transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:21] Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

Speaker 2:
[00:36] There I said it. Speaking of very deservingly successful ex sitcom stars, Theo has jewelry. I'm so proud of him. Claire Huxtable's like, I knew Theo could do it. I always believed in Theo. What? It's Nicky Hilton's jewelry launch party for Theo Grace. What's a stupid name? I'm sorry. Theo Grace jewelry. And also this jewelry is ugly as fuck.

Speaker 3:
[01:01] What is it?

Speaker 2:
[01:01] Bumblebees on... Golden bumblebees on squares?

Speaker 3:
[01:05] What is this?

Speaker 2:
[01:06] Who's buying this?

Speaker 1:
[01:08] I blocked it out. I'm sure it's all of Kyle's daughters are buying it.

Speaker 3:
[01:14] Theo Grace.

Speaker 2:
[01:16] So we go to the jewelry party at Kathy's house and she's telling Nicky, oh, it's so exciting. I'm so proud of you, honey. She's like, oh my God, mom, the pool looks so good. She's like, yeah, it does. My daughter Nicky's jewelry line, it's named after my two granddaughters. It's called Theo Grace.

Speaker 1:
[01:34] Yeah. Well, look, I'll keep an eye out for that. Nicky's like, the party starts in five minutes. She's like, people are arriving, mom. She's like, yeah, there's like so much you have to do to put together an event, because you've got to be thinking about everything, because no one else is going to do it. The valet, the flowers, the candles, the right lighting, you've got to put a headband on Carol. You know, the menu, helpers, waiters, bartender, making sure that there's a toilet paper, making sure your butler's actually alive and well. You know, if the details aren't perfect, it's not going to happen. You're not going to have a good time.

Speaker 2:
[02:02] How dare she? You know, Cathy's really an asshole sometimes. That she actually sat there and said with a straight face. I mean, her face can't move, but still straight face and said, no one else will do this stuff for you. Cut to Carol like, you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 3:
[02:15] You kidding me, bitch? I don't do anything.

Speaker 2:
[02:18] Carol does everything. How dare you?

Speaker 1:
[02:21] I also feel like Carol never gets to wear clothing that she wants to wear. I feel like every day Cathy sends her like a look and says like, you have to wear this today, Carol. Cause she always comes in with some outfit that's like sort of crazy. Look right.

Speaker 2:
[02:35] Today she is wearing like one of those flowery dresses that looks like blue china, you know, like flower china and a headband in her hair. What?

Speaker 1:
[02:42] The headband was so weird. What are you doing over there, Carol?

Speaker 2:
[02:47] Come on. And we know Cathy did it because Cathy walks up to a butler with a matching tie. It's like, oh, you like the tie I got for you, butler person? Yeah, I got you a bow tie too. What about that?

Speaker 1:
[02:58] Cathy is like a walking Project Runway challenge at the midpoint where they're like, okay, designers, a little bit of a twist. You have to put a headband into your look.

Speaker 3:
[03:08] Plus size headbands. Oh, this is so difficult.

Speaker 1:
[03:12] Cathy just walks around with a box of props and she puts them on all of her staff. Okay, so today for your look, you have to wear a flower in your lapel. It shoots water.

Speaker 2:
[03:24] So now we're in a car with Rachel, Kyle and Erika. And Kyle's like, how does Dorit sing? Ah, well, I was just going to say, I missed you guys the other night. Well, how was that? You know what? It was really nice. Like we talked about you not going, actually. There was like a picture. It was of this lady with really big shoulders. And I don't know, people kept talking about books. Someone dropped a purse. I don't know. Someone ate something called the Tums. I don't know. I don't really believe in eating, but it happened. I don't know.

Speaker 1:
[03:53] Amanda said something about fishing in a stream or something like that. She said stream a lot. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[03:57] Well, someone looked hot. I can tell you that someone looked fucking hot.

Speaker 1:
[04:03] Someone, there was like a rude moment. Like someone literally pulled the dress off of a woman. It was crazy. A little gay man got excited.

Speaker 2:
[04:12] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[04:12] Well, did you talk to her before or text her that you would tell me everything about what's going on?

Speaker 1:
[04:17] And, and they're like, no, it's like, what about you, Erika? Did you text her? She's like, no, I did not. Why not? Because I didn't want to and I didn't feel like it. And that's how I do things. But I'm dumb. Well, can't argue with that.

Speaker 3:
[04:32] I didn't want to.

Speaker 2:
[04:35] Well, she was sort of like, like Erika and I are more than that. Like I expect more than that.

Speaker 3:
[04:40] Oh yeah. Well, I expect more than her calling me the fitness. Reserve that for Camille grandma.

Speaker 2:
[04:46] Oh, okay. Well, last week you were so proud of bringing this word to America.

Speaker 1:
[04:51] So I know it is funny. Like Erika really can dish it, but she can't take it. Like I would think that that would not be the sticking point. So then we have-

Speaker 2:
[05:01] Because she has nothing else. I mean, that's the thing. And Kyle is so good at hammering things over and over until the audience is like, well, wait a minute, Dorit is an asshole. What has Dorit done? Can someone just, she's been late. I get that. I agree with that, that that's shitty. But in a court of law against a housewife, what has she done? She hasn't done anything to these people. That's what's cracking me up about this. Normally there's something that they can glom onto and come for somebody about. But when she even called you that, it was because you guys were coming for her at dinner, like you guys were coming for her at every single event. What has she done? Just someone make me a list. Make it in the comments, I'll read it.

Speaker 1:
[05:44] Yeah. And the other card with Bose and Dorit. Bose is like, I was talking to Erika and she told me that she went to Sutton's house. What? And you know what? The thing is, when I talked to her, she said she wanted to get your attention. And so we see a flashback of Bose talking to Erika on FaceTime. And she's like, tell me about last night. I was surprised you weren't there.

Speaker 3:
[06:02] She's like, well, at least now I've got her attention.

Speaker 1:
[06:06] She's like, girl, you got her attention, all right? Back to present.

Speaker 2:
[06:11] Wow. Congrats. Erika's such a brat. God, she's just fucking five-year-old. I cannot, you know what I said, I think multiple times during this, I cannot wait to see Erika go down. I've been waiting for it for years. Of course, I've been waiting to see Dorit and PK go down too. But these lawsuits are coming up, and I'm still rooting against Erika, even though she's been pretty funny this season. But she's just so snotty in her whole like, I don't care about anybody else.

Speaker 3:
[06:33] I don't care about anybody else's feelings. Fuck her, fuck that. And then we'll see when she's like, I just need support, I need support from my girls.

Speaker 2:
[06:42] Justice for Marco Marco, hashtag never forget.

Speaker 1:
[06:49] So Dorit is saying, to me, the punishment doesn't fit the crime. To me, it's like the ultimate friend betrayal. So now we're back at the Theo Grace party, and people are there, and Rachel shows up, and she's saying hi to Nikki. She's like, oh my God, how is Europe? Did you see the ghost in me there? Because that's where I like to live. I live there now, I used to live there. I lived in Tuscany, and then I died there, and now there's a ghost in me, and this is just a simulation. Did you see me?

Speaker 2:
[07:14] Oh my God, I'm so jealous. You look so gorgeous. I want to see the jewelry. I want to see everything. I'm so excited. All I've seen are like terrible golden bumblebees on squares going around. That's my jewelry. It's hot. It's really hot. It's great. You're amazing. You're so amazing.

Speaker 1:
[07:31] Kathy goes up to her butler. She's like, hello, Carlos. He's like, my name is Francis, but that's okay. You look so handsome. He's like, yeah, but not like you. Well, how fabulous is this tie? Do you love it? And I got you a bow tie too. And do you want to put on Carol's headband? Okay, Carol, you're wearing the bow tie now. Carlos gets the headband.

Speaker 3:
[07:51] You can tell by the hostess that she's doing it. Kathy's fucking hittin thrills at best fucking parties. Having the best lunches. She's got it. She's got it now.

Speaker 2:
[08:00] Erika's like carrying in Tupperware. Takes it home. So Kathy sees Revolino, her event coordinator. She's like, in the future, listen, I don't want every single flower arrangement the same. It looks like a charity event. It is a charity event.

Speaker 1:
[08:16] Isn't that?

Speaker 2:
[08:17] You're throwing for your daughter so that she can pretend she's a jewelry designer.

Speaker 1:
[08:22] Yeah. So Erika's like, nobody doesn't like Kathy Hilton. No one. They should all quit their non-jobs. Not even Chris Jenner.

Speaker 2:
[08:32] So Jennifer walks in and says, Oh, hello. Would you like a drink?

Speaker 3:
[08:37] She says, is that alcohol?

Speaker 2:
[08:38] I say, no, it's matcha.

Speaker 3:
[08:39] She goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What a beautiful day for a garden party. Hello, gorgeous girls.

Speaker 1:
[08:51] So everyone's taking pictures. It's all nice. And Kathy is like trying to get herself ready to smile. So she's like, ah, ah. She makes this noise and then they make it sound like it reverberates throughout all of Los Angeles. I'm like, oh, there's Kathy again.

Speaker 2:
[09:05] So Amanda comes over to the group and Erika's like, hello, money queen. Cause like, oh my God, your lipstick matches your bag. So they're asking about Dorit's event.

Speaker 1:
[09:15] That was so vapid. Stupid thing to say. What a stupid thing to observe. I mean, like, it's Kyle.

Speaker 2:
[09:21] And of course, every second she gets sick, how does Dorit think? How does Dorit think? What about Dorit think? Oh my God, if you didn't want to go and you're so uninterested, why are you so obsessed? Just leave it, Kyle. So Amanda's like-

Speaker 1:
[09:32] Kyle's unwavering dedication to observing people's bags when they walk in a room, because that's the first thing she looks at. What sort of bag do they have? Do I have it also in his mind better?

Speaker 2:
[09:41] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[09:41] So she's obviously like, oh, your lipstick matches your bag. It's like, yes, because you were staring at the bag, Kyle. We know it. You were sizing it up. You want one as well.

Speaker 2:
[09:48] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[09:49] So Amanda's like, well, I woke up and I was thinking I wasn't going to go to Dorit's thing. But then I remembered, I'm Amanda Francis. I believe in women. My ethos is standing for women on top of mountains. You can do it. And not relying on poor people that you met on Robertson Boulevard or you're going to marry just to shut up because I love poor people and women.

Speaker 2:
[10:14] It's like, oh my god.

Speaker 1:
[10:18] Okay, Amanda. So more people are saying hi. And Kathy is like, oh, was that your bee? That's a cute little bee jewel that you have. She's like, no, no, you gave it to me. Oh, it's so pretty. It's from you. It's from Nicky's line. It's like, it's pretty Nicky. Look, someone designed a really beautiful bee. It's mine, mother. I'm giving it to Carlos. Carlos, no more headband for you. You get the bee now. Mother.

Speaker 2:
[10:41] Kathy, he's like, I look at every detail of a party to make sure it's perfect. This party is for jewelry that I haven't looked at. Hey, did you catch me in a line? You did not. Did you catch me in a honey trap? Maybe.

Speaker 1:
[10:58] So Erika goes up on FaceTime and she FaceTimes John, the guy that she's been seeing, and he's like, Hi, love, what are you doing? You look great.

Speaker 3:
[11:06] She's like, thank you. You wanna meet my friend Kyle?

Speaker 1:
[11:08] He's like, not if he's a queer. No, no, Kyle, it's a girl. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2:
[11:15] He's like, just call me when you're done. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Speaker 1:
[11:22] So Amanda, they say hi, and Erika's like, this is my friend Amanda. I don't have to, I don't really, I just have to call her my friend because we're on camera. She's like, hi. Hi, we've heard so much about you. And this is, by the way, and this is Natalie. And I was like, like, okay, well, thanks, Natalie. Well, yeah, Natalie, that was a great contribution to the conversation out there.

Speaker 3:
[11:46] Natalie just popped a ping pong out. So that's Natalie, and this is Kyle.

Speaker 2:
[11:51] Kyle's like, oh, remember me? I did your astrology chart. It's the first time I ever did an astrology chart to just spit out a black and white flag.

Speaker 1:
[12:01] Yeah, that's great. Can I get back to watching Meg and Kelly now?

Speaker 3:
[12:04] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[12:06] I'm jerking off to Nancy Grace over here. Can you just call me when you get home? It's time for a commercial.

Speaker 3:
[12:12] It's time for a Crappens commercial.

Speaker 1:
[12:16] So then Amanda's like, is he officially your man friend?

Speaker 3:
[12:20] It's like, yeah, he's my official man.

Speaker 1:
[12:23] And then Kyle's like, that was a hard launch, everyone.

Speaker 3:
[12:26] Hard launch, on fleek.

Speaker 2:
[12:29] You can't say that Erika didn't do anything this season because she actually put a man on FaceTime on the very final episode. So.

Speaker 1:
[12:37] And that man was so chuggy. So.

Speaker 3:
[12:44] Hard launch.

Speaker 2:
[12:44] Anybody who doesn't think that man's a brick house needs to step off the curb, girlfriend.

Speaker 1:
[12:50] Oh my God, I wonder if Erika has him on her. Find my.

Speaker 2:
[12:54] God, that guy's got some Riz, am I right?

Speaker 1:
[12:58] R-I-Z-Z-G-O-D, am I right?

Speaker 2:
[13:05] So they're teasing her.

Speaker 3:
[13:06] They coming back, you're so in love.

Speaker 2:
[13:08] I'm sick.

Speaker 3:
[13:08] I'm so, you know, I feel so safe when I'm a John. I sense that there's no pretending or trying every, you know, everything softens. And I'm allowed to soften as well. Look at me, soft Erika, who just said she doesn't give a fuck. And she understands why that pasty guy left that stupid bitch Dorit in the first place. You know, I lived with Tom for 20 years. I swear to God, I was walking on ice every day. So this is like a nice, peaceful rest, which hopefully Tom will be in soon. You see, look at me, softer.

Speaker 1:
[13:35] You know, ever since the time I've learned so many lessons, you got to aim higher. You can't just go with the crook. That's why I hooked up with Armie Hammer, the cannibal, and now I'm with this guy Shrek. By the way, I saw Armie Hammer at Target. I try not to go to Target very much these days, but I had to go to get something.

Speaker 2:
[13:57] I think it got uncancelled because Gisele's ex-husband, Pastor Holy Horror said that we've uncancelled Target now.

Speaker 1:
[14:05] He said that, but I think everyone else said, why are you declaring this Jamal? Everyone was like, no, it's still on. The boycott is still on. And just Jamal decided, I guess he decided he wants to do the papers. And the guy's, guess what, it's off, but I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[14:20] My ass is crusty, I'm going back to Target. So you can get on board.

Speaker 1:
[14:24] But I did have to, I did have to emergency go.

Speaker 2:
[14:27] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[14:28] I did have to emergency go. And then I had a really disturbing moment because I was like, wow, who is that like tall, hot guy? And I was like, oh my God, it's Armie Hammer. I was like, no.

Speaker 2:
[14:39] Is he still hot?

Speaker 1:
[14:41] He was, he was hot. Oh my God, see why he was a star, like he's, he was hot. I regret to report to everyone Armie Hammer is hot.

Speaker 2:
[14:50] Was he buying A1 sauce?

Speaker 1:
[14:56] Little seasoning. I didn't really see what he was buying. He was very chatty with the, with the checkout person.

Speaker 2:
[15:04] No, I'm sure. The only people, only people that are required to talk to him. I'm sure he's very chatty.

Speaker 1:
[15:10] It's an exciting morning. So now all the ladies have now sit down together. Um, because this is the moment where they have to have a group scene. They're all seated and it's getting awkward. And Jennifer, she announced that she won't be able to stay very long because she had another obligation.

Speaker 3:
[15:27] Yeah, it's the Louis Vuitton thing. I thought, I thought it was another day, but it's today. So sorry. Sorry, I'm leaving the Bumblebee jewelry party to go to a Louis Vuitton thing, but that's just how the cookie crumb all cookie crumb all on me. If I know this house, I'm sure it's safe.

Speaker 1:
[15:50] So then Dorit and Boz join the ladies. And Dorit's like, a weaker person would feel intimidated by this display of a lion's den. I don't see lions. I see cowards. Because by the way, when they walked in, she's like, look at them, a lion's den. I'm not afraid. I will be the lion slayer. I'm not afraid of the lions. I'm like, no one is looking at Sutton and Kyle and being like, look at those lions. It's more like, look at those, I don't know, any other animal would actually say-

Speaker 2:
[16:21] Dragons. So she goes over-

Speaker 1:
[16:24] It's sort of like a really lame animal, but it just sounds actually, people would be like, how dare you call them a yak or something? I don't know.

Speaker 2:
[16:30] You're calling women yaks now?

Speaker 3:
[16:32] Well, great. You're canceled. I'm canceling my subscription.

Speaker 1:
[16:37] I was trying to think of a gentle animal.

Speaker 2:
[16:39] I just love that it's great.

Speaker 3:
[16:40] She's like, I don't see lions. I see cowards, but the lion was a coward. And there are sea lions. Very confused, but I'm walking over anyway, because I'm a strong woman who's impudent.

Speaker 2:
[16:54] So she goes over and I will say, you know, this is like the fourth or fifth time in a row that she's had to walk up to a table where she knows everybody hates her and it's going to immediately start yelling at her. And she's like, all right, well, I'm earning that money, you know, you can think whatever you want about Dorit, but she's just like, all right, I'll go sit with these hookers. Just let them yell at me for a while. Let's go. Here we go. Give me a drink.

Speaker 1:
[17:19] Let's get back. Let's get back in there to be in the lion's den. So so she gets her drink, sends her drink. Faye Resnick walks in. Faye's like, hi everyone, it's Faye Resnick, and I ordered the Lacey from the Valley haircut. How's everyone doing?

Speaker 2:
[17:39] Well, everyone knows the one and only Nikki Haskell. And so we see Nikki Haskell. Get Nikki Haskell on this show.

Speaker 1:
[17:48] Everyone's like, yay, Nikki Haskell. And you know that like four of those women are like, who is she? Dorit's like, I'm sorry, he was this lion, or should I call her coward, coward, Nikki Haskell? Dorit, Dorit, she's not here to gang up on you. She just needs a seat.

Speaker 3:
[18:05] Listen Sutton, I'm not taking one moment of your bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[18:08] Oh, that's Nikki Haskell. Oh, I'm sorry, Diaz.

Speaker 3:
[18:11] I'm sorry.

Speaker 1:
[18:14] Well, Nikki Haskell, do you have an excuse for why you didn't come to my book cover unveiling? I was, I don't know you actually. Oh, real convenient, Nikki Haskell.

Speaker 2:
[18:28] I know Nikki Haskell from her book, Nikki Haskell's Star Diet, Look and Feel Like a Star with Hollywood's Favorite Seven Day Diet.

Speaker 1:
[18:41] Nikki Haskell, is there anything you can't do? Move her nose.

Speaker 2:
[18:46] Is there anything that you won't not eat? There's not. So, I want-

Speaker 1:
[18:52] Nikki Haskell is like, she just was like, this poor, this lady, she's, you know, she is blessed to be in a certain age in her life and she just needs a seat. She's like, oh God, I gotta sit and listen to these bitches all fight now. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[19:09] So, Jennifer's like, okay, goodbye. To have something better to do. You're all fabulous people, goodbye.

Speaker 2:
[19:15] So, she leaves and Bose comes over and everyone's congratulating her on her engagement and Dorit comes over and Denise is kind of talking to Dorit a little bit and saying that she's doing fine and stuff. And they're talking about Bose wedding for a little bit. So, Dorit comes over and she's like, well, the gang is here.

Speaker 3:
[19:36] Well, hello gang. Hello everyone. Hello.

Speaker 2:
[19:41] And they just all look at her. Just like swimming in her car. It's like, ah, ah, pulsing her throat.

Speaker 3:
[19:47] Like, boop, boop, boop, boop.

Speaker 1:
[19:51] Denise is like, guys, I gotta go. Charlie's got a premiere. He's starring in the live action remake of Empty Nest. This movie. Gotta go, Diana invited me to beer plus one.

Speaker 2:
[20:07] OK, listen, Charlie getting another movie is the least believable. Is this check getting up jewelry line? Am I right? All right. Good to see you guys.

Speaker 1:
[20:17] Single, you know, so Kyle was like, um, Dorit, I heard your event was a success the other night. So as someone who's been in a successful movie franchise called Halloween, I can really appreciate that. Yeah, I just want to say congratulations. So, yeah, it was great.

Speaker 3:
[20:34] Really great. Well, thank you. Thank you, Kyle.

Speaker 1:
[20:37] She's good. I hope it's a big success. You know, I hope you can join me in the success seat. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[20:44] So Kathy comes over and she's got a little fan and I was like, oh, my God, I didn't know if that was like a fan or a phone. That's crazy. It's the same thing I said. Yeah. Julie was Louise Dreyfus the first time I saw her. I said, are you a fan or a phone?

Speaker 1:
[20:59] It was so awkward when I lifted up her hair and tried to talk into her. Dorit goes, it's a fan that looks like a phone. I was like, oh, things are getting crazy.

Speaker 2:
[21:07] So here we go. Let's watch Kyle not at all start a fight. So later she can say, why are you starting a fight with me? So Kyle goes, Dorit, can I say something? Obviously, you were hurt the other night at your event and upset.

Speaker 3:
[21:18] Okay, yes, very deeply, deeply.

Speaker 2:
[21:22] Well, even if things were great, like it would have been a struggle because I would really be, I would really be killing myself to get there right now. And I don't even think you're talking to me still. So like we haven't even spoken.

Speaker 3:
[21:31] She goes, okay, well, you both made a choice. All three of you did. And that's fine.

Speaker 2:
[21:36] That's fine. Okay, well, it'll lead to you. Like I was feeling hurt. Oh my God, Kyle, can the woman sit down? Like she just came over and you're immediately starting a fight. You're so annoying. We do this every single time. She's trying so hard and she gets Insta aggressive too.

Speaker 1:
[21:51] She's like, so I was feeling hurt and like you said that you didn't feel supported by me. And like I've actually always been there to support you because like whether it was Lucy the dog, whether it was the burglary, whether it was people accusing you of having a fake accent. By the way, I love how she throws the burglary in between Lucy, Lucy, Apple, juicy and like fake accent, like two trivial things. And then you throw in the like actual dramatic thing in the middle. Like I supported you during when you were going through PTSD. It's like, yeah, you should have. She was sitting there like shaking on the little bench outside your house. And you're giving yourself a victory laugh for being supportive to your friend who's like in shambles.

Speaker 2:
[22:26] Yes. And let's not forget Lucy, Lucy, Applejuice was your story. You used to read that story, not the other way around. Dorit gave that dog away and you forced it on TV and you forced her to fight with Vanderpump about it. And you forced Vanderpump to fight with her about it until you got Vanderpump off the show. So you can try and rewrite this shit as you're trying to do something, oh, so sweet for Dorit. You used Dorit as a cudgel. So shut the fuck up about that. And the burglary, you've had five yourself that we've all had to hear for all the years. And then people accusing you of having a fake accent. You weren't one of those people. You've been making fun of her accent for years, talking about fucking hypocrite Kyle.

Speaker 1:
[23:06] That's right.

Speaker 2:
[23:09] You just said two weeks ago, whatever accent she's going to use.

Speaker 1:
[23:13] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[23:14] What accent is she going to use today? Kyle, you fucking liars, little hypocrite.

Speaker 1:
[23:18] I always have had your back. Well, what about my divorce? Well, what about your divorce? Why don't we stay in like the actual, why don't we actually stay in the actual last three years? And you can tell I'm really mad because I'm playing the invisible piano in front of me while I talk, okay? Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Okay, Kyle?

Speaker 2:
[23:36] Well, we've been trying to support you, all of us. I mean, last year I was really trying to support you. That's why I was sending PK memes, you know? And then this year I've been really trying to support you, which is why I've been trying to make you look crazy so that PK can get the kids into divorce. Kyle, all of us tried to support you, right girls?

Speaker 3:
[23:52] She's like, Kyle, I'm just talking about you.

Speaker 2:
[23:55] Well, do you understand that though? Like it's strange that you're upset with me because like every single person in this group has made a comment about what's going on, not just your life, like each other's lives. It's not you, you know? Like we're not the sole focus, but like you're only upset with me, you're like... Because you're the one coming out or all the time like you're doing right now. You're annoying.

Speaker 1:
[24:14] Every conversation is initiated by you or you're involved. That's not true, that's just not true. It's like you've had a conversation with Bose, with Erika, with Amanda. It's like, why do you say that I had it with them instead of that they had it with me or what? Well, how come there's only one common denominator? I don't know what a denominator is, but if it has to do with being a successful actress, it's like, thank you.

Speaker 2:
[24:36] Yeah, and they had the conversations with you because you brought it up to all of those ladies, Kyle. We saw you do it. It's on camera. And Kyle's like, well, one common denominator is you because you've fought with everybody lately. I'm not the enemy and nobody hears the enemy.

Speaker 3:
[24:50] It's like, oh, they're still fucking acting like one, Kyle.

Speaker 2:
[24:53] It's like, oh, please. We've like done no different than I was doing. Like everybody here, like, and nobody spoke maliciously, including myself, except when I made fun of your accent. It called you crazy. So can someone please speak up and say that?

Speaker 3:
[25:06] Someone, someone, anyone, anyone.

Speaker 2:
[25:08] Like she now is yelling for support because she's instructed everybody to come fight with Dorit and now nobody's going in with her because she looks like a deranged, aggro, crazy person.

Speaker 1:
[25:18] Yes. Erika goes like, yes, yes. She's like, oh my God, for sake, I want everyone to speak the truth right now. Quit fucking doing this to me. Quit fucking doing this. How many times, though, should we do like a flashback to Sutton going out on a limb and confronting Erika four or five years ago and then Kyle just sitting there, like her eyes bulging, not saying a single word. How many times has Kyle disappeared into the anonymity of the herd? Right. So Bose is like, well, I usually like to help problem solve situations. This is not the time for that. Right now, Dorit and Kyle, they just need to address their issues with each other. Anybody else jumping in? Is that just going to muddy the situation? I don't know. I'll just have to go ask Gilly.

Speaker 3:
[25:55] Well, Kyle, you are gossiping, and if it's genuine concern, why not come to me? And Erika's like, I don't think it's gossip. What was that Kyle?

Speaker 2:
[26:03] Oh, Erika, Kyle goes, what was that, Erika? You want to say it louder so I don't have to do this on my own?

Speaker 3:
[26:10] I don't think it's gossip.

Speaker 1:
[26:11] Thank you. And Sutton's like, oh, are we allowed to talk? I don't think it's gossip either. There, hello Kyle, I'm your supporter too. Dorit's like, well, it's very simple. You try to get your gang together, a gang that I was part of for about seven or eight years. You try to get your gang together so that you feel like you've got the team members and you've got a clique. And Sutton's like, well, she's not getting the gang together. And if she were, does that mean?

Speaker 3:
[26:34] No, no.

Speaker 2:
[26:36] Says the gang all together.

Speaker 1:
[26:38] Yeah, I mean, she's not getting the gang together though. Now that you say that, am I in the gang? Am I in the gang? Oh my God, I'm in the gang. Okay, I'm calling, hold on one second. I'm gonna call my mom. Hey mom, I'm in the gang finally.

Speaker 2:
[26:51] Hey, shame on you. My mother just doesn't support me.

Speaker 1:
[26:57] Dorit is my friend and I have her back, but also it's not my place to tell these girls that they're not right. This is clearly yours in the making of issues in their friendship and it's coming to a head. And I am dead, it's like a dead head. You know what else is coming to a head? The hat that Xander's wearing. It's so cute on him. I love his hat, honestly.

Speaker 3:
[27:19] And what did I do to you, Erika? Tell me what I did, Erika. She goes, remember what you did to me in Italy at the table? And how low you went?

Speaker 2:
[27:27] How low she went? Cause she said the C word.

Speaker 3:
[27:30] All the things you said? Tell me, please. Dorit, Erika, first of all, don't talk to me like that. Don't talk to me like that. What did she do?

Speaker 2:
[27:41] She repeated your name.

Speaker 1:
[27:44] Don't talk to you like what?

Speaker 3:
[27:45] Like that.

Speaker 1:
[27:46] You can tone it down or we can have a civil conversation. I'm all for civil.

Speaker 3:
[27:51] Really?

Speaker 1:
[27:51] Were you civil when you called me a cut fitness in Italy?

Speaker 3:
[27:55] Ha!

Speaker 2:
[27:58] Erika's really grasping onto that one.

Speaker 1:
[28:01] Erika, it's a 10-year friendship. It's non-Dorit. And Dorit is like doing the mental math. But 10 minus 2 plus 1 carry the 3. This is 9 years. Just trust me on it, Dorit. 9 years.

Speaker 2:
[28:16] I thought it was interesting because she pointed out like it's 9 years, like it's a big diss. But in LA., there's that whole thing about like, when you're together for 10 years, that's when you're really. Because then you have to, you know, give more, or you have to give more past your NDA or whatever. I thought it was interesting that Erika was like, We didn't make it to 10.

Speaker 3:
[28:35] Shut up, Dorit. You know, I cannot be shushed 2, 3 times. Your hand in my face, left in the town. You don't want to hear anything what I'm saying, that's what you get.

Speaker 1:
[28:45] Please. Okay, Erika, you have my undivided attention. It's like, okay, I want you to soften your edges because you know what? You can't keep letting us have it one by one all the fucking time, which is funny because Erika is the one with the sharp cold edges who gives it to everyone all the fucking time.

Speaker 2:
[29:04] Yeah, she's not. Dorit just came over here and said, hello. You guys are the one jumping all over her ass. She didn't even say anything to you. She didn't even say, Erika, you didn't come to my party until you piped up.

Speaker 1:
[29:15] But I will say, I mean, Dorit has been awfully agitated this season, whether it's deserved or not. And it was kind of funny to me watching Erika be like, okay, you need to settle down. Okay, we've been dealing with this all season long. Can you just like pipe down for a second? That's basically what she's saying.

Speaker 2:
[29:32] Well, she's agitated because she comes to the dinner and they're coming after her every time. It's not like she's just showing up like, you know, bitches, you know, they're like Dorit, you suck. And then she's like, no, I don't. They're like, why are you mad? Because you just said I sucked.

Speaker 1:
[29:48] She is trying hard to reach you and you're not home and you're not listening to her. And we're all here talking about you. So we're all here talking about your finances because you've made it very, okay, well, that's very interesting, Erika, because I don't know who you really are because one minute you're nice, one minute and one minute you're not. She's like, oh, okay, good. Okay, all right, this is what we're doing. Suddenly everything's changed overnight. You know that I'm a single mother. I'm hustling my ass off. I've joined the workforce. I don't know if you've heard, but I'm out there, Rosie the Riveter. And this book cover release was so important and meaningful to me because now I could finally put the porridge on the table for my sweet children's that they can make it to class, where they can learn the fine art of plumbing and building things, and someday making a name for themselves. That's what I'm doing out here.

Speaker 3:
[30:36] Do you know what it's like? Having Christmas Eve, putting cookies out, waking up the next morning, nobody's eaten the cookies or any of the crisps in the pantry. Do you know what that did to Jiggy? Do you know what it did to Jiggy?

Speaker 1:
[30:50] You'll have to excuse me because Jagger, Phoenix and I are going to a subway to sing songs together and earn a few dollars. Sorry.

Speaker 3:
[30:57] Jack is just finishing up his, we'll work for a beer, sign, going under a freeway. Phoenix has one that says, why lie? I need heroin. Very creative, my children.

Speaker 1:
[31:14] So Erika's like, okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 3:
[31:17] She's like, no, we have all this.

Speaker 1:
[31:19] It's like, okay, all right, that's fine.

Speaker 3:
[31:21] Say what you want to say.

Speaker 1:
[31:22] She's like, and you couldn't even pick up the phone to call me, me, a single mother, part of the workforce.

Speaker 3:
[31:26] She's like, no, I could not. I need a minute, yeah, to process everything, okay, and really assess a nine year relationship. All right, do that, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2:
[31:45] Erika's just like sitting on a boat with a fishing pole, like, ugh, what?

Speaker 1:
[31:49] I thought Erika was so funny. I thought this was funny. She's like, okay, fine, fine. Okay, you do that, you do that. She's like, and you being okay with that with what you did? She's like, okay, I am okay with what I did, because I feel very firmly in what I did. This is not the guilt, this is not the guilt group over here. I'm really cool, it's fine. She's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 3:
[32:10] Well, I see that you feel that way. Well, yeah, I do. Okay, well, at least now I have a chance to see the real you. Okay, good, glad you did. We done? Now I can process it. Okay, good. Now the check is done. The check has been delivered and paid so we can leave the restaurant. Fine, get the out of the restaurant then.

Speaker 2:
[32:29] Great, and bon voyage.

Speaker 3:
[32:31] We've had a good way going away party. Now we throw flowers at you, it's done. All right, it's done. I'm leaving now, bye. I'm in a car, turn it on. You can't hear it, it's a hybrid. Fine, you're in a hybrid. Right, I'm backing up now, but you can't hear it. Don't get in the way of the hybrid, I'm leaving. Bye, bitch.

Speaker 1:
[32:53] Off to my shift at the factory. So, well, I'm working here in Allentown.

Speaker 3:
[32:59] Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a heck of a lot. Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a thing, but give it to me every hour, every hour, 40 hours a week. That's enough for me to be living like a queen.

Speaker 1:
[33:13] Do you know how much my feet hurt from sliding down the back of that brontosaurus at the end of the day? Dorit, you're not in the Flintstones.

Speaker 2:
[33:21] Then why do you stick stick my car over?

Speaker 3:
[33:24] That's just PK.

Speaker 1:
[33:26] I wasn't going to go there.

Speaker 3:
[33:33] Here comes one right now. All right, well, if you've got something to say, you should say it right fucking now. You want me to say more? No, not really.

Speaker 1:
[33:46] Well, you did say that you didn't come to the cover reveal party because you wanted to get my attention. Yeah, I got it, don't I? Erika, you would have gotten it by picking up the fucking phone. Oh, the phone? He said the phone or a fan, am I right, guys? Remember that call back? And then Erika said-

Speaker 2:
[34:03] Do you remember the time Kyle tried to fan herself with that girl from Seinfeld?

Speaker 1:
[34:10] We were both on Must See TV on the same night. Excuse me, I was on ER.

Speaker 3:
[34:17] You have nothing else to say. That's right. Good, we're good. Okay.

Speaker 1:
[34:23] Oh yeah.

Speaker 3:
[34:24] We're good, we're good.

Speaker 1:
[34:26] We're good.

Speaker 2:
[34:28] Okay, guys, wrap it up. Wrap it up.

Speaker 1:
[34:32] If this is who Erika is now, I don't really want that friendship. I don't really want a friend who can turn their back so quickly when you are the lowest point of your life.

Speaker 3:
[34:44] Oh, so she's like, anything else that I need to hear that I haven't hooned?

Speaker 2:
[34:49] Because I'm done talking about this.

Speaker 3:
[34:51] Okay, well, I'm going to get a drink. This was very something else. Unproductive is what it was. Fucking painful is what it was.

Speaker 2:
[34:59] You know what? I think like a lot of this is not what you're saying. It's how you're saying it. Like you need to be hotter.

Speaker 1:
[35:06] Maybe you could like sing it to the tune of Happy Birthday. Xander, that's so good. It's too annoying to have a conversation with her to be honest. It really is. I think that like if Kyle says, I'm concerned because you seem different and you seem like this and you seem that. That'd be more effective. Thanks, Rachel, for weighing in on this. After the fact, you could have helped her along beforehand, okay?

Speaker 2:
[35:27] Yeah. I think Rachel's probably like the audience at this point. Like, this is so stupid. What are you guys even fighting about? Wrap it up. And so Kyle's like, this year has been filled with difficult moments, but like a lot of really beautiful moments too. And then we see Kyle's ending montage where she's very, you know, she's very upset that, you know, here she is this point of her in her life and she just doesn't know what's going on and where's her husband and her kids are going to be gone. Kyle, go get on the bull with Morgan and shut the fuck up. I'm not buying, I'm still not buying it. I'm not watching this.

Speaker 1:
[36:03] So yeah, we see shots of Alexia's wedding and everything.

Speaker 2:
[36:07] Which Dorit was at by the way.

Speaker 1:
[36:09] Yeah, the question was whether or not Dorit was actually going to go because she was invited, but she did go. In the end, Dorit did show up for Alexia's wedding, but Kyle and Dorit have not spoken since. And while Kyle and Mo did not end up sharing a room at the wedding, neither are ready to pull the trigger on a divorce.

Speaker 2:
[36:26] So Kyle says she forgives and forgets and doesn't hold a grudge ever, which is hilarious. Lisa Vanderpump's like just laughing somewhere like, ha ha ha, magic. Rachel's like, oh my God, I do. I hold a grudge forever. I love grudges.

Speaker 1:
[36:46] Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you know, we've seen how you feel about Brad Koresky. So sure, all thing is that things with Roger been improving and she's been sort of debuting a new romance on the red carpets, but not by the valet stand. Could you believe Raj made out with a girl at a valet stand? Like, I die, I die.

Speaker 2:
[37:04] Yeah, that's the thing in Beverly Hills, cause PK got caught by a valet stand, Mauricio got caught by a valet stand, Roger got caught, they're all at valet stands. That's when you really get horny. It's like someone's bringing around that car, ah-ha-woo!

Speaker 3:
[37:18] So Erika's like, she don't want to be my friend, she doesn't understand that I'm frustrated with her, it's fine, whatever, I don't fucking care. This group was lost. I'm sad there's a distance between Dorit and I, but I'm fine. You know, things resolve themselves when they, when they're supposed to.

Speaker 1:
[37:34] Her thing is that her $25 million trial is starting up this month. It may have already started. I don't know, but like it's starting in April. And, but you know what though, she's in a good relationship and her, she also has her new DJ career as DJ Pretty Mess.

Speaker 2:
[37:51] Yeah, so I'm sure that's gonna go great. And Boz is like, well, I think it's clear as mud. Not talking about the diamond Keely gave me, just I don't really even know what's going on now. And so Boz is gonna try another round of IVF while planning two weddings on two different continents. She and Keely are still searching for a bit part for Keely to play on television. That's not this show, but Keely's yet to get his own drawer.

Speaker 1:
[38:17] Then Sutton says, I'll be back. I'm gonna go aerate the yard some more everyone. Which is funny, cause I think she means she's gonna walk around in her stilettos or gonna aerate the yard, but it sounds like she's, in a weird way, it just sounds like she's gonna go like fart somewhere. Sutton says, Sutton is working on making Sutton Brown official and keeping her zen mentally and keeping away from vodka, LOL, while she struggles with her empty nest. Sutton finds Salas in her gang of pets and Reba. It also sort of sounds like Sutton's trying to wean herself off of empty nest reruns, and so she's watching Reba reruns instead. She's like, I found a new sitcom that I really like.

Speaker 2:
[38:55] I'm out of Reba's, so I'm on a happy, happiest place. I love that they're making the alcohol a part of her ending when we just saw her drinking a giant glass of vodka. So I can't help it. She's really working on staying away from that alcohol. So then Amanda's like, Sutton, I'm bringing you your sunglasses. Okay, wow, Sutton and Amanda just go home. Sutton's gonna go aerate the yard more. That's her last line. And Amanda's like, here's your sunglasses. So then we see that Amanda and Eddie legally tied the knot in a civil service on 99.25. We see the ceremony. And for the richer or poorer part, Amanda's like, we're gonna need to say richer for richer.

Speaker 1:
[39:42] Yeah. And even like her man is like, Amanda, please not right now. It's like, can we just do this? So then Nicky and Kyle are talking and Nicky's like, oh my God, you guys have been fighting for so long, but I'm gonna go to dinner. I got bored watching all the old ladies fight. So I was like, no, no, don't leave. No, no, but you're my relevance. So then Sutton and Boz and Dorit are like sitting together and Sutton's like, hey, may I join you? So I didn't really get to have my fat earlier and I was wondering if I could do my fat now. So Dorit, I just want to speak to you for a second and she's like, that's okay. She's like, sure, okay. Well, I know you don't care to speak to me and you've made that very evident. Look, notice how I made myself the victim to me failing on your party. Yes. But do you want to explain to me what happened at Rachel's and why you told me you were going to hate me forever? It's like, it was a joke.

Speaker 2:
[40:42] She's such an idiot. Like, is she really this stupid or is she just this annoying? Sutton, you are not a victim. She was totally kidding with you. She said at the time she was kidding. She's like, it's a juke. And she's like, well, you didn't say it in a joking way.

Speaker 3:
[40:56] It's a juke for crying out loud, Sutton.

Speaker 2:
[41:00] She's like, well, it hurt my feelings.

Speaker 3:
[41:01] She's like, then you know what, Sutton, I'm very sorry. I'm going to give you sucking on a lozenge face. I'm very sorry, Sutton, that it hurt you.

Speaker 2:
[41:12] Well, you know, that didn't even seem like you are sorry for it. So Sutton, you come to her, you get an apology. The apology is not good enough. You have a fit and go pretend to cry. Just go.

Speaker 1:
[41:22] Yeah. So she's like, you know, I really shouldn't worry about Dorit's dismissal because it's not like she's living this great life that I want to be part of it. But if Dorit just wants to be on this island with Bose and Rachel who say yes and touch their hair and hold their hand, that's fine. Cause I'll be on an island where I do that to Kyle and my island's better. Okay, fine.

Speaker 2:
[41:42] Yeah. And I like that she kind of got mad. She kind of showed the real Sutton when she's like, well, I don't care about Dorit's dismissal cause I mean, her life sucks. Which hearkens back to her. Maybe you should get a wallet.

Speaker 3:
[41:54] Maybe you should fight with a wallet that fits.

Speaker 2:
[41:56] She's like, why would I want to be friends with this poor bitch? I don't care. You do care though. Cause you're following her around everywhere. No one cares Sutton.

Speaker 3:
[42:05] So Dorit's like, I need to get back to my kids, which is what I say now for everything. I need to get back to my kids.

Speaker 1:
[42:13] I'm going to go. And so then Dorit says, Sutton's like, and you're wondering why I didn't come to your thing, okay? Cause she says, I'm sorry, Dorit says, Sutton, what you have to say is irrelevant to me. You've had a lot of chances. Oh, and you're wondering why I didn't come to your party. She goes, ah, you are out of lives. What? I'm out of lives?

Speaker 2:
[42:34] What does that mean? Dorit threatened to murder me, you know? I'm trying to apologize. I'm trying to get an apology and to re-murder me. Right there, I'm dead.

Speaker 1:
[42:43] You're nine lives, nine lives. Everyone's going to, all the cats are dead. I've taken all their lives. They're all done. No more cats. There are no cats in America.

Speaker 2:
[42:54] You're nine lives, they're done. And she's like, but I'm not a cat. Oh God, Sutton, Jesus Christ, unbearable. So the ladies are watching this from down, you know, of course, Kyle's like, ah, and Nikki says, this is like a car crash. Sutton's like, why don't I want to be your friend when I see how you're treating two great friends?

Speaker 3:
[43:13] I'm just go Sutton.

Speaker 2:
[43:15] It's like, well, I've witnessed you treat your friends like they're all summer. I'm dead serious now.

Speaker 3:
[43:19] I'm not interested. No soliciting.

Speaker 1:
[43:24] It's like, I'm not interested in resolution. Well, you really need to check on yourself. Sutton, I know you need a moment, but I'm not interested in it. Like, I know you're trying to have a little moment. This is the finale, but like, you missed your chance. She's like, so basically, Dorit, just sounds like, well, I don't need a moment. I'm walking out the door, girl. She's like, okay, goodbye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Speaker 3:
[43:48] Yeah. Love the bow.

Speaker 2:
[43:51] Because Sutton's got this big, huge bow on the back that looked like wings. And Rachel's like, yeah, I actually really do love the bow, though. She goes, I do too.

Speaker 3:
[44:00] It was a joke. What is wrong with this kiss?

Speaker 1:
[44:05] One thing I've realized about friendships, ones that I have in this group, there's real history and there's real love, and it's fractured. And I don't know where we go from here. All I know is anything can change. Ask me again in six months. But for real, I don't know where we go from here. I don't know how to get home. Can anyone drive me? I'm lost.

Speaker 3:
[44:25] Where are we right now? What's this? Where are my shoe to boots?

Speaker 1:
[44:31] The roads are so confusing in Bel Air. I need an Uber.

Speaker 2:
[44:38] And that's the end. Dorit's book is set to release in June, 2026 while her divorce is still pending. She lost dead weight in both her relationship and friendships and loves being unbooted.

Speaker 1:
[44:50] That's it. Three part reunion coming up that looks pretty feisty. We'll be covering that. And in the meantime, stick around for our coverage of Ladies of London. And we will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens. Coming up.

Speaker 2:
[45:06] See you guys later.

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[46:13] Aren't you glad it's Mary Ann Ahrens?

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[46:15] Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

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Speaker 1:
[47:00] Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcolani. Roger that, it's Marliss Rogers.

Speaker 2:
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