, they were.
Speaker 1:
[19:45] They were in her fridge and her dad went in her fridge to get something.
Speaker 2:
[19:49] She was saying they weren't in the garbage before she left. Oh, got it, got it. Because I was like, did he just come to the house and sneak his own weed drinks? But he thought he was having a nice soda.
Speaker 1:
[19:59] I think so.
Speaker 2:
[20:00] Oh, shit.
Speaker 1:
[20:01] I know. They weren't in the recycling bin. They were in the fridge.
Speaker 2:
[20:05] I mean, all of those pieces, it's so funny where it's like he sat and watched a Netflix movie and ate leftovers.
Speaker 1:
[20:11] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[20:12] Sir.
Speaker 1:
[20:12] And then did the weirdest thing, which is text her the longest fucking text messages about everything he did, which is like, Here's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:
[20:18] But also if you were super high and you didn't understand why, it would feel really good to be like, Hey, Georgia.
Speaker 1:
[20:24] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[20:25] I'm just sitting here and everything's normal. And petting the dogs a little bit. I'm watching a movie. I might eat some popcorn.
Speaker 1:
[20:32] Yeah.
Speaker 2:
[20:32] And then you answering me would be like, and you're still on Earth.
Speaker 1:
[20:37] Right. And everything is still fine.
Speaker 2:
[20:39] You're fine. Is that it? I think that's it. God, that went fast. That was delightful. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
[20:44] Please send those in. Maybe we'll do another high one just for the fun of it. We doesn't have to be 420 to celebrate all your fucked up stories about getting high.
Speaker 2:
[20:51] And you don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time. That's right. So don't feel pressured about this episode that you're supposed to like drugs. You're not supposed to like drugs.
Speaker 1:
[21:00] No. We highly recommend you don't like them. But send your emails to My Favorite Murder at Gmail.
Speaker 2:
[21:06] And stay sexy.
Speaker 1:
[21:07] And don't get murdered.
Speaker 2:
[21:09] Goodbye.
Speaker 1:
[21:11] Elvis, do you want a cookie?
Speaker 2:
[21:20] This has been an Exactly Right production.
Speaker 1:
[21:21] Our senior producer is Molly Smith, and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 2:
[21:25] Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
Speaker 1:
[21:27] This episode was mixed by Liana Squillacci.
Speaker 2:
[21:29] Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurderatgmail.com.
Speaker 1:
[21:32] Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.
Speaker 2:
[21:34] Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1:
[21:39] And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 2:
[21:42] And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye.