transcript

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 3:
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Speaker 4:
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Speaker 5:
[02:16] I don't know, you're a leader, you're a natural leader. That's why.

Speaker 4:
[02:21] Oh, cool. We decided to go here at The Woods for this, our 420 episode, to celebrate 420 at the pot store that you and I own together. Much more of your money, thank God. But we're trying. It's not easy to make a business work in California.

Speaker 5:
[02:51] California just messes with every businessman.

Speaker 4:
[02:55] I mean, I don't want to start this off. Why not? Why just shitting on California? But California deserves to be shit on for a lot of this kind of stuff. People know, and this is why people flee the state. What is that?

Speaker 5:
[03:08] Watermelon juice.

Speaker 4:
[03:10] I'll have a little. Yeah, watermelon. Why is that like a big health thing now?

Speaker 5:
[03:14] Well, it hydrates you better than anything. Actually, watermelon and coconut are the best hydrates.

Speaker 4:
[03:21] But yeah, California sucks as far as, well, all businesses, but certainly this one. They still treat it like it's poison.

Speaker 5:
[03:32] They treat it like-

Speaker 4:
[03:32] Either it's legal or it's not, you know.

Speaker 5:
[03:34] Yeah, they treat it like you're lucky that you are, that we allow you to do this. And so we're going to tax you 35%, which is way more. It's more than double anything. Nothing's, I don't even know what's the second, but you know, like guns, 10%, right? Like just to give you-

Speaker 4:
[03:56] What's beer?

Speaker 5:
[03:58] You know, beer is like what, 3% or something, you know? Like it's ridiculous that they can just tax the fuck out of you and make it so hard. Anyway, I don't want to bitch and moan. I'm a happy person, generally.

Speaker 4:
[04:12] I'm not happy about this.

Speaker 5:
[04:14] Yeah, I'm not happy.

Speaker 4:
[04:15] I'm never happy when anybody with my money. I'm a gangster like that.

Speaker 5:
[04:18] Yeah, well they...

Speaker 4:
[04:19] And they're fucking with my money.

Speaker 5:
[04:21] They also don't allow you to write anything off. They don't allow you to write anything off. And they tax you 35%.

Speaker 4:
[04:29] And also for the longest time, it was a very risky business because you couldn't put the money in the bank, right? The banks wouldn't take your dirty fucking pot money that you fucking hippies got by what? Smoking pot? That money can't taint your whole lease of polter that is a bank? Right. Nothing shitty would ever happen there. But you know what I'm talking about? That's it. Is that still going on?

Speaker 5:
[04:55] That's still going on.

Speaker 4:
[04:56] And everybody would have truckloads of cash around. So of course they were our target for robbers, right?

Speaker 5:
[05:07] Yeah. That's another thing they do for you here in California. Though you can do it. Some banks, I heard, can do it now.

Speaker 4:
[05:16] Yes. No, it's changing.

Speaker 5:
[05:19] Oh, do we got? Hey, do we got?

Speaker 6:
[05:21] Oh, What do you need?

Speaker 5:
[05:23] I was going to have papers. I don't know how I'm going to roll. I need papers and a grinder. These guys are listening. They'll suggest it to someone. Anyway, or we could just go for this. But that's Indica, straight up.

Speaker 4:
[05:38] You don't have any? You only have Indica?

Speaker 5:
[05:40] I don't know why we only have Indica here. I'd love to have Sativa or Hybrid.

Speaker 4:
[05:45] I know why, because who works at a pot store? Stoners.

Speaker 5:
[05:48] Stoners, exactly. So if you guys are listening down there, we'd like to get some Sativa, some Hybrid, whatever you can do.

Speaker 4:
[06:01] So you prefer to roll.

Speaker 5:
[06:04] That's my favorite right there. Well, these guys are great. Purple papaya.

Speaker 4:
[06:11] Yeah. I did a photo shoot, as you know, and I smoked. They wanted a picture of me. I love the picture. It was a couple of years ago. It was right up here, I think, or one of the other bungalows.

Speaker 5:
[06:24] We have it down in the-

Speaker 4:
[06:25] Yeah, yeah. So they gave me a prop joint, but it was your, I forget, block mambo or some shit. I must have keef in it or something. Because I was smoking, it just took a few pumps for the shot. Cool shots, it's like Humphrey Bogart if he was a pot smoker, when the smoke is sexy. It just is. People like it, it looks cool and picky. So, and I didn't realize it took like three or four hits, and I was like, it takes a lot to get me stoned. I don't know what was in this shit. But I had interviews to do after, and I never said that. I said to my publicist, I can't talk, I can do an interview right now. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. I feel like I'm on one of those people who takes Ambien, and they don't know what the fuck they do in the middle of the night. They're like, Kennedy drove into the Capitol, not one of the Kennedys, Patrick, I think.

Speaker 5:
[07:24] Not Teddy.

Speaker 4:
[07:25] Not Teddy, he drove into a river. And then the limousine, these people are bad with cars. But they stuck with their, there you go.

Speaker 5:
[07:35] Yeah, come on in, Hulk. Hey, Hulk.

Speaker 7:
[07:40] This is Bill.

Speaker 4:
[07:41] We know each other.

Speaker 5:
[07:43] Oh, you got a grinder? Oh, good. Nice.

Speaker 6:
[07:49] Okay, brother.

Speaker 5:
[07:50] Thank you. Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[07:52] But you always, this is your thing, you like the ritual of preparing the drugs.

Speaker 5:
[08:00] No, no, I'm happy to have a pre-roll, but it's just that this particular, this herb right here, I'm telling you, I met the farmers. I'm like, I'm coming up to meet you guys up there, which I haven't yet followed through, but these guys are my shows, man.

Speaker 4:
[08:17] That's our pledge to you from The Woods. We meet the farmers.

Speaker 5:
[08:21] We meet the farmers.

Speaker 4:
[08:23] A lot of...

Speaker 5:
[08:24] We do. We give a shit about what we're...

Speaker 4:
[08:27] You think they'd do that at Hot R Us or whatever the other shitty stores are around here? No, they don't meet the farmers. And when they do meet the farmers, the farmers are way more impressed with you. Honey, you'll never guess who came to the farm today. Woody Harrelson.

Speaker 6:
[08:47] The guy from Cheers?

Speaker 4:
[08:50] Yeah. They haven't caught up to your movies yet.

Speaker 5:
[08:54] No, it's... I've done a hundred. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 4:
[08:58] Have you really done a hundred?

Speaker 5:
[08:59] Yeah. A hundred movies. And that's what I was with Jason, because we were, you know, we're gonna do a movie together.

Speaker 4:
[09:07] What is the movie you're doing with him?

Speaker 5:
[09:09] Yeah. It's called Calculing of the Dodo's with Sam Rockwell as well. So we were just, you know, running scenes together today.

Speaker 4:
[09:20] So you and Jason Bateman.

Speaker 5:
[09:22] Jason's directing it.

Speaker 4:
[09:23] Oh, he's directing it.

Speaker 5:
[09:24] And he did writing on it. He made the script. I really feel like the script went from pretty good to like Coen Brothers. Like it really became a terrific. He's, that guy is so sharp.

Speaker 4:
[09:37] I agree. I think he's entering another level, you know, with directing in his career. So that's good. As always, you find a way to hit your wagon to people who can do you some good in the business. I love the way you do that. I love the way you hang on. I mean, what are you, are you 65?

Speaker 5:
[09:59] I'm a little bit of a 64.

Speaker 4:
[10:01] 64, be 64.

Speaker 5:
[10:02] So I'm retiring obviously next year.

Speaker 4:
[10:04] You're not retiring, but you will be playing Bad Grandpa. No, I mean, I don't mean that as an insult. In fact, I mean that as a compliment because when you get to these uprages, the only way you can stay hired is if you were iconic. Like, okay, De Niro, yes, we will use you to your debt. They just eat you till we will. Clint Eastwood could be, possibly is, 99.

Speaker 5:
[10:32] Right, he's.

Speaker 4:
[10:33] And he did a movie, and I love Clint Eastwood. There are a few filmmakers I would speak up for more. I mean, I would love to meet him. One of the few I would love to meet. Oh, really? Yeah, me too. And just say, thank you for the entertainment. I mean, and you know, so what a great, amazing career with different phases. And what a, you know, anyway, you know, they hate him in Hollywood because he's, you know, sort of a Republican. It's like, oh, come on, really? Do you have to fucking obsess about that?

Speaker 5:
[11:04] He's not. Well, because you know, I live in Texas, dude. I mean, I'm meeting, it's all day long. I'm meeting, I'm hanging with Republicans and you know, like you don't, you just don't talk about, that's not, that's just not talk about it. I don't want to talk about Trump.

Speaker 8:
[11:20] I don't want to talk about Biden.

Speaker 5:
[11:22] And to me, as you know, I'm an anarchist. That's how most, so I don't.

Speaker 4:
[11:26] Right. Right, you're an anarchist.

Speaker 5:
[11:29] I am.

Speaker 7:
[11:31] I don't believe in government.

Speaker 5:
[11:32] Government's.

Speaker 4:
[11:33] Okay. Well, I agree.

Speaker 5:
[11:35] Every once in a while, there's a good, there's a good government. Every once in a while.

Speaker 4:
[11:39] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[11:40] I mean, when's the last good government you saw?

Speaker 4:
[11:44] Almost all democratic governments are way better than anarchy. Anarchy is, have you seen all those movies that take place like after the war, the big war, the apocalyptic event, and now it's just this bleak landscape, what is it, the one with not road runner, blade runner. No, no, not that.

Speaker 5:
[12:07] A blade runner.

Speaker 4:
[12:08] No, no, that's the future. What's the one that's like desert and Charlize Theron and somebody else, you know.

Speaker 5:
[12:16] I thought that was Blade Runner.

Speaker 4:
[12:17] No, no, Blade Runner is Harrison Ford in the future. This is...

Speaker 5:
[12:23] Oh, you mean in Tom...

Speaker 4:
[12:25] Yes, yes.

Speaker 5:
[12:26] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[12:27] Yeah, and they hated each other on the movie, but what? No, they didn't.

Speaker 5:
[12:32] No, we all heard.

Speaker 4:
[12:33] Really? I mean, it doesn't matter. You could hate... People hate each other and make movies together all the time. Not you. I mean, all your co-stars, I must say, when... You are a guy who stays friends with everybody you ever work with, it seems like.

Speaker 5:
[12:51] Well, I wish that were true.

Speaker 4:
[12:53] Especially the men. You know, you have a...

Speaker 5:
[12:56] Especially the men.

Speaker 4:
[12:57] Especially the good-looking younger men. I'm not saying...

Speaker 5:
[13:00] The handsome youngies.

Speaker 4:
[13:01] When you think about who's in your... You know, McConaughey and Owen Wilson, and then, you know, who's the latest one? James Marsden and Franco. You know, I'm just saying, you surround yourself with attractive young men. It's a very normal thing to do. Burt Reynolds did it for years. Charles Nelson Reilly.

Speaker 5:
[13:25] Well, I'm starting to get the feeling...

Speaker 4:
[13:28] Dom DeLuis He-Man. Like that.

Speaker 5:
[13:31] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[13:32] Paul.

Speaker 5:
[13:34] Paul. What's the name?

Speaker 4:
[13:35] Paul Rudd.

Speaker 1:
[13:36] It's disgusting.

Speaker 4:
[13:37] He must...

Speaker 5:
[13:39] Paul Lind.

Speaker 4:
[13:39] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[13:42] He was... He was great.

Speaker 4:
[13:44] So what are we smoking?

Speaker 5:
[13:48] And this is the... This is this. This is the... We're calling it Woody's personal stash here, but it's... It's gonna change, and I think I'm gonna call it Woody's goodies or something. Yeah. But it's... I mean, it's nicer.

Speaker 4:
[14:05] But what...

Speaker 5:
[14:05] Very nice. This... Oh, this is... This is from... This is from Humboldt.

Speaker 4:
[14:11] So you talked to the farmer about this one?

Speaker 5:
[14:13] Yeah. Oh, yeah. The farmer was here. And, you know...

Speaker 4:
[14:17] Harry's real slick about it.

Speaker 5:
[14:19] Just that he hit a home run and he knows it. And everybody who tastes it is like, that is great herb.

Speaker 4:
[14:26] I thought farmers were modest. Huh? I thought farmers were modest. You know, I mean...

Speaker 5:
[14:32] No, this guy's very modest, actually. Him and his wife. Very modest. But they do know they have a beautiful product here. And, you know, but everything that I love is... It's sun-grown, it's soil-nourished, it's... The water is clean. You know, it's not like... You know, so much of the herb people... There's a lot of herb here at this place that I would never smoke. And it's just like, you know, the water came from the valley. You know, it's never seen the sun, it's never seen soil. And so my whole dream is to try to make, even though it's not as lucrative, but in the end, it doesn't matter because, you know, more people coming in to saying, oh, I want that really more healthy, better vibe. So you don't smoke one hit and want to just lay down on the couch.

Speaker 4:
[15:26] I couldn't agree more. You know what else would be great?

Speaker 5:
[15:30] Lucrative. Yeah. Lucrative would be.

Speaker 4:
[15:35] And you know what? The truth is that they're not mutually exclusive. That one does feed the other if you let people know what the product is and why it's better. They will pay a little more. I mean, the pot crowd, I feel, is also a health crowd. Make your own, okay, sitting on the couch, eating Cheetos, Joe. Yes, there's that aspect of pot. But generally, I feel like it's more people who are into more like wellness and that kind of stuff, health kind of stuff.

Speaker 5:
[16:09] Hippies.

Speaker 4:
[16:11] That's right. Well, because liquor is the worst for you. We're not doing that. Well, I mean, sometimes we are doing it too.

Speaker 5:
[16:18] No, I would never. I would never. I do. You know me. I drink.

Speaker 4:
[16:24] But you then go through stark periods where you renounce it like it's safe.

Speaker 5:
[16:29] That's true.

Speaker 4:
[16:31] I know it's true.

Speaker 5:
[16:33] I quit drinking frequently. I quit smoking frequently. Out of the last time, I think you probably remember, I quit for almost two years, quit pot, and then of course Willie, Willie happened, and he had many times tried to get me to, you're staying focused and you're being, okay, I'll have a little bit.

Speaker 4:
[16:59] But I thought he was-

Speaker 5:
[17:00] I ran into Willie, and I had already had the experience countless times where Willie kept trying to, he'd be like, and I'd like, Willie, remember I quit? And he's like, oh, oh, oh, okay. And then a week later, I'd see him and he'd be like, and I'd be like, Willie, remember? I quit, and he'd go, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay. And anyway, we were at this game, right? And usually, poker. And then usually, like, you have a bad beat, you got beat down bad. It's a great time, you know. I take a beating in the hand and I see Willie and I, Willie, I quit. You know I've quit.

Speaker 8:
[17:46] Oh, okay.

Speaker 5:
[17:49] And then he did a reverse psychology on me. I won a big hand, right? And he had his pen with the Willie's Reserve, which I had never had his Willie's Reserve. And so he, he.

Speaker 4:
[18:03] Just like the bomb.

Speaker 5:
[18:04] It's his strain that he, the Willie's strain. So anyway, it was in a, in a pen.

Speaker 4:
[18:08] But it's supposed to be like the bomb kind of pop.

Speaker 5:
[18:11] Well, no, I didn't know. I just thought it's Willie's. I want to try it. And, and so he had offered it to me several times. And anyway, so finally I win this big hand. And I'm like, yes, right? Boom. He, he's sitting next to me, just hands out the pen. And I'm like, it, you know? And he goes, welcome home, son. And that was it.

Speaker 4:
[18:38] But I thought he was the one who couldn't smoke pot.

Speaker 5:
[18:42] He doesn't smoke now.

Speaker 4:
[18:43] Okay, so this must be before, because the last time I went to Hawaii, I remember backstage, there was all this mischigah about like, you know, don't, don't tempt Willie and don't offer Willie, keep away from Willie.

Speaker 5:
[18:58] Easily tempted, by the way.

Speaker 4:
[19:00] Willie is smoking a joint, you know, but I guess he has emphysema.

Speaker 5:
[19:07] Well, it's just, you know, like he smoked cigarettes from when he was like 11 or something.

Speaker 4:
[19:14] So you don't think this is...

Speaker 5:
[19:15] And he smoked it for whatever, 40, 50 years, and he really wanted to quit. And so what he did was he rolled up like 20 joints, emptied all the cigarettes, put all the... Yeah, put all the joints in the cigarette pack. And every time he wanted a cigarette, he smoked a joint. So he replaced completely the cigarettes, but he was smoking pretty continuously. And eventually, I mean, look, guys like you and I, we want to believe there's no ill effect, but smoking just can't be good for you on any level of anything you're smoking.

Speaker 4:
[19:56] You know, I was about to just ask you that question, and what a depressing answer. I was actually hoping it would be from you, a hippie, always looking on the bright side. That's bleak. But true. You're right.

Speaker 5:
[20:10] It's true. It's true.

Speaker 4:
[20:11] You know, we may, yeah. But don't you think that if we keep talking long enough, we can convince ourselves of the opposite? No, I'm kidding. But don't you think there is a different, much different effect from only smoking? I mean, you don't smoke all day long, right?

Speaker 5:
[20:30] No.

Speaker 4:
[20:31] Even when you smoke?

Speaker 5:
[20:32] Like, I didn't smoke today till just now.

Speaker 4:
[20:34] I didn't smoke at all yesterday.

Speaker 5:
[20:36] Yeah. Well, you're very disciplined. I'm not, I'm not disciplined. You know, I'm not like you. Many times I've passed you a joint and you're like, I'm not right now, blah, blah, blah. If someone passes me a joint, I'm ingesting it unless I'm doing an interview.

Speaker 4:
[20:51] Right.

Speaker 5:
[20:52] The only person I've done an interview high with is you. That last interview, I was so high and so drunk. My God, we had to cut like 45 minutes of that thing out. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[21:03] Oh, I'd like to see that. Yeah, I'd like to see the unedited version.

Speaker 5:
[21:07] The unedited version.

Speaker 4:
[21:08] As the Rabbi said, I'd like to see the uncut version. Good night, everybody. As the pedophile Rabbi said, that's a better version of that joke. Okay. Well, I was going to ask you something important. What are your new projects? I hear you're an animal in a movie. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[21:38] We did Animal Farm.

Speaker 4:
[21:39] There you go.

Speaker 5:
[21:40] Andy Serkis directed, and it is beautiful.

Speaker 4:
[21:43] Who's that now? Who is that?

Speaker 5:
[21:46] Andy Serkis. You know, he played Gollum. He's known for doing these. He was Caesar in the Apes movies. He's just a phenomenal physical actor, but he's also just a great actor, just generally. I did a play with him in London, Ulster American, and oh my God, is he amazing.

Speaker 4:
[22:12] But this is a cartoon?

Speaker 5:
[22:14] But yeah, the Animal Farm is a cartoon, and I played Boxer the horse. So I'm going, they're going to premiere it in New York.

Speaker 4:
[22:24] I'm not sure I ever got around to Animal Farm. I know what it is. I know it's Orwell.

Speaker 5:
[22:30] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[22:31] I know it's a, well, I guess I don't. It's a sly commentary on?

Speaker 5:
[22:38] Yeah. I used to always think it was about Russia, but now I equally think it's about America. You know, it's ultimately about.

Speaker 4:
[22:48] Totalitarian?

Speaker 5:
[22:49] Yeah. Big Brother kind of just taking over and every, you know, everything being controlled by Big Brother, which is pretty much where we're at right now.

Speaker 4:
[22:59] So same theme as 1984, his other book.

Speaker 5:
[23:02] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[23:02] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[23:03] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[23:05] So you think this is especially?

Speaker 5:
[23:06] This is an allegory, you know, animals. Yeah, it's but it's really well done. That the movie is, I think, fantastic. I love it.

Speaker 4:
[23:16] And I think, well, I guess now you've done one hundred and one movies. That is a lot of movies.

Speaker 5:
[23:26] It's a lot of movies.

Speaker 4:
[23:28] And they're all memorable in their own way. You think they're.

Speaker 5:
[23:31] Well, you mean in terms of my experience?

Speaker 4:
[23:34] I don't know. I'm just trying to imagine if I had done a hundred movies, would I actually remember all of them? Well, some of them must have been a blur.

Speaker 5:
[23:44] I think there's several of them that I'm not proud of, but there's quite a few that I am proud of, very proud of. Some, some I think are great.

Speaker 4:
[23:55] What are you not proud of? I want to hear that list. What are you not proud of? I want to hear that list.

Speaker 5:
[24:01] No, I don't want to, because I did that before, and people were quite upset about it. You're totally right. Because you would think, you don't let yourself just express it. Right. But.

Speaker 4:
[24:18] Well, I think your batting average is quite good, you know.

Speaker 5:
[24:23] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[24:23] Nobody, I mean, especially if you've been to the plate a hundred times. I mean, you know, no one's.

Speaker 5:
[24:29] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[24:30] Going to be some.

Speaker 5:
[24:31] Get that many times to the plate.

Speaker 4:
[24:32] There's going to be some shit in there.

Speaker 5:
[24:34] By the way, you know.

Speaker 4:
[24:36] It's hard to make a movie.

Speaker 5:
[24:37] Babe Ruth was not just the, you know, was not just the home run king, he was the strikeout king. So, you know, I might be in the Babe Ruth category. Equally, home run king. I got some home runs, but boy do I have some strikeouts.

Speaker 4:
[24:53] Or that, or Willie Mays.

Speaker 5:
[24:56] Oh, right.

Speaker 4:
[24:57] Be Willie Mays.

Speaker 5:
[24:59] Right. Well, Willie Mays probably had better average than...

Speaker 4:
[25:03] Well, that story where he brought you back into smoking pot.

Speaker 5:
[25:08] Oh, Willie Nelson, yes.

Speaker 4:
[25:09] Oh, that was Willie Nelson.

Speaker 5:
[25:10] He was saying Willie Mays.

Speaker 4:
[25:11] I thought we were talking about Willie Mays.

Speaker 8:
[25:12] Did I say Willie Mays?

Speaker 6:
[25:13] Joking with you. I'm fucking with you.

Speaker 5:
[25:17] I thought... I don't remember saying Willie Mays, but I might have said Willie Mays.

Speaker 4:
[25:20] No, but you only said Willie, so it was left open.

Speaker 5:
[25:23] Thank you.

Speaker 4:
[25:25] But, boy, you can hear that bird, can't you?

Speaker 5:
[25:29] Oh, they're... They add a lot to the ambiance, I may say. Yeah. There's some jealousy going on over there.

Speaker 4:
[25:38] Well, I mean, you know, not to be all infomercial about it, but this place is amazing. And if you haven't visited it and you're in the LA area, dial 800.

Speaker 6:
[25:52] Got to get high.

Speaker 4:
[25:58] Dial 800 fucked up.

Speaker 5:
[26:02] But it is, it is.

Speaker 4:
[26:03] It is amazing. I mean, there's no pot store like this, where the front is beautiful, like a pot store. And then there's this all this jungle in the back of all these cabanas and the fucking bird. I mean, bird is, you mad men have a bird? I don't think so. We have a bird.

Speaker 5:
[26:25] Yeah. We got Parrots, McCall. We got the whole dilly dally.

Speaker 4:
[26:31] And, you know, we're here smoking a lot. Wouldn't you want to be in a place where this good smoke vibe, you know, I mean, it's like you go to the zoo, you might see the polar bear. Or maybe the polar bear is not there that day because he's making a movie in Malta. Or maybe the polar bear is just sleeping in the back. But there's a chance you'll see the polar bear.

Speaker 5:
[26:58] I mean, but there's no other, you know, dispensary or a place like this you're going to go to. And you're going to see koi fish, you know, and you're going to see macaws. You're going to see, you know, the greenery, the fauna, the vibe. Like to me, you know, I just wanted, and that's why I wanted you to be a part of it, because I just wanted to have what I consider to be the most, the greatest dispensary in the world, that you would love to just sit down and get high at this place.

Speaker 4:
[27:28] Yes. It is really quite a black mark on our records that we've marketed it so badly.

Speaker 5:
[27:36] Well, that's my fault.

Speaker 4:
[27:38] It's my fault, too, and we're rectifying it now.

Speaker 5:
[27:41] We're rectifying it, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[27:42] Oh, we are going to rectify the out of this.

Speaker 5:
[27:44] We're going to rectify this whole thing.

Speaker 6:
[27:47] Yes, we are.

Speaker 4:
[27:51] The rectum of this situation has been destroyed in rectification, because enough is enough. And it's, no, I do it for the people, because I feel if the people haven't experienced this, they're missing out. It's all about, I know you're the man of the people. The people love you. You'll always be that guy from Cheers who, you know, good old Woody and, you know, you can slide on anything because you're just, you know, you're good old Woody.

Speaker 5:
[28:23] Yeah, just skip the past, skip the past. But, I don't know, I kind of more admire your thing, dude, because you are just so fearless, you know, the stuff you say, the stuff you do, I gotta say. And I don't always agree with you. As we know, we do fight on some things, but by God, man, you just say what you feel. And honestly, it's not that I don't do that, but I don't do it like you, you know, like, I, you, you, you say stuff that I'm like, whole, oh, God bless Bill Maher, God bless Bill Maher.

Speaker 9:
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Speaker 4:
[29:49] I live alone. All my energy goes toward healing America. I don't have time for a social life. Women, I would love to have had a pass with women, but I just passed on the whole thing so I could help America. That's what was important to me, helping America.

Speaker 5:
[30:05] It's nice that you're healing. Was not interfered with by terrible distractions like women. You're just doing the right thing. Focusing on America, you're a healer. You're like a surgeon.

Speaker 4:
[30:20] If only I could have had all the romances you have, your roster.

Speaker 5:
[30:28] I love to see this aspect of your nation, the jealousy.

Speaker 6:
[30:33] It's him doing.

Speaker 4:
[30:35] No, you think jealousy on my part, it's just weird and it's on your part. I must say, always your top guys, Bert, are like the ones like you, like who don't like shoes, like Owen and McConaughey.

Speaker 5:
[30:54] Texans?

Speaker 4:
[30:56] Barefoot. It's a whole different category.

Speaker 5:
[31:02] It's true. I mean, I love those guys.

Speaker 4:
[31:04] You showed up at my house with Barefoot. No. I mean, just showing up at my house is another issue. Huckleberry, like, hey, can we go paint a fence today?

Speaker 5:
[31:20] You have a little bit of that curmudgeon thing where you're like, is this cocksucker in my fucking house?

Speaker 7:
[31:26] Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 5:
[31:27] And I was like, oh, it's Sunday. There's no one around. I'm just coming to say hi, smoke a joint and get out of your hair.

Speaker 6:
[31:34] What the fuck?

Speaker 5:
[31:35] What the belligerents? It's like, I like my own time.

Speaker 4:
[31:40] I love that about you, that you're still living in Indiana in 1965. It's true. I do. I love that. We all would be so much better off if we were. Well, not all of us. Just the white people. That's true. You can't ever say that there were things that were better in that era, but they will always be compromised because we didn't include everybody in them.

Speaker 5:
[32:04] And are we now?

Speaker 4:
[32:05] So much better, but still that issue, of course.

Speaker 5:
[32:10] We're not going to talk about where the nation's headed?

Speaker 4:
[32:13] No. No. That's the great thing about relaxing with a marijuana cigarette, if you will, jazz cigarette. As the more sophisticated of us called it when we used to go out at Catalina. Oh. Sorry. You don't ever clip off the end where it's like dirty like that, so you're not smoking ash? I always have a scissor.

Speaker 5:
[32:44] Yeah, I saw you doing that.

Speaker 4:
[32:45] Yeah, yeah. I always circumcised it before.

Speaker 5:
[32:48] There's something about that. I kind of liked it. It just felt like cleaner, you know?

Speaker 4:
[32:52] Cleaner when you did that, not when you...

Speaker 5:
[32:54] Yeah, when you did that.

Speaker 4:
[32:55] Well, of course, because I cut off that part that...

Speaker 5:
[32:57] Yeah, it just sounded like a brand-new joint.

Speaker 4:
[33:00] Right. Yeah, that's not... That's not a hard concept for you stoners here on my YouTube channel as we're learning how to smoke a joint. Get a scissor. And before you do, you know, do something where you tell everyone in the world that you know that you like scissors, because that's really important. Like, like, okay, and cut the end off, but we don't have the scissor.

Speaker 5:
[33:30] Right here, dude.

Speaker 4:
[33:31] Oh. Oh, man.

Speaker 5:
[33:33] You're achieving pure... You're into a pure stoner state. You're cutting that thing in half. Start around the black part.

Speaker 4:
[33:42] Well, I am.

Speaker 5:
[33:45] Okay, good. Here we go.

Speaker 4:
[33:46] What, it's gonna upset you back?

Speaker 5:
[33:48] Well, you know, waste not want not.

Speaker 4:
[33:51] I'll do it.

Speaker 5:
[33:51] You do it, sir. Did you think that was too gay if you were to lean in like this?

Speaker 4:
[33:58] No.

Speaker 5:
[33:59] What is your homophobia? So I have male friends, I have male friends, and I'm boyfriend. You know what I'm saying? Why do you have this crazy homophobia? I'm sorry to your public that they have to deal with your homophobia.

Speaker 4:
[34:15] I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying it is. You're a unique kind of friend. I mean, look, which one of us looks more gay today? Me. I look good. You look like a blind hippie who got dressed in the Goodwill store. I look good. I look gay.

Speaker 11:
[34:34] Look at this sweater.

Speaker 4:
[34:36] Look at those pants.

Speaker 8:
[34:36] Look at these fancy pants.

Speaker 4:
[34:38] Oh, those are fancy.

Speaker 8:
[34:39] Fancy pants.

Speaker 4:
[34:40] I thought they were pajamas.

Speaker 5:
[34:41] Oh, dude.

Speaker 4:
[34:42] Am I wrong?

Speaker 5:
[34:42] Yeah, actually, I think pajamas is the best way to go through life.

Speaker 4:
[34:46] I mean, you tend to dress in that hippie, very, well, also in very natural fabrics.

Speaker 5:
[34:55] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[34:55] You know.

Speaker 5:
[34:56] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[34:57] You know. No pinky rings. You know. Actually, no rings. Yeah. Nothing too vagacy.

Speaker 5:
[35:07] Nothing vagacy.

Speaker 4:
[35:08] Do you have one of these, those aura rings that...

Speaker 5:
[35:11] Oh, it changes color depending on your mood or...

Speaker 6:
[35:16] That's a mood ring, fool. Oh.

Speaker 4:
[35:19] All right.

Speaker 6:
[35:19] It's not... Well, what's that do?

Speaker 4:
[35:24] Well, I'll tell you what it does, Clem. What it does is it...

Speaker 8:
[35:27] Hey, what the does that thing do?

Speaker 4:
[35:30] It somehow looks inside my body when I'm sleeping. And it tells me, like, when I fell asleep, how good I was sleeping. And when I wake up the next day, I look at it, I go, wow, yeah, that's what I figured. I got a good night's sleep.

Speaker 5:
[35:49] I got to get more sleep.

Speaker 4:
[35:51] I didn't get a good night's sleep, and there's the proof. That's why I'm so mad at you, woman. I didn't get sleep, but here it is.

Speaker 5:
[35:59] You do Southern really well. I'm proud of you. Now, let me ask you a question. That ring, is that one of those rings that says, okay, you had X amount of sleep, you woke up this number of times, and then that's a valuable thing. Oh, I agree.

Speaker 4:
[36:13] That's why I'm doing it.

Speaker 5:
[36:14] I haven't got one yet. I want to do it, but how does it even, I mean, what's the-

Speaker 4:
[36:23] We will never know that. How does it do it? That's not our area. You would have to have degrees in biology and physics and chemistry.

Speaker 5:
[36:31] You must be, your heartbeat changes. Your heartbeat changes when you're in deep sleep, and it must be gauging the heartbeat.

Speaker 4:
[36:43] We are conjecture about how it does. And it would only be comedy fodder for every truly scientifically educated person to like, look what those two idiots thought was how the...

Speaker 5:
[36:57] 45 scientists just said, this fucking idiot, oh yeah, the heartbeat.

Speaker 6:
[37:01] This show business doormats think this works because... Why would you even think that?

Speaker 5:
[37:07] Oh, my God.

Speaker 4:
[37:09] No, I mean, we cannot know, we cannot know things. We cannot know as much as we can.

Speaker 6:
[37:17] We cannot.

Speaker 4:
[37:17] It's faith.

Speaker 6:
[37:18] It's not really that different than Christianity.

Speaker 4:
[37:21] I just believe it. But it's true. I fucking have no way to check this. Every morning, I'm like, what does the oracle say? Oh, and it's like, I wouldn't mind if it didn't have to like write me a note that you were trying to like, we're just getting...

Speaker 5:
[37:43] What's it say?

Speaker 4:
[37:45] You know, oh, I guess you didn't get such great sleep last night. Don't worry about it. Tomorrow will be better. It's like, fuck off.

Speaker 5:
[37:53] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[37:53] You know, everything is just so treating me like I'm a very delicate flower. Like I'm a piece of china that...

Speaker 5:
[38:06] Just tell me straight.

Speaker 4:
[38:07] It's just my night's sleep.

Speaker 6:
[38:09] I can take it. Jimmy, do me a straight duck.

Speaker 4:
[38:15] You woke up in the middle of the night.

Speaker 5:
[38:17] So what? How is your... What is your sleep usually?

Speaker 4:
[38:22] I mean, it's a bit of a struggle.

Speaker 5:
[38:25] Because your mind's always going.

Speaker 4:
[38:27] Because it's... First of all, as you age, that's everybody, pretty much.

Speaker 5:
[38:31] Well, you mean as you age, you sleep?

Speaker 4:
[38:33] It gets harder to sleep. You have not found that?

Speaker 5:
[38:36] Just like, yeah, no, I've found that. But I'm trying to verify. That's like a general thing that happens as you get up.

Speaker 4:
[38:43] Absolutely.

Speaker 5:
[38:44] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[38:45] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[38:45] Every night I wake up. And I'm up for probably two, three hours. And I read.

Speaker 4:
[38:52] So when you wake up in the middle of the night, you get up.

Speaker 5:
[38:55] No, I don't get up, but I just grab my book and I read.

Speaker 4:
[38:58] But you fully react.

Speaker 5:
[39:00] Yeah, I fully, I just, I'm, I know, well, no, I give it a little while and I see, am I going to go? No, and I'm not. Okay. I'm going to start reading.

Speaker 4:
[39:09] Wow.

Speaker 5:
[39:10] And I've been on a Dickens kick. I'm, I'm fucking so infatuated with Charles Dickens. I love Charles Dickens. I've read, I started earlier this year. I read a biography about him. And then I said, you know what, how much, I don't think I've read it. Maybe I've read Christmas Care. I don't know what I've read of Dickens. And then I started on...

Speaker 4:
[39:34] Great Expectations.

Speaker 5:
[39:35] No, David, David Copperfield. And then, you know, Great Expectations, Tale of Two Cities. I'm reading now... Well, I read, I read Little Door.

Speaker 4:
[39:52] You'd be good in a Dickens movie. Of course you are.

Speaker 5:
[39:54] Oh, I would love to do a Dickens movie.

Speaker 4:
[39:56] Older now, so you'll have to play Mr. Twombly. Yeah. You can't exactly be Oliver Twilty, boy begging for more food.

Speaker 5:
[40:07] You hit me right in the solar plexus with that one, didn't you?

Speaker 4:
[40:10] Wait, I got it.

Speaker 5:
[40:11] Congratulations.

Speaker 4:
[40:12] If you like Bad Grandpa, Bad Dickens.

Speaker 5:
[40:18] I realize the book that I was trying to think of went right out of my mind. Literally, I'm 500-something pages into this book, and I had trouble remembering. Yeah, it's the old curiosity shop, and it is amazing. Because you know he wrote serially, right? So every month, he's putting in another chapter, and that's not changing after it comes out.

Speaker 4:
[40:46] Serially, which is really a horrible word to have to pronounce, but he wrote in serials to the point where they were like knocking on the door. Mr. Dickens, because they were published weekly in a paper, so people followed it in the paper, and they needed it. We're going to press, and we need the next chapter. Each week was a chapter, and he'd be finishing it up just as they were knocking on his door to get the transcript to put in the paper.

Speaker 5:
[41:17] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[41:18] So that's how the book was written.

Speaker 5:
[41:19] This is the level of genius. He's the Shakespeare pros to me.

Speaker 4:
[41:23] It says something about working under pressure.

Speaker 5:
[41:25] Well, it does, but also...

Speaker 4:
[41:27] Some people, it does make them better.

Speaker 5:
[41:28] But what's amazing is the fact that he could... Because he has very intricate plots with this character. You find out in the first chapter, it doesn't really pay off to the 15th chapter. Like all the stuff that he has to work out before he starts on that first one. Okay, I got that one done. Now I go to the next one. And then sometimes he'd have two going at the same time and he'd be putting on little theater performances with his kids at home and he'd be, you know, just such a massive amount of creative output. Like, you know, he was the Beatles of his era.

Speaker 4:
[42:07] What was his personal life?

Speaker 5:
[42:08] In terms of his creativity.

Speaker 4:
[42:10] What was his personal life like?

Speaker 5:
[42:12] He had a wild personal life because he had a wife he was with like 40 years and they had like 10 kids. And then he fell in love when he was like, maybe 50 or something, a young man. Yeah, relatively young man, he ran, fell in love with this 18 year old girl.

Speaker 4:
[42:31] You know, there are 25 year olds going, these assholes think 50 is young.

Speaker 5:
[42:37] Right. Well, I wasn't trying to say he was young, but I was just trying to say, because I think he died at 58 or something, or maybe younger, 52.

Speaker 4:
[42:45] Okay, so we're the same woman.

Speaker 5:
[42:47] He fell in love with this 18 year old girl. He kicks his wife of 30 years to the curb, and then he, but by the way, none of this is actually 100% known. There's only conjecture, but all the evidence leads us to believe that this girl went to France and had her stay there, you know, when she's becoming more and more obvious. And then there was trouble in the birth, the baby died. But he'd already kicked his wife to the curb, and any of his kids who talked to his wife, I'm not talking to you anymore. Like, he got weird at the end.

Speaker 4:
[43:31] Did he get with the 18-year-old after they lost the baby?

Speaker 5:
[43:35] I think they still, they were together, but it was never publicly, it was all, everybody was talking about it.

Speaker 4:
[43:42] Maybe it was just like a situationship, you know, like, when I'm working on a new book, I'm not gonna have time for you, okay? Okay, I'm Charles Dickens, bitch. So, you know, when I'm there, I'm there, okay? But I'm kind of a big deal in the literary world.

Speaker 5:
[44:01] The biggest?

Speaker 4:
[44:02] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[44:03] No, but can you imagine, like, that, maybe that's how we talked.

Speaker 4:
[44:08] Have you cracked great expectations?

Speaker 5:
[44:11] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[44:12] Oh, you have?

Speaker 5:
[44:13] It's just a masterpiece. It's, it's, that might be my, well, I don't know. There's, they're all so great. And I read, you know, the Pickwick papers. Man, I think I've read probably 10 of his books, you know? And I got the next one, you know, queued up.

Speaker 4:
[44:33] So what is it, like, if you had to say to somebody, like, quickly, like, what is it that gets you so much about them?

Speaker 5:
[44:41] Well, I mean, this guy packs more in one sentence than anyone ever did. I mean, it's just more, you know, emotional impact and value and descriptive genius, like, the way he could describe things and people and differentiate between the characters and get you excited about the... And the plots are so... You're just on the edge of your seat with a book.

Speaker 4:
[45:08] You want to know... I know. A book. What is this book? I mean, we're very close to that. Where...

Speaker 5:
[45:16] Well, where there'll be no books anymore.

Speaker 4:
[45:18] Well, I mean, a large part of the population reads zero.

Speaker 5:
[45:24] Just listens to it.

Speaker 4:
[45:27] To have a book is something that's very alien to them. And they're not even shy about making jokes about it. They're like a book. They're just, they're just, they do... They are not the generation that has that kind of attention span. They were raised on phones and shit, and it's just not gonna happen. So there'll always be 10, 20% of people who will be into everything a little, you know, of more intellectually nutritious value. But most people, like a book is just not something, maybe, you know, kind of a self-help book or some, you know, picture book.

Speaker 5:
[46:06] So you think most people don't really just read?

Speaker 4:
[46:10] People are beyond it.

Speaker 5:
[46:13] You'd say more than 50% of the population.

Speaker 4:
[46:16] You know how I know? I love this guy. I don't know him well, but we started to be friends. He's a comic, Nate Bragazzi. He's huge now.

Speaker 5:
[46:25] Oh, yeah. Very handsome young guy. Yeah. One of your boyfriends, huh? You never talk about your fucking boyfriends. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Very funny. Very cute.

Speaker 4:
[46:42] Okay. We'll be right back. Now, no, but I see what you're saying. He did this bit I saw on Saturday Night Live. I never seen it before. And it was all about books and how preposterous it was. You know, so many words and you, can't we have a break where I get to a page where there's nothing on it? You know, and the crowd was loving it. And that's when I said, okay, this is very relatable to, you know, who's in the crowd at SNL. You've hosted it. It's young people, mostly 20s, 30s. And to them, that's very relatable. Yeah, a book is just too thick, too many words. Just, you know, I scroll. I don't read. I scroll. That's, this is the scrolling. You know, and that's just how it, you know, history, history unfold. That's how it has unfolded. We now, what do we do? How do we deal with it? That's the question now. How do we deal with it? How do we deal with AI.? What are your thoughts on AI., Woody Harrelson?

Speaker 5:
[47:48] I don't know how to even, you know, you know, expose myself to that subject while I'm in such a deep level of sadness at what you just told me. Like the thought that people don't read and that that's a thing of the past.

Speaker 4:
[48:07] It is.

Speaker 5:
[48:07] That really, it's such a big part of my life. I literally, I read many times a day. Like I read in the night a couple of times.

Speaker 4:
[48:16] I do too.

Speaker 5:
[48:16] You know, I'm constantly, first thing in the morning. Like if I, the thought of not reading is like weird.

Speaker 4:
[48:23] Yeah, me too. I know. We're old. That's what we do.

Speaker 5:
[48:26] But that's an old thing. Reading is an old thing.

Speaker 4:
[48:29] That's what I'm trying to tell you. That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 5:
[48:32] That's what I'm getting. That's what I'm getting.

Speaker 4:
[48:34] That's an old thing. Just like you saw Chalamet got in all that trouble because he said opera and ballet. I don't want movies to become like opera and ballet where it's just a very small group of people who go, and they got all this shit. You must know this.

Speaker 5:
[48:49] I heard about that, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[48:50] You heard about it?

Speaker 5:
[48:51] Yeah. I mean, I just heard briefly. I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[48:57] So, I would defend them. First of all, do we have to pick apart every fucking thing? No, we don't have to, but everyone does, and it's not untrue. I mean, ballet, do you go to the ballet? I don't. Do you go to the opera? I don't. A select small group of people still love it. Fantastic, you go. And by the way, you pay for it, because you can get a lot of money for things like symphony orchestras, because that's the arts, and the arts are good, and good people give to good causes, and that is good. I don't think it's good when we give money to fucking rich. That's something you're watching in Tuxedos, and you're like, subsidizing this?

Speaker 5:
[49:43] No.

Speaker 7:
[49:44] Okay. Fuck you.

Speaker 5:
[49:46] No. You know, you really have made cynicism the ultimate humor. Like, you made it. It's beautiful. What is it? I love that you can be cynical, but so funny at the same time.

Speaker 4:
[49:59] Oh, thank you. I love you, too. What were we talking about?

Speaker 5:
[50:04] The arts.

Speaker 4:
[50:05] Oh, yeah, the arts.

Speaker 5:
[50:05] Get the ballad. We're up, dude.

Speaker 4:
[50:07] Oh, good. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[50:08] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[50:09] The arts.

Speaker 5:
[50:09] I realize now we're up.

Speaker 4:
[50:11] Ballet and opera. And you know, I'm sure they're both very beautiful. But you know, not my taste. I was raised middle class, and then you're a fucking hillbilly. I mean, this is really far, this is really far afield from you. I mean, I at least knew what the opera was. You thought it was the grand old opera. So, but the arts.

Speaker 5:
[50:41] Oh, you son of a bitch.

Speaker 4:
[50:42] What was it about? What are we talking about? Oh, ballet and opera.

Speaker 5:
[50:47] We're talking about what a fucking hick I am. I'm happy. I'm gonna accept it.

Speaker 4:
[50:53] I love, I love hicks.

Speaker 5:
[50:54] I'm poor white trash and I'm happy and proud of it.

Speaker 4:
[50:58] People are so mad.

Speaker 5:
[50:59] I don't think my mother would like to hear me say that, but.

Speaker 4:
[51:01] People are so mad at me because Kid Rock is my friend. Fuck you. I'll be as friends with whoever I want. Yeah. You know, we have to stop this fucking.

Speaker 5:
[51:41] Monica Boulevard. Anyway, that was a siren.

Speaker 4:
[51:44] Doing, by the way, what so many people want to do is like, go to some place. We don't even have pot. We can buy it right there. And then go and chill out in some place where you feel safe.

Speaker 5:
[51:59] Sit right here in the Ganja Gable Garden, the most beautiful place. I mean, look at these people. These people love this place.

Speaker 4:
[52:05] Yeah, I walked in today and I said, Oh, wow, business is good.

Speaker 5:
[52:09] Yeah, it's slowly picking up. But I tell you what, there's nothing we can do when the government is charging 35 percent. Like, they can't, they can't tax us 35 percent. Well, it's not right.

Speaker 4:
[52:24] I believe Governor Newsom is, I don't do drugs, but.

Speaker 5:
[52:30] All the kids are doing it.

Speaker 4:
[52:32] I suppose I could try it once. What do you just, you suck in?

Speaker 6:
[52:38] Is that? It's like.

Speaker 4:
[52:47] Is that right? Or is it more of a, is it more of a draw? Would you describe it as a draw?

Speaker 5:
[53:04] By God, that was sexy.

Speaker 4:
[53:06] Smooth, refreshing flavor. Even the bird likes it. You think these birds can do this?

Speaker 8:
[53:19] These poor people.

Speaker 6:
[53:21] You think this bird is high? High as... Setting their all-day love, these folks coming right into the...

Speaker 4:
[53:31] Is that a bad thing?

Speaker 5:
[53:32] I think it's great. Wouldn't you want to be high if you were a bird? By the way, not a bird that's flying off into, you know, freedom.

Speaker 4:
[53:40] Is he in a cage?

Speaker 5:
[53:43] Well, no, they take him out.

Speaker 4:
[53:45] They take him out.

Speaker 5:
[53:47] That's true. They don't fly away. They don't fly away.

Speaker 4:
[53:51] Is there food here?

Speaker 5:
[53:53] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[53:55] Food?

Speaker 5:
[53:55] Are you hungry?

Speaker 4:
[53:56] No, I don't mean for us personally. I mean, we're talking about the birds. No, for the people.

Speaker 6:
[54:05] For the people.

Speaker 5:
[54:07] Let him eat cake.

Speaker 4:
[54:10] And then the people can give to the birds whatever they want.

Speaker 5:
[54:13] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[54:14] This is why I'm saying you're not good at business.

Speaker 6:
[54:17] You were giving the food to the birds first.

Speaker 4:
[54:20] And then what they didn't want went to the people. And I said, no, that's a bad business model.

Speaker 6:
[54:28] Give the food to the people first. And then give to the birds what they don't want. We fought about it.

Speaker 4:
[54:40] Oh, oh, we punched each other.

Speaker 8:
[54:48] Oh my God.

Speaker 6:
[54:52] Oh boy.

Speaker 5:
[54:55] Isn't that smart, they put those there? Yeah.

Speaker 8:
[55:01] They knew eventually we'll be wiping our eyes.

Speaker 4:
[55:06] Well, I think it's a good thing that people will see that marijuana doesn't hurt you.

Speaker 5:
[55:16] Doesn't affect you ill.

Speaker 4:
[55:18] Doesn't affect you ill is a really great way to say it.

Speaker 5:
[55:21] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[55:22] It's very Dickinsonian, if I may. It's like maybe you lift it.

Speaker 5:
[55:28] By the way, I've tried to kill myself with marijuana. I've tried. You can't kill yourself.

Speaker 4:
[55:36] No.

Speaker 5:
[55:37] You try as hard as you can. Now, cigarettes, you could do it. Alcohol, every other drug. So, there's some positives.

Speaker 4:
[55:46] So, how are you going to transit this Dickens love into like working on something Dickinsonian?

Speaker 5:
[55:57] Oh, I love that idea. I don't know if they ever did the old Curiosity Shop. Do you know if they did that?

Speaker 4:
[56:03] I don't know that one.

Speaker 5:
[56:05] Yeah, and it's not widely known, I think.

Speaker 4:
[56:08] It's not widely known by me.

Speaker 5:
[56:09] The question is, okay, one of those people downstairs is going to look up, okay, have they done the old Curiosity Shop as a movie? But by the way, I think it should be a series because you could, a limited series, but you could, in 10 episodes, you could make something.

Speaker 4:
[56:27] What's it about? Why is it good?

Speaker 5:
[56:30] Well, it's just about a girl named Nell, Little Nell, who, a child still.

Speaker 4:
[56:39] I heard of her.

Speaker 5:
[56:40] And her grandfather, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[56:42] I've heard of Little Nell. What? No, I didn't know it was from this book. Did. What?

Speaker 5:
[56:49] Did. Oh, okay. You have a real little name.

Speaker 4:
[56:52] Yeah, I've heard of that name.

Speaker 5:
[56:53] I thought you were.

Speaker 4:
[56:54] I've heard of the character, but I didn't know.

Speaker 5:
[56:55] I thought it was like a euphemism for. No. I see my Little Nell. I thought that is even beneath you, even you.

Speaker 11:
[57:06] So you're saying with Hilton Honors, I can use points for a free night's day anywhere? Anywhere. What about fancy places like the Canopy in Paris? Yeah, Hilton Honors, baby. Or relaxing sanctuaries like the Conrad and Tulum?

Speaker 1:
[57:20] Hilton Honors, baby.

Speaker 11:
[57:22] What about the five-star Waldorf Astoria in the Maldives? Are you going to do this for all 9,000 properties?

Speaker 12:
[57:28] When you want points that can take you anywhere, anytime, it matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. Book your spring break now.

Speaker 13:
[57:38] Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in a crowd. But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back. Priceline is here to help you make it happen. With millions of deals on flights, hotels and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com. Actual prices may vary. Limited time offer.

Speaker 14:
[58:07] K-Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi?

Speaker 9:
[58:16] It's not a battle.

Speaker 12:
[58:17] So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.

Speaker 13:
[58:21] It is an honor to share.

Speaker 14:
[58:23] No, it's our honor.

Speaker 10:
[58:24] It is our larger honor.

Speaker 9:
[58:26] No, really, stop.

Speaker 14:
[58:28] You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

Speaker 9:
[58:35] I participated in McDonald's While Supplies Last.

Speaker 5:
[58:37] Tell me about your role now.

Speaker 4:
[58:40] I've heard about the character. I didn't know it was from this book. So who is she?

Speaker 5:
[58:46] She's just a child, really. But she cares so much for her grandfather and she does everything she can for him.

Speaker 4:
[58:54] It's okay.

Speaker 5:
[58:57] This fucking guy gave you a break. By the way, I always know what you're thinking before you think it.

Speaker 8:
[59:09] Every time.

Speaker 5:
[59:11] Every time.

Speaker 4:
[59:13] Well, then you should do detective work on CBS. There's no shame in it, by the way. Although, they all want to be true detective. That was really... the one you did with your boyfriend was really great.

Speaker 5:
[59:28] Thanks.

Speaker 4:
[59:29] The one you think is your brother.

Speaker 5:
[59:30] You know, we've done another one called Brothers.

Speaker 4:
[59:34] Oh, yes.

Speaker 5:
[59:35] Yeah. It's coming out in September.

Speaker 4:
[59:38] I know. But you think he's your real brother.

Speaker 5:
[59:44] Yeah. I think he might be. You want me to... have I told... I've told you why, of course.

Speaker 4:
[59:50] I mean, it fascinates me, because you don't look anything alike. No, I mean, I mean, you're both, you know, nice-looking, or Caucasian.

Speaker 5:
[60:00] What do you mean we don't look anything alike? Are you just focusing on the one, on the follicle issue?

Speaker 4:
[60:08] No, no, no, no, no. No, I just, I just see you don't look like brothers.

Speaker 5:
[60:13] Really?

Speaker 4:
[60:14] No, but it could be. But boy.

Speaker 5:
[60:17] Oh, I wish the wife he was here, she could show you a little thing that's at the beginning.

Speaker 4:
[60:23] Did I ever tell you, I think George Clooney is my dad. No, I mean, anything could be. What are the chances of two such giant talents in one family?

Speaker 5:
[60:42] Do you want?

Speaker 4:
[60:43] Yeah, a little more.

Speaker 5:
[60:45] Yeah. How about a little above? Let me just make this for you. Set it down.

Speaker 4:
[60:49] No, no, no.

Speaker 5:
[60:53] I'll let you do that. I know you're a germaphobe.

Speaker 4:
[60:57] I'm not a germaphobe. Who gave you that idea?

Speaker 5:
[61:00] You and Steven Wright.

Speaker 4:
[61:02] Steven Wright? What? What do you mean lumping movie? About what? I don't get it.

Speaker 5:
[61:09] You and- Steven Wright? What's his name? The comedian, very big.

Speaker 4:
[61:13] Steven Wright?

Speaker 5:
[61:15] No. But I mean he's big, his movements, he's a germaphobe. Oh, Howie Mandel. Howie Mandel.

Speaker 4:
[61:23] Howie's a great guy. Howie's sister. Is he?

Speaker 5:
[61:26] I've never- I think I met- what's he like?

Speaker 4:
[61:29] He's the best. We should have dinner all three of us. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[61:33] I'd love to.

Speaker 4:
[61:34] I know. Another guy.

Speaker 5:
[61:35] He's funny, man. I got to see him live before, but I never met him.

Speaker 4:
[61:44] Everybody loves Howie. He's one of those- he's like you. He's one of those types.

Speaker 5:
[61:51] What does that mean?

Speaker 4:
[61:53] You know me, I'm jealous of your-

Speaker 5:
[61:57] Finally.

Speaker 6:
[61:58] Dude, this is good.

Speaker 4:
[61:59] Every fucking thing I say.

Speaker 5:
[62:00] Get this out.

Speaker 4:
[62:01] People like shit on it and attack me, but because you're a quote on what movie star.

Speaker 6:
[62:09] Oh, I see.

Speaker 4:
[62:11] I skate. You skate.

Speaker 5:
[62:15] I thought I got well attacked for what happened back at the SNL thing. Got pretty attacked.

Speaker 4:
[62:22] Everybody loves Woody. Woody's the guy from Cheers we all love, and he's just always good old Woody. You should, you know what? You should play more of that, like Hannibal.

Speaker 5:
[62:36] You mean like Psycho?

Speaker 4:
[62:37] I just, Bad Guys.

Speaker 5:
[62:40] I think I played a lot of Bad Guys. Did you ever see Out of the Furnace?

Speaker 4:
[62:47] Bad Guys, that's the movie I was about to reference.

Speaker 5:
[62:49] Oh.

Speaker 4:
[62:50] I've talked to you about it before. You forgot.

Speaker 5:
[62:52] I did. Okay, I'm owning it.

Speaker 4:
[62:59] That was a great performance. As opposed to the guy who can't help but love, that character is despicable, it's awful, it's terrible. It's more the real Woody I know.

Speaker 5:
[63:22] That's true. We've had a few terse moments, you and I, but that's friendship.

Speaker 4:
[63:29] That's so exactly.

Speaker 5:
[63:30] How long have I known you? 30-something years?

Speaker 4:
[63:33] I don't know. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 5:
[63:34] At least 30-something. No, I've known you at least since 1990, so that's 36 years.

Speaker 4:
[63:42] Well, that's impossible because I'm 41. So believe what you want to believe. I identify as someone who's 41. Why not? If you can do it with everything else. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[63:58] I identify as 41.

Speaker 4:
[64:01] I don't feel that different.

Speaker 5:
[64:02] Right.

Speaker 4:
[64:03] When we were 41, what were we doing? This, this exact thing.

Speaker 5:
[64:09] Well, you know what? Everything would be cool if it wasn't for the road map above the neck. That's where you start to see little telltale signs of aging. Like your body, you could never know. If you look from your feet up, but once you get to the neck, this guy's older than 41.

Speaker 4:
[64:32] It's weird, but maybe I'm a few years older. But no, I think it's not just, I know what you were saying, but no, you do look somewhat different. You're in all the parts of your body. You know what, the one part of your body that if you took a picture of it, like 40 years ago and yesterday, I couldn't tell the difference?

Speaker 5:
[64:56] What?

Speaker 4:
[64:57] My dick.

Speaker 5:
[64:58] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[65:01] I'm not kidding. It looks the same. Doesn't yours? I mean...

Speaker 8:
[65:08] I don't think you can.

Speaker 4:
[65:10] What?

Speaker 8:
[65:10] I should have known.

Speaker 4:
[65:11] But it's true. It's true. It doesn't look different.

Speaker 5:
[65:16] I'm thinking, what is it? The elbow? Maybe it's like the armpit? You know, like my dick.

Speaker 4:
[65:26] It's true. Because every other part, like maybe I'm 70 or a few years younger, maybe, I think you'll start to think very soon that it's not. Yeah. For a while, it's just the neck. And it's, you know, you will just see, wow, that didn't used to look like that or whatever it is. And it's just part of it. You know, I just thank Jesus, as I do for everything, that He's allowed me to, at 70, still basically live the life I've always lived.

Speaker 5:
[66:01] Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus, for helping him.

Speaker 4:
[66:08] As you do.

Speaker 5:
[66:09] You know. But by the way, what are the most important components of health?

Speaker 4:
[66:14] Most important. Okay. Here's what I found.

Speaker 5:
[66:18] Yeah. You're healthy.

Speaker 4:
[66:21] Yeah. I mean, I feel, yeah. I mean, look, I've lived rough, I think a little bit.

Speaker 5:
[66:30] That's a nice euphemism for what you've lived.

Speaker 4:
[66:34] Well, I mean, what I'm saying is, I use my body like a car, taking me both near and far. It's a lyric from a George Harrison song, not one of his greater ones, but lyrically anyway. But I did, I use my body like a car. When my body allowed me to have 35 drinks a week, I used to do it. I could function and do that. My body would never allow that now.

Speaker 5:
[67:01] Is that five a night?

Speaker 4:
[67:03] It probably works out to that. Yeah. Might be eight one night, eight another night.

Speaker 5:
[67:10] Honey, what's going to happen to us?

Speaker 4:
[67:12] Why? Did you do that too?

Speaker 5:
[67:15] I'm still... I don't think... Well, honey, what's the night?

Speaker 4:
[67:21] I've had...

Speaker 8:
[67:21] Give me the figures, lovey.

Speaker 4:
[67:23] What? Yeah, you may be made of sterner stuff than me, though.

Speaker 5:
[67:30] No, I'm not. I honestly... I don't like to... I don't... I love drinking. I love drinking and I love smoking.

Speaker 4:
[67:41] I love drinking, too. I love drinking and smoking together.

Speaker 5:
[67:45] Me, too.

Speaker 4:
[67:45] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[67:46] You know what it is? It's because it's a nice balance. There's a little yin-yang in that.

Speaker 4:
[67:51] Well, what it is is they're drugs and we're drug addicts. We're drug addicts getting good drugs that are synergistically making better drugs. And that's as close as I can get to it. Again, it's one of those things we cannot, we're not the scientists. We are just, we disbelieve whatever they tell us. I mean, are you following the controversy of how much a fucking ask-us-or-chat GPT is?

Speaker 5:
[68:20] How do you mean?

Speaker 4:
[68:22] Are you on ChatGPT?

Speaker 5:
[68:23] No. You know I don't have a phone, right?

Speaker 6:
[68:27] Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 4:
[68:30] Anyway, I sent you, I sent you a telegram about this for God's sake. Don't you read my telegrams? I find it personally insulting.

Speaker 5:
[68:48] Your Morse code efficiency, I love it.

Speaker 4:
[68:50] I have a little monitor on my desk in my office. It tells me what the air quality is in the house but also outside. Sometimes they're very different. Like you know, it's a-

Speaker 5:
[69:08] Is it usually better in the house or out?

Speaker 4:
[69:12] Unfortunately, we live in LA and no, I mean, many days it's like, you know, if it's good, it's the face and the thing is green and he's smiling. And if it's, you know, orangey, you know, it's like bad. And then there's a red.

Speaker 5:
[69:29] Just a shirt.

Speaker 4:
[69:31] When you smoke pot in the room, you get the red angry.

Speaker 5:
[69:40] He wants to get a lot of the red. Like, where's this again?

Speaker 6:
[69:46] This thing does not like fun.

Speaker 1:
[69:51] It really doesn't.

Speaker 5:
[69:54] Jesus, you're back. Yeah, I just heard you were back last time I did this.

Speaker 4:
[70:02] But listen, it says, like, you're looking, it also has, like, a little crawl there. It says, congratulations, you've achieved excellent air quality.

Speaker 6:
[70:13] It's congratulating me on the air, which I feel. I got no responsibility. I made a small contribution, but I didn't want it to.

Speaker 4:
[70:32] I took all the credit.

Speaker 5:
[70:35] So I didn't fire one up in the last fun. I get a little pat on the back.

Speaker 4:
[70:42] Oh, maybe it was mostly me. You know, I...

Speaker 5:
[70:48] All the lean does.

Speaker 6:
[70:51] I closed that window. That was a big part of it.

Speaker 5:
[71:01] Yeah, dude, I love seeing you when you get nicely baked. It's perfect.

Speaker 4:
[71:07] I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 5:
[71:09] Well, no, no, of course not.

Speaker 6:
[71:10] I don't do drugs.

Speaker 5:
[71:11] What am I? Far-fetched is what that was.

Speaker 4:
[71:17] I fake it for the camera like Dean Martin used to pretend to be drinking. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[71:22] He was drinking like apple juice.

Speaker 4:
[71:26] Although I've also...

Speaker 5:
[71:27] What a cheater. Cheating.

Speaker 4:
[71:31] A little bit, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[71:32] I love Dean Martin, but yeah, you're totally right. He cheated. He cheated.

Speaker 4:
[71:37] Well, it was a character.

Speaker 10:
[71:39] No.

Speaker 5:
[71:39] He does his thing. He's a professional. He's not actually drinking or smoking or anything like that. Not while he's working.

Speaker 4:
[71:49] He makes you a living playing character.

Speaker 5:
[71:52] Right?

Speaker 4:
[71:52] You make your living playing characters. You're going to begrudge him as one character of, you know, everybody loves him. And they're gold diggers. I mean, it's really funny.

Speaker 5:
[72:06] You know, The Wifey Poo and I did watch a little bit of that.

Speaker 4:
[72:10] But on like YouTube, right?

Speaker 5:
[72:12] No, we somehow got some DVD. This is years ago.

Speaker 4:
[72:16] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[72:16] And we watched like one or two. But I don't remember that there was all girls gathered around them.

Speaker 4:
[72:23] Well, I mean, Dean, you know, his character was swinging in the play, even though he was married and he would thank Jeannie and the kids. And but, you know, it was kind of a wink, wink. I must be getting zumpets. I mean, look, I'm fucking Dean Martin. I look awesome.

Speaker 6:
[72:38] I'm the most relaxed man you've ever met in your life. I just look like a fucking good time.

Speaker 4:
[72:47] And he was. My mother loved that show.

Speaker 5:
[72:49] Did she have a thing with him?

Speaker 4:
[72:52] Ten o'clock Thursday. That's a very adult hour.

Speaker 5:
[72:57] Right.

Speaker 4:
[72:57] Ten o'clock Thursday. Like, and dad wasn't home yet. And Dean Martin, I'm sure. I'm sure I'm nothing. I'm not saying she had nothing to do with Dean Martin. But I mean, he was. As a kid, I thought, oh, I'd like to be that tan, handsome, a bunch of fucking checks around you. It's like, oh, it was all.

Speaker 5:
[73:19] Who could have a better life than Dean Martin? You're also getting to sit next to Frank Sinatra, laughing, trading jokes, telling stories.

Speaker 4:
[73:29] He made a virtue of not working because the gag was, he never came in for rehearsal. So that's why the girls, they would lead him to the spot and they'd prop him up in front of a cue card he never read before. So when he fucked up the cue card, that was like the comedy of the show. It was genius. And genuine. People like genuine even more today. Kids are stupid about lots of stuff, but they're savvy about what's real.

Speaker 5:
[74:01] That's why people love Snoop. Now, he's genuine. Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 4:
[74:10] Why is he on your mind so much?

Speaker 5:
[74:12] Now you just, I thought of a very genuine person. But I was going to say something about what you just, huh?

Speaker 4:
[74:19] Are you friends with him?

Speaker 5:
[74:20] No, I don't. I mean, I've met him and hung out with him a couple of times.

Speaker 4:
[74:24] Let's hang out with him. He'll come over and see you.

Speaker 5:
[74:27] I'll tell you a story.

Speaker 4:
[74:28] I can't get him over to do the podcast and I want to. But he'd come for you.

Speaker 5:
[74:33] You think?

Speaker 4:
[74:35] I've had more than one rapper say, they know I know you. Oh, I have to party with that guy.

Speaker 5:
[74:40] Really?

Speaker 4:
[74:41] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[74:42] Well, I'm available.

Speaker 4:
[74:44] Exhibit, is that it?

Speaker 5:
[74:45] I'm ready.

Speaker 4:
[74:45] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 5:
[74:46] Send Kendrick Lamar in?

Speaker 4:
[74:48] No, they want to party with Woody.

Speaker 5:
[74:52] Really?

Speaker 4:
[74:52] That's why we're here at The Woods. Because the idea that-

Speaker 5:
[74:55] It's a beautiful place, 8271 Santa Monica Boulevard.

Speaker 4:
[75:00] I mean, even just being in the next bungalow, just the vibe would be a great thing for you. I just think not enough-

Speaker 5:
[75:11] No, that's one of the things we should do here.

Speaker 4:
[75:14] Not enough people know how much you put into this to make a vision of a pot store that wasn't like the other McDonald's pot store. Whatever, I'm not naming names.

Speaker 5:
[75:30] Oh, sorry. I didn't mean-

Speaker 4:
[75:32] I'm just saying if you order in from McDonald's, Burrito Supreme, respect to Big Mac.

Speaker 6:
[75:39] The fucking food there.

Speaker 4:
[75:41] I don't know. I'm part of the rich elite. I don't fuck what I know what to eat at McDonald's. I don't eat with the comment.

Speaker 5:
[75:51] I have three chefs.

Speaker 4:
[75:56] I went to Paul Anka, fools.

Speaker 5:
[76:00] Oh, dude, Paul Anka. Remember you were talking the other day like Paul Anka.

Speaker 4:
[76:05] I had dinner with him last night.

Speaker 5:
[76:07] Did you really?

Speaker 4:
[76:07] Yeah, he did the podcast. We talked for two hours. It went by like so fast. So we go out to dinner.

Speaker 5:
[76:14] How great.

Speaker 4:
[76:15] Oh, he's such a fucking mob boss. He's awesome.

Speaker 7:
[76:20] He's like, I've never lost songs.

Speaker 4:
[76:27] That's pretty good. Maybe I'll put that into your Mark Twain speech. Woody Harrelson is graciously consented to be one of the presenters. At the Mark Twain Awards on June 28th, where I will be receiving this honor, unless Trump it up again, which is completely possible.

Speaker 5:
[76:52] Isn't it nice Trump's allowing you in?

Speaker 4:
[76:55] I think it's-

Speaker 5:
[76:56] Your buddy?

Speaker 4:
[76:57] I loved it that they tried to block it there. And of course, I think he absolutely still could if he wanted to. So I'm just thankful. And I love it that he takes the game seriously. Like, no, I'm going to block this guy. Yeah. I respect the move. But I know that on June 28th, it's going to happen. We're going to be at the Kennedy Center. And I couldn't be more appreciative, honestly, that you are doing this for me. This is, like, you know, especially for someone who lost 33 Emmys. Not a gag number. It's kind of nice to get...

Speaker 5:
[77:50] Is it really 33? Nominations.

Speaker 4:
[77:53] Like a gag.

Speaker 5:
[77:54] Zero wins.

Speaker 4:
[77:55] Correct.

Speaker 5:
[77:55] You're like, what's the leg?

Speaker 4:
[77:57] Don't even... Don't go there. Don't go there. People have gone there.

Speaker 5:
[78:02] Yeah, but I mean, she went many, many times.

Speaker 4:
[78:05] For very different reasons.

Speaker 5:
[78:07] Oh, and listen, I'm not trying to compare you in terms of the superlative nature of your product, motherfucker. What the fuck is wrong with you? You can't allow me to mention some poor lady, the Susan whatever name it, Susan Gucci.

Speaker 4:
[78:25] I couldn't be happier right now because I heard you utter the words, superlative nature of your product, which is awesome. Thank you.

Speaker 5:
[78:35] By the way.

Speaker 4:
[78:36] Superlative nature of my product.

Speaker 5:
[78:38] Tell me, how many years exactly?

Speaker 4:
[78:42] Of what?

Speaker 5:
[78:43] Of this particular show, The New Incarnation.

Speaker 4:
[78:49] Real time, the name of my show. Yes, I know it. Why? You think I'm an imposter? You think I'm AI?

Speaker 7:
[78:57] No, no.

Speaker 4:
[78:58] You think I'm AI?

Speaker 7:
[78:59] Barney is actually alive.

Speaker 4:
[79:01] You think AI can do this?

Speaker 6:
[79:03] Think AI can get this high?

Speaker 4:
[79:05] Good luck AI. Uh-oh.

Speaker 6:
[79:12] It just, oh.

Speaker 5:
[79:16] You got me on that one, dude. You got me on that one.

Speaker 4:
[79:19] What did you ask me?

Speaker 5:
[79:22] I was, how the fuck am I going to, that's one of your minions.

Speaker 4:
[79:27] No, no. How dare you?

Speaker 5:
[79:34] And by the way, to all the minions downstairs, I do apologize.

Speaker 4:
[79:39] What were we talking about? It's very important. It was very important to me. No, it was.

Speaker 5:
[79:44] Was it? Yes. Well, couldn't someone help us?

Speaker 4:
[79:48] I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[79:49] Couldn't one of your highly paid assistants?

Speaker 4:
[79:51] No. There's no one here but us.

Speaker 5:
[79:57] By the way, this, by the way, can I give you credit? Like, I'd assume there would be people in the room.

Speaker 4:
[80:05] Never. That was my vision of Club Random. No one, that makes all the difference.

Speaker 5:
[80:12] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[80:12] And I was right.

Speaker 5:
[80:13] If there was a person sitting there, there, there, then-

Speaker 4:
[80:16] It's terrible.

Speaker 5:
[80:17] Well, I mean, it could ultimately end up good, but at least you would have a consciousness that there's three other humans in the room. Now we know they're downstairs.

Speaker 7:
[80:29] They're listening.

Speaker 5:
[80:31] They laugh every once in a while. A lot of times, it's just really silence.

Speaker 4:
[80:37] I'm not saying other projects aren't good. I'm just saying there are no others that are this, shall we say, loose.

Speaker 5:
[80:51] Don't make me spit up my drink on film.

Speaker 4:
[80:55] If you're looking for loose, and I know you are, look no further. Loose, I assume we are, man. We run a loose ship. We run a very loose ship.

Speaker 5:
[81:10] We run a very loose ship.

Speaker 4:
[81:11] Yeah, we do here at the woods.

Speaker 5:
[81:15] Wait, what did I say? Was it 35, 40 minutes we had to cut out of that?

Speaker 4:
[81:20] I can't wait for our next business meeting.

Speaker 5:
[81:22] Oh yeah.

Speaker 4:
[81:24] But this is the dream.

Speaker 5:
[81:26] Talk to a man.

Speaker 4:
[81:27] No, no, I really mean it. This is like the dream of this place, and I haven't been here enough. But to be able to sit here like this, you know, it's funny, the more successful you get, you, when I was in the clubs, I saw my friends every night, and now I only see them whenever. And, you know, when I was younger, okay, I didn't, wasn't doing as well, and this wasn't as good, and this wasn't good, but I did a lot more of this. Just, you know, fucking sitting with some guy who I like, I like you, you know, I do it, I'm not making it up. But just sitting with somebody I like, and getting really up. I mean, that, it's like, that kind of, I'm not saying it never happens, we don't do it enough, and I feel like, maybe you do, I don't, and I feel like this place is like, it's encouraging to do that, like you're never too old to get very fucked up.

Speaker 5:
[82:33] Yeah, but also it's just, the vibe is so.

Speaker 4:
[82:35] It's not that hard.

Speaker 6:
[82:38] I can teach you, I can teach you.

Speaker 4:
[82:39] I do a TED Talk on it, how to get fucked up. Get the joy, light it.

Speaker 5:
[82:45] I gotta see this TED Talk, it's a short TED Talk, 45 seconds, you get the thing, you light it, you inhale.

Speaker 4:
[82:53] But you still go with the old joints, huh? I mean, you're not with the kids with their vapors.

Speaker 5:
[82:59] No, no, I gotta have the vape, the wifey poo. Wifey poo has stolen my vaporizer, now I can't. She doesn't smoke, by the way, but she has it down. If she brings it up personally, that would be cool.

Speaker 4:
[83:13] I mean, you literally roll the joints like we're in the Old West, like, you know. I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying. It's very old school, I like it. It's old-world.

Speaker 5:
[83:25] Oh, listen, Mr., you know.

Speaker 6:
[83:27] What, I'm saying nice things?

Speaker 5:
[83:29] Bill of luck. I mean, you know, like, you're unbelievable.

Speaker 4:
[83:33] Why are you attacking me?

Speaker 5:
[83:34] Like, to have to roll up a fucking joint, that's too much for you, you fucking rich cocksucker. God, I mean, unbelievable. You are unbelievable. It's, I'm sorry to your fucking people, your audience, to have to witness the level of elitism that you aspire to.

Speaker 4:
[83:54] Well, you know, that's really funny coming from an A-lister. I mean, it's like, remember this garlet letter? But this was a good A. That A was for adulterous.

Speaker 5:
[84:11] Adulterous, which is a good A, do you?

Speaker 4:
[84:13] No, I'm just saying, like...

Speaker 5:
[84:14] You're saying if someone adults, that's a good A.

Speaker 4:
[84:18] No, but because you're a movie star. As if that's even a thing. So, how many of the 100 are good? How many were not in a theater, because they were in the Netflix era?

Speaker 5:
[84:44] Oh, yeah. Like High Women. Yeah, that went right to Netflix.

Speaker 4:
[84:49] Oh, yeah. I liked it. I saw it.

Speaker 5:
[84:51] Yeah, I thought it was great. And the first weekend, like 19 million people saw it. It was the most seen movie. And that was when I was like... And by the way, for Netflix, they see... It's never one person watching. It's always at least two. And by the way, many times it's more, but every once in a while, there's someone who will like yourself. Anyway...

Speaker 6:
[85:19] Winning.

Speaker 5:
[85:20] Anyway?

Speaker 6:
[85:21] Like, any opportunity. I love it.

Speaker 5:
[85:25] Little shot to the wrist.

Speaker 4:
[85:28] As I'm like literally being drawn into the storm. And then the ship comes out. It's like I can feel the hook, but I still wanted to bait, you know. It was just sad.

Speaker 8:
[85:41] Here's your dish.

Speaker 5:
[85:43] But, but, so 19 million makes 38 million. That's when I started to believe in streaming and Netflix and.

Speaker 4:
[85:52] Right.

Speaker 5:
[85:54] But, you know, there's a greedy people too, you know.

Speaker 4:
[85:57] What do you mean?

Speaker 5:
[85:58] Well, like prime, you know. Like you're paying X amount a week or a month, right? And yet they're still going to charge you for individual shows, which is a lot. Like a high percentage of valuable material. They also charge you for that to watch that. But hold on, I'm on prime. Can't we just, can't we just agree to, you know, like, you just. I'm on, I'm on it. Remember, I'm on it. I know. And then, what's it, Fubo? Fubo?

Speaker 4:
[86:35] Fubo, well.

Speaker 5:
[86:36] Is that what it's called? Yeah, Fubo. They charge you $100 a month.

Speaker 4:
[86:41] What is it? What's it for?

Speaker 5:
[86:43] Fubo is for like soccer and sports and. Dude, it's huge. It's huge. I'm telling you.

Speaker 4:
[86:51] Not in my eyes.

Speaker 5:
[86:52] Well, if you're gonna watch, if you're gonna watch soccer. If you're gonna watch even tennis, all kinds of stuff, all sports.

Speaker 4:
[87:00] Oh, there's enough sports.

Speaker 5:
[87:02] Fubo, they charge you $100 a month. And let's just say you wanna watch a repeat of that match, that Djokovic match you missed.

Speaker 4:
[87:12] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[87:13] Well, I ain't gonna charge you for that, too.

Speaker 4:
[87:15] Right.

Speaker 5:
[87:16] And so they do the, the, the, Anne, Anne, you guess what? We're gonna throw commercials in there as well.

Speaker 4:
[87:23] I mean, I-

Speaker 5:
[87:24] Just the greed of it is insulting.

Speaker 4:
[87:27] I know. I just never knew.

Speaker 5:
[87:29] There's the wife. There she came. Come here.

Speaker 4:
[87:32] What is that?

Speaker 5:
[87:33] Penny.

Speaker 4:
[87:35] I just never knew you watched your penny that closely.

Speaker 5:
[87:40] They don't see the wifey. She's so mysterious.

Speaker 4:
[87:43] I mean, I-I share your outrage.

Speaker 5:
[87:45] Yeah, I'm outraged.

Speaker 4:
[87:46] I'm outraged. But I gotta say, I was not monitoring, like, how-how much I was getting foxed... By the streaming dude for every movie. But I'm sure you're right. I guess that's a sign of success. You know, I-I am no, like, sort of mogul, but it doesn't really affect me if they're fucking me on, like, charging me for whatever it is. I just don't want to make it a hassle. I always want to say to them, you know, just tell me how much, just tell me how much. Dude, you're just- Don't make it-

Speaker 5:
[88:24] By the way, you're just so fucking rich. It doesn't matter to you.

Speaker 4:
[88:28] I'm not that rich.

Speaker 5:
[88:29] Tell me how much. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 4:
[88:31] Well, that's basically what I'm- It's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5:
[88:33] Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4:
[88:33] I'm not that fucking rich.

Speaker 5:
[88:35] And what about poor people who are just like, everything they got for $100 a month, and now they're gonna fucking charge me because I missed the first broadcast?

Speaker 4:
[88:45] So what should I do? Like, live my life and also have the feelings? I have a poor person.

Speaker 6:
[88:54] About everything that affects me, it's like, oh, but I can't be happy because a poor person would be like, oh shit, I'm. So I have to be- It's ridiculous.

Speaker 4:
[89:09] You hippies, you never stop. You hippies, you smell like shit, and then everything is all about gentle parenting and just being really fucking-

Speaker 5:
[89:26] You really have shown yourself to be such a noble character. Right now, I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 4:
[89:34] What is that thing? What is that thing? What is that thing?

Speaker 5:
[89:40] You know-

Speaker 6:
[89:40] What is that thing? What is that thing? What is that thing?

Speaker 5:
[89:45] This is the- The Verity. This is the same guy as you do the volcano.

Speaker 2:
[89:51] What do we do?

Speaker 5:
[89:52] It's the best-

Speaker 2:
[89:53] Do what?

Speaker 5:
[89:55] It's the best mobile-

Speaker 4:
[89:56] Oh. Oh, you're smoking pot out of it.

Speaker 5:
[89:59] Vaporizing. Oh.

Speaker 4:
[90:02] It looks like a phone in 19-

Speaker 5:
[90:05] That's where you really get the taste. This is the- the stuff I was telling you about.

Speaker 4:
[90:11] No, I think I'll-

Speaker 7:
[90:12] Here, here, here.

Speaker 5:
[90:13] You know what I could do?

Speaker 4:
[90:14] I think I'm afraid of it.

Speaker 7:
[90:15] Here, here, here. Look, look.

Speaker 5:
[90:18] Come on, Howie. You can do it.

Speaker 4:
[90:21] So does that- It's still going?

Speaker 5:
[90:31] It tastes is good, right?

Speaker 4:
[90:33] Very good.

Speaker 5:
[90:33] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[90:34] Very good.

Speaker 5:
[90:35] That's the purple papaya.

Speaker 4:
[90:38] Oh, really?

Speaker 5:
[90:39] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[90:40] Well, how about that? And what are your other new projects?

Speaker 5:
[90:50] Thank you for your interest.

Speaker 4:
[90:52] Yeah, well, I'm a professional interviewer. Can't you tell what you know about me? I hear the cast was like a family. It is true though, everybody you ever work with is still your friend.

Speaker 5:
[91:19] No, there's actually several that I feel really remiss that I haven't had much time with, that I wish I had stayed in touch with.

Speaker 4:
[91:28] Michael, like people who died until you missed your chance?

Speaker 5:
[91:36] Well, well, you went heavy there. You went like, you know, okay, I shot you to the ribs, you shot me to the-

Speaker 4:
[91:44] No, no, I meant it.

Speaker 7:
[91:47] You missed it.

Speaker 4:
[91:48] I thought maybe you were friends with Gene Hackman.

Speaker 5:
[91:51] Jesus Christ. Oh, but Marlon Brando, for example, Marlon Brando died-

Speaker 4:
[91:56] Even better.

Speaker 7:
[91:57] We were, you know, we were like friends.

Speaker 5:
[92:02] Really?

Speaker 4:
[92:03] How did you get to know him?

Speaker 5:
[92:05] Okay. I'll tell you how I got to know him was, there was this book written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And the people who wanted to make this book was Milos Forman.

Speaker 4:
[92:23] Is this love in the time of cholera?

Speaker 5:
[92:25] Uh, the reason, remember when I was saying before this book, I was being generic because I didn't quite remember what the name...

Speaker 4:
[92:36] I think that might be the one.

Speaker 5:
[92:40] I think it was. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[92:42] It was a movie. They did make a movie.

Speaker 7:
[92:44] They did?

Speaker 4:
[92:45] Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[92:45] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[92:48] I'm not sure if it was that movie. But so, we, so it was Sean Penn producing, Milos Forman was in it. I was working with Milos at the time.

Speaker 4:
[93:00] Was directing.

Speaker 5:
[93:01] Or had finished working with him.

Speaker 4:
[93:02] He said, in it? Directing?

Speaker 5:
[93:04] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[93:04] Milos Forman directing.

Speaker 5:
[93:06] To direct it.

Speaker 4:
[93:07] He said he was in it. Okay, directing.

Speaker 5:
[93:09] Oh, I said in it. Oh, sorry. I'm high as fuck, dude, and I can partially blame you. Club Random. But anyway. So I said, so I knew they were going to meet. Marlon and I'm like, Sean. And I also spoke separately to Milos. I am going with you. I'm going with you for this meeting. Like I have nothing to do with it. I'm going with you. And they both just kind of agreed. And I went. And the night before I'd done this interview with Barbara.

Speaker 4:
[93:47] Oh, your wife. Huh? Go ahead. Celebrity privilege.

Speaker 5:
[93:54] Yes. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[93:55] Which is a thing.

Speaker 5:
[93:56] Well, no, but it wasn't celebrity. For those are both my friends.

Speaker 4:
[93:59] I am not.

Speaker 5:
[94:00] It wasn't a celebrity. To ask Sean Penn. He don't give a fuck about celebrity.

Speaker 4:
[94:05] I don't say that as a critique.

Speaker 5:
[94:07] Yeah. Okay. I took it as such.

Speaker 7:
[94:09] It's not a critique.

Speaker 5:
[94:11] Oh, oh. You said you didn't.

Speaker 4:
[94:12] It's just a thing. Celebrity privilege.

Speaker 5:
[94:15] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[94:15] It can be abused. This is not a case of abuse.

Speaker 5:
[94:19] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[94:20] But that's what it is.

Speaker 5:
[94:23] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[94:23] And that's cool. You earned it.

Speaker 5:
[94:27] How far down the sidetrack road should we travel?

Speaker 4:
[94:31] No. Anyway, tell me.

Speaker 5:
[94:34] Anyway, I mean, I was telling his story. Now I don't. Now I feel like one of these guys.

Speaker 4:
[94:42] No. Tell me.

Speaker 5:
[94:44] I beg.

Speaker 4:
[94:44] Marlon Brando.

Speaker 5:
[94:46] Oh, yeah. So what happened was, so I went to the meeting, right? And we're waiting downstairs in his house and it's very like kind of Japanese, you know, like it has the really like those Japanese blinds and everything. And, you know, this is up there where Jack Nicholson still lives. Another house.

Speaker 4:
[95:09] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[95:10] You got Helena and you got Jack or Helen, Helena, Helena and Jack and, and Brando. And so we go into the room and we're waiting for him to come down. And finally comes down in a kimono.

Speaker 4:
[95:26] Right.

Speaker 5:
[95:27] And he looks and he sees me for some reason out of the people assembled, which just three of us. He sees me and he goes, Oh, you made me laugh. And he was talking about this interview I'd done the night before. And he had seen it. Anyway, we got on like a house of fire. Well, fuck, that was cool, man. I forget what the whole point of the story was.

Speaker 4:
[95:57] I think the point of it is that like there's certain, like some sort of like green gem inside certain people that makes it's reason why that they, you know, are embraced by the public. Charlie Chaplin, and I could name other people, you know. And it's just like...

Speaker 5:
[96:13] Charlie Shane.

Speaker 4:
[96:15] Yeah, Charlie Shane. Really. I mean, you know, and one sort of like recognizes the other. So he, yeah, I mean, and I know he said that in interviews before, like, I love to laugh, you know. And he would mention, like, all old acts like WC. Fields and the Marx Brothers. I mean, he was, you know, I guess of that era or whatever, his tastes that he cited were like very old school. It wasn't like George Carlin.

Speaker 5:
[96:43] That'd be too.

Speaker 4:
[96:44] Yeah, it was really old time. So, you know, something got to him. That's great. I mean, you know, I would like fucking be owning that story. Brando liked me.

Speaker 5:
[96:59] Well, yeah, and we hung out a few times. And he was one of the most extraordinary humans I ever met in my life. So playful, just constantly ready to be, well, playing.

Speaker 4:
[97:17] And yeah, I guess if he let his guard down.

Speaker 5:
[97:21] Brilliant.

Speaker 4:
[97:22] Yeah. If he was with someone who he let his guard down, he was probably amazing.

Speaker 5:
[97:28] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[97:29] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[97:30] You'd imagine that wouldn't be a director. You know, he always had a thing with the director.

Speaker 4:
[97:36] Oh, really?

Speaker 5:
[97:38] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[97:39] Legendarily. Fighting with him?

Speaker 5:
[97:41] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[97:42] I don't think he fought with Francis Ford Coppola.

Speaker 5:
[97:44] No, probably not so much with him.

Speaker 4:
[97:47] No.

Speaker 5:
[97:48] But even then, you know, you've seen, uh, uh, what's the one that was written about the, uh, the wifey's down there. She knows what I'm talking about. She wants to yell it up to me.

Speaker 4:
[98:04] He called me elitist, but you speak like Thurston Howell.

Speaker 5:
[98:08] You must be saying, the wifey's down there.

Speaker 7:
[98:11] She knows what I'm doing, the wifey doesn't say something.

Speaker 4:
[98:14] Yeah, empty nesters.

Speaker 5:
[98:16] Yeah. And, by the way, you know, that's...

Speaker 4:
[98:20] Look on the bright side, you know, save you from doing Bad Grandpa. No, I kid, I want to see you do it.

Speaker 5:
[98:29] By the way, Bad Grandpa, that was great.

Speaker 4:
[98:32] I loved it.

Speaker 5:
[98:34] What's his name, that great... Johnny, Johnny Knoxville.

Speaker 4:
[98:37] America does good fucking comedies like that, you know, like adult comedies.

Speaker 5:
[98:43] I know, but give credit where it's due. Johnny Knoxville played like an 80-year-old man to perfection.

Speaker 4:
[98:51] In what movie?

Speaker 5:
[98:52] In Bad Grandpa.

Speaker 8:
[98:54] What the fuck?

Speaker 7:
[98:55] How high are you?

Speaker 4:
[98:56] I thought it was...

Speaker 5:
[98:57] You can't stay with the flow of conversation.

Speaker 8:
[99:00] That's your whole thing.

Speaker 5:
[99:01] You're an interviewer.

Speaker 8:
[99:02] Dude, that's the fundamental, most important component of what you do.

Speaker 4:
[99:09] Right.

Speaker 8:
[99:09] And we go in and we talk with...

Speaker 4:
[99:12] Like you're Edward R. Murrow in clown pants.

Speaker 5:
[99:17] Clown pants, dude. These are stylish. I bet the people watching this right now are like, are you kidding me, Mr. All Black? These are fucking beautiful pants.

Speaker 6:
[99:27] The people watching in Scotland.

Speaker 4:
[99:33] What are your hobbies? What are your hobbies?

Speaker 6:
[99:39] Woody, is that your real name?

Speaker 4:
[99:43] Is that your real name? You know, I don't even know that.

Speaker 5:
[99:48] Well, I'll tell you, William. My real name is actually Woodrow.

Speaker 4:
[99:54] It is? Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[99:55] Named after the president.

Speaker 4:
[99:57] Woodrow, you were named after Woodrow Wilson?

Speaker 5:
[99:59] Yeah, the beautiful president who crushed all of the unions. I love that guy, man. He really, he goes to my heart. I mean, yeah. He did everything he could. He was great.

Speaker 4:
[100:12] He, no. I know you're being...

Speaker 5:
[100:14] He was no Trump.

Speaker 4:
[100:16] I know you're being facetious. He is, he's one the Democrats who might want to disown a little bit. I don't follow the news. I don't know. I watch TMZ and that's it. If they're not talking about it on TMZ, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Speaker 5:
[100:34] Exactly. Can they pull their bus up here, by the way, every once in a while?

Speaker 4:
[100:38] Can they what? Oh, really?

Speaker 5:
[100:39] Pull the bus up.

Speaker 4:
[100:40] Absolutely. I can actually...

Speaker 5:
[100:42] You talk to your buddy?

Speaker 4:
[100:43] I totally will.

Speaker 5:
[100:44] My man.

Speaker 4:
[100:45] Okay. You know, again, we'll talk of business later, but...

Speaker 5:
[100:52] At least we got some ideas.

Speaker 4:
[100:54] I know. That's the problem. All ideas, no implementation.

Speaker 7:
[100:59] Right?

Speaker 4:
[101:00] You're a basketball lover. I agree with you.

Speaker 7:
[101:02] I agree.

Speaker 4:
[101:02] You know, when somebody drives to the hoop, great move and then misses the layup, what do we say? A million dollar move and a 10 cent shot. That's what we got here.

Speaker 6:
[101:14] I think we should be...

Speaker 5:
[101:16] I actually agree with you.

Speaker 4:
[101:17] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[101:18] But by the way, if the government were not charging us 35 percent...

Speaker 4:
[101:23] We don't need to have a business meeting.

Speaker 5:
[101:26] Oh, no, no. I do.

Speaker 4:
[101:27] But...

Speaker 5:
[101:28] I mean, take...

Speaker 4:
[101:29] Yeah. But what is truly frustrating that we agree on is that this place, it should be, first of all, impossible to get into. I mean, it's the coolest place. I mean, if you really wanted to have some after party or anything that has this aura, there's nothing else like this.

Speaker 5:
[101:57] Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you.

Speaker 4:
[101:59] But, oh, I know you do.

Speaker 5:
[102:01] But I'm not big on promotion. I'm just terrible on promotion.

Speaker 4:
[102:04] You're too modest. That is really... You are literally too modest.

Speaker 6:
[102:09] Like, you never...

Speaker 4:
[102:11] All your friends... I mean, look, I was here one night with Paul McCartney, for Intimate Gathering, like, oh, it was so great. And I could see why you would never want to... He's just too godlike to ever like impose upon with social media and that stuff. But you have like your famous friends here all the time. There wouldn't be...

Speaker 5:
[102:33] Harrison Ford.

Speaker 4:
[102:34] All of them. I've seen a million people here. Some of them are boyfriends. I mean, in a good way. I mean, just like you're, you're bro. I'm just saying you're like bro, you know, coven that you have. And then others are of all stripes, you know, everybody you ever work with. Whenever I go to a party, it's like, Oh, Salma Hammack, why isn't she here? Oh, yeah, they did blah, blah, blah together. And they always stayed in contact or whoever it is. That's just, you know, your superpower.

Speaker 5:
[103:10] Well, I just, people I love, I want to stay in touch with. And you know, you do fall in, but that, by the way, but excuse me, I don't want to interrupt your interruption, but I was thinking, you know, it's like incredible, like these experiences you have when you do a movie with someone or you do a show with someone.

Speaker 4:
[103:32] Right.

Speaker 5:
[103:32] And the intimacy and the level of like, you know, just the love that you feel for, if, I mean, optimally, you feel this love for the other people. You know, like those three guys, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4:
[103:46] I love that picture.

Speaker 5:
[103:47] Yeah, I love that picture.

Speaker 4:
[103:49] Not that we ever did a movie together, but I remember from my acting days in the 80s, you know, I did enough movies that mainly DC Cab won 11 Academy Awards. DC Cab, okay. Yeah. I do remember, of course, and you know, if you're doing a shot on camera, as opposed to like a sitcom, you know, kind of episodic TV show, those are long movie hours. And anytime you are like put in a situation where all you do is be on the set or sleep, that is like your life. And those people, you become very close to people in a very short amount of time.

Speaker 5:
[104:36] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[104:37] You know, like after a week. And then it all ends. And this bonding that was like so intense is now...

Speaker 5:
[104:48] And now you don't see them for a long time.

Speaker 4:
[104:50] Or ever. Yeah. It's just, it's a very weird life.

Speaker 5:
[104:53] That's the weirdest part of the whole program.

Speaker 4:
[104:56] Yeah, you're always falling in love and then getting divorced.

Speaker 5:
[104:59] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[105:00] You know.

Speaker 5:
[105:01] And not just with the other actors or director. The crew.

Speaker 6:
[105:07] Oh, the craft server, John.

Speaker 8:
[105:10] I miss him so bad.

Speaker 5:
[105:11] The craft server, you know, Woody and I have to know his name.

Speaker 4:
[105:15] We did a movie.

Speaker 5:
[105:15] Ken. Let's call him Ken.

Speaker 4:
[105:17] We did a movie, three of the week together in 1988.

Speaker 6:
[105:21] I'm telling you, I miss that guy in this very day. You know, he's new to put the cheese.

Speaker 5:
[105:29] Well, you're such an elitist. I mean, look at you. You must be all black. You know, you are. You're dressed like this shirt. I promise you, $1,500. Like, this fucking guy. Look at the guy. Look at... Hey, by the way, we were in the same shoes. Same shoes. Mine aren't clean, but we're wearing the same boots.

Speaker 4:
[105:52] Yours is probably some hippie knocker off. Mine's real, because I look good. Yours is some... Yours are not this good. Those are, like, no...

Speaker 5:
[106:03] These are twice as good as yours.

Speaker 4:
[106:04] No, they're like from, you know, bamboo yaks.

Speaker 5:
[106:08] They are from bamboo. You're actually right.

Speaker 4:
[106:11] Right, exactly.

Speaker 5:
[106:12] And these are what? Those are felt. They're from some poor cow. You don't give a fuck about it.

Speaker 4:
[106:18] Well, you know, if we eat it, why throw away the hide? I mean, you're...

Speaker 5:
[106:24] It's a beautiful sentiment.

Speaker 4:
[106:26] And look, I'm a PETA board member, but it's not like there's people...

Speaker 5:
[106:32] Emphasis on the board.

Speaker 4:
[106:37] It's like fighting with my little sister in 1968. I mean, my big sister.

Speaker 5:
[106:46] Thank you to give her that.

Speaker 4:
[106:48] Wait, who am I?

Speaker 6:
[106:52] Anyway, what a project that you have coming up.

Speaker 4:
[107:02] So, you've got the animal movie and you've got your...

Speaker 5:
[107:07] If I thought you gave a shit, I'd give you the whole fucking lineup.

Speaker 4:
[107:11] Do you have any charities that you'd like us to feel bad about? What are we not doing enough for? I mean, I'm sure many, many, many candidates. But, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[107:37] I love how you transitioned in seriousness. From just pure, you know, crazy, you know, laugh a minute, you're dismissed, you see.

Speaker 6:
[107:47] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[107:48] That's what you call being a pro. The most important thing in this business, being professional.

Speaker 6:
[108:02] I tell it to kids all the time.

Speaker 4:
[108:06] They keep walking away and report me as a man on the street. But I want these kids to listen. I did Club Random recently with two kids, two 20-year-olds.

Speaker 5:
[108:25] Okay. How'd they?

Speaker 4:
[108:26] It was so good. It was so great.

Speaker 5:
[108:27] But what about? How'd they end up on the show?

Speaker 4:
[108:32] I said, I want to do a Club Random and just with two, not famous, just two kids because-

Speaker 5:
[108:40] Woke?

Speaker 4:
[108:42] These kids were very hip. This was the good end of the generation. I say that because they knew basic facts and many, many their age would not. Like I always use as a guide, ask a 20-year-old approximately how many people on earth. You think, just as far as being aware, human, what do you know on the planet you live in about how many people live there?

Speaker 5:
[109:14] Only several, several, several thousand.

Speaker 4:
[109:19] Yeah, yeah, okay, then. But these kids were smarter than that. They knew, they knew basically the population of earth. So, you know, a lot of education is who your parents are. I mean, you know, one's father was a doctor, one was a lawyer. So there were kids who were, you know, privileged to live it. Like I feel privileged that I grew up in a stable house, which is very rare these days. You know, no divorce, hardly any divorce, even in the neighborhood.

Speaker 5:
[109:50] You got along great with your mother and your father.

Speaker 4:
[109:53] And I said, well, of course, you know, you're going to beef with your parents, they're your fucking parents. But basically, yeah. I mean, very fortunate that way.

Speaker 5:
[110:02] Isn't that a good way to say goodbye?

Speaker 4:
[110:06] I mean, I always worry about...

Speaker 5:
[110:09] You're worried about the leg.

Speaker 4:
[110:11] Look, I can sit here. The leg bothers you.

Speaker 5:
[110:13] See, he saw my skin.

Speaker 8:
[110:15] He saw my calf.

Speaker 5:
[110:17] And by the way, look at the calf. Like, how big is it? Like, that's crazy how big... This camera. Can you guys see it? Because it's... I mean, that's a big calf. And it threw him off. Okay, hold it, hold it. How do you... Oh yeah, this direction. Toe point. Charlize Theron, she disapproves of toe pointing. But anyway...

Speaker 4:
[110:40] What?

Speaker 5:
[110:41] Yeah, if he ever did that, if he pointed a toe for Charlize, she would, she'd heckle you.

Speaker 4:
[110:50] That's why the big problem on the What's the Movies Whose Name We Can't Think Of with Tom Hardy, not Blade Runner, not...

Speaker 5:
[111:00] But wasn't it, wasn't Blade... Why doesn't one of your people, Laura, my wife, should talk to one of those people.

Speaker 4:
[111:09] No, it's just us.

Speaker 5:
[111:09] Come up here again and I, you know, like, you're yelling out from...

Speaker 4:
[111:14] This is not, this is Club Random, this is not The Woods. It just happens to be at The Woods, my game, my rules.

Speaker 5:
[111:22] No, I agree.

Speaker 4:
[111:24] Just us, just us.

Speaker 5:
[111:25] Okay, you and me.

Speaker 4:
[111:26] A, I can't bail you out. But this is like such a stoner thing that...

Speaker 5:
[111:32] That we can't remember.

Speaker 4:
[111:34] Between the two of us, we can't remember the name of the movie.

Speaker 5:
[111:37] And I thought it wasn't the whole Blade Runner.

Speaker 4:
[111:40] No, Blade Runner is Harrison Ford in the year...

Speaker 5:
[111:43] No, but didn't they do a new incarnation of it?

Speaker 4:
[111:47] No, this is like, you know...

Speaker 5:
[111:50] Honey, honey, I beg you.

Speaker 4:
[111:51] No, no, no. Better this way.

Speaker 5:
[111:54] We're two hours and 25 minutes.

Speaker 4:
[111:57] Don't be a quitter.

Speaker 5:
[111:58] And I'm not quitting.

Speaker 4:
[111:59] You are.

Speaker 5:
[112:00] Okay, but wasn't it Blade Runner 3?

Speaker 4:
[112:03] I keep telling you, it wasn't that. It was, I don't know, didn't Mel Gibson do the first one? Mad Max.

Speaker 5:
[112:13] Mad Max! You're right, you're right, you're right. Okay, I apologize.

Speaker 4:
[112:18] Mad Max.

Speaker 5:
[112:18] You're totally right.

Speaker 4:
[112:19] That's it.

Speaker 5:
[112:20] Mad Max.

Speaker 4:
[112:21] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[112:23] Where Charlie's and Tom and a couple of them kind of relationship.

Speaker 4:
[112:29] You know, I will say one more thing while we're here at The Woods promoting this beautiful place.

Speaker 5:
[112:35] Oh, we promote it.

Speaker 4:
[112:36] But, you know, they keep trying to say marijuana is bad for you. But it's, what? But it's, you know, nothing is perfect for you. But it's just such a silly campaign, I feel.

Speaker 5:
[112:53] Such a what?

Speaker 4:
[112:54] Silly campaign that they refuse to let go of. I mean, even liberal publications now, you know, the pot is not, it's always self-inflating for them to take the contrarian view. You know, pot is not the harmless drug you think it is. I don't do drugs, but you know, pot is, and it's not completely harmless, but compared to what else you could do.

Speaker 5:
[113:23] Well, compared to alcohol.

Speaker 4:
[113:25] Yeah, but don't some people just have receptors, like THC receptors that, you know, it's almost like we need that sort of connection chemically.

Speaker 5:
[113:40] I can't speak to those people.

Speaker 4:
[113:43] Really? No, Todd always talks about it, like we have a receptor, you know, is it THC? It would be THC, right? No, like some people...

Speaker 5:
[113:56] I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing. Someone told me something really funny yesterday at Just Hit Home, like I didn't realize how funny that joke was till now. Go ahead.

Speaker 4:
[114:08] Yeah, I think there's like something, I don't know if it's the THC, but something in our body is endogenous to like the outer, the outside.

Speaker 5:
[114:23] Three minutes.

Speaker 4:
[114:23] Go ahead. The outside introduction of THC.

Speaker 5:
[114:28] Right.

Speaker 4:
[114:29] So like there are people who smoke pot and they get sleepy, and there are people who smoke pot and they get paranoid, and there are people who smoke pot and have a much better time than they would if they hadn't.

Speaker 5:
[114:39] That's true.

Speaker 4:
[114:40] Right.

Speaker 5:
[114:41] We're the ones with those receptors. Yeah. By the way, you're totally right. But also, even law enforcement, when they were talking about the ill effects of it, said it made you euphoric. That's what law enforcement used to say. What's wrong with euphoria? Is there something wrong with euphoria? Is something wrong with the drug that makes you think differently? Did you look at things differently?

Speaker 4:
[115:08] You said to a cop?

Speaker 5:
[115:09] No, no. You don't want to say that to a cop.

Speaker 4:
[115:11] No, you don't want to say that to a cop. What you want to do is show them your leg like that. It always works with the cops.

Speaker 5:
[115:17] Dude, you haven't even seen the hopper part.

Speaker 4:
[115:20] If you're hitchhiking, just show a little leg. All right. All right.

Speaker 5:
[115:33] You know, if you want to quit, let's quit before the last minute.

Speaker 4:
[115:37] What, you got somewhere to go? No. What are you doing there? Oh. Well, I'm hungry.

Speaker 5:
[115:43] You hungry? Let's eat.

Speaker 4:
[115:44] Of course. We're smoking pot.

Speaker 5:
[115:46] Here we go.

Speaker 15:
[116:11] Club Random. All design professionals, free samples, zero pressure. Right now, get up to 50% off with minimum purchase, plus get a free professional measure at blinds.com. Rules and restrictions apply.