transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] And this week's show is brought to you by Squarespace.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 3:
[00:49] Mom, can you tell me a story?

Speaker 4:
[00:51] Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car. Was she brave? She was tired, mostly. But she went to carvana.com and found a great car at a great price, no secret treasure map required.

Speaker 5:
[01:01] Did you have to find a dragon?

Speaker 4:
[01:02] Nope, she bought it 100% online, from her bed actually.

Speaker 6:
[01:06] Was it scary?

Speaker 4:
[01:07] Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

Speaker 7:
[01:09] Did the car have a sunroof?

Speaker 4:
[01:11] It did actually. Okay, good story. Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Caravanna. Delivery fees may apply.

Speaker 8:
[01:20] Yep, Charlamagne Tha God, Andrew Schulz.

Speaker 1:
[01:22] We are on the Brilliant Idiots podcast, back for another week of Brilliant Idiotness. Hemakai Walker.

Speaker 2:
[01:27] What's up, my man?

Speaker 1:
[01:27] How was your week, your weekend?

Speaker 2:
[01:29] My weekend was good.

Speaker 1:
[01:31] Where'd you go? Were you doing shows this weekend?

Speaker 8:
[01:33] What the fuck did I do this weekend?

Speaker 1:
[01:35] Yep, you're getting old, buddy.

Speaker 2:
[01:36] I am.

Speaker 1:
[01:37] What the fuck you did this weekend?

Speaker 9:
[01:38] Where was I?

Speaker 2:
[01:40] Oh, I just did this Garden of Laughs charity show at Radio City, man, and that was really cool. Was it yesterday?

Speaker 1:
[01:48] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[01:48] Yesterday or two days ago?

Speaker 9:
[01:50] It could have been yesterday.

Speaker 2:
[01:51] Two days ago, two days ago.

Speaker 1:
[01:52] Yeah, it was the weekend.

Speaker 2:
[01:53] I'm hungover, man.

Speaker 1:
[01:55] You was drinking?

Speaker 2:
[01:55] I drank yesterday. I guess I went on a date night with my wife.

Speaker 1:
[01:59] Bro, you can't be throwing that shit. You can't be having alcohol, bro.

Speaker 2:
[02:01] It is crazy. I'm just paying for it right now. Just brutal. What did you drink?

Speaker 8:
[02:07] I don't think I drank a lot.

Speaker 2:
[02:09] I had a Vesper Martini and then I had a glass of red wine.

Speaker 10:
[02:13] We started at the podcast.

Speaker 2:
[02:14] Fuck, we were drinking during the podcast. We had a lot of tequila.

Speaker 7:
[02:17] Do y'all always drink during the podcast?

Speaker 1:
[02:19] I hadn't drink all year long. Last time I had to drink was New Year's Eve. The first time I had to drink since New Year's Eve was last week at the Final Four and it was tequila. I'm like, nah, I can't this shit up.

Speaker 2:
[02:29] Knocked you out, right?

Speaker 1:
[02:32] I woke up the next day and it takes me too long to recover at this age.

Speaker 2:
[02:36] When you're old, bro, it's the whole day. My whole day is fucked, I know that for a fact. And I hit the sauna.

Speaker 1:
[02:42] That's right.

Speaker 2:
[02:43] I hit the steam room. I was trying to sweat it out. It's not going nowhere.

Speaker 1:
[02:47] I did that the next day. I went to the sauna, went and got a facial. When you get to a certain age, you gotta choose between erections or recovering from hangovers.

Speaker 2:
[02:54] I choose between dessert and erections.

Speaker 1:
[02:56] Damn!

Speaker 2:
[02:57] If I have dessert, we're going to sleep when we get home.

Speaker 1:
[03:00] Too much dessert causes me not to have an erection. I think it's the sugar.

Speaker 2:
[03:03] What?

Speaker 1:
[03:05] Don't worry.

Speaker 2:
[03:06] Y'all will get there.

Speaker 1:
[03:07] You're young boys with this shit, y'all gonna know.

Speaker 2:
[03:09] I'm just young and horny.

Speaker 1:
[03:10] That's right.

Speaker 2:
[03:10] I can't wait.

Speaker 1:
[03:11] That's right.

Speaker 8:
[03:11] I can't not wait.

Speaker 1:
[03:13] That's right. You get to a certain age when you're gonna have to choose erections over everything, baby. Okay, there's certain things that you get to a certain age you know gonna impact that erection. The hangover, the motherfucking sugar. You gotta choose what you want, bro.

Speaker 2:
[03:26] Sleep.

Speaker 1:
[03:27] Sleep.

Speaker 2:
[03:27] I just had a point right now, like if I don't get to sleep by 9:30 p.m., I'm exhausted. Cause I'm getting up at six every morning with the kids.

Speaker 1:
[03:36] I get a warning at 8.20.

Speaker 2:
[03:39] To get your ass in bed.

Speaker 1:
[03:40] No, yeah, 7.20. My phone says, I have my phone set to go to bed at 8.20, so my phone warns me at 7.20 cause I know I need to start winding down around that time. Am I like 9.15, 9.30? I got to be in the bedroom.

Speaker 2:
[03:52] And that's not how I'm wired. I'm wired to go to bed around like one.

Speaker 1:
[03:54] No way.

Speaker 2:
[03:55] No, like in my brain, like that's when I do my thinking. That's when I have a little time to myself. I get a little doom scroll. I like that midnight to 1 a.m. period, but I'm fucked.

Speaker 1:
[04:06] Nah, you gotta shut your screen time down at least an hour and a half before bed.

Speaker 2:
[04:12] That night is when they get the emotional videos on Instagram reels. Damn, I got a nice scroll last night. I was crying.

Speaker 1:
[04:19] What you was crying about?

Speaker 2:
[04:20] They just hit you with one thoughtful one after another, and like, his dad does this for his daughter, and this is beautiful, and the music is all baked in, and you can kind of train the algorithm to what you want. So when they try to throw in some bullshit that's not that, you swipe right by it, and I was on a tear. I mean, it was like 30 minutes just.

Speaker 1:
[04:39] Oh, I got one to send you.

Speaker 2:
[04:40] Send me.

Speaker 1:
[04:41] Man, these fucking fishermen, right? Because you know we live in this era now where since there's AI, they show us all these real videos and try to make us believe it's AI. Man, these fucking fishermen had this little, like.

Speaker 7:
[04:53] That mermaid you talking about?

Speaker 1:
[04:54] Yeah, man. That mermaid had to be about eight or nine. It was a little kid. You could tell it was a little kid mermaid. And that little kid mermaid was just crying. I mean, I'm just like, throw the motherfucker back in the ocean. The fuck y'all gonna do with this thing?

Speaker 2:
[05:06] Nah, that's sushi right there, man.

Speaker 1:
[05:08] No!

Speaker 2:
[05:08] Turn that little mermaid. Nice.

Speaker 1:
[05:10] Let me see if I got it, man.

Speaker 2:
[05:12] Yeah, get that up, man. I'm hungry just thinking about it. They lucky Japanese people didn't find that little bitch.

Speaker 1:
[05:18] Damn. Oh, it's already gone.

Speaker 2:
[05:20] I'm just saying, if some Japanese people found her, you know she's gonna be on rice by the afternoon. That's a guarantee.

Speaker 1:
[05:27] I put it in my story, it's gone already.

Speaker 2:
[05:29] You think that Japanese people wouldn't discriminate against the mermaid people?

Speaker 1:
[05:33] I couldn't eat no mermaid, man.

Speaker 2:
[05:34] You couldn't?

Speaker 1:
[05:35] Chinese people gotta draw the line somewhere.

Speaker 2:
[05:37] Japanese.

Speaker 1:
[05:37] Well, either way, whatever needs.

Speaker 2:
[05:39] Chinese people eat anything.

Speaker 1:
[05:41] That's not right, man.

Speaker 2:
[05:43] Who eats the most shit? It's not even, shit that you couldn't even imagine. They eat jellyfish. That's just-

Speaker 1:
[05:51] No, that might be fire. A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich? No. See, something that got something already in the name, like jellyfish, why wouldn't I try that?

Speaker 2:
[06:01] No.

Speaker 1:
[06:02] If you offer me a jellyfish, I'm like, all right, put some peanut butter with some white bread with that, let's see what's hitting.

Speaker 8:
[06:06] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[06:07] Let's see what's happening.

Speaker 8:
[06:08] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[06:09] God bless you, Joe.

Speaker 8:
[06:10] God bless you.

Speaker 1:
[06:10] This little mermaid was crying so.

Speaker 7:
[06:12] Go back to the archives and find it.

Speaker 2:
[06:14] That's how they get you, bro. They cry, they cry, they cry, they cry.

Speaker 1:
[06:19] Yeah, you got to be an ill motherfucker to eat a mermaid, Joe. It just reminds me of just fighting for this fucking life.

Speaker 2:
[06:24] Why you have to be ill to eat that?

Speaker 1:
[06:25] Because it's a child.

Speaker 2:
[06:26] You're not going to eat the human part. You're just going to go right for the tail.

Speaker 1:
[06:31] I never thought about that.

Speaker 2:
[06:32] You could just make it an amputee, put it in a wheelchair and then you just take the tail. It's like when they take the tusks off the rhinoceros.

Speaker 1:
[06:39] Fried mermaid tail might be fired.

Speaker 2:
[06:41] Why you got to fry it?

Speaker 1:
[06:42] You wouldn't even think about where it came from. You wouldn't care if it was a child, a woman, Downs, because I know they got some mermaids with Down syndrome.

Speaker 2:
[06:57] You know what they do.

Speaker 8:
[06:58] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[06:59] No, no, no. They do and I'm not going to sing the song.

Speaker 1:
[07:04] What's the song?

Speaker 4:
[07:05] I'm not going to sing it.

Speaker 1:
[07:06] You got to sing the song.

Speaker 2:
[07:07] I'm not going to sing it.

Speaker 1:
[07:08] Do you have to? It's the educational part of the podcast.

Speaker 2:
[07:10] No, I know it's educational. We got to spread awareness for the mermaids with Down syndrome.

Speaker 1:
[07:13] What's the song?

Speaker 2:
[07:14] No, I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 8:
[07:16] What's the song?

Speaker 1:
[07:19] Send me the video, Taylor.

Speaker 2:
[07:20] I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 7:
[07:21] It's not... When I type it in...

Speaker 1:
[07:22] Hold on. Let me see.

Speaker 2:
[07:24] Cry...

Speaker 1:
[07:25] Let me Google, crying mermaid child. I don't even want to see it, man. This shit hurt my heart. I don't know how to do all of this shit, man. You know how long it took me just to merge a call yesterday?

Speaker 2:
[07:36] Don't even get me started.

Speaker 1:
[07:38] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 8:
[07:39] I'm not here for this technology shit.

Speaker 1:
[07:41] I was like, why the fuck y'all ain't just in the Zoom link or the fucking conference call shit. Y'all want me to do what? I merged... I FaceTime my homeboy. He wonder why I'm FaceTime. I'm like, hold on. I'm trying to FaceTime.

Speaker 2:
[07:51] No.

Speaker 1:
[07:52] I'm trying to just merge. I'm like, hold on. That shit took me five minutes just to fucking merge a call.

Speaker 2:
[07:56] I felt it like five years ago, the technology was passing me by. Why don't you stand over there? Why don't you stand right over there?

Speaker 1:
[08:05] I want everybody to see her snap back. That's all I was.

Speaker 8:
[08:09] Y'all said it. That's all I was. Y'all said it.

Speaker 1:
[08:14] That's the whole...

Speaker 2:
[08:15] She walked right in front of my camera, too.

Speaker 8:
[08:18] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[08:20] Nothing. I didn't eat no fucking sugar.

Speaker 8:
[08:22] I see you.

Speaker 2:
[08:23] I see you back to wearing stripes. I see you back to wearing stripes.

Speaker 8:
[08:29] You gotta get it back if you're wearing stripes now.

Speaker 2:
[08:32] Uh-huh.

Speaker 8:
[08:33] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[08:34] With all due respect. With all due respect.

Speaker 1:
[08:36] Taylor's a shame, bro. We was talking...

Speaker 2:
[08:38] What type of mermaid would Taylor be?

Speaker 7:
[08:40] Excuse me?

Speaker 8:
[08:42] What type of mermaid would you think?

Speaker 2:
[08:43] What'd you say?

Speaker 7:
[08:44] I'll be a big one.

Speaker 1:
[08:46] Not a little one. Can you tell a little about that mermaid?

Speaker 8:
[08:49] She'll say... This guy right here.

Speaker 1:
[08:54] That's a fucking mother.

Speaker 7:
[08:56] You just mad because I'm...

Speaker 1:
[08:57] I'm thinking that you're not. Cut it out.

Speaker 8:
[09:00] Cut it out.

Speaker 1:
[09:01] There's only one style in here right now. You can be a little pony.

Speaker 8:
[09:04] That's you.

Speaker 11:
[09:06] You're my little pony. You are my little pony.

Speaker 2:
[09:09] You got that for sure.

Speaker 1:
[09:10] Taylor was shaming me. She said, I eat fat. And I'm like, I almost died. I know you didn't, bro. Cut it out. Everybody wants to almost die nowadays. You can almost die or don't. I hate when people do that. I almost died. Who the fuck you did it?

Speaker 2:
[09:27] Why can't we almost die?

Speaker 1:
[09:28] Because, man, we know what almost death looks like, all right?

Speaker 2:
[09:31] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1:
[09:32] You didn't almost die.

Speaker 2:
[09:33] I saw someone trying to catch it a drop or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[09:35] You see what I'm saying? But I didn't run in the building, but I almost died.

Speaker 2:
[09:39] You could have been respected. We would have respected you if you did.

Speaker 1:
[09:43] No, that's too dramatic.

Speaker 2:
[09:44] I know. You're not a drama queen. Oh!

Speaker 1:
[09:46] Boss said he didn't even say he almost died. He got shot.

Speaker 2:
[09:48] Where did he get shot?

Speaker 1:
[09:49] He said in the leg. Everybody was saying in the ass, but he got shot in the leg.

Speaker 2:
[09:53] Getting shot in the ass, that shit is super gay.

Speaker 1:
[09:56] Yeah, no.

Speaker 2:
[09:57] Imagine someone pulls out a pistol, you just poke your ass out of it.

Speaker 1:
[10:00] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[10:01] Oh!

Speaker 1:
[10:02] He shot me in the ass! No, I think it's gay to shoot him. Why are you aiming for my ass, bro?

Speaker 2:
[10:06] Because they want more holes in there. I need to poke that thing multiple ways.

Speaker 1:
[10:12] I'm going to make my own hole. If you make your own hole in some cheeks, you're digging it the same day.

Speaker 12:
[10:19] That's just...

Speaker 2:
[10:21] How does a mermaid shit? We never even figured that out.

Speaker 1:
[10:24] How do fishes shit?

Speaker 2:
[10:25] I know how fishes shit.

Speaker 1:
[10:26] How do fishes shit, mermaids shit the same way?

Speaker 2:
[10:28] So you're saying a mermaid got a little booty hole? Because mermaids are easily...

Speaker 1:
[10:34] They're clearly a vagina too if they're breathing. You gotta believe in mermaid, right?

Speaker 2:
[10:39] No, no.

Speaker 1:
[10:40] Get the fuck out of here. How do y'all not believe in mermaid?

Speaker 2:
[10:43] Maybe they existed once in the Chinese Edamard.

Speaker 1:
[10:45] Listen...

Speaker 2:
[10:47] What do the Chinese not eat, Chris? Can you tell me one thing that the Chinese go, we draw the line right here?

Speaker 1:
[10:52] Pussy. That's why they like being in Jamaica. That's why they like buying up all the property in Jamaica right now. I'm here finally in a land that we don't have to eat pussy. Okay? That's what it is, Chris.

Speaker 2:
[11:07] Yo, do you think the Jamaicans are coming around? Like, is there like a progressive Jamaican movement where they eat box?

Speaker 1:
[11:12] No, Jamaican women been telling you that them guys been lying. I don't even know what the flex is about that. We don't eat boom, boom, okay, okay, and more for us. Yeah. Like, why is that a flex to y'all?

Speaker 7:
[11:22] It's not real anymore.

Speaker 1:
[11:24] It's never been real. You share a blunt, but wouldn't eat pussy? You share a joint, but wouldn't eat pussy?

Speaker 2:
[11:31] Yeah, that's a good ass.

Speaker 1:
[11:31] You understand what I'm saying? What is your, by the way, I don't know what Jamaican's reasonings historically have been. I'm sure I've asked a couple in my lifetime, but I don't remember.

Speaker 2:
[11:40] That is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[11:41] Did you find a little crying mermaid?

Speaker 7:
[11:43] I thought I did, but it wasn't that.

Speaker 1:
[11:44] You gotta see this shit. The eyes on this thing, man.

Speaker 2:
[11:47] But I, wait, should I get it up or what?

Speaker 1:
[11:50] I don't know if you're gonna be able to find it, but the problem was it was a bunch of fishermen. One of them was holding the mermaid up like this, like holding them up. The mermaid is terrified, crying for his life. Can't believe how he even ended up in this situation. You just swimming minding your business in the ocean. These got a net out of whatever and they catch you. And they're just holding this shit up and all of them are like, yeah, look at this, throw this shit back in the water. Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[12:13] Yeah, cause mama's gonna come and then it's gonna be a problem.

Speaker 1:
[12:15] I mean.

Speaker 2:
[12:15] What's she gonna do about it?

Speaker 1:
[12:17] What's she gonna do? Well, you never know. We don't know what kind of powers they got.

Speaker 2:
[12:20] What's she gonna do about it?

Speaker 1:
[12:22] I just wanna know how he got away from his tribe. I can't believe y'all don't believe in mermaid.

Speaker 2:
[12:26] No, I'm not against mermaids. What I'm surprised by is that whales aren't violent.

Speaker 7:
[12:32] They are.

Speaker 2:
[12:32] Not whales.

Speaker 1:
[12:33] That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Speaker 7:
[12:35] Killer whales are very violent.

Speaker 2:
[12:37] Those are the only ones.

Speaker 1:
[12:39] And they don't harm. They do that for food.

Speaker 2:
[12:41] And I don't even think killer whales eat humans. I don't think they do it only inside SeaWorld. I think outside of that, they never attack humans. It's dead ass.

Speaker 11:
[12:49] I don't think it will attack nobody.

Speaker 2:
[12:51] So what I'm saying is, there's this species of mammal, the whales, they are constantly being attacked and hunted by human beings. And yet they are not violent. They're completely passive. They never hurt the human beings. They could probably knock over every single boat that exists. Oh no.

Speaker 1:
[13:09] Come on, man. Look how sad that looks. Look how pitiful that mermaid looks, yo. Chris, don't have to fuck you rolling your eyes, Chris. That is clearly real. Everything ain't AI, guys.

Speaker 2:
[13:19] No, put that back, man. That's not nice.

Speaker 8:
[13:22] Oh, no.

Speaker 10:
[13:25] That is kind of sad.

Speaker 2:
[13:27] You can't do aquafina like that, man.

Speaker 1:
[13:29] Put it back in the fucking water.

Speaker 8:
[13:31] Put aquafina back, man.

Speaker 2:
[13:33] No, bro.

Speaker 1:
[13:35] Now, I'm not going to lie, that'll probably get eaten because if you look at the body, it's all fish almost. You know what I'm saying? You get rid of their head.

Speaker 2:
[13:45] I thought it was going to be more human, to be honest.

Speaker 1:
[13:48] That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:
[13:49] It's mostly fish.

Speaker 1:
[13:50] You get rid of their head and their arms. You're like, there's really nothing to do with that, but eat it.

Speaker 2:
[13:54] Yeah, you eating that one.

Speaker 1:
[13:55] Put that little baby back, man. Oh, that pissed me off so bad. Why do humans always got to fuck with everything, man? Leave that shit alone. Put that thing back in the water.

Speaker 7:
[14:05] They have multiple, I'm looking, they have multiple videos, but it's different.

Speaker 1:
[14:10] No, we don't need it.

Speaker 7:
[14:11] I guess there's the same person, but holding a different mermaid.

Speaker 1:
[14:15] Because they're trying to throw you off. Let me tell you something about AI. This is my theory about AI. AI has been around forever.

Speaker 2:
[14:23] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[14:24] There's probably so many things we saw that we thought were real, but was actually AI the whole time.

Speaker 2:
[14:29] Like?

Speaker 1:
[14:31] Just name something. I mean, the regular things that we saw, that we were just looking at like, oh shit, that was wild. It was probably AI this whole time. If they gave us the technology now, They've been had it. They've been sitting on this shit, bro. We saw the shit that they got, the shit that can detect your heartbeat, they can identify you by your heartbeat, bro.

Speaker 2:
[14:50] That shit is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[14:51] What the, what are we talking about?

Speaker 2:
[14:52] That shit is crazy.

Speaker 1:
[14:53] You think they just came up with this shit?

Speaker 2:
[14:55] No, it's like duct tape. Like, duct tape NASA had way before they gave it to us. I'm not even trying to catch you. If you look at the old, you look at the old spaceships, it was basically duct tape. And then they probably got a better tape and now we get the duct tape.

Speaker 1:
[15:11] Y'all still believe in that space shit?

Speaker 2:
[15:13] Say again?

Speaker 1:
[15:13] Y'all still believe in that space shit?

Speaker 2:
[15:16] Man, get me out of here. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 7:
[15:19] I'm just telling you, that's the-

Speaker 1:
[15:21] This is just to throw us off.

Speaker 8:
[15:22] No, no, no, get me out of here.

Speaker 2:
[15:23] I don't even like looking at it.

Speaker 1:
[15:24] Remember when Tom Hanks that mermaid? Remember Splash? Y'all don't remember Splash with Daryl Hanna?

Speaker 2:
[15:29] No, I do remember the movie, but I never watched it.

Speaker 1:
[15:31] That was crazy to me. Cause I'm like, yo, Daryl Hanna was good looking for her time, right? Like that was with the 80s. You know what I mean? I guess that was a good looking white woman.

Speaker 2:
[15:40] You could just say she's good looking. Why don't you just stamp that?

Speaker 1:
[15:45] Cause over time, you seem better.

Speaker 2:
[15:46] You gotta put a time period on it.

Speaker 1:
[15:47] So over time, you seem better of that version.

Speaker 2:
[15:50] Yeah, I guess people do get more attractive.

Speaker 1:
[15:52] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[15:52] Teeth from the 70s were wild. It's crazy what we put up with. Have you seen teeth from the 70s? Even major actors, you see them on a billboard with their regular teeth. It's insanity, right? They didn't care about teeth. Back in the day, they didn't care about teeth.

Speaker 1:
[16:10] No, but they didn't have veneers and shit yet back then.

Speaker 2:
[16:12] I know.

Speaker 1:
[16:13] They didn't have veneers and shit back then. But remember when he used to, I would always think about, yo, how trash were the women on land that he fell for a fucking mermaid, yo?

Speaker 2:
[16:23] I get that. I get that a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[16:26] It's exotic.

Speaker 2:
[16:26] Because I don't think mermaids had periods because the sharks would eat them. So now you found a woman that doesn't menstruate. So you basically get 25% of your month back.

Speaker 1:
[16:35] And clearly no gag reflex.

Speaker 2:
[16:36] None.

Speaker 1:
[16:37] They can suck you off for hours.

Speaker 2:
[16:39] Hours.

Speaker 1:
[16:39] They don't even gotta breathe.

Speaker 2:
[16:40] They don't even gotta breathe, they got gills. So you really, he really, he really maximizes if you're thinking about it. He really maximizes.

Speaker 1:
[16:49] But do you have to get head under water though?

Speaker 2:
[16:51] No, no, you can bring them up.

Speaker 1:
[16:52] Cause they can't, oh no, she can't breathe on land.

Speaker 2:
[16:54] As long as their gills are under water.

Speaker 1:
[16:56] Ooh, that's fire. It's on the edge of the pool.

Speaker 2:
[16:59] You put her in the bath, you sit on the toilet.

Speaker 1:
[17:02] Ooh, y'all ain't never watched Splash?

Speaker 2:
[17:04] What? You put her in the bath, you sit on the toilet, you get that suck.

Speaker 1:
[17:08] Y'all never watched Splash?

Speaker 2:
[17:09] I never watched Splash.

Speaker 1:
[17:10] Splash, yo, you gotta watch Splash. Tom Hanks, Down Hand, man, go watch the goat.

Speaker 2:
[17:14] Yo, is Tom Hanks the goat though?

Speaker 1:
[17:15] Yes, I told y'all this already.

Speaker 2:
[17:17] No, but like we never bring him up in terms of every- Who? But I go like, oh, Denzel is my goat. Or like, oh, Leo's the goat. He's never kind of brought up in that discussion.

Speaker 1:
[17:28] I've been saying Tom Hanks is the greatest actor of all time.

Speaker 2:
[17:31] He might be, man.

Speaker 7:
[17:32] You really think so?

Speaker 8:
[17:33] Tom Hanks?

Speaker 7:
[17:35] Compared to Leonardo DiCaprio?

Speaker 1:
[17:37] Washes Leo. Come on, man.

Speaker 2:
[17:38] How many cartoons Leo got?

Speaker 1:
[17:40] Tom's gills.

Speaker 2:
[17:42] How many cartoons Leo got? Tom Hanks got Toy Story that really shifts on everything else.

Speaker 1:
[17:47] Pull up Tom Hanks' cataclysm. Pull up Tom Hanks' cataclysm.

Speaker 2:
[17:49] Run the Tom Hanks catalog.

Speaker 7:
[17:51] You've done this before, haven't you?

Speaker 1:
[17:53] I've knuckled with Tom Hanks. It's not even close, yo. This is Tom fucking Hanks talking about, bro.

Speaker 2:
[17:57] Is it because we haven't seen him give an emotional performance since?

Speaker 1:
[18:02] Since what? There's not too many Tom Hanks movies you're gonna watch and don't cry.

Speaker 2:
[18:08] No, no, I'm talking about what he did with Forrest Gump or what he did.

Speaker 1:
[18:11] Cry, tears.

Speaker 2:
[18:12] No, I know.

Speaker 1:
[18:13] Castaway, tears.

Speaker 8:
[18:15] Big, tears.

Speaker 2:
[18:16] Castaway was five. A Man from Otto, tears. Yo, that movie?

Speaker 1:
[18:20] See, I told you.

Speaker 8:
[18:21] That movie right there?

Speaker 1:
[18:24] Did you cry?

Speaker 2:
[18:25] What do you mean, did I?

Speaker 1:
[18:26] Did you? Man, what you mean, did I? This motherfucker falls out on his bed, face down, ass up, and you cry, bro. You cry.

Speaker 2:
[18:36] No, the scene that got me was when the younger version of him took the girl that he was interested on a date, and then she ordered an entree and he didn't order anything.

Speaker 1:
[18:47] Oh, because he couldn't afford it.

Speaker 2:
[18:48] And then she's like, why aren't you having anything? He's like, I ate already. And then she says something, she pushes back again. She's like, but why don't you just order something? And she's like, well, I wanted to make sure that you could get whatever you wanted.

Speaker 1:
[19:04] Come on, man. Tom Hanks got a new movie out now that I ain't watch yet. It's on Apple.

Speaker 2:
[19:08] Which one?

Speaker 1:
[19:09] I can't remember the name of it, but I saw it. That's it right there, Taylor. What is that you pulled up?

Speaker 7:
[19:15] I didn't mean to push it.

Speaker 1:
[19:17] No, just pull up Tom Hanks' movies. Tom Hanks' movies. Just pull up Tom Hanks. But why he went to Rotten Tomatoes? Why y'all think Leo got anything on Tom Hanks, bro?

Speaker 7:
[19:28] He's a great actor.

Speaker 2:
[19:29] No, Leo's nice. He's fucking nice, but he just might not have it on Tom.

Speaker 1:
[19:34] Everybody got a daddy, bro.

Speaker 2:
[19:36] And Tom is daddy, huh?

Speaker 1:
[19:37] Tom is motherfucker's daddy. I don't even know where to start with Tom. I can start with motherfucking Philadelphia. Before that, it was Sleepless in Seattle. He got classics like Turner and Hooch. Wow. Big fire. I said that already. The man with one red suit, splash, phenomenal. Okay. Angels and demons, Da Vinci Code. Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump. Inferno. Big. Come on, man. What was that shit called? What was the joint for the King movie called? He played Mr. Rogers.

Speaker 7:
[20:12] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[20:13] Was he Apollo 13?

Speaker 1:
[20:14] He was in Apollo 13, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Come on, man.

Speaker 7:
[20:18] The man with the red, with one red shoe.

Speaker 1:
[20:20] The man with the one red shoe.

Speaker 2:
[20:21] I don't know.

Speaker 10:
[20:22] That's what I just...

Speaker 1:
[20:22] Sully.

Speaker 2:
[20:24] I didn't fuck with Sully.

Speaker 1:
[20:25] You didn't fuck with Sully? Come on, you had to fuck with Sully.

Speaker 10:
[20:27] Saving Prioryne.

Speaker 1:
[20:28] Saving Prioryne.

Speaker 2:
[20:29] God, man.

Speaker 1:
[20:31] Stop with Tom Hanks, man. The green mile.

Speaker 10:
[20:35] Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:
[20:36] Stop playing with Tom fucking Hanks, bro. They know it's nobody better. And it's one thing to be a great actor. It's another to be in so many great films.

Speaker 2:
[20:45] I mean, to shoot at this percent.

Speaker 1:
[20:47] That's what I'm saying. There's a lot of great actors. Like Denzel is a great actor, but every film Denzel has been in isn't great.

Speaker 2:
[20:54] Denzel hits at a high percentage. Leo hits at a high percentage. They do. The real greats barely flop.

Speaker 7:
[20:59] I want to see Denzel experiment more.

Speaker 2:
[21:01] Say what?

Speaker 7:
[21:02] I want to see him experiment more. I feel like he plays the same person that I like.

Speaker 2:
[21:06] When he does experiment, he wins the Oscar.

Speaker 1:
[21:09] Yes.

Speaker 7:
[21:09] No, for sure.

Speaker 1:
[21:10] I'm agreeing with you.

Speaker 2:
[21:11] I'm like, every time he steps out of the prototypical Denzel role, he's celebrated for it.

Speaker 1:
[21:17] There's been two roles that Denzel has played to me that I didn't see Denzel. Malcolm X and Training Day.

Speaker 2:
[21:25] Training Day.

Speaker 1:
[21:27] Everything else, there's a lot of Denzel. John Q, John Q.

Speaker 2:
[21:30] Man, John Q will make you cry, bro.

Speaker 7:
[21:33] Every single time.

Speaker 2:
[21:35] When he pulls that fucking trigger and it doesn't go off.

Speaker 1:
[21:38] The reason I put John Q in there is because I don't feel like Denzel would ever be in a situation where he's desperate like that.

Speaker 2:
[21:46] What's the file?

Speaker 1:
[21:46] You gonna do what the I told you to do? You gonna give my son this hard time?

Speaker 7:
[21:49] The worst movie Denzel's been in for me right now is The Higher Learning or something, with ASAP.

Speaker 1:
[21:55] That shit was good.

Speaker 7:
[21:55] That was, that was so good.

Speaker 1:
[21:57] Everybody says that, I didn't agree with that. I watched it.

Speaker 7:
[22:00] So wait, you need to make me understand the ending. Cause what was that where they split the screen and you see Denzel like listening to his song. But was that like this imaginary or I'm mad confused.

Speaker 1:
[22:12] I like that movie. Everybody said that shit was wack. I thought it was, I thought it was dope.

Speaker 2:
[22:17] Now what was the movie that-

Speaker 1:
[22:19] What was so bad about it? I'm saying what was the-

Speaker 7:
[22:21] First of all, Denzel was playing like this wannabe like-

Speaker 2:
[22:24] Man on Fire.

Speaker 1:
[22:26] That was good.

Speaker 7:
[22:28] Hip hop old person.

Speaker 1:
[22:30] It was-

Speaker 2:
[22:30] That movie was-

Speaker 1:
[22:31] Man on Fire was dope.

Speaker 8:
[22:33] Man on Fire?

Speaker 1:
[22:34] He wasn't a hip hop old person. He was a mogul. He was a-

Speaker 7:
[22:37] Yeah, and he was just, it was terrible.

Speaker 1:
[22:39] He was, and the new movie with the shit with Asap Rocky, he's a music mogul. Asap grew up idolizing him basically. Asap wanted to be signed to him, but Asap ends up kidnapping his child and holding him for ransom.

Speaker 7:
[22:55] Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1:
[22:56] Like that's, I didn't see what was wrong with the movie. I enjoyed it.

Speaker 7:
[23:00] That's the summary, everybody. The acting and everything was trash.

Speaker 1:
[23:03] Not from Denzel, not even from Asap. Everybody told me that movie was trash. I watched it and I was like, this shit was not, nowhere near as bad as people thought it was.

Speaker 2:
[23:11] Yeah, but the bar was low because everybody said it was ass.

Speaker 1:
[23:14] I thought it was cool. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the movie.

Speaker 2:
[23:17] The true test-

Speaker 7:
[23:18] The biting on the tree, that shit was not even believable.

Speaker 2:
[23:21] The true test to a movie being fantastic is when everybody tells you it's fantastic and your cynical ass goes in wanting to prove them all wrong and you still love it. Because once you tell me a movie is amazing, I'm going in there like these motherfuckers don't know shit about cinema. And then if it blows me away, I'm like, all right, you got it.

Speaker 9:
[23:41] This is incredible.

Speaker 1:
[23:42] Hey, man. I enjoyed the Denzel and ASAP movie. I don't know what-

Speaker 2:
[23:47] Even your tone right now is like, you're different for enjoying it.

Speaker 1:
[23:50] Yes, I didn't, I'm like, I'm really trying to figure out what was so bad about it. I've seen some bad movies.

Speaker 7:
[23:56] Andrew, please watch it.

Speaker 8:
[23:57] I'ma watch it.

Speaker 2:
[23:59] I'm not gonna do it.

Speaker 1:
[23:59] What's so bad about it, Alex?

Speaker 2:
[24:01] Because I can't get those hours back.

Speaker 1:
[24:03] Why not? What's so bad about it?

Speaker 10:
[24:07] It was the director.

Speaker 2:
[24:08] Who directed?

Speaker 7:
[24:09] The director.

Speaker 10:
[24:10] It was Spike Lee.

Speaker 7:
[24:11] It was Spike Lee.

Speaker 10:
[24:12] It didn't look premiere. Like it looked like-

Speaker 7:
[24:15] The background was trash.

Speaker 8:
[24:16] What was the name of it?

Speaker 10:
[24:18] Hired.

Speaker 7:
[24:18] Hired.

Speaker 2:
[24:21] Oh, Hired Saloes. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7:
[24:23] The background of it was trash.

Speaker 10:
[24:25] You could tell.

Speaker 2:
[24:26] The background.

Speaker 7:
[24:27] Yeah, it's like the scenery.

Speaker 2:
[24:28] But Spike needs a banger, bro. Spike is nasty, but he needs another banger.

Speaker 1:
[24:33] I enjoyed it.

Speaker 7:
[24:34] It wasn't that one.

Speaker 2:
[24:35] No, I know.

Speaker 8:
[24:35] What I'm saying is like.

Speaker 1:
[24:37] I'm not saying it was a banger, but I enjoyed it. It was a good watch.

Speaker 7:
[24:40] So what are you rating it?

Speaker 2:
[24:40] What's the last Spike banger?

Speaker 1:
[24:42] Out of what? One out of 10?

Speaker 7:
[24:43] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[24:45] Hold on. We're having two different comments.

Speaker 1:
[24:46] Crong, six maybe.

Speaker 2:
[24:47] All right, six is fine.

Speaker 7:
[24:48] I'm giving it a four.

Speaker 2:
[24:49] What's the last Spike banger?

Speaker 10:
[24:51] The one when they robbed.

Speaker 2:
[24:52] Inside Man.

Speaker 10:
[24:53] Inside Man.

Speaker 2:
[24:54] Inside Man was one of the best movies I ever seen. It's classic Spike Lee. It's like the New York characters bleed through the screen.

Speaker 1:
[25:01] You know 50 was going to name Diddy's doctor shit?

Speaker 2:
[25:08] You didn't hear that?

Speaker 1:
[25:09] He's going to name it Inside Man. You didn't know that? Y'all didn't know that? That's crazy. Y'all didn't know that. What was so good about it?

Speaker 2:
[25:20] You're crazy. You never saw it with Clive Owen?

Speaker 10:
[25:24] Oh, it's really good.

Speaker 2:
[25:26] First of all, the script is genius. Like genius. The twist is fantastic. And then it's just classic Spike. Like every scene is just amazingly shot and like perfect tension. And like Spike does this thing with New York characters specifically, where like the cop will be the most New York guy. The guy at the Halal stand will like, you'll feel like they're not an actor. Like they actually worked the Halal stand and he hired him. So anyway, that's his zone for me. But I want to see something like that from Spike.

Speaker 1:
[25:56] How many bangers do you need though? And what I mean by that is-

Speaker 2:
[25:59] As a director or as an actor?

Speaker 1:
[26:00] Yeah, either. We say Spike needs a banger, but it's like-

Speaker 2:
[26:03] Director, you need one.

Speaker 1:
[26:04] You're only as hot as your last shit, right?

Speaker 2:
[26:06] Yeah, but director, you need one. And then if your last shit flops, they'll give you one more shot. And if that shit flops, you're pretty much out the game. But if you have like three or four hit, you could miss for a few and you still get opportunity.

Speaker 1:
[26:18] Would you rather have one universally, you know, known classic, or would you rather have a Tom Hanks catalog? Cause that can work against you sometime. Your catalog can be so great that people forget how good you are.

Speaker 2:
[26:32] We expect it.

Speaker 1:
[26:33] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[26:34] We expect it to be good.

Speaker 1:
[26:36] Straight up. Would you rather have that one? Cause I think about somebody like Lauryn Hill, right? Miseducation Lauryn Hill. One phenomenal classic album. But then you think about somebody like Mary J. Blige, who has an extensive catalog, you kind of take her for granted.

Speaker 2:
[26:53] Yeah, I guess it depends.

Speaker 1:
[26:56] They put Lauryn on the pedestal I think Mary should be on.

Speaker 2:
[27:00] Did you? Well, it depends what you want. It's like, is your goal in life to perfect a thing? Or is your goal in life to continue creating? Because if your goal in life creatively is to perfect a thing, and then you do that, then you did it. You accomplish your goal. Like everything after that is gravy. If your goal in life is to continuously create, then Tom's career without a doubt is like, whew, come on. But like, Lauryn put out an undeniable classic out there. Most human beings that create things, not just music, will never be able to replicate.

Speaker 9:
[27:30] But she didn't release anything else. That's what makes her different. I can't even then compare that to her other shit. There is no other shit.

Speaker 2:
[27:38] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 9:
[27:39] She literally never released anything.

Speaker 1:
[27:40] That's a good point.

Speaker 9:
[27:41] She didn't unplug with MTV a couple years ago. There's no precedent of someone releasing an album which was that successful commercially and critically and then just never doing anything else.

Speaker 10:
[27:52] Andre 3000? No.

Speaker 9:
[27:54] He's put out a solo album.

Speaker 1:
[27:56] You never put out a solo album?

Speaker 10:
[27:58] I mean, but the dual album was kind of a solo album.

Speaker 1:
[28:00] But no, Andre had a bunch of body work. He had a bunch of people without a ass.

Speaker 9:
[28:03] Well, you could say Lauryn has that with the food TV.

Speaker 1:
[28:06] Sort of, kind of. Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 9:
[28:08] That's not a bad comparison.

Speaker 1:
[28:10] But I like what you're saying, though, because maybe that's why we take people for granted, right? Because you start comparing. They're competing with themselves at that point.

Speaker 9:
[28:18] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[28:19] So you start comparing them to things that they're doing. And if they try something, like, let's say Tom Hanks comes out with a new movie, or Mary J. Blige, or Denzel came out with this movie that y'all don't think is that good. So now you start discrediting all his other stuff just because your last impression was this.

Speaker 2:
[28:33] It's McDonald's, bro. It's like, it's McDonald's, or it's Chick-fil-A, or it's whatever. It's like, if you have a Big Mac, right? Imagine you never had one in your life and you have a Big Mac. That Big Mac will be better than, like, 99% of the burgers you will have at restaurants around the world. It really will. Like, you can have a burger at a restaurant that's like, oh, this bun is mad dry, or like, I don't like the fucking star, this is plain, or it's whatever. It's restaurant, not fast food, so you put it in a different category. But in terms of, like, you eating it and you actually being satisfied by the experience, you're like, the Big Mac does the job, but because no matter where you go on the planet, you can get that same tasting Big Mac, we don't even put it in the category of food.

Speaker 1:
[29:17] It's because, well, also, you get to a certain-

Speaker 2:
[29:19] McDonald's, sorry to cut you, McDonald's fries. McDonald's fries are better.

Speaker 8:
[29:23] Then 99% of fries you're gonna get in any restaurant.

Speaker 9:
[29:26] Yeah, but they're also not fries.

Speaker 2:
[29:29] Like, you know, a mermaid ain't, you know.

Speaker 1:
[29:31] What do you mean, they're not fries?

Speaker 9:
[29:32] It's cardboard and perfume, basically.

Speaker 1:
[29:34] They don't use real potatoes?

Speaker 2:
[29:36] Of course, they do. This motherfucker is me.

Speaker 9:
[29:39] Fast Food Nation breaks it down.

Speaker 1:
[29:41] Back in my day, they used to use real potatoes. And what was that shit you used to cook them with? The Malcolm Gladwell had a great podcast on it, on revisionist history.

Speaker 8:
[29:48] What was that shit, Chris?

Speaker 2:
[29:49] I thought I just eat it until my toes fall off.

Speaker 8:
[29:50] I thought I just had-

Speaker 1:
[29:51] They used to cook them in trans fat?

Speaker 8:
[29:52] I thought I'd do what Americans do.

Speaker 1:
[29:54] What was this trans? It wasn't, you know, trans fat?

Speaker 2:
[29:56] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[29:57] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[29:57] It's going to transition my feet into off my body. That's what it's going to do.

Speaker 1:
[30:02] It's trans fat. It's really oil, but it identifies as like something else.

Speaker 2:
[30:06] Delicious.

Speaker 1:
[30:07] But think about it. We'll never eat McDonald's the same ever again.

Speaker 2:
[30:12] Wait, what do you mean by that?

Speaker 1:
[30:13] Just think about being a child and begging your parents for McDonald's, and they'd be like, we got McDonald's at the house, but then you might end up going to get something from McDonald's and that shit used to just taste different in the 80s. Tastes different in the 90s, bro.

Speaker 2:
[30:27] Tell me, if we're being honest here, you go to a fucking restaurant, a nice restaurant, and you have French fries there, are they more satisfying than McDonald's fries?

Speaker 1:
[30:37] No, our Chick-fil-A fries.

Speaker 2:
[30:39] But we don't even put McDonald's fries in the conversation of Best French Fries because it's fast food.

Speaker 1:
[30:45] They tell us we're not supposed to, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[30:46] But this is to your point about when you have a body of work that's so consistent, we take it for granted.

Speaker 1:
[30:51] Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2:
[30:52] I would even go like, McDonald's might be underrated. Like even the Sunday at McDonald's.

Speaker 7:
[31:01] The McFlurries?

Speaker 1:
[31:02] Right?

Speaker 8:
[31:05] You go have ice cream somewhere else. Not better than the McFlurries?

Speaker 1:
[31:08] The McFlurries fire, the Oreo McFlurries, but the regular vanilla sundae with the chocolate fudge and the nuts on it.

Speaker 8:
[31:14] Tell me when you go get the fancy ice cream for $10, it's waiting on line in the street of New York. You think it's better than that? Okay, here we go. Apple pie.

Speaker 1:
[31:24] Yeah, man.

Speaker 8:
[31:25] The apple pie from McDonald's. Tell me when you're at a restaurant.

Speaker 7:
[31:28] My mother's apple pie is way much better.

Speaker 8:
[31:29] Your mom is built different and she's not doing it around the world in every single country. Exactly the same.

Speaker 1:
[31:37] Yeah, man. Last time I had McDonald's, I was leaving a little duvall comedy show. This was years ago.

Speaker 8:
[31:43] When we were in DC.

Speaker 1:
[31:44] No, this was, he was in New Brunswick at Vinny's factory. And man, for some reason, I think I took a puff of Duvall's weed and I got the munchies and something said, I want fucking McDonald's. And I went to McDonald's and got the two double cheeseburgers.

Speaker 2:
[32:03] I never went Big Mac.

Speaker 8:
[32:04] With fries.

Speaker 1:
[32:05] And two apple pies.

Speaker 2:
[32:07] Barbecue sauce went perfect with it.

Speaker 7:
[32:08] What about the chicken nuggets, though?

Speaker 2:
[32:10] I never fuck with the nuggets. I never fuck with nuggets.

Speaker 7:
[32:13] Wendy's has better chicken nuggets, though.

Speaker 2:
[32:14] I would agree.

Speaker 1:
[32:16] Wendy's got great french fries on the low, too.

Speaker 7:
[32:18] They used to. When they changed it to the red, the red, um, was it the red french fries holder?

Speaker 1:
[32:25] They were shit. Still a flap.

Speaker 7:
[32:27] No. When they had the yellow brand. Red what? The french fries holder.

Speaker 1:
[32:30] You wasn't alive when they had the yellow brand.

Speaker 3:
[32:32] Yes, I was.

Speaker 6:
[32:33] You were only 34.

Speaker 7:
[32:34] How would I know about it?

Speaker 1:
[32:36] Instagram. You were only 34.

Speaker 7:
[32:38] No.

Speaker 1:
[32:38] You was alive for the yellow brand?

Speaker 7:
[32:40] Yes. How would you think I am?

Speaker 1:
[32:43] I'm saying all that to say, I'm saying all that to say shout out to Crystal. Crystal is where you really want to go get your best.

Speaker 2:
[32:50] Shout out Crystal.

Speaker 1:
[32:51] They got one in Orangeburg, South Carolina. That's phenomenal. One in Walterboro, South Carolina. That's phenomenal.

Speaker 8:
[32:56] You got a Crystal.

Speaker 7:
[32:57] Shout out to KFC in Jamaica.

Speaker 1:
[32:59] That's KFC fired too. I never went to one in Jamaica. I went to the one in.

Speaker 2:
[33:05] Iceland.

Speaker 1:
[33:06] No.

Speaker 7:
[33:06] It was another island. It's still going to taste good. It's still going to taste good because however they make it.

Speaker 8:
[33:11] Go to KFC in a country where they care about their people.

Speaker 7:
[33:14] Right.

Speaker 2:
[33:14] And there's rules and what goes in the food. Oh my God. KFC in Iceland is crazy.

Speaker 10:
[33:20] No, but you know what's crazy? I went to one in Barcelona. They have the American chicken or chicken. And so the American KFC chicken, it's way saltier than what they get. You can choose American fried or just regular.

Speaker 7:
[33:34] Where?

Speaker 8:
[33:34] Which did you prefer?

Speaker 10:
[33:36] Theirs, because ours is crazy salty.

Speaker 7:
[33:39] Where was it said?

Speaker 10:
[33:40] In Barcelona.

Speaker 7:
[33:40] Really?

Speaker 2:
[33:42] They'll give you that choice.

Speaker 1:
[33:44] Have you ever had a turkey fried cock?

Speaker 2:
[33:45] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:47] You ever had that?

Speaker 10:
[33:48] Yeah. Not yet. How was it?

Speaker 2:
[33:51] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:51] I'm just asking. I never had that. I never tried it.

Speaker 2:
[33:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[33:55] I see you licking your lips a little bit.

Speaker 2:
[33:57] Oh, I love me some KFC. I love Mrs. KFC, y'all. I love it, didn't I? And call me the Colonel. Guys, this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. If you have a business, you need a place for it online. Let's be serious, you would never trust a business that didn't have a website attached to it, okay? It looks like a scam otherwise. So if you're looking to grow that business, now you can get fast, easy financing through Squarespace Capital. The application process takes just a few minutes and approval happens in a matter of days. If you're approved, funds will be deposited in your bank account in three to four business days so you can grow quickly. Avoid the hassle of traditional loan processes, okay? And easily access financing through Squarespace Capital. Loans are issued by Celtic Bank and serviced by Stripe. All loans are subject to credit approval. Automatically calculate shipping costs using real-time rates from local carriers based on the destination size and weight of each order. This eliminates manual calculations and avoids over- or under-charging customers for shipping. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code idiots to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And then also, Charlotte, we got... All right, guys, listen. It is almost summer. It's spring into summer, okay? So you know what you need to do. You know what you need to deliver. You've left the house, okay? The groundhog is out, and you need to be out there as well. The future, the future for you, is having the hardest pecker possible. And Bluetooth Gold is changing the way that millions of men are dropping dick off in 2026. They got a new arousal boosting formula, combines passion performance. Let me just tell you what it does, okay? Bluetooth Gold, it gets you rock in 15 minutes or less. Nobody else on the market is doing it. 15 minutes or less, you are rocked up, okay? I can tell you about all the oxytocin for this and that. You don't care. 15 minutes or less, you are ready to go, okay? If it's taking 30 to 45 minutes, who knows? Maybe your chat isn't that good. Maybe you guys realize you don't really have vibe, et cetera. 15 minutes or less, you guys are horny, ready to go and make some action. Make some action. Wrap that thing up. You might need a bigger condom because Bluetooth is gonna have you full, okay? So right now, you get to discover your options at bluetooth.com. And if we scroll up even a little bit more, we've got a special deal for our listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Bluetooth Gold, you get the third for free with the promo code IDIOTS. You go to bluetooth.com, make sure you use that promo code IDIOTS, and you're gonna get that third month for free when you buy those two months, all right? So let's do it. Let's get back to the show. Peace.

Speaker 5:
[36:59] So you're saying with Hilton Honors, I can use points for a free night's stay anywhere?

Speaker 4:
[37:03] Anywhere.

Speaker 5:
[37:04] What about fancy places like the Canopy in Paris?

Speaker 4:
[37:07] Yeah, Hilton Honors, baby.

Speaker 5:
[37:09] Or relaxing sanctuaries like the Conrad and Tulum?

Speaker 4:
[37:12] Hilton Honors, baby.

Speaker 5:
[37:14] What about the five-star Waldorf Astoria in the Maldives? Are you gonna do this for all 9,000 properties?

Speaker 3:
[37:21] When you want points that can take you anywhere, anytime, it matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. Book your spring break now.

Speaker 1:
[37:30] What else we got, Taylor? Let's get into some all-memes matter, Taylor. What is happening this week?

Speaker 2:
[37:34] Nah, that volleyball, the zesty volleyball player, you gotta sign that guy to every NIL deal.

Speaker 1:
[37:41] Haven't seen it.

Speaker 2:
[37:41] This is what we've been waiting for. We need a zesty athlete that dominates.

Speaker 1:
[37:46] What is the volleyball god zesty?

Speaker 2:
[37:48] Well, just watch. I saw this guy. Look at this, man.

Speaker 8:
[37:51] Look.

Speaker 2:
[37:52] No, no, no, you gotta see him slam it.

Speaker 1:
[37:54] He eats that KFC for sure.

Speaker 8:
[37:56] And then he goes, oh.

Speaker 1:
[37:57] Oh, yeah, he eats that KFC for sure. For sure. He likes his cock Kentucky fry.

Speaker 6:
[38:06] Yeah, bye.

Speaker 1:
[38:08] Okay.

Speaker 6:
[38:08] Bye.

Speaker 1:
[38:10] Okay. That's what the I'm talking about, man. That man is not bye. Don't disrespect him. That man is straight.

Speaker 2:
[38:16] Nah.

Speaker 1:
[38:19] That's pure gay.

Speaker 2:
[38:21] But this is what you need.

Speaker 8:
[38:24] This is what we need. Because sports team.

Speaker 1:
[38:26] Why do y'all think he's gay?

Speaker 2:
[38:27] Man, stop.

Speaker 1:
[38:30] I was going along with the joke, but what makes him gay?

Speaker 8:
[38:33] You believe in mermaids, but not that this guy is gay?

Speaker 1:
[38:36] What do you mean? He just seemed passionate to me. Shut up. You know, he's a passion fruit.

Speaker 7:
[38:45] You're so annoying. I love the little head turn afterwards.

Speaker 8:
[38:54] Nah, this is fire, bro. Nah.

Speaker 1:
[38:56] He's passionate, man. What's his name?

Speaker 2:
[39:01] Number two.

Speaker 1:
[39:02] Did they win at least?

Speaker 2:
[39:04] That's fire that his name is number two.

Speaker 8:
[39:08] You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[39:16] Is it like that? Is it numbered, like value meals?

Speaker 8:
[39:18] I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[39:19] One would be a flow chop.

Speaker 2:
[39:21] I just feel like two, he's a top for sure.

Speaker 7:
[39:24] He might be top though.

Speaker 1:
[39:26] He might be top though. Shout out to Homie, man. They even got his next games listed. Oh, his name is Jordan.

Speaker 2:
[39:33] Jordan K. Lucas.

Speaker 1:
[39:35] Jordan K. Lucas. Do your thing, Jordan.

Speaker 2:
[39:38] Get your fucking money, Jordan. You deserve it. You're about to be in internet sensation.

Speaker 1:
[39:41] I'm going to be honest with you. They made him in a lab.

Speaker 2:
[39:43] Of course.

Speaker 1:
[39:44] Yeah, like when I see stuff like this, I'm like, all right, he just ain't come out of nowhere. Just all of a sudden, oh, he killing it. Now go to the one with him with the Chinese fan. That's fire, right there. He played basketball, too? That's the volleyball team.

Speaker 2:
[39:59] That's volleyball. You think he's Hawaiian? I think he might be Hawaiian.

Speaker 1:
[40:04] And he got the pink J's on?

Speaker 2:
[40:07] Yeah, he leaning in.

Speaker 1:
[40:09] Yo, yo, I was born this way, bro. You can't even like, you can't script that. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[40:17] You can't.

Speaker 1:
[40:17] Shout out to Poo Sashi. That's Poo Sashi. Poo Sashi right there. Okay, that's Poo Sashi.

Speaker 8:
[40:26] Work it, Jordan.

Speaker 1:
[40:28] Shout out to Jordan.

Speaker 2:
[40:29] I think he's Hawaiian, man. Hawaii's got a long legacy of phenomenal gay volleyball players.

Speaker 1:
[40:37] Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2:
[40:38] Really? The gays are the best at volleyball out there.

Speaker 1:
[40:40] What you mean? How you figure that?

Speaker 2:
[40:42] It's just the truth. That's what they, they got like a wrist thing. I'm telling you, man.

Speaker 8:
[40:49] They got it.

Speaker 2:
[40:50] Shut the up.

Speaker 8:
[40:51] Ask them, bro.

Speaker 2:
[40:52] They got a whole-

Speaker 1:
[40:53] What you mean they got a wrist thing?

Speaker 2:
[40:55] No, they have a league. They got like a Mahu volleyball league. Really?

Speaker 1:
[41:00] That's dope. I mean, listen, if certain areas can breed basketball players, football players, why not have a place that can breed volleyball players, man?

Speaker 2:
[41:08] I agree.

Speaker 1:
[41:08] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[41:09] I agree with you.

Speaker 1:
[41:10] I ain't mad at it. What else we got, Taylor? Caitlyn Jenner, a hypocrite? What Caitlyn do?

Speaker 8:
[41:15] No. Not Caitlyn.

Speaker 1:
[41:17] What did Caitlyn do, man?

Speaker 8:
[41:18] Not Caitlyn.

Speaker 1:
[41:19] What did Caitlyn do? Let me see. Caitlyn's on with Tommy Lauren. Let me read. Caitlyn can't get no motion, yo.

Speaker 2:
[41:33] She really can't.

Speaker 1:
[41:34] Caitlyn can't get no motion. You know how lame you got to be and you can't get no motion as a Jenner?

Speaker 2:
[41:40] Or a trans?

Speaker 1:
[41:41] You know what I'm saying? You're a trans Jenner. You can't get no fucking motion. How you a trans Jenner and you can't get no motion? He say anything to try to get hot, do anything to try to get hot and can't get hot, yo.

Speaker 2:
[41:54] Nothing.

Speaker 1:
[41:57] What's this trans Jenner talking about?

Speaker 7:
[41:58] So basically, Jenner said that-

Speaker 1:
[42:04] Let me read it, Taylor, because you just want to confuse me. What did it say? Caitlyn Jenner calls self a hypocrite for accepting women of glamour as women of the year. Well, we knew this already. What the are you telling us? We already know first-rate. We knew that.

Speaker 11:
[42:19] Here I am fighting the battle to keep biological men out of women's sports. Okay? Because it's not right. It just is not right. Okay? And I want to protect women. Here I am fighting this battle, keeping biological men out of women's sports. But back when I came out, what did I accept? Glamour's woman of the year award. And I go, what a hypocrite. I'm still ex-wife. What a hypocrite I am. You know, trying to keep biological men out of women's sports, but I'm a biological man and they gave me Glamour's woman of the year award.

Speaker 1:
[42:55] That's not no wild fuck out of you.

Speaker 10:
[42:57] No, I mean, she's trans, being transphobic. She been that?

Speaker 2:
[43:01] She been that. I want to know who's hittin it.

Speaker 1:
[43:08] She's still got a dick.

Speaker 7:
[43:09] She's the one that's hittin it.

Speaker 1:
[43:11] Yeah, she's still got a dick.

Speaker 2:
[43:12] She likes girls?

Speaker 1:
[43:13] That's why I never understood when she first came out, people got mad at me because I said, oh, she's a lesbian.

Speaker 2:
[43:18] Well, yes, she is a lesbian.

Speaker 1:
[43:19] Uh-oh, I would think if you're a woman. If we're recognizing her as a woman, then you're a lesbian. Exactly. So I never understood why people got mad when I said that shit.

Speaker 2:
[43:26] Here's the problem, when you got a lot of estrogen in your system, your dick doesn't get hard easy.

Speaker 1:
[43:32] Does she got estrogen?

Speaker 2:
[43:33] She must if she's taking the hormones to be feminized.

Speaker 1:
[43:36] She's still getting more than wood in the morning, man. You don't think so?

Speaker 2:
[43:39] I think the balls have shriveled, to be totally honest. If she is taking the hormones. Oh, damn. What the hell? Cut the top off.

Speaker 1:
[43:46] It shows over there getting bricked up. I'm excited.

Speaker 8:
[43:48] My bad.

Speaker 2:
[43:49] But yeah, I want to know who's hitting it or who she's hitting, man. Who's she dating? How is that not, is this the only Jenner that we don't know about their sex life?

Speaker 7:
[43:59] No, she comes out with it.

Speaker 8:
[44:01] I care.

Speaker 1:
[44:02] Yo, the men in that family, bro. Like, don't nobody give a fuck about Rob. Like, if you did the motion chart, bro. like from hot to coldness, all the guys are at the bottom.

Speaker 2:
[44:13] All the guys are like low keys. They went through it, man. There might be like a curse.

Speaker 1:
[44:19] We had that. You know, somebody said that to me the other day, but that's not as true as people say it is.

Speaker 2:
[44:24] Talk to me.

Speaker 1:
[44:26] Chris Humphreys owns mad fast food franchises. Like, Chris Humphreys is like caked up somewhere.

Speaker 2:
[44:32] To me, he's not a gender, though.

Speaker 1:
[44:34] So you mean like the biological point?

Speaker 2:
[44:36] I'm talking about like if you got the blood.

Speaker 1:
[44:38] Okay, okay.

Speaker 2:
[44:39] Because I think the curse runs through the blood.

Speaker 1:
[44:42] Well, you know there's a...

Speaker 2:
[44:44] It's a blood curse.

Speaker 1:
[44:45] There's a conspiracy theory that all of the women use Rob. So they got Rob fat and then they started using his fat for like their injections and shit like that.

Speaker 2:
[44:55] Do you know who started that conspiracy theory? Who? A guy named Andrew Schulz on The Brilliant Idiots podcast about a decade ago.

Speaker 1:
[45:01] Holy shit, it was you.

Speaker 9:
[45:04] Holy shit.

Speaker 8:
[45:05] That's how long we've been podcasting, man.

Speaker 1:
[45:07] They made it Rob.

Speaker 12:
[45:08] That's how long we've been podcasting.

Speaker 6:
[45:10] Yo, it might have been you actually.

Speaker 1:
[45:11] No, I don't remember. I don't remember.

Speaker 2:
[45:13] It was one of us though.

Speaker 10:
[45:15] I do remember. We've sat here, but I think it was you, Charlamagne.

Speaker 8:
[45:17] It might have been you.

Speaker 1:
[45:18] You think we made Rob go into hiding? Cause we ain't seen them since, yo.

Speaker 2:
[45:22] Well, they still need it. I think once they stop the injections.

Speaker 7:
[45:25] They ain't not doing it no more, I thought.

Speaker 2:
[45:27] What do you mean what they're not doing?

Speaker 7:
[45:28] I thought they stopped, they're like reducing it, everything.

Speaker 1:
[45:31] Reducing what?

Speaker 7:
[45:32] They're in charge, like Kim got rid of hers.

Speaker 2:
[45:33] Yeah, but they got them in cold storage just in case. It could trend the other way. Fat ass can come back in, and they ain't gonna need that.

Speaker 1:
[45:43] I don't think she lost her ass. Why did you pull up Sophia Hutchins?

Speaker 7:
[45:46] They were together, you said, who was she dating?

Speaker 1:
[45:49] Oh, get the fuck out of here, yo.

Speaker 2:
[45:51] You know who that is, Sophia Hutchins?

Speaker 1:
[45:53] Who is that?

Speaker 2:
[45:55] American socialite. What a title.

Speaker 1:
[45:58] She dates Caitlyn Jenner? That's just Caitlyn Jenner's friend and man. She's dead.

Speaker 2:
[46:02] Oh, man. RIP. See?

Speaker 7:
[46:04] Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:
[46:05] Taylor, she died.

Speaker 2:
[46:07] Hold on.

Speaker 1:
[46:08] I'm not saying this. Hold on. That headline says, Sophia Hutchins, Caitlyn Jenner's friend and manager dead.

Speaker 7:
[46:14] That's not her.

Speaker 1:
[46:16] Click on it.

Speaker 7:
[46:17] Taylor, what's going on? I know.

Speaker 1:
[46:18] What are you doing?

Speaker 7:
[46:19] That's what they showed me.

Speaker 1:
[46:20] Yes, Sophia Hutchins, Caitlyn Jenner's friend and manager dead at 29.

Speaker 7:
[46:23] Oh, no.

Speaker 1:
[46:24] What is wrong with you, Taylor?

Speaker 7:
[46:25] Well, hold on.

Speaker 8:
[46:26] God rest her dead, man.

Speaker 2:
[46:28] God rest her dead.

Speaker 7:
[46:29] Wait. Wait.

Speaker 8:
[46:30] My God.

Speaker 7:
[46:30] Wait. They lived together.

Speaker 8:
[46:32] Jenner's obituary.

Speaker 7:
[46:33] Stop. They lived together, shared a dog and were called often a couple.

Speaker 8:
[46:38] Jenner's obituary. That'd be funny to do. That'd be funny to do. Put the obituary out like when you transition.

Speaker 1:
[46:48] I think you should have to.

Speaker 8:
[46:49] That's heavy.

Speaker 1:
[46:50] Because they say don't call me by my dead name, I think it is.

Speaker 2:
[46:52] It's called dead naming.

Speaker 1:
[46:53] Right, so if my name is dead, then hey. He's dead. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:
[46:57] Killed him.

Speaker 1:
[46:58] You know what I mean? What else we got? What else happened this week, Taylor? What else happened this week?

Speaker 7:
[47:04] Your boy.

Speaker 1:
[47:05] Who's my boy?

Speaker 7:
[47:06] Wants to be Jesus.

Speaker 2:
[47:07] Yo, you gotta stop, bro.

Speaker 1:
[47:10] Pull it up.

Speaker 2:
[47:10] Trump gotta stop.

Speaker 1:
[47:12] Trump wants Trump to-

Speaker 7:
[47:13] He did, so he put this one out, and he had another one out too.

Speaker 1:
[47:16] That's the one he put out. No, this is the funny shit. Hold on.

Speaker 2:
[47:19] He said, I'm a doctor.

Speaker 1:
[47:21] But no, did you hear the story behind this? Pam Bondi came out and said the picture was doctored. So they must have told Trump that the picture was doctored.

Speaker 2:
[47:32] He's retarded. He's definitely retarded. They're like, the picture was doctored. But you know the crazy thing about this picture? Trying to find the original image and then the one he posted, because they got a satanic imagery above him. So that middle figure right there, look at the top figures that are shadowed. The middle figure, they kind of warped to make look like, it kind of looks like this guy ball or whatever like that. I don't know if you've seen that imagery. It's just a regular soldier in the original image. The one he posted got this satanic imagery.

Speaker 1:
[48:02] Wow.

Speaker 2:
[48:03] So, so, what do we think of this?

Speaker 1:
[48:09] I think that everybody's retarded. And-

Speaker 2:
[48:12] Well, that's true.

Speaker 1:
[48:13] When Pam Bondi says this picture was doctored.

Speaker 2:
[48:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at, look at, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not the original. You got to find the original, the OG.

Speaker 1:
[48:22] Hold on. What do you mean to say satanic images? Now I got to fuck it.

Speaker 2:
[48:24] In that one right there.

Speaker 10:
[48:26] That used to just be a regular-

Speaker 2:
[48:28] Soldier.

Speaker 10:
[48:29] Soldier. And they added the little horns.

Speaker 1:
[48:31] So what is this picture right here I'm looking at? Is this the original?

Speaker 2:
[48:33] No.

Speaker 10:
[48:34] No. This is the-

Speaker 2:
[48:35] Doctored image. We could-

Speaker 1:
[48:38] I don't understand when they say doctored.

Speaker 2:
[48:41] Photoshopped.

Speaker 1:
[48:42] Yeah, but we know that. Like, why do we have to say that?

Speaker 2:
[48:45] No, no, meaning there was another image of it.

Speaker 1:
[48:47] No, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is, why did Pam Bondi have to tell us the image was doctored? We know it was doctored. Donald Trump is not Jesus. So what was the point of her saying it's doctored? A doctored photo would be like, if me and you took a picture right now-

Speaker 2:
[49:03] And we put some dicks in it.

Speaker 1:
[49:04] You know what I'm saying? Like, that would be doctored. Why do they have to tell us this was doctored?

Speaker 2:
[49:09] What I think is interesting about this is he took this picture down, right? Immediately when the Christians were upset, he took that shit down and he didn't take the Obama video down that it made them monkeys.

Speaker 1:
[49:22] I mean, the reality is racism is light compared to blasphemy of Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2:
[49:29] I think the reality is, is what's my base care about?

Speaker 1:
[49:31] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[49:33] And I think the reality is like, I don't care if black people are upset about this shit. I care if Christians are upset about this shit.

Speaker 1:
[49:39] Of course, you cater into a racist base, of course.

Speaker 2:
[49:42] I don't think it makes the base racist. I think it makes the base Christian.

Speaker 1:
[49:47] No, I'm not talking about with the Obama, with the monkeys. You have to be catering to the racist in your base to post that and leave it up.

Speaker 2:
[49:53] Or catering to, yes, catering to them there, or not concerned if you piss off black people.

Speaker 1:
[49:57] Of course not, no.

Speaker 2:
[49:58] Yeah, I think both. Yeah, both. Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1:
[50:01] There's a lot of black Christians. You must not know, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 9:
[50:06] You also have to take the religion out of it to me because I don't care if he posts himself as Jesus. I'm not offended by that because I don't believe in Jesus. But the type of-

Speaker 1:
[50:15] Jesus Christ, Chris.

Speaker 9:
[50:17] I don't. But the type of imagery-

Speaker 2:
[50:19] Yeah, you do.

Speaker 9:
[50:20] I don't, but-

Speaker 2:
[50:22] Yeah, you do.

Speaker 9:
[50:23] How?

Speaker 1:
[50:24] I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know what's worse. Posting up, being Jesus or not believing in Jesus. I think not believing in Jesus might be worse, Chris. What do you not believe about Jesus?

Speaker 9:
[50:35] You know, everything.

Speaker 1:
[50:38] Jesus, please forgive him. What do you believe in?

Speaker 2:
[50:41] He knows not what he does, man.

Speaker 8:
[50:43] He's been indoctrinated with Chinese propaganda.

Speaker 2:
[50:45] Say again?

Speaker 8:
[50:46] He's Jewish.

Speaker 9:
[50:47] I grew up in a very Catholic neighborhood, almost 100 percent Catholic. I was one of the few non-Catholic families. I have a very distinctive memory of going to my mother as a young child and being like, who the fuck is this Jesus guy there? He wants to obsess over it.

Speaker 1:
[51:01] That's wild.

Speaker 9:
[51:03] I'll tell you what the conversation was.

Speaker 2:
[51:04] What did she say?

Speaker 9:
[51:05] She said, we killed that motherfucker back there.

Speaker 1:
[51:08] Chill out.

Speaker 2:
[51:09] I'm just saying, that's what his mom said. His mom said they killed him and then blamed it on the Romans.

Speaker 1:
[51:14] God, I don't know what got into them today.

Speaker 2:
[51:17] What you putting me and his little satanic for? I'm telling you what his blasphemous mom said.

Speaker 1:
[51:24] I get what you're saying, but I want to role play that. Don't even put yourself in the Chinese slippers. But go on.

Speaker 9:
[51:33] Jewish slippers.

Speaker 1:
[51:34] Jewish slippers, I'm sorry.

Speaker 9:
[51:35] She said, Jesus was a great man, but just a man, just a great human being. So that makes sense to me.

Speaker 1:
[51:46] Yeah, but that's still, anyway, but that still don't make me, I don't understand why you don't believe in him then.

Speaker 2:
[51:53] You believe he was a man.

Speaker 9:
[51:54] Hey, he's a great man. That's a great idea.

Speaker 2:
[51:56] So you believe in Jesus.

Speaker 9:
[51:57] Right, I don't believe that he was the son of God.

Speaker 1:
[52:00] Hey, of course he was, because we're all children of God.

Speaker 2:
[52:02] We're splitting hairs, my boy. You believe in Jesus.

Speaker 9:
[52:06] I believe there was a Jesus.

Speaker 1:
[52:08] That's the step, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:
[52:10] That's the first step, Chris.

Speaker 8:
[52:12] We're gonna reel you in.

Speaker 9:
[52:14] And the last.

Speaker 2:
[52:14] We're gonna reel you in like a fresh jellyfish, my boy.

Speaker 1:
[52:17] He could be a great prophet, great messenger.

Speaker 9:
[52:20] Listen, I had uncles who, every Christmas I would get the Bible with Jesus' words in red. They've been trying to flip me for decades. I'm good. Anyway, what I'm saying is, for me, the issue is the type of imagery that's being used. This type of iconography, like, that's what you saw from Mao, that's what you saw from Stalin, that's what you see in North Korea. It's the imagery that's the issue, more so than the Jesus to me. As our president is this inipotent, all-powerful figure who-

Speaker 2:
[52:52] Savior.

Speaker 9:
[52:53] You can't do that, man. That's a dictatorship.

Speaker 2:
[52:56] Well, don't worry, they're not falling for it. They're fucking pissed.

Speaker 1:
[52:58] What happened to the separation between church and state?

Speaker 2:
[53:01] Now we're talking.

Speaker 1:
[53:02] Like, what happened?

Speaker 2:
[53:03] Though, there is a part of me that thinks we might need, like, the Pope to just step in, because Pope Leo's been cooking.

Speaker 1:
[53:08] Yo, him shitting on the Pope was crazy.

Speaker 2:
[53:10] Yeah, but Pope Leo pressing him, too. Pope Leo's a Chicago gangster.

Speaker 1:
[53:13] Here's my thing with Pope Leo. What did he say wrong, other than, he wants peace. Don't we all want peace?

Speaker 9:
[53:19] Soft on crime.

Speaker 2:
[53:21] He was soft on crime.

Speaker 9:
[53:22] Soft on crime.

Speaker 2:
[53:23] I will, hey, listen, not to give Trump some credit here, but Catholic Church could be a little tougher on one specific type of crime. But so could Trump.

Speaker 1:
[53:32] But Trump gotta clean his own house.

Speaker 8:
[53:34] Yo, maybe that's why they're beefing.

Speaker 2:
[53:35] Maybe it's like, I'm the best pedophile protector. No, I'm the best pedophile protector.

Speaker 1:
[53:40] That's right. That's the class back of Pope Leo. Don't come over here trying to clean up our house. You better clean up your house first.

Speaker 2:
[53:44] Clean it up. Okay, clean it up.

Speaker 1:
[53:47] What if Trump be like, they were in the Epstein file.

Speaker 2:
[53:49] Yeah, and he's like, we had our own files.

Speaker 8:
[53:52] We had our own, we moved them around.

Speaker 2:
[53:54] But what if that's what the Pope was like, yo, at least we moved them.

Speaker 1:
[53:56] Oh my God.

Speaker 2:
[53:57] You guys still let them stay in government and business and control the world.

Speaker 1:
[54:01] It is sad that people love to cover up child sex crimes.

Speaker 2:
[54:07] Bro.

Speaker 1:
[54:08] I don't know what's sadder, the fact that so many people participate in them are that so many people like to cover them up.

Speaker 2:
[54:15] Both.

Speaker 1:
[54:15] Well.

Speaker 2:
[54:16] Both.

Speaker 10:
[54:17] Both is bad, but the participating is way worse.

Speaker 1:
[54:21] It's not-

Speaker 2:
[54:21] I don't know, bro. It's not way to me.

Speaker 1:
[54:24] Yeah, it's not way. Yeah, you said way. It ain't way.

Speaker 2:
[54:26] It's worse.

Speaker 1:
[54:27] It ain't that many whys.

Speaker 2:
[54:28] Yeah. It's worse, but it's not way.

Speaker 1:
[54:32] Like, if I'm watching it-

Speaker 2:
[54:34] You right there.

Speaker 1:
[54:35] I'm right there. And I'm like, yo, yo, don't tell nobody.

Speaker 2:
[54:36] If you're protecting somebody who's doing that shit to kids, you just as bad, bro. I don't care.

Speaker 1:
[54:42] I mean, probably worse.

Speaker 2:
[54:44] Don't even make the argument.

Speaker 1:
[54:46] Not only- No, no. The reason I say probably worse, because it's like, you would participate. To me. Like, you don't get no strikes because you see it going down, you cover it up and then, you know, try to keep it from people because you're not trying to protect nobody.

Speaker 2:
[55:01] It's not bank robbery.

Speaker 1:
[55:02] It's not bank robbery.

Speaker 2:
[55:04] You know what I mean? Like, you're not an accomplice. This is-

Speaker 1:
[55:08] It's worse than being an accomplice. To me, this is worse than being an accomplice. I know that this person is committing child sex crimes. I'm not covering it up. I'm not turning the person in. Yeah. I'm just continuing to watch this shit go on. How could you live with yourself?

Speaker 10:
[55:23] What about for the priest? If they're looking at it like, oh, well, this priest delivers the message and he does so much good. So it's like, yeah, they could be looking at it that way.

Speaker 1:
[55:33] Because God don't got nothing to do with this. The word of God can stand without the person who's preaching. You don't need a messenger to understand the word of God.

Speaker 2:
[55:42] Well, Catholics would say that you do. That would be the distinction for Catholics.

Speaker 1:
[55:46] I would say that too if I was trying to get a bunch of little boy ass. I wouldn't want to stay in the fucking position of power and try to be the guy all the time. I would tell everybody, y'all can't get to him without me.

Speaker 2:
[55:56] I think that, I think that.

Speaker 1:
[55:56] Paying their points to your penis.

Speaker 2:
[55:58] Yeah, but I also think that like, the Catholic Church arises at a time where not everybody had the ability to read, so literacy rates weren't high. So you needed people to communicate the Bible to you, and you needed people to like, help you understand the metaphors that existed within the Bible. Now we take for granted everybody's literary, so like the modern Christian, the, was it like the Episcopalian or Evangelical, or like basically the Protestant Reformation happens after the printing press, if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 9:
[56:25] Well also remember what the Catholic Church, how they gave their mass originally too.

Speaker 2:
[56:29] It's in Latin, right?

Speaker 9:
[56:30] Right, no one speaks Latin.

Speaker 2:
[56:31] Yeah, but you could have direct discourse with your priest.

Speaker 9:
[56:34] Right, but that's the whole point. The priest is the conduit, the only conduit. Because literally the language, the message is being delivered.

Speaker 2:
[56:41] So there's negative sides to that, of course, but there's also positive sides to it, I think, because you've also seen a lot of people kind of, I don't wanna, I'm always delicate with religion, but you've maybe seen people morph and change what the meaning of the book is to their own preferences.

Speaker 1:
[56:57] Well listen.

Speaker 2:
[56:57] And I'm sure the Catholic Church has done that throughout history as well. I'm not saying every single person is perfect, but when you are held accountable by one person that the church figures feel like is the most pious and responsible man, it's a little different than when you have like an offshoot church that is just directed on the Bible. And then you can get people to do crazy shit and justify it by pages in that book.

Speaker 1:
[57:15] But it should be held together by one entity, which is God. Because I would have to assume that belief in a higher power came way before organized religion.

Speaker 2:
[57:26] Of course, but like we know that man will use God to do heinous acts.

Speaker 1:
[57:30] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[57:31] I mean, what's the first thing that this motherfucker did when trying to get us to believe in this war that makes no sense? He's like, Hank Seth is talking some shit about it. God wanted us to do this. You really got no reason for us to be over there if you're going to God immediately. It's like, what'd you say when a comedian's bombing and he goes, give it up to God? So when America's bombing, we go, give it up to God?

Speaker 1:
[57:57] Shout out to God. God be treating us like YouTube, bro. He treats Earthlings the way I treat YouTube.

Speaker 2:
[58:03] Where you're just like, let me look at these things.

Speaker 1:
[58:06] But I ain't moved by none of that shit y'all saying about me. You know what I'm saying? Cause there's no way. Cause God should have been pressure watched all of this. All of the lies we done put on God.

Speaker 8:
[58:17] Man.

Speaker 1:
[58:18] People swear to God every day on this dumb shit.

Speaker 8:
[58:20] Every day. Every damn.

Speaker 1:
[58:25] I'm one of them. And not no more. I used to swear to God about so much stupid shit, y'all. But you know why? Cause I really could do that shit.

Speaker 2:
[58:34] Man, I was at-

Speaker 1:
[58:34] When I told y'all I had a 72 inch vertical leap.

Speaker 2:
[58:37] You believed it.

Speaker 1:
[58:38] I did it.

Speaker 2:
[58:39] You did it. I believe you did it too.

Speaker 10:
[58:41] Still lying.

Speaker 2:
[58:42] That's not a lie.

Speaker 1:
[58:43] Listen, if you're 5'2, and you dunk a 10 foot basketball goal, how high are you in the air?

Speaker 2:
[58:51] I think you were 72 inches above some part of earth. I just don't think it was the part where you was jumping from. But there was a part of earth that was-

Speaker 1:
[59:00] If you're 5'2, 5'3, and dunk a 10 foot basketball goal, what's that?

Speaker 2:
[59:05] Probably like 50 plus inch? 40 probably. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[59:09] 50 plus inch vertical leap, yo. That was me.

Speaker 2:
[59:12] Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1:
[59:13] That was me.

Speaker 2:
[59:14] I was at church this past Sunday, this church in Harlem that my wife goes to regularly, and I try to go to. I don't want to make myself seem like I'm very consistent, I'm casual, but I really enjoy it, and I have a great time. It's called Renaissance in Harlem. It's absolutely fantastic. There's the pastor, this guy named Corvinus, and he said this, but not here, this amazing, amazing, amazing sermon. He was talking about, like, sometimes we get to the point where we want to, we want to, he would want to convince people of the truth of God so much. And he would be like debating and debating and debating, and he's like, what's the point of winning the argument if you lose your friend? And it was just this really interesting framework, which is like, love thy neighbor is what God wants you to do. He doesn't want you to win your neighbor. He doesn't want you to beat the life out of them until they finally submit. It's like sometimes being kind to that person and loving that person, even if you guys disagree on something, is the more holy thing to do. And it was like a really good reminder because our ego gets in the way sometimes when you're debating or arguing and you just want to be right, especially with the people we're closest to.

Speaker 1:
[60:24] I think that's one of the, is it one of the four laws of power, never win through argument? Like you never want to win, you never want to win something through argument or something like that?

Speaker 2:
[60:35] I don't know, but it just, I don't know that shit resonated with me. It's like, what's the point of winning if you lose the connection with that person?

Speaker 1:
[60:46] Yeah, it's like, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? What if you're fucking right?

Speaker 2:
[60:52] Then A, if you're right.

Speaker 1:
[60:54] Oh yeah, never win through argument, win through actions.

Speaker 2:
[60:56] So it's like, if you're right, then you trust God.

Speaker 1:
[60:59] Oh yeah, Robert Greene says, he doesn't say never argue at all. He's saying, when you prove someone wrong publicly, you often trigger ego. People don't change, they just get defensive and resentful. You win the moment, but lose influence long time.

Speaker 2:
[61:14] Have you read The Prince? I'm not getting you. This is a, it's Machiavelli.

Speaker 1:
[61:20] No.

Speaker 2:
[61:21] So Machiavelli was this like-

Speaker 1:
[61:23] I know who Machiavelli was.

Speaker 2:
[61:23] Yeah, so when he was locked up, he was trying to like get the good favor of maybe it was the Medici's or something like that. So he wrote this book called The Prince, if I'm not mistaken, about like how to operate within power dynamics, specifically within like government and monarchy, etc. And the idea was like to pitch himself as like a consultant to this ruling family while he was locked up. Hopefully, I'm not bastardizing this. And Robert Greene acknowledges that the 48 laws of power are just taken from Machiavelli. So like it's a he reframed them and packages them in this like beautiful way. But like, it's pretty cool that back in like Renaissance era Italy, there's this dude that's locked up but is so fully aware of power dynamics and like how to operate with power to make sure that they don't kick you out of power one straight up ahead you, but also so that you don't appear weak.

Speaker 9:
[62:15] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:15] And he's writing this as like, I don't know, not a resume, but like, what is it, like an audition, Chris?

Speaker 9:
[62:20] Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[62:22] Does he end up getting scooped up by the family or no?

Speaker 9:
[62:24] I don't remember how it played out in his own life.

Speaker 2:
[62:26] But isn't that crazy, like a guy wrote a book in that far away and like right now we're referencing it on a podcast in 2020.

Speaker 1:
[62:33] Words are powerful. Right. But that's also back in the day when they understood the power of words so much so that they would write them down in that way and say, hey, this is going to be shared for generations. You know what I mean? And I think that, you know, it's not just the words. They were actually writing from experiences. You don't just wake up and say, okay, when, when, when through, when, don't, never went through argument, went through action. You have to experience that. Over and over. Over and over and then write it down. I wonder about that all the time. Cause I'm like, yo, who is actually transcribing what's going on right now? Right now.

Speaker 2:
[63:10] Like how is history going to look back?

Speaker 1:
[63:11] How is history going to look back at this moment?

Speaker 2:
[63:13] Depends who wins.

Speaker 1:
[63:14] And I was thinking about that. I'll tell you later, but I think we need more satire. We need more in living colors. We need more boondocks. We need more Huckleberry Finn. We need more Huckleberry Finn. When Chappelle said he want to bring Chappelle's show back, I was like, that's interesting. And the reason why is because there's nobody holding a mirror up to society. I even think about that era of, remember when Jonah Hill was in like all the super bags and it was the Seph Rogan and it was making, they were capturing a moment in time to get them to the Greeks, all of that shit like that.

Speaker 2:
[63:50] This is to me, like, I think what you're saying here is that people don't want direct conversation about what's happening in the world right now, because, especially politically, because it's so exhausting, but they will accept a satirized version of it that makes light of these things that are going down without taking on the weight of everything that's happening.

Speaker 1:
[64:10] Because I can give you my messaging without getting into an argument. So now it's no back and forth, here, watch this, you watched it for an hour and a half, you digest it, if I do it right, then I'm showing all sides of the debate, all sides of the argument, and now we can go figure it out.

Speaker 2:
[64:26] People are exhausted, people are exhausted.

Speaker 9:
[64:28] But satire also works because it's an exaggerated version of the truth, and the problem is right now, the truth is so exaggerated, or the presentation, let's say, is so exaggerated, that the satire is almost entering at the same level as the truth, so it loses a lot of its thing.

Speaker 2:
[64:49] It's hard to satirize what's happening now because it's so absolutely absurd that 10 years ago, if you just said these things are happening, it would be satire.

Speaker 1:
[64:59] I don't think you have to exaggerate it that much. If you go back and you watch some of the best satire, things like the person's physical appearance may be exaggerated, but everything else, the idea, something the person may have said, it's pretty on par with what we actually experienced.

Speaker 10:
[65:17] But I feel like Chappelle's show, he exaggerated the figures like Prince and R. Kelly, he exaggerated them. What Drusky is doing, Drusky is just mimicking them.

Speaker 1:
[65:29] But did he exaggerate them? Because listen, when we saw the Prince basketball sketch, we thought that was exaggeration until we learned, no, Prince really was playing basketball and taking motherfuckers to the hole.

Speaker 2:
[65:40] Well, I think that's to what Chris is saying. It's like we were unaware that that was true. So the truth seemed like satire. Right now we're aware of how absurd shit is. So how do you go more absurd than what's happening?

Speaker 1:
[65:53] Well, by the way, it's still absurd just because, like Prince playing basketball is crazy. Dressed like Prince and making people pancakes as it is absurd.

Speaker 8:
[66:02] But it was true. It's true though.

Speaker 1:
[66:04] So you can still show people the truth. I don't think we're really paying attention.

Speaker 2:
[66:07] But maybe we got too much truth. Like maybe that's what's going on.

Speaker 9:
[66:11] We'll take like Chappelle's The Yellow Cake sketch or the sketch where he knocks the bottle of water over to distract everybody from the fact that he wants oil. That doesn't feel radical. I mean, you know, there was a clip on Easter of Trump standing next to an Easter bunny, you know, giving a speech to Iran. That would have been a satire, right? Except it's actually happening now.

Speaker 1:
[66:37] But you know what's so funny? This is why I still watch The Daily Show. I mean, not just because I come on it, but The Daily Show takes these real life moments and just creates content around them. And they'll show you the clips. And this is some shit that back in the day you would do a sketch of. Now you don't have to. Now you can just show me the real clip. But I'm telling you, a lot of people miss this shit. I saw the Easter Bunny shit on The Daily Show.

Speaker 6:
[67:04] And there are others like that.

Speaker 11:
[67:06] You don't mind when the enemy is weak, but that enemy is strong.

Speaker 6:
[67:13] You guys see The Rabbit too, right?

Speaker 13:
[67:17] I've been, I, you see it, oh, thank God.

Speaker 6:
[67:21] I'm so glad they see it. You know, clearly I've been on a lot of leprosy meds, so I don't, a lot of hallucinations. By the way, the surreal image of the president running through his cavalcade of grievances next to the Easter Bunny was not exclusive to the balcony. Poor Peter Cotter had to listen to this bullshit all day.

Speaker 1:
[67:43] And I heard, I heard, I knew, I didn't pay attention enough because Donald Trump is always doing so much shit, but I saw the Easter Bunny clip on The Daily Show.

Speaker 2:
[67:51] I'll be honest, man, I think people want to escape from it. I don't even think they want to hear about it. I think when they get home from work, I think that they're getting New York Times notifications on their phone and every new one is a little bit more exhausting and fear inducing than the next. And they're just like, I want to think about a fucking reality show with Mormon women cheating on their husbands. I need to be completely pulled out of this political exhaustion and put into a different world where I can escape.

Speaker 9:
[68:18] But you wouldn't want a period. I mean, I was talking to my daughter about this and she's like, my generation wants 90s themed shows.

Speaker 2:
[68:25] Well, this is the cycle.

Speaker 9:
[68:27] She's like, it makes us think there was America where things were normal.

Speaker 2:
[68:34] I think there's a version of that I also think that this generation craves authenticity because everything that they've seen is inauthentic.

Speaker 1:
[68:44] That's from the 90s early 2000s feels real.

Speaker 2:
[68:47] I mean, look at even what's happening right now. The white boy rocker bands are popping again. The guys that headline Coachella are the classic white boy indie rock bands. The Strokes, I grew up listening to these guys in the city. Now they're headlining Coachella. So it's like there is a movement kind of happening. And I think things are cyclical in general, but like the 90s was probably they don't remember it. They don't even understand it, but they look back at it and they go, Oh, this is a time where things were, quote unquote, real and they crave real.

Speaker 1:
[69:17] And I think that we have to go back to holding up a mirror to society and showing people how ridiculous this shit is. So, yes, I understand everybody's exhausted, but they're exhausted because nobody's putting any of this in context. It's just constantly coming at us, coming at us, coming at us, coming at us. If somebody can take some of this shit, put it in context, that's what standup is good about. That's what George Carlin used to be so good about. That's what all of these sketch comedy shows used to be so good about. You could take these absurd, crazy moments in our society, put some funny behind it and give us some context to it. At least make us realize what we should be thinking about.

Speaker 2:
[69:55] Yeah, to a certain extent. But I think also if you're somebody who's working a job, you're trying to make ends meet and rent is expensive, and food is expensive, all these things, you go out to a comedy show. Do you want somebody up there going like, and Pete Hegseth said.

Speaker 1:
[70:10] If it's funny and if I know who the fuck Pete Hegseth is.

Speaker 2:
[70:13] Yeah, maybe. Or do you want to escape from that and hear hilarious stories about maybe cultural things that are happening about somebody's own personal life? And does that escape provides you the value that just being completely locked in to this doom scroll does not give?

Speaker 1:
[70:32] I think when you're able to make fun of something, it makes whatever that something is, even if it's heavy, feel lighter and make us feel like we can get through it.

Speaker 2:
[70:42] As long as the fun is the goal and not like some political messaging, because I think what people don't want is regardless of which side, just to have like messaging jammed down their throat. Like if the punchline is, and that's why we should go to Iran, you're like, get me out of this shit. If the punchline is using this war and then making something absurd or silly around it that has nothing to do with it, then we're in kind of fun zone.

Speaker 1:
[71:09] Yeah.

Speaker 9:
[71:10] You guys see the movie Eddington by New Trance?

Speaker 2:
[71:12] Nah, it's about a bear.

Speaker 9:
[71:14] Pat, not Paddington. Now it's about the height of the Black Lives Matter and COVID around 2020.

Speaker 2:
[71:22] Yeah, people don't want that, right?

Speaker 9:
[71:23] No, no, it was really good.

Speaker 2:
[71:24] Yeah, but people don't want it.

Speaker 1:
[71:25] Is it satire or is it scripted?

Speaker 9:
[71:26] It was satire, but there was just enough distance six years ago, and they made fun of it all. They made fun of Black Lives Matter, they made fun of the COVID-

Speaker 1:
[71:34] Oh, I gotta watch it.

Speaker 9:
[71:35] It's a movie? It was a movie and I watched it, I was like, yeah, man, that time really was fucking stupid.

Speaker 1:
[71:40] Listen, that's-

Speaker 2:
[71:41] Oh, there's like a distance from it.

Speaker 9:
[71:43] Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Six years ago felt like I could kind of take a breath and look back at it.

Speaker 1:
[71:48] Yo, two of my favorite things, when Kevin Hart's stand up special, when he talks about how he got caught up and wanting to be an activist during that time, and when Duvall always posts those videos of like people dancing in front of the cops and shit, and Duvall's like, I'll never let y'all forget how stupid y'all was and shit. Like I do-

Speaker 9:
[72:05] That's what this movie does.

Speaker 1:
[72:06] Yes, but that's what we need. Like, there's really no, like this can't, the phone can't be the only timestamps, yo. It can't just be podcast clips and shit like that. Like give me-

Speaker 2:
[72:17] No, you need art. Art, yes.

Speaker 1:
[72:19] What's the music?

Speaker 2:
[72:20] I think art is important. I think art is incredibly powerful and is like useful, definitely in times like this, like when people are stressed and when people just kind of want to escape. And I think you can address the issues. But like when you see movies that have like a political undertone, they just don't really perform that well. And then you see movies that like are just about like a girl who's like a cleaning lady that fucks the other girl's husband. They make $400 million.

Speaker 1:
[72:49] What if the cleaning lady is Mexican? She's here illegally and she's for her visa and her green card.

Speaker 10:
[72:56] I think there's room for both. Have you seen the show The Boys?

Speaker 1:
[73:00] Superhero shit?

Speaker 10:
[73:01] Yeah, I know it's like one of the most popular superhero shows right now. Very, has a lot of political tone, but they're always making fun of Trump.

Speaker 1:
[73:07] Shit the New Daredevil.

Speaker 10:
[73:09] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[73:09] New Daredevil got mad for political tone.

Speaker 10:
[73:11] But I think there's room for both.

Speaker 2:
[73:12] But The Boys is so absurd and silly, like they're superheroes, right?

Speaker 10:
[73:17] Yeah, but they're not a lot of the stuff that you see going on in the Trump administration. So a satire of the Trump administration.

Speaker 2:
[73:22] Sure, but so is Zootopia. Zootopia, the cartoon, is obviously a metaphor for race relations or social dynamics and culture, but it's a cartoon and we have animals, so it pulls us far enough away from it where it doesn't feel like it's jamming the messaging down our throat. I think that's what the superhero genre can do. It's like, all these guys got superpowers, so they pull us away so I could just escape in this world and I don't have to think too much of it. Then when they do make a point, you're like, oh, was that? I think that's the distance you need to be. I think if it gets close, close, close, I think people are like, I'm so fucking stressed, I don't want to think about it. That's my suspicion.

Speaker 1:
[74:02] I think it's just got to be done right. I really do. I think that we need somebody to hold the mirror up to what's going on in society right now, and not only make us laugh about it, put some things in context.

Speaker 7:
[74:15] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[74:15] I really do. Katy Perry, sexual assault. This is so crazy. You know I love me some Katy Perry.

Speaker 7:
[74:22] You didn't believe it?

Speaker 1:
[74:24] Who didn't believe it?

Speaker 7:
[74:25] You, when I was telling you the story.

Speaker 1:
[74:27] Because the story sounded up, sir. I'm like, but you know.

Speaker 2:
[74:31] There is a part of it that is quite difficult to believe.

Speaker 7:
[74:37] You wanna read it?

Speaker 1:
[74:38] No, just tell me the story. Who wrote this, first of all?

Speaker 2:
[74:41] So there's an actress.

Speaker 1:
[74:42] And by the way, I didn't, here's the thing. When Taylor told me the story, Taylor told me some wild shit. Taylor was like, she pulled her panties to the side.

Speaker 2:
[74:51] It says it right here.

Speaker 10:
[74:52] That's the story.

Speaker 7:
[74:53] Exactly. That's the story.

Speaker 2:
[74:56] You want to read it? You want to read it or not?

Speaker 1:
[74:58] Yeah, I do. I just read the tweets.

Speaker 2:
[75:01] Go up, because the tweets are crazy.

Speaker 7:
[75:02] Yeah, Ruby Rose, who was the actress on Orange is the New Black.

Speaker 2:
[75:07] Katy Perry said about Justin Bieber's performance, I guess she was watching, and she's like, thank God he paid for YouTube premium. I don't want to have to sit through any ads.

Speaker 1:
[75:16] This is what set this off?

Speaker 2:
[75:17] Yeah. And then on that comment, Ruby Rose, who's an actress, said, Katy Perry sexually assaulted me at Spice Market Nightclub in Melbourne. Who gives a shit what she thinks?

Speaker 1:
[75:27] Damn. She had to went and left fat.

Speaker 2:
[75:30] And somebody commented on that and said, she kissed a girl and you didn't like it? Trying to have a joke. And then Ruby Rose says, she didn't kiss me. She saw me resting on my friend's lap to avoid her and bent down, pulled her underwear to the side and rubbed her disgusting vagina on my face until my eyes snapped open and I projectile vomited on her.

Speaker 1:
[75:49] God damn, what the fuck her shit smell like?

Speaker 2:
[75:51] Son.

Speaker 1:
[75:52] That's crazy. She's supposed to have that BV, allegedly. You gotta have BV if you make somebody projectile vomit just by putting their face in it. By the way, Taylor, that's not the story you told.

Speaker 2:
[76:04] And Ruby Rose is a lesbian.

Speaker 1:
[76:05] This story makes perfect sense. You told me something else that I was like, there's no way physically that that could happen.

Speaker 7:
[76:10] I literally read you that.

Speaker 1:
[76:12] No, you didn't. I forgot how you worded it. Maybe in my mind, the way I... In my mind, I thought you said that Katy pulled her panties to the side and then put her vagina in her face. And I'm like, how the fuck can you do that? Like, this is what I was thinking when you told me the story. You said, I thought that you said she pulled her panties to the side and then took her vagina, meaning Ruby Rose's vagina and put Ruby Rose's vagina in her... I'm like...

Speaker 2:
[76:39] On her own face.

Speaker 1:
[76:40] I'm like, how, Taylor? Like, that don't make any sense.

Speaker 8:
[76:43] Projectile vomiting.

Speaker 7:
[76:43] I don't know how you got that. I don't know how.

Speaker 8:
[76:45] That's what you told me.

Speaker 1:
[76:46] I'm like, that don't even make... I'm like, physically, that's impossible. How the could that even happen?

Speaker 2:
[76:50] I also think projectile vomiting off of, like, a vagina smell seems hard to believe. Crazy.

Speaker 1:
[76:55] That's the most... Now, what if you're Katie and that's the most offensive thing about this whole post?

Speaker 2:
[76:59] Well, it's got to be.

Speaker 1:
[77:00] Got to be, right.

Speaker 2:
[77:01] Because that girl was a lesbian, so she definitely tried some things. It's not like it was the first time she smelled it. She's been down there, she knows what they're like.

Speaker 10:
[77:12] Guys, I think the worst part is Katy Perry being alleged that she sexually assaulted somebody else. I think that's the worst part.

Speaker 1:
[77:19] No, that's not what we said. I said, what if you're Katy Perry? The worst part of this story is that you heard that your vagina smells so bad that somebody projectile vomited. I ain't talking about what we think. Of course, what we think is the worst part is the sexual assault.

Speaker 2:
[77:33] Imagine just one... We live in New York. There's a lot of smells here. I never projectile vomited.

Speaker 1:
[77:39] I know, projectile vomited is crazy. You go straight horror movie off the box smell?

Speaker 2:
[77:42] Off the box smell.

Speaker 1:
[77:44] Crazy. God damn.

Speaker 2:
[77:46] It wakes you up. You're like, Exorcist, wake up.

Speaker 12:
[77:51] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:
[77:52] Somebody say, fuck the smell of socks. Bring Katy Perry's boxers. God damn.

Speaker 8:
[77:58] In between rounds for a boxer.

Speaker 1:
[78:00] You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 8:
[78:01] Hands in the. You on the sidelines for an NFL game? Quarterback gets sacked.

Speaker 1:
[78:07] Willie Beamon from Smelling Katy Perry's Boxers.

Speaker 7:
[78:08] She might also be saying, she could have been drunk, and then when she smelled bad meat, her vomit too.

Speaker 1:
[78:15] I was only in my early 20s. I'm now 40. It has taken almost two decades to say this publicly, though I am so grateful to have made it long enough to find my voice. I just know how much of an impact trauma and sexual assault takes. Thank you for seeing me. She's absolutely right, but you know...

Speaker 2:
[78:32] Katy is denying that any of this happens.

Speaker 1:
[78:34] Yeah, but also the reality of the situation is people don't take same-sex sexual assault the same, especially women on women. If it was a guy on guy, it'd be totally different. Bro. Woman on women, this as big as a star Katy Perry is, you would think this would be a huge, huge story. This is not as huge as if this was Luke Perry. Am I lying? No. If this was Luke Perry.

Speaker 2:
[78:58] You make a great point. For some reason, we don't take the same sex, sexual assault. Women. Nah, men on men too.

Speaker 1:
[79:06] Well, it depends, depends. If it's an older man or a younger boy, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[79:10] Bro, yes, sure. But like how many, how many like age, quote unquote, inappropriate relationships are there? Like there's a super old gay dude. He got like a 20 something year old. Twink. Twink. And it's like a skinny gay guy.

Speaker 1:
[79:25] That's the real thing?

Speaker 2:
[79:26] Yeah. Anyway, and like, and if there was a, if, yo, you ain't gonna hear shit. If there was a super old dude with like a young girl, we would be critical of it, right? We would be like, well, this seems inappropriate. There's a big age gap. Is this person taking advantage of that person? But like, you're right. There's a different bar for same sex relationships where we seem to not be as protective of the people there.

Speaker 1:
[79:48] You take the same story. Luke Perry pulls woman's panties to the side, sticks his cock in her face.

Speaker 2:
[79:53] Nah, he's going to jail. He's going to jail.

Speaker 1:
[79:57] They say Katy Perry is being investigated, though, right? Did I read that somewhere?

Speaker 8:
[80:00] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[80:01] Damn.

Speaker 8:
[80:01] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[80:03] That's going to be interesting.

Speaker 2:
[80:03] She has denied it. She has denied it.

Speaker 1:
[80:06] This is going to be interesting.

Speaker 2:
[80:07] If there is footage from that nightclub.

Speaker 1:
[80:11] What was that, a nightclub?

Speaker 2:
[80:12] Apparently, if there's footage from Spice Market where she throws that thang at her and then immediate projectile vomit.

Speaker 1:
[80:24] That is horrible, man. What the fuck is wrong with your vagina that it makes somebody projectile vomit? Allegedly?

Speaker 2:
[80:33] That's an alleged, bro.

Speaker 1:
[80:34] Jeez.

Speaker 2:
[80:34] Come on, man. She got kids.

Speaker 8:
[80:36] She got kids.

Speaker 2:
[80:37] She got kids. That's Orlando Bloom's ex. Shout out to Katy Perry.

Speaker 1:
[80:42] Oh, right.

Speaker 2:
[80:42] Shout out to Legolas.

Speaker 1:
[80:46] That's sad, y'all, because also this is just an allegation.

Speaker 2:
[80:50] Right? That's right. Allegations are not.

Speaker 1:
[80:52] But nobody cares about the truth when the lie is more entertaining.

Speaker 2:
[80:55] That lie is entertaining as fuck.

Speaker 1:
[80:56] You know, salute the Ruby Rose. If that's, I don't know. I'm not saying what's true and what's not true. I'm just saying like.

Speaker 2:
[81:02] We hope everyone gets justice.

Speaker 1:
[81:03] That's right. That's right.

Speaker 2:
[81:05] If that's Katy, that the truth comes out and vindicates her, we hope that. If that's Ruby and the truth vindicates her, then we hope that.

Speaker 1:
[81:12] Well, nobody's gonna ever look at Katy the same.

Speaker 2:
[81:14] Yeah, you know what? You might be right. And that is a shame. That's why these allegations are very damning.

Speaker 1:
[81:19] She better hope that it's not another person that comes out and talks about how she gotta whiff her box and fucking projectile vomit it.

Speaker 2:
[81:26] Well, her and Orlando just got divorced, so he is in a power position right now. He's in a power position right now. He's in a power position.

Speaker 1:
[81:36] I think we should just move on.

Speaker 2:
[81:37] I agree.

Speaker 1:
[81:38] Yeah, let's pay some bills.

Speaker 2:
[81:39] Let's do it.

Speaker 1:
[81:42] Pay some bills. Let's pay some bills, gang. Let's pay some bills. Salute to Quince. This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet. True story, I'm literally about to throw away everything. I don't want nothing that's in my closet right now. I'm giving it all away to goodwill. I'm trying to keep fewer things, but better ones, pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense. Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft, floated activewear fabric. Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable, and comfortable. Basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined, so you look put together without trying too hard. And their floated activewear, moisture wicking, anti-odor, and soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it all day. Anti-odor is very important in the summer time. A lot of y'all be wearing them wolf pants, and the reason we call them wolf pants is because you be having them on all day, and then when you go home and take them off, that shit just hits you. Okay? The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Because Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middle men. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy, okay? I like the t-shirts personally and some nice, comfortable pants, okay? That is just breathable and comfortable, okay? And I wear them with my skims underwear.

Speaker 8:
[83:17] Hey!

Speaker 1:
[83:17] Hey!

Speaker 8:
[83:18] Oh!

Speaker 1:
[83:19] Everything breathing, all right? Everything breathing. I look more polished than I even expected. So they don't cost what you think, all right? It's quality linen. Trust me when I tell you, refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com/idiots for free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada too. Go to quince.com/idiots for free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com/idiots. I want to tell y'all something, man. I recently found out that men start losing testosterone around 30, about 1% a year. And here's the part that got me. Even when your body is making testosterone, a lot of it gets locked up by this protein called SHBG. So it's like having money in your account, but your card doesn't work. That's why men should be taking Mars Men. You see this? No synthetics, no needles, eight natural clinically dosed ingredients. I can't pronounce any of these things. Chris, that looks like it's up your alley. Tongue Cat Ali, Shilajit, Vitamin D, Zinc, Boron, Made in the USA, third party tested. The whole thing, okay? Look man, Mars Men. Workouts are gonna start feeling like workouts again. Recovery gets better and the energy isn't like a coffee spike. It's just steady. You feel like yourself again. They've got a 90-day money back guarantee, so there's literally no risk. But over 91% of users report higher energy levels. Go check the reviews yourself. Thousands of guys are feeling it. For a limited time, you can get 50% off for life, free shipping and three free gifts at mengotomars.com. That's mengotomars.com. That's mengotomars.com. It's also on Amazon. And when you check out, they'll ask where you heard about it. Please tell them The Brilliant Idiots sent you. Okay, support the show. Mars Men supports the show. Mars Men salute y'all.

Speaker 14:
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Speaker 1:
[85:35] Let's do some church announcement show, see what we got.

Speaker 8:
[85:37] Let's do it, man.

Speaker 2:
[85:39] Show's coming up, man. Thank you guys so much, but I really appreciate it. This is, we got, I don't know, my website, maybe you could bring it up, theandrewschulz.com, but we're gonna add some more, we're gonna add some more clubs in the near future, and we're gonna add some more potentially shows at these clubs that have sold out. Thank you guys so much, man. Tampa sold out, Denver sold out, Salt Lake City sold out. Thank you guys so much. We're thinking about adding shows in those places. I'll post on my Instagram if we do. We got the Netflix is Joke Festival with Jelly Roll. That show's gonna be absolutely crazy. That's gonna be May, scroll down, 8th if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, May 8th, all right? So go check that out, and then we're also gonna be out in Nova Scotia, Halifax, Nova Scotia, this summer for the Great Outdoors Fest. Gonna bring Cam Patterson from SNL and Kiltoni up there, Luca Zelnick, Mark Gagnon is gonna be on it as well. So we got that cooking, man. I appreciate y'all. Charlamagne, what you got?

Speaker 1:
[86:35] The fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival, baby. Saturday, April 25th in Atlanta, Georgia at Pullman Yards, man, go to blackeffect.com/podcastfestival to get your tickets. We are, man, next weekend, next weekend. Next weekend we will be there, Atlanta, Georgia, April 25th, NORE and DJ EFN, Norrie Effin, Drink Champs Podcast will be on that stage. Salute to Mona, the Don't Call Me White Girl Podcast. Mona, I love your hair. I love your black effect hair, Mona. Okay, I can't wait to see you at the podcast festival. Crystal Rode Haslett, Keep It Positive, sweetie podcast. She'll be there. Jeff Teague with the Club 520 Podcast, Carlos King with the Reality with the King, Grits and Eggs Podcast with Ice Cup Cat and my man Deontay Kyle. Man, I want to announce some of the guests that's going to be on the podcast, but I still don't think I can yet. But you're going to want to be there. That's the thing about the podcast festival. It's not just the shows. It's the people that they bring on their shows as well. But it's some very... Nah, that'll give too much away. But tickets are on sale now, blackeffect.com/podcastfestival. Go get your tickets and we'll see you in Atlanta next week.

Speaker 7:
[87:48] And I'll be there too.

Speaker 9:
[87:49] Tail over here.

Speaker 7:
[87:51] To do minutes... Whatever. I'm going to be hosting this stream, so yeah.

Speaker 1:
[87:56] That's the beauty of the Black Effect Podcast Festival, man. It's not just the place that you come and you're entertained by the podcasts that are on stage. It's really a networking event. Like if you're in the podcasting space and you're into the business of podcasting or want to get into the business of podcasting, then the Black Effect is a great place for you to come and just network with people. We got panels. Kev On Stage is going to be on a panel. John Hope Bryant is on a panel. I'm looking at this panel right now. It is the AI, the Evolution and Future panel. John Hope Bryant, Ian Dunlap, Bridget Todd, Cliff Worley. It's a lot going on, man.

Speaker 10:
[88:36] And you got a lot of dope activations. You have that race car.

Speaker 1:
[88:39] A lot of dope activations. We got the Race Car Simulator that's going to be there. Courtesy of NASCAR, my guy, Roger Carrouf. We got the Pitch Your Podcast platform that's going to be there. So you can come out there and pitch your podcast to potentially be on the Black Effect Network. Like a lot of dope shit going on, man.

Speaker 2:
[88:55] I like it.

Speaker 1:
[88:56] Pull up, pull up, pull up, pull up.

Speaker 2:
[88:57] I like it.

Speaker 1:
[88:59] Say hello to my guy, Little John, man. Little John's book. We just announced that I'm putting out Little John's book on Black Privilege Publishing. Oh my God. It's called Our Only Shout So You Can Hear Me, man. Wow. Yeah. It's called Our Only Shout So You Can Hear Me. It'll be out this fall. Yeah, man. Shout out to Little John, man. Little John is a cultural icon. It is a pleasure to be able to help him tell his story. October 20th, 2026. You can preorder that right now wherever you buy books.

Speaker 10:
[89:30] Oh guys, and I got a new live show every Sunday at 11 a.m. It's called AM Mornings. It's a live call in show so you guys at home can call in, give your opinion about today's pop culture, politics, everything in between. Just head over to youtube.com at slash a.m. Mornings. I'll see you there.

Speaker 1:
[89:45] I kept getting sent this clip this weekend and people were saying that Saturday Night Live was inspired by The Brilliant Idiots.

Speaker 10:
[89:51] Yep.

Speaker 1:
[89:52] That's what they said. It was a sketch called Two Kids from the Back of the Bus and they were on Weekend Update with Michael Che and Collin. I don't even know if Michael Che was there. I didn't see Michael Che but he's not in this segment at least. But it's Cam and what's Cam?

Speaker 8:
[90:04] Marcelo.

Speaker 2:
[90:06] Cam Patterson and Marcelo.

Speaker 1:
[90:07] We just want to know if this was inspired by us because that's what the people are saying.

Speaker 2:
[90:11] A lot of people do dick jokes.

Speaker 1:
[90:14] It ain't even about the dick jokes though. It's the part when they go from idiot to intelligent. They go from idiot to brilliant. Yes, and Colin referenced it, bro. Let's listen to it.

Speaker 13:
[90:25] Yeah!

Speaker 8:
[90:27] What's up, Mr. Jost?

Speaker 13:
[90:28] What's up, Mr. Jost? Mr. Jost! Whoo!

Speaker 8:
[90:31] Hey! Guys, calm down. Calm down, okay? You're here to talk about inflation, okay?

Speaker 13:
[90:40] Yes, right, right. But first, can I just use your phone real quick, Mr. Jost? I'm sorry, mine got confiscated.

Speaker 8:
[90:47] Well, why did your phone get confiscated?

Speaker 13:
[90:49] I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. I don't know why you were thinking if I didn't even do nothing.

Speaker 8:
[90:57] I don't know.

Speaker 10:
[90:57] I find that hard to believe.

Speaker 13:
[90:59] Okay, fine. I posted a video of me swiping a debit card between the bus driver's neck folds.

Speaker 12:
[91:06] You were swiping the back of their neck like a pack of hot dogs.

Speaker 13:
[91:09] It was like framp. You know what?

Speaker 2:
[91:14] This is serious.

Speaker 10:
[91:16] This is serious, okay?

Speaker 8:
[91:17] Why don't you guys get to focus up? Okay, focus up.

Speaker 13:
[91:20] Okay. Seriously. Seriously. Okay. Inflation was up 3.3%. Prices are out of control. Everyone has been affected. Even my boy, Grabond, can't afford these groceries.

Speaker 12:
[91:33] Nah, for real. I feel bad for Grabond.

Speaker 8:
[91:35] Life is tough.

Speaker 10:
[91:36] Oh, my God. Who's Grabond?

Speaker 13:
[91:38] Oh, Grabond is a fritivores. It's Grabond these nuts.

Speaker 8:
[91:43] Yeah, you. Yeah, I really don't appreciate being shot in the face a bunch of times. Also, you're supposed to come out here and talk about the inflation report.

Speaker 14:
[91:59] You've had this assignment for weeks.

Speaker 13:
[92:00] Nah, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Chill, chill, chill. Chill right now.

Speaker 12:
[92:04] Chill.

Speaker 13:
[92:05] Let me lock in.

Speaker 12:
[92:06] Lock in. Let him cook, let him cook.

Speaker 13:
[92:08] Okay, inflation report, right? Let me ask you a basic question of economics.

Speaker 2:
[92:14] Basing?

Speaker 13:
[92:14] Basic.

Speaker 12:
[92:16] You got it, you got it. You got it.

Speaker 13:
[92:18] I got it.

Speaker 2:
[92:18] Yeah, lock in, man.

Speaker 13:
[92:19] All right.

Speaker 12:
[92:19] You got it.

Speaker 13:
[92:20] Let me ask you a basic question of economics, okay?

Speaker 2:
[92:22] Okay, great, yeah.

Speaker 13:
[92:24] Would you rather eat 100 glizzies or pass away from big booty disease?

Speaker 12:
[92:31] Good question, good question.

Speaker 2:
[92:33] I guess I would obviously choose the glizzies.

Speaker 8:
[92:36] Oh, hell no.

Speaker 12:
[92:38] Mr. Joseph Glizzy Goblins.

Speaker 13:
[92:43] You're nasty, bro.

Speaker 12:
[92:45] Boy.

Speaker 10:
[92:45] All right, you guys are too rowdy, okay?

Speaker 8:
[92:48] You guys need to calm down.

Speaker 13:
[92:50] Okay, fine. Jokes aside, I don't think this inflation will predicate a noticeable shift in the Federal Reserve.

Speaker 12:
[92:58] Yeah, but it does put the Fed between a rock and a hard place, because they had to promote low inflation while still encouraging economic growth.

Speaker 10:
[93:06] The hell?

Speaker 13:
[93:08] Is that...

Speaker 2:
[93:09] Are you guys, like, secretly smart?

Speaker 13:
[93:11] Yes, dude. We get tutoring from Amanda Cahal. She's a genius. You know Amanda Cahal.

Speaker 5:
[93:17] Who is Amanda Cahal?

Speaker 13:
[93:18] Amanda Cahal, these nuts! Got it! Got it! Got it!

Speaker 1:
[93:27] Yo, can Brilliant Idiots get some fucking credit?

Speaker 8:
[93:30] For what?

Speaker 1:
[93:30] Can Brilliant Idiots get some credit for the inspiration of this?

Speaker 8:
[93:33] Oh, that's not us, bro.

Speaker 1:
[93:35] We definitely inspired this.

Speaker 8:
[93:37] Come on.

Speaker 1:
[93:38] Come on, dude. Colin might as well have said, y'all are like some Brilliant Idiots. This was... Come on, bro.

Speaker 8:
[93:43] Who's who, then?

Speaker 1:
[93:45] Stop it.

Speaker 12:
[93:45] It's clear. It's obvious.

Speaker 2:
[93:46] Who's who?

Speaker 9:
[93:47] The black guy and the white guy.

Speaker 2:
[93:48] The only reason why I can say we inspired this is because Cam doesn't get one of these nuts joke off.

Speaker 1:
[93:55] Yeah, he definitely does.

Speaker 2:
[93:56] And you have yet to get one off.

Speaker 1:
[93:57] Those are some good ones, too.

Speaker 2:
[93:59] Amanda Cahou.

Speaker 1:
[93:59] Amanda Cahou was hilarious.

Speaker 2:
[94:01] I like Amanda Cahou.

Speaker 1:
[94:02] And it was great, because he did it right after being serious.

Speaker 2:
[94:05] Exactly.

Speaker 1:
[94:05] That's what he wasn't expecting. Who's Amanda Cahou? Yeah. Know what I'm saying? A man that can hold these nuts. That's not too intimate, though. You can't make your dick joke sound intimate. A man that can hold these nuts.

Speaker 2:
[94:15] Yeah, I don't want it to be gentle. Nah, it's gotta be more aggressive.

Speaker 1:
[94:19] And dick jokes work best when they're in and around your mouth, you know what I mean? When you're saying intimate shit like a man that can hold.

Speaker 2:
[94:26] Wait a minute, hold on. So is Jost then Chris Moreau? Is that what you're trying to say?

Speaker 1:
[94:31] Yeah, I can see Chris doing that.

Speaker 2:
[94:33] Wow, they had a white guy taking Asian dudes' roles. That's fucked up.

Speaker 1:
[94:38] That's up.

Speaker 2:
[94:38] That's fucked up that SNL wouldn't honor your race, man.

Speaker 1:
[94:42] Are both of these guys cast members? I know the black, Cam is the brother, right? I know he's a cast member, but who's the other guy?

Speaker 2:
[94:47] Marcelo, he's also a cast member.

Speaker 1:
[94:49] He's a comedian? Yes. Okay, salute to Marcelo. Both who stand up, right?

Speaker 2:
[94:52] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[94:53] Funny?

Speaker 2:
[94:53] Yes, funny guys, very funny guys.

Speaker 10:
[94:55] Both of them really funny.

Speaker 1:
[94:56] Let's do some asking idiots, gang, gang. Let's do some asking idiots. How do you measure, D underscore Loparela says, how do you measure success in a war when a global economy also takes a hit? I don't think there is such a success in a war.

Speaker 8:
[95:10] There ain't no success in this shit.

Speaker 1:
[95:12] Yeah, there's no success when it comes to war.

Speaker 2:
[95:13] No success when innocent people are dying. No success when the global economy is absolutely obliterated. There's no success.

Speaker 1:
[95:21] No, there's no success.

Speaker 2:
[95:22] They're going to invent success and they're going to try to sell it to us. But hopefully, we're at a point where we're not believing the propaganda bullshit.

Speaker 1:
[95:28] Yeah, you're a sick person if you think war, making the stock market go up, is worth it.

Speaker 2:
[95:35] I don't even know if it makes it go up.

Speaker 1:
[95:37] I don't think it does. People say that, but I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[95:40] Not right now when oil is $120, $140 a barrel.

Speaker 1:
[95:45] Why do they say that? Why do they say war makes the stock market go up?

Speaker 9:
[95:49] Well, in the past, it's because you've had a lot of manufacturing jobs created, and there's war efforts where they start making tanks or planes. This isn't really the case.

Speaker 2:
[95:57] No, this is not the case at all right now. But back in the day, yeah, the government, when you're at war, the government is going to spend as much money as possible to make sure you win, because if you lose, everything's over. When the government is pumping money into the economy, there's ideally some liquidity in there, and businesses will do better. But that's not what's happening right now.

Speaker 1:
[96:15] No.

Speaker 2:
[96:15] That's not this.

Speaker 1:
[96:17] No.

Speaker 2:
[96:18] Let's stop the bullshit and...

Speaker 1:
[96:21] Nobody wants war, bro.

Speaker 2:
[96:22] Hey, bro, say it with your chest, man.

Speaker 1:
[96:24] Like, nobody wants war. Manny Yee says, would y'all be down for a president that's a millennial?

Speaker 9:
[96:31] What are you talking about?

Speaker 2:
[96:31] Whether we like it or not is going to happen eventually.

Speaker 9:
[96:34] Is it?

Speaker 2:
[96:35] I mean, they're not going to skip the whole generation. It might not be.

Speaker 9:
[96:40] It might.

Speaker 2:
[96:41] So they go to what?

Speaker 1:
[96:42] What, 81?

Speaker 2:
[96:44] Yeah, but you got to be 35 to be president. So the next one's going to be-

Speaker 1:
[96:47] No, but then you're like 81.

Speaker 2:
[96:49] I know, but you have to be at least 35 years old to be president.

Speaker 1:
[96:51] I know, but they're talking about somebody born within that timeframe, 81, whatever. What is it?

Speaker 9:
[96:56] I think more so they're saying you become the president who's like 30 to 45. Would you, a Mondani age president?

Speaker 1:
[97:03] He's not a millennial? Mondani's not a country of millennial, is he? Yes, he is.

Speaker 9:
[97:07] I think so.

Speaker 10:
[97:07] He's like 35.

Speaker 2:
[97:08] Yeah, I think-

Speaker 10:
[97:09] 81 to 89.

Speaker 1:
[97:11] Oh, 81 to, okay, okay.

Speaker 2:
[97:13] I think so, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[97:14] I think so when millennials are at home.

Speaker 2:
[97:15] I think it'd be nice. I think it'd be refreshing. I think these old dudes, maybe we need to get them to-

Speaker 9:
[97:19] I'm not a millennial vice president right now. How old's Freddie Vance?

Speaker 1:
[97:22] Yeah, 81 to 96 are millennials. 81 to 96 are millennials.

Speaker 2:
[97:26] Yeah, he's probably-

Speaker 1:
[97:26] I was gonna say like I'm a millennial. 81 to 96 are millennials. So I guess 190 would be a millennial.

Speaker 9:
[97:33] He's a little 84 if he was born in 1984.

Speaker 1:
[97:35] Who?

Speaker 9:
[97:36] Vance.

Speaker 2:
[97:37] Yeah, 81 to 89.

Speaker 1:
[97:38] He's a millennial then. Yeah, 81 to 96 is considered millennial.

Speaker 9:
[97:42] He doesn't have that energy, though.

Speaker 7:
[97:43] Millennials just sounds like a younger-

Speaker 1:
[97:45] Yo, they age crazy.

Speaker 2:
[97:46] Yo, it's crazy to be older than the vice president. That shit just hit me right now.

Speaker 1:
[97:51] Yo, you know how old Seth Rogen is?

Speaker 2:
[97:52] Golly, how old do you think Seth Rogen is?

Speaker 1:
[97:54] I just guessed, how old do you think Seth Rogen is?

Speaker 9:
[97:56] Really? How old?

Speaker 1:
[97:57] Well, you're white, so y'all see each other different.

Speaker 2:
[97:59] Why, how old is he?

Speaker 1:
[98:00] He's 44.

Speaker 2:
[98:02] Yeah, that's how old we look.

Speaker 7:
[98:03] How old do you think he is?

Speaker 1:
[98:04] Seth Rogen?

Speaker 2:
[98:05] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[98:06] I thought Seth was in his 50s at least.

Speaker 2:
[98:08] Wow.

Speaker 1:
[98:08] You didn't think so, Seth Rogen?

Speaker 2:
[98:10] Fat people all kind of look the same age.

Speaker 1:
[98:13] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[98:14] From like 25 to like 45, they all look the same. You never seen a fat person that looked young or old. They just look fat.

Speaker 1:
[98:21] Seth ain't fat. Don't you think Seth is fat?

Speaker 2:
[98:23] He was fat. Like he embodied fat.

Speaker 1:
[98:25] I get what you're saying, though, because when Jonah Hill was fat, he could play a teenager. Yeah, you wouldn't even...

Speaker 2:
[98:30] Or he could play a 35-year-old. Like fat people have one age. It's fat.

Speaker 1:
[98:35] Jonah Hill looks the same, super bad, and in wolf mode.

Speaker 2:
[98:38] And then Jonah got skinny, he looked old. He got fat again, he looked young.

Speaker 1:
[98:43] He's in a new movie now I want to see. I haven't watched it yet. This is, you know, Apple with him and Keanu Reeves.

Speaker 2:
[98:47] Oh, shout out to Keanu.

Speaker 1:
[98:48] It was number one this weekend. I didn't get a chance to watch it.

Speaker 7:
[98:49] I watched You Were Bad Not Too Long ago. That is such a funny ass movie.

Speaker 8:
[98:53] Hilarious.

Speaker 7:
[98:53] I can't even tell how funny that shit was.

Speaker 8:
[98:55] Jonah's funny as fuck, man.

Speaker 9:
[98:56] Jonah's funny as.

Speaker 1:
[98:57] No, man, come on. Jonah's funny as, man. I don't think Jonah gets enough credit as a comedic actor. One of the fucking bad, I watched Superbad.

Speaker 2:
[99:06] Nah, bro, it's funny.

Speaker 1:
[99:08] For no reason.

Speaker 7:
[99:10] He wants my dick all up in and around his mouth.

Speaker 1:
[99:12] All up in and around her mouth. That is my shit, yo. He wants my dick all up in and around her mouth.

Speaker 8:
[99:18] She wants to fuck me.

Speaker 6:
[99:19] She wants my dick in and around her mouth.

Speaker 1:
[99:22] I like that type of shit. That shit was great. You know another good movie I watched this weekend?

Speaker 2:
[99:28] What?

Speaker 1:
[99:28] This shit is called, I went down to Rabbit Hole because I started watching Get Him to the Greek, and then I was just watching everything from getting Sarah Marshall.

Speaker 2:
[99:36] Diddy and Russell Brand. You watching a fucking Me Too Mount Rushmore right there.

Speaker 1:
[99:45] That's some good ass cinema. They played the fuck out of them roles. But then I started watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall because I forgot that character came from that movie.

Speaker 11:
[99:54] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[99:56] I watched this movie called Book Smart with Olivia Wilde. I forgot who else is in there. I forgot who the other person is in there. Fire? It's like about these two girls.

Speaker 2:
[100:08] Is girl super bad?

Speaker 1:
[100:10] Not as edgy, but there, right? These two girls who decide they want to, they wasted three years of high school, so they want to have like one great night. Yeah. And so that shit was pretty good. Frankie.ads.value says, what's your best childhood memory that your kids will never experience? Andrew.

Speaker 2:
[100:28] My best childhood memory.

Speaker 1:
[100:30] That your kids will never experience.

Speaker 2:
[100:32] That my kids will never experience. My best childhood memory. I don't know if they'll never experience it.

Speaker 1:
[100:42] Yeah. Because if it's your best childhood memory, I want my kids to experience it.

Speaker 2:
[100:47] I remember we were down two. I'm at the free throw line. There's like three seconds left. I hit the first free throw. Second free throw, I miss. I get the rebound. I put up a layup. We win the game.

Speaker 7:
[101:00] I think that's-

Speaker 2:
[101:00] Carmine Street Recreation Center. Shout out Ray Pagan. That shit was, oh, my dad was there. He's hyped.

Speaker 7:
[101:08] Why you mad?

Speaker 2:
[101:10] I'm not trying to get you. Ray Pagan, rest in peace, Ray, the goat. But he ran Carmine Street Recreation Center.

Speaker 1:
[101:17] Yeah. My best childhood memory.

Speaker 2:
[101:20] What could Ray Pagan be?

Speaker 1:
[101:22] I don't know. But you're creative.

Speaker 2:
[101:25] I am creative. I am creative. You gotta stand your toes.

Speaker 1:
[101:29] For me, my best childhood memory that my kids will never experience growing up in the country. Growing up in a rural area.

Speaker 2:
[101:35] You live in the woods.

Speaker 1:
[101:36] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[101:36] You hug trees.

Speaker 1:
[101:38] It's different growing up on a dirt road and playing in woods all day. We played in the woods. We got woods behind us that they could play in.

Speaker 2:
[101:45] But they're not going to do it. Yeah. Because they got video games and television and the Internet.

Speaker 1:
[101:49] I mean, they like going outside, but it's just like-

Speaker 2:
[101:51] No, but you guys were chasing bobcats and putting your dick in them.

Speaker 1:
[101:54] Word is bond. We was after the wildlife, bro. Like for real. The wildlife, we were after the wildlife.

Speaker 8:
[102:01] I'm trying to something.

Speaker 1:
[102:03] We weren't scared of no wildlife. Wildlife. Now you're going in there, you know these girls scared of deers, all types of shit, and probably rightfully so.

Speaker 2:
[102:10] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[102:11] And then when you live in Jersey, like it's unique shit out there.

Speaker 8:
[102:13] It is.

Speaker 2:
[102:14] They got bears.

Speaker 1:
[102:15] Bears and shit, word is bond. I ain't never seen a bear, but I'll always see the poop.

Speaker 8:
[102:20] What the?

Speaker 1:
[102:22] I thought I was turning into a whale.

Speaker 2:
[102:23] No, I thought Katy Perry put a pussy on your mouth.

Speaker 8:
[102:29] Allegedly, that's a horrible thing to say about somebody. That's a horrible thing to say.

Speaker 2:
[102:35] That's a horrible thing to say. That's not true.

Speaker 1:
[102:37] I don't even want to be here no more, man. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast, I think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know shit. You're right too. It's The Brilliant Idiots podcast. Thank you for listening. Peace.